#as I wallow in feelings
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The Depression is hitting me like a brick today, lads.
I miss Dabi.
#arvandus rambles#playing my dabi playlist#as I wallow in feelings#I miss him sooo much#sometimes I really do just want to burn it all to the ground.
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anyways, suguru has the sluttiest waist
#— yap central#back to regularly scheduled programming#I’m feeling okay so not gonna wallow in the sadness if i am able to avoid it#so just gonna thirst over suguru a little
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one of my favourite things about season 2 is 'you wear fine things well' 2.0. like that phrase means so much to us, the super sexy audience, so knowing that it means a lot to Ed AND Stede as well?? oh my god. it means enough to the both of them that when Ed says it, Stede immediately knows what he's getting at. like sure he's saying 'you wear fine things well' with his big baby cow eyes and his little kitty cat collar but what he means is, 'this was the moment i fell in love with you. and now i'm saying it back.' and they put that in the tv show that we, the super sexy audience, watched. fucking cinema.
#does this post make sense#sorry it's nine pm and i've just finished a coffee and im listening to fiona apple so you can imagine the high that i am riding#i also just finished writing the tolling bells so i'm an emotional wreck#i'm wallowing in my feelings this evening like a pig in mud#ouuuughghggh ofmd save me. save me ofmd.#ofmd#oh we thinkin?
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little wip
#tim drake#my art#fanart#red robin#batfam#there’s something about the connection between Tim’s hypercompetence vs. his desire for affection that rly just Gets Me#like the cognitive dissonance between the desire to be independent & the desire to be cared about??#wanting respect but also love & to be trusted but not forgotten??#idk i have lots of feelings this time of year (and more time for comics than usual lol)#what i'm saying is that tim has definitely wallowed in his fair share of yearning#more to come later or maybe not#tim drake fanart#batfam fanart#dc fanart
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what would have happened if harry took draco with him when fighting for their wands and fleeing malfoy manor.. what if draco just grabbed harry and didnt let go and left too
#drarry#draco malfoy#harry potter#draco x harry#there are so many thoughts im having im feeling overwhelmed#im also feeling such an indescribable and overwhelming sadness this is the only thing keeping me afloat i feel#so im just here wallowing in what ifs and couldve beens and redemption arcs
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all good?
if ur referring to the art block/being frustrated w my art donot worry its natural to happen 🫡 doing studies made me feel much better and so did talkng to my friends
#trust this happens like once a month or so it was just BAD the other day#growing up in the hater era means every so oftwn i look at my work as if i were someone who despised me#like 'how does the hypothetical person dedicated to hating me see my art' and it makes me feel like my art is so pointless and meaningless#because i draw a lot of what i draw for fun!!! if someone were trying to justify its 'right' to exist theres very little that Does#beyond just. i love to make art. it makes me happy. i like to share it becayse it makes other people happy#but when i start feeling that way instwad of wallowing i just drill sgt my self and learn something new#because i cant feel useless if im growing#i can feel BAD but usually learning stuff and doing things that are deliberately hard for me makes me feel better
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everyday i learn more about joplin, everyday i wish they just cancelled veilguard or took longer to make the joplin project they envisioned.
i think i'm just gonna put all the blame on anthem atp.
[article link]
if they were in such a rush to make me5, why didn't they just go ahead with that project and then make da4 after--if the funds allowed for it?! i bought the artbook and that literally just made me go down a spiral.
like... this hurts me so much man.
[link to video where comment is from]
#dragon age should have been bioware's magnum opus#their chance to redeem themselves and end a series RIGHT after mass effect#but noooo#now i have to deal with a subpar narrative sequel to one of the best pieces of media i've ever loved#feels like i'm living through the whedon-verse again and how joss ultimately hurt his popular characters as if out of spite for fandom#dragon age#veilguard critical#joplin#dav spoilers#solas#dragon age the veilguard#da:tv#emotional investment is getting cumbersome guys#like i have very few nuggets of love left to give to things#everything is getting cancelled#complexity is one in a million in publishing#original stories and comics and games literally have fight tooth and nail to be appreciated#grassroots isn't a sustainable form of development anymore#actors not already linked to hollywood rarely get their big break#i keep sighing and no god can hear me!#corypheus was right about the throne of the gods being empty#i'm wallowing and drinking red wine rn.
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Solution 9
<previous - next>
#Final Fantasy XIV#FFXIV#X'vahl Tia#Erenville#WoL x Erenville#wolship#Erenvahl#Again there's a lot going on here that's being left unsaid#Cahciua now knows there's something deeper between them and she's needling her son for more information.#Erenville is upset with her and wants her to not try to derail his legitimate concerns#X'vahl is not privy to the details of Erenville and Cahciua's relationship so he's just kind of lost#when Erenville sidesteps telling Cahciua about them#(also he's low-key concerned that he upset Erenville after he was questioning him about her)#Bless Lamaty'i tho who sees X'vahl's in his feelings#and she's not going to let him wallow in it.#I was debating doing this one since it's another word-for-word rehash of MSQ#but I thought there's enough happening just under the surface#that's kind of important to everything else#that I still wanted to include it.
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I’d like to take some time to give some love to other polyamorous people in the agere community.
Shout out to polyamorous littles; those with multiple caregivers they’re in romantic relationships with in big space, those with multiple QPP’s, those with relationships with their regressor siblings.
Shout out to polyamorous caregivers; those with multiple regressors, or other caregivers, or QPP’s in their life.
We have a lot of love to give and I’m so proud of you for making it to today to continue giving it. 💕
#mama falin speaks#agere#agere blog#sfw age regression#sfw interaction only#polyamory#polyamory positivity#agere positivity#I’ve been having a hard time with this specific issue lately. so I wanted to spread some love#instead of wallowing in my self-hatred and the hatred of others#I’m not feeling very well so apologies if I’m not as talkative today babies.
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How cruel it is, To have so much love. And no one To give it to.
#writerscreed#original poem#poem#spilled ink#dark academia#poetry#my poetry#original poetry#poets on tumblr#writers and poets#my poem#writerscommunity#love poem#love notes to no one#love#just a silly little scribble#because i am feeling the big sad rn#and i would like to be productive and write instead of wallowing in sadness + insomnia in bed#also hilarious evolution here#my gp called me to tell me i'm showing signs of anxiety + depression#so i have to go in for a chat with the mental health specialist#my mum is acting very concerned lol - and whilst ik it's coming from a good place#i wish she'd stop#there's too much that i've hidden from her for various reasons#and i will not be getting into it ever - i have no resentment#if i could go back i would do it all the same#however i am considering being completely honest with the mental health person#i've never told anyone the full extent of everything and i'd like to...
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listen...... If you want to stop feeling sad, sometimes that means you need to stop listening to that sad music that you told yourself was "validating my emotions" and "self-reflecting" and "helping me process things". Nothing's being processed, my girl, you're just sticking more unnecessary detergent in the emotional laundry machine and watching the soapy water spin.
#i stop listening to taylor's sad songs and various and sundry other depressing things (which were an excuse to wallow) and feel BETTER#about life and myself? shocked pikachu face
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oh Red Son no-
#i like to headcanon that for years after dbk’s imprisonment#red son didn’t do anything but work on his engineering skills#or just wallowed within his home#pif didnt give a rats butt about what he was doing because she was already miserable dealing with other people#so red son didnt go out much to socialise or learn from the world#meaning there was a lot of things he didnt know about life and himself until after his father was freed#red son has never had any experiece with having feelings#romantic or platonic or anything. he only recognises familial love thats pretty much it#not because he doesnt feel them (duh) but because hes had no one to feel that way about#so becoming friends with goldendragon was pretty hard for him. but he still pulled through#but recognising his feelings for mk being more than that? that was the hardest yet (for everybody)#of course mei figured it out first. and eventually mk did too. but even red son had no clue until they both had to intervene#so red son realising he is no longer as straight as he once thought because of mk is a very real possibility LMAO#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk fanart#mk lmk#lmk qi xiaotian#qi xiaotian#lmk red son#lmk spicynoodles#spicynoodleshipping#monkie kid spicynoodles
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I want to take you to a future,
Where there's no suffering
#kamen rider kuuga#godai yusuke#art#my post#spent the first half of my day kind of wallowing and feeling bad and then it was just like i gotta do something man#so i painted this just freely no refs no expectation just feel good healing godai it was nice#imbuing myself with positivity
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Stray Warehouse 13 thoughts since I am procrastinating writing my B&W gift exchange fic:
I just love that I can cry over Myka & Pete's relationship and call them soulmates without having to constantly clarify that I don't mean in a romantic way. Everyone already knows I mean it in a platonic way. No one online ships them together. This is a safe space, free from heteronormativity 💕
When I say that Myka is Artie's favorite child, I'm not trying to claim that he loves any of the others less. I am merely saying Myka read the entire manual, cover to cover, the second she got it and that makes Artie want to cry with happiness. No one's done that in decades (since he started at the warehouse). It raises his hopes that Myka might break his own personal record for longest lived warehouse agent. :')
#Guess who just rewatched The New Guy?#And then two seconds of writing later promptly had to watch a S2 finale fanvid to confirm Myka's hairstyle? 😂#So yeah I have ~feelings~ over Myka & Pete and Myka & Artie right now#on top of the ever-present Bering and Wells feelings :P#Which SIDEBAR I'd just like to point out that feelings don't get in my way when I'm writing Lucifer fic#I can crank those suckers out no problem#WH13 fic on the other hand? NOPE! Suddenly I'm wallowing in feels instead of writing 😬 Whoops!#(And that's a big whoops because I am only 1500 words into this way-too-long introspection piece with less than a week left until it's due)#(Am I scared?)#(YES! 😬😬😬 THANK YOU FOR ASKING)#(BUT I *WILL* GET THIS DONE ON TIME I STG!!!)
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Going Through It when you're older and wiser is a strange thing. Like, you're gonna be okay. You've got the tools and the resilience and you'll be fine. But it still sucks like hell, and there are no detours around grief. Seems unfair.
#personal#I used to relish in wallowing on my youth#now I'd really rather not feel all this#it's so inconvenient#but it's unavoidable#in*#okay to reblog
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Me: This fic needs plot.
My brain: Okay, I understand. The fic needs more wallowing.
Me: No. We need to cut back on the wallowing to get to the plot so this doesn't like three more weeks to write.
My brain. Got it, got it. The fic needs Wilson to have free time so he just walks around and contemplates. Nice long chunk of Wilson's depression and trauma.
Me: No. Not at all. It needs less time reflecting on the past.
My brain: Understood. I have the solution. The fic needs...flashbacks.
Me: Okay fuck it. Fine.
#house md#hatecrimes md#fanfiction#fanfic writing#james wilson#seriously how am I not at the SII part yet#SII is always a tool to START the real plot#After her there must be relationship problems and therapy and even more important angst wallowing and then the climax and resolution#And yet. The fic is already over 5000 words#I not only missed my self-imposed deadline I'm going to miss it by a lot#But I am working on it every day so eventually you can expect a shiny new Research fic casting light in Wilson's trauma#The premise is “what if Wilson's 'eating neediness' and compulsive Fix It attempts are an ingrained habit imposed on him from a young age”#Because just because House says Wilson loves it doesn't mean he actually does#He and House are actually really bad at analyzing each other#I don't think Wilson is so attached to House because he needs to care for House (House doesn't even let him care for him that often)#I think it's kind of the opposite. House lets Wilson shrug off his need to be a caring angel and let out his inner bastard#The attachment is based on NOT fixing House or being expected to make him all better#The attachment is Wilson feeling safe enough to act on the impulse to saw House's cane in half without hating himself or being punished#Like they can fight and be juvenile and insult each other and then still love each other#Neither will leave the other upon figuring out who the other Really Is TM
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