#as long as it’s not jared padalecki though

[trashbaget]

rewatching spn and gilmore girls at the same time has me coming to the conclusion that jared padalecki is not a great actor because he has exactly one face and it’s dollar store trouty mouth

[lesbiten]

when u watch s6 of spn knowing the plot twist it becomes sooo obvious. like that is not sam at ALL

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Across Every Universe

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.1k

Warnings: fluff

Request by anon: Hey Jordan, can i request something where Dean Winchester always have a crush on the reader but never said something to her until one day Sam and Dean are transported (based on the episode French Mistake) and Dean actor Jensen and is married to the reader of the universe and she pass the whole day giving Dean hug and kisses because for everyone is Jensen. When Dean and Sam came back to their universe him and the reader start dating? Fluff 

Summary: Sam and Dean are taken back to the same place where Dean is known as Jensen Ackles and Sam as Jared Padalecki. This little trip makes Dean realize his feelings for you.

Square Filled: "god, if only you knew what you did to me" (2023) for @spnaubingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

No matter the position you’re in, you’re not comfortable. It doesn’t matter if you lie down on your side, your back, or your stomach. Not to mention the heater isn’t working in the Bunker so it’s very cold. You have three blankets over you while wearing long sleeves and pajama pants. The broken heater doesn’t help your running cold either. You’re not sure where you caught it from but you’ve been trying to stay away from the brothers to not get them sick.

That doesn’t keep Dean away, though.

He’s a complete sweetheart to you since he always brings you soup, makes sure you’re comfortable, and spends time with you even if you tell him not to go near you. You don’t know what you’d do without Dean in your life.

Speaking of, he knocks on your door and enters wearing his usual hunting attire.

“Going on a hunt?” you ask and sit up slightly.

“Yeah. I wish I could stay here and take care of you.”

“Other people need you,” you smile. “I’ll be fine. I’m going to stay in bed, watch movies, and make some soup later. Did you fix the heater, yet?”

“I have someone coming in a few days. He’s also on a hunt.”

“Right, no non-hunters here,” you chuckle.

“I’ll call you later and check up on you, okay?”

“My hero.”

You cuddle with your blankets more and Dean leaves your room with a slight blush on his cheeks. Before he closes the door, he looks back at you in thought. God, if only you knew what you did to me.

He closes your door and meets his brother in the library. As soon as they are packed and ready to go, they start the long drive to the next state over. When Dean gets onto the highway, Sam turns to Dean with a knowing smile.

“So, did you tell her how you feel?”

“Stay out of it, Sammy,” Dean rolls his eyes.

“How long have you had a thing for her? Years? When are you going to tell her how you feel?”

“I mean it, Sam. Stay out of it. I can handle it on my own.”

“Apparently not, or else she’d be yours.”

Dean punches his brother not gently in the arm and Sam laughs. Dean kept the music high so he could avoid talking about his feelings for you. They get to the town that has its residents sacrificing themselves in the name of God. If anything, it warrants some kind of visit from the Winchesters.

The town looks like a normal town with normal people just trying to live their normal lives. They have no suspicions that something is happening but they only just arrived. They get there late at night so they will have to do their work tomorrow morning. Dean takes out his phone when his brother goes into the bathroom to shower and calls you.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m doing alright but not any better.”

“Did you take your medicine?”

“Yes, I did.” He can hear the smile in your voice and that makes him smile. “And I ate my soup and drank water.”

“Don’t forget to tell her goodnight,” Sam says loudly from the bathroom.

Dean grabs a pillow and chucks it at his brother. “Go take a shower. You stink.”

“Goodnight, Dean,” you chuckle, having heard Sam.

“Night sweetheart.” He hangs up and turns to his brother with a scowl. “I hate you.”

Sam and Dean actually get more than four hours of sleep that night but when Dean wakes up, he doesn’t recognize his surroundings. The motel is gone, the shutty beds and blankets are gone, and the peeling wallpaper is gone. What replaces it is a nice trailer, a comfortable bed, a big aquarium, and other nice shit that Dean has never had.

“Sammy?” he calls out. He gets up and leaves the small trailer only to run into Sam. “What the hell is going on? Where are we?”

“I don’t know.” Sam looks around and spots a name on the side of the trailer that’s behind Dean. “Oh, no. Look.”

Dean turns and sees the name ‘Jensen Ackles’ on the side. He turns back around and sees ‘Jared Padalecki’ on the trailer opposite his.

“You’ve got to be kidding me? We’re back in actor land? What happened last time?”

“Gabriel sent us here to avoid Raphael and his minions. I have no idea how we ended up here.”

“I bet it has something to do with the fact that people were sacrificing themselves in the name of God. My guess is that angels are involved.”

“There you two are.” Sam and Dean turn to see Castiel--Misha--walking toward them. “They’re looking for you two.”

“Yeah, we’re coming.”

If Sam and Dean didn’t do a good job trying to act last time, then they certainly aren’t going to do a good job now. It’s funny in hindsight but it makes for a very long day of filming. After the twentieth time messing up, Dean is ready to get the hell out of there to figure out how to get back to his world.

He looks to the right and sees you at the snack bar. He immediately calls for a time-out and leaves the set.

“Time out?” the director frowns and looks at him. “Everyone, take ten!”

“Y/N?”

“Come here, you have to try this. Gen made it,” you grin at Dean. You take a scoopful of food and present it to him. He opens his mouth and accepts the food, pleasantly surprised by the taste. “Oh, you have something on your mouth.” You wipe his bottom lip with your thumb and lick the food off. Dean is so confused about your behavior but doesn’t have time to figure it out. Your phone rings and you check who is messaging you. “I gotta go. Gen is here.”

You lean up and kiss him quickly before walking off. Dean can’t move after that quick kiss. You did it so casually like you’ve done it a thousand times. He is forced to go back to acting but he can’t do a good job because all he’s thinking about is your lips on his.

They aren’t getting enough filming done so the director calls it for the rest of the day. Sam and Dean convene outside to make it look like they’re busy so no one else talks to them.

“She kissed me, dude.”

“What?”

“Y/N or the woman who she’s supposed to be. She kissed me like we’re together or something.”

“Look, I’m glad you’re going through the five stages of teenage excitement but can we focus here? How are we going to get out of here?”

Dean looks around and spots you entering his trailer.

“Eh, you’ll figure it out. I’ll be back.”

Dean leaves to his trailer and Sam rolls his eyes in annoyance.

“Dean!” he hisses but receives no answer.

Dean enters his counterpart’s trailer and sees you where the bed is. You’re grabbing some night clothes out of the drawers since you’re not going to be leaving the trailer for the rest of the night.

“Hey, I talked to Gen about the cabin and she got it all set up for us this weekend. I’m so excited to spend some time away from all this for two days.”

“Are we dating?” The comment makes you laugh. “What?”

“Are you okay?” He looks kind of nervous so you walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck. “I don’t know what’s going on with you but I do know how to make you feel better.”

“How?” he whispers.

You run your hands down his chest and take his hands. You take him to the bed and toss your night clothes onto a nearby chair. You fall onto the bed while pulling him so he lands on top of you but he stops himself with his hands so he doesn’t completely crush you.

You pull him down to kiss you and that’s enough to bring Dean into the delusion that you’re Y/N and you’re his. Your lips are softer than what he thought and your body fits so perfectly against his. He slips his tongue into your mouth to get familiar with you. You tug on his hair to get some traction so he pulls away from your mouth and kisses down your neck.

Your neck has always been a sensitive spot for you and he really knows how to work you up. He licks up and down your neck before latching onto the side of it. You gasp, tilt your head back, and moan something that brings Dean back down to reality.

“Jensen.” You’re not his. You’re not you. You’re Jensen’s. You’re not supposed to be with him. He pulls away and pants above you. “What’s wrong?”

“Can we just lay here instead?”

“Yeah, of course. Let me get changed.”

You slip out from underneath him and grab the pajamas you set aside earlier. You strip down naked and Dean has a hard time not looking at you. He can’t help but think you’re a complete stranger. The pajamas you’re wearing are revealing but he feels better at looking at you with clothes on. You climb into bed with him and cuddle into his side, and he tucks a strand of your hair behind your head.

“How did I get so lucky?”

“I’m the lucky one.”

“Tell me the story of how we met.” You look at him in confusion. “I want to hear it from you.”

“Okay, I got tickets to a red carpet event that my ex-friend invited me to. We were going to see the movie My Bloody Valentine because we thought it was going to be the next big movie. The entire cast was there, including you, meeting fans and taking pictures with them. When we locked eyes, it was like something was pulling you to me.

“You came over to me, complimented me on my dress, signed my poster with your number on it which I still have, and the rest is history. I never got together with you because you were a big celebrity. You were genuine, kind, funny, charming, and very sexy. It was hard not to fall in love with you.”

Dean notices the big ring on your finger and puts the pieces together.

“We’re married?”

“Yes, we are,” you laugh. “Are you okay?”

“I’m just… really happy.”

You lean over and kiss him. The next morning, Dean leaves his trailer before you get up. He doesn’t want to wake you even though he wants to. He finds Sam outside his own trailer with a book in his hands.

“Hey,” Dean sighs.

“I might have found a way out of here, no thanks to you.”

“What if we didn’t leave?”

“Are you kidding me?”

“The love of my life is my wife here.”

“That’s not your wife, Dean. She’s Jensen’s wife. She thinks you’re him. Why would you take that away from him? You have a girl waiting for you at home, a girl with whom you’re too scared to do anything about. Don’t take her away from him because you want what they have.”

Dean knows he’s right. He can’t stay here. He’s using this world as an escape from his own.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Dean sighs. “What do you have?”

“I found this book in the prop section. This might be a TV show but it does have some useful books to make it look real. There’s a ritual we can do.”

And a ritual it is. Once they get the stuff needed and perform it, they are brought back to the town they arrived in a couple of days ago. In order to properly tackle this town, they’re going to need some angelic help. Maybe Castiel can meet them back at the Bunker and figure something out then.

The first thing Dean does when he gets home is go looking for you. You’re still stuck in bed watching your favorite movies on Disney+. You pause your movie when your bedroom door opens.

“Hey, how was the hunt?” Dean doesn’t say anything as he kicks off his shoes. He climbs into bed with you and pulls you close to him. “Dean?”

“I love you,” he blurts. “I should have told you this years ago but I can’t seem to think straight when I’m with you. You make everything better for me, and you’re a better hunter than I ever was. God, I love you so much.”

“I’d kiss you but I don’t want to get you sick,” you smile.

“I don’t care,” he whispers and kisses you.

This is where he belongs. Right next to you.

x

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[lila-lou]

✨His true fate - Part 1/?✨

Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Language, age gap, tough topics

Word Count: 4167

A/N: Alright. I'm only going to write this once. Danneel doesn't come off well in this story. She's pretty much described as the devil himself. She does and says things that are absolutely awful. In this Story she's pretty much the biggest bitch. I don't want to hear any complaints because it's just a story. Fiction. No hate towards anyone. So, that being said, I hope you enjoy reading it.

English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

Jared parked in front of the airport in Austin, his fingers tapping restlessly on the steering wheel. It had been too long since he had seen Jensen outside of the conventions. This visit was different, just for spending time together, no panels, no crowds. As he waited, Jared couldn't help but feel a surge of excitement mixed with a hint of nervousness. It was the first time Jensen was visiting him after he moved away from Austin, a chance for them to catch up without the chaos of their usual meet-ups.

As Jared watched the stream of passengers disembarking from the plane, his mind drifted back to the rocky path that had led them to this moment. Their friendship had weathered its fair share of storms, strained by distance, conflicting schedules, and the pressures of their respective careers. Yet, despite the challenges, they had somehow found their way back to each other. It had taken time, effort, and countless late-night conversations, but slowly, they had begun to rebuild what they had once thought lost.

This weekend, as they celebrated Jared's birthday together, it felt like a new chapter unfolding. Jensen's decision to fly to Austin, despite his busy filming and convention schedule, spoke volumes about the strength of their renewed bond. As Jared caught sight of Jensen emerging from the crowd, a genuine smile spread across his face, washing away any lingering doubts or tensions. This weekend was about reconnecting, about rediscovering the camaraderie that had always defined their relationship.

Jensen opened the trunk and unceremoniously tossed his suitcase inside before collapsing into the passenger seat with a heavy sigh. He ran a hand through his tousled hair, looking every bit as exhausted and worn-out as Jared had feared.

"Wow, someone looks like they've been through the wringer", Jared teased, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips as he started the car.

Jensen shot him a mock glare, his eyes heavy with fatigue. "Thanks, Jared. Always great to get a warm welcome", he quipped, though there was a hint of amusement in his voice despite his worn-out demeanor.

"Just calling it like I see it, man", Jared chuckled, pulling out of the parking spot and heading towards the exit. "But seriously, you look like you could use a week-long vacation on a deserted island".

"Tell me about it", Jensen muttered, sinking back into the seat and closing his eyes for a moment. "Filming has been brutal lately. I swear, I'm starting to feel every single one of my thirty-something years".

Jared couldn't help but chuckle at Jensen's dramatics. "Thirty-something? More like ancient, old man", he teased, earning himself a playful shove from Jensen.

"Hey, watch it, Padalecki. I may be old, but I can still kick your ass", Jensen retorted with a smirk, the weariness momentarily forgotten as the car with little laughter.

As Jared merged onto the highway, the gentle hum of the car filled the silence between them. Glancing over at Jensen, he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that there was more going on beneath the surface.

“So, it’s just the filming that’s got you looking like you’ve aged a decade overnight?”, Jared ventured, keeping his tone light but his concern evident.

Jensen let out a heavy sigh, his gaze fixed on the passing scenery outside the window. “Yeah, filming’s been intense, but that’s not all of it”, he admitted, his voice tinged with resignation.

Jared knew better than to push too hard, but he couldn’t ignore the sense of unease that settled in the pit of his stomach. “Is everything okay at home?”, he asked tentatively, knowing full well the delicate balance Jensen was trying to maintain.

Jensen’s jaw tightened, a flicker of pain crossing his features before he masked it with a forced smile. “Yeah, everything’s fine”, he replied, his tone betraying the lie.

But Jared wasn’t about to let him off that easily. “Come on, man. You don’t have to pretend with me”, he pressed gently, his concern outweighing any discomfort he felt broaching the topic.

Jensen hesitated for a moment before finally speaking, his voice barely above a whisper. “Things… haven’t been great”, he admitted, his gaze fixed on his hands folded in his lap.

Jared could sense Jensen's internal struggle, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Before he could push him further, however, Jensen seemed to retreat, throwing up his defenses like a shield.

"Hey, forget I said anything, okay?", Jensen mumbled, his voice barely audible over the sound of the car's engine. "Let's just focus on having a good time this weekend. I could really use a break… from everything".

Jared nodded, respecting Jensen's boundaries even as his heart ached for his friend's pain. "Yeah, of course", he replied, his tone gentle yet supportive. "We'll make sure this weekend is all about relaxing and having fun. No drama, no stress".

Jensen managed a small, grateful smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Thanks. I appreciate it", he said quietly, a hint of vulnerability slipping through his usual facade of strength.

As they continued down the highway, the weight of their unspoken conversations hung heavy in the air, but for now, they both agreed to set aside their worries.

As the miles flew by, a more simple conversation flowed easily between Jared and Jensen, the tension of their earlier exchange dissipating with each passing moment. It didn't even take 30 minutes until Jared pulled into the familiar driveway of his family home.

"Home sweet home", Jared announced with a grin, turning off the engine and casting a sideways glance at Jensen. "Welcome back to Casa Padalecki".

Jensen chuckled, the weariness in his eyes momentarily replaced by a spark of excitement. "Thanks, man. It's good to be here", he replied, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

As Jared and Jensen climbed the front porch steps, they were met with the eager faces of Tom and Shep peeking out from behind the screen door. The boys' eyes widened in disbelief at the sight of Jensen standing there, and their excitement was palpable.

"Uncle Jensen!", Tom exclaimed, darting forward to wrap his arms around Jensen in a tight hug, his enthusiasm bubbling over.

Shep followed suit, his smaller frame joining in the embrace as he grinned up at Jensen. "We didn't think you were really coming!", he said, his voice filled with a mix of surprise and joy.

Jensen chuckled warmly, returning their hugs with equal affection. "Well, here I am", he replied, tousling their hair playfully. "I couldn't miss the chance to hang out with you two".

As they stepped inside the house, laughter and chatter filled the air, the boys buzzing with excitement at the prospect of spending time with their favorite ´uncle´. Jared couldn't help but smile at the sight, grateful for the bond that had formed between Jensen and his sons over the years. With Jensen back in their lives, even just for the weekend, he knew that memories would be made and cherished for years to come.

As Tom and Shep dashed off to explore the backyard, their laughter echoing through the house, Jensen turned to Jared with a curious expression.

"So, where's Gen and mini Gen?", Jensen asked, a playful twinkle in his eye as he referred to Jared's wife and daughter.

Jared glanced at the clock on the wall, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "They're out shopping", he replied, his voice tinged with amusement. "Looks like it's just us guys for now".

Jensen chuckled, nodding in understanding. "Ah, a little father-son bonding time, huh?", he remarked.

"Yeah, something like that", Jared replied, his gaze drifting toward the backyard where the sounds of his sons' laughter drifted in through the open door.

As the evening sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm glow over the backyard, Jared and Jensen found themselves sitting side by side, beers in hand, watching as Tom and Shep played with the chickens.

Jared took a sip of his beer, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them. "So, how are the kids?", he asked, his tone casual but genuine.

Jensen's smile faltered slightly at the mention of his own children, a flicker of sadness crossing his features before he quickly masked it with a forced grin. "They're good", he replied, his voice tinged with a hint of uncertainty. "Busy with school and all that".

Jared nodded, though he could sense there was more to the story than Jensen was letting on. He had seen firsthand how Jensen had thrown himself into his work, often using it as a means of escape from the troubles at home.

"Must be tough juggling all that work and family", Jared remarked sympathetically, knowing all too well the pressures of balancing a career with family responsibilities.

"Yeah, it's… still challenging", Jensen admitted, his gaze drifting off into the distance. "But hey, enough about me. How's Gen and the kids? They keeping you on your toes?".

Jared chuckled, grateful for the diversion. "Always", he replied with a fond smile. "But wouldn't have it any other way".

As they sat together in the fading light, the sound of laughter and chatter filling the air, Jared couldn't shake the feeling that there was still so much left unsaid between them.

As the evening wore on and the sky darkened, Gen and Odette returned home, their arrival greeted with hugs and laughter from Jensen. They exchanged pleasantries and caught up on each other's lives, the warmth of their conversation filling the air.

However, as the hour grew late and the kids were ushered off to bed by Gen, a sense of tranquility settled over the house. Now alone in the quiet of the evening, Jared and Jensen found themselves relaxing on the porch once more, the glow of their beers casting long shadows in the dim light.

But their peace was short-lived as Jensen's phone rang, breaking the serene atmosphere with its shrill tone. With a frustrated groan, Jensen glanced at the caller ID, his annoyance evident.

"Danneel?", Jared asked quietly, his brow furrowing with concern as he watched Jensen quickly silence the call.

Jensen nodded, his jaw clenched in frustration. "Yeah", he muttered, his voice heavy with irritation. "Probably just checking in to make sure I'm not having too much fun".

Jared could sense the tension radiating from his friend, the weight of Jensen's strained marriage casting a shadow over their evening.

Jared let out a heavy sigh, the weight of unspoken words pressing heavily on his chest. Finally, unable to contain his thoughts any longer, he spoke up, his voice tinged with a mixture of frustration and concern.

"Jensen, can I ask you something?", Jared began, his gaze fixed on his friend. "Why won't you just finally leave her?".

The question hung in the air, laden with the weight of years of silence and suppressed emotions. Jared knew it was a delicate subject, one that had been tiptoed around for far too long, but he couldn't stand by any longer and watch his friend suffer in silence.

Jensen's expression hardened, a flicker of defiance crossing his features before he quickly masked it with a forced smile. "It's complicated. You know that", he replied evasively, his voice betraying the turmoil raging beneath the surface.

"But is it really?", Jared pressed, his tone gentle yet insistent. "I mean, I get that there are always reasons, but at what point do you say enough is enough?".

Jensen's jaw tightened, his gaze drifting off into the distance as he wrestled with his inner demons. "I wish it were that simple", he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "But you have no idea what she's capable of".

Jared's heart ached at the pain etched into Jensen's features, the deep-rooted fear and resignation that seemed to consume him. But he refused to back down, knowing that sometimes, the hardest conversations were the ones that needed to be had the most.

"I know it's fucking scary", Jared admitted softly, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on Jensen's shoulder. "But you don't have to face it alone, you know. We're here for you, no matter what".

Jensen's grip tightened around his beer bottle, frustration simmering beneath the surface. "You don't get it, Jared", he muttered, his voice tinged with bitterness. "If I try to leave, she'll make sure I never see my kids again. She'll ruin me. In every fucking way possible".

Jared's eyes narrowed, his patience wearing thin. "And what do you think she's doing right now? Keeping you trapped, suffocating you with her control", he retorted, his voice tinged with anger. "She's already ruining you, Jensen. Can't you see that?".

Jensen's jaw clenched, his fists balling at his sides as he struggled to find the words to express the turmoil raging within him. "I can't risk losing my kids, my image, my career", he finally admitted, his voice choked with emotion. "I can't".

Jared's heart ached for his friend, the pain etched into every line of his face. But he refused to let Jensen succumb to the fear and manipulation any longer.

"You're stronger than that, Jensen", Jared said firmly, his voice filled with conviction.

Jared's frustration softened into determination. "Listen to me, Jensen. You need to stop letting her control you", he said firmly, his voice unwavering. "You just need to get yourself a damn good lawyer".

Jensen's gaze flickered with uncertainty, the weight of Jared's words sinking in. "But what if it's not enough?", he whispered, his voice filled with doubt.

"It's a start", Jared replied, his tone resolute. "And you're not alone in this. We'll find you the best lawyer, one who'll fight tooth and nail to make sure she won´t ruin your life more than she already did".

As they sat in the quiet of the backyard, the weight of their conversation hanging heavy in the air, Jensen felt a glimmer of hope stir within him. Maybe, just maybe, there was a way out of the darkness that had consumed him for so long.

But then, with a heavy sigh, Jensen's resolve wavered as he confessed, "I can't take it anymore, Jared. Every time I'm home, I feel like I'm suffocating. I drown myself in conventions just to get away from her. And when I am home, I'm mostly drunk just to be able to deal with her".

Jared's heart sank at the raw honesty in Jensen's words, the pain and despair evident in every syllable. But he refused to let his friend continue down this destructive path.

"We'll figure it out, Jensen," Jared said firmly, his voice filled with conviction.

Jared knew how bad Jensen really was. For years he could do nothing but watch as Danneel destroyed his best friend. Publicly humiliated him, manipulated him and mentally abused him. She gradually destroyed his self-confidence, his friendships and caused him to isolate himself from everyone. Jared wanted nothing more than to finally see his best friend happy again. Truly happy. But with Danneel and her toxic personality by his side, that wouldn't happen. So he hoped to use the time they had together well enough to somehow get through to Jensen.

As Jensen made his way to the guestroom an hour later, the weight of the evening's conversation hung heavy on his shoulders, his mind consumed by a whirlwind of emotions and stress. Each step felt like a burden, the familiar sense of suffocation creeping in as he retreated from the warmth of Jared's home to the solitude of his temporary sanctuary.

Slipping into the guestroom, Jensen closed the door behind him with a heavy sigh, the darkness of the room enveloping him like a shroud. He sank onto the edge of the bed, his head in his hands as he tried to quiet the storm raging within him.

But despite his best efforts, the memories and fears clawed their way to the surface, threatening to overwhelm him with their intensity.

And as he lay there in the silence of the night, the weight of his burdens pressing down upon him, Jensen couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be a way out of the darkness that had consumed him for so long. But for now, all he could do was try to find solace in the quiet of the night, hoping that somehow, someway, he would find the strength to face another day.

The next morning, Jared and Gen bustled around the kitchen, the savory aroma of breakfast filling the air as they worked together with Odette by their side. The sound of laughter and chatter filled the room, a stark contrast to the heaviness that had hung over the house the night before.

As they set the table with plates of pancakes and fresh fruit, Jared glanced at Gen with a playful smirk. "Think Jensen will be able to handle waking up to the smell of your cooking?", he teased, earning a chuckle from his wife.

Gen rolled her eyes, though there was a hint of amusement in her expression. "He better be ready for the Padalecki family breakfast experience", she replied with a grin, her culinary skills on full display.

Just then, Tom bounded into the kitchen, his energy infectious as he eagerly awaited his next task. "Can I go wake up Uncle Jensen now, Dad?", he asked, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

Jared nodded with a smile, ruffling Tom's hair affectionately. "Go for it, buddy. Just try not to scare him too much", he replied, unable to contain his own amusement at the thought of Jensen's reaction to being roused from his slumber.

With a mischievous grin, Tom dashed off to carry out his mission, leaving Jared and Gen to share a knowing look.

As Tom made his way towards the guestroom, his excitement bubbling over, he couldn't help but feel a mischievous urge creeping in. Quietly, he slipped inside, tiptoeing towards Jensen's bed with a grin plastered on his face.

With a sly glance towards Jensen, still lost in slumber, Tom couldn't resist the temptation. He settled himself down beside Jensen, his heart racing with anticipation. And then, with a mischievous gleam in his eye, he let out a loud fart, breaking the silence of the room with a resounding blast.

Jensen jolted awake with a start, his eyes wide with shock as he stared at Tom in disbelief. "What the…", he sputtered, his voice trailing off as he tried to process what had just happened.

Tom couldn't contain his laughter, doubling over with mirth as he reveled in the chaos he had created. "Gotcha, Uncle Jensen!", he exclaimed between giggles, unable to contain his excitement at the successful prank.

Jensen instantly grimaced, his hand flying to cover his nose as the pungent odor assaulted his senses. "Oh, man, Tom! What did you eat?", he exclaimed, his voice muffled by his hand as he tried to escape the noxious fumes.

Tom doubled over with laughter, barely able to catch his breath between fits of giggles. "Sorry, Uncle Jensen!", he managed to squeak out between laughs.

Jensen waved his hand in front of his face, desperately trying to dispel the stench that hung in the air. "You're absolutely your dad's kid", he grumbled, his tone laced with both amusement and exasperation. "Damn, that fucking stinks!".

Again Jensen waved his hand in front of his face, still trying to rid the room of the lingering smell. "Alright, alright, Tom", he said with a chuckle, trying to mask his amusement. "Why don't you go air out that stinking butt of yours while I get dressed?".

Tom grinned mischievously, his laughter echoing through the room as he bounded out of the guestroom, leaving Jensen to shake his head in amusement.

Dressed and somehow awake, Jensen made his way towards the kitchen, the promise of breakfast and laughter drawing him forward.

Jensen took a seat at the table, a grin playing at the corners of his lips as he recounted Tom's prank to Jared. "You won't believe what your son just did", he chuckled, shaking his head in amusement.

Jared raised an eyebrow, his curiosity piqued. "Oh? What did he do this time?", he asked with a smirk, already bracing himself for another one of Tom's antics.

"He let out the loudest fart I've ever heard right next to my face", Jensen replied, his laughter infectious as he recounted the incident. "I swear, that kid is just like his old man".

Jared couldn't help but laugh at the image of his son terrorizing Jensen with his infamous flatulence. "Well, I guess he takes after me in more ways than one", he quipped, a proud smile spreading across his face.

Shep and Odette's laughter filled the room, their amusement at Tom's antics contagious as they teased their brother relentlessly. Gen couldn't help but shake her head affectionately at their sibling banter.

Turning to Jared, Gen's smile widened as she made a suggestion. "Hey, do you think you and Jensen could handle getting the drinks for tonight's party?", she asked, her tone hopeful as she looked between her husband and his friend.

Jared grinned at the idea, nodding eagerly. "Of course", he replied, excitement lighting up his eyes. "Consider it our mission. We'll make sure we have plenty of drinks to keep the party going all night long".

Jensen nodded in agreement. "You can count on us", he chimed in.

As they made plans for the evening's festivities, the anticipation of the birthday party ahead filled the room with a sense of excitement.

Two hours later, Jensen found himself sitting in the passenger seat of Jared's car, the hum of the engine and the rhythm of the road soothing his frayed nerves. They were on their way to the next liquor store, their mission to stock up for Jared's birthday party well underway.

Jared glanced over at Jensen with a grin, the excitement of the evening ahead evident in his eyes. "Ready to make a dent in the liquor aisle?", he joked, his tone light as he navigated through the traffic.

Jensen chuckled, a sense of camaraderie washing over him as he settled back into his seat. "You bet", he replied. "Just promise me we won't end up with more beer than we can carry".

Jared laughed, shaking his head at his friend's jest. "No promises", he teased, though there was a hint of mischief in his tone.

As Jared disappeared in search of the restroom, Jensen remained leaning against the overflowing shopping cart, his expression a mix of boredom and introspection. With each passing moment, he found himself sinking deeper into his own thoughts. Again the weight of his troubles pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket.

He couldn't shake the feeling of unease that gnawed at him from within, the nagging sense that he was trapped in a life that no longer brought him joy. Despite the excitement of Jared's birthday party looming on the horizon, Jensen couldn't escape the shadows of his own turmoil that threatened to engulf him at every turn.

Lost in his thoughts, Jensen barely noticed the bustle of shoppers around him as they navigated the crowded aisles of the liquor store. His mind was a whirlwind of memories and regrets, a tangled web of emotions that left him feeling adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Lost in his thoughts, Jensen barely registered the collision until he felt the impact against his back. Startled, he stumbled forward, nearly losing his balance as he turned to see what had caused the disturbance.

"Hey, fucking watch where you're going!", he grumbled irritably, his frustration evident in his tone as he glanced over his shoulder.

But as he turned around, ready to unleash a torrent of curses, Jensen's words died on his lips as he met your gaze.

"Sorry", you apologized quickly, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment as you struggled to regain your composure and the bottles of whiskey in your arms. "I didn't see you there".

Jensen's irritation faded, his annoyance evaporating as he took in your apologetic expression. "It's okay", he replied more softly. "No harm done".

———————————

A/N: I wanted to give you a little preview. I don't know exactly when it will continue. If you want to be tagged, please let me know <3 It's going to be a damn long story, that's for sure, lol.

Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

Part 2

[pagannatural]

1.06 Skin

-Dean tries to say no to Sam about going to California but it’s a losing battle because Sam has the puppydog eyes which are lethal.

-Jared Padalecki is very good at platonic chemistry. He had zero sexual tension with the mom from Dead in the Water, for example, even when he pulled her out of her bathtub and she was lying on top of him naked and panting. It wasn’t a romantic moment. Likewise here he hugs his friend Becky and is obviously happy to see her, but they have zero sexual chemistry. It makes the sexual tension between Sam and Dean stand out and feel significant.

I also love how unhappy Dean looks seeing Sam’s friend from his time at Stanford.

-Sam’s “you’re not my brother” when he catches the shapeshifter kills me.

-“He’s sure got issues with you” SAY MORE. It seems like Dean’s memories or whatever it is are being melded with the shapeshifter’s, because he only talks about things that he can easily relate to. I bet there’s a ton more Dean stuff that the shapeshifter just doesn’t assimilate.

-“Dean stay out of the sewers alone I mean it!” “Sorry Sam, you know me, I just can’t wait.” Sam does worry about Dean. And Dean is kind of a reckless act-first think-later type and I bet that drove little Sam crazy. Did younger Dean kind of enjoy Sam’s concern? I bet he secretly relished it.

-during their fistfight Shapeshifter Dean says “not bad little brother” and Sam says “you’re not him” with such fire. It feels possessive.

-It recalls their first scene together when Dean breaks in and Sam says “Dean?” with such eager disbelief- like, Is it really you? It makes me wonder if Sam kept hoping to see Dean while he was at Stanford, if he kept hoping he’d visit or call, or if he did a double take every time he saw a broad-shouldered guy in a leather jacket.

-“even when we were kids I always kicked your ass” between fighting and cuddling and moving so much they must have had more physical contact with each other than anyone else in their lives.

-Dean walks in to find his own likeness on top of Sam, strangling him. I can’t remember him ever looking as murderous again as he looks here

He shoots the shapeshifter and goes to the body. This is how the brothers look at each other before Dean rips the amulet Sam gave him off of the shapeshifter and puts it back on.

What even IS this? What is this moment between them?

The episode explored the isolation and intensity of the brothers’ relationship. Their desires for lives of their own exist in opposition to their lives together.

But for Dean the main issue is not his desire for a separate life, it’s the desire for Sam to be his even though Sam left him. They both fight their gravitation pull toward each other for different reasons. The shapeshifter fed Dean’s abandonment fears by taking everything that Dean loves- his appearance, his car, his amulet, his brother. His self loathing comes from his belief that everyone will leave him, that he’ll never be enough to make them stay. Sam still has a foot out the door, in the lives of his Stanford friends.

This specific moment though. When Dean kills his double, saves Sam, and takes back the amulet, it feels like he’s reclaiming Sam. Early in the episode Dean told Sam that hunters can’t really have friends. He’s saying You’re mine and you can really only either be mine or be anything else. For Sam, the world is divided between My Brother and Not My Brother. Dean has just killed the thing which is Not His Brother.

And Sam ACCEPTS. He chooses his brother. Becky tells him it must be lonely hunting monsters and he smiles and says not really, looking over at Dean. He says what can I do, it’s family. He lies, but he’s not going to stay in touch with her. He’s in for however long this takes with Dean.

At the end of the episode Dean tells Sam that he’s sorry he can’t have the college life he wanted. Sam tells Dean it’s okay, he never really fit in at college. They always come back to each other. They only really fit in with each other.

[positivexcellence]

Jared Padalecki Says Goodbye to ‘Walker’ and Blasts the CW’s ‘Cheap Content’ Strategy After Show’s Cancellation: ‘F— It. They Can’t Fire Me Again’

The writers first introduced this Jackal storyline at the end of the third season as a way to excavate more demons from Cordell and Captain James’ (Coby Bell) shared past. What did this storyline help you unlock in terms of your understanding of Cordell? What were you most interested in exploring from a character perspective?

I’ve been fortunate enough for many years, many decades, to play characters that are in situations where the story is not about the situation necessarily: It’s about what’s going on with the character. On “Supernatural,” we fought God, we fought Lucifer, I was Lucifer at one point, we fought demons — but it was really about the brothers. It was about a bond; it was about the tropes of sacrifice, loyalty, determination, discipline and so many more things.

So when the Jackal storyline first occurred to the gang, [a serial killer storyline] was something that we hadn’t approached yet on “Walker.” And it’s something that the real Texas Rangers actually get involved with: They do hunt down and investigate serial killer allegations. So it was a fun template with which to play out past traumas, [as well as this idea of] trusting those close to you and them trusting you back and getting out of your head.

I don’t want to say I suffer [from this], but I’m in my head a lot. Partially that’s my nature, just the way I was born; and partially that’s my nurture, being an actor. You have your script, you read it, and you’re like, “OK, now what can I add? What does this mean?” So I just spend a lot of time in my head, and oftentimes it takes somebody beloved that’s part of my circle to go, “Hey, you all right?” And I’ll be like, “Oh shit. Yeah, sorry, I’ve been kind of elsewhere.” So [I enjoyed] playing that role this season, and understanding how the rabbit hole of emotions in your mind can sometimes affect more than just you.

This iteration of “Walker” has always been about Cordell’s neverending internal struggle to find the right work-life balance. For me, he seems to finally recognize that he’s done plenty of great work as a Ranger, but he has yet to really fulfill his duties as a father, even though he is about to become an empty nester. What is your take on where we leave him in the finale?

Yeah, it’s exactly that — and kudos to Anna and the rest of the writing gang. It was a lot of what I was going through [in real life]. It’s a lot of what I’m going through now, having worked since I was 17 years old when I started “Gilmore Girls.” There are a lot of things that you miss when you’re acting — a lot of graduations, camp drop-offs, kids’ games, whatever. It’s a wonderful job, and I’m so grateful to have been able to do it for so long, but there’s a lot that you give up.

So I think where we find Cordell in the finale is exactly in that spot where he’s no longer anxiety- or panic-driven about having to do the next job, having to get up and find somebody to arrest or find something to fix or investigate. He has realized — much to the credit of Jeff Pierre’s Trey, Ashley Reyes’ Cassie, and obviously Coby Bell’s Larry James — that, “Hey, the world goes on without you.” I think Cordell was in his own head for a lot of the episodes, and afraid that if he wasn’t around, things would fall apart. I think he found a place where he is like, “The world was here before me. The world will be here after me. And what I need to do for those around me is spend time with them.” So he’s come to a realization that there’s more than just the next job.

I think it took him — I don’t want to call it rock bottom, but getting out of control with his obsession with the Jackal to realize, “Oh, wait, maybe I need to step away from this for a little bit, and when I come back, I’ll come back stronger and more clear headed.” There will always be another job, but the family is growing up. August is graduating, Stella is in college, and he and Geri are working through some stuff. So I think he realized that, “Hey, I need to put my energies elsewhere.” It’s told in TV form, but it’s a really universal lesson. Sometimes, just doing something different, just changing your routine, can open your eyes to not only the positives of the routine — but also the drawbacks.

The writers have put Cordell through the wringer over the years, but this is the closest that he came to dying. The idea of mortality becomes even more intense when you become a parent — and, in Cordell’s case, a widowed single parent — because you have to think about what you’re leaving behind for your children.

Great point. [My wife] Genevieve [who played Cordell’s late wife, Emily] and I talk about that all the time, as parents. I think this is one of the lessons that both Gen and I hope to give to our kids, and for them to grasp as well. As kids grow up — and even adults — they will often deal with and question: “Is what I’m doing right? Should I be doing something else? If I’m not important here, then am I important at all?” I think part of the reason Cordell makes the decision that he does at the end of the finale is to show his kids: “Hey, I know I’ve been doing this, and it is very important. But so are you. It’s not a ‘no, but.’ It’s a ‘yes, and.’” It takes courage to leave routine, to leave habits, and I think he wants his kids to know, “Hey, it’s OK if y’all have to pivot, if y’all have to change. Do what you know is right, not what you think other people think is right.”

Unlike some other shows on the bubble, you and the writers elected not to shoot an alternate ending. That means you’ve left the audience with a couple big cliffhangers: In addition to taking a leave of absence, Cordell is also planning to propose to Geri; and James Van Der Beek was going to play the Walkers’ new (and potentially nefarious) neighbor. Did you and Anna discuss what next season would have looked like?

Yeah, there was so much to deal with, now that Violet and Kale are both young adults. They’re not children like they were four years ago, both literally and metaphorically. So there was a lot that we were going to explore with them — like, how much the sins of the father can carry down to the progeny, and how much Stella and/or August had, unfortunately, [inherited] their father’s bad qualities as well, which we dealt with this year with Stella. She’s very much like her father in the good ways and in the bad ways.

But we were very excited to have James on the show. He’s a personal friend, and he lives here in Austin. It wasn’t going to be like the Walker-Davidson feud necessarily [from Season 2], and the fifth season was certainly not written by any means, but I think there was going to be a very interesting dynamic that Cordell was maybe not anticipating, because he was taking a backseat on his law enforcement duties. We thought that James and his crew were going to be maybe up to no good, and Walker was just blinded to it.

Walker was a “Hell yes” or “hell no” kind of guy; he was either all-in on something, or he was kind of oblivious to it. And that was good when he was all-in on a job or all-in on trying to work with his family. But it was bad when he was oblivious: “Oh, no, the kids are fine. I’m fine. They’re nice. Don’t be suspicious of this person, or that person.” And he kind of got stuck in his own head, as we all often do at times. So we were going to explore that.

Is there something that you would have personally loved to have explored further with Cordell, if you had been given more time?

Oh my God. How long do you have? I really would’ve done the show forever. I just loved my character. I loved that I got to be in Austin with my family. I loved my cast and loved our crew. Maybe this is what ultimately was our downfall, but we weren’t ever seeking like, “Oh, here’s the explosion. Oh, here’s the wild cliffhanger where the aliens come down. Oh, here’s the next hot reality star that comes in and takes their clothes off.” It was never about sensationalism. It was more about life. When Anna and I first talked about the show many years ago, one of the reasons [this reboot] was called “Walker,” not “Walker, Texas Ranger,” was because he’s a widow and a father who happens to be in law enforcement. It was an exploration of everything that life could have to offer — heartbreak, disappointment, shame, love, becoming an empty nester — and I’m worse than heartbroken that we are not going to get to explore all those storylines. 

You’ve developed a tradition, on both “Supernatural” and “Walker,” of being the one to deliver the news of a renewal or a cancellation to your cast and crew. How did that happen this time around?

Yes. I talked to David Stapf at CBS and Brad Schwartz at CW before the announcement was made. And when Brad and I were talking, he was wildly flattering of “Walker” and what we had done, and he has his directives as well. He asked me, “Hey, how would you feel if we release the news or if you release the news? Do you have a preference? You’re CW royalty. You’ve been here since Day 1. How do you want to do this?” I thought about it, and I was like, “You know what, man? I think it might be best if I go ahead and make the announcement.” He was like, “Cool. Just go ahead.” And I asked him, “Do you want me to send what I’m going to post to you first, or do you want me to just go and post it?” And he goes, “We know you. We love you. We trust you. You don’t need to double check it with me. Just go ahead and send it when you’re ready.”

It was not easy to see the keyboard on my phone through the tears in my eyes, but I was grateful that I was allowed to [do that]. So often, when these big announcements are made, it’s like, “OK, here’s what’s going to happen. Don’t say anything until 1 p.m. in three days because we haven’t called all the outlets yet.” It felt like a very human send-off to go, “OK, do what you need to say, and we will reiterate it.” It felt like a great part of the closure that I’m still seeking. 

Did The CW ever give you a reason for the cancellation? Did it come down to budgetary reasons? Do you know any of the particulars?

Yeah. I talked with the head of CBS and the head of Nexstar/CW, I talked with the other [executive producers] on “Walker,” and I think it was a multivariate kind of issue. My understanding is — and again, this is just what I’m told — that Nexstar is going in a different direction with The CW. I mean, they have an hour of “Trivial Pursuit” and an hour of “Scrabble” coming up. I don’t know why you wouldn’t just download the app or grab a board game and play with your friends, but they’re clearly just — what’s that great quote? It’s like, “If somebody tells you who they are, ask questions. If somebody shows you who they are, believe them.”

I feel like The CW that I was a part of last year is not The CW that I was a part of under [former chairman and CEO] Mark Pedowitz for that entire, almost 20-year stretch. They’re just changing the network around, where it’s not really going to be a TV network as much as it’s going to be, “Here’s something fun for an hour that you’ll never watch again, but hopefully you watch it. And it’s cheap!” And I hate to say that, but I’m just being honest. I mean, fuck it. They can’t fire me again. I’m just being brutally honest. I think it felt to me like they were looking for really easy, cheap content that they could fill up time with.

You’ve only had a few weeks to process the cancellation, but have you given any thought to what you will do next?

I left two days [after the cancellation was announced] to go to Europe for work and then for play. My wife and kids met me out there, and we took a little vacation that was already planned. It was strange, and it was both horrible and wonderful. It was horrible because I really wanted to grieve. I really wanted to sit there and grieve, and call my cast. But here I was, eight or 10 hours ahead of their time zone, and I couldn’t make a phone call to everybody I wanted to make. The texts would come in when I woke up in the morning, and I just wanted or needed a personal connection with everybody who I had worked with for so long. But it was great, because I had a lot of distractions.

But I haven’t taken a whole lot of time just yet to think about what’s next. I kind of said this at the end of “Supernatural”: I wasn’t interested in acting [again], per se. I do love producing. I love the production aspect, and I love the problem-solving that comes with it. So there are a few things that my wife and I are in the process of developing that I would love to produce and act in. But beyond that, I still feel like I haven’t grieved the loss of “Walker,” so I don’t know yet if I trust my feelings. That sounds like a cop-out. I’m so sorry.

No, that’s a totally valid answer, considering that you openly spoke about how you hoped “Walker” would last just as long as, if not longer than, “Supernatural.” It’s natural that you wouldn’t necessarily know where to go from here.

Yeah, I don’t want to disappear into the bushes by any means, but I kind of want to disappear into the bushes. But hopefully, at this point in my life, and much like Cordell realized at the end of Season 4, I need to take a good, long, hard look at my personal life and the time I spend with my family and my friends, and I need to stop being so aggressive and obsessed with work. I still want to work, but for now, you’ll find me in and out of the bushes, hanging out with family and seeing friends. If a project comes up and I don’t care about it, then money doesn’t matter. But if a project comes up and I love the story or there’s somebody I really want to work with, then all right, [I’ll do it].

One of the people that you presumably want to work with again is Eric Kripke, who already recruited your former “Supernatural” costar Jensen Ackles to star in his current show, “The Boys.” Now that your schedule has opened up, are you officially joining the final season of “The Boys”?

Well, I’ll say this: Kripke and I texted today. It’s not been written yet, but I think he was saying [the final season] doesn’t even film until 2025. So yeah, I’m going to go play in Kripke’s newest playground. I had a great time the first time around, so I’m sure I’ll have a great time here again. I love the show. I think it’s hilarious and exciting. But you were asking what my plans for the future were — and I love Jensen and Eric Kripke. Obviously, I’ll be indebted to [Kripke] and entangled with him forever. I met my wife because of him. I was Sam Winchester because of him. “Supernatural” happened because of him. So working with him on a show that I enjoy, I’m like, “Yeah, when do I fly out?” But I don’t think we would film until at least January. 

Your body of work has spanned so many genres, but is there a specific genre that you are looking to explore next?

I thought “Walker” was kind of a mixture of “Gilmore Girls” and “Supernatural.” It was a family show with excitement and stunts, and macro storylines married with the micro. You know what? There’s a script that I love, and if we can get it turned into something, then I’d love to be a part of it. It’s actually a sitcom, but not a slapstick or knee-slapping sitcom. It’s kind of like a family-esque sitcom. It could actually be an hourlong show that you’d kind of define as a sitcom.

One of the things I really enjoyed about “Walker” was the humor that I was able to try and bring to screen, because my characters on “Gilmore Girls” and “Supernatural” were more stoic and serious, and I am by nature a much goofier person than the characters I’d played for 20 years. It terrifies me, because I think I’m funny among friends, but I don’t think I’m a funny person. I just think I’m goofy.

I’d like to explore that. It’s scary. It’s something I haven’t done, and I think I’d be very intrigued. 

It seems very difficult for dramatic actors to make that transition to comedy.

It’s so difficult!

You’ve now starred in over 450 episodes of primetime network TV, which is no small feat. What is your biggest takeaway from the time you’ve spent on The WB and The CW? When you think back to your biggest aspirations when you began on “Gilmore Girls,” how did your dreams ultimately compare to your reality?

Yeah, it’s been a long time. I think there’s some form of the saying, “If I only knew then what I know now…” Oftentimes, [this is] such a cutthroat industry. I think I spent so long in my adult life trying to get to a point where I could live my life, where I felt comfortable, where I felt safe and secure. I love storytelling. I love storytellers. I love raconteurs. I love that friend we all have that can just talk for an hour, and you’re laughing, you’re crying, you’re interested, and you’re learning. I love being able to pretend to be one of those characters on screen.

But I think along the way, it feels like I really learned, “Hey, don’t work to earn. Work to learn.” And at some point in time, you’ve got to look in the mirror and go, “Hey, you’re working towards some ever-moving goalpost. Why don’t you try and enjoy it now?” I think that’s kind of where I sit now. We’re just about a month [removed] from the announcement that we weren’t picked up again, so it’s kind of funny how life imitates art, or art imitates life. What Cordell went through in the finale and what I’m going through now are mirrors. I’ll be 42 next month. Am I waiting until I’m 60 and I have 800 episodes of television or something? I have to live my life now. I’ve got a 12-year-old, a 10-year-old, and a 7-year-old. 

I think, ironically, in trying to tell somebody else’s story for so long, I’ve realized that my story has value too.

Variety

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

My Commentary on Rob and Rich Reviewing (4x14) Sex and Violence

I was listening to the latest Supernatural Then and Now Podcast (The Siren Episode) and I had to stop it after the Rob and Rich review to write down my thoughts because it annoyed me so much.

The guys both thought the episode was okay, but a bunch of things “bumped” for them. This is fine, and everyone is entitled to their own opinion about an episode, but some of the things that “bumped” for them “bump” for me.

My thoughts under the cut …

Bump # 1 - The Siren turning out to be a man

So, both Rs had an issue with the siren being a man since the lore showed them as women, and I think, because in real mythology they are women. Though they conceded that the a male siren could be a thing too, it seemed to really bother them that the siren ended up not being about a sexual connection with the brothers (though Rich saw the flask sharing scene as flirtatious … because no guys have ever shared a flask, including, Dean and Bobby).

I’m sorry, but the siren targeting the brothers, and using a version of an ideal brother to get to Dean isn’t a plot hole or a “stretch” or something, it’s an interesting choice and it’s exactly the point of the episode. While many men are vulnerable to a pretty woman who is into them, Dean just wants Sam. He wants his relationship with Sam to be better. In particular, he’s so worried about Sam and insecure in their bond that he wants a Sam who likes what he likes but, more importantly, one who listens to him and doesn’t hide things from him. And I know I’ve written about this before on a previous post, but Dean doesn’t NEED the siren to be a hot girl; he can find one of those easily. He needs a Sam he can trust. That’s the whole point. The show is drawing the comparison between sexual intimacy/romantic companionship (usually one of the most desired things in literature/media) to the brothers relationship to show how much brotherhood matters to Dean in particular (in this case).

The way the male siren actor portrays its interest in the brothers, to me, is very much like it’s intrigued and excited that it found a high even better than the sexual desire that it usually feeds off of. When the siren feels how desperate Dean is for the bond with Sam to be fixed, it finds him more interesting than it’s usual target. Dean’s longing for Sam (not sexual) is even stronger than the sexual desire or romantic companionship that the siren usually feeds off of, so much so that the siren changes its entire MO to go after the brothers.

Bump # 2 - The Doctor sleeping with Sam (when she isn’t the siren) is weird

So, the Rs disagreed on the “bumpiness” of this one. Rob thought it was weird that the doctor would just decide to sleep with Sam (at work), while it didn’t bother Rich because … Jared Padalecki. Sound argument (in this case), Rich.

Still, the doctor is a little unusual, and her behaviour is clearly intended to be a misdirect, but the show does a good enough job of suggesting she had a bad breakup (or worse) and is now just sort of living in the moment, so her behaviour doesn’t bother me. Also, Sam is hot.

What is stranger than the doctor’s behaviour, for the audience who knows him, is Sam having sex with her I that moment. Not only that, but Sam is very chill when she’s hitting on him, where in the past, Sam has often been a little shy or awkward with women that he’s been attracted to or interested in. So no, this is not Sam’s usual MO to sleep with the doctor, especially when we know he and Ruby are or were also sleeping together. Sam is not acting entirely like his usual self. And he hasn’t been acting entirely like himself for a while now.

Bump # 3 - The Siren telling the boys to fight each other and saying the winner can “be with” him

I don’t know why they had an issue with this. The siren literally explains that it loves the rush of having people willing to do anything for it, even kill people they love. What the siren tells the brothers doesn’t matter because it’s not like it’s really planning to have a relationship with the brother who wins the fight. And the boys are already infected at this point, so it’s just giving them incentive to fight. It’s not sticky about the sexual-ness of people’s need for the siren, it’s about the desperation they have to be with it (in whatever way).

Bump #4 - Sam dismissing the Doctor after sleeping with her.

The guys were both bothered by Sam not bothering to say goodbye to the doctor, and they mentioned that it seemed sort of old-school (womanizing?). Rob said that Sam dismissing her was more like something Dean would do than Sam. I know that I already said this, but this is the whole point. Sam hasn’t been acting like his old self. This isn’t an accidental writing mistake, where the writer accidentally wrote Sam more like Dean. Sam is different now.

It also isn’t like Sam to call Dean weak, or ridicule him for being messed up from his experience in hell. Season 2 Sam would never, and Season 3 Sam wouldn’t either. Season 4 Sam has changed from the trauma of losing Dean, drinking demon blood, and having Ruby in his ear.

Also, to play devils advocate on myself, Sam has actually left towns before without saying goodbye to the girl he had a connection with, maybe not after sleeping with her, but it’s not wholly out of character for him to leave without saying goodbye (I’m not criticizing him for this). Also, I really don’t think that doctor was looking for anything more from Sam beyond hooking up in her office, so this doesn’t bother me much.

Final thoughts

Anyway, I’m not arguing that everyone has to love every episode, or even like all the ones that I do. I’m not even arguing that people need to like Sex and Violence because it really can be a little uncomfortable, and there is a bit of a sexual undercurrent to it all, even though that’s not the sirens intention with the brother. That’s also not exactly new on Supernatural. However, it’s weird to me that so many of the things that “bumped” for Rob and Rich seem to me like very deliberate choices by the writers, not careless mistakes or pointlessly out of character. This episode reveals a lot about where Sam and Dean are at this point in the season, both individually and in their relationship.

Granted, I have the benefit of watching the episode and knowing where it’s all leading, but this is what sort of bothers me about hearing people discuss the show who are doing it for a purpose and are probably only half-invested in the story. They miss things that seem like they should be really clear. Also, it’s funny when they find things uncomfortably sexual in relation to Sam and Dean (they didn’t outright say that, but I think it was implied in what they said) and act like it’s a surprise or out of place. Again, this isn’t new. They obviously listened to too many hellers if they didn’t realize that Sam and Dean are weirdly close at times or that the show makes some pretty blatant parallels between them and couples or makes quasi-incestuous connections between Sam and Dean.

I have nothing else to add here. This was mostly just a rant, but feel free to add your two cents if you made it this far.

[lol-jackles]

As far as I could tell, Jared girls continue to ignore Jensen's career trajectory, which is what is really pissing off the AAs lol.

For real though, Mark has been UNHINGED since Jensen's news dropped. I expect it when Jared is working and Jensen isn't, but this is the opposite so you would think he would be happy. But I see him seeking out any Jared tweets to try and drag him (even innocuous ones) and any Jensen post that even has a whiff of negativity he is there with his same 4-6 screenshots yelling about Jensen being a super duper Democrat and ally (even though he was registered Republican in Cali and Texas and is only now registered Dem in Ct....). But I think what he wanted was Jared fans to have a breakdown so he could revel in it. But mostly we're over here like, ok, so JA has roles now, will you leave US alone finally? No? Didn't think so... And THAT pisses him off more than Jared's existence.

I never understood why Jensen seem to attract fandoms' bottom feeders. I don't entirely subscribe to the "your vibe attracts your tribe" saying, but being in the SPN fandom kind of makes it hard to disregard it.

I don't have to have interactions with this Mark person to know for all his fake tough talks he's the kind of person who can easily be defeated with penicillin.

You know how you know if a man has it all figured out?  Lack of envy.  If I see a guy who is stronger, better looking, makes more money, and has a hotter girlfriend than me, am I envious or happy for him?  Am I happy for what I have as well?   That’s how you know you’ve “figured it all out" because it's all really just about being happy with what you have and extending that happiness to others and what they have.  

The AAs need to be happy that Jensen is getting his own show as well as more acting gigs, but they can’t because they haven’t figured out their own lives.  I read somewhere that “The one who blames others has a long way to go. The one who blames himself is half way through. And the one who blames no one has reached his destination”.  

Whatever is wrong in the AAs’ lives (and boy did they overshared on the now-defunct IMDb forum), they rather blame others than have their lives figured out.  Jensen is their proxy who they blame Jessica Alba/Jared Padalecki for having attributes that they want for Jensen because they know it’s what made Jessica/Jared more successful than him.

[sofreddie]

Against All Odds

Summary: Jared is a small-town Deputy who's lived there all his life. When he met Y/N - a new Omega in town - in the drunk tank, he wondered if he'd ever get a second chance at love.

Characters: Alpha!Correctional Officer!Jared x Omega!Reader

Warnings: A/B/O Dynamics, Angst, Fluff, Drinking/Alcohol Abuse, Medical Conditions, Medical Treatments, Heat/Rut Cycles, Medical Emergency, Procedural Violations (Doctors bending the rules/laws), Smut (Fuck or Die, Unprotected Sex, Knotting, Claiming/Biting, Dirty Talk)

AU: CORRECTIONAL OFFICER!JARED (@spnaubingo)

ANGST: IN THE HOSPITAL (@anyfandomangstbingo)

OMEGAVERSE: CLAIM SEX (@afgomegaversebingo)

SW: FREE SPACE (@samwinchesterbingo)

WC: 11,623

A/N: So I started this fic in 2021 for my Bingos (which I am still working on and intend to complete eventually). I doubt they count anymore, but that's not the point, LOL. I took quite a few liberties with the prompts. Although it took ages to complete, I am delighted with how this fic turned out. I hope you enjoy it! Feedback is appreciated. : )

My Masterlist

The weight of her head was heavy in her hands, the concrete beneath her cold enough to numb her backside. Groaning, she pinched her eyes shut against the overly bright lights that rained down on her, creating a constant pounding behind her closed lids.

"Good Morning, Ms. Y/L/N. How are we feeling today?"

Y/N groaned louder, the chipper and familiar voice only adding to her torment.

"Mornin' Padadeputy," she snorted at her joke, wincing as it caused her poor, battered brain pain. "Can I go home?" she croaked, working her mouth to ease the dryness.

She could use a drink. But the very thought had her throwing a hand over her mouth and rushing to the steel toilet in the corner, the remnants of her late-night excursions making a reappearance.

Wiping a hand across her mouth, she leaned her back against the wall, her head tilted back, and her eyes closed as she felt a bit of relief from her suffering. Though the constant rhythmic pounding in her head only grew more prominent.

The sound of metal sliding against metal, locks clicking, and doors sliding alerted her that she was no longer confined. Opening her eyes just enough, she could make out her favorite deputy's tall and lean figure.

"So, at this rate, should we keep this room open for you?" Officer Padalecki joked as he leaned against the open doorway of the cell.

Using the wall as leverage, she forced herself to her feet, her body protesting the movements. She quickly rinsed her mouth and washed her face, waking herself up enough to return home.

"Maybe I just like seeing you?" She smiled over-sweetly and shuffled past him as her feet walked the familiar path.

"Not that I'm complaining, but there's probably better ways to get my attention," he teased.

The flirty banter between them happened with ease. Y/N, unfortunately, made a habit of landing herself in the drunk tank at least once a week. Though they'd never seen or talked to each other outside of the local jail, they formed an easy camaraderie.

The truth was he worried about her, the unclaimed Omega slowly drinking herself to death, being forcibly removed from local bars for disorderly conduct on many occasions. She seemed like a sweet but troubled woman. Maybe it was his caring side or his Alpha, but he worried and wanted her to be okay.

Y/N's senses were sharp, even when drunk out of her mind. She could see his attractiveness and smell his rich Alpha lurking under the surface. She'd never been with an Alpha, never felt the pull. But in her condition, there was no way she could start now, even if there were an attraction unlike anything she'd felt before. She brushed it off as another symptom; her Omega had long since become unreliable.

-

Jared walked back into the office area after escorting Y/N outside. As soon as he entered, Jensen looked up with a lewd grin, making Jared sigh and roll his eyes.

"Alright, let's have it," Jared scoffed as he sat at his desk, crossing his booted feet on the desktop and leaning back in his chair.

He had worked with Jensen at the station for years, but they had met at the training academy before that. However, they only spent a little time together outside of work, as they were involved in the community. Sometimes, they'd see each other at local events, but they were both occupied with helping the community in various ways, volunteering, and making their hometown well-cared for and safe.

Y/N was relatively new to their community. No one knew much about her. She lived in town but didn't seem to work anywhere, and she spent almost every Friday night sleeping it off in the jail. Regardless, Jared was attracted to her almost immediately after catching a slight hint of her scent. He often felt like a swooning teenager again in her presence, which Jensen never missed a chance to rib him about, leaving Jared an embarrassed and blustering mess.

"So, you ever gonna ask her out, or you just planning to be a secret admirer?" Jensen teased as usual.

"Come on, man," Jared groaned. "We've been over this. It's unprofessional to do that when I'm on duty and she's in jail. I never see her outside of this place. Maybe it's just not meant to be?"

He didn't like how the words tasted as he spoke them, somehow feeling malformed. There was something between them, a possible compatibility. After all, Jensen could never catch any scent from her; he was an Alpha, too. So, if Jared was sensitive to her scent, it must mean something.

Jensen shook his head and laughed before getting back to some paperwork. Jared sighed again, doing the same and wondering if he'd ever see her outside the jail and off duty, just like two people in the world. Then, he promised himself, he’d try again.

-

After Jared clocked out for the end of his shift - his relief right on time as usual - he tried to put Y/N out of his mind, but his Alpha was set on her ever since he'd first laid eyes on her. His mind flip-flopped as usual, switching from the primal Alpha wanting her to the rational man determined to remain professional. Either way, whatever was going on in her life, he was sure the last thing she needed was an Alpha sniffing around.

As he walked towards his truck, twirling his keys in his hand, he saw Y/N waiting on a bench by the station. She usually called a cab to come and get her when she was released, but she was long gone by the time he left to go home. Deciding to take a chance, he went over to her.

"Waiting on your cab?" he smiled down at her.

She nodded, "Yeah, they're just a little busy this morning."

"I can give you a ride if you'd like," he offered, pointing over his shoulder at his truck. Y/N's eyes flitted between him and his truck before she sighed and nodded.

"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks."

She could feel his eyes on her as she climbed in the old truck, the effort seeming to drain her. She glanced at him, the same look of worry she saw from everyone etched onto his beautiful face.

"I'm fine. Just need some sleep."

It was one of her standard responses. She was glad that Jared seemed to buy it and started driving. She gave him directions to her house, grateful the town was small and wasn't a long drive.

"Thanks again," she said as she climbed out of the truck and shut the door. "See you later."

"I hope under different circumstances," he chuckled, a light tinge of pink staining his cheeks and ears.

Yeah, she wished that things could be different, too. She bid her farewell as it was, noting that Jared hadn't driven off until she was safely secured inside. Sighing, she brushed it off, eager to get rid of the stink of jail and stale liquor that clung to her.

She stumbled into her bathroom, pulling off her clothes on the way, a haphazard trail left behind her. She leaned on the bathroom counter, groaning at her disheveled reflection in the mirror. Drinking wasn't doing her any favors, but it was the only way to drown the pain and sorrow.

She turned to the corner of the counter, opening her organized pill box and eyeballing the many different medications in various colors and sizes she had to take every day. She hated it, but her regimen required it as part of her treatment for aging, unmated Omegas.

She downed the pills with a glass of water, showered, and dried as quickly as possible. Forgoing clothes, she climbed into her bed, sleep taking over quickly.

-

Y/N sat in the oversized pleather chair, letting out a long sigh. Her eyes were more than bored with whatever random home makeover show played on the muted TV. She allowed her eyes to roam, taking in the other chairs like hers, with different people occupying them.

Her head rolled to the other side, glancing at the IV in her arm, her eyes following up the tubing to the bag hanging above her, still half-full. She groaned, knowing she'd be there a while yet.

She'd been at it for six months, and the treatment of donated Alpha enzymes was designed to counteract the decline of her Omega body. She was past the average age for Omegas to be mated, never having found an Alpha that called to her Omega. Now, being mateless had become a medical condition, her body rapidly deteriorating from lack of a mate and the necessary enzymes a bite would provide.

Still, the treatments would only work so much and for so long, prolonging the inevitable. Y/N's doctors insisted she try finding a mate as soon as possible, but she wasn't willing to settle for anyone. Her stubbornness, however, didn't help her condition. The treatments weren't as effective anymore, and her body started to build a tolerance. She shifted in her chair, the squeaky creak of the materials making her groan.

"Y/N?"

Her head snapped up, and her brow furrowed at the figure across the room. He finished his conversation with a doctor, rolling the sleeves of his plaid flannel down over his forearms as he approached her with a smile.

He pulled up one of the smaller guest chairs beside her, laying his coat over his knee. His body looked too large and long for the basic chair.

"Padadeputy," she greeted, but without the usual smile. "What are you doing here?" she asked, still confused over his sudden appearance and at having someone see her here. She hadn't told a soul about her treatments, not that she had anyone to say anything to.

"Jared," he corrected her with a smile. "I come in a couple times a month," he explained. "I donate enzymes."

His eyes drifted from the IV in her arm to the hanging bag, his gaze flicking back to her eyes. She lowered her head in shame, heat spreading across her cheeks. For a moment, they both wondered if it was his enzymes she'd received.

The awkward silence dragged out between them, Jared waiting for her to speak. She didn't like anyone knowing about her condition, afraid Alphas would try to claim her in a heartbeat 'for her own good.' But, for whatever reason, Y/N felt compelled to tell Jared the truth. She wanted him to know. Maybe her Omega was reaching out to him again, but she gave in to this small need to connect with the Alpha before her.

"I've never had a mate," she spoke quietly, picking at her nails. "I've been doing treatments for a few months. But it's-" she sighed, briefly meeting his eyes and forcing a smile, "-it's not working so well."

"I had a mate," Jared broke the silent tension after a beat. "A long time ago," he dropped his head. She worried for him, wanting to reach out and comfort him. But she focused instead on her hands in her lap again.

"She died in an accident," he continued, seemingly composing himself as he met her eyes again. "Now that I'm…older," he smirked, "It's getting harder to deal with." She was thoroughly surprised by his admission.

"Well, I wouldn't recommend drinking to cope," she chuckled, trying to ease the seriousness.

"I can't imagine the drinking is helping," Jared stated. "It can't be good with the treatments-"

"I don't need a lecture," she whined, surprised at herself for not being more angry at his audacity. "I get enough of that from my doctor."

"Maybe you should listen," Dr. Collins interrupted with a smile and a reassuring hand on Y/N's shoulder. "Hey, Jared. Didn't know you two knew each other."

"Hey, Mish," Jared responded with a warm smile. 

Misha had also grown up in the town and was a prominent fixture in the community. The Omega Outreach Program, which he helped found and develop, drew Omegas from all over for his unique treatments and regimens.

Y/N listened as the two men chatted. She often felt like an outsider, having moved there specifically for the treatments. When both men turned their attention back to her, she was pulled from her musings.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I'd like to go over some things with you. Would you like Jared to leave?"

Both men waited as she made up her mind, shaking her head. "He can stay," she said in a small and quiet voice.

Jared was the closest thing she had to a friend; having someone to know and talk to about things would be helpful. But also, it was an attempted blow to stifle her Omega. As much as she pined after Jared, she knew he wouldn't be interested if he knew the truth of her condition. What Alpha would want a broken, dying Omega? At least when he learned, he could leave, and she could try and let go of this stupid fantasy she'd concocted in her mind.

"Okay," Dr. Collins nodded as he pulled up a seat to talk with her. "You'll be happy to know it appears this round of treatments is starting to work, at least a little," he explained. Y/N was surprised as each round of treatments before had failed, her body not finding compatibility with any of the enzymes she was provided. Now, it seemed, they'd finally found a match. "I'm still worried about your heat. And, of course," he leveled her with a gaze, "The goal is to find an Alpha for a permanent solution possibly. Have you given more thought to what we discussed?"

She appreciated his vagueness at the time, seeing Jared stir quietly. Dr. Collins had recommended a matching service that would pair her with an Alpha who needed an Omega. A clinical pairing that would keep them alive, if not happy or in love. That wasn't the point of those programs; she didn't want to go that route. It felt like giving up, and a small part of her hoped to find the fairytale of True Mates and love and romance. Her eyes flashed to Jared, stirring deep within her, alerting her to the fact her Omega was trying to seek the Alpha it needed in him.

"No," she shook her head, forcing her eyes from Jared back to Misha. "I don't want to do that."

Misha sighed, glancing between the pair before nodding. "Alright, we'll continue your treatments and see how you do. Same time next week?"

She smiled and nodded, and Dr. Collins dismissed himself to help the next patient. She liked him a lot. He never seemed to judge her, was open, kind, and understanding, but provided the same level of detailed care to every one of his patients. It was a big part of what made him so sought after in the first place.

"It seems pretty bad," Jared mumbled once they were alone again. He tried to bite back the rising jealousy at his following words: "He's recommending a matching service, isn't he?" She nodded, and he felt a little queasy. "Is that what you want?"

"No," she said, meeting his eyes. "I don't want to give myself to any Alpha to survive. But because I've never been with an Alpha at all, my condition is worse. I'm afraid the choice will be taken from me."

Jared licked his lips and leaned forward, ready to take the chance and offer himself to her, "Y/N, I-"

His phone ringing made him squeeze his eyes shut and curse. As he answered the phone, Jared's body slumped, and Y/N knew he would have to leave.

"-I have to go," he finished lamely, flashing her an apologetic look.

"Duty calls," she chuckled, attempting again to lighten a rather heavy mood.

He laughed with a light sparkle in his eyes. Even though he was a rather large Alpha, she felt comfortable around him. Conversation flowed easily, and she found herself drawn to him in a way she hadn't felt with anyone before. She was almost sad when her treatment finished, and he bid her farewell. Her eyes followed him until he disappeared from her sight.

Maybe it's for the best, she thought, that he leaves before her Omega reaches out for him with dying desperation, ignoring the lingering flutter in her chest. Regardless, she hoped she might see him again, not from within the drunk tank.

-

Jared checked his watch, hurrying his steps toward the hospital's entrance. He did his best to try and calm his racing heart. Jared scheduled his donations for several weeks to coincide with Y/N's treatments.

After their third visit, Dr. Collins pulled him aside to say that she'd been improving with Jared's visits and that the treatments were becoming more effective. However, they still wouldn't tell him if she received his enzymes, so Jared made sure to be there for her.

She was utterly alone, he learned. And her drinking that kept landing her in jail was a failed coping mechanism. She was spiraling toward a painful end. The more he knew and the more time he spent with her, the stronger the pull between them became.

Maybe it was because they were both without a mate. Perhaps it was because they were both dealing with their bodies degrading. But he held on to the slight hope that maybe they were compatible, and that's why their visits always felt like the highlight of his week.

He was nervous as he reached the treatment floor. He was excited to see Y/N and had been working up the nerve over the past two weeks. This time, he was ready; he would go for it and ask her out. Their connection was strong, and he'd been attracted to her since he first saw her. Finally, things were aligning.

As he entered the clinic, his heart sank. He did not see Y/N anywhere among those receiving treatment. He knew it was the right day, the same as it had always been. Checking his watch once more, he frowned. Turning to the receptionist's desk, he gave his name and signed in on the sheet. While the woman behind the desk typed on her computer, he took a moment to glance over the sign-in sheet, not seeing her name anywhere.

Maybe she had other things going on and had to reschedule her appointment. Jared forced back his despondency, deciding to show up earlier the following week. As he sat through his donation, his mind overthinking in circles and lamenting her absence, the most primal side of his inner Alpha began to wake for the first time in years.

-

Jared tried to focus on the paperwork at his desk, but he was restless, his inner Alpha rising to the forefront increasingly with each passing day. He could feel Jensen's eyes boring into him, but he did his best to ignore it. Jensen was increasingly concerned as he watched his Alpha friend unravel before him. He wasn't even sure Jared was aware of the huffs and growls falling from his lips sporadically, his scent permeating everything around him.

"What?" Jared growled at his friend and co-worker with bared teeth. At Jensen's raised brow, Jared tried to compose himself. "I'm sorry."

"Man, I've never seen you like this," Jensen said. "Not even after Gen."

"I know," Jared responded defensively, trying not to bristle at the mention of his former mate.

"Have you seen Y/N lately?"

Jensen didn't want to bring her up, but she hadn't been in jail in weeks. While grateful for that, he could see how badly it affected Jared not to see or be around her.

"She wasn't at the clinic," Jared mumbled, seeing Jensen's curious look. Remembering no one knew, he decided to talk it out with a friend. "She goes to the clinic for Omega treatment," he explained. "I've seen her when I go for donations, but she wasn't there this week."

"Look, I don't want you snapping my head off. But you're different around her, and now that she's not around, you're not looking great. I thought it was just a crush, but maybe you've imprinted," Jensen said as Jared scowled. "Maybe she's yours."

Jared tried to ignore how those words affected him, making him purr at the thought of her being his. He'd entertained the idea himself, the fantastical notion of True Mates. He tried to brush it off as silly, immature musings. But now, hearing Jensen vocalize the same thoughts, Jared wondered if maybe it wasn't just childish notions grounded in something genuine.

When Jared didn't speak and returned to work, Jensen let it go. However, he was determined to keep an eye on his friend and help if needed. He didn't want to see Jared spin out like he did when he lost his mate, Gen. Maybe Jared and Y/N could save each other from a fate worse than death.

-

As promised to himself, Jared returned to the clinic the following week, an hour before he or Y/N were usually scheduled to be there. He sat and waited, completed his donation, and waited another hour beyond the end of his appointment.

But Y/N never showed.

His Alpha was beginning to spin out of his control. A control he maintained so tightly and with relative ease most of his life was now being stripped away in his worry over Y/N. An Omega. One that his Alpha wanted to claim as its own.

He continued going to work each day, both happy and sad that she was never there. He visited the clinic daily to see if her schedule had changed, but she was absent. He briefly entertained the idea of showing up at her door, but he stopped himself. As much as he may care about and want her, she wasn't his Omega. She wasn't his anything, and he had no right to show up. If anything, she might consider it an abuse of his knowledge or power as a deputy, and he certainly didn't want that either.

By the time of his next appointment, Jared was a mess. His Alpha was now at the forefront. He felt almost on the cusp of a rut and wasn't due for some time. The looks from the hospital staff irritated him further as he huffed and stomped his way into the clinic, wiping the ever-present sweat from his brow. It took all he had to contain himself when Dr. Collins refused his weekly donation and sent him home.

He decided to call out of work that night, his rut on the cusp, his Alpha barely restrained. He never called out of work, keeping himself to a strict and disciplined schedule and lifestyle - his way of controlling the beast.

Jared was interrupted from his musings by the phone ringing. He scowled, checking the ID and seeing it was the station. He laid back on the couch with a groan, wiping the sweat from his brow before answering.

"I told you I was too sick to come in tonight," Jared nearly growled.

"I know. But your lady friend found herself locked up again." It was Jensen. "She wanted me to call you."

That had him sitting upright, clutching the phone a little tighter. "She okay?" he asked, jumping up from the couch and rushing to put on his shoes.

"Drunk," Jensen sighed into the phone. "Not as lively as usual, though."

Jared slammed his door as he hastened to his truck, eager to see her and hoping she was okay. His Alpha was chomping at the bit.

"I'll be there in a few minutes."

God, he couldn't be anything but happy she was alive. He slowly drove himself mad for weeks, wondering if he'd missed his chance. Maybe she was going feral, and he couldn't help. Perhaps he did something to piss her off, and she was avoiding him. But now, at least, he knew she was alive and out in the world and asking for HIM. His Alpha puffed with pride, ready to answer his Omega's call.

He barely had the truck in park before hopping out, his long legs marching hurriedly to the station doors. He banged on the glass of the locked front door with an open palm, shuffling from foot to foot as he waited for entry. The bright lights around the law enforcement facility thoroughly polluted the dark of night.

As the door opened, Jared met Jensen's eyes, which roamed him from head to toe and back again. Jared squirmed under the scrutiny, knowing he was a mess. His hair was wild and matted with sweat. His clothes and body were drenched in pheromones, making Jensen's nose crinkle.

"You good?" he asked.

"Yeah," Jared nodded and swallowed hard, taking several breaths to try and calm himself.

Jensen hesitated momentarily, eyeing Jared warily before huffing and letting him in. Jared followed hot on his heels as Jensen unlocked doors and led the way into the holding cell.

Jared froze as soon as his eyes landed on her. She was huddled in the corner, looking far worse than he'd ever seen her. She was undoubtedly drunk, but by the smells permeating every corner of the room, he knew it was more than just alcohol that was making her so lethargic.

"Y/N?" he called out loudly as he clung to the bars.

She stirred and grunted but didn't respond beyond that. Jared's nostrils flared, his Alpha ready to pry the bars apart to get to her.

"Omega?" he whimpered under his breath as if saying it were a delicate secret.

Hearing her title, she sat up slightly, fluttering open her eyes to lock on the source. She took a deep breath at the slight whine from the Alpha on the other side of the bars. As her vision cleared and her body filled with his scent, she rose, stumbling to him. When her smaller hands clutched at the bars, he automatically moved to cover hers with his own, drawing a small whimper from the fragile Omega.

"Sorry, Padadeputy," she smirked, finally meeting his eyes. "I didn't have anyone else to call."

He could see unspoken pain in her eyes, could sense just how bad her condition had gotten and how worse she was making it from drinking. He reluctantly released her, stepping back from the bars and turning to Jensen.

"Let her out," Jared asked but with a commanding Alpha edge. "I'll take her home."

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," Jensen protested.

"I don't care what you think," Jared growled. "I'm taking her home where she can sleep it off. You don't know her condition, man."

"And you do?" Jensen asked surprisingly calmly, though his look was anything but.

"Yes, I do," Jared stood tall, squaring his shoulders. "I won't hurt her."

Jensen was still hesitant. But in the end, he trusted his friend. Jared had always been thoughtful and in control in a way Jensen envied. If he could trust anyone with her care, it was Jared. Besides, whatever the Hell was going on with her, she'd certainly do better at home than in a cold, concrete cell.

With a nod and a huff, Jensen relented, turning to the cell door and opening it up, letting Y/N out.

She smiled at Jensen, "Thank you, Ocifer Ankles." She grinned, making Jensen roll his eyes.

"Just get her home safe, okay?"

"Promise," Jared nodded, wrapping an arm around Y/N to steady her as they left the building and walked to his truck.

He secured her safely in the passenger's seat, closed the door, and jogged to the driver's side. He hopped in and started up the truck but leaned back in his seat with a huff, taking a deep breath.

He turned to Y/N, surprised to find her already looking at him. "You called for me," he breathed out, more a statement than a question.

"Well, I didn't have your number," she fidgeted with her hands. “I didn't know anyone else and wanted to go home."

"I haven't seen you in weeks-"

He stopped as her hand landed on his, squeezing lightly. "I'm sorry," she said. “I'll explain everything. Please, take me home."

He agreed, guiding the truck onto the road and quickly remembering the route to her house. He may not have gone there, but he traveled the path in his mind often enough. He was pleasantly surprised that she held his hand the whole ride, even if her attention was on the passing scenery.

Parking in the driveway, they both got out. Y/N quickly took Jared by the hand again as she led him into her house. Guiding him to the couch, she went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. He was already missing her touch and warmth, her presence beside him. He fought the urge to wander into the kitchen and forced himself to sit on the couch.

She knew there was a lot to tell him. She could tell he was riled, and she wasn't entirely surprised. During his visits, they talked and grew more familiar, and Y/N began to entertain the thought of having an Alpha. It was hard for her not to see him in weeks, and she could see that it also affected him.

Pouring the coffee into two mugs, she carried them to the living room, handing Jared one before sitting on the couch facing him.

"Jared," she started, and he purred at hearing his name from her lips. "I'm sorry if I made things awkward by calling you."

"What?" he said, setting his mug on the small table and paying attention to her. "You didn't. I'm glad you called."

She smiled bashfully, "I'm sorry I haven't been to treatment in a while."

"What happened, Y/N?" he asked, still worried but needing to know why she was gone.

"My heat's trying to break through," she explained. "It's been a long time since I've had one because of medications. It didn't hit fully, but what started to break through was enough to make me sick."

Jared's breathing picked up as he listened to her words. His Alpha was going into a panic again. He knew something was wrong. If it was her heat, he could've helped. He can help.

"I was admitted to the Omega wing at the hospital," seeing him getting worked up, she tried to calm him. "They got it managed and switched my meds. It's been trying to worm to the surface for weeks."

"Eventually, it'll come back full force, though, right?" he swallowed hard at the question, knowing full well how painful and possibly fatal a heat for her could be. He had thoroughly researched her condition, and it only made him more sure they met for a reason.

"I've never had an Alpha, Jared. I've never even been with one before." 

He let out a deep growl at her statement, which was more a call to her womanhood than something scary. He wasn't fully aware he'd done it until he saw her body respond. Taking a chance and testing the waters, she set her cup on the table and scooted closer to him. Leaning in, she lay her head on his chest, her arms wrapping around him in a tight hug. She breathed in deeply, blatantly scenting him and humming in satisfaction and comfort.

Jared set his mug aside and wrapped his arms around her, tucking her close. He leaned down to scent her hair as she breathed in his scent, an involuntary groan ripping from his lips. In his youth, he would have been eager to take and claim. Now, there was only calm and peace, her scent and warmth soothing the primal beast within.

"You know I had an Omega before," Jared's voice rumbled in his chest. "It shames me to say this, but it never felt like this."

"I know what you mean," she responded, squeezing him a little, making him hold her closer. “I've never felt such compatibility before. I can usually resist Alphas, but with you…"

True mates, Jared's mind offered, but he remained silent. As the conversation quieted, he moved to retrieve the remote from the table, putting something on to watch until she was ready to sleep. It didn't take long for her to pass out. Jared carefully moved, scooping her into his arms and carrying her to her bedroom. He tucked her under the covers, standing over her as she settled into comfort.

He knew this was when he should leave but he couldn't move his feet. His eyes drifted over Y/N’s face, settled peacefully in slumber, before looking over her shape and form, hidden by the covers. She was beautiful, her scent sweet and enticing. His muscles twitched as he fought the urge to crawl beside her, his Alpha yearning to make her his.

He could leave, he supposed, and he probably should. But he didn't want to, and he reasoned that Y/N probably needed someone to look after her anyway. So, returning to the living room, he kicked off his shoes and settled on the couch. He was asleep in a matter of minutes, her scent surrounding him and providing him with much-needed comfort.

-

Jared woke suddenly in the middle of the night, a second of confusion clouding his mind before he realized why he had woken. Drenched in sweat, he discovered his rut had finally broken in his relaxed state. Although he could smell himself—sweating in the same clothes for two days and soaked once more—her delectable scent still permeated everything.

Now fully awake, he sat upright on the couch, cradling his aching head. His Alpha was desperate to go to her, sneak into her room, and ease their suffering. But he also didn't want to scare her or ruin what they were starting to develop between them. He wouldn't let himself lose control with her. But if he stayed there much longer, the choice might be taken from him.

Mind made up, he searched for a scrap of paper and something to write with, hastily jotting down his number and that he'd see her at the next treatment appointment the following day. He placed the note on the coffee table and forced his feet towards the door. He paused with his hand on the handle, his forehead leaning against the cool door. His Alpha was screaming at him not to do this or leave her.

With his last bought of strength and willpower, he opened the door, shutting it quietly behind him as he forced his feet toward his truck, hoping to sleep it off at home.

-

When she woke in the morning, she felt awful. She knew right away that her heat had broken. She feared this would be the one the doctor had warned her about - the one that would drive her feral. She could faintly smell Jared, and her body forced her to crawl from the bed and towards the source.

She stumbled to the living room like a zombie on automatic. She was surprised not to find him there when she reached the couch. Maybe he was in the bathroom? She glanced at the coffee table, seeing a paper. Dashing to grab it, she read the hastily scribbled note from Jared.

He had to go but would see her at her next appointment. That was tomorrow afternoon. Her Omega whined in protest of his absence. His scent lingered, and she crawled onto the couch, wrapping herself in the throw and drowning in his potent scent. It seemed to seep into everything fabric he touched and slept upon.

As Jared's rich, Alpha scent filled her lungs, her heat slammed into her with a ferocity that terrified her. The pain compounded with heartbreak over the perceived rejection from his departure. His scent ramped up her body from desire to urgent need as a pitiful whine escaped her parted lips.

With hazy images in her mind's eye, her hand wandered down her body and between her thighs, desperate for any form of relief from the burning within her. She came hard with Jared's name on her lips but was still unsatisfied and yearning. Already feeling tired and drained, she forced her fingers to continue, her wetness more than she'd ever felt before. A brief, alarming worry flashed through her before a second climax erased all thought. Again, it wasn't quite enough, but it eased her pain just enough for her to fall asleep.

-

Jared rushed toward the clinic doors, his heart racing. Ever since he'd left Y/N's house, he'd been itching to see her again, to just be near her. He'd showered twice and doused himself in scent blockers, knowing they wouldn't let him stay if he was in a rut. But he'd promised to see her. He couldn't donate in his condition, but he could keep her company and show her he could be trusted.

Taking a deep breath to calm his nerves, Jared walked into the clinic, his eyes flitting about, looking for her. He didn't see or scent her anywhere. Glancing at the clock, he reviewed the sign-in sheet, but her name was not listed. A sinking dread filled his stomach, and he was unaware of his worried Alpha scent growing and filling the space, drawing unwanted attention.

Jared rechecked his phone, but there were no calls or texts. He sent Y/N a text as he began to panic. Maybe he shouldn't have left. Maybe he should go to her house and see if she was okay. His spiraling panic had amped his rut again, the blockers now useless against the many emotions and pheromones clogging the air.

Nurse Benedict - a small but kind man - approached him warily, and Jared looked around to see him drawing attention.

"Hey, Jared," he spoke calmly with a soft smile. "You shouldn't be here in your condition."

Jared could see several patients eyeing him warily, and he knew he was making them uncomfortable.

"I—I'm sorry," he apologized and reluctantly forced himself to leave. The familiar voice of Dr. Collins stopped him at the door.

"Jared?"

Misha had just stepped off the elevators leading to the hospital. Jared's nostrils flared, and his pupils dilated as he caught Y/N's scent from the smaller male. His rut was still simmering under the surface, and her scent on another man—regardless of whom—exacerbated it. 

The Alpha within gained the upper hand as Jared rushed Misha, pinning him against the wall with his forearm across the smaller male’s throat, baring his teeth in warning as he growled. 

“Where is she?”

“Who?” Misha squeaked, urging Jared to loosen his hold enough for him to speak. “Who are you looking for, Jared?”

“Y/N. Where is Y/N? I can smell her all over you. Did you touch what’s mine?” 

Misha knew Jared was deep into his rut. Moreover, his apparent instincts over Y/N further confirmed his suspicions about the pair. 

“Dr. Collins,” Nurse Benedict said, and Misha raised his hand to urge him to stay back. “Should I call security?”

“No. Thank you, Rob. We’re fine. Just need a little space to talk, is all.”

Misha remained calm as Nurse Benedict backed away, leaving him and Jared alone. Jared relaxed and released Misha, a part of him sensing his anger was misplaced. 

"Is she here?" Jared growled, unable to maintain pleasantries. 

Even his logical mind screamed that he was her doctor, for crying out loud. Dr. Collins looked Jared up and down before glancing down the hallway to see Nurse Benedict still watching the scene.

"Come with me," Misha insisted, gesturing for Jared to follow him onto the elevator. Pressing the floor button, the elevator doors closed, leaving the two men alone. "She's on the Omega treatment floor; she was brought in the middle of the night by ambulance."

Guilt slammed into him hard; he knew he shouldn't have left. He was trying to be respectful, but it may have been what sent her there. He couldn't lose her. Not when he'd finally let himself believe they could have something.

The bell chimed, indicating they'd reached their floor as the doors opened again. Jared followed Y/N's doctor in silence. He wasn't her Alpha and wouldn't be allowed to see her or even be on the floor, especially in his condition. But he trusted Misha and didn't want to get thrown out. So he stayed quiet and followed a very close step behind.

Jared tried to tamper down his Alpha as the overwhelming scents of Omegas and their Alphas assaulted him. While he could scent they mainly were bonded, the pheromones had him wanting to fight or fuck it out.

“Dr. Collins?”

A brunette female doctor greeted Misha as they stopped in the hall. Her gaze flicked over Jared questioningly before returning to Misha in confusion. Jared was finding it difficult to control himself when they reached the floor, and everyone was looking at him or scurrying away, his scent potent and alarming.

“Dr. Rhodes,” Misha greeted with a smile. “This is Jared. We’re here for Y/N Y/L/N.”

Dr. Rhodes was slightly concerned and upset over the situation, not to mention the visible marks on Misha’s neck. She was almost sure this was a dangerous Alpha and her colleague was being coerced. Pulling a syringe stealthily from her coat pocket, Dr. Rhodes attempted to inject Jared with a sedative. Jared was too quick - years of police training made him ever aware of possible danger - and he pinned her to the wall, just like he had with Misha, growling and squeezing her wrist until she cried out in pain and dropped the syringe.

“Jared, let her go.”

Expecting Misha, Jared was surprised to see Jensen beside him, still in uniform. Jared eased his grip, glancing at Misha and seeing the fear in his eyes. He forced himself to release the doctor and backed away from her, his eyes flashing between her and Dr. Collins. Dr. Rhodes rubbed her aching wrist as she eyed Jared warily.

“What are you doing here?” 

“I came in with the ambulance after the emergency call,” Jensen explained, trying to control his anger. “I let her go home with you, and then I get a call there’s an emergency at her house. I thought you lost control like in the past and possibly did something.”

By the time he finished speaking, Jensen’s shoulders slumped, knowing his words would strike a chord with his friend. Jared was certainly pissed and hurt at the insinuation.

“I left because I didn’t want to force her into anything. I was losing my mind, and I left,” Jared yelled, tugging at his hair in frustration. His arms dropped to his sides, and he started to cry. “I did this to her by leaving. This is my fault.”

Jared dropped to his knees and cried into his hands. He tried to do the right thing by her, but she ended up hurt anyway. Jensen tried to comfort him, helping him to his feet. Jared wiped his eyes and struggled to control his emotions.

“Please,” Jared turned to Doctors Rhodes and Collins. “Please let me see her. She needs me, and I can fix this.”

“She’s unmated,” Dr. Rhodes snapped. “We can’t have an unmated Alpha in a rut here.”

“He’s her donor.”

“Excuse me?” Jared and Dr. Rhodes spoke at the same time.

Jared was just as surprised at Misha’s words; he and Dr. Rhodes both anticipated Dr. Collins's response.

“Y/N’s body rejected everything we gave her until she received Jared’s enzymes. It’s what has kept her alive this long. They are highly compatible.”

Highly compatible—a modern, scientific term to replace the adage of ‘True Mates.’ As Dr. Collins and Dr. Rhodes argued over professionalism and ethics, Jared’s mind tuned them out. Y/N was his—he just knew it, and she needed him. He couldn’t fathom losing another mate; he would surely go feral.

As they continued debating, Jared slipped away. In a trance, he let his nose and instincts guide him, finding Y/N’s room with ease. He entered the room, glancing back at the doctors before mostly closing the door behind him.

The sight of her lying in bed, covered in sweat and groaning in pain, broke his heart. But the luscious scent of her heat called out to him, drawing him closer until he stood beside her bed.

“Omega,” he breathed out, more of a growl that made her body jerk and her eyes flutter open with a groan.

“Jared?” she weakly asked, shuddering from cramps and fever.

Jared took her hand, the heat of her skin scorching. She sighed, and her body relaxed. After only a few moments, he watched in amazement as her vitals settled to something more normal, though her scent grew more potent.

“You left,” she croaked, pulling her hand from his hold, making him frown. “You rejected me.”

Jared was horrified, her perceived rejection making his heart clench painfully.

“No,” he insisted, retaking her hand and urging her to look at him, “No, Omega. I would never reject you. I didn’t want to take advantage.”

Drs. Rhodes and Collins entered the room, and Jared looked sheepish and caught but refused to move from Y/N’s side.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t be in here without authorization,” Dr. Rhodes spoke, Misha just beside her.

Jensen appeared again, grabbing Jared by the arm and trying to lead him from the room, “I’m sorry, Jared. I have to take you out of here. Don’t make it difficult, okay?”

“I’m an authorized donor,” Jared thought quickly on his feet. “You said she was getting my enzymes, right?” he spoke, fighting against Jensen’s hold.

“We could do a direct enzyme infusion,” Misha suggested to his colleague. “Kim, we have to do something. He can help.”

“The infusion would help,” Dr. Rhodes offered. 

“No,” Y/N spoke again. “I’m a broken and rejected Omega. I don’t want to go through this anymore.”

“Maybe we can give them a chance to talk?” Dr. Collins spoke with his colleague, seeing she was at least considering. No one wanted to see someone die because they couldn’t be matched or mated. 

“We should run tests,” Dr. Rhodes offered with a sigh, both Misha and Jared relieved she seemed to be on board finally.  “If they are compatible, they should mate as soon as possible.”

Jared was grateful they were bending the rules. As they all left the room, Jared felt the urgency of convincing Y/N that they could do this - could mate and be together if she wanted.

Holding her hand firmly in his, he cupped her cheek with his other hand, urging her to look at him. He took a moment to caress and soak in her features and scent.

“I left because you smelled so good I was afraid I’d lose control and do something you didn’t want. But I would very much like to be your Alpha.”

“I woke up, and I scented you,” Y/N explained. “But you weren’t there. I lay on the couch. I needed your scent.”

She fought back tears, and Jared did his best to soothe her from his position.

“The idea of having an Alpha, of belonging to them, terrifies me. I never wanted it, and now I’m paying for that. But then you came along, and I wasn’t afraid. I was drawn and curious but never afraid.” 

She let her tears fall then but smiled warmly at Jared, squeezing his hand.  Jared’s heart swelled. He shouldn’t have left, but now he’d get a second chance.

“Will you let me claim you?” He asked, needing to be bonded with her and knowing her body needed it too.

Before she could respond, two Beta nurses entered with Dr. Rhodes behind them, “So, are we doing the transfusion?”

Y/N and Jared held each others’ gaze for a long moment before Y/N turned to the doctor.

“Yes.”

Y/N looked back to Jared, who kissed her hand and moved into a chair beside the bed. The nurses set up IVs and a machine to feed Jared’s enzymes to stabilize her.

“As soon as possible,” Jared whispered just for her, “I’ll get you home and take care of you.”

The implications of his promise made her shiver. The staff left them alone while the transfusion was going on. However, after several minutes, Y/N looked like she was about to pass out as the alarms started blaring. Jared was out of his seat and at her side in a flash, cupping her face and trying to rouse her. The nurses and doctor rushed in, pushing Jared back into his chair as they checked her over. Her scent blossomed, almost choking him, and he detected the bitter tones of her heat on the verge of turning feral.

“The transfusion isn’t enough,” Dr. Rhodes explained to Jared.

“She needs a claim,” he understood, his feet pulling him closer to her. “Can I take her home?”

He couldn’t lose her, and he couldn’t survive losing another mate. He felt blessed at having found her, but now he felt cursed to know only loss. He knew it would save her if he could mate and claim her.

“She’s not stable enough to leave,” the doctor explained. “But I can secure the room and give you privacy,” she offered instead.

Jared could only nod, his Alpha ready to care for his mate, his scent informing all others to keep their distance. The doctor rushed off, giving Jared a wide berth and securing the door behind her as promised.

“Y/N?” Jared urged, trying to get her to focus on him, to at least hear him. “Omega?”

His voice was tinged with both whine and growl as he let his instincts guide him. He leaned down over Y/N and kissed her chaste but deeply.

“Alpha,” she whispered as her body sought him out.

“My true mate,” he whispered back reverently. “Not how I wanted this to go, but I can’t lose you. Need to mate and claim you.”

She shook her head, fighting to stay coherent and awake as the heat raced through her body. Her utter desperation for the Alpha before her was the only thing tethering her to wakefulness. 

“It’s too fast,” she protested, a tiny sliver of rationality clinging to her consciousness. 

“You’re dying,” he responded bluntly. “You would have had to have someone assigned as your mate. We’ll never get to know each other if you’re dead. I can’t let that happen when I can help you.” He held her face in his hands, his forehead pressed to hers. “Omega, please.”

“Jared,” she breathed, giving in to her body’s needs and tilting her head to kiss him. He responded in kind, his Alpha chomping to make her his. “Alpha, please. Need you. Need-”

Her voice trailed off as a painful cramp seized hold, making her whine and whimper. Jumping to action, Jared removed his shoes and hastily removed his clothes, leaving him in his boxer briefs. He pulled down the blankets and pushed up her hospital gown to her stomach. Her folds glistened in the harsh light, her scent potent and slamming into him hard. He breathed deep, his body shuddering.

Crawling on the bed to hover over her, she automatically spread her legs, Jared’s hand finding her core. Slipping two fingers inside, he groaned, feeling her soaked and more than ready for him.

She whined and squirmed, the fever taking hold. Jared would have reveled in her desperation and submission, but now was not the time or place. He removed her clothes and climbed on the small bed, settling between her legs and pulling the covers over them for modesty.

His hard and heavy cock twitched eagerly against her hot and drenched folds. Without hesitation, he slid within her, groaning at the delectable feel of her heat wrapped around him. She whimpered again, and he shushed her, kissing her sweet as he began to move.

It was desperate and clinical, feeding primal needs and alleviating both their near-feral biologies. Y/N still felt better than anyone he’d ever had, and he promised himself the romance would come later when they were both safely out of danger.

“Alpha,” she called out, her legs spreading wider, letting Jared slide even deeper. “Alpha, need your knot!”

Jared groaned long and deep, burying his face in her neck as he picked up his pace. The small bed creaked with his every movement. Her hands on his ass, pulling him even closer, reminded him of her desperation and his own.

“Gonna knot and mark you, Omega,” he warned, his knot already swelling, making it more challenging to fuck her how they needed. Feeling her grow close, he slipped a hand between them, rubbing tight and fast circles on her clit.

Her body tensed, right on the edge, and Jared could no longer hold off.

“Omega,” he groaned, his knot popping and locking them together.

As his teeth sank into her neck, marking her as his and bonding them, she came loud and hard, gushing around his knot.

They both lay panting, waiting for Jared’s knot to recede. Jared licked and kissed her wound, allowing his instincts to guide him, his heart full in a way he never thought possible after his loss. Once his knot released, he moved from the bed, dressed, and cleaned them up. When done, Y/N slept, and Jared ran to get someone to check to ensure she was okay.

He knew she would need more than one round to heal, but he hoped he could take her home, where it would be more comfortable and private. Jared rushed out of the room to find Drs. Rhodes and Collins who paused their speech when they saw him.

“Is everything alright?” Dr. Rhodes looked concerned.

“She’s sleeping,” Jared offered.

“I’ll just go check on her.”

Jared followed into Y/N’s room, and Dr. Collins was close behind. They both stood by patiently as Dr. Rhodes examined Y/N.

“She seems better,” Dr. Rhodes announced. “I’ll need to draw some blood, and we’ll need to keep her for observation for a few hours.”

Jared tensed but nodded. He didn’t want to be in the hospital any longer than necessary and just wanted to get her into a comfortable bed where he could tend to her every need and bring her back to life. But he could force himself to wait a few more hours for Y/N’s sake. He’d rather know she was stabilized before he removed her from the place that could save her if something went wrong. 

“Try to get some rest,” Misha insisted as Y/N’s blood was drawn. “You both need your strength.”

Once again, they were left alone, the door secured behind them. It was easier to control his instincts now that they were bonded, but it still took effort to restrain himself from those having to touch or go near his mate.

Jared took residence in his chair again, scooting it as close as possible to the bed so he could hold Y/N’s hand as she slept. He laid his head on her belly, watching her as she slumbered. It wasn’t long before he drifted off to sleep with her.

-

It took half a day and a second round before Y/N was stable enough to leave the hospital. The second she was wheeled outside—per hospital protocol—Jared scooped her from the chair into his arms and carried her to his waiting truck, tucking her safely inside.

Y/N was more than surprised when Jared pulled into her home's driveway. She expected as an Alpha - and her Alpha - that he’d want her in his space. Most Alphas were territorial in that way. Before she could vocalize a word, Jared was out of the truck and at her side, carrying her in his arms again towards her front door.

“I wanted you to be comfortable,” he explained as he opened her door. She was surprised he had her keys, but she supposed she was pretty out of it and was grateful she had someone looking out for her. “I figured you’d want to be in your space for now.”

It would take some getting used to. But as her eyes trailed over Jared’s body as he stood from laying her on the couch, she was thankful to have been blessed with such an attractive and caring mate. But her mood was soured as she smelled herself, a mix of her heat, sex, and not having showered in a couple of days.

“I want a shower,” she whined, her stomach gurgling loudly. “And something to eat.”

“Okay,” Jared readily agreed, ready to help her off the couch. “Why don’t we shower first, and then I’ll make us something to eat?”

“Jared,” she protested. “You don’t have to.”

“You’re my mate, Y/N,” he gently argued. “Please, Omega, let me take care of you?”

He pulled her to her feet, his arms wrapped around her securely. She swooned at his rich and calming scent as he quietly purred to soothe her.

“Yes, Alpha.” She smiled warmly at him, and Jared gave in to his urge to kiss her.

In the hospital, she was so out of it that she could barely remember them mating, let alone his kiss. She could feel the pulse in her neck from his bite, reminding her it was real. She imagined he was as gone as her when they mated, the urgency overriding all else. Now, however, she could savor his kiss - a kiss that was making her swoon so hard her legs gave out. Luckily, he was swift to scoop her into his arms once again. 

Jared had wanted this - wanted her - for so long since he had first scented her. The first time, he was in the local bar on a rare night out. He had caught her scent wafting over all the others, calling to his inner Alpha that had been dormant for many years. He followed his nose, intent on finding the source. As soon as he laid eyes on her, his heart stuttered. But she left before he could ever approach her.

The second time he saw her, she was locked in the drunk tank. He had reported for an overnight shift and was briefed on the persons in holding. That’s when he learned her name. He spent the entire night with a watchful eye, her scent driving him mad with want. 

Y/N’s second visit to the drunk tank was his third time seeing her, and they spent most of that time in friendly chatting. That’s when Jared began to wonder if he could ever have a chance with this stunning Omega that called to him. It was also the first time he wondered what demons had led her to drink and be locked up. That’s when he tried to rid himself of the idea of her as ever being his. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t shake her from his mind, her scent ingrained in him.

As he set her down in the bathroom and turned on the shower, Y/N began stripping her dirty and sweat-soaked clothes. When Jared turned back around, finally satisfied with the water temperature, Y/N was naked and smiling shyly. He couldn’t stop his eyes from roaming her nude body, finally able and allowed to view and appreciate every inch of her - and appreciate he did.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N,” he breathed heavily, removing his clothes as he watched her eyes devour him in turn. “My Omega.”

A shiver ran through Y/N’s body at Jared’s Alpha tone, laced with his desire for her. They both took their time appreciating each other's bodies. Y/N had never seen a man so fit and toned or a cock so large and - frankly - beautiful, which is something she never thought she’d say. 

As another wave of her heat ramped up, she trusted Jared to help her. Y/N’s mind was foggy, and her body focused only on her basic needs. She could barely stand on her own in the shower. She could smell Jared’s delicious scent all around her, already mingling with hers. His hands, large and warm, delicately cleansed and caressed her skin.

After showering, he dried her down, and she slipped on a silky robe that barely covered her ass but was lightweight and didn’t irritate her frazzled skin. Jared threw on his boxers and t-shirt, knowing she’d need him again soon and not wanting too many layers in their way.

He left her on the couch, searching her kitchen for something to feed them. He opted for eggs and toast, something easy to make and eat. As he gathered the needed items, he noted that there were bottles everywhere he turned. Some bottles were empty, some half full or waiting to be opened. He was more than worried and knew he’d have to ask her about it. Maybe he could help her.

Bringing the plates to the living room, Jared handed her one as he sat on the couch beside her. He observed her as they ate, more than happy that she liked it and ate it all. Without a word, he gathered their dishes and neatly placed them on the coffee table. He planned to wash them at some point, but he needed to confront her about the drinking finally.

“Y/N?” Jared began cautiously, grateful when she eagerly met his gaze. “I don’t want to tell you how to live your life or try to control you; I’m not that kind of Alpha,” he started, her brow furrowed as he continued. “It’s just…all the drinking, the bottles everywhere, ending up in the drunk tank. I’m worried and want to help if you let me.”

She dropped her gaze to her lap as she nodded her head. She had expected it to come up at some point. After all, it was a prominent part of her life lately, and she worried it was all Jared really knew about her from being locked up so much. 

Y/N could only feel safety and comfort from Jared, no judgment or anger. Their bond was new and raw, but she was grateful that she could feel him and knew it was okay to be honest. She met his eyes again and smiled reassuringly.

“For a while, it was the only way I could escape the pain, at least for a little while—mental, emotional, physical pain over my whole situation. I never wanted to be tied to a mate. I didn’t want to be matched to someone I didn’t love or know just to stay alive. I didn’t want to die or hurt myself;  I just wanted to escape. I don’t need to drink, and I never really enjoyed it either. I want to give it up.”

Jared had expected at least a small argument or fight, not immediate acceptance. He placed a hand on top of hers, needing to feel her and reassure her. She flashed him that soft smile again and squeezed his hand back. Now, he felt like she was the one comforting him.

“I mean it,” she insisted. “I fought against this whole thing, but now that we’re mated, I am happy and content. I’m happy it’s you, and I know being mated to you will heal the pain. My health and mood will improve,” She laughed to herself. “It feels so stupid that I fought against it so much. It’s better than I ever thought it could be to be mated to you.”

He couldn’t help it as he leaned in, cupping her cheek and kissing her deeply. To know that she genuinely wanted him as much as he wanted her, after everything and how she felt, she was more than just okay with him claiming her. She was happy; she wanted it, and he wanted her.

Y/N kissed him hungrily, pushing him back into the couch and crawling into his lap as she demanded more. Jared wrapped his arms around her, moaning as she ground her bare, wet folds against his clothed cock. He hastily undid the tie of her robe, brushing it off her shoulders and to the ground. When his hands found her warm flesh, he hummed in satisfaction.

She ground her hips into him as she devoured his mouth, desperate for her Alpha, her heat ramping up again, far from satiated. She ran her hands down his chest and whined at the t-shirt that obscured her from his flesh. Jared caught on quickly, breaking the kiss long enough to pull his shirt over his head and toss it aside. Her fingers trailed over his torso, exploring his flesh as she kissed him deep again.

Her grinding was riling him up quicker than he’d anticipated, her scent and neediness, the desperate sounds she was making, all colliding into a perfect storm that aroused him to no end. But he’d promised her that he’d mate her properly when they were home, and that’s precisely what he intended to do.

Scooping her into his arms, Jared stood and carried Y/N toward the bedroom, finding it hard to focus as she continued grinding against him and nibbling at the sensitive spots on his neck. 

“Naughty little Omega,” Jared playfully chastised as he slapped her ass. She gasped and ground against him harder. “Oh, you are naughty, aren’t you?”

Stepping into the room, he laid her on the bed and removed his boxers before he crawled over her with a smirk. 

“Oh, maybe we can play Cops and Robbers, and you can punish me, Padadeputy,” she teased with a sultry smirk. 

Jared growled and kissed her hard with teeth and tongue, “Next time,” he promised. “I have something else in mind,” he added as he pulled back and rolled her to her stomach. “Promised to claim you proper.”

She attempted to rise and present, but he placed a large hand on her lower back, keeping her flat and prone on the bed. He bent one of her knees, exposing her to him. Using his knees and thighs, he nudged her further until he could settle comfortably on top of her and between her thighs.

Y/N moaned as his weight settled on top of her, pressing her into the mattress. She was trapped beneath him, unable to move much in any way. But she wasn’t afraid. Instead, she willingly submitted to her strong and potent Alpha. 

Jared shifted his hips and slowly guided his cock into her tight and wet core. It felt like an eternity before he finally settled deep within her, moving his hips to nudge against her depths. Y/N moaned, her fingers clenched in the sheets. He was so deep, and she felt so incredibly full. 

While they had already mated, it was rushed and fevered, and she was so out of it that she didn’t remember much. Now, however, she could feel every little thing, which seemed deliciously overwhelming: from the emotions, the connection, and the sensations of him nestled inside and around her.

She squirmed desperately beneath him as much as she could. Jared nipped her shoulder, and she went still with a whine. He rewarded her by glacially pulling out and pressing in again just as slowly. She needed more and was growing ravenous, but he had other ideas.

Jared continued his slow and passionate rhythm, his hips rolling like gentle waves lapping at the shore. It felt incredible, and Y/N could feel every detail of his length as he speared her open again and again. But it wasn’t enough to take them anywhere. Instead, Jared held them in the realm of pleasure, near torture, with seemingly no end in sight. It was maddening and divine.

“Tell me how it feels,” Jared whispered as he kissed her neck and shoulders.

“Alpha.”

“Tell me,” he reiterated, nipping at her claim and making her moan.

“Feels big and deep,” she gasped, and another nip told her he wanted more. “Ugh! So thick and hot, splitting me open. Feel like you could break right through into my womb. So full,” she whined into the sheets.

Jared groaned and increased his pace, his hands exploring her body, his mouth tasting everywhere he could reach as he drove them both toward their ends. His body stilled as his knot popped, locking them together as his cum flooded her channel. He leaned in to renew his claim; even the bite was intentional and slow, and Jared savored the pop and burst as her skin broke anew. 

“You did so well, Omega,” Jared praised, shifting them to a spooning position as they waited for his knot to go down. “How are you feeling?” he asked, leaning on an elbow to look down at her.

Y/N met his eyes and marveled at the many colors present and the myriad of emotions reflected back at her. Her heart swelled, and she knew she already loved him. She never knew mating could feel like this like she had found a piece of herself she was missing. Jared was a better Alpha than she ever imagined an Alpha could be. All the pain and suffering was worth it just to find him.

“Lucky, Jared,” she smiled warmly. “I feel so damn lucky.”

FOREVERS:

@lyarr24

@hobby27

@kazsrm67

@maliburenee

@440mxs-wife

@writercole

@spnbaby-67

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@leigh70

@laycblack

@kr804573

RPF:

@smoothdogsgirl

[lightofraye]

Portrait Of A Woman

Yes, another version of this. Deal. 😆

I'm always changing and growing, revising my life and what I'm blogging about. I joke that I'm a gossip columnist (because I do refer to other celebrities besides Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles), but it's only to share my other interests.

So what are my interests? The purpose behind this blog?

Many things. I title it Ramblings Of A Writer for a reason. I write and boy, do I ramble!

I’ll also be redoing my masterlists to make it easier for folks to find certain posts. I won’t be redoing posts—no need to do that, but perhaps reposting information being redone. Like “Version 2 with new stuff” or better organized information and having those on the masterlists instead.

Let's begin with me:

Who am I?

My online nickname: Raye

Pronouns: She/her

Astrology: (Western) Pisces, (Eastern) Metal Monkey

Country: United States

I am anti (and I make no apologies):

Anti Danneel/Anti Elta

Anti Misha

Anti AAs

Anti Destiel

Anti Hellers

Anti Cockles

Anti Abuse

My ‘custom’ tags:

#Jensen Supportive (I believe I'm the originator)

#Music Choices by lightofraye

#lightofraye on abuse

I also frequently use #Jensen Concern, though I am not the originator (like I thought I was!).

What I’m reading:

Fictional: The Dresden Files, currently Battle Ground and Peace Talks

Non-fiction: The Body Keeps The Score

Where am I at with my writing:

BA Script: Judging by the math… 1/2 of the way through. Loving it! First draft!

Pre-plotting my horror/thriller

Vikings? VIKINGS!

So many more planned. Someone knock out my muse. 😅

What am I watching?

Burn Notice (finally getting the last season!)

Daredevil (again!)

Once Upon A Time

Supernatural (forever and ever, ahem)

The Good Place

A Discovery of Witches

About this blog:

I really, honest to gods, did not start this blog to be an anti. I know my anons would disagree with me and claim I always “hated” Danneel, but that just isn’t the truth. I came to Tumblr to find a new kind of social media as I was feeling soured by Facebook, disliked how Twitter had changed, escaped Livejournal years ago, not a fan of Reddit, and the “newer” social media sites weren’t my thing. Plus I’ve kept seeing hilarious screenshots from Tumblr on Facebook and decided to check it out!

I initially started by following pages about Supernatural, Sam and Dean Winchester, the actors Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles. I did not go seeking anti-Danneel posts; they more or less fell into my lap. When I started reading a few posts, something clicked in my mind, explained why I was struggling with how I felt about her. I kept analyzing her behavior for a long while, what she said, and thought maybe something was being seen by fans that wasn’t being seen by me.

The explanations made sense. I felt I could breathe again. That’s when I remembered the least recognized method of abuse: emotional and mental. That fit Danneel to a T. Especially the more I looked into what she’s said and wrote over the years and saw how Jensen behaved around her in videos and photos. Even when they were supposedly trying to push the “happy couple” narrative, it just did not look true. Especially given Jensen’s talent as an actor! If he couldn’t even fake being happy or in love with her….

So I’m an Anti-Danneel. I’m also Anti-Misha for his behavior over the years, towards Jared, towards Jensen, the lies he’s peddled and keeps peddling. (For instance, no, Castiel would not have ‘fucked’ Dean upon pulling him out of Hell. No, CW was not being homophobic.)

I am absolutely very pro-Jared and pro-Jensen. I know, I know…. “But Raye, you’ve written posts criticizing Jensen! How can you be pro-Jensen??”

My answer is a variation of this: “Because I care! I am not blind to the flaws of either men! I am wildly concerned about Jensen, about what seems—to me—as excessive drinking, ‘empty’ eyes, unhappy and stressed smiles.”

For the vast majority of the AAs, it seems I’m not pro-Jensen if I don’t see him as flawless, a god upon the perfect pedestal, the Ken doll That breaks my heart. He is flawed. He is imperfect. I see more than just the pretty mask. I want to see and know the man. He isn’t just a beautiful trophy for us to ogle.

He’s caught in a rock and a hard place and I acknowledge that hard. It’s just only the negativity is seen and not the love and support. 😕

What can I tell you about me?

I could say so much. I’m the third child of a family of four kids, and the only daughter. (So that was fun.) I’m a gamer, read comics (still read a few, such as ElfQuest), got into reading fantasy books (Dragonlance’s War of the Lance was my first!), have a massive interest in psychology, in wanting to understand the human mind. I’m fluent in two languages—English and American Sign Language.

Ah, that last one might surprise some folks. No, I am not deaf—but my parents, two of my three brothers, and everyone on my mother’s side of the family are. I half-joke that my first language is ASL, not speaking with a voice. It’s not a joke though; it’s more or less accurate.

I’m a writer. I’m working on several screenplays, have plans for novels, dabble in poetry. I’m an amateur artist—have sketched with pencil and Photoshop. I haven’t done so in a while, but I love art. I do a lot under the creative umbrella, and most of it is as an amateur—photography, wishing to learn pottery, and so forth.

I’m a mother. I’m divorced (happily so, trust me). I have born children of my body and I have children of my heart. I have suffered loss deeply profound that I wish people would talk more about so we all realize we aren’t as alone as we fear.

I’m an advocate for better, stronger laws against abuse, of the protection and services for survivors. Largely because I’m a survivor, but also because I give a damn about people. I’ve experienced it all, starting from childhood to my (thankfully) now-ex-husband. I am hoping to start a series of reels explaining the red flags of abuse, how to recognize them, how to get out if you are in an abusive situation, and what organizations exist to contact for help (if any do exist). Keep an eye out for those when I start posting them!

A link to the ever-in-progress masterlist.

First masterlist, largely anti Danneel posts. (My thorough anti Danneel post, highly recommend reading it.) Second masterlist, more anti Danneel. Third masterlist, assorted posts. The links will be defunct due to changing my Tumblr name. So just switch out rrahuntersblog to lightofraye and it'll work. I'm reworking those too! Bear with me! My first About Me. My second About Me Redux.

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart - Chapter 11

Pairing- ex!Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 4,674

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N-II'm interested to see what you all think about this one. Jensen is wrapping up his time in Toronto, and this brings a visitor to Austin. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

The nice thing about your first day on Walker?  It was everyone’s first day.  When you joined Supernatural, they had already been working together for a couple seasons.  You were the new kid who had to figure out where she fit in on her brother's playground.   

There were a few scenes with the whole Walker family, so you had a chance between takes and set ups to get to know your new cast mates.  You and Keegan, hit it off.  During one of the breaks, you can’t help but ask what it was like working on Pretty Little Liars.  He laughs at that.

“Dude, that show was my guilty pleasure.  Please?” you plead.  “Did you know the ‘A’ secrets ahead of time?  What were the girls like?”

“You do know the show wrapped right?  Like a few years ago.”

“Yes, I saw the finale.  It was nuts.”

“It was,” he laughs again.

“Please Toby won’t you share?” you ask with a laugh.

Shaking his head at your use of his PLL character’s name he responds, “maybe another time when I don’t have to be Liam in a few minutes.”

He takes some pictures and behind the scenes videos and posts them on his Instagram, announcing the first day of filming, tagging you, Jared and a few other cast mates.

The rest of the work week goes by very quickly.  Before you know it, it’s Saturday and you are loading up your car and Jared’s truck with the rest of your things.  The four of you make the trip over to your new place.  You and Jared start to unload his truck while Gen and Tom watch,  stepping away from the  truck a box is taken out of your hand, shocking you.  Turning you see Jeff holding it with a smile.

“Surprise.  Couldn’t let that one over there take all the credit for helping you.  Plus, I have to know where I can find my little sister too.”

You laugh at that, “Thanks, I appreciate the help.  Ulterior motivated, but still help.”  Grabbing another box you lead them all upstairs to your new apartment.  

Unlocking the door, you let them all in before following.  You don't notice the look Jared and Jeff share.  Gen bites her bottom lip as she looks around before raising her eyebrows at Jared.  

“It’s small in here,” Tom is the first to speak.

‘Yeah, but it’s just me, so it’s alright,” you tell him.

“It’s cute,” Gen finally speaks up.

Jared doesn’t want her carrying anything, so she and Tom stay in the apartment and she begins opening some of the boxes of clothes while the three of you carry in the rest.  It doesn’t take long to get everything inside.  Some of your things are still at still stored at your brother's place.

“How long of a lease did you sign?” Jeff carefully asks once everything is unloaded..

“It was only available for four months.”

“Good,” he answers without thinking. “To know, so you won’t be able to hide from us,” he quickly finishes

“I don’t think you could hide from anything in here,” Jared mumbles, but you don’t hear him.

You had gone to help Gen in the bedroom area and come back to your two brothers in the kitchen.  It looks even smaller than before with them standing in it.  You finally get everyone to clear out, and you are alone for your first night in your new place. 

It was a restless night; it will take some time to get used to a new place, especially one with so many outside noises.  There is a text from Jared asking how your first night went, and you respond before walking to the kitchen.   The empty cupboards and fridge dictate your plans after a shower.  Heading to the grocery store, you grab what you need to get you through the week. 

The following week has you scheduled for four days of filming.  You spend your off days in your apartment, or at the onsite gym and pool.  Gen and Tom stop by on Tuesday, your nephew was having a hard time not seeing you as frequently as he had become used to.  He asked for a snack, but wasn’t happy with what was in your cupboard. Protein bars just aren’t his thing apparently.  On Thursday you receive a text from Kenzie.

Mack-Hey lady!  How are you doing?  I’ll be in Austin this weekend, are you free Sunday?

You- Hi Kenz, I don’t know of anything going on.

Mack- Great! Are you up for grabbing lunch or shopping? Something?

You-Yeah, sure.  Whatever you feel like.

You haven’t talked to her since your birthday.  You’d be lying if you said you weren’t nervous about seeing her now that you and Jensen were no longer together.  She had to know by now right?

Tom comes to set with Gen on Friday, he walks over and hands you a bag when you finish filming your scene.  

“Thanks bud, what’s this?”

“It’s for your new home.”

You open it up and find a big box of goldfish crackers inside.

“Oh, uh..thanks Tom.”

“Dad says Unca Jensen comes home this weekend.  Now you have something for him, not those yucky bars.”

“Great.  Thanks.”

Gen gives you a side hug as he runs to his dad.  “Sorry, we haven’t explained the break up to him yet.”

“That’s alright.”

Jared, carrying Tom over his shoulder, makes his way over. “Hey, we’re doing tacos tonight.  Do you want to come over for dinner?”

“Thanks, but I have plans tonight.”

“Plans? You never have plans.  What are they?” your brother pushes.

“None of our business,” Gen answers while pushing him away.  “We’ll see you later, Y/N.”

So your plans might have been watching movies with a bag of popcorn on the couch, but they were still plans right?  You could handle being on your own again just fine.

Up in Toronto, Jensen is going through his apartment.  Checking that he has everything all packed up. Filming wrapped the day before, there is a get together tonight and then he is out of here tomorrow.  A majority of his things were shipped out earlier in the week.  He just has two suitcases and a carry on going back with him tomorrow. The benefit of renting a fully furnished place, there isn’t as much to take or bring back. 

Not finding anything he missed, he sits down on the couch next to his carryon.  Pulling open the front pocket he removes the black box he has looked at every night since he found it.  In a way it has become a reminder of his failures.  Just over a month ago he would have been excited to be going back to Austin and being with his girl.  Now he was just going back to Austin.

Jensen is standing next to one of the bars set up around the room that evening, when Eric finds him.  

“How are you doing?” his friend asks.

“Alright, you?”

“I’m fine, but I’m not the one with problems at home.  Ya buy your knee pads yet?”

“You’re hilarious, Eric.  I’m not sure what’s going to happen there.”

The two talk for a bit before Eric moves on to make his rounds among the cast and crew. He talks with Karl and Chase, before they move on to other groups.  Claudia keeps seeming to pop up at his side, but he isn’t up to talking much with her.  When Jensen feels he has been there for a suitable amount of time, he says his farewells.

He crashes on the couch that night, his bed already stripped.  The next morning comes too soon as he quickly showers and throws on travel clothes and a hat to head to the airport and his early morning flight.  

Thankfully, there aren’t too many people at the airport at 5 am, and he is able to get through check-in and security without too much of a wait.  Finding a coffee is the first thing on his list once he’s past security.  Taking a muffin with him, he slowly makes his way down to the terminal to wait for the flight to board.  The closer it gets to take off the more the seats fill up.  He pulls the baseball cap down a little lower to try and avoid being recognized.  

The three and half hour flight is a rougher one, good thing he’s gotten used to flying over the years.  He is surprised to see Mackenzie waiting for him after he grabs his luggage, he had been planning on just grabbing a taxi to drop him off a few houses down from his.  She walks over to give him a hug and grabs the handle of one of his three bags.

“Hey, how was the flight?”

“Awful.  What are you doing here?”

“Good to see you too, brother dear.”

“I just wasn’t expecting you.”

“Mom told me you were flying in, and gave me the flight details.  I didn’t think you had anyone else picking you up.”

“Yeah, not this time.”  Neither one brings up that it should have been you there instead.

The rest of the walk to the car is a quiet one, once it’s loaded they are off to his place.  Before she can start asking questions, he turns the radio up to discourage conversation.  Luckily, she lets it go, he just doesn’t know the reason she didn’t put up a fight. Once Kenzie pulls into his  driveway she gets out and grabs another bag from the backseat, along with one of Jensen’s.  He gives her a questioning look when he notices it while walking to the front door.

“I’m crashing here tonight, I need some catch up time.  Figured, I could help make sure the house was in order before I left.”

“Did mom just mention that I was coming home, or she send you down?”

She just smiles and continues past him to the door.  “Are you going to come open this or what?”

“This why you didn’t push to talk in the car?  You knew you weren’t just going to drop me off.”

“Whatever would I push you to talk about?” she questions with a smirk.

With a shake of his head, Jensen unlocks the door and heads inside to shut off the alarm. He sets his bags by the stairs and heads to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen. He walks past the counter, pauses and turns back to look at it.  Sitting near the edge is a house key and a garage remote, the ones he gave you.  He stares at them a moment before continuing to the fridge, but instead of pulling out a water he walks out of the kitchen with a beer.

“Little early for that, don’t you think?” his sister questions.

“It’s almost noon in Toronto right now,” he replies as he sits down on the couch.

“You want to talk about it?” She asks, sitting across from him.

“Toronto’s a nice place, but I’ve been there before.”

“I didn’t mean the city, Jay.”

“The cast? The show?  They were both great, but mom is so not allowed to watch.”

“Jensen, I was referring to Y/N and you know it.”

He’s quiet before replying to Mack, “next topic.”

“Jay, what happened?” she softly pushes.  “When you were home Father’s Day weekend, you said everything was good.”

“Why did no one tell me it was Father’s Day weekend?” He tries to change the subject.

“I guess we thought you knew, and would be home that weekend for Y/N’s birthday anyway.”

He looks at his sister, “You knew it was her birthday?”

“Mom and I knew it was on Saturday, yes.”

“No one said anything.  But you both asked if I saw her, you could have said why.”

“Really?  We both thought you knew,  you were always on top of those things especially with Y/N.  When you said you were busy Saturday, we figured it was with her.  When we talked to Y/N that day, she was here waiting for you to come home.  She told mom she thought you saying you had meetings was to surprise her.  Not one of us ever expected you to forget her birthday.”

Hearing this, Jensen felt even worse than before about forgetting your birthday.

“What happened?”

Hanging his head with a sigh, he shrugs.  “I don’t really know.  I guess time went faster than I thought.  I knew filming was coming to an end in a few weeks, but I still didn’t put it together that it was already into June.  Not until I was back on set the next week.”  

“Did you talk to her about it?”

“I meant to.  Guess I had it in my head that I did, but I found her gift in my safe last week.  I never gave it to her.”

“Did she really come up to Toronto to break up with you, like that chick said in the interview?”

He looks up in confusion, before it dawns on him. “You mean Claudia?  I don’t know how she even found out about it.  Jared said he and Gen were hoping things would be better if she came up and saw me, so I guess breaking up wasn’t her intent when she arrived.”

“So something happened when she was there?”

“I guess.”

“Care to elaborate?  Something tells me that’s a big part of the story.”

He gives her a brief recap of that weekend, he had work things, she was on her own.  The group went out for dinner and Kripke ran into her and invited her along.  “I might have been upset about that, and maybe didn’t handle it in the right way,” he finishes up.

“What’s not the right way?”

“I might have pushed her to leave the restaurant.”

“Jensen, you didn’t.  You friggin idiot.”

He nods, “when I got back to the apartment her bag was packed and she was waiting for me.  She said,” he pauses as he wills the tears forming away, “that she couldn’t do whatever us was, didn’t even know what we were anymore.  That she wasn’t important to me.  My life was too busy and she didn’t fit in it anymore.”

“What did you say when she said this?”

“That I didn’t know what she was talking about, and everything I do is for the two of us.”  In a quieter voice he says, “might have told her to be out of the house before I got back too.”

Mack is quiet as she takes in everything he said.  

Jensen continues before she can speak.  “Talked to Jare at the last convention.  He said she’s been hurting for a while, because of how things were.  I never saw it.”

“Wow.  One, you’re an ass.  Two, you didn’t have any inkling she was feeling any of that?  Had she mentioned anything before when you guys talked?”

He hangs his head once again, “That was the other thing they both said, we didn’t talk anymore.”

“Is that true?”

He just shrugs, looking around the room.  His eyes settle on the dvd laying by the tv.  It was the last one you two had watched together.  

“I just always thought you two would be forever,” Mack comments. 

“Me too, already bought the ring.”

“You did?” 

He just nods.

“Are you going to try and fix things?” 

“She deserves better,” he finally mumbles.

Mackenzie doesn’t get anything else out of him.  Leaving him alone for a bit, she works on dusting and vacuuming before coming back to try and get him to go to the grocery store with her, but he won’t leave the couch.  His bags stay by the stairs, and she notices he is on his third beer before she leaves for the store.

Returning an hour later, he is still in the same spot.  The third bottle of beer was the last one in the house, so at least he didn't have anything more to drink while she was gone.  The only thing different is the jar of peanut butter and spoon sitting in front of him.

“Alright, time to take your luggage upstairs.  Come on, let’s move.”

She finally gets him upstairs, and starts on a light dinner while he’s busy.  The rest of the evening is a quiet one.  Mack isn’t sure if she should be surprised or not over how bad he is taking the breakup.  She can’t help but wonder what kind of shape you are going to be in tomorrow.

When your alarm goes off Sunday, it takes a moment for you to realize why you even set it.  Oh yeah, shopping and lunch with Kenzie.  Dragging yourself out of bed you make your way to the bathroom to get ready. 

A text comes through while you are drying your hair.

Mack-I’m almost ready, do you want me to swing by and pick you up?

You- You don’t have to do that.

Mack- I want to, that we can spend more time together.

You- If you’re sure.

After entering your new address you hit send and quickly finish your hair and makeup.  As you are making sure you have everything you need in your purse, there is a knock at the door.  Opening it up, you find a smiling Mackenzie on the other side.  She gives you a hug before walking in and looking around.

“This is…um.  Where’s the rest of it?” she finally asks.

“Good to see you too, Kenz.”

“It’s always good to see you, Y/N.  But seriously, is there more to this place?  I’m standing in the living room and so are your kitchen and bedroom.”

“It’s not that bad,” you defend.  “There’s a pool and a gym that I have access to.”

“Great.”

“I was just checking my purse, then I’m ready.”

Throwing the apartment keys in your bag after locking the door you follow Kenzie out to the car.  She doesn’t ask any questions as she drives to Barton Creek Square, just talks about what she has been up to lately.  After she parks at the JCPenny’s entrance the two of you get out and head inside.  

Walking through the department store, you browse the first floor before riding the escalator to the second.  Mackenzie is looking through the toddler clothes for her nephew Levi, while you find yourself wondering over to the baby department.  You don’t hear her walk over to you, as you are looking through the bottom shelf.  Noticing the feet beside you, you look up at her sad face.

“What’s wrong?” you question, standing up.

She just shakes her head.

“I’ve known you too long for that, what’s up?”

“It’s just, I didn’t used to think it would be too much longer and I would be picking up these for your and Jay’s baby.  I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up, I just...”

A sad smile spreads over your face, “There have been a few that have caught my eye, where I’ve thought Jens would love this one.  I get it.  Let’s get out of here.”

After both of you pay for the items you picked up, you walk out into the mall’s second story.   Checking out the shops as you pass, nothing catches your eye before you reach the center of the mall. 

Deciding to walk toward the end with Dillard's first, you turn to the right.  Browsing through a few stores, you once again make your way to the middle and head down to the other end.

“California Pizza Kitchen, was down this way right?” Mack asks.

“Yeah, it is.”

“Want to grab lunch?”

“Sure.”

You walk down one side and look through those stores before coming back up the other aisle.  You don’t know who you forgot about the store right next door to the restaurant.

Coming up to the Dallas Cowboys Pro Shop, you stop.  Kenzie is almost to the restaurant when she realizes you aren’t with her.  Turning around she sees you staring into the previous shop.

“Did you want to go in there first?”

“No, no, I’m good.”  With one last look you make your way over to the restaurant.

As you order drinks and food, Kenzie can pick up on a dip in your mood, just like in JCPenny’s.

“What’s on your mind, and before you say nothing, remember I know you too.”

Giving her a small smile, you look down at the table as you answer.  “I don’t think I’ve made a trip here where I haven’t gone to the Pro Shop and picked something up for Jensen.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“The store?”

She gives you a bitch face, “Oh my god you are as bad as my brother!”

You give her a tight smile and look around the crowded restaurant. “Not here.”

Mack understands what you mean, “Alright, I’ll let it go for now.”

She asks about Walker, and the Netflix mini series that wrapped up.  You ask how Jeremy, her parents, and brother’s family are.  Jensen used to keep you up on all of that.  Conversation died down when the pizza and bread arrived.  The leftovers are boxed up when the two of you are finished and put in a bag to go. 

Having walked the second floor of the mall, you take the escalator down to the first floor to check out those stores.  After browsing Bath and Body Works new scents you manage to leave that store empty handed.  A new pair of workout shoes, and some workout pants are all that catch your attention.  It was obvious to Kenzie, your heart and mind just aren’t into this shopping trip. After a quick stop at the Cheesecake Factory for dessert to go and Soul Popped for some popcorn, the two of you are on your way back to your place. 

Jensen receives a call from Jared, while Kenzie is out doing whatever it was she had to do this afternoon.

“Hey man.”

“Hey Jare.”

“Um, So are you back in town?”

“Yeah, got back last night.”

“That’s…that’s good.”

“Yeah.”

There was a little bit of awkward silence the two of them didn’t usually have.  It seems like they aren’t really sure where their friendship stands.

“Well, Tom keeps asking about you, and I told him I would call and see if you wanted to come over and hang by the pool?”

Jensen bites down on his lip as he thinks over the invitation.  It used to be a no brainer, but after the conversation with his sister yesterday he really doesn’t think he can face Y/N right now.

“I miss my little buddy, but I don’t know if today will work.  Kenzie’s in town today.  She had something to go out and do, but I expect her back anytime and I don’t know what she has planned.”

“Oh, alright.  Have a nice time with your sister.”

“Thanks.  Maybe we can take him down to the park he likes one day this week?”  Jensen throws his head back, usually it’s you taking Tom out with him.

“Sure, I’ll check my and Gen’s filming schedule for this week and see what we have going on.”

“Sounds good.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later then Jackles.  Have a good one.”

“Thanks Jpad.  See ya.”

Mack pulls into the empty parking spot near your apartment and hops out.  She grabs the leftovers from lunch while you carry the cheesecake and your purchases.  You set the shopping bag on your bed and take the dessert to the kitchen where she is already putting the pizza in the fridge.  She starts opening the few cupboards looking for plates and utensils for the cheesecake.  You help her out before you both move over to the couch.

“Alright now are you ready to talk about it?  And if you even think about saying, ‘about what,’ I’m going to scream.”

Setting the barely touched desert down, you sit back on the couch and look at your friend.  “I guess I just don’t fit in his life anymore.  I think he’s ready to move on to his new co-star anyway.”

“For what it’s worth, I think my brother is a major idiot, but he hasn’t moved on to anyone else.” 

“I was… was just convenient when we were working together in Vancouver.  He never had time to talk anymore.  I had to call him, I think he’s called me once in the last few months.  I went to see him, and other things came up that were more important than spending time together.”  You shrug not sure what else to say.  

“What could have been more important than seeing you?” she questions.

“Going out with his castmates for drinks or golfing.”

“Shit, I’m sorry for all that.  I really am.  Mom and I were so surprised to hear you two broke up.”

You just nod your head. “I wasn’t sure what he’d tell you.”

“We heard from the interview.  Honestly, he has barely talked to any of us lately either.”

“Oh, so you heard I went up there just to break up with him.  That’s not how it happened.”

“I know.”

You stop and stare at her.

“He talked to me a little bit last night about Toronto, and what happened that weekend.  Eventually he told me what he did and what happened.  I don’t blame you at all.”

“Thanks.” 

You can’t help the tears that begin to flow.  Kenzie puts down her plate and scoots closer to wrap you in a big hug.

“I really thought he was it for me, you know,” you manage to get out between sobs.

“I know, I know, honey,” Kenzie squeezes you tighter and curses out her brother in her head.  

When you finally calm down she moves back.  You get up to go wash your face.  She has the television on Hallmark when you return.  The two of you watch the Christmas in July movie in silence while you pick at your cheesecake.

“Okay, but what is the deal with this place?” she finally asks.

You look around and shrug.  “It came fully furnished.  I sold all my furniture when I moved to Texas and in with your brother.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, his house was set.  We didn’t need the hassle of moving more than my clothes and personal items.”

“So that’s why you got this place?”

“Yeah.  And it didn’t need a long term contract.”

“So are you still looking for another place?”

Biting your lip you study the blonde in front of you.  “Can you keep this to yourself?”

“Of course.”

“I’m thinking of moving back to L.A. at the end of the year.”

“What! Why?”

“Because everything here reminds me of your brother.  I just can’t handle being reminded of him all the time.  Being with Jensen was the reason I moved here in the first place.”

“What about Walker?”

“I think I’m going to see if they can scale back how often my character is on.  Maybe be just a guest star or something.”

“Oh wow.”   A minute later she softly asks, “Do you still love him?”

Closing your eyes and shaking your head you almost whisper “I don’t want to.  I shouldn’t, he’s probably already moving on.  I just can’t get that through to my heart.”

There isn’t much more said after that.  The movie neither of you have been paying attention to, finishes, and Kenzie gets up to leave.  She gives you a big hug before descending the steps.

“Call me if you ever need anything.  I’m still here for you, so are my parents.  Love ya girl!” she calls out.

“Thanks Mack.  Same goes for you.  Love you, drive safe!”  You watch her pull out before heading back inside.  Grabbing a bag of popcorn you collapse down on the couch with your Hallmark movies for company.  When the heroine eventually finds her Mr. Right, you can’t help the tears that fall thinking how you lost yours.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 12

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[littlebeelife]

Daily J2 Breakdown

Day 46

Tom Welling to Jared and Jensen: "You guys, the show is you guys together.”

Smallville @ 20: Tom Welling Opens Up About Nixed Season 1 Suit-Up, Batman Ban and Our 'Best CW Show' Tourney

By Matt Webb Mitovich / October 17 2021, 7:30 AM PDT

As Smallville marks a full 20 years since its premiere, Tom Welling says that he now is in a “much happier” place when it comes to his relationship with the superhero origin series.

Having struggled back in the day with his responsibility as the lead of the popular WB-turned-CW series (and the demands put on him), “As time goes on, I am enjoying Smallville more,” Welling shared in a new TVLine Q&A pegged to this Tuesday’s release of Smallville: The Complete Series on Blu-ray for the first time ever. “I wish I could go back [to my 2001 self] and just say, ‘Take a beat, and appreciate this.'”

In the interview below, Welling also revisits the not-so-super limitations Smallville contended with at the time, reflects on how the series set an example for the eventual Arrowverse, and he has a thing or two to say about how TVLine’s “Best CW Show Ever” tournament played out.

TVLINE | I don’t know if you’ve heard, but TVLine recently conducted a bracket tournament to determine “The Best CW Show Ever”….

I didn’t get the invite.

TVLINE | Readers chose 32 shows to send into a bracket tournament, and Smallville beat One Tree Hill to get into the Final Four—

Thank God.

TVLINE | In the Final Four, Supernatural beat Arrow, and Smallville beat Vampire Diaries.

F–k yeah.

TVLINE | The final was then Supernatural against Smallville. There was lots of drama, lots of voting, and…. Supernatural won, 77 percent to 23 percent.

Yeah, I can kind of…. Unfortunately, I can kind of see that. Is it because it lasted longer?

TVLINE | Could be. You guys had a good run, though — 10 years versus 15.

Yeah. I mean, we were more watchable. [Laughs] No, I love those guys, they’re buddies of mine. I like the way that [tournament] trickled down, though. It made a lot of sense. Especially with, like, [Smallville against] One Tree Hill and Vampire Diaries? Like, come on.

TVLINE | When Supernatural rolled around, did you get a sense that it was going to have some legs?

You know what, I did — probably more than I did about Smallville, to be honest. Because with Smallville, I was in it. I was trying to tread water every minute, every day, trying to keep it going. Nobody tells you that you’re going to be successful, even when you are successful. No one tells you that you’re going to be there for a long period of time, but knowing Jared [Padalecki] and Jensen [Ackles] and then watching Supernatural, from the outset I could see where the two of them made that show. And there was a point in that show where they started separating, and I was like, “You guys, the show is you guys together.” Like, that’s what it is.

It was obviously a different show than Smallville, but you’re right, when I saw Supernatural, I was like, this show’s going to work. I could never look at Smallville that way, only because maybe I didn’t want to let myself feel that way, perhaps. I didn’t want to, like, get comfortable.

-

The whole interview can be found here.

[hils79]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Ooh, this is fun. Gosh now I have to choose 5 of my children.

Okay, let's see. I'm going to try and pick some older ones too even though I've improved as a writer as I've gone along. Otherwise it's all going to be DMBJ fics.

Juxtaposition (DMBJ, Wang Pangzi/Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling) Wu Xie doesn't think life can get much better than this. He gets to use his architecture degree to design buildings for a living and he gets to work with the love of his life who helps make his designs a reality. He's certainly not going to let something small like an attempted mugging disrupt his world. The mysterious man who saved him, on the other hand… This fic is still the one I am most proud of, for the sheer length and the fact that it's an AU which I don't normally write. It's not even close to being my most popular DMBJ fic but it's the one I love the most

And There's That Pesky Thing Called Reality (Supernatural RPF AU, Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles) Jared wishes he had the life of Sam and Dean Winchester but unfortunately they are fictional characters in a series of books. Instead he's stuck working at the library with only his imagination for company. When he breaks his leg in an accident his life goes from mundane to just plain boring, until he finds himself in posession of a computer. Pretty soon he's fully immersed in the crazy world of Supernatural fandom. It's just lucky for him he has resident BNF Jensen to hold his hand through it all. Now if they could just get over the fact that Jared thinks Jensen is a girl everything would be awesome. This fic has not dated well but if you want a time capsule of what online fandom was like in 2010 then this is it. I had a lot of fun writing this one.

Unexpected (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy/Spike) Set some time after Fool For Love. Buffy finds help in a surprising place. This is the first fic I ever published, so if you read it keep that in mind. It's definitely not good but it's important to me because it set me off on my fic journey. And, you know, props to teen!Hils for diving straight in and posting a 15k fic instead of starting with something short

Staring Into Open Flame (Check Please, Alexei Mashkov/Kent Parson) Never let it be said that Kent Parson ever does what he should. Once again my rarepair loving brain took over and gave me this little fic. I really enjoyed writing Kent. He's a very complex dude and it was fun to explore that a little.

Lost and Found (Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow/James Norrington) Drowning didn’t feel as bad as he expected it to. His lungs burned for a moment or two and then he merely felt warm and sleepy, the way he had when his mother used to rock him to sleep. The world slowly faded around him until there was only darkness Peace at last. I'm quite proud of this one because I wrote it not long after the first PotC movie came out and having Norrington washed up and depressed pre-dated how he was in Dead Man's Chest by quite a bit. Yep, Disney stole my idea (kidding)

[dr-maxwell-hemaoncol]

PINNED!

ooc: hello! welcome to my house oc dr gavin maxwell's askblog!! underneath the read more will be basic information one would need to read to understand him better, plus a few visual references :p!

this acct is run by @worldrusher ! i follow and interact from there as well!!

note that i'm not a doctor or knowledgeable on medical things. i may get things wrong! correct me if i do!!

rules!!

- no crazy nsfw things. please. i may be 18, but i rather not talk about that stuff. sexual jokes are fine but nothing too extreme, please

- don't be an ass? or ableist or homophobic etc.. i don't want to deal with nonsense negativity on a silly askblog.

- if you want to pretend to be wilson (you'll see why under read more) that's okay, but only on anon. i won't be pushing this element of maxwell on any preexisting wilson askblogs either

tags!!

- # blood based inquiries: answering asks!

- # discussing life: non-ask rp posts!

- # turp speaks: mod posting!

that's all the basics! time for the real character info 😎 ⬇️

☆☆☆

while this may be a standalone oc blog, maxwell is actually involved in a house md oc universe that me and my bestie made. i don't intend to make him get involved with these askblog shenanigans, so i'll be breaking maxwell off of it for the purpose of this blog!!

basics!

dr gavin maxwell, md works at princeton plainsboro teaching hospital as a hematology oncologist (simply put, he's a blood cancer doc). he's 30-something years old and has been at the hospital for an unspecified amount of time (aka idk yet). he attended suny upstate medical university for his doctor things 👍!!

maxwell is scottish. he moved from scotland to new jersey in his teens and masks his accent heavily; you can only hear it if you listen close OR when hes displaying strong emotions of any time. many people are under the perception that he's american and he's perfectly okay with that. when he's especially frustrated or just alone in a room, he'll speak scots to himself. for funsies. i'm not going to attempt to translate things he says into scots because i don't speak it, plus it wouldn't make sense if he's not actually Ever talking to himself because all posts are public.

this is something no one but me cares about, but. he attended high school in the relatively same area as ppth. he was in band and marched tenor drums during marching season but was able to avoid concert band. 😁

the woke mob...

he is a trans man, gay, and uses exclusively he/him. he recieved top surgery after working at ppth for a while, and wilson helps him with tshots when at work (an arrangement made by him, wilson, and cuddy).

maxwell is autistic and has anxiety. (he's played by an autistic + anxious [?] mod, btw!) due to his autism (and probably anxiety too), he tends to be very direct, dull, and deadpan to people he does not know well, leading some people to believe he's just a dick. he has a resting pissed off face! when he's close to someone, though, he's much more comfortable showing his emotion externally and being more playful. he's taught himself how to mask to be more expressive and emotional around patients, though. he learned that the hard way...

romantical 💞

in our ocverse lore, he ends up in a relationship with wilson (hilson on the side with other oc thing; long story short polyamory is cool) after a long while of pining and house-induced angst. you know how he is. they are a healthy relationship, believe me; they're very sweet and domestic together! when maxwell is around wilson, he's beyond comfortable showing emotions and the like. i'm the #1 wilswell shipper. because of this, i welcome romantic asks towards maxwell via "wilson" on anon. i won't be attempting to interact romantically with any wilson accounts unless they say it's okay.

faceclaiming!

despite him being mid-30s, his face claim is young jared padalecki. think...giImore girIs. he technically obviously doesn't look THAT young, but he's also my default oc faceclaim. no i will not explain. he obviously dresses professionally (button up, tie, lab coat, slacks, dress shoes) but there's not going to be photos like that of young jarpad. so.

if you have any more questions about maxwell's lore, feel free to dm me or send asks! (psst, and if anyone's interested, fanart is greatly appreciated!)

[bisexualmultifandommess]

It’s my boy Ryan!!!

As we know our boy is bisexual

He’s also autistic but that’s another thing.

He probably realised he liked boys as well as girls when he was like 12 or 13. He developed a small crush on this boy at school who wore denim and leather type jackets and he thought he was so cool. He never revealed anything though because he was too shy and didn’t get along with others.

He didn’t come out until he and his sister were living with their grandparents because while living with their mum he didn’t feel safe enough to reveal that side of him. He was still a little nervous when coming out to his grandparents but he knew that they loved him no matter what.

The first person outside of his family that he came out to was Chris who reassured Ryan that he supported him and he was always here to talk. That and Chris’s support about his school and home life is why Ryan trusts him so much.

He has a few pride pins that he sticks on his jackets or bags. He also has a few pride stickers that Sarah bought him that he likes to stick on his phone case or laptop case.

I think his bi awakening was Sam Winchester in Supernatural (he enjoys supernatural and paranormal things plus Jared Padalecki was one of my big crushes as a kid so I’m including him because I love him)

He like everybody else definitely had a tiny attraction to Nick when he first met him. I just think Nick is the type who attracts a lot of people whether it’s for a long time or just a short crush. Ryan takes one look at him and is like damn he’s good looking.

His attraction to Nick doesn’t last long though because he eventually starts developing feelings for Dylan. He doesn’t like to admit it but he definitely loves those puns and jokes.

One time Jacob after finding out asked Ryan what his type is and then jokingly asked him if he was. Ryan can’t help being blunt and just said no in the most dead pan voice. Nick, Dylan and Kaitlyn who heard all laughed so hard they cried. Ryan was so confused.

All of the campers are supportive of him and Dylan’s sexualities (all the counsellors are queer tbh)

I think he had a non serious relationship with a guy before coming to camp that year due to him saying “Not exactly” to Dylan when he asks if he has a girlfriend but he’d not been feeling the relationship so broke up with him before going to camp but felt conflicted about it but he realised while at camp that he prefers Dylan’s company and has a stronger connection to Dylan.

Sarah definitely is that little sister that isn’t afraid to tease him. She probably says he’s ‘bi himself’ when he’s single and he just rolls his eyes but smiles because it’s just a little fun because she supports him and is only joking.

I think while he is attracted to both he leans more towards men.

He listens to some Queer artists.

I 100% believe that he watched Heartstopper because Dylan asked him to and he actually got really emotional over Nick’s story. He also hates Ben and Harry with a passion and is a Tori stan because he relates to her a bit.

He sometimes struggles with expressing his emotions and being open about his relationships due to his past experiences and trauma from when he was a kid so the first time he really opens up to Dylan and let’s him in is a big moment for him.

The first moment he refers to Dylan as his boyfriend to someone else he feels really content with it. Dylan is absolutely ecstatic but tries to not to get too excited because he doesn’t want to overwhelm him.

If they got married I think they’d either use both last names and hyphenate or he’d take Dylan’s. I think this because I think he’d have complicated feelings over his last name due to his relationship with his mum but also likes his last name because of its connections to his grandparents and sister. He’d be conflicted about it but Dylan would support any decision.

Him and Dylan go on double dates with Nick and Abi or Max and Laura sometimes.

They end up having a daughter when they’re older.

[princesskitty5]

Am I dreaming?

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x Female Reader

Warnings: Smut, Cheating

Word count: 3,576

Summary: You meet Jared at a convention but the innocent photo ops turn steamy

This is purley fiction based on the comic con Jared recently attended in England. This fiction is not meant to be harmful or offensive to Genevieve as I think she’s a sweetheart and they are a good match!  

The sunshine shinning through my bedroom curtains awoke me, yawning with a stretch of my arms above my head and a straightening of my legs a smile spread across my face. Today was the day. The day I meet Jared Padalecki, living in the uk and only being 21 meant I’ve never got to meet him before as times he’s came down before to the uk I didn’t really know about him. I have been watching supernatural since I was 14 but today is the day I finally see him and have his arms around me! Excited is definitely an understatement. Sitting myself up in bed I check my phone seeing it is just gone 7:30, with excitement I climb out of my bed and open my light purple curtains ready for what today has in store for me. My outfit for the day was already picked out, being a black thin strap dress with small cherries on it, the back also was made up of a thin strap showing most of my back to just above my ass.

My shoes are a pair of black wedged sandals with stapes going around the ankles, with a small black cardigan incase I get cold. 

My outfit was not exactly con appropriate due to all the standing I will have to do but I wanted to stand out from the crowd and hopefully catch his attention, I know wishful thinking. I know he has I wife and I have nothing against her, she’s beautiful and they have such cute kids but I mean can you blame a girl for trying? I have had a crush on this guy for years he’s such a stud if I get my chance hell yeah I’m taking it.

I head into my bathroom to brush my teeth and comb my hair then head straight into my kitchen for breakfast, I live in a studio apartment so my space is pretty small but still big, big enough for two even, again wishful thinking ha. I go ahead and make myself a sandwich, once finished I pop my dish in the sink that can be laters job and head straight for the shower. In the shower I make sure to come out smooth as a baby with my hair naturally curly, once out I proceed to defuse my hair and dry off then get my outfit on ready to head out. After grabbing my bag and making sure I have everything I need I go and head to the train station, the time only being 8:30 I should get there with plenty of time with entry being available for me from 9am and photo ops not being needed until 2:30pm. Away in my thoughts I was surprised when the train arrived 10 minutes before its estimated arrival, getting up off the bench I was sat on I headed towards my train and through the doors finding two seats free near a window. Sitting down I popped my headphones in ready for the long journey ahead of me and the train set off towards Wales.

After a two hour journey you arrived at the train station just past 10:30, with the train coming to a stop you gathered your things and called for a taxi, with the taxi arriving after 5 minutes you headed to the comic con. While in the taxi you checked to see if your hair was in the right place and you applied some cherry lip balm, when the taxi came to a halt I looked outside the window and was utterly shocked at how massive the queue was. The queue must of had at least 400 people in it, getting out the car I headed to the gates where one side said priority and the other general entry, unsure of what either of that meant I asked a security guy at the gate and he told me that priority meant early access meaning my ticket so I went were he told me and with a sigh of relief I passed though all of the crowd and got in first, I did feel bad for the people who had to wait but I did get a different ticket type and I’m more glad now then ever. Heading through the doors I entered into a big room where all the stalls where set up and different actors where doing autographs there was one room split into two by a stair case with overhead railing for actors to cross floors without coming into contact with too many fans. The first place I headed was directly into the first set of stalls near the Doctor Who phone box, there must have been around 12 stalls all filled with really intriguing things such as DC and Marvel merch with goody bags, there was also  crystals, dragon ordiments and dragon soaps dressed as characters, drawings and more.

There was also so many people in fancy dress it's amazing, looking around in aww I browsed all merch I liked the look of and brought a few bits while then headed straight to the cafe for a drink of hot chocolate, it was nice to have a relax while waiting for my three photo ops. Looking at my schedules I saw I had one with Samantha and Jared at 2:30 and two with jared at 2:45 luckily they was in the same room, with only a few hours to kill I had a nice drink and relax then headed to look around some more.

2:25pm

Rushing back into the building, I headed straight to the photo op room I was panicking that I was going to miss my ops, I had been late deciding to stay the night in Wales instead of rushing back home in time for a train so I booked myself a room at holiday inn which luckily was walking distance. By the time I reached the doors everyone was already in line and it looked like I was last, with a sigh I go to the end of the line for my Samantha and jared photo op, the queue was around four lines long so I decided to have a seat down on the floor like most people were doing while going on my phone to pass time. Surprisingly I wasn’t nervous I really thought I would be but I wasn’t at all, slowly the line went down and it become three lines instead of four, checking the time I could tell it looked like they was having scheduling issues, I would have missed my jared solo op if they didn’t move it up to a later time.

Three lines become two and then one and soon enough I was standing up, as the room was clearing and the line was disappearing I slowly came round the screens and seen jared and Samantha, I instantly got butterflies but I wasn’t about to let my nerves get ahead of me and make me sit this out. Standing next in line as the last person left and they both turned to me, the manager then announcing I was the last person before the solo ops. Jared had a big smile on his beard clad face and Samatha had a small smile too, they invited me into their arms and asked me what my name was while replying it was "(y/n)" Jared smiled and said “that’s a beautiful name”, making me blush I looked away and the person behind the camera said “ready?”, while the flash went off I felt Jared’s hand slowly make its way down my back touching just above my ass.

With each touch he made me shiver, in the photo Samantha was hugging me one side and Jared was close to me with his arm around me unaware to the camera it was very close to my ass. My head was resting against his chest., the photographer announced it was done and I said “thank you” to them both, Samantha told me I was “very welcome” and she headed off. Jared’s eyes where following me I got my ticket for the print out and walked round the screens, he followed me and said “I really liked that photo, I hope it turns out great!” I replied blushing “me too, thank you so much it has been amazing to meet you….. I’ve always been a sam girl” a chuckle left my lips, his smile appeared bigger and he said “will I see you anymore today? Do you have an autograph or solo op with me?” I smiled sweetly and replied “actually I have two solo ops with you!” “Great! Hopefully you’ll be last again” he said with a wink as he walked off. Making me weak in the knees as I grabbed my things and headed outside again to wait for my solo ops.

After a fifteen minute wait the doors opened up again, as everyone pushed into the room Jared’s words played back into my mind “Great! Hopefully you’ll be last again”…. Sighing I decided it wouldn’t kill me to wait and see if his words had meaning behind them. Sitting down in the corridor I waited half an hour to see if others went in, seeing no one else enter I picked up my things and headed in grabbing my token. Walking up I was the last at the end of two lines, waiting patiently the line was going down fast luckily as I was getting impatient.

Jared's Pov

Smiling as a new person came through the screens expecting it to be (y/n) and trying not to be disappointed when it wasn’t. As person after person came I started to lose hope that (y/n) was coming at all and decided to just forget about her, I know I’m married but there was something about her that my mind and body just couldn’t shake off. Was it the fact she was gorgeous? I don’t think so, I know she absolutely stunning but that’s not it, it was something else and no matter what I just couldn’t pin point it, and boy was that frustrating. “How many people are left?” I asked “not many jar only around five” I nodded at my manager thinking I’ll just power through these people then head back to the hotel to see Gen and hopefully get my mind off this girl. As photos are being taken and while I was trying to take my mind off of her my manager announced there wasn’t anyone else left, frowning my head falling I looked up when I heard “sorry! I was late is it still okay to have my photos taken?”.

Before my manager could answer with a massive smile I replied “of course!” A little too excited “get over here!” She smiled. God she is beautiful, she looked into my soul with every gaze, I knew now I had passed the point of no return, I had to have her, I needed her! Pulling her closer in to me as we gaze into each others eyes we posed for the camera, my eyes got lost in hers almost missing the photographers words “perfect, what pose next?” Her smile never faulted when she replied “I was thinking a dancing dip pose… that’s of course if I’m not too heavy for you” she looked away embarrassed, I was taken back “what do you mean, if you’r not to heavy?” She looked at me confused “well I am a curvy women, I’m a size 18 uk, I don’t know what that is in American but that isn’t exactly skinny.” looking at her with adoration and love I replied “darling your perfect the way you are, dress size doesn’t matter your beautiful on the outside just as you are on the inside. Please don’t ever think differently and with regards to me handling how heavy you think you are, let me show you how light you actually are” and in one big swoop I lifted her up with no effort as she let out a squeal of excitement.

Y/N Pov

He lifted me up in one big swoop as I let out a shriek of excitement “Jesus Jared, you really are strong” I said laughing, looking up at him in the cradled position he is holding me in. “Did you think I wasn’t darlin?” He asked with a joking tone, I blushed and answered “well I guess I always thought you were but I never truly knew” with a smile on my face he put me down and we posed for the last photo. After we was done I looked at him with slight disappointment on my face as his manager perked up and said “let me show you out, come on jared go take a break, you have autographs soon.” I looked at him with a disappointing smile and said “thank you for making my day, honestly I never thought i'd meet you and I’m truly glad I did….. I guess I wish it didn’t have to end.” I smiled and turned to walk away as Jared perked up and turned to his manager “hey, I’m going to walk her out, you guys take a break I’ll see you at autos” “but Jared she’s a fan! She could be dangerous. We can’t leave you alone with her.” Jared’s face turned serious “ I appreciate you guys but I can handle myself, I pay you and I say take a break. I will be fine” “are you sure?” “Yes I’m sure” Jared replied his tone going soft. His manager nodded “okay”.

After a few minutes in silence we were left alone, looking at Jared with a smile he held his hand out “want to take a look around with me?” I smiled and took his hand “definitely!”. Walking through doors I had seen earlier I said to him “can I ask you something?” He looked at me while we walk down the quiet corridor “sure, what’s up?” “Why are you paying attention to me?, you’re being so sweet to me. You know you don’t have to right?” Jared paused turning to look at me with a smile “ you don’t see it do you?” “See what?” I asked with a look of confusion “here, let me show you?” He walked closed to me arms wrapping around my curvy waist pulling me into him, my breath hitched as his lips connected with mine. One of his arms moved up to cradle my face and I paused in astonishment, he then was pulling away assuming because he thought I wasn’t into it, I kissed him  back my tongue licking the bottom of his lip asking for entrance which he obliged, our tongues in each others mouths.

Getting carried away with the kiss, I felt my back hit the wall as his right hand sneaked his way into the back of my curly (y/h/c) hair, coming back to reality I gasped pulling away, grunting “I’m going to probably regret this but, are you sure you want to do this…. You are married” Jared turned to look at his wedding ring and sighed “ I know you’re right I have a wife and three kids…. But (y/n) there is something about you I just can’t shake” after a pause he continued “you mesmerise me babe. I want you so unbelievably bad, I’ve never felt this way before even with the thousands of people I’ve met, your the first to make me act like this….. I don’t even think I’ve felt this way about me wife.” Taken back I grabbed his face and kissed him hard, no one has every made you feel the way he does, you didn’t care about anyone or anything, you wanted him too. After a few minutes I needed to catch my breath and I breathed out “Jared if you don’t want to do this tell me now, if you do then lets go back to my hotel room, I want you to fuck me”.

No ones Pov

After being stunned by my words he grunted, panting out “can’t wait until hotel, come on there’s a bathroom this way” he grabbed my right hand with his left dragging me to the bathroom he had seen. He guided me to a bathroom, as we both went in I observed how clean it was, he broke me from my train of thought with his lips and tongue viciously attacking my neck, moaning he pushed me up against the wall his 6ft 4 figure towering over my 5ft 2 curvy figure. His hand tapping the back of my thighs as he hoisted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist, he walked forward placing me on the counter pulling the straps to my dress down, my size E breasts being released from their confinement’s.

With a moan he scooped up my breast pulling his face between them while sucking on my nipples, throwing my head back as moans are leaving my lips. His mouth biting and sucking at my breast eliciting all kind of noises for me, my hands grabbing at his belt and tugging it open. He pulled away from my breast and stepped back to undue his belt and his button, letting his jeans fall to the ground revealing his large bulge in his tight boxes, biting my lip he moved forward closer to me his hands snaking under my dress finding my purple thong, tugging it down my thick thighs it was discarded somewhere in the bathroom. Snaking his fingers between my thighs his lips found mine again as his fingers played with me, rubbing up and down my soft folds. Luckily preparing was something you did before coming, making sure to shave everywhere except your landing strip, a bit of hair never hurt anyone……I think. As the kisses got deeper I spread my thighs wide, leaning back a little so he had better access,his thumb finding my clit rubbing tight circles causing me to moan more and get wetter by the minute. After a couple minutes of playing he pulled away from the kiss to get on his knees wanting to eat me out, grabbing his shoulders I shook my head no “later, I need you inside me now!” with a slight chuckle he nodded “come her baby”. Moving closer to the edge surprising me he hoisted me up around him and lowered me onto his enlarged cock, moans explicating from my mouth like a porn star. 

Completely shocked at the noises that are coming out of me, I didn’t care he felt so good, we fit just right. He walked us back towards the bathroom wall, my head thrown back moaning, he started off at a slow pace after a couple second I demanded “more baby! I need more! Harder” nodding he lowered his neck into the crook of mine sucking and kissing at all of my exposed skin as his arms rested under my thighs lifting me with his deep thrust’s, each thrust was deeper and faster, feeling so good inside me I felt that familiar feeling of being close. My moans were getting louder and they only edged him on more causing his orgasm to quickly make an appearance, grabbing the top of his shoulders I helped his thrusts by bouncing my ass against him harder. “God Jared please, I need to cum" nodding his head he said "cum with me baby” grunting and moaning “(y/n)” he came spilling inside me, feeling him pulsating his load inside my tight hole, you fell over the edge screaming into his neck shaking as the most powerful orgasm hit you. Jared feel forward resting his head against the wall and his arms still wrapped around you, he slowly thrusts until he comes to a stop, pulling out he asks me “are you okay? Do you want me to sit you down on the counter?”.

Smiling at him like I’m high I reply “I love how your being so sweet even after a heck of a ride” with a laugh he slowly walks to the counter and puts me down gently, he starts washing his hands and pulls his pants up, doing up his belt and sorting himself out. After a couple minutes of watching him I see him go into a stall and grab a hand towel “wow this bathroom really is posh isn’t it” I laughed out loud, he smiled “this is all I get now I’ve been leads in shows but before the bathrooms where terrible, don’t get me wrong I still use horrible bathrooms, I don’t really like the special treatment but I must admit the nice toilets are definitely a plus” nodding my head in acknowledgment I continue watching him as he grabbed the towel and ran it under some water. 

He comes over to me and starts cleaning the cum off of me where it had ran down my thighs out of my pussy, I look at him in aww and he says “what’s up? Has no one ever done this for you before?” “Honestly……no, is that bad?” “Yes. You should be treated like the princess you are babe” I smile at him and ask “do you regret it?” He replies looking in my eyes as he comes to a stop cleaning me “definitely not, I don’t want to scare you but I think I’m falling for you (y/n)” “really Jared?” He nods in agreement “I really must be dreaming” you whisper

To be continued?

Let me know if you guys crave more! I honestly loved writing this I had so much fun! Thinking I might turn this into a series. Where will this go from here, what will Jared do, he has a family. Will he choose her?

written by R-J_C (me)