#as long as he isnt getting in the way of him trying to steal shit or st then he gets pissy | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

d0g0r0t · 1 year ago

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can I pls have yandere Toby??? pretty please

Yandera Toby

TW:GROSS SHIT!!! Obsession, stalking, violence, sh

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!

He's low-key so pathetic

Seeing how pretty and kind you are he couldn't help but fall... well become obsessed

Your his!.... who the fuck are they? Why aren't you with him your supposed to be with him not them!

Yea no. He's all over the place when it comes to you

He'll sneak into your house, stealing things that smell like you or remind him of you

Stealing your perfume and using that shit like Febreze. He can barely breath in his own room anymore cause he used the whole bottle, reeking the room with your smell

He steals your deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, bodywash. Just to feel a little closer to you

He takes your underwear every now and then. Over time you'll find it on your door step all... sticky and.. what the fuck is that smell?

It's gross.

He takes your worn out shirts ALOT. You always looking threw your closet trying to find that one band tee the just suddenly disappeared

He'll give them back once he has you <3

Leaving you with little hickeys and red bruises on your neck when you sleep

He loves seeing you wake up in the morning confused on why you have these marks on your throat knowing damn well you didn't go out that night

He really does like you. He sees his obsession as a simple crush when it really isnt

He's never had someone he can see romantically so it was weird when he found out he DID love you

He gets emotional. Seeing you with someone else or not by his side

It feels like your betraying him even tho you don't know he exists

He talks about you SO.MUCH

It's like that stupid "hey masky" thing but instead it's "y/n" over and over again

Tim AND Brian have both rocked his shit because he wouldn't shut up

He has so many pictures of you on his walls. Some of you sleep, some of you eating, working, brushing your teeth, bathing. It's insane how many his got of you

He stalks your socials with his victims phones, getting BEN to figure your locations and you WHOLE life story

He knows a little to much about you

"Oh! Y/n order pizza last night at 7:46pm!"

"How... how the fuck do you know that?.."

He knows all of your accounts on and social. He wants to like your stuff but he doesn't want you to know him just yet

He screenshots your stuff and favoring all your videos to the phone

His wallpaper his your face and his password his you name or birthday

His tics slowly started to form around you as well. Him randomly stuttering out your name or something about you

The moment he actually kidnaps you is when he killed everyone you know and love

He's the only one you should love and think about. Just like him!

He holds you in his bed, ropes around you wrists and ankles

He would never put you in some nasty basement your to pretty for something like that

He stares at you for hours. Watching you struggle and squirm as desperate tears stream down your face. His head and arms rested up on the bed as he just watches you

He only keeps you tied you to his bed for a little while

He may be crazy but he's not abusive and wants you to be comfortable... kinda

He never hurts you, or tries not to

The only time he'll hurt you is if you try to leave him

But let's just hope you don't do that

He keeps you locked in his room for God who knows how long

He brings you your favorite goods and drinks and overall treats you well

He knows you won't love him right away but he doesn't want you to hate him

He asks if he can touch you or do certain things

If you say yes he's praising you and thanking you. But if you say no he begs for a bit but understand after a moment

He doesn't want to hurt you, he really doesn't

The idea of you being in pain from his hands reminds him of his father and the way Lyra looked after every beating broke him

He doesn't want to see you like that

He literally BEGS you if he can kiss you. On his hands and knees "PLEASEEEEEEE"

When you do he's shaky and doesn't know where to put his hands. He gets so needy for your lips and becomes a bit aggressive

Biting your lips, shoving his tounge in your mouth. It's wild

He bites at his fingers so much just thinking about you to where he starts bleeding.

Or scratching at his skin at the thought of you with someone else

Sad

NSFW

GROSS SHIT!!!_______________________________________

Jerks off to your pictures every night no questions asked

Uses your underwear as a cum rag hints why it's so gross and sticky

He's moaning your name softly as he cums, whimpering and gripping at the sheets just thinking about how gorgeous you are

CAN NOT control himself around you

He has so little sex life he's like a 14 boy who just hit puberty and can't look at a girl in the eyes

He's tenting so bad it looks actually painful

When you catch him staring at your body he turns in a mess apologizing that he was looking at the he didn't mean it like that. And covering his boner...

The thought of YOU and HIM was like a dream that he knew would never happen.

Feeling your soft gummy walls around him is all he thought about

When ever he touches you he gets needy and wanting to touch you even more

If you two are ACTUALLY involved don't be surprised when randomly you get groped aggressively

He loves seeing you squirming and trembling under him. Soft tears streaming down your pink face as he bucks himself balls deep. Heavenly

SORRY ONCE AGAIN SHIT IS TAKING SO LONGGG

Also ik u didn't ask for NSFW I just had to 💀

#creepypasta #ticci toby x reader #ticci toby #slenderman #toby rogers #x reader #crp #creepypasta x reader

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maarslovesmonkees · 4 months ago

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AHHHH!! I just finished reading your Caesar alphabet, if you have time would you want to make a SFW alphabet cause we all know he has his soft spot 👺💗

{Caesar SFW alphabet}

I'd happily do a SFW of my dearly beloved ape king🙏💞 I love how complex my man is, hes so stoic but hes also so soft :(

Notes and warnings: Caesar x Human!Reader, M4A

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

He shows affection mostly from acts of service. He would bring you a plate of food, massage you, braid your hair, lift you over his shoulder if he needs to carry you over a river or something etc. Although being the best communicator in the colony, he likes to express his love through his actions.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He'll have a little soft spot for you, considering you're his only human friend. He's the sort of friend that is quite serious but he'll always treat you with respect. Kind of like in a human friend group, the oldest is wiser, more mature and looks over everyone, making sure they're not doing stupid shit, yeah he's like that as a friend.

He'll be hesitant towards you at first, for obvious reasons, but he'll be more trusting towards you than the other apes. For it to start you need to be respectful of him and his kind.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Big ol' stoic ape king loves his cuddles. Especially when its just you two alone in the nest, with either one of you spooning each other. He loves spooning you because he feels hes protecting you in a way, as well as being able to pull you in realy close to his chest for him to smell your scent. He loves getting spooned because it reminds him of being young again with Will.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Absolutely! Although being the leader of the ape colony, he still priorities you and the family. He's heart would just melt coming home to the nest with you and thhe kids playing around. Although cooking and cleaning isnt a huge thing in the colony, if he has to, he can clean and cook very well, as he was taught lots of 'human activities' when he was younger.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He'll definitely sit you down alone together and have a talk about it. He's a bit hesitant as he doesn't want to hurt your feelings as he still respects you. He understands human break ups are incredibly upsetting so he'll be as gentle about it as possible, cuddling you after if you cry.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

He's a date to marry type guy. Doesn't like flings or short term relationships. He prefers very deep, long lasting bonds, so if you date him, be sure for some commitment. Ceasar would want to have a slow relationship build to truly strengthen the relationship before marriage.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Incredibly gentle in all sense. Being both human and his partner, hes sensitive towards you, his touch always being light on your skin and his words warming to your heart.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

He doesn't really hug per say, but likes to be touching you. He'll always be pulling you close by his side, or your sides touching when sitting next to each other. He'll hug you on big events but its mostly just lots of touches.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take him a long time before he says it. He knows the weight of that word and will say it when he thinks the relationship is at its all time high. When married, he'll sign it to you occasionally, touching foreheads together.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Caesar is a secure and confident ape. He has no worries of other apes trying to steal you away from him, and trusts you enough that you'll be loyal to him.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Face, forehead and the top of your head is where he kisses you the most. After a little kiss he'll touch foreheads with you too🥺 His kisses are a gentle because his lips are a little rouch. He'll also really appreciate you kissing him on his head as well.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

He adores kids and is acts quite tender without being overly enthusiastic. He wont go up to a random kid, pick them up and start cooing, no he be like a kind old uncle that smiles at you, or kneels down to greet you. He acts parental to children, and he does seem to smile a little more when theyre around.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Not the biggest morning person, and can be a little grumpy without being outwardly mean. He sleeps later than everyone else and he tries to get up a bit early to, just so he can get ahead of todays task. He'll give you forehead kisses before he goes off.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Hes one of the last people to sleep in the clan, it gives him a sense of relief knowing everyone is asleep and safe. He'll cuddle you if you ask him to, and he'll mostly just watch you sleep. He adores your sleeping face and caress you as you fall deep into dream world.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He's actually not as closed off as people would think of the mighty leader. However, he doesn't usually reveal things unless you ask him about something. He doesn't say anything all at once as well, so you should pry a bit little by little over time.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

It depends on what its about. Usually though, he easily gets angry when humans/apes are disrespectful to rather him or his colony. Hes a big peace advocate and gets really annoyed when others are making disputes around the colony. If he thinks anyone is putting anyone he cares (his family, his colony etc.) about in danger, then he's instantly pissed tf off.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He has an insanely good memory, and locks everything you say into a special little part of his brain. If you say you like something, he'll also try and give them to you as gifts.

You mentioned once a few months ago you liked a specific berry that grew in only one season? Oh shit, a bowl of that exact berries is serves with dinner because its the finally the season it grew in. You liked this certain human object? Oh shit, while he was out scouting an abandoned cabin.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Platonic wise? Realising you were kind for the first time. He doesn't know a lot of good humans, and when he truly saw you as someone could trust, and isnt a danger to his apes, he felt so much relief.

Romantic wise? He cherishes every little thing. Everyday is a new day with different things happening and he loves them all. Your his mate, everything you do with him just makes his heart melt.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He's incredibly protective of everything, especially you when you become his mate. He does trust you enough to do things on your owny he understands your a capable adult and whatnot, but he still gets a little anxious when you're off on your own without him. He's the type to just watch over you. Its not overbearing and he can clearly see when you're in danger.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Hes a busy man, but he still puts in a lot effort for you. He's someone who likes to show his love by his actions rather than his words, so you bet he's pampering you, especially on big events (anniversaries etc.). Again, he does remember details of you, so he uses them in his advantage, trying to decirate the nest with flowers you like, making/finding gifts you like etc.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He doesn't see himself as equal to his apes. As the leader, he sees himself higher and with more authority. Don't get me wrong, he loves his apes. Theyre his family and he'll go through everything for them, he just sees them a bit below him.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He has too many other important matters to think about than his looks. He sometimes gets a bit worried of the fact hes an ape and you, as a human, will find him attractive but other than that, he's not one to care about what he looks like.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He's a strong ape, both mentally and physically, he knows that he can live his day with or without you there. However, he knows deep down he feels better and like himself with you around. He knows its silly, but he can't help the feeling, of wanting you with him most of the time.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Loves it when you or the apes do human things. For example, if you somehow have a knitting kit or something and you knit/ teach apes to knit, he thinks its the cutest thing ever. He loves seeing his apes being united with peaceful and loving human things, like how he grew up with.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Bad communication. He wants to know whats wrong and how he can help with anything. You and the colony are his priority, and he gets a bit frustrated when people aren't outward with their troubles. If he doesn't know, how can he help?

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

Like a log. Mostly on his back with his hands crossed or on his side with his hand under his head. If hes with you, spooning and cuddling wwill always be involved.

Hes always one of the last people to sleep, thoughts keeping him awake. Nothing that could really deprve him of sleep, but youll always fall asleep before him. He snores very lightly too.

#caesar #planet of the apes #caesar x reader #dawn of the planet of the apes #pota #rise of the planet of the apes #war of the planet of the apes #planet of the apes caesar #pota caesar

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twosdays-trash · 1 month ago

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my brain has been hooked on the animal versions of the VR45 Academy drivers + Marquez bros and ive been cooking up ideas. specifically a shapeshifter!AU with some pack dynamics

the Marquez brothers are both cats, Marc is a black cat and Alex is tuxedo (x). it makes sense in my mind that because they are siblings they shift into the same type of animal. i initially was thinking that they should be torties, where Marc is a regular black/orange one and Alex is grey tortie (x). they have tripped each other at night multiple times since they blend in with the dark so well. they also get along very well with their dogs in their shifted form.

heading into the VR46 Academy, i think that Valentino would definitely be that rat dog that has been circulating twitter. i also think that its incredibly funny that even though hes tall as a person hes a tiny dog shifted. he also acts like a little rat dog, always cranky but somehow is able to run at mock 20 when theres the space. the type of dog to grows and howl at being picked up but once put in a warm blanket is out in less than a minute.

I also agree with the masses that Pecco is a rat, more specifically a fancy rat, he seems like the kinda guy that would shift and hide in the other academies pockets in order to avoid talking to people. he also low key seems like he would a clean freak, and rats are notoriously an animal that trys to keep clean. he has destroyed the toilet paper in the main bathroom on multiple occasions in order to get a more comfortable and warm nest, eventually everyone gets fed up of going to the bathroom only for the toilet paper to look like its been to hell and back and gives pecco proper bedding/his own personal toilet paper to destroy.

i saw someone mention that Bez would be a raccoon, and i agree! i initially was deliberating whether he was a tanuki/Japanese Raccoon dog or a plain raccoon. Tanuki as supper fluffy and more dog shaped, but they are solitary animals unless they are mated. I figured with Bez very much NOT being a solitary person, that wouldnt work, so i went with raccoons. he would walk over (shifted) and just put his hands up asking for uppies, steal the food of whoever picked him up, then run away. scares the shit out of valentino one night because he just stood in the door way staring at vale like a kid who just threw up (x)

Franky would absolutely be a bull terrier. when i saw a picture of a bull terrier i immediately thought that it looked like Franky. kinda scary on the outside but an absolute cutie on the inside. theres also this picture of a bull terrier carrying a rat on its head and i think that also personafies Franky and Peccos relationship. he is the type of guy that would be riled up. it would be the classic dad/Vale saying "dont rile up the dog" then Bez absolutely riling up Franky. He has also, on multiple occasions, slid-hit the wall at the end of the hallway while playing.

Luca, unlike the Marquez brothers, isnt the same species/a dog like Valentino is since they have different dads. it took me a while to figure out what Luca would be, i searched for so long trying to find a good representation and i finally landed on a Eurasian Lynx. i first was going to go with a ferret but i figured that it didnt fit that well. sometimes when hes shifted he freaks out the others for fun with his growls and screams. the others dont think its funny because every time Luca screams they think that hes hurt (x) when he is in fact just sunbathing 90% of the time.

finally, the girl-fail himself, Cele. i also had a pretty hard time trying to figure out what animal he would be. i was going to go with a green eared parakeet, but then my sibling showed me the asian golden cat and i just had to go with that. spends his time either sleeping or rough housing Luca, but it just ends up looking like those videos of cubs trying to fight their mom or something, except they are basically the same size so its a little funny to watch.

i imagine there are some other shifters in the paddock, maybe Enea as like a bear, jorge being a maine coon maybe (i feel like he would lay around Aleixs neck like a scarf when theyre relaxing), probably some others that i cant think of right now would also be shifters or are human but apart of some shifter packs.

all that aside im thinking of writing some short fics of the VR46 pack reconciling getting to know the Marquez pack/bros. ideas are bubbling and im going to try and pump them out! also please tell me if im missing anyone from the academy or if theres someone you want to specifically see in the AU

#this all started with bearanini #the idea hasnt left my mind since #i dont even know what to call this au #MotzooGP #Honestly thats a pretty funny name #depending on how much the people (yall) like this i might add more installments to this #my first idea (sadly) was to torture cele and make him have a bad day that just gets worse and worse until he breaks :(#but then he would get coddled and loved to undescribable levels and then hes happy :)#motogp rpf #motogp #vr46 academy #marc marquez #alex marquez #valentino rossi #pecco bagnaia #marco bezzecchi #luca marini #celestino vietti #franco morbidelli

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god-has-entered-my-body · 7 months ago

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You said some day we might - M.H x Reader // pt.3

A/N: This one's a bit NSFW (minors please don't interact), also angsty and sad at parts. TW for hard drugs, take care of yourselves! This is loosely based off of my own experience, and I am not trying to glamorize it. Ily my dearest @beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff for making sure it isnt shit xx

wc: 4k

part four

Picture a scene: flashing lights all around you, colors blinding as they move through the room, seemingly liquid. Music pounding in your head, almost as if it was trying to force its way into your body. People sweating, dancing up against strangers. You feel alive.

Matty dances next to you, throwing his hands up into the air. You can hear screams as the music changes, now playing Britney Spears’ ‘Toxic’. He wouldn't admit it if you held a gun to his head, but he loves this song. Your hips sway to the beat, and you can feel arms on your waist. It's not Matty. The fuck?

You didn't know this guy, but his hands were grabbing at you roughly like you were supposed to. His grin disgusted you. (Not so) politely shoving him off, you dance toward Matty, tapping his shoulder three separate times. That was code for ‘bathroom, now’. He nods, taking your hand and leading you towards the edge of the crowd. The sea of people thins out as you finally spot the glowing sign for the loo.

“You alright?” He asks as you enter the bathroom. The walls were covered in graffiti, stickers, and the occasional phone number. There wasn't the classic smell of piss and sweat, which is why you liked Sound. It was fairly clean. The sinks were made of metal, and so was everything else. The lights were dim, and the mirrors dirty, lipstick stains adorning the edges. You can hear the faint noise of toilets flushing in the background.

“I'm fine, I s’pose, just that guy was rubbing up against me all weird.” You fix your hair in the mirror, refreshing your eyeliner before passing it to Matty so he could do the same. You had taught him how to do it himself, saving you a load of time and effort whenever you were getting ready together. Tonight's color was red, both of you were wearing the same shade.

The stall door flings open as a girl stumbles out, almost falling before she caught herself on the hand dryer. Fixing her bra strap, she wiped the edges of her mouth clean before reaching into her small blue handbag. Out comes a small baggie with white powder in it. You immediately recognise it. Blow.

While you and Matty smoked copious amounts of weed, neither of you had ever tried anything harder. An exception was the occasional acid trip, and even that was a one off on Ross’ 18th birthday.

Both you and Matty watch her intently as she starts cutting up lines on the edge of the sink, not caring that both your eyes were on her. She takes out a £5 note, rolling it before snorting the line. Her hair is wild as she lifts her head back up, turning to the mirror to fix it.

“D’you fancy some, love? I have plenty for you,” she looks over to Matty, flashing him a smile “and your friend, as well.”

It takes you a split second to realize her statement was directed at you. Matty turns to make eye contact, before doing something you didn't expect.

He nods, taking a step towards the girl. You do the same. ‘If you're going to try it’, you thought, trying to rationalize, ‘who better than with Matty?’

She shakes more of the powder onto the sink, cutting two lines for the both of you, and one more for herself. You notice the card she uses is a school I.D. A high school I.D.

She hands you the rolled up note first, and for some reason, you feel calm. ‘This is fine’ you repeat in your head, before opening your mouth to speak.

“This is blow, yeah?” you ask, looking up at her from your position, which was currently hunched over the sink. It's cold, colder than it was.

“Yeah, clean shit too, don't worry,” she offers a genuine smile, stroking your hair with her long, black nails. You steal a glance at Matty, who was now sitting on the sink next to you, watching closely. You nod, turning back to the line of white powder in front of you

You take a deep breath before snorting the line. It burns as it travels through your nostrils, and you don't feel anything for a second.

And then, it hits you.

It hits you fast. Everything feels amplified, and you barely register as Matty snorts his. You feel good, euphoric even. Matty feels the same way, letting out a shout when he does lift his head from the sink.

The girl was long gone when you exited the bathroom and reentered the crowd. You danced with Matty, the music controlling your movements. Deciding to get a drink, you drag him to the bar. The bartender looks you up and down, before shaking his head. He knew you were on something, but that wasn't a rarity in clubs like Sound. Everyone was on something, so, fuck it! Why couldn't you do the same?

Matty orders for you. A french martini and a glass of Malbec for him. The bartender raised his eyebrows at his drink order. “Who orders wine at a club?” he shouts over the music. Matty rolls his eyes before responding “I do! Why, d’you fancy buying me a drink when you get off?” he winks at him provocatively before taking the drinks from the counter.

He hands you your drink, bringing his hand up to your face, wiping off the smudged makeup underneath your eyes. That's when you realize how hot it was. ‘Fucking hell’ you thought. ‘When did it get so hot? Jesus Christ, it's like I'm in a sauna’.

Matty had downed his glass of wine in two large gulps, wiping his mouth on the sleeve of his your wine red jumper. You rake your eyes over his body, a thin layer of sweat shone on his forehead. His eyeliner was somehow still perfect.

He was perfect.

March, 2008 // two months earlier

The mid afternoon sun was beating down onto your skin. The blanket beneath you molding to the ridges of the earth, digging into your back. You were lying in a field, surrounded by daisies and dandelions blowing softly in the breeze, a half-empty packet of crisps on your left. Your arms were sprawled out to the side, with Matty lying peacefully on top of you.

Adam had situated himself on a flimsy fold up chair. He hated sitting on the ground with a burning passion. You had promptly forgiven him for leaving you to fend for yourselves that past weekend, seeing as he promised to pay club covers for a month as an apology. Just you though, seeing as Matty would have abused the ever living hell out of Hann’s wallet if given the chance.

George and Ross were in the lake located a few dozen meters from where you were sitting, having a swim. The weather was uncharacteristically nice given that you were in Great Britain, land of miserable weather, so the five of you had set out for a makeshift picnic at the last minute.

It wasnt aesthetically pleasing by any means, with fag packets litering the dirty old blanket Ross had found in an old closet. Ross’ beer bottles were lined up at the edge of the blanket. You grab a pack, presumably Georges, and light up. Marlboro golds, not your favorite, but they’ll do. Breathing in the smoke, you turn your head to get a better look at Matty, who was draped over you, using your chest as a pillow.

You wore Mattys sunflower shirt, unbuttoned, revealing a black sports bra underneath. He, in turn, wore one of your tops. Specifically, a lavender baby tee with the words ‘dump him’ scrawled across the chest in white glitter. Adam was dressed like a divorced dad, beige linen trousers paired with a Metallica band shirt. You laughed when you saw him, knowing he’d be sweating in under an hour wearing that.

Soft music played in the background, the speaker having been lost underneath the pile of Ross and George's clothes. The air smelled of summer, even if it was only March. You spot the wine bottle in Mattys hand as he tilted his head up, taking a drink. You tap him on the arm, and he hands you the bottle.

White wine? Matty rarely drank white wine. You brushed it off, it was probably just the cheapest thing at the store. Matty loved expensive red wine, but did not have the money to pay for it, always settling for the bottle with the lowest price tag. Your attention is drawn to George screaming incoherent curses at Ross for throwing a rock at him. Absolute knobheads.

“D’you reckon we need sunscreen? I don't wanna age my skin anymore than it already has.” he asked, his fingers lingering on his face. His skin was perfect, not a single blemish tarnishing it. “I dunno, I don't think we need to. It's not that hot.” you answer, looking around you. “It's not looking like we have any anyway” you add.

You could feel Mattys' breath on you, ghosting over your chest. His legs moved, brushing against yours. You were suddenly very aware of the fact he was laying on top of you. It made you feel hot, and not because of the sun.

He rolled on top of you, now straddling your legs. He was clearly drunk, slurring his words. His eyes stared into yours with such an intensity, you would've thought he was trying to read your mind. His face was bare, but the glitter from last night's adventures still stained his face, giving him a slight shine.

A smile crept onto his face as he brushed his hair out of his face. The blonde highlights had slightly grown out by now, and you made a mental note to ask him if he wanted you to do his roots.

“Didnt you want to cut my hair?” He asked, and you recognised that look in his eye. Excitement. He jumps up, crawling to get his bag.

“I brought a pair of scissors, d’you wanna cut it now?” He held up pink kitchen scissors, handing them to you as you moved to a sitting position.

“Are you sure? These are not meant for ha-” “I don't careee, just do it!” he slurred, cutting you off and settling between your crossed legs. He turns and looks at you expectantly, and you sigh in defeat.

You try your best, snipping away at his hair randomly. Cutting layers into his hair, you try to make the strands around his face shorter. He giggles as it tickles his face, brushing it off his skin. The sun made him appear as if he were glowing, painting him in an orange hue. Trying not to cut it too short, you tug at it to get a good idea of the length.

A soft groan escapes Mattys mouth, and he tries to pass it off as a cough, avoiding your gaze. A few minutes later, you tug at it again. A little experiment , if you will. This time, the noise is slightly clearer, and his whole body twitches. He busies himself with the bottle of wine in his hands, inspecting the label.

He admires your work in a little compact mirror you had found in your bag. “So.. do you like it? Or have I completely fucked your hair?” you ask, watching his reflection. Matty grins, slamming the mirror shut.

“I love it! The layers make me look hot, so you did your job right!” He pulled you in for a hug, kissing all over your face: He was obviously drunker than you thought.

You lay back on your elbows, closing your eyes, letting the sun shine onto your skin. This was nice. You felt truly alive.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Skin against skin, soft moans filled the room. You didn't even know who they belonged to. Desire took over your bodies like a foreign force. The room was dark, the only light coming from the streetlamp just outside, illuminating the space.

“Fuck- can I?” hands trailed down your chest, toying with the buttons of your shirt. You nod frantically, smashing his lips back against yours. You find his hair, pulling slightly as he lets out a pathetic whimper. You drink in the noise as if it was the very essence of life, tugging even harder at the curls. Curls. Matty.

“Mmh- ah, fuck-” You can feel him against your thigh. You can feel Matty grinding against you. The thought makes your head spin, and you throw your head back, your hair splayed over the baby blue pillows. Mattys pillows.

“You're so- you’re so beautiful, just let me- i’ll-” he cuts himself off, trailing his lips down your jaw, leaving searing, hot kisses in his wake. His mouth makes contact with your collarbone, biting down. You hiss, your nails digging into his scalp. He groans. Matty

His rough hands rub the tattoo on your hip, you feel his rough calluses. You pull his hair, making him look at you. Your eyes rake over his face, the glitter around his eyes shimmering in the faint light. His hand comes up to push your shirt up, the material bunching up where his mouth had just been. You make eye contact again.

He grins before licking one long stripe along the expanse of your ribcage, letting out an obscene moan as he did. He was putting on a show, for you. The noise goes straight to your core.

His fingers snap the elastic of your black underwear, making you jump. A laugh. Teeth graze your hip bone, tracing the tattoo. You can feel him slipping the lace down your thighs, licking and sucking lower, lower, lower…

You jolt awake suddenly, hot sweat running down your back. You turn to look at the time. 2:53am.

What the fuck was that?

You close your eyes, the dream replaying in your head. Lips, your lips and his. Teeth, kisses down your neck, Matty, Matty, Matty-

You stop yourself, shoving your face into a pillow. This can't be happening. This wasn't real. This was all hallucination and you didn't just have a wet dream involving your best mate.

Letting out a groan, you lay back down facing the wall. You desperately, desperately needed a good lay. If it had come to you having fucking dreams about Matty of all people, you knew it was time to find a guy and just shag him. That would solve your little predicament, you were sure of it.

—------------------------------------------------------------

Admiring yourself in the mirror, you hike the ruched material of your dress up even further. Jewelry covered you from head to toe, complimenting the details of your bag perfectly. Hair done up in curls, you knew you were ready.

You were going out. Alone.

The heel of your shoe clicked nervously against the pavement as you queued, giving the bouncer, James, a nod as he waved you through. “No Matty today?” he questioned, referring to the fact that you were alone.

“Yeah, I'm out alone tonight. Matty is… sick. The flu.” you lie through your teeth, not wanting to disclose the real reason behind your solo-mission. The plan was to find a guy, any guy, and forget about that godforsaken dream.

The music was loud, even louder than usual, and you were stone cold sober. Not good.

Making your way to the bar, you order your usual, a french martini. Tobias, the bartender, handed your drink, and you close out. You didn't want to get hammered tonight.

Your fingers drum along to the beat as you sip your drink, scanning the crowd. There weren't many people dancing, seeing as it was a Sunday night. Most had work in the morning, so going out wasn't an option. He had asked you if you really didn't want anything else, even offering you a drink in the house. You politely decline with a shake of your head, assuring him it was alright.

Suddenly, a tall man appeared in your peripheral vision. You had seen him a few times before, wandering about, flirting with the female waitresses. Blonde hair, blue eyes. The complete opposite of Matty. His arm rested against the bar, and you could see him flexing his muscles. On purpose. Jesus.

He strolled up to you with an air of confidence. Turning to Tobias, he asked him what your drink was. “A french martini,” he answered, looking you up and down “and she's only had one the entire night.” The man laughs, “Well that wont do! Let me buy you a drink sweetheart, on me.”

You nod, turning to face him. A smile makes its way onto your lips. Perfect .

He introduces himself as David. He works an office job down the road, something something marketing. You didn't really listen to him, only laughing when he paused, expecting it

He seemed solid, and he was 19, so not too old. You really didn't want to deal with another Phillip situation. He had bought you three, quite pricey, drinks, and you knew he wanted more.

He eventually asked if you wanted to come back to his place for some wine. You agreed, letting yourself be led out of the club by your wrist. James winked at you knowingly as you left.

He had a silver Toyota, the interior a cream leather. It was a big difference to Hann’s beaten up red Kia, but you weren't complaining. He was nice enough, opening the car door for you.

The inside of his flat reeked of sickly sweet vanilla and cheap cologne. He opened a bottle of wine for the both of you, pouring two glasses. The conversion was mundane, but he was nice enough. You had switched your phone off, not wanting anything to distract you from your mission. He had made a move to sit next to you, his hand trailing up your thigh, inching higher with every word he uttered.

His mouth was against your ear, whispering sweet nothings into it, his other hand finding your chest, pushing you down onto the sofa. You let him move you, twist you as he pleased. It didn't mean anything to you, you just needed to get Matty out of your head. Matty.

His hands were soft, like he moisturized them regularly. You could feel his lips on your chest, leaving bite marks and kisses, but you didn't feel anything. Closing your eyes, you decide to let him do all of the work. You had even worn your only pair of lace underwear, a black number with a little bow on the front of the matching bra. The same pair you had worn in the dream.

You mentally curse yourself, kissing David deeper, harder than you did before. Forget, forget, forget.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------

He wasn't the worst, but at least he tried. You tried to give him the benefit of the doubt. Laying on his (quite expensive looking) leather couch, you watch him as he gets dressed. He asks you if you need anything, and you answer with a shake of your head. You just wanted to leave.

A phone buzzes, and you quickly realize it's yours. You pick it up, the screen lighting up. 3 missed calls from Matty, and 4 texts from him as well.

// Where r you? I’m at your window.

// Are you well?

// Answer me for fucks sake, dont do this.

// I hope you’ve died or smth, you’re well fucking me off.

You sigh, clicking the call button. It rings for a split second before Matty picks up.

“Now you decide to ring me back? I thought you’d been picked up by a sex trafficker or something. Fuck you, honest,” his voice sounded worried, even tired, if you ignored the nature of his words.

“Sorry mate, I was out.” You answer curtly, trying to keep your voice steady. Your fingers tap against the glass of the coffee table, and you hear Matty inhale sharply.

“Out where? And why did it take me three calls and four messages to get a ring back?” he sounded more aggressive this time, and you could tell he had gotten up from wherever he was sitting. This pissed you off. Why does he have the right to know where you are, it didn’t concern him in the slightest, and he wasn't your father. You told him as much.

“I was out, alright? I'm at David's place right now, and I'll be at yours in an hour, cool?” A moment of silence passes between you two before Matty spits out. “Whos the fuck is David?” The way he said his name made it sound like you had shagged his worst enemy, not some random guy.

“He's just a bloke I met at Sound, I went to his place. D’you want me over or should I fuck off home?” The second option was just a courtesy, you were sure he’d want you over. You hadn’t seen each other since Friday.

“Nah, it's alright, go home.” His voice sounded cold, unfeeling. A shudder made its way up your spine. He didn't sound like himself at all. What the fuck? “I have erm.. work to catch up on. You understand.” No you didnt fucking understand.

You open your mouth to protest, but are rudely interrupted by a faint noise. The dial tone. Matty had hung up on you. Your mouth let out a gasp in disbelief. Fuck him. Fuck him all the way.

You gather your things. While trying to find your shoes, David comes back into the room. You tell him you need to leave, and he tries to kiss you goodbye. It feels wrong.

Deciding to walk barefoot, you do the walk of shame at 1 in the morning. Heels in one hand, your purse in the other, you trudge down the pavement. You feel dirty, like you did something inherently wrong.

Cars whizz by you, and you hear sirens in the background. It's cold, and you can feel goosebumps forming on your skin in the soft breeze. Feeling around for your cigarettes, you come across something small towards the bottom of your purse. You pull it out, your eyes widening at the sight. The lighter. Mattys lighter.

The white letters on the side point and laugh at you. You can hear it. It was even more chipped than it was that night, how did it still work? M.H. Matty.

In a fit of rage you chucked the lighter onto the ground in front of you. It splinters off, the metal top flying off onto the road. A car drives over it. You were angry. Angry at yourself for even going out alone. For going home with fucking David. You were angry at Matty for being angry at you. You didn't even understand why, but the mere fact he had hung up on you made your blood boil.

The lighter was now in pieces beneath your feet. The white letters, illegible. Feeling powerful, you decide to kick the rest of the plastic off onto the road, hoping a giant truck would run it over. You wanted Matty at your feet like this, pathetic and powerless. You needed him like this, to show him he can't just hang up on you like you're nothing.

The mental image of Matty at your feet made warmth spread throughout your body. On his knees, looking up at you with glassy, glitter framed eyes. You wanted to take his beautiful hair and weave it between your fingers, forcing him to look up at you. You wanted to hear the pathetic whimpers escape his mouth, just like they did in your dream.

You feel breathless, staring at the wet pavement where the lighter once was. You keep walking.

#i like this one alot #angst #smut??#smut #the 1975 #matty healy #ross macdonald #adam hann #george daniel #matty the 1975 #drive like i do #matty healy x you #matty healy angst #matty healy smut #fluff?#sort of i guess

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spookyscaryskidnpump · 7 months ago

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my thoughts on spooky month 6

copy pasted from a page and a half of google doc. crying. spoilers inbound.putting it under the cut cuz its super long. also swear warning.

Ok to start off LILA. LILA MY GAL NO UR DOING UR BEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Im crying im actually fucginf crying. She's trying. So hard. Skid is trying so hard. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST PLEASEEEEE. Father Gregor can go EAT SHIT. THEY'RE TRYING AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS GODDAMNIT.

Susie… Susie no… please… she deserves better istgggggg. What happened to their parents? Are they actually just busy? Are they DEAD? Holy shit what if they're dead. Poor Pump, poor Susie, god please just let these kiddos be ok. PLEASE. ABUELO WONDER IS TYING SO HARD BUT SUSIE KNOWS IT ISN'T REALLY FROM HER PARENTS IM CRYING. SUSIE NOOOOOO

FATHER GREGOR I HATE YOU. ok well he obvs did some good but STILL. GREGOR. STFU GREGOR. I get that hes trying but U CANT JUST SAY ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT JUDGEMENT AND THEN JUDGE HER HER FUCKING HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO!! YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CONTEXT!!!! ARGHFDGHJSGHJKAGHSD. Also DAMN IS HE A CULTIST NOW?? IS HE DEAD?? WHAT?!?!?!

ROYYYYYY ROY MY BOI NOOOOOO poor guy :( i understand why he hates the kids they DID kinda ruin him so. At least he knows theyre trying now :( and ross n rob just ASSUME he did something bad isnt helping here!!!! I get that theyre also trying to help him and its nice to see him opening up to them about stuff (even if we dont get to know what specifically PELO WHY) but PLEASE get this kid an anger management class or smthn PLEASE. He needs SO MUCH THERAPY. I dont think hes gonna get therapy because im pretty sure his parents are Part Of The Problem but STILL. Also FUCKER LITERALLY GOT POSSESED BY A DEMON?????? THATS GOTTA BE TRAUMATIC TF

Side note i love ross and robert dearly and i appreciate them doing their best to help on both sides i love them smmmmmm AUGH

KEVIN AND RADFORD FRIENDSHIP REALLLLLLLLLL i am SO fucking happy about that!!!! Also Kevin having conflicted feelings on the kids FAIR. Similar thing to Roy except hes an adult with a semi-functional support network and is able to understand that theyre just dumb kids and they dont actually mean any harm. He’s harsher on the hatzgang cuz theyre teens and old enough to know stealing is wrong but Skid n Pump are little kiddos they dont know better. Also him disapproving of father gregor REAL THO. also HE GOT POSSESSED TOO?? TRAUMA CENTRAL HOLY SHIT

PATTY DESERVES TO HAVE A GUN ACTUALLY. Also JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST! IS HIS KID DEAD? IS HIS DAUGHTER OK HOLY SHIT. ALSO THEM HELPING THE KIDS PROPERLY IM CRYIG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

WHAT WAS EVERMORE DOING WITH THE HOBOMEN???? HELLO??????

I SAW THAT CULT NECKLACE UNDER IGNACIOS SHIRT. I FUCKING SAW IT. CALLED IT BITCH!!!!!!

Rick just has the WORST luck lmao

STREBER IS ALIVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DEXTER NO PLEASE AUGH…… HIS MOM TOO……

JAUNE AND ROSS’S DAD… HE'S REAL HE EXISTS!! I get ur trying jaune but that is NOT the best way to comfort poor lila… AT LEAST SHES TRYING THO I APPRECIATE HER

THE ENTIRE NEWGROUNDS ENDING?? THE THIEVES AND THE CANDY DEALER IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CULT???? HELLO??????

MOLOCH IS GONE. he deserved it but also THE KIDS ARE SO SAD ABOUT IT? Like they don't really get it but they just watched someone they thought was their friend DIE. HOLY SHIT.

finally. SKID AND PUMP. KIDDOS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok for real tho theyre so much more self aware than the fandom and bulk of the show give them credit for?? Like Skid is VERY aware of his dad being dead/possibly missing and legit just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He knows what death is and he finds fun in it to cope. My poor sweet boyo… and PUMP. PUMP ANSWERING THE CALL AUGHHHHHH HE WANTS HIS PARENTS BACK IM CRYING. SUSIE AND ABUELO ARE DOING THEIR BEST AND HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Also him getting possessed by Moloch while having Star-Eyes basically debunks the theory of the Star-Eyes being a form of possession which is FASCINATING. Anyway that scene with Susie and Pump got me misty eyed and then during the ending with Skid and Lila i actually genuinely started crying. I just want them to be happy. Please let them be happy. Please. PLEASE.

#spookymisc.txt #spooky month #spooky month 6 #spooky month 6 spoilers #sm6 #sm spoilers #not tagging all the characters cuz theres too many mentioned #anyway CRYING.

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roomofshroom · 2 years ago

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my kyman headcanons (18+)

i love others' headcanons so i thought id share my own <3 these are mostly 18+ but not all of them are!! if you dont agree w some of them its ok its mostly for fun!!

hey there's a part 2 !!!!

kyle would mostly call eric cartman and eric would try to secretly find ways to get him to call him eric more

when kyle does occasionally call cartman by his first name it's when they're getting intimate so eric associates kyle calling him by his first name with sexy times and then gets ...excited anytime kyle says his name which makes for some very funny situations

they would hide that they're in a relationship for the first few weeks but their friends would have their suspicions anyways bc they're not fucking blind and the way eric looks at kyle just says it all (not stan tho, mfer is blind af)

they would tease each other, name call each other in front of their friends and their fights would get very heated but for different reasons than others have in mind

cartmans a little brat and enjoys when kyle gets angry so much he purposely makes him angry in front of their friends, just for them to dissappear and angrily make out in a closet or somewhere secluded

stan would be oblivious to that and call cartman an asshole for getting kyle mad and then he'd worry ab his best friend when he suddenly dissappears w/o a trace

kyle doesn't want to admit it but he likes it when eric tries to get him riled up and sometimes he even exaggerates his angry reactions just to see eric get those excited sparks in his eyes

when they finally tell their friends they're together stan throws up (mf was oblivious the whole time), kenny asks them VERY personal questions ab positions they've done together, butters is happy for them and congratulates them, craig says he had known the whole entire time ('you guys are so blindingly fucking gay it's making my eyes hurt'), tweek would hand him 5 dollars (mfers made a bet out of it), clyde would say to tolkien that he's worried ab them checking him out and tolkien would just tell him to stfu bc 'being gay doesnt mean they wanna fuck you, no one wants to fuck you, clyde'

now that everyone knows, eric would brag to everyone ab not being a virgin anymore and jokingly try to go into details ab their sex life which kyle would VERY QUICKLY shut down and blush the entire time

eric now calls stan a virgin million times a day, asks him if hes jealous that hes 'getting that sweet sweet jewish ass' and constantly remind him that hes 'fucking his best friend nya nya nya hahaha' while kyle tells him to stfu

eric gets a stupid fucking tattoo 3 month into the relationship something like a fucking arrow pointing to his ass saying 'kyle was here' or i dont fucking know, anyways kyle would hate it and call him fucking insane

when kyle finds himself in a deep convo w anyone else thats not their friend or eric himself, eric always interrupts to make SURE they know kyle's HIS man so 'don't try to steal my man bitch' while he snaps his fingers and leaves w a dramatic hair whip (nonexistent long hair)

eric would be very veeeeery clingy while kyle would get slightly controlling sometimes just to quickly realize and get mad at himself (eric loves it when kyle's controlling and jealous so he doesn't mind)

eric would cry and whine about the dumbest shit ever ('mom said im not allowed my xbox bc i keep yelling at others in the game to kill themselves waaa khal, isnt she such a fucking bitch?') and kyle has to comfort him bc 'that's his boyfriend duty', kyle would call him a fucking crybaby which would only cause cartman to cry louder forcing kyle to shut him up somehow (maybe with a kiss)

#kyman #kyman headcanons #kyle x eric #kyle x cartman #sp kyman #sp kyle broflovski #sp eric cartman #south park headcanons

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the-s1lly-corner · 11 months ago

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Caine and kinger x reader with ADHD

Caine and Kinger x reader w/ ADHD

yahoo!! gonna knock out some requests today !! this is gonna be based off of my own experiences btw !! not much else i can think to put in this authors note so! ill just get on with it note from the future, little longer than i intended but thats mostly because admin started relating TOO much wuh-oh

CAINE:

caine is honestly really good about keeping you on track when theres a task at hand. i dont know about you, but i tend to wander about when im working on something; to check on something else repeatedly then coming back to what needs to be done and just go back and forth.(shit im even doing it now, the getting up and checking on things thing even though i know the thing is fine/complete) i like to think that caine would be pretty okay at making sure you get the thing you need/want to do done! i dont think theres meds in the digital world, i mean yeah sure you can ask for them but since theyre digital theyre not going to actually. do anything. but lets say in a hypothetical au where this all takes place in the real world and caine is a real person, he would make sure you take them consistently and on time. honestly this hc isnt really part of the ask but; i generally like to think that caine likes to follow routines and schedules as closely as he can... maybe its the ringmaster thing since hes tasked with keeping everything running but... shrugs

very supportive when you make a small mistake in something (like this is just a general thing, though) and isnt too obnoxious with trying to hold or regain your attention is something happens to the side and steals it away. very patient and polite with it, i think

last minute addition because it hit me like a sack of bricks. time blindness. fucking time blindness. you know how i mentioned that caine is good at keeping you on track? i think he would be good with helping you out with that, at least some of it. mostly logging your activities and him keeping an eye on the time (which he already does so its not like an extra habit he needs to pick up.. though if it werent he would pick it up in a heartbeat. literally anything for you, he loves you a lot)

KINGER:

honestly he might start to mimic your stims and fidgets! he doesnt mean to mock you, no i just think he would start to reflect your actions after spending most of his time around you to make sure you're okay! while caine keeps you on track, kinger is likely to go with you when you wander off to check/do something else. really unless its something time sensitive or really important is when hes going to start outwardly reassuring you that the other thing is fine. honestly, in an au with the real world i was originally going to say he would have a chance of forgetting to help remind you/ask if you took your meds (if you take them) but i think he would take stuff like that way too seriously to even DARE forget. like yeah sure you're not going to d1e if you forget to take them for a single day but still. he'd probably be like this with any meds tbh, so if you're prone to forgetting youll be fine as long as you have kinger around! gibes you pillows for fidget stuff, if you are feeling restless. or perhaps even goes on a walk with you around the circus grounds. like idk about yall, or if this is something completely unrelated, but my legs HURT when i sit too still. like down to the bone, if i dont get up every now and then its agony; sleeping is hell and on days its worse than others (like im talking sometimes i need to be in near constant movement) (also jerky arms and legs) (anyways)

also very polite with returning your attention to where it needs to be but honestly given that kinger himself is shown to space out at least twice in the pilot i think sometimes you guys both get side tracked and struggle to remember and/or get back into the flow of what you were originally doing

ponders

tldr; caine keeps you more on track with schedules whereas kinger embraces your flow a little more but both are respectful of things and dont really make you feel less than + remind you to take care of yourself

#tadc x reader #the amazing digital circus x reader #digital circus x reader #caine x reader #kinger x reader

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saltygilmores · 7 months ago

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 3, Episode 8, Part 4: "Let The Games Begin", the part where Lorelai says that if Jess was trapped inside her burning house she would save her shoes first

Lorelai Gilmore, you are no Jack Pearson. I won't complete that thought, even though I'm feeling nice and mean and I totally should.

Scene: Lorelai and Rory are discussing the upcoming road trip to New Haven with the Gilmore Grands. Rory forgot to pack. Lorelai goes into panic mode. Rory questions why she needs to pack her entire closet for a short road trip. Lorelai recounts a family vacation story from her childhood that would be best unpacked in a lengthy therapy session, frets that her mother will lecture them for under-packing, starts rummaging through Rory's dresser. Rory catches Lorelai making a double entendre about a meaty taco and declares it was dirty. The show makes another dig at New Haven after Lorelai brings home a pamphlet about Exciting Things to Do In New Haven but it's only a few pages long.

You sound surprised, as if ya'll aren't wearing heavy coats and long sleeves in the spring and summer. I swear there's something in the drinking water affecting everyone's thyroids in this town, they can't regulate their body temperatures.

Could anyone tell I'm stalling here? Classic Salty.

Rory: Mom, stop rummaging through my shit. Awwwe. Even Evil Villains like Lorelai Gilmore get the blues. I'm surprised she decided to go on this road trip to Yale instead of sending Rory off alone with the Grands, that way she'd have the house and Dean Forrester to herself the entire day. Since Dean's sexual stamina only extends to 1-2 minutes, they could have had sex hundreds of times in a day.

Two quips that sprang to mind (couldn't decided which one was better): The only words Lorelai is thinking about right now are "Dean" and "Shower". Lorelai thinks Jess removed Rory's bracelet while they're in the shower together? Jess could only hope.

Excuse me for a moment... *deep inhale*

I went into the Tumblr gifs library and looked up "peaceful". Here is a nice, presumably not-evil, Peaceful Bunny.

So not only does Jess commit attempted vehicular homicide, and steal Quarters on a String, he steals said QOAS by forcibly ripping them directly off the wrists of poor unsuspsecting delicate young ladies.

Nice try. You think you're so slick, but you're not, Slick Gilly.

You all don't understand the effort it takes for me to break down a scene like this without taking the cowards way out and simply rage quitting (which I have done before). I have to come up with multiple lines of witty, cutting commentary about what is unfolding before me, when all I want to do is KEYBORD SMASH. SO, YOU KNOW WHAT I WILL!! ITS A FREE COUNTRY ISNT IT! BALD EAGLE BASEBALL APPLE PIE! (Deep inhale) sagfshafgahfgasvxzcywtryqwuhajlkansjbkfagsfyafvabsfvsdgr2347527q2y4q#&$T%#^%^#*U@(%)&@tGSHFBSHFSVAGFSFS FUCKYOULORELAIGILMORE#^&#^%&#^WGHFSHGAS@$%@^@

Thank for reminding the audience the reason why Lorelai thinks Jess should, ya know, die painfully and slowly. He was mouthy once. (the Netflix captions borked the line; Rory also said "and wrecked my car", but as if that makes Lorelai's treatment of Future Nephew any more justifable).

I am told that in a later season, Lorelai bemoans the fact that unlike Dean, Jess never offered to change her water bottle for her. NOW WHY WOULD HE DO THAT? YOU'RE ABOUT TO WISH HIM A FIREY DEATH. AND WHEN HE WAS (FORCIBLY) APPOINTED TO CLEAN YOUR GUTTERS YOU DIDN'T WANT HIS HELP..

Lorelai practically moans this, lol. We know "Change the water bottle" can mean two very different things. You ain't so slick, Slick Gilly.

Welcome to Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation Theater! See, here's the thing Slick Gilly, I watched an entire frigging episode about you accusing Jess of being a thief, it was called Lost and Found and it took me four frigging centuries to finish, I'm quite sure I have concrete evidence that you have accused him of stealing things. I am Jess Mariano's defense attorney and I will see you in court. Bring Rory too, she should also start getting used to what a court room looks like.

Rory, honey. Sweetie. Sugar bear. It's best you don't wish for a crystal ball. Just strap in to the rollercoaster that is dating Jess Mariano while living with your mother, and pray.

See, here's the thing Slick Gilly, I watched an entire frigging episode about you not letting Jess enter your house, it was called Swan Song and it will take me four frigging centuries to rewatch it.

This "Jess talks in grunts" shtick is getting old and moldy.

So not only does Jess commit attempted vehicular homicide, steal Quarters on a String, and steal said QOAS by forcibly ripipng them directly off the wrists of poor unsuspsecting delicate young ladies, but he's also an arsonist, and not only is he an arsonist, he's such a bad one that he'll apparently be killed by his handiwork? (he also can't be trusted to clean gutters). He was probably trying to off himself instead of live in Stars Hollow for another minute. Can we recall another time Rory tried to play this same grim hypothetical with her mom? Does Rory, like Jess, also have some kind of firey death wish? I mean, who can blame either of them. *twinkly flashback music to early season 2*

I notice Pigtails didn't say "my daughter" this time, either. Sorry Rory. Maybe try playing a third time until she answers with "Some form of human life." Lorelai lies to Rory's face that she "promised you before and am promising you again that I will cut "this kid" some slack." Alright, I ran through my 30 screen shots, let's stuff this scene in a sack and throw it into the lake with Shane and her swan family.

Rory: "You're just waiting for the day I break up with Jess." Lorelai The Villain: "Did I like Dean? Yes. Did I worry less when you were with dean? Yes! I never expected you to be with Dean forever. I don't expect you to be with Jess forever." What a pile of rancid baloney. Maybe he won't be with Rory forever, but 13 years later Jess becomes her nephew and will be a part of her family forever and I will never, ever, ever stop loving that. What JUSTICE.

When I hit my lowest of low valleys listening to this wretched woman spew her many lies and Gilly-Nonsense, It's often the only thing that makes me smile.

#jess mariano #literati #gilmore girls #denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 3 #let the games begin #ltgb #now I just have to suffer through the ridiculous shit fit she has at Yale

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sallyface4everimmarriedto · 6 months ago

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JJK x Filia<3 reader

Filia!Reader is the protective type especially when it comes to Yuji, Nobara, and Megumi mostly Yuji cuz ya know vessels stick together

#VESSELLIVESMATTER

Anyway they try their best to stay away from Gojo cuz much to her dismay he talked so much he purposely turned off his infinity just to get a rise out of Samson literally allowed Samson to punch him to see if the punch would be soft like normal hair or would it feel like an actual fist

(Learned that it was worse then a fist and soft hair it felt like sandpaper attached to a metal slide in the hot sun during the summer with blades)

Now with yuji and sukuna yuji and Filia!Reader get along very well basically inseparable they're like fraternal twins if you were to to describe these to with two worded quotes it would be "Rev Up!" And "Power Up! " but...theres always a down side because DAMN SURE THAT SAMSON AND SUKUNA DONT LIKE EACH OTHER theres a difference between these two

one actually cares for their vessel how they feel if they're alright mentally physically psychologically.....WHILE THE OTHER is literally reckless at all times he keeps his vessel alive just because hes interested in his life and everything thats been going on recently and literally its all ENTERTAINMENT FOR HIM

Yes he's killed his vessel a couple of times out of pure boredom yes he'll do it again he doesnt care at all as long as he's entertained he doesnt care how his vessel feels at all SHIT HE'LL EVEN KILL HIS FRIENDS JUST TO GET THAT GOOD ASS ASMR IN HIS EARS OF HIS VESSEL CRYING this mans evil-

Now with nobara....there isnt much to say these two definitely steal gojos black card to go on shopping sprees and photo shoots in the mall its not like gojos gonna miss it this man is literally rich with an end pretty sure he wont even recall its missing because he definitely doesnt keep receipts with all the stuff he buys so nobara and Filia!Reader literally have a never ending wardrobe full of clothes for every FUCKING SEASON fashionably spicefied<3

It may seem like megumi and Filia!Reader dont really talk much at all but they bond over the animals they can make Filia!Reader admires the animals hes able to make that she cant even the she Mostly makes bug shapes with her hair and they wouldn't really count as animals besides the octopus samson turns into its still a thing to talk about now samson loves to pet megumi's divine dogs

and so does Filia!Reader they love to cuddle with them and just relax and sleep after a long day even though Megumi is and emo boi and loves to be left alone he still enjoys Filia!Reader's company anytime shes around

Now...interaction with sukuna...he would just come up with any type of insult and they would just go over her head this one of the reasons why he and samson have a lot of beef because of the way he disrespects both vessel's thats basically keeping parts of them both alive

samson thinks they both should be grateful for that because they're not even trying to kick them out of their bodies but yuji is actually doing the most and willingly trying to find all 20 of sukunas fingers and sukunas selfish ass cant even be grateful for that always talking about fighting and Threatening his friends and sensei's for no literal reason at all what a giant piss baby.....yeah so samson doesn't like interaction with sukuna

Just like how samson doesnt like interaction with sukuna he also doesnt like interaction with gojo literally just because he thinks hes a creep and annoying as hell he would literally call him "stalker grandpa" or "flashlight eyed geezer" or "weezer geezer"

literally anything he can think of thats just in any way calling him old he was said to gojo and i quote "when you were born your hair said 90 but your face said vampirism of 1000 plagues nothing will ever destroy me" this man? Curse? Parasite? Thing?

Anyway he just does not like gojo now he can tolerate everyone else but he mostly tolerates yuji because its like having a second Filia!Reader only thing about yuji samson doesnt like is sukuna he is commited to hating him so much hes labelled as an op in the books theres is a lot of dann hate

Now for the finale on who Filia!Reader favorite adult who basically babysits her and the rest of the group sometimes ISSSSSSSSSS drumroll pls T-T 🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁🥁

Nanami because once they were out looking for a curse ended up being a lower grade the sneaky stealing and energy deceiving kind would make themselves seem like a big deal so they can steal from sorcerers mushroomed shaped tiny has stub arms and legs dots for eyes no mouth these things are no use to even kill one because waste of time and two they're help with the environment plants and animals type of stuff

so when one snatchs nanami's tie to bring it to a foxes den to add to a pile to keep them warm and Filia!Reader goes after it to get the tie back for nanami even though he tried to tell to forget about it but she ran off to fast so she finally cornered the thing near the den she decided to give up her tie in exchange for nanami's in which worked

so she went back to nanami with his tie in hand and found herself the one to be tieless he let her keep it due to having so many of the same tie in which he received and big hug and a warm smile

When all together when fighting a stronger and sorcerers get injured Filia!Reader uses samson to make a dome shield or carries a bunch of people out of the fight and gets them to shoko so nobody else has to worry about how the injured would get to her

and they can just keep fighting knowing that people are getting healed and are in safety as much as samson doesnt really like doing that because he doesn't know the people but he does know that he needs to because of their state and if his vessels motivated to do it then so is he

Thats one of them off my list (๑´̥̥̥>ω<̥̥̥`๑) i hope you enjoyed this vote so i can see if you would want more stuff like this and send any request if you want have a part to or side drabbles also did you see the little nanami ties on the little Filia!Reader? ;3

#jjk x poc!reader #jjk x reader #jjk headcanons #gojo satoru #yuji itadori #nobara kugisaki #ryomen sukuna #skullgirls #x reader #black reader #x black reader

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tomwaterbabies · 1 year ago

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@the-diabolic-acid this was going to be way too long to put under my art so it's here now lol

per-requisite is having vague knowledge on disney's pixie hollow fairies. yknow how it is

both these guys are tinker talent fairies. yes. why is varian Not wearing green tinker garb well thats because he got kinda lost but its ok. hes clumsy

hugo is pretty cynical and jaded about his lot in life. he spent all this time working with lost things and doing alchemy but other fairies (the fairies in canon) were the ones rewarded for going against the norm and all that (this is a very simple summary but yeah)

so fuck that he wants something greater than pixie hollow. ogughhh but that leads to him working for PIRATES (gasp!)

basically he helped steal the second pixie dust tree to give to the pirates (donella and crew) while also stealing blue pixie dust for them (powerful stuff). in return he gets some good access to materials n stuff

of course the fairies of pixie hollow send out scouts n shit to try and find the tree. who cares though. he thinks the scouts are stupid lol

but then some goody-goody tinker fairy puts together his own naive search for it. that would be varian. who is smart. he is worried about this one

he joins the search to try and keep varian and crew away from finding the tree

you know what happens. he starts becoming best friends with varian. he starts falling in love with him. he starts becoming a more hopeful and optimistic person etc etc

he learns that varian isnt just some goody goody fairy. he's actually also someone who has spent his life being different and struggling- also messing with alchemy and lost things and all that stuff. but yet he's still just... So Good. waugh

yeah so. eventually he just wants to call off the search bc he does NOT want to put his friends in harm's way via donella. the pixie dust tree donella has will die without his help so he just wants to leave her in favor of his new friends (and donella doesnt have access to pixie hollow so like whatever lets just leave it)

varian of course does NOT want to just give up wtf. and yeah some misunderstandings happen or whatever like you get it. he thinks hugo has betrayed them

but its ooooook. eventually. they stop donella etc etc etc

they kiss

ASIDE FROM THE PLOT. they're both alchemists still in this au. they mess with lost things and pixie dust and other materials. theyre both weird and eccentric but thats ok. building insane inventions and such. besties

#varigo #vat7k #fairy au

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crushedsweets · 1 year ago

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in your au, what kinds of people do the different pastas target?

HIIII ok omg im literally working on my little website w all the info rn so i love this ask..

operator targets vulnerable people he can use 2 get out of the forest

slenderman targets whoever the operator took control of so he can """save""" them (moreso redirect them..) tim, brian, toby, and kate focus purely on keeping cryptids within the forest + humans out of it. tim brian and toby will also seek out people in nearby cities/counties who are way too into the paranormal and will stalk them, scare them off, steal their evidence, etc. they only kill people if necessary (but toby and kate are guilty of getting carried away when its totally not necessary) natalie started by treating it as a form of 'therapy' and related it back to her childhood abuse, so prob wealthier abusive men/older boys.. but she's kinda having like a terrifying revelation of how fucked up she's making her life so .

jack doesn't kill (he takes what jeff and others bring him) BUT if they're not bringing him anything for a long time, he'd target grown/tall adults cuz. more meat.. bigger organs.. lasts longer. some weird logic (and he feels less guilty if theyre like middle age)

sally doesnt desire and isnt capable of killing, but she will sometimes haunt houses with newborn babies . jus cuz she likes babies and thinks shes protecting them even tho it scares the living shit out of the families

ben also doesn't kill but he HAUNTS THE FUUUCK out of people. usually kids/teens cuz its funnier that way and nobody believes them. he's literally just an internet troll jeff targets women and girls mostly.. he just thinks theyre more fun to chase plus ''''objectively easier to kill'''' and he isn't exactly the epitome of health and strength liu(+sully) jane and nina don't and haven't killed anybody. liu is trying to repress, sully is trying to get shit figured out, jane wants jeff in prison, and nina is just chronically online and got caught stalking liu so she got roped into their problems + eventually the operator

there's other characters i wanna put in like helen and dina and ann and whatever bc i feel like natalies really out of place in this story so i think more like her balance it out, but i don't want to clutter it too much so yk..

#ty for ask omg #hcs #SHOUTS I LOVE TALKING #chatterbox #creeped

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owlbeanies · 2 months ago

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A quick rundown of the naruto fanfic i've been rotating around my brain for the past couple of months.

More or less during the kanabi mission Obito gets yoinked instead of Rin. She unable to convince Kakashi to halt the mission to save him, and by the time they complete it-- its too late. The trail has gone cold. everyone assumes he's dead...

He isnt.

Obito is now a prisoner of war. He spends not an insignificant amount of time in an enemy prison, dreaming of the day of his escape. He makes multiple plans but security is tight and he knows damn well he will never walk out that gate on his own.

So he sets his sights to plan B. Whats plan B? Desperately trying to recreate the hiraishin so he can quite literally throw himself out of there.

unfortunately Obito doesn't really know jack shit about seals. He had basic sealing lessons sure-- but do you really think his adhd ass retained any of it? No. And whats worse is that he doesn't really remember the make up of the hirashin either. Like he knows the general shape of it. He could probably fake a decent look-alike, but that doesn't help in the function department.

Well... thanks to vast amounts of stress (and more than just threats a of torture) he succeeds! He makes a seal that actually works and escapes.

Through a long string of events he ends up running into(and subsequently helping) a few akasuki memebers. He ends up joining because they're hiding him, and if he doesn't his ass is going back to prison.

His environment is far from stable considering he(an uchiha) is in a war torn RAIN, but at least he can breath a little. He takes the chance to smooth out some of the kinks in his cool new Hiraishin recreation. This catches the attention of multiple people, with the rain trio being some of them. They decide to swing by just to see what all the hubbub is about in regard to their newest member.

Obito is bragging, and is absolutely showing off his cool new technique.

amazed they ask him how it works.

Obito shows them.

Nagito takes one fucking looks at that seal, kneels over, and dies(not really).

Yahiko is confused. Where is the seal? Obito points. Yahiko stares.

Now let it be known that Yahiko isnt exactly the most knowledgeable person when it comes to seals, but he was trained by Jiraiya. And by gods is that not a fucking seal. He tells Obito so. That is the most chicken-scratch scribble of nothing he has ever laid eyes upon.

Obito is offended.

It is too a seal! and look he says, it has many other features that the hiraishin doesn't have which makes it even better. Such as exploding when he forces too much chakra into it.

Yahiko points out that he could just attach a paper-bomb to his kunai. In fact doing so would not only be less draining but also better in every imaginable way.

Obito disagrees, for the coolness factor of his seal far outweighs that of a paper-bomb.

Yahiko points out that his seal doesn't have a locking mechanism. There's nothing stopping anyone from stealing the kunai and using it without Obito's permission.

Well, Obito clicks his tongue because he how dare he, the amount of chakra that must be used is extremely finicky. If they don't use the exact amount of chakra it wont work, as you can see from it exploding from being overloaded.

what happens if not enough chakra is applied?

well... obito has never tried. So he cant say for certain. But if he had to hazard a guess its nothing good. (they are violently torn apart and only maybe put back together in a somewhat correct order depending on how much chakra is being used.)

Needless to say no one wants anything to do with Obito's cool new seal anymore...

#The gag is that the seal is an affront to god #By all known laws of nature it should not work and the fact it does must be some kind of cosmic joke #Every single person who hears about it and goes “well is cant be THAT bad”#only to be proven horrifically wrong every time #naruto shippuden #obito uchiha #rambles #vague fic ideas #uchiha obito

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s3a-s1ug · 1 year ago

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Mmm after 3 seperate breakdowns with 20 minute breaks in between im in questionable mood, my eyes are still burning from tears so i will use my fragile state of mind to request a fear and hunger nsfw scenerio... fic... thing?

How about Ragnvaldr × Cahara? I know its a joke in the fandom that Cahara is a size queen for all the fucked up reasons you can imagine, but from the ingame art to fanart, he seems kinda like a hoe ngl. I know he has a wife but come on, let a girl dream. Basically the fic would be in the canon setting of the game, and the two would meet as normal, but Ragnvaldr notices that Cahara attempted to steal his shit. However, instead of getting mad and kicking Cahara on his merry way in the dungeon, he decides to keep a close eye on him. The dungeon is a dangerous place and its always good to have more hands for weapons.

One thing leads to another, you'll be the judge of that, and they end up sharing a bed. And Cahara once again proves himself to be untrustworthy by feeling around in Ragnvaldr's pockets. But what he touches isnt his pocket, unfortunately.

God I hate myself. Its 4 am, i need to sleep

Oh and also happy christmas

“The Thief’s Tricks”

Cahara x Ragnvaldr Fic - Part One

༺☆༻

THIS REQUEST SAVED ME!!! This is actually so fun. The next part should be out soon! I’m that case enjoy!!! …and merry Christmas to you too..? Time is a construct I guess.

༺☆༻

The prisons. The heavy oppressive nature of the sights to be seen in there would shake anyone to their core. Bloodied empty prison cells captured the true horrors of what happened to its unfortunate prisoners. All for except one.

“…hey…hey big guy..!”

Ragnvaldr stopped in his tracks and locked into the prison cell. A man with dark messy hair on the other side. He seemed to be in shape but he looked very tired. Bags under his eyes. He gave a tired smile

“Look.. I’ll give it to you straight… I’m in a tough one here and I could REALLY use your help. You look strong. You think you could get me outta here..?” He asked with a hint of desperation in his voice

Ragnvaldr analyzed the man on the other side of the bars. Could he be trusted?…then again…the dungeons are very dangerous and it could be better to traverse them with some help…

“Hmm… what is your name?”

“Cahara..! Of the south.”

“Ragnvaldr. If I were to help you out of here you will have to help me too.”

“Oh?”

“I am on a quest to find a person..and kill him. He is long way down these dungeons so if you are willing I could use the help.”

The mercenary didn’t even give himself time to think and answered immediately

“Yeah sure! I’ll help. I’d say I’m a pretty useful asset. Im a mercenary so I think I could be of good help.

Ragnvaldr only nodded in agreement. He held the bars of the cell. They were rusty and worn out but sturdy enough to keep someone from getting out. He gripped the bars and slowly separated two of them to make an opening for Cahara to get out.

“Woah…damn…you ARE strong..!” He said in awe. A little intimidated even.

“Ja. But you must promise me one thing. You will not deceive me. Since I have helped you, you must return the favor.” He held out his hand for Cahara to shake

“Yeah sure thing”

Cahara shook his hand then brought him into…a hug..?

“I can’t thank ya enough, man. I mean it”

Ragnvaldr was taken aback by this. He swore he felt something in his pocket but before he could react Cahara pulled off from the hug and smiled

“Well I’d assume you know the way?”

“U-uh ja. Follow me” He said with a hint of confusion. He was still cautious mainly due to Cahara’s “off” vibe.

They walked for a bit trying to find their way out of the prisons. Multiple corners were turned in silence. Ragnvaldr went to grab for something in his pocket but…it was gone… he stopped in his tracks. Cahara, who was pretty far behind him now, stopped us well, pretty taken aback.

“Cahara.” Ragnvaldr said sternly, not looking at him

Cahara seemed nervous

“Uh, yeah..?”

“Give it back. You took it.”

“Took what? I wouldn’t steal anything from you. Uh promise! I’m here to help after all heh”

Ragnvaldr turned around and looked at Cahara. He walked up to him and grabbed Cahara’s wrist.

“Give. It. Back.” He squeezed Cahara’s wrist tightly while giving him a stern glare

Cahara gulped. He was in a tight spot. Cahara was in no way weak. He had a fine build and could try to fight back but… that probably wouldn’t last long.

Cahara sighed. He shuffled through his pocket using his other hand and grumbled pulling the vials out and giving them to Ragnvaldr

He let go of Cahara’s wrist

“You made a promise. Next time I won’t be so forgiving. As it may seem I actually need to help. So don’t try this again”

Cahara nodded silently, clearly getting the message.

“You will walk by my side. You’re very sneaky. This will not happen again.”

Ragnvaldr turned around again and continued walking with Cahara catching up to his side silently

‘Damn this guy is tough. Really tough. I don’t want to stay here but I did promise… if there was just a way I could find to leave…hmm’

They walked for a good long while, encountered some enemies, nothing too bad, but it was beginning to get grueling

Cahara yawned and groaned loudly

“Ughhhh… man how long have we been walkin for? My legs are starting to sore….”

“…hmm…ja I suppose we have been walking for… a while” Ragnvaldr didn’t say it but even he was starting to feel tired “well perhaps there is a room nearby, keep a look out”

They walked for another long while until reaching a small stone room. Wasn’t much in it. A tattered rug, cabinet with some old drinks, and one singular bed. Cahara slightly glanced at Ragnvaldr

“Soooo…um… should I like… sleep on the floor? Or..”

“Nej, we will share it. We both need rest. We will make do”

“Oh..! Alright then”

This was certainly gonna be…interesting.

To be continued…

༺☆༻

Next part will be NSFW muahahah so stayed tuned!!!!

☆〜（ゝ。∂）

#fear and hunger #funger #gaming #ragnvaldr #rpg #cahara fear and hunger #f&h #f&h ragnvaldr #fear and hunger termina #f&h cahara #fanfic #part one #headcanon #fear and hunger ragnvaldr

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