#as i was processing transitioning and how i want to be seen socially

[peri]

ive decided to drop the bigender label. originally i used it dual-wielding being a guy and agender at the same time or at fluctuating times coz i wanted to be perceived a certain way ... but ive decided that ultimately i am just agender, one who would prefer to be treated like a guy socially, but in safe spaces can be agender in peace. i like masc terms still, but i am not too fond of being called a man exactly anymore. guy, dude, boy, husband, boyfriend, etc are all good still though.

i am back to where i was like 3-4 years ago: just some agender guy. i had the right idea.

[rustbeltbabey]

boo hoo sad pity party posting hours LMAO but I rlly truly don't think I will ever be in another relationship again. I don't feel that I will every b desirable or deserving enough, and I don't feel like I will ever even b seen as a guy n idk. I just don't know.

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[catboybiologist]

So.

Re: tumblr bans of transfemmes.

Let's ignore PhotoMatt for a moment. Manbaby tech CEO doubling down on a stupid decision and making himself look like more of an ass doing so is not a new phenomena.

Tumblr has consistently said, in both public statements and leaked internal communication, that they're essentially running a skeleton crew.

They keep saying that they don't have the resources to moderate, manually review posts, have any kind of appeal process, or anything. So, as people have widely received communications about, they seemed to have automated a significant portion of the moderation to operate solely on the quantity of reports (probably with a basic filter, eg quantity of reports regarding a certain post, within a certain timeframe) to automatically ban or shadowban accounts.

And so, they wipe their hands, both to the users, the public, and their own consciousness, and go about their automated operations.

All of this is likely true. Tumblr, at this point, is essentially abandonware internally, a kind of weird vanity project/dumpster ground for server infrastructure for Automattic. Likely, they don't want the bad press of "shutting down" fully. Or maybe the trickle of revenue they get here just barely exceeds operating costs, so why not keep it around?

Whatever is the case, the bans are a result of an automated process working in the background. I'm giving them some benefit of the doubt here, of course, we can't know anything for certain- but it seems like the individual bans are not based on any specific, manual action.

And that doesn't fucking excuse anything.

Because at some point, multiple people sat down at tumblr, and decided how to cut costs.

And they decided that the bare minimum of report abuse prevention was one of the first things on the chopping block.

Before the boops. Before GUI reconfigures.

They decided to cut something that is necessary to manage online communities.

They decided to cut something that ensures any targeted group will have any kind of community online.

And then, after all of that, the only manual intervention is doubling down on the shitty decisions that the automated systems make, and plucking reasons out of their ass for why they were the right decisions all along.

It's pure silicon valley brain. Blame the computer often and always. Use it to shield the active decisions you made when designing the computer that way. Treat it as a fact of life as opposed to something they actively made decisions for.

Is tumblr staff hitting the banhammer on each transfemme one by one? No.

Is tumblr staff deliberately crafting a system that allows TERFs and other conservative bigots to get rid of the "undesirables" for them? Yup. But they sure as hell are trying to not say the quiet part out loud. If they can always point the finger somewhere else, to the advertisers, to the automated systems, to the TERFs, then they can always have juuusssttt enough plausible deniability.

But being the "queerest place on the internet" requires concious acknowledgement that queer people will be targets of harassment, and you will have to protect against that.

Side note, this is why I do try to keep my blog at least somewhat SFW. Its one of the main reasons why I choose not to reblog all of the posts I'm tagged in- if the post is overtly NSFW, I've probably seen it, appreciated it, and consciously decided my level of interaction with it mostly based on how "tumblr friendly" it is. Is that bowing down to them? A little. It's also my choice. I value the community I have here. The pushes that y'all have given me gave me the strength to transition, and honestly gives me a lot of motivation to research HRT biology as much as I can, among many other things.

Yeah, I post pictures that are clearly meant to be found attractive in ways that are generally not socially acceptable , but never actual NSFW. I would like to think that I'm pretty safe from bans, but hey. Who knows. I don't want to lose my follower base, and the community around it.

And yeah, I'm gonna annoyingly remind you of the other places to find me, make sure to check my pin. If you don't know where to go, just find me on reddit and go from there, I'll post about it if anything happens.

[zerosuitsammi3]

If I can take a moment to share my experience as a trans woman on the internet

My experience is by no means unique, it's just one experience in the plethora of trans feminine experiences and not unique to only tumblr. Though, I'll mostly talk about what I've experienced here. In the light of recent events, the reaction of "the ceo," and the comments he contributed regarding dog pile harassment; I simply wish to share my experiences that I have had to juxtapose the dynamic of his statements against a lived experience.

This account started as a way to document my social transition and eventually my journey with HRT. Tumblr had always had a large lgbtqia+ community. The queer people here inspired me and gave me hope. What I didn't know, but soon learned, is that there were people here who hated me for being trans. Being early in my transition I was a prime target. TERF groups would plan raids on my account. What this entailed was: rebloging my selfies into circles that would say the most vile things about me, threaten to kill, tell me I was ugly, tell me that everyone I knew thought I was a joke, I was a monster, my family hated me, that I should kill myself, they'd download and edit my photos into caricatures or depictions of violence. They would fill my ask box with hundreds of asks detailing how they'd kill me, call me slurs, describe the ways that I should kill myself, and pretty much everything else I mentioned above with the reblogs. Their words were carefully curated to try and break me, break my spirit, break my will to live. I tried reporting it. But it was impossible to keep up with, and like many others I saw no real response. Eventually I learned that I had to block all of them. 100's of blogs, eventually 1000's of blogs. My block list these days is incredibly extensive. I had to wade through their blogs, traverse sickening hate speech and imagery to eliminate entire circles of people harassing me. I became jaded to the hate speech, hardened to it. But mind you, I shouldn't have had to expose myself to all of this just to be at peace here amongst my community. I received no help, I was left to my own devices to protect myself. The people who hurt me never saw consequences. It was painful, it was unfair, and no one else should have to put the hours upon hours of effort and exposure to hate in to protect themselves like I did. But again my experience is not unique.

I have had to repeat this process of preemptive blocking periodically once a new circle discovers me. Blocking them all before they can start the process of hate all over again. A process of hate that seems to be hitting my community with rapidly increasing fervor as of late.

I've seen others experience far worse than me. The TERF circles will hunt down their personal information and doxx them. Expose their home address, telephone numbers, names of their family members. I can't begin to imagine the terror my queer siblings must feel when someone tells then that they want to murder them all while showing them that they know where you live. This is not a new thing, not a rare tactic, it happens. And we've all seen the news stories of trans people being murdered by people who planned it and were vocal about it.

I know this is depressing. And it doesn't reflect all of my experiences. I've had wonderful experiences here, met amazing people, made close friends, found inspiration, found hope. I found a community.

And it's my community, and I never want to let it go.

I do have fear that making this statement will get me banned. But, I wanted to say it. I wanted it to exist in the world so that everyone who doesn't know our experiences has a chance to understand and with luck empathize.

I'll part on these words and hope for the best both for myself and for every member of the community.

[homunculus-argument]

hey there! this sounds like a bit of a silly question, but as a trans guy, you’re one of the few trans people i’ve been following almost since i joined tumblr, so based on your other anon ask and answer i figured i’d pop in and ask if you have any advice? if you want to answer, ofc :) — i foresee this being a bit long, so i totally get if not

so i’m also a trans guy, but i haven’t been able to take any steps toward medical transitioning before since i live with my parents. but i’ll move out soon, and i still can’t decide if i should take any of these steps even once i do. i’ve never felt like i particularly wanted to medically transition (i don’t really care about how my body looks + i’ve never really cared about changing any of it), but i would like to be seen a guy — i don’t mind if not so by strangers, but maybe so by like, my friends. but i can’t help but feel like i’d be laughed at for wanting that — i’m not naturally androgynous or masculine looking to others and i have never been mistaken for a guy, because i have really long hair, d cups, and curves. and without medically transitioning, i also kinda feel like i’m… betraying the trans community, since i’m not really putting the effort into my transition and so i’m just ‘pretending’, even though i do know i’m not.

so my question would be: as a trans person who has transitioned, socially and medically, do you think people are more understanding than i think they are currently? do you know of any trans people who don’t want to medically transition, and do you think it’s possible to live fulfilled that way? or even: do you think it would be easier for someone like me to just live a lie? i usually tell people i’m a lesbian, because they definitely would not look at me and assume ‘straight guy’, but also, as a trans person who doesn’t want to medically transition, i’m just always worried that i won’t be taken seriously. i feel like your experience of being trans and probably interacting with the community is much more than mine, which is why i ask this last one — i would try being open myself, but again, i’m still living with my parents unfortunately.

I'll be honest I don't actually really know much "community" save for former art school classmates. I've only known one trans person irl who chose not to medically transition - at the time, Finland's trans law was still shitty and required sterilisation for legal sex change, and all that. She didn't want kids or anything, but refused to engage in the process as her own little personal civilian protest. I don't want to paint some caricature picture of some Sharp Dommy Tall Scary Goth Trans Anarchist, but I was deeply impressed by the way she didn't do a single thing to try to seem smaller, softer, or in any way submissive or docile to be ~feminine~ the right, socially accepted way.

She wasn't just taller than most men but usually the tallest person in the room, and she stood out in a crowd of cis women like a crane in a chicken coop - a bird just as much as they are, but a different kind of bird. And I remember thinking that I could never do that, being so unflinching and unhesitant about standing out in the crowd because assimilating and muting yourself is beneath your dignity.

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you about being openly trans without transitioning medically, save for that it takes more guts than being able to just go stealth. I had physical dysphoria about the way my body was, and was desperate to get top surgery just for the sake of my own physical comfort, and I like the convenient anonymity of being able to just be Just Some Guy who doesn't attract anyone's interest or curiosity.

It's a smart move to not come out to your parents before you're out of their house and not relying on them for anything - this is something everyone should use their own judgement for, but I stress it to every queer kid to not take the risk if there's any chance that they'll react poorly while they still have power over you. But living your whole life in the closet - "living a lie" is a good way to put it - will corrode you from the inside.

It's better to live in peace with yourself and against the world, than in peace with the world against yourself. There is absolutely nothing in your power that you could do to change the minds of people who have already decided that they don't respect you, and if they try telling you that they would, if you only met their approved criteria, they are lying. That's bait they're dangling in front of you, and there's no "earning" the respect of such people.

Stay true to yourself and be good to people, and you'll have the respect of people who are capable of respecting you. Don't waste your time and energy on people who won't respect you, every thought and effort you spare them is wasted on them.

[botanicalsword]

What does your Solar Return Chart look like?

I just wanted to check in and jot down some personal observations notes for my Solar Return chart.

How are you feeling so far? ♡

❥❥❥❥

Instagram : @le.sinex

♡̆̈

Self-love is a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance. Embrace the process and be kind to yourself.

ʕ·͡ˑ·ཻʔ♥︎

Venus in 1H - I used to place a strong focus on my appearance, constantly checking myself in the mirror. However, this was not due to an obsession with my own body. Instead, I checked for any transformative changes in order to feel more confident and beautiful.

North Node in 1H - Improve overall well-being and learning to love and accept yourself for who you are. By focusing on your own personal growth and development, you can cultivate a sense of self-love that will radiate outwards and positively impact all areas of your life.

Jupiter in 6H - I was making a career change or upgrading my skills, I aim to learn new things and challenge myself. Seeking out mentors can provide valuable guidance and support as I navigate my new career path.

Sun in 12H - Personality transitions: I have been craving more knowledge and wisdom from books and online resources. However, I feel that there is not enough time to absorb all of this knowledge. As a result, I am searching for more channels to obtain the information I seek.

Moon in 1H - I was in a state of longing for something new and exciting to come into my life; a desire for recognition and the opportunity to make a name for myself. I had been feeling restless and unsure for a while, but determined to make a change. I was craving something different and wanted to reach my goals, but wasn't sure how.

Chiron in 12H - I was struggling with substance abuse, which had been affecting my daily life for quite some time. I knew that I needed to seek help for my mental health issues, which were related to trauma that I had experienced in the past. I understood that this was going to be a challenging journey, but I was determined to take the necessary steps to improve my well-being.

12H stellium - I stayed in a lot and enjoyed my own solitude, detoxing from social media and even taking a break from my network connections. Read a lot of spiritually oriented and self-help books.

Moon in 12H - My depression was a terrifying experience. I felt trapped in hopelessness and despair. The sadness and emptiness were unrelenting, and there was no light at the end of the tunnel. Coping was a struggle, and at times, the darkness consumed me. It was difficult, but I am grateful for the lessons and strength gained.

Pluto in 10H - Struggle to work: too much distractions When become interested in learning about a subject or a new way of organizing information, may experience an intense focus and drive to learn.

Saturn/Moon aspect - I was more sensitive to feedback from teachers or people you admire and respect. I attempted to draw a line to limit myself.

Venus/Saturn aspect - I need to reevaluate my core values in order to better determine how to invest my time and energy in others, including potentially cutting off unnecessary relationships.

Ascendent in Libra - delighted to be surrounded by friends who respect each other's personal space, which makes for a great social circle.

North node/MC aspect - I was experiencing some difficulties with working on publicity and reputation. My lack of experience is making it difficult to develop an effective strategy for promoting my brand and building a positive reputation.

Mars trine moon - experiencing positive outcomes and making progress towards your goals - have the added benefit of feeling emotionally supported by the important people in your life such as friends, family, and colleagues.

❥❥❥❥

This is just my personal take from what I've seen and been through.

Masterlist @botanicalsword

[gyundo]

“My Temptation”

Choi Soobin (Soobin) x Male Reader

SMUT! DNI if under 18

Hyung kink, musk kink, size kink, muscle kink

Plot: Choi Soobin, the most kindest and sweetest person Y/N couldn’t even have dreamt of, walked right into both his heart and his life one fine afternoon. Attraction and love blossom, creating a masterpiece of an evening.

Y/N had always remembered being lonely and feeling neglected for a number of years. His father had always been working to allow a good lifestyle for his son, while his mother, due to not wanting to raise a child, had left him before he could remember.

Y/N, growing up as a child with a father too exhausted to play with him, now was in college, but still living at home. He couldn’t move out because he had nobody but his father, and he also felt lonely due to not being able to make any friends in college. Accustomed to the loneliness, he just didn’t know how to make friends quickly and often stayed away from too much socialization.

While studying in the library one afternoon, Y/N’s eyes were caught by a very handsome stranger. He had never seen him before, but his eyes looked full of purity and cleanliness. His lips, although plump, seemed like they had been painted by the worlds most talented artists. With perfect corners and transition from thick tissue to thin, Y/N realized he had never even seen a girl with such beautiful lips.

His nose, also beautiful and uniquely shaped, attracted him even more, while the smile of the man, who seemed to have solved a particularly difficult problem on his iPad, absolutely stole Y/N’s heart.

Y/N fiercely wanted to bring himself to talk to the boy whose radiating beauty was unmatched, but this was not necessary.

The handsome stranger, having adept peripheral vision, had noticed Y/N looking at him for quite some time. Feeling alone at college himself and looking for friends, he got up and walked to Y/N’s table.

“Hey, can I sit here. You seem a bit lonely?” Soobin questioned, hopefully.

“Um-Uh- Please do. I’m Y/N by the way, I live close by and I’m a sociology major,” the former blurted out. His eyes looked nervous, still processing Soobin’s height and how it added to his already impressive qualities.

Aware of Y/N’s clear attraction to him, Soobin swiftly replied, “Yeah, I’d like to sit next to you too. My name’s Soobin, and I’m a second year music major. You’re handsome, by the way”.

Y/N’s face immediately turned red and he turned away, embarrassed by Soobin’s words but attracted to him even more. Y/N was absolutely flustered that Soobin thought he was handsome, and Y/N felt a strange desire to become very close with him.

Y/N was barely able to study, more focused on the attractive man in front of him, and Soobin caught him staring more than once, winking at him each time. This made Y/N blush even harder, knowing that Soobin knew Y/N was clearly attracted.

Aside from his face, Soobin’s toned arms seemed so perfect to Y/N, they were slender enough to compliment his height, while also clearly looking strong with a decent amount of visible veins. Y/N’s mind wandered as he thought about how Soobin slapping his ass while having sex would hurt because of his strength, but in a good way. He quickly looked up at the man, and Soobin knew Y/N had been fantasizing about him from how long he’d been staring at him.

Soobin wanted to tease Y/N even more, and to do this, he pretended he needed to stretch, leaning back to grab Y/N’s attention before stretching intentionally too far, revealing his abs.

The perfection of the shape of the lower two abs made drool literally come out of Y/N’s mouth, and he wanted to see more.

His ego satisfied by Y/N’s undeniable fascination, Soobin decided not to tease Y/N any further about his drooling.

Y/N said goodbye to Soobin a half-hour later with a heavy heart, as he had to arrive home early for an important matter that his father had asked him to come home early for.

“It’s funny that I have to leave right now, too. Can I get your number?” Soobin questioned Y/N.

Y/N, extremely excited that the older was interested in him, gave him his number and immediately checked all of his social media on the way home to make sure that Soobin wasn’t straight and just playing with him.

To Y/N’s luck, Soobin definitely appeared like he was genuinely interested in him, and he walked home briskly with a smile. He opened the door to see something he never would have imagined.

“Glad you arrived home safe, Y/N,” his father greeted, “The woman sitting on the right in front of me, Ahn Young, and I have been seeing each other for some time now, and we are going to get married next month. The young man on the left is Soobin, her son. He’s a year older than you and attends the same college. I know this is a lot for you to take in, but please take time to get to know Soobin and Ahn Young well, they’re great people”.

Y/N was more shocked to see Soobin at his home, who was his soon-to-be stepbrother, than he was to the news that his father was getting married.

Struggling for words, Y/N replied, “I’m so happy that you’ve found someone to make you feel whole again, dad. Ahn Young must really be a great woman if you’ve chosen her, and I openly welcome her and Soobin into our family. I’ll do my best to get to know both of them”.

Y/N’s father was extremely relieved, after fearing what Y/N’s reaction would be. Soobin stared at Y/N with a sexy smirk that only Y/N understood. They all ate dinner together, and Y/N, in a fashion to talk with Soobin about the recent developments, invited him to stay over for the night, a gesture that made all parties happy.

“So, um, I guess you’re my stepbrother now, Soobin,” Y/N said with mixed emotions. After a long time, Y/N found someone he really connected with and was feeling attracted to, but he was Y/N’s own stepbrother.

Soobin, wanting to show Y/N that the recent news was nothing to be saddened about, lifted his chin up, forcing Y/N to look into his eyes, whispering, “This is nothing more than a chance for us to get closer. We really should get to know each other better, don’t you think”. He said this all while biting his lip, making Y/N fall even more for him.

Y/N and Soobin slept peacefully that night, and before long, they started spending all their time together. Y/N lovingly began to call Soobin hyung, and they studied together, while also preparing for their parents’ wedding, which came sooner than expected.

The day of the wedding, Soobin and Y/N also became real stepbrothers, which meant they could finally do what stepbrothers do. They were both so happy to be in each other’s company, and soon, the family moved into a new home.

Unfortunately, due to wedding and honeymoon costs, the new house was a little bit on the smaller side, so Soobin and Y/N had to share not only their room, but what was Y/N’s old bed.

Y/N was very nervous about following boundaries between step-siblings, especially with Soobin being so attractive and purposely teasing Y/N too much.

While their parents went on their honeymoon, Soobin took the teasing up a notch. He began to purposely walk around the house shirtless, and enjoyed seeing the lustful expressions on Y/N’s face. Y/N kept trying to hide his attraction and maintain a sibling-like relationship, but Soobin wasn’t having it. He’d often sit a little too close to Y/N, purposely wearing short underwear around the house to show off his muscular thighs. Y/N wanted nothing more than to sit on Soobin’s thighs and ride his dick, but he managed to control himself once again.

Soobin intentionally began lifting weights in the middle of the living room to show off his strength to Y/N, and Y/N couldn’t get over how sexy Soobin looked with his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat that smelt a little like Soobin, a little bit of peach from his perfume, and a whole lot of manly musky testosterone that had Y/N’s lower body losing control.

He had to run into the bathroom more than once while seeing Soobin exercise, primarily to hide his very clear hard-on that Soobin knew he was the cause of. He intentionally gave Y/N a hug right after he was all done, and Y/N could feel all of ridges of Soobin’s abs that made him want to lick them all over. The pressure from his amazingly built pectoral muscles made Y/N go absolutely crazy, wanting him to feel Soobin’s body above him. But more than anything, the smell of Soobin’s sweetness mixed with musk made Y/N very visibly look like he was in a trance, as he could not help but sniff Soobin’s neck all over.

Soobin, extremely excited, could not wait for them to sleep in the same bed and to finally make Y/N his. As far as he had gotten from talking to Y/N, Y/N was a virgin and never had anyone even touch him, which only made excited Soobin. Soobin slowly pulled away from Y/N, but Y/N quickly pulled him back, touching his hands all over Soobin’s sweaty back and kissing him.

Y/N was so desperate for Soobin, he didn’t even realize that he had taken the initiative to kiss Soobin. Soobin delicately held up Y/N’s face and moved his tongue inside. Their tongues engaged in a beautiful dance that made Y/N moan in pleasure. He had never kissed before, and Soobin knew exactly how to make him feel good.

Despite a lack of any other action, Y/N had a very fucked-out expression when Soobin finally broke the kiss. As Y/N realized what he did, the thick string of saliva connecting the two’s mouths told the story loud and clear.

Y/N was embarrassed that he crossed the boundaries of a stepbrother relationship, but Soobin looked at him with desire. Y/N couldn’t help but feel horny at the sight of his half-naked stepbrother, whose body looked like that of a Greek god and whose bulge he couldn’t wait to explore.

Speechless from then until dinner, Y/N and Soobin ate in silence, both exchanging glances at each other until Soobin couldn’t take it any longer.

“N/n-ie, you didn’t do anything wrong. I wanted to kiss you too, that’s why I came so close to you in the first place,” Soobin explained.

“I get that hyung, but i’m really not sure if we should be doing that. I get that we really are attracted to each other, especially me, but that was before we became related. I’m really not sure what to do,” Y/N responded with a frown.

Soobin, knowing that actions speak louder than words, decided to show Y/N what their relationship should be later that night.

The two finished eating, and Y/N quickly got into bed. Soobin took off his boxers right in front of Y/N before getting in bed.

Y/N’s mouth watered as he was Soobin’s monstrously sized cock. So thick that it was two fingers wide when soft, and it was so long that it went almost halfway down Soobin’s huge thighs. Y/N couldn’t believe that every part of his stepbrother was a sin waiting to happen, and so he turned away from Soobin as he got into bed.

Soobin saw and knew Y/N’s reaction, so as he turned to Y/N’s side, he whispered, “Didn’t know a cock could be so big, Y/N?”

Y/N muttered, “Yes hyung, I’ve never seen one as big as yours. Everything on your body is so sexy and it’s so hard to control myself, especially when you’re in the same bed as me.

Soobin’s cock pressed up against Y/N’s bubble butt, and he felt its girth and length, along with its warmness, very clearly.

“You really don’t have to, my Y/N, my body belongs to you and yours does to me,” Soobin whispered again before proceeding to stealthily lick Y/N’s ear.

“F-fuck hyung, you’re really so hot. I can feel your dick right against me and it’s so enticing. I genuinely have never seen a man as hot as you, you make me too horny. Help me now hyung,” Y/N said with pure lust, no longer able to think logically after knowing a naked Soobin, ready to breed him, was lying down close to him.

Y/N felt Soobin’s cock grow larger against his ass, and he responded by moving his ass up and down.

“Hah, Y/N, you’re so cute and breedable, and I’m gonna make it happen today,” Soobin groaned with his head back.

Without any warning, Soobin pushed Y/N down while simultaneously pushing himself above him, grabbing his face and kissing him. The movement released enough musk for visible hearts to appear in Y/N’s eyes, as he made a face that could only be compared to ahegao. He was high on the smell of Soobin himself, sweat releasing pheromones from his hard workout in the living room.

Soobin firmly kissed Y/N, as the younger parted his lips to allow for his tongue’s entry. The harmony between their tongues filled both of their mouths with heated affections that both could not get enough of.

Y/N’s body began heating up as Soobin rubbed his huge erection against Y/N’s. He felt so small and petite under his bigger stepbrother, and he loved being covered by his large body and his irresistible musk.

Breaking the kiss, Soobin took off Y/N’s shorts with one of his hands, while another went under his shirt and began pressing against his pink buds. Y/N moaned at the sudden touching, but he enjoyed the stimulation.

Taking his shirt off as well, Soobin began to suck powerfully on Y/N’s virgin nipples, making tingly feelings emerge all of Y/N’a body as he yelped. Soobin put his large fingers in his little dongsaeng’s mouth.

“Mm-Hah,hyung, your fingers are so long and veiny,” Y/N muttered as he grabbed the elder’s hands with his own tiny ones to lick them properly all over. They just tasted so good to Y/N, and the length gave him practice for what was to come.

Taking his hand out of his mouth, Soobin flipped Y/N over as he put a finger into Y/N’s virgin hole.

“Binnie hyung, it feels really weird,” Y/N complained.

“Be a good little stepbrother for your Soobin hyung, hmm? It’s because you’ve never had anything in this tight little hole, but that’ll change from now on,” Soobin sexily announced.

Soobin put another finger inside Y/N, scissoring him open well enough for the pinkness inside him to be seen.

“H-hyung, it’s too much, I-I’ve never had so much happening down there,” Y/N moaned.

“You have no clue what too much is,” Soobin hungrily answered before moving his fingers in and out of Y/N faster and faster to get him used to it.

“A-Ah-Ahn-Ahn,” Y/N moaned out of unexpected pleasure from Soobin’s action, causing the older to smile.

Feeling like Y/N was prepared, Soobin slapped Y/N’s ass firmly, causing it to open up. Soobin’s strength felt exactly like what Y/N had previously thought it would, bringing him even more excitement and impatience.

“Ready for hyung’s huge cock to wreck your hole and give you a sinful delight?”Soobin questioned.

Y/N replied, both as a front and out of genuine concern, “h-hyunggie, is it really okay that we do this?”

“Of course, my cute dongsaeng, you’ve wanted me for so long it’s not fair to both you and me to stop here. I wanna fill you up with my seed so bad,” Soobin whispered before grabbing Y/N roughly for a kiss once again.

Soobin positioned his cock right above Y/N and pushed lightly again his hole. With a nod from Y/N, Soobin thrusted 8 of his 10 inches straight into Y/N at once.

“h-h-HYUNG,” Y/N cried out from the feeling of being filled. Solving was just so big that he knew Y/N would fear taking him gradually, so he did it all at once.

“It-it-HURTS, hyung,” Y/N muttered as Soobin began to kiss him deeply to distract him from the pain and let him adjust.

“Are you ready now, Y/N?” Soobin asked.

Y/N nodded and Soobin began thrusting slowly, earning a light moan from Y/N. Soobin loved the feeling of the Y/N’s tightness enveloping his hole, and unconsciously began to thrust faster.

Although it felt weird initially, the way Soobin’s large, bulbous tip stimulated his prostate made Y/N���s body tingle and ascend to a level of pleasure he didn’t know possible.

“F-fuck me more, bin hyungie,” Y/N moaned out.

“Anything for my little brother,” Soobin responded while he gagged Y/N with his fingers and thrusted faster.

His hole being abused by his stepbrother’s large cock and Soobin’s fingers roughly playing with Y/N’s tongue, he nearly felt himself come, moving his hand to climax by jerking himself off.

Soobin’s free hand slapped Y/N’s hand off and he flipped him over, pulling out his cock suddenly in the process.

“You’ll come from only hyung’s dick. My cock better be enough for you, and I’ll show you what it can really do. You’ve awakened a beast that you’ll regret and your ass will love, Y/N,” Soobin angrily growled.

Moving both of his hands to Y/N’s neck to choke his lightly, Soobin thrusted all of his cock back in, earning a grunt from Y/N, who couldn’t make any more sounds.

Soobin’s huge dick rubbed against Y/N’s velvety walls fully, not leaving an inch untouched, and the speed at which it bulged Y/ab’s abdomen was incomprehensible.

With his prostate being abused and Y/N obsessed with the thought of getting wrecked by his stepbrother who also happened to be Soobin, a man whose sexiness was unmatched, it was too much for Y/N.

“H-hyungie, i-it’s too much,” Y/N muttered as he felt more stimulated than he knew possible.

“You can take it more my precious baby boy,” Soobin curtly replied as he slapped Y/N’s ass hard, earning a cute moan from the younger.

Wanting to wreck Y/N more than he could account for verbally, Soobin thrusted harder and more roughly than even before, causing Y/N to simply move along with his powerful thrusts with an open mouth and his tongue out.

Y/N continued moaning without stopping as Soobin pushed Y/N’s ass down, causing his back to arch and Y/N’s prostate unable to process the pleasure caused by each thrust of Soobin’s cock.

“Your hole is so tight and perfectly made for me, Y/N-ie,” Soobin moaned out as he felt himself bottom out inside the younger. He felt so good about being the first inside his stepbrother, and made sure to let him know that nobody could do him better.

“You’re all mine Y/N, tell everyone who fucks you this good your first time,” Y/N’s hyung told him as he continued to thrust deeply inside Y/N, so much so that Y/N was sure his hole wouldn’t ever be able to close again.

“S-Soobin hyung is the one I belong to. SOOBIN HYUNG IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN WRECK ME THIS GOOD. SOOBIN HYUNGGGG,” Y/N moaned out as Soobin nearly brought him to cum.

Y/N heard the spurts inside his ass as Soobin’s precum made his walls wet and swollen from the thrusting, prompting Soobin to thrust in quicker and much smoother.

Feeling his climax coming, Soobin muttered, “My dongsaeng, it’s time to come. I’ll fill you up with the cum of your hyung that you’ve needed and i’ll make you pregnant. I’ll fill you so much that you won’t even be able to sit down without thoughts of your hyung wrecking you.”

“HAH, YES SOOBIN HYUNG, MAKE ME PREGNANT AND FILL ME UP WITH YOUR SPERM. MARK ME AS YOURS,” Y/N screeched out as the older bit on his neck roughly, leaving a mark of their time together.

The smell of Soobin’s sweat and look of sexiness on his face was it for Y/N, and he released cum like a fountain just as Soobin hit his prostate especially hard in his own desire to reach his climax.

Soobin wasn’t done as he kept grunting with each thrust and holding the small boy tightly to his muscular body, placing one arm around the younger’s belly to feel his own cock.

Feeling Y/N’s tight walls closing in and twitching, Soobin’s monstrous cock became rock hard as he animalitically thrusted deep into Y/N for the last time, releasing three weeks worth of semen into his dongsaeng.

So much cum surrounded Soobin’s 10 inches deep inside Y/N, overstimulating him to the point of coming again.

Soobin licked the cum off of the younger’s chest as he pulled out, with so much of his cum leaking out that Y/N was struggling to make it seem like he didn’t wet the bed.

With a growl, Soobin filled Y/N with his cock once again, using it as a butt plug, and leaving Y/N feeling extremely satisfied after being wrecked by his hot, hunky, and huge stepbrother.

“I want to do this again hyung,” Y/N moaned out from having thoroughly enjoyed having his virginity taken by his monster of a stepbrother.

“Of course, my temptation,” Soobin replied as cum continued to leak out of Y/N’s reddened, inflamed boy pussy.

Author’s Note: This took a long time to finish, but I hope you all enjoy. There is a top Soobin drought right now, and I wanted to fix that. Feel free to leave a comment on how I did below!

[allzelemonz]

Tie: Slade Wilson X FTM Reader

Pronouns: he/him, Reader referred to as ‘boy’, ‘man’, and ‘handsome’ Physical Sex: AFAB implied Rating: G/Fluff Warnings: Mentor/protege, Reader is referred to as younger, Slade says trans rights, trans reader, ftm reader, suits and ties, transition process, tying ties, fluff, Slade being nice for once, undercover mission Summary: Slade teaches you to knot your tie.

Slade stands in the main area of the compound, his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. His protege was supposed to be out here two minutes ago, dressed up and ready for an undercover hit. The kid is a mess. Simply ‘mess’ is likely the understatement of the century. Hardly up to par in physicality for a young man his age, abysmal progress altogether. And now, on top of all of that, he’s late.

He rushes in just a moment later, officially three minutes late.

“The hell took you so long.” Slade near growls. He hasn’t hit the kid outside of training yet and it has taken quite a bit of self restraint.

“Sorry, I couldn’t, uh…” The kid looks down, his hand mindlessly tugging at the undone tie around his neck.

“You can’t tie a damn tie?” Slade scoffs, looking down at the young man with knitted eyebrows. “Just how useless can you be, kid?”

“I’ve never worn one…”

Slade narrows his eyes, gaze moving between the kid’s tie and his face. “You’re a grown man that’s never worn a tie?”

That comment makes your heart flutter a bit. Slade is probably the one person in the world that you really want to pass around. His approval means everything at this point and hearing him call you a man just… it makes you smile despite yourself.

Slade’s head works like a machine as he studies you. Since you joined him he hasn’t asked questions about it. He knows. Not because you told but because all minute signs point to it. If he were anyone else, aside from possibly Batman, he wouldn’t know. But he’s seen you at your worst during his training, when you don’t have the strength to be your true self and are forced to hide in socialized mannerisms. And this is just another confirmation of it. Doesn’t matter, you told him you’re a man so that’s what you are.

“Come here.” He sighs. “I’ll teach you.”

You step closer, feeling a lightness in your stomach when Slade tugs you even closer by the tie. He mutters the instructions under his breath, tying a half knot a few times before shoving your shoulder back and telling you to do it yourself this time. You try to recreate his process and he watches you fumble through it until there’s a decent knot tightened around your collar.

”Handsome.” He mutters, but you catch it. “Let’s go. Job’s not going to do itself.”

He steps away, grabbing his gun and tucking it into his waistline. His mind thinks too fast for him to stop but he fully recognizes the feeling of falling.

[a-witches-riddle]

✨✨Pinned Post✨✨

Uhhh looks like I’ve been getting lotsa followers lately so here’s a pinned post about me I guess!!

Hiya! I’m Bree! I’m a trans poly-pan wolfgirl that hangs out on the internet doin gay stuff! My blog is primarily a random/personal blog, with no real theme other than my love for women and being transfem :3

Here’s a lil’ bit of personal info for y’all to get to know who I am a bit better!

I’m a trans woman! I found out who I was in 2017, and through a slow and gradual process I eventually socially transitioned. I’ve been on hormones for over a year now, too!

I’ve been a lot happier since I’ve been on hormones, and it’s drastically improved my mental state. I finally feel good in my body.

Despite my general affinity and attraction to women, I am pansexual, which means yes, I find just about any one of any gender attractive, I just have a preference towards women.

I have a partner that I love dearly and more than anything in the world. We have a very special and unique bond together that can’t quite be explained or rivaled, and we’re happy together 🖤💜🐺🦇

I consider myself a “Furry Lite”™️. I don’t really have a fursona or anything, but I very much identify with wolves and consider myself a puppygirl, with all the works. Yes, I will bark and whine for headpaps :3

Also I guess I’m a raccoongirl now?? Thank you to @pan-tran-dndfan for convincing me of this, and now we are kit bffs ��️🦝🫂🦊 (the lack or a raccoon head emoji is criminal but i also like the lil guy there, they’re so me frfr)

I don’t really have that much shame about my kinks. This is an 18+ blog so obviously expect adult content.

I have a few hobbies, including playin vidya games. I play a lotta random things, but one of my favorites is Cyberpunk 2077. I also tend to play a lot of survival horror and just survival games in general. Big Resident Evil nerd and Project Zomboid enjoyer. Also very into Fnaf and Cod zombies lore… don’t ask because I will loredump.

I’m not the biggest into movies or tv, but I’ve seen my fair share of the popular stuff. I’m a big horror movie junkie, Saw being one of my brainrots. I also was absolutely obsessed with Arcane, which swiftly became one of my favorite shows of all time, until season 2 happened. Season 1 is still the GOAT, but I will argue about how catastrophically bad season 2 is. Feel free to argue with me about it.

I have a few genres of music I’m in love with. I grew up listening to rock/metal and it stuck ever since. Huge A7X fan (minus their nft shilling :/), and Halestorm enjoyer. I also am in love with grunge, Chris Cornell (rip) and Eddie Vedder you have my heart.

I also love making OC’s! I’ve been writing since I was like, 8 years old, and making characters has always been a passion of mine. Lilith and Tara are my main OC’s, and my writing has been fairly private. Not sure if I want to share any of my writing publicly or not, but who knows! Maybe one day I’ll muster up the courage for it.

I’m not really public in general on most platforms; tumblr really is the main place that I’m at all active save discord. Not necessarily an active choice I make but a situation that happened more out of circumstance.

Personal mention to @dawnofthefoxes for being one of the most important people in my entire life. You’re honestly a major pillar in my existence, and I quite honestly can’t imagine a life without you in it. I love you, my bestie sweetest fox ever <3✨💙🐺🦊🩷✨

uhhhh i think that’s it! I hope y’all like my blog of random gayness and silliness! My dm’s are always open if you have a question or just wanna chat! Love y’all 💙🏳️‍⚧️

[thatfilthyanimal]

tw: stalking, grooming, pedophilia, sexual abuse, past suicidal thoughts

I've recently been made aware that Dupsy is still talking about me and is now going to random Megamind fans that don't know me and telling them to avoid me. I'm also aware that they're doing this in the Ruby Gillman fandom. I have no words to really describe the level of discomfort this brings me, but I will attempt.

First of all, all the "grooming" allegations were thoroughly debunked and proven to be bullshit. I can't believe I have to even say this. I'm a victim of grooming and sexual abuse myself. It's extremely traumatic and life-altering shit, and never something I would want to inflict on someone else. I feel like it should be obvious, with the measures I took in the server to ensure no child is exposed to such things. I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to the shit that happened to me when I was growing up, and between processing that in therapy sessions and stomaching transitioning in a near-constant hostile-to-trans-people online social media hellscape, I am tired.

I love Megamind, more than anything, and this is known and obvious to anyone who's met me. This movie saved my life when I was extremely suicidal and planning to end my life back in 2010. Watching the movie when I did gave me something to focus on, a distraction, and a responsibility as a fandom member that helped distract me long enough to get out of the planning mindset I was in. Had I not seen the movie, I do not think I would have stuck around. I will leave it at that.

And moderating fandom spaces for Megamind has been lovely! I adore this fandom. The people in it are extremely talented and sweet, and just so damn nice, like by default. I say this all the time but I've never experienced another fandom space quite like it. There are usually bad eggs in fandoms, and perhaps -I- am said "bad egg" to some, but genuinely this one is special. I have always felt that way, even when the bad eggs show up and make a stink. It has always felt worth being here for, to me.

And while I hate to give Dupsy the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me, I need to be honest-- it's been rough. I stopped talking in my server, I locked up on most of my friends and stopped talking even in DMs. I still struggle with severe anxiety in the server and have talked to Dal on various occasions about transferring the server ownership to him. He's been very patient with my freakouts and super understanding, but it's still hard. This WAS a place I felt safe, for over ten years! And now it feels like any minor can just say I'm a groomer or a pedo or whatever with ZERO consequences, just because they're mad, just because these are words that make people go "oh shit" and listen, and man! It's not ok! And this coupled with the fact that trans people are often called groomers just for existing, just… man! I'm tired. I'm so tired.

There are real, severe, damaging effects to these claims being thrown around so casually. It's hurtful to me, as a victim of sexual abuse, because when I came forward to people about what happened when -I- was a minor, I was told I "wanted it" and "asked for it". It was made to be my fault that I was abused, and I internalized it for years. It nearly killed me. I cannot stress enough how important it is to not use claims like pedophilia and grooming so lightly-- these are VERY damning terms to use on people and should be reserved for people ACTUALLY HARMING OTHERS. Being mad I banned you from the server is not "abuse" and using my Customer Service Voice to be nice to you and then being obviously tired of you when you were banned is not "emotional grooming". What the actual fuck. ALSO. This was well over a year ago! Why am I still having to post about this? Why are you still TALKING about me? And yet again I ask, where the HELL are your parents?

Anyway, if you've been wondering why I've been so quiet these days and struggling to socialize… honestly? It's this. I hate that this is what did it. I know people trust and believe me, I know the fandom backs me up regularly and I appreciate them all so much for it. I see it, but I never know how to respond. You guys continue to make this fandom feel safe for me even when my entire brain is screaming to run, and I appreciate you so much for it.

Kids deserve to be trusted when they tell people they've been hurt and I hate that the recent proshipping discourse or whatever you want to call it, this culty all-or-nothing shit, has a bunch of minors growing up feeling like EVERYTHING is something to call rapey or predatory, with apparently little room to distinguish when REAL abuse is happening to them. I don't blame anyone for believing Dupsy, and it's honestly better they DO believe all unproven claims of abuse by default, just to stay safe-- but man, it has consequences that follow people, and really should not be a thing to just throw around because you're mad at someone. I just can't believe they're STILL going around and reaching out to strangers telling them to avoid me… like, what the fuck.

I will be ok, I always am eventually, but I needed to say something, because it's honestly been a while since I've said much of anything.

Keep being kind. <3

[discendia]

Here we are, the dreaded question. If you would be so kind! I would like to know Rio's thoughts and feelings in regards Takeshi's ...dwindling state of mind. That time when he tried to kill himself, did she know? did Tsuyoshi now? In this light, what does Rio think of Tsunayoshi?

The day has come to talk about Takeshi’s darkest day… Short answers are: yes, no, and not exactly as a friend. I’ll leave the complete answer under the cut due to the enormous length and the following content warning.

CW: suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, toxic dependency.

─────── ꒦꒷♡꒷꒦ ────────

I've called it Takeshi's darkest day, but it is actually the result of several issues he had going on for months, and in my canon, Rio had a role in it.

Let me first give you some context: 

Takeshi and Rio grew up relying mostly on each other. Tsuyoshi was a good father, one who loved his children from the bottom of his heart, but his own process of grieving occasionally prevented him from being as involved as they would need him to be. 

This had its toll on the siblings’ social development. They learned too fast how to please people but never found in others a connection as deep and strong as the one they have.

Takeshi’s desire for more bonds drove him to attract attention in any possible positive way, and he found that making himself useful to others by achieving victories and being the ace of the team resulted in the admiration of the other kids and, even more important, in his father's happiness and pride. Even if he had a natural talent, an athletic ability above the rest, he trained hard for his strategy to succeed.

Soon, he was surrounded by so-called friends; everyone wanted to be with him, to play with him, to know him, but even if he played along with it, it didn’t feel like genuine friendship. And it was okay because he had a true friendship at home, in Rio. 

That was, until the transition from elementary school to middle school. Rio’s own issues resulted in her first major attempt at independence. She was considering choosing a different middle school, where no one would ever mix her with Takeshi, and even when she ended up settling for Namichuu, she made it clear that she didn’t want to be the baseball team's manager like she was before.

It was their first big fight. Hopefully, the last one, too.

They barely talked in those months until the end of June. They were in different classes, and after school, Rio went straight home while Takeshi spent hours training without rest.

Takeshi’s mental state, deprived of his most important relationship, the one who kept him from sinking into depression, deteriorated day by day. Breaking his arm hurt less than the continuous feeling of having half of himself ripped off of him, it ended up cutting his last thread of sanity.

If he had lost his means to connect with people and to make the ones he loved happy, he didn't have anything left.

Did Rio know he tried to kill himself? Yes.

She heard some girls from her class talking about it and the moment she went out to the corridor she saw his brother falling from a window. Her heart and thoughts stopped at once. She could only run, trip on the stairs, and run again ignoring any physical pain until she made it to the courtyard.

Takeshi was laughing. He was alive. He was laughing. An awfully false laugh. He was alive. New air finally made its way into her lungs; she could breathe again. And she was grateful to whatever god that allowed her to keep his brother by her side, but she was also enraged.

She walked up to him, lips pressed, and unable to say a word, she raised her hand. Takeshi’s cheek became bright red. It itched. It reminded him that he was alive and he was not alone. It made him realize his actions hurt the person he cared about the most. 

“How dare you…!?”

“I’m sorry…”

Remorse and shame ate him up, tying a knot in his stomach. He made Rio cry her heart out, something he had never seen before. As well as his broken arm allowed him to, he grabbed her into a tight hug, letting her dry her tears on his chest.

“Never do this again”, she pleaded in a muffled voice.

“I promise I won’t. I was stupid...”

A promise he wouldn’t be able to keep ten years later.

While Takeshi recovered his most important bond, gained a new one for life, and started feeling secure and at peace again, this event also cut the little independence Rio had built.

She realized she wouldn't be able to live on without him, and that she needed to tie up to him so close that she would never lose sight of him to prevent the risk of this happening again. She discarded any attempt to be her own person and settled on being Takeshi’s shadow again, as it meant a familiar safety and comfort; she went back to being the little girl who was always clinging to her brother, who dressed and acted like him to get a smile out of her father, but that's a story for another day.

In the end, they swore not to fight like that again and to never tell Tsuyoshi about what happened.

So, after all this, what is Tsuna for Rio? 

This is something she feels she can't tell anyone, not even Takeshi. It's not that she doesn't appreciate him, but before a friend, Tsuna is someone she is indebted to.

To repay him for saving his brother and becoming a source of sincere happiness for him, Rio is willing to do anything he asks of her, even if it means giving up on her dreams of a simple life and leaving her beloved home to navigate the underworld. At that moment she's certain that she'll be able to become anyone and do anything Tsuna could possibly need of her, whether it be nice words, threats or dirty hands, or to give her life for him if it means that Takeshi will be safe and happy.

Lucky for her, Tsuna doesn’t want any of that from his friends, right?

[communist-ojou-sama]

Okay so I'm gonna go ahead and put a disclaimer up top that these are the ramblings of a dilettante that shouldn't be taken too seriously, but I think that people (understandably) frustrated with with the ICJ ruling and convinced it will have no material consequences should consider some things before they say that.

The first thing I want to remind everyone is that the west is far from invincible. Their rule is not iron-clad and their ability to enforce their will on the world is far from complete and is waning apace.

I think a lot about how in the process of the transition to late capitalism (as I personally define it), one consequence of the mass financialization of the economy is the pricing-out of most common consumer commodity-based manufacturing enterprise in favor of transactions that are most elastic in price, and how the result of that is a mass outflow of raw productive capacity from the imperial core to the global periphery.

If I can frame that in another way, and forgive me in framing this in very neutral terms, but it turns these countries from production-rich countries to production-poor countries with economies defined by the phenomenon of asset-price inflation.

The resulting global situation is that, similar to the assertion that Africa for example is rich because it's where the natural resources that facilitate the global economy are located, Mexico is rich. Vietnam is rich. Bangladesh is rich. These countries are awash in raw capacity to create goods that have a use value. What is the one thing that keeps them relatively cash-poor?

That is, the law. There's a bit of poetry in the idea that just as how within imperial core economies the most important economic instruments are legal contracts to either some percentage of a company's equity or its debt, what sustains its (nominal) riches over the global periphery is a legal regime of ownership that entitles them to the rights to all of the profits going on in these incredibly production-rich countries in the Global South.

It is absolutely correct to say that at the highest level, these legal regimes are enforced at the barrel of the gun, we've seen how too much refusal to to honor these laws by heads of state can lead to mass disinvestment and eventually coups d'état, and even now it would not be a good idea to say, seize the productive assets of a bunch of US firms.

However, and this is where the ICJ comes back in to my point, let's not think about the US. Let's think about, for example, the Netherlands or Belgium. These countries maintain fantastic financial wealth via contracts of ownership with countries in the global south but they are also small and geopolitically unimportant, with little in the way of individual military power.

For little countries like these, genuinely the Only thing that secures their ability to act as a parasite on the global productive economy is the strength of legitimacy that international law affords them, and the position of overwhelming power the west Once had, decades ago.

But the power and prestige of the West continues, as I said, to wane apace. it's too early to happen now but these less militaristic countries are aware of how exposed their assets are to simple seizure if over time international law comes to be seen as a joke.

As awful and condamnable as the current global system is, it is not total dictatorship. It is only able to perpetuate itself because the overwhelming majority of countries that are parties to it have buy in and because, albeit much more slowly than they could have under socialism, they have been able to make dents in their own poverty with it.

The exposure of the international law framework as having absolutely no legitimacy, as being a naked tool of domination of rich countries over poor countries has knock-on effects that stand to be incredibly dangerous to less militarily capable countries that rely on them for their economic structures. On a long-term scale, especially as these countries become richer and more geopolitically influential in their own right, they may well begin to pose the question: why Shouldn't I seize these french factories in my country? Why Shouldn't I seize this Belgian-owned diamond mine? Why Should I pay back this IMF loan, if the ICJ framework can't even compel the Zionist Enemy to end a genocide? And I promise you, this is a reality of which at least some people in those countries are highly cognizant and wary, so I'd wait and see a bit before being Too pessimistic.

[jacksfandomrandom]

How Eve Became Steve: Chapter 2

Summary: Vicky has some explaining to do

When Vicky woke up again, he found himself in an unfamiliar bedroom on a plush and comfortable bed. He knew that this wasn’t the dorms anymore. Mainly because their beds were barely comfortable at all. What was even more strange was that he couldn’t see out of his left eye. Something was covering it. He tried to get up but was right away attacked with a burst of pain shooting up his back. 

“Aagh!” He cried.

His little burst of pain had caused footsteps to start rushing towards him. He wanted to hide but couldn’t move. The door opened and the kind blond man from before stood in the doorway. He saw Vicky trying to get up and rushed over.

“Hey, hey, don’t try to move just yet,” Charlie walked over to his side with a couple of flying goats following behind him.

“Wh-why should I trust you?!” Vicky tried to rebut. This was hell, what if he tried to kill him or assault him?!

“Because I patched up all your injuries even though you’re literally an exorcist angel?” Charlie replied. Victor was about to say something but cut himself off. He was right. Why would someone patch him up just to end up killing him? That would be a waste of bandages and cleaning supplies.

“I… I guess you’re right…” He mumbled.

“Great! Now, I think you’ve bled through the gauze. Mind if I change your bandages?” Charles asked. That’s when Vicky realized that there were bandages on his back. These weren’t like the ones he would try to hide his chest with either. They actually had gauze and everything. But in order to even wrap them that would mean Charlie had seen his chest…

“Y-you bandaged my back?!” He yelled, a little angry.

“Yeah, it was a bloody mess! I wasn’t just gonna let you bleed to death!” The prince yelled back. The idea that Charlie now knew he wasn’t a real boy and he couldn’t start a new made him just get more upset. He didn’t mean to sound angry. His tone just tended to sound mad whenever he was overwhelmed or panicking.

“You saw my-!” Victor quickly cut himself off and quickly covered his mouth once realizing what he was about to say

“What? Your chest?” he said back with a more softer tone. Vicky wanted to yell again, but just didn’t have the energy. He felt like crying. With Charlie being so straightforward about it, it just made the situation feel much more big and made his anxiety grow. So he pulled his knees to his chest and hid his face before nodding. Charlie sighed and sat next to him. The angel looked to be more upset about him seeing it, not even the idea that he could’ve abused them. His priorities were a little mixed up but Charlie had an idea as to why.

“Victor… Are you… trans? Like, a boy born in the wrong body?” He asked, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. Vicky took another deep breath to try and stop himself from going into an anxiety attack, and nodded slowly, still hiding his face. 

“Was why I fell…” He mumbled very quietly, his voice cracking as a few tears leaked out. 

Charlie couldn’t say he was shocked. It was something that was pretty typical of heaven to do. But by the looks of it, it seemed like the angel had just come out. Like he didn’t even have anytime to start to socially transition. 

“I- I just wanted to tell my friend. I thought ‘Maybe she’ll accept me and give me a boy’s haircut’ but I was wrong. She… She stabbed my eye out and ripped off my wings in front of everyone…called me a sinful tranny,” Vicky started to softly sob as he recalled and processed everything that happened. He had no friends now, no family. All of his stuff was left in heaven, he couldn’t fly anymore or see out of his left eye. His life turned to shit all in 32 hours.

“Victor… I am so sorry,” Charlie wrapped his arms around him, avoiding the back injuries and gave him a hug.

He sobbed into Charlie’s arms, getting snot and tears all over his white dress shirt. After a while, he seemed to have calmed down a little and was now just sniffling as he wiped away stray tears. It felt a little strange, getting comforted by someone who was practically a stranger, but fuck, he really needed that hug. 

“Alright, now that you’re calm, how about I give you a haircut and you can take a bath before I give you some new bandages?” Charlie suggested, pulling away from the hug. Victor looked up at him and smiled, his eyes filled with hope and gratitude. 

Charlie carefully picked him and carried him to the bathroom. He set Vicky down on a stool and handed him a magazine to pick out the style he wanted, while he grabbed the hair cutting kit.

“My apologies for the genre of magazine. Most of hell’s media is sex stuff. But I’m sure there’s a few hair styles you’d like in there,” He said while rummaging through the cabinet.

“Huh, there seems to be a page ripped out in the ‘sexiest men’ award section…” Vicky said, teasingly. Charlie blushed madly and hid his face. Suddenly, Victor laughed. It was a small giggle but it was so adorable that Charlie couldn’t help himself from smiling too.

Once Charlie got out the hair cutting kit, Victor picked out a style. The reference was a picture of a man with the right side of his head shaved and the left side was a medium length that went over his eye.

“Can I have this one? but I don’t want this side to be shaved, just shorter than it is now” He pointed to the picture.

“Yeah, I can do that! It looks pretty easy,” Charlie exclaimed, putting a towel over his shoulders and picking up the scissors.

It didn’t take too long but when it was done, Vicky practically cried out of happiness. He actually looked somewhat like a boy! His hair was short and looked so boyish! He loved it! He ran his hands through the choppy short hair and almost flapped his hands from joy. He controlled it though, not wanting to seem like a freak in front of the one person who seemed to care.

“Thank you so much, Charlie. You have no idea how much this means to me,” Victor said, giving him a hug from the stool.

“Hey, It’s no problem. I love to help out. Now, do you need help with the bath?” Charlie asked.

“No, I think I should be good.” 

“Alright. Well, when you get out, just tell me and I’ll come help with the bandages, okay?” He got out a towel and swept the floor a little. Vicky nodded and Charlie soon left. For the first time in a long time, Vicky somewhat liked his experience. Maybe falling wasn’t so bad after all.

[mariacallous]

Anne Applebaum’s new book explaining the rise of ‘modern autocracy’ through the politics of patronage, fear and misinformation will strike a familiar chord with observers of the political landscape in the Balkans.

Anne Applebaum’s timely book Autocracy, Inc.: The Dictators Who Want to Run the World explains the rise of modern autocracy in terms of simple greed and shamelessness. It details the shift away from dictators even pretending to uphold the values that characterised the post-World War II international order – and the collaborative efforts being made to undermine these institutions and replace them with transactionalism and their own control.

Applebaum explains how façades of democracy have been successfully manipulated by those who seek to undermine it as a system. Discussing the “shock therapy” approach taken to economic transition, which planted the seeds for many of these elements in the former Soviet space, she notes the role of Western companies and shell companies, banks and financial institutions. These greased the wheels for kleptocractic superstructures while getting rich and enabling widening inequality.

One chapter criticises the role of media, social media and the technologies and algorithms that enable the erosion of trust with the rapid dissemination of mis- and disinformation. She also sketches out how autocrats are learning from one another in a manner that in many ways is more efficient and effective than anything being seen on the other side.

For anyone living in and observing the political dynamics in the former Yugoslavia, everything outlined in her book seems extremely familiar and tangible.

The nexus of politics and power, and the predominant role of fear, misinformation and patronage in driving governance, rather than electoral and institutional accountability, has been the core feature of the domestic and international cycles of dysfunction in this region for over a generation.

I could not help but link her description of Austrian and West German gas and steel industrialists meeting with Soviet counterparts in 1967, with the transactionalism we see today between German and broader EU interests in making deals on lithium in an increasingly autocratic Serbia.  

In some ways, today’s reality is worse; in 1967 there was no pretence of democratic process; today this and other deals are being made in spite of a lack of informed community consent or institutional good governance.

It would be hard to imagine a more illustrative sign of the potential for further Balkan-American oligarchy than the recently announced deals by Donald Trump’s son-in-law and daughter to develop luxury hotels in Serbia and Albania, or the recent forays into North Macedonia by Trump allies.

One issue that Applebaum grapples with is the hopeful naïveté, or willing ignorance, of so many decision-makers at the end of the Cold War, convincing themselves that free market capitalism and rules- and rights-based democracy would, and even must go, hand-in-hand.

The late Benjamin Barber, a political theorist, in 1992, and later in his 1996 book, saw the writing on the wall in terms of the toxic mix of media conglomerates, popular anger, economic precarity and inequality together enabling the rise of anti-democratic extremisms of all flavours.

Throughout the Western Balkans, I’ve come across many people who have had the feeling that engagement in the former Yugoslavia was always more about capitalism than democracy.

As people have failed to see their lives get substantially better, and as they’ve seen deals being made between supposed Western democrats and known regional anti-democrats, they are increasingly skeptical of motives, words, promises and intentions. They have seen a local branch of “Autocracy, Inc” become firmly established in their own neighbourhood.

I was eager to hear Applebaum’s prescriptions, and in the epilogue she suggests a number of steps to be taken globally and perhaps most importantly in the West itself: adopting legislation to require transparency in the registration of business and real estate; reducing the scope for abuse by shell companies and tax havens; tackling misinformation, including by changing the balance of social media, so users own their data; and decoupling and de-risking business ties, including in the energy sphere, among others.

Many of these are in line with efforts over the years by the US, the EU and others to build democratic institutions in the Western Balkans and beyond. However, these have mostly failed because they tinker technically around the edges while avoiding the political life support systems at the core.

When talking about political reform in Bosnia and Herzegovina, for example, I have lost track of how many times I’ve heard Western diplomats show they have little belief in the possibility for meaningful structural change, noting that “turkeys don’t vote for Thanksgiving”, so acknowledging that the politicians in the country have little interest in changing a system that suits them.

This self-interested scepticism is also evident in consolidated democracies; witness the lack of Congressional support for – or public awareness of – the Anti-Corruption and Public Integrity Act in the US, for example.

No ‘Cold War 2.0’

Applebaum writes that in terms of resisting the increasingly coordinated and coordinating autocrats, the challenge is not a “black-and-white, binary contest, a ‘Cold War 2.0’”. Through this framing, she highlights the nuances among various types of autocrats, as well as the fluid transactional pragmatism among those seeking to amass and keep wealth and the power that comes with it.

She suggests one difference is that there are no “blocs” to join, or clear geographical boundaries, somewhat downplaying the emergence of BRICS, the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation and other constructs.

I wish she would have engaged more with the clarion call made by Oliver Bullough in his 2022 Offshore Cold War: Forging a Democratic Alliance to Combat Transnational Kleptocracy. Bullough, describing many of the same facilitating systems, mechanisms and structures in the West that have enabled the growth of oligarchy and kleptocracy, calls for the same unified and concerted effort against this democratic threat today that was seen during the Cold War.

On this, Applebaum would agree – she closes by calling on democrats to unite as effectively and confidently as the autocrats have done in establishing their own connectivity models.

Western diplomats engaging in the Western Balkans today – and often hailing or even facilitating kleptocratic business dealmaking – would do well to read her book.

They could then recognise the signs that we’ve seen in the region for years, and the potential allies among citizens in the region who know the playbook all too well – and wonder why the West still has not learned.

[autolenaphilia]

I think a lot of the uproar whenever socialists suggest abolishing family and religion of the kind that is best expressed in this sentence: “how can you abolish religion and family, how would we then preserve traditional culture, it would mean cultural genocide and imperialism” stems from a fundamentally idealist understanding of the world. One that misunderstands Marx’s materialist view of history.

I mean idealism in the sense that ideas and culture drive history and societal change. Basically the course of history is decided by a struggle of ideas. This conflict is either peaceful in the liberal sense that people use reason to convince other people of their views, or it is waged by military means, and these military conflicts are seen as motivated by ideology, with the winner imposing their views on the conquered.

This idea is also driven by essentialist ideas literally coming from nationalism and religious “family values” conservatism, that religion, the family and ethnic identity are fundamental to human existence. And the only way for them to go away is for some authoritarian state to force people to give them up.

This creates a fantasy that abolition of family and religion will mean a totalitarian “communist state” using violence to force religious people to give up religion and breaking up families. And I presume said state waging war to force the rest of the world to give up religion and family. Literal cultural genocide with death squads. This fantasy seems to be inspired in part by Hoxhaist Albania’s “state atheism” and European colonialism forcing christianity on Africa and the Americas.

This fantasy however badly misunderstands the Marxian materialist perspective on culture, including family, ethnicity and religion, which is the basis for our predictions about the end of family and religion.

The short version is that we believe that the mode of production determines culture. Cultural institutions like family and religion and all of culture is dependent on certain modes of production, whether that will be feudal, capitalist or socialist. “The mode of production of material life conditions the general process of social, political and intellectual life. “ as Marx said. And that by removing the capitalist economic foundation on which family and religion as we now know it stands, a socialist revolution will lead to those institutions naturally being destroyed. People will want to abandon religion and the family because in the socialist system, it will no longer make any sense to them.

Religion acts as both moral justification of and consolation for the sufferings of a class society. A socialist society would not be “a condition that requires illusions” as Marx put it. And as Engels explained all the way back in 1847, communism will end the family “since it does away with private property and educates children on a communal basis, and in this way removes the two bases of traditional marriage – the dependence rooted in private property, of the women on the man, and of the children on the parents.“

One might object that the institutions of the family and religion have survived previous such revolutions, like the transition from feudalism to capitalism. Doesn’t that prove that they are permanent fixtures of human nature? But communism will be something radically different, as the The Communist manifesto explains:

“The history of all past society has consisted in the development of class antagonisms, antagonisms that assumed different forms at different epochs.

But whatever form they may have taken, one fact is common to all past ages, viz., the exploitation of one part of society by the other. No wonder, then, that the social consciousness of past ages, despite all the multiplicity and variety it displays, moves within certain common forms, or general ideas, which cannot completely vanish except with the total disappearance of class antagonisms.

The Communist revolution is the most radical rupture with traditional property relations; no wonder that its development involved the most radical rupture with traditional ideas. “

It’s a contradiction in terms to want to “preserve culture” and also want to radically change the economic foundation on which culture stands, any type of “left-wing” position that claims to do both is ridiculous. A wish to “preserve traditional culture” can only lead to a reactionary position, one in which society is kept in stasis, or somehow returned to an earlier state, a stasis which preserves both the economic foundation and with it the culture.

And of course no such stasis has ever actually existed. No economic system and its cultural superstructure is truly static, as history proves. Every culture has gone through multiple cycles of death and rebirth, the most serious are periods of social revolution that transition from one mode of production to another. But between those periods there is usually a constant process of cultural evolution. In the end all cultures have gone though a ship-of-theseus-like total transformation multiple times.

As the manifesto puts it: “What else does the history of ideas prove, than that intellectual production changes its character in proportion as material production is changed? The ruling ideas of each age have ever been the ideas of its ruling class. “

In fact, because capitalism is not a static system, we can see changes already happening in existing societies. The widespread secularization in the most advanced capitalist countries in western Europe, for example, shows how the decline of religion can happen peacefully and naturally. It wasn’t violent repression that has caused Swedes to abandon the Lutherean Christanity that once heavily defined Swedish culture, it was because it no longer made any sense in an advanced capitalist society.

In a socialist revolution, there will probably be violence, but it would largely be the reactionaries who would cause it. There was revolutionary violence against the Orthodox Church in the Russian revolution and against the Catholic Church in the Spanish revolution, but that was because the churches sided with the forces of reaction. And the men who benefit from the family, actual patriarchs, will probably react with violence towards any attempt to lessen their power. Even as we speak, men often react to women divorcing them by stepping up their abusive violence.

As for the accusation of imperialism, it’s true that this revolution will be global, because there is no other way to defeat global capitalism. “It is a universal revolution and will, accordingly, have a universal range.” as Engels put it. But it will have to be the work of the working class themselves, which precludes a state, local or foreign/imperialist, doing it for them.

As the manifesto puts it: “In proportion as the exploitation of one individual by another will also be put an end to, the exploitation of one nation by another will also be put an end to. In proportion as the antagonism between classes within the nation vanishes, the hostility of one nation to another will come to an end.”

For more information on Marx’s material conception of history, just read Marx and Engels. This is basically all based on Marx’s works specifically. It’s why I don’t use terms like “dialectical materialism” or “historical materialism” or even “marxism”, because he didn’t use those terms, those descriptions came from later interpreters of his work, but that’s outside the scope of this text.

The works I quoted above are a good starting point. The preface to A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy has a great introduction to his views, Marx himself summarizes them in a single paragraph and the whole book is worth reading. Regarding religion, another preface that states Marx’s view very clearly is the often-quoted introduction to A Contribution to the critique of Hegel’s philosophy of right, the source of the “religion is the opium of the people” quote. The Communist Manifesto is of course worth reading and quoted at length above. Engels wrote a FAQ-style draft of the manifesto called The Principles of Communism in 1847 that quite literally answers common questions about communism, particularly relevant to this post are the answers to questions 19-23.