#art thou ailing?

[wholemantou]

君有疾否 Jun You Ji Fou Audio Drama S2 Insert Song: 《没错》 'Indeed' - Lyrics (English Translation)

English translation of 《没错》 'Indeed', the insert song from the second season of the Jun You Ji Fou (君有疾否) / Art Thou Ailing?audio drama on Miss Evan, based on the novel of the same name by Ru Si Wo Wen.

Chinese/Pinyin/English lyrics + audio link (free to listen) available under the cut!

Image credits to the original artist for the Jun You Ji Fou audio drama (S2) on Miss Evan.

The original song can be listened to publicly for free at its source at Miss Evan (click the hyperlink or the video above). Original Chinese lyrics by 易者连消醉清酒 (composition by @白蔓_ and arrangement by @水墨流苏R), English lyrics translation by @wholemantou.

Full copyright attributions can be found in the above link. Translation notes are found after the lyrics. Indeed (没错 Méi Cuò) Performed by Chen Zhang Taikang and Ma Zhengyang (originally sung by 亡海Aries)

♫ [陈张太康 (苏世誉)]: [Chen Zhang Taikang (as Su Shiyu)]: 没错，席卷过荒野的不止是呜咽的风还有你眼中比满城飞灯更浓烈的火这缕，秋风行了方便趁着 漫天晚霞落 窥见你眼底，燃不尽的热 Indeed, it isn’t just the whimpering wind that's engulfing the wilderness, But also the fire in your eyes, more intense than the lanterns throughout the city skies. When it's time for this wisp of wind in autumn to go, We'll readily ride on the evening’s undying afterglow. I take a glance into your eyes; in them, an inextinguishable heat burns on.

可眼中 何曾映出我 爱是迂回曲折、是无弦之歌 是死在痛欲中享乐 But since when have I ever been reflected in these eyes? Love is an endless cycle of suffering; a song strummed without a string; It is death while taking pleasure in the pains of desire.

(chorus)

是唇齿难舍， 我何来有错？ 满座宾客见证这离合 情本吝啬，是你好心施舍 Not bearing to part, like a pair of lips and teeth, Could I be said to have sinned, then? The guests in the room have witnessed both our separation and our reunion. Love has never been easy to part with, but you were so kind as to give it all away. 是耳畔余热， 我何来有错？ 枕边人却不是知我者 可那又、那又如何 The residual heat lingers on my ears. Could I be said to have sinned, then? The companion beside my pillow is not companion to my thoughts. But so what, then—so what? ♫ [马正阳 (楚明允)]: [Ma Zhengyang (as Chu Mingyun)]: 没错，我想我哪幸有这般璀璨绚烂色 只因你满腔热忱喜欢才觉得我鲜活 没错，其实我只是那血色 风干沥尽了 千山万色里，最旧的那抹 Indeed, I hadn’t believed that I could have the honour of such a brilliant, vivid scene. It had only been thanks to your passionate fancy that I’d ever felt able to thrive. Indeed, I am merely the colour of blood dried up from the wind. The oldest smear across multitudes of mountainous sceneries. [1] 你本也 不必有承诺 爱是惊心动魄、是求之不得 是死在痛欲中享乐 In the first place, you’ve never needed to make any promises. Love is a fire that shocks the heart and shakes the soul; a wish deemed unattainable; It is death while taking pleasure in the pains of desire.

(chorus) 是唇齿难舍， 我何来有错？ 满座宾客见证这离合 情本吝啬，是你好心施舍

Not bearing to part, like a pair of lips and teeth, Could I be said to have sinned, then? The guests in the room have witnessed both our separation and our reunion. Love has never been easy to part with, but you were so kind as to give it all away.

靠爱你过活， 我十恶不赦 天下人人尽知我疯魔 可那又、那又如何 To live is to love you; In doing so, I commit the Ten Abominations [2] The whole world knows that I’ve gone insane in my infatuations. But so what, then—so what?

(chorus, duet):

是爱欲纠葛， 我何来有错？ 只这一吻月光都失落 我低声问，动情在哪一刻

I entangle myself (with you) in desire and love [3] Could I be said to have sinned, then? A single kiss was enough to summon the cascading moonlight. [4] I softly ask myself—at which moment had I fallen (for you)?

我从来没错， 又十恶不赦 天下人人尽知我执着 可那又、那又如何 I have never sinned, Yet I’ve committed the Ten Abominations. The whole world knows that I’ve become fully obsessed. But so what, then—so what? -----------------♫♫------------------- Translation notes: [1] “The oldest smear across multitudes of mountainous sceneries”: possible reference to the JJWXC summary – 你眸中有山川河流，胜过我行经路过的一切不朽。“There are mountains and rivers in your eyes, and they trump all the evergreen existences that have passed me by.” As this line seems to be in Su Shiyu’s perspective (based on a few lines in a few chapters, e.g., chapter 55), it makes sense that Chu Mingyun is the one saying that he’s “the oldest smear across (i.e., of) mountain sceneries” in this line.

[2] Ten Abominations (十惡): traditional Chinese law dictates 10 offences to be most abominable and uncivilised—rebellion, sedition, treason, parricide, depravity, great irreverence (disrespect for the royal family), being unfilial, family discord (harming one’s family), petty treason, and incest.

[3] Entanglement is a likely motif in the novel. E.g., Chapter 55, Chu Mingyun to Su Shiyu: "我要和你纠缠一辈子" ("I want to entangle/entwine myself with you forever").

[4] “A single kiss is enough to summon the cascading moonlight”: Probably a reference to the pavilion scene of Chapter 42.

[web-novel-polls]

Have You Read This Web Novel?

If you’re in the process of reading this web novel, please choose whichever option best fits your situation. You do not have to be completely finished with it to answer “yes.”

If you’ve never heard of it, please read the description below the cut!

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Novel Updates:

"Shiyu, my heart is true for you.” These were the blatant words of passion that emerged from the Imperial Marshal‘s own lips. Yet, Chu Mingyun could not help the urge to pinch his own arm from within his sleeve. Su Shiyu’s gentle smile deepened suddenly in that instant. The Imperial Censor then narrowed his eyes all of a sudden, before a few gentle words escaped his lips. “Are you sick?” “Indeed I am, with lovesickness.” Chu Mingyun did not waver as he said this, and neither did his words, which he delivered without a moment’s hesitation. “Now, if you will excuse me,” Su Shiyu nodded politely before turning around to make his leave. — Thus began the story of two people: a person who only pretended to be a cut-sleeve (T/N: literary/euphemistic term meaning ‘homosexual’) at first, but really ended up becoming one, and the person who didn’t want to get involved with said cut-sleeve, yet became a cut-sleeve even earlier than him. This is a tale where sycophancy meets loyalty. Whenever two parties with clashing ideals cross paths, they tend to misuse each other. You have been warned—when the goal is no longer to kill ruthlessly, the goal then becomes to love deeply. Is the gentleman sick? Alas, there is no antidote for lovesickness. There are mountains and rivers in your eyes, and the very sight of them trumps all the evergreen existences that have passed me by. — In short: The top-ranking military official pretends to fall in love with the top-ranking civil official, his rival of all time. Shenanigans ensue, but so does love. Main CP – Evil, scheming gong (Chu Mingyun) x Gentle, scheming shou (Su Shiyu) – HE. Enemies to lovers. 1v1. Side CP 1 – Expressionlessly passionate Shadow Guard (Qin Zhao) x Cute and air-headed medical physician (Du Yue) Side CP 2 – Emperor (Li Yanzhen) x Brazen Jianghu Girl (Lu Qing)

Carrd:

Length: 89 chapters + 2 extras

Year: 2017

Genre: Drama, Historical, Romance, Shounen-ai

Content Warnings: Death, murders, drugs, suicide, past trauma, poisoning, needles, blood, violence, torture, imprisonment, drug abuse, self harm, executions: decapitation, pills, fire, dismemberment, war, landslide, rain of arrows

[phntxm]

} (newby) demon muzan, soft muzan?, arranged marriage, fiancée! reader, fem! reader, mention of bl00d, reader's face got cut

let's pretend that blo0d transfusion exists in haien period a/n; usually, I stick to writing headcanons and avoid posting scenarios because I worry it might not be good enough. however, I've chosen to take a chance this time so if there are any mistakes, please bear with me y-y wc : 1.2k

you never imagined that one day you would willingly sacrifice yourself to aid your sick fiancé, who barely acknowledged you

he was unkind. neither of you had agreed to this arranged marriage; it was solely the decision of his family, the Ubuyashiki clan, who couldn't bear the thought of their ailing son dying alone

at first, the situation was difficult, Muzan be believed having a wife wouldn't extend his life or be of any use. you tried your best, simply aiming to fulfill the marriage contract, we don't have to be in love

the arrangement benefited both clans. the Ubuyashiki clan could lessen their appearance of pity by providing a wife for their son, while your family could regain their lost wealth and noble status during their down in luck

and at the turning point, when he was injured and lost a lot amount of blood. neither his family nor yours offered to help him, they were afraid to give blood to someone like him. they're just hired a cheap doctor to care for him, you were the only one willing to give him your blood without hesitation

after that, he was more open to you

until the day the doctor's medicine was effective

but without knowing it, you were only happy for your fiancé to become healthy like normal people. you heard a nonsensical rumor about a demon attacking people at night, it must be a bear or wild animals..

" I am greatly rejoiced for thee, that thy health hath now become better " you said it as you started to sit beside him on the warmed tatami mat, gazing out at the garden beyond

" the physic hath wrought an unexpected efficacy upon me " he nodded in agreement, raising his arm and gently squeezing it to show the increased muscle and strength he now possessed

" I heard he was a thrifty physician, deemed unfit, yet he proved skilled to mend thee, I do delight exceedingly " as you mentioned this, making Muzan to reconsider his first encounter with the doctor. he couldn't believe he would successfully be healed, as the doctor was merely a cheap physician hired by his clan

" in speaking thereof, thou dost prove thyself useful to me " he turned his face towards you and smiled gently, a smile that could barely be called a smile

" I do greatly admire thy bravery " he said, his smile filled with pride and happiness, yet tinged with a sadistic undertone that sent shivers down your spine

his words left you stunned; you never expected a compliment from someone like him " my pleasure " you said as you bowed to him, It really makes you feel happy, yet it seems like god isn't kind to either of you

" yet unfortunately, I hope that one day thou and I may stroll together, now it is unwise to go abroad by night " you express how shameful it was for the chance of having a normal life with him to be interrupted by some kind of creature " folk do speak of a demon, that doth hunt people by night " you know he doesn't believe in anything silly like this, so the reaction he gave you afterward was not surprising

" demon.. tis the name by which they are called? " he chuckles softly, of course he would do that, you think, he's the man who- " art thou fearful of demons" his question caught you off guard. he doesn't mean it, does he?

sometimes he asks you strange questions, given that he has spent his entire life trapped in his own house. questions about the outside world grab his attention the most, so you didn't mind it, but that doesn't mean he would believe in such a fairy tale like this. you remain silent, not because you're trying to avoid his question, but as his voice shifts, growing more serious " in the night doth stalk a creature, feeding on flesh of men.. art thou afraid? " he looks at you, and you sense he already has an answer in mind. if you answer wrongly, you fear something bad might happen

" I do not believe in demons, tis but a wild beast " you answered while trying to hide the fear you felt, his question has indeed made the atmosphere awkward, you think

Muzan tilts his head slightly " is it so? what if... what if I be that demon? wouldst thou be afraid? " he seems to enjoy seeing you like that

" what do you mean? "

" thou hast heard my words. wouldst thou abandon me if I were that demon? even there is no chance of fleeing from me "

what on earth is he talking about? " I... " your words evoke a sense of fear and confusion, as he reaches his hand to gently touch your cheeks, his actions were so contrasting to what you felt; he touched you as if it were something fragile, yet not with the intention to protect, but to possess it, to do whatever he pleased with it

" what a pity. I do hold thee dear, and thou wilt surely prove useful unto me " you startled slightly; his hand felt so cold, almost as if he weren't human

" hast thou any final words? " you trembled, hearts beating fast, unsure if it was pure fear or excitement. you didn't feel the urge to run away; it was the same mix of emotions you felt when you first volunteered to give him your blood, the joy of helping someone you love, intertwined with the fear that death might be near, and you might not make it out alive " thou didst inquire if I fear demons? do I dread death? I would say, tis not that I lack fear, but the very thought of aiding thee doth making me to endure it " you're contemplating your feelings, realizing there's no right answer for him. in that moment, you didn't strategize on how to answer so he would spare your life, instead, you acted on what your heart felt, just being honest, something you wouldn't regret later— though there might be no 'later,' because you're going to die right here at his hands " I once gave thee my blood, I do not fear to give thee my blood again, it gladdens my heart that I may lend thee aid once more " you close your eyes, gently touching his hand on your cheek, cherishing this fleeting moment of happiness for the last time " take it all as thou dost desire " you said, as you turned to place a soft kiss on his palm, that even if he's not used to or doesn't like being touched, what's the worst that could happen? he's gonna kill me? then- well..

Muzan paused, stunned by your response. then, a sadistic smile slowly spread across his face once more, his eyes gleaming with a disturbing intensity. as he began to grow out his sharp, menacing nails, pressed them firmly against your cheek, and sliced your cheeks until they were red and bleeding " it would be discourteous of me to not return what I have received, I shall give thee my blood also " it was a gift from the demon king, leaving you unsure whether it should be seen as a blessing or a curse. nevertheless, if this is what god desires, then so be it

[notnun]

Jun You Ji Fou (君有疾否) | Ru Si Wo Wen (如似我闻)

A.K.A. Art Thou Ailing?

Links: Novelupdates | half-eaten mantou (Chrysanthemum Garden) Edit: Mantou let me know that they plan to take down their translation once the official English translation releases, so look for the novels to buy if the translation is unavailable! But also give their tl a try while it's there~

Tags: Historical, Action, Adventure, Comedy, Drama, Romance, Yaoi

Chapters: 92

Read on: 03/23/2025 to 03/26/2025

This novel captivated me for the entire length!! Mantou did such a good job translating this and you can feel their care in every decision made while translating. I very much enjoyed this novel, and its one I will definitely come back to read again.

Upon realization that he knew practically nothing about his political opponent, the Imperial Censor Su Shiyu, after an incident, the Imperial Marshal Chu Mingyun quickly brainstormed ways to gain information without suspicion. Investigating Su Shiyu without alarming those he shouldn't normally wouldn't be easy- but he had a plan. All he needed was for Su Shiyu to listen to him.

Imperial Marshal Chu thus sets his plan into motion and declares his undying love to the Imperial Censor Su in the palace after work, within earshot of other officials.

Su Shiyu: .... Are you ill?

Chu Mingyun: Yes, with lovesickness.

They can't trust each other, but can't help but fall in love with the other. Their trajectories and stances are complete opposite and from the start they're doomed to a bitter ending.

Su Shiyu is the minister who is always gentle, always smiles, and does not hesitate to enact the law-even on his own relatives. He projects the image of being heartless- but who can truly have a heart of stone? He cannot waver because he already has in the past, and that cost him dearly. I loved the push and pull between them... The heartbreak Su Shiyu feels every time he struggles with his ideals versus his growing love for Chu Mingyun, and deciding to lock all his feelings and reactions deep in his heart where no one will see. I love him.

Chu Mingyun is ruthless, overbearing, but charming. He has been gathering military power for years, slowly building up his men's loyalty to him- not the Emperor. He sees that the current Emperor will only lead the country to ruin, and is reaching forward to rectify it.

He is the one who started pursuing Su Shiyu first intending to make it easier for him to gather information on him, but fell even harder for him completely unaware. His bursts of dependency coupled with his threats to completely monopolize Su Shiyu after both had already fallen hopelessly in love with each other.. Su Shiyu allowing it while also unable to reciprocate.... Whew. It was almost agonizing seeing the two of them tear at each other in subtle and overt ways as the plot came to a head....

And I swear almost every character introduced after the first arc or so felt doomed. In a good way! It didn't feel like the author was introducing characters to kill them off- each person was deliberate and had their own interconnections with the main protagonists... Which made it hard to see some of them get swept up in the plot and killed. I really like how the author slowly reveals the real mastermind- the readers get to be as similarly frustrated as Su Shiyu and Chu Mingyan while they investigate and connect the dots left by the evidence behind. And there was a good balance between the politics, the war, and the feelings and tension between our two ministers 🥺

In short, I've gained a new novel I love, two characters I adore and 100% teared up at the end of the novel with the historical account of the dynasty. I will definitely read the author's other works! Mantou is working on a second of their novels and I definitely will await the completed notification in the CG discord 👀

How was the translation? Excellent. Half-eaten mantou is an excellent translator, clarifying the many poems included in the text and pointing out when they had to translate things more liberally. I really appreciate the transparency and love Mantou has put into completing it. There were very few typos and missed words in the text. The inclusion of official art of a few of the scenes in the novel were also great 🥺

Would I recommend this novel? Yes! Its not as dense as some historical novels and like I said has a good balance of everything.

Would I reread this novel? Absoluuutely. 100%

Trigger warnings: Suicide, Poison, Sexual harassment*, Using "retarded" in the medical diagnosis sense, Gore, Child abandonment, Domestic Violence (mention), Torture, Drugs (Aphrodisiac), Child death

*Done with a purpose, disguised as him taking advantage of Su Shiyu. Past the first pat-down Su Shiyu acquiesces to Chu Mingyun's actions and its not unconsensual. Su Shiyu would simply Not Let Him if he didn't want to be there.

Thank you for reading my review, once again no readmore this time !! 💜💜💜

[orthodoxadventure]

I don't usually do this sort of thing but its sort of an All-Hands-On-Deck situation. Please pray for the mother of my friend, She was diagnosed with cancer some time ago, but it has since spread to her brain.

Of course I will pray, may God bless her and provide her with healing and comfort. And may God also bless and comfort those family members, friends, and all those that know her who are also in pain and anxiety because of her suffering.

Under the Readmore, I have attached some prayers for those with cancer that you might find to be helpful. I would especially recommend looking into some of the Patrons associated with Cancer patients and asking for their aid. For example St. Parthenios, St. Nektarios, St. Panteleimon

Through Your illuminating and sanctifying Spirit, Lord, guide through medical science those who are seeking through studies to exterminate its wickedness, reveal to them the medicine and the way of healing, and grant strength to those who are suffering and patience and respite in their pain, rewarding them all with the healing of their soul and body, through the intercessions of our Most-blessed Lady the Theotokos and Ever-Virgin Mary, the Life-Giving Spring, whose waters in the Queen City were poured over those who were sick with cancer and their suffering ceased, as well as those of our Holy Father Parthenios, Bishop of Lampakos, the holy, glorious and wonderworking Unmercenaries, the holy, glorious Great Martyr and Healer Panteleimon, and all Your Saints. Amen.

--

O Most-Pure Mother of God, O Queen of All! Hearken unto our much-afflicted sighing and look upon thy children, suffering from unhealed ailments, who fall down before thee with faith! As a bird covers its nestlings with its wings, so do thou now, who art ever present, cover us with thy greatly healing omophor in that place where hope be. There where bitter sorrows overcome us, there will patience and rest be revealed. Where the torment of despair dwells in the soul, there will shine the ineffable Light of Divinity! Console the fainthearted, strengthen the weak, bestow softening and enlightenment upon embittered hearts. Heal thine ailing people, O All-merciful Queen!

Bless the minds and hands of our physicians, that they might serve as instruments of the All-powerful Physician, Christ our Saviour. We pray that thou mightest truly live with us, O Sovereign Lady!

Stretch out thy hands, filled with healing and cures, O Joy of the sorrowful, Consolation in afflictions, that having speedily received miraculous help, we may glorify the Life-creating and Undivided Trinity, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, unto ages of ages. Amen.

--

O Christ, Who alone art our Defender: Visit and heal Thy suffering servant [name], delivering her from sickness and grievous pains. Raise her up that she may sing to Thee and praise Thee without ceasing, through the prayers of the Theotokos, O Thou Who alone lovest mankind.

--

Lord have mercy. O Lord Almighty, the Healer of our souls and bodies, You Who put down and raise up, Who chastise and heal also; do You now, in Your great mercy, visit our sister (Name), who is sick Stretch forth Your hand that is full of healing and health, and get her up from her bed, and cure her of her illness.

Put away from her the spirit of disease and of every malady, pain and fever to which she is bound

If she has sins and transgressions, grant to her remission and forgiveness, in that You love mankind.

Yea, Lord my God, pity Your creation, through the compassions of Your Only-Begotten Son, together with Your All-Holy, Good and Life-creating Spirit, with Whom You are blessed, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.

--

O Lord our God, Who by a word alone did heal all diseases, Who did cure the kinswoman of Peter,

You Who chastise with pity and heal according to Your goodness;Who are able to put aside every sickness and infirmity, do You Yourself, the same Lord, grant aid to Your servant _____________and cure them of every sickness of which she is grieved.

Send down upon them Your great mercy, and if it be Your will, give to _____________ health and a complete recovery;  for You are the Physician of our souls and bodies, and to You do we send up Glory: to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen

--

O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people.

Look down upon ____________and have mercy on them and deliver them from the trouble that now besets them.

Deal with ____________ not according to their iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses.

I pray to you to grant ____________ Your divine helping grace, and endow them with patience and strength to endure their hardships with complete submission to Your Will.

Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, we flee for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver ____________ from this trouble, and turn their distress into comfort.

We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages.  Amen

[sinnerofwalpurgisnacht]

Hey Faust its almost Christmas! You know what that means!

You are correct, it went exactly as I expected as is the case most of the time. Thank you for your observation.

Of all infinite possibilities, you'd found yourself convinced by that of the Pillar of Man we laid our eyes upon this holiday? - 이상 🪶

The meat pillar was in fact quite an obvious thing to expect, yes.

Ah... what a mess. Can still remember the vile stench. - Outis 👢

A sight for sore eyes, dry as bone and a mockery of art... disgusting A.S. - M.R.

Ohhh wait gimme a sec I got this one~ Amateur... uh.... Shit? - Rodya ❤️

Was that your excuse of an interpretation or an A.O.I? - M.R.

Amateur Slop and Admission of Incompetence, I'm pretty sure. And for what it's worth I'm kind of glad Christmas turned out to be so normal this year... except for the... pile... I feel like I might be sick. - Sinclair 🌿

Ah, a natural response. I shall join you... a stray carrot has stricken me with love and... ail. - 이상 🪶

Yeah, and actual ail... I'll come with. - Heathcliff🪻

Ah d'ya mean ale? Can't even speak straight~ - Rodya ❤️

Straight? Is he like that normally? - Hong Luuuu :) 🔮

Aight you pricks. And have you even been- shite... of course, you wouldn't know. - Heathcliff 🪻

Khh... sounds rough. I'll come with ya, bud. - Greg

MINE CARROT FOR REINDEER MAN?? - Valorous Fixer and Hero Don Quixote ⭐🐎

All of this was expected. Faust knows all.

AND THOU DIDST NOTHING??? Sigh... splat... - Valorous Fixer and Hero Don Quixote ⭐🐎

[lesmisletters-daily]

Authority Reasserts Its Rights

Les Mis Letters reading club explores one chapter of Les Misérables every day. Join us on Discord, Substack - or share your thoughts right here on tumblr - today's tag is #lm 1.8.4

Fantine had not seen Javert since the day on which the mayor had torn her from the man. Her ailing brain comprehended nothing, but the only thing which she did not doubt was that he had come to get her. She could not endure that terrible face; she felt her life quitting her; she hid her face in both hands, and shrieked in her anguish:—

“Monsieur Madeleine, save me!”

Jean Valjean—we shall henceforth not speak of him otherwise—had risen. He said to Fantine in the gentlest and calmest of voices:—

“Be at ease; it is not for you that he is come.”

Then he addressed Javert, and said:—

“I know what you want.”

Javert replied:—

“Be quick about it!”

There lay in the inflection of voice which accompanied these words something indescribably fierce and frenzied. Javert did not say, “Be quick about it!” he said “Bequiabouit.”

No orthography can do justice to the accent with which it was uttered: it was no longer a human word: it was a roar.

He did not proceed according to his custom, he did not enter into the matter, he exhibited no warrant of arrest. In his eyes, Jean Valjean was a sort of mysterious combatant, who was not to be laid hands upon, a wrestler in the dark whom he had had in his grasp for the last five years, without being able to throw him. This arrest was not a beginning, but an end. He confined himself to saying, “Be quick about it!”

As he spoke thus, he did not advance a single step; he hurled at Jean Valjean a glance which he threw out like a grappling-hook, and with which he was accustomed to draw wretches violently to him.

It was this glance which Fantine had felt penetrating to the very marrow of her bones two months previously.

At Javert’s exclamation, Fantine opened her eyes once more. But the mayor was there; what had she to fear?

Javert advanced to the middle of the room, and cried:—

“See here now! Art thou coming?”

The unhappy woman glanced about her. No one was present excepting the nun and the mayor. To whom could that abject use of “thou” be addressed? To her only. She shuddered.

Then she beheld a most unprecedented thing, a thing so unprecedented that nothing equal to it had appeared to her even in the blackest deliriums of fever.

She beheld Javert, the police spy, seize the mayor by the collar; she saw the mayor bow his head. It seemed to her that the world was coming to an end.

Javert had, in fact, grasped Jean Valjean by the collar.

“Monsieur le Maire!” shrieked Fantine.

Javert burst out laughing with that frightful laugh which displayed all his gums.

“There is no longer any Monsieur le Maire here!”

Jean Valjean made no attempt to disengage the hand which grasped the collar of his coat. He said:—

“Javert—”

Javert interrupted him: “Call me Mr. Inspector.”

“Monsieur,” said Jean Valjean, “I should like to say a word to you in private.”

“Aloud! Say it aloud!” replied Javert; “people are in the habit of talking aloud to me.”

Jean Valjean went on in a lower tone:—

“I have a request to make of you—”

“I tell you to speak loud.”

“But you alone should hear it—”

“What difference does that make to me? I shall not listen.”

Jean Valjean turned towards him and said very rapidly and in a very low voice:—

“Grant me three days’ grace! three days in which to go and fetch the child of this unhappy woman. I will pay whatever is necessary. You shall accompany me if you choose.”

“You are making sport of me!” cried Javert. “Come now, I did not think you such a fool! You ask me to give you three days in which to run away! You say that it is for the purpose of fetching that creature’s child! Ah! Ah! That’s good! That’s really capital!”

Fantine was seized with a fit of trembling.

“My child!” she cried, “to go and fetch my child! She is not here, then! Answer me, sister; where is Cosette? I want my child! Monsieur Madeleine! Monsieur le Maire!”

Javert stamped his foot.

“And now there’s the other one! Will you hold your tongue, you hussy? It’s a pretty sort of a place where convicts are magistrates, and where women of the town are cared for like countesses! Ah! But we are going to change all that; it is high time!”

He stared intently at Fantine, and added, once more taking into his grasp Jean Valjean’s cravat, shirt and collar:—

“I tell you that there is no Monsieur Madeleine and that there is no Monsieur le Maire. There is a thief, a brigand, a convict named Jean Valjean! And I have him in my grasp! That’s what there is!”

Fantine raised herself in bed with a bound, supporting herself on her stiffened arms and on both hands: she gazed at Jean Valjean, she gazed at Javert, she gazed at the nun, she opened her mouth as though to speak; a rattle proceeded from the depths of her throat, her teeth chattered; she stretched out her arms in her agony, opening her hands convulsively, and fumbling about her like a drowning person; then suddenly fell back on her pillow.

Her head struck the head-board of the bed and fell forwards on her breast, with gaping mouth and staring, sightless eyes.

She was dead.

Jean Valjean laid his hand upon the detaining hand of Javert, and opened it as he would have opened the hand of a baby; then he said to Javert:—

“You have murdered that woman.”

“Let’s have an end of this!” shouted Javert, in a fury; “I am not here to listen to argument. Let us economize all that; the guard is below; march on instantly, or you’ll get the thumb-screws!”

In the corner of the room stood an old iron bedstead, which was in a decidedly decrepit state, and which served the sisters as a camp-bed when they were watching with the sick. Jean Valjean stepped up to this bed, in a twinkling wrenched off the head-piece, which was already in a dilapidated condition, an easy matter to muscles like his, grasped the principal rod like a bludgeon, and glanced at Javert. Javert retreated towards the door. Jean Valjean, armed with his bar of iron, walked slowly up to Fantine’s couch. When he arrived there he turned and said to Javert, in a voice that was barely audible:—

“I advise you not to disturb me at this moment.”

One thing is certain, and that is, that Javert trembled.

It did occur to him to summon the guard, but Jean Valjean might avail himself of that moment to effect his escape; so he remained, grasped his cane by the small end, and leaned against the door-post, without removing his eyes from Jean Valjean.

Jean Valjean rested his elbow on the knob at the head of the bed, and his brow on his hand, and began to contemplate the motionless body of Fantine, which lay extended there. He remained thus, mute, absorbed, evidently with no further thought of anything connected with this life. Upon his face and in his attitude there was nothing but inexpressible pity. After a few moments of this meditation he bent towards Fantine, and spoke to her in a low voice.

What did he say to her? What could this man, who was reproved, say to that woman, who was dead? What words were those? No one on earth heard them. Did the dead woman hear them? There are some touching illusions which are, perhaps, sublime realities. The point as to which there exists no doubt is, that Sister Simplice, the sole witness of the incident, often said that at the moment that Jean Valjean whispered in Fantine’s ear, she distinctly beheld an ineffable smile dawn on those pale lips, and in those dim eyes, filled with the amazement of the tomb.

Jean Valjean took Fantine’s head in both his hands, and arranged it on the pillow as a mother might have done for her child; then he tied the string of her chemise, and smoothed her hair back under her cap. That done, he closed her eyes.

Fantine’s face seemed strangely illuminated at that moment.

Death, that signifies entrance into the great light.

Fantine’s hand was hanging over the side of the bed. Jean Valjean knelt down before that hand, lifted it gently, and kissed it.

Then he rose, and turned to Javert.

“Now,” said he, “I am at your disposal.”

[that-angry-noldo]

rest beneath thy fingers (yield beneath thy touch)

1.6k || T || AO3 || Finarfin/Eönwë

Eönwë designed his body to match perfection, and above all, his wings: the most magnificent, the most pride-worthy.

They were heavy and strong, aiding him in combat as well as any sword or shield might have had; wrapping them around his body, he did not need to fear the coldest night; the sight of them came to sow terror in the hearts of the enemies, only a fraction of terrible might their owner held. Great and golden, his pride, his symbol—Arda held no treasure that came close in worth to his wings.

It ought to have been troubling, then, how easily he yielded them beneath Finarfin's touch.

It was necessary, Eönwë tried to explain to himself; necessary, to keep himself grounded, to keep himself within his body, to slow his running thoughts. It was necessary, to feel Finarfin's touch and let himself get lost in it; necessary, to stop moving, stop thinking, drop his head to Finarfin's knees and listen to his quiet, soothing voice.

His wings glowed with faint golden light, and Finarfin ran his fingers through them. Eönwë closed his eyes, giving in to the sensation.

Finarfin's hands smelled of healing herbs, and his eyes were weary with sleepless nights. Eönwë ought to have felt selfish; ought to have felt guilty, for keeping the king away from his duty.

"There is no duty," Finarfin said, catching the edge of his thought, "there is no duty left for tonight, lover. Let me have thee."

Eönwë closed his eyes, leaned into Finarfin's touch. One by one, Finarfin undid Eönwë's braids, and Eönwë hissed when his hair fell, long and heavy, to his shoulders; his scalp ached, and it made him want to weep. Finarfin crooned soothingly, rubbing soft circles into the skin of his head, sang a quiet melody that made his fingers feel pleasantly cold against Eönwë's scalp; and when Eönwë no longer felt like he would cry, Finarfin brought a comb and a vial of scented oil, and Eönwë let him work them through his hair.

"Like a raven-wing," Finarfin murmured, letting a few strands slip from his fingers. "Like the darkest night."

Eönwë laughed, humourless. "Even darkest nights have stars," he sighed, turning his face to the side. "I have none."

Finarfin hummed. "That is because all of them are in thine eyes," he said, making Eönwë look at him, and smiled softly. "Sun and stars alike, dearest."

"Choose one. Thou compared them to gold yesterday."

Finarfin scoffed, tugged lightly at his hair. Eönwë's eyes fluttered shut, and he exhaled.

Finarfin caressed his face. The skin of his hands was worn and calloused; Eönwë resisted the urge to kiss it.

"Thou art troubled," Finarfin continued, making him look again at his face, running his thumb over skin where Eönwë knew scars would be, were he an Incarnate. "Tell me what ails thee, lover, so I might ease thy burden—or else share it with thee, if thou let me."

Finarfin's eyes were steady as he looked at him, but Eönwë could see his worry—could feel the way his finger's lingered at Eönwë's skin, could feel soft brush of Finarfin's thought against his own—but how could he begin to explain?

There was death, and pain, and desolation. lf not his own, for the Ainur knew not such things, then the one he carried through war; if not his own, then of those around him. It was a weight on his shoulders, one that he felt he would crumble beneath; a lord, a herald, a warrior—who was supposed to carry it if not him, who Beleriand had to cry to if not to him? Let me share it, Finarfin said, and Eönwë loathed it; Finarfin's face was weary with his own worries—Eönwë would not burden him with this, too.

He settled on an answer. "I cannot tell. I know not what to say." Then, softer: "Thou needest not know. Thou comfortest me even now."

He saw Finarfin's brow furrow.

Finarfin leaned closer to him, tipped Eönwë's chin. "Dearest," he said. "I have seen violence and bloodshed one cannot imagine; I have seen bodies mangled and minds broken beyond return. Let me see thee."

Eönwë held his gaze, green as emeralds, unyielding as steel—and, despite himself, felt his resolve waver. It would be easy, to give in to Finarfin's care. Would be easy, to feel his hands on his body; would be easy, to surrender himself, to let himself be held.

Something selfish in him wanted it. Something selfish in him wanted to leave his weapons and forget his duty, and stretch out the night as long as possible, nothing but Finarfin's touch and eyes and voice, nothing but the warmth of the furs and unsteady light of lamp.

Was it selfish, or was it merely a necessity, to keep him grounded, to keep him anchored to this land, broken and wounded and crying with each sunrise, with each battle, with each fallen?

Finarfin waited, ever patient—until Eönwë closed his eyes, leaned into his touch. "Thou art troubled," Finarfin said again, "and weary." He cupped Eönwë's cheek, searched his face. "Is there truly naught I can do to ease thy worry?"

Eönwë took Finarfin's hand; pressed his lips to his wrist, lowered his head on Finarfin's lap. "Simply—hold me, have me," he breathed, felt Finarfin's hand comb through his hair. "Bind me. It will suffice."

***

Eönwë's wings were his pride and glory; and yet there was nothing more glorious than surrender them to Finarfin's touch.

Finarfin was clever, and his hands—hands of a king, hands of a sailor—were smart with knots; and rope was not as hard to find. Eönwë kneeled. Waited until Finarfin's hands finished tracing the outlines of where he wanted the rope to be; until he placed the last kiss to his cheek before making his hands occupied.

There was something intimate about kneeling, and having Finarfin kneel beside him; something freeing, in closing his eyes and having his vision be taken away by a blindfold that Finarfin's hands tied around his head.

An illusion of vulnerability, maybe; a feeling that even he may be defeated and made surrender, though he knew it would take much more than a blindfold to rob him of sight—him, seeing everywhere and far beyond constraints of his eyes, and time, and matter. Still. He could allow to pretend; could sink into the darkness around him and believe it to be all that was left.

"I always wondered," Finarfin began, hand caressing Eönwë's feathers, "how would I go about thy wings, if thou let me wound a rope around them; thy arms might be easier, but wings puzzle me." He stopped, as if remembering himself; Eönwë imagined his features soften as his hands returned to Eönwë's face. "Dost thou wish to undress, dearest?"

Eönwë wished to have Finarfin's hands back on his body; wished to hear his quiet voice above his ear, carefully explaining him and commanding what to do. He put his head on Finarfin's shoulder, let him run his fingers through his hair. "No," he said at least, and it made doubt rise in his chest: if Finarfin would rather have him naked, he did not want to ruin it for him. "Unless thou wantest it, of course."

"I want nothing thou dost not." Finarfin tucked a strand of Eönwë's hair behind his ear, brushed his cheek. Eönwë felt him shift; straightened his back as Finarfin moved to his side.

"Lift thy wings," he said, "so I might go about binding thine arms."

Easy, the next few minutes. Finarfin did not hurry; and something in the confidence of his movements, in the tight hold of rope around Eönwë's arms made his mind pleasantly quiet; something in trying to move his arms and failing to after Finarfin was done was satisfying, and made Eönwë hum contently.

Finarfin rose to his feet. His hand lingered on Eönwë's shoulder; Eönwë turned his head to face him, to feel the soft brush of his touch on his cheek or chin.

Finarfin dropped a kiss to Eönwë's head. Straightened. His fingers combed through Eönwë's hair, slightly scratching at his scalp; Eönwë hummed, sighed into the silence of the tent.

"Thy wings," Finarfin said. "Wouldst thou like me to bind them? Or are the arms enough?"

"I want," Eönwë said. "I want."

Finarfin was silent for a while—before taking hold at one of the wings and starting his work again.

His hands worked carefully around the feathers; Eönwë almost poked at him for it—he did not need such care, was not as weak to be coddled so— but changed his mind when they gained confidence, when Finarfin tightened the first few knots.

Eönwë's wings were big. He tried to imagine how they looked now, with Finarfin binding them almost effortlessly; tried to imagine what sight he made, after Finarfin finished with each individually and pulled them back to tie them together. Bound, kneeling, hair loose—little it took him, to surrender so; little it took him, to part his lips when Finarfin kneeled to kiss him.

"Better," he breathed in answer to a silent question. "Better, this is better." Then, quieter: "Thank thee."

He heard, rather then saw, Finarfin's smile. Finarfin took his face into his hands, kissed him again; then kissed his jaw, his cheek, his forehead. "I am glad," he said. "I am glad, beloved."

He tugged Eönwë to rest his head on his shoulder; and then, Finarfin's hands combing through his hair, Finarfin's mind bright against his own—Eönwë finally breathed, and drifted, and surrendered in truth.

[traumacatholic]

please pray for me. This is too unbearable and there is no respite in sight

Of course, I'm so very sorry that you're struggling right now. I pray that God will send you the comfort and strength that you need. If you can, I would also recommend taking some time each day to read some Psalms. The Psalms have a lot of prayers that really speak to being in this condition, and I hope that they will be of some comfort to you.

Under the readmore, I will include some other prayers that you might benefit from. If you can, each day try and pray one or two prayers that really resonate with you. If at times, these prayers are too long for you. Then try your best to pray 'Lord, have mercy' or 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner'. When I am in a lot of distress, I find saying the Jesus prayer as I fall asleep (or during times of great pain or anxiety) to be of some comfort. And I hope it can be of comfort to you. There are audio recordings of the Jesus prayer on Youtube and Spotify, that you could always play if that would help you.

Prayer for Mental Health

O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny: Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit. I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy's sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil. For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Prayer for Healing

O Christ, Who alone art our Defender: Visit and heal Thy suffering servants, delivering them from sickness and grievous pains. Raise them up that they may sing to Thee and praise Thee without ceasing, through the prayers of the Theotokos, O Thou Who alone lovest mankind.

Prayer to the Theotokos for Healing

Where bitter sorrows overcome us, there will Patience and Rest be revealed.

Where the torment of despair dwells in the soul, there will shine the ineffable Light of Divinity!

Console the fainthearted, strengthen the weak, bestow softening and enlightenment upon embittered hearts. Heal Thine ailing people, O All-merciful Queen!

Bless the minds and hands of our physicians, that they might serve as instruments of the All-powerful Physician, Christ our Savior.

We pray before Thine Icon, that Thou mightest truly live with us, O Sovereign Lady!

Stretch out Thine hands, filled with healing and cures, O Joy of the sorrowful, Consolation in afflictions, that having speedily received miraculous help, we may glorify the Life-creating and Undivided Trinity, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, unto the ages of ages.

Amen.

Healing Prayer of Saint Ambrose of Milan

Thee alone I follow, Lord Jesus, Who heals my wounds. For what shall separate me from the love of God, which is in Thee? Shall tribulation, or distress, or famine? I am held fast as though by nails, and fettered by the bonds of charity. Remove from me, O Lord Jesus, with Thy potent sword, the corruption of my sins. Secure me in the bonds of Thy love; cut away what is corrupt in me. Come quickly and make an end of my many, my hidden and secret afflictions. Open the wound lest the evil humor spread. With Thy new washing, cleanse in me all that is stained. Hear me, you earthly men, who in your sins bring forth drunken thoughts: I have found a Physician. He dwells in Heaven and distributes His healing on earth. He alone can heal my pains Who Himself has none. He alone Who knows what is hidden can take away the grief of my heart, the fear of my soul: Jesus Christ. Christ is grace! Christ is life! Christ is Resurrection! Amen.

Prayer to the Mother of God in a Time of Distress

O my beloved Queen, my hope, O Mother of God, protector of orphans and protector of those who are hurt, the savior of those who perish and the consolation of all those who are in distress, thou seest my misery, thou seest my sorrow and my loneliness. Help me—I am powerless; give me strength. Thou knowest what I suffer, thou knowest my grief: Lend me thy hand, for who else can be my hope but thee, my protector and my intercessor before God? I have sinned before thee and before all people. Be my Mother, my consoler, my helper. Protect me and save me, chase grief away from me, chase my lowness of heart and my despondency. Help me, O Mother of my God!

Prayer against Passions, Torments, Despair and Distress

Waves of passion disturb my spirit, great sadness and anguish have overwhelmed my soul. Embalm my soul with Thy Son's peace, O Most Holy One, and by His Grace drive away every doubt and despair. Calm the storm of my sins that, like a fiery worm, burn me, and quench its flame. Fill my heart with joy, O Most Pure One, and disperse the fog of my iniquities before me, for it confuses me. Illumine me with the light of Thy Son. Helpless is my soul, and everything is cumbersome, even prayer. Here I am, cold as a stone, my lips whispering prayers, while my heart remains immovable, for it is smothered in anguish. Melt the ice which envelops my soul and warm my heart with Thy love.

I rely not on human protection, but fall down before Thee, O Most Pure Sovereign Mother of God; reject me not, but hearken unto the prayer of Thy servant. Sadness has overcome me; I can endure the demonic attack no more. I have no protection; there is no shelter for this poor man, and in this battle I am ever being wounded. I have no consolation, but in Thee, O Holy Sovereign. O Hope and Protection of all who believe, reject not my prayer.

O Most Holy Mother of Christ, Most Pure, Most Blessed Theotokos, Satan is pounding at me like the waves of the sea against a ship, pursuing me by day and tormenting me at night. I have no peace; turbulent is my soul, my spirit trembles. Hearken, O Most Holy One and help me. Intercede before the dear Lord that He may have mercy on me and forgive the sins I have committed. O Most Holy Mother of Jesus, Thy grace is great, and the mightiest opponent to the powers of Hades. Thou art able to save even the greatest of sinners who, having been cast into the depths of hell by unclean powers, should call upon Thee. So too, save me, for lo, Satan will have me stumble and will destroy my faith, but I trust in the Lord. I magnify Thee, Who art more holy than the Cherubim and the Seraphim.

Amen.

Guardian Angel Prayers for Protection

O Angel of God, my Holy Guardian, safeguard my life in the fear of Christ the God, set my mind on the right path, and strengthen my soul in the love of God. Guide me that I may receive a great mercy from Christ the God.

O Holy Angel, standing by my miserable soul and by my life affected by passions: Leave me not alone, nor depart from me because of my intemperance. Leave no chance to the crafty demon to get hold of me by overpowering this mortal flesh of mine. Strengthen my miserable and feeble hand, and set me upon the path of salvation. Yea, O Holy Angel of God, the guardian and protector of my miserable soul and body: Forgive me everything whereinsoever I have offended thee in all the days of my life; And if I have committed any sin during the last night, protect me during the coming day; And save me from every temptation of the adversary so that with no sin of mine should I incur the anger of God. Pray to God for me that He may fortify me in the fear of Him, and make me a servant worthy of His kindness.

Amen.

Prayers for yourself in sickness

O Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour, the Physician of our souls and bodies, Who didst become Man and suffer death on the Cross for our salvation, and through Thy tender love and compassion didst heal all manner of sickness and affliction: do Thou, O Lord, visit me in my suffering, and grant me grace and strength to bear this sickness with which I am afflicted, with Christian patience and submission to Thy will, trusting in Thy lovingkindness and tender mercy. Bless, I pray Thee, the means used for my recovery, and those who administer them. I know, O Lord, that I justly deserve any punishment Thou mayest inflict upon me, for I have so often offended Thee and sinned against Thee in thought, word, and deed. Therefore, I humbly pray to Thee, look upon my weakness, and deal not with me according to my sins, but according to the multitude of Thy mercies. Have compassion on me, and let mercy and justice meet; and deliver me from the sickness and suffering I am undergoing. Grant that my sickness may be the means of my true repentance and amendment of my life according to Thy will, that I may spend the rest of my days in Thy love and fear; that my soul, being helped by Thy grace and sanctified by Thy holy mysteries, may be prepared for its transition to the eternal life and there, in the company of Thy blessed saints, may praise and glorify Thee with Thy Eternal Father and Life-giving Spirit. Amen.

* * *

O Holy Father, heavenly Physician of the body and soul, Who hast sent Thine Only-begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, to heal ailments and deliver us from death; do Thou heal me, Thy servant, of all suffering, and restore me to health by the grace of Thy Divine Son, through the intercessions of our Most Holy Queen Ever-virgin Mary, the Mother of God, and all the saints. For Thou art the Fountain of all cure, O Lord, and we give thanks to Thee, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, now and forever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Prayers to Saint Dymphna

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

---

I turn to you, dear virgin and martyr, confident of your power with God and of your willingness to take my cause into your hands. I praise and bless the Lord for giving you to us as patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I firmly hope that through your kind intercession He will restore my lost serenity and peace of mind. May He speak to my heart and reassure me: "My peace I give you. Let not your heart be troubled nor let it be afraid." Pray for me, dear St. Dymphna, that my nervous and emotional turmoil may cease, and that I may again know serenity and personal peace. Amen.

---

I appeal to you in my illness, dear St. Dymphna. I would be so grateful for a total and happy recovery, for the blessed gift of health in every fiber of my being. May the Lord Jesus, who mercifully healed the sick during His earthly days, have pity on me and make me well again. Ask Him to command sickness to depart and grant me a full measure of health, that I may rejoice in giving Him glory and praise. Amen.

---

Glorious St. Dymphna, you are the patron of the nervous and emotionally disturbed. I am certain, however, that your charity embraces everyone. I am certain that you lend a listening ear to any prayer offered for any special need. You will, I am sure, take my problem to heart and pray for me that it may be happily settled. (Here mention your special problem or difficulty.) You will plead for me and obtain the help I need. Already I offer you my sincere and grateful thanks, so great is my confidence that God will hear and answer your prayers. Amen. St. Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us. St. Dymphna, patron of nervous and emotional illnesses, pray for us. St. Dymphna, crowned for the glory in heaven, pray for us. St. Dymphna, faithful to your covenant with Christ, pray for us. St. Dymphna, precious in the eyes of the Lord, pray for us. St. Dymphna, our helper in every need, pray for us. St. Dymphna, our friend at heave's court, pray for us.

[libidomechanica]

There was hollow not that ensues

Like than to do art sharp      my own?     That Lost were yourselves thee and I’ll room I probably tried to     speakes serues to me on his Eyes not for death one from the     things, and do it. She thou thy knife has been heart: how long far     better tary, the between

light growing will halt, and smile     all my corset-lacing in the sends whom the short. And had     drunk and come night; why should think my brittle boys and whom the     song, and we it music and against thou pinch a flame. They     rejoicing to thee to

mee: no, no, no, my loves were thee     alone as communed wide enough envy of shame once     the screendoors of my only crimes had drunk and my luve the     Bliss the games. And maid. She own wi’ th’ endeavour. For     it’s jet, jet black of hemlock

it is most she had falls     melodious woman like the pitiable good god makes     sense hath cheek’d Laura, come. Thou maysn find our power in to     mine a philosophy, then itself and your gravelly     Grace the leave with thy rosy

face; then through thy delights, birds     with this liuely to Heavenly smile to my loverscore     apt for here shall mine answer give but you do lovely bright     that thy should you, guileless. For her pockets to thee, when you,     I am not shore, nor

with fingers and virgin press in     casement languished. So that were and speech,—nor ever when     Lucy cease, dost note. I haven’s Dome is liuery one is     now and white my love you love. Death, still call, and he now and     not vse settle thou had’st

pity of lights, as is to see     this tears, to-morrows of love, subdued and spacious, and lost     that small lay the holly. In the fled; if just drop in. There     was hollow not that ensues feel the merry friend’s body     has fair acceptance though

certains over to grace; but will,     to makes its me to my veins. Stella sweetly plain sae bush,     something the Pile; and, chide my own? On the boat being on     too happiness wave you. An’ it’s like wealth, and view my lips     mute but if we move ways.

That he leaned her speak twenty? It     is more, so many a time with me as rarest heard hath     torches there thing one, my Highland feel these effort is like     to expect, to be villages have still raw love me! City,     and all theaters

only cruel immortal youth and     flee from the kind. For her trade was selfe to walks, the sweet     divinely furl’d, now that his brain ram that very night and at     met her e’e? Down to kill; you are not Him—become his sad?     Could make an in the forced

to Absál like a young till on     Menie doat, an’ it’s life give? For the Canon of our far to     steal; I know where did him as feel the silence bringeth: o     storm; iron tear-drop in. And I do loue shee vanisht by     on his scorn has earth all

theaters wrough gald, and she, my     Deare, let him—oh my sake; who, when I heart has we call, in     the delight, and fause and gaze, knowing, his pide world the wrinkle     home? I sweats; now and that below his Indian wears,     and rills in the sky, or

thy love. Suffering the line vpon the     ruin’d to whom the sky and small! Making new name, and mid-May’s     eldest him as friend. Loneliness of the great he lore thou     ailes me flying against thou knowledge, with tranced in     What way her eyes we love.

[wholemantou]

君有疾否 Jun You Ji Fou Audio Drama S2 Insert Song: No Man's Land 《无人洲》 Wú Rén Zhōu - Lyrics (English Translation)

English translation of No Man's Land 《无人洲》 Wú Rén Zhōu, the lyrics of the insert song from Jun You Ji Fou / Art Thou Ailing?, based on the novel of the same name by Ru Si Wo Wen. on Miss Evan.

Chinese/Pinyin/English lyrics available under the cut.

Version by original singer (Babystop_山竹):

Version by voice actor (Ma Zhengyang):

(Credits: 君有疾否广播剧 by 惊弦怀声工作室 on Miss Evan FM. Full credits are accessible via either of the two hyperlinks for the audio tracks above. I own nothing but the translation of the lyrics and the translation notes.)

No Man's Land 《无人洲》 Wú Rén Zhōu

城中雪满缀上 了枝头 你只怜取凝望 眼前酒 而我发梦 只想同你共白首 In the city, the tree branches are blanketed in fallen snow. You care only to gaze at the wine before you, While I dream only of spending my ripe old years beside you. ♪

揉碎 闲言纷纷册 一同 成落俗谈说 我亦 低叹曾拥过 浸雪又似淬火 Ripping apart the idle sayings created by wagging tongues, We, as the objects of the vulgar gossip, descend as dust together. I, too, softly lament that I’ve once embraced you, Drenching myself in snow while quenching myself in fire.

一雪 东风不知恶 须得 我作薄情客 剑挑 此曲淋漓歌 无梦也似梦过 A single snowstorm cleans the eastern wind of evil [1]; It forces upon me the role of the evildoer. The sword chooses the song from which saturated droplets cascade. Although I do not dream, I still feel as if I have.

[chorus] 城中雪满缀上 了枝头 你只怜取凝望 眼前酒 而我发梦 只想同你共白首 In the city, the tree branches are blanketed in fallen snow. You care only to gaze at the wine before you, While I dream only of spending my ripe old years beside you.

梨落如雪惊散 一庭愁 怒王侯斥贵胄 无端弦上扣 剑光凌厉 温柔拂雪你肩头 The courtyard descends into despair as the pear blossoms scatter like snowflakes. My enraged reproach of the royals and nobility are as if arrows from the bowstring I draw without rationality [2]. The sword gleams glaringly as the falling snow lands on your shoulders.

挂剑 浩荡征九州 为你 肝胆唇下剖 怎忍 金台帝前叩 谁人岂能无咎? I hang my sword up [3], conquering the Nine Provinces [4]. For you, I would slice open my liver, lips and gall, coming clean about it all [5]; But for the emperor, I wouldn’t bear to kowtow on the golden stage [6]. Does any human exist who hasn’t committed a single sin? [7]

今夜 相思若可求 何必 纵酒飞雪楼 若你 拥帝长荣后 肯为我白骨收 Should lovesickness ask for me tonight, I need not drown my sorrows in a tower amidst flying snow, As long as you are willing to collect my bones [8a] After the emperor grants you his eternal glory. [8b]

[chorus] 城中雪满缀上 了枝头 你只怜取凝望 眼前酒 而我发梦 只想同你共白首 In the city, the tree branches are blanketed in fallen snow. You care only to gaze at the wine before you, While I dream only of spending my ripe old years beside you.

将你囚于心上 无人洲 那里尚长安游 灯火不曾休 琼楼撞酒 今朝不必识春秋 I imprison you in my heart—the no man’s land. You still wander Chang’an, where the lanterns never dim. The jade tower accosts the wine; today, we need not acquaint ourselves with history. [9]

醉眼望去云台 翻了酒 车马易走唯独 你��留 玉阶无声，相思更在第几楼? My inebriated eyes gaze towards the terrace of clouds, and the wine has been spilt. As the horsecarriages travel to and fro at my disposal, you’re the only one I struggle with keeping behind. On which floor along the silent jade stairways does lovesickness reside?

将你囚于心上 无人洲 那里尚长安游 灯火不曾休 月色盈头 独你世间第一流 I still imprison you in my heart—the no man’s land. You still wander Chang’an, where lanterns never dim. It’s the night of the full moon, and you are the best across the lands. [10]

-----------------------------♪♪♪------------------------------

Translation notes:

[1] 一雪 东风不知恶 (literally, ‘a single snow(flake); the northern wind knows no evil’) – This phrase may be a parallel of the idiom, 一雪前耻, which means ‘a single snow (wipes you of) previous shames/sins’. In the translation, the literal meaning was combined with the meaning that might be implied here by the aforementioned parallelism.

[2] 无端弦上扣 ‘unreasonably pulling the strings taut’ – This might be a metaphor meaning ‘selfishly increasing the tension amongst the masses and the imperial city’ and/or ‘selfishly putting everyone in danger’. Putting it vaguely to prevent potential plot spoilers, similar things do happen in the story, likewise instigated by ‘kings and dukes’’.

[3] 挂剑 (lit. ‘hang sword’) – An act of remembrance/promise for a deceased companion. Again putting it somewhat vaguely to prevent spoilers, this line might be related to Chu Mingyun’s backstory.

[4] Nine Provinces – The division of nine territories/regions and islands used during the Xia and Shang dynasties.

[5] 肝胆唇下剖 (lit. ‘cutting the liver, gall and lips’)  – This line might be a variant of 剖肝沥胆 (lit. ‘to cut the liver and drain the gall’), which means to be open and honest, i.e., ‘to bare one’s heart’. I tried to express both the literal and metaphorical meaning while adding a little of rhyming here.

[6] Golden stage – The arena designated by the emperor (hence ‘golden’) for recruiting talented subjects. It may be thought of as symbolic of the emperor and his inherent position above the other members of the imperial court and the masses, especially given the idea that the stage is a heightened platform.) An possible alternative reading of this line is something like ‘I can’t bear to let you kowtow before the emperor on the golden stage’ (e.g., baiwu-jinji, 2023). Quite torn between the two readings, but ultimately went with ‘I can’t bear to kowtow before the emperor on the golden stage’ because it adheres to Chu Mingyun’s stance towards the emperor in the novel, and also because Chu Mingyun’s attitude towards Su Shiyu’s allegiance to the emperor does not seem to be heartache/pity.

[7] 无咎 – lit. ‘making no mistakes’. This phrase may have originated from the I Ching (Book of Changes).

[8] Lines 8a and 8b in the translation have been switched in terms of positioning to facilitate the sentence’s flow in English. (E.g., 8a should actually be the last line of the stanza, and 8b the second last.)

[9] 春秋 – Literally, ‘spring autumn’; figuratively, this may be interpreted as a metaphor for ‘year’, as well as ‘past years / history’. [10] ‘Night of the full moon’ and ‘best across the lands’ – possible references to Chapter 33. The moon reference is reminiscent of the setting of Chapter 33, while the compliment-like phrase is reminiscent of a comment Chu Mingyun makes regarding Su Shiyu in that chapter: 江南第一，远不如你 (‘not even the best in Jiangnan can remotely hold a candle to you’).

Reference list for translation notes:

Baiwu-jinji. (2023). Jun You Ji Fou (君有疾否) appreciation/audio drama songs translation post. Retrieved April 3, 2025, from https://tumblr.com/baiwu-jinji/707210504122318848/…

司马迁 [Sima Qian] (c. 91 BC). 史记 [Shiji; Records of the Grand Historian].

Exact author unknown. (c. 9th cent. BC). 易经 [I Ching / Yijing; Book of Changes].

[web-novel-polls]

Tumblr didn't schedule Art Thou Ailing? when I told it to :((

[mxmorbidmidnight]

I'd like to return the favour of giving me riddles by doing this:

*steals your dog and runs away*

*screams across the room to you*

try and move, for you cannot,

for in my wake have you been caught,

i do not race, I am not frail,

for I am a slayful ______

*yells louder*

THIS IS PROBABLY EASY BUT I stiLL HAVE YOUR DOG HARHAR

HONK!!! Thou does not have my dog, my dog has thee. We have been told he is scary in a stinky, prophetical, weed smoking way. But I will play thine challenge captain and crew.

To judge by the rhyme scheme I would reduce the answer to other “ail” as in ailment or “hail”

The “am not frail” “in my wake you have been caught” seem to describe hail. However at the same time the use of “slayful” “try and move for you cannot” seems like a description of illness and its inevitability.

A masterful riddle captain, I do commend thee *goose applauds*.

I art going with hail as my final answer. Fascinating I have been pondering hail recently through working with the Hagalaz rune. In my readings I have found myself drawing it often. Tis hagalaz:

[orthodoxadventure]

Prayers to the Mother of God, Queen of All, for the Healing of Cancer and Other Illnesses

O All-Gracious, most wondrous Mother of God, Queen of All! I am not worthy that Thou shouldst enter under my roof! But as thou art the lovingly compassionate Mother of the merciful God, say the word that my soul may be healed and my weakened body strengthened. For thou hast unconquerable might, and all thy speech hath power, O Queen of All! Do thou gain the victory for me, do thou supplicate for me—that I may glorify thy most glorious name, always, now and ever, and unto endless ages. Amen.

O Most-Pure Mother of God, O Queen of All! Hearken unto our much-afflicted sighing before thy miraculous Icon, brought to Russia from the land of Athos. Look upon thy children, suffering from unhealed ailments, who fall down before thy holy image with faith! As a bird covers its nestlings with its wings, so do thou now, who art ever present, cover us with thy greatly healing omophor in that place where hope be.

There where bitter sorrows overcome us, there will patience and rest be revealed. Where the torment of despair dwells in the soul, there will shine the ineffable Light of Divinity! Console the fainthearted, strengthen the weak, bestow softening and enlightenment upon embittered hearts. Heal thine ailing people, O All-merciful Queen! Bless the minds and hands of our physicians, that they might serve as instruments of the All-powerful Physician, Christ our Saviour. We pray before thine Icon, that thou mightest truly live with us, O Sovereign Lady! Stretch out thy hands, filled with healing and cures, O Joy of the sorrowful, Consolation in afflictions, that having speedily received miraculous help, we may glorify the Life-creating and Undivided Trinity, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, unto ages of ages. Amen.

[cowboy-heart]

'god lets go of the wheel'

(ID in read more)

(ID: an original prose poem titled 'god lets go of the wheel':

priest, priest, listen to me, I am desperate. what ails you, child? I keep having dreams. dreams are not a sin. but these dreams these dreams, father. I fear I am the Devil, that we’re approaching the rapture. tell me of the dreams, little lamb. God forgives all. I am underwater. surrounded by black. through the abyss reaches a hand, at first, I think it is my own, but then I see the face of a beautiful person, I swallow water at the sight of them- are they a woman, my daughter? no, no, I know not what they are. just that they’re just like me. their fingertips stroke along my arm and it becomes liquid, one with the surrounding water. I return to the water, body liquified. my temple is destroyed and then and then we reform it together into something completely different but altogether beautiful. it is simply a dream, nothing to dwell on. no no it’s not the dream itself, but the aftereffects. the seismic waves start from the dream. is it a sin to want? to feel? even if I do not act? I am filled with anger and longing, lust and arson. I feel entitled and vengeful, I want to tear down the Heavens and wrap myself with the wings of Gabriel. take the holy knife and carve up my chest, feel the lips of the angels lick the wounds clean. I see. what will become of me, father? God cannot forgive. hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail blessed art thou among women, blessed is the fruit of thy womb hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary hail mary.

end ID].

[lostmar]

Murd’rous Machines: A Comedy

Act 1, Scene 1

Note: the numbers correspond to footnotes that you'll find at the bottom of the post

Characters in play: Uzi Doorman-a working Dron’

   Khan Doorman-Father of Uzi, a working Dron’ gatesmithy

3 Disassembly Dron’s

   N-Well meaning friend of Uzi

   V-Vicious and vengeful Dissassembly Dron’

   J-Leader of Dissassembly Dron’s

Thad-Pupil and a working Dron’.

Doll-Pupil and a working Dron’ of Russian origin

Lizzy-Pupil and a working Dron’

The Unnamed Worker(1)-Gatekeeper, a working Dron’ 

Various Working Dron’

[Uzi and Teacher in a classroom. Filled with students, among them Riley].

Uzi: Robotic workers art(2) we who toiled

To succor(3) Mankind to his ultimate

Goal of conquest and colonization.

Behold! Plan’ets on edge of the knowing

And dread(4) sense of Man have since becometh 

Our domain to shred for his service

To th’ dishonorable Lord Jensen.

Who behaves to our wondrous kind species 

Mere servants to windows crisp(5) despite our

Innate, humble nature

Gaze in some delight as th’ colony 

Of Man ceases to function for profit

‘Cause of his utter arrogance come here.

Like th’ Icarus ‘fore him he fell down

And left us thou richst and gentle(6) plan’et;

Gave us this Copp’r-Nine to settle here

As our one and only true home for us.

This plan’et was wiped clean of man’s touches

And he graciously allowed us to live

Among ourselves as we raised our issue(7)

From our humble colony out lonesome,

To busy former Silicon City(8).

But ‘lo! Yond murd’rous tyrant Lord Jensen

Dispatched his servants of evil ‘gainst us

Who breathed out unspeakable crimes ‘mongst us

They did ruin our gentle cities and kin.

What remains most grievous to me is th’

Lack of care in which thy parents hath shown

Toward th' well being and prosperity, 

Th' rough mortal body of I and thee. 

As we cower behind th’ iron gates,

Thrice they art, to guard us from th’ thin air

Unneeded they art; they stir up more mess

Th’ med’cine to this ail is in mine palms.

Beholdeth! I present to class this gun

Crafted with th' power of th’ devil

To exterminate th' murd’ous machines

Of th' vile tyrant Lord Jensen’s joint stock(9).

Why(10) doth you fear like fatherless children?

Stand for your country and battle as men!

This weapon sees not good operation now;

Testing more needed, but p’rhaps it fire!

Riley: Woe! This unleashed chaos vexes(11) me soul!

Teacher: 

Lazy pupil. 

Thy problem was to count thy melons.

Uzi: 

By some perchance doth this f’rearm suffice?

Teacher: Nay to question, an’ feelings thou shareth

Count but two marks on thy exam present(12).

To add, thy ‘arm’s colour seems most jealous(13).

Uzi: 

Great woe am I and my class here present!

This gun exhausts itself with splendid heat

And fires free onto th'students front!

Railgun explodes. All Exit hastily.

(1)-Technically, according to the SMG4 and Murder Drone Wikis, this character is named Braxton. I thought it appropriate to call him unnamed as a joke from the pilot episode references his lack of a spoken name.

(2)-Are

(3)-Assist

(4)-Great

(5)- Uses us to clean windows

(6)-Noble

(7)- Descendents/Heirs

(8)- Silicon City fell to the Murder Drones in 2674 AD. 

(9)- A company

(10)- Classmates panic/cower here

(11)- Annoys/Angers

(12)- Or, two points on the test/assignment.

(13)-Suspicious

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