#the way i do or wanting things to work out in a way you disagree with so how can i bring out all the parts of me if you don’t make me feel
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Twelve Christmases
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Day 11: 2024
They didn't work on calls together often. Or, at all, really. But today was an exception. Today, Tommy was on the ground and the fire required help from five different stations. It took hours to get it under control, and then they were getting everything cleaned up. Tommy was pretty sure he could get back to Harbor without ever seeing Buck.
However, as that thought crossed his mind, and because the universe had it out for him, he was suddenly face to face with Buck, who was staring at him with his mouth hanging slightly open.
"H- Hi, To-"
“I started going to therapy,” Tommy blurted.
Buck cocked his head to the side. “Y- You did? When?”
“I made an appointment two days after we,” he paused, took a breath, “after I broke up with you.”
“Oh, that's... that's good, Tommy. I mean, I- I guess that's good. That's good, right?”
Tommy nodded. “Yeah, it's good.”
“Well, then. Good.”
There was a few seconds of awkward silence.
Until.
“I've been wanting to text you since we broke up.” Seemed like it was Buck's turn to blurt something out.
“I've been wanting to text you too.”
“Yeah, the bubbles.”
Tommy's eyebrows furrowed. “The bubbles?”
Buck shook his head. “Nothing. It's... nothing. I just feel like we left a lot of things unsaid. Most things were left unsaid, actually. I'd like to change that. I'd like to try to change that.”
Tommy pursed his lips, trying to maintain his composure. It was getting more difficult by the second though, so he let go. “Buck, I'm a disaster,” he admitted, shoulders slumping. “I mean a huge, giant, massive disaster. There's been- There's so much that I...” his voice trailed off as he tried to find the right words. “It's years, and years, and years of traumas that built up, and I just kinda pushed them away and built a wall between me and all of that so that I could appear to be...”
“Comfortable?” Buck suggested.
Tommy smiled sadly. “Yeah.”
“I get that,” Buck replied. “It wasn't like I was really my best self either. I- I think I never let myself see past your wall. I knew there had to be more there, and I ignored it because you seemed so confident all the time and I kind of, maybe, took advantage of that.”
“No,” Tommy disagreed, stepping closer to Buck. “I never let you see beyond the wall, because the second it tore down I knew that it would just be this huge mess pouring out all over you and you don't deserve that, Buck. You deserve someone who actually has it together.”
“Tommy, what makes you think I have it together? I don't know what I'm doing. I think that's pretty obvious from the last time we spoke. I kinda made a fool out of myself.”
“Buck, it wasn't you,” Tommy tried to explain. “I decided from the start that I'd let you set the pace, and that was my mistake. I didn't realize your pace would feel like warp speed to me, and I would spend every day just trying to catch up. That's not fair to either of us.”
“Well i- it's not your fault that I'm so impulsive that I jumped over at least three steps when I asked you to move in with me and I just expected you to jump too. That wasn't fair either.”
Tommy took a deep breath, smiling slightly. “Sounds like I'm not the only one who's been going to therapy."
Buck laughed, rolling his eyes. “Every Tuesday, 4pm.”
“I'm Thursday's at five.”
Buck opened his mouth to speak when a voice came over the radio. “Leaving in five, Buck,” Bobby said. “Gotta head back.”
“Be there in a minute, Boss,” Buck replied.
He looked back up at Tommy. “I'd really, uh, like to talk to you, Tommy. Wh- When we're not in the middle of a shift. I'd, um, I'd like to get to know you. All of you.”
Tommy felt vulnerable. Exposed in a way he hadn't ever let himself feel before, and he and Buck hadn't even really said much. “I'm still trying to get to know myself."
“That's okay. I realized a few years back that that never really stops. I'd still like to talk. I think we both need that.”
“Yeah,” Tommy agreed. “Yeah, I'd like to get to know you too. All of you.”
“Okay. Good, um, j- just text me, okay? Whenever. I'll... I'll be here.”
“I will,” Tommy assured him, then added with a smirk. “I won't just bubble you.”
Buck smiled. “Ah, so you did know what I was saying?”
“Of course. I saw your bubbles too.”
Then Buck was clearing the rest of the space between them, wrapping his arms around Tommy in a hug. “Merry Christmas, Tommy,” he whispered, face practically buried in Tommy's neck.
Once Tommy's brain caught up to what was happening, he returned the hug, holding Buck tight.
“Merry Christmas, Evan.”
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Okay, let's unpack this response here
TL;DR: 'weak and surface' level is exactly how I would describe prevs "obliteration". I'm not convinced THEY read the books. Or maybe they're just another TERF, considering that's how it reads. I completely disagree with Harry naming his kid after Snape. The ONLY explanation I can think for it is that JKR has no idea what love is (which is also cannon, as far as I'm concerned)
First: idk what book this person read, but Snape's obsession with Lily was creepy to the extreme. That their friendship started by him all but stalking her and Petunia should have been red flag #1. I mean, sure, he was a traumatized kid without friends, but that doesn't absolve him of his continued obsession. He literally stood outside the Gryffindor common room, refusing to leave, until she came out to talk.
And yeah, he did switch sides out of guilt. But he canonically didn't give a damn about Harry. If he was actually trying to protect the kid, he would have done more than bully and abuse (occlumency lessons anyone?) the kid. Teaching at Hogwarts was never about redemption. It was about staying out of Azkaban. (And Dumbledore's manipulation, but he's a whole 'nother can of worms)
Second: the books actually say that Snape was 'up to his nose in the dark arts'. He was an active participant. He didn't just 'hang out' with to-be-DE, he WAS one. He joined up of his own free will. He became Voldemort's RIGHT HAND. He didn't regret calling someone a mudbl***. He regretted that it was Lily.
And Snape CANONICALLY attacked the marauders just as much as they went after him. Just because they went after him first in that ONE memory, doesn't mean he didn't instigate too.
And let's talk about the werewolf incident for a minute because i am sick and tired of Snape Apologists using this as an excuse. That was NOT planned. That was a lapse of judgement on Sirius' part alone (yeah, fucked to hell and he is fully responsible for that). At the same time though, NO ONE MADE HIM GO. Snape was given a vague instruction and he was so focused on 'getting back' at the marauders that he put HIMSELF in danger. That is just as much on him as it is on Sirius.
Then the sexual assault? This is another common thing I see and it took me forever to figure out what it was even referring to. The pantsing? You cannot tell me he was the only one that happened to. If the levitating spell was really as popular as it's stated, this incident wasn't special. I'm willing to bet Snape did it to others too.
Third: Lupin not taking the wolfsbane. Yes, serious lapse in judgement. He also just saw Peter and Sirius on the map. The argument of it being criminal and a ticking time bomb is honestly werewolf prejudice and exactly why Remus has such a hard time finding a job in the first place. Way to go. You've discovered discrimination.
Fourth: Get McGonagall's name out of your fucking mouth. She is CANONICALLY shown NOT showing prejudice and treating EVERYONE by the same standards. And, did you forget that 'Moody' here was actually a death eater in disguise? No duh he's using cruel and unusual punishments??? Full of abusive teachers my ass.
Fifth: What do you mean the kids weren't scared for life? I do believe those CHILDREN will carry that trauma with them for the rest of their lives. Saying that it didn't break them is cruel and completely dismisses the VERY REAL pain and suffering that they went through. They are real heroes because they OVERCAME their trials. Not all of us out here in the real world are so lucky.
Lastly: yes, comparing CHILDREN who DID see the error of their ways to an ADULT who had to be CONNED into doing the right thing is laughable.
And saying Regulus accomplished nothing? Disgraceful. Of course it took a catalyst for him to change his ways thats how redemption arcs work.
If you made it this far, I hope you have a good day. Believe whatever you want, obvy I'm not going to change anyone's opinion. You can't MAKE a person understand. Still, it's nice to rant and remind myself how nice it is that I live in my own little corner of the fandom where I don't have to see this bullshit on my dash
okay, hold my drink *hands u cursed ancient goblet full of mead* i gotta talk my shit for a second.
ive been seeing a lot of severus snape love recently. and this is fine, obviously, y'all can love whomever you want. but. i need to rant or i will explode. if we're talking about canon. severus snape spends his adult years, seven books of it in fact, abusing children. and his excuse for this is the girl he loved (tho not enough not to join a group actively trying to exterminate her) fell for the hot jock instead of him (a tragedy indeed, i weep 4 him, i really do). and also she died, which, admittedly is very sad.
it is simply crazy 2 me 2 look at that and think *romance* or *genuine care and affection*. LIKE. fo real. snape calls her a slur in public, apologizes in private, hangs out with dudes who commit hate crimes against her friends (CANONICALLY, she says "you've been hanging out with that douchebag Mulciber, how could you do that after what he did to Mary???" this is not a direct quote but like, it's close enough). lame. loser behaviour.
"Oh but what about regulus" i can hear you say "he loves James potter but snape doesn't love lily???" well. idk. maybe. bit different tho, innit? due to james not being the demographic regulus is attacking (which doesn't make regulus a better person but does make the dynamic between him and james different). ALSO. Regulus chooses to turn against voldemort without hope for anything in return. snape doesn't seem to give a shit about voldemort, he's just sad he's not gonna get to bang lily evans. he switches sides for that reason alone. also doesn't care about what happens to her husband or her son which like. considering lily would be pretty fucking destroyed if they died. once again points to my whole, he doesn't really give a shit about her, theory. lame. loser. behaviour.
also. im sorry. I"M SORRY. but what snape does to neville? to hermione? to harry? gross. a grown ass man out here telling an eleven year old neville he's worthless or hermione she's ugly and annoying. or spilling harry's potion and refusing to grade him for it???????????????
reg and draco are children when we see them at peak suckage and therefore they feel like they can be redeemed much more compellingly (CAN be, not SHOULD be, not HAVE to be, just narratively i think they are easier to turn into interesting, sympathetic characters). but snape? snape grows up into a garbage adult. like he doesn't get better. and again, the only real excuse we're given is his obsession with lily. not very demure. not very cutesy.
ALSO. yall remember that time he got a destitute, struggling Remus Lupin fired from the best job he ever had just because he felt like it? remember that time snape weaponized Remus's lycanthropy and people's prejudice against him just cause. like. literally just cause??? his ego was bruised after the shrieking shack incident so he was like "get wrecked Lupin I'm going to tell everyone your secret so you will be forced back out onto the streets" DO YALL REMEMBER THAT BITCH ASS MOVE????????? THAT HE DID AS A FULL ADULT.
IN CONCLUSION, this is silly and, of course, like i said at the start, everyone can have their own thoughts and feelings about characters, but i simply needed to interject here on behalf of snape haters everywhere because i feel like so much of snape's shitty behaviour as an adult during a time when he was really under no duress and was very safe and cozy, is ignored. and my hater heart just cannot let that stand.
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see the lights, and hang the stockings
Eddie finds out that Buck has never ever had a Christmas stocking of his own. He's very determined to change that and share a few Diaz family traditions.
ao3 link
for week three of @winterofbuddie - holiday history.
Eddie knew he was inclined to go a little overboard at Christmastime. It was his favourite holiday, and he’d inadvertently (and very happily, might he add) made it Christopher’s favourite holiday too, their house always filled to the brim with decorations, Christmas music playing on a loop as soon as Thanksgiving was over, and he and Christopher agreed it was socially acceptable to dive right into the Christmas of it all.
Eddie loved Christmas, was the point, and even now, when Christopher was a relatively grumpy teenager, so did his son, Christopher happy to spend one of his precious Saturday evenings decorating the tree with Eddie, and Buck, instead of hanging out with his friends.
Well, to a point.
They’d gotten the tree decorated before Christopher had sneaked off to his bedroom, the chatter of his teenager calling his friends comforting background noise as he and Buck carried on the decorating duties. There had been a time where Eddie had worried he’d never have a house filled with the noise of Christopher simply living his life again, and so he was grateful for it - even when he’d hear Christopher up chatting far too late, his bedtime long past.
Eddie only got to have his kid be a kid for so long, and he’d lived through a dark few months where he hadn’t gotten to have his son around at all - so, he could be forgiven for being a little lenient with him sometimes.
“Mulled wine,” Buck hummed by way of explanation, pressing a mug into Eddie’s waiting hands. Eddie liked getting to do this, decorate, with Buck. Buck was his best friend in the whole world, and Eddie had done enough work unpicking a lifetime of repression to know that his feelings for Buck went a bit further than solely platonic, but even putting the whole, being in love with him, thing aside, Eddie just loved to spend time with the other man.
“Thank you,” Eddie hummed, inhaling the comforting smell of spices, the aroma of mulled wine sinking into every inch of Eddie’s house. Christmas baking would join the party soon, he knew, because Buck was determined to make all of their nearest and dearest cookie boxes this year, like he’d seen on TikTok, and Eddie knew that his kitchen would be the stage of choice when Buck committed to executing his twelve-point plan for perfecting cookie gifts.
“I think it needs more cardamon,” Buck admitted, a tiny frown furrowing the space between his eyebrows. Eddie sort of always wanted to kiss it.
“It’s perfect,” Eddie disagreed, taking another sip of his drink. “You make the best mulled wine.”
An adorable flush appeared on Buck’s cheeks. Just another thing Eddie wanted to kiss. “You’re an unreliable reviewer,” he shook his head. “You like everything I make. I can never tell what’s really good, and what’s just okay, because you tell me everything is good.”
Eddie grinned, setting his mug on the fireplace. “That’s because I think everything is good,” he shrugged. It wasn’t a lie. Buck was a fantastic cook, and a great baker, and Eddie’s house was ground zero for many delicious experiments - the cheesy, twisty garlic bread Buck had made for their Italian themed family dinner had been a recent highlight. Buck’s sourdough starter even lived in Eddie’s fridge, not his own, for crying out loud.
Pressing play on his carefully curated Christmas playlist, the sound of Wham! and Last Christmas filling the living room, Eddie passed Buck a snowglobe, his best friend indulging and setting it down on the coffee table, where it always lived. It was a cheap, silly thing that Eddie had bought the first Christmas he’d been out of the army, from the Dollar General, but it held so much sentimental memory now, Eddie didn’t have the heart to throw it out. Buck had bought them a beautiful snowglobe a few years previously, from a small business based on the Northern Californian coast, and that was pride of place on the fireplace, but the cheap one still had a home - different eras of Eddie’s life all coming together here, in LA, in the first place he’d really chosen for himself.
“I love your decorations,” Buck hummed, careful fingers tracing the lettering on one of the tree decorations - it was an imprint of Christopher’s tiny baby hand, the black writing announcing to the world that it had been his very first Christmas. “They all have so much meaning.”
Eddie hummed. “You know me,” he joked. “I’m a sentimental old fool.”
“No - it’s good. Great, even,” Buck paused, for a minute. “My parents' Christmas tree had a colour scheme, growing up. There were no sentimental ornaments - only these picture perfect gold and red baubles. I broke one - I think I was seven, or eight - and my mom yelled at me for so long that it made me cry. She said they didn’t make the ornaments anymore, so she’d have to change them all now, because of me. I didn’t think she had meant it, but the next year, she’d thrown out all the red and gold, and we had green and silver.”
Eddie knew that Buck had grown up with emotionally neglectful parents, but sometimes, in moments like this, when Buck made an admission about the reality of his childhood, it really struck him how bad it must have been for Buck, growing up - how lonely, and sad, he must have been. It was amazing, really, how Buck turned out to be so kind, and wonderful, given the house he grew up in. How Buck was still Buck, despite everything he’d been through. “Buck, I…”
“I’m sorry,” Buck shrugged it off, like he always did. Buck never wanted to burden other people, and sometimes it made Eddie want to yell, and scream - it made him want to beg Buck to burden him with every thought and feeling he had. Eddie wanted to be there for him - he wanted to know what Buck had for breakfast every morning, and what he thought came in the afterlife, and everything in between. “I don’t know why I said that. Tonight’s meant to be happy, and here I am, making it all about me.”
read the rest on ao3
#911 abc#911#eddie diaz#evan buckley#buddie#in which i ramble#in which lorna writes fic#winterofbuddie#eddie fixing bucks childhood is something that is so personal to me
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One of the problems I had with the online radicalization of Jalil in reunion is how it actually occurs. Jalil is supposedly radicalized by a message board, but it’s provided by alliance and the AI mascot he uses is Lila. So it’s left muddled on what exactly is happening here.
Is there really an internet based opposition to LB and CN? You wouldn’t think it since Paris enlarge is shown to still support them. But the presence of message boards would imply at least some support for monarch even if it’s mostly trolls. Or is alliance fabricating it for Gabriel to upset people in a targeted way? Or is it just Lila with a bunch of alt accounts? It’s really hard for me to tell just how wide spread this is as a problem for Paris considering it’s dropped after this one episode.
I'm also not sure how seriously we're supposed to take the criticism shown in that episode. It feels very much like the sort of BS we get with Su-Han where he points out a legitimate concern but in the most obnoxious, inflammatory way possible so that the audience feels forced to disagree with him. It's terrible writing that isn't very fun to watch. Reminds me of all the awful live-action Disney reboots that try to engage with every critical take anyone has ever had, leading to a lesser story. They would be much better off to just ignore the criticism they don't want to properly address and have fun with the story even if there's an arguable flaw. That's what suspension of disbelief is all about!
You want Paris to support Ladybug and Chat Noir no matter what they do? Cool! That works! Just don't take an episode and introduce the idea that there is actually criticism out there because that makes us start to question things like anon is doing here.
Another great example is the "issue" that Gabriel never uses the butterfly miraculous to heal his wife when it feels like that should be within its power. The show was totally correct to never address that on screen because the butterfly probably should be able to heal her! The reason it can't is because then the show would end. If the writers tried to explain an in-universe reason, then it would be as nonsensical as their explanation of how the rooster works:
Gabriel: There! (to Orikko) You! You can grant me any power I want! (closes the Grimoire and walks toward Orikko) You will give me the power to travel through time! Orikko: No, you're mistaken! Time travel is Fluff's power and I can't grant the power that already belongs to another Kwami! Gabriel: Are you trying to deceive me?? Orikko: (nods) By all means! Read the Grimoire again! (Gabriel reopens the Grimoire.) Sass: Each Kwami represents a concept, and a concept can only exist once in the universe. Xuppu: Too complicated, Sass! Let's use an example to make things simpler. Take Tikki, she is the Kwami of Creation, and creation is creation, and if there's another creation than creation, then it's not "creation", it's "replication"! Gabriel: Then grant me the power to locate Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous! Orikko: Trouble is, that's not a power; that's a wish! Xuppu: For instance, if I asked Santa for a pair of socks, that's a wish. But if I want Santa to grant me the power to knit socks, then it means Santa needs to know how to knit socks in the first place so he can teach me! Gabriel: (groans angrily) Grant me the power to unmask Ladybug and Cat Noir's secret identities! Xuppu: No can do! Orikko: (shoves Xuppu away) I cannot give a power that would disrupt another Kwami's magic. And being able to conceal the person behind the costume, well, that's part of the magic of their Kwami. Gabriel: (enraged) So you're utterly useless!
If all of this is true, then how do the goat and the peacock make things? Isn't that Creation? And how was the butterfly able to make a time travel villain? That's Fluff's power! And how was Gabriel able to offer to make Marinette into a villain who could unmask people via the butterfly? That's going against the miraculous' powers!
The answer is simply that the lore was not thought out in a way that stands up to even the most basic questions. When that's the case, the only way to handle the problem is to just ignore it. Keep your on screen explanations as shallow as your lore. Don't try to add depth that isn't there. Trying to address it just highlights how shitty your world building is.
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A Proper Celebration. - Levi x Reader
Summary: Levi's first proper birthday with his first love.
Warnings: Brief mentions of prostitution, Fem reader, not proofread! (Lmk if I missed anything).
A/N: Nothing like getting motivation to write again at 11:42 PM! Scheduling this to post exactly at 12:00 December 25! Happy Holidays everyone! (And happy birthday to my bbg)
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Levi had never cared for Christmas, or rather, his birthday. Being from the underground meant there were no such things as a "proper" celebration. Unless, you wanted to draw more attention to yourself.
Of course, his mother still made an effort to celebrate her baby boy's birthdate. Always trying to make it as special as possible. Sure, maybe a little bit of bread and a small gift might not seem much to the average person. To him however, it was everything. It showed his mother's love and persistence to make him feel special on his special day. Even if that day was usually followed by his mother coming home late or bringing men over to pay debts she made for his birthdate.
After his mother passed and he was taken in by Kenny, birthdays and holidays weren't exactly a priority. Instead of celebration, his days were filled with excessive combat training or stealing. Anything but a proper celebration really.
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So naturally, Levi was caught off guard when he was awoken by his love shuffling around his office carrying a tray of food. "Oh! I'm sorry Levi! Did I wake you? I just wanted to surprise you since it's your birthday after all.. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas by the way!"
She smiled softly and set the tray down on his desk before frowning a little and massaging his shoulders and neck. "Didn't I tell you to stop sleeping on your desk? You're gonna end up with a sore neck if you continue that."
Levi relaxed into the massage, staring at the food in front of him. A bowl of steaming hot soup paired with a few pieces of bread and hot tea.
"I didn't know they were serving soup today? Eyebrows said we were getting served something else."
"That's because I made it silly! I woke up early to make it for you so you better enjoy it!" She giggled softly.
Levi blushed faintly at the thought of her putting in so much effort just for him.
"Thank you, brat." "Anytime Levi!"
The following hours were both torture yet heaven, he would find gifts around his office all from her, growing more and more adorable and endearing with each passing hour.
He found a new painted tea cup set, chuckling to himself as he saw your "artistic" talent on the cups. He set them aside. Refusing to use them as to not damage them. They were from you after all, they need to be cherished and protected like you.
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In the afternoon, he spent his time in his office signing and reading paperwork even though Erwin gave him a rare day off as it was the Captain's special day.
She burst into the room smiling.
"Heyy Leviiii!!! Can I hangout here for a while?" "Do I have a choice?" "Nope!"
She sat on his desk, raising an eyebrow whilst staring at his work.
"Is Erwin making you work on your birthday? I could've sworn I asked him to give you a day off.."
Levi shakes his head, trying to avoid cracking even a small smile.
"Yes Y/N. He gave me today off. I just chose to complete this sooner rather than later." He said, mentally chuckling at the pout his love gave him.
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"But today's your birthday and it's Christmas Levi! You shouldn't be working..." She stares off into space for a moment. An idea popping into her head. "I should be spending time with you! Put something winter-appropriate on and I'll meet you outside of the bakery we always go to!" She said enthusiastically before running out, not even giving Levi the chance to agree or disagree. As if he'd ever say no to her.
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And that's how Levi ended up inside this lovely bakery. Next to him? His darling love excitedly scanning all the pastries and bread in the store.
"Come on Levi! Pick something out!! There is so much cool and yummy stuff here!!" She eagerly gasps as she looks around the beautifully decorated bakery.
"You seem more eager than me, why don't you pick something out? And I'll pay for it." He suggested, looking around the bakery as well.
Y/N gasps at his suggestion, as if she's offended. "Nooo! It's your birthday! You should pick. And I'll pay for it! You shouldn't be buying your own birthday present."
Levi cracked a slight smile at her protests, before returning to his normal dead face.
"Alright, alright. I'll pick something out. Only because you keep persisting."
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The pair spent the rest of the day looking around the town, occasionally entering a shop to buy something. Both of them went back to the base, hand in hand. Levi carrying the heavy presents while Y/N carried the smaller, lighter, presents.
They sit in front of a roaring fireplace, tea and a shared pasty in front of them. Her head on his shoulder. His hand gripping her waist softly, pulling her close to his warmth.
"I hope you had fun today, Levi. Even though we did nothing too special. I still hope you enjoyed yourself."
"I did, thank you. For everything. For celebrating my birthday and spending time with me. For putting up with my nonsense all this time."
He hesitates to continue, but decided against it.
"And.. thank you, for loving me. Just as much as I love and adore you."
He admits, waiting for her reply. Looking at the fireplace.
His world briefly comes crashing down as he's met with no response. That's it! He took a leap of faith and he instead fell-
Levi hears a few small snores coming from the girl resting her head on his shoulder, body relaxed and asleep. He smiles ever so slightly and kisses the top of her head.
Yeah, Levi would go through hell and back, He would go through all of the shit life has planned for him, as long as it meant that he would be able to spend his god-forsaken life with you. As long as he'd be able to experience nights like this, with you.
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#levi ackerman#levi x reader#levi x you#levi aot#levi fluff#levi attack on titan#attack on titan#i need him#birthday#captain levi#levi ackerman x reader#aot fluff#fluff
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gonna ramble about charlie and auron because i just got out the premiere and. holy shit.
if I'm way off base on my analysis i am so sorry, im still processing, these are just my initial thoughts on stuff. and if you disagree id love to discuss it!
okay so first things first i screamed a LOT. I was so relieved when Charlie said he wasn't mad at Cas [i would've cried probably]. Auron made some truly wild comments. case in point: "I would probably slap the taste out of your mouth if it wouldn't mean getting you all hot and bothered just in time for Casper to drop me off at the office, pull into the parking garage, and fuck some goddamn sense into you." I YELLED OMFG auron. you can't just SAY shit like that. Then the Disney princess line. Charlie sounded so weak when he said "can we go back to that part about 'Casper fucking some sense into me'??" And Auron answering with "Not until I'm outside of the vehicle. You'll have to find someone else to watch." AURON. STOP PLEASE IM GONNA HAVE A HEART ATTACK FROM LAUGHING
alright moving on from that let's get to the serious shit. Charlie is justified to be angry about Auron interfering in his personal life; it ISN'T a healthy way to interact with people, whether you want to befriend them or not. Auron orchestrated this whole scheme because he doesn't know how to communicate his feelings, and you know what? I get it. He doesn't know what normal is, and it's not really his fault that he doesn't know. But he can at least try? Wikihow is free, brother /lh
Charlie wanted a fresh start. He wanted to disconnect from the dangerous world that Auron is a participant in, he wanted to earn his own way in the world, earn a bit of self damn respect like he deserves. Auron undermined all that, despite his good intentions. He lied, big time. And that's kinda shitty and not okay!
Was it about control? Keeping a hand on loose ends, like Charlie thinks? Auron just wanted to "protect him", right? Well, as someone who has had much of their life controlled by people who ALSO just wanted to "protect" me, that's a very weak excuse for taking away someone's agency. Now, our situations aren't exactly the same. Auron is not Charlie's parents [THANK GOD] and there actually some things Charlie isn't aware of that he needs to be protected from! But this was not the move. Like.. at all.
What's my solution? I dunno. But maybe don't force all these things to happen. Perhaps send an email rather than getting your guy to hunt down your former employee's childhood friend/crush and sneakily reunite them behind his back? Or at least try the email first, Auron. Charlie calling Auron out on playing pretend, "just writing one of your little stories"... ouch. But does he kinda deserve that? Yeah. I think so.
[Side note: Charlie talking about how if he'd sought out Cas on his own terms, it would've worked out because they fall in love every time? "Because that's where I'm supposed to be." I. fucking. fell over. I had to fucking BITE something omg. Yeah im biased in this argument sorry lol, i definitely have a favorite here]
HOWEVER: Auron admits that he was wrong! He is not an unrepentant man and he DIDN'T double down! That is a big point in his favor imo. He doesn't actually say "sorry" but he uses a lot more words to mean something... similar? I guess that's a fanfic writer's way. I get it, I also elaborate way too much. So, an actual clear cut "Charlie, I'm sorry I fucked with your life behind your back just because I wanted to be friends with you" would've been nice. But this will do for now.
Also Charlie you REALLY need to watch out for Finn that guy is a freakkkkk he will fuck you up big time. Not normal Finn. The magic one.
Okay I'm done typing whatever pops into my head with the barest pretense at organization lmao, I'll revisit this in time once my thoughts marinate a little more
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Robin had been hanging around all morning, watching as Steve wrote out his final cards for the kids and added toys into the music tin with them. “So is this the last day they’re getting treats from you? Or have you got some Christmas gifts on top of everything else you’ve given them this month?” She asked.
“This is the last thing I’m giving them. Christmas day is for family, anyway. Not like they’re going to want to come see me tomorrow.” He muttered, glancing over just in time to see her face scrunch a bit like she disagreed with that statement.
“And that’s why you’re set up as if there’s a party expected?” She pointed at the snacks that had been put out just before Steve filled the music box.
He barely looked at them. “You’ve seen those shitheads, right? They act like any trip to my house is a party.”
She tilted her head in a half nod, accepting the reasoning just as they heard a vehicle pull up outside. “And I bet that’s them having badgered Eddie to bring them all.”
“Nope, Erica has a friends Christmas party today. I think Lucas will be taking hers.” Steve corrected, sealing the music box and leaving it on a side table as he went to open the door.
“The Nerd said we’re celebrating here first today, but you better have ice cream and be ready to take me to Tina’s.” Erica greeted, walking past him immediately.
Everyone else filed in behind her, Eddie laughing a little at her words.
Steve called after her, “If I must, I must, but why can’t Eddie? Am I expected to let these guys run wild while I’m out?”
“Ice cream, Harrington! I want some now.” She demanded, ignoring the question.
“Not a waiter, try the kitchen.” He rolled his eyes, heading back to Robin, “Do I need to decide which of you opens the final day I’m doing that this year, or have you already decided?” He pointed at the music box and the kids all glanced to each other.
Lucas eventually stepped over to it, huffing towards the kitchen, “Erica had insisted she would but if all she wants now is ice cream, I’ll do it.”
“Doesn’t being Scoops Troop mean I get to when she doesn’t?” Dustin protested but didn’t move to stop him, “I swear that should overrule siblings.”
“It doesn’t. Platonic soulmates would, but that’s me and Steve, not you brats.” Robin said.
By this time Lucas had opened the tin and was passing out envelopes to everyone, leaving the reindeer toys inside it for the moment.
Max held hers up smirking, “Couldn’t stop yourself from giving us envelopes again, could you? How expensive can we make these?”
“Not very, but I’m sure you’ll find a way to make them annoying to fill anyway.” Steve matched her smirk, waiting for the rest to all open their envelopes before coughing, “And the rest, Lucas?”
Lucas nodded, turning back to get the reindeers out, “Can I cash my movie night now? You did bring some other Christmas movies home yesterday, right?” He asked, gesturing with his envelope as he handed the toys around to each of his friends.
“Sure, but I thought you guys would like some races first.” Steve shrugged at the suggestion, smirk widening at the groans that broke out.
El tilted her head, looking at her friends, “Why are races bad?”
“He’s trying to make us exercise again, El. This isn’t meant to be a work out.” Mike complained.
“But the reindeer can wind up, don’t they move like those toys you showed me before?” She asked Max now.
Narrowed eyes turned on Steve from Will and Mike, “You meant race the toys? Or are you talking about running?”
“The reindeer, but thanks for repeating your disdain for exercise you already do. Is cycling everywhere unless Eddie or I agree to give you a lift not exercise to you?” Steve quipped, pulling a large page he’d drawn a race line on over. El, Lucas and Max setting their reindeer down on it almost as soon as it was settled on the floor.
The other boys looked like they were trying to argue but didn’t have any response even after Erica came back through, a bowl of ice cream in hand. “Really is a party this time, dorky games and all. Where’s mine?” She asked, soon taking her movie night voucher and reindeer toy from where Lucas had set them beside the music tin.
Steve hadn’t been sure how the kids would like the music tin when he first added sweets into it, but it really had made his Christmas time a lot less lonely than he’d thought it might be. He loved these kids, and loved getting them to hang out with him a bit more often.
The Advent Music Box
Author's note: Doing this on a whim and the fact work gave me the music box inspiring this
Summary: Steve is sent a care package from his parents at the start of December
/\
It started with a music box.
Steve’s parents had sent him a care package that arrived on the first of December and in it was some snacks, a few items clearly intended as Christmas presents and the music box.
There was a sticker on it saying there were cookies inside it too but he took most of the morning to figure out that instead of taking a lid off like most tins needed, he had to remove the bottom of the music box.
That was what gave him the idea to fill it and challenge the kids to get the treats from inside. Since they didn’t actually go to his house very often he took it into Family Video, sure at least one of the kids would turn up sooner or later.
Perhaps he could even swing seeing them every day if he said he’d fill it with at least something small for them each day.
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I just listened to a couple songs from current female artists who... all sound the same. Like they've all got that one particular kind of breathy pretty flawless voice. The way 90% of female singers seem to sound nowadays. It drives me bonkers. The only good thing about it is that it makes me feel like, "well, I may not have a very professionally-trained-sounding voice, but thank god I don't sound like THEM at least".
#there are a lot of specific things about my singing voice that i would like to work on#but i definitely don't ever want to lose my scratchy twangy messy scrappy sound#i fucking love that i don't sound like every other female singer out there and i don't ever want that 'trained out of me'#don't mind my bitching#i'm just resentful that the potential variety of female voices is so limited in popular music#meanwhile the men are out there with all these unique fantastic sounds and doing very well for themselves#tom waits; neil young; bob dylan; willie nelson; herbert grönemeyer; udo lindenberg; axl rose; joe strummer; etc.#you could argue that any of these guys don't sound 'pretty' (i would personally disagree. but i could understand the argument)#but each of them has a fucking fantastic voice AND they sound like THEMSELVES! you can't mistake those voices for anyone else!#ugh ugh ugh ugh i want there to be more expressive weird-sounding variation in women's voices#why are we all supposed to sound 'pretty' - and not just pretty but pretty in the EXACT SAME WAY?!?#drives me up the fckn wall. i swear to god sexism is SO ubiquitous#cosmo gyres#tag rant#about music#my music
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examining a seemingly normal image only to slowly realize the clear signs of AI generated art.... i know what you are... you cannot hide your true nature from me... go back where you came from... out of my sight with haste, wretched and vile husk
#BEGONE!!! *wizard beam blast leaving a black smoking crater in the middle of the tumblr dashboard*#I think another downside to everyone doing everything on phone apps on shitty tiny screens nowadays is the inability to really see details#of an image and thus its easier to share BLATANTLY fake things like.. even 'good' ai art has pretty obvious tells at this point#but especially MOST of it is not even 'good' and will have details that are clearly off or lines that dont make sense/uneven (like the imag#of a house interior and in the corner there's a cabinet and it has handles as if it has doors that open but there#are no actual doors visible. or both handles are slightly different shapes. So much stuff that looks 'normal' at first glance#but then you can clearly tell it's just added details with no intention or thought behind it. a pattern that starts and then just abruptly#doesn't go anywhere. etc. etc. )#the same thing with how YEARS ago when I followed more fashion type blogs on tumblr and 'colored hair' was a cool ''''New Thing''' instead#of being the norm now basically. and people would share photos of like ombre hair designs and stuff that were CLEARLY photoshop like#you could LITERally see the coloring outside of the lines. blurs of color that extend past the hair line to the rest of the image#or etc. But people would just share them regardless and comment like 'omg i wish I could do this to my hair!' or 'hair goallzzzz!! i#wonder what salon they went to !!' which would make me want to scream and correct them everytime ( i did not lol)#hhhhhhggh... literally view the image on anything close to a full sized screen and You Will SEe#I don't know why it's such a pet peeve of mine. I think just as always I'm obsessed with the reality and truth of things. most of the thing#that annoy me most about people are situations in which people are misinterpreting/misunderstanding how something works or having a misconc#eption about somehting thats easily provable as false or etc. etc. Even if it's harmless for some random woman on facebook to believe that#this AI generated image of a cat shaped coffee machine is actually a real product she could buy somewhere ... I still urgently#wish I could be like 'IT IS ALL AN ILLUSION. YOU SEE???? ITS NOT REALL!!!!! AAAAA' hjhjnj#Like those AI shoes that went around for a while with 1000000s of comments like 'omg LOVE these where can i get them!?' and it's like YOU#CANT!!! YOU CANT GET THEM!!! THEY DONT EXIST!!! THE EYELETS DONT EVEN LINE UP THE SHOES DONT EVEN#MATCH THE PATTERNS ARE GIBBERISH!! HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THEY ARE NOT REAL!??!!' *sobbing in the rain like in some drama movie*#Sorry I'm a pedantic hater who loves truth and accuracy of interpretation and collecting information lol#I think moreso the lacking of context? Like for example I find the enneagram interesting but I nearly ALWAYS preface any talking about it#with ''and I know this is not scientifically accurate it's just an interesting system humans invented to classify ourselve and our traits#and I find it sociologically fascinating the same way I find religion fascinating'. If someone presented personality typing information wit#out that sort of context or was purporting that enneagram types are like 100% solid scientific truth and people should be classified by the#unquestionaingly in daily life or something then.. yeah fuck that. If these images had like disclaimers BIG in the image description somewh#re like 'this is not a real thing it's just an AI generated image I made up' then fine. I still largely disagree with the ethics behind AI#art but at least it's informed. It's the fact that people just post images w/o context or beleive a falsehood about it.. then its aAAAAAA
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being super normal about White calling Billy "a dreamer"after the events of Maybe No Go
#truly alarming amount of tags on this post don't click read more fr#the venture bros#pete white#bily quizboy#billy whalen#idk man the way they balance each other is really interesting#the things they agree on and disagree on are almost arbitrary#'you can't put mouthwash in a cookie' 'trust me' vs 'we should spend 10 mil on a motorcycle instead of housing' 'that's such a cool idea'#billy trying to pep white up about the ball#'this was your dream too' like come on dude when have pete's dreams ever worked out#when have yours#'what are we gonna do now billy?' 'we'll cross that bridge when we come to it'#baby the bridge has never been more present#ALSO white calling billy the dreamer when HE'S the one who pushes so hard for things#billy has dreams that might not be realistic but they give him hope and he works around the way the world works to make things happen#like being a self-taught surgeon and believing in a magic ball#pete has dreams IN SPITE of what is realistic and he will mold reality to be what he wants in order to make it happen#like fixing the quizshow and pretty much everything that happened in invisible hand of fate#and they both have disabilities that affect them in vastly different ways and impact their relationship with realistic goals#like billy's hydrocephalus being presented to the audience as mostly a social issue for him and the hand and eye being marks of trauma#rather than like an actual block for him beyond needing to tune the hand up every now and then#vs white's albinism making him physically unable to be in direct sunlight and making him actively fearful of doing certain things and#being certain places#to be clear i know the actual effects of hydrocephalus as well as the hand and eye but this is based on how the show presents it#like billy took these things about himself into account and went ok these are part of my reality and i will work with them#and pete took his reality and went ok i will cover it up with fake tan and wigs or sunscreen and hats and make reality what i want it to be#and that's what makes them a good team!! that's why they science together well#it's also why they argue so much#accepting reality and playing within its constraints vs hating reality and changing it to suit you#these are the hallmarks of scientific progress
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alhaitham analysis
When you first meet Alhaitham, he comes across as someone that has a negative EQ. He's curt, rude, and critical. And yet the truth is surprising? Like looking at his character quest and how he basically emotionally manipulated the whole hive into revolting, this man is very emotionally intelligent. You can honestly see it in a lot of his lines too. When he speaks about people, yes, he may sound like he's simplifying or trivializing things too much, but he's not wrong. He understands people. He knows how they work. It's just that he views emotional labor as too much of a hassle majority of the time.
Spoilers below the cut
You can gather a lot about Alhaitham through Kaveh's character stories. Like while it may not seem like it, Alhaitham is genuinely trying to help Kaveh. He points out to Kaveh that the source of his problems isn't luck, but his sense of impractical idealism and inescapable guilt. Some may say Alhaitham lacked tact when saying this, but it was kindness on Alhaitham's part. Once someone can acknowledge the truth, no matter how hurtful, they can then make the needed changes for the better. When they met up again years later, Alhaitham asked him, "How has realizing your ideals gone for you?" This wasn't done out of a sense of pettiness, but to solidify the truth once more. It was to help.
I think if you don't know someone that operates in this way, Alhaitham's love language may be difficult to decipher. His words may seem cruel. It may seem like he's trivializing your problems. But to speak truth is to show that you're not a lost cause. He has proven he won't abandon you along the way. After all, to speak truth, no matter how hurtful, is to show love.
#genshin impact#alhaitham#character analyses#i was going to reblog someone else's post and reply to it but like...#i got worried i was disagreeing with parts of their post so i decided to make a completely new one haha;;;#i will word this better later#but as someone that functions the same way as alhaitham like...#i've been called cruel and mean#i've been accused of picking fights with people#people that don't know me well think i say things out of malicious intent#i say things because i dislike seeing people suffer and i want them to get better#because usually the source of people's problems are themselves not outside factors#i do want to write a further relationship analysis (aka alhaitham in a relationship) but 3.6 just came out and i wanna play HAHA#so if you're interested please let me know#i say this because when i leave things to sit i lose motivation veeerrryyyy quickly#tl;dr his relationship with kaveh proves that he would not work with just anyone haha#he won't change just because he loves you
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bestie how the fuck do you start writing again when you haven't written in years bc you're so paralyzed with Fear of Writing Badly mixed with How Do I Get Started and also WHAT do I write about HELP
I WANT to write but every part of it is. so. DAUNTING
Ohhh bestie I have BEEN there. Whenever I take breaks from writing I find myself scared that I'll have just….forgotten to write?? I think the fear of "bad writing" is amplified when you don't write for a while, however long, because you have to like hype yourself up to go back to writing and it's like what if I do all that and then I just can't do it? Returning to writing, especially after a long time, for me has taken a lot of mental work, trying to understand what will make writing fun and healthy for me. A lot of it, honestly, is easier said than done, but also it's mental work you'll keep doing after you start writing again and as you write, and for me it's easier to process my relationship with writing when I am actually writing.
A big part of that mental work for me, and something I think is so valuable, is to reconsider what "bad" writing is and give yourself permission to write it. Sometimes you will think your writing sucks, happens to all of us, but that isn't all it has to be. Like yeah, I'll think something I wrote sucks, but I still wrote it. I can revisit it and work on it and maybe I'll turn it into something I'm happy with. And even if I don't, I still wrote it, I learned from it. Writing does not need to be "good" by whatever standard we're holding it up to for it to have value. And you can delete it! Nobody has to see it! Also you can have fun writing something and still think it's not your best. I've written a lot of "bad" scenes that I had fun with because the scene was entertaining to me! I love when writing turns out how I like it, or I write a banger prose line, but equally I found it helpful to give myself permission to not worry about that all the time and just focus on my interest/enjoyment in what I'm writing, regardless of the "quality". Again, easier said than done, but something I've found easier the more I write, because you'll have bad writing days but you'll also have writing days that are so good
I know a lot of people see writing as a skill that they want to improve, and like I agree it feels really good to see your writing grow, but writing is so much more than the skill and the craft and the theory. There is no objective "perfection" to reach with writing like we are not Sims with levelled skills LOL. Writing is art and creativity and it should be fun and fulfilling. And IMO, the more you focus on what makes writing fun, you will grow and "improve" as a writer a lot quicker and in a way that is a lot more enjoyable than if you treat writing like some icy quest for perfection. You also get to decide what "good" writing is for you/your story. Some of my stories are more prose focused and I'll play more with language, imagery etc. Others are more about the plot and just having fun imagining this scene. Sometimes it's a mix of both. What is "good" writing depends on the writer, story, genre, etc. There is no one way to write.
I'm rambling a lot because I'm just really passionate about this and I cannot express enough how easier writing got, including all the difficult and ugly and frustrating parts, when I gave space to prioritise my enjoyment and fun. People love to romanticise the idea of the "struggling" writer. I see stuff on here and I'm like you guys….writing should be fun. Like yeah sometimes it's hard and we should talk about that but like, you Need to make sure you are having fun. Anyway I'm going to try not to ramble and bullet point some things that helped me:
Make Writing Fun: Lol! Literally whatever makes writing fun. Sometimes I just write super indulgent scenes and the fun of that sets me up to work on my projects. When I work on my projects I try to find what in each scene I'm going to enjoy the most, and focus on that to help me write the rest. I make playlists, moodboards, memes, art etc for my story because it's fun, and it helps me be engaged with my story outside of writing it. Just, have fun.
On productivity: some people will benefit from setting clear goals and running towards them. Some people don't. For me it depends on my headspace. I don't think productivity is a bad thing, it can feel good, but productivity should not be the only reason you write. And the most productive writing process is whichever one makes writing enjoyable for you, because that's how you'll get words on the page
On that note, please be wary of anyone online who who treats the writing advice they share as Fact. I'm not saying every writing teacher out there does...but some of them market it that way! And creators do not have an authority on writing just because they have a platform however big. There are some AMAZING content creators out there who talk about writing, and I have found them motivating, but like just let yourself be picky about who you listen to/engage with. I say this because I consumed some very Strict writing advice when I was younger and it literally contributed to my years long slump so like...I'm picky now LOL
About goals: Personally, gentle goals are what help me get back into writing. Maybe just write for 20 minutes, or write every day for a couple days. When I do word count goals, I base them on how I feel that day, and recently I don't make a word count, I'll transfer it to the next session but smaller. So if I try to write 500 words but can't I'll say okay, lets try 250 next time. Goals can be a great motivator and way to feel achieved, and maybe bigger goals will help you, but you're also allowed to adjust them as you go to make it easier
On finding new ideas, having been there before, you don't need a fully fleshed out idea to start writing. My longest break I came back to writing with...one character and a backstory? If you have stories/characters already you can revisit them, either build on what you have or completely change it. Or if you don't have that, if there's a piece of media you like you can take that concept and play around with it in your own way, or you can even just write fanfic until you have your own idea (if you want your own idea, fanfic is cool too!) You can even just find a cool pic on pinterest and play around with describing it, writing about it, seeing if you can get anything from that. Ideas are everywhere and they can be tiny, and I think if you have that want to write you Will find your story eventually. All writers have had the Idea struggle, but I think the more you engage with writing and think about what concepts and stories interest you already, the more you'll like train yourself to get ideas
That was very long and maybe a lot but like, I am very passionate about this! I've been in writing "slumps" where I didn't know if I would write again, I've started writing again with no ideas, and in those times all I had was the fact I knew I wanted to write. There are a lot of reasons why we end up having long breaks from writing and it is totally normal, sometimes beneficial for us, and we should never give ourselves a hard time for not writing for however long. But also remember that you can always come back. Every one of us has the capacity to create, whatever that looks like, and you can make it as self indulgent and self serving as you want.
#also a bit on the creators and writing advice thing#I dont think every creator out there who does How To Do X.....is treating what they say as fact. and i dont think that's Bad#i think they're just teaching what they think is valuable info#but like...you're allowed to disagree with it#but I've also encountered people with big platforms who will say shit like if you don't do This Thing you WILL fail in some way#just because THEY had that expreience...or will do writing advice marketed like Harsh Truths For Writers!!!#and like yeah you might find something valuable in that but like it's all marketing!!! they want you to click on their post and engage!#again! not always a bad thing it's how the internet works unfortunately! but sometimes it IS kind of shady lol and you can just ignore it#i'm saying this as someone sharing advice right now. you can disagree with any of this lol#some people share writing advice online and that's literally how they make money or they're using that advice to sell their product#again fair i dont think that's inherently bad but i think just. look at this stuff with a critical eye. people have experience that can be#helpful but NOBODY is an authority on writing#cause unfortunately some people Are capitalising on the fact there are vulnerable writers out there looking for help#putting this extension in the tags because its not so much about starting to write again but i think its important#in regards to engaging with writers spaces. that engagement can be so motivating but you have to set barriers LOL
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breakups are so fucking weird. three years and just like that it's gone. huh
#helix.txt#gross i ended up spilling my guts in tags. look at them fucking writhing on the floor all bloody#dont rb please#vent#to quote fall out boy i knew it was over i just didn't know the date#yeah that's it. fall out boy can fix this.#i will feel better if i go listen to bang the doldrums#and infinity on high in general#and folie a deux. folie a fucking deux how i love that album#my chem will make me better. gerard way save me#god what a weird feeling. you used to know me better than any other person but then you moved hundreds of miles away and it worked#for a while. then two years later you said it wasnt working and that this was best for both of us. guess i never got the memo for that one#hope we treat other people better because i wasn't as kind as i should have been towards the end and you were never as thoughtful or con-#-siderate as i needed towards the end. we grew apart because you're bad at keeping contact over messaging#and in some ways the cracks in the foundation that grew from that were my fault too i guess. our conversations always felt one sided#maybe i was smothering you#you could never seem to keep more than a passing recollection of the things i liked or even pay much attention to them#but i wasn't great about that either#we just became different people. you weren't what i wanted or needed and you couldn't do long distance. whatever#i know it was the right thing i just wish it hadn't made me feel so damn awful#will we still talk after this? who knows. we didn't end on bad terms but things are definitely weird#and considering your track record with people you can only talk to online i'm not optimistic#you tried to break things off initially by saying you'd said you would improve in the past with nothing to show for it#something i didn't disagree with but i said it didn't bother me much. and it didn't#but it's complicated now. i did deserve better. but you made it clear i'm not getting it from you#you weren't as present or thoughtful as i needed#i wasn't there in person the way you needed and certainly not as considerate as i should have been. and for that second part i'm truly sorr#anyways. sorry. i'd been thinking about it for a long time anyway. i didn't want to admit it because i didn't like to think#about what it might bring. maybe i should have been braver#right. that's enough
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it’s so hard out here as an abedison disliker
#the truest repairman posts#These tags are long as shit sorry#im not fandom tagging this one because it’s not really about that it’s more like.#Guys I don’t see it…#At ALL#and obviously I know why I don’t but it feels like sometimes I’m just pulling the “can’t people be friends” card which sucks#And is NOT the argument I’m trying I can assure you#I don’t see it in a romantic or even. Even a qpr way??#They just seem like friends to me?#Even then I always see people singing the praises of their dynamic in s6 (obviously helped by the fact that Alison and Danny are friends#which is lovely obviously) but even then ehhhh. It’s not that compelling#They’re friends and I appreciate their relationship the same as I enjoy the rest of the group and their interpersonal connections#The things people point out to just come across personally like character moments between them? Not romantic in the slightest?#Even when they kissed- usually I can find a lot of appreciation for canon relationships in shows I like#Even if I disagree with the characterisation#But it really just felt like capital N Nothing to me#Also#As I’ve made very clear#I am a lesbian Annie truther 100%#I just don’t think I could ever read her another way without taking out the foundation of her character in my mind#And idk I dig non binary abed perspectives but they aren’t the ones I tend to examine the show with#Any more than I use the perspective that he’s queer as in peculiar as much as queer as in Queer#All this said 100% respect to the abedison shippers out there you do excellent work#It’s just not for me#Anti abedison#I want to clarify this post is NOT anti abedison at all but I don’t want people who are just having a nice time to have to see this
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I’m thinking about how the Mechs use energy, because they do things and live and therefore they *must* use energy, that’s how physics (and biology) work.
I had the idea that they are always absolutely frigid to the touch because they suck in heat from the environment like an endothermic chemical reaction.
#the mechanisms#another crack idea#it would make the most sense for them to be able to run on multiple kinds of energy#and yes i know the actual answer is that they just do. its magic basically. but thats not fun for me.#what is fun is trying to figure this shit out#and if you disagree. thats fine. disregard my musings. but like. idk what to tell you. im autistic.#of course the way i enjoy the media is different than most people#i dont think its surprisjng that the way my autistic ass likes to interact with the mechs is to disect every little bit and try to fill-#holes in ways that make sense in our understanding of the universe and their world#like you could just say that in the universe that the mechs live in physics doesnt work the same and energy isnt needed#which is fucking insane#but you could. my question would then be how the physics does work and trying to figure that out.#i just wanna stick my fingies in the holes in the story like its a crochet blanket and make flex them around#thats whats fun for me. which means that its super frustrating when i pose these questions looking for people to play in thd space with me-#and they just get shut down with answer like ‘whatever serves the narrative’ or ‘the mechs are unreliable narrators’ or ‘jonny lies’#tbc unreliable narrators can be very fun. but its not fun when it stops the possibilities or the conversation.#its not fun when ‘unreliable narrator’ is the end.#i think other people may enjoy the freedom of just doing anything that that gives them (or ‘whatever serves the narrative’ does)#but i dont because im a scientist which means i want to figure things out which means there must be a framework#if anything could happen at any time then you can’t make a cohesive story.#and i coukd argue we know thats not the case since ivy predicts stuff based on likelihood#anyway i managed to go down a rabbit hole tangent of why apes and roundworms hybridizing is the most ridiculous ‘scientific’ answer ive-#seen in scifi. so if you’re interested in that. hmu
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OK my new hot take is that no one should get radicalised into anything from this election result. Please instead take some time, rest, look after yourselves. And in a few weeks, start thinking about politics but stop when you find yourself spiralling.
#disclaimer 1: im in the uk so u can ignore if you want#disclaimer 2: since 7/10 I honestly am working with the idea that radicalisation is a bad thing including on leftist topics#source: my experience that radicalised people just rant and rave but do very little#and start actively cutting out other leftists and liberals that they broadly agree with#when they slightly disagree on one thing#the best way to come to political views is to learn about them in a calm place and keep learning#i know its fucking hard when horrible things are already happening! im sorry and please take care of yourself <3
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