#their relationship is too messy and complicated and amazing not to explore

[bebx]

Hi there!

I really enjoy your fanfics, and I wanted to share a few thoughts with you about GinHo and *Squid Game*. I wouldn’t say I’m a hardcore fan of the series—I watched the first season when everyone else did and I liked it, but that was it. A few days ago, Iwatched the last two seasons, and that’s when everything kind of hit me differently.

As a psychologist, I found the dynamic between Gi-hun and In-ho absolutely fascinating. At the same time, I couldn’t help but feel deeply unsatisfied with how their storyline ended. That’s how I ended up diving into fix-it fanfiction—and yours, honestly, are more than amazing.

What really stuck with me in Season 2 was In-ho’s emotional state and what must’ve been going through his head when he was listening in on Gi-hun and Jung Bae’s conversation during that final night watch. He came across as jealous—not just of their bond, but also of Gi-hun’s ability to connect, to care, to *live*. And there was this almost wistful daydream quality to In-ho in that moment, like he could picture himself and Gi-hun going out for a drink together... which made his line, *“Buy me a soju when we get out”*, feel so natural and emotionally loaded.

I kept thinking about Gi-hun’s night after his encounter with In-ho/Young-il. It must’ve been a whirlwind. How do you reconcile the bright, warm, emotionally available person you just spent three intense days with... with the cold, masked, brutal persona of the Front Man? Once the shock wore off, I imagine Gi-hun was overwhelmed by flashbacks—confused, haunted, maybe even betrayed???

Are there any fanfics that explore this emotional fallout? Or would you consider writing one? I’d love to read your take on these moments.

Now, if I were to imagine a more emotionally satisfying ending… I get that the sacrifice and the current ending are powerful in a literary and symbolic sense—it's raw, it hits hard, it leaves a mark. But psychologically, I just can’t see In-ho letting it go that far. I believe that he truly has a deja vu and he sees himself again in the position to save a person he cares for and a child. I believe the words he says to Gin Hun - I will make sure you and the baby will live, u have mai word, are the same he had said to his wife.

The moment he saw that Gi-hun wasn’t doing what was expected of him, I think he would’ve flipped the green button on his own—or at least ordered a shutdown or evacuation faster, especially once his brother showed up.

In my mind, the three of them (plus the baby) leave the island—maybe not willingly for In-ho, because he doesn’t see life beyond the island as something he deserves—but Gi-hun reminds him that he still owes him that soju.

Maybe Gi-hun goes to America, finally gets closure with his family, and then comes back to Seoul—to get closure with In-ho too.

---

As for their relationship… to me, Gi-hun and In-ho are caught in a tragic emotional loop. In-ho is obsessed with Gi-hun—not in a romanticized, sweet way, but in a complicated web of fixation, infatuation, and control. There’s a deep-rooted ambivalence in the way In-ho treats him: part of him genuinely wants to protect Gi-hun but another part wants to *break* him, to test him, to pull him so close to the edge that he either falls—or proves he can survive.

It’s like he needs to see Gi-hun suffer in order to justify his own suffering, to validate his own descent into moral decay. And still, through all that darkness, there’s a longing—for connection, for redemption, for being seen.

Post-Games, I don’t immediately see them jumping into a romantic relationship. I think they’d start as uneasy friends, two broken men orbiting around each other, not knowing if they’re going to collide or collapse. Over time, maybe, something more grows—awkward, hesitant, and messy.

And yes, in some ways it might even look like a toxic dynamic: In-ho as the abuser, Gi-hun as the one absorbing the damage. But there’s also something undeniably magnetic about them—something that says *soulmates*, not in a fluffy way, but in the sense that they are each other’s mirror and wound and medicine.

Neither of them can fully heal without the other. They are trauma-bound, but also bound by something deeper—recognition. They see each other, *truly*, and even if that connection is painful, it’s real.

Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your interpretation too—this ship definitely has more layers than it gets credit for.

Thank you so much!!!! Hearing you enjoy my fics means so much to me ❤️

As for the unmasking scene, I’m sure there are fics that explore the emotional toll Gi-hun goes through after learning who “Young-il” actually is. I’m also open to writing one myself. So we’ll see.

And I love and agree with everything you said here. Just perfect. Nothing more to add because I couldn’t have said it better myself.

[ruereii]

Hi there!

I really enjoy your fanfics, and I wanted to share a few thoughts with you about GinHo and *Squid Game*. I wouldn’t say I’m a hardcore fan of the series—I watched the first season when everyone else did and I liked it, but that was it. A few days ago, Iwatched the last two seasons, and that’s when everything kind of hit me differently.

As a psychologist, I found the dynamic between Gi-hun and In-ho absolutely fascinating. At the same time, I couldn’t help but feel deeply unsatisfied with how their storyline ended. That’s how I ended up diving into fix-it fanfiction—and yours, honestly, are more than amazing.

What really stuck with me in Season 2 was In-ho’s emotional state and what must’ve been going through his head when he was listening in on Gi-hun and Jung Bae’s conversation during that final night watch. He came across as jealous—not just of their bond, but also of Gi-hun’s ability to connect, to care, to *live*. And there was this almost wistful daydream quality to In-ho in that moment, like he could picture himself and Gi-hun going out for a drink together... which made his line, *“Buy me a soju when we get out”*, feel so natural and emotionally loaded.

I kept thinking about Gi-hun’s night after his encounter with In-ho/Young-il. It must’ve been a whirlwind. How do you reconcile the bright, warm, emotionally available person you just spent three intense days with... with the cold, masked, brutal persona of the Front Man? Once the shock wore off, I imagine Gi-hun was overwhelmed by flashbacks—confused, haunted, maybe even betrayed???

Are there any fanfics that explore this emotional fallout? Or would you consider writing one? I’d love to read your take on these moments.

Now, if I were to imagine a more emotionally satisfying ending… I get that the sacrifice and the current ending are powerful in a literary and symbolic sense—it's raw, it hits hard, it leaves a mark. But psychologically, I just can’t see In-ho letting it go that far. I believe that he truly has a deja vu and he sees himself again in the position to save a person he cares for and a child. I believe the words he says to Gin Hun - I will make sure you and the baby will live, u have mai word, are the same he had said to his wife.

The moment he saw that Gi-hun wasn’t doing what was expected of him, I think he would’ve flipped the green button on his own—or at least ordered a shutdown or evacuation faster, especially once his brother showed up.

In my mind, the three of them (plus the baby) leave the island—maybe not willingly for In-ho, because he doesn’t see life beyond the island as something he deserves—but Gi-hun reminds him that he still owes him that soju.

Maybe Gi-hun goes to America, finally gets closure with his family, and then comes back to Seoul—to get closure with In-ho too.

---

As for their relationship… to me, Gi-hun and In-ho are caught in a tragic emotional loop. In-ho is obsessed with Gi-hun—not in a romanticized, sweet way, but in a complicated web of fixation, infatuation, and control. There’s a deep-rooted ambivalence in the way In-ho treats him: part of him genuinely wants to protect Gi-hun but another part wants to *break* him, to test him, to pull him so close to the edge that he either falls—or proves he can survive.

It’s like he needs to see Gi-hun suffer in order to justify his own suffering, to validate his own descent into moral decay. And still, through all that darkness, there’s a longing—for connection, for redemption, for being seen.

Post-Games, I don’t immediately see them jumping into a romantic relationship. I think they’d start as uneasy friends, two broken men orbiting around each other, not knowing if they’re going to collide or collapse. Over time, maybe, something more grows—awkward, hesitant, and messy.

And yes, in some ways it might even look like a toxic dynamic: In-ho as the abuser, Gi-hun as the one absorbing the damage. But there’s also something undeniably magnetic about them—something that says *soulmates*, not in a fluffy way, but in the sense that they are each other’s mirror and wound and medicine.

Neither of them can fully heal without the other. They are trauma-bound, but also bound by something deeper—recognition. They see each other, *truly*, and even if that connection is painful, it’s real.

Let me know what you think. I'd love to hear your interpretation too—this ship definitely has more layers than it gets credit for.

Hello Anon! I'm similar to you as well where I watched s1 but my obsession didn't start until s2. Also, thank you so much for your compliment on my fics, I am so happy and honored that you enjoy them! There are actually a lot of fix-its out there ever since s3 came out, though I haven’t gotten around to reading them. I have considered writing the confrontation/ending scene + post canon of my own.

I typically have a darker lens when analyzing Inhun’s dynamics in canon. So take my interpretation with a grain of salt (I hope I don't get dogpiled for this lol).

For the soju scene, I think Inho was using it as leverage and manipulation similar to how he offhand mentions about people picking umbrella in Dalgona as well as the iconic “does it bother you” line after saying Gihun’s name. However! There is a small part of Inho that is envious of Gibae's friendship and also yearns to make human connections again despite how desensitized and brainwashed he is.

I think when Inho took off his mask, there was probably a lot going through Gihun’s mind. I can see him having flashbacks to Oh Ilnam, maybe that “of course” epiphany. As much as I reallyyyy wished Gihun and Inho had some conversation about what transpired between them; in that moment, I felt like Gihun cared more about keeping the baby safe and alive rather than Inho’s betrayal and everything else that comes with it (which just felt... idk odd like something is missing). On top of that, there was nothing to say to Inho as he was just “one of systematic wardens” who saw Gihun as a horse. He’s probably thinking “why would the Frontman genuinely care about a horse anyways?” (I still wished the confrontation was longer and I will forever be salty about it).

The canon ending. Okay, so, this might be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t feel like Inho was ever going to take that first step (whether ending the game or saving Gihun). The concept of “choice” is a repeated theme from s1 to s3. The guards talk about how the players “chose” to join the game, “chose” to sign the form even though this “choice” is a twisted illusion. In that moment when Gihun was standing on that last tower realizing it was either him or the baby, deep down he probably knew Inho wasn’t going to save him (again, Gihun believes FM sees him as a horse and not even a human).

Meanwhile, Inho was probably rationalizing it as “this was Gihun’s own choice, it's out of my hands, I gave him the opportunity, and he didn't take it" (Inho, you are a coward and I will forever believe that).

To me, Inho is a bird in a cage that is open but doesn’t know how to fly. Gihun could’ve taught him, encouraged him to fly again, but they parted ways with the only conversation being about the baby. That leads me into explaining the 2 ways I think could coax Inho to fly again:

Inho tells Gihun he was once a player

Gihun telling Inho that he can still make the right decisions and that it’s never too late

I don’t see option 2 happening since the moment Inho unmasks, the bridge between them had burned. To Gihun, he probably thought Inho joined the games to mess around and “have fun” similar to Ilnam. He never knew that Inho was unironically the only person in the world that would understand him, his trauma, and his desperation.

Option 1 would pretty much shatter Gihun’s perception of the Frontman, and pair it with Gihun’s empathy I think Gihun would’ve asked “what did they do to you?” “Why did you choose this?” It would make for a very interesting conversation and can lead into option 2 and then pave the way for Inho finally choosing to fly out of the cage. And the best place for this to happen is the damn confrontation scene.

Inho can have his wavering of heart, his very last bit of humanity spark again, but we also shouldn’t forget that Inho has been a prisoner of the Squid Game institution for ten years. The emotions he does show in s3 are the cracks starting to form in this cynical shell that he had learned to call home. But to undo all that psychological damage isn’t something that will go away in a few days. To me, Inho is someone who was broken who doesn’t even believe himself to be capable of making the good or right choices anymore.

Post-game is probably where all the healing would be happening. I also don’t see them jumping into a romantic relationship; however, I do see them trauma bonding (especially if Gihun knows Inho had played in the games before). I can see them having nightmares, one telling the other ‘it’s okay, I get them too’. Perhaps one day Inho would ask Gihun why he didn’t take the offer to kill the remaining finalists and Gihun would hesitate before saying “because someone once told me I was a good person and not a murderer. And I still believe her”. Gihun would essentially be the Saebyeok to Inho (Director HDH has also mentioned Inho didn’t have a Saebyeok in his games and maybe if that character existed, Inho’s path would turn out different).

Inhun holds a really special place in my heart, not just for their toxic/dark/erotic dynamic but also for their irony, unspoken, and unearthed understanding for each other. To me, I like to see Inho retain his corruption but leans toward the light while Gihun holds onto his faith, but his canvas is also splotched with darkness.

Thank you so much for this ask anon, I had to put on my canon Inhun thinking hat on. I really enjoyed reading and responding to it! ����

[demigods-posts]

imagine if thalia visited percy on his fifteen birthday. an apology lodged somewhere in the back of her throat. knocking on the apartment door while holding back tears. sally greeting her with the warm smile of a mother. paul welcoming her inside with the kind tone of a father. imagine thalia surprised to see percy and nico bonding over two slices of blue cake. feeling even more alienated as a big three kid. knowing these two had a relationship without her. imagine thalia meeting percy's eyes from across the room. and for a brief second. she swears his previously gleeful gaze turns cold and bitter. and she's waiting for the anger. for the tide to drown her. and she's prepared to welcome it. but then his gaze turns remorseful. and then apologetic. and he doesn't yell at her. instead. he invites her to sit next to him and nico. and welcomes her to a slice of blue cake. because time will pass anyway. and life's way too short for kids like them to not hold each other through it.

[dreamy-gal-30]

Hey there! Welcome to my hub of stories ❤️

Some of you know me already, but I thought it would be nice to make one of these 🙂

I’ve been reading fanfic for almost over 20 years, and when I got into this fandom, something changed. I’ve been inspired by so many of you in this fandom with all your amazing stories, and started telling my own. It’s been so much fun for me and it’s been a great outlet for me to help my anxiety and depression. But I wanna emphasise that I am no pro!

I realised that I read and tell stories filled with love, longing, desire, and all the beautiful, messy, and heartbreaking complications that can come with it. I love exploring relationships, tension, and that push-and-pull. And if you’ve read any of my works before or seen my comments on some of your amazing fics, then you know I have a soft spot for smut 👀

Right now, I’m deep in my Sebastian Sallow era—because this loveable menace has me in a chokehold—but who knows? Maybe I’ll branch out someday. 😂 For now, I’m having far too much fun with the complicated, bookish bastard to let go.

✨ My Stories ✨

Below you’ll find my completed works and WIPs, so you can easily find what I’ve worked on (and what stuff is still in progress). I’ll update this as I go on!

📖 Completed Stories:

Everything you deserve (& chicken fights)

A Little Valentine’s Day Special - MDNI

Hidden Pleasures - MDNI

Simmering Comfort

📝 Works in Progress/Ongoing:

What Remains

I don’t write on a strict schedule, but I’m always thinking about my stories (prob more than I should be lol). I love brainstorming and developing ideas—shoutout to @writingsoftarnishedsilver , @whizzing-fizzbee, and many other amazing human beings, where I’ve had so much fun tossing ideas around. 😍

If you ever want to chat, share ideas, or scream about Sebastian, my chat is always open. And if you have requests, please send them my way! I can’t promise I’ll get to everything, but I love hearing what you all want to see.

Thanks for being here, and I hope you enjoy the stories as much as I enjoy writing them! 💜

[elislulii]

!SPOILERS! FOR EPISODE 6 OF GELBOYS RENT!

This episode was absolutely chaotic, but in the best way possible! The way it balanced drama, emotions, and character development was so well done.

I have to give major credit to the director and the actors because they truly poured their hearts into this episode. The tension, the heartbreak, the subtle moments of understanding—it was all delivered so beautifull.

It had a little bit of everything, and I was hanging onto every moment.

The shift in Baabin and Bua’s relationship really got me. Seeing Bua develop feelings for Baabin, only to be rejected, was painful to watch. ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

This series does such an amazing job at portraying emotions in a way that feels so real and raw. The chemistry between the characters is so intense, and you can feel the weight of their emotions in every scene. I especially loved the moment when Fou4mod apologized. (I will say it loud and clear—I am a Fou4mod apologist!!) He’s just a silly, lovesick boy who can’t help but believe that no one truly wants him. He thinks he’s always the one being rejected, that he’s never enough, that he’s not worthy of love. ☹️ And it breaks my heart because none of this is his fault. He may have hurt Baabin, but it was never out of malice.

He still loves him so much, and you can see how deeply he regrets the things he said. Love can be messy. Love can make people act irrationally.

And then there was Fou4mod at the end, breaking down in tears and apologizing to Baabin, convinced he had lost him forever. That scene hit me so hard. And the way Baabin, despite everything, still knows deep down that he loves Fou4mod and wants to be there for him? My heart couldn’t take it.(⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠෴⁠ ⁠༎ຶ⁠)

And sometimes, when emotions get overwhelming, we push away the ones we love the most—even when all we want is to hold onto them.

And I will always defend him when it comes to this.

And then we have Baabin, who—despite everything that happened—chose to forgive Fou4mod. He chose to believe in him, to show him that he still cares, that he’s not going anywhere. That kind of unwavering love and understanding is so powerful. Baabin still has feelings for Fou4mod, and no matter how much he’s been hurt, he’s willing to stand by him. That moment of empathy, of silently reassuring Fou4mod that he is not alone, was just so beautiful.

Then we get to that moment at the end—the phone call where they both admitted they liked each other. But, of course, things couldn’t be that simple. Because then we nd then Baabin rejecting Bua because his heart still belongs to Fou4mod. OH. MY. GOD. The drama of it all.

Bua is such a messy character, but I can’t bring myself to be mad at him. He just wants to be loved, like any other person. With all the struggles he’s had in his family, his complicated feelings for Chian, and then turning to Baabin—he’s been through so much. And honestly? I love him. He deserves happiness. He deserves to be loved in a way that isn’t complicated or painful.

And Chian… my heart aches for him, too. He just wants to feel wanted. He wants to know that he’s more than just a passing fling, more than someone to be pushed aside when it’s convenient. And yet, the second the person who once treated him like an afterthought gives him even the smallest bit of attention, he’s right back to yearning for them. It’s that desperate, aching kind of love—the one that makes you feel like you’re always reaching for something just out of your grasp.

And in a way, Baabin and Fou4mod share that same dynamic. The push-and-pull. The longing. The heartbreak. The way Baabin still cares for Fou4mod, even after everything, just proves how deeply he loves him.

And Chian, just trying to hold onto whatever bits of love and attention he can get because he’s terrified of being left behind. The way this show explores these emotions is so well done, and I can’t help but connect with these characters on such a deep level.

I have to give a massive shoutout to the actors because the way they brought these emotions to life was phenomenal. The passion, the vulnerability, the chemistry—everything was just so real. It made the story feel even more powerful.

Gelboys is truly one of a kind, and I just know the final episode is going to destroy me. I have no idea if it’s going to end in happiness or complete devastation (or both 😭), but either way, I am not ready.

Thank u for reading about my rent! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡What do you guys think?

[itsmistyeyedbi]

from the short asks abt love list: 3, 8 & 11 for zuri 🫶🫶🫶🫶

Hi! Thank you so much for asking🥹❤️ I won't even attempt to say that I'll keep this short lol, I'll just see how it goes as I answer.

3. What does your OC look for in a romantic (or perhaps purely sexual) partner? Is this always healthy?

You know what? I think a good amount of any unhealthy aspects of her relationships come down to her. Not everything is set in stone, but a lot of the things she likes in a partner are pretty standard things.

Being kind and caring is one of them. They don't have to necessarily be nice, so long as they aren't running around intentionally hurting people (...unless there are very specific, convincing reasons for it - and it isn't happening regularly)

A good sense of humour is another one. She doesn't mind having to do a little digging to find it lol, so long as it's there.

She does like flirty (maybe even edging towards sexual) banter, so she usually leans towards people who are comfortable with that - whether that comes out as them responding in kind or them having a more bashful "stammering and clutching their pearls" response.

The main thing is someone that makes her feel special. It can be in how they treat her or speak about/to her (especially if it's different from how they treat or speak about/to others). Fortunately, it's always been less of an "I hate everyone but you" and more of a "You're the most amazing person I've ever met" - can't say the former has never done something for her though. This isn't something she actively looks for, it's just something that always draws her in. And it's gotten her into a little trouble sometimes.

8. Does your OC pursue only monogamous relationships? Or are they open to other, more creative, options?

She's only been in monogamous relationships. An open relationship would be a no, she just isn't comfortable with that. But I don't see her being averse to a polyamorous relationship.

There are some situations that would be easier for her to adjust to than others. If a couple both have an interest in her and wanted to explore the possibility of her being in a relationship with both of them, she'd be down. And excited. And nervous. She'd be more weary if she still had issues with relationships, but if she had enough of a handle on them, she'd be ready to try.

If she and her partner both developed an interest in someone, she could still be down to try. But it would have to be years into her relationship with them, with a lot of talking and her already having a handle on her issues with relationships before she could comfortably do that. If she didn't, she wouldn't be for it. She wouldn't want to complicate things by bringing someone in and possibly subjecting them to her messiness as well - she'd be grappling with the fact that she might be doing that to her partner already.

The most difficult situation would be if they're all single. As in, all three of them having feelings for each other but don't have an established romantic relationship. If there's a friendship there, maybe, but even then she'd be terrified of ruining things with both of them. Her insecurities would shine the most in these circumstances, unless she's dealt with them. But still, not the most ideal situation.

Now I'm thinking about the Adam/Nate/Zuri poly again, God I need to post about that soon.

11. Has your OC ever been the object of someone's affections that they did not (or could not) reciprocate?

Absolutely.

Depending on what route I'm playing, Douglas is one of them lmao. It's not something she can take seriously, but she does consider his feelings when she let's him know that nothing is gonna happen there. She makes sure he knows that she's too old for him.

There were a fair amount of people who showed an interest in her in uni. And she really didn't help because a lot of them were people that she'd spend a lot of time with at a party - chatting them up, getting to know them (but who's to say if they're getting to know her), drinking with them, dancing with them. Then she might make out with them, and on a few occasions, if she really enjoys their company, go home with them.

And she isn't the type to leave immediately after (unless they seem to want her to) - she's down to cuddle a little, maybe spend the night if things go so well that she doesn't even want to attempt to move wink wink, even have some tea the next morning. She isn't going to pretend to not know them afterwards either. If she sees them, she will talk to them.

It can definitely be read as there being some deeper interest there, so some of them do try to pursue something more and well... sometimes, she gives it a shot (as much as she can with her 'leave them before they leave me' mentality), but it ultimately doesn't work out. Even if she does end up having some kind of affection for them, it isn't in the same way or to the same extent that they have for her.

A short ask list about love.

[adaine]

hi, hello i finished reading force of attachment today and holy fuck. please excuse me if this doesn't make total sense, i've got so much to say!!

before diving into anything tho, i'd like to thank you! force of attachment is one of the most amazing reads i've had, like ever. maybe partially because you managed to combine two of my special interests PERFECTLY. it was everything.

let's start with the chatacters! jedi oscar was so fucking spot on, i loved being in his head, adored how his relationship with the force grew in parallel his relationship with lando. purple light saber? absolutely fitting. and then lando, the little minx the little gremlin! oh he was so well written, i loved how you let us get to know him bit by bit. lando at the zoo was so adorable, and his trust in oscar from the first second... yeah they both have my heart. mark was a very pleasant surprise, i ended up adoring him too, and galex being galex!!!!

you got me giggling and kicking my feet so many times, screaming too at some parts, and crying at the end.

i have to metion the coruscant chapter specifically (not just cause i could barely read from the tears), because it was so beautifully written and delicately crafted! i adore that you've decided to approach things from a non canon perspective, because yes, attachments aren't necessarily bad when you can process your feelings around them.

the attention to detail was also out of this world, i felt like i was watching a movie while reading the story. it fits so seamlessly into the star wars universe! the fun fact about a mudhorn's egg being fuzzy, the kyber arch, the podracing on tatooine!!!

i know i'm repeating myself but it was perfect. thank you so much for writing and sharing it!!!

augh thank you so much!!! i'm glad i could do both f1 and star wars justice for you :) i'm glad you liked my jedi oscar he's sooooo special to me. the purple lightsaber was jenna @oscarmeowstri's call bu i think it worked well! i too love star wars. clearly. and it was cool to learn even more about the universe i already loved while writing this fic! this fic was very inspired by the high republic series, which i definitely recommend if you haven't read them. i love stories about jedi being complicated and messy and figuring things out and this was my way of exploring that! thank you again for the nice compliments!!! <3

[egcdeath]

I am back with more succession au thoughts! Your idea of art being competition for the top spot is so big brained it’s amazing and makes total sense and adds so many layers and tension to their dynamic and history I love it so much because it’s so juicy especially if there’s years of shared history with reader too… and it puts patrick in such a classic kendall position of trying to seem fully capable of the job and not like a total mess to his dad and of course because then art can unleash his full inner snake. And kendall and stewy were never really in direct competition either so the potential for angst and messiness is even stronger in this au!

The tom/shiv dynamic with patrick as shiv is also so good because combining him with the misery and emotional rollercoaster that she goes through as the only sibling to actually keep an s/o throughout the show, an s/o that she actually loves even though it’s all complicated and fucked up and kinda unhealthy and codependent, is so interesting. like her arc in season 2 when the relationship with tom starts falling apart at the same time that she truly thinks she has the ceo spot especially comes to mind. failmarriage is objectively the best dynamic on a tv show even though it’s physically painful to watch!! Like S4 tomshiv made me want to tear my hair out but it was so well done and devastating and real

I’ve been rambling but I love combining my two favorite forms of media!

anon i love u so much please never stop sending me your succession au thoughts.

i would LOVE the mess of art being like stewy and patrick being like kendall and you (reader) kinda having a history with art but being with patrick. like not a full on love triangle but definitely some interesting feelings there that maybe could be improved if all of you just kissed idk tho. i also think that patrick struggling to have it all a la kendall roy and art taking that opportunity to try to get into the company would just be so good. like first he tries to steal patrick’s woman and now he’s trying to steal his family’s conglomerate??? sickening!

and patrick being as pathetic as kendall is just really speaking to me. we already see patrick at his lowest picking up cigarettes off the ground and getting his card declined at a shitty motel but like. imagine if patrick was wealthy and still miserable. like trying so hard to please his father who thinks he’s a fuckup. quit tennis LONG ago to appease his family even though he feels like he’s missing something without it. trying so hard to be a good significant other but you’re tired of him acting unhinged and trying so hard to please his dad and having no work life balance and barely any time for you and did he do COKE off your child’s IPAD????

anyway.

tomshiv patrick and reader. i agree with every single thing you said. i think it would be such a fun dynamic to explore! like yeah you’re kinda a gold digger from a small midwestern town and obviously you love patrick but you kinda love his money more. like just a little bit. and you start working at his family’s conglomerate and you’re moving up the ranks and patrick’s dad almost dies and you’re like let’s get married (mostly so you can get a piece of the pie if something happens to his dad) and he asks for an open marriage on your wedding night but you love him and you love his money so you’re hurt but you don’t let it stop you and the pattern of him embarrassing you in front of his family or just in general doesn’t really end but it’s ok because you get your revenge and undermine him with his dad and your relationship is kinda permanently altered and you really do love each other. you do! but you both have a weird way of showing it because his dad never loved him like he should’ve and you’re starting to feel like the love you have for his money is starting to rival the love you have for him. anyway all succession heads know how the show ends so the reader would end up on top but at what cost!

anyway. never feel ashamed of rambling in my ask box. i’ll actually ramble right back at you. succession anon please keep rambling to me!!!

[shutupeiffel]

4, 8, 12 for the bookworm asks?

Thank you for these prompts!

4 - Favourite sci-fi books: This is going to be a very abbreviated list because otherwise i could go on for days but some of my favourites are:

The Wayfarers series by Becky Chambers - hopeful and character driven sci fi that weaves some amazing anthropological world building in and also convinced me after a reading slump that actually I didn't hate books, I just needed to read the right ones

The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir - there's nothing I can say about these books that hasn't been said by twenty thousand other people. They're amazing, they're the perfect blend of sci-fi/fantasy, go read all three and then suffer with the rest of us in anticipation for book 4

Dreadnought by April Daniels - Trans girl inherits the powers of a superhero, including giving her the perfect body - aka transition speedrun, aka my personal dream. A really interesting look at superheroes and what it would actually be like to be thrust into that world - if you want to know more, The Hidden Bookcase did a great episode on it!

8 - Favourite Queer Fiction Books: Again, too many to count, but here are some highlights

The London Calling series by Alexis Hall - The gay rom com we all deserve. Starts off with fake dating, ends with a book dedicated to the complicated relationship queer people have with marriage and the experience of reaching that weird age where all your friends are getting married and you don't know what to do with yourself. Will make you laugh, sob, then laugh and sob simultaneously

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters - don't let the title put you off like it nearly did me, this book is not weird TERF stuff. Instead it's an incredibly powerful look at trans experiences, motherhood, loneliness and, yes, detransition. Every character is messy and flawed in a way that trans people - especially trans women - are very rarely allowed to be, and honestly its so refreshing. 10/10, would not recommend to cis people unless they're really chill with trans people.

Infamous by Lex Croucher - Found this in a bookshop for £2.50, took a chance on it since I recognised Croucher from their YouTube days, instantly fell in love. Croucher has an absolute gift for writing complicated female protagonists, deconstructing the 'not like other girls' mindset from within and exploring the dangers of being caught up in that idea of yourself and the kind of superiority complex you get. Also it's Regency and it's lesbians, which are two things almost guaranteed to get me into a book.

12 - Favourite Horror Books:

How To Sell A Haunted House by Grady Hendrix - Absolutely gripping horror - I spent the entire book trying to work out if I was enjoying myself or genuinely terrified, but my god did I finish it. All the best horror is secretly a metaphor for something else, and this one is no difference. There's some amazing explorations of generational trauma and the impact of keeping secrets, even when you don't even know you're keeping said secrets because you've just repressed the memories so incredibly hard. Also - terrifying murder puppets.

A House With Good Bones by T Kingfisher - Apparently I love a creepy house/tale of generational trauma? I found T Kingfisher through her fantasy book Nettle & Bone, so was apprehensive about horror, but this book was amazing. Also has some great Suburban America Horror and a really solid mystery running through, which is absolutely essential for me with horror - I am, at heart, a murder mystery boy who happens to also vibe with ghosts, especially rose based ones

[aspenlovesmedia]

I actually kinda agree with this. I like shipping, but I think TMA has so much more interesting things. I do think people can write what they want to write, but I do feel like fandom in general is so focused on shipping and as someone who tends to prefer platonic relationships and is super into worldbuilding, I feel like there’s so much that is forgotten about.

So, I think part of it is that Jmart had such a tragic and vague ending, which I get why that makes people want to write about them and give them a happier ending and stuff like that, but at the same time I never see people talk about Georgie and Melanie, who frankly have so much trauma you could explore yet I don’t see it done.

I have seen like 3 posts on Basira herself, and that breaks my heart because in my opinion she is the best written character in the series. She’s such a hypocrite but you understand her so well and that’s such an amazing feat of writing but she’s so neglected by the fandom and the only time I tend to see her talked about is when she’s being shipped with Daisy.

I’ve noticed a lot of people seem to think that having characters be romantically involved with each other makes something more tragic, but I completely disagree with that. Romantic love is not stronger than platonic love, they are just different forms of love. Personally I don’t ship Daisy and Basira, and while I’m fine if people do, I think a lot of people do it to try and add to the tragedy of their situation where in my opinion, it doesn’t add anything.

I have to admit I do love Jmart, but I do often get frustrated by it, especially with how people portray Martin. Martin is a sweetheart yes, but he’s so much more than that. I’ve seen people say he’s super manipulative, which in a way he kind of is, but that’s far from all he is too.

I only got into TMA in October, so I am very, very new to the fandom lol, but the reason I have fallen so deeply in love with the story is that I have never seen more human characters. I love the world and story deeply, but the characters are just so complicated and messy but in such an understandable way and I love it, and I feel there is a part of the fandom that misses the complexity. People are so fast to write of a character as 1 thing, while in TMA itself they are so many things and that’s such incredible writing. There seems to be such a determination to make these characters into 1 thing rather than the complex characters that they are, and I do hate that.

Sorry about how long this is lol. I had thoughts. I could honestly talk a lot more about how I feel there are so many aspects to the worldbuilding that could be explored and how certain characters don’t get talked about enough (cough Melanie cough), but I’m going to leave this there or we’ll be here all day.

i'm considering heavily the effects of fandom culture on the magnus archives fandom in general. the podcast is a horror podcast- it's written as such, it has lore, each character with such complex backstories and crazy realistic development- yet, it's reduced to a shipping competition? i really wonder why. it's difficult to grasp fandoms in general now because of such things but the magnus archives is one of those ones where it is the CENTERPOINT. even in a show similarly formatted, similar in homo shipping, nightvale is certainly not (in my experience) as ship heavy.

i struggle with it simply because of the fact there is so, SO much else to explore- and it hasn't been. it feels like the story is so agressively neglected.

[simoneashleydaily]

Simone Ashley as the Cover Story for Porter Magazine

COVER STORY HOT PROPERTY With Simone Ashley

Sex Education fans will already be familiar with her withering quips, but now SIMONE ASHLEY is trading high school for high society as the new lead in the second instalment of Bridgerton. Here, the actor explores responsibility and representation with SHANNON MAHANTY – and reveals how living without fear has shaped her success

Photography Petros StudioStyling Marquessa Whyte

In a French cafe in Chelsea, Simone Ashley is sipping tea, while simultaneously spilling the tea. “The second season is much grittier,” she says, giving a coy grin. “There’s a lot of drama and a lot of sexual tension. My parents will be watching it – but not with me!”

She is, of course, talking about the return of Bridgerton, the second-most-watched show on Netflix in 2021. Courtesy of Shonda Rhimes’ Shondaland production company, the adaptation of Julia Quinn’s novels – which follow the love lives of Regency-era high society – became a breakout blockbuster hit. The antithesis of stuffy period dramas, it was full of deliciously opulent costumes, parties and sex, while the diverse casting and quick-witted script gave the genre a much-needed update.

Ashley joins the cast for the highly anticipated second season, playing Kate Sharma, a new arrival to London and the love interest of the eldest Bridgerton brother, Anthony (played by Jonathan Bailey). “It’s like a fairy tale,” muses Ashley, “but, you know, it’s not a typical fairy tale because these [are] two incredibly complex characters. For want of a better expression, [it’s] fucked-up people with a complicated history.”

Intricate, forbidden romances are what the show does best; last season’s leads, Phoebe Dynevor and Regé-Jean Page, were propelled to global fame after playing the eldest Bridgerton daughter and admiring Duke of Hastings, who found real love during a duplicitous courtship. As per the books, the second series focuses on a different Bridgerton sibling – this time, the troubled and emotionally unavailable viscount.

Ashley’s character, Kate, is headstrong and sharp (the role required her to take a crash course in horse riding), and when she meets Anthony Bridgerton, the two instantly clash. But then he pursues her younger sister and pure hatred turns into passionate tension – and a messy love triangle ensues. There are tantalizing will-they/won’t-they moments galore and Ashley assures me it’s worth the build-up. “Johnny and I have incredible working chemistry together. It was explosive on set.” It was helpful that they got on well off-camera, too. “There was no real time to hang out, but we did manage to sneak off for a drink together one day when we were filming on location. We’ve always had each other’s backs from the start; it’s a partnership.”

Did it feel intimidating joining the already-established ranks of the cast? “I think I’m quite good at detaching myself from the pressure,” she considers. “I really clicked with the part, which gave me confidence.”

When the show’s first season arrived on our screens at the end of 2020, it brought a much-longed-for dose of glamour, never-ending balls and salacious gossip. Ashley admits she was late to the party in watching it. At the time, the 26-year-old was filming season three of Sex Education, another zeitgeist-defining Netflix series. “We were in Wales shooting, but I remember everyone was talking about Bridgerton – it was so incredibly popular. Then, two weeks later, I got a text saying they were interested in me for season two.” Praised for its refreshing and frank portrayal of sex, relationships and teenage experiences, Sex Education – like Bridgerton – has challenged the status quo when it comes to diversity and representation in the characters and storylines it depicts on screen.

“Being part of these shows feels amazing,” says Ashley. “And it also feels like the right thing to do. [The diversity] isn’t really commented on in either of them, it’s just normalized, and I think that’s what makes them so great. I think the more these shows are being created, the more normal it’s becoming. I can certainly feel a temperature change.”

These titles might be breaking ground, but South Asian women are still woefully underrepresented onscreen – a US study of 2020-2021 TV found that their share of screen time stood at just 0.3 percent. As a woman of Indian heritage playing the lead role of a major drama, did Ashley feel an increased sense of responsibility for the job? “Of course I am deeply proud of my heritage, [but] no,” she says, firmly, “because I’m not a spokesperson for Indian people, I’m an actress. For me, my responsibility is to read the script, do the work, turn up on set and do a great job. That’s it. I guess everyone deals with it in their own way, but I am an actress at the end of the day. Opportunities should be open for any individual, and I just think us being there is enough.”

These titles might be breaking ground, but South Asian women are still woefully underrepresented onscreen – a US study of 2020-2021 TV found that their share of screen time stood at just 0.3 percent. As a woman of Indian heritage playing the lead role of a major drama, did Ashley feel an increased sense of responsibility for the job? “Of course I am deeply proud of my heritage, [but] no,” she says, firmly, “because I’m not a spokesperson for Indian people, I’m an actress. For me, my responsibility is to read the script, do the work, turn up on set and do a great job. That’s it. I guess everyone deals with it in their own way, but I am an actress at the end of the day. Opportunities should be open for any individual, and I just think us being there is enough.”

Ashley says that she is drawn to roles that “do something different. I am interested in some culturally specific parts, but I want to go up for roles that anyone can go for. I love movies about the human experience, [and] characters with a really interesting journey, who I really want to fight for. And it’s got to be fun at the end of the day – whether it’s a drama or a comedy – because you’re giving up months of your life for it, [so] why wouldn’t you want to have fun?”

Born in Surrey, Ashley moved to London as a teenager to pursue acting. “My family don’t have a background in this kind of industry,” she explains. “I realized at a young age that if I wanted to gain experience and connections and understand how it works, I would have to go and do it. I was always fearless; if I want something, I’ll go and get it. I’m like that with a lot of things in my life.”

After studying performing arts at college, she landed a place at ArtsEd drama school before picking up small television parts and eventually joining the Sex Education cast as a member of the school’s popular clique. Now about to embark on the rigorous press cycle for Bridgerton, she is committed to balancing her hard work ethic with time for herself.

“I always make sure I get 20 minutes at the end of the day to just switch off,” she says. “I’ve got a dog, so I walk her every morning. Even if I’m knackered or bored, I put my phone away and I take her out for an hour and a half in the morning. Knowing that I’ve been in the fresh air, that I’ve been in a park, it makes such a difference.

“Self-care, looking after your holistic self is so important,” she continues. “But I do think it’s about finding balance; you’ve got to live your life, too. I always say the heart is like a house and if you clean all your dirty rooms, then you can invite people in. Self-care is cleaning the house, but then you’ve gotta go and have a house party! This industry is supposed to be fun, so I also like to put my heels on and have a boogie.”

When she’s not donning a corset onscreen, you are likely to find Ashley sitting front row at fashion week or, as she did last year, attending the Fashion Awards in a custom AZ Factory two-piece, inspired by Cher. She scrolls through a WhatsApp group to reveal the slew of reference images and designer sketches that went into creating that look. “I felt very spoiled; it was just the coolest [outfit], and that’s what I wanted – to feel cool and elegant and sexy at the same time.” Ashley works with stylist Rebecca Corbin-Murray, who the actor credits with making red carpets feel fun. “I always feel like I’m in great hands. She’s got amazing taste, but it goes deeper than that; she’s so confident in her opinions and she’s got such a good heart.”

As we get ready to leave, Ashley reflects on this period of time before Bridgerton season two, her biggest role to date, is released. “I haven’t seen the last two episodes yet, but I don’t know if I want to! We’ve already wrapped the season, [so] once I’ve seen it, that’s it – it’s over. So, I’m kind of holding on to those last two, [then] it’s not quite done yet.”

Bridgerton season two will be available to stream on Netflix from March 25

[blackbird-brewster]

JJ and Tara are super cute together! I always love the idea of JJ just being so in awe of Tara. I’ve been trying to figure out what to write for them, too but I’m not sure where to start haha.

Also I had been reading your Je’temily stories as well, and they are amazing! I really love the idea of JJ and Emily dating, and Emily having a thing for Tara that JJ teases her about, until JJ sees why Emily is attracted to Tara. Then JJ’s like “oh. I think I like her too.”

Hi!!

Tara is just SUCH a good character. It's not surprising that she catches both Emily and JJ's eye.

Eeee TYSM for reading! <3 Obviously [Fooled Around] is an AU, so it was a bit easier to write healthy polyamorous Je T'Emily. I think to write it in a canon context, I'm going to have to ignore quite a few logistics of their jobs lol. But I still want to write more Je T'Emily (that isn't just threesomes) bc I love their softness. My main fic vibes for each ship are SO different, so it's really fun to mix things up and try writing new stuff with these incredible characters. Not that you asked, I've just been thinking about this lately Jemily: They had a history that is long and messy and complicated. There will always be love there but a lot of times I write them as sort of 'we found each other at the wrong times of our lives and it never quite worked out', especially bc of Will/kids. (I write some Domestic/Fluff Jemily but not often). I just feel that's really a true to life experience. Not every story has a happy ending Temily: OH GOD TEMILY!!!! Basically Emily and Tara being hesitant about approaching each other bc they've both been burned in relationships in the past. But then Emily being like 'wow this is so easy?' bc Tara is single and out and proud. Their connection is so natural and not complicated. (Also, I rarely write Temily that doesn't have prior-Jemily because I think prior-JEmily really navigates Emily's motives and hesitations) Jara: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm currently working on a multi-chap that's post-divorce for JJ. Tara and JJ are bff and Tara has been through a divorce before so she's there for JJ in anyway she needs. And then...oops??? Turns out we really like each other!? Sort of how Jemily is always messy imo, Jara really only makes sense in JJ is single. Because I really don't see Tara being someone to mess around with a married woman (no offence, Emily!). So I'm currently exploring that relationship. I love their sass together and I just really love their friendship. They're such a great pair!!!!

That brings me to Je T'Emily!!!!! GOD WHAT AN IMPORTANT OT3!!!!! Whether it's established Temily or established Jemily, I think it's really easy to imagine either of those situations where they look at the third woman and both people go 'oh....fuck. she's....amazing???'

I am very emotional about Je T'Emily right now because Fooled Around just ended and I miss them so much already.

Thanks for the ask, here's an unsolicited abridged version of my deep emotions about my fave fictional women!

[camxnoel-updates]

Cameron Monaghan brought the character of Ian Gallagher to life on Showtime’s hit series, Shameless. The series aired for a total of 11 seasons after originally premiering in 2011. It ranked as the network’s no. 1 comedy, longest-running series, and had the youngest-skewing audience of any Showtime series. Monaghan also joined two legendary universes with roles in both Gotham and Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order, which I got to ask him about too!

The final season of SHAMELESS finds the Gallagher family and the South Side at a crossroads, with changes caused by the COVID pandemic, gentrification, and aging to reconcile. As Frank confronts his own mortality and family ties in his alcoholic and drug-induced twilight years, Lip struggles with the prospect of becoming the family’s new patriarch. Newlyweds Ian (Cameron Monaghan) and Mickey (Noel Fisher) are figuring out the rules and responsibilities of being in a committed relationship while Deb embraces her individuality and single motherhood. Carl finds an unlikely new career in law enforcement and Kevin and V struggle to decide whether a hard life on the South Side is worth fighting for.

Along with the final season, fans also got a six-episode series that featured new Shameless scenes juxtaposed with a retrospective look at each character’s journey over the prior 10 seasons, titled, Shameless Hall of Shame. The first episode followed Ian and Mickey, showcasing their unique relationship and its evolution from a teen fling into a loving, complicated marriage.

I was able to chat with the actor over zoom and ask him all of my burning questions regarding the series finale, Ian and Mickey’s future, the show’s open ending, the representation his character provided to those watching, what he kept from the set, his future projects, and so much more! Keep reading to find out everything he told me.

So first of all, I want to say a huge congrats to you for wrapping Shameless after 11 seasons and bringing this character to life, who has inspired so many and that so many relate to. I wanted to ask, what has your time on the show meant to you and how would you describe how it helped you grow as an actor?

Cameron Monaghan: I mean, it’s so difficult to distill 11 years into some sort of concise answer, but it’s meant a lot for so many reasons. I think that obviously it’s been important for my career and my life in a sense of how it’s not only given me exposure but also given all of us a platform as performers to be able to tell interesting and challenging stories and to really develop and grow. Obviously, we had a couple of old pros on the show– when I say old pros, I’m not calling them old, just that they’re professionals and they’ve been doing it for a long time, but like William H. Macy, Joan Cusack, and a number of people who had very storied careers. Then we had actors on the show who had never appeared on anything prior and for a lot of us, we were somewhere in the middle, where we’d been working for a number of years, but hadn’t been given the opportunities to really put ourselves out there in such a significant way.

So being able to get an audience over the course of 11 years– and the show grew steadily, it was a marginal success at first, but it wasn’t until like season 4 or 5 that it really started to be seen by people and really connect on a larger platform, and a lot of that had to do with Netflix. When that happens we had such an influx of people kind of saying how they related to it and I think that that’s something that I’ve really taken away– I think we’ve all taken away, to be able to hear a lot of other people’s stories and how they’ve connected these stories in entirely different ways. Everyone has had different favorite characters or storylines and they have brought their own personal experiences to that, but for people to say that they feel seen or heard in some ways by these stories, I think is very special. You know, the character that I was playing was an LGBT love story, as well as a story about mental illness, and coping and struggling with that. I had so many positive responses from people regarding those things, and it was amazing to hear people’s responses. So I think that not only was I able to grow as an actor but being able to hear that response and feedback helps you grow as a human being too. I guess that’s what one of my major takeaways is.

What was that final day of shooting like for you, and how did you feel when you officially wrapped?

It was a bit surreal. I don’t think it really set in at first. It’s always funny when you wrap on a project, I feel like it comes in waves, and with something like a TV show, you start to feel it on the last few episodes of like, “Oh, wow, it’s going to be over.” You start trying to find your little ways of saying goodbye to people and understanding that these conversations are obviously not the last for everyone; we’re still close with each other, but you start to recognize that within the context of the show they’ll be your last so that’s a difficult thing. I’ve never been particularly good at saying goodbye, you know? I feel like in general, I’m kind of a person that just likes to be like, “I’m just going to walk away from it cause I don’t know what else to do really.”

So, we were shooting pretty late at night and we were all there hanging out and cracking jokes, and it was just of like, “Oh, I guess that’s it.” We all kind of looked at each other like, “Well, what do we do now?” A bunch of us stuck around for a few hours afterward, we popped a bottle of champagne, and we sat in each others’ trailers and just kinda hung out until pretty early in the morning, the next day. Then we’ve all kind of just been hanging out and seeing each other since. Everyone’s been really busy, thankfully. So we’ve been traveling and going to different cities for work, but when we’ve been in town we’ve been trying to see each other. I had dinner with Jeremy and Ethan, who played my brothers on the show last week. Noel Fisher, I just saw yesterday. I’m going to see Shanola Hampton in a few days. We’re all still staying in touch with each other is what I’ll say.

Were you personally satisfied with the ending of the show? I think it was very open-ended, which was kind of nice and left a lot open for the future. And was there anything you wanted to see for your character that we weren’t able to?

Endings are difficult in general, but I feel like, especially with a show like Shameless, which is a show about a slice of life and sort of how existence doesn’t really fall into a perfect narrative; it tends to be messy and kind of just continue in spite of itself, and it’s a stream of these little victories and these constant mistakes. So you can’t really cap off a pure ending to a story like that. I think that what John Wells tried to do with writing it is not really conclude the stories. He concludes certain aspects, but the way that he explained it to us is he wanted it to feel like if you were walking through the streets of Chicago, maybe you might bump into these characters. Maybe they’re still out there and maybe they’re still doing things. Some of us had more resolution than others.

I would actually say that the Ian and Mickey storyline was one that did have a fair amount of resolution for the final episode. It was about their anniversary, how they were going to deal with their future, and they’ve kind of figured out some sort of life with each other. There are still large questions, whether or not they’re going to have kids and what the terms of their marriage will entail in the future, but those are questions that are lifelong questions, and ones that I think that we know these characters well enough and we understand their relationships well enough that we can draw our own conclusions for. I think there is something beautiful about the fact that the audience will project what their future for these characters will be.

I think it was a challenging final season because of so many extenuating factors in the world. All shows, businesses, everything was trying frantically to keep up with a changing landscape, and the fact that we were able to make it in spite of all of those things, I think is a victory in itself; one that we are all proud of and happy with. I do think there’s still a future, years out, where we might return to these characters and explore them further. I think that I’m happy putting them to bed for now, I think we all are, but I would like to maybe check in with these characters in 5 or 10 years, and just kind of see where they’re at and what they’re doing.

Kind of like a little Shameless movie, just to play catch up for a little bit.

Yeah, I think that’s something that is kind of more possible now with these streaming networks. They’ve done it with a few series, to sometimes success and sometimes mixed results, but I do think there is a possibility of a reunion season or something like that, depending on where the show fits into the public consciousness in a few years, you know? It’s an open question, but one I’d be excited to see.

How you would describe Ian’s evolution and journey on the show?

I think that Ian has come a long way in terms of confidence and assuredness in himself and his own decisions. I think that’s what a lot of the exploration of the character was, especially in the middle seasons between seasons like 3 to 8 or 9, are this guy who sort of just doesn’t necessarily know what he wants for himself and he’s dealing with a bunch of surprises about himself that he doesn’t necessarily understand, or hasn’t really come to terms with. I think it’s amazing to see Ian in these earlier episodes where he’s kind of getting kicked around by his relationships and by his family. He’s kind of a forgotten kid a little bit. He’s like a middle child, who’s just sort of– people aren’t really looking out for him. His brother does to a certain extent, but also his brother is kind of telling him what he wants for himself and Ian isn’t as active.

At a certain point, he starts to really come into his own as an adult and as a human being. I think it’s amazing how we see him as not only a big brother by the end of the series, but also sort of– there’s something a bit paternal about him. He becomes a bit of a father figure, even a little bit in his relationships. I think it’s interesting how Mickey was always sort of the commanding force and deciding factor for so much of the series; when Ian was really struggling with mental illness and down in the dumps, Mickey is the kind of guy who was looking after him, but by the end of the series, Mickey is a bit childlike in certain ways. Ian is kind of protecting him to a certain extent, and even with his older brother, Lip, Ian is sort of looking out for him in a slightly paternal way, which I think is kind of interesting. He really comes a long way in sort of being confident enough in himself to start looking out for other people that I think is a really great quality. It makes him a character who has made a fair amount of mistakes but mistakes that we understand, and I think that ultimately he’s a guy that I understand and really relate to because he does have this quality to him.

So I have to ask you some questions about Ian and Mickey. I personally love them together, they were one of the reasons I started watching the show. In the end, as you said, we kind of get some closure, but also an open ending with them and it’s a happy one; they’re together and celebrating their anniversary. In your head, what do you think that their future holds? Do you think kids are in the picture; do you think they’re going to be parents? Ideally, what is your version of their happy ending, if you could create it?

I think that they both still need to do some work. I would say that they need to do work as a couple in their marriage still of just defining the terms of what is it that they want financially, sexually, intimately, personally, all of these things. It’s a show full of people who aren’t great at communication or dealing with their own feelings– I mean to a certain extent, most human beings aren’t, but these guys, especially, come from a rough background and they have that tendency of just kind of wanting to push that stuff down. Ian has really opened up Mickey and Mickey to a certain extent has really opened up Ian over the course of the series, but I still don’t think they’re fully all the way there. Mickey has a lot of emotional baggage when it comes to parenthood, his father, and dealing with responsibility.

I don’t know if Mickey is fully there. Hopefully, he would be one day in the future. And hopefully, Ian would be patient enough to give him the space to make that decision and to not want to rush into it. I do think that it would be something in their future. Parenthood was a huge motivating factor for Ian earlier in the series, going so far as to steal someone’s baby at some point because he wants to be a father. I would hope that they would be able to provide that for him and for themselves, but there’s no way to know, we have to sort of make that assumption for ourselves, but I think so.

Ian and Mickey have been this fan-favorite couple that means so much to the LGBTQ+ community in terms of representation. What was the moment that you personally started rooting for them?

I think it was pretty early. I was rooting for Ian from the first episode, from the pilot, but the second that Mickey gets introduced to the show, he brought such a fun dynamic with him. Obviously, a massive amount of charisma that was coming from Noel Fisher. The scenes were always fun, exciting, and felt steeped in a lot of dramatic tension. Whether or not they were destined to be together was kind of a question that still was developing. In the first season to the third season, the Mickey character is pretty rough emotionally and physically; he is at points pretty, extremely abusive in a way that is great for a character and for a story, but if I was talking to Ian as a person in real life, I would probably say, “Get the hell away from this guy. He’s awful for you.”

But within the context of the story, we’re able to get the internal life of these characters and we understand them well enough to really want to be rooting for them and see them succeed. It builds into this pretty epic love story of these characters that really do feel kind of intertwined by fate and something greater. It feels like you have these forces pulling for them in a way that you want with every fiber of your being to see it work out for them because you care for them. So obviously, Noel and I had been rooting for these characters the entire time, but it was really fun playing some of the ridiculousness of the situations of the two of them, where they were just very at odds with each other at times. It was a joy bouncing off of each other in both the highs and the lows of the character.

Is there sort of a message that you hope their love story gives to viewers that see themselves in these characters?

Well, I think the aspects of the characters, especially for Mickey, that I’m sure a lot of people relate to, and it is sort of the greatest tragedy of the character, is how he is deeply in the closet and he feels that he can’t embrace his own self and also this beautiful love because of this situation that he’s in; a traumatic home life, specifically an abusive father, and also an environment that doesn’t allow him to be what he wants to be. I guess the message that I do hope that people who are relating to that get is that there are places where you can be accepted and there are better options for you, and sometimes that takes time, but as cliched as it is, it does get better. So hopefully people are able to find these safe environments for themselves to be able to improve the quality of life and to get better situations. I hope that people find hope in the story ultimately.

Another relationship of Ian’s that I have to discuss is his relationship with the whole Gallagher family; that was a focus of the series since day one. What was your favorite part of their dynamic and playing off that?

Obviously, the chaos of the family is always really fun to play. We had these scenes that were kind of an amazing balancing act of like 8 or 9 people in a scene, all messing around with these different storylines that are bouncing off of each other, intertwining, and you have this really biting sharp satirical dialogue that all had a very specific rhythm to it and was a sort of flow that was established early in the show that was kind of kept across the entire series; one that was a genuine joy as a performer to play. But I think that specifically the relationship that I’ve always been a fan of and I love from the start, is probably– it’s definitely one of my favorite relationships on the show– was the relationship between Ian and Lip.

There’s not a lot of depictions of brotherhood and intimacy between men that are deeply sensitive, close, and uncomplicated. Those are definitely scenes that I felt very personally moved by, of two brothers who have just had a world of shit, a lot of complicated and messed up things that have been dropped on their heads that they’ve been dealing with for the entirety of their lives, but they’ve sort of made a pact that they were just gonna be there for each other no matter what. If they weren’t there for each other, who knows if they would have survived. I think that there’s something really amazing about those scenes in that they’re just very open with each other, and that’s something that’s established right from the start and was kind of one of those key relationships for the show that survived until the very last episode and that I’m very proud of, cause I do think that those are some of my personal favorite scenes of the show.

Here’s a fun three-part question: most challenging, fun, and insane storyline for you as an actor?

Most challenging would probably have to be… we reached a point in the series around season 8 and they were trying to contextualize the characters in a modern way, put them into new circumstances, but try to retain what the characters were, but they’ve moved a lot from where they originally were. We were at a point where we were getting so many new writers onto the series, and the show I feel struggled for a second, which happens with any series that’s been on for a while. It felt like there was a point where they didn’t know what they wanted to do with Ian. There were a couple of episodes where I was kind of looking at the story and being like, “What are we doing here? It doesn’t really feel like anything is happening with him and we’re kind of floating across these relationships.” I wasn’t sure what we were trying to say, but that being said, that is kind of true to life, to a certain degree, where we do find ourselves sometimes in these ruts where we don’t know what we’re doing with our relationships, our lives, and ourselves. There is a little bit of a struggle there and that is kind of real to a certain degree, and I do think having those episodes make when they started finding the way with the character and relationships again, kind of more satisfying cause he sort of loses his way and he comes back. So it was kind of a challenge, but I think it all worked out ultimately.

Craziest would have to be… so this is one that no one would even know is like a thing really, no one would even think of it as a thing, but the scene in the pilot episode, Lip and Ian jump out of like a window and they run out of a house to escape an angry parent, right? And they’re kind of running in a rush. So they run out in their socks, down the street, and it’s the middle of January in Chicago and the streets are covered in mud, water, and ice. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever felt in my life that I actually thought my feet were going to like fall off. I thought we were going to have to amputate a toe because of frostbite. We did the scene a bunch of times, and because Jeremy and I were young, we were just sort of trying to be tough, just like, “Yeah, whatever, it’s not a problem. We can do this over and over, not a big deal.” Then I definitely learned a lesson of like, when something is a problem, you have to say, it’s a problem.

Most fun… I don’t know if I can distill it to just one scene. I think the most fun was just getting to interact with all of the wildly different personalities of our show, and just kind of get to sit around and hang out with everyone. There were times that we would just be laughing so hard that one of us would start and we just end up crying, laughing. Usually, it was because of Howey cracking jokes or something like that, but it could be just the dumbest to smallest thing, but it’s the kind of thing when you become so comfortable with people, it just starts to happen. Sometimes it was just the downtime and these little small kind of boring or mundane moments that really ended up being some of my favorite experiences.

Did you take anything from the set at all?

I did. So in the final season, there’s a storyline where Frank steals Nighthawks, the Edward Hopper painting, and that was actually done in cooperation with the Art Institute of Chicago and the Edward Hopper estate. They did these really high-resolution prints of it that were then painted over by hand, and they even took pictures of the back and mimicked the way that the canvas wrapped over, the small writing, and everything. It’s a pretty damn good forgery of Nighthawks. So I stole one of those and that’s hanging up in my living room. I also stole one of the mugs cause in the show we’re always having breakfast and drinking coffee, so there are these rooster mugs and I stole one of those.

Since you’re talking to The Nerds of Color, I have to ask you about Star Wars and Gotham. What stood out to you about Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order compared to your other work, and what did it mean to you to join that iconic universe?

I mean, what stood out pretty quickly was that it had a tone all of its own. Star Wars is a very specific tone. It has sort of its own language, pacing, style, and rhythm; there’s something very specific about it, something that I’m a big fan of. I grew up watching the Star Wars movies and that was definitely… you know, anytime that you’re jumping onto something with an active and passionate fanbase it’s going to be slightly intimidating. There’s no way around that. Thankfully, I’ve at this point done enough projects with really passionate fanbases to kind of understand what that entails, which is that there’s going to be a lot of opinions. A lot of people are really excited about things and no matter what, even the smallest things, someone’s going to be very, very angry about it. That comes along with the territory, but that’s kind of fun to a certain degree; it’s fun to hear such minutiae and being examined, and these conversations are ones that are being had on set too.

There’s so much conversation between the Lucasfilm story group, Respawn, and EA, who are the production companies behind the game, and also the cast, directors, and everybody involved are sometimes discussing, “How does a person stand? How does one get onto a speeder bike? What kind of sound does this monster make?” And there’s always a genuine deference and respect to the series. We know how much people care about it. We know because we care about it a lot, and everyone on this project are huge fans of the source material. So that was exciting to be a part of, obviously; I mean, that should go without saying. It’s so freaking cool to be a Jedi and to be the face of this massive franchise, and to be able to not only be a part of a really well-known property and part of this large project but also to be able to tell an interesting and intimate story within it. For as bombastic as all of the action is, and as big as the Star Wars universe is, I feel the story of Cal Kestis and the people that he interacts with is a somewhat smaller one and a more intimate one. It’s ultimately, at least for me, a pretty emotionally resonant one and a story that I actually very much care about and relate to. I think that was probably the most exciting part about it, was being able to within the framework of this big machinery of what Star Wars is, still tell a story that might actually affect people and make them feel things, I think was just really cool.

Could you describe how it felt to take on the role of the Joker?

Exciting, intimidating, an honor, and challenging; it’s a role that I didn’t take lightly. I understood what it was, which is that a lot of the people who were seeing me in the role had never heard of me and didn’t know who I was, and it was a way to prove myself and to show off my take of what I could do with this. It was really cool too with that show that we were getting to do something that had never really been done before with the character, which is to show multiple versions and possibilities of what that character could be, and to kind of tip our hat to some of the famous stories that came before, and then kind of give a unique spin and show off some new things with it as well.

Obviously, that show was heightened to a certain degree and kind of existed in this wacky over-the-top violent, but also slightly cartoony universe that was kind of its own little thing. That was really fun to play around with it and to totally get to do something kind of different with that, something that we hadn’t seen before. But I think it was specifically really intimidating because, at that point of casting when I performed the episode in the first season of that show, no one had played the role since Heath Ledger had posthumously won the Oscar for the role. So the only people who had touched it in live-action had been Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger, which are just massive, massive shoes to fill and two people that I deeply admired. Again, it’s just sort of a case of respect and wanting to kind of come in, just do my absolute best with the material, and to try to pay a certain level of honor to the people that came before.

Anything you can tease about what you’re going to do next? Any future projects?

Absolutely. It’s always difficult with this stuff because there’s only so much you can say. I can say that I just shot a film that hasn’t been announced yet, but I was out of town shooting it for a while. It’s the starring role in the film, and that will come out to theaters in the near future. I’m also working on another project over the course of the next year that I will be working on and off for. Again, thanks to the joys of NDAs, I can’t actually say what it is. I have a movie that I will be doing in June and then also I’m starting to move a bit behind the camera as well. So I’m working on producing and starring in a feature in August or September. And I’m writing a couple of projects right now as well. So it’s a loaded year for the next year, but it’s all very exciting that’s happening.

[aibidil]

On female characters being held to a higher standard

I want to discuss something I've seen in fandom that applies much more broadly, and it involves internalized misogyny toward fictional characters.

Fictional characters often do some shitty things. In fandom, we often explore the shitty things they've done in canon or introduce new shitty things! I can't even begin to list the number of shitty things I've read characters do. I'm not saying this is a bad thing. I love moral ambiguity in fiction! I think we humans have lots to learn from thinking about the inherent messiness of life and of relationships.

I write mostly mlm fic. Which means I write mostly male characters and have mostly female readers. (Another whole thing but not focusing on that right now.) And what I've found is this: in fics where I have prominent female characters who are exactly as messy and complicated as the male characters I write, the comments I get are much different. I can think of maybe one or two comments EVER in which I've been criticized for a male character doing something wrong. But Hermione and Ginny? Lots.

I wrote a fic in which Hermione is literally under attack by men's rights activists because she got love potions outlawed. The fic spends a lot of time exploring the complexity of the issue, and in the fic Hermione is challenged by allies with more and less robust challenges and by men's rights activists who are trying to sexually assault her in retaliation. I have received DOZENS of comments (many extremely impassioned) telling me how wrong Hermione is, how can she think outlawing them is the right answer?!, etc.

I wrote a fic in which Harry and Ginny get pregnant almost immediately after the war and Ginny has an abortion without telling Harry. Harry is triggered and gets super upset, etc etc. I recently got two very serious comments telling me that Ginny should've talked to Harry about the abortion, that her behavior wasn't healthy, and that girls shouldn't do that.

I don't care about the comments. But I do feel like we need to have a conversation about this double standard we apparently have wrt fictional characters—because I'm not writing these women any differently than I write men, and the comments are wildly different.

Why are we expecting so much more of female characters? Why are we expecting what amounts to perfection? Do we not see that this contributes to really poor female representation in books and fandom?

Why are we expecting that fanfiction is offering life advice? And if we are expecting that, why are we expecting it more when it's female characters on the page? Fiction isn't life advice, even if sometimes we get amazing life lessons from it.

Both of the fics I mention above are Harry/Draco fics. My most fundamental question, then, is why it's so easy for readers to redeem Draco when they can't do the same for female characters WHO HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING NEARLY AS BAD AS HE HAS?

Draco was a bb nazi. Draco joined a hate group that sought to genocide ppl including Harry's bff and mother and his father was the lead torture. Draco idolized that father's actions until the whole thing got too close and bummed him out.

Listen. I am all for redemption stories. I think Draco is a fantastic character (as should be obvious from my fics). But why is it that we as readers can forgive that type of behavior, but not Hermione having a radical political position on love potions? Why is it that we can handwave bigotry and torture but not a 17yo girl who is traumatized and grieving for getting an abortion without consulting a man?

So first, fictional characters do not always behave in ideal human ways. An author writing that isn't condoning any of the behavior.

Second, if you find yourself outraged by a female character's behavior, maybe take a moment to ask yourself whether your internalized misogyny is showing. Are you excusing much worse behavior in male characters?

[lunaekalenda]

Heyo can I get an Armin x fem reader where he’s currently dating Annie and reader is a new student and Armin and reader start to get to know each other more and start to gain feelings for each other and reader doesn’t know he’s dating Annie and shes on pretty good terms with her since Annie sort of envies her cuz she’s sweet and outgoing, so reader asks him out he says yes and things are great for them until Annie starts to realize Armins been distancing himself from her and hanging out with reader a lot and she confronts him about it and he admits that he just fell out of love and started gaining heavy feelings for reader and they break up even though Annie’s hurt she tries to stay happy and accepts reader and armins new found relationship:3 (can it be a modern AU and can it be in 1st POV from either reader or Armin please and thank you)

hiii!! :D omg yes!! i hope you like it! sorry if i took long to write it :’) and i think it’s a little messed up sorry

i hope it is what you’ve asked for! i didn’t want to make it longer, so this is it!

❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁❁

❁ Private lessons

❁ Armin x female reader

❁ !! : cheating

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"So this is your new classmate, I hope you get along well."

Everybody smiles, specially a blue-eyed girl on the first row. The professor tells me to sit next to her.

"Hi, I'm Historia." She smiles sweetly. I smile back at her. Professor Keith starts his class, and I do my best to follow his explanations.

I used to study in a south zone institute, but my dad was posted north which made me move and switch to this institute. Near to Historia, and looking at her, is a tall girl with brown eyes and a low ponytail. On my other side, there’s a brown-haired boy with freckles, looking nice and smiling. Behind him, a boy with an undercut looks bored. The professor starts talking about history, and Historia passes me a paper.

“I can give you my notes for you to copy” I smile at her and nod. An hour after, the class is finished. 

“Okay, I’ll introduce you to all. This girl here is Ymir.” she points to the tall girl, that is walking towards us. She hugs Historia while talking. 

“I hate history classes, oh, my sweet and beloved Historia, if you...”

“I’ll help you to study this afternoon.” Ymir smiles at her and kisses her cheek in signal of thanks. “Oh, the new one.” I smile at Ymir and she does the same.

Historia points a huge blonde boy, that was sitting behind me. He’s talking with a black-haired tall guy. “Those two are Reiner and Bertholdt. And the blonde girl coming is Annie” A girl with a bun goes to the door, followed by a boy. “And that’s Armin. He’s always with Eren and Eren is always with Mikasa.” They are following Armin. The boy with freckles comes and smiles at me.

“Hi, I’m Marco! I hope we can became friends! He’s Jean, my best friend.” The boy with the undercut waves his hand at me.

“Oh, and the two fighting for cup of ramen are Connie and Sasha. Now, should we eat together?” I nod to Marco and Historia. They pull their tables together and star eating. They tell me how was the first semester and try to know if my institute on the south was giving the same subjects than here, and told me to join their study group. 

“Armin gives us classes. He’s really smart and catches up all the subjects, and he also likes to explain.” They tell me that the next session is going to be tomorrow afternoon on Reiner’s. “We take turns studying at each other's house, so it's not always the same host” Actually that’s a good plan, so I guess someday I’ll have to be a host too. My face darkens as I remember that my house is too small to accommodate more than three people in the same room. Mom and Dad live in a flat that dad's company gave them, but the distance between that apartment and the institute made them decide to rent a one-man flat for me. We keep eating and attending the next classes. 

Faster than I thought, the afternoon of the study group arrived. I took all the books before leaving home, and walked towards the entrance, where Marco, that lives literally next door, was waiting to help me arrive to Reiner’s home. He was dressing casually, not a huge difference between seeing him on the school uniform. 

“Good morning!” Marco says when I left the entrance. I wave my hand at him. “Ready for a studying session?” 

“I think so, but everybody raves about how well Armin explains, so I’m impatient to see it! I think I need a lot of help to pass this course.”

“That’s normal, you arrived in the middle of it! But I’m sure you’ll be okay, your grades on the other institute were pretty high!” Marco, as the class delegate, had to pass my expedient to the new institute, and he looked at my grades to do it. We walk in silence while he explains me some streets or where our classmates lived.

“Reiner’s house is the one furthest from the institute, the rest of us live near it.” 

Once were in Reiner’s house, a lot of classmates were waiting outside. Jean walked towards Marco.

 “I knew you could guide the new girl here without problem!” Jean smiles at me and Historia comes, followed by Ymir.

“Oh, you arrived!” Historia says. Then, Reiner makes us enter his house. We all sit when Armin arrives. He has his blonde hair messy, and his hands are occupied with some papers. 

The studio group is outgoing and nice to me, but when Armin starts to explain history of the north, I’m totally lost. He looks at me with curiosity.

Armin’s eyes were so beautiful, and every time he looks at me my heart flutters. 

“Do you understand it?” I shake my head. The north history is totally new for me, I never studied it. “Don’t worry, are you free tomorrow?” 

“Hm, yes, I am” He smiles before writing something on a paper. “There’s were I live. Come at four and I’ll explain everything to you, with detail.”

He was so sweet I couldn’t say no, so I nod and smile at him. 

Walking back home, Marco explains me where Armin lives.

“Up that street, the last house. He lives in front of Eren and Mikasa.”

Marco invited me to have dinner with him and Jean in a near bar, where, surprisingly, also Connie was having dinner. When I asked him why he was there alone, he told me.

“I took some dinner with me but Sasha ate it, and now I have to have some dinner because I’m about to pass out of hunger.”

“Can we sit here, Conn?” Marco asks and Connie nods. We have dinner between laughs and stories. and everybody leaves once we’re finished.

The next day, I'm in front of Armin's house, waiting for him. He makes me go into his house.

"Sorry if my room is messed up, I just woke up." He says, with his hand on his neck. I laugh.

“Don’t worry. I’m sure your room is more organized than mine.” He lets me pass in front of him to a clear and enormous room. It has a lot of books and a shelf full of seashells. He tells me to take off my jacket and put it on a near chair. We sit on the floor, near to the coffee table he has in the middle of the room. He takes some books with him.

“Okay, so North History.” I nod. He starts to explain me with calm and quiet voice, making sure I understand everything, and looking me in the eyes. 

I can’t concentrate if his ocean eyes are fixed on mine. Once Armin ends explaining me the unit, we agreed in having a little break. He passes me a cup of coffee and a couple cookies. 

“So, do you like the city?” he asks. I nod while swallowing the coffee.

“Yes, it’s pretty cool. In the south we don’t have this big cities like in the north, Is more like a rural place. So at first it was complicated for me to move.” Armin nods, telling me without words that he understands me. 

“Well, I can show you the city. I’m not a talkative person but I know a lot about the history of the place, so I can tell you about some of the famous buildings.”

“That would be amazing...” Thanks to my parents, I was born without the gift of shame. Armin had caught my eye, so why not give it a try? “Something like a date?”

Armin laughs, kinda blushing.

“Yes, something like a date.” he answers.

A couple weeks later, after passing a lot of time with Armin, we decided to go and explore the city. I choose a yellow dress my mum bought me for our date. He was there when I arrived. 

“Hi!” He looks at me when I talk to him. He smiles a bit.

“Hi” answers. We start walking. Where do you want to start?”

“What about the park?” He nods. We walk, and he tells me a lot of curious things about the city. “Did you know this was a prison?” 

The, he invites me, buying me an ice cream. We sit on a cool park, and we eat the ice creams in silence. His phone starts to sound. He looks the name of the person who’s calling, but he puts his phone again on his pocket.

“Sorry, you know how many times a day do telephone companies call.” I nod, totally clueless. He was kinda nervous after that, and it made me think he maybe wasn’t talking with telephone companies.

After the long day out, my feet hurt. Armin laughs and accompanies me home. Once we’re at my door, Armin smiles sweetly. 

“Do you want to enter?” I ask. Armin’s face blushes. “N-No! I wasn’t asking like that?!”

“I know, I know.” he laughs, “Anyway, I should go home. It’s kinda late.” he looks the hour on his phone. I can glimpse a blonde girl on his wallpaper, smiling at the camera.

“Well, thanks for today...” I say, in low voice, He smiles and lends closer to me. His gaze fixed on my mouth.

“See you tomorrow?” I ask. He hums before leaning even closer and he kisses me.

I kiss him back. I was literally hoping for this to happen. His arms are around my waist. When we part, I’m kinda dizzy. He’s an awesome kisser, not gonna lie. 

“Bye, then.”

He’s about to leave, but what kind of boy leaves a girl right after kissing her? I took his hand.

“Does this mean that now we are dating?” I ask. He smiles wide.

“Probably. I’ll wait for you tomorrow.” He kisses me again, lightly, and then he leaves. 

Our relationship grew really fast, but he didn’t want to look that closer at school.

“You know, professors might think we’re not fixed on our studies.”

And he also was really close to Annie. I wasn’t jealous, he spends a lot of time at my house, my mum loves him and we are so in love...

Annie looks at me with anger while we’re in music class. She’s fixed on me. When she comes to talk with me, Armin intercepts her.

“Annie! can we talk outside a bit?” He says. She looks at me, but then nods. I stand up and follow them. They’re talking in the corridor. I tell myself to sit and mind my own business, but her tone makes me stay there, listening,

“You’re really close to her now.” she says. Armin asks her to be quiet.

“Annie, I only love you...”

“You’ve been lying for a fucking month. Stop it already, Armin. Tell me the truth, or I’ll ask her.”

“I...” I can hear Annie’s steps, but it’s late to go back to my seat. Fortunately, Armin calls her. “Wait, Annie! See... I... I don’t love you. It was fast, but I fell in love with her. She’s really sweet and I couldn’t handle it. She studied so close to me... Her lips so close... And admit it, our relationship was about to die.” He says. Annie doesn’t make a sound. 

Were Annie and Armin dating?

Did I break a couple?

Oh, no.

“Well, we...”

“We were sinking, And because of you.” he says. “You wasted a lot of time with Reiner and Bert. You were the one always occupied to see me. The one that never came to our dates. I need someone to be with, Annie, and you weren’t filling that desire, so I started to feel less and less for you. And she loves me. She always asks me to do something with her, either watch a movie or just lay down together. She counts me on her plans. I deserve something like what I give. So, I hope you can be happy with another one.”

“But why you waited so long to break up with me?”

“I thought you knew I was cheating on you. I was kinda obvious.”

Annie keeps being quiet.

“Hope you two be happy then.” she says, before walking to the opposite direction. 

Maybe their relationship was made to sink. Armin enters again, and I look interested to the books on the shelf.

“You’re so cute...” he says. I smile a bit.

The doubt about asking him or not about what just happened dissapears when I feel his lips on mine.

“We don’t have to hide now?” I ask. He shakes his head.

“No more.”

[peachypunk22]

Harringrove Feedback Fest

not me participating in something when I haven’t been active in months 😅 

fic recs from AO3 authors that inspire me! these fics are all incredible and i’ve re-read each one listed multiple times!! 

@gothyringwald thank you for putting this together! its such a cute idea!

knit more tightly together by lymrics (E) @lymricks

part one of the blues in chicago series. i think one of the first harringrove fics I read. love the steve/billy dynamic and so emotional and high tension that im pretty sure it made me cry at some point? even though it’s not a sad fic! idk it just really pulled some emotion up. literally the fic that got me into the fandom and wanting to write for it! the whole series is amazing!

Steve takes a second to feel relieved it's not Dustin getting all sorts of arrested in places he shouldn’t be, then he goes back to staring.

It's Billy, who looks as good now as he did the last time Steve saw him: three years ago. He looks just as complicated, too. He’s got bruises on his face, a split lip.

star-crossed bullshit (black holes feast) by ?? (E)

this work got orphaned, but i’m so glad the author didn’t delete because it’s one of my all time faves! strong dom/sub undertones and messy relationship with an incredible use of the unreliable narrator! plus it has mechanic!billy 

Billy makes a mixtape for when he fucks boys, except it’s on Spotify, and he’s only fucking Steve, and all the songs are oddly, and suspiciously, romantic.

liquor (on your lips, makes you dangerous) by eternalgoldfish (E) @eternalgoldfish

i love a college!au with some gross hot Billy and this one is so good. equal parts cute, funny, and sweet with a side of kinky that I hadn’t read before

“Careful, sweetie, don’t break a nail,” Billy said, leaning over Steve’s shoulder, lazy cat’s-grin gleaming up to his eyes.

“I’m not going to break a fucking nail.” Steve hissed and elbowed him, like he hadn’t been thinking the same thing as he struggled to wedge one of his shiny red nails into his wallet’s tight leather pockets.

Or, Steve makes a bet he can't win and Billy doesn't realize his mistake.

i’m saucing on you by Boardingschooled (E)

speaking of college!au’s this one has fratboy!Billy being gross hot in all the best ways. also sweaty concert grinding, boys being absolutley smitten, and waffle house breakfast dates? it’s like college slaps you in the face and makes you listen to AMINE and it’s great

Steve wants a ticket to the biggest party on campus; Billy's got one with Steve's name on it.

Tale as Old as Time by hoppnhorn (M) @hoppnhorn

i’m an absolute sucker for beauty and the beast au’s and hoppnhorn is such a fantastic writer that i had to include this one

Prince William, imprisoned in the form of a beast, can be freed only by true love. What may be his only opportunity arrives when he meets Steven, a man who bewitches him from the very moment he steps foot in his enchanted castle.

Honeyed Wine by Antarc (T) @rascheln

am i biased because this fic has literally all of the thing i like because it was written for me? perhaps. but for real, this fic is SO sweet and well-written! it has baker!billy and a twist at the end that i did not see coming at all. every time i read it i just have a huge smile on my face

While he recovers from an injury at Robin's farm and helps run her market stall, Steve unexpectedly reunites with his old high school rival. Billy, once a tough asshole who got into weekly fights, is now a proud owner of the best bakery in town and mans the stall right next to Steve's- with the best croissants Steve has ever eaten.

samarra by gothyringwald (T) @gothyringwald

i think this was the first fic in a long time that i’ve read that took a more gen/mystery/sci-fi approach, with the romance taking a backseat for most of it, and honestly this fic made me remember how much i like reading. the story and universe building is excellent. very trippy and gives off a lot of twin peaks dream walking surrealist vibes.

When the kids bring Billy back from the dead, it doesn’t go quite as expected: he’s alive but his soul has been left behind. And Steve is the only person who can bring it back.

Salt in the Wound by SheWritesDirty (E) @shewritesdirty

if ‘fuck your enemies’ was a genre, this would be THE fic. rough, gritty, and violent. I could wax poetic about how much I love the writing style and imagery and how different it feels in comparison to other fic. steve and billy are toxic and messy and so bad that its good

The way he ate slow, like his jaw hurt. Like it was tender, like whatever had put that bruise on his face had left more of an impact than just… flesh and bone. And now that he was seeing it... Steve knew that he hadn’t done that to Billy.

That someone else had, after that night and over the weekend... someone else had gotten their hands on Billy and put karma into his skin.

And he still hadn’t looked at Steve.

Here I Go Again by HeckinaHandbasket (E) (WIP) @heck-in-a-handbasket

oh god oblivious!Steve is top tier in this A/B/O fic. combine with a lifeguard!billy that’s trying (and failing) in his rough, fumbling way to make it obvious that he’s courting him and you get this adorable mess. it’s so sweet and funny and the rest of the gang are actual little kids that run around and create havoc. i’m always excited when it updates!

Not just a new lifeguard, either. No, Billy was the lifeguard supervisor.

Because of course he was, the prick.

Swing Away by lemonlovely (E)

sports!au sports!au sports!au - specifically a baseball!au that actually serves as a really cool character exploration of billy and his dad and sports. this one is so bittersweet and i love the dynamic between steve and billy as they figure out a rocky start to a friendship and romance

Steve and Billy go to the same Hawkins Baseball Camp that Steve's been going to since he was a kid, and Billy is not particularly thrilled to be there - he fucking hates baseball, alright? And he tells Steve as much.

lamp-bright rind by nagdabbit (G) 

chef!Billy teaching his neighbor Steve how to cook au. unbelievably sweet and a writing style that is unique, expressive, and comedic. you really fall in love with the characters, as flawed as they may be, and the descriptions of food. did i mention its an almost 100k slow-burn? 

Billy spies on his cute neighbor, his cute neighbor doesn't know how to cook. Luckily, Billy can do something about that.