#if i wasn’t already insane i would be now

[cressidagrey]

Such A Mystery - Part 12 - The End

Pairing: Max Verstappen x Colette Leclerc (Original Character)

Summary:

Max Verstappen fell in love at the ripe old age of 12 and never looked back.

Colette Leclerc really regrets posting that particular Taylor Swift Lyric to her private Instagram account, because it made George Russell go insane.  

The rest of the world has absolutely no idea that the Dutch Lion and Charles Leclerc’s twin sister have been a couple for 15 years and are expecting a baby. 

Warnings: 

Pregnancy, Mention of multiple miscarriages, Pregnancy complications, George Russell Bashing (he's probably really nice in real life but in this, he's the bad guy, sorry), Jos Verstappen, We have apparently now reached the time where I also bash Ferrari. I am sure they are super nice in real life too. They are not in this.

Author Notes: Huge thanks to @llirawolf for holding my hand through this. Chapter 12 of 12!

They were alone. Just the three of them.

Colette had never felt so exhausted in her entire life. But she had also never been so happy. Charlie had been fed once more and had then fallen back asleep, curled up on her father’s chest. Colette herself could barely keep her eyes open.

And she should be sleeping, but she could only watch her daughter curled up against Max's chest.

"How did we manage to create something so perfect?" She asked him softly.

Max let out a tired little huff of laughter, not bothering to open his eyes. “She is perfect, isn’t she?” he murmured quietly.

Colette felt a smile tugging at her face. “Perfect and absolutely beautiful,” she agreed quietly, shifting a little to get a better look at the two of them. "So perfect it almost hurts to look at her."

Max smiled at her. "I...There is this thing you should know," he said hesitantly.

Something about his tone, the hesitance in his voice, made Colette pause. "What is it?" she asked curiously.

"I may have told the whole world about us? On Instagram?" he admitted with a grimace.

She could only snort at that. "I think your father made sure that that cat was out of the bag," she told him drily. "What did you say?"

"That we have been a couple for 15 years. That I couldn't be happier with you and our little family," he said simply. "I wanted everybody to hear our truth," Max said softly. "Not what other people write."

"There is a romantic inside you after all," Colette teased him softly.

"You aren't angry?" Max checked.

Colette sighed. "Not at you," she said simply. "I can't be angry at you. You just want people to know how happy we are together. We kept it quiet for years for me," Colette said, staring at her daughter. "Is it weird that it feels like she put everything into perspective?" she asked him, nodding towards Charlie. "I just...I don't care anymore,” she admitted.

Max stared at her, blue eyes wide, but Colette just shrugged. “I was terrified for so long what people were going to think about me once they knew about us...but now...I don't care. What does it matter?"

Max reached over and laced his fingers through hers. "It doesn't," he promised her. "I'll start screaming it from the rooftops tomorrow, if you'll let me."

A laugh escaped her before she could stop it. "I think the media already knows," she teased, squeezing his hand. "We can just put my Instagram on public and let them eat their heart out," she suggested. It wasn’t meant seriously. Not really. 

But the more she thought about it, she wondered if that was what it was going to take. Opening up the digital scrapbook of her life. Letting anybody have a peek at their relationship. Hoping that finally they would understand.

"We'd break the internet," Max retorted, grinning at her.

Colette laughed. "We really, really would. Reason enough  to do it?" she teased him.

"And give my PR team a heart attack? Absolutely,” Max returned immediately. “Tell me when.” 

"I love you," she told him seriously. "And I am ready to love you in public too."

She had done it from the shadows for 15 years after all.

He stared at her. "Are...Are you sure?"

"I am very, very sure, mon coeur," Colette told him softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "The only opinion that matters to me is yours - and my family's. I don't care what anyone else thinks," she added, glancing down at Charlie again, who slept blissfully on, cuddled against Max's chest.

"If people want to call me an attention whore or a gold digger, they are welcome to it," Colette said quietly. "I don't care. I'm happy and you're happy and our baby is happy. Let them write whatever they want."

***

"Marry me," Max blurted out.

His words came out of his mouth before he had even realised what he was saying. The room suddenly became very quiet, as if all the oxygen had suddenly been sucked out of it, and Max suddenly realised that he had just blurted out the question he had been meaning to ask for months, at a time that couldn’t be further from ideal.

Colette was staring at him, her eyebrows raised and a look of surprise on her face. She seemed frozen and totally caught off guard by his question. And he didn’t blame her for that. She was exhausted, and had just given birth, and here he was, bombarding her with questions as if this was the perfect moment to do it.

But then she smiled at him. 

"Yes," Colette said simply. "Always yes. You know that.”

Relief surged through him so strongly, Max thought he might just about collapse. She had said yes.

Granted she had said yes the last time as well. 

He remembered that day like it had been yesterday…remembered coming home that May evening in 2016…Fuelled with adrenaline from his first “proper” win. Remembered the trophy that still had a place of pride in their living room…the bottle of champagne, the Pirelli cap…and the ring that he had bought after that race. The celebratory crepes for breakfast the next day where still a tradition they kept with. 

Max felt like he could have exploded there and then, just from happiness. He couldn’t believe that he had just asked her, that she had just said yes. It didn’t feel real. It felt like something out of a dream.

"Yes?" he repeated incredulously, just to make sure he hadn’t actually dreamt it. "You’ll marry me?"

"Properly this time," she teased him, with the most beautiful smile on her face, as she leane up to press a kiss against his lips. “I’ll marry you, Maxie.”

He couldn’t stop himself from laughing, the sound breathless. It wasn’t just exhaustion that made him sound like that, it was disbelief, a sort of giddy lightness.

"Properly this time," he echoed back to her, his words soft. "You’ll marry me properly."

He couldn’t actually believe she was saying yes. "I do have a ring," he assured her. "It's at home. I hid it in the trophy."

Colette laughed. "Of course, you hid it in the trophy," she repeated, her voice warm and amused."Of course you did."

Max gave her what he hoped was at least a resemblance of a sheepish look. “Where else would it be safe?” he said defensively. "And I know you wouldn't look there," he added.

"A perfect place to hide something you don't want me to find," Colette agreed.

Max grinned at her. "Exactly," he said happily, gently brushing her hair from her face.

"Which trophy?" she asked him seriously.

"Spain 2016," he answered honestly. His first one. The one. 

"You hid it in the 2016 trophy?" Colette repeated, her smile widening into a grin. "Really?"

"Just felt appropriate,” he answered honestly. He still remembered handing it to Colette for the first time, the ring that he had bought clanging around in the bottom of it. 

"It is," she agreed softly, leaning up to press a kiss against his lips.

Max smiled against her mouth, his arms tightening around her, pulling her a little closer. He couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. He couldn’t believe he had just blurted out the one question he had been wanting to ask for ages, and she had actually just said yes.

"You’re really going to marry me," he mumbled against her mouth, unable to help the words. "You’re actually going to marry me."

"I had your baby, but this is what shocks you?" Colette asked him with a laugh. 

He laughed, pulling her closer again and nuzzling his face into her shoulder, her words causing him to blush faintly. “I love you,” he mumbled against her skin quietly.

"I love you too," she echoed back quietly. "And yes, I will marry you. As many times as you’ll ask."

"I am the luckiest man in the whole world," he said softly.

"No, I’m the luckiest," she told him gently, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him close again. "To have you, and this, and Charlie, and all of it. It’s everything I ever wanted.”

[crazyvik97rpg]

„But…I will not become healthy just like that overnight, right?“, Sebastian sighed, appreciating William’s positive words and reassurance, really, but he couldn’t really believe that they were already so close to finishing this chapter. There was still a whole book ahead of them, basically – that’s what Sebastian felt like anyway.

„This will take me months, right? And we don’t know yet if whatever treatment we choose will be effective. And…and I will–…“

He was too anxious to admit it – that he would change, a lot. He was afraid William wasn’t considering it all – what the treatment meant, not only for Sebastian but for him as well. Sebastian was afraid William would be…surprised, to find him frail and weak, like a shadow of his old self. Deep down, Sebastian was afraid he would face rejection, that it wasn’t like William had expected or anticipated.

He was getting anxious again, his hand sweaty as William held it lovingly in his hand. He was embarrassed for feeling like this, felt anxious that William might feel differently if he spoke up about it. What if it would take too long? What if William grew too impatient to wait? What if he lost attraction to him when he would lose all his hair? All those what if‘s kept swirling around in Sebastian’s head and he refused to tell William about those worries. Thus…well, his hair. It all came down to his hair, for some insane reason.

„…I…I don’t want to think about it now. I‘m hungry, I need food first to think properly…“

For I have sinned...

The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 

William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 

“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?” 

William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.

“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”

“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…

***

Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?

So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.

After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.

The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 

He was in for a bit surprise.

@crazyvik97

[thef1diary]

THESE DIRTBAG!DANNY FICS EAT I LOVE THESE. LIKE IM SORRY BUT I GENUINELY DON’T HAVE GOOD IDEAS AND YET I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. HMMM… LEMME THINK.. (i have never done this before sorry babe)… MAYBE SOMETHING LIKE BEING INLOVE WITH HIS TATTOOED THIGHS/ADAMS APPLE (two completely different things ik) AND A LITTLE BIT OF A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP I KNOW ITS ALOT TO ASK AND IM SORRY. LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH ❤️❤️❤️❤️

— thank youuu!! I did a lil something on his thighs so lemme bring the attention to Danny’s adam’s apple. Em knows how I went feral over it recently and I knew I had an ask about it somewhere! 18+ content below

You had no business being this obsessed. It was just an adam’s apple—a piece of cartilage, for God’s sake—but on Daniel, it was mesmerizing. The way it bobbed when he swallowed or spoke, the way it stood out when he tilted his head back, the way it seemed to mock you with how much you wanted to sink your teeth into it.

You were straddling him now, his shirt hanging loose on your body, the buttons barely holding together as his hands roamed under the hem. He was smirking, always so goddamn cocky, but your gaze stayed locked on the column of his throat. His head tilted back against the couch, exposing his neck, and you felt heat pool between your thighs.

“You’re staring again, sweetheart,” Daniel drawled, his voice deep and gravelly, the vibration of it visible in the rise and fall of his throat.

“I’m not,” you lied, your eyes betraying you as they trailed back to his throat.

“Oh, you’re definitely staring,” he teased, his hand sliding up to the back of your thigh. “You’ve got a thing for my neck, huh? You're staring at it like you’re starving.”

Your cheeks burned, but you didn’t deny it. How could you? The thoughts racing through your mind were filthy beyond reason. You wanted to kiss him, bite him, lick every inch of that thick neck until he was a panting mess beneath you. You wanted to feel his adam’s apple bob against your tongue as he swallowed your name, wanted to sink your teeth into the tendon that stretched so perfectly whenever he turned his head.

“Fuck off,” you muttered, shifting in his lap, trying to mask the wetness pooling in your panties. But Daniel wasn’t having it.

“Aw, don’t get shy on me now,” he crooned, his fingers tracing slow, deliberate circles on your inner thigh. “You’re not very subtle, you know. I can feel the way you clench every time I swallow.”

You clenched again, your thighs squeezing around him involuntarily, and his laugh was a low, dirty thing that made your stomach flip.

“Fuck, you’re obsessed,” he said, his hand sliding up to your waist, holding you steady as you tried to wiggle away. “You wanna bite me, don’t you? Leave a pretty little mark right here?” He dragged two fingers up the column of his neck, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed for emphasis.

Your breath hitched, and he noticed. Of course he noticed.

“Go on,” he dared, his voice dropping an octave, rough and teasing. “Get it out of your system. Or do I need to beg you to choke me first?”

Your head snapped up at his words, your stomach flipping violently. You hadn’t said a single thing about that. But now that he’d put it out there, the idea lodged itself firmly in your mind. Your fingers twitched, and your gaze darted to his throat, imagining how his skin would feel under your hands—hot and firm, his pulse pounding against your palm.

“You’re insane,” you muttered, but it came out weaker than you intended, breathier, like you were already caving.

“I’m not the one eye-fucking someone’s neck,” he shot back, smirking. “But don’t stop now, sweetheart. I love this attention.”

Your hands trembled as they found their way to his neck, your thumbs brushing over his adam’s apple. His pulse thumped against your fingers, steady but quickening. His throat flexed as he swallowed, and your breath hitched at the way it felt under your touch.

“Fuck,” he muttered, his eyes hooded as he watched you. “That all you got? Thought you wanted to leave a mark.”

His words spurred you on, and you surged forward, your lips finding the curve of his throat. You kissed him there, soft and tentative at first, but it wasn’t enough. Your teeth scraped against his skin, and when he groaned, low and guttural, you bit down just enough to feel the muscle under your teeth.

“Goddamn,” he rasped, his hands finding your hips and gripping them hard. “Knew you were filthy, but this? Shit, sweetheart.”

You kissed and licked your way up to his adam’s apple, your tongue flicking over it as it bobbed. He cursed again, the sound rough and desperate, and his hips bucked against you, sending a jolt of heat straight to your cunt.

His adam’s apple moved against your tongue, and it was intoxicating—the rough texture of his skin, the way his muscles shifted beneath your lips, the sound of his groan rumbling in your ears.

“I can feel you twitching,” you murmured against his skin, letting your teeth graze the protrusion. “Does it turn you on? Knowing I can’t stop thinking about marking you up?”

Daniel’s laugh was low and breathless, his hips jerking up against you. “You’re a fucking menace,” he said, his voice raspier now, rougher, like your attention was unraveling him.

“Maybe,” you admitted, your lips curling into a smile as you pressed another soft kiss to his adam’s apple. Then, without warning, you sucked hard, your teeth scraping lightly against it.

Daniel’s reaction was immediate. His fingers dug into your hips hard enough to leave bruises, and a deep, guttural groan ripped from his throat. “Shit, you’re gonna kill me,” he muttered, his hands sliding up to the small of your back, pulling you tighter against him.

You grinned, your tongue flicking over the reddened skin you’d just claimed. “Not until I’ve had my fill,” you teased, your lips ghosting over his throat again, taking your time to savor the taste of him—the faint tang of sweat and salt and something that was undeniably Daniel.

“You love this, don’t you?” he said, his voice rough, his breath uneven. “You love knowing I’ll let you do whatever you want. Choke me, mark me up—hell, I’ll let you ruin me, sweetheart. Just say the word.”

You laughed breathlessly, your tongue flicking over the spot you’d just bitten, your hands tightening around his neck as you rocked your hips against him.

“Don’t tempt me,” you whispered, your lips brushing his ear. “I might just take you up on that.”

And based on the way he bucked against you, hard and desperate, you knew he’d actually let you.

want more dirtbag!danny? send me an ask with your filthiest thoughts and it’ll get answered during one of my dirty drabble days

[giggle-guru]

Aaaand away goes the old audio!! This one sounds a little better (thank you for your help w Jax audio decisions @hype-blue-fixation). Thank you all for your patience with this one! Very satisfying to destroy this rabbit I’m not going to lie LOL. I’m going to have another audio out this week too!! It’s a surprise cause we love mysteries in this house.

Script is under the cut as always!

[Visual note: Imagine the exact scene that this is in LOL]

Gangle: [smiling] Before we get into all that, first things first, are you smiling?

Jax: [confused] Uhh…no?

Gangle: [serious] Why not?

[Visual Note: Chair has six arms that come out as it reclines. His ankles are secured and his arms are raised above his head.]

[Sound Effect: Mechanical arms whirring]

Jax: [surprised, slightly nervous] Ah....uh..wait, wait, nobody can see this right?

Gangle: [giggly] Of course not, silly! After all, the other employees have been doing a fantastic job at listening and being oh so polite to our customers! You should try it!

Jax: [sarcastic] Pfft…right, right, so can you uh…get this [BLEEP] chair to let me go?

Gangle: [more giggly] Hehehe, sure! If you smile.

Jax: [eye roll] I’m not going to smile for a bunch of people that aren’t even real. They’re literally NPCs-

Gangle: [chipper] Well, that’s just not the attitude that I can tolerate! Thankfully, Caine was generous enough to give me full control over the punishment and I know just what’s going to happen in this employee re-evaluation!

Jax: [grumbling] Oh, great, so what are you going to do? Give me another pep talk? Cause it’s not going to work.

Gangle: [slight irritation] Nope! Even better! I'm going to [serious] make you smile.

Jax: [fake laugh] Make me smile? [scoff] That’s the dumbest [BLEEP] idea I’ve ever heard. Good luck with that.

Gangle: [more irritated, but smiling] Wow! You are really pushing my buttons today! I wonder what would happen if I pushed yours?

Jax: [squirming slightly] What are you talking about?

Gangle: Why this of course!

[Visual Note: One of the hands begins to poke repeatedly at his side, causing Jax to flinch]

Jax: [suppressed laugh] H-Hey! What the-?! What gives!

Gangle: [mockingly] Why, I’m just helping you find that can-do attitude! I know it’s in there somewhere, we just need to do a little…digging!

Jax: [groaning, an involuntary smile making its way onto his face] You’re such a pain in the [BLEEP]!

Gangle: [annoyed] You’re the one being a pain. Now just smile, it’s part of your job!

Jax: [snapping] Fine! Fine, I’ll smile!

Gangle: [suspicious] Yeah? Already?

Jax: [grumbling through clenched teeth] Yeah, yeah. You want a smile? Here.

[Visual Note: Jax forces a strained, obviously fake smile.]

Gangle: [pauses, then tilts her head, unimpressed] Hmmm… That’s not a smile, Jax. That’s a grimace. A very... forced grimace.

Jax: [tight smile as he struggles to hold back, fuming] I am smiling! That counts, you [BLEEP]!

Gangle: [irritated] I knew that wasn’t a real smile. And besides, swearing in front of the customers is a biiiig no-no in this industry!

[Visual Note: Another hand begins poking at his other side. Jax squirms again, clearly struggling to keep his composure as the chair's mechanical arms continue their teasing ticklish assault, now trailing up and down his sides as another set begins tickling his underarms.]

Jax: [retorts, but a laugh slips] Oh, get over yourself, we can't even sw-HA! Stop that!

Gangle: [smiling wider] Hmm…I’ll stop when I think you have successfully finished your training. Now then, it looks like its about time to bring out the big guns!

Jax: [gritting teeth, trying to hold back a laugh] You’ve got to be kidding me. This is insane.

Gangle: [giggling uncontrollably] Oh, come on now, Jax! A real smile! It’s not that hard!

Jax: Bite me-

[Visual Note: With that comment, the hands begin scribbling at his stomach and sides, and dig into his underarms causing him to dissolve into a giggling fit]

Gangle: And would you look at that? You could be the headlining employee on a Spudsy poster with a smile like that!

Jax: [giggling] Okay! Okay, so I’m smiling! Stop!

Gangle: Oh, Jax, that was only step one! Step two is looking back and taking responsibility for your actions and learning to respect those around you.

Jax: [squirming and frantically giggling now] That is such [BLEEP]! You’re just making things up now!

[Visual Note: Another set of arms comes from the chair, moving to begin squeezing at his knees]

Jax: No! Nonono! Not there!

Gangle: Making things up? I’m just following the handbook. Now then, let’s review today’s behaviours…

Jax: [a squeal slips] No! Fine, fine, fine! What are you on about? Just get it over with!

Gangle: [disappointed] Well, for starters you can’t put your co-workers in the air fryer! It’s highly unprofessional. Talking about how much you hate customers in front of them…its bad for business. You even insulted your good ol’ manager-

[As Gangle speaks, Jax is laughing hysterically now as he thrashes in the chair, barely able to focus on Gangle’s voice]

Jax: [shriek] Okay! Okay, I’m sorry! I won’t do it again! I was being an [BLEEP]!

Gangle: Sorry? Did I hear that right? Are you apologizing?

Jax: [giggling hysterically] [BLEEP]! Yes, I’m sorry! Just let me go! I’ll do anything!

Gangle: [content] That’s more like it. Looks like you completed the second step and acknowledged your behaviour…now onto the last one-

Jax: [gasping for air] There’s more?!

[Visual Note: A final set of hands quickly removes his shoes and begins spidering along his paws]

Jax: NO! No, no, no! I can’t! I can’t, you [BLEEP]!

Gangle: Yes! The final step! It’s simple really.

Jax: [laughing hysterically] What? What is it? Just tell me!

Gangle: As your manager, I need to ensure that you are being completely honest about your promises to become a team player. It recommends continuing this for the next hour or so-

Jax: [squeal] Hour?! Gangle- I can’t! I can’t! Just- just let me go back to work! Please! Please just let me work!

Gangle: [contemplative] Hmm…it would make more sense to have you back out there considering how few employees we have…

Jax: [laughing hysterically] Yes! Yes! I swear, I’ll- I’ll do everything! I’ll stop being an [BLEEP]! I’ll do whatever you want!

[Visual Note: The hands let Jax go as he collapses onto the chair, catching his breath and curling in on himself. Gangle watches from the TV with a smile.]

Gangle: Then it’s settled! Excellent job, you’ve completed your employee re-evaluation with flying colours! I’m glad you’ve finally seen what it means to be an upstanding Spudsy employee!

Jax: [panting] Yeah, that working here means you’re going to be tortured until you-

Gangle: [serious] What was that?

Jax: [flashing a smile] Nothing! Nothing. Just…glad to be here.

Gangle: [happily] Much better! Now then, it appears you missed your break, so you’ll just have to jump back in there! See you soon, Jax.

[TV screen shutting off]

Jax: [panting] Jesus, she’s something else.

[yiangchen]

as much as i love bellarke, i think a kiss (on the lips) would have been too much in the s2 finale. clarke had already been forced to mercy kill finn and lexa had just betrayed her. and then bellarke committed genocide. all in the same season. girl was going THROUGH it. i also think the cheek kiss is fitting. and that much more heartbreaking somehow. it’s like. i am too broken to offer anything to you. all i can offer is this short-lived moment of intimacy, and then i have to go. you deserve so much more than me. you know that’s what she was thinking despite his pleas for her to stay.

now, i could see an au where he convinces her to stay, but only if they don’t stay in arkadia but go somewhere new. there are so many post s2 au fics where t100 and bellarke settle by the sea and i absolutely ADORE that concept. in a world where they were going to be cancelled after two seasons and knew about it, i could see this happening and there’s a montage implying everyone lives happily ever after and bellarke gets together eventually.

season 3 is a tricky one. because that season is A Lot…as we all know lmao. they were definitely being set up in the first few episodes. however, gina’s and lexa’s deaths very quickly make things kinda complicated. i love the idea of bellarke happening during hakeldama (all of the emotions were coming out and that kneeled down hand hold was insanely romantic), but only in a universe where bellamy and gina either weren’t together or she didn’t die. i honestly think gina wasn’t going to exist originally and that s2 set up bellarke to happen in s3, but then lexa’s popularity caught the writers off guard, and they decided to go the c/lexa route briefly. so then gina was added in. and things very quickly became a kind of love square (bellamy’s jealousy/hurt over clarke working with lexa and raven telling bellamy “too bad you were never that devoted to gina”). it’s honestly wild looking back at how blatant that was. before the bellamy, clarke and echo triangle, there was the bellamy, clarke, lexa and gina square (and before that there was the bellamy, clarke, finn and raven square…but that’s a discussion for another day!)

anyway, moving on to s4. i do agree that they probably considered clarke making it to space or bellamy staying on earth, but only in a universe where they were going to be cancelled. bellarke never spent a significant time in the same place off screen. i think that was intentional. we were never meant to miss any of bellarke’s story. and if they had gotten together over a time jump, we would have missed so much. i do think it works in the case of a cancellation though. i can see it so clearly. when clarke comes back and sees that he didn’t leave, she’s furious, asking him why, and he’d probably say something sappy yet sarcastic about how it’s kinda hard to listen to his head when his heart is telling him he’s in love with the girl he’s supposed to leave behind. idk who kisses who, but let me tell you, this would have been the KISS we had been waiting for. and then! cue montage of bellamy and clarke surviving together and meeting madi and becoming a family and then five years later reuniting with everyone in space and in the bunker.

on a side note, it absolutely kills me that we will never know what bellamy was going to say in 4x06. you are so right though. the writers know and they never went anywhere with that. just like the radio calls. absolutely tragic…

speaking of the radio calls, i would just love to know what was running through their brains with that one. oh to have been in the writers room during that discussion…

it's still so fascinating to me that bellarke was supposed to happen in 6x10/6x11, bob was informed of this, but then he received the script and it didn't happen. that's just so sketch. truly what was going on behind the scenes. it's just so WEIRD the more you think about it. also makes me wonder if that was the first time that had happened. i mean, we already know that there were changes to the 1x08 script to get rid of the line where bellamy asks clarke to run away with him, so i don't think it's that far outside the realm of possibility to think that there were other romantic lines/scenes that were cut throughout the series. i honestly think every season they probably toyed with the idea of them happening, wrote a first kiss or a confession or maybe an almost kiss, decided against it and thought hey actually let's push this to next season, drag it out a little longer.

[greyeyedmonster-18]

Five Times Sirius Black Fucked James Potter and One Time He Didn't

(in a slytherin!sirius au...part 3/5. read parts one, and two here)

-

James could hear his mother's voice in his head telling him to stop fidgeting as he continued to adjust the shoulders of his new Healer’s robes. Allegedly, this was how they were supposed to fit, the typical loose sleeves of other robes an occupational hazard. Apparently. As he waited in front of the double doors past the reception of St. Mungos, he was already counting the days until he was no longer a trainee and respected enough to show up to St. Mungo’s in robes far more comfortable.

But as it was, today was a special occasion at St. Mungo’s, the entire hospital buzzing around him, in preparation for the arrival of a donor--investor?--someone who wanted to sign over too much money St. Mungo’s to support the development of a children's ward. Most of the trainees were given the sage orders to stay out of the way and not do anything stupid. One of James’s colleagues was actually given the day off in lieu of coming it at all, to avoid any major catastrophes, everyone eager and anxious to impress. 

Except James.

Not you, Potter. People like you. You have that kind of face that people like. And James was given two orders from his supervisor in preparation for greeting the donor at the entrance of the hospital: 1) look presentable and 2) be charming. 

Both of which would’ve been a lot easier to do if he hadn’t felt like he was crammed into his robes like stuffed sausage, and if the mysterious donor wasn’t already ten minutes late. Nearly fifteen. He sighed, glancing up at the clock on the wall for the hundredth time.

“Did I miss them, Grace?” he asked the receptionist witch, leaving his position behind the desk to stand in front of it.

“Who, Mr. Potter?”

“I’m not exactly sure, I wasn’t given specifics,” he said, “Only to be here at 10 am sharp to greet some…old, rich, prat, and they are the ones who are late.”

“I’m not--”

“And why wouldn’t they be? It makes perfect sense. They can just buy back the time they lost, and surely everyone else has nothing better to do than wait for them.”

“Sir--”

“I’m sorry, I know, this isn’t your fault,” James sighed, “It’s just the principle of it all. I understand they’re giving us money, doing us a favor even. All that gold in a vault, and they couldn’t buy themselves a watch?” 

“James--” she stressed, dropping formalities to give him a look with wide eyes and a polite smile.

“Sorry, you’re just trying to work. I’ll keep my mouth shut, don’t worry,” he teased, turning back around to resume his waiting for the selfish, rude, prick, he was supposed to be meeting, but his pasted-on smile quickly faded from his face. “No.” he whispered under his breath, so soft James barely registered he had spoken at all. 

The years had been kind to Sirius Black. 

Too kind. Too. Kind.

Dark curls skimming his shoulders now, and skin more golden than James remembered it being five years ago, like he had just finished a holiday. Well-fitted grey suit and a black tie, expensive robes draped over his shoulders with casual elegance. The same dark eyelashes. The same cocky smirk. The same burning in his finger tips, confident voice suddenly caught in his throat at the sight of Sirius.

Nearly twenty-five, and James felt all of seventeen again. Or nineteen.

“By all means, please continue. I am eager to hear what was coming next after old, rich, prat,” Sirius said, counting off the descriptors on his fingertips, “Unfortunately, only two of those things are correct.”

“So you admit you’re a prat,” James said instantly, unable to stop himself.

“I was admitting to being old,” Sirius responded, rolling up the sleeve of his robes to reveal a gold watch with a handsome teal face. “As you can see, I do own a watch, and I am perfectly on time, early even. My correspondence indicated I would arrive at half-ten.”

James felt insane staring at Sirius, starched Healer robes becoming hotter and more stifling by the minute, “Your correspondence said ten.”

“Did it?”

“I--” James didn’t have a rebuttal. He did not see the letter, he hadn’t even known who this investor was going to be and was merely following instructors from Healer Bones. For all James knew, he was sent to stand out at reception a half-hour early just in case. For all James knew, no one was expected until noon, and he was just supposed to say “yes!”. 

“No matter. What did you say your name was?”

“I didn’t.”

“Sirius Black,” Sirius said, grey eyes twinkling with unreleased laughter as he put on a show for the receptionist, extending his hand to James as if they had never met. Meanwhile, Grace had made herself quite busy with paperwork, keeping a smile on her face, cheeks tinted pink.

“James Potter.” James extended his hand to meet Sirius’s, shaking it briefly. Black didn’t break eye contact, their warm palms meshing together. “Welcome to St. Mungo’s, we are so…honored to have you,” he managed. If Sirius was going to put on a show, so was James. 

“Are you a Healer here?”

He pulled his hands away from Sirius’s, carefully placing both behind his back, “Trainnee, and given the responsibility of greeting you. If you can follow me, Mr. Black, Healer Bones, and Healer Fletscher are waiting for you, and will be thrilled to speak with you further.”

“Oh, but we were just getting to know each other.”

“What a shame,” James replied, with a fake smile, and watched as Sirius rolled his eyes in response now that they were further away from reception, walking through the double doors together. 

It was primal.

But James could smell him. Feel him as they walked in pace, shoulders brushing against one another, perhaps intentionally. Every inch of James was screaming, and he barely contained his sigh of relief once he saw the faces of his supervisors, rushing to greet Sirius and make a good impression.

“Mr. Black, we are so pleased you could make time for us today,” Healer Bones said, presenting her hand to Sirius. James had to stifle his own eye-roll as Healer Bones’s cheeks even flushed as Sirius began speaking. Because why wouldn’t they?

The charm.

The smile.

James knew. Of course, James knew. Even after five years, of no contact-- not a letter, not a run-in on the streets of Diagon Alley, nothing-- James knew how disarming Sirius Black could be without saying a single word. 

James had made a vow, though, at the front of an aisle, his family and friends gathered around him, holding hands with a beautiful, kind, caring, woman, that the night before his wedding was the last time. And it was. 

A marriage.

A war.

A child, who was now almost five years old. 

James kept his vow, staying clear of Sirius, no matter how many times a tiny thought crept into the back of his mind, wondering where he was, how he was, what he was doing, who he spent his time with, every question under the sun. And now Sirius was here, wiggling his way into his supervisors’s minds the way he had done with James. 

Good luck getting him to leave.

Healer Bones turned into puddy in Sirius’s palm, Healer Fletscher seemed to be standing up straighter, gesturing proudly and broadly to the conference room, talking in a voice much louder and lower than he usually did. Did James look the same when he began to unravel around Sirius? 

Absolutely foolish?

“I hope you’ll forgive my lateness, I was merely engrossed in conversation with Mr. Potter here, and completely lost track of the time,” Sirius’s voice cut into James’s thoughts.

So he was late. Bloody prick.

“No trouble at all. I am glad to hear Mr. Potter was a pleasure. He is one of our finest trainees, has a bright future ahead of him,” Healer Fletscher said. 

“Is that so?” Sirius asked, tilting his head and looking at James. “Well, then I’d love to take this opportunity and have Mr. Potter give me a tour of the hospital. Hear more about this bright future and, of course, the future of our collaboration together.” 

“I really don’t think that's necessary,” James said quickly, “Healer Bones, didn’t you say you wanted me--” but James stopped short, noticing the expression on his supervisor’s face that clearly indicated shut up, if he wants a tour, you’re giving him the tour.

“Nothing that can’t wait until this afternoon, if you don’t mind, Potter,” she said, unblinking. 

James smiled, thinking he would rather die than be left alone with Sirius Black, “Of course.”

If Sirius heard the nearly pathetic, whispered whine James made in the back of his throat, sounding an awful lot like his toddler when he didn’t get his way as he walked back down the hallway to begin the tour, he didn’t say anything.

Just smirked.

Dragon hide boots clicking on the tile floor as they made it past the double doors once more.

“You know who I am, you twat.” James remarked, as soon as they were out of earshot and heading into the magical elevators to the second floor. All facades dropped.

“Sure, I do, Jason.”

“You’ve been to the hospital before, you don’t need a bloody tour,”  

“Maybe,” he mused.

“And I knew you were late. Fifteen minutes! You’re such a bloody arsehole.”

“Now, that’s no way to speak to someone who is about to generously donate hundreds of galleons to this hospital.”

“What are you doing here anyway? Sudden change of heart and surge of kindness? Quarter-life crisis? Finally got bored of tucking yourself in with your piles of money and thought you’d take pity on some sick kids? Good publicity? Need to clear the Black name? Or did you just come here to see me?”

“Your ego is showing, Potter. Careful, someone might notice.”

“You’re one to talk. People have jobs to do, you know. This is a hospital, with sick people. Who need us. We can’t just drop everything to cater to you--And this is the Magical Maladies and Injuries Wing, it has approximately 200 beds, and is usually our most impacted unit.” James said, half-heartedly gesturing to the wing as a small group of Healers walked by them, nodding to Sirius, “--and your empty promise to build a new bloody ward or cure Dragon Pox, or whatever else you told them you would do. It’s rude, and it’s cruel, and--”

“Are you going to let me speak?”

“Not if I can help it,” James said quickly, and louder than he intended. 

It was a strategy and the best of options James could think up in such a short time. The quickest tour known to man, and stop Sirius from talking to him. Because that was the problem.

He had been just fine. With his wife, and his kid, and his home in Godrics Hollow, and his blossoming career.

He was fine.

Sirius was the problem, and they were both better off.

Except.

“Okay, fine, this one time, you can talk because I actually do want to know the answer of how you got here, but after that…”

Sirius laughed softly, slowing down the pace of his steps, and the sense of urgency James had to get this done as soon as possible. “My parents have both passed, my Uncle is deceased, which means the Black vault finally belongs entirely to me, and I get to choose what to do with it,” he said, “I’m looking for some worthwhile investments, and this seemed like a good place to start.”

“Why?”

“Why not?” Sirius asked back, shrugging, “As you might say, I can tuck myself in with my bags of gold and donate to a hospital that is in need at the same time. There’s more than enough to go around.”

“...Galleons?”

“Yes,” Sirius stated simply, “Merlin knows I don’t need all of it.”

“Well, now I feel like the arsehole.”

“Good.”

“I take it back.”

Sirius grinned, as they stepped into the elevator to the third floor, and his heart turned upside down in his chest. It was just a smile.

This was just a tour.

You have a life. You have a wife. 

“You really didn’t know I worked here?” James asked cautiously, all too aware of how stupid he sounded. 

For Merlin’s Sake.

“No,” Sirius said, “That was a pleasant surprise.”

“Oh.” pleasant. 

“Why did you decide to become a Healer?”

James swallowed, taken aback at the question, and looked down at the floor, running a hand through his hair, “I was forced to go into hiding…and it’s a helpless feeling to know people are out there fighting and you’re trapped inside, and so many people were injured and killed…I just told myself if I got out alive, I’d try to save more lives in the future to make up for it.”

“How noble.”

“I was being sincere.”

“So was I,” Sirius stopping their walk in the middle of the hallway, just outside a group of patient rooms. “For what it’s worth, I’m glad you're okay.”

“Not worth anything,” James replied briskly, tugging at the stiff collar of his robes, and pulling down the sleeves. 

“Stop pulling. They look good on you.”

“On the right, you’ll see a wing dedicated in the name of Griselda S. Harrington, she was a Healer who--” James began loudly. 

“It’s just you and me now, Potter.”

“Exactly.”

“How’s your wife?” he quipped.

“Exactly,”  James repeated and stopped in his tracks at the end of the hallway near the annex. “Can we just…can I just give you a tour? Can I just fulfill this obligation I have to appease the hospital, and you can give us your money, and we can go back to…”

“Pretending the other doesn’t exist?” Sirius finished, with a raise of his eyebrow. James closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Was that what he was doing? “That was…nice, wasn’t it?” 

He felt Sirius’s hand on the side of his face and opened his eyes again. Sirius’s robe sleeve was hanging down his arm, and just beneath the cuff of his shirt sleeve, at this angle, James could make out the beginnings of a tattoo. That was new. 

What else is new?

“I don’t need nice,” Sirius said, but James grabbed Sirius’s wrist, taking his hand off his face and pushing it down. “Hm. I guess I didn’t realize you did. Guess somethings change, Potter…”

Forgive me.

“Let’s take the stairs this time around,” James offered, inclining his head to the door they were closer to, rather than making their way back toward the elevators.

“I can’t care, Potter.” 

Forgive me, please.

James pulled Sirius’s arm roughly through the doors before shoving him against the wall of the stairwell. It was satisfying to see grey eyes grow wide with surprise; to hear Sirius’s breathing hitch just slightly. James slotted one of his legs between Sirius’s, grinding his hips into Sirius’s and biting at his ear. 

“P-Potter,” Sirius gasped, head inclining backward onto the wall. Five years later, and maybe this time James could finally have the upper hand. 

James’s hand moved slowly down Sirius’s chest, expensive dress shirt beneath his fingers, until he reached the waistband of his trousers secured with a dragonhide belt. Gold buckle. 

He pulled the it upward, unhooking it, the metal prong clanging against the frame of the buckle.

“Potter,” Sirius said again lowly, head still against the wall, chest rising and falling rapidly. One of his hands on James’s forearm. 

“Hm?

“This is--” James undid the fly of Sirius’s trousers. How easy they fell to the ground, sitting crumpled around Sirius’s ankles, undoubtedly expensive material simply ruined, collecting Merlin knows what else from the stairwell floor. Bare thighs covered in dark, dark hair.

“You were saying, pretty boy?” James asked, before pressing his hand firmly against the visible bulge in Sirius’s briefs. “About not needing nice? You think I need nice?”

“I don’t, I didn’t--” Sirius breathed, but couldn’t manage the rest, James’s mouth cutting off his words. Tongue darting deep into Sirius’s mouth with such force, he felt Sirius’s grip tighten around James’s arm. 

This was better.

The moaning, the dark curls sticking to the wall behind his head, crisp white shirt pulled halfway up his torso. 

“You’re going to be death of me, I think, Black,”

James wanted nothing more than to make a mess of this man. 

“I can live with that.”

[kinardsevan]

this love will take my everything

(aka the follow-up to maybe, someday, love) cw: hospitalization, helicopter crash, related injuries; word count: 2069 (not cross-posted to ao3...yet)

“Can I go up with you?” 

Tommy turns in his spot just outside his helicopter, and his eyes fall on that beautiful man. Recent time has been awful in his absence, and even though everything inside of him is telling him he should say no—that they’d gone their separate ways on purpose—the other half of him aches to be closer. 

“How’d you find me here,” he asks before turning back toward the inside of the helicopter, continuing to work through his pre-flight checklist. 

“Had a hunch,” Evan answers, his voice drawing closer with footsteps that suggest he’s crossing the space between them. “Knew you wouldn’t be at work, and your truck wasn’t in your driveway. No lights on. Besides…” He pauses, his voice much closer now, and standing close enough that Tommy can feel his body heat emanating. “Anytime you have a bad shift, you fly.” 

Tommy gulps as he finishes zipping up the first aid bag after checking and rechecking it’s contents. He leans out of the cockpit and Evan is standing so close that he immediately smells mahogany and teakwood with a lingering undercurrent of lavender. It stirs something in his chest and gut simultaneously; the scent that so easily drove him insane anytime he got near the other man, nevermind when they were actually in the shower together. 

This close together, he can see the individual lines of those watermelon-pink lips, the curve of the port wine stain below his eyebrow, and how it’s just the slightest bit darker than its counterpart above the eyebrow. He swallows again as he tugs the bag off the seat and Evan steps aside, allowing him access to the open storage compartment. Tommy shoves he bag in and puts the lid down, locking it in. 

“What’re you doing here, Buck,” he asks, his voice low, weary. He doesn’t have the energy for banter or excuses right now. Because E- Buck is right. He always flies after a bad shift, and the one he’d come off of earlier in the day seemed to be one of those where nothing could go right. Every call he went up for seemed to end in tragedy, and there were too many young people not having good outcomes for his heart to take when it was already so tough to face a world where Evan Buckley wasn’t in his bed at the end of the night. 

“I want to talk to you,” Evan tells him. He gestures towards the helicopter. “Which is why I asked if I could go up with you. Maybe I can finally cash in on those flying lessons.” 

A silent, humorless laugh slips out of Tommy’s mouth before he can stop it. There are so many things they seemed to have talked about doing before the break-up, that he never got around to doing. 

“Look, Buck-..” 

“First and foremost would be that you never call me that again,” Evan states, pointing an index finger at Tommy. “It just feels dirty.” 

Tommy lets out a sigh, staring at him for a long moment. Everything in him is telling him to say no. Being that close to the one person he’s single-handledly sure he’s never loved anyone more than in a cramped space where neither of them can escape feels like a terrible idea; it feels like the simplest way to destroy every ounce of resolve he has to maintain space and let the other man figure things out, move on long enough to realize that Tommy isn’t his endgame. 

And yet. 

He’s weak, and just a man, and…

“Okay.” 

Evan grins at him, and then he’s rushing around the helicopter to the passenger side, climbing into the seat and buckling in, pulling on the headset. Tommy moves slower, but he’s in the other seat fairly quickly still, making his final pre-flight checks before he starts the engine. 

“This is pilot Kinard in Robinson four zero six two four asking for checking clearance for take-off,” he calls out over the line. 

“Good afternoon, pilot. Can you please relay your coordinates? Tower over.” 

Tommy reads them back, and a moment later, they’ve cleared him. He starts to lift the chopper into the air, and then checks in a few times as they gain altitude before switching the line over so it’s just him and Evan in communication inside the helicopter. Plus, for all the things that could be said about the fact that he shouldn’t have let the other man into the chopper with him, he can’t exactly complain. Evan has always understood when he just needs time to be in the air; time to get out of his head. 

He doesn’t have a destination in mind as they move further into airspace. He keeps them at an even altitude, flying further inland over Los Angeles. Roughly twenty minutes pass before Evan finally speaks. 

“So I think you made a mistake,” Evan comments. “Actually, I think you’re an idiot, but that’s neither here nor there.” 

Tommy shoots a glance in his direction, raising his eyebrows at him. “Excuse me?” 

“Yeah,” Evan replies through the headset. “You ended things prematurely. A-and don’t get me wrong, I jumped the gun as I’m prone to do. But you got one taste of a real future with me and bolted like the concept of that future was absolutely impossible.” 

“Evan-..” 

“No, let me finish,” he states, turning more towards Tommy. The other man has no other option or recourse, given that he still has to focus on keeping them in the air. 

“As I was saying. You decided all of these things for the two of us without ever giving me a chance for input. You- you decided that we couldn’t have a future based on… on what? Past experiences with other people? Someone else’s statistical bullshit? What does any of that have to do with how I feel about you?” 

Tommy takes a deep, frustrated breath, glancing over at Evan again. 

“Look, you’re unsure of-..” 

“Okay, seriously? Stop,” Evan states, the lightness in his tone gone. Finally, Tommy thinks. The reality is sinking in. 

“I’m not a fucking child,” Evan growls at him. “Maybe I figured out I was bisexual a few months ago instead of years ago, but I know how it feels to fall in love with someone. A-and okay, maybe I should’ve considered my words more wisely that night, b-but the points were all still there.” 

“Really?” Tommy asks, looking over at him again, eyebrows raised. HIs tone is judgmental, challenging. “They were?” 

“Something else you have to complain about, about what I said,” Evan asks him in an accusatory tone. 

“Oh I don’t know, Evan. You asked me to move into your loft when I own my home,” Tommy tells him. “A house, with a two stall garage and three bedrooms. A car lift, and enough room to spar. Where was all of that going to go?” 

“S-so I jumped the gun!” Evan argues. “Sue me! I was excited, a-and-..” 

“And you were talking about my sexuality like I’m some kind of trailblazer for gay people,” Tommy counters. “You think I sound crazy for telling you that you’re still figuring things out when you were throwing moving in together, engagement and marriage at me ten seconds after telling me that our mutual ex was “transformative” for you.” He pauses for a second, as though the thought only occurs to him afterward. “Oh, at least until me.” 

“And I meant every damn word,” Evan tells him. “I didn’t tell you I wanted those things because I didn’t understand the concept of what I was asking, or because I need to go fuck other people to figure myself out, Tommy. I said the relationship was transformative because it was. A-Abby… Abby made me want to get my shit together and stop making reckless choices to sleep with anything that moved just to get some kind of validation.” 

Tommy’s expression softens just a little as he looks over at Evan, hears him explain his actions. Evan sinks back against the seat slightly, his own resolve folding under the honesty of everything he’s saying. 

“W-when I said until you, it didn’t have a damn thing to do with your gender or my sexuality,” he rasps. “It was because for the first time in my life, I realized that I didn’t want to wake up next to anyone else for the rest of my life. I didn’t- I didn’t-..” 

“You said you admired me,” Tommy tells him, although his tone is much softer. 

Evan nods, inhaling a shaky breath. “You’re right. I did; which is true, by the way. B-but, also be-because historically, saying I love you has not worked out for me very well,” he rasps. Tommy inhales a sharp breath, letting it out in stunted exhales. 

“And you don’t get to tell me that I don’t understand what it means to be in love with someone,” Evan rasps, his voice full of gravel and insistent as his eyelids burn red and brim with tears. “I picked you, and maybe- maybe I didn’t spell it out the right way. B-but the bones of it were there.” 

Tommy gulps, nods at Evan’s statement. He’s not wrong, and there’s a lot to be said in response to it, but doing it in the air when his attention is split doesn’t exactly feel like the right option. He glances around them through the window. They’ve made it out of LA County and into the mountains. He needs to find a place to set them down, or circle back, but that’s going to take another half an hour that he doesn’t really want to wait on. 

“Look, there’s more I want to say on all of this, but I need to get us on the ground,” Tommy states, starting to turn the helicopter. He reaches across the dash, flips the channel back over so there’s communication with air traffic, and asks for an open space to set them down. When he doesn’t get a response back, he sends calls back through again, only to receive silence once more. 

“Something wrong,” Evan asks, trying to keep his concern from being too obvious. 

Tommy glances across the dash, pushing a few buttons for the comms, but nothing changes. He huffs, resolves to just get them closer to home, but that’s when all hell breaks loose. 

Suddenly, the dash lights up across the board, flashing in all different shades and blaring different noises. Evan and Tommy both shoot up straight in their seats. 

“W-what’s happening,” Evan stammers, panic high in his tone now. “Tommy?” 

Tommy waves a hand at him dismissively, trying to go down the troubleshooting checklist in his head. Evan turns in his seat, digging for the manual and finding it behind Tommy’s seat after a moment. He pulls it out and flips over to the troubleshooting list. 

“Rotor blades?” He asks, looking over at Tommy, who shakes his head in response. “Throttle? Battery master switch?” 

Tommy looks over at him, forcing a long breath out of his lungs in a desperate attempt to calm himself. 

“Evan, honey, please. I’m already down to Oil pressure.” 

Evan looks over at him and then back down at the list, realizing that Tommy is far beyond what he even needs him to read based on his own knowledge of the helicopter. 

“Fuck!” Tommy yells over the comms. Evan looks over at him, sees the worry seeping into Tommy’s expression. 

“What?” 

Tommy gulps and looks over at him. “We’re losing altitude.” 

“W-what can I- h-how-..” 

“We need comms,” Tommy says. “The backup-..”

Evan reaches for it in the space between them and turns it on, switching through the channels until he finds the one they usually use while on-shift. 

“T-this is off-duty firefighter Evan Buckley-..” 

“And Pilot Kinard,” Tommy adds. Evan holds out the radio towards him, keeping the button down, hoping they’re being heard on the open line. “We’re somewhere over the county line between Cucamonga Peak and San Bernadino National Forest. We’re losing altitude.” He glances down at the dash quickly and reads off the coordinates. “B-best I can guess is… total engine failure.” 

Voices come back over the line, cutting over one another and trying to ask more questions that neither of them has time to answer. Tommy keeps looking back and forth out of the window, trying to figure out the best option for landing, but neither is good. On his side, they have mountains, and on Evan’s, they have the forest. Both could kill them, whether through fire or just the injuries alone, and he doesn’t love either. 

“We’re under three thousand feet,” he states, his voice tight as he reaches his right hand across the center console and squeezes Evan’s hand tightly. His jaw is tight as he looks over at him, the worry and panic clear in his eyes. “I w-…this isn’t-…” He lifts his hand to the back of Evan’s head, squeezing the back of his neck. “I love you too, Evan.” 

He lets go of him just as quickly and has both hands back on the cyclic, suddenly jerking the helicopter to one side. 

Seconds later, they’re on the ground. 

. . . 

Sal yawns as he walks towards Bobby, some ten feet away from where he’s just come out Tommy’s room. He’s hardly a fan of the older man, even after all the time that has passed, but somehow they’ve found a way to work together when they’ve been forced to work the same scenes. 

“Any change on the kid,” he asks, looking into the room. Inside the room, Eddie and Maddie are both at his bedside, talking quietly from what he can tell. 

Bobby shakes his head, looking across the small circular area toward Tommy’s room where Chimney has gone to take his turn. “What about Tommy?” 

Sal shrugs. “Still struggling to come off sedation. But he’s not seizing, so…” 

Bobby nods, turning and looking back into Buck’s room. Neither man made it out in one piece, but current circumstances certainly seem to be pointing more toward the younger man faring worse. From the intracranial pressure and brain bleeds they’ve been watching like a hawk, to the broken hip, all the internal bleeding, not to mention the myriad of stitches coating his body from head to toe. 

“They said they found them on the forest floor,” Bobby comments. “That it was a miracle neither one of them ended up impaled by tree branches.” 

Sal nods. He glances over at Bobby. “You think they would’ve survived if he’d taken the mountainside?” 

“I mean I’m no pilot,” Bobby responds, his voice tight. “But.” 

Across the room, the sound monitors starting to race emits, and several nurses shoot out of their chairs at the station, rushing into a room they quickly realize is Tommy’s. They both exchange a look and then rush across the semi-circle layout, only to bump into Chimney as he’s pushed from the room. 

“What happened,” Sal practically growls. 

Chimney only shakes his head as he looks at the taller man. 

“I was just talking to him,” he comments. “A- he-…” 

They all stand there, flooded with anxiety, trying to make out what’s happening around the nurses and doctors inside the room, until finally, the monitors go quiet due to someone turning the sound off. Slowly then, they start to dissipate, and the three of them watch with trepidation, until finally enough of them are out of the way or have left the room, and they can see Tommy. 

The ventilator is gone, replaced by an oxygen mask, and his eyes are open. 

“He’s awake.” 

[ohmystaxk]

For there is beauty | Chapter Three: We listen, we don't judge

[MASTERLIST] | [CHAPTER 2] | [NEXT] (01/17/25)

Tags/Warnings: Awkward interactions, Reader is mean to Jayce, Viktor has a staring problem, Tension (wink wink), Making out, Conflictive feelings.

Summary: Jayce and you had been friends for most of each other's lives. So, why did he need to make things so complicated?

You decide to go to the Academy to clear your head. That's when you bump into a familiar face.

Fanfic's Playlist: spotify yt music apple music

Tracklist:

Promise by Laufey, Say Yes to Heaven by Lana Del Rey, You Right by Doja Cat, No One Noticed by The Marías

A sinkhole. A sinkhole would be nice right now. You thought as you were seated across from Jayce at your dining table. If only your mom had decided to stay for just a minute longer, the two of you would not have to silently finish your breakfast. You took another bite from your food, your eyes looking up every once in a while, attempting to catch Jayce’s attention. He did not look up a single time to your disappointment or your benefit.

You quietly picked up your plate and stood up to go wash it. It was a weird thing, to be able to tell whenever Jayce stared your way. Yes, it had been a terrible predicament for the both of you. But it wasn’t like you never saw him with his shirt off whenever he had just woken up when you went to his apartment. Or like the time he had to take a shower at your place because his water line was been repaired. He casually walked out fresh out of the shower with his pants on, water droplets fell down his chest as he dried his hair with a towel.

It was similar. At least you had a bit of fabric covering you.

“Can I?” His voice made you jump in place. You looked to your left to find him standing right there, empty plate in one hand, while the mug was in the other.

He was still avoiding your eyes. How is you seeing me, any different than me seeing you? You placed the clean plate on the drying rack and took a step back as you pointed at the spot you were a second ago.

“Go ahead.” Your jaw was tight as you turned around and started heading back to your room.

When you came back with your bag, Jayce was already putting back his dishes on the rack and drying his hands on the towel. You stood there for a second and watched him as he turned around. His eyes landed on yours before he looked away. You felt your heart beating fast, and your jaw tightened as you let out a huff. Without a single word, you walked out of your parents' house. Not long after, Jayce shut the front door and followed right behind you.

The whole walk to the Academy district was in pure silence between the two of you. Even with the awkward atmosphere, Jayce still walked right next to you, his shoulder occasionally brushed yours. But it wasn’t until the two of you made it to the corner street of the workshop, that you stood still. He, on the other hand, stopped once he was closer to the building entrance and turned around to look for you. His eyes landed on yours, but he looked away once again.

“Are you coming?” He asked, his hand went to the back of his head and scratched it.

Your hands tightened on the strap of your bag. If the two of you stayed alone at the workshop, you knew there would be awkwardness lingering there.

“No. I will go to the Academy. I will see you-.” You saw him frown, his eyes dropped to your hands and you gripped your bag tighter. “I will see you tomorrow.”

“I’m going with-.” He took a step towards you, but you took two back.

“No, you are not.” Your voice came out harsher than you intended. He stopped, his eyes widened, and you could see the hurt on his features. “I-I just need time to work on this, the workshop is starting to drive me insane.”

“I’m sorry-.” He started, but you were quick to shake your head.

“Not right now…I will see you tomorrow, Jayce.” You took three more steps back before you turned around and headed to the Academy.

You took a deep breath, your heart pounded loudly in your ears the further you walked away from him. You had not turned around, but if you were to bet, you were sure he just stood there watching you leave.

The Academy was not too far from the workshop—it was five streets away. You walked around the grounds until you were able to get inside. Your body forced you to keep walking while your mind replayed the look in Jayce’s eyes—how taken aback he looked by your sudden demeanor. Then there was the unexplainable anger you felt towards him. It had already been a bad situation for the both of you, but he just had to make it worse.

“Miss, a bit late, are we not?” Someone said to you. You blinked your thoughts away.

As you looked around, you realized you had entered the middle of Professor Heimendinger’s lecture. The Professor smiled at you from the podium, the harsh light directed at him offered a comfortable shadow for your heated face.

“I-I’m terribly sorry, Professor. I must-.” You tried to excuse yourself, but he was quick, pointing his arm towards the rows.

“Now, now. Knowledge doesn’t wait.” You blinked at him, your eyes darting around the room, only to be met with those amber eyes, a frown on his face as he was seated on the other side of the podium, a hand resting on his cane. “Take a seat now, you are always welcome back.”

You offered the Professor a tight smile as you tried to look for an empty seat. You walked up the stairs of the rows and sat on the closest one. Heimendinger continued with the lecture, his voice echoing as he explained theories you had already listened to last summer. Quietly, you pulled out your notebook and pencil. You tried your best to use this time to work on your research. As you continued to tune in and out of the lecture, your cheek rested against your hand as you started writing down notes.

After what could have been thirty minutes or so, your fingers played with your hair. Your hand started to hurt from the nonstop writing, and you let out a silent sigh. Your eyes suddenly met Viktor’s gaze, your heart leaped in your chest. He was resting his chin on his cane, his eyes staring your way through the dark of the room. His eyes shone just like you remembered they had all those months ago.

On instinct, you were tempted to look behind you, to follow his eyesight. Instead, you leaned forward on your chair, head tilted to the side as you raised an eyebrow at him. It made him realize you were staring at him as well, his grip on the cane failed him and his chin slipped off, causing him to lean forward. Immediately he fixed his posture, he leaned back on his chair. You felt a laugh trying to make its way out, but you smiled instead, bringing the hand against your cheek to cover your mouth as you looked away for a second, meeting his eyes again. And it was like he had done the same, a simple smile appearing on his lips as he set his cane to rest between his legs.

You were the first one to look away, your hand started to scribble on your notebook. Your eyes focused on nothing at all, looking up every once in a while towards his direction. Even with the distance between the two of you, you could admit he was good-looking. The way his hair was neat, yet messy made it look soft. His moles were placed in spots that made the voice in the back of your mind whisper at you to kiss them. His jaw was sharp and nicely defined. His lips were thin, but they had some plumpness to them. His cheekbones, and Gods did you like them?

Your stomach fluttered as his eyes met yours. It was those eyes that made your face heat up as he raised an eyebrow your way, tilting his head with a questioning look, mirroring your action from when you caught him staring. Your hand let go of your pencil, slowly finding its way to the edge of the small table and gripping the corner as you kept your eyes locked on him.

“This concludes today’s lesson!” The sudden voice of the Professor made your body go completely rigid, your eyes widened as you remembered where you were.

The students started picking up their things, some were already walking out of the room. You closed your notebook and put it inside your bag. As you walked down the steps and was making your way toward the door, the Professor called your name, making you stop in your tracks as you looked his way.

“What a lovely surprise is to see you.” He smiled, his furr rising upwards. “How are things going in the Astrophysics department? Not too complex, I hope.”

“It is nice seeing you as well. And not too much, just pushing through the lessons.” You smiled at him. But you looked up when you noticed Viktor walking towards the two of you, his cane bringing the attention of the Professor.

“Well, of course. I don’t believe I have personally introduced you to my assistant. This is Viktor, a wonderful inventor.”

You were going to explain how you already knew him, but the man cleared his throat.

“You have introduced us before, Professor,” Viktor said, and you frowned. Has he?

“Have I? Oh, please forgive my poor memory.” Heimendinger shook his head as he looked at the two of you. “How is the young Mr. Talis?”

“He is well, working hard on his studies.” You gave him a tight smile.

“Such a hard worker that one is. I believe that with you working by his side he will succeed even more, what a wonderful thing young love can truly be.” At that, you shook your head as you let out a laugh. Viktor frowned as he looked your way.

“You are mistaken, Professor! J-Jayce is not my boyfriend, we are not together.” You explained as he widened his eyes in surprise.

“Oh forgive me, I just thought so since the two of you are so very close.” You looked at Viktor, he looked away to fix the hold of his cane, putting his weight on it. “Well, if you are interested. I believe you and Viktor could be a wonderful pair!”

The both of you looked at each other in surprise. You could see the way Viktor’s face turned red as he coughed. You opened and closed your mouth as you looked between them.

“I-.”

“Now, I am to attend a meeting. I shall take my leave! Take care of yourself, Miss.” The Professor made his way out of the room, not leaving room to talk about his suggestion.

The door closed behind him, and the two of you were now left alone in the room.

“Please, ignore him.” Viktor was the first to break the silence, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t worry about it.” Your hand played with the little charm hanging from your bag. “Just caught me off guard.” A nervous laugh escaped you.

“You and me both.” He sighed, the hand on his nose moving up to run his fingers through his hair. “I knew him to be bold, just not this much.”

“If you live for this long, you must find some entertainment. And I guess you became his.” You watched him roll his eyes with a smile.

“I would prefer it if I were not.” The bright light hit Viktor’s face, casting a shadow on his left side. “How is your research going?”

It was your turn to roll your eyes, “Don’t even get me started.” You leaned on the small desk next to the podium, crossing your arms as you looked at him. “I’ve been stuck with it for the past three months, the deadline is next month, and I still need to rework my draft but it is impossible.”

Viktor frowned, he shifted his weight on the cane while he took a few steps closer.

“I am no Astrophysist, but I could lend you a hand.” You looked up at him through your lashes, he stood in front of you, blocking the harsh light. “Could even give you some much-needed criticism. If you are up for it, of course.”

He tilted his head, a grin on his lips as your hands gripped the edge of the desk. Viktor stood close to you, much closer than he had back at the library.

“Much needed? Someone thinks too highly of themselves.” You crossed your arms. You could not help the smile that appeared on your lips as you heard him laugh.

“Well, I am the Deans assistant after all…But I am not one for ego.” Viktor’s eyes shone as he spoke. You were starting to realize that you liked his voice, the raspiness in the accent, and the way it was soft on some syllables.

“Could’ve fooled me, Viktor.” You uncrossed your arms and reached for your bag to pull out your notes. “But, if you could take a look at the mess I have written down, I will owe you one.”

You presented your notes to him, some papers were folded at the ends from being shoved into your bag throughout the months. Viktor immediately reached for them. His hand was slim, his fingers long and you could see a few small scars near his knuckles.

“No need for that.” He walked away from you, rounding the small desk to sit down.

“Trust me, you will want one after reading that.” You followed him, rounded the table, and hopped on the desk, sitting down beside him.

“How bad could it be?” You noticed him look at your thighs before he glanced up with a raised eyebrow.

“Umm, pretty bad.” You kicked your legs, gripping the edge of the table with your hands. “So, what exactly is it that you do as an assistant? I know you help grade papers and help run projects. Do you help with anything outside of the Academy?”

“If you are asking if I assist with anything counsel-related, then no. Only with the Academy.” He started reading, laser-focused as he answered you.

“But you have run into the Kirammans before, at least from what Cait told me.”

“Caitlyn Kiramman, you mean? You know her?” He frowned.

“Yes, she is a friend of Jayce and me. She tends to tag along with us at the workshop or whenever we come to the Academy.” You explained, resting your head against your shoulder as you watched him.

“You asked about me?” He looked up, a grin on his lips as he raised an eyebrow.

“N-no, she just told me she knew you.”

“She just casually mentioned me, then?” Viktor smiled as you looked away.

“Well, no, but I technically did not ask her about you.”

“So you spoke about me.” At that, you rolled your eyes. And maybe I told her you were my boyfriend, but that is beside the point.

“Are you going to read or not?” You heard him laugh, shaking his head.

Although you knew nothing about Viktor, you couldn’t help but realize you liked these little moments, he was not afraid to tease you and you were quick to do so as well. It felt like you and Viktor had already known each other, there was not a moment you felt awkward when talking to him. Even just sitting in silence felt comfortable. As you studied his features, you wondered how you didn’t try to befriend him before. You were always curious about him, you had hoped once before to get a chance to talk to him but never acted on it. You had known of Viktor for the past three years and you always saw him around the Academy.

“Tell me something about you. And if you want, I can tell you about me.” You gripped the edge of the table harder, feeling your heart rate quicken. Viktor seemed to think about it, flipping to the next page of your notes.

“I don’t like coffee, I prefer tea.” He continued his reading, you simply stared at him.

“I’m… surprised.” You tried to think of something to tell him, out of anything he could have said, he chose something easy. “I’m afraid of heights.”

“Heights?” He chuckled, but you were quick to point a finger at him.

“We listen, we don’t judge, V.” He raised his hand in apology. “Your turn.”

“When I was young, I got really into…rocks.” Viktor cringed as he said that, but you smiled instead.

“I used to collect leaves. When my parents and I came to Piltover, I became fascinated by them. I would always get the ones that fell from trees or bushes and I would preserve them. I still have a book full of them.”

“You’re not from Piltover?” He asked with wide eyes. You felt your heart suddenly beat heavily, your palms growing sweaty.

“Um, no. I’m from Zaun.” You confessed to him. It had been a while since you had to explain to someone where you were from. The reactions were always mixed.

“That makes two of us.” Viktor looked up at you, a genuine smile on his lips. You let out a shaky breath as you smiled back at him. 

“You are? Oh, well, yes, I guess that does make two of us.” You crossed your legs, resting your right arm across your lap. “Your turn.”

“Pretty sure I just said mine.” He retorted, going back to reading.

“Fine…do you remember last semester someone broke one of the glass display cases on the second floor by the west wing?” You winced. Viktor slowly looked up, utter shock on his face. “Okay, it wasn’t me! I might have playfully shoved Jayce, and he might have accidentally bumped into the stand, and…”

“You two broke it?” Viktor pinched the bridge of his nose. Quickly you raised your hands in defense.

“It not our fault they didn’t have the stand secure to the floor! The wind could’ve knocked it down.”

“Unbelievable.” He said before he laughed. “How hard did you shove him?”

“Not hard, he just happened to miss his footing and hit the thing, it immediately tipped to the side and it just fell.”

“Well, I guess the good thing was that they decided to fix them to the floor afterward.” At that, you nodded.

Viktor continued reading, there was no noise in the room except for the quiet breathing from the two of you. The light bathed his features, you remembered the way he stared at you from the other side of the room during the lecture, his gaze heavy and unnerving. The truth was, Viktor was attractive. You had heard girls and guys whispering amongst each other, smiling bashfully whenever Viktor happened to walk past.

You had not noticed before how much you also stole glances at the man, how often your eyes connected. He told you in the library that he thought you looked familiar, only to remember exactly where you sat the entire year. He had to have known your name, he probably helped grade your papers. Viktor had to be familiar with your writing, so he ‘joked’ about you needing some criticism. It occurred to you then that Viktor knew you, he had to. The library was a coincidence, but he chose to talk to you when he could have let you leave. Viktor wanted to get to know you.

“Viktor,” Your voice came out so soft, close to a whisper. Your stomach burned when he looked at you through his lashes.

“Yes?” He had a soft frown, you liked his eyes.

“Your turn.” You let out with a breath, you could feel your fingertips tingle.

“Right, of course.” You did not miss the way his eyes glanced at your legs once again. “I like the color orange.”

You were fighting the urge to run your hands through his hair, you bet it felt soft.

“You knew exactly where I sat, even when you said ‘I looked familiar’.” Viktor’s jaw tensed, his throat bobbed, holding his gaze on you. “You also didn’t answer my question when I asked you if you thought I was charming back at the library, that hurt my feelings, V.”

“I didn’t mean to.” He answered too quickly, leaning forward just a bit, but stopping himself. “I think you are. Otherwise, we would not be here.”

“Good,” You grinned, and his eyes shifted back to your thighs.

You had not realized your skirt revealed more skin when you crossed your legs. You leaned back, pushing your chest out just a bit, your hands flat on the table as you tilted your head to the side, a smile forming on your lips.

“Is the reading going smoothly?” You watched Viktor look away to focus on the notes.

“Y-yes, your writing is rather clear to read through. You get your points across.” He cleared his throat, flipping to the next paper.

“I’m glad you think so. “ You leaned your weight on your left arm, making you be in Viktor’s view. “Are you sure you don’t want that favor?”

He looked up, his eyes wide, his pupils dilated when you leaned forward just a bit.

“Favor?” You could see his ears turn a pretty shade of red.

“I guess I need to be more direct then.” You leaned forward. “Are you single, Viktor?”

You could see the gears turning in his head, his eyes scanning your features as you stared back earnestly at him.

“Y-yes, I am…why?” He frowned, his eyes falling on your lips.

“I think you are pretty, Viktor. And I think you have an awful staring problem, not that I’m complaining. So, if you are okay with it, and only if you are.” You took the notes from his hand, the papers slipping away without any restraint. You placed them on the table. “I would want to repay you for helping me.”

“Repay me? How?” His eyes widened even more when you hopped off the desk, now standing beside him.

You leaned down, bending over to be eye-to-eye with him.

“A kiss, for starters.” You smiled gently. “Would that be okay?”

“I…Yes.” There was a blush on his cheeks, eyes jumping from your lips to your eyes.

You slowly leaned forward, giving him room if he wanted to change his mind. Your nose brushed his, and you gasped when he suddenly kissed you. There was a warmth that went through your entire body. Goosebumps covered your skin as you kissed him back, deepening the kiss. Your hands went to his cheeks. His skin was soft, and you felt a bit of stubble.

His hand went to your hips, pulling you in until you had no other choice but to sit on his lap. One of your hands slowly went to the back of his neck, running your fingers through his hair, it was soft. You pulled back to take a breath but immediately kissed him again, you felt your heart pounding in your ears as a hand squeezed your hips and the other rested on your thigh, he dug his fingers into the exposed flesh.

You pulled his hair, forcing his head to bend backward as you started kissing his moles. The hand on your thigh gripped it harder.

“You are so pretty, Viktor.” You whispered as you kissed his chin and his jaw.

“I s-should be the one saying that.” He struggled, and you opened your eyes to look at him. His eyebrows were close together, his mouth agape as he chased for some air. “It’s hard to keep my eyes off of you.”

“I bet it is.” You teased, kissing him again. The hand on your hip came to cradle your left cheek, his fingertips wrapping around a strand of hair.

“Someone might come.” He pulled away, finally opening his eyes. His pupils were blown wide, making his eyes look darker. His eyelids were heavy as he tried to look into your eyes.

“Yeah,”  You started pulling away. “Maybe.” But Viktor was quick to pull you in once more, kissing you with hunger. A moan escaped you and you gripped his hair tighter, your arms wrapped around his neck.

The hand on your thigh slowly started traveling up, squeezing the flesh as it did. You then let go, pulling away as you watched him chase your lips.

“As much as I want to continue this, we c-can’t, not here.” You tried to get some air.

“You’re right.” Viktor leaned forward, and he hid his face in the crook of your neck, breathing heavily. “Wait, continue this?” He murmured against your neck.

“Yes, y-you could come to my place.” You took in a deep breath, your mind was all over the place, hard to focus. 

Suddenly you bit your lip when Viktor started kissing your neck, his hands greedily feeling your body. Unconsciously your hips started moving, and you yelped when Viktor bit the flesh, not hard but it came as more of a warning.

“Fuck, we need to stop before-.”

“Before what?” He asked with feigned innocence in his voice.

“You know damn well what.” You pulled him by his hair, and oh did you wish you could capture the look on his face. His eyelids were heavy, panting, his face a deep red as well as his lips, his hair a mess. “You look so pretty like this, V.”

“How far away is your place?” He tried to catch his breath, his whole chest going up and down.

“Five, maybe six streets from here.” You let go of his hair, your hand going down to caress his cheek. “But I need to do something first, I will give you the address.” You leaned down to kiss his cheek.

You stood up, your legs a bit weak, you grabbed your notes and started putting everything back in your bag. You found a notebook on the table, you flipped to the last page and wrote down your address, even putting down your phone line and ‘Come over in an hour or so. Don’t make me wait, V’. Behind you, Viktor still tried to catch his breath. You ripped the paper and left it on the table, clear for him to see.

You turned around, giving him another kiss on his cheek.

“I must go now. Calm down, and get some water.” And with that, you walked out of the room without turning around, not knowing if you could leave if you were to see in which state he was.

The entire walk to your apartment you felt as if you were walking on clouds, a bright stupid smile on your face the whole way, replaying the moment over and over again. You felt giddy like you were fifteen again. You went up the stairs to your floor with a small bounce on each step. You opened the door to your apartment, not even realizing the door was unlocked, when you stepped in you let your bag drop on the floor, not even noticing the jacket hanging on the back of one of your kitchen chairs. You started removing your vest, leaving it on the kitchen counter. You didn't even notice when someone stood up from your small couch, walking towards you. You pulled your shirt from under the waist of your skirt, undoing the buttons, your fingers were numb from the pure adrenaline you felt.

You turned around, only to find Jayce standing in the middle of your living room. You jumped, letting out a scream of pure shock.

“What the fuck, Jayce!?” You gripped your shirt, your heart beating fast as you saw him. “What are you doing here? How did you even get in-.”

Before you could even finish your question, he was suddenly hugging you tightly. His height causes your body to fit into his, one arm wrapped around your waist, the other over your shoulders. Maybe it was your previous exciting experience with Viktor that had your body react out of instinct, but you felt that warmth spread all over you. But the way his arms wrapped too nicely against your body, pulling you so close to his firm chest, and how he buried his nose against your hair as he let out a breath. It made your knees feel weak.

“I’m sorry.” His voice rumbled through his chest, you didn’t know why but he was holding you like he would never get the chance to do so again. “I’m sorry.”

Then you felt fingers on the back of your head, that sudden pain you felt from that nightmare. His voice was the same, but the sentiment was different like he had done something terrible. Then the pain traveled to your chest, and you gripped Jayce’s waist, something to ground you. A shiver went down your spine.

“I don’t want you to be mad at me, I am sorry I made you uncomfortable.” He held you tighter, and you tried to breathe, clinging to him as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, the same spot Viktor had kissed, where he bit you. Your fingers flexed, your mind replacing Viktor’s kiss with Jayce instead. “I just needed to see you, I will leave if you want me to. I just had to tell you.”

You tried to speak, but your body and your mind were betraying you. It was just your body reacting to his touch, nothing more. This was Jayce, your best friend, your partner. You closed your eyes tightly, taking in a deep breath. Your hand reached the back of his head, hugging him with your other arm as you leaned your head against his. You let out a shaky sigh.

“I’m the one that should apologize to you, I was rude.” Jayce shook his head, his nose burrowing even deeper. “I was. It was dumb I got mad. You had a right to also feel awkward, I just took it personally. I thought it wasn’t fair I had seen you half-naked around my apartment, but when you saw me it was different.”

“That’s not what-.” He spoke against your neck, his voice muffled.

“Can we just forget it happened? I’m not mad at you, and I don’t want you to be this sad.” You gave him a quick squeeze, smiling against his shoulder. “Does that sound good?”

Jayce pulled back a bit, but he stayed there, you felt his gaze on your neck before he pulled back to finally see you. There was a frown there, his eyes big and sad.

“Yeah.” He murmured.

“Do you want some coffee? I can make us some.” You offered with a gentle smile. “Come on, take a seat while I make it.”

An hour had gone by, and you and Jayce were back to normal, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. One hour turned into five, it was evening when Jayce decided to cook for the two of you, laughing and joking while the two of you prepared ingredients. Five hours into ten when you and Jayce yawned, papers scattered around your living room. And then turned into the early hours of the night, with you lying on one side of your bed with Jayce lying on the other, completely knocked out from staying late and helping you out with your notes.

Viktor never came to your apartment, and he never called.

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[alternate-universe-archivist]

Fae AU where Viktor is a fairy (with butterfly🦋 wings of course) and Jayce is obsessed with proving the Fae are real.

//conceptual, hurt, happy ending 1k words

Some believe in the supernatural and some don’t but most neighbours agree that young Talis has always been unhealthily obsessed with what they call the Fae, especially fairies.

Claiming he was once rescued by one in the forest on a cold winter night when he was lost, Jayce spends hours of his time trying to find that magic again. He has been called crazy and worse, even the best willing people told him that such efforts come at too great a cost, for even if they were real, the Fae keep themselves hidden from humanity.

Jayce doesn’t know though, that there is indeed one fairy that is just as intrigued by other spieces as him. Viktor remains small and invisible, hiding himself behind the books in Jayce’s room, beneath unworn clothes and fabric or the plants he tenders to. For the Fae must never expose themselves.

As years pass Jayce grows curious and desperate enough to try even more unsafe methods of establishing communication with the Fae. Viktor stresses each time another dangerous ritual is done, for the human seems to underestimate the danger some of the Folk pose—not all are gentle. For that very reason Viktor steals the cookies and milk Jayce leaves at his doorstep, takes the seeds left at the fairy altar, rings the carefully strung up bells, dusts the precious crystals, all so no entity more malicious can accept the gifts.

Jayce’s believes grow stronger each time milk is missing, the flowers bloom overnight, when he hears music coming from the windows, when he finds shimmering dust on his pillow. People only call him more and more insane.

Viktor feels a little guilty, would he have listened to his fairy mentor Heimerdinger had he never gotten himself in this predicament. But he can’t just leave him be now. Jayce is only attempting more dangerous rituals, his room ever more fanatic but cozier, the tea he brews smelling so divine. Sometimes he considers revealing himself—against all what he’s taught before. It could bring devastation to those he belongs to…

One day, on a particularly cold autumn morning, Viktor wakes on top of a messy shelf in Jayce’s room. Strangely, the bed below is empty. Delicate wings flutter through the house. No one seems to be around.

Viktor panics when he sees the latest research laying on the table. The notes mention fairy rings: mushrooms growing in circles that lead to the fairy realm. They’re made to lure in children, not adults, and not all fairy families are kind to visitors.

Viktor scouts the forest, trying his best to fly as fast as possible even with one disabled wing. Eventually he finds Jayce only a few seconds away from stepping into a huge fairy circle.

“Please let me interrupt!” tiny Viktor yells while dashing in front of Jayce. Before he can stop and think he has already exposed himself.

Jayce seems to be frozen in place, either by fear or amazement.

“Please go back,” Viktor urges him. “This isn’t safe.” Jayce’s eyes follow him as he flies closer—trying to push him farther away. It’s pointless.

“I knew you were real,” Jayce finally speaks. There’s tears in his eyes. “I knew it.”

“Yes,” Viktor admits. “But you still need to go back. And don’t ever try to contact us again.”

Viktor goes invisible once again. He feels terrible about it, but it’s for the best.

Months pass. Jayce’s experimental rituals have stopped. There’s only one ritual he follows now.

Even when no one’s around he talks, praying that who he saw in the forest that day is listening. All he wants is to see them again.

No one answers.

Jayce went back to the fairy ring of course. Only it wasn’t there anymore. In fact, he couldn’t find one in the whole of the forest.

“Don’t you talk because I’m not a child anymore?” Jayce asks. “Can’t we see each other because I’m human or do you not want to be seen?” he can only ever ask one-sided questions. “Do you dislike humans for what we do to nature?“ His shares everything that comes to mind: his feelings, his thoughts, hopes, dreams, childhood memories.

Jayce tries his best to draw the face and wings he saw that day. He can never get it quite right.

One night Jayce falls asleep crying under the sounds of calm rain. He has never felt more alone. All he has is short memories. Years of research all for a single moment that will never be repeated again.

When he wakes it feels like he’s still dreaming: there’s colorful dust laying right beside him.

Things slowly go back to how it was before. Milk and cookies start to go missing, music plays, sometimes he spots a flicker, and now he even finds notes scattered around the house.

“I can show myself, but do you promise not to tell anyone?” one such notes asks one day.

“I promise,” Jayce swears. “Please. I just want to see you again.”

One morning Jayce wakes not only to dust or flickering light or music, but a small creature sitting on his desk.

He has never been so happy before. They talk for hours, asking each other so many questions, Viktor gets to sit in Jayce’s warm palm, Jayce finally learns Viktor’s name.

Apparently fairies age much differently than humans. Humans age faster, for one.

In an effort to be together forever they do one more ritual. Jayce loses the mobility in his legs, but he gains one of Viktor’s wings.

Finally they can go wherever they want together.

…Heimerdinger is a little upset when he finds out but eventually forgives them.

[jinxsleftmiddlefinger]

timebomb highschool au

(part 8)

(pt1) (pt2) (pt3) (pt4) (pt5) (pt6) (pt7) (read on ao3)

description: timebomb highschool au pretty much sums it up lol. there’s also canon storylines (vander death, vi conflict etc.) but translated into a modern context

note: sorry for any mistakes I’m exhausted lol

Ekko didn’t know what to think when he received the text. He wasn’t really apart of the high-school party crowd, but this wasn’t even a high school party, it was a college party. And Jinx wanted him to be there…

It really didn’t take much convincing. He had texted back almost immediately, and she had sent him a smiley face and the time she’d pick him up the next day.

Now, he’s getting ready, looking himself over in the mirror, trying to figure out what he’s supposed to wear to a party.

His phone buzzes on his desk, and he walks away from the desk to check it.

Jinx: I’m hereeeeee

Jinx: come outside !!

With one last quick glance in the mirror, Ekko left his house with a quick goodbye to Benzo over his shoulder. He hadn’t told Benzo exactly where he was going, not because he thought he wouldn’t be allowed, but because he would not enjoy the teasing about the girl he was going out with.

Not that this was a date or anything. This was a friendly hang out. As acquaintances.

Jinx’s car was pulled over on the road, and he could already hear the bass bumping all the way up the driveway. He knew Jinx was fond of music, especially loud music, so it wasn’t that much of a surprise.

He opens the passenger side door, pulling himself into the car and smiling at her.

“Hel-lo, Ekko!” She says over the song playing on the car speakers, a song about ‘bombs and bullets’ and getting jinxed. “You excited?”

“Yeah it, uh, sounds cool.” He hates how stupid he sounds, especially with having to raise his voice after the music Jinx seems insistent to let play, despite it interrupting their conversation.

“Sorry I was late, had to sneak out!” She yells over the song.

Ekko had been so preoccupied with checking his appearance, he hadn’t even noticed.

She starts driving, and the road is mostly empty except for them. Thankfully, Jinx turns the music down once that song ends, and Ekko is actually able to hear his thoughts again.

His relief is quickly ended when Jinx suddenly hits the gas and starts driving like she’s going to the damn hospital. She veers around every corner like she’s in a race car and he’s pretty sure she sped up when going over a speed bump.

“Are we in a rush?” He laughs nervously. “Why are we going so fast?”

“What do ya mean, boy saviour?” Jinx’s face clearly shows she takes pleasure in his new nickname and his discomfort. “We’re barely even going that fast. If there wasn’t so many damn cops out tonight, I’d show you some real speed.” She giggles.

Ekko should have known that this girl would drive as crazy as she is. He doubts his seatbelt would protect him from a crash with her driving, and he’ll be lucky if he even survives this car ride.

“I’m pretty sure you’re over the speed limit.” He reminds her.

She glances at him like he’s the insane one. “You check that shit?”

Ekko fights to keep his jaw from dropping. She thought it was weird to check the speed limit?

He had no idea how this girl had survived for so long.

Before he could remind her to be more careful on the road or inquire on how she even got a license, they arrived. The house house was a McMansion, a basic, whit hulking with bass louder than the one in the car had been.

“Let’s go!” Jinx turned off the car and hopped out, gesturing him to follow as she ran up the steps.

Ekko followed behind, putting his hands in his pockets and trying not to stand too awkwardly. 

The door swung inwards, revealing a very drunk boy, despite it only being around 8:40. He was staring off into space instead of really looking at them, and he simply laughed dreamily when Jinx pushed past him and opened the door wider for Ekko.

Being very drunk seemed a common theme here. Everyone in the room was either completely wasted or on their way there, and Jinx seems excited to see it. His face heats up when she grabs his wrist and starts pulling him towards the kitchen. 

“Do you want a drink?” She claps her hands together, looking at the bottles of liquor lining the counters, overwhelmed by the choices.

In truth, Ekko had only drunk once, and he had barely even drank anything. After that, he decided it wasn’t for him. He didn’t like the way it muddled his brain and dulled his memory. He understood that some people might drink it to forget stuff, but if anything, it just made him feel worse.

“Who’s going to drive?” He asked her.

Jinx looked thoughtful for a moment, like she hadn’t considered that before. “I will! I won’t drink that much.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Ekko said, a touch too fast.

If Sober Jinx was a scary driver, Tipsy Jinx driving was nightmare fuel. No way in hell was that happening.

“Trust me!” Jinx drawled, grabbing a red cup from the stack and filling it with a few juices and some random liquor from a bottle. Even that much was enough to concern him on how impaired her already perilous driving skills would become.

He sighed, grabbing a cup of his own and filling it with some liquids. He barely put any liquor, just enough for her to not call him a wimp.

The music was blasting behind them; house music that didn’t have a steady beat or a rhythm, just noise for people to move to. Out in the living room, people were dancing and jumping all around each other, surely spilling their drinks on other people in the crowd.

“Come on!” Jinx grabbed him with her free hand. “I need to find someone.”

Ekko felt his stomach drop. Find who? A boyfriend? A girlfriend?

He needed to stop. It’s not like he had thought this was a date anyway. Not technically.

They walked past two guys sitting close to each other on a couch, one who looked like a common high school fuckboy and the other who was a skinny dude with a cane and an accent. Ekko looked away, thinking he was interrupting some private moment by the way they were basically eyefucking.

Ekko hid his sigh of relief when he saw who it was that Jinx had to meet. An older girl with pink hair whose facial structure was practically the same as hers. This must be Jinx’s sister.

“Vi!” She said. “We made it!” He could the liquid in her cup sloshing around as she took another long drink.

“Is this your friend?” Vi was leaning against a wall, a canned drink in hand, looking at him up and down.

She must think he’s her boyfriend.

“Yeah! This is Ekko, he’s new to Zaun High, so I’m showing him around a bit, y’know?” Jinx put a light arm on his shoulder and Ekko prayed that the butterflies he felt in his stomach weren’t written all over his face.

Jinx practically chugs her drink and barely even makes a face when she finishes off the surely burning liquor. “Hold on, I’m going to get a little more to drink.” She slips past dancing bodies towards the kitchen, leaving Ekko completely alone with her sister.

“So, Ekko,” Vi is clearly not entirely sober. “How’s it going with my sister?”

Ekko clears his throat, his face burning even more. “We, uh- Well, good, but we’re just friends. I think you might have the wrong idea.”

She raises an eyebrow and he takes a nervous sip of his barely alcoholic drink. 

“Not, it’s really not like that.” He sounds like he somehow managed to get drunk off the little amount of alcohol in his cup. “Honestly.”

Vi leans closer, intimidatingly. “Listen, buddy, I don’t really care about the technical status of your little fling. I don’t care if you’re officially dating or not. If you hurt her, I swear to-“

“I’m ba-ack!” Jinx sing songs, walking towards them with a demeanour that suggests she’s already become tipsy. “What are-“ She cuts off, and Ekko watches as her eyes widen, turning from an expression of surprise to one of rage.

“What the fuck, Vi? Again?” She bursts out, looking at her sister.

Vi looks up and almost drops her cup. “No, it’s-“

The person that made Jinx so emotional approaches the pink haired girl Jinx is now glaring at. “Vi, I’m sorry, you forgot your phone back at the apartment and I-“ She gasps quietly, looking in the direction of the pissed off blue haired girl. “Oh. Shit.”

He can hear Jinx breathing heavily, and he sees her fingers gripping her cup so hard that they’re turning white.

Ekko starts to get the distinct feeling that he should not be here.

The next thing he knows, Jinx is lunging at the girl and Vi is pulling her away. There’s yelling and pushing and Ekko watches silently, not entirely sure what to do. The music is still so loud that the other people at the party barely even notice.

“Jinx!” Vi lets her go once she’s finally calmed down enough to not physically attack. “What the fuck was that?” All three of the women are breathing heavily.

“You brought Caitlyn here! What the fuck, Vi, again?” Jinx glares at her.

“I didn’t! I swear!” 

“I was just trying to bring her phone, I didn’t know-“ Caitlyn says meekly, gazing between the pink and blue haired girl.

“Shut up,” Jinx growls, her eyes never straying away from her sister. “I should have known. You’re always going to choose her over me. Always.”

“No!” Vi shakes her head, looking at her sister with glassy eyes. “That’s not fair!”

“What’s not fair is that my sister is a liar! A liar who left me!” Jinx yells, still drowned out by the house music.

Vi’s face hardens. “You’re not acting like my sister right now. I miss Powder, Jinx. What happened to her?”

Ekko thinks Jinx might kill her in that moment.

“She’s dead! You killed her!” Jinx backs up, no longer breathing heavy from adrenaline, but instead breathing heavy from her emotions. “Powder’s gone. And you’re right, Vi…Jinx and Vi aren’t sisters.”

Vi’s face falls, and he can see the regret swirling in her eyes, can practically hear her apologies, but Jinx is already done with her.

She starts to walk away, pushing through tipsy dancers, then stops and considers. She turns and grabs Ekko’s arm before pulling them together through the halls of the bustling McMansion. She takes him out on a balcony.

They’ve been sitting in silence for a few minutes, Ekko picking at his hands, when she finally speaks.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

He looks up quickly, looking at her just in the corner of his eye. “It’s fine.”

“Do you hate me now?” She looks out at the fading night sky. “Do you think I’m a crazy bitch?”

He crossed his arms over his knees, looking at her fully this time. “No, no, I….I understand. I mean, not fully, obviously, but I think I get it.”

She snorts. “So you don’t think I’m insane?”

“I didn’t say that,” He smiles faintly.

She giggles in a way that reminds him of her tipsiness, of the cup she’s still nursing. Nevertheless, it sounds beautiful.

She is beautiful.

God, he barely drank anything and his thoughts were already turning to things he definitely shouldn’t be thinking.

“You know,” Jinx leans her head back on the balcony railing. “You’re pretty cool, Ekko. Especially for a new kid.”

“You’re pretty cool too, Jinx. Especially for a crazy girl.” He responds in turn.

“Aw, come on. My craziness is part of my charm.” She winks, and Ekko thinks that he could spend hours thinking about that sparkle in her eye.

“Yeah,” He says, so quietly he’s not even sure she hears him. “It is.”

He tilts his head farther, to get a better look at her, and he sees her doing the same thing. They laugh in unison.

Then they’re getting closer, and closer, and he swears he can feel the tiny amount of alcohol he drank racing through his bloodstream, infiltrating his brain. He’s drunk on just that look on her face alone, anyway.

He’s so close that he can smell the sweet alcohol on her breath, can count the hardly visible freckles across her nose and cheeks, can see the flecks in her eyes.

Then he’s so close that their lips are touching.

She kisses him in the way you would expect a girl like her to kiss; fast, without hesitation, fearlessly, crazily, and all consumingly. He hopes the way he kisses her back is sufficient. 

The kiss deepens, and he forgets about everything around him. The thump of the house music fades into the sound of his heartbeat, the feel of the railing against his back unimportant compared to the feel of her lips on his.

He doesn’t care if she’s crazy or insane or hates her sister. He doesn’t care about any of it when she kisses him like this.

This girl he barely knew yet felt like he understood so well, this girl he felt like understood him. 

Jinx was a good kisser. When they finally broke apart to breathe, that was the only thing he could think. And then he thought about how badly he wanted to do that again.

Ekko ended up being the one having to drive them home that night, though one might say he was as drunk on Jinx’s lips as she was on alcohol. When they said their goodbyes, she kissed him again on his cheek, and he knew then he was a goner.

[oleandequill]

You know, it drives me crazy to know that technically there’s two (at least in terms of prominence cause I think there’s also a TFA one though it doesn’t seem as talked about) canonical Shattered Glass continuities: the one made by FunPub and the IDW reboot.

Cause the thing is, those two comics have vastly different Megatrons and Optimus Primes.

Like we have FunPub Megatron who is a mathematician and Optronix who was a librarian that backstabbed his way to the top.

Then we have the IDW versions where Megatron is a miner/civil activist who keeps getting tossed into jail and Orion Pax who is a senator in this version.

And what fascinates me is that in the FunPub version, Optimus actually lives (though he becomes Nova Prime). Meanwhile, in the IDW version, I think he dies (?) or well his fate is much worse in comparison to FunPub!OP.

Also what’s up with both Megatrons having a fakeout death? FunPub!Megatron does get killed by Cyclonus but he comes back as Galvatron. Meanwhile IDW!Megatron gets defeated by OP and is momentarily thought to be dead (he just went into self-exile).

There’s not actually a lot of difference between the two OPs (cause honestly they both seem insane), though I guess one could interpret FunPub!OP as much more depressing cause the only reason he’s evil is cause he saw life as meaningless unless history remembers you and when he becomes Nova Prime, he’s still a little jerk but he’s tamer so I assume that was his original personality. IDW!OP just wants total power and only initially hides behind a nice facade.

The two Megatrons are vastly different though in my opinion. Cause FunPub!Megatron really was just some guy who predicted civil war and was good enough to want to stop it (this Megatron wasn’t affected by the caste system, he just genuinely saw something wrong was happening and chose to do something about it). IDW!Megatron was someone who was affected by the caste system and was trying his best to bring attention to it. FunPub!Megatron is also very nice (like not overly nice but he’s genuinely such a nice guy and this is why he’s my favorite aside from him being a nerd lmao). IDW!Megatron is a bit more jaded (which is fair cause the caste system is horrible and his “friend” is an asshole).

Even the relationship between OP and Megatron are different in both continuities. I’m pretty sure in FunPub these two never interacted before the war, where OP gets pissed that this random mathematician is opposing him. In IDW, OP and Megatron were “friends” with OP even bailing Megatron out of jail, though their “friendship” was already toxic even before the war cause Megatron seemed to really see through OP’s BS.

All this to say, there should really be a crossover between both continuities.

SGFunPub!Megs and SGIDW!OP meeting would be kinda fun and dangerous, especially if they meet each other before the civil war broke out. Megatron wouldn’t know who OP is while OP would see another version of his Megatron who he could possibly trick. Also this has the added bonus of a hilarious scenario where Megatron predicts OP is the cause of the civil war through math and that pisses off OP cause genuinely tf you mean you computed that through math. This one is more dangerous though as OP genuinely wants power and will not be swayed by whatever Megatron says.

SGIDW!Megs and SGFunPub!OP might honestly end up the happier version ngl. Cause OP clearly has an existential crisis that Megatron can probably fix by convincing him that OP can still be remembered in history by doing the right thing… such as being a civil rights activist. Like… I’m just saying maybe FunPub!OP needs therapy (and unlike IDW!OP, he actually gets a canonical redemption arc so he’s not completely lost).

.

.

.

Anyway, will I write this? Maybe (I really shouldn’t though cause I have a series and two writing requests to finish lmao). Because I am officially employed now and thus have a fixed schedule unlike the previous weeks where my schedule was erratic (which is not good for my OCD as I need a fixed schedule or I will be very upset sksksksk) as I had nothing to do but read, play video games, and exist lmao

[evesedenramblings]

Of all the students, Cassidy is by far the one I find the most suspicious. OP makes a lot of great points! Frankly, I have no idea yet if there’s a mastermind or spy among the students, but if there is one, I’d definitely suspect Cassidy first, and I’ll explain why under the cut.

Like OP has already established, Cassidy is a streamer- automatically a bad start for Cassidy. I don’t have a lot to add here except Dangonranpa has a history with live-streaming its Killing Games, so that automatically makes Cassidy suspicious for me. I’d like to further add her apparent viewer count is MILLIONS, which aligns with the Dangonranpa idea that everyone loves to watch these games. Additionally Cassidy calls herself a GAME streamer, known for playing games live in front of an audience, and now she’s ended up in a Killing Game, likely being live-streamed to an audience. Is this what Cassidy meant the entire time? I’d say a Killing Game is pretty competitive.

Oh my gosh, her ACTIONS. The way Cassidy acts during the Killing Game makes her even more suspicious. It might be a coping mechanism to disconnect from the reality of the Killing Game, but Cassidy is not taking the Killing Game seriously at all. Even the characters recognize she’s insane for this, like when she easily shrugs off walking past a murderer, and Kai calls her insane, the two of them having the (summarized) exchange of “you could have been killed!” “But I wasn’t”. She’s constantly cracking jokes, and as OP pointed out, she’s borderline responsible for allowing the setup of the murder- arranging the game tournament, agreeing to the 9am meeting, not protesting the arrangement of furniture. Additionally, she doesn’t just help setup murders, she creates character moments. She forces everyone out of their rooms, allowing for group bonding that will make the first murder hurt that much more, and during the Pathos route in the 1st trial she teases Damon which makes him having to say “please” that much funnier- but in hindsight, it’s the same method of teasing Tozu is actively implementing. And she does this repeatedly, getting everyone to bond by acting as a jokester and creating moments for an audience to get to know the characters. Is it really a stretch to say she’s employing her skills as an Ultimate Streamer to make sure her audience is invested in her newest project? Also, she acts too socially unaware. Kai, as an the Ultimate Influencer I can believe might not be the best with other people- his talent involves crafting online content sure but a key difference is his craft is working alone, often in isolation. It’s implied he doesn’t really do collaborative work, nor does he have to as to do his job to ‘influence’. Cassidy, though, has already established she works with others, in cutthroat competition no less, and yet she doesn’t believe at all in the dangers of a Killing Game? Who is she competing with at these gaming competitions, herself? Streaming is a more competitive industry than more people realize, and Cassidy is literally a competitive gamer, meaning she would definitely know there are people who are different than they present themselves to be to others. Not only is she keenly aware of that fact, but she’s probably one of them herself.

I’ll be the first to admit I don’t even know what to do with this photo. Wolfgang’s daddy issues will haunt us for years to come as a community. However, OP is right that Cassidy can’t be ignored as a suspect because she absolutely resembles the woman in this photograph which is just- so bizarre. Why does she match the woman so closely? I have no idea. However, something I do want to point out is the woman’s curly hair. The name Cassidy means “curly hair”, and oddly enough lacks any linkage to the Bible, Hebrew, Greek, or a Myth like other characters. Additionally, the name Cassidy can also mean “clever”. I’m sure that’s nothing to worry about. Additionally, I’m alarmed to say “Amber” is in the Bible, but is related to things such as God, along with “purification”, and “judgement”. Basically, due to the gemstone’s association with the sun, it was thought to be capable of absorbing the sun that would become a fire fuelled by God and cleanse sinners and to purify and transform them. Given the whole Cult vibe Tozu is exuding (white robes, weird speech before execution- Tozu definitely has something against Ultimates) it wouldn’t surprise me if this was connected. Amber does also represent protection against bad energy, so maybe I’m overreacting… or it’s BOTH.

Another suspicious thing about Cassidy is her animal motif, the spider! Interestingly, Cassidy’s spider symbolism is expressed purely through spiderwebs, which are used by spiders to lure, trap, and kill their prey. It’s a technique that requires patience, as they wait for the bugs to fall into the web themselves. However- some spiders do take a more active approach. One thing in particular I find incredibly interesting for this theory is something called mimicry, where spiders pretend to be insects so they can easier kill other insects and feed. Also, I admittedly can’t find a picture good enough to double check, but I think she has a spiderweb for each student- on her pants I count roughly 13 spiderwebs, but I can’t find a photo demonstrating the back of her design. Food for thought I suppose.

Cassidy is flying incredibly under the radar right now, likely because we don’t have any form of confirmation that Project: Eden’s Garden is going the route of a student being involved with Tozu. Still, I think of all the students, she’s the most suspicious one in the cast.

Another crackpot "Project: Eden's Garden" theory

(Sunny, they/she) hi again it's your girl I'm going insane again so I'm back with another theory

NOTE: Unlike my chapter 2 theory, which is more cohesive and at least has some Biblical parallels and narrative themes to back it up, this theory is COMPLETE speculation based off of only a few observations - so keep that in mind while reading.

THE THEORY

So uh. Cassidy sus. *points at her* amogus! amogus!

For real, though. Does anyone else get the feeling that she's a bit... out of touch, emotionally? Or that she's the most fourth-wall-breaky of the group, like she keeps feeding her jokes and references to some sort of viewer (whether the player or the literal broadcast viewers in-universe)?

This could most definitely be just a comic relief thing. Or maybe a "streamer" thing, since that's what she's known for - and streamers are notorious for not being totally authentic, especially when they're in front of an audience. It's not like half of their audience really cares about how they feel, or if they're having a bad day - they want entertainment. I could see a character arc where Cassidy becomes a bit more expressive and authentic with her emotions across the rest of the game, learning to let her actual feelings show instead of masking her fear/sadness with smiles and jokes. I would love an arc like this in a DR fangame.

But, personally, I have other suspicions. There's a few pieces of "evidence" that make me suspect her of being the mastermind (quote marks because it's not conclusive and could be interpreted in other ways). I know there might not be a traditional "mastermind" in P:EG, especially since the creators said not to expect canon DR tropes, but just take "mastermind" to mean someone in the main cast that's working with Tozu/Mara/any other killing game organizers, whether willingly or under duress.

THE "EVIDENCE"

She's a streamer. As I said, this could explain why she seems so inauthentic and that's that - but that is ignoring the tangible benefit that her platform would have for the masterminds if they decided to use it. She easily has the biggest live following of the group - while there are other individuals with mass followings, like Wenona (who runs a huge business) and Kai (who has a ton of social media followers), Cassidy's thing is livestreaming. This killing game is being livestreamed. And if the killing game organizers are broadcasting it, it would make total sense for them to take advantage of the Ultimate Pro Gamer's live audience - and this would be easier to do if she was in on it, rather than if they had to hack her account to get a stream going or something.

Her actions during chapter 1. The two most important things she does are: a) kick down everyone's doors so they're forced to leave their dorms, and b) organize the game tournament during which a murder happens. The reason she says she did this was to get people to be more active and do something fun with each other, to boost their spirits. But it is possible that she wanted to force people to be out and about so that there would be more chances for people to kill each other - and/or to keep things more entertaining for the viewers (similar to how she feeds jokes/references to the camera). There is also potentially an argument that she might want to get people to trust each other in a less overt way than someone like Wolfgang or Diana - by getting them to let their guards down. With people's guards down, it becomes easier for a wolf in sheep's clothing to strike. (Hahaha get it because-- *gets shot*) You could even say that everyone's caught in her spider's web and they don't even realize it. (Hahaha get it because-- *double gunshot*)

This fucking picture. (Everything before this was already speculation, but this is EVEN MORE SPECULATIVE!) I have no idea what it means, and I know it was Diana that Wolfgang hallucinated as being his mother when he was in the boiler room, but Cassidy looks even more like her. Like, other than her eye color, she has the facial proportions of Wolfgang's dad and the eyes/hair of his mom. (Haha your mom.) Maybe they're siblings/half-siblings, I don't know. But it does strike me that Wolfgang's last words were "I won't stop until the world knows me as--!" before he died. Which... could mean he knows who the mastermind is, or has some involvement with the killing game, or maybe his parents did and he knows about it ("like father, like son..."). I have no clue, this is just me guessing based off of a facial similarity and two lines of dialogue lmfao.

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I don't know. Try again later.

Uh, but if I had to come up with some sort of potential motive for her to be involved - assuming she's a willing participant and has some sort of ideological or personal motive - then... here goes.

The first thing that comes to mind is something Damon says multiple times in the prologue: "Ultimates are charged with the betterment of society." And, well, he thinks everyone's doing a shit job - except for maybe Wenona, because she's a billionaire and runs a big business that feeds people. Basically everyone else, he thinks is totally useless.

Well... I can see a way that Cassidy might feel similarly, but in sort of a reverse way. She's a streamer and a pro gamer with a huge audience - and so far, she actually seems like the least harmful popular figure in the group. Compare her to Kai Monteago - who's a total dunce and who seems to really only care about his own fame when it comes to his talent. Or Wenona - who's a billionaire, a wealth hoarder whose profile literally says she owns over 90% of the agriculture industry and she dislikes unions.

We don't really know anything about Cassidy's platform (that I can immediately remember) other than "she's a gamer" and "they're called Cassidy's Comrades" - but even in just that, there's already communist theming with the "comrade" joke. Though that could just be a "haha Soviet Russia" joke and nothing deeper, I will also point out that one thing streamers are known for doing is charity streams - oftentimes long ones that become widely talked about because someone decided to stay on stream for 24 hours straight to raise money for a charitable cause. Also, because of the live nature of streamers' relationships with their fandoms, it's much more common than other industries for streamers to be publicly put on blast for things like microaggressions or giving money to bad people - something that could easily influence someone like Cassidy. What is a killing game broadcast, but a livestream where all these Ultimates are put on blast - with their first murder motive being cryptic blackmail about some of the worst things they've done?

In my "Cassidy = mastermind" hypothetical, where Damon's hatred of the Ultimate title and the people who have it comes largely from his ego and distrust of others in general, Cassidy could hate the Ultimate title and the people who have it because she thinks they're not doing enough to help others. Ultimates have been charged with the betterment of society, and they're failing. In this hypothetical, Cassidy also puts herself above others and distrusts others - but expresses it very differently from Damon. Surprisingly, much more pessimistically, given the whole murder game and all.

Well - that's if I'm right. I'm probably not. But it's a fun thought, right?

[gregmarriage]

how does one watch frailty (2002), and not have their entire brain chemistry changed? like, i’m sat here, head in my hands like 😵‍💫🫠🫨

[twistedappletree]

ajdjajsjjKADJAKDJJS

[pepprs]

mission failed we’ll get em next time 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[10-59]

godddd i just know the world is making fun of this country for electing a felon who wants to take away the rights of everyone except white men