#somebody else ship this with me also. i need a friend in these lonely and trying times

[s4ndg3m]

hear me out on scag x split guys. they both start with "s" it's practically canon.

[vagabondfandoms]

Falls on Me

Day Two: Afternoon

Rating: Teen (For this Chapter)

Previous Chapters:

Day One: Night 2. Day Two: Morning

Characters: Gale Dekarios, F!Tav: Copper, Karlach and Astarion appear at the end, and Lae'zel, Wyll Ravengard, and Shadowheart are mentioned.

Warnings: N/A, Gale POV, Mentions of chronic pain

Gale asks for the Sword of Justice and ends up with a debate.

---

The pings of pain that usually exist in his body at all times since he got cursed with the orb were increasing in intensity. 

“Soon.” Gale thinks, “He’ll need to absorb a magical item soon.”

At first, Gale was apprehensive about acquiring magical items for his condition. He couldn't predict what kind of people he was traveling with. Were they kind souls who would give up a rare magical item for an ailing wizard? Or ones that hoard their treasures like dragons in a deserted dwarf stronghold on top of a lonely mountain?

In general people on the Material Plane are very… well, materialistic. Gale couldn't really blame them. This world is harsh and you have to have some sort of gumption to get anything in it. Or be lucky enough to be born with it. 

Gale considers himself one of the lucky ones. His father was a well-off shipping mogul in Waterdeep. While Gale was an illegitimate child, his father didn't balk at his duties to take care of his blood at least financially. 

And to be fair, his father could have adored his youngest son but Gale just can't remember. His dad died when he was 10 years old and Gale only has hazy recollections of the man. Most of those memories involved his dad stopping over at his mother's house bearing gifts. Being a little kid he can only remember the joy of receiving the gift and not the reaction from the giver. 

Gale was hoping somebody in his new party was a giver and after spending a day with his new “friends” he had a pretty good guess on who. 

Copper, the Ilmateri monk was both physically strong and tactically minded but also a firm devotee to her god’s tenets of compassion, respect, and willingness to go without. 

While all of Gale's other companions (including himself) picked over the camping supplies to make their personal tents as cozy as possible. The monk just threw together a makeshift tarp held up with sticks and called it good.

Gale was 90% sure that Copper would be willing to go without a magical item in her sack if he asked. He just needs to find the right time between battling goblins, spiders, and people posing as Paladins of Tyr. 

---

They just finished dispatching a small band of goblins dragging a terrified owlbear cub to their outpost in an old temple of Selûne when Gale saw his chance to ask Copper for a magical item.

Everybody else was either busy examining the owlbear cub they just saved or looting the corpses for items when Gale casually made his way over to Copper who was rummaging through her pack.

“Tiring business, isn’t it?” Gale starts. “All this traveling and adventuring.”

Copper looks up at him in surprise, apparently not expecting anybody to talk to her. “Are you tired already?” She stands up, guzzling some water, looking over at him from around the bottle.

“Well, maybe a little,” Gale says half truthfully. “But I was hoping for the chance to talk to you about something, well, rather important.”

Copper’s eyes narrow by a fraction and if Gale wasn’t so invested in starting this conversation he might have missed it. His nerves start to flutter in his stomach. “What if she says no?”

“Consider this a break.” Copper shrugs and tosses Gale her water bottle. “Drink some water, it’s hot out here, and tell me what’s ailing you.”

“Ailing me, ha. If she only knew.” Gale thinks as he unexpectedly catches the glass container coming towards his chest. It was aimed in a way that it would be impossible to drop unless you didn’t even attempt to catch it. Gale muscles the cork out and takes a swig of the cool water. 

“She must have filled it at the stream earlier today.” He considers, the cold water feeling good in his parched throat.

Copper sits down on a fallen log, waiting for Gale to finish. He takes one last gulp, downing the rest of the liquid before tossing the empty bottle back to its owner.

“Soooo, we’ve been on the road together for a while now, haven’t we?” Gale says, trying to make his words sound cheerful. Not desperate or needy. “Survived some perils, overcame some obstacles.”

The monk just raises an eyebrow at him but stays quiet allowing him to speak.

“Anyway, ever since you were kind enough to pull me from that stone, I’ve seen you demonstrate remarkable guile and courage.” Gale continues, half speaking the truth and half buttering the woman up so he could get the magic item in her bag. 

“The way you diffused the tension between Zevlor and Aradin. The way you prevented not one but two murders in the Druid’s Grove…”

“Gale.” Copper cuts in. “Those are things any Ilmateri monk would do for others. I did nothing special.”

“Wellll, I don’t know about that.” Gale playfully argues. “Most of the Ilmateri I’ve met are, well, weepy.”

Copper gives him a chuckle and bows her head, conceding to his point. Even though she follows the Crying God, most of his followers take that epithet too seriously. 

“Back to my point, I’ve grown to trust you enough to tell you something I’ve yet to tell another living soul, except for my cat,” Gale says seriously. “I need your help.  I have this…condition that requires me to consume powerful magical items.” 

To Copper’s credit, she doesn’t even look surprised when Gale tells her this. She just calmly assesses the man. Looking him over for any injuries. “You hide it well.” Copper finally says. “It must be serious if you have to consume powerful artifacts.”

“Yes, it can be deadly serious if I don't acquire the items I need,” Gale says gravely. “That is why I am turning to you. I need your help to find magical items to consume. It is vital. Dare I say it, critical.”

“Where do we find these items?” Copper asks calmly.

“We’ve already done the finding. In fact, you have one in your possession already.” The man says lightheartedly. Pleased this conversation wasn't being rejected outright.

“Soooo… you want me to give you the Sword of Justice?” Copper says, connecting the dots to what Gale wants quickly.  But a scowl appears as a new thought enters her mind. “Karlach doesn't want to use it right now but Lae’zel might.”

“Please, I know that sword was difficult to acquire but it's imperative that I absorb the Weave in that item!” Gale argues, his nerves jumping wildly in his stomach. “It will do far more good turning into a rusted piece of metal after I am done with it than waiting in your pack for somebody to decide to use it.”

Copper looks conflicted. She must hear the desperation in Gale's voice. But to sacrifice such a powerful magical weapon for…what?

“This magical item isn't mine to give.” The monk shakes her head, a sad look on her face. “Can you tell me more about your condition? Maybe I can try and heal it instead of destroying the sword?” Copper tries to reason. 

There's hope in her eyes that she can fix the dilemma without disappointing anybody. But Gale feels disappointed all the same.

“This condition is not a kind to be healed by any old healing spell.” Gale chastises, annoyance and vulnerability mixing together. “Some of the greatest magical minds came together to find this treatment.”

“You mean you and your cat?” Copper deadpans.

“Well, mainly Tara.” Gale deflates, not wanting to go into detail about his year-long depressive state after Mystra’s rejection.

“You mentioned healing spells won't work. Have you thought of Ki restoration?” Copper supplies helpfully.

“What! Try some quack Eastern Medicine?” Gale laughs, shaking his head. “No, what I need is the Weave.”

Copper huffs, clearly annoyed. “Ki restoration has been around for thousands of years! Instead of using outside magic to heal an injury. Ki restoration uses life force, either your own or another’s, to help strengthen the body from within so it can restore itself to a healthier state.” 

The monk crosses her arms and looks directly at Gale. Almost challenging the man to refute her. “Ki is a highly regarded field of learning just like the Arcane Arts of the Weave.”

“Sorry, I shouldn’t called it a quack medicine.” Gale quickly corrects himself seeing he got his companion worked up with his quick choice of words. “Waterdeep has one of the largest collections of knowledge in the Realms and the libraries do have a small section about Ki. So I have read up on this… energy before. It seems like an adequate way to trick oneself to relax or slightly enhance one’s abilities. But it’s still a lowly form of magic not even regulated by Mystra.”

“Ki is not the Weave. It doesn’t have to be governed by a god since it is an uncontrollable life energy that we can only harness a small fraction of.” Copper counters.

“Mystra...the Weave is everything. They make up ALL creation….”

“Ki is everything too!” Copper blurts out, uncustomed to sharing her thoughts with another person. “It's the life force in ALL living things.”

“Ki is regulated to the body,” Gale says calmly, overlooking the lack of decorum the monk is following for this discussion. Gale did throw out the first insult so he’ll let a little impatience slide. “Like I said, the Weave makes up everything. It’s the air we breathe, the ground we lay our feet on, the sun and stars. The fabric that makes up the entire universe!”

“Untrue.” Copper argues. “The Weave is one part of a whole that makes up the Universe. It's not everything. When the Weave was gone during the Spellplague, life was still created. People and animals were still born! Ki, the life force was still there. We didn’t just keel over and die without the Weave’s presence. How else do humans live when anti-magic fields are up?”

Gale feels tension forming in his jaw but it wasn’t from annoyance. He was getting excited even energized by this argument. He hasn’t had a good debate since he subbed at Black Staff Academy and had to argue with a teacher that they were teaching their class on Illusionary magic wrong. 

Looking down at the young monk, Gale realizes he needs to get down on her level so they can properly debate this. He was just about to kneel down to say his rebuttal when a couple of the party members came over to check on the two humans.

“Copper!!! Come see this little guy we rescued!” Karlach rushes over, full of excitement over the owlbear cub. Then she stops in her tracks, sensing the tension in the air. “Whatcha guys doing?”

“Urgh, they were just discussing something in-tel-lec-tual.” Astarion drags out the syllables in the last word like it is something rotten that needs to be thrown away. “So~ absolutely nothing exciting at all. Unlike this cool new dagger I found on that goblin corpse!!”

“Really, Astarion!” Gale says exasperated. “There’s nothing wrong about wanting to expand one’s mind beyond the material things of this world.”

The elf pops one hip to the side and examines his new treasure. “The only smarts I like are street smarts. At least they are useful to survival.”

“Come on now! I’ve seen you read in your tent at night.” Gale says, partially annoyed at Astarion's retort and partially because he couldn’t continue his conversation with Copper. He had so much he could say about the Weave and the Universe.

“Purely to pass away the hours of boredom,” Astarion says lazily, sliding his new dagger into his belt loop. 

Gale throws the elf a glare. He does not care for this blasé attitude Astarion always has around him.

“Well, I think break time is over.” Copper says as she gets up and brushes bark and moss off her butt. Karlach was already tugging at her sleeves, trying to lead the monk over to the owlbear cub, who was being watched over by Shadowheart, Wyll, and a reluctant Lae’zel.

Before she is fully swept off by the fiery tiefling, Copper catches Gale’s eye. “The sword is not solely mine to give. But don’t be afraid to ask the group if you really need it. They’re more willing to help than you think.”

Contemplating the monk's words, Gale watches his companions pack up their gear. They will be heading out soon to their new destination. Hopeful finding a way to cure the mind-flayer tadpoles in their heads. Gale can't help the small smile that forms on his lips as he watches the group happily give the scared owlbear cub food and affection. 

Maybe there are more givers in his group than he thought.

Author Note:

I like the fact in early access we had to give Gale a powerful magical item like the Sword of Justice for his condition. It gives his struggles more weight since the cost is so great. I'll try to sprinkle in more tidbits from early access as the story continues.

[secretsbehindthenine]

Thanks for kindly replying!

I sorta want to request a RC9GN story about Randy having a lonely birthday (which Howard has again forgotten about because… he forgets his bestie’s all the time!).

PS: Yeah, I’m a very sfw person but I don’t want to tread into shipping territory atm, so I’ll stay safe with the bromance friendship route.

Sorry about the late response! I'm currently halfway into the fall semester of college, so I'm working on a butt-load assignments at the moment. So, forgive me if any part of this feels rushed. 🥲

Also...I know your prompt wanted it to be centered on Howard forgetting Randy's birthday, but the whole "Randy having a lonely birthday" reminded me of a plot point in my Idol!AU that covers just that. Inspiration struck, so I had to write it out. I hope you don't mind! 😅

------

Time was a funny thing. Despite its consistency, the way it moves along at the same rhythm and tempo for everybody on earth, the way you process its passage will never be the same as how others go about it.

It had been six months since Randy came to Akemioka. 26 weeks since he decided to keep the other trainees at arm’s length, the last words Howard said to him replaying in his mind over and over again like a looped song. 181 days since he dedicated his time to testing the limits of his vocal range, improving his dancing skills, and practicing his Japanese. Anyone else would’ve thought those 4,344 hours were the longest they’ve ever endured, or the fastest that has ever managed to give them the slip. But Randy? He watched the clock in real time. Felt all 260,640 minutes pass by him like a classmate in a busy hallway. Time wasn’t a tangible thing; you couldn’t reach out and grasp it, as if it was a ball you had to catch or a bar you needed to grab. And yet, those 15,638,400 seconds churned something fierce in the depths of his stomach. It twisted his guts, pushed bile up his throat, got tears swelling up in the corners of his eyes. Every breath, whether slow-deep or shaky-shallow, was weighed down by the ticks that resonated from each clock Randy came across. All because Randy spent 15,638,400,000 milliseconds avoiding others like the plague, hoping—no, praying the thought of him being a major-league shoob would never cross any of their minds. Isolation was key. If he didn’t want to prove Howard right, if he didn’t want to run the risk of letting down anybody else, he had to alienate himself from everybody. He needed the loneliness, the company of himself and himself alone. That’s the only way he’ll be able to survive all this.

Except…

Birthdays weren’t a private thing. Not to Randy. It was unfathomable to him, to spend a day centered on the fact that you beat out the odds and lived another year in complete, utter seclusion. This accomplishment, this goal post, needed to be shared with others. It needed to be celebrated with the people you care about the most. That’s how it’s always been for Randy every time March 21st rolled around. He always had his friends and family at his side, congratulating him for the mere feat of being alive. He always had somebody to wish him a happy birthday, to give him a gift and lift up his spirits.

Until now, that is.

It had been 6 months since he left Norrisville right in the midst of the week before Thanksgiving break. 6 honking months since his fight with Howard and the end of a friendship he’d wholeheartedly believed would follow him to his grave. Randy knew 6 months after November was March. He knew he’d be spending his 15th birthday in Japan. Yet, it took his parents calling him at 6am sharp to actually accept that. It took his parents’ smiling faces on a tiny-ass screen, idly remarking that they had to get the timing just right so that their birthday message for him would be the first thing he woke up to, for him to finally acknowledge that, yes. It was his birthday now. Randy was officially 15 years old. And this phone call right here was all he’d be getting this year. No gifts. No parties. No…Howard. Just him and his parents on opposite sides of the Pacific, with only their phones keeping them connected.

If it wasn’t for the fact that his roommate was literally right next to him, Randy would’ve cried right then and there.

[put-me-in-a-movie-mp3]

hey, i wanted to request a stranger things and HP ship? (male preferably) if you can get to it, that is, thank you ♡

im 5’6 with olive skin, dark brown hair and eyes. i have a baby face with an athletic build.

a capricorn sun with two aries placements (moon and ascendant) and an infj personality.

i think i am very much like my placements/personality; ambitious and responsible like the goat, stubborn and independent with my positions in aries, and thoughtful with an idealistic mindset very much like the advocate. but i can also be highly contradicting in every which way especially when im put off and/or elsewhere in mind.

my humor is targeted for me so, ive learned how to entertain myself which maybe is why im the funniest person i know. i love funny people and those who can take and recognize a joke as such. the trauma also adds a little flavor to my personality. speaking of trauma, i think that’s why i also like to keep to myself most of the time. im introverted but i do like to have company sometimes and joke around, hang out, and do what friends normally do together. being alone a lot starts to feel really lonely. im also selective about those who i keep closely around me. i have like two good friends.

making playlists is a hobby of mine and collecting little trinkets. i enjoy reading, holding long tedtalks with myself, and i am a sucker for cute things. i can be very clumsy and destructive, always breaking things or getting a bruise or cut somehow with my rotten luck.

i swear the universe is out to get me.

but anyways, im constantly tired — like always. i don’t know what it is but even with eight hours of sleep i need to take a nap after being up for twenty minutes. in school, i would always be caught taking a nap somewhere, asleep. be it on or under the desks, on someone, standing up, backstage, every classroom, you get the picture.

p.s, if vecna daddy promised to end my suffering, let him! im exhausted.

like i said, if you can get around to this, thank you. i don’t wanna pressure you or anything. either way, i’ll be appreciative. have a great day, babe ♡

Here is who I ship you with! :))

Stranger Things

001

I feel like he would totally understand you and just want to take care of you. He understands that you have gone through trauma (which he has too) which is why understands and is so caring and patient with you. With your naps he would want you to sleep as much as you need. Whatever you need to make sure that you are okay. 001 understands what its like to be lonely and different than everybody else. So he would always make sure you felt like you weren't alone and he let you know that he was never going to leave. He was somebody you could always count on. He would love how much you are a hot head though and he would love your humor!

[miraculouscontent]

Didn’t Need Burrow (April 17th-23rd)

Anonymous said:

Didn't need Burrow: "Gabriel Agreste" will be all about how he's not really evil just misunderstood. He had a lonely childhood or some garbage and we should feel totally sad for him you guys.

Just throw the man in jail and move on, PLEASE.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Chloé will be jealous of Zoe and throws a temper tantrum. Bonus points if the show blames Maribug for giving Chloé the Bee Miraculous in the first place.

[flashbacks to “Malediktator” where Adrien “the perfect high road boy” made the comment about Chloe that encouraged Marinette to give her the bee in the first place, something they will very likely never address]

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Gabriel and Nathalie will have last-minute redemptions because "fAmiLy".

Aaaaand now I’m having Voltron flashbacks...

and Steven Universe flashbacks...

You know what, just most recent shows that have a villain related by family ties in some way.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Zoe and other new characters are Romantic Rhombus shippers/stans. (love square synonyms anon here; glad to know you liked them.)

I HATE IT

SOMEONE HAVE A UNIQUE OPINION, I’M BEGGING.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Luka and Kagami get new love interests. Bonus points if this is used to make their exes jealous.

Double bonus if the one paired with Luka is either terrible person/isn’t like Marinette at all, or is just “objectively better” than Marinette.

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow to know that there'll be an episode where Alya tries to help Marinette out with all the Ladybug things and Marinette is gonna get pissed because she's helping to much and possibly the kwamis like Alya more than her. Alya won't be akumatized, but Marinette's gonna learn a lesson about trusting her friends and not being so controlling because Marinette will have to trust Alya to give a miraculous to someone.

:|

Anonymous said:

Didn't need burrow: that Alya knowing Marinette is Ladybug and thus Lila being a liar isn't going to come up except for one episode and then never be mentioned again.

If they don’t address it in the very next episode I s2g--

Anonymous said:

Didn't need the Burrow: The season's finale will feature Shadow Moth empowered by Catalyst. He will have the most ridiculous name and outfit. Bonus: His grand plan fails mostly due to his owns stupidity

I’m only looking forward to the stupidity and nothing else.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will ultimately betray Marinette's confidence in order to prove that Marinette was wrong to trust her with her secret identity instead of Chat Noir.

The building blocks are already there, let’s be honest.

Bonus if Astruc acts as if Alya was “the best choice” and then cut to Alya’s betrayal (whether accidental or intentional) and he’ll act as if the writing is so clever.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Since Hawkmoth already knows Alya is Rena Rouge, Marinette will try giving her a different Miraculous to try throwing him off. This only serves to make Trixx jealous and cause friction between the kwami which is all blamed on Marinette.

Okay, the idea would be plausible if it weren’t for the fact that this would mean making new models.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The writers will steal another common fan concept by having Marinette entrust Nino with the Miracle Box. Su-Han will be upset at first, but accept Nino as a suitable candidate (possibly implying that he's better at it because, as a guy, he's not 'ruled by his emotions' like Marinette and proves better at keeping the kwami in line. Somehow).

It’s genius! His parents and other relatives don’t even exists outside of Chris, who only exists when it’s to torment Marinette when she has to babysit him!

There’s no one to find the box!! (except Alya, who Su-Han will be fine with knowing because he trusts Nino’s judgment)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will continue to push the pro-Adrien agenda down Marinette's throat, over any and all protests that she can't have a romantic relationship with ANYONE right now due to her various responsibilities. Alya will give lip-service to the idea that she'll help her with everything else, but in practice, her only real priority is shoving her towards Adrien every chance she gets and continuing her scheming to get them together.

The illusion of caring.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will wind up STEALING the Fox Miraculous from Marinette in order to become Rena Rouge again. This will be presented as entirely Marinette's fault, with Mari forced to apologize to HER for not 'trusting her more', despite Alya's actions throwing her trustworthiness into question.

“Bonus” if Marinette had trusted Alya with the code to open the Miracle Box’s compartment, yet sure, she needs to trust Alya “more,” okay.

differenttriumphdragon said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will still believe Lila at some point even though she now knows Marinette has a good reason not to trust her.

And this will not be portrayed as Alya’s fault but rather “Lila’s.” She’s just “too clever,” you guys!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will continue trusting Lila, accusing Marinette of lying about not being friends with her as Ladybug and insisting that she needs to 'give her a chance' as Marinette rather than letting jealousy get the better of her.

The thought alone makes my blood boil sjgnjdfjgnfdg

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The matter of how Alya refused to listen to any of Marinette's warnings about Lila will be glossed over with Alya making some lightly teasing remark about how 'You could have cleared this all up sooner if you'd just been honest with me, girl~'

Thus furthering the narrative that Marinette telling someone about her being Ladybug was “a choice.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will make a 'triumphant callback' to her remark in "Chameleon" about how journalists always check their sources. Referring, naturally, to how she now knows the truth from Ladybug herself... while completely ignoring how she dismissed all of Marinette's warnings before and refused to do any of her own research. Somebody will add this to ML's 'Crowning Moment of Awesome' page, praising it as an incredibly cool and well-earned moment of catharsis.

ugh

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Now that she knows Marinette = Ladybug, Alya will accuse her of two-timing Adrien with Chat Noir. She will refuse to believe any of Mari's insistence that she's NOT 'stringing Chat along'. Meanwhile we'll get more Sadrien as he mopes over LB continuing to deny their love.

“Bonus” if the fandom praises Alya for finally “calling Marinette out” because “Ladybug has never properly denied Chat Noir.” (but they’ll also deny that she should’ve done it more bluntly because “that would’ve hurt his feelings”)

[meanwhile, “Prime Queen” was a thing that happened and was publicly recorded]

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Upon realizing Lila deceived her, Alya will get PISSED. ...Not over anything she did to Marinette, but because she tricked her into posting false information on the Ladyblog. Other than snapping at Mari for 'not warning me', or scolding her if she starts complaining and 'trying to make it all about you', she won't acknowledge what her bEsT fRiEnD went through at all.

I--

...oh my gosh, I hate how plausible this sounds.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Hawkmoth will inexplicitly delay going after the families of the exposed superheroes until the writers can frame it as Marinette's fault. This likely involves Mari being forced to babysit Chris and/or the twins, and having to take them on an outing since she can't have them at the bakery due to the kwami. Cue akumatized kids/hostage situation, Nino/Alya angst and Mari being lambasted for her failures.

Kids, Marinette babysitting, and Marinette being blamed??

Wow, it’s like all the things I hate rolled into one convenient little package!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will use the fact that she knows Marinette's biggest secret to justify being even more invasive, insisting that she already knows Mari better than she knows herself.

“wE cAn tAlk wHerE aNd wHeN yOu wAnT”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Despite how their secret identities were exposed, Marinette will be pressured by both Alya and the kwamis to give her friends 'their' Miraculi back and give new Miraculi to other classmates. Her fears about this will be presented as unreasonable... until they come to pass in later episodes, at which point she'll be blamed for 'letting this happen'.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will pressure Marinette to trust the rest of the girl squad with Miraculi, with Mari taking the blame for anything and everything that goes wrong in the process.

*long, deep sigh*

Alternatively, Alya will pressure Marinette into giving miraculouses to already-revealed heroes (Rena I could at least see being excused due to being a long-distance fighter who can create illusions from a distance, but Carapace? lol no).

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The exposed superheroes will get magical makeovers to let them 'start fresh' and throw Hawkmoth off their trail. These new designs will be HEAVILY whitewashed, using the weak 'justification' that this will help hide their identities. Think Shanghai Special levels of appearance-shifting. Bonus points if Chat Noir tells the transformed Alya and Kagami they look prettier now.

I already hate it.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya is against Lila because she knows Marinette is Ladybug (not because she [Alya] trusts her).

Yyyyyup.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The Ladybug reveal to Alya is used for shipping purposes.

Well obviously!! Who else was going to comment on the oh-so-coveted LadyNoir???

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow to know that Alya will still believe Lila's lies, despite her knowing that Marinette is Ladybug now

Anonymous said:

Didn’t Need Burrow: Alya is still gonna be on Lila’s side despite now knowing Marinette is Ladybug.

Part of me wants to say, “No, they wouldn’t be that stupid,” but...

yeah...

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: There will be an episode where Marinette has to learn to respect the privacy and boundaries of others. Likely candidates for the recipient of her pesky prying are Juleka (because 'Friends don't keep secrets!' only applies to Mari), Adrien (because haha stalker) or another guy-'friend' like Nino (because guys are entitled to their privacy in ways girls are not). Alya will lecture Mari on being 'too nosy' and insist that SHE would NEVER go so far and knows to give others space.

THE HYPOCRISY!!!

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya doesn't believe Marinette, assuming that she's lying to her about being Ladybug. The scene of the kwami surrounding them was an end-of-episode fake-out and didn't actually happen/she didn't see them. Marinette is berated for spilling her secrets so 'easily'.

fdjkgdfjkgdfg okay but would we roll with that or nah considering at least that’d mean that Alya doesn’t technically know then??

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Jagged Stone's relationship with Marinette will sour since she broke his son's heart. Never mind that he's been a deadbeat dad for years; clearly HER slight against Luka is far worse, and he has every right to condemn and judge her for it.

Jagged, I swear, I want to keep liking you, don’t do this.

Especially because then it’s gonna seem like they made Jagged the dad just so he’d have some reason to be against Marinette, taking away yet another person who was on Marinette’s side.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien's antics will escalate to the point where he is openly and brazenly sacrificing others for the sake of his 'hilarious antics', such as getting them hit by akuma powers to pun off their plight. Ladybug gets blamed for failing to protect them.

Ladybug and Chat Noir are “equals” until Chat needs to be blamed for something, in which case Ladybug will take the heat.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a moment of jealousy, Adrien will sacrifice somebody else in the name of his own ego. Such as outing another hero, bringing an already outed heroes' loved ones to Shadow Moth's attention, getting more kwami caught by the villains... Naturally, Marinette gets all the blame and all the guilt from the fallout.

Of course!! Who else could possibly be blamed???

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a cliffhanger, Chat Noir needlessly sacrifices himself only for Shadowmoth to recall the akuma before Ladybug can purify it/do something else that leaves Chat Noir in limbo. Much angst and drama is mined from Ladybug's failure to save him; the fact he effectively did this to himself is never acknowledged.

Okay, that IS sad for Ladybug but would we honestly complain about Chat being stuck in limbo?

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a 'Shocking Twist', Hawkmoth's connection to *Chat Noir* will be revealed, causing Ladybug to flash back through all their interactions and question whether Chat Noir was ever TRULY on their side. Her moment of doubt will be treated as completely unreasonable and unfair, with Adrien stung deeply by her 'betrayal' and failure to 'trust in their love'.

all of my hate--

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette's anxiety will be depicted as the *cause* of said anxiety -- in other words, she'll be told that she's making mountains out of molehills and 'worrying over nothing'. Most likely by the very ones responsible for making her so anxious in the first place, treating problems *they caused* as a 'you problem'.

Don’t you guys know? Anxiety is always caused by the person having anxiety!

Trauma?? Root causes? What are those?

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Marinette will be forced to pass Guardianship to somebody else, but will NOT have to wipe her memories in the process. This is treated as a 'learning experience' with Marinette having to live with the knowledge that she simply wasn't up to snuff, with somebody else having to 'pick up her slack' and take over the responsibilities that she 'just couldn't handle'.

I still say the worst part of all this is that I - someone who hates memory loss plots - am half-hoping for her memories to be wiped just to free her from this hellscape.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Somebody else will take over as Guardian, and Tikki will guilt-trip Marinette for not being able to handle the responsibility on her own. Sighing about how nice and lively it was with the other kwamis around, and how quiet it is now that they're staying elsewhere, wistful about the 'good times' they had while failing to acknowledge how much of their excitement and enjoyment came at Mari's expense.

And just casually forgetting that Marinette’s own privacy was invaded by the kwami being around, but sure, their comfort was so much more important.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: During a battle, Marinette/Ladybug will have to sacrifice herself/APPEAR to sacrifice herself in a way reminiscent of Chat Noir's usual self-sacrifices. This will be absolutely necessary to create the opening they needed to win, but will be treated as senseless and unneeded. Everyone will berate her for it, especially Chat - and if she points out his own tendencies, he'll accuse her of pulling that stunt just to 'teach him a lesson' and punish him for being heroic.

*screams from a distance*

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Juleka doesn't get any dialogue outside of mumbling in her hero debut episode.

I’m half-expecting Juleka to be totally mumbly until a future Couffaine-centric episode where they’ll treat her talking as if it’s a huge deal.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: The show would end on a vague note. We don't know if the Love Square got together (they had a finale kiss and a confession.) We don't know what will happen to the rest of the plotlines, characters, and miraculouses.

We also don’t know when we’ll get the time we lost back.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Adrien switches sides after learning his father's motives, and is treated as 100% in the right for doing so. Marinette keeps fighting, and is blamed for everything Hawk/Shadowmoth does in his efforts to win.

“See, Marinette??? You didn’t aPpReCiAtE Chat enough!!!”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: In a 'Very Special Episode' of ML, somebody else gets to learn a lesson. It's Luka, who starts a new relationship with somebody else. It's shown that he learned from his mistakes with Marinette, and is more assertive and straightforward about his desires, and much happier for it. Meanwhile, Marinette's latest mistake is either being reluctant to let him move on... or letting him go because she foolishly 'wants him to be happy'.

(╯ಠ□ಠ)╯

The worst part is that they definitely won’t give a reason why Adrien > Luka outside of possibly “they have history” (fun fact that Hannah Montana back in the day - another show about a girl who led a double life - did this, except the guy she “had history with” - blond, famous, and rich - ended up cheating on her and she later pursued the other option properly - black-haired guitar boy who was way more flawed than Luka but was still endgame)

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Mylene will be treated as a better Multimouse than Marinette. Not because of any of her personality traits, but because she has more mass to draw from. This is trumpeted as 'body positivity'. (Bonus points if her design is still inexplicitly slimmed down by her transformation.)

I feel nothing but disgust from reading this, please apologize.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Juleka and Luka being twins/her being held back is confirmed by her getting bullied/mocked for her anxiety issues keeping her from completing assignments (flunking verbal reports, presentations). Alternately/in addition, it's revealed by Bustier while asking Marinette to help Juleka/fretting that she'll fail for similar reasons. Somehow, Bustier is still presented as a 'good teacher' despite being the one who held her back in the first place.

This will also be a reverse-”Gang of Secrets” where Luka doesn’t appear or has no input on the matter whatsoever.

“Bonus” if this ends up being used as the reason why Juleka has been mumbling for this whole season: they didn’t want her to be considered “stupid” so they retconned her to be more mumbly than before, which caused her to get held back.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: It's revealed that guys are normally incompatible with the Bee Comb because Pollen treats men like worker drones while all women are queens. Adrien is either an exception to this or gets to be Sadrien after he's briefly given the Bee and has to deal with Pollen going Full Sass on him, with her severe critiques being presented as totally wrong no matter how dead-on her analysis of his character actually is. Jokes are made about her 'poor judgement'.

:|

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Flashbacks will reveal that Gabriel had a similar personality to Marinette when he was younger. Unlike her, HIS anxieties will be treated as more serious/endearing, rather than something to be mocked and belittled -- think his own version of Sadrien. The parallels drawn between them may also be used to cast Marinette in a worse light/imply that she could go down the same path as him.

I hate how plausible “male character has anxiety but is treated properly” is.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be the next Chloe; trusting her despite her clear personality flaws is ultimately shown to be another of Marinette's mistakes. Just like Chloe is an unrepentant bully, Alya is an 'aspiring journalist' first and foremost, and this will override whatever faith her BFF put in her.

THE PARALLELS CONTINUE.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: After Alya's eventual but inevitable betrayal, Trixx will defend her by reminding Marinette that 'She's a Fox. Foxes lie.' He's not even particularly *surprised* by Alya breaking her promises, treating it as proof that she's one of *his*. And it's not on him for not warning Mari, but entirely her fault for failing to recognize what being a Fox truly means.

You can’t trust foxes, Marinette, and that’s what makes them great.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Su-Han will constantly veto Marinette's ideas, ESPECIALLY ones that would have prevented problems that arise later on... which she then gets blamed for not averting. If she actually calls Su-Han out on this, he will insist that the fault falls upon her for not convincing him... if he even acknowledges that he was wrong/she actually suggested things that could have averted disaster.

“But--”

“No.”

“It makes so much se--”

“No.”

“YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN TO WHAT I HAD TO SAY--”

“No.”

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: An episode will LITERALLY get on Marinette's case for breathing -- while hiding from an akuma with super-sensitive hearing, her needing air causes problems. Bonus points if she's breathing heavily after getting injured saving Chat Noir from being hurt due to his messing about; cue Drama and Sadrien without acknowledging his true culpability in the matter. (I.E. "It's all my fault! D:" "No, no, *cough* I should have dodged better..." "Fear not, my lady, I'll protect you!")

Miraculous: Tales of Marinette Not Even Being Allowed to Breathe

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: We'll see more in-universe merch and marketing of the heroes, their images stolen and sold without permission. Ladybug is dismayed and disturbed, while Chat dismisses it; he's financially secure and doesn't care how his image is (mis)used, while Marinette's concern is treated as 'silly'. Why is she so bothered by dolls with unrealistic proportions and painted-on suits, or ones that gussy her up to make her more overtly girly and marketable?

Bonus if this is also an episode where Marinette is strapped for cash due to possible gifts for friends or all the things she used to make for Adrien (i.e: more proof that her Adrien crush just makes her life worse), and she will be treated as greedy/selfish for wanting something out of her hero work.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya declares the LadyBlog to be officially endorsed by Ladybug herself, and that all of her information is verified by the heroine. This is a blatant lie, as she continues not to do any fact-checking or run anything by Marinette, and acts as though MARI is wrong for trying to call her out on this.

Alya will also be treated as in the right for taking advantage of the opportunity because “she deserved to know” and “should be getting extra rights” as Marinette’s best friend.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Gabriel is shown monitoring the LadyBlog and using information he gleans from it more and more. If Marinette expresses any concern about this to Alya, she gets dismissed as 'paranoid' and 'jumping at shadows'.

And, similarly to “Feast,” Alya will never be called out because the narrative will conveniently never make the connection to Alya or force Alya to realize that this was a mistake.

Anonymous said:

Didn't Need Burrow: Alya will be responsible for exposing Ladybug's secret identity to Chat Noir. Chat then gets *furious* at Marinette for telling her and not HIM, using this as an excuse to not reveal his *own* identity, sarcastically parroting back all her warnings about how 'It's just not safe' for them to know.

Totally ignoring the fact that Marinette was on verge of a breakdown in “Gang of Secrets.”

Sorry, Marinette, guess you should’ve let yourself plummet.

[beholdthemem]

...honestly, every time we see Tsukasa’s empire I know we’re supposed to be intimidated but what I keep thinking is how lonely it seems.

Always the fighting. Always the posturing at each other, and potential backstabbing, and the need to be the best because only the strongest survive. Apart from Taiju and Yuzuriha, (and whatever weird co-dependency thing Homura and Hyoga have going on) I don’t think anybody over there has somebody they’d consider a friend, per say. Ally, maybe. But somebody you’d trust not to sell you out, were your backs to the wall? No.

The people who seem happiest there are Tsukasa’s cannon fodder dudes (who have been waiting their entire lives for an excuse to beat people up with no legal consequences), Tsukasa’s fangirls (Who would never have had a chance to see him in the flesh back in the old world and are thanking whatever petrified them every day) and Tsukasa himself. The others just seem... wary. 

Gen claims to have zero guilt about switching sides purely because he cares about himself and wants to be with whoever wins. I don’t think that’s completely untrue, but... I think the fact that people in the village were kind to him was also a factor, and a bigger one than he’ll admit. 

Not all of them, obviously, (thanks MAGMA) but... they shared food with him. They bitched and moaned about having to power Senku’s furnace alongside him. When somebody hurt him, others found him, carried him to safety, and did their absolute best to give him medical attention. Hell, after the Grand Bout, even after watching him allegedly cast sorcery on Magma, people are still offering Gen food, sake, and a place by the fire with no ulterior motives. “Come join us, mentalist! It’s a celebration!”

Like, the people of the Kingdom of Science may take some time to get used to you, but once they do, you are an unquestioned part of their home. They’ll share with you, they’ll fight for you, they’ll tease you and complain both with and at you, have your back when everything is falling apart- you’re one of them. It feels like you’re part of a family.

If I knew that was an option, I wouldn’t want to go back to Tsukasa’s thunderdome either.

I wonder how many people are just with Tsukasa because they feel like there’s nowhere else to go? Like, his manifesto about how adults ruined the world makes me think that a lot of the people he’s reviving are probably kids.

I wonder how many of them would jump ship if they were offered genuine companionship and a home to come back to.

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

I’ve lost to temptation so here it is

My interpretation of magolor lets fucking go

So first section: How this bitch works

So Magolor is from Halcandria, a planet who’s core is essentially magic. There’s so much magic on this single planet that it leaked into the life and even some objects that could contain it. Magolor is no exception. Magic energy is essentially stored in a second heart (tho it’s more of a container than a heart), and runs through the body very similar to blood. It’s created and flows through his body, and allows for things like his eye glow, floating, and obviously powers. When he’s asleep, it regenerates. If there’s already enough magic energy while he’s asleep, it disposes of the old magic mostly by floating in sleep or by more severe means like insomnia aka magical overdose (which I’ve gone over before).

Next, is the glowing eyes!! Why he have that, I’ll tell ya. It makes it easier to detect other halcandrians as well as make it easier to detect light such as fire. Which is very useful when you need to look through ashy clouds and make sure a giant rock isn’t about to slam into you from above. It’s also a way to show the health of a halcandrian. Though the eyes glow yellow, they have a brown color very similar to their fur. If they’re sick or very unhealthy, they lose their glow and it slowly reverts to the brown color.

As a side effect of the master crown though, Magolor’s magic energy got boosted by the crown so he didn’t just die instantly by overwhelming power. It sounds like a good thing on paper, having so much energy to the point where he can fight non stop without getting tired magically, but magic overdose due to him not being able to deplete enough of it fast enough is a bitch. He gets sick a lot easier, bad insomnia, as well as occasionally using magic without realizing. So this clears out how he works and shit!! Now onto...

Before RTDL

So before RTDL Magolor had little social skills or experience with interacting with other people that wasnt lying to them to get them to do stuff. It was just how Halcandria worked. People kept to themselves and if you needed help you’d have to twist the truth in order to convince them. Relationships of any kind are very rare in Halcandria as well.

So when he met Marx, it was weird. He originally planned to let him stay until he got better and told him about why he was found in a Nova’s wreckage, so he could hopefully get Marx to lead him to something else he could use to defeat Landia. It didn’t go as planned. Marx was an unpredictable dude who immeadiatly fell for Magolor (but mags didn’t notice cause he’s never experienced someone else crushing or a crush) and due to that Marx spent a lot of time with Magolor during recovery and grew on him. He also ended up showing Magolor what friendship was, and honestly: magolor liked it. He liked having someone around. It was a nice change, and it was nice to have someone around to help (and rarely give him affection). So, Magolor wanted Marx to rule the universe with him once he killed Landia. He didn’t want Marx to leave. Though things started going downhill when an accident happened one time while exploring and Magolor was distracted, leaving to Marx having to use Nova’s power to make sure Magolor was safe.

And Magolor was fascinated, and god he was excited. He pried Marx for questions about his wings, constantly stared at them when they were out, and started talking about if he and Marx used their combined powers they could finally kill Landia and get what they want. But Marx didn’t want to. His want for power by then left, and he knew the consequences. He was happy just hanging out with Mags, and didn’t want to risk his life fighting a dragon with a crown of infinite power. But Magolor, despite liking the change of company, was used to being a loner and believed he could do it again since he’s halcandrian. He said Marx could leave if he didn’t want to, and that was when Marx started to see just how desperate Magolor was for the Master Crown. It was all too similar to his own desperation with Nova, and all words were useless and failed to change Magolor’s mind. So Marx left, and Magolor continued. He felt a little bad (and lonely) but pushed it down and decided no turning back and opted to modifying the Starcutter more like a weapon and attacking Landia that way, but failing.

Though he had a backup plan, thanks to Marx. Which brings me to..

The Betrayal

So this is RTDL time, before the betrayal. His back up plan was going to the pink hero Marx ranted about and using them to get the crown. After all, if they could defeat someone with the gift of Nova’s power, they could defeat a wyvern with a crown. They landed, and Magolor met everyone, but he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain someone. Chilly, who volunteered to stay with him while the others collected the spheres and parts (tho it was because he was suspicious). Mags didn’t know this, and assumed he was being nice. So the second person who (he thought) was being friendly with him enough to stay with him, and fill that hole Marx accdientally left by leaving him. He couldn’t not get attatched. He became REALLY REALLY clingy, and did as much as he could to keep himself focused as well as make sure they were friends. It backfired, making Chilly agitated most of the time, but it also semi worked later on. Most of his time between the betrayal and his crash landing was spent monitoring everyone’s progress, and trying to get Chilly to like him so he could do what he had to do during the betrayal.

Now during the betrayal! The closer he got to achieving the crown again, the more desperate and ooc he got. By the time he was at Halcandria, there’d be no way to talk him out of it, since he was THIS close. But there was still one thing wrong that he assumed the crown would fix: he couldn’t go back to being alone. He assumed he would adjust, since that’s how it’s been for his whole life. But now, that he’s actually had two people really close to him (and one leave) that showed him affection and didn’t only use him like in Halcandria, he didn’t want to go back to being alone. He couldn’t. But he came too far to turn back, and continued anyway (not like he ever changed his mind, but he did have moments of doubt). He told Chilly to stay in the Starcutter, wanting to keep him safe, which obviously didn’t go well for him when Chilly responded with freezing the ship from the inside to stop Magolor from using it in its attacks.

And of course, when Magolor sees this, he has a moment of “oh shit I can’t let him do this. I can’t lose someone else.” And tries to convince Chilly to join him. He talks about the two of them ruling and even giving Chilly Popstar to rule. He means it. He wants someone with him, somebody that he genuinely loves and treats him like a friend. He assumed that if he didn’t force Chilly into working with him like Marx, he would join in the end. And like any person with common sense, Chilly denies, loyal to Kirby and Popstar. THIS was the moment Magolor became truly desperate, he tries to convince Chilly to join him but he can barely get any words other than “but you were only friend” out while crying (in the middle of battle lol). Kirby and everyone take this chance to attack, while Magolor is just kind of broken. He fucked up again.

And he’ll be alone.

He has one thing left now, and that’s the power to rule the universe.

And he’s desperate to have this one thing go right for him, and he uses the remaining power of the Master Crown... which brings me to the next topic!

The Master Crown

Full section for the master crown let’s go. It gets its dark power from a leader/creator of dark matter (think 0), and is sentient. It only knows to shroud the world in darkness, and will do whatever it takes to get it. It’s powers are held at bay by Landia, who is Halcandria’s guardian and can resist its powers due to being a magic guardian. Magolor however, isn’t a magic guardian, and can’t resist. To him, it’s a shiny piece of jewelry that’ll make him strong so things can finally go his way.

The way it works is by drawing people in, like a venus fly trap. It just amplify people’s interest in it, as well as bring out the more negative traits about them that makes them easier to control. The most common traits is desperation, impulsiveness, frustration, and determination. And once the crown is on their head, it locks on and is irremovable and works like a parasite, basically completely erasing whoever put it on and molding them to the perfect puppet. Magolor essentially just sped up the process completely by using the last of its power in a desperate attempt to get what he wanted.

After the Betrayal

Magolor, after the betrayal, is left just floating around Another Dimension. He’s exhausted, in a lot of pain, and completely magically drained. He couldn’t even float if he tried, and that uses the bare minimum of magic. He’s stuck here for a long time, and at first, he’s extremely frustrated and upset. He spends a lot of time replaying the events in his head (not magolor soul, he has no memories of that aside from snippets that come into his dreams that are partially due to the master crown’s lasting effect) and just getting more and more angry at everything. He was so close to having control over EVERYTHING, and he lost it over himself the second he used the rest of the power. He was infuriated that he manged to let that stupid puffball beat him, along with their friends.

He cries, screams, shouts, but it doesn’t matter. Rage can only last so long, and it’s not much before he’s just exhausted and tired. He’s given up on escaping, knowing he can’t. He cant form a dimensional portal strong enough to pull him out of a dimension. He only has the skill to use it for teleportation. After a few days, he’s accepted what happened, that this is his fate. He hates being alone, floating in space with no silly jester to crack a joke or scratch his head, and no snowman who’s bell jingled with an adorable tune whenever he laughed and even gave him hugs. He ends up getting habits of scratching his head (despite the pain because of master crown injuries) and hugging himself as a way to fill that hole the two left when leaving. He misses them, and starts to regret going after the crown in the first place. He comes up with scenarios in his head to pass the time as he basically waits for himself to rot. He imagines apologizing and having his friends back. He imagines Marx somehow finding him similar to how Magolor found him. He imagines not being alone, and being happy. Not plagued by agonizing exhaustion and self fury. He even comes to miss Kirby and their friend one he actually realizes the kindness they showed him, since he was too focused before to realize.

He spends a few days in the hell dimension before he finds something. He ends up finding an energy sphere that floats past that was lost during the battle. He grabs and clings to it, now having only one thing from before. It doesn’t make the loneliness any better, but it does make things a little less bareable. But of course, energy spheres are a sphere doomer’s favorite snack, and it doesn’t take long before one comes along really wanting it.

Magolor at first, pushes it away desperate to keep this one thing he had before, and the sphere doomer keeps coming back desperately wanting its food. Eventually, Magolor and the sphere doomer form a slight bond since this was when Magolor started slowly regaining magic again and tries attacking it with his revolution orbs, but it’s just a treat for the sphere doomer. The sphere doomer keeps coming back for more treats and another attempt at a snack, and Magolor feels a little less lonely. Over time, he actually gains enough of its trust to pet it and even talks to it. He names her Lor II.

Lor II is the reason he gets out of Another Dimension and back to Halcandria, via opening a rift. Lor II basically gives Magolor a second chance to make things right, and he immeadiatly takes it. Of course, he has to steal the Starcutter to do it, but he makes his way to Popstar to apologize, because he REALLY regrets his major fuck up and at the very least, he can make things better (and maybe get a chance at being less lonely).

So that’s all I got lmao hope you enjoyed

[josiecarioca]

Waiting (one-shot)

Requested by @artisticreptilequeen and @latitsoso

Summary: Soren Snape has chosen a lonely path for himself that not even his closest friend can help him walk. 

(Soren Snape x Audrey Blake, characters mentioned: Severus Snape,Evelyn Black and Eloise Snape)

Also available on Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/works/30010311

Tagging:  @snapescapades  @mafagafobebum  @marvelschriss @codename-thedoctor @zealouspickleeggdragon @green-oasis @drawnfromthedead @snapescapadesafterdark @serosvit @snapecentric @hayalee8 @oliverlandomens @sleepysnapesnake @lily-themadqueen-andpinky @paracosim @the-witches-son @aikersen @violet-knox @viper-official @be-zoar @thepomegranatejuice @alwyssnpe @siriuslysircadogan @hbprincealice

     …

“Soren, are you alive?”

Soren opened his eyes and looked around, searching for that familiar voice. He didn't know the place around him. It looked nice enough, though. A small livingroom, with teal colored walls covered in classic movie posters and a moon themed tapestry hanging next to a tall bookcase, loads of colorful cushions and, in front of him, a square coffe table with food and cooking themed hardcovers and a notebook filled with a round and small handwritting he knew all too well. He found himself laying on a soft white couch, “Golden Girls” was playning on the TV in front of him.

He sat up, feeling as if the room was moving around him like a ship in open sea. His clothes were sticking to him, tight and uncomfortable and his mouth was so dry he felt a bitter taste in his tongue. He didn´t remember drinking any water since right after curtain call.

Soren heard the sound of something frying, before the smell hit him. His stomach growled. He couldn't remember when he had last eaten anything that day.

“You´re getting glitter all over my couch.” that voice...Soren shook his head, suddenly angry at himself. How had he ended up here of all places? Idiot!

“Audrey, I...” he called out but his head felt like it just about split in two when he raised his voice. “I mean...how did I...”

“Here...” the voice approached. He looked up and there she was. Audrey, in a dusty pink turtleneck wool dress that hugged her plump figure, black leggings and boots, her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail, with thick bangs framing her roud, dollish face. She looked like she was either going to a date or  coming back home from one when he, at least he assumed, crashed-landed at her door.

She held a plate in front of his face and it smelled something like heaven is supposed to smell.

“This is what you eat when you're flat on your arse drunk, if I recall correctly. Rashers, eggs benedict and your mother's cheddar, chive and potato pancakes. Right?”

“You...know how to make mam´s pancakes? ” he smiled, hoping foolishly that small talk would delay the earfull he was about to get. “She never gave anybody this recipe. Not even my cousins.”

“I lived with your parents for a whole year remember? I've seen auntie Lyn make this more times than I can count.”

Even though he felt like somebody had taken an axe to his skull and split it clean in two, Soren had to smile.

“Thank you. You didn't have to.”

“I sort of did have to, though” she let out, sounding tired “I found you laying on my doorstep, looking healf dead. Trust me, I was tempted to just walk around you and leave you there, but then what would I say next time I visit your parents? Besides, my landlord and neighbours wouldn't be too happy. Here, you´re going to need this. You must be dehydrated.”

She put a gallon of water on the table in fronto of him. Soren shugged nearly half of it before he could even begin to think about eating.

“Now, pray tell...what has gotten into you?” she crossed her arms and stood before him, looking far taller than her 5 feet, maybe 5'3 including the boots. Soren looked at her, pleased to notice she had put on weight. She looked like her normal self again, he thought. Last time he'd seen her she looked gaunt, almost.

“What do you mean?”

“What do I mean? Is it a normal occurence for you to prance about town drunk off you mind and pass out in front of people´s doors dressed like Beetlejuice and Dr. Frank'n'Furter's lovechild?”

“Oh, this!” Soren looked down at himself, finally remembering...

The effin' costume. Yeah, she was right. Her neighbours wouldn't be none too pleased to see a 6´2  man in full make-up wearing a leather corset-garter combo with stockings and high heels under a stripped trenchcoat passed out drunk in the hallway.

“I was...working.”

“Working? Is this an honest-to-God opera costume, or the Ministry for Magic had you go undercover in a fetish brothel?”

“Costume. The Ministry doesn´t usually have me dress up nice and sexy  when they want to get me fucked. Hardly pay me as well as they should for it either.”

“What opera are you in this time around?”

“Orphée aux enfers...Our director decided to give the  Kosky version a run for its money, so of course genderfuck drag was the way to go. Because why the fuck not? ”

“We're just going to pretend like you didn't love the idea...” she smirked. That was good...he hoped.

“Well, yeah, we decided to have a few drinks after the performance, and Henri thought it would be hilarious to just go out partying in full costume.”

“Who?”

“Henri Fournier...he played Orpheus”

“Of course...” Audrey, sighed, no longer amused.

“He's a riot, you should meet him.” Stop digging, Soren. She´s already mad at you, no need to act like a bufoon.

“And you should shower and change.”

“I´m afraid I don't have anything to change into...Unless, what's his name, your...”

“Ethan, his name is Ethan.”

“Yeah, him, unless he doesn´t mind me borrowing his things...”

“I´ll see if he left something here...”

“Left...I thought you two were...”

“He moved out.”

“When was that? Last we talked you we...”

“Come on, finish eating go have a shower, I'll find something for you to wear.”

“Hey, Shortcake, I...” He let out without even thinking. It had been so long since he last called her that, years maybe, but somehow it just poured from his lips.

“Don't...call me that.”

“I'm sorry...I really am. About this whole thing as well, I really don't know how I ended up at your door, I would never...”

“You don't have to apologize. Just eat, take your shower and...” she sighed “...we´ll see.”

…

Soren was tripping over himself so badly Audrey had half a mind to offer help. But eventually he got himself to the bathroom. She glued her ear to the door, half expecting to hear him collapse inside. The sound of the water running reassured her enough to step away and try to find something for him to wear, hoping Ethan had forgotten at least a pair of shorts or something.

Typical Soren to put her in this situation without even thinking. He never did think, did he?  Just did whatever he wanted to do and everything else be damned. Nevermind that his parents were constantly worried sick about him, that his sister had to keep calling him to remind him he had a family and he should go see them sometime. Audrey was almost sure neither his father nor his mother knew what he was up to.

That he was spying for the. ministry.

His father would never allow it.

Audrey had been only a spectator, entirely foreign to their world of magic and wars no one of her kind was supposed to know, but she knew well enough, apparently even better than Soren, that it was a disastrous idea for the son of Severus Snape to be a spy. To collect inteligence about the very same criminals who still had a reward out for his father's head. Soren was born with a target on his back. Even as a child, Death Eaters had tried to get to him, the same with his sister, Eloise. And why wouldn't they? What better revenge on the man who brought down their leader than to harm his children? Audrey knew from hearing whispers and bits and pieces of conversations when she had lived with his parents in Glencoe, right after deciding to go no contact with her mother. She knew from what Eloise told her, in a vain, desperate attempt to get her to help knock some sense into her brother.

But Audrey also knew there was nobody on earth who could keep Soren from doing what he wanted. Sometimes she was tempted to tell Severus and Evelyn what he was doing behind their back. If they knew...They thought Soren was travelling around the world singing. A successful baritone, touring Salzburg, Paris, New York, Lord knew where else. Surely that shouldn´t prevent him from coming home now and then, however...But he would go months without showing up, so his parents, maybe, just thought that if he didn´t show up for Christmas or Easter it was because he was somewhere in a nightclub or a bar, partying. And sometimes that was true, but not always. At times, she wondered how and when they would find out, and hoped it wasn´t through some tragedy.

But...sometimes she also wondered if they didn't already know. If they were just waiting for him to finally be honest with them. Maybe neither Severus nor Evelyn could bring themselves to believe Soren would do that to them, so they acted like they didn't suspect, when in reality, they knew. Maybe they were just hoping he'd show himself worthy of their trust. Just waiting for him to come around.

So Audrey said nothing. It wasn't her place to, after all. If Eloise hadn´t, then she certainly had no right.

She finally found something. And old t-shirt and some pajama pants. Good thing Ethan was tall, she thought. This would do for Soren to at least make it back home, or wherever he was staying in London. Come to think of it...She shook her head and left the clothes on the bed where he could find once he was done showering.

“Soren?”  She called once the water stopped running and she could hear him in her bedroom.

“Yeah?” he sounded a bit more sober.

“I'll call your sister, do you have her girlfriend's number? Maybe they can pick you up.”

Soren didn't answer answer immediately. Instead he took his time to get dressed and came back to the livingroom, sat on the couch and took another swig of water from the bottle.

“So, should I call her?”

“I would literally rather you hand me over to a dementor.”

“Maybe if I knew how. Eloise is my next best choice.”

“Eloise will never let me hear the end of it.”

“She wouldn'r be wrong, now would she?”

He didn't answer. He just made that face. That face he put on when he knew he was wrong, when he knew he had no good excuse. The corners of his mouth turned slightly upwards in an odd, clumsy smile, and his nostril flared slightly as he breathed out, then he looked away. Thinking of the next joke, of the charming comment that would deflect questioning, the next change of subject.  Had been that way since he was a boy. Soren always knew when to leave an argument well enough alone. This way he wouldn't have to admit he was wrong.

“As soon as my head doesn´t feel like the the 1812 overture is playing on surround sound inside my skull, I can see myself out.” she shrugged with that devil may care grin that could get him whatever he wanted.

Audrey sighed. She didn´t have the energy to argue, And true to be told, if she hadn't found him passed out drunk at her door after nearly a year of no contact whatsoever, she would be happy he was there. Wasn´t this what they used to do, back when things were different? Staying up at night, huddled up on the couch, watching old TV programmes reruns till the wee hours of the night? She missed that. She missed having Soren around, she missed his stupid jokes, his impromptu performances. She missed him singing “Largo al factotum” early in the morning as he shaved, his voice filling her bathroom till the upstairs neighbours complained.

But she didn´t miss what came with it. She didn´t miss the disappearances, the weeks and months without a single phone call, the excuses, the worry, the panic...

“You already ruined my couch with all that sodding makeup” she sighed, sitting next to him “Might as well spend the night. But you´ll have to be out before noon. I´m working the lunch shift this week.”

“How's that going? Mam told me you made it to sous-chef.”

“Yeah, which sounds impressive until you realize it just means I'm the first in line to be verbally abused when Bastianinni wakes up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“I worked with a Bastianinni once...It was for the best sharp knives are not part of our line of work, or the whole cast would have used him for target practice, down to the children's choir. When a tenor decides to be a diva, oof...”

“So, you´ve been talking to your mother?”

“Yeah, I called her and dad last week from Salzburg...to apologize for not showing up for Christmas again. She told me you were there.”

“I was. I assume that's how you got my address...”

“I...I mean...is not like she” Soren stammered like a little boy caught with his hand in the biscuit tin.

“Did you really think your mother would give you my address if I didn't tell her it was ok?” Audrey smiled “I´m just surprised you asked.”

“Why wouldn't I ask?”

“You tell me...For the past four years I´ve seen more of your parents and your sister than I´ve seen you. And you don't call anybody, just go off for months on end...”

“You know why that is...”

“I do. That´s why I don't wait for you anymore. It's pointless. But then when I give up waiting, you decide to show up.”

“Is not like I planned to just...”

“You never do.”

“Audrey, I...”

“I´ll get you a pillow and some covers, it's getting late.” She couldn't let him speak. If he started he'd take her in again. And before she knew it, she would be waiting again...for a phone call, a message, waiting for that moment she'd finally be fully a part of his world. A moment that would never come, no matter how long she waited. Not for her and not for anybody else. Soren had chosen a rocky path that only fit the steps of one person: himself. She couldn´t walk with him, and it would be fooolish to wait for him to come back any time soon.

“You said you were working lunch shift tomorrow.” the sweetness on his voice reached her as she got up from the couch, disarming. “Can´t you stay a little while longer?”

[depreshroom]

Analyzing Krel, episode 1.

The titles a work not-in-progress. So, for once in my life I’m actually doing something that I said I’d do. Look at that! Me watching over my son Krel! I promise I do NOT hate Coranda, Fialkov, or Aja lmao. Again, this is just stuff I noticed and wanted to point out. I’d like to think it makes sense, but then again...maybe it doesn’t. Under the cut because it’s probably long af.

To start off, Krel is a very complicated character in the sense that he’s not only different from literally everybody else, but in the way he expresses himself, his relationship with his parents and other things that I will hopefully later type out.

Beginning from episode 1, we start off with him y’know doing his little tech genius thing over there before his coronation and a few things did happen to stick out to me. 

For one, as his father comes in to discuss that Aja has left, Krel is in no way shocked, surprised or even the slightest bit of hurt that we know of. Instead he seems closer to the side of simply accepting of it. Even if he did seem a little exasperated. Yes, we do know that he receives this news constantly but then again, coronation was no ordinary day even before the coup. It was their SHARED coronation for goodness sake. Knowing Krel, that seems like it would be a bigger deal. He even knows the drill when his father comes to it.

“It’s fine she is a... free spirit.” Would definitely like to note that he says that “it’s fine, she is a..” automatically. He’s done this a million times before, it’s cool. But immediately after that he pauses for a split second, which leads me to assume that this is a moment where Krel is questioning one of two things. (Or even both.)

Either a) he’s trying to find a reason why it is fine, why on this day in particular it’s justified that he’s alone in this, in his life and future really, because it’s fine obviously or b) he’s questioning if her being a free spirit actually is fine. Why should he be alone simply because Aja is this “free spirit” huh? She can be both as Queen. 

But, nonetheless he goes through with what he was saying. After discussing this he continues on to have this conversation with his father:

“One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”

“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”

“Of course you’re not ready to be a king. No one ever is.”

“What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”

“If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”

I have so many thoughts about this Fialkov...oh my god.

Starting off with this, “One day, you will be king, your mother and I will be gone, and you and Aja will be all the other has.”

FIRST OF ALL, what a terrible thing to bring up as a conversation starter. My baby boy just sitting there minding his business, a little bummed bout his sister but mostly alright, and this man just comes up and talks about how lonely he’ll be with Aja, his sister who is currently runniing away. Like, dang I imagine I wouldn’t feel too good after that either. Especially if that’s what hyping me up to become ruler of a planet is supposed to be. So, of course I wouldn’t think it’d be too unexpected when Krel asks about being king.

Krel, probably not reassured, goes on to say:“What if i’m not ready to be a king?”

What I find interesting about this is that Fialkov was discussing death, he was talking about Krel having nobody but his sister. Yet, what Krel asked in return was if he was ready, no--he said “what if i'm not”.  Generally, Krel isn’t portrayed as somebody with low confidence but that’s because he was in his element. What’s so important about the first episode in any show is that it gives us insight to who the character was beforehand. This isn’t the same Krel we see even later in this episode. Later in this exact episode, Krel was confident enough to fix an akiridion ship. A crashing ship. That was being shot at. Upside down. Being driven by Zadra. 

-Krel “‘why is Aja’s bounty higher than mine’ as he nearly goes unconscious from a punch to the nose by Steve” Tarron could hang upside down whilst fixing a crashing akiridion ship and be shot at at the same time. And that, my friend, was simply because he was in his element. However, when we look at him talking to his father about being king, all that pride seems as if it didn’t even exist, as if it was never there to begin with. 

I’ll get back to this a few times too as I go through the episodes. Actually here how about this, a dash (-) means something that will be referenced again.

Even worse as we move through this conversation is that Fialkov tells him that of course he isn’t ready. I-this sounds like he’s really trying to be helpful but also not adjusting the situation to his own son. It’s like hitting the wounded. Krel is already on edge, only to be told that he’s not ready because nobody is ever ready. May I ask, what is that information going to do for him? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

-Krel, once again, proving my assumption that he’s not reassured, rephrases it: “What I mean is, what if I’m not good enough?”

-That’s a vital question. While yes, throughout the show Krel shows his moment’s of confidence, once again, this is the part of Krel we started out with. The funny thing is that although it was in reference to becoming King, the part about King isn’t tacked onto the sentence. Without the context, this question is simply “what if I’m not good enough?” Why isn’t Krel asking specifically about King, even more fascinating, as we’ll later explore Krel seems to have a complicated relationship with his parents. And Krel isn’t talking to anybody but his father, he’s pleading for validation. And honestly he needs it because at this point, he’s alone.

And finally the last line: “If I know anything, my son, it is that life is a series of choices, it’s what we choose in small moments that makes these choices better or worse. You will not face these choices alone because you will always have your family, even your sister.”

Fialkov tells Krel that the small choices in life are what matters the most. He will not face these choices alone because he always has his family… I’m sorry but did he not JUST SAY that he and Coranda would die one day? And yes he says that he will even have his sister, but he JUST got done talking about how Aja is a free spirit which apparently means it’s justified for her to run away. Coranda even says at the beginning of episode 1 to a frustrated Fialkov: “You know your daughter, Aja’s spirited.” As if that makes her running away okay, she even says it in a sort-of smile. Most importantly: He didn’t tell Krel that he would and/or be good enough. He didn’t even reference Krel’s question really. Krel never heard those words, never even heard his Papa talk about it. Imagine how this fifteen year old boy, nervous as hell sitting here apparently alone feels when he asks his father “what if he isn’t good enough?” and that question is ignored completely in favor of talking about how it’s alright because he has his family. -That is something that is often shown to hurt Krel, not being recognized but being overlooked for his sister, and in some ways not being good enough. That’s something that affects Krel a lot, and is shown to be something that makes him incredibly upset but happens multiple times. Fialkov avoided the question entirely giving off the impression that Krel is indeed, not good enough.

All together, in that conversation, there’s a pattern here. Fialkov is consistently bringing up the negatives of Krel’s situation. Soon, he’s going to be left with his sister who’s always running away because his parents will one day die which leaves him in charge of everything and he is already at a point where he doesn’t even know if he’s good enough. On top of that, he has to focus on the small moments now because those are the most important apparently. -Not to mention, his father never did tell Krel that he was good enough.

-Immediately after this Krel finishes his invention and exclaims “I did it!” That’s the first time he sounds genuinely excited and surprised. It was something he made by himself and was obviously very proud of despite the fact that he’s a tech extraordinaire. This supposedly comes easy to him, but yet there’s still a shock factor---even if it is small---that he managed it. As if yes, he was trying but he didn’t think actually could do it.

We also see Zadra arrive to tell them that it’s time to go. Krel says that Fialkov should “speak for himself” when saying they’re ready. (Good to see he’s still a smartass.) That’s only before telling himself  “Fine. I’m ready.”, then sees the audience and immediately goes “I guess.” Once again, an act of nervousness and second guessing the entire being “King” thing.

One thing I find incredibly fun to think about is the fact that Krel’s parents insist he smiles and waves no matter what. Walk out to claim your fate for the rest of your hundreds of years? Smile and Wave. Be ripped limb from limb by Vex? Smile and wave. One could assume that’s part of his tendency to bottle up his emotions, especially since he’s portrayed as the child that tries harder for his parents. One could also assume that this is how it is for him normally, this sentence is no different than “you know your daughter, Aja’s spirited” because that’s really what he has to do all the time. Aja gets to run away and he doesn’t, he just has to suck it up and deal with it. 

Side note: I love how an entire coup happens so Aja asks Krel if he’s scared and he says “I am now the King-In-Waiting, I am terrified.” I do realize that he says he won’t be scared as long as he has Aja in episode two but, you’re telling me, after everything that just went down, Krel is terrified because he’s the king-in-waiting? The throne was just fucking usurped Krel! Oh my god, I love my baby boy who has no brain cells.

By now, we’ve seen the first impression of Fialkov and Krel’s relationship which I wouldn’t say is exactly good, but later in the episode Aja has a flashback to when she runs away past curfew and her mother gives her some insight. This is how that conversation goes:

-“Royals don’t need to skulk under the cover of darkness.” (This. This is incredibly important, but I’m not going to touch on that until the last episode unfortunately.)

“They do when they don’t want to be caught staying up past curfew. I can’t be what you want me to be, I can’t be a royal.”

“No one gets to choose their station in life Aja.”

“Maybe I’ll be the first.”

“There are those that would trade their life cores for royalty.”

“And I would trade my royalty for a life. A normal life.”

“You’re remarkable Aja.”

“You say that because you are my mother.”

“Royal or not, you are extraordinary, that is what you are constantly running away from. You could leave this palace, fly far away from our world...and your destiny would follow you.”

First of all just glancing at this, what a difference between Krel and Fialkov. Coranda immediately tells Aja that she is amazing as soon as she says she would want a normal life. She goes on about how amazing Aja is, which is great because she is, but that versus Fialkov not even saying anything about whether Krel is good enough or not is a BIG difference. It’s almost like, Krel is the less favored child right out of the gate. No? Maybe? That’s definitely important and we’ll get to that later? Cool.

Final remarkable thing about episode one.

So we are nearing the end, and after the coup has happened, and their parents are now in stasis after just being shot, Aja is extremely upset which is of course valid. I hope she wouldn’t be happy after that. As Krel comforts her, and she blames herself, it takes him less time than it takes for me to register what just happened before he immediately instead blames himself too as a counter argument.

“And it would have ended sooner if I had done better in the duel, if anything we’re both to blame” The sad thing is, nobody ever told them they aren’t to blame because Mama and Papa were reunited with them, but decided to instead fight for akiridion-5 where they then retreated to their cores. 

In conclusion, the Krel we see in the first episode is nothing like the impression he could give off throughout the rest of the series. When we start off, Krel is actually just nervous and under-confident as well as asking for validation from his father. Aja also appears to be favored over him. You can’t tell me that Fialkov completely avoiding Krel’s question about being good enough was a mistake when he went on this entire rant about making choices even with his sister. All he had to muster up was a simple “I believe in you” or “you will be a great king.” or even something along the lines of “yeah, you’ll be decent.” However, he avoided the question by saying something else entirely. This, and combined with the fact that Aja was immediately told how great she is the second there was any mention of not wanting the life she has is mostly what led me to believe that. And as I said before, what makes this episode so important is that this is the first episode that gives us an insight into who Krel was BEFORE everything happened. This is Krel Tarron, the King-in-Waiting who is forced to follow this life path, nervous, and under-confident, and I’d argue timid. (Timid sounds like such a weird word to label him as but that is how he acted.) This isn’t the Krel Tarron we see who would slide down a bounty hunter’s back just for the thrill of it or who made a daxial array out of nothing or even the Krel Tarron who went joyriding on the solar system in the planetarium. Obviously at the time, something was very different or off.

I did it, part one, it has no real conclusion despite what I said, it’s basically just thoughts since it’s only the beginning. If you read it, thank youuuu!!

[officialleotolstoy]

Oh Dolokhov/Hélène Brainrot We’re Really In It Now, aka Dolokhov/Hélène playlist annotations!

I stole several songs from a playlist my friends have and I’m not gonna put those on this list, I won’t pretend I came up with those

The ship playlists (since they aren’t for canon couples) are very much based on my headcanons. We don’t get to see them interact literally ever so I’ve just extrapolated what I can. Several of these songs are at least alluding to sex, I don’t really think they actually slept together for various reasons I can enumerate if someone asks, but it’s more about the vibes of the song.

Casual Affair - Panic! At The Disco

It’s literally in the title. Bestie how much more explanation do you need? I don’t even like this song but it’s got the right energy

Those Nights - Bastille

“Aren’t we all just looking for a little bit of hope these days? Looking for somebody you can wake up with?”

Being drawn to each other because of mutual loneliness is a Thing in my interpretation of their relationship, and this hits the nail on the head.

But It’s Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco

“Praying for love and paying in naïveté”

Again, mutual loneliness and desperation for anything resembling love. Also the “isn’t this exactly where you like me” bit fits because they won’t admit to liking each other outside of their weird intimate moments.

Hurricane - Panic! At The Disco

“Drop our anchors in a storm”

The circumstances of their lives arent super fun at the moment so they find refuge in each other but in a very weird kind of unhealthy way! “We are a hurricane” sort of alludes to knowing that you’re causing problems/your relationship isn’t great.

Almost (Sweet Music) - Hozier

“I’m almost me again, she’s almost you”

It’s about not really being In Love but kind of convincing yourself you are because it makes you feel better in the circumstances. I don’t think either of them were fully into their relationship for various reasons. Not as in they didn’t want the other, more that they were both too aware it would never work for long.

Hall & Oates - Satchmode

“I want to be in love again, with you”

This one’s about wanting the idea of love and companionship more than you actually like the other person, which I feel like kind of fits. This song is framed as one person in love with the other and one hesitating, but i think this works for both of them to hesitate.

Feel Something - Jaymes Young

“Touch me, someone, I’m too young to feel so numb”

The I have tried like six times and I can’t word why I think this song works. I don’t even like it, I skip it every time, but I think it’s got something to do with loneliness and desperation for love driving them to look for it in places they wouldn’t normally? Who knows. Send me an ask if u do.

Another Place - Bastille

“Don’t make promises to me that you’re gonna break”

They could never actually be together for SO many reasons and I think they’re both pretty aware of that. They have no desire to pretend that their relationship is anything other than what it is (“we only ever wanted one thing from this”).

When You Were Young - The Killers

“You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to save you”

I do not think Hélène expected Dolokhkov to save her from anything except maybe monotony and loneliness, but this song slaps and if I can stretch the lyrics to work, I will

broken - lovelytheband

“I could be lonely with you”

Almost every song on here (including this one) is just. We’re messed up and I know we won’t really find love in each other but we might find solace for a while and be less lonely so uhhhhh wanna kiss me or what

Bleed Magic - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

“You stand up, stand up, before I drag you down”

They are NOT good for each other! Toxic relationships uwu

Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

I believe in bi4bi Hélène/Dolokhov

Enemy Fire - Bea Miller

“Sweet words from a serpent’s tongue”

This song is kinda complicated and parts of it don’t fit but the energy of “everything sucks including you but at least we can hide from the suckiness together” is sorta there. Originally I just added it for the soldier vibes because I was testing out songs but I realized i can fit some of the lyrics so on the playlist it goes

Angel of the Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

“Her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean”

They are horrible and cold to each other as a love language. This song is essentially just “Wow my evil scary gf is so hot” and you’re right Fyodor. She is.

Shut Up and Dance - WALK THE MOON

I won’t lie this one’s mostly a joke, I just think the vibes of telling someone to shut up as (maybe because) you’re falling in love with them is Dolokhov/Hélène energy. Ignore all the parts about wanting to be with her forever and her being his destiny that is not why I added it.

Lone Ranger - Rachel Platten

“I’m just gonna leave, ‘cause baby I’m a lone ranger”

I do not think Dolokhov was intending to stay with her forever at all. Very rude of him. However, she probably also knew it wouldn’t last forever, she’s not stupid.

House of Memories - Panic! At The Disco

“Promise me a place in your house of memories”

This is very much post-duel, their relationship has fizzled out but it was pretty important (do I mean emotionally or to the plot? I’ll never tell) and deserves to be remembered.

American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy

“I’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet”

SO MANY of these lyrics are so good for them like. Hélène’s beautiful Dolokhov’s a psycho... “you take the full truth and you pour some out” can you imagine them being open and honest with each other? Yeah, me neither. “We were pity sex” They were just sad and lonely! That was what allowed anything to happen at all in my head (not sex but bear with me it’s not my fault those are the lyrics). “All those dirty thoughts of me, they were never yours to keep” because Hélène is married to someone else, they really have no right to think of each other that way.

Sk8er Boi - Avril Lavigne

“He wasn’t good enough for her”

UNIRONICALLY THIS SONG. Hélène’s complaints about Dolokhov staying with them are just the quoted lyric. “They had a problem with his baggy clothes” yeah Dolokhov’s not as rich and bougie and the rest of them and he’s certainly rough around the edges. And then the skater boy ending with a successful music career vs Dolokhov ending with a successful military career and a great reputation and both the women in the songs having sad endings...I’m not wrong.

Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet - Fall Out Boy

“Does your husband know the way that the sunshine gleams from your wedding band?”

The affair vibes. The AFFAIR VIBES. And the concept of “I will never end up like him [the husband]/ behind my back I already am” in reference to using Hélène and deciding he hates her right after deciding she’s hot...okay! I see you kinning Pierre, Dolokhov. You ARE being just like her husband :/

You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi

“Shot through the heart and you’re to blame”

This is just Dolokhov’s massive I Hate Women monologue condensed. Stop blaming beautiful women for YOUR attraction to them maybe 🔫

Death Valley - Fall Out Boy

“Don’t take love off the table yet”

This is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is not a table sex joke this is n-

I didnt add it for that reason it was about a vibe but then. I realized. Now the original reason doesn’t even matter.

Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner - Fall Out Boy

“I’ll be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake”

Tell me the quoted lyric does not SCREAM Hélène/Dolokhov. You can’t. Also “I’ll weigh you down I’ll watch you choke/You look so good in blue” really captures hatred as a love language.

This is Love - Air Traffic Controller

Ok I stole this from my friends’ playlist but I did want to explain it because it’s not JUST Dolokhov and Hélène in my mind. The whole jealous fool second verse gives me Pierre around the duel energy as well

Bad Boy - Cascada

“Be my weekend lover but don’t be my friend”

Bernie Sanders voice I am once again asking you to hear me out about the unironic meme songs on my War and Peace character playlists. It’s got the refusal to admit that she actually likes hanging out with him down. The line “after some time you just pushed me aside” referring to Dolokhov teasing Pierre about their affair because he got bored. “I dont need you in my life again”...YEAH I’m fairly sure they dont interact in canon again after that.

Hayloft - Mother Mother

“My daddy’s got a gun”

This song started playing on accident once when I was listening to this playlist and I was like huh. It fits though. The gun thing is twofold: 1) Though he is not her father, Pierre does have a gun in the duel and 2) I think Vassily would happily shoot Dolokhov for his relationships with Vassily’s kids. It’s also just the general forbidden love vibes mixed with the violence vibes.

affection - BETWEEN FRIENDS

“I’m looking for affection in all the wrong places and we’ll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces”

Have I been clear enough about my thesis that their relationship is based in mutual loneliness? Also, I like the acknowledgment that this is in fact the wrong place. I think they’re both very aware of that.

Walk Away - Franz Ferdinand

“Yes I’m cold but not as cold as you are”

This song is for them post-duel. Especially the “I cannot stand to see those eyes as apologies may rise/I must be strong, stay an unbeliever” because 1) I hear the word eyes, I think of Dolokhov and 2) I think she’s too smart to believe any apology he would give her, she knows he doesn’t really mean it. The song kinda reads as someone trying to convince themselves they’re happy that the relationship is over, which I think is definitely what happens for both of them.

Van Horn - Saint Motel

“Tell me do you hate me? Or do you wanna date me?”

Obsessed with the dynamic of “I like you but that’s embarrassing for both of us I’m gonna act like I hate you instead”

[straycat-writes]

Hiiii! I just want to say I recently found about your blog and have read so much nd love it!! Your writing and characterisation is so good! I wanted to put in a request if I could! I'd like to request a birthday scenario/headcanon (your choice!) with Chuuya and a fem reader, as its my birthday on the 20th this month! What they would get up to celebrate etc? Thank you so much!

[Thank you, and I’m sorry it took me so long to get to this! Also, happy birthday! 🥰🥰]

my undying love (nakahara chuuya)

It is nearly evening when you finally arrive back home. The day had been eventful, to say the least. Your friends had thrown you a surprise birthday party and had dragged you with them for an afternoon going around town, because, in their words, ‘it was your day and you need to be taught how to have fun’.

They had been right, it was very much fun. You had gone to so many places and tried so many fun things, and in all the hectic excitement you almost forgot that you hadn’t heard a word from Chuuya since yesterday. But now that you are home, with the tiredness finally catching up to you, you finally begin to wonder. Just where the hell is he?

You enter your house and kick off your shoes, then frown when you hear someone moving around inside.

“Chuuya? Is that you?”

The noises stop for a while as you walk inside. Sure enough, Chuuya’s coat and hat lie discarded on the couch, and you wonder what he could possibly be doing.

Just then, you feel slender arms gently snaking around your waist from behind you, and you smile when the familiar cologne invades your senses.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He nuzzles into the side of your neck, “You’re looking prettier than usual.”

You stifle a laugh, instead choosing to roll your eyes and turn around in his arms, “If you’re trying to sweet-talk your way out of this mess, it’s not going to work. Where have you been?”

He steps back with a sheepish smile and scratches the back of his neck, “I am so sorry, (y/n). I wanted to be here and spend the whole day with you, but Mori-san sent me out of town at the last moment…”

“And you thought some job out of town disposing off threats was more important than your darling’s birthday?” you ask with a pout.

You’re not that dense. You understand his job and everything it entails, and you understand how demanding it is. So, you weren’t really all that upset. Still, it was fun to mess with him. It isn’t often you get to see the great Nakahara Chuuya fumble with his words.

“Of course not!” he said quickly, “Nothing’s more important than my baby. It’s just that…Look, babe, I’m terribly sorry, I promise I’ll make it up to you, and…”

“…Yes?”

“Uh…happy birthday?”

You snort, “Sure. Can I ask why I found you loitering in my house? It’s breaking and entering, you know?”

“Well, technically, it’s just entering because you gave me your key…” He begins sheepishly, but then immediately changes tactics when he sees the look on your face, “But that’s not important! What is important is that I’m here now, and I’m going to make it up to you a hundred times over, I pro-”

“Chuuya…” you chuckle, “It’s alright, I’m only kidding. I understand.”

He had been waving his hands around, talking quickly and excitedly, but as soon as you say the words, he lets out a sigh of evident relief. He smiles, before slowly coming over to envelope you in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” He murmurs into your hair, “But…what if I say I have something to make this up to you?”

“I told you, Chuuya, it’s alr – “

“Nonsense. Come with me.”

You look at him, his blue eyes shining and tentative smile on his face, before letting him pull you along behind him. He drags you into the kitchen of all places, and you briefly wonder why all the lights were turned out.

You didn’t have to wonder for long, though, because what you see takes your breath away. In the middle of the kitchen table, illuminated by candles, there sits a lone rose in a small, sleek vase. Beside it, there is a small but elaborate cake decorated with red velvet, and beside that is an elegantly wrapped present.

You stand there in mute awe, staring at it for a full minute with wide eyes before you’re able to articulate anything at all.

“Chuuya, I…this is…I don’t know what to say”

“You don’t have to say anything.” From behind you, he gently puts his hands on the sides of your shoulders, before closing the distance between you, “This is an apology. I just got back an hour ago, so I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything more elaborate, but – “

“More elaborate?” you look at him incredulously, “Are you kidding me? Chuuya, this is amazing, you didn’t have to go through so much trouble.”

He blinks, mildly confused, “Trouble? What are you talking about? I wanted to surprise you with so much more, take you to some fancy gourmet restaurant to have dinner and bury in more presents than you can handle. Unfortunately, this was all I could manage in an hour…”

He laughs at the look you give him, before excitedly leading you towards the table. Up close, you see that the cake is heart-shaped, embellished with red velvet roses, with the words ‘for my darling’ written on it in elegant swirling letters. What next catches your eye is the small box carefully wrapped in sliver paper and topped with a golden bow.

“Go on, open it.” Chuuya says enthusiastically.

Shaking your head at his excitement, with your own bubbling over in your chest, you pick it up and slowly pull the bow loose. Inside is a sleek black box, completely blank on the outside. It opens with a click, and if you thought you couldn’t be surprised any further tonight, you were wrong.

On the satin lined inside lies the most elegant necklace you have ever seen. It’s sleek and silver, with a bright, dark blue sapphire pendant. A pendant whose colour strangely reminds you of somebody’s eyes.

With wide eyes and lips slightly parted, you stare at it before looking back at him, “Chuuya…”

“Do you like it?” he asks nervously, eyes darting between the necklace and your face, “I had it shipped from Germany a week ago, but I can have it returned if you – “

His words are cut off abruptly when you put your hand on his mouth. “Chuuya. I love it.”

“…Really?” he murmurs, after slowly lowering your hand from his mouth and taking it in his own.

You nod, “I love it so much, it’s absolutely beautiful. But you really did not have to do this.”

“Why not?” he tilts his head, before smirking, “How else am I supposed to confess my undying love to you?”

Giggling, you hand him the necklace and turn your back to him, pushing your hair to one side. His hand circles around in front of you once as he gently fastens it around your neck.

“There.” He whispers, leaning dangerously close to your ear, “All done.”

A chill goes down your spine at the proximity and you desperately try to fight off the oncoming blush as you turn around to face him, “H-how does it look?”

“Better, now that it’s on you.”

You laugh, “Shut up, you’re too cheesy.”

He holds up his hands in mock surrender, before letting out a tired sigh, and you’re suddenly hit with the realization of how completely exhausted he must be, having only come back an hour ago.

Smiling, you grab on to the front of his shirt and place a kiss on his lips, and feel him melt immediately under your touch. When you let go, he leans his forehead on yours, clear blue eyes looking even brighter in the flickering light of the candles.

“I love you.” You breathe.

He smiles, “I love you too. Happy birthday, my love.”

[langstforthesoul]

Langst

Lonely By: Benny Blanco and Justin Bieber

*When the War finally ends and most of Team Voltron has gone their separate ways… Lance stayed back with his family for a few years, going through the rough healing process that he knows everyone else is also facing. He mainly stayed out on the beach, taking in the salty sea air and watching the waves come forth and leave with the growing tide. He missed the team, he missed his friends, he missed… Well he missed Keith too… But he would never admit this out loud, deciding to plaster on a smile and wait for the meet up they have every year at Allura’s statue. They’ll talk about all they’ve been doing, Pidge inventing something new, Hunk and Shiro dealing with Diplomatic missions, Coran helping with New Altea, and Keith.. Keith’s been helping with relief missions along with the Blade, helping planets with supplies and medicine. But what has Lance been doing? Hiding away on his farm claiming that someone has to take care of the wrecked Agriculture.. But really, he’s just a coward who is too scared to step back on a ship.. he does miss it though, the feeling of flying through the air with blue or red, side by side with his friends and long time crush…*

Lance: *walking along the shoreline, he waits to go back to the house that he and his family have been living in getting lost in his own Thoughts. His mind raced on what he would say at the Team get together and just what’s been happening since the war ended* Everybody knows my name… *he looks at the ocean blue, his eyes filled with a longing that no one could explain but himself* But somethin’ ‘bout it still feels strange. *He absentmindedly rubs the marks that will forever remain on his cheeks* Like lookin’ in a mirror, tryna steady yourself and seein’ somebody else…. *his mind flashes to when he had to say goodbye to Allura, the heartbreaking feeling that crashed through the whole team when they realized she was gone. Back to when they all first got on the castle ship and met the Last surviving alteans and suddenly became the ‘saviors’ of the universe.* And everything is not the same now, It feels like our lives have changed. Maybe when I’m older, it’ll all calm down? *he runs a frustrated hand through his hair* But it’s killen’ me now…

*Fast forward to the day before the team get together, Lance stands in his room with a bag packed and ready to go. He knew he’d have to leave soon, get on a ship and fly to New Altea to see his friends and hear about their adventures, or atleast pretend like he’s listening. He knows that he wants to join, feels the jolt of excitement from wanting to ask, to say he’s ready to go back and help… He’s been hyping himself up, but he knows he’ll chicken out, always overthinking and being paranoid and insecure…*

Lance: *he walks to the bathroom to check his appearance once more, fixing his hair for the millionth time* What if you had it all, but nobody to call? *he sighs and leans against the sink, staring down at the porcelain bowl like its the most precious thing in the world* Maybe then, they’d know me… *he loses himself in thought once more, not remembering he was on a schedule* ‘Cause I’ve had everything, but they’re never listening. And that’s just fuckin’ lonely..

Lance’s mom: Leandro! Vamos! You’re going to miss your flight! *She walks up the creaky steps to the bathroom only to see her son lost in thought, staring down at the sink still and sighed* Mijo, it’s time to go… *she spoke softly to not startle him*

Lance: *looks up slowly and smiles at his Mamá* Ok ok, let me grab my stuff and I’ll be out of your hair for the next couple of days. *he joked lightly, walking past her to grab his duffle and went back to peck her on the cheek* I’ll see you when I get back Mamá..

Lance’s Mom: *She pulled her youngest son into a tight hug* Are you going to tell them this time?

Lance: *he tenses up but tries to Laugh it off* Tell them what? What are you talking about?

Lance’s Mom: *She pulls away from the hug and gave him a knowing look* That you want to go back up there, and that you want to help Keith with his missions.

Lance: *He stared at his Mother, shocked that she knew anything about that* How-

Lance’s Mom: I’m your Mamá, and I know my children like the back of my hand. Don’t chicken out this year, Mijo. You’ve been moping around this farm for far too long.

Lance: *He gave a soft smile and pulled his mother back into a tight hug* Are you sure it’s Ok?

Lance’s Mom: Of course! Now, you better hurry before you miss the flight to New Altea. And tell everyone that the McClain family says hi for us.

Lance: *He released the other and quickly pecks her cheek* Gracias Mamá! And I will! *he runs down the stairs, hearing his mother let out a soft laugh as he goes. He runs out the door and to his old beat up jeep (Yes I’m giving Lance a blue Jeep don’t judge me-) and quickly drives to the Garrison*

Lance’s Mom: *She watches her son from the second story window drive off, sadly smiling and praying* I can tell he’s so lonely….

Lance’s Dad: *He finally walks up behind his wife and holds her in his arms* Lonely…

*Lance leaves earth, watching his home planet leave from his view as he felt a mixture of anxiety and excitement pump through him. But as the time passed he felt himself drown in his own thoughts again, questions like ‘What if they don’t need me?’ Or ‘What if Keith doesn’t want me to come..?’*

Lance: *he was by himself in the seating area, no one around to bug him as he drowned in his thoughts* Everybody knows my past now, Like my house was always made of glass… *he stares at the stars as they pass Kerberos* And maybe that's the price you pay for peace and fame at an early age. *he felt memories cloud his mind, thinking back to when clone shiro yelled at him and how he walked out, holding back his tears as he went.* And everybody saw me sick.. *flashes to when everyone pushed him aside and basically ignored him* And it felt like no one gave a shit… *More memories flood through his mind as they grow closer to New Altea. Back to when he would get berated and criticized for every little thing he did* They criticized the things I did as an Idiot kid… *he lets out a shaky sigh while pulling his knees to his chest, trying to shake the feelings of loneliness* What if I had it all, but nobody to call? *he felt the tears beginning to sting his eyes* Maybe then, they’ll know me… *He sat up properly as they entered the planet's atmosphere* Cause I’ve had everything, but no one’s listening. *he wipes his eyes and plasters on his best ‘I’m ok’ smile* And that’s just fucking lonely. *He grabs his bag and begins walking out* I’m so lonely… *steps off the ship and breathes in the crisp air* Lonely…

*When the former blue paladin steps off the ship, he’s talked by two figures, one small and one giant. He knew who was hugging him which made him burst into laughter. Hunk and Pidge both hugged him tight, not letting go until they’re approached by Shiro who pulls Lance into his own tight hug. The older man said his ‘Hello’s’ and the other two were talking about how they missed the Cuban which made his heart swell with a familiar warmth. But what took his breath away was the sight of Keith, the half-galaran stood tall with a very familiar smirk plastered on his face as he strode forward to wrap Lance up in his arms*

Keith: *he held onto Lance longer than the others, nuzzling his face in the crook of the others neck* Hey Sharpshooter..

Lance: *he flushed pink and wrapped his arms around Keith’s neck, breathing in his scent* Hey Samurai-

Pidge: *they Jokingly gags* Alright lovebirds that’s enough!

Hunk: *he elbows Pidge and chuckles* Hey, cut them some slack Pidge. They haven’t seen each other for a few months.

Lance: *he tries to give a quick remark but is stopped but Keith placing a kiss on his neck* Keith, b-buddy?

Keith: *he hums softly in acknowledgement that he’s listening but doesn’t loosen his grip around Lance*

Lance: *he sighs and gives in, letting out a soft laugh and feels a warm smile cross his face* Later, we need to talk..

Keith: *he hums again and loosens his grip some* Ok..

Lance’s Thoughts: I guess I didn’t have anything to worry about..

[reachgirl]

My thoughts on “Buddie”

 1. I think if Fox could realize that sometimes you can’t *plan* for chemistry, it just happens, and when it does it’s magic and you need to let it play out, they would be so far ahead of the curve of other shows and fans beyond their core audience would take notice.  The material IS there to defend it actually happening against claims that they just bowed down to the shippers.

2. On the one hand, I believe that the writers are very deliberately writing a lot of subtext and the directors are leaving in scenes where the actors are making certain choices, both Ryan/Oliver and Peter/Kenneth/Aisha/JLH. But is it just as a “shout out” to the Buddie shippers, or an actual deliberate effort to make a point of how close they are and how dependent they’ve become on their relationship?

3. I’ve talked before how I think deciding on your character’s sexuality before you actually write them out for a while just doesn’t make for believable humanity based on reality. If we’re looking at these two examples, 

Buck has been written in a way that could very well make him bi/pan and not everybody who is and is secure in their identity will go and talk about it constantly. I would also like to remind everyone that bi does not mean you have to stick to a certain quota, like keep your relationships 50/50 male/female. There are many people who are bi who tend to end up in more relationships/even just sexual ones with one gender, and that doesn’t make them less bi or pan. So just because we have only seen him have female love interests during the show, there are some scenes (”Your man crush on Eddie”/”I’m not setting you up with my brother/Hey Now”) that could be interpreted to mean that might not always have been the case, Maddie being the one who would have been there to witness it. We also see Buck not really caring about the social conventions - not only of who he dates - he is consistently written as meeting every person he meets on eye level - even making sure the guy who stole his identity to catfish women wouldn’t lose his dignity in death, but also romantically, we can see him building a connection with Abby through the phone first and falling in love with her as a person, and not caring about her being quite a lot older.

Eddie, and I’ve written about this before, is a little bit of an enigma. Again, we have only seen him in one relationship, and while it doesn’t seem like it was the happiest of marriages, in the end it really did seem like he loved Shannon and wanted to make it work. Up until Ms. Florez we have also seen him almost making a point of not looking to date (”They’re not my type”/”You didn’t set me up, did you?”), and that is pretty much all we know about him. Again, the fact that he was married to a woman and once flirted with one briefly, does not prove or disprove anything. He grew up in Texas, in latino culture, and spent a good amount of his formative years in the US Army, all of these can traditionally be quite conservative. From personal experience even I have seen many people who grew up in conservative environments fall in line with the expectations set for them by their communities (often very early, and Eddie and Shannon did get married quite young), especially if their community doesn’t provide a lot of LGBTQ-visibility or role models. Yes, Eddie does “act” straight, whatever that means and whether that is an actual concept, but the way he behaves in a lot of scenes with Buck, and I’ll get back to this in point 8., could be interpreted in other ways.

4. TV today has gotten a lot better at showing LGBTQ relationships that aren’t a) just on the sidelines b) serving as collateral emotional damage to drive the plot or c) are written in a way that is basically just taking a hetero-couple-storyline and casting two people of the same gender in it. I am worried that they think they can’t do the “coming out later in life” storyline again with Buddie because they already have Michael (which brings me back to point 1. Let the damn magic happen when it’s right in front of your eyes), and they can’t have another main cast LGBTQ character - or two - because they already have Hen (and Karen). Obviously these are not valid reasons, look at other shows like 911 Lone star for representation within the main cast, but of course, this is a double edged sword because there is a concern that they gave us 911 Lone Star to do what they wouldn’t or couldn’t do with the original. (On a side note, Owen Strand is the fairy godfather of Texas and I live for that show)

5. Parallels. This has been talked about a lot, and there are much better posts about it than this one. But writers aren’t stupid, or careless, so I do believe that to a certain extent they’re aware of how they are setting up parallels between Buck and Eddie’s love lives. We have them agreeing to “have each other’s backs” in contrast to Shannon telling Eddie that he never had hers. We have Eddie telling Buck that there is no one he trusts more with Christopher than him, while he makes it clear that while he thinks he can forgive Shannon, he doesn’t think he can trust her. We had Shannon coming back just as Buck decides to leave Abby behind finally, and we had Ali showing up when Shannon dies, and now Ana when the writers point out how single Buck is.

6. Themes. The episode themes in 9-1-1 are kinda like horoscopes, they’re meant to be able to work for multiple storylines and connect all the main characters through one focus. But we’ve seen a lot of themes surrounding family or trust or love that have an obvious connection to a Buddie moment on the show. Chosen Family. Home. Being able to trust your partner. Seizing the day. And even when it’s something that doesn’t immediately connect the two, the scenes are cut in a way that imply there’s a connection, like Eddie telling Chim to tell Maddie he loves her, because tomorrow isn’t promised. Chim calls Maddie to invite her to dinner to finally do this, and right before this we see Eddie asking Buck to lunch - this is probably just a coincidence, right? But we can be sure that the director, writers and cutters were aware of this, and made the choice to do it this way, for whatever reason. Because this is their exact job, telling stories through how they cut scenes together. 7. Christopher. So this might be what makes Buddie a little more unique compared to the, admittedly, dozens of other seemingly “straight bromances” that people have shipped. Most scenes we get with Buck and Eddie that are outside of work, involve Chris in some way. It’s probably safe to say that part of the reason they became so close is because Buck and Chris have a connection that I would wager goes beyond what most friends have with their single-dad-friend’s kid. We see how important Buck becomes in Christopher’s life, and vice versa, pretty much a few episodes after they meet for the first time. Eddie trusts Buck with Chris’ life, and he trusts him with any problems relating to Christopher that he needs to work through. Buck’s his sounding board for his role as a parent, which is interesting considering Eddie has other friends at the 118 that actually are parents? *cough* Chosen family *cough*

8. Closeness. As I said above, sometimes writers plan one storyline, but the magic happens somewhere they didn’t expect, and if that is the case, and you want to be faithful to your characters, you should seize that opportunity. I think we can all agree this is one of those cases where the chemistry is just off the charts. There are long looks, there is a lot of being in sync, there’s constant physical contact when they’re sitting or walking next to each other. Personal space, who? Again, this is something the director could discourage, or use a take that didn’t have Buck grab his belt buckle and invading Eddie’s personal space in his own kitchen, but they decided on this take. They decided on the take of Eddie clearly checking out Buck’s behind and Chim noticing. Now Buck seems to be pretty comfortable with closeness anyway, but Eddie isn’t the most touchy guy with anyone else, so this is noticeable. And it works.

9. Look. Somebody sat down and wrote “You want to go for the title?” and I would pay a lot of money to see the stage directions on that script because holy fuck. There’s a lot of info in their exchanges - and it implies that there are lots of moments that these two talk that we don’t get to see - Buck immediately knows about Eddie and Ana, and he knew about the situation with Shannon too (and didn’t hide his jealousy very well). When they don’t talk, it clearly gets to Eddie, who doesn’t have that many other people he really trusts and can open up to. Cue “husbands fighting in the supermarket”. But what’s also interesting to me is that their dynamic involves a lot of Eddie teasing Buck. “Exoskeleton” “Aren’t you still in that phase?” “You would have talked me into buying a more expensive one”.. and Eddie sometimes uses it to keep their conversations from getting into dangerous, emotional territory, like during the kitchen scene. And I don’t know about y’all, but that sounds like something I’ve done before when I knew there was something to get into, and I just didn’t know how or when. 

_______________________________________

Wow I could keep going but this is already so long. I’m so sorry everyone. But I figured we all now have two weeks so we have time to do a lot of reading 😅Thanks everybody for reminding me about the things that do make it seem like Buddie is an actual possibility, because most of the time, I have to admit, I’m like 70/30 against the hope of it becoming reality. Long live fanfiction! In conclusion, please make it happen, or explain all the choices you have made. YOU CAN’T! 

[flying-elliska]

Since I know you're watching 9-1-1 now, I would want to hear your thoughts on that show! (You can also add 9-1-1: Lone star there or do it separately. Your choice. 🙂)

yess thank you i love this game !!!!

9-1-1

The first character I first fell in love with: honestly i was a bit eh whatever about all of them at first

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: but they all really grew on me, the character development is awesome, it’s the rare ensemble show where i’m never bored no matter who takes center focus. but ESPECIALLY Buck like his first few scenes I was like oh great another procedural douchebag whose assholery is glamorized like Tony from NCIS but thank god it’s 2021 things have changed. (I haven’t watched a procedural in a long time lmao). Now he’s honestly one of my favorite characters ever, which i did not see coming. the Buck Begins episode was like, so cathartic, it fucking killed me. i’m still processing.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t:  hmm idk i’m pretty on par with the fandom most of the time

The character I love that everyone else hates: not sure either except i don’t like how parts of the fandom vilify female characters

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: can’t think of any

The character I would totally smooch: every time Buck and Taylor were on the screen together last episode i was like stop I’m too bi for this, help. this show is just full of hot people in general it’s great

The character I’d want to be like: honestly Hen has got it going on, she’s warm and competent and funny, she has a beautiful rocket scientist wife and an adorable family, she’s going after a new dream at 40, she has just great chill vibes, so she is absolutely goals for me. (without the cheating bit that sucked)

The character I’d slap: none of the core cast their lives are already dangerous enough. Maybe Hen’s awful ex. Or no, Buck’s parents. Absolutely Buck’s parents. Worst parents ever. Seriously.

A pairing that I love: Maddie and Chimney are super sweet, I love them. I love Athena and Bobby and their family thing with Michael and David, the whole dynamic is just awesome. I love the unconventional families in the show. Also I do ship Buddie, I think they have great chemistry and the slow burn potential would be next level. That said, I’m annoyed at the fandom’s insistance that they have to be in love because Buck helps out a lot with Chris it just feels so ...Weirdly heteronormative to me. Real talk, this happened in my own life, some of my mom’s best friends helped raise me and it was totally platonic, I love the idea that your friends can help with the kids and vice versa, and the idea i’ve seen going around that it’s ‘abnormal’ or whatever is just...so narrow minded and obsessed with the nuclear family as the only valid family unit which is so regressive and the show is absolutely not about. Anyway yeah and if that can’t happen I do think Buck and Taylor have potential if they write them as friends first, I really liked their scenes last episode.

A pairing that I despise: i didn’t like Hen’s cheating story line, honestly. Doug and Maddie were horrible together but like, obviously on purpose. Also not to sound like a disgruntled shipper but Eddie and Ana are super cringe so far. Her first ep was about her not knowing how to deal with Christopher, not a great start and that last episode... WTF was that are we sexualizing somebody being an elementary school teacher teaching math now who even came up with this like ????? i don’t want these

Lone Star :

The first character I first fell in love with:  TK, troubled gay sweetheart with attachment issues, what’s not to love

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Tommy and Nancy are awesome and I want to see more of them and more of the paramedic squad. Tommy is such a badass (also Gina Torres <3 <3) and I love Nancy’s sarcastic humor, and their dynamic with TK, it’s so fresh and funny.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: can’t think of one

The character I love that everyone else hates: same

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Owen. He was great at the start, we need more fathers that are so openly caring and affectionate, he can be a great supportive captain. But then at some point it became clear he’s written as a vanity character for the actor, a male Mary Sue, he can’t go wrong, he always has to be the hero at the center of every plot line, the show spends so much time on his petty drama about his hair or not being able to get it up while more interesting characters are kept in the background...it’s annoying, super frustrating, and it makes him a lot less interesting. every convo I have with @beeexx about the show sooner or later turns to ‘we want less Owen’ lmao

The character I would totally smooch: again, too many hot characters in this show, impossible to choose

The character I’d want to be like: Marjan, just so badass, secure in her own identity, funny, amazing, roller derby queen, she deserves better plotlines

The character I’d slap: Owen in s2 like what the hell dude. Carlos’ father also came close last ep

A pairing that I love: Tarlos, obviously, great chemistry and everything, would be better if we actually saw what’s happening with them. Grace and Judd are super sweet and I can’t wait to know more about them next ep.

A pairing that I despise: Owen and Gwyn were so annoying and immature, they tried to sell us that they were this great love when they couldn’t spend 5 minutes without arguing and then they decide to have a baby together when they were never able to pay attention to their son properly like what the fuck ???? i don’t want to see them fighting about bowls gtfo. Also the thing with Marjan with her fiancé, a lot of Muslim fans have said that it was a bad cliché so I’ll leave it at that.

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Tma season 2 notes baybeee

I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.

ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one

ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon

ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.

ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!

ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!

ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr

ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.

Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.

ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body

ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao

ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim

ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.

ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before

ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay

ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?

ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!

ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please

ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1

ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.

ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.

ep 60: the eye go brr

ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires

ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?

ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.

ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him

ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.

So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.

Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye

ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?

ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.

ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.

ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.

ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.

ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)

ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!

ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?

ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.

ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.

ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.

ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?

ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.

ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.

ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.

[pretendingboyfriends]

I Promise - Pt III

A/N: JUST A LITTLE PSA, I TOOK MOST OF ALEX’S POV FROM THE DUNKIRK MOVIE SO I COULD MAKE IT AS ACCURATE AS POSSIBLE. ok i hope u enjoy!:)

Word Count: 3.7k+

Warnings: war, angst

Alex

 A fog settled over the large expanse of ocean creating an unsettling silence as we slowly trudged along the crowded platform. Thousands of men stretched across the bridge, all begging to board the ship and escape from the island of hell. As I watched the scene before me and continued to shove forward along with everyone else, I clutched the small piece of paper in my hand. The one thing that had kept me going throughout these dreadful months, a photograph of Y/N. I had snipped it from a family photo her mother had gifted me right before I left. It truly did no justice to her beauty, crumpled and damaged by water and grime but I could still make out her smiling features, soft hair, and delicate arms resting by her sides. 

 I heard a shout from several feet in front of me and suddenly everyone around me began to shove harder, desperate to reach the ship. I turned to the man beside me,“What’d he say?” 

“Five minutes 'till departure,” The man grunted, shoving through the other men harshly and disappearing into the sea of round, metal helmets. I sighed and shoved the crumpled photograph back into my coat pocket. I need to get on that bloody ship. 

 Luckily, I wasn’t too far from the entrance of the ship and was able to push my way through to the front. The men waiting by the ramp onto the ship, quickly ushered me through along with a few other men. I thanked them quietly. 

 Almost as soon as my foot hit the deck of the ship, the screeching of airplanes approaching overhead caused everyone to look up to the sky. Men began screaming and running for shelter and the thousands of soldiers standing on the platform ducked down in unison. Panic washed over me as I watched the planes approach rapidly. Men all around me were thrusting themselves off the side of the ship and into the water in fear, and then the enemy began to fire. Destruction began at the bridge but was quickly moving closer and closer to the ship. Taking my chances, I threw myself over the edge and into the freezing water below. The explosions above me were muffled through the water as I attempted to stay under for as long as I could. My lungs burned and my entire body began to go numb from the freezing temperature of the water. I surfaced, treading through the water as the ship slowly began to fall. I panicked, flailing my arms in an attempt to swim away.

“Grab on to my hand, mate!” 

I looked up to see a soldier reaching out to me as he held onto the pillars of the bridge. I swam towards him as fast as I could and grasped his hand tightly. He pulled me up onto the pillars beside him and I choked and sputtered on the water that had been caught in my lungs, my chest heaving with my labored breaths. Neither of us said anything as we waited for the chaos to subside. 

Soon, someone was calling to us over the edge of the bridge and we were brought to another, smaller boat. That boat brought us and about 20 other men to a larger ship, similar to the first one. A woman greeted us as we boarded, placing blankets and life jackets into our hands and leading us down into the ship. Hundreds of us crowded together as we were handed bread slices coated with jam and metal mugs of tea. 

There wasn’t much we could do except stand, eat, and talk. We spoke of our home lives and where we were from. I found out the soldier’s name was Tommy and mentioned its similarity to my best mate back home. We also made casual conversation with a few soldiers around us.

“Any of you lads got a bird at home?” One of the men asked as he munched on his third slice of bread. Half of them shook their heads and the others began raving about their girls, reaching into their coats for letters and photographs. I took the photograph of Y/N from my coat and passed it to Tommy. 

“This your bird?” He asked, studying the picture carefully. I nodded a small smile gracing my features. 

“Oi, lemme get a look at ‘er,” another man called, snatching the picture from Tommy. They passed the small photo around, gushing over her beauty and I couldn’t help but swell with pride. Once the photo was passed back to me, I placed it safely back into the pocket of my coat. 

“How’d you meet her?” I ran a hand through my damp hair, 

“Her brother and I have been best mates our whole lives and I guess I just got lucky.” He opened his mouth to respond, but the words never came, instead we were all suddenly and violently thrown against the wall as something collided with the side of the ship. The already dim lights flickered off and the soldiers began shouting about a torpedo and scrambling to escape. A giant gust of water suddenly broke through the side and we were engulfed into it within seconds. I had no time to think before I was trapped beneath the water, struggling to reach the emergency escape door. 

 Suddenly, there was a light above us coming from the door and Tommy was quickly swimming towards it. I swam as hard as I could to catch up with him and soon we were swept up into the water spilling back into the sea as the ship sunk deeper and deeper. Parts of the ship were exploding all around us as we swam away frantically. Soldiers screamed in terror throwing themselves into the ocean and swimming towards the smaller boats that surrounded the ship. We tried to climb into the closest boat but one of the soldiers pushed us away, refusing to let us on. They told us to stay where we were, floating in the water and promised to come back for us once they reached the beach but one of the soldiers threw a rope out into the water and whispered to grab onto it. 

Finally, we were back on land, sprawled out along the beach in exhaustion from swimming all night long. Tommy, his comrade, and I all sat along the shore, staring out into the sea. We watched a lone soldier stumble towards the water, leaving his helmet and life vest behind before entering the violent waves and never returning.

I caught sight of a few soldiers marching towards a boat and quickly pushed myself to stand, running towards them. Tommy and his friend followed close behind me as we joined them. We came across an abandoned fishing boat and one of the soldiers instructed us to climb inside. 

“We’ve got to wait for the tide to come in so it’ll take us out to sea,” A man said in a thick scottish accent. 

“How long’ll that take?” I asked, stepping down into the bottom of the ship behind Tommy. 

“Comes in every three hours, mate.” He retorted and I huffed out a frustrated sigh.

 I had noticed that there was something different about Tommy’s friend. He had yet to speak a single word to me or Tommy and I found it off-putting. He wore a british soldier’s uniform, but he didn’t seem to know exactly what we were saying. He just stood back and observed with wide, fear filled eyes. I didn’t trust him at all. 

 We waited there for what seemed like hours, just leaning against the sides in silence, too exhausted to make a sound. Suddenly, a gunshot was heard and the sound of metal pelting against metal jolted all of us from our slightly relaxed state. We looked at each other in fear and confusion before another gunshot rang out, causing several bullet sized holes to form near the end of the boat. None of us knew why they were shooting at us. Surely the enemy hadn’t seen us entering the boat, so why were they shooting at us?

 As if he’d read my mind, Tommy mumbled something along the lines of, “Target practice,” and I glanced back at the group of bullet holes. He was right. The holes were too close together for them to be aiming to hurt us. 

 The shots continued, every pang of metal on metal causing all of us to cower in fear. We were trapped. If we tried to leave, we would be killed instantly. After hours of fear filled silence water began to pour from the small holes, causing us to spiral into even more of a panic than before. We hadn’t even realized that the tide had come in and taken us out to sea and now it was too late. We were sinking. 

“We’ve got to plug it!” I whispered, looking around at the other men. 

“After you, mate.” The soldier beside me mumbled right before several shots fired out and hit the boat once again. We certainly couldn’t plug the holes, one of us could easily get shot. In order to stop us from sinking, we needed to lose weight.

“Weight! We need to lose weight!” I exclaimed, “Somebody needs to get off,” They all looked around at each other nervously. 

“What, like a volunteer?”

 I shook my head, “We don’t need a volunteer, I know someone who oughta get off.” I turned to Tommy’s friend, pointing my finger at him, “This one. He’s a german spy,” 

“Don’t be daft,” Tommy quickly interjected.

“Have you noticed he hasn’t said a word? He can’t speak english!”

“You’re daft,” He shook his head, nudging the culprit, “Tell him,”

My blood was boiling. Because of him, I might not be going home. It was selfish, really, but I wasn’t going to keep my mouth shut until I got the truth out of him.

 “Yeah,” I yanked the rifle from the man hunched beside me, “Tell me.” I held the gun to his face, jaw clenched from rage,“Tell me!” He staggered backwards, shivering with fear, 

“France,” he whimpered in a heavy accent, “France.”

“A bloody frog!” I fumed, grabbed his tags, “And where’s Gibson? Some naked, dead englishman?”

By that point, the water was nearly to our knees and all the other men stood behind me, just as fuming as I was. Several more shots rang out and we all ducked to the floor.

“The fuck are we gonna do now?”

“Somebody’s still gotta get off,” I responded, lunging at the man, “Go on, get off!” I clutched his coat and shoved him towards the ladder, but Tommy pushed me away. 

“You can’t do that!”

 “Better him than me,” I snarled, thrusting him against it.

 “S’not fair!” Tommy whinged, attempting to push me away. “Survival’s not fair! I’m not thinking about his safety, I'm thinking about mine! I’ve got a girl back home. If I die, it’s not fair to her! Nothing about this bloody war is fair!” The water was rising faster and faster, reaching our chests. The other men began to shove him against the ladder just as I did, threatening him. I turned to Tommy, 

“Somebody’s gotta get off so the rest of us can live. We’re all the same here except for him. If you want to go home, we’ve got to get him off.”

“We’re not going to make it regardless!” He spat back, shaking his head, “And I’m not gonna live knowing I was the reason an innocent man was killed.”

“The rest of us are brothers, mate. There’s nothing else we can do.” As soon as the words escaped my lips, the man lunged at another holding a rifle, causing the rest of them men to pull against him to get him off. They all began to lean to one side and the boat sunk deeper, filled to our necks with water. We panicked, swimming towards the holes to plug them as best we could. There were too many holes and not enough men.

 We had to get off, no matter the consequences. If we left, we had more of a chance of survival than we did going down with it. So, I quickly swam to the ladder, climbing through the exit. 

Finally, I had escaped the boat, jumping into the murky, oil filled water below and swimming towards the nearest boat. I watched as other soldiers were tugged onto it and safely brought below deck, so I swam faster despite my aching muscles. A young boy grasped my arm once I reached the boat and pulled me on board, leading me below deck to safety. 

At some point Tommy ended up with me and the other men below deck and we nodded to each other in silent greeting. His French comrade was nowhere to be found. 

We travelled for hours and hours until dusk was upon us and then we finally reached land. Not a word was spoken as we were led to the trains and given food and blankets. We were all ashamed. We didn’t fight, all we did was survive. We were cowards and everyone was going to know it. 

Although I felt ashamed, in that moment I was far too exhausted to think of anything but sleep. Slowly my eyelids became heavier and heavier and I drifted off to sleep. I dreamt of Y/N just like I had every night since the war started. 

When I awoke, I was greeted by a man frantically knocking against the glass window. I avoided eye contact with him, hoping he would leave eventually. I assumed he was there to harass us, so I didn’t dare look at him until I heard the clanking of glass above my head. Looking up, I saw the man holding two beers through the small opening of the window. I took the bottles carefully, passing one of them to Tommy and gulping down my own. We approached the station and hundreds of people waved and cheered. It was not the ‘welcome home’ I was expecting. 

*

Y/N

Since I’d found out about the Dunkirk evacuation, I’d actively avoided anything to do with Alex. Thomas had come home early because of an injury and I had taken it upon myself to be his nurse while he healed. That was one of the ways I distracted myself, but another was spending more and more time with James. Things with him were becoming serious. He told me he loved me and I told him I loved him back, even though I knew it was a lie. I was settling. I had turned into the girl who settled for the first guy in sight and I hated myself for it. James was kind and loving and I knew he would be a wonderful husband and father, but I didn’t love him.

 It was stupid, really. I was nineteen, I had my entire life ahead of me but I chose to settle for a man I didn’t love with a life I didn’t want to have. But at that point, I didn’t care. I truly didn’t believe I would ever find anyone like Alex.

*

 I leaned over the bathroom sink, smoothing a muted red color onto my lips. Pulling back from the mirror, I smacked my lips together and studied my features to make sure nothing was out of place. James was on his way to pick me up and take me out to a nice dinner and I’d picked out a red, velvet, short sleeved dress that James had bought for me at the beginning of the summer. I paired it with a simple set of black heels and had Mother style my hair into perfect curls.

“What time did he say he was coming?” Mother asked as she prepared dinner for the rest of the family. 

“6:15,” I mumbled, fixing my lipstick one last time before pulling on my gloves and grabbing my small purse. I dropped the small capsule of lipstick into my purse and glanced down at my small watch.

 6:10

“You seem eager,” Mother observed. 

“Just a little nervous,” I hummed, peering out the window through the curtains and spotting his shiny, expensive car pulling in. “There he is, I’ll see you tonight, mum. Love you.” And with that I was flinging the door open and shuffling down the porch to his car. He had begun to walk up through the yard and stopped when he saw me.

“Well, I was gonna give your mum these flowers and pick you up at the door,” 

I smiled, “Oh, it’s alright. I’ll bring them in when you take me home.”

He nodded and quickly tugged me into his chest by my waist, pressing a quick peck to my lips. “You look absolutely stunning, my love.”

I blushed and swatted at his chest, biting back a smile,“Oh shut up.”

He chuckled and helped me into the passenger seat of his car before settling into the driver’s seat. He took my right hand and pressed his lips to the cloth of my glove without a word. 

 The restaurant was extremely fancy, ordained in crystal chandeliers and pristine, white tablecloths. I felt completely out of place surrounded by elegant women and their fur scarves draped neatly over their shoulders as they stared me down. They knew I didn’t belong there either. James didn’t seem to pay any mind to them, though, politely pulling my chair out for me and kissing my rosy cheek.

 We dined like royalty, sipping gracefully at our glasses of wine as we spoke about our days. James rambled about building his own house and I pretended to be interested in his plans. Occasionally, he would reach for my hand, tugging it across the table and pressing a kiss to the back of it whilst staring into my eyes. I smiled and swatted my hand at him, flustered at his sudden public display of affection. And just to make me even more flustered he reached underneath the table and brushed his fingertips along the inside of my knee, causing me to squeal. It was all innocent and I intended to keep it that way for as long as possible. 

 As we pulled up to my house, James reached into the back of the car and pulled out the bouquet of flowers he had for Mother before stepping out of the car and quickly rounding it to open my door. I thanked him quietly and we walked to the door. 

 I watched as he and my mother made lighthearted conversation, removing my thin sweater, gloves, and purse and hanging them by the door. I admired the way James spoke to people. He was very well put together and I was lucky to be with him. He was considerate of everyone around him, not just himself. He was every girl’s dream.

 After Mother busied herself with finding a container for the flowers, James returned to my side, gently wrapping his arm around my waist and pressing a kiss to my cheekbone.

“Let’s go out on the porch.” He whispered into my ear and I looked up at him. His demeanor had changed slightly. He seemed slightly less playful than he had been before.

 “Okay,” 

 Stepping out into the night, the chilled summer breeze caressed my skin, causing a slight shiver to creep down my spine. I leaned myself against the railing surrounding the porch, gazing out into the silence as James pressed himself behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my waist. He dropped his chin onto my shoulder, lips ghosting the side of my neck, 

“Did you enjoy dinner?” He asked, inhaling the scent of my shampoo subtly. I hummed in affirmation, subconsciously leaning my head to one side as he nosed at my skin. We stayed like that for a few moments, just basking in the calm night until he spoke again.“I need to ask you something,”

I turned around when he said that, my back pressed against the railing as I furrowed my brow slightly,“What is it?”

He breathed in deeply and took both my hands into his,“I know we haven’t known each other for very long a-and I don’t need an immediate answer, but…” He reached into his pocket, clutching something in his hand tightly, “Ever since I laid eyes on you for the first time, I knew I had to have you. I truly believe you are my soulmate and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

 I watched apathetically as he kneeled in front of me, holding up a small box with a large diamond ring nestled inside. He continued to speak, but his words were drowned out from the sound of my thumping heartbeat. I didn’t want to marry him. I wasn’t in love with him.

 He finished speaking, his hand still clutching mine tightly as he watched me closely. I didn’t have to hear him to know what he had asked.

No

“Yes.”

As soon as he processed the word that had wheezed passed my lips, his arms were around me, spinning me in a circle. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you said yes,” He whispered, still holding me tightly. His spinning came to a gentle halt and he set me down onto my feet again, cupping my face with his hands and kissing me tenderly. I took a deep breath, faking a smile as he pulled away and wrapped his arms around me once again. My arms circled his neck and looked straight ahead of me to the yard expecting darkness to stare back; but I was met with a pair of familiar eyes. I knew those eyes. Those large, green eyes that lit up anytime I was around. Those beautiful, beautiful eyes. Alex’s eyes. 

 He was covered in grime from head to toe, still wearing his uniform. The small bouquet of wildflowers that he clutched in his hand fell to the ground as we made eye contact and then he was gone. Turning quickly and disappearing into the shadows, leaving the slightly wilted flowers in the dirt. I had no time to react, one thing replaying in my mind. Alex was alive.

-

and ofc, thank u to my wonderful beta readers @goldenfeelin , @queeniebish , @youflower-youfeast , and @m-ram21 !!! 

taglist: @httpsmoony @summer-evening-harry