#as for others I need to explore more
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imagine if thalia visited percy on his fifteen birthday. an apology lodged somewhere in the back of her throat. knocking on the apartment door while holding back tears. sally greeting her with the warm smile of a mother. paul welcoming her inside with the kind tone of a father. imagine thalia surprised to see percy and nico bonding over two slices of blue cake. feeling even more alienated as a big three kid. knowing these two had a relationship without her. imagine thalia meeting percy's eyes from across the room. and for a brief second. she swears his previously gleeful gaze turns cold and bitter. and she's waiting for the anger. for the tide to drown her. and she's prepared to welcome it. but then his gaze turns remorseful. and then apologetic. and he doesn't yell at her. instead. he invites her to sit next to him and nico. and welcomes her to a slice of blue cake. because time will pass anyway. and life's way too short for kids like them to not hold each other through it.
#tbotl angst#thalia should've visited#i will die on this fucking hill#we needed these three to be together that day#to hold each other through#i need more of these three#their relationship is too messy and complicated and amazing not to explore#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#pjo headcanon#percy jackson#thalia grace#nico di angelo
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i know they underutilized the frankenstein aspect in the movie but it really does feel like the creature was perfectly created for lisa regardless. from what we saw, he spent his whole life lonely; dead parents, isolating social life, failed romantic prospects, the whole shebang, but he never gets to do anything about it because he dies, suddenly and unstoppably. until he’s suddenly alive again and the whole world is different but there’s this girl who tended to his grave when nobody else would have given him that respect, who’s experiencing the same things he did who actually has the chance to get back at the people who didn’t care for her, one tiny bit of familiarity to him… of course he’s going to kill for her just to see her happy.
#i’m just rambling atp but i really love them man#hits esp hard if you’re annoying like me and factor in trans!creature#theres something so intriguing about devotion to the point of destruction#burning the whole world down for a place in each others arms#lisa frankenstein#b.txt#i’m gonna explore this more in my current wip i think#once i get the scene rip refs i need
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Kevin watching Jean ask Jeremy if he's okay, watching Jean offer to hold Laila's bag so she can fix her shoe, watching Jean hand Cat a granola bar before a game because she looked a little unsteady. He's not jealous, he had his time by Jean's side. Maybe it's grief. Grief for something that was never so innocent, never so untouched by cruel hands, something that could've been better if they were anyone else. Grief for something that's long passed and can never be fixed to be made better than before. He had his time at the receiving end of Jean's concerned glances. Maybe he's just a little sad that when he's at an away game, he no longer buys post cards for a friend. Maybe he just misses this person who used to always be by his side but they both knows it's better this way. Jean is happy, it's not with Kevin, and that's okay.
#god i need to stfu#but i just like the idea of a kevin who knows that jean is in a better place physically emotionally spiritually whatever#and he knows that it's a good thing and he loves seeing his friend like this#he's not jealous but maybe he thinks about how that could've been them in another life#just a little sorrowful at the thought that once they knew everything about each other and now they can hardly hold a conversation#bittersweet feelings over burnt bridges and bad blood#its no ones fault and they know this#Kevin just wants his friend to be happy#listen i think we as a community could explore this dynamic more#does this even make sense#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#tsc#jean moreau#kevin day
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Ohhh so THAT’S why they call her Mum
#style exploration with the girl !!!#my princess my autism creature#I’m so obsessed with her#yeah remember a few days ago when I was like I need to change my style right now. yeah. doing that#not been happy with my art I want !!! different#and I like this different!!#it’s got the stuff I like from my old style and also stuff I like fro other ppls art#excited to explore more#:)#hilda#hilda the series#netflix hilda#hilda netflix#art#my art#digital art#fanart#doodle#drawing#Hilda johanna#Johanna hilda#oh she was meant to be sweeping her hair back in the one with her hand on her head and I forgot lmao
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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hear me out on scag x split guys. they both start with "s" it's practically canon.
#labyposting#yes i know split x bive but guys we have other women for the both of them. let's explore!!!#don't bully me on my wheelchair drawing skills i have both never drawn one and also attempted a mashup for it so. no real accurate refs#i also couldn't think of how to attach the claw prosthetic to scag's arm so we got tha arm warmerrrrrrrrrrrrr.#probs will change it at some point cus i don't like it. sigh. more references and studies.#not enough time for that now though i must create lesbians#futch4butch my beloved...#they would be so awesome together guys do you have any idea. DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW??!???!?!??!#someone ask me about them i want to think about their relationship more but im stuggling with ideas. of what to think.#somebody else ship this with me also. i need a friend in these lonely and trying times#cleft lip gamer electric wheelchair butch nonbinary lesbian IT worker and shop owner scag for the win#oh my gooddddd someone PLEAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE#my newest freshest brainrot born straight out of my mind. i'm not going to stop thinking about this.#i want what they have.#ok now i will actually put tags#soz guys i got a little carried away#labyart#my art#regretevator#regretevator roblox#roblox regretevator#regretevator fanart#regretevator art#roblox#roblox art#roblox fanart#fanart#regretevator split#split regretevator#split
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"I feel crazy," Helsknight said.
Tanguish blinked, the sound of Helsknight's voice pulling him awake when he was just on the teetering edge of sleep. His thoughts had started taking on the fluid, picture-like quality of half-dreams, all over-bright and surreal. The inside of the kitchen, the overhead lights, but in primary colors and tilting shapes. He hadn't even realized he was so close to sleep until Helsknight was speaking. Then Tanguish's eyes were open, and the world was decidedly more mundane.
Tanguish shifted, humming tunelessly, a filler for thoughts he was having trouble forming. At length he asked, "Crazy?"
Helsknight sighed. Tanguish heard it as a deep, hollow huff of air pressed against his ear, lungs filling. Helsknight had collapsed onto the couch, arms around the arm rest, head pillowed over the side. It had been a long day, and he had been tired, and Tanguish had collapsed on top of him, a forming habit. The cold of Tanguish's ice soothed Helsknight's feverish skin, soothed him restful, and Tanguish found the sound of the knight's heartbeat and the hand that occasionally stroked his hair twin comforts.
"Today I was fine," Helsknight said, blinking up at the ceiling. "I was strong, fit, and healthy. My hands didn't shake. My breaths were easy. My thoughts were mine. It was a good day."
Helsknight didn't frown exactly. His eyes were closed, and the scars on his face were pale traces that made the sharp plane of his cheekbone more obvious, and turned his eyebrow into odd segments. Those scars pulled together slightly as his eyebrows drew closer, a line creasing between them. Not a frown exactly, but something that wandered the same avenues of expression.
"It's like last week never happened."
Helsknight opened his eyes and blinked at the ceiling. He repeated, "I feel crazy."
"Life is good days and bad days," Tanguish said gently, treading his way carefully into the conversation. He rested his chin in the center of Helsknight's chest and gave another tuneless hum, something that rattled in his throat almost like a purr. He hoped it was soothing. "I'm glad you're feeling better."
"It feels shameful," Helsknight said, that furrow in his brow deepening, taking on the contours of a proper scowl. "Like I made a big deal out of nothing."
"You believed it was bad enough at the time," Tanguish offered, a reuse of the knight's own words, his oaths about lying. I believed it was true at the time, so no tenet was broken; no sin committed. "I could tell you were hurting."
"I was hurting," Helsknight agreed and sighed again, his eyes closing. "But I should have handled it better."
"Would you begrudge someone their fears over a broken arm, just because in a few months it's healed?"
"It hasn't been a few months. It's been days."
"Time heals needs differently?"
"Tanguish."
"I don't see any logic in these thoughts, Helsknight," Tanguish said gently, letting out another tuneless purr. "Chasing them, I mean. You were hurting, and it knocked you off your feet. You're better now, so today, you were back on them. And it was a good day."
"It was a good day," Helsknight agreed quietly.
"Enjoy it while you have it," Tanguish whispered. He waited patiently for Helsknight to respond, and when he didn't, added a very quiet, "Please?"
Helsknight sighed again. His hand moved to comb through Tanguish's hair with sword-calloused fingers. The touch was warm and gentle, and heavy with weariness.
"I worry about the next bad day," Helsknight said. "It will come again."
"Worry about it when it gets here."
"If I'm not ready and it knocks me off my feet again, what then?"
"Life isn't a siege, knight," Tanguish reminded him. "You don't survive it behind walls and moats."
"But I wouldn't wound anyone else."
"You didn't wound me. You didn't wound anyone." Tanguish tilted his head slightly. "You maybe wounded your own pride?"
The crease between Helsknight's eyes turned into a frown, with wrinkled nose and curled lip, baring half a flash of white teeth.
"It shouldn't hurt your pride to have bad days," Tanguish purred. "It only means you're human like the rest of us."
"I wish I wasn't, sometimes."
"Is it so terrible that I'm human?"
"No."
"And Martyn and EB?"
"Tanguish."
"Join us on the ground," Tanguish told him light-heartedly. "That pedestal looks uncomfortable."
Helsknight passed his hand through Tanguish's hair again, teasing its way through a tangle. Together, they lay on the couch and matched their breathing. The house was quiet and still, and Tanguish was warm and safe. He felt himself teetering again, eyes drooping. A feeling like tilting, and edge to fall over, a world of comfortable dreams opening up over the side. He knew if he opened his eyes again, the feeling would vanish, as would the strange colors and shapes of half-dreams. Ghosts and mists that slipped from remembered thought the moment they were no longer felt, so soft and surreal, they might not exist at all. In the morning, he might not even remember how they felt, only that they passed him over, a vague impression of memory.
"I will try," Helsknight said.
And they slept.
#rns ficlets#the barking writer#helsknight#tanguish#this is so short it probably doesnt need a read more but im paranoid#and i dont need any other needless anxiety#anyway -- im just exploring thoughts#sometimes making the conversations in your head physical... helps#and i can see them talking about this anyway
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RETURN TO MONKE (PUBERTY EDITION)
MK’s monkey form doesn’t feel right to me so i wanted to break up his transformation into stages. Maybe as he learns to accept that side of himself it becomes part of him, instead of changing between human and monkey randomly (which is probably painful). Love yourself, NOW!!!
@zymstarz im tagging you for FULL MONKE
#ALSO BECAUSE. THAT BOY NEEDS A NOSE#i like the idea of MK constantly flashing between his monkey and human forms as some sort of internal conflict or identity crisis#and he can’t hold his monkey form for very long soo. I’m going to put way too much thought into it and say its some sort of repression#also I made the hair on the sides of his face more attached or growing on the cheeks so it kind of frames it#maybe it’s because his design is so top heavy on his head and that’s why the sideburns feel wrong to me#like it’s fine with Swk and macaque because their hair is more like a tuft. but MKs hair is longer it just feels less balanced shape wise#I also don’t see his tail being very strong right off the bat because it’s. a new limb so the muscle has to be underdeveloped imo#I’m still a firm believer in the face mark XP system though. that is his Minecraft experience bar fight me#ALSO ALSO going back to him flashing between human and monkey. I just like this idea because to complement that idea of identity crisis#like think about it. if he comes to accept this new part of himself he doesn’t have to decide between one or the other I guess? like he#gets used to exploring this part of his identity. also it’s like Pokémon evolution lol#my art#myart#doodles#lego monkie kid#lmk#monkie kid#lmk season 4 spoilers#lmk s4 spoilers#lmk season 4#lmk s4#lmk MK#lmk xiaotian#lego monkie kid fanart#lmk fanart
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Re: Tuvok being Janeway's true biggest enabler, I really like how it's implied that Janeway absolutely returns the favor
Like, Tuvok has the nerve to basically tap Chakotay on the shoulder and go "Um? I hear you're going with B'Elanna's plan? That's not how it works. I, Tuvok, just made a suggestion and you're not following it which is really confusing to me. If JANEWAY were here-" and I do love him for it and I DON'T think he's lying. I think Janeway really does have a long history of listening to Tuvok over others, perhaps without even realizing it. Janeway & Tuvok together sound like hell in space, a literal nightmare, and I adore them for it. Janeway unintentionally strokes Tuvok's ego by letting him do whatever he thinks is best in any situation while Tuvok unintentionally feeds Janeway's self-image of what a glorious captain should be and I'm not saying Tuvok isn't smart or Janeway isn't a great captain [they objectively are these things] - I just really love this ouroboros they've got going on. They bring out the best in each other, they're so selfless, they'd sacrifice their life for the other, and also they're a little bit full of themselves in part because the other keeps feeding them, and I think that's beautiful✨
Tuvok Voice: Sorry. This is...really difficult for me...I'm just not used to not being favored by the captain. Chakotay: ................................................................
#chara analysis#Tuvok#Kathryn Janeway#'I feel compelled to point out-' I'll BET you do <3#I wiiish they'd put the chakotay-tuvok conflict in more episodes I love what a brat Tuvok is about Chakotay#there is so much implied by the fact that Tuvok acts this way and I think we all need to think about and explore it more#Chakotay's a much better man than me I would be SO irritated if someone was being like this EHEHEH#star trek voyager#st voy#Janeway/Tuvok#I feel like I didn't explain myself well enough but I just got my covid booster and I feel tiiired!!#Tuvok & Janeway are at a two person table feeding each other and being fed in turn and staring into each other's eyes and it isn't romantic#It's worse.
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Ingenue
Reel it in.
(NB even though this reads right to left, the pages are ordered so that they will be in order when scrolled through on full screen)
#ending's a little anticlimactic but here it is#I've spent a long time on this bad boy#been thinking about them more recently#their dynamic is under-explored#congrats to School Briefs on being like the only media that gives them interactions with each other#maybe Vigilantes too idk I still haven't finished it#hate drawing Yamada's hair down like this i am not very good at it#I need . segments. that's the only way i can mentally process hair#bnha#hizashi yamada#present mic#mha#villain!mic#loudspeaker au#nemuri kayama#midmic#micnight#sorta. if you wish it to be#enjoy. eat up.#now give me those sweet sweet notes
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"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?
I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.
And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.
I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.
But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.
Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.
The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.
Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.
Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.
If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.
*: (edit) added for clarity.
**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.
#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2#Loumand#louis du pointe du lac#armand#interview with the vampire#IWTV#Many people are ranting about this but I'm throwing my hat in too#signed someone who went through csa and is close friends with many swers#long rant#noticing spelling errors in this after posting ffff#added note: I'm not saying armand and louis dynamic is without it's flaws or that louis was somehow without his exploitation and faults#while he was a pimp#as a pimp though he certainly wasn't going about it in the same way as what had happened in the brothel or with marius#I more so say that their very actions are of a healthier dynamic than that this is true even if they themselves are not exactly so#all for nuanced and messed up relationships that run everywhere in this show#But I still don't see it as that specific dynamic I wouldn't call it that there's just an amount of that dominence at play#neither want to be tethered to the roles they've been playing previously and they aren't entirely different for it but#are still arriving to this idea of needing something new to define themselves by and something they both want#they're exploring with this companionship that they're still trying to get a feel for#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point#last thing I guess is that I am not here to start shit it's fictional and not that serious 4 me 2 care enough 2 go after any1#not individually no#These are just my thoughts#I heavily caution using this idea of it being like the pimp 'jumped out' or whatever for reasons above#and its racist implications as others have said more bluntly (I've implied it)
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Twin skeletons need twin carriers (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Gaster#Sans#Papyrus#Asgore#Also hey Edgar is here! What the heck! Lol#Vargas#Edgar#Ugh I am so weak to baby silliness jfdslafjdjsahfds#I quite literally asked for it and it was still an OHKO lol ♪#Just! The idea of Gaster getting a baby carrier was too cute not to explore heck and a heck#He'd need a twin carrier! :D Or one of those ones that can attach one to another criss-cross style however it works - he'd need two#But the classic twin setup would have some interesting logistical problems haha#For one Sans is very upset at being separated from his brother especially - Papyrus would also fuss but Sans is much louder ironically haha#There are carrier styles that allow both babies to sit sideways so they can see each other tho :D A decent solution#Also me realizing in real time just how old Gaster is to be a single father all of a sudden lol#There'd still probably be situations where he'd need to be a bit more balanced I imagine that'd get fairly front-heavy#Even if they are skeletons so is he haha#The other problem would be - I imagine Sans would basically always take Gaster's chest and Papyrus at his back#Even tho he sleeps more - maybe even partially because of that - Gaster would always want to be able to check on him#He's quieter and moves around less and if he Needs-to needs-to he can protect Sans with his arms#Hopefully that would never need to happen! But Parent Brain haha#He accidentally bonks Papyrus into something and goes into near-hysterics of What If That Was Sans I Can Never Set This Baby Down Again#I have another small silly idea related to that as well hopefully I can get to it soon haha#Anyway - obviously he trusts Asgore with Sans! Happy medium!#Papyrus finally getting some chest-to-chest snuggles hehe ♪ Gaster isn't baby talking him he's just being dryly silly haha#The translations are ''NOW NOW'' ''ISN'T THAT QUITE ENOUGH'' ''DON'T YOU KNOW BETTER''#Asgore just enjoying watching him talk to the boys in his own font - privately but openly bonding with them! ♥ A thing only skeletons can do
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woagh- blast from the past. First sketches of Corvo when I was trying to figure this dude out
#graedari doodles#dishonored#dh1#dishonored fanart#corvo attano#pencil#sketch#pencil sketch#drawing paper#oughgghgh i made him a twink 💀no one pay attention to that#but other than that i think i did pretty good on a first character exploration#i need to get back to drawing him more sewer-esque like that first one#i feel like i draw him too pretty boy#which he is#but part of his pretty boy charm is being a sewer man#graedari dh#graedari loves queue
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there are many things about hazel's povs that have an intensely de-racialized vibe to them (read: divorced from the black girl experience) but I think any black person will tell you that the most obvious sign is the complete lack of attention paid to her hair
like firstly:
she's from the 1930s her hair was definitely getting permed and straightened (it was not acceptable to just wear your natural hair out back then. optics + cultural assimilation/you'll be hard pressed to find photos of black american girls with unstraightened hair in that time period unless they're from like..... harlem)
I do believe that marie was straightening it for her For A Time but then she became more neglectful and stopped so hazel had to do it herself. I'm almost positive that hazel wouldn't have even been permitted to set foot in her school building without straightening it because that's just how much of an expectation it was
ok she comes back from the dead. what's she doing to her hair now bc it's not just gonna be cutesy effortless curls falling over her shoulder no matter what the length is
how does she feel about living in a time period where natural black hair is more accepted (read: more, absolutely not fully)
there are no black people around her At All. in fact she's around a lot of white people on the argo (+nico) so that would probably be giving her some intense feelings of double consciousness (look this term up if you don't know what it means) and that would inform how she feels about her hair
theoretically she ought to be wearing her hair in braids for simplicity's sake but I think it's more likely that she would cling to what she knows (perming/straightening) because it's not easy for a 14 year old girl (PSA hazel is 14.5 in hoo not 13 btw 👍) to go from assimilating to deeply-ingrained white hair beauty standards to just proudly wearing a distinctly black hairstyle all by herself
mind you black women and girls can do whatever they want with their hair and straightening/perming it does not always/have to come from a place of self-hatred or whatever but in this particular case back then straightening one's hair was political And a survival tactic. it was as normal as brushing your teeth. it was enforced through dominant cultural messagings about the Absolute Necessity of conforming to white conventions of beauty. if you don't understand then think of it similarly to how you'd think of 1930s women needing to be perpetually dolled up and modestly dressed in order to be considered "good women" and anyways I'm just saying that this would be a lot to unpack for a 14 year old girl so hazel's probably just continuing to do this impractical thing (straightening her hair all the time) like 60% out of habit and 20% out of shame and 20% she doesn't know what else to do
something something about a missed potential character arc regarding all of this and in general there's so little mind paid to race in hazel's povs which is just ridiculous to me because a black girl from the jim crow era should have at least a few feelings about where she fits into modern society even if that society is camp jupiter. rick demonstrates his capacity to talk about how his characters feel about their race most notably in the kane chronicles so I don't think was too much to ask for. see this quote from an early son of neptune chapter:
^ like....... hazel's feelings of out-of-place-ness are There in the text and important to take note of when understanding her character (note that she's been there for like a year already and she still feels like she doesn't belong) but the emphasis is always put on her Being from a different time or Being undead and is never put on her out-of-place-ness regarding her race as a black girl from segregation times who is literally so out-of-place in this weird post-racial camp jupiter society. it feels like such an obvious thing to consider so its glaring absence really bugs me when I reread her povs and it bugs me when her hair is never talked about by extension because It Matters
you might be thinking "well she had a lot going on and she's not a superficial person maybe she just didn't care what was going on with her hair" and my response is simply that Black girls don't get to "not care" about their hair it is not the same thing as a white person going to school with bedhead it's not the same thing At All (if you aren't black then chances are you've never actually seen what untouched black hair looks like in the morning), especially when it's been beaten into your head for your entire life that your hair is ugly and you have to "do something to it" for it to be acceptable (and again...... she's from the 1930s so that feeling is magnified like 50x over). remember that perpetually dolled up modest 1930s woman I mentioned previously. picture her time traveling to camp jupiter of all places in 2010 and struggling to drop all of her makeup/hairstyling routines and internalized misogyny and conceptualizations of what women are "supposed" to be. this is the kind of fascinating character exploration that we really missed out on with hazel (and tbh regardless of her race she was never believably written as someone from the 1930s. I don't think rick even really tried to be honest)
you might also be wondering "how was rick supposed to know/attempt to portray any of that" and then my second answer is that If you're going to write a character who is not the same race as you then you should do some research and we have the internet now so research has never been easier 👍 this would be especially important to do if that person is a poc from the jim crow era I think! (he could have at least googled black hair 1930s)
anyways what I choose to believe (this is pure fanfiction) is that during hazel's first year at camp jupiter (remember that she was there for about a year before son started) nico would have helped her figure something out after observing her distress over her hair c: like they both secretly watched youtube videos on black hairstyles circa 2010 and then they got attacked by monsters for using a laptop (neither of them know how to use a laptop but he's trying his best for her) but then after killing them he helped her do her hair as something she likes that is easy to maintain <3 (I could also see reyna doing this because she surely knows a thing or two from her spa days)
#the descriptions of her hair are very few and when they do occur they're pretty nonsensical/I can tell how reserved rick is being#unfortunately there's a lot of room for plausible deniability because demigod phenotypes don't need to make sense#she has natural cinnamon toast hair and gold eyes so it's just like (throws up my hands) Whatever#but is plausible deniability more interesting! I don't think so!!!!#whatever#one of my favorite things to think about is hazel potentially seeing other black people at camp jupiter#and having really confusing feelings about that because her death is 100% a secret she can't tell them where she comes from#like can you imagine#I love hazel to the end of the world but unfortunately I think she's the most thoughtlessly written main character of pjo#you can't give your character THAT crazy of a backstory and then fall so flat on exploring it man#but I see her potential so she is very gorjus to me#hazel levesque#nico di angelo#pjo hoo toa#underworld siblings#percy jackson and the olympians#the son of neptune#rr crit#<- tagging that just in case but also I am being pretty critical of rick here so I guess it's justified#heroes of olympus
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" För jag har trillat dit, jag har fallit, jag har vaknat! "
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#hyur#midlander#erenville#rava#viera#wolship#ffxiv screenshot#gpose#erenville x wol#erenville x warrior of light#erenwol#ffxiv oc#ffxiv wol#wol#warrior of light#nabaath-areng#ieeha de verral#ieeha#erenieeha#theyre so awfully sweet i dont know why that keeps surprising me somehow#especially compared to most other ieeha ships that almost always start out on a bad and/or a tumultuous note#erenville's temperament is very effective on ieeha though#their greatest obstacle is the way their personalities make them react to the struggles they face in the msq#and having to put their barely explored relationship on hold while other things take priority#anyway...... i need to try more screens of them#i took these while tired so not super fancy
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i like to play minecraft on peaceful survival bc im essentially using it like a building sim where i can find materials to build cool houses/cities out of. i have a few games where i play normal survival minecraft though, and they always throw me off bc im still using it as a building sim except it takes me twice as long because this time i have to kill all these fucking skeletons on the way to get dye for glazed terracotta
#the closest lake with squid is next to a big overhang but i need the ink sacs#IM STILL USING IT LIKE A BUILDING SIM BUT NOW I NEED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT AND IT TAKE TWICE AS LONG#noome recommend me other games that are more designed for building i dont want those i want minecraft#ican terraform the entire location to me specifications#i can dig a huge hole i can take down the mountain i built on the side of i can explore and build in the deepslate caves#i can do anything including writing funny messages into the sky and paving over a ravine to make a second secret city underneath#minecraft#shark talks
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