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part-time-zombie · 3 months

Text

Nobody's Fool But Yours

pairings: romantic prinxiety

summary: virgil doesn't want to admit that he loves roman. if he did then he'd have to come to terms with the fact that roman doesn't love him back. after a prank gone too far ends up with roman head over heels for someone else, virgil can't help but think he's truly lost any chance he had. maybe love can still blossom when it's least expected...

tags/warnings: love potion, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, this is what happens when an aroace loser tries to write a love story, janus and remus are kinda jerks in this one but whatever, subtle background demus if you squint

word count: 8779

a/n: i came up with the idea for this one after seeing the use of love potions as a trope and thinking "has it ever been used on someone they weren't already in love with?". i don't know if this turned out ok.

Virgil knew he was a downer. He killed the vibe constantly, always finding the negative in things until they weren’t interesting or exciting anymore. He was a pessimist, a depressing force that discouraged Thomas and the other sides from trying anything even remotely fun. He knew that.

It didn’t mean he couldn’t still be hopeful.

There have been times where his nervousness turned into anticipation, where he became excited instead of anxious. When that happened he felt almost optimistic, and the daunting scale of things fell away to reveal incredible potential. It was infrequent, but it still happened on occasion.

Especially around Roman.

He didn’t know what it was about Roman, how he carried a confidence so contagious it seemed to sometimes bleed over to Virgil and pierce his fog of fear with light and song. It had been happening a lot more lately, and Virgil was simultaneously concerned and grateful for it. Sure, he appreciated those momentary bouts of enthusiasm that almost made him forget about whatever it was that had been worrying him, but he wanted to understand why and how it was happening.

If he didn’t know any better he’d say it felt like butterflies in his stomach, but that was ridiculous. There was no way he felt like that about Roman of all sides, they were almost complete opposites in every way. Roman was too loud, too boisterous and dramatic and almost obnoxiously optimistic. He was overly confident in a way that bordered on arrogance, and he never thought things through before acting on impulse and putting himself and Thomas at risk.

Then why does Virgil still like spending time with him? Why the hell does he care so much about what Roman says or thinks about him? Why does he react so strongly to something as small as Roman smiling at him? Why does seeing him happy make Virgil feel this way, where he almost feels sure enough in himself to take a chance in the same way that Roman does?

He didn’t have a good answer for that.

It was hard to say when this had all started, he just gradually became aware of that funny feeling being there. Roman would do well on an audition or be celebrating a successful date that Thomas had been on, and as he danced around the living room with that happy glow on his face Virgil would be struck with that weird-but-not-bad feeling that made him want to do something. He didn’t know what, but he felt this almost excited drive to just… he didn’t really know. It was like an enthusiasm he couldn’t place, a buzzing in his veins and a thrumming in his chest that made him feel weightless and restless all at once, and it only happened like that when he was around Roman.

It wasn’t just Roman’s happiness that affected him. If Roman was struggling with something or upset about a lost opportunity he regrets not being able to take, Virgil would feel a heaviness in his chest and a knot in his stomach that would not leave him alone. This feeling was a lot easier for him to identify as dread and grief, but when he felt it towards Roman it was overwhelming. He couldn’t stand seeing him so dejected, so utterly devastated, and he would want to help in any way he could. He usually didn’t do too well with that, though. It was pretty clear that Roman was in need of a type of comfort that Virgil didn’t know how to give him.

Sometimes it felt like they spoke different languages. They were just too different, too unlike each other to like each other. That fact shouldn’t sting as much as it does, but it still made Virgil’s heart ache every time he thought about it. Roman had been so nice to him, he worked to make him feel like he was a part of the family, and Virgil couldn’t even return the favor in a way that mattered.

Despite this, Roman still spent time with him. In fact, Virgil usually wound up hanging out with Roman more than any other side. They would watch movies and play video games together in Roman’s room late into the night, joking back and forth until their sides hurt from laughing so much. Virgil didn’t usually laugh that hard around the others, yet Roman somehow knew just how to tease it out of him every time, spouting quips until Virgil was smiling so hard his face hurt.

It was on one of those days when it happened.

Virgil was with Roman in his room while they watched a movie. Well not so much watch, as they had both already seen it plenty of times by now and were mostly using it as background noise while they talked over it. They usually talked about senseless topics, never wavering any deeper than sharing their feelings on recent events, but this time Virgil felt surprisingly open, almost vulnerable in a way he never let himself be. He doesn’t remember how, but the conversation somehow made its way over to loneliness, an old and familiar ache for Virgil.

“You ever worry about dying alone?” he had asked. It was a more personal fear of his, and one he hadn’t planned on bringing up with Roman, yet it appears he was going to do just that.

Roman was quiet for two moments too long, and Virgil started to worry that he had gone and brought the mood down again. “Probably more than I should, if I’m being honest. But I try not to think about it. After all, with how likeable I am someone is bound to want to stick around,” he said this with a light and easygoing tone, but it sounded hollow in some subtle way. “Besides, it’s not like I’m completely alone. I’ve got Thomas and the others, and I’ve got you.”

Virgil’s stomach did that weird thing again, but he tried to ignore it. Besides, Roman surely didn’t mean it. Virgil was a buzzkill, a downer of the highest degree. To think that anyone, let alone Roman, would actually want to stick around with him that long was laughable.

“You’ll get tired of me eventually. It’s not exactly like I’m fun to be around,” he said.

“I didn’t say that. In fact, I think you can actually be some pretty decent company whenever you let your guard down like this,” Roman responded with a smile.

“You don’t mean that. I know I’m a lot to deal with, and I’ve probably got better luck at catching lightning in a bottle than finding someone who actually likes me.”

Roman didn’t say anything to that, though his eyes shone with an odd determination, like he had been presented with some challenge. He let Virgil change the subject, and the conversation was quickly forgotten in favor of a lighter topic.

It was two days later that Roman had knocked on Virgil’s door late at night. When Virgil finally pulled himself out of bed to answer the door, Roman had shoved something into his arms with a victorious smile before he could even get a word in.

“May the odds be forever in your favor, Katniss Everdoom,” he said with a wide grin.

Virgil looked down at what Roman had given him, only to nearly drop it in shock.

It was an ornate glass bottle, cap tightly secured to hold in the lightning bolt it contained. It writhed and danced around in the bottle like a tesla coil, never dwindling in its light or liveliness.

Virgil looked up at Roman in disbelief. “I, what, how did you… “

“Well, now that you’ve got your lightning in a bottle, maybe next time you’ll believe it when someone tells you they want to spend time with you,” he joked, granting Virgil one last wave before heading to his own room for the night. Virgil held the bottle close, unsure whether or not it was the static electricity from the lightning that made his nerves go all tingly and haywire.

That was around the time that Virgil had first started to consider the idea that he may have feelings for Roman, feelings that he really didn’t want to have to deal with.

Virgil had gotten really good at not dealing with those feelings, as it turns out. He could turn his smiles into smirks, avoid any and all discussions about romance by pretending to be annoyed instead of exposed, and squash down the butterflies like they were never there. It wasn’t easy but he got used to it, not like he had a choice. He couldn’t actually be expected to go and say something about what he was feeling, he’d just run the risk of mockery from the others and rejection from Roman, neither of which he wanted to endure. No, it was safest for him to just keep these stupid feelings to himself until he either stopped having them or died, whichever came first.

It was hard to not pretend to feel them around Roman, though. Especially when it was just the two of them in his room joking about the movie they weren’t watching. On nights like that when he made Roman hunch over and clutch at his sides with laughter, he felt almost tempted to go and say something about how seeing Roman this happy made Virgil feel less afraid. He’d stop himself every time, reminding himself that there was no way it would turn out well. He would just make Roman uncomfortable, overstepping their friendship by trying to make it into something emotional and complicated when it didn’t need to be. Besides, there was no way Roman felt like that about him. Virgil was everything that Roman stood against; fear versus confidence, pessimism versus optimism, doubt versus hope. That Roman tolerated him at all was miraculous enough.

Virgil tried to will the feelings away, spending more time alone and away from Roman and staying up far later than he wanted blasting every breakup song he knew to try and talk him out of it.

It didn’t work, all it did was make him even more miserable and tired.

This was stupid, he was being stupid. This wasn’t some ridiculous middle school crush; he was just surprised and happy to actually be friends with Roman and his idiot brain didn’t know how to handle it. That was all. Just a misunderstanding on his part and nothing more. It isn’t love.

The loud chiming of his alarm woke Virgil with a jerk. He really wanted to just go back to sleep, just sleep until everything went away. He heard the others make their way downstairs for breakfast, and Virgil resisted the urge to just roll over and stay in bed. If he did he would just make Patton worry, who would then get everyone else all freaked out and convinced that he had ducked out again, and he really didn’t want to put up with that whole mess.

Sighing in defeat, Virgil dragged himself out of bed and got dressed before slowly trudging down the hall towards the stairs. As he passed the others rooms, he heard a low but familiar chuckle come from behind one of the doors. He paused, looking at the door to Janus’ room. Why the hell was Remus in there, and what was he laughing about? Not wanting to be on the receiving end of another one of their jokes, he threw the door open with a growl.

Janus and Remus turned in surprise to look at him, mischievous smiles slowly leaving their faces once they realized they had been interrupted.

“What the hell is so goddamn funny this early in the morning?” Virgil asked them. He wasn’t in the mood for whatever this was, and it was best to shut it down before it became anything worse.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Janus said with a smirk. “It’s not funny at all, and I’m definitely looking forward to a peaceful breakfast downstairs with everyone.”

Remus chuckled darkly, far less subtle about his amusement. “Oh yeah, I’m sure you’ll just love what’s for breakfast, Virge. Best go and grab a plate before there’s none left for you.”

Virgil pushed past the worry that had started to creep up on him, turning it into anger. “Look, whatever it is you guys are planning on doing, just don’t even try.”

“Oh, but Virgil, I’m afraid it’s already been done,” Janus cooed. “We’re just staying out of range. You ought to do the same, if you’re smart. Or not. Either way we’ll have a good laugh.”

Now Virgil let himself feel worried. Whatever they were doing it definitely wasn’t good, and he had to go warn the others before anything happened. He ran down the stairs without another word, rushing to the kitchen in a panic. In the time it took him to get downstairs his mind had already supplied him with a surplus of suggestions on the scene he’d walk into: fire, poison, injury, death, humiliation, mutilation, mockery, the very least he’d see is some horrible drama. He turned the corner, barging into the kitchen in a breathless rush, coming face to face with-

The other sides calmly sitting down to start breakfast.

Virgil struggled to get his breath back, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Patton was currently in the middle of flipping the last of the pancakes and Roman and Logan were seated calmly at the table, now looking up at him in surprise at his sudden entry. Everything looked exactly like it was supposed to, not a single thing out of place.

“Virgil, is everything alright?” Logan asked, confusion and concern in his voice.

“Yeah, I just… are you guys okay?” he asked in return, cringing at the shake in his voice.

“We’re all perfectly fine, though you clearly seem troubled. Did something happen?”

Virgil tried to calm himself down. Maybe Janus and Remus were just messing with him, trying to get him all worked up over nothing until he panicked over another false alarm. It definitely wouldn’t be the first time they pulled something like that, anyway.

“No, I just, did any of you see Remus or Janus in here earlier?”

“Oh god, what did they do this time?” Roman said with a groan before grabbing one of the finished pancakes and applying a generous helping of syrup to it.

“I don’t know, they were just acting really weird this morning.”

Patton finished the pancakes and took a seat next to Roman, curious and concerned. Roman looked down to take a large bite of his syrup-soaked breakfast as Logan answered him.

“I don’t recall seeing either of them all morning, in fact I was about to go look for them as they hadn’t shown up to eat yet. I doubt either of them did anything devious, Virgil.”

Roman looked up from his plate to throw a skeptical glance at Logan. He looked like he was about to say something, only for his jaw to fall open as he let his fork drop to the floor with a clatter.

“Roman, you okay?” Patton asked him.

Roman absently nodded his head in response, not taking his eyes off of the logical side. It didn’t take long for Logan to start to squirm under the stare.

“Is there something on my face?” he eventually asked.

Roman blinked and slowly shook his head, the ends of his mouth quirking upwards in a dopey openmouthed grin. “No, nothing. You look fine, Logan. Actually, you look great.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped in sync with everyone else’s. What the hell?

Logan balked for a moment, stunned by the sudden compliment. “I beg your pardon?”

“I just never really noticed how good those glasses look on you until now. You certainly wear them better than Patton does, anyway,” Roman said, smile never leaving his face.

“Roman, while I appreciate the flattery, you do know we have the same face, right? I don’t wear these glasses any differently than Patton does, and you don’t usually compliment me to begin with, so I must say I am surprised by this sudden change in behavior,” Logan slowly responded.

Roman’s face fell for a moment, before it swiftly brightened again. “Well, I’m sorry I never really complimented you before. You certainly deserve more praise, anyway. Maybe I can make up for it starting now. I mean, it’s not just your glasses that make you look so cool. It’s how your eyes shine behind them like stars in the night sky. And you really hold yourself with such composure and focus, it’s kind of mesmerizing to watch. Your hair is always so neatly combed, too, not a single strand out of place. I really must commend you for that, it is no easy feat. I just can’t believe I never noticed how amazing you are until now,” he exclaimed.

Virgil had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation that made sense. Either that or Roman was pulling one of the cruelest jokes of all time, but he wouldn’t do something like this. Why was he saying any of this, especially to Logan of all sides? While they didn’t hate each other, they certainly didn’t get along very well. They were constantly butting heads, and in all the years he’s known them Roman has never gone and flirted with him like this, almost like he was…

“Roman,” Patton slowly asked him, “are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

Roman finally turned to look at him, a lovestruck look on his face. “Of course, padre. I feel awesome, actually. I haven’t felt so light and lovely in a long time, it’s like all the love in me has finally found the chance to come singing to the surface, and all for Logan!” he clapped his hands together excitedly, expression shifting to something like a revelation as he looked back at Logan.

“That’s it! Logan, I’m going to compose a ballad in your name, expressing just how lovely you are! It could even be a duet. I know you aren’t too fond of singing, but it would be amazing if you’d sing this with me. You have such a beautiful singing voice, after all. Please, Logan, you’d be great at it, I know you will! You’re always so great at everything, and I would love to hear you sing with me!”

The distant sound of laughter made its way into the room, and Virgil turned to face Remus and Janus as they entered the kitchen.

“Oh, this is so much better than I thought it’d be,” Remus said with a laugh. “I just can’t get over the look on his face right now, he looks so stupid! He’s got no idea what happened!”

“What happened?” Logan asked, impatience evident in his voice.

“Oh, Logan, and here I thought you were clever enough to figure it out on your own,” Janus said with a condescending click of the tongue. “Remus put a love potion in the syrup, you see. While I did tell him that it was a bad idea at first, I must say I’ve since changed my mind.”

Virgil stared at them in shock. Janus had to be lying. Remus wouldn’t actually, he didn’t-

“Okay, this has gone way too far, you guys. I know you like to pull some really nasty stuff, but this is so not funny,” Virgil said, voice low and rumbling with anger.

“Oh, no, you’re right, Virge. It’s not funny, it’s fucking hilarious,” Remus cackled.

“What the hell is he talking about,” Roman said as he stood up from his chair. His expression changed from lovesick to furious, moving protectively in front of Logan with his sword in hand. “You should leave while you can before I cut you down. You don’t get to mess with Logan, not today. Now go while I’m giving you the chance. That goes for you too, snake,” he snarled.

Remus gave him a mockingly patronizing smile and a shrug before turning and strolling away with Janus in tow. Their laughter never quieted even after they had gone back upstairs. Roman sighed in relief once they had left, before looking back at Logan again.

“Are you alright, Logan? You know I wouldn’t let either of them try anything on you, right?”

Logan was unphased by the sudden appearance of the two sides, though he was definitely more focused on Roman. He stood up from his chair to better look Roman in the eye. “Did you not hear what Janus had said,” he started, keeping his voice even to ensure Roman listened. “Remus put a love potion in the syrup. You are currently under the effect of a drug; whatever it is you are feeling isn’t real. Please tell me you understand.”

Roman definitely understood him, going by the confused and conflicted look on his face as the words sunk in. It didn’t look like he accepted it, though.

“But this love is real, Logan,” he asserted. He took Logan’s hands into his own, looking down at them with teary eyes. “I know for a fact what love feels like. I’ve been feeling it for years now and this is that same love, just stronger and directed at you now. It won’t go away and I can’t stop feeling it, I’ve tried. I know that you probably want me to stop this, and I doubt you feel the same way about me, but I still feel love for you, and I can’t change that.”

Logan nodded before gently removing his hands from Roman’s. “I’m going to go talk to Janus and Remus to see if they’ll tell me how to undo the potions effects. Can you please wait here until I get back? I won’t be gone very long.”

Roman looked back at him, skepticism warring with loyalty. “How do you know they won’t try to hurt you? I think I ought to go with you just to make sure you’re safe,” he offered.

“I doubt they’ll do anything else today. Even if they did, they aren’t capable of actually hurting me. I will be fine, I promise. Just wait here for me, alright?”

Roman hesitantly nodded, watching as Logan made his way up the stairs before obediently taking a seat. Patton offered him a fresh pancake to comfort him while Virgil made himself busy tossing the syrup coated ones in the trash before anyone else could eat them.

He tried to ignore the slight shakiness in his hands, forcing himself to take a deep breath to steady himself. So Roman was in love with Logan now. Even if it wasn’t real, it was still real to Roman, and it might even be permanent. He could be like this forever. He tried to be positive about it, tried to feel happy that Roman could be this happy and in love after feeling so down lately, but he couldn’t stop himself from worrying. How far would this “love” go? Does Logan feel the same, and if he doesn’t how would Roman cope with that kind of rejection? Roman could be angry or hurt, he might never be able to recover from the love potion if that happens. It could turn into obsession, he could become hateful towards anyone he thinks is trying to take Logan from him.

Even if the potion could be reversed, how would it effect Roman afterwards? This is basically a roofie; he could do something he’d regret, and if he did would he even remember what happened? Could it wear off at all? It might be permanent, he might be like this forever now, utterly devoted to Logan in a way he had never been before. He didn’t even realize he had been holding his breath until the burning in his lungs forced a gasp from him.

He turned back to the other sides in the kitchen as he finished putting the now empty dish in the sink. Roman looked lost in thought, barely even looking at Patton, who was currently trying to say anything he could think of to make him feel better. His voice trembled slightly as he spoke, his hands fidgeting in his lap. He was worried too, though he was better at dealing with it.

“Now I know you said this love feels real to you, kiddo, but could you explain it to me please?” he asked, neither of them touching their now cooled pancakes.

“I don’t know how to put it into words, Patton,” Roman started, losing himself to the potions effects again as a wistful smile made its way to his face. “It’s like I look at him and everything just feels so much more… vibrant. Everything he does is just so brilliant, and I can’t get myself to look away from him, let alone stop thinking about him. When he looks at me, I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster. It makes me want to do anything to make him happy just so I can keep seeing him smile. Have you ever felt anything like that before?”

“No,” Patton replied.

Yes, Virgil thought.

Logan returned shortly after, looking slightly weary though he did his best not to show it. He adjusted his tie as he descended the stairs, and Roman lit up all over again the second he saw him.

“It appears this potion is not designed to be permanent,” he started, much to Virgil's relief. “However, Remus was decidedly unclear on how or when it would wear off. He seemed to imply that there was some cure, but he did not elaborate on it no matter how much I asked.”

“So, it’s basically permanent, then,” Virgil mumbled. “If there’s a cure, but we don’t know it or have it, then there’s nothing we can do to fix it. He’ll just be stuck like this forever if we can’t figure out the cure. He may never go back to normal.” He could feel the panic building again, he didn’t want Roman to be under these effects forever.

Logan gave him a knowing look. “Virgil, I doubt this will be a completely permanent change. It will probably wear off eventually, and if not then I will still be working on crafting an antidote the whole time. Remus said there was a cure, and we will find it. He will be alright.”

“Of course I’m alright,” Roman interjected. “Nothing about me has changed, my love is still just as real as it has always been. I may start feeling it towards Logan now, but these feelings are nothing new to me. I know for a fact that this love is not going anywhere, never has, never will.”

Roman had to be delirious. He didn’t love Logan, right? He’d have said something, done something, to let his feelings slip if he had really been feeling them all this time like he said he did.

Patton seemed to share Virgil's confusion. “Kiddo, what do you mean when you keep saying that you’ve had these feelings for a long time?” he asked.

“I mean that I’ve been in love this whole time, it’s just that now I’m in love with Logan.”

… what?

“Who were you in love with before?” Virgil whispered.

Roman took his eyes off of Logan for a moment, screwing his face in concentration. “I… don’t know. It’s all kind of fuzzy, I just know I’m in love and that Logan is who I feel that love for now.”

He looked back up, taking in the shock and confusion on everyones faces. And the dread that was probably on Virgil's. “I don’t mean to make this all so complicated, I really can’t help feeling this way about him.” He turned back in his chair to face Logan. “I know it’s a long shot, but… do you happen to feel that way about me at all?”

He looked hopeful, but full of doubt at the same time. Virgil didn’t know which would be worse to hear, Logan rejecting him or reciprocating. All eyes were on Logan now, curious on how he would answer this heavy question.

“I’m very sorry but I don’t feel the same way about you, Roman,” he said, voice soft and sympathetic. “I know you feel very strongly towards me right now, but it is a feeling I do not share.”

Roman's face fell. He looked down at his hands in his lap, quiet for a moment. “I kind of figured,” he murmured, almost to himself. “It’s alright, though. You don’t have to pretend to like me back. Just know that I’m still in love with you, Logan. I hope that’s alright.”

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t be,” Logan replied. “It is obvious that you cannot control these feelings, regardless of whether they are real or not. I need to find the cure for the potion. Would you like to take your mind off things and watch a movie downstairs while I work?”

The movie played out with little interruption. Patton kept trying to prompt Roman to talk about the movie, but his attention was elsewhere. He kept checking the stairs to see if Logan had come back yet, despite knowing that he would probably be busy for the rest of the day.

Roman slowly nodded, getting up from his chair and heading to the living room. Patton and Virgil followed while Logan grabbed the syrup and left to his room to run some tests.

Virgil couldn’t help but worry about him. Logan had told him that he would figure out a way to cure him and knowing him he’d find an answer in no time, but seeing Roman so… off, really irked him. He was like a lovesick puppy or a middle school dork dealing with their first real crush, all fidgety and constantly looking for ways to talk about the side he had fallen for.

He wanted to feel supportive of him, he really did. It was probably good for Roman to feel so happy, but there was this nagging voice in the back of Virgil's skull that itched away at him.

Roman had said that he felt this before, that he had been in love this whole time. Roman was already in love with someone else, and the potion probably just redirected his affections. The realization sat heavy on Virgil's chest. He couldn’t love Virgil anyway, not when he already loved someone else. Was it Patton? It’d make sense. The two usually got along pretty well, and they definitely had a lot more in common. He absolutely despised Janus, and since it looks like he didn’t feel this way about Logan until this morning it wasn’t him either. It had to be Patton, then.

Well maybe when this is over, he and Patton could be happy together. They’d have picnics and dance together at one of Roman's fancy balls and do all of the sappy things that people do when they’re in love. If Patton loved Roman back, Virgil would be happy for them.

Oh, who was he kidding? He’d be fucking miserable, and then he’d hate himself for being so selfish that he can’t even be happy for his friends. Why did he have to go and catch these stupid feelings for Roman? He didn’t feel the same, they were just too different. Virgil would never be comfortable dancing in a crowded castle with Roman, but that didn’t stop him from dreaming about enjoying a concert with him. Not like that would ever happen, especially not now.

“What’s on your mind, Virgil?” Patton asked from his spot on the couch.

Virgil looked up in surprise. He hadn’t even realized how quiet he’d become, absently chewing his nails while his mind ran itself in circles over something that couldn’t be helped.

“Oh, uh, it’s nothing. I guess I zoned out,” he said.

“Now I get it that you’re probably worried about Roman, but Logan is figuring it out right now. He’ll be okay, we just gotta hold on for a bit and then everything will be back to normal in no time.”

Roman perked back up at the mention of Logan's name. “Do you think he’ll be joining us for the next movie?” he asked. “We could play one of his favorite shows, and I won’t interrupt or talk over it if he doesn’t want. As long as he’s here with me, that’s all that really matters right now.”

Virgil felt restless. He couldn’t just keep listening to Roman ramble on about someone he thought he loved right next to the person he was actually in love with and the person he could never love back. It hurt too much. He got up from the couch and made his way upstairs.

“I’ll go check in on him,” he said. “He’s probably still pretty busy, though.”

“Can I go with you?” Roman called after him, already getting up to follow. “I want to see him, too. I miss him, and I want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Well, we can’t all go,” Virgil replied, stopping and turning to face Roman.

“Then you can stay and watch the movie and I’ll go check on Logan,” he offered.

Virgil wanted to argue, but it was clear that Roman wasn’t going to back down. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Just don’t be gone too long. He still needs to work.”

He moved back to the couch while Roman all but raced upstairs in search of Logan. Virgil sat back down with Patton and tried to keep watching the movie.

“What’s bothering you, kiddo?” Patton asked him, voice gentle and reassuring.

Virgil let out a dry chuckle at being read so easily. “Is it that obvious?”

“Well, while you aren’t usually talkative, you seem a lot quieter today. Is it about Roman?”

Virgil couldn’t do much more than nod, keeping his gaze focused on his hands instead of Patton. “I want him to be okay,” he admitted.

“Oh, sweetie, he’s fine. Everything’s going to be okay, you’ll see.”

Virgil could only hope so, but even if they could cure Roman, there was still the matter of what he would do about the love he felt. And who he felt it to.

“Patton, do you like Roman?” he hesitantly asked, unsure how he wanted him to answer.

“Well, of course I do, kiddo. I like Roman just as much as I like you and Logan and everyone else. He’s a part of this family, and so are you,” he said with a wide, if slightly stressed, smile.

“That’s not what I meant,” Virgil clarified. “I mean, do you like him? Like, the way he says he likes Logan right now? Do you have feelings for him?”

Patton looked like a deer in headlights, to the point that Virgil could practically see the blue-screen flash across his forehead. He blinked rapidly, wrapping his brain around the question.

“Well, no, not really. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever felt that kind of way towards anyone before, but I know I definitely don’t feel that way about Roman. Why are you asking me that?”

Virgil swallowed, processing what Patton had said. “Nothing, I was just curious I guess.”

He didn’t say anything after that, and Patton thankfully didn’t try to ask him about it either. If Patton didn’t like Roman back, then how would that change things? Surely Roman would eventually try to ask him out after he was cured, and when Patton rejected him he could be heartbroken. Virgil almost wanted to tell Roman now, when it wouldn’t hurt him that much, but it probably wasn’t the best time. He may not remember it after anyway. Maybe he’ll tell him later and hope for the best.

The credits finished rolling and Roman still hadn’t returned. It wasn’t too surprising, all things considered, since Roman had been practically vibrating in his seat without Logan around for him to stare at and compliment. He was probably bothering Logan right now and stopping him from getting anything done. It was best to get Roman away before he smothered him.

“I’m gonna go get Roman, you pick the next movie,” Virgil said as he headed back up the stairs. Patton nodded and started rifling through the DVDs, probably picking another cartoon.

Virgil finally reached Logan's door and knocked, not having to wait long before he heard a familiar and monotone “Come in” in response.

He opened the door and almost had to do a double take.

Roman had his back to the door, arms wrapped tightly around Logan in a warm and supporting hug. Logan was looking at Virgil from over his shoulder with a face of sheer exasperation, arms stiffly planted on Roman's back in a half-hearted attempt at a reciprocal embrace.

“Did you need something Virgil, or are you here for Roman?” he nonchalantly asked, as if he weren’t currently being held tightly by the romantic side.

“I, uh... I was coming to see why he was gone so long. I figured he might be distracting you from working,” he stuttered out, struggling to regain his bearings at the odd sight.

“Well, he has certainly occupied my attention for longer than I had hoped, though I doubt it could be helped. He seemed quite upset at being away from me for as long as he was. Another side effect of the potion, I’d gather,” he answered, finally untangling himself from Roman.

Roman let out a desperate whine at the loss of contact, looking back at Logan with a hurt expression. “I’m sorry, specs. I just couldn’t stand to be away from you for so long. Without you everything was just so dull and cold, I simply had to be around you again.”

“That’s very sweet, but I need to work. If you would prefer it, I can try to move some of my things to the living room and work there, but you will need to let me focus. Can you do that?”

Roman nodded eagerly in response.

“Good, then please go and get the common room set up for me downstairs and I will join you there shortly,” Logan said, and Roman practically tripped over his own feet as he headed back down the hall, glancing back at Logan and smiling the whole time.

Logan sighed and sat back down in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose. He really looked exhausted, and Virgil wondered whether he should stay or leave him be.

“The answer is no, by the way,” Logan groaned, not looking up at him.

“What?”

“No, I haven’t been able to find any cure or antidote to the potion. Remus may very well be trying to fool me, a figurative ‘wild goose chase’, if you will.”

Virgil tried not to look too worried, though he was sure it was obvious anyway. “Okay, do you think I can go and try to get some answers out of him? I could help out, maybe.”

Logan finally glanced up at him, a tired smile on his face. “I’d appreciate that, Virgil. As long as we can restore Roman to his natural, albeit obnoxious, state of mind.”

Virgil nodded, desperate to make this whole nightmare go away. It looked like Logan was feeling pretty fed up with this whole thing, too. Though it was probably for a different reason.

Logan sighed again, glancing away for a moment as if lost in thought. “I can’t exactly say I’ll enjoy that part of our lives returning to normal, though. As overbearing as he can be right now, it is still somewhat pleasant to hear him say something nice about me for a change. Even if he doesn’t really mean it or know what he’s saying at all.” He smiled to himself, as if he had forgotten that Virgil was still in the room with him. When he finally remembered that he wasn’t alone in the room, he straightened up in his chair and started to gather what he would need downstairs.

“It doesn’t really matter, anyway,” he added in a rush. “Roman is not in his right mind at the moment, it is best not to take anything he is saying seriously. He’s allowed to say or feel whatever he wants about me after we cure him. He’s his own person, with his own opinions on the people he’s around, and this will not change any of that.” He herded Virgil out of his room while he carried an armload of supplies and notes, carefully returning to the living room without dropping his things. “If you get any information out of Janus or Remus, let me know.” He called back at him as he left.

Virgil stayed there in the hall, taking in all that Logan had said. Had Roman really been upsetting him this whole time? Seeing him like this must be unreal to him, finally hearing a compliment from the person who teased him daily, only to know that the flattery was fake? He couldn’t imagine how badly that must hurt for him.

He shivered slightly to himself before going to Janus’ room. What happened between them still hurt years later, but he at least knew how to deal with him. He had dealt with him long enough to recognize the lies from the truth, and he needed answers.

He banged loudly on the door, not letting up until it was finally opened. By Remus, who was in the room with Janus. Great.

“Geez, Virge, the hell is your problem,” he whined. “Did someone swap the stick up your butt with a scorpion or something?”

Janus chuckled from behind him.

“The real question is what the hell is your problem,” he growled. “Why’d you go and do that to Roman, huh? Is this just some sick joke to you?”

“Well, yeah,” he answered, almost proud of himself. “I didn’t plan for it to be Roman that took the potion though, it was all random so whoever had some syrup first would get fucked up.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Virgil rolled his eyes. It was pretty clear he wouldn’t get a reason out of him. The best he could hope to get would be a cure, or the answer to how to make one.

“Can you just fucking tell me how to get him back to normal?” he pleaded, wincing at the pathetic begging he had reduced himself to. “There’s got to be a cure or antidote or something, and you have to tell me what it is so I can help clean up the mess you started.”

Remus stared right through him, smiling to himself as he kept the answer hidden.

“Alright, Remus, that’s enough,” Janus interrupted, finally joining them and including himself in the standoff. “If he wants the cure so badly, we’ll give it to him.”

Virgil’s shoulders sagged with relief. Maybe now Janus would actually be willing to cooperate and stop playing around with him.

“You see, Virgil, I know the true answer is something you’ll love, so here it is: the solution has been hiding in plain sight all along. It’s been kept secret by the only person who can help him. Show it to him and he’ll remember what the real target of his affection is supposed to be.”

Ok, so maybe not.

“What the hell does that mean?” Virgil groaned in frustration.

“You’ll have to figure it out on your own. After all, I think you already know the answer.”

Janus gave him one last smirk before closing the door on him, the sound of Remus’ laughter echoing from behind it. Well, that didn’t help him at all. What did he mean about it hiding in plain sight? Who was hiding it? And show what to who? Janus said he’d love the truth, but this was just another confusing riddle. It didn’t even make any sense. His best guess was that Remus had hidden an antidote somewhere, but if that was the case then there was no way he’d be able to find it.

God, Roman was screwed.

Virgil stomped back to the couch in a huff, not returning Patton’s friendly wave. He sat down and ran his hands through his hair, desperately trying to make sense of what Janus had said.

“I’m guessing you were unsuccessful,” Logan stated.

Virgil looked over to him and his reply died on his tongue in an instant. Logan was sitting in Roman’s lap, focusing on his findings ever so stoically while Roman held him close with a sappy expression.

“Uhm, not really… sorry, why are you in his lap?” he asked.

Logan looked up at him, no more pleased about the situation than Virgil was. “It was the only way to keep him happy while I focused on my work instead of him,” he explained.

“Hey, that’s not true,” Roman chimed in, squeezing Logan tighter. “I said that you were fine sitting where you were, but when you offered to get all cozy with me I wasn’t gonna complain.”

“Right, because you were complaining before,” Logan replied, “in fact, you were so upset that I wasn’t paying attention to you that you kept trying to sit closer to me until being in your lap like this was inevitable. At least now you’re letting me work uninterrupted.”

Roman looked like he was about to say something in his defense, but he decided against it. He quietly tucked his head into Logan's shoulder instead, humming at the contact.

Logan glanced back at Virgil, avoiding moving his head too much to not disrupt Roman. “Did either of them tell you anything useful?” he asked.

Virgil shook his head. “If he did, I can’t make any sense of it. It was something about the answer hiding in plain sight, and that the only one who’ll help him knows the secret. He said if we show it to him then he’ll remember what he really feels, or something like that.”

Logan sighed. “Well, that was hardly helpful.”

The rest of the day passed in a blur for Virgil. Roman was practically glued to Logan's side, flirting and cuddling with him every chance he got. Patton tried to pretend everything was normal, and Virgil kept replaying what Janus had told him. The cure is hidden away, and one of the sides knows how to use it to help. The only thing is, who the hell is it? Janus and Remus obviously weren’t helping, and Patton and Logan were just as in the dark about it as Virgil was.

“I thought the same thing,” he replied.

Patton made dinner and as everyone ate it became obvious that unless they did something about Roman he was going to be like this for a while. It took Logan moving to sit on the other end of the table for Roman to stop trying to do some Lady and the Tramp bit with him.

Logan had no solutions or cures yet, and Virgil still couldn’t figure out the answer to the riddle that Janus had told him. Janus and Remus decided to stick around after dinner and joined the others for a movie night, presumably just to laugh at how Roman was acting. Roman chased them off halfway through the movie, accusing them of antagonizing Logan. They were actually laughing at how Roman was behaving, but Virgil still appreciated having them gone for the night.

It was now well past time for Virgil to go to bed, but he couldn’t get himself to move from the couch. Everyone else had gone to bed by now, save for Logan and Roman, as the former had still wanted to find a solution and the latter refused to go to bed until he did. Roman was still pressed to Logan's side, idly playing with his hair while he continued to gaze fondly at him as if he had hung the stars in the night sky. Virgil wondered if he looked at Roman like that. He secretly wished Roman would look at him like that. Sometimes he almost thought he did.

It was probably best for him to go to bed before he thought about that too much. He wished the other two goodnight before heading to his room, where he would at least try to pretend to sleep. He closed the door behind him and prepared to wind down for the night when his eyes fell upon the gift Roman had given him. Lightning in a bottle, proof that Roman enjoyed his company.

Virgil stared at the bottle, memories of his time with Roman flashing back to him. Smiles only he would see, countless hours spent in each other’s company, presents and promises shared in private. Roman had shown him the same kindness and care that he is showing Logan now. The way he smiled at Logan was the same as how he smiled and laughed when he was alone with Virgil. The compliments and encouragement were just like the same sweet words they had shared.

That couldn’t be right, he had to be mistaken. That would mean that Roman actually…

He grabbed the bottle and sprinted back to the living room, back to Roman.

Logan looked up at him in surprise when he made it back downstairs, but Virgil didn’t give him a chance to say anything. He had to take care of this before he could overthink it.

“Logan, can you please give me a minute to talk to Roman? Alone?”

Logan quirked an eyebrow, before extricating himself from Roman and wordlessly making his way to bed for the night. Roman was about to follow him, but Logan motioned for him to stay behind. He obeyed, though he looked pained by doing so.

“Virgil, what’s going on?” he asked after Logan left. “Why’d you tell him to leave like that?”

“This is important, okay?” Virgil started. He had no idea what he was doing, or how to do it, but he had to try. He took a seat on the couch next to Roman and held out the bottle. “Do you remember what this is?” he asked.

Roman eyed it curiously, confusion slowly turning into recognition as his eyes brightened up at the memory. “Yeah, that’s right. You went and said you had better luck catching lightning in a bottle than finding someone who liked you, and I wanted to prove a point.”

“And what point was that?”

Roman blinked for a second as he tried to piece it together. “I remember how I wanted to show you that there are people out there that like being around you.”

“Like who?” he prodded, trying to get Roman to verbalize the answer he couldn’t bring himself to admit. “Roman, are you saying that this was because you like me?”

Roman furrowed his brow, as if struggling with some internal conflict. “I know I think highly of you, but it all feels hazy. I can’t put it to words right without losing what I was thinking about. Then I just start thinking of Logan again,” he said, a smile returning to his face at the name.

Virgil stared at him, pieces falling into place at last. “Roman, was it love? Is that what you felt for me? What you have been feeling for me?” he asked, voice stifled with emotion.

Roman looked lost as countless emotions dancing across his face. After a beat he finally answered, voice low. “I think so. It feels right, even though it’s still foggy. But I do think it was love.”

The butterflies returned to Virgil’s stomach with a vengeance, stealing his breath and choking him. He felt electrified and lightweight and breathless and alive all at once, leaving him little room left for rational thought. Roman loved him. He was in love with him.

“I’m in love with you too,” he managed to whisper, confessing it like it was a prayer.

All at once the potions foggy haze in Roman's eyes lifted, swiftly replaced by a hopeful disbelief. A grin slowly formed on his face, that same lovestruck look that he had given Logan in the kitchen. Only now it was being directed at Virgil.

“Virgil… you love me? You actually love me back?”

Virgil didn’t trust himself to speak, only nodding in confirmation.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that,” he said with a breathless laugh.

He pulled Virgil into a tight embrace, hugging him fiercely as Virgil felt his heart skip a beat. Roman loved him back, he loved him and the potion had been cured because of it.

For once Virgil felt completely optimistic, and he knew he wouldn’t be alone anymore.

@britt-ish123 @lio-the-chaotic-nonbeanie-weenie @keitaisghost @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nico-the-overlord @rougeside4 @new-zee-land @can-i-take-a-stab

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #my fic #i hope this is good

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