#as i said it scratches my brain in the best way possible

[thetadispatcher]

Strasky glanced at Rook then back to Peter, they were nearly the same person if not for a few minor differences. Strasky knew he couldn't do the same type of work Peter was, nor would he be comfortable with it, but he had a feeling that was just due to his personal experiences. "Sometimes it feels more like I attract troublesome things, but I can live with that." He felt nothing would ever live up to what he'd experienced on PATHOS-II, so he was fine with whatever mess he found himself in. "And there's nothing wrong with being friendly, that's the best way to meet very interesting people." Or in Peter's case it was androids mainly if the home's residents were anything to go by.

But neither Strasky nor Peter felt like speaking on the subject with each other as they both still found it odd and a little unsettling to think they were practically the same person. And Peter had made it clear to Strasky he wasn't ready to approach the subject with how quickly he'd brushed it off and found something to busy himself, something he recognized as a tactic to prevent any possible thoughts on the subject by means of a distraction that took most of his attention.

"Shouldn't be too hard to reformat them so they can operate on an android's brain. I'd just have to see the one first." Peter paused as he noticed Strasky react to what he'd said, something which he felt was a little concerning but he wasn't going to comment on it yet, not until he had more information.

"But I have worked on enough custom and limited release androids to say that building one from scratch wouldn't be an issue." He had managed to get his hands on the equipment necessary to build custom parts for androids, so thankfully he wouldn't have to rely on any outside help from any former Cyberlife employees for the parts.

Dan and Peter both turned to look at Nines when Willow mentioned the authorities, the RK900 glanced at them before his LED turned yellow and his eyes took on a far away look. The LED returned to a calm blue after a moment as he refocused on the two looking at him. "I have found no law that prohibits what is being requested. So the work would be perfectly legal." Nines responded to the unasked question, knowing that was the reason they'd turned to look at him.

"Even if it wasn't, it probably wouldn't be the worst illegal thing I've done." Peter giggled as he turned his attention back to Dan who gave him a knowing look. "Tricking a Cyberlife employee and buying an android at fourteen is probably way more illegal then sticking a digital brain into an android." He smiled at Dan as he hugged the PL600's head, the android gently patting his arm in response.

"He really means a lot... How come?" Strasky asked, he decided it was time he asked as the relationship between the two was clearly familial, but he couldn't figure out just what role Dan fit into in Peter's mind.

"Well, I may call the androids here my friends, I only call two my brothers. Dan is one of them, basically the older brother I didn't know I wanted." Peter answered happily, showing he really didn't have an issue with putting an android into such a special role as most humans would. "Sure, Dan's only four years old, but he's way more of an older brother then a younger one."

Strasky nodded, he knew there was more to the story of how and why Dan was acquired, he just wasn't sure if anyone else cared to know so he decided not to press further. But after all he had seen with the relationship between androids and humans, he was happy to see one where both felt like they were equals.

"Cyberlife has already done something kinda like what you're probably thinking anyways. GV200 looks exactly like Kamski's half brother Gavin, his entire existence was basically being made in the hopes of Gavin running into him and getting upset about it. Which never happened before the company that owned him had him junked, turns out Gavin doesn't travel by plane like Kamiski thought. But I fixed him up, with Kamski's help as the parts were custom and that was my first time dealing with that." Peter sneered at the mention of working with Kamski, Dan had a similar reaction which made it clear the man hadn't made a very good impression with them.

"Getting accused of being the one to make him was not fun... Thankfully, Gavin believed me when I told him who had actually done it so he's only gone off on me for it the one time. Guess I should've known something was up when Kamski showed up after I placed the parts order, but it's hard to tell what the face of an android with no skin looks like until you turn them on." Nines smirked a bit at Peter's mention of Gavin's behavior, showing he had some level of experience with it.

Well, it was good to know they were going to meet even more androids by just being in Peter's immediate vicinity. At least so far only one seemed fine attacking strangers on sight, even though Bishop wasn't too keen on trusting Nines' either after the poor state he showed up in.

And knowing there was another nearly identical more deranged android around they hadn't met yet didn't please Bishop either. So he stood back with his arms crossed, keeping an eye out in case somebody else felt like joining them.

"It's funny, isn't it? You meet a whole new guy, but it's still you!" Rook said while giving Strasky an encouraging pat on the shoulder, "It looks like you guys have a thing for getting in trouble. But it's clear you're good at making friends too."

"Rook is something of an expert on the topic. However, we have more pressing matters to tend to." Willow chimed in, "To answer your question, it will indeed be custom work, but fortunately time isn't a concern."

"Yeah. We just want to know if you can put a construct into an android so they won't be stuck being formless entities anymore." Rook said with a shrug, "Those guys could really use having bodies again."

"You would be paid accordingly, both for the work itself and for the risk of taking part in such a project." A possibly illegal one, though Willow simply glanced at Dan instead of mentioning it out loud, "And we'd be thankful if none of this was mentioned to the authorities, or to Cyberlife, lest they start having more ideas they would come to regret later on."

[gregmarriage]

how does one watch frailty (2002), and not have their entire brain chemistry changed? like, i’m sat here, head in my hands like 😵‍💫🫠🫨

[bunnys-kisses]

Hi bunny!! Can I please get scones with a side of juice, served by Max Verstappen? 🫡 thx bae

bakery menu

want to submit your own order? check out the menu! i've been really back to writing since my chest infection got better so please! send me orders! i love seeing what ya'll request!! as for this one, thank you so much!

scones ("but what if they see us!) + juice (cockwarming) served by max verstappen (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, semi-public sex, oral sex (max receiving), cockwarming, risky sex, girlfriend!reader

sim racing was supposed to be fun. a relaxing activity for max to turn off part of his brain that was working overtime after a practice. it made logistical sense that after a long day of racing, he would go home and race some more.

but maybe that was max's weird brain.

so, why streaming with his friend was he so stressed. and why his eyes were less on the game in front of him and more on the camera. he scratched the side of his face as he tried to compose himself. but it was rather hard when his lovely, caring, kind, amazing girlfriend was between his legs with his cock in your mouth.

this all started as a bet. you had heard all about max's self control, that max was a storm that he kept at bay. he had nerves of steel. so it was simple, he got to stream with the boys and not break concentration.

"but what if they see us!" was max's first questions. but you silenced him with a few kisses and told him it would be fine. this only piqued his interest, "and what if i win this bet?" he asked as he snaked an arm around you shoulders. you were pulled close to him. his competitive spirit got the best of him.

you rubbed his chest and giggled, "well, anything you want, max. anything, well, except maybe murder. but, any which way you want to fuck me, you can have. but!" you tapped his nose, "only if you win."

"and what if you win?"

you just smiled at him, "oh don't worry, max." you waved your hand at him, "no need to worry about that at all!" which only alarmed him further.

so now he was white-knuckled on the steering wheel as he tried to keep up the conversation with his friends over the discord call. his attention was split three ways and it was making his brain melt.

it was a little over stimulaing, but the constant throb of your lips around his cock managed to anchor him to some kind of reality. the feeling was familiar.

in all fairness, you quite enjoyed his cock in your mouth. even with the blanket over his head and lap to keep your little secret hidden. it was hot under the fleece blanket, but when max shifted every so often, it made it worth it.

"yeah, mate, yeah." max said idly, he exhaled deeply as he tried to compose himself. but it was hard when you started to move your head a little more. his eyes almost rolled back into his head. he couldn't even grab the back of your head.

that would blow your entire cover.

but, deep down the entire thing was painfully hot. the thrill of possibly being caught. of having to be sneaky. it was rare that you two were sneaking around, so moments like these made liquid heat course through his veins.

you shifted a little under the blanket and continued to lick at his cock.

he felt your name on his tongue, but kept it together. even though it was a private call between friends. he didn't want to blow your cover, but it was hard when your mouth was on him so nicely.

usually he liked to hold onto your head and rock his cock up against your throat. so to leave everything up to you while he tried to split his attention was hard.

"how's your girl, mate?" he heard.

he frozen for a moment and felt you squeeze his thigh. he cleared his throat and said, "oh you know, same old, same old." your tongue grazed his achy tip and he almost threw the steering wheel. he exhaled once more, "i mean, she's fantastic as always." he chuckled.

he shifted in his seat a little bit and you giggled to yourself as you kept his cock in your mouth. you made a small noise and max coughed to cover the noise.

he thought he was done with the race, but was coaxed into another. and it was getting even harder to keep it together. he could feel his cock in the back of your throat.

you felt like a dream, you always felt like a dream. right now he wanted to just got his fingers into your hair and push his cock as deep as it'll go. he wanted to stain your throat with his cum.

"pretty girl." he muttered to himself absently.

his friend asked, "what was that?"

max's eyes went wide for a moment, he said, "nothing, nothing! just thinking about what my girl is making for dinner tonight." he nervously scratched his face, "she's my pretty girl, right? sorry, mate, too deep in my thoughts."

his cock hurt, but his balls hurt more. he felt his heartbeat in his ears, which made it harder for him to focus on what his friends were saying.

"shit." he exhaled deeply, the sweat clung to his neck.

the orgasm crept up on him, he tried to split his attention. but primal need to climax down your pretty throat overtook his mind. he held back any lustful noises and coughed into the collar of his shirt as he came in your mouth.

you swallowed hastily and heard the slight noises that your boyfriend was making. you had fully broken him. he heard him cough through another moan as his cock grew soft in your mouth.

"hey mate." max said, his jaw tense. he could feel the blood in his face, "i have to go real quick, i'll talk to you soon, yeah?" and didn't wait for a response before he turned off his camera and left the discord call.

when he knew everything was off, he leaned back in his seat and covered his face with his hands. his heart was pounding as he felt you got up. soon the blanket that was covering your head was now covering both of yours.

you gave him a searing kiss and draped your arms around him. the kiss tasted salty and it made max's exposed cock twitch. you said in a sing-song voice, "i win!"

he groaned and looked at you, he could feel the what radiating off of you. he took the blanket off of you both and you and said, "please, whatever you do. just be gentle." <3

[xitsensunmoon]

EATS YOU YOUR ART AND THIS COMIC ESPECIALLY

Part 1: Here

THIS TOOK SO FUCKING LONG MAN IM SORRY FOR TAKING DAYS

[cutielando]

I just finished reading your chubby reader fic which I loved as a chubby girl myself!! I was wondering if you could do something similar with like a fit gym girlie I feel like muscle mummy’s tend to be forgotten a lot!

to the gym | l.n.

warnings!!: gymrat!reader (reader is described as being muscly and frequenting the gym)

my masterlist

Lando has always been keen on exercising. He didn’t really have a choice in the matter, seeing as his job required him to be in the best shape possible. 

However, that doesn’t mean that he looks down on people who don’t exercise as regularly as he did or at all. Every person was entitled to their own routine, in his opinion.

But when he met you, someone who lived and breathed exercise and hitting the gym, he felt like he had hit the jackpot. Being in the gym together, sharing your love for exercise with each other and always pushing one another to better themselves.

It was a dream come true, frankly. 

The first time he had suggested joining you for your workout, he figured you would go easy on yourself, do some light exercises and call it a day. The shock on his face when he saw you lifting weights, twice the weight he himself could barely lift, was something out of a movie.

You had found it so endearing, seeing him staring at you with such a perplexed expression and shock, you found it sweet and funny at the same time.

“Why are you looking at me like I’ve suddenly grown 3 heads that I don’t know about?” you joked once you had put the weights back and joined him where he was standing.

“You know you just lifted twice what I can lift, right?” he said, eyes still wide and staring back at you.

You laughed, holding your belly as your laughter rang through the fairly empty gym. This was one of your favorite things about living with Lando, the fact that the apartment building where you both lived had a private gym exclusive only for the residents.

“Babe, you know I’ve been a gym rat for years now. What did you think I’ve been doing all this time?” you asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Lando shrugged, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his pants.

“I don’t know, running on the treadmill? I figured you lifted weights and all that stuff, but I didn’t think you could lift more than me. And I’ve been training straight up hardcore my entire life” he explained, scratching the back of his neck before he reached out for your hand and pulled you closer to him.

You chuckled, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting yourself melt against his body.

“I can do more than that, but I’m still jet-lagged and my body takes a while to recover, you know” you explained, making the shock return twice as intense.

Lando could swear his brain was malfunctioning. He didn’t know why or how, but the way you were speaking and the things you were saying were doing things to him. He found you so attractive before, but now it had reached a whole other level.

“Have I ever told you how hot you are?’ he asked, his voice having dropped to a dangerous low mumble.

You bit your lip, looking into his eyes sensually. If you had known this was all it took to get to him, you would have brought him with you a very long time ago.

“You have, and I could say the same about you. However, as much as I want to jump your bones this very second in this very gym, I need to finish my workout and you need to work on your neck” you said, your lips brushing against his as you suddenly pull away from him and make your way towards the treadmill for a running session.

Lando stared dumbfounded as you walked away from him like nothing had happened, getting back to your workout just like that.

He would lie if he said he didn’t want to just ditch his workout and take you upstairs, but he knew Jon would be coming soon enough to help him with his neck training and he didn’t want to have to explain to him why he decided to skip it.

♡♡♡♡♡

Ever since that first day in the gym, Lando had insisted on joining you for every workout routine that he had time to attend. It didn’t matter if he had just got back from a race halfway across the globe, or he was tired and sore.

He wanted to be there, even if it was just to watch and admire.

“Baby, you’re tired, you really don’t have to come with me” you argued with him one very early morning as you were getting ready to go downstairs to the gym.

Lando had just got back home very late last night, having flown all the way from China. The amount of sleep he got was nowhere near enough for him to get enough rest after such a busy weekend.

And yet there he was, wide awake before 8 am and ready to go watch you while you work out. 

“But I want to watch you” he pouted, his eyes barely open. His hair was fluffy and his curls were sticking up in every possible direction.

You sighed, knowing you would never be able to say no when he looked at you like that, lips all pouty and those puppy dog eyes staring right into your soul.

“You need to sleep, love. You’ve barely had any time to rest this weekend and when you finally come home you’d rather come and watch me exercise than get some sleep?” you asked, smiling slightly, but you already knew the answer.

“I would rather spend any time with you than sleep. If you’re not here with me then what’s the point of sleeping?” he asked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

You chuckled, shaking your head. He knew how to weasel his way straight into your heart, saying things like that which you couldn’t overlook.

Once he noticed the defeated look on your face, he got up from the bed and took your hand, offering to carry your bag downstairs.

When you arrived downstairs, you were pleased to see that there was nobody in the gym at that hour, giving you two some much needed privacy.

“Alright, I’m going to run on the treadmill for a while and then do some leg lifting. Are you okay here by yourself for a little while?” you asked him once you put your earphones in and your headband on your head.

He nodded, taking a seat on a bench in the middle of the room. The sight all but melted your heart, the way he sat there with his hands on his lap, like a little kid waiting for his mother.

You nodded and leaned in to quickly kiss him on the lips, turning on your music and getting to work.

It wasn’t even 20 minutes after that you got off the treadmill and noticed Lando had fallen asleep on the bench, his head resting on his knee. You pouted, taking out your phone and snapping a quick picture.

Because you knew there was no way he was comfortable in that position, you decided to cut your workout short and get him to bed, figuring you could get some more sleep yourself.

“Lando, baby. Come on, let’s go upstairs” you slowly shook him awake, his eyes opening and meeting yours sleepily.

“Are you done working out?” he asked, stretching a little and looking around, seeing you more rested than you usually were.

“I only ran on the treadmill today, I’m skipping my legs session today so we can catch up on some sleep together” you explained, taking his hand and trying to get him to follow you upstairs.

He protested, shaking his head and not moving an inch.

“No, go on and finish. We can get some sleep later. I don’t want you to jeopardize your routine because of me. I’ll watch, do your thing” he said and planted himself more comfortable on the bench, now facing towards the apparatus he knew you would be using.

You smiled lightly, finding his obsession with watching you train endearing.

Never before in your life had anyone been as supportive of your workouts than Lando has been. Compromising his sleep schedule just to see you train and do your thing, sleeping on a gym bench just so he could watch you in your element.

You couldn’t have asked for a better partner in life, someone just as passionate about the gym as you were.

Maybe even more.

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[bamboobooshark]

LOGAN HOWLETT X READER

‧₊ ᵎᵎ 🧸 ⋅ ˚✮ SQUISHY (1) : 866 WRDS

( PART TWO HERE )

A/N : Rambling warning! An amazing reader recently asked if I could write a series with Steven and Jake, but I declined due to lack of skill for writing plots. “Squishy” will be an experimental, practice miniseries in which Logan is the (implied plus-sized) reader’s father figure, and care giver for when they regress. I SWEAR I will eventually write some Logan stuff that isn’t fatherly/platonic!

You wake up and are still in a pretty stressed state. Last night you argued with your best friend, and they ended up blocking you. It wasn’t like them to do that. All that time the two of you spent together, every deep conversation, every moment of vulnerability soured just because of a disagreement. You never would’ve expected it, but here you were, sulking as your mind was screaming at you.

It was hard to think. It was hard to do anything. It was just hard.

Thank god for Logan Howlett, though. He came into your room with cautious steps and a worried look. “Hey, kid. I noticed you didn’t come down for breakfast,” he said with a soft voice. His gaze lingered on the outline of you under your blanket while patiently awaiting a response. “Just let me know if you end up getting hungry. I’ll make you something, okay? In the meantime I’ll be in my room,” he told you with a tone that pleaded for a response. After standing in the awkward silence of your room, he slowly walked out.

You weren’t really hungry. You’d lost your appetite. You didn’t want to do anything. But Logan’s tone tugged at your heart and flipped a switch in your brain after you sat there for a while and processed his words. You felt your stomach get fluttery and your bottom lip pushed out in a bit of a pout. You needed to get to him as soon as possible.

As much as your body didn’t want to, your mind convinced it to drag itself out of bed and go down the hall to Logan’s room. You knocked while holding your favorite stuffed animal against your chest. You felt a bit nervous seeking out his affection and care after you completely ignored him. Realistically, you’d probably end up crying if you didn’t get what your heart ached for.

Your slightly trembling hand reached to knock on his door. “Papa? Can I come in, please? I want cuddles,” you called to him. Logan smiled to himself softly. Mostly because you finally came to talk to him, but also because he loved caring for you when you regressed. “Yeah! You can open the door, babydoll. I ain’t doing anything,” he said with an optimistic tone. You giggled softly, your hand gripping your stuffed animal a little tighter out of excitement.

You peeked into his room before fully stepping in. Logan was lying on his bed, one leg on top of the other, cigar in hand, and wearing his usual attire. His hand scratched at his fluffy jaw while leaning his head against his forearm. He smiled when you made your way into his room. “Come on, kid. I might bite, but I won’t bite you,” he joked. He put out his cigar while exhaling deeply, the smoke curling up against his face.

His old bedframe squeaked as you climbed onto his mattress. “There you go, little one,” he cooed softly. He wrapped one arm around your side while the other rested on his stomach. A soft hum came from his throat as he carefully grabbed your stomach rolls. “My squishy little doll,” he whispered to you.

He loved feeling all the soft bits of your flesh. Anytime the two of you cuddled or had “sleepovers” in the living room, he’d grab a chunk of whatever he could. Your thighs, your stomach, your waist. Anything he could.

You curled up into his side, sandwiching your stuffed animal between you and Logan. “You brought a little friend with you. They’re so cute, aren’t they,” he asks sweetly. You smile and nod against his chest.

He reaches the hand that’s on his stomach to your thigh and moves it to rest on his hips. He pats the skin softly before he gives your thigh a good squeeze like he did to your stomach. “You are just so soft and amazing, kid. You know that,” he asks before kissing your forehead. You nod in agreement once more while letting out a soft squeak from all the affection. “Squishy, squishy, squishy,” he hums softly to you.

Logan nuzzles his face against the top of your head, his beard brushing your forehead gently. He keeps his hands where they are as they still slightly grasp your body. The two of you stay lying there for a moment. You can hear his heart beating steadily accompanied by his deep breathing. Wind whistles against the glass of Logan’s window. The sheets rustle every so often when he repositions his hand or kisses your forehead again. This whole moment almost lulls you back to sleep.

Until Logan gives you a little tickle. “Papa! That’s mean,” you pout softly. He chuckles at your disruption to the silence. “I’m sorry, doll! I couldn’t resist. You expect me to not do that when I’ve got my hand right here on your stomach,” he asks playfully while getting a tighter grasp on the flesh. You squeal at the feeling, unaware that he didn’t even mean to tickle you that time. Nonetheless, he keeps a playful grin on his face. He pats your side and sighs deeply. “How about some breakfast, kid?”

[fics-a-plenty]

Hurtful Words and Bear Hugs

Astarion x gn!reader x Halsin

Word Count: 1,411

TW: Spoilers for Astarion's story in Act 3, mentions Astarion's victims, reader crying

Hi! It's been awhile!

This game literally has me in a choke hold. I am so weak for these two men. I love that you can have a little romance between the three of you. 🥰

As always, I hope you enjoy. Feel free to send any requests for these two as they own my thoughts at the moment!

The days following their victory over his past master, Astarion had struggled with his thoughts and feelings. He felt terrible for how distant he had become, especially as you tried your best to be supportive. Yourself struggling with how to balance giving him his space and wanting to just hold the lost man until his world seemed to piece itself together again.

The one thing stopping him from his full blow guilt was that Halsin was there to distract you at times. The larger man seemed to have a better grasp on his emotions than Astarion did, always seeming to pull you off to some task that needed your attention just at the right times or to lead you back to Astarion's tent with hands and hearts full from their adventures whenever he felt the weight of loneliness creep back in. The pale elf was even sure that at times the druid spoke to Scratch and the owlbear cub to cause small bits of chaos or demand attention from you when he could no longer keep your focus.

Astarion was especially grateful for the times the three of you could spend time together in peaceful silence, either walking around near the camp or just sitting near the fire while he read next to you as you focused on redoing the braids on the side of Halsin's head. While the days seemed to be getting better, and his heart seemed to fill in the empty spots left behind by his revenge and the past that had lead to it, some days seemed to thrust him right back into the deep of it.

He pretended not to see the sad glances you shot him as you racked your brain for some way to help. He knew you meant well and normally he would appreciate it or tease you for how wrapped around his finger you were, but today it just seemed to be to much. He hadn't meant for the groan of annoyance to leave his lips as you came by his tent for the third time today, wanting to check in on him.

"What is it you could possibly want this time?" He snapped as he slammed his book shut, shooting a glare at you from where he sat in his tent. "If you're coming to see how I'm doing, let me save you the breath. I'm the same as I was the other million times you've interrupted me today. Now do you have something to actually contribute to my time or can I read in peace?"

It took a moment for him to realize just what had been said, and by the time the guilt had built up in his chest, your eyes had gone glossy. You turned your face away, not wanting him to see your tears welling up.

"I was just coming to tell you that Halsin and I were going into the city to get a hot meal. I was gonna see if you wanted to come, but I guess I'll let you read."

He could have sworn that he could hear his cold heart crack at the shake in your voice. His lips parted to apologize, but his throat tightened around the words before they could leave. He sat in silence as he watched you turn to walk back to where Halsin was waiting nearby.

His eyes met the druid's before you got to him. The wood elf's eyes seemed to be conflicted, split between knowing Astarion hadn't truly meant to hurt your feelings and the disappointment that the interaction had gone so wrong. Once the two figures were gone from sight, the vampire let out a deep sigh and tried to go back to his book. The words just wouldn't come to him now, and every thought seemed to lead back to the hurt look on your face.

Tossing the book onto the ground next to him, he ran his hands through his hair, partially wishing that he could physically push the thought to the back of his mind or even out of his brain altogether. Deciding to take a walk around camp, the lingering eyes of the other camp inhabitants pushed him to walk further and further away until the camp faded from view.

He wasn't even sure how long he wandered, lost in the downward spiral his mind had fallen into. The tears in your eyes fading into the tears of the past victims as they realized the pain he had lead into. Visions of the lives he had ruined flooded his mind until he couldn't take it. An almost feral scream ripped from his throat as he swung his fist against the trunk of a tree he had wandered to close to, another innocent victim to the control he didn't have over himself.

The pain pulsing in his hand seemed to help ground him as he fell to lean his back against the hard bark. He would have been a sight to anyone wandering by, the pale elf with a bloody hand resting in the ground. His fangs bared in his open mouth, and his chest heaving to try to catch his breath. The now rising moon beginning to reflect off the streaks of wetness down his face.

As his red eyes stared up at the glowing rock, he began to push through the dark thoughts, trying his best to lock them back in the recesses of his mind they belonged in. The sound of your voice began to ring in his mind, helping to fend off the thoughts of self doubt and hatred that lingered. The countless times you had told him that he was good enough, that he was worth being loved and cherished. The times you had kissed his face until these same bad feelings were long forgotten.

As his heart and breath began to settle, the world seemed to know what he needed in that moment, and the wind shifted to blow gently against his face. His lips curled up slightly as the faintest whisp of your scent kissed his skin as if you were there with him. It dawned on him that in the hours he must have been gone that you were probably running yourself wild with worry. A short laugh forced itself from his lips as he imagined Halsin trying to quell your panic, probably saying something about some time in nature doing him good.

The walk back to camp was much quicker that he imagined, his feet pulling him home faster as your scent got stronger. It lead him straight towards Halsin's tent. The deep sound of the man's snore was almost as if he was walking into a real bear hibernating.

He froze for a moment as he saw you curled up against the bear of an elf. Your hand slowly moving back and forth over the hairy chest being the only sign that you were still awake. His feet moved him toward you before he asked them to, before he could even worry about if you would want to see him. He crawled in carefully behind you, not wanting to wake the other. His hand hovered over your side, hesitating at the thought that you may still be hurt.

Your skin against his brought him back to the moment as you pulled his arm over your waist. You thumb began to move side to side on his wrist, your wordless forgiveness warming his chest and releasing tension that he didn't know he was still holding.

"I'm sorry." The words were so quiet as they left his lips that he wasn't even sure he has really said them.

"I know." The quiet response was just as possible to be a fantasy.

"I didn't-" His throat closed again as you turned to look over your shoulder at him.

"I know." Turning your face back forward, you brought his hand to your lips before squeezing it slightly and clutching it to your chest.

The moment of peace was interrupted by the sleeping druid rolling over and throwing his arm over the two. As his thick arm tightened around them, each you and Astarion let out a groan as you were both crushed into the bear hug. The smiles on the three faces and the quiet laughs drifting from the tent seeming to right every wrong in the world for just the moment as the two of you joined Halsin in a well needed night of rest.

[fanfiction4sooya]

omg hiiiii i love ur writing sooo much! can i request a choerry smut? no specific requests, do what you like!

Sorry for taking so long and thank you for the request, love! 💖And Well, this idea of stalker sister in law Choerry is in my mind for ages now so I decided to write it down.

cw: stalking, illegal filming, choerry is way too mean, cursing, size kink, monster strap (10 inch), fingering, packing, implied hunter & prey dynamics, dubcon, cheating, hard tit play, reader loves pain, lots of hard biting, spitting, marking, spanking, scratching, etc. Not really proofread so if you see any mistakes... no you didn't.

Men and minors dni

It started lightly, her eyes scanning you a lot more than they should, her hand going to your hips every time she passed by you, her always following you with her eyes whenever you had someone else over, etc.

The thing is: Choerry is gorgeous, undeniably so. Her face and body are heaven made and that sly little smirk of her gets you all flustered anytime it's directed towards you. She always seemed to know something you didn't, but you really didn't know why.

So of course you felt guilt creeping up on you every time she did anything of provocative nature. You loved your brother and you wanted him happy and even though she was a menace, she did all that for him and you couldn't break the idea of a happy family from him like that, so you just remained silent and the farthest from her possible.

So much that he really thought you hated his wife so he'd always bug you about it.

"Come on, you two and mom are the most important people in my life" He leaned against the door frame of your bedroom, arms crossed under his chest. "Would you consider being nicer to her?" He asked, concern filling his eyes.

"I'm not being mean to her" You rolled your eyes at him.

"You are not being nice to her as well" He said, frustration evident on his voice. "She is trying, come on. Stop being so distant, give her a chance" He huffed and you sighed, scratching your forehead with your eyes closed. You knew he wouldn't budge. "we'll go to our anual family trip and this time promise me you'll be nice to her" He pleaded. He really loved her.

Oh you were such a bitch.

"Will you stop annoying me with that matter?" You said, looking up from your computer and he nodded.

"I swear to god I will!" He said, knowing you'd break any time soon.

"Okay, okay..." You said. "I'll be nice to her, I promise" He smiled pulling you up in a bear hug.

"Thanks sis, you are the best" He ran out of your room all smiley.

You took a deep breath, trying to fill your lungs with much needed oxygen.

"Nothing is going to happen, relax" You sat on your bed, trying to take your mind off of any possible dirty thought.

For your surprise, you wouldn't be attending the trip due to a important presentation that you needed to get ready for, much for your brother's disappointement (and your relief).

You didn't need the temptation of having Choerry provoking you with her little lewd acts, making you dream of her between your legs and all the other fucked up stuff one could possibly think of. You were away from her. You were safe.

The weekend came by quickly and without much fuss your family left, leaving you all alone for the next five days. You studied, ate a little and overall just rehearsed over and over until you couldn't anymore.

Looking at the time, it was already 7pm and you realized nothing more would enter your brain so you decided to just taker a shower and relax eating a pizza.

You put your order up, going straight to the shower.

The warm water hit your back, relaxing your tense muscles and creating a cozy enviroment for you to close your eyes for a moment and allowing you to finally think of the problem you avoided by not going on the family trip. She would be there to tempt you, to taunt you and haunt your dreams like a predator haunting it's prey.

She knew how much she affects you, you were sure of it; and still, she basked on the feeling of being rejected by you, on the way you avoid her gaze but goes completely silent whenever she touches your waist or say anything right by your ear...

Uncounsciously your hand slipped down between your legs, making you tremble when it touched your sensitive clit.

"Fuck" You muttered, feeling the slick between your folds. You circled your clit with your middle finger, eyes still closed in concentration thinking of her, torn between shame and arousal.

You moaned louder than the first few whimpers, realizing you could be loud all you wanted because you were by yourself; your free hand grabbed one of your boobs with brute force as an attempt to make yourself cum soon, since you had a pizza to get downstairs and you were so needy you needed to get off quickly.

Your hips jolted a bit, feeling your orgasm built in your belly; a string of moans and curses leaving your hips as you frantically circled your clit, squeezing your whole boob with your hand. You came hard, losing all strenght you had on your legs and sliding to the floor, pulsing and aching for more, almost crying in frustration. Jerking off wasn't enough anymore. You needed someone.

You needed her.

After a few minutes you went out of the shower, wrapping a towel over your body and one on your hair, humming something on the way to your room.

The scream you let out was loud, terrifying.

In your bed was her, sprawled out like a magazine cover, mindleslly scrolling through your phone on her side, wearing a plaid skirt and a tank top that barely covered her chest.

"W-what are you doing here?" You said . Not that you prefered her exactly, but she wasn't supposed to be in town and it was better her than a thief or a stalker inside your house.

"Oh, hello" She said, sitting down and crossing her legs. "Your brother didn't tell you, right?" She devilishly smiled, getting up. Her eyes scanned you up and down as she walked towards you, making you clutch your towel. "He planned for me to stay with you this weekend since you wouldn't attend the family trip" She put her hands behind her body, leaning closer to you. "He even called it a girl's weekend"

You were sure she could read your mind, but still you tried to reject her.

"I don't want you here" You said, gulping when her eyes got serious and that dangerous smile didn't leave her lips.

"Your brother told me you would be nice" She said between her teeth, her face getting closer to yours.

"I said that so he'd leave me alone" You said with your chin up, defying her, rejecting her so she'd leave. She smiled wider.

"Good" Choerry bit her lip, straightening her back. "I don't like nice girls" She said, turning around. "I'll wait for you downstairs so we can watch a movie"

"We are not-" You tried telling her but she was already gone. Huffing, you closed your eyes as you felt the wetness between your legs.

After cleaning yourself, you dressed your light purple pajamas you were planning on before your little visit decided to show up, not minding in putting underwear or a bra at all; If she was going to be there anyway, you'd rather be comfortable. It was your house and not hers.

Going downstairs you saw her sitting on the couch, already deciding on what you two were going to watch. She turned to you, and you swore to yourself you saw her eyes darkening as they roamed around your body, stopping on your tits.

"Stop staring at me" You said, sitting on the other side of the couch and she raised her eyebrows.

"Why?" She simply asked in an amused tone.

"You make me uncomfortable" Grabbing a pillow to hug closer to your chest, you tucked your legs under your body as to hide from her predatory gaze.

She didn't say a thing, choosing the movie without asking you anything at all. She chose The Handmaiden and you didn't complain, you were dying to watch that movie and well, you didn't know she chose it for a very specific reason...

🌸🌸.

The air felt dense when that part of the movie came up, catching you by surprise. You didn't move and were barely breathing, scared she could feel how aroused you were. Contrary to what you've thought, she couldn't read your mind but your body language; your shallow breaths and the way your hand clung to the pillow while you squeezed your legs so so lightly it was almost impossible to get anything from that stimulation alone. In the movie the two protagonists were panting, moaning, screaming and-

The doorbell.

You quickly got up, running for your life like a deer on a dark road. It was the pizza guy. You got so caught up in avoiding your brother's wife you didn't even remember you had orderd pizza almost an hour ago. "Hi, I'm sorry for making you wait for so long" He said, apologetic. "My bike broke down in a place with really bad phone service" He scratched his head with his free hand.

"Oh, no problem at all" You smiled at him, feeling bad. "It happens" You shrugged.

"Here, take it" He said. "It's on the house" Blinking at you, he got a bit closer to give you the pizza. His eyes quickly scanned the cotton pajamas that clunged to your body, almost too revealing.

"What?" You grabbed the box. "No, let me pay you-" You were about to say as Choerry appeared right behind you, her body felt bigger as she leaned on the door frame.

"Take your money and leave" She threw cash at him with one hand, pulling you into her with the other, a yelp leaving your lips. "She is not interested" The guy frowned.

"My bad, I didn't know she was taken" He raised his hands and she scoffed.

"But she is, now fuck off" She closed the door on his face after pulling you out of the way. Your knees buckled with the feeling of her possessiveness over you, with her warm hand around your waist and her heavy breath on your ear.

"I'm not taken and get away from me" You sounded so unsure she scoffed.

"Why?" Her nails sunk on your tummy over your pajama top and you shivered. "Are you afraid you might do something you'll regret later?" She whispered, her breath fanning over your neck and you rolled your eyes as arousal hit you like a bullet.

You pulled yourself from her, going to the kitchen to put the pizza there and to get away from that vile creature. Choerry smiled, the thrill of chasing you getting her so wet she could feel her panties dampening.

The raven haired woman followed you to the kitchen; her steps precise, stopping right behind your body and pressing you against the counter. You felt something hard poking your ass, making you panic a little.

"What-" You started saying but you felt her firm hands grab your breasts as if they were made of plastic. Rough, needy and raw. "You are hurting me" You whimpered but you both knew it wasn't a whimper of pain. Far from that, to be precise.

"I know you like it when it hurts" She panted, biting on your neck with force as well and you trembled, a full moan slipping off of your pretty lips. "I've seen it over and over" Her hips kept a grinding motion over your ass, gropping and biting you all over.

"Please, stop..." Your lips said, but your mind kept screaming that you needed her. "My brother..."

"Your brother won't ever know I fuck his littler sister because she is a little pain slut who can't seem to get of properly by herself" She said in a mischievous tone, sucking dark spots on your neck while moaning on your ear. "You sounded so good today in the shower, fuck" She sucked a dark spot on your neck, almost growling onto your ear. "I am going to watch it again when I'm by myself"

You froze.

How did she know about the shower? Watch it again? Did she record you?

Pushing her away, you tried to run but your wobbly legs wouldn't let you go far and you fell face first on the living room's carpet.

"Yes, little one" She pulled you by the hair with so much force it lifted your face from the carpet. "Run from me as much as you possibily can" She gropped a fistfull of your ass and you moaned, tears pooling on your eyes. She turned your body around, locking your wrists above your head and straddling your waist.

"Why are you doing this?" You asked but she forcibly kissed you, biting your lower lip and making you whimper loudly. "God, f-fuck" It was all you managed to say when she kissed down your neck.

"I am doing this because it is what you want me to do" She held your cheeks between her fingers as you panted, trying to close your legs so she wouldn't find the wet spot in your shorts. "This cat and mouse game trying to keep me away only made me want you more and you know it"

She kissed you again, a hand squeezing down your neck and the other going down inside your shorts as your eyes rolled far back. She hissed when fingers found your folds covered in slick, and you moaned, squeezing her muscular arm as two fingers invaded you in one go.

"You don't want me touching you here, right?" She asked and you shook your head no, eyes closing in pleasure due to her fingers curling inside you and her other hand chocking you. "Lying whore" The hand that previously squeezed your neck slapped your breast so hard you almost came, your pussy clenching on her fingers.

She took her fingers off of you, both hands pulling the straps of your top so roughly they broke. She smiled.

"I always knew your breasts were sensitive, little mouse" She gropped them, pulling your nipples with blunt force. You screamed. That was too much, too much... and you wanted her to keep going, mind hazy with lustful thoughts, your poor brother long forgotten. "I like to watch you when you touch yourself because you always squeeze them to try getting off but it's too little for you, huh?"

"Please Choerry, please" Tears slid beautifully from your eyes as she slapped your bare breasts, each smack harder. Your skin was on fire and you were loving every single second of it.

She did it about 4 times each and you didn't even realize you were cumming all over your light purple shorts, the material getting dark all over the surface your arousal could reach.

You were trembling, shaking, crying, all at the same time. Your neck all marked up in darkening spots, tits burning and pulsing, pussy clenching around nothing... you were a mess. And she was yet to fuck you. Pulling you up as if you were nothing but a rag doll she lifted your ass up, forcing your face down. You tried to run again, and she scoffed, pulling you by the hair.

"Now that you know I like chasing you, you'll keep doing it right?" She pulled your shorts down, letting go of your hair to pull your ripped top over your head too, leaving you completely naked and ready for her to take. "Look" She made you kneel by her side as she did the same, lifiting her skirt up to show you the big strap she was packing.

"It's too big" You pulsed when her eyes glimmered.

"You'll make it fit" She grabbed you by the hair. "Now suck" She pulled your face down roughly, your lips finding the tip of that grotescally huge thing.

It was at least 10 inches and girthy, so much that your cheeks were puffed as you tried pushing your face lower. Choerry held you by the hair, not moving her hips, but her eyes were on your pretty lips wrapped around her cock, drooling on her lap and thighs, making a mess.

"Fucking slut..." She growled when you gagged, not able to put it all in your mouth. "I've been wanting to do this for so long" She pushed your head further down and you gagged again, your pussy dripping on the carpet. She pulled you off of the faux cock, immediately kissing your plump lips as you tried your best to breathe.

"You are going to take me so well" Her kisses descended from your lips to your chest area that were covered in your drool, as you tangled your hands on her locks. Licking your nipples she let out a moan of satisfaction when her eyes found the dark spots on your neck.

It seemed like she knew you with the back of her hand as you felt her teeth envelope your nipple, biting and tugging with precise force to make you cry out.

"Oh my god, oh m-" You whinced when she did the same with the other, slapping the one she just bit.

"Fuck baby" She turned you around, pushing your head down again. "Will you let me do as I please?" She said on your ear, her fingers grabbing the skin of your ribs and tugging at it to bring you pain and mark you on the process.

"No" You said and she slapped there, making you yelp.

"I will use you anyway, you slut" She said, spitting on the fake thing. You shook your head no but she was already positioned behind you, sweat dripping from her face. "Look at this little whore hole" She plucked two fingers inside of your pussy, panting in anticipation, smearing your wetness all over her fake shaft.

It was so girthy it was hard to wrap her fingers around it and she smiled. Oh you were going to take her so well.

"Your pussy is so little, fuck..." She tapped your slit with it and you moaned, grabbing the carpet under you as to try bracing yourself.

But well, nothing could have prepared you for the amount of pressure and pain a 10 inch dildo could bring. She was only halfway in but it was already too much.

"Please, it hurts" You rolled your eyes far back in your skull and she smiled.

"Do you like it?" Choerry said, slapping your ass with bruising force.

You wanted to say no. You wanted to push her away and run far from her. But you'd be lying if you said you didn't like it. You loved it. The feeling of being used, your little holes being filled with something so big and heavy... it all made you tremble with desire.

"Y-yes" You cried out when she pushed one more inch inside, almost all in. "please, use me" You said, biting the back of your hand, drooling all over it as tears escaped from your eyes.

"Oh, my little pain slut" She pulled you up by the hair, sliding the rest of the dildo inside of you. The moan you released was gutural, deep. It was almost splitting you in half but if she told you to take a few more inches you would. For her you would.

You felt pride cursing through your veins like a snake's venom. You could take it, all of it.

Oh you were so aroused.

Choerry bit your shoulder, tugging at one of your nipples as her other hand held your hips very firmly, nails digging deep in your flesh. She moved her hips and you immediately started shaking, feeling the tip hit so deep you were sure it would be hard to sit and to stand as well the other day.

Her hips took off, her hand tangled in your hair near the scalp almost making your whole body bend backwards as she kept biting and licking your back and neck.

"I bought this especially for you" She grunted due to the force of her thrusts, her eyes also rolling back due to the pleasure of fucking you coursing through her veins. "I watch you every single night, do you know that?"

You were listening but you couldn't process anything correctly. Your brain focusing only on the pain and pleasure of being used, on her hand going to your lower tummy to press there and make you cry out even harder.

"I saw you push almost your whole hand inside of this needy pussy of yours and you gave me the idea of buying this huge thing" She slapped your ass, holding both sides of your hips hard enough to break the skin. You babbled, eyes rolling back as your upper body fell down on the carpet, your body shaking. "You fucking whore, you love the ideia of big things inside you, huh?"

She turned you around, not taking the big cock off of you. Your eyes were red and puffy and you looked beautifully fucked out already.

She forced your mouth open, spitting inside to then slap your cheek. Your boobs kept bouncing with each hard thrust and Choerry gave you a wicked smile, grabbing them with might.

"You are creaming, god" She said between moans. "You'll be mine from now on" Lifting your hips to meet her thrusts, she kept pulling you down to impale you in the 10 inch dildo, holding her own orgasm so she could release at the same time as you.

"Choerry, please" You cried out. "F-feels too good, fuck" You thought you were about to lose counsciousness, feeling your body go limp as your eyes were almost shut, but she didn't stop there.

Choerry gropped and tugged harder on your nipples, fully pulling you back to earth. You screamed for her to not stop, pleading for her touch that hurt and burned and yet you wanted more.

"Cum for me" She spat, fake cock deep inside of you and so you did as your whole body tensed up, shaking as your muscles battled against each other.

Her orgasm hit her hard as well, wetting the leather harness and making her whole body shake as she pulled you closer to her embrace to lick and bite you. She closed her eyes for a moment to appreciate that. Her number one obsession was right there in her arms, passed out due to how good she made her feel, a panting wreck.

She let go of you, pulling the dildo out of your slit to slip off the harness. You could barely keep your eyes open but you saw her lean back to pull her damp panties aside, fingers pressing against her slit until she pushed past the entrance, slightly hissing. Gathering her juices on her fingers she pulled them out, bringing them to your lips.

"Suck" She said and you, entranced by that absolutly insane woman, did exactly as she told you. Eagerly sucking on her fingers, eyes hazy and body still twithcing from the force of your orgasm. She pulled her fingers from your mouth to replace them with her tongue, humming in appreciation at her own taste.

"You are mine, do you understand?" She whispered, lips hovering over yours. You closed your eyes in shame and she held you by the neck, squeezing it. "Tell me you are mine, or else I don't know what I might do to you" She bit your neck and your pussy clenched, eyes rolling far back.

"I am yours" You hushed against her lips, a lonely tear escaping your right eye.

"Yes you are" She tapped your face with her fingers, getting up to watch your pussy as it leaked and clenched, still stretched out because of the huge dildo she shoved inside of you.

You saw her eyes darken, her raven hair falling in beautiful cascades around her perky tits.

"If you liked this monster cock I'm sure you'll love my fist all up in your pussy, pretty slut" She bit her lip and you eagerly nodded. "Oh you are so perfect for me..." She said, before shoving three fingers inside you to prepare your slit for her fist.

[douwatahima]

sorry to invoke james somerton again but i just watched his "apology" video and the way he addresses the criticism to his utena video has been scratching at my brain. for this who don't want to watch (which is so so fair), here's what he says:

"we ended up making a lot of videos we didn't want to make because people were asking for them and so there were a lot of videos we made that we didn't want to make and i think those videos are very clear on which ones those were. one of them never got officially released, it was released to patrons. some patrons have shared it to other people before all the videos went private and a lot of people hate the analysis nick and i did on it and so maybe it's good that that never got properly released because maybe it would have hurt people and i don't want that."

so, not directly saying he's talking about the utena video…but he's talking about the utena video lol. the thing that really gets me is like…look. full disclosure. i used to be subscribed to james somerton long before this whole thing blew up. i wasn't necessarily a big fan of his video style, but he talked about a lot of media i enjoy and i liked his analysis (that wasn't really his, but i didn't know that at the time) so i followed him.

the thing about him was he was always asking his followers for shows he should do videos on, especially anime, and then not long after making those posts he would post videos of "things to come" including like…every anime people suggested. not all of these shows ended getting videos made, but the point is james really set himself up as the queer anime video essayist; constantly promising videos about every show people told him they wanted.

and a lot of people loved that about him! a lot of the big names talking about anime on youtube are people doing season by season breakdowns or people talking about big shonen titles, and here was someone consistently pushing out long form analyses on less talked about shows! great! but to find out that not only was a lot of what he said plagiarized, but also that a lot videos were just shat out to appeal to his audience without any care or passion? just to get more views and more money on patreon? that's literally crazy when you're talking about something usually as involved as video essays.

on top of that i'm about 95% certain him doing an utena essay was a patreon tier goal (hence why that video was released there first). he literally heard queer anime fans asking him en masse for a video about one of the best queer anime of all time, decided to set it as a patreon goal, and then literally boxed himself into doing a video on an anime he didn't care about because he promised it to the people who payed him to be the "queer anime guy".

and the thing is he 100% didn't need to do that. he didn't need to "make a lot of videos he didn't want to make because people were asking for them". i follow a ton of video essayists who get requests for videos all the time! that doesn't mean they have to, or even should, make them if they're not passionate about the topic! video essays, when actually done well and with integrity, are hard work. that's why most good video essayists take a lot of time between videos! to think that this guy just took every possible suggestion, dangled them like carrots in front of his audience, that made a bunch of passionless, mediocre videos to solidify his station as the queer video essayist to watch is just…upsetting and disheartening tbh.

anyway if you want some actually good analysis of revolutionary girl utena, my favourites are "is revolutionary girl utena still relevant?" and "why revolutionary girl utena still slaps" by stushi, and "the shadow play gays" podcast (note: this podcast is run on the same feed as another podcast called "bitter jurors". you may have to scroll back a bit to find "shadow play gays", it started in 2021 if that helps, but i promise you it's worth it).

[sscieloz]

Mystery of Love

Hirai Momo x Member!reader

Synopsis: the group’s comeback is approaching. There’s a full day of shootings waiting ahead of you. You should rest, but you can’t sleep.

Warnings: hurt/comfort. reader talks about her feelings.

Word count: 2.5k

Notes: I AM STILL HERE ! not my best, but still ^^

Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.3 | Pt.4 | Pt.5 | Pt.6

—

Sometimes your thoughts were so loud inside your head you were sure everyone could hear them too. 

They were constant reminders of how everything was wrong in your life. The way you dealt with your loved ones, your daily routine, the way your brain worked, the words you chose to use in a conversation… everything was just deeply wrong. It was a constant reminder of how much you managed to mess up by just existing.

You could feel the familiar feeling starting to cripple your skin, followed by a million needles poking you at the same time. Yet, you knew that no matter how much you scrubbed, scratched, and hurt yourself, such feelings would never disappear. 

Said knowledge doesn’t keep you from running your nails all over your arms and abdomen, of course. At least the burning sensation was a vivid reminder that you was still hanging on. You were still alive; in Seoul, at the dorms, existing. You were not a ghost, and there was still hope. 

Like a mantra, you whispered the words in the dark, running your hands through your face to calm yourself down. The pressure worked, but that uneasy feeling still lingered, guilt-tripping your guts.

It’s been nearly six months since the episode, shouldn’t you feel any better already? You’ve been following your diet religiously, attending therapy twice a week, and working on reaching out whenever you felt one of your crises coming up— yet it seemed like it was all in vain. Despite all of your efforts, you still felt so wrong. 

How scary is it, to know that the anxiety was carved deep in your bones as part of who you were? 

Terrifying, indeed. 

You’ve done a great job convincing the girls of your progress, reassuring them there was no need to push their first comeback of the year. You told them it was fine to attend photoshoots, rehearsals, mv shootings, and go through promotions without fuss. 

Which was the truth, in a way. The staff were always kind and understanding to you, kind as they encouraged you to take short breaks after every hour or so. You felt seen, along with the strength and protection your unnies provided.

However, going to any pre-recorded events was still something scary. Especially one as important as Music Bank, where Onces would be ogling you with such attentive eyes. Not judging, naturally, but staring with their eyes full of hope… you couldn’t disappoint them, either. Not your fans, who loved you unconditionally, and your sisters, who have been nothing but patient and protective throughout these last months. They’ve done so much for you, who had nothing to give in return. 

Naturally, the girls would understand if you chose to be absent. They’ve told you so repeatedly, reassuring situation is completely understandable and that it’s incredible that you’re even participating in the comeback, but you know how much it hurts them to not be complete as a group. Without you, something is missing, even if it’s hard to understand what you could possibly add to these women, who already have everything. 

Joining them in their comeback was an honor, and you wouldn’t skip it for anything in the world. There’s nothing you wouldn’t do to have your unnies happy. 

The van will pick you up in the morning, so they’re all currently resting. And you’re exhausted— crushingly so, which is an easy thing to notice with no more than a quick look. Your new sleeping pills did not make the bags under your eyes go away, and you’re still bony, a shallow of the smiley, reserved maknae you once were.

Once again, your breaths grow rapidly, the pitch-black ceiling getting smaller with each passing minute, shrinking enough to trap your body inside the walls of your bedroom. You try to control your breathing by taking deep breaths to calm yourself down, just like your unnies usually do. Your apartment is too high up to hear the whistle of the trees or the noise of crickets, but somehow the stars in quiet night are enough. Those same stars, shining so bright in the late hours, remind you so much of the girls whom you share a home and a life with— your most loved ones, your soulmates. Let us in, Y/n, please. Let us help. they begged you, so loud in their silence. It pained them to give you space, as you’re well aware. If they could, they’d just wrap you up in a bubble and protect you from any sorrows. 

If only they could. 

You’re not alone. You don’t have to struggle by yourself. You can come to us.

With that in mind, you drop your covers and leave your bedroom, walking to the corridor in quiet, unhurried steps. It’s only once you reach the third room on the left that your long, delicate fingers brush the door, with barely any force. It opens easily, thanks to their no-locking policy, and you observe the room for a moment before settling in. 

Momo and Nayeon share a bedroom, just like old times. The room is vast— big enough for two queen-sized beds, and visibly messy. Clothes hang everywhere, either on the ground or left in a pile in some of the open drawers. You squint your eyes to adjust yourself to the darkness and notices the nail supplies cluttered on their tea table. Letters, legos, stuffed animals… so many objects that make you nearly lose balance many times, as you make your way to a pitch-black dot lost amidst the thick covers of Momo’s fluffy bed. 

You don’t mind, though. If anything, you find yourself giggling quietly, amused by how the pair had turned the bland room into a home within a few weeks. 

Surprisingly, it didn’t take long for the members to accustomed to living together once again. It had been years since they’d decided to live apart, but your episode had made them make the decision almost immediately. You needed them, so they’d be there for you 24/7, guarding and offering their best support. Sure, your new apartment was much more luxurious and spacious than any of their old dorms, but it was just as cozy and filled with love. 

And you needed that. You didn’t think so, naturally— fiercely advocating against their decision, terrified of making your bandmates change their lifestyle because of yourself, but they gave you no choice. In fact, you felt much like a baby as they moved things over and over, sitting down on the big couch while they did all the boring and hard work. 

It was nice to have the house noisy again, you noted. After so many years of living by yourself, you discovered you liked a little bit of chaos, especially those that came from your loved ones. You needed that. Once again, your unnies proved that they knew you best. 

You moved carefully to not wake Momo up, even though the dancer sleeps like a rock. Lifting the covers, you lowered your body until you were lying down in your unnie’s bed, staring at the older woman’s soft features. 

Momo was perfect in every way, and she was so _strong_, too. Not only with her toned muscles, she was a true pillar, taking care of her members so subtly they barely noticed. They were all drawn to her when things got rough. With her sleepish smile and round eyes, her easy laugh was like a beacon on a heavy storm. Talking to her was not only easy, it felt so freeing. You would always forget about your troubles for a few minutes, whenever they were together.

Without even noticing, your eyes start to water—you were so loved, and what for? What have you done to deserve such a honorable feeling? It’s hard to suppress your hiccups as tears start to water Momo’s pillow. Then, almost instinctively, Momo’s arms are around you, holding and bringing you closer until your noses are nearly touching. 

You focus on Momo’s eyes, which are still only half-open, and on the sounds she makes, purring as she tries to shake the sleep from her body so she can stay awake. Her hand goes to your hair immediately, fingers running through your scalp in circles. The delicate movements of Momo’s fingers differ from your usual clumsiness, but it’s so soothing that you calm down immediately.

“Can’t sleep, baby?” You shake your head at the sound of her raspy voice, with trembling lips. Momo knows the crying will soon get worse if she doesn’t do anything, so she holds you closer, her grip extra strong, “No no, don’t cry. It’s okay, you’re okay… we’ll help you.”

It’s a routine you’re used to, by now. At first, it made Momo nervous to see you in such agony, sobbing so hard you choked over nothing, desperate for air. Then, Mina explained to her that it was a way of releasing the heavy feelings you kept bottled up for so long, which put Momo’s nerves a little bit at ease. Still, it broke her heart to see you hurting. Her sweet little maknae, who’s always been so, graceful, and quiet…

Yet, Momo couldn’t do anything to take all this pain from your chest. She’d take it all in a blink, were that possible. She’d take all of your sorrows and keep them to herself. 

Instead, Momo brushes the wet strands of your hair away from your face, greeting you with a sleepy smile. “Hello, baby girl. Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

Your nod is so subtle Momo finds herself brushing her eyes, wondering if she’d imagined it. There’s a big pause, and the dancer starts to drool as she fights sleep to listen. 

“I…” You speak, and it’s like you’re a trainee all over again: small and anxious and so filled with doubts all you want to do is curl up and disappear forever. You gulp hard to suppress another sob. “I c-an’t do it, unnie. Music bank, tomorrow. I can’t. It’s just, there will be so many people and so many cameras and the fans don’t  know I’m weak, and if I fuck the group’s image once again we’ll never be invited to anything ever and it’s going to be all my fucking faul—" 

You bury your head in Momo’s chest, unable to look at the dancer as you open up your fresh wounds. It hurts to know the amount of hate and backlash they group has gotten because of your scandal. You still didn’t even know who leaked your hospital chart, but JYP did a good work of putting it all under the carpet. And to make all of the denying real, you had to look put together to the public. 

You don’t remember the last time you looked like anything but a crystal piece of art, full of cracks and ready to shatter into a million pieces. 

Lithe fingers touch your skin once again, moving without rush to not startle or overwhelm you. Momo knows what you need: her presence alone is already so comforting. You get a glimpse of her short, black nails as the older girl runs them over your arms, then your torso. 

“Do you want to try mirroring my breathing, baby? You always do it so well.” She asks and you nod immediately. With your face against Momo’s chest, you follow the rhythm of your unnie’s heartbeats, focusing on that alone. “That’s it, dear. Good Job.” 

Everything is suddenly pitch black: there’s only Momo’s loving embrace and the way your bodies are naturally tangled, so close to each other that two become one and your sorrows slowly dissipate amidst the warmth. Love does heal, you’re proof of that. You know so because, even if your progress isn’t nearly as you’d envisioned it, it’s still there. You’re slowly working to recovery, no matter how much your stubborn self denies it. And it’s much due to their help: your bandmates, your loves.

Momo’s thumbs brush your cheeks, washing your tears away as the minutes turn your crying into faint sniffles. “You’ve been so brave, Y/n. I’m serious. All the effort you’ve been pouring into our new comeback… it’s impressive. But please, please know you don’t have to do anything you don’t feel ready to do. We can wait, baby.”

And you knows they won’t pressure you by any means. Although sometimes, you wish they did. 

“I know, it’s just…” You sigh, untangling yourself from Momo so you can press your elbows onto the bed and run your hands all over your face, huffing with frustration. “I want to do it, unnie. I really do. I just don’t want to break in front of everyone and destroy our group’s image.” 

I don’t want to disappoint you again.

That’s what it was. Frustrating and tiring, to feel so unsure over something you’ve done a thousand times before.

“Y/n, look at me.” The dancer’s tone is imposing, so commanding you have no choice but to oblige immediately. “You’re the strongest person I know, and I admire you so much. We see you trying every day, baby, and it’s where we find our strength, too,” She adds, just as quietly, “On seeing you try. It makes me— makes us try to be better every day, too. For you. We love you, so much. And if it’s what you want to do, we’ll be with you every second of it.” 

How could you inspire them? It doesn’t seem possible. Not when you’re so weak, vulnerable and a complete mess. Your unnies are all so graceful and certainly much better at everything they do. You don’t understand Momo’s words, but it’s late, and you��re too tired to ask. So you simply nod, trying hard not to pout. 

It’s a different kind of sadness, one of not being able to give what your unnies so desperately want. The hopelessness is carved so deep in your bones you can’t do anything but sigh, shuffle, and turn until you’re staring at the ceiling and your hands are hidden under the covers, so Momo doesn’t notice how much they tremble.

“You can’t give me what I need.” You can’t fix what’s broken inside. You want to scream. I think I can’t, either.

“I can’t. I’m sorry for that.” She stops, staring down at you. Her dark orbs are filled with nothing but the purest form of love as she kisses your forehead and whispers, because it’s just the two of you together and the night is quiet, ever so private. “But I can love you.”

Those same loving arms evolve you again, and no more words are spoken. You don’t need to say anything else— no words suffice, not in any language. For now, Momo and you grow content falling asleep together, soothed by each other’s breathing and the promise of taking one step at a time. 

In Momo’s arms, you feel safe, respected, and loved. You fall asleep thinking you might be able to go through all of this, as long as you’re together.

[katsu28]

☕️ bradley ‘rooster’ bradshaw and "you know we need to talk." "about?" "i don't know...last night, maybe?"

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x mitchell!reader, mentions of vomiting, mentions of pregnancy, 1.9k

You shouldn’t have been here at Rooster’s place at this time of night. You should’ve been asleep, in bed, but instead you were here, knocking on his door in the middle of the night, all because you’d just discovered something not even two hours ago that would change the trajectory of not only your life, but probably Rooster’s too. 

It took a while, but he finally pulled open the door after your incessant knocking, rubbing his eye furiously as he peered out at who the hell was knocking on his door at three in the morning.

His hair was a riot, brown curls sticking out every which way, eyes bleary. He’d been asleep—of course he was. Anyone in their right mind would be. Except you weren’t really in your right mind right now. You were damn near close to losing it, trying your hardest not to spiral. 

“Y/N? What are you—why are you awake? What’re you doing here?” He yawned, scratching his chest groggily. When you didn’t answer, just stared at him like something was wrong, he gave his head a quick shake to wake himself up a bit. “Are you okay? What—come in, come inside, please.” 

You obliged, stepping past him and over the threshold into his apartment wordlessly. 

“Can I make you some coffee—no, coffee would probably be bad right now. Tea? Water?” He offered, gesturing you towards the kitchen. You settled at one of the barstools in front of the counter, leaning on your elbows, folding your hands. “Not really sure what this situation calls for. Seriously, are you okay? You look…not okay.” 

“I’m pregnant.” You blurted. Well, there went easing into the conversation. Bradley’s eyebrows flew sky high. But wait, there was more! “And I’m pretty sure you’re the father.” 

He blinked at you owlishly, utterly and completely dumbfounded. “Pretty sure? How sure is pretty sure?” 

“Entirely sure, actually. You’re the only guy I’ve been with in a really long time, so either it was a ghost, or it was you.” 

That was something you’d been wracking your brain for since the second you saw the three lines on the test. One night, four or five weeks ago, after some sort of celebration at the Hard Deck that you couldn’t even remember now. 

You remembered leaving the bar with Rooster, taking him home with you, kissing him a lot. It was entirely consensual, that much you could recall. But anything after that up until when you’d first started to feel icky was a blank.

You honestly didn’t even consider the possibility that you were in fact pregnant until your friend suggested it yesterday. Which is why you took the test. Never did you once think it would turn out positive.

It wasn’t that you didn’t think Rooster would be a good father. In fact, out of everyone you’d hooked up with over the years, he was probably the best option. Not that you really had any option, at this point. It was simple, plain as day. You were pregnant, and Rooster was the father. 

Rooster made a face. “Okay, gross. But you took a test? And it was positive?” 

“No, it came to me in a dream.” You snapped, glaring at him. “Yes, I took a test! I took three—all positive!” 

“Alright! Okay, that’s��wow, okay. That’s definitely…something to take in.” 

“I don’t know what to do.” You said quietly, staring hard at the marble countertop.

“Look, it’s late, we’re both tired. We don’t have to do anything right now, we don’t need to make any decisions right now. We have time.” He replied, shaking his head. We. He kept saying we, like he was planning on sticking around. You weren’t sure how to feel about it. “Why don’t you stay the night here and we can talk about this more in the morning?” 

You shook your head quickly. “No, I can’t, I have to be home to set up for the party—oh my god, the party! My dad.” 

“Your dad? What—Y/N, I’m pretty sure he’ll understand. Mav’s more modern than you give him credit for.” 

“Understand? Understand what?” You asked incredulously. Then you got what he was trying to say, and you let out a humorless laugh. “Rooster, we’re not telling him. We can’t tell him!” 

Your dad’s birthday party was tomorrow, and there were so many things you had to set up and do, this was probably the worst time for you to deal with everything going on right now. It wasn’t every day Pete “Maverick” Mitchell turned sixty. You needed everything to be perfect, and this brand new unexpected news was definitely not that. 

Rooster could tell you were starting to panic a little from the weight of everything, so he just went along with what you said, reaching over the counter to cover your hand with his. “Everything is gonna be fine, okay? Just get some rest. Please. Tomorrow’s gonna be a busy day, and you need to sleep.” 

You nodded distractedly, barely registering him guiding you towards the guest bedroom and settling you into bed. And maybe you were more tired than you thought, because your eyes fell shut on their own accord, and you were out like a light before Rooster even had the chance to close the door behind him. 

-------

The party was going great so far. There was food, music, all your dad’s Navy buddies. Everything was running smoothly, and you definitely weren’t thinking about your conversation with Rooster last night, or the fact that you left his house before the sun even rose to avoid talking about the situation even more. 

That was a lie. You couldn’t stop thinking of it, even as you smiled at every one of your dad’s friends jostling him about how old he’d gotten to be completely unaware of the surprise party his daughter planned for him. 

With every conversation about what you’d been up to in life lately, you thought about Rooster. The look on his face when you broke the news to him. The way he must’ve felt when he woke up and you were gone. He was probably mad at you, and you honestly couldn’t blame him. 

Like he knew it was him on your mind, Rooster materialized next to you, busying himself with browsing the drinks in the cooler to make it look like everything was normal. “Y/N.” 

“Enjoying the party?” You asked casually, crossing your arms over your chest. Rooster scoffed softly. 

“You know we need to talk.” 

Your smile wavered for a split second before returning in full force. You glanced over at him briefly, flicking from his very serious face then back to the party. “About?” 

“I don’t know…last night, maybe? You left before I woke up.”  

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“Nothing happened last night, Rooster.” 

“So you’re telling me you’re not pregnant right now.” 

“Keep your voice down.” You hissed. Rooster shot a pointed look at you and you caved, grabbing him by the arm and yanking him towards a more secluded area of the backyard. “You wanna talk? Fine. Talk.” 

“You said the baby was mine. That’s not just something I can forget, Y/N.” 

“And I’m not asking you to forget, I’m asking you to leave it alone for now. It’s my dad’s birthday, Bradshaw. Can’t we just let him have the day before we blow up his entire world?” 

“Okay. Yeah, that’s fine. Dropping it for now.” Rooster conceded, holding his hands up in surrender. In reality, all he wanted to do was figure things out, but he could admit that this wasn’t quite the best place nor time to do it. “What can I do to help you right now?” 

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” 

“Whoa, hey, I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to stress you out any more, I just—” 

“No, Rooster, I’m—” You felt the bile rising in your throat alarmingly quick, and before you could even your sentence, you scrambled for the nearest bush to throw up. 

“Oh shit!” Rooster lunged forward, gathering your hair out of your face back towards the nape of your neck as you let it all out. You felt the warmth of his hand on your back, rubbing smooth circles along your spine. 

“Fuck.” You groaned, bracing your hands on your knees. “Please tell me no one saw that.” 

“Uh…” Rooster’s voice was hesitant and you turned your head, only to be met with the one person you didn’t want seeing you like this. Just your luck that even up there in age, that Navy instilled situational awareness never faded. 

“Honey? You alright?” Your dad looked beyond worried, and before you knew it, you were sat down on the living room couch with your father fussing over you, fluffing your pillows, covering you with a blanket, the works. Rooster was hovering over in the corner. 

“Dad, I’m fine! I probably had some bad oysters or something at girls’ night yesterday.” You sighed, ducking away from his attempt at feeling your forehead. As much as you didn’t enjoy lying straight to his face, telling him it was most likely a pregnancy symptom was definitely out of the question. “Go back, enjoy your party, please.”

“I should really stay, what if—” 

“I’m in good hands, Dad. Rooster’s got me covered.” 

“I’ll take the best care of her, Mav, don’t you worry.” 

“No doubt in my mind you will.” He clapped Rooster on the shoulder, giving him a sharp nod. He turned to you. “Drink something. Eat something. I’ll check back in later. Love you, sweetheart.” 

“Love you too, Dad.”

After waving everybody back to the festivities with assurances that you just needed to lay down for a bit and would be just fine, Rooster reappeared in the doorway a little while later, this time bearing gifts. 

“Crackers and ginger ale. Eat them, they’ll help.” He insisted, letting you take the plastic cup from him. “Stole them from the cooler and snack table. Who knew an old man’s birthday party would have just what I was looking for?” 

You managed a meager smile, but when you took a tiny sip of the soda, you found that it actually did help a bit. “How’d you know what I needed?” 

Rooster rubbed the back of his neck, pressing his lips together with a haphazard shrug. “My mom. When she got sick, they always seemed to help with the nausea. Made sure we were always stocked and ready for whenever she needed it.” 

“I wanna keep the baby, Rooster.” You blurted. Rooster nearly choked on his own saliva in surprise. 

“You—you do?” 

“And I want you to be there every step of the way.” You continued, fidgeting with the stray thread at the edge of your blanket. He took a seat next to you on the couch, rubbing his hands over his legs nervously. “Only if that’s what you want, though. I’m not trying to force your hand or baby trap or anything like that. It’s your choice, completely. But…I’d like it if our kid knew their father. In whatever capacity you’re comfortable with.” 

“So, like co-parents? Or…more?” Rooster said slowly, gauging your reaction with wide, almost nervous eyes. 

“I’m open to more.” You replied. Maybe you were reading too much into it, but he seemed to look very pleased with that. “I don’t know what this is gonna be like, for either of us, but I like to think we’ll get through it all. Together.”

He nodded, sliding his hand into yours and squeezing. “Together.”  What that together entailed, you weren’t all too sure. And although you were nervous as hell about what laid ahead, you were looking forward to finding out.

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[outro-jo]

when skz says “no”

pairing: skz member x reader

type: scenario

warnings: none

request: yes

notes: requests are open but pls read info before requesting! also this is a formal apology to the seungmin stans. it’s so short but it was the last one i wrote and my brain was fried 😭

masterlist | info

———————————

bang chan- this vacation was much needed and highly anticipated. chris definitely needed a break but you were anxious for entirely different reasons. the ring hidden in your pocket was the whole reason why. well, that and your plans were almost foiled at every turn. at tsa they had you show them the ring and chris almost saw. you thought you lost it in your luggage when you finally arrived. the fancy dinner you plan was almost rained out as well. all of that and chris himself almost ruined the proposal as well… with his own. he turned to look at the sunset and when he turned back, you were on one knee. before you could even ask, chris gasped and went, “No!” as your face was dropping, chris reached into his suit pocket and pulled out a ring of his own. “i’m was going to ask you.” he said with a giggle. you got up to your seat, scooting it close to him. reaching up behind his neck, you scratched at the hair line and brought his forehead to yours. “i guess we’re just perfect for each other.”

lee know- when thinking about minho and your lives together, you knew it was a forever thing from early on in your relationship. the two of you talked fondly about marriage and possibly raising a family if your life allowed for it. with you two being together for years now, you were staring to think it was time for you two to move to the next step. the beauty of your relationship is that you and minho were equals. there was never any question about it or hard work it make it so. it was just something that happened naturally and just who minho was. when it came to the proposal you knew it had to be something low key and intimate. a big fancy proposal with flowers and at a special location just wasn’t either of your style. you decided that a movie night with the cats was the perfect time and place to do it. all night you felt the jitters, minho even commented on it a few times when you thought you were alone to catch your breath. the perfect moment had finally arrived and in the middle of the film you got down on one knee and asked the question. minho gave no sort of expression on his face. he just looked down at you in his usual deadpanned manner and pat the couch cushion next to him. “no, come sit back down. this is the best part.” you hesitantly obeyed, closing the ring box and returning it to your pocket. there was no way you were enjoying the rest of the movie the way your mind swirled. “he really doesn’t wanna marry me?” “should i have done something else to make it more special?” “does he want to break up.” though you were sitting still and quiet, minho could feel the way your mind raced and rolled his eyes. not at you of course, but you were always the impulsive and impatient one in he relationship. he reeled you in the way you needed. if you had waited just a little longer… but seeing how that wasn’t going to happen once the credits rolled, minho got up with an exasperated sigh. he knew he had to do this now or it was gonna eat you up. you sat in silence while he went to the back bedroom and returned with a black object in his hand. minho looked adorably annoyed as he got on one knee, his eyelids lazily drooped over his eyes. “fine, marry me.” he opened the box in his had to reveal the most stunning engagement ring. you gasped, watching it sparkle in the dim lighting. “minho, are you sure?!” “yes, i’m sure but you ruined the surprise i had for next week, pabo.” you laughed and tried to hide the embarrassment on your cheeks behind your hands. “you’re my pabo and i wouldn’t have our life be any other way than you moving too fast because you’re excited then i have to come behind you and do it right.” he told you, his face relaxing into what one could only describe as fondness for you. you nodded as the tears started to flow and he pulled you into his arms, sitting you on his knee for hugs and kisses. after a few seconds minho pulled away and said, “ok, gimme my ring.”

changbin- your boyfriend was old fashioned, traditional. he liked things a certain way whereas you were totally unconventional. admittedly, he loved that about you. it pushed him out of his comfort zone and challenged his way of thinking. you brought out the best in him. though some things were just sacred to him. changbin always expected to be the one to propose to you when the time came, but it never did and you were getting tired of waiting. you took matters in your own hands. the plan was in motion, taking him out to dinner, then a quiet boat ride on the han river. just as binnie was distracted by the fireworks going off over head you, got down on one knee. “binnie, will you—“ “no!” he got down on one knee in front of you. “marry me!” “you don’t even have a ring!” you protested. “yes, i do! i’ve had it since i met you! it’s in my closet!” he shot back. “then why haven’t you asked me to marry you?” “because…” he paused for a moment. “i was too afraid you’d say no.” he spoke in a soft voice, almost embarrassed for thinking the way he did. “but you’re the one that said ‘no’ to me.” you teased him gently. “well… that doesn’t count. you ambushed me.” “it’s called a surprise!”

hyunjin- paris was one of hyunjin’s favorite cities. you never really understand the “city of love” thing until you went there with your love. all the lights and beautiful blossoms on the trees, the incredible food and shopping, it all was so much better experiencing it with the love of your life. you were so swept up in the feeling, you couldn’t help but want to make the most of your time here. before you knew it, you were walking out of a jewelry shop with a ring for your boyfriend but no plan whatsoever. you had resigned to let paris work her magic and the moment will come when it was supposed to. it was a beautiful afternoon with you and hyunjin walking hand in hand, his camera around his neck to take shots as you went. walking along the river, the sun was just setting and hyunjin had to stop you because you looked so beautiful. “wait, baby, the light is perfect right now!” he held the film camera up to his eye, squinting to look through the view finder. he took two shots of different poses and before he could realize what was going on, you got down on your knee. the flash went off but hyunjin froze, his hands slowly lowering to reveal his jaw agape as he stared at you. “will you marry me, hyunjinnie?” you opened the box to reveal the ring. “no…” it was so faint, you weren’t sure you heard it right. “what?” you asked. hyunjin suddenly snapped back into reality, the weight of what he said hitting him. “no! no, i mean, no!” as if the word wasn’t already echoing in your head, hyunjin kept repeating it as he fumbled. “i can take a hint, babe.” you scoffed bitterly and went to stand. “wait, no! i— uggghh” he was growing more frustrated with himself. letting the camera fall, held by the strap around his neck, he dug into his pocket. “i mean, ‘no’ as in, ‘there’s no way i found someone so incredibly perfect for me’.” hyunjin held the ring out to you, beaming. your face lit up before you jumped up, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing all over his face repeating “yes” over and over.

han- competitive. that’s one word everyone would use to describe your relationship with jisung. not in a bad way. it was very playful and usually lighthearted. the two of you joked about who would end up proposing first and mock fighting it was gonna be you while he insisted it would be him. this also resulted in a proposal from him that you just rolled your eyes at because you knew he was just doing it for the bit. when you finally decided enough was enough and you had to marry him, you put a lot of thought into how you would propose to him. the perfect day was planned and it was jisung to a t. by the time you were about to drop to a knee, jisung was completely oblivious but panicked the minute he turned and saw you. “NO! NO!” he fussed, dropping to his knee. “i was gonna ask you first.” “too bad.” you gave him a shit eating grin. “i won. now you have to marry me.” jisung couldn’t help but laugh at you. “fine, ok, but i also won and you’re my prize.”

felix- dating felix was nothing short of magical. even the harder times when you two were apart or struggling to communicate, you always felt this overwhelming love for him. it gave you hope in those times that it would always work out. your and felix’s relationship was unique in that neither of you fell into specific gender roles. felix always prefers to keep gender stereotype out of quite literally everything. it felt completely right with him. which is why it felt totally natural buying an engagement ring, especially so early on in your relationship. the saying, “you just know” couldn’t have been more true and you finally understood when you met felix. the ring lived in your sock drawer, lying in wait for the right time, which you knew was probably some time in the future. the universe had other plans. the ring stayed perfectly hidden for a year or so until felix had decided to take the relationship to the next step: moving in together. he very sweetly offered to help you pack and quite honestly, the ring had been in there so long that you often forgot about it. it wasn’t until felix was in the drawer and you walked in and heard, “oh, no…” that you froze. you panicked, “felix, baby, i can explain!” you didn’t have to, felix was already on his knee in front of you, holding your own ring towards you. he was teary eyed and grinning ear to ear. “i dunno why i didn’t think about this sooner. i guess you’re always one step ahead of me. you’ve always been smarter than me.” he chuckled. “but i want this. i want you. i promise i’ll get you a ring, too. just please… marry me.” silence hung in the air as he finished his proposal. you hesitated, “lix… is it too soon?” felix quickly stood, shaking his head as he took you in his arms. “of course not! i want forever to start as soon as possible with you. i love you so much!” he emphasized the last sentence. “then i guess it’s a yes.”

seungmin- seungmin was very particular about literally everything and it was your job as his partner to mess that up a bit, bring him out of his comfort zone. he had a love/hate relationship with your ‘job’. seungmin needed the house cold, you turned up the heat. seungmin folded his clothes a certain way, you found a better way to fold them. seungmin wanted an apartment out of the city, you found a block away from the dorms. every single idea or thought was challenged by you. so when you proposed to him and he said no, it didn’t faze you one bit. you still loved him just as much as you did before. it was only two weeks later when seungmin proposed to you over dinner, in his own way. sometimes you gotta let him win some.

i.n- in his defense, you shouldn’t have asked while he was in a game with felix. he just looked so beautiful. freshly showered, no makeup, his skin glowing after his skincare routine. jeongin was so stunning that in that moment, you couldn’t help but ask. “will you marry me?” the words just fell from your lips effortlessly. your boyfriend tucked a headphone behind his ear, half glancing down at you as he said, “what? oh, no thanks, baby,” before returning to his game.  you weren’t really serious but to hear ‘no’ still stung. having taken all your bruised ego can handle, you went back to your shared bedroom to nurse your wounds. it’s not like you and jeongin have been together for a few weeks or even months. it’s been years by now, but you both are still young and he has stay and stray kids to worry about. i guess it wasn’t good timing anyways. but you couldn’t help but wonder if he ever wanted to get married. the worry plagued your mind for weeks after and you felt yourself growing more distant. it wasn’t intentional but the small incident couldn’t help but have you insecure in yourself and your relationship. jeongin on the other hand didn’t really notice as his mind was a little preoccupied. he had a comeback and tour in the works and there was something he decided that he needed to do before he left. on the night before he left, he took you out to dinner at you favorite fancy restaurant. this was the restaurant where you spent birthdays and anniversaries. the restaurant where your parents met for the first time. this was a special place but you hardly paid attention. for the first time, jeongin could see the space between the two of you in the glossy look in your eyes. they stared at the utensil you fidgeted with in your hands. the fear of not asking you far outweighed you possibility of you saying no so he finally had to ask. rather than getting down on one knee (which you both had prior agreed was a weird tradition), he slid the little black box to you across the table. you rolled your eyes playfully and took it. “you didn’t have to get me anything.” you teased him. all the air in your lungs dissipated when you saw the ring glittering back at you. “jeong— wha—?” your words failed you. your boyfriend couldn’t hold back the biggest smile, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. “i couldn’t go on tour without knowing i’d come back and you’d still be mine. i know i’ve done it before but i just need you so badly. i wanna spend forever with you. will you spend it with me?” needless to say, the two of you now had a funny proposal story to tell your family now.

taglist: @ujejdjd

[thewertsearch]

TT: You mentioned immortality. TT: Godhood makes one immortal? […] One will live forever, unless killed. The death must be either heroic or just. TT: How are those terms defined? Broadly, mysteriously, and according to the case of the individual. One may be killed by opposing a corrupt adversary and die for a just cause, as through martyrdom, for instance. This would be heroic. Or one may be subject to corruption, and slain by a hero. This would be just.

Heroic Players can die fighting 'corrupt adversaries', whereas Just Players can be 'corrupted', and 'slain by a hero'. There's a clear dichotomy here, wherein 'corrupt' God Tiers are particularly vulnerable to self-sacrificing God Tiers, and vice-versa.

I like it. It's a very mythological way for immortality to work, and it gels well with Sburb's fantasy narrative. Rose's alliance with the Horrorterrors probably marks her as corrupted, so God Tier ascension probably wouldn't grant her true immortality.

The concept is fascinatingly ambiguous, too. Morality is a controversial subject at the best of times, and allowing Sburb to judge the ethics of a Player's actions could get very tricky, very fast. There's no doubt in my mind that Sburb and I disagree vehemently about what constitutes a just cause, and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

TT: Which sort of death will you have when I destroy the sun? Neither. I'm not a god. I'm a guardian, a servant, and a weapon. I have power and knowledge far surpassing a god. But I am not one.

First Guardians are considered far more powerful than God Tiers, then. Aradia was able to get the drop on Jack, but Jack's really just a Kernelsprite imitation of a First Guardian. Scratch is far more threatening, especially since his brain isn't scrambled by dog memories.

...that said, his brain might be a little scrambled by whatever was in that HONK code. Who knows what Alt-Gamzee was cooking there.

My master can't enter this universe until I am killed. […] TT: That almost sounds like martyrdom. Are you sure it won't be a hero's death? Quite sure. My master is a very evil man. TT: Who is he? I won't tell you his name. But he goes by the title, Lord English.

About bloody time. This guy’s been sneaking around the back of the story for over two thousand pages, and it sounds like we're finally going to shed some light on this mysterious adversary.

But you must decide which objective is more important. You may decide to attempt to destroy the sun and end my life. This will neutralize Jack, who is also much more powerful and dangerous than myself by virtue of the ring he wears in addition to drawing energy from the same sun as I. He poses a significant threat to reality.

I'm still skeptical about this assertion. What could Jack's other kernels possibly offer that his First Guardian powers don't render obsolete?

Anyway - even if Jack does have better numbers, Scratch is still far more dangerous by virtue of the mind he wields.

TT: But in the process of killing him and you, I release your master, who is just as deadly? He's more deadly. But the danger he poses is sanctioned by paradox space. It is a known quantity. His very existence in a universe will mean it will inevitably be torn apart. But there are rules to his entry, and his grim procession through paradox space is rather orderly. The present equilibrium has accounted for him, and will continue to.

I did wonder if English was part of Paradox Space's natural ecosystem, charged with destroying old universes in much the same way Sburb destroys planets.

Even if he is part of Skaia's ineffable plan, I don't think that should stop us from ending his sorry ass. We might not understand English's motivations, but we do know that his plans destroy anyone unfortunate enough share his plane of reality, and countless lives have already been ruined in Scratch’s quest to bring him out. I don't really care if Paradox Space sanctions his actions - he needs to be taken down, and if that upsets the natural order, then it's time for a new natural order.

Besides, we probably don't even need to destroy the Sun to stop Jack. We have plenty of other angles to work, from exploiting his psychological weaknesses to negotiating with his slightly more reasonable deputy. Additionally, Jadesprite won't be out of action forever, and Jack can't even harm Jadesprite, due to the aforementioned psychological weaknesses. Even if she's inherited Bec's 'don't fight Agents' programing, that doesn't stop her from simply stealing his Ring. She's done it before.

Jack however is a loose cannon. He will not stop until he destroys everything he encounters.

Yeah - to be honest, Scratch, I'm starting to think you're laying it on a little thick, here. Is Jack really the omniversal 'threat to reality' that you're making him out to be?

Let's not get it twisted - I have no trouble believing that he's dangerous to individual sessions. But does he really have the juice to wreak cosmic destruction on the scale of Lord English? His battery is only as strong as a couple of universes, and he has to share it with every other First Guardian in the cosmos.

Plus, the kids can't be the only Players in the multiverse to accidently prototype a First Guardian. I'm sure it's rare, but it can't be once-in-all-the-worlds rare. There should be plenty of other rogue First Guardians floating around Paradox Space - and if they're all enormous threats to reality, then reality should already have been destroyed.

In conclusion: No, Doc. I don't think Jack Noir is an English-tier threat. And for the record, I think there's a much more dangerous First Guardian in this equation than the Sovereign Slayer.

[you-call-it-a-dude]

I Love You, It's Ruining My Life

Pairings: Regina George x Female Reader (technically, kinda?), Regina George x Aaron Samuels (for the plot), female reader x random female character (for the plot also)

Summary: You and your wife move into your dream house. Unexpectedly, your new neighbor just happens to be your ex (P.S: your wife doesn't know she's your ex)

Warnings: idk? Aaron Samuels? lol. Pregnancy. tension? Probably things considered infidelity

Author's Note: besties, I'm not quite sure what this one is lol. Was just an idea swirling around my brain that I felt I needed to write. I know everyone wants another Call It What You Want chapter. I am def working on it. I just feel stuck and feel like writing other things will get me back into it. I do not plan to write a part two for this one BUT idk if yall decide you want to cheat on your wife I might consider another chapter lol but if the consensus is to stay faithful imma stick with one lol.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading. Also, happy pride monthhhhh ily

-----

"Hi there, neighbor!"

You look up to see the source of the voice. A man around your age most likely. He was leaning over the fence, his eyes squinting from the sun.

You stood up from where you were planting flowers, pulling off your gardening gloves and tossing them to the ground.

"Hello!" You approached him at your fence, extending your hand out to shake his hand. "I'm Y/F/N Y/L/N. My wife and I moved in a few weeks ago. Someone down the street said you and your wife were taking a vacation. We were wondering when you would turn up." You say with a smile, resting your hand on the fence.

"Aaron Samuels." He smiles. "Yeah, I try to take a few trips throughout the year. Keeps my wife from getting too, well, you know. ." He jokes, but the way he rolled his eyes made the comment seem very...icky.

"Oh, totally. Staying in one place and working all the time is exhausting. I hope you both had a great trip." You say politely.

"Yeah, well..." he looks down and shakes his head. "Planting some flowers for the summer?" He asks, nodding to trays of various flowers lying around the immediate area.

"Trying to." You scratch your head. "It's our first time owning a house and doing this type of thing. We are definitely winging it." You use your head to point in the general direction of your wife. She was watering flowers on the other end of the yard with her back to you and her hand on her hip, her ear buds in her ear.

Alice was short with long blonde hair. She had a round face and a laugh like nothing you've ever heard of and you mean that in the best way possible. She is an extrovert, always knows what to say to who or how to get a conversation going.

Introductions weren't the most important thing right now; letting her enjoy gardening in her first owned home took precedence in your book, so you left her be.

You were certain she would strike up a conversation with him at some point in the near future anyway.

"Well, I've got quite the green thumb." He admits with an awkward laugh and you can tell by his face he regretted his wording. "I enjoy to garden." He says more seriously as if he was correcting his previous statement that you didn't even find embarrassing. Just...silly. In a nice way though.

"Well, if you consider yourself some sort of an expert, I'll take any information you know about growing vegetables." He lights up when you ask him for advice.

"I've got a really great soil that I use. I have so many bags of it. I'll run to my shed and grab them for you. I've already used what I needed and bought way too much." He explains with a small laugh.

"Aaron!"

Before you could respond, a voice from inside called to him, tapping on a window but the sun in your face made you unable to pinpoint where.

"Duty calls." He says unpleasantly and you scrunch your nose up at him when he turns around because you didn't like that response. "Next time I catch you out here, I'm bringing that dirt over!" He turns to point at you while walking backwards.

"Thanks so much! I appreciate it." You awkwardly give him a thumbs up and when he turns around to run inside, you scratch your eyebrow with your thumb. Overall you were just unsure how you felt about that interaction.

You turn around and decide to go bother your wife. She still has her headphones in, obviously still unaware of what happened around her.

You wrap your arms around her waist and she startles, the hose jumping with her and spraying the side of the house. You laugh and pull one of her ear buds out and kiss her ear.

"Hello, my gorgeous wife." You compliment and she leans into you, continuing to water the grass.

"Hi, my gorgeous wife." She repeats back. "How's it going over there?"

"Good. I met our neighbor. Or well the husband. Aaron."

"I met the wife earlier today when I was coming back from Home Depot. She was out running. While pregnant if I may also draw attention to because that's just insane to me. Anyway, I introduced myself. She was really nice." She says with a shrug.

"No name?" You tease, trying to see if you caught wife's social skills lacking.

"Do you even know me?" She looks up at you fake offended, a smile teasing her lips. "Her name is Gina." She says proudly.

"I'm not too sure how I feel about Aaron. He was nice, I guess. I don't know." You say, not really sure how to describe the icky feeling he gave off when he was perfectly pleasant.

"I think we should invite them over. Be nice, friendly neighbors. I want to be friends with our neighbors." She looks up at you with a small pout and you would never dream of doing anything that would make that pout stay.

"Sure, baby. Anything you want." You smile, kissing her cheek. "I'm gonna run inside and get us some water. I'll be back."

---

The following Wednesday, Alice tasked you with going over to your neighbor's house to see if they would come to dinner at your house this weekend.

Although Alice would have loved, and you would have preferred it, to be the one to invite them, she works until 7pm most week days and she was strategic with wanting to give them just enough notice to either accept or decline. So, since you are usually home by 5pm most nights, you walked over there with her little list of questions and a pen in case they said yes.

You hated approaching people like this. You were definitely less social than your wife.

You rang the doorbell and waited patiently for a moment. You shrugged after a long pause and began to turn away, but you heard the door open behind you."

"Can I help you?"

You paused for a moment, your feet scuffing against the cement and the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. You swallowed before turning around.

She was the last person you ever thought you would see again and here she is in front of you.

You hated that the first thought in your head was that she looked beautiful. Your eyes darted to her small pregnant belly and you could feel a pang of jealousy, a knot in your stomach.

She looked just as surprised to see you. Her eyes widened as she took a step back, her hand falling to her stomach, almost as if she was embarrassed you caught her this way.

Regina George. Your toxic relationship/situationship that lasted probably around five years on and off until you couldn't do it anymore. Things officially ended between the two of you about four years ago.

You couldn't take the arguing, the lies, the cheating, the blatant denial of your relationship and her sexuality.

You weren't a priority to her. You were someone she went to after her boyfriends couldn't satisfy her. You were someone she called when she was drunk so she could confess how in love she was with you because she just couldn't bring herself to say it and mean it when she was sober.

The last time you saw her was a big argument between the two of you. She had come over to your place after a date with some guy. She called him a boring loser, said he was nothing compared to you and then pushed you against the wall and kissed you hard.

You had asked her 'if he was nothing compared to me, why am I not good enough then?" You remember the question vividly because you thought about the wording while she kissed you. Her tongue thrusting into your mouth and she pulled away to look at you confused before you asked it because you weren't returning her kiss with the same amount of eagerness she was used to.

Her face softened for the briefest moment before she narrowed her eyes at you, listing off all of the reasons why you weren't good enough. She had a smile on her face afterwards, like she was challenging you to do or say something because you hadn't defended yourself in the past so she certainly wasn't expecting it to happen then either.

When she leaned in to kiss you again you dodged it, telling her to leave and that you were done.

You had never seen her look so...devastated. Her face dropped and she apologized repeatedly. She held your face in her hands while she peppered kisses across your face, but you were done. You felt disgusted with yourself, disgusted with her.

The both of you cried and argued for another two hours before she finally relented and left.

Twenty minutes after she was gone, your doubts crept in and you went to call her. To tell her to come back. That you were willing to degrade yourself to the point where you would be her secret side piece if it meant you had anything with her.

Except by the time you went to call her, she had already blocked your number. Blocked you on everything, actually.

And now you were standing at her doorstep, both of you looking like you've seen a fucking ghost.

"Hi." You finally speak after a few seconds, clearing your throat. Your eyes dart to Aaron sitting in the dining room behind her. "My wife wanted to know if you and Aaron would be available this Saturday for dinner at our house." You look anywhere but her, keeping the conversation strictly neighborly.

"I, we-" she starts, but Aaron realized you were here and stood up from where he was posted up.

"Is that our neighbor?!" He says in a tone of voice that just screams 'white dad'. "What brings you by?" He reaches out to shake your hand again and Regina just rolls her eyes.

"My wife wanted me to invite you two for dinner. This Saturday if you're available." You say, yours eyes squinting slightly from the sun setting behind their house.

"Yeah! We will definitely be free for that." Aaron agrees and Regina just nods.

"Great! I have a list of questions I was instructed to ask now." You chuckle lightly and pull the list and pen from your pocket. You look up and see Regina crack a small smile and it makes you fumble the pen when you try to take the cap off. "Okay, any allergies?"

"No allergies." Regina says and hearing her voice again makes your heart race.

"Is chicken fine?" You read the next question off the list, squinting at the little note Alice left. "She is hesitant to do steak because she doesn't want to have to serve-" you pause briefly. "to serve Gina a well done steak."

Calling her Gina felt weird. So fucking weird. She used to tell you she hated it when people called her that.

"Chicken is good." She says, but Aaron sucks his teeth in a silent annoyance. "Or not."

"No we can do chicken." He says, his tone of voice very different than before and you almost feel like you're intruding.

"I'm sure Alice will be happy to make you a steak, Aaron." You smile, trying to diffuse this added layer of awkwardness to an already awkward situation.

But he was also kind of pissing you off, too.

"I don't know why you have to make things so fucking complicated." Regina starts.

"It's okay, really." You look at her and say calmly, swallowing the urge to reach out and touch her. She stares at you for a moment and nods. You look down to your question sheet quickly, not wanting to stare at her too long. "What do you like to drink? We will get whatever you want. Juice, beer, sparkling water. Literally anything."

"Oooh," Aaron rubs his hands together "can I have Bud Light?"

"Mhmm!" You nod. "And you, R-Gina." You correct yourself quickly, shaking your head.

"I'm okay with water, thank you though. Can we bring anything? A side? Dessert? I don't want to show up empty handed."

"I will have to run that one by Alice." You smile politely, knowing damn well the little paper she handed you explicitly says not to let them bring anything.

"I can just ask her myself." Regina says confidently, taking the sheet of paper and pen from your hand. Your hands touched when she snatched the pen from you and you can feel yourself holding your breath. She flips the paper over and writes her number on the back before handing it back to you. "Just have her call me tonight or tomorrow whenever she gets a chance." She gives you a small smile.

You take the paper and nod, looking down to see her number hasn't changed. You folded the paper and shoved it into your pocket, repeating her phone number in her head just to prove to yourself that you still could.

"Cool, I will have her do that." You say awkwardly, feeling stupid for even going over there because Alice is still gonna end up being the one to coordinate things with Regina, sorry Gina, anyway. "Have a goodnight."

You give them an awkward wave and when you turn around to walk through the path in their front yard, you can hear them begin to bicker behind you.

Alice gets home around 7:30pm that night. She wraps her arms around you while you plate the dinner you made. She smelled like a dental office and she gave you a sticker from your favorite Pixar movie, most likely having pulled it from the bin of stickers they have for their pediatric clients.

She went to change her clothes and freshen up, coming down about ten minutes later to dinner being plated and ready to eat.

She sat down next to you and the two of you talked about your days briefly before she finally asked you if you completed the objective you were tasked with.

"Well, partially." You say, taking a sip of your water. "I went over there and was going through my little list, but Regina said she wanted to bring something and I wasn't going to tell a pregnant lady no. So I got her number and you can call her." Alice laughs and throws her head back, clapping her hand once.

"You're such a chicken. Also, Gina, babe. Not Regina." She laughs again. "Better get that down before we see them again so you're not calling her by the wrong name." She teases you.

You smack your palm to your forehead and chuckle awkwardly, your heart racing over your slip up.

"Gina, right!" You correct yourself. "Here is her number though." You pull the piece of paper from your pocket and slide it over. "Aaron was being a little bitch about having chicken."

"I'll just make him a steak then." She says casually, looking over the piece of paper with her eyebrows furrowed. "It's no big deal."

"That's what told them also." You nod and take a bite of your food.

Alice looks up, squinting to try to see the time on the microwave.

"I'm gonna give her a call now before it gets too late." She says, picking her phone up from the table and dialing the number. She held the phone to her ear, looking like she was ready to give up after a few rings. "Hi, Gina? Hey! It's Alice. How are you doing?"

You looked down at your plate, moving your food around while you tried to listen to the conversation. You could faintly hear her voice. Hear her talking about how you stopped by.

You tried to not make it so obvious that you were listening.

You also tried not to make it so obvious that you were disappointed when Alice grabbed her little notepad and walked out of the room to finish the call.

---

You've been out in the yard since like ten this morning cleaning the grill, setting up coolers, and doing everything around the house that Alice asked of you while she prepped everything for when 'Gina' and Aaron came over.

You've ran to the grocery store you don't even know how many times now to fetch any last minute ingredients or items that Alice forgot. All the back and forth setting you behind on your own tasks you needed to do.

Around 3pm Alice brought out multiple trays of various items for you to grill. Chicken, Aaron's steak, potatoes wrapped in foil, asparagus, bacon wrapped and cheese stuffed peppers. Like she went all out.

You were placing the second round of chicken on the grill when Alice disappeared and reappeared a few minutes later with Regina and Aaron behind her.

Everyone greeted you excitedly and you did the same, smile and waving at them both with the tongs in your hand. Alice got them each a drink and her and Aaron got to talking about the garden.

She led him over to your guys' tragic attempt of a garden and the two of them talked each other's ears off about.

Regina only stayed in that conversation for a few minutes. From the corner of your vision you can see her making her way to you, stopping to set her drink on the table.

You looked forward, anxiety rising in your chest each step she took until she was standing right next to you, your elbow brushing the material of her dress.

"Hi neighbor." She says in a tone that feels borderline mocking.

"Hi, Gina." You say, returning that same mocking tone and refusing to look at her.

She turns her head to look back at both of your spouses before looking to you again, her fingertips grazing your arm to get your attention.

"I wanna talk to you later, when you have a moment."

"There's nothing to talk about." You say firmly. "How does Aaron like his steak?"

"I don't fucking care how he likes his stupid fucking steak." She says annoyed, her fingertips still against your arm. Her other hand coming up to press her palm against her forehead and sigh, fanning herself off.

You can't bring yourself to move away from her touch.

"It's too hot for you over here." You say, finally turning to look at her. "Go sit down. The food will be done soon."

"I don't want to fucking sit down." She says through gritted teeth. "I'm tired of being treated like I'm delicate or breakable. I'm fucking fine."

"Fine, you're fucking fine." You say, turning back to continue grilling. Regina goes from grazing your arm lightly to gripping it tightly, her nails digging into your arm now. You flip the meat and the veggies, closing the grill. "Let's go. You obviously don't feel good." You to turn her and grab her arm carefully.

"I never feel good anymore. I fucking hate it." She said, her voice cracking the tiniest bit as she let you lead her over to the table.

You pull out a chair for her and when you notice that Aaron and Alice are too engrossed in their conversation to pay attention to Regina right now, you sigh and pull out the chair next to her for yourself.

"Do you need anything? Here, eat something." You grab the bowl of chips and place them in front of her, along with the various dips Alice made. She thanks you and nods, taking a chip and dipping it in the spinach and artichoke dip.

"So, how long have you and Alice been together." She asks before popping a second chip in her mouth and humming at the taste.

"Don't start." You ask, shaking your head.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She says innocently. "I'm just being neighborly." She scrunches her nose at you.

"No, you're being nosy." You scrunch your nose back at her and stand up. "I'll be back."

You make your way back to the grill. Things are just about finished up and you begin to try to pull apart those little tin containers from the dollar store to put everything in, muttering and swearing under your breath when you couldn't get them pried apart.

You look up to ask Alice for help but she disappeared with Aaron. You look around the yard confused, still trying to pry the fucking trays apart.

"They went to go look at the front yard." Regina says, coming up behind you and taking the trays from you. She digs one of her long nails between them and pulls them apart easily. She sets one down on the platform of the grill and holds the other ones for you.

"You know, she organized this fucking thing and then ditched me." You say annoyed, putting the meat into the pan first and covering it with foil. You turn the pan to the side to make room for Regina to set down one of the smaller pans, which she does.

You take out the potatoes from the grill next. Swearing every time one slips between the tongs, which was frequently.

"Babe, why didn't you tell me you were done?" Alice says, coming through side gate and setting her beer on a small table in the yard. She rushes over to you both, nodding her head at Regina to thank her while she takes the empty pan from her hand and does some maneuvering.

Regina steps aside and you're disappointed by the loss of her presence.

"What was I supposed to do? Shout from over here?" You respond with a slight attitude, one of your eyes shut because of the smoke from the grill.

"Let's not do this right now, yeah?" She says calmly, taking the pan with the meat over to the table.

"Can I help with anything?" Regina asks from where she's standing and Alice asks if she can help her get everything set up on the table and she agrees.

You close the lid of the grill once everything is out and you wipe the sweat from your head. You stare and the two small tray of veggie sides in front of you, trying to figure out how you're going to bring them both over to the table. You looked behind you to see if anyone was free to help. Regina and Alice looked busy and Aaron was glued to his phone, titling it up toward his chest any time Regina was close.

You watched Alice and Regina get the table set up. Lay out the plates and silverware, bring out the cold sides.

You had to turn around when you realized you were paying more attention to Regina than to Alice.

You covered both of the small trays in foil and stacked them one on top of the other, carefully making your way over to set them on the table. Regina took the trays from you, her fingertips brushing against your sticky, sweaty, skin for probably the tenth time today.

"I'll be back." You say abruptly, turning around to dart inside.

Your eyes were burning, were hot from the grill, and probably feeling added heat from Regina as well. You just needed a second.

You go into the kitchen, grabbing yourself a glass of ice water and chugging about half of it, breathing heavily afterward like a fucking toddler. You turned to the sink, wetting a paper towel and wiping off your eyes then your face.

You could hear footsteps, but your face was too buried in that cool towel to care right now.

"Where do you keep your big spoons?" Regina asks.

You feel around your kitchen blindly, running your hands over the counter until you found the drawer on the left where you kept your serving spoons.

"In here." You tap the drawer and step aside, pulling the towel from your face.

"You okay?" She asks, making her way to the drawer and looking over at you.

"My eyes just burn." You blink hard a couple of times and wipe them again. She leans in closer and you hold your breath when her thumb lands on your cheek bone and tugs down slightly.

"They look really red." She says softly, her gaze visibly bouncing between your eyes and your lips.

"The smoke." Was all you managed to get out before clearing your throat and forcing yourself to step away. "So how far along are you?" You ask to change the subject and it seems to work. She snaps out of her little daze and turns to get the spoons from the drawer.

"20 weeks this past Tuesday." She says, pulling out the spoons.

"Just about halfway then." You lean against the counter of the sink. "Do you know what you're having?"

"A girl." She has her back to you, but you can hear that she's smiling and it makes you smile in return.

"That's really exciting."

"Aaron doesn't think so." She turns around with a small frown and a few big spoons in her hand. "He wanted a boy."

"Who fucking cares what he wanted." You roll your eyes, finding it ridiculous that someone could be unhappy about having a daughter.

"She moves around a lot. Do you want to feel?" She asks excitedly and you don't want to tell her no, but you should.

"Regina I-" She doesn't really give you an option because she grabs your wrist a tugs you forward, placing your hand on her belly. "I don't feel any- oh wait!" You say excitedly when you feel something push against your hand. "That's crazy." You say to yourself quietly.

You stay this way for a few moments. Your thumb moving back and forth over her belly, her hand resting over yours. Neither of you wanting to be the one to acknowledge that she isn't kicking anymore because neither of you wanted to move.

"I think you put her to sleep." Regina whispered and when you looked at her you knew you needed to step back. You knew you needed to pull away because she was looking at you like she wanted to kiss you and your wife was just outside.

You could hear her laughing at whatever stupid shit Aaron said.

"We should probably get back outside." You whisper, your thumb still rubbing over her bump. She squeezed your wrist, almost like she didn't want you to let go.

"Okay." She says calmly, but neither of you move.

Not until the back door slams and you hear Alice laughing and talking loudly, wondering where the two of you went.

You quickly placed the towel back over your eye and Regina quickly opened and closed the drawer as if she just got done looking through it, the two of you well versed in the art of recovering before you got caught.

"Everything okay in here? Baby, what happened?" She rushes over to you, pulling the almost dry towel from your face.

"My eye just wouldn't stop watering and burning." You say, wiping them off once more and tossing the towel in the trash. "I couldn't see so I couldn't even help Gina find the spoons. I kept leading her astray." You chuckle at your own lie.

"It was a mess, but we managed somehow." She lets out a fake laugh and holds up the spoons. "I'm sorry for taking so long."

"Oh gosh, you're too sweet. Don't apologize." She puts her hand on Regina's shoulder and starts to usher her outside, you following behind them.

Dinner was nice. You learned a lot about Regina and Aaron as a couple and they learned about the two of you in return.

You were surprised to find out that Aaron was the loser Regina had gone on a date with the night the two of you ended things.

Though that was an observation you had to keep to yourself, you could see Regina shift uncomfortably in her seat when she realized you put two and two together.

You learned that they only moved into this house about a year ago and have been married for almost three years now as opposed to you and Alice who have only been married a year and a half.

They talked a little bit about the baby, how they were preparing for her, that they are trying to go on trips and such before she gets here. You could practically feel the disappointment radiating off of Aaron.

The way Alice nudged your foot under the table made you think she felt it to and you knew you would definitely be discussing it later.

Alice told them both just about everything about the two of you. Where you met and how, how long you dated before getting married. All the details you tried to avoid giving Regina earlier Alice spewed out like it was nothing.

Regina's face hardened slightly when she realized that you met Alice at the tail end of your relationship with her. Clearly choosing to ignore the part that you two didn't actually start talking seriously until almost a year after the break up.

Clearly, Regina choosing to harp on irrelevant bits and pieces of a story is still something that hasn't changed.

You also found it interesting that although she consistently dated and slept with men during your time together that she would get upset that you merely met someone, exchanged information, then didn't speak again for almost a year and a half.

You excused yourself from the conversation and Regina's dirty looks to bring out dessert.

You opened the fridge to see a coconut cake that you know Alice didn't make. You raised your eyebrows in a silent excitement because you knew that meant Regina brought it and you wonder if she brought it purposely because she knew it was your absolute favorite whenever she or her mom would make it.

You pull it from the fridge and grab the cake knife from the drawer, carefully walking out of the house with the cake.

"I really hope coconut cake is fine, Alice. You said you weren't picky on the phone and this cake is like a staple in my family." Regina says, her eyes finding yours immediately as you set the cake down.

"We love coconut in this house. The cake looks great and will be very much enjoyed, I assure you of that." Alice says with a slight laugh, taking the cake knife from your hand and going to work on handing out the slices.

She asked how big of a piece everyone wanted, you tried to wiggle your hand inconspicuously to let her know you wanted a bigger piece, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment when Alice called you out on it, saying she 'didn't know you enjoyed coconut THAT much' while also being accommodating and giving you a larger piece.

You grumbled when you took the piece from her, looking up to Regina who was biting back a smile, or maybe a smirk.

You took a bite of the cake, humming at the taste. Somehow it tasted even better. You weren't sure if Regina just perfected the recipe or it had just been so long since you had it. Maybe a combination of both.

When Alice asked about the recipe and where it came from, Regina started talking about her mom and where she got it from. You could hear the two of them talk, but you weren't listening anymore.

You were looking down at your cake, pushing it around your plate now. It tasted great, better than you remember even.

But that's the issue. You weren't tasting this cake for the first time. You were tasting this cake for the first time in years and every little scenario that could be associated with this cake was popping into your brain. Like every single bite was just something new to think of.

When you tried it for the first time when meeting Regina's family. When introduced you as her friend and you all played card games with her family until 1am. Regina had told you she didn't think she could ever have that much fun with her family.

The first time Regina tried to make the cake herself because she knew you liked it and she burned it so bad, but you still ate it because she was crying about having messed it up.

When she made it as your birthday cake one year and it came out absolutely perfect, but then the two of you got into an argument because she was going to go on a date instead of coming out with you and your friends. You had only one piece of it before she grabbed the cake with her bare hands and threw it to the floor of your apartment. When you burst into tears over your ruined cake, and other things, she kneeled on the floor and cried while she cleaned it up. Telling you in between sobs that she was sorry and she'd make you a new one.

You set your fork down and pushed the rest of your cake away. Everyone was in the middle of a conversation, so you really didn't think anyone would notice.

Except Regina fumbled over her words mid conversation as soon as you did it and when you looked up, you saw her eyes darting between you and Alice. She shook her head slightly and pushed her hair behind her ear, recovering her fumble smoothly.

You felt bad. You pulled the cake back toward you again and continued to eat it. Quickly realizing that although it tastes just as good as it used to, it would never taste the same.

---

Regina and Aaron left around 7pm. Regina helped Alice tidy up while you made them both plates of leftovers to bring home with them. Aaron sat on the couch and turned your tv on. Alice said he could, but you just didn't like that he actually did it.

You and Alice settled into bed early, both of you exhausted from all the things you had to do today. Though Alice finds that kind of stuff way more rewarding than you do.

Alice was already tucked into bed, her back toward you while she talked about how much fun she had today, how great Gina seemed, how useful it could be to have Aaron around, that she would love to hang out with them more.

Your responses were automatic. You were hearing her, but not really listening. All you could offer right now were some 'yeah', 'I agree', 'I'm glad, babe'. It's all you had in your right now.

You put on your pajamas and stood at your nightstand, taking off all the jewelry you had on today.

A sliver of light through the window caught your attention, both of you forgetting to close the shade before getting dressed. You made your way to the window, going in between the curtains to look for the little rope to close the shade.

You caught glimpse of Aaron walking around in his underwear and went to hurry to lower to shade, seeing way more of him than you ever would've care to.

But you paused when Regina walked into the room, both of them having some sort of heated discussion before Aaron waved her off and walked out of the room.

You knew you needed to close your blinds now. To give Regina privacy to change her clothes. Except you watched her move around her room instead. You watched her pick out her pajamas, pull her sheets back.

When she turned around and made eye contact with you through her own window, you felt like you had been caught. You looked away quickly, pretending the shade was stuck.

When you finished your fake fiddling with the shade, Regina was still staring at you. When she saw she had your attention again, she wasted no time pulling her shirt above her head.

She was naked from the waist up, giving you a view of her small pregnant belly and her breasts. You breath hitched in your throat and you gripped the string on the shade tightly, mentally scolding yourself because you know you needed to look away.

Instead you continued to watch her as she snuck her thumbs under the waistband of her shorts, ever so slightly beginning to pull them down.

"You coming, baby?" Alice says from the bed behind you.

You turn around quickly, yanking the string and shoving your way out of the thick curtains.

"Yes, I'm coming, babe!" You say, your heart racing for many reasons now. "I was just being nosy. There was a cop parked across the street. They just left." You lie, turning around to peak behind the now closed blinds again. Regina had closed her shades in your absence and you sighed in relief through your nose.

You rubbed your forehead with your fingertips and climbed into bed with your way, turning off the lights before you settled.

You laid on your back, Alice's feet tangled with yours. She fell asleep quickly. A trait you wish you possessed. Instead you lie awake, thinking about the whole incident at the window. About how you almost wish Alice didn't call for you. That her shade was still open and she was there waiting for you when you returned.

Alice snuggled closer to you, throwing an arm over your stomach and smushing her face into your shoulder. You rubbed her arm softly, your thoughts still plagued by Regina.

Is it too soon to be thinking about selling this house?

[wave2tyun]

make your heart stop | ☆

pairing: yeonjun x reader

genre: friends to lovers, fluff<3

prompts: - “are you jealous?”

- “you’re blushing”

- “stop looking at me like that”

warnings: mentions of alcohol

word count: 1.1k

a/n: comforting kitty anon THIS ONE actually goes out to you!!!!😼😼💖 i don't know if you had a chance to see my silly little mishap- i think my brain was just not working properly in the morning asbdhjab i was looking through my old docs trying to find something when the realisation hit and my face dropped.......😭😭

☆ = repost from my old blog!!

you don’t know how, or when, but late-night karaoke with the tubatu boys somehow became a regular friday thing. ordering unreasonably priced alcohol, sharing food, screaming your lungs out as you sang trot songs together- it was possibly the best activity to shake off all the stress accumulated throughout the week.

the owners already recognised you as regulars; every week, they would make sure to have at least one booth free for the six of you, catering to all your needs. it was heaven- and you could barely bring yourselves to leave.

this time though, you ended up parting ways quite early, the reason being beomgyu drinking one can of beer too much, falling down to his knees whenever he tried to take a step. he insisted on singing to you all one last song, despite stumbling over each and every word he said even in casual speech. soobin and taehyun were the ones to carry him out, shily apologising as they exited through the door. meanwhile, kai took videos of the drunken boy, the joy of teasing him in the morning already bubbling up in his chest. 

yeonjun, however, remained with you and walked you home. he ended up staying over at your place, as neither the singing nor the alcohol were enough to tire you out. turning on the tv, you decided to end the day by watching a movie together, hoping, that at some point, the two of you would doze off.

slumping onto the couch, you searched for the movie you agreed on as yeonjun took care of preparing the caramel popcorn. 

“taehyun killed it tonight” you exclaimed, eyes gleaming as you reminisced the earlier events “like seriously- his voice suits that song even better than the original singer. and that high note at the end? how are his vocal chords even able to do that?”

yeonjun stared at his reflection in the microwave, shifting his focus to the popping sound coming from it rather than your voice. he loved hearing you talk- but now? his left eye was twitching, and he didn’t get why.

a mixture of anger and something he couldn’t quite pinpoint was spreading throughout his chest, starting from the heart, then all the way down to his stomach, creating an almost nauseating feeling. was it jealousy? hm, no. he knew very well himself that his fellow members were great singers, their capabilities were definitely worth praising- he just wished that you’d have paid more attention to the way he, too, sang his heart out in that tiny karaoke room. okay- maybe yeonjun was, indeed, jealous. maybe, just slightly- actually more than slightly, he was quite very jealous. 

yeonjun seemed a bit out of it ever since he returned to the living room with the popcorn bowl, his lips were stuck in a pout even while talking or eating. at first, you didn’t give it much thought, assuming that the exhaustion was beginning to take its toll on him. 

15 minutes further into the movie, he still had that same absent-minded expression on his face, now combined with a frown. it was clear as day that his attention towards the plot had simply perished, eyes preferring to watch his own fingers fidget with the blanket on his lap. 

did you say something out of pocket? it was never your intention to make him feel bad in any way. you backtracked a little bit, thinking about your earlier conversation. you got to your apartment, picked a movie and snacks, then waited for the popcorn to be ready. did you talk about anything else during that time? hm- you scratched your head, trying to concentrate better. then, it was like a lightbulb had been turned on inside your head.

“are you jealous?” you said, almost shouting the question. (how discreet-) the realisation hit you like a truck, and you spoke without thinking. the chances of finding out the truth from him could be close to zero now.

“no” yeonjun was quick to give you the answer you expected. he jolted out of his seat, like a cat taken by surprise. for a second there, he actually wondered whether you were able to hear his thoughts, or whether he had been unknowingly speaking out loud this entire time. 

unconvinced, you continued to stare down at him. that ‘no’ was a pitch higher than his usual voice and it was only adding more to your suspicions “i’m not jealous-” he spoke again in that same tone “y/n, come on- stop looking at me like that” he whined, giving your shoulder a slight push as he sat back down on the couch.

“jun? you sure you’re not jealous?” you inched your face closer to his, yeonjun moving his head back at the same time. he was unaware of his surroundings, too focused on keeping some sort of distance. you cupped his cheeks to stop him from slipping away any further, afraid that, at some point, he would fall off the couch. his cheeks were squishy, and you pinched and stretched them like a kid playing with pizza dough. his constant yearning for your attention was becoming -somehow- fulfilled, and he didn't know how to handle it.

as his heart felt close to jumping out of his chest at any given moment, he placed his hands over yours, muttering a quiet “stop that” before breaking eye contact with you.

“you’re blushing” you chuckled, your fingertips brushed against his soft, reddened cheeks. yeonjun wasn’t one to easily get flustered. he wasn’t a great liar either- not in front of you, at least. 

“you were sitting too close to me- it was suffocating me” he attempted to defend himself.

“oh?” you tilted your head, as you reduced the gap between the two of you once again, a sly smile tugging at the corner of your lips “since when does me sitting close bother you?” his chest was beginning to raise up and down more rapidly underneath you. yeonjun gulped, the audible sound giving away his sheer nervousness. it didn’t bother him- he liked it. in fact, he was more bothered by the fact that he didn’t have the guts all night to just hold you in his arms.

your tongue darted out to wet your lips, taking away all of his focus. he couldn’t take it anymore- it was getting too much, too overwhelming: the scent of your perfume, the warm breath on his face, the rosy lips sitting just a few centimeters away from his. sighing, he gave in, his hand coming to the back of your neck as he closed the gap that kept on tormenting him. your eyelids fluttered shut, taking in the slow rhythm of his kiss, indulging in the way your lips felt against his.

and once he parted away, he admitted, completely out of breath: 

“okay. maybe i was a bit jealous”

taglist: @huekalover3000

[deadwasteland-dazaisfan]

ִ ࣪𖤐Teenage romance₊˚⊹ ᰔ

ᯓ★Synopsis: Being in a relationship with Dazai Osamu seemed like a huge problem to you, because his behavior often made you confused, and everything suggested that he would remain a silly guy who would remain alone for the rest of his days. But one day you had to realize that this wouldn't happen. Because he has you in his life.

ᯓ★Pairing: pm!dazai×fem!reader (both 16-18y.o);

ᯓ★Contains: fluff/comfort, hugs, kisses, hanging out together, teenage romance, nonsense, pm!reader, mention of murders, mention of criminal organizations drabble&headcanons, sfw, affection, mention suicide attempt;

| author's note: This is my first work, I hope you'll like it. Please don't judge too harshly I tried my best ૮₍˶Ó﹏Ò ⑅₎ა |

The whole situation was so strange and unexpected for you that you really didn't understand where you were and what you needed to do. When you woke up in a dimly lit room, you found yourself lying in a room that looked like an infirmary. There was practically nothing around. There were no sounds either, but they soon appeared. There was a door at the end of this room, as you assumed, there was a corridor behind it. It turned out to be true.

A couple of minutes after you woke up, the door opened a crack, and a guy came in — funny shaggy hair, dark eyes, bangs on half of his face and a bandage covering one eye. He was dressed quite formally—a white shirt (although slightly frayed and wrinkled), a black tie, black trousers and shoes. He had a black jacket slung over one arm, he looked rather rumpled and seemed tired. Sitting down on the bed, you looked at the boy with bewilderment and suspicion when he finally came up to you and scratched the back of his head. Yawning lazily, he said:

«Well, hi, silly suicidal. Mori-san asked me to give you something, but I don't think you need it right now. Congratulations! Oh, though... It would probably be more accurate for me to say that I'm sorry, though...Aaaahhh, okay, never mind. I'm Osamu Dazai, don't be surprised, you survived your failed attempt and Mori-san and I dragged you here. He wants to recruit you...So you'd better come to your senses as soon as possible and come to his office. He doesn't like to wait too long... In short, you have no choice. Come on, get up! Can you walk?»

He gave you a dubious squint that made your skin crawl, and then silently walked away. He pulled out a small old chair (which you didn't notice right away), sat down on it, and crossing one leg over the other, began to read a small red book. Still in a strange trance state, you didn't even understand how he was doing everything, it was hard for you to figure out where you were sitting at all. After a couple of minutes of silence in the room, you finally came to your senses a little — you noticed that the room was not so empty, you were sitting on a fairly soft bunk, somewhere above there was a small window through which white light entered the room.

After that, you had the next challenge — to talk to this unknown. He has already introduced himself, and you instantly remembered his name. But still, he didn't mention where you were or who he was at all... So, swallowing hard, you turned your head, but then froze when you found that he was already looking at you. With a sigh, the boy put the book on his lap and looked at the ceiling, muttering

«You're probably wondering where you are and all that... Well, you're in the infirmary of Yokohama's main criminal organization, the Port Mafia. Welcome. No, don't worry, we won't kill or torture you. The boss has slightly different plans for you. But still... You know, if I were you, I'd think twice about choosing this stupid, absolutely shitty way! I'm sorry, but do you even have a brain? To what extent does one have to be a stupid girl to use such a non-working method! And yes, you don't have to ask about all the details of your "rescue." I'll just say one thing — you looked lousy. Yes, however, nothing has changed now...»

Finally, he fell silent, continuing to stare at the ceiling for a while, and then turned his gaze to you. Maybe it was time for you to introduce yourself?...

«You said your boss wants to hire me... Why does he need this?... I... I'm probably grateful for the rescue, but... What does he want?...»

Dazai just raised one eyebrow and then looked away, continuing the dialogue:

«Well, obviously he saw something useful in you for the mafia. He will definitely find a job for you, especially since our staff is very small now. Well, according to him, he just couldn't leave such a poor thing to die»

You've got your head down. The answer was obvious, and why didn't it immediately occur to you? Then you should have introduced yourself properly. You made some kind of pathetic gurgling sound, after which you quietly whispered:

«My name is... My name is Y/N...»

The young mafia turned a curious look at you and got up from his seat. Putting his hands on his hips, he said:

«Yeah, so Y/N you said... Okay. Come on, let's go. The boss should see you before lunch»

You carefully shifted on your bunk, and then lowered your feet to the floor, still sitting. But the real problem for you was getting up — no matter how much you tried to lift yourself, nothing came out. Apparently, your body is very weak, and your legs are numb. You began to have a slight panic, tears began to come to your eyes, and you began to suffocate from them. But it didn't take you a second when Osamu came up to you and gently pulled on your arms, and you were finally on your feet. Exhaling, you were about to take the first step, but the guy stopped you with the words "Where are we going?" after that, he easily picked you up in his arms. It was so unexpected that you squeaked, but he shushed you and said in a dissatisfied tone:

«Hey, I actually don't want you to break all your legs or overwork yourself... Anyway, it's not profitable for the mafia to keep you here for a few days.»

you were more than ready to object, but for some reason your inner self told you to keep quiet. Apparently, this was not the right situation for outrage.

So, after some time, you finally got out of the Mafia boss's office. Dazai seems to have understood everything in the blink of an eye from your distorted face. You were accepted, and now you could consider him a "colleague." He somehow abruptly and very unexpectedly jumped up to you and smiled broadly, said:

«Well, now you are one of us!»

This was your first meeting.

❛━━━━━━━ ••• ━━━━━━━❜

And then everything went the way you couldn't have expected, but it's not that you didn't like it. Conversely.

You had to go through many situations and complete many missions together. He also introduced you to other members of the Port Mafia. You were received very cordially, and, frankly, it warmed your heart.

Osamu kept saying how unprepared you were to work in this organization, and that you shouldn't have been here at all, but he supposedly couldn't contradict Mori (Of course, he was a brazen liar— he was the one who begged so desperately to keep you in the mafia for his own good). In short, you got along, you became even more than just colleagues.

One of the situations that you remember the most was how you fooled around and played cards together. It was funny, even though you never managed to win. But you always laughed maliciously when the intense struggle between Odasaku and Dazai continued without your participation. You knew that Oda would always have a way to beat the youngster, so you weren't surprised by Sakunosuke's next victory.

Basically, you've always been a witness to the endless quarrels and swearing between Dazai and Nakahara. It all got to such an extent that you started to get a headache from their shouts of indignation (it's good if they used only speech, and did not get into a frenzied fight). In the end, you just got up and left, but both boys, catching themselves in time, immediately fell silent and quickly followed you, simultaneously apologizing for their antics (in fact, while you were silent, they continued to whisper insults). You didn't have much choice, you were a kind-hearted person, so you just couldn't get mad at them.

But even though they "hated" each other, they were ready to unite at any moment just for the sake of your safety. You were a valuable person to them, not only in terms of being a mafia member — everyone knew perfectly well that one day you would have to make a choice.

But you were like friends with Chuuya — it seems that even on his part there was no initiative to enter into a romantic relationship. You spent no less time together than with Dazai (which made him, by the way, jealous, but of course he would never admit it). So at some point Osamu realized that it was time to throw away the final card. Many of your memories from the mafia are quite clouded — it is clear that the job was not easy, and there was not much light and fun there. But you will always remember the moments spent with a bandaged mafia member.

Your belated winter walks, when it's already starting to get dark outside, and many teenagers your age are already running home, worried that something might happen to them or their parents will scold them. But of course you weren't like that, because you are a fearless mafia that can walk around whenever and wherever you want.

Although many called him a "Demon-Prodigy" you could only agree with one part of that nickname — he was indeed a prodigy, but a demon perhaps only in appearance. He kept in himself those weakened, smoldering particles of warmth and love that he allowed to warm his heart only with you and Odasaku.

And you, like no one else, saw it and appreciated it. Perhaps you didn't even realize it yourself, but at some point your heart literally began to ache from the accumulated warm feelings for him. You endured this mental anguish because you were sure that he didn't need it, or he would reject you.

But fortunately, none of this happened.

You remember how you went for a walk in the snowfall, and you caught snowflakes in your mouth, and he called you stupid, but you didn't care. You called him stupid when he threw a nice snowball at you with all his might... You remember when the skin on your cheeks and hands was already starting to pinch and tighten from the cold, and you were laughing while you were fighting, and he always throw you to the deflection, and you landed in a giant snowdrift. All your clothes were soaked from the snow, and Dazai only stopped laughing when he saw you desperately trying to keep warm, shivering from the cold. Then it finally dawned on him, and you quickly went to the mafia building or to his "home". He wasn't particularly proud of his house, which was just a shipping container. So basically he took you to the mafia building, but if you insisted, he could agree to spend some time with you at his house.

In winter, Osamu was a real simpleton — he almost never wore a hat, scarf, or mittens. It could be bitterly cold outside, but he still went out without any warm clothes. His warm wardrobe for the winter was everything he wore in all other seasons, and the only thing that was added was a warm black coat that Odasaku gave him. You were always cursing why he was walking around with uncovered head and not dressed properly, but he waved you off and ignored your requests to wear a hat/scarf.

But still, one day, when you, having excellent knitting skills, knitted him cute warm mittens, he grunted with displeasure and took them without saying a word. However, during your next walk, you noticed that he was wearing them.

Right after that, you started knitting him a scarf, and after a couple of weeks it was ready. You also packed it as a small present, but as usual, Osamu did not appreciate your efforts with the decoration; but he wore the scarf all the time (not without your reminders ofc).

You wanted to go to the rink together to try yourself at it, but unfortunately, by the time you remembered your intentions, all the rinks were already closed, so you had to postpone this entertainment for the next year.

When spring came, everything always changed somehow: the mood improved, the work went easier, and everyone began to live a little better. This wonderful time of the year was something enlivening. Everyone knows that it is in spring that you can catch a wonderful natural phenomenon — cherry blossoms. The second name is hanami. You really loved these few short days when you could catch this sight. And Dazai, knowing this, finally decided to hint at inviting you to go with him one day (of course, he consulted with Oda and Hirotsu before). He's very lucky that you didn't hesitate to agree.

The preparation for the traditional holiday took place slowly, you managed to do all your business and buy all the necessary attributes. On the day of the celebration, you were wearing a very beautiful kimono in delicate, light shades, and Dazai made do with a simple dark haori. Don't have to mention that he was fooling around for almost half of your walk, but at some points he was unusually serious. You were a little confused by his sudden mood swings, but given his nature, you weren't too surprised. This youngster was unpredictable.

Admiring sakura went great, although Osamu managed to piss you off a couple of times. You saw his face when his dark eyes were staring into the distance, looking at the delicate pink, mixed with white petals slowly flying down — it was a look of anxiety and peace at the same time. And yet, a slight smile touched his lips.

Time passed, your relationship was at a stable level, but still your heart felt the insufficiency that the lack of love gave you. You tried to overcome these feelings with all your might, but nothing came out; it got to the point that one day you had a dream with him; but it was very touching and gentle — a spacious field, waving grass, a cool breeze and a scorching sun, and in the middle of it you, and only you two. More than half of the summer has already passed; Work has not stopped, of course, there are no summer holidays or vacations in the mafia. But sometimes you and Mr. Bandaged Mummy managed to get out of the hectic world of blood and murder.

It was very hot, and you couldn't stand the heat, so you tried to stay in places where the temperature was more or less stable or slightly cool. You always have taken ice cream from the same stall: Dazai has always chosen some strange and tasteless ones, but of course this is only in your opinion. You took your favorite flavor, and often offered him a taste, but he always refused. Boring jerk.

And one day it happened.

His birthday has just passed; it was only a couple of days later, when his 2-day absence from work became suspicious, and you found out that he had made another attempt on his holiday. It was like it cut into your heart — it was so painful to realize it. You tried to contact him somehow, called him, but he seemed to have forgotten about the existence of his phone. You knew it wouldn't be the best idea to show up on his doorstep, so you just had to wait him to show up himself.

And you remember that day by heart: when the bell rang at your door, then a small knock in confirmation. You immediately went to the door and opened it... Osamu was behind. You saw him like this for the first time — with a slight smirk on his lips, an apologetic expression on his face and ...a bouquet of white lilies... You didn't know why, but in that quiet moment when you saw him, you caught your breath and almost burst into tears.

All the emotions mixed into one huge lump that came to your throat, and you, knowing perfectly well why he was here, carefully, timidly took a step forward and hugged him, burying your face in his shoulder. One of his hands was holding a bouquet, so he lightly hugged you with his other hand. After a couple of moments, you heard him whisper:

«Well, don't whine... I can't stand it, you know»

Those words made you smile, and you pulled back a little. Without further ado, he handed you a beautiful, elegant and delicate bouquet of lilies, after which he added:

«Well, I hope you've at least guessed that this is an occasion....»

«Sure... You wanted to apologize, didn't you?»

«And you're smart today, mouse»

You smiled at his comment; he always called you that in a teasing manner, but now it sounded more affectionate. You understood everything at once — white lilies, such a beautiful flower, which means apologies and kindness of intentions. It was his way of earning your forgiveness for what he tried to do to himself.

You spent the evening together; Lilies flaunted in a pretty vase, you watched some kind of movie. It's been dark outside for a long time, but it seems that both of you had no plans to let each other go. And yet, you both felt the tension in the silence that you allowed to hang.

You've been waiting for this. And he knew that there would be no better moment.

«Y/N.»

«Yes?»

«Forgive me»

«For what?»

«For what I'm about to do-»

As soon as he uttered the last sentence, you felt his hands on your shoulders, and he left a light, almost weightless kiss on your lips. It was so funny and embarrassing for you at the same time. Osamu looked at you for a while before hugging you to him and burying his face in your hair.

«You're all I need. You're all I can ask for.»

He muttered softly. After a couple of minutes of hugging, you finally did what you wanted — interrupted his speech and pulled him into a real kiss... But don't think he gave up on you so easily. No way. He's going to take matters into his own hands anyway...

But that day was what divided your life into before and after.

In a good way.

|P.S I think I wrote too much (( I have such a writing style, I hope you liked the headcannons mixed with drabbles. Thanks for reading! I hope I will release some more works. 𖥔 ݁ ˖๋ ࣭ |