#as marauders quotes

[doof-bleibt-doof]

Things my friends have said as marauders quotes pt. idk

Sirius: Lesbian sex

James:

James: What-

James: I'm texting with my hot sexy murderer boyfriends, and then you come here with lesbian sex wtf

Sirius: I'm watching black swan

Sirius: and there's lesbian sex

James: Ohhhhh that makes sense

[jameskinniesrise]

Remus: James have you ever won an argument with Regulus.

James: We never argue. He speaks French and I shut up.

[immadeofdustandshadows]

Sirius, about the fight jegulus just had: so when you two fight, he makes you sleep on the couch?

James: no, it's even worse. He sleeps on the couch. So on top of being alone, I'm left feeling guilty that he has to sleep on the couch because of me and I'm up all night thinking about my actions.

Sirius: *thinking* I have to make sure that Remus never learns this.

Regulus: I slept like a baby.

Remus: *nodding* I see.

[stargazingtranquility]

*James, bringing Regulus home to meet his parents*

Regulus, seeing Monty and realizing James will always be hot no matter his age: thank the lord

Effie, seeing the same look she had when she met Monty’s parents for the first time: amen

[raphael-angele]

James: Dad, this is my boyfriend, Regulus. Reggie, this is my dad, Fleamont

Monty: *goes to shake his hand* Monty is just fine

Regulus: *shakes his hand* Nice to finally meet you, sir.

Monty: Wow, look at you. You're much more attractive than those pictures your brother has of you.

James: Dad...

Monty: What a handsome young man you are.

James: Dad!

Monty: *chuckles* Well, I'm gonna go help your mother in the kitchen. Are you staying for supper, Regulus?

Regulus: Uhm...*looks at James*

James: I was about to ask him that.

Regulus: It would be a pleasure, sir.

Monty: I look forward to it. *leaves*

Regulus: *tucks his hair behind his ears and fixes his sleeves*

James: ...what was that?

Regulus: What?

James: You tucked your hair behind your ear and you fixed your sleeves

Regulus: So?

James: ...you only do that when you like someone!

Regulus: What? No, I don't

James: You did it for me, for Crouch, and for Remus! I know that move!

Regulus: You're being ridiculous

James: And my dad?! Are you kidding me?! My dad?

Regulus: Well...you look just like him.

James: Doesn't change the fact that he's my dad. And he's married. Not to mention the fact that he's basically 70

Regulus: And a successful potioneer.

James: Are you serious right now?

Regulus: Wha- Sirius already called dibs?!

James: Oh my Gods!!!

[incorrect-maraudersaandco-quotes]

Evan: I love you, I really do, but we can't date Barty: What? Why? Evan: Because what happens if we break up? Barty: ... Barty: ! Barty: Who gets Regulus in the divorce?! Evan: Exactly!

[honeylemonntea]

Remus: “They’re just so frustrating.”

Remus: “Regulus has been dropping obvious hints that he likes James and he still doesn’t get it!”

Sirius: *wearing a ‘PLEASE SNOG ME, MOONY’ hat* “Wow that’s crazy”

[my-castles-crumbling]

Falling asleep in the dorms…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think I like Evans anymore.”

“Shit mate, took you long enough.”

“Heh. Yeah.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah, Prongs?”

“I might like boys. Also. Like as well as girls.”

“Join the club, Prongs. Just stay the fuck away from Moony.”

“Noted.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yeah, mate?”

“What if I like a particular bloke?”

“…it’s not me, is it? Because Moony would probably kill you.”

“No.”

….

“Sirius?”

“Yes, Prongs?”

“It’s your brother.”

“I know.”

“You know?”

“Yeah, I was just fucking with you before.”

“Right.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Yes Prongs?”

“That’s…it’s okay?”

“Yes, James. I’d rather it be you than anyone else, to be honest.”

“Alright.”

…

“Sirius?”

“Go the fuck to sleep, Prongs. We’ll come up with a plan to woo him tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

….

“James?”

“What’s up, Padfoot?”

“Take care of him, alright?”

“…..yeah. Yeah, of course.”

[spiritstar477]

Sirius: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Remus: baby, I’d make you a lovely little enclosure with all the dirt and compose you’d ever want. I’d hold you and take you places in my pocket and kiss you good night. I’d—. . .

vs

Remus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Sirius: *thinks* yeah, I’d fuck a worm

Remus: *looks at the camera like in the office*

—————————————————————————————————————

James: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Regulus: it depends… were you always a worm or were you transfigured into one? The former, no, we’d never have met. The latter, then yes, and I’d figure out how to turn you back.

vs

Regulus: would you still love me if I was a worm?

James: yes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

—————————————————————————————————————

Barty: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Evan: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

vs

Evan: would you still love me if I was a worm?

Barty: I’d cut you up so I could have a bunch of you

(bc they’re both batshit insane)

[moondustinfj]

James: He hates me! Why does your uncle hate me Sirius??

Sirius: Oh...Because I told him you were the one who smoked pot in my room when I visited him in 5th year

James: WHAT??

Regulus *coming inside* : Hey, what's going on?

James: Sirius told Alphard that I smoked pot in Sirius' room in 5th year!

Regulus: What? Were you even there?

Sirius: ...I told him he flew out of the window

James: And why did he believe it?

Sirius: Because I told him what an excellent quidditch player you are :)

James: awwww :) you really-

Regulus: NO. Don't even start. Sirius, James and I are supposed to tell him that we live together TODAY and we can't do that if he hates James!

Sirius: Okay! Okay...I'll tell him.

(1 hour later)

Regulus: So. Did you tell him?

Sirius: Yeah about that. I was thinking of maybe writing him a letter-

Regulus: Okay you know what? You had your chance.

Regulus *goes up to Alphard*: Uncle. James didn't smoke pot in 5th year, Sirius did.

Sirius: YOU ARE SUCH A TATTLETALE!!

Alphard: Is this true Sirius?

Sirius: Yes..

Regulus: And uncle. Sirius was the one who melted your collection.

Sirius:

Sirius: REGULUS' ONLY FRIEND FOR YEARS WAS OUR HOUSE ELF

Regulus: *gasp*

Regulus: SIRIUS AND REMUS BROKE UP, GOT TOGETHER AND BROKE UP. AGAIN!

Sirius: REGULUS BECAME A DEATH EATER THEN WENT ON A SECRET MISSION TO FIND THE HORCRUXES. ON HIS OWN!

Regulus: SIRIUS IS GOING TO ASK REMUS TO MARRY HIM!

Remus: what

Sirius: YOU LITTLE- REGULUS AND JAMES ARE LIVING TOGETHER!!

Alphard: ....That is a lot of information to take in 30 seconds. I will have a word with both of you later. And James.

James:

Alphard: You have been Sirius' best friend for years, stuck by him through his drug problem

Sirius: Oh come on, it's not like he never-

Alphard: And now you've taken on Regulus as well. I don't know what to say. You're a wonderful human being.

James: Thank you, sir

Alphard: Please. Call me uncle.

James: Okay...uncle.

Remus:

Remus:

Remus: Okay so am I supposed to ignore the fact that-

[mxro-x]

Regulus: Guys, I need to tell you something

Regulus: I’m in love with my brothers best friend

Barty: Your own brother? The one that was disowned??

Regulus: Not my brother, his best friend

Dorcas: Remus?

Regulus: That’s my brothers boyfriend. I’m in love with his best friend

Pandora: Lily!?

Regulus: No, that’s Remus’ best friend

Regulus: It’s James, I’m in love with James

Evan: Your brothers best friend!?

Regulus: [heavy sigh]

[doof-bleibt-doof]

Things my friends have said as marauders quotes

Sirius: *sending James random screenshots of his ex gf who is acting all pick me in their dms*

James: Omg no... girl if you gotta be pick me write it down in your little diary but dont torture us with it.

James: And with us, i mean you, but us because... yeah

Sirius: Yes fr, we're a 2 in 1

James: we dont get sold alone, and this girl needs to honestly get a life

[lunariar02]

James: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

Regulus: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

[not-rab]

13-year-old Sirius: You know what, I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first and then you.

12-year-old Regulus: Okay.

[downstairs]

Walburga: What do you want for breakfast?

Sirius: I'll have Cocoa Puffs, bitch.

Walburga: Go to your room!

Walburga, to Regulus: And what do you want?

Regulus: Dunno but it won't be fucking Cocoa Puffs.

[moonytoastx]

James: *leans in to kiss Regulus*

Regulus: *slaps him*

James: "Merlin's beard, Reggie!"

Regulus: "Shit sorry, I forgot we're dating now."

[raphael-angele]

Sirius and Regulus arguing...

Sirius: Oh yeah? I bet you still sleep with that stupid rat stuff toy.

Regulus: Algernon is A MOUSE! And at least I don't use 10 bottles of hairspray every morning!

Sirius: Oh fuck you. At least my hair looks fabulous

Regulus: At least my curls are natural.

Sirius: *gaaasssp*

Everyone: 😶😶😶

James: Oh snap