#armageddon programming

[officialurban]

🚨Armageddon Programming Explained (Short)

In our last two episodes we built on our introduction to spell casting. First, by examining the first half of JD Salinger’s one hit wonder book “the Catcher in the Rye.” While it is true that we could have picked more modern examples, it is actually more important to build a base of understanding since today we have fallen so far down Alice’s rabbit hole that we have actually reached the Emerald City of the Queen of Hearts! Today we live in pastiche. While most modern bimbos and numb nuts don’t realize it, we have actually reached the final stages of pastiche from which nothing but a dangerous douse of reality can free us.

[disk28]

[aettuddae]

business matter — chapter 70.

↳ synopsis: two of the most important kpop companies covet a partnership with a huge global brand, only to be surprised when the deal is extended to both labels. fearing potential sabotage and cynical strategies to secure exclusivity for just one of them, both CEOs resort to desperate measures. in a bid to maintain trust and prevent betrayal before the signing, they come up with a pact: forcing a fake relationship between the leaders of their star girlgroups. if one side attempted to fail the other, they threaten to expose it all to the conservative south korea.

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[written chapter]

[a/n: the reactions of the fans are not happening at the same time as the events written.]

a large team with cameras and employees of different categories were in a field not far from the city. from the makeup area where they also got their microphones to that piece of land where there used to be nothing, but now there was a recreational structure for the recording, it was about twenty minutes by car. the filming crew surrounded the cast of azza time!, which was meeting for another week to produce a new episode.

the celebrities were casually chatting about everyday topics and also conspiring about what today's maze could be, already accustomed after three years to the dynamics of the program in which the production devised confusingly ordered circuits in which there were different games as obstacles that required general knowledge, intelligence, and also physical skill.

serim often asked herself how she had ended up being part of this kind of program and not one where she could merely sit, eat and talk, as she knew there were many.

after waiting a moment, the director was heard throughout the set announcing that they would begin recording, so the regulars stood next to each other looking at the camera to start the program.

“so…” sejeong, who was standing next to serim, leaned even closer to her friend so that she could talk to her without anyone else hearing. “is she your girlfriend today or not?” she asked as she watched the guests approaching from a distance.

serim returned an annoyed look, causing sejeong to laugh with accomplishment. “they asked us to act friendly in front of the camera.”

“in that case, i hope she doesn't go into acting.” she commented, looking at karina, who showed irritation on her face.

they received the indication that they were already being filmed and then jaesuk, the main host of the program, began the presentation of the episode and gave way to a short exchange of words between the arranged cast, to finally introduce the guests.

“…they finally returned to azza time with their first full album, ‘armageddon’, aespa!” the four members entered the camera vision and were welcomed with applause from the mcs.

the group introduced themselves, as well as one by one, and then their new project, courtesy questions that are asked at the beginning of any variety show took some time, in which the leader of aespa did not deign to place her eyes even close to the position in which the leader of heaven was, as if they did not partially live together.

“serim-ah." jaesuk called, catching her attention. “you are an idol, are you close to the members of aespa?”

“well…” she turned to look at them, noticing that winter and ningning were holding back the urge to laugh, while giselle looked terrified at the possible answer to that question, and karina had her eyes on the ground. “we have recently promoted together, as you know,” she recalled. “we are co-workers, we can still become closer." she replied, careful with her words.

“didn't you exchange contacts after the episode they appeared in before?” another member, jukjae, chimed in, surprised that they weren't close.

“to be honest, i don't really remember that episode.” serim's answer caused her mates to laugh.

“that sounds like serim.” sejeong accepted.

“from among them,” the star of the conversation pointed to the guests with her hand. “karina and i…” the aforementioned raised her head quickly to look at her seriously, causing serim to smile sideways, smug. “we are the closest.” she adverted, turning her gaze from the girl to her work friends.

the others started talking over each other asking questions, after all, they were quite close since they recorded together every week and even met after when they could, but it wasn't enough to know who was in their inner circles, so they were fascinated by the new information of a possible friendship between their beloved serim and another of the most popular idols in the country.

“karina and i,” this time she spoke to the camera, possibly because she was disturbed by the furious gaze of the blackhaired woman who was staring at her. “we met through what she describes as…” she gave a sigh and thought for a second. “a business matter.” she nodded her head, affirming the memory of jimin using that term. “we've spent a lot of time together” she added. "at work." she commented, creating even more tension than there already was between her and the guest, but seeming like an ordinary anecdote to those who had no idea of ​​the context behind it.

“i can't believe we're on the same team again." sejeong complained to serim as both of them, part of the red team, entered the maze prepared for that day.

the azza time labyrinths were artificially assembled sets that were easy to dismantle, but they needed large spaces to be settled up in, which is why the episodes were always recorded in open fields or large spaces such as baseball stadiums or sports courts. they were generally themed based on what the guests were promoting, and in this case, the topic was an alien invasion.

the dynamics of the program is that the participants are divided into two randomly chosen groups that have to explore the map until they find the exit, completing missions, playing games or passing obstacles along the way, and once reached the end they cannot win without a certain number of these carried out.

“it's destiny trying to tell us something.” she brought her hand to her chest acting in love with her.

“serim, could you behave?” the oldest punched her shoulder in frustration. “karina is right there." she joked, without having the latest news on the relationship between these two.

ningning turned to look horrified at the brunette, then at her leader to capture her reaction, but she just, very poorly, pretended she didn't hear, while serim swallowed hard and opened her eyes wide as if she were trying to tell her friend to shut up with them, although she didn't see it since with her competitive spirit she had taken the lead in the team. even so, the atmosphere did not become uncomfortable since the other two members of the cast did laugh at the joke, although they may not have understood it very well.

without giving time for there to be any type of interaction between the two leaders because of that comment, a sharp shout from sejeong was heard, and as a result, the two members of aespa who were on the team reacted the same out of inertia. when they turned a corner they ran into an actor in an alien costume, and once everyone saw what it was that had scared the woman, they simply burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation. once they grew normal with it, serim approached the boy and took a letter that he had in his hand to open it so she could read what it said.

unconsciously, due to her restless, game-loving and impatient nature, jimin pressed her body against the older girl's, trying to grasp the instructions to start the mission as quickly as possible, wrapping her touch around the other's upper arm and leaving her cheek only a tilt of her head from jang's skin. but serim loves being right, in addition to being in control of every scenario, and considering the grudge and annoyance she held against jimin at that moment for the attitude she had adopted that they were complete strangers, she couldn't help but notice the girl's closeness, nor contain the victorious smile that appeared on her face, creating a pedantic and arrogant aura, which only unfolded with karina abruptly breaking apart from her side in madness.

“let's see if i understood." dongyeon spoke after hearing the explanation. “he" pointed to the alien. “is going to sing in an extraterrestrial language and we have to guess what song it is?”

"exactly." assured ningning funnily before the mini-game.

they prepared to carry out the activity, sitting on some stools that the production prepared for them and paying attention to the man when he began his part, failing in some, but eventually getting four of the five songs right that they needed to complete that point of the race.

everyone was waiting for the next melody, leaning on the edge of their seats, ready to shout the answer. the boy awkwardly started humming something after receiving the name and the show's stars took a moment to guess what it was.

“ah!” serim exclaimed after identifying the sound, feeling a tap on her shoulder from one, very passionate about the game, jimin, who seemed to have also deciphered it and wanted to communicate it to someone in some way. “snsd!” she shouted, upset.

“party!” yu finished.

for just a second everything was silent, but the moment it was confirmed that it was the correct answer, they both squealed happily. the song began to play through the speakers so they could complete the next part, which was to dance and sing it, to which they both got up running. serim got to the center faster, but she has always been terrible at remembering choreographies, so she stayed static, although not for long because as soon as karina caught up with her, she pushed her out of the shot and started performing impeccably.

upon seeing the youngest, the vocalist remembered the steps and returned to her position, covering her work mate in front of the camera lens and continuing with the dance. however, this one approached quickly and she used the full weight of her body to rush at the girl who had interrupted her, quickly returning to the middle to continue from where she had left off. jang stopped to look at her in disbelief, but quickly regained her determination and approached with wide steps to wrap her arms around her waist and lift her off the ground, carrying her back through the air to leave her behind, going back to the center to finish the challenge by herself.

“girls, remember that you can dance together, we are all one team.” tried to intervene jaesuk from his seat, although in any case, all the spectators found the leaders' tom and jerry act entertaining and funny.

but no one listened to the man and the main dancer once again gained the spotlight by pulling the older's shirt until she was off camera, ending in serim running back towards her and grabbing her by the torso again, but this time maintaining her grip, no longer trying to dance, but to prevent the girl from achieving what she wanted.

"let go!" perhaps because of the distraction of wanting to win, she didn't give that order with bitterness, but rather charged with the emotion of a child who wants to continue playing.

“no! it's my favorite group, i have to answer!" she refused, still having her captured in her embrace.

“it's my favorite group too, nam…” she realized. “serim." she retracted herself, trying to get free.

“it can't be because you and i would never have anything in common.” she contradicted.

“i liked snsd before you did!” seeing that she couldn't get out of the woman's arms, she changed her strategy and began to try to throw her to the ground.

“how would you know when i started liking snsd?” she struggled to maintain balance.

"intuition!" she responded simply as she finally managed, after kicking serim's foot and causing her to lose balance when it lifted suddenly, to get her to fall off. although perhaps she didn't expect the vocalist to take her down too.

“they both got the point for the team.” someone from the staff announced. they hadn't even noticed that the song was no longer playing.

"that's not fair!" from the ground, jimin pointed accusingly her index at the person who said that, with her back against serim's front and still in her hold, still too blinded by her desire for victory to notice what position she found herself in.

"i don't believe you!" serim continued.

“it is possible, we are playing as a team.” interrupted sejeong, appearing in their field of vision above them. "get up please."

after several hours of recording, the red team was on the fifth mission, and this was one of those that required physical dexterity. before them stood a platform that swayed, decorated as if it were a spaceship. in the middle of it, there was nothing more than a tube that connected from the floor under the machine to the ceiling of the place, which had various steps that wrapped around it, and a little higher hung a series of figures in moons, stars, hearts, and butterflies of different colors. on the sides of the wobbly stage were two baskets.

the game consisted of reaching the required figures and placing them in the containers without anyone falling off that surface that kept rotating and moving up and down. those in charge of climbing to reach the emblems were ningning and dongyeon, while jaesuk and sejeong were the ones who had to throw them into the barrels trying to fill them, and karina together with serim worked as hinges, holding the previous two so that they do not fall, but also ensuring that those who climbed didn't either.

the figures were very high, so the hosts really had to work hard to reach them, but dongyeon managed to get a pink star, as requested in the game instructions, and went down to pass it to serim who would get it to sejeong. but as soon as the last one stretched out to try to throw the object where it had to enter, as it was her first attempt, she lost her balance and also the support she had in serim's hand, almost falling into the water that was under them. fortunately, her friend, with speed and agility, released her grip on the tube, taking advantage of the fleeting moment in which the platform was tilted on the opposite side, but elevated on hers, she approached kim, hugged her against her body, and returned to hold on just in time so they wouldn't be propelled out of the game.

on the other side, ningning already had a green moon in her hand, but she was still on the iron bars that functioned as steps. it was difficult for her to go down because of the movement, leaning on her leader so that she could tell her when it would be appropriate to step. but the blackhaired woman had her eyes distracted by serim and how she was hugging sejeong, which is why she was not paying attention to her maknae when she tried to get down just at the moment when the ground rose on their side, causing the girl's foot to suddenly rose and with it the rest of her body that was still over the metals that formed a staircase, leaving her hand trapped in the one it was wrapped and causing her thumb to bend unnaturally as she did not adapt to the abrupt change in position. the youngest girl's scream echoed throughout the place, accompanied by her body falling on top of her bandmate as she released her grip because of the pain.

upon hearing her, the game stopped and the production, as well as the group's staff, came to help her without delay. taking her off the set to the car they had arrived in so she could be checked by a doctor, followed by karina, while the others were notified. everyone gathered outside to deliberate about what had happened and wait for answers about whether they could continue recording, while the members of aespa gathered around the car with their manager and others to see how serious the maknae's injury had been.

after a moment, when she saw the emergency staff leaving, serim decided to approach the girls.

“hey, ning, how are you?” she gave her a kind smile.

"fine." she assured her, she didn't look distressed. “it's a sprain, but it's not serious, in a few days it will heal.” she raised her hand to show it. “they only gave me this.” a splint held the injured finger in place, wrapped with some bandages to support it.

"i'm happy to hear you're well." she walked over to lie against the truck next to the opening where ningning was. "but what happened?" she put her palm on the girl's leg, which made her nervous and so begin to mix up her words when trying to explain, without getting her to understand.

"it was my fault." karina interrupted, gaining the attention. “i should have been attentive to help her get down, but i wasn't.” she explained.

“no, it wasn't anyone's fault.” ningning denied. “my finger got caught in the tube, no one would have imagined that would happen.” she clarified.

“either way, it was my role to prevent something like that from happening.” yu repeated.

“you seem to have a tendency to lose control of things.” serim observed, her tone slightly hostile to her.

"what do you mean by that?" she furrowed her eyebrows and looked at her with annoyance.

“whatever you want to understand.” she shrugged her shoulders. “ning, have they already told you if you will be able to continue recording? maybe you should rest.” she turned to see the named one.

“serim, i think i already told you more than once, but you don't know me enough to make assumptions about me.” she warned irritably.

“don't you get tired of repeating the same things over and over again?” jang turned her gaze to her in distaste. “even jesus rested.”

“i wouldn't have to keep repeating the same thing if you would just stop acting so immature.” karina defended herself.

“i'm done talking to you.” serim cut off her words.

“how can you be so unbearable?” she took a few steps to get closer to her.

“that question is too personal, i'm sorry, i thought you didn't want to know anything about me.” she pushed herself from the vehicle and faced her.

“can you two not fight? ningning almost ripped off her finger…” giselle tried to stop them.

“is all the resentful attitude you've had today is because i rejected you?” she crossed her arms. “poor little serim, finally a woman says no to her.” she hummed mockingly.

“what resentful attitude are you even talking about?” she inquired unperturbed.

“your constant laughing, looks and comments with double meanings.” she recounted. “that speech of yours about how we met that you gave at the beginning, was it necessary?” jimin was furious.

“i was just repeating what you told me.” she argued with an innocent tone. “and for someone who doesn't want to know anything about me, i noticed that you were very aware of what i do all day.” she tilted her head, looking at her expectantly.

“how can i not notice the stuff you do if you are over me all the time hoping that i do something you can hold against me?” she exclaimed, raising her voice.

“did i force you to do those things that i ended up rubbing to your face?” she responded, turning up the volume of her sentences.

“i didn't do anything to you all day!”

“aside from letting your groupmate get injured because you were too focused on what i was up to?” she exclaimed exasperatedly. “or did you really think i didn't catch you staring?” she spoke normally again, but still with anger.

“fuck you, serim.” she said angrily and turned around to leave.

“fuck me yourself!” she shouted loudly for karina to hear as she walked away from her.

[cordspaghetti]

*Dr. Bronner’s voice* the parade ravages the body of the patient! he is filled to the brim with joyous uproar! his father turns to face him to ask that damning question and the sentence is stopped by a protrusion of implacable tissue that multiplies gleefully and sings with a thousand voices the praises of programmed necrosis and armageddon!

[arcadiabaytornado]

Concept: The idea of Max and Chloe becoming a ghost story after Arcadia Bay is destroyed

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There was a storm that destroyed Arcadia Bay."

"The few that survived said it washed over them in a wave of death. There was no time to run. Or hide. And their screams and prayers were drowned out the roaring rush of wind. All there was, was the cold sting of rain, and two girl's standing on the cliff's edge."

"The account's of this are always contested. Many atmospheric scientists and research meteorologists agree that no one could survived Armageddon by staring in the face of it."

"Yet, no bodies were ever found near the cliffs. And the people who survived the storm swear that two distant figures watched the town from up high."

"Some say they were harbingers of death that wrought a wave of destruction with a gleeful grim. Some say they were angels meant to usher in the sun. Some say they were just innocent bystander's who were in the right place at the right time."

More Undercut

"But what people always say is that the figures were connected, holding hands even as they faced the world ending around them."

"Experts in lore and local legends agree that it is odd for the survivors testimony to stay so....consistent. While they acknowledge the wind and rain would obscure sight to the point a tree could easily warp into a figures, it is odd the amount of stories that stim from the ruins of a disaster no one has been able to explain."

"Maybe that's all it is, a story told by people who would rather accept a mystery than a tragedy. But one thing's for sure: We will never know what happened in Arcadia Bay on that fateful October day, or if there were two figures holding hands as a town was swallowed whole. This has been your host, John Doe on "Mysteries Of The Unexplained."

...........................................................................................................................

Max turns off the motel tv off with a sigh, knowing she shouldn't have watched that but also knowing that she couldn't look away. She looks to Chloe asleep beside her and is nothing but grateful that she didn't have to see the program. Even if that mean's she has to come to terms with being a ghost story alone.

There's no mystery to her as to what happened that day.

There was a storm that destroyed Arcadia Bay.

And she is the ghost who watched it.

[homestuckreplay]

Week 1 Retrospective: Who Is John Egbert?

It’s official - Homestuck is one week old today! And while a week is not a long run for a comic, it’s already got more pages than the author’s earlier work Bard Quest, so maybe it’s something worth recognizing. So I wanted to mark a week of Homestuck by doing a deep dive on what we’ve learned about our protagonist John Egbert so far. It’s some fact collection, some wild speculation, and some ongoing questions. It’s over 3000 words, so it’s under a readmore for anyone who’s interested.

If that doesn’t sound like a fun time to you (or even if it does), you can take the John Egbert Big 5 Personality Test to see how you score on John’s five key personality traits. It’s 14 multiple choice questions, so a much quicker read.

We’re introduced to John on page 4, where we’re given five key interests of his: bad movies, programming computers, paranormal lore, amateur magic, and gaming. I’ll take these one by one and use them as a framework for John’s character so far.

“You have a passion for REALLY TERRIBLE MOVIES.”

John has eleven (11) movie posters on his walls. Of these, three star Matthew McConaughey and two star Nicolas Cage. More notably, six have a Rotten Tomatoes rating below 50%, and two of these are below 10%. I haven’t seen any of these movies, but as far as I can tell, here are the one sentence summaries [broad spoilers for all these movies].

Little Monsters: A boy befriends a monster and visits the monster world, where they try to convert him into a monster too.

Con Air: A paroled man disrupts a gang of prisoner’s escape from a prison transport plane.

Deep Impact: Earth tries to prepare for extinction after a comet is found on a collision course with Earth.

Ghostbusters II: After going out of business, the Ghostbusters reunite to combat a negative energy slime monster.

Mac and Me: A boy befriends a young alien who gets separated from his family and lost on Earth.

Contact: An Earth scientist successfully discovers alien life and travels to an alien world.

A Time to Kill: A father is acquitted in court for killing the perpetrators of racial hate crimes against his daughter.

Failure to Launch: A 35 year old man’s parents hire a woman to persuade him to finally move out of their home.

Face/Off: A terrorist and a FBI agent go through facial transplant surgery and temporarily swap identities.

Armageddon: A group of space workmen go on a mission to stop an asteroid from destroying Earth. 

Ghost Dad: A man temporarily dies but is able to interact with his children in ghost form.

From this we can see that John really likes science fiction movies related to aliens, ghosts and monsters, as well as action comedy. We also know from page 21: ‘Films about impending apocalypse fascinate you’. A Time to Kill and Failure to Launch are the only ones that don’t fit his taste. The implication here is that John really loved Matthew McConaughey in Contact and so watched his other movies even though they were things he wouldn’t usually watch.

I’m curious if these movies are intended as clues to John’s character, the future of the comic, or both. In terms of his character, they make me see him as someone who’s imaginative and goofy, young and carefree, not concerned with other people’s opinions, more interested in watching movies for their surface meanings and exciting stories, maybe wants to escape to a different world, might be a little bit gay. 

In terms of the future of the comic, it could be that we’re going to see literal aliens or monsters - they could even be already here, keeping John ‘homestuck’. Slime monsters are particularly highlighted, with Slimer from Ghostbusters appearing on John’s shirt and computer background, and his chumhandle, ectoBiologist, relating to slime. Slime invasion honestly feels too obvious, and anyway, several of John’s movies are about befriending a more benign supernatural force - could John’s Pesterchum friends be something other than human? Or maybe it’s a more metaphorical meaning, referring to John having a very different life to his friends? 

Two of these movies feature Earth extinctions by giant space rocks, but there’s absolutely no indication of this being a real world threat John is dealing with. Again, it could refer more generally to a sudden, life changing event that’s about to happen to disrupt John’s current state, something that would fit thematically with this being John’s 13th birthday, a milestone age.

There’s also a theme of crime and the legal system in several movies, including Con Air, the one that’s been most highlighted. The most obvious interpretation of John’s dad right now is that he’s a clown or performer, but there’s an outside chance he could be in law enforcement, or a criminal. It’s even possible that he’s currently in hiding or some kind of safe house. This would explain John being ‘homestuck’ and sick of spending time with his dad.

Speaking of John’s dad, I’m concerned for him based on the Ghost Dad summary - the comic keeps teasing his presence, but we haven’t actually seen him yet. Could he be a ghost? Or become one at some point? Alternatively, we know John has an already dead relative - could his nanna be a ghost? Did John dropping her ashes release her ghost? Family is a really common theme in movies, so I don’t know if a large number of these movies being about family (especially fathers) is relevant, but I’m noting it all the same.

“You like to program computers but you are NOT VERY GOOD AT IT.”

John claims he ‘likes to program’, but it actually seems to make him angry. We first learn ‘[y]ou were never all that great with data structures and you find the concept [of the stack modus] puzzling and mildly irritating.’ We then see three files on John’s desktop, two in ^CAKE - ‘pff.^CAKE’ and ‘FUCK FUCK FUCK.^CAKE’ and one in ~ATH - ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.~ATH’. These tell a clear narrative of John trying to work on his programming and getting increasingly more frustrated with his attempts, until inevitably giving up. Both of the programming languages are puns, too. ^ is often called a carat (carrot cake) while ~ is a tilde (til death). 

I know this is wild speculation, but… John started off coding in a harmless programming language, was already struggling, then for some reason switched over to the most ominous possible sounding language, screwed it up even worse, and now… he’s constantly haunted by the ghost of failed programming attempts in the form of his sylladex, which he appears to be new to using (he had no prior understanding of it on page 7 - although this could be handwaved due to video game tutorial logic), and which operates similarly to a computer program and seems to cause John endless frustration. He’ll have to figure out how to exploit the inventory system in ways that help him, which involves actually figuring out some stuff about coding, in order to partake in some real life ghostbusting, or monster hunting, or dealing with whatever threat he’ll have to deal with by using inventory hacks.

“You have a fondness for PARANORMAL LORE,” (...)

By far the interest of John’s that we’ve seen the least of so far, John’s love of the paranormal is mostly inferred through his movie preferences, and we don’t see any direct evidence of an interest in lore. However, I can’t stop fixating on John’s chumhandle: ectoBiologist. The comic’s first act was to draw attention to giving John a name, and for many 2009 kids, the names they go by online are more meaningful and representative of them than their real world names. 

‘ecto-’ means ‘outer, outside, external’ according to dictionary.com, and it’s actually a common prefix in a variety of fields of biology, but there’s no such thing as ‘ectobiology’ as a field, or an ‘ectobiologist’ - neither term has any search results prior to Homestuck. I think it’s way more likely that this refers to ectoplasm, a term from both cell biology and spiritualism that was popularized by Ghostbusters to mean any substance secreted by a ghost, in practice often manifesting as green slime. Slimer, who we can guess is John’s favorite, is a benign ghost made of pure ectoplasm. I love the idea that John loves this dumb ghost so much that he’s memorized all the lore about them in their appearances throughout the franchise, and devised this username based on being an expert on these ghosts right down to their biology (or at least thinking he is). 

The only catch is, ‘fondness for paranormal lore’ is very passive and doesn’t even imply much knowledge, much less action, while ‘biologist’ implies that John has been doing actual experiments. The idea of John trying to create a real life Slimer the same way other kids make slime in their kitchens is really entertaining, if an off the wall theory. Does ‘homestuck’ just mean John is grounded for an unethical science project? 

(...) “and are an aspiring AMATEUR MAGICIAN.”

The magic chest is one of the biggest, most eye catching and most colorful objects in John’s room. We see its contents on page 8, which lean more into joke store items than things a magician might use, except for the trick handcuffs and perhaps the collapsible sword. The narration on this page states that John is neither a skilled magician nor a cunning prankster. I’m nitpicking definitions here, but everything John has done so far has been way more about pranks than about magic. 

John’s uses of the magic chest to date are…

various putting things into his inventory and removing them (funny, but unintentionally)

combining fake arms with cake (p.36) out of necessity, which ‘makes the cake at least 300% more hilarious’

merging hat with beagle puss to create a clever disguise (p.45) and wearing it for 25+ pages, which he acknowledges is a ‘shitty disguise’

attaching fake arms to harlequin doll (p.65), which makes it ‘AT LEAST a million percent funnier’

All of which are definitely not magic tricks, and honestly not even pranks. Arguably John’s best and most successful prank so far has been when he pretended not to have arms for the first six pages, before revealing his arms after the interface had gone to the trouble of moving the cake off his magic chest to get him some arms.

John keeps thinking about reading Colonel Sassacre’s Guide to Magical Frivolity and Practical Japery, but always finding some excuse not to. He can’t read it until he captchalogues it, but once he does that, it gets buried in his inventory. He assumes that the book can tell him the exact percentage increase of hilarity a prank leads to, but it’s too big for him to actually look anything up. 

An outside theory for this that I don’t think is likely simply because it’s so much darker than the comic has been so far, is that John loves this book, but since the incident where his nanna was killed by a copy (perhaps even this copy?) he hasn’t been able to bring himself to read it. A far more likely theory is that while John is an aspiring amateur magician, it’s more of a big idea, and he hasn’t actually done any magic yet. This also tracks with his weaksauce pranks above. And if that’s true, then it says a lot about John that he defines himself by a hobby he aspires to but doesn’t actually practice - he’s someone with big dreams and less motivation, just like his big dream of going to collect the mail from his father despite the lack of motivation that’s kept him messing around for 70 pages. 

“You also like to play GAMES sometimes.”

Potentially most important of all is Gamer John. We get a list of games John likes to play from inspecting his CD tower the same way we get a list of movies from looking at his posters. 

Bard Quest

The Caper Havers

Problem Sleuth

And It Don’t Stop

What Pumpkin?

Ghostbusters II MMORPG

Little Monsters (for Nintendo)

Harry Anderson: Call My Bluff!

The first five games all reference previous work by the author of Homestuck, and as such probably don’t need in depth analysis. However, the fact that within the world of Homestuck, these are all games (instead of comics) is one of several suggestions that we should think of Homestuck as a game, something that needs further analysis. 

The next two games are video game adaptations of movies we know John likes, and the last is a branded video game from Harry Anderson, whose book we’ve already seen in John’s magic chest. Notably, none of these are real video games in our world either. It says a lot that John plays game versions of things he already likes (he’s put ‘countless manhours’ into this assortment of quality titles). 

However, it’s undeniable that the most important game in John’s life right now is Sburb. The poster is behind his head in the first panel, placed centrally with one of the only two splashes of color in the panel. The beta release is the only thing marked on his calendar for April besides his birthday, and the Sburb logo is even the picture printed on the calendar - perhaps it’s a calendar themed around new game releases? There’s clear delight on John’s face when he thinks about getting the beta, and his quest to fetch it from the recently delivered mail is the closest thing to a story this comic has so far.

Unfortunately, we know almost nothing about Sburb, so we don’t know what it says about John that he wants to play it. It’s publicized as the Game of the Year, and according to GameBro, the game may be about houses and the player may not get to thrash anything, although these details are provided by someone who hasn’t played the game so I’m not taking them as expert opinion. It might be multiplayer - TT has been pestering TG all day about playing it with her. Maybe John just wants to share a game with his friends.

Speaking of GameBro, John can’t stand the magazine, although he for some reason has a copy on his desk. He describes the publication as ‘a joke’ to TG, and he makes the effort to take it downstairs to the fire and burn it, presumably releasing asbestos fibers into the house and causing serious lung damage to himself and his father. Does he read this because it’s the only games magazine that exists? Or did he like it just fine until now, when it trashed the game he’s excited about, and now he’s furious with it? Either way, it tracks with John’s overall fondness for critically panned media that he would be angry about contrarian critics. 

–

All of this has left me with a few questions about John as our main character. These are the things that I’m keeping an eye on and trying to answer as the story continues.

What is John good at?

We hear so much about what John is bad at. He’s explicitly stated to be bad at programming, pranks, and magic. He’s bad at using his sylladex. He’s clumsy and knocked over his nanna’s ashes. He’s got bad taste in media. He’s funny but only when he doesn’t try to be, and even then he’s sometimes the butt of the joke, where the joke is how not funny John’s joke is. He was tempted to squawk like an imbecile and shit on his desk. He has like six different prankster props and he doesn’t even use all of them. I’m saying all this with love and kindness because he also just seems like such a sweet kid, but so far he doesn’t have any defined strengths or skills. 

Is he going to turn out to be really good at gaming and kick ass at Sburb? Are we going to get a curveball where it turns out John is an amazing baker, and he hates the cakes in his room and the smell of Betty Crocker because he can do so much better than that packet mix? Or is he starting off from this low point so he can develop skills as time goes on?

What is John’s relationship with his dad really like?

John doesn’t want his dad to monopolize his time and feels trapped in his room, despite his dad baking cakes and leaving notes on gifts telling John he’s proud of him. John’s dad gets his son one great present that John’s really appreciative of, and one terrible present that John immediately hates. All of this feels very reasonable and normal for a teen feeling misunderstood by a parent who’s trying their best. 

And then there’s the clowns.

John can excuse magical frivolity and practical japery, but he draws the line at harlequins. He’s an aspiring magician, but his dad’s figurines are ‘fucking garbage’ and his dad ‘sure can be a real cornball’. John seems like somebody who gets angry at ultimately unimportant things, like bad reviews of games, too many cakes, and harlequin figurines, but because of the subject matter it reads like an intense rivalry between two highly specific subcultures that outsiders would group together. John is really making a huge deal of needing to disguise himself and mentally prepare himself to go down and face his dad, and I want to know if there’s any genuine reason behind John’s fear, or if it’s solely the overdramatics I’m starting to think are typical of him.

Is John ‘Homestuck’?

‘Sometimes you feel like you are trapped in this room. Stuck, if you will, in a sense which possibly borders on the titular.’ (p.30)

John clearly feels like he’s stuck at home, but is this the extent of the title’s meaning? His dad has recently returned from getting groceries, so leaving the house is in theory possible. Reasons why John might be homestuck include: he’s not allowed to leave the house (for example, he’s grounded, or his dad is very controlling), he can leave the house but there’s nowhere to go (he lives near major roads, bodies of water, farms, or other obstacles, and there’s no public transport to get anywhere), or he can leave the house but it’s not safe to do so (there’s some sort of external threat, either supernatural like a monster or alien invasion, or mundane like a criminal or bomb threat). Seeing out of John’s window and into his front yard does not provide any clues; it looks like an extremely average front yard with a tree, swing and mailbox, and we know the mail was recently delivered, so there can’t be anything too world-ending happening in the neighborhood. Right now John’s goal (the Sburb Beta disc) is inside the house, so this might not get answered right away - in fact, my running theory is that the game itself might hold the answers, as its logo is a house.

What’s the differentiation between John and the narrator?

My biggest question of all, and one that probably deserves its own essay. I’m fascinated by the lines ‘In a kid's yard, a tree without a tire swing is like a proper gentleman without a monocle.’ (p.27) and ‘In a home, a FIREPLACE needs a fire, because that's what FIREPLACE is for.’ (p.50). These lines carry so much opinion, but because the narrator is constantly addressing John with the second person ‘you’, I don’t think these are John’s opinions. The narrator does have a window into John’s thoughts, so the line between them can be blurred, but there's clearly a distinction somewhere, because there have been pushbacks and disagreements between the two of them. 

One theory is that John’s dad is the narrator - John’s at home a lot for whatever reason, and so the constant and overbearing presence of his dad means that he can’t get him out of his head even when he’s alone, the commands at the top of each page reflecting John’s dad’s level of control over his son’s life. But I think this question is open ended enough that I’m not willing to commit to one theory yet. After all, we ‘examine 3rd and 4th walls of [John’s] room’ which is a directly meta allusion to the comic’s audience that only really makes sense if the narrator isn’t a character in the comic itself. 

–

I think John Egbert has been really well characterized so far. He feels like a real kid, one who keeps getting off track and forgetting what he should be doing, but one who it’s enough fun to get to know that I don’t really notice. While the main character in media often doesn’t end up being the most interesting character, I do want to keep an eye on John because I think he has a lot going on to analyze. Above the style and the world and the mechanics, John as a character is the aspect of the comic I’m most interested in right now.

[mrghostrat]

some of my favourite good omens fics for @lostscript!

this got so long oh my god. i have to stop, but this is only like 2 pages of my bookmarks, in no particular order. i'll have to make another post eventually, or at least start organising my bookmarks on ao3 to rec things more easily. for now, please enjoy this tasty mix of human aus + angel/demon pining.

First Class (Hons) Christmas, University of Tadfield by heloluv

M • 41k • human AU (professors) this fic is like stepping into a beautiful, cosy, classic, high quality christmas movie. crowley and aziraphale are professors at Tadfield University, and they meet for the first time when aziraphale starts organising the yearly christmas fundraiser. "A Christmas and New Years fic, in which Aziraphale teaches Crowley how to enjoy the most wonderful time of the year."

What We Make Of It (Shotgun Wedding) by charlottemadison

E • 213k • human AU (teacher/guardian) the flow of their growing relationship in this fic is so unique and incredibly written, it seizes my heart on every reread. aziraphale is a high school english teacher, adam is his narcoleptic student, and crowley is adam's uncle/legal guardian. due to crowley's work, he cannot date a teacher, for risk of losing his job and the health insurance that covers adam's condition. but he can, technically, marry one.

Something We Were Withholding Made Us Weak by triedunture

M • 14k • angel/demon (south downs) where pre-relationship aziraphale and crowley retire and move to the south downs cottage before ever talking about their feelings, and come together as they learn to live in tandem.

the bucket list by darcylindbergh

E • 44k • angel/demon (south downs) technically still a wip, but it's been left at a satisfying, conclusive point. after armageddon, pre-relationship crowley and aziraphale decide to work through a list of human activities they haven't done before. they go travelling and dining together, try out hobbies, and end up in a south downs cottage. communication angst as they try to work out what they want from life, and each other.

Of burnt books and courting Crowley by robynvite

E • 11k • angel/demon (post s1) "a year after Armageddon't, Aziraphale finds out two pieces of very startling news: One, Newt and Anathema burned the sequel to Agnes Nutter's Nice and Accurate Prophecies. Two, Crowley was in love with him, and had been since the Beginning." aziraphale attempts to court crowley when he finds out crowley loves him.

Slow Show by mia_ugly

E • 95k • human AU (actors) "two ineffable co-stars only take four seasons of an award-winning television program to realize they’re on their own side." crowley is a washed up PR nightmare and aziraphale is in the closet, married to a beard. crowley is in love with him, and aziraphale falls over the course of the show.

South Downs by summerofspock

E • 76k • human AU (actors) this time, aziraphale is out and proud, whilst crowley needs some help figuring it out. "Blackballed from the industry ten years ago, Anthony Crowley jumps at the chance to star in a new Regency romance miniseries with well-known gay actor Aziraphale Fell in the hopes that it will help him restart his career. The trouble is, Crowley has played all sorts of characters and for the life of him, he can't figure out why he's struggling to play the romantic lead opposite a man."

Not a Mounted Dildo but a Fuck Machine by NaroMoreau, summerofspock

E • 35k • human AU (roommates) "When Aziraphale meets a nice girl on Tinder who he thinks is his perfect match, he's delighted. There's just one hurdle: that pesky virginity thing. Lucky for him, Crowley has always been there for him. He's helped Aziraphale with every other problem through the years, why not this one?"

Intermezzo by FeralTuxedo

E • 47k • human AU (musician/journalist) Music critic Aziraphale Fell is trying to break into the world of television, when he is signed to make a documentary about former-rockstar-turned-composer Anthony Crowley. It’s been eleven years since Aziraphale’s disastrous review of Crowley’s debut opera nipped his classical music career in the bud. He can only hope that Crowley will get over his admittedly justified grudge to make the TV show a success.

side note: i officially love everything feraltuxedo has ever written. their library is a slew of human AUs in all kinds of settings with varying wordcounts. they are a GIFT

Joint Honours by FeralTuxedo

E • 43k • human AU (university students) aziraphale (phd) and crowley (undergrad) live in the same student share house. they get involved before they realise crowley is a student in aziraphale's seminars. spicy drama of them trying to keep their relationship hidden + aziraphale getting his work plagarised

it's a new craze by attheborder

T • 5k • angel/demon (post armageddon) aziraphale and crowley start an advice podcast. dialogue only, with comments from listeners speculating about their relationship and potential immortality

Petrichor & Parchment by MrsNoggin

E • 33k • human AU (gardener crowley) aziraphale, a restorer of antique books, moves to a cottage in tadfield. the garden is a mess. he hires a local landscaper to sort it out. aziraphale takes his work outside and ogles.

The 21st Century, In Which They Finally Work It Out by chaya

E • 22k • angel/demon (post armageddon) crowley tries furthering their relationship after armageddon. he has to go extremely slowly so as not to spook aziraphale, but eventually they find themselves on romantic weekend getaway, in a lodge under the northern lights.

Waking Up Slow by the_moonmoth

E • 88k • human AU (lockdown roommates) aziraphale and crowley are strangers who have to quarantine together in aziraphale's cottage. exquisitely romantic mutual pining over the course of two weeks, with cosy fireplace cuddling, walking around in towel, and strip poker.

Have you told him by cyankelpie

G • 7k • angel/demon (through the ages) aziraphale can sense love, and can tell crowley is deep in it. he can only assume he's fallen for a human. again, and again, and again, and again.

The Bizarre Demons of AZ Fell & Co Antique Booksellers by WorseOmens

T • 8k • angel/demon (buzzfeed unsolved crossover) a fuckin hilarious crossover fic presented as an episode of buzzfeed unsolved, where the ghoul boys visit the bookshop and commune with crowley through a spirit box

[bagofmice]

I prayed i'd meet You again, but why like this?

A/N: I finally got the motivation (and time) to finish a Michael and Lucifer angst minific i begun in [checks calendar] march. :). This piece takes place in the armageddon AU timeline. While i do reccomend you go read the source material to understand this fully, here's a 'quick' summary:

The Demon King and Father never step away from leadership, and the exchange program is never created. Tension between the realms keep rising, and eventually spill over, which results in a war.

In an effort to prevent invasion, the Celestial Realm and Devildom become nigh inhospitable. The Celestial Realm becomes blindingly bright, even at night. Heat from the light results in burns, scorched feathers (loss of flight), and vision loss. The Devildom is clouded by a light-consuming mist. It becomes too dark and too cold to grow any kind of tree, crop or flower. Demons try to cope with famine through canibalism, all while dealing with wide-spread hypothermia* and madness. Sometime during this period, Michael's form is warped beyond recognition in an attempt to make the perfect demon killing machine.

Many angels and demons lose faith in the ambition of their sovereign, and thus create rebellion groups, which eventually fuse into one. Both Father and the Demon King are overthrown. The war is over, but the realms are still far from peace. Infighing in the Coaliton begins. The minific takes place at this point in the timeline. Two ideologies arise from the sea of arguments and discussions; Cohabitionism - belief that the CR and DD are far too damaged, and that angels and demons should permamently reside in the human world (as they have for a while already, many chose to flee to the Human World) Reformism - demons and angels miss their homes, humans want them out of theirs, so a plan of re-establishing CR and DD under new, proggresive leaders hangs in the air.

Reformism died out due to failed attempts to re-ihabit the other realms.

An institution called the World Council is established, angels, demons, and humans all inhabit the Human World.

For the first time in forever, the future that awaits everyone is a bright and happy one.

Written in 2nd person | Lucifer’s point of view Warnings: Angst | body horror | mentioned character death | mentioned self mutilation | existential dread? | post-apocalyptic world | heavily dependent on the source material [Obey me! armageddon AU created by @luckykittysshowerthoughts] Word count: 0.8k (+ 0.3k AU summary) tag list: @floydsteeth @lemidvet

You stand atop scorched ground covered by blood and ash. You and your brothers are here to participate in one of the many  meetings discussing the future of the realms and their surviving citizens. There are many people you know here-  Solomon, Thirteen, Diavolo, the surviving members of the Devildom House of Lords and the seraphim, a couple of other angels (including Simeon), and also a few high ranking Sorcerers’ Society members, guessing by their uniforms.

Although, this time there is a very peculiar… person? Amongst the Celestial Realm representatives that you don’t recognize. You also notice Michael isn’t in attendance again, but it’s no wonder he isn’t after what happened to him.

…

The mysterious angel bothers you. Well, it’s not doing anything to you, you just find it unsettlingly familiar - but you’ve never seen anything quite like it. The creature’s head, ankles, and four wrists are circled by golden bands littered with eyes. There are even more eyes on its wings, but you’re not sure how useful they are, given that said wings are on fire. Its eyes are frantic - looking, observing, but never quite locking eyes onto anything or anyone. Such features are only reserved for an angel’s higher form, but seeing how it was let into the conference like this, it mustn't be able to turn back. 

That was a person, once - or maybe it never was. Maybe it was created specifically to be a killing machine, without a choice and no mouth to voice its complaints.(Maybe its literal facelessness is meant to signify its lack of identity?). Is this really your father's doing? In pursuit of eradicating demon kind, did he truly go as far as to do this to one of his own children  your kin, once? Is this really what he wants? To create an inhabitable world for children malformed, dead, and broken? Is that how he shows 'love'? 

…

Staying in the Devildom’s frozen wasteland for so long clearly didn’t do wonders for your eyesight.*

The golden flames of its wings blinded you from noticing the most important detail about the angel. Beautiful, knee-length hair that shines like the purest gold. You know who this hair belongs to- you ruffled it a lot when you were still your Father’s favourite.

(How could you not have recognised him? You grew up with him. Did all that time you spent together mean nothing to you?)

This isn't just an angel- this is the angel who entrusted Mammon into your care, the one who commissioned the construction of the first ever planetarium in the celestial realm, the one you got a leg up on by going to it before he could, the one you playfully shoved your responsibilities onto when he did the same to you, the very same one you once co-ruled the celestial realm with, this- this is-

Michael is attending the meeting, after all.

The realisation is horrifying. Father did this. He did this to his most loyal and faithful soldier. His current favourite. His own child. If you hadn’t rebelled, if you hadn’t torn out your wings in anger, hadn’t lost your sister- would he have done the same to you?

A distant shout brings you back - the debate is getting heated. You watch as a member of the now nonexistent devildom nobility hollers profanities at an ophanim - Ribkiel, if memory serves you right. The angel can barely wait for the noble to finish before they slam their fists on the table and yell something back. Their pointless squabble incites many others to join in. A few people try to calm the screaming match, though, with Simeon included among them. This isn’t all that surprising -  the last meeting was just as disorderly as this one too. You can’t help but sigh. Something tears your attention again, but this time, away from the ongoing scuffle. There’s a dainty and delicate hand squeezing your arm. Despite your deteriorated eyesight, you can see the scarring on them - and something quite unheard of in such times - nail polish. Things have been peaceful enough recently for Asmodeus to paint his nails his signature blue and pink. Good. Though, the frown on Asmo’s face isn’t. He’s probably worried that you’re zoning out so much. You shake your head and he slides his hands away from you. You don’t notice him shooting you another concerned look as your eyes return to boring into Michael.

This time, he looks at you, too. His brilliant blue eyes gaze deep into your own. Maybe it’s just your imagination, but you swear there was a flash of pain and longing in them.

*- Extreme cold can damage your eyesight, and even lead to blindness. Though this isn't mentioned as something plauging the survivors from the Devildom in the AU.

[armageddonfm]

ARMAGEDDON'S EVENT 001: THE SOLAR FLARE

all over the city, communicators and radios crackle to life with the UNIVERSAL WARNING SIGNAL.

WE INTERRUPT YOUR MORNING PROGRAM TO BRING URGENT NEWS.

the meteorological early warning system, also known as MEWS, detected a solar abnormality early this morning. if their equations are to be believed, a solar flare event will occur within the next four hours. for those unfamiliar with solar flare events, this happens when high solar activity mixes with a weak atmospheric defense, creating a solar storm that wreathes the landscape in fire. this event is expected to last four to six weeks, and will eradicate all life left in its path.

WARNING! THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

citizens are urged to relocate to the bunkers below the city in a calm and orderly manner. you are limited to 50kg of belongings per person, 200kg per family group. remember, all basic needs will be met by the city.

CONSEQUENCES

for the next month, all characters will be STUCK within the unground tunnels beneath the city. the main hub is located near the path to the overworld, a cavernous undercity that can hold up to 5000 people in its midst. beyond that are the overflow living quarters, often used for prisoners, and a labyrinth of since abandoned tunnel systems. during this time, NO CHARACTERS ARE ALLOWED ABOVE GROUND. anyone not accounted for in the emergency census will be considered dead. those with professions dependent on the overworld will be temporarily relocated to other sectors while the solar storm is ongoing.

CONCLUSIONS

this event will last ONE MONTH, starting on september 25th and ending on october 25th. we ask that all non-event threads be wrapped up or dropped by the end of the weekend and that no new non-event starters be posted until its conclusion. happy sheltering!

[aeranar]

LOG — 03 OCT. 24 Exponential Functions & CSS Hell

Ended up getting into a flow state building a new Tumblr theme for myself until almost 2am. Even crazier, I woke up at the same time as usual feeling energized. Might be something to think about there.

CS definitely looks like the right path, it's just getting the prerequisites to get into the program that's proving difficult.

TASKS — Start Unit 2 take-home test — Reorganize desk drawers — 100DoS Day 4

🎧⠀⠀ Armageddon — aespa 📖⠀⠀ Sleep Smarter, Shawn Stevenson

[karizard-ao3]

At fourteen, the pilots haven't matured yet and are going through that difficult period of being teenagers. Can you imagine what Shinji's relationships would be like if they didn't need to pilot the evas and came to know each other for a longer time, like from 14 to 18 years old?

You know, it's kind of hard to picture because they got to know each other due to becoming pilots, so I guess I'll start by putting them in a different setting where they can be coworkers of sorts but without all the trauma.

Okay, let's see. This is also tricky because most 14 year olds these days don't have jobs.

A school club, then?

Lol let's do Lego robotics. They don't pilot mechas. They build little Lego robots and program them to complete tasks. It's like a tiny, non-traumatizing version of the Evangelions.

In fact, Evangelions can be their team name and their chief rival is the Angels. Misato is their advisor, with the help of Ritsuko, who teaches science at their high school.

Gendo forces Shinji to join the club because it will look good on his college apps. Rei, Shinji's cousin or young aunt, was also encouraged to join by Gendo, but they have a good relationship so she's okay with it. Asuka transferred to their school from Germany and believes that she is the superior Lego builder because she grew up in a closer geographical vicinity to Denmark. She has been to the Danish Legoland.

So I think freshman year we can anticipate that their relationships will be pretty similar to canon. They're 14. They're brimming with hormones and irrational feelings. Shinji's got severe daddy issues. They do not function well as a team, particularly him and Asuka. Shinji accidentally befriends Kaworu online, only to discover when they meet in person that he is a memeber of the Angels Lego robotics team. Tragedy ensues.

I remember 15 being an absolute clusterfuck of a year. Like, peak teen angst. So I think they're probably all going through some stuff but maybe this is what starts to bring them together? Not at first. At first they are all real shits, but then I think they might start to develop some empathy and be able to see themselves in each other. It all comes to a head during a high stakes Lego robotics competition they're holding out of town. For whatever reason, they have a lot riding on the line. Maybe we can borrow from the ballroom dancing au and decide that Lego robotics is going to get axed as a school program if they don't start getting some wins (they did really bad the year before). Or maybe they'll lose funding? Anyway. The team bonds when, at the competitions, they each take turns having breakdowns and comforting each other. They begin to learn to work together and realize that team work does indeed make the dream work.

By age 16, they're starting to calm down. One of them gets a car so they drive to get snacks or whatever after Lego club pretty regularly. Shinji and Asuka are starting to figure out how to talk to eachother without triggering Armageddon while Asuka and Rei are starting to do girls activities with each other.

Oh, gosh. This is getting long and my mind is also wandering because it's getting close to my bedtime. Anyway, I think basically they just, over time as their wee little brains finish developing, start to be able to collaborate and see things from each other's perspective and they become a formidable Lego robotics team and go to nationals and then onto worldwide events. Gendo is happy with Shinji for once. Rei and Asuka go on Lego Masters together after they graduate and then Rei gets a job at Lego HQ in Denmark.

I feel like that didn't really answer your question. I don't really know why it turned into being about Lego robots, but here we are. I think, in short, the answer is, they start out butting heads and having conflicts because they are thrown together into a teamwork situation that they are not ready for (and also they are not good at team activities). Over time, they learn to work together and accept each others' differences and flaws. Eventually, they are able to collaborate and kind of learn and grow from each other's influence. They make up for each other's weaknesses by offering up their strengths. I think we get little bits of them trying to learn to work together in NGE but, unfortunately, they don't get the opportunity to succeed because they run out of time and must each face the end of the world almost entirely on their own.

God, I am tired af. I don't even know if I'm making sense. Stopping while I'm mostly ahead.

[theculturedmarxist]

Our civilization is sick because all its systems ensure that human behavior is driven by profit, and health isn’t profitable. Nobody gets rich from everyone staying healthy all the time. The gears of capitalism will still keep turning if its populace is made shallow and dull by bad education and crappy art made for profit. Billionaires aren’t made by leaving forests and oceans unmolested, consuming less, mining less, drilling less, using less energy. The economy doesn’t soar when the world is at peace and nations are working together in harmony.

If you programmed an advanced AI to arrange human behavior solely around extracting the maximum amount of profit possible using existing technologies, its world wouldn’t look a whole lot different from the real one. We’re being guided by unthinking, unfeeling systems that don’t care about the good of our minds, our hearts, our health, or our biosphere, which will sacrifice all of the above to accomplish the one goal we’ve set them to accomplish.

It’s just a dogshit way to run a civilization. It doesn’t work. It’s left us with a dying world full of crazy morons hurtling toward nuclear armageddon on multiple fronts. Our systems have failed as spectacularly as anything can fail.

It’s simple really: we settled for capitalism as the status quo system because it’s an efficient way to churn out a lot of stuff and create a lot of wealth, but now we’re churning out too much stuff too quickly and society is enslaved by the wealthy. So now new systems are needed.

❖

So much of modern political life consists of the ruling class tricking the public into trading away things the ruling class values in exchange for things the ruling class does not value. Trading revolution for the feeling of being revolutionary. Trading actual freedom and democracy for the story of having freedom and democracy. Trading away the civil rights our rulers actually care about like unrestricted speech and freedom from surveillance in exchange for culture wars about racism and transphobia. Trading real labor for imaginary money. In every way possible we’re being duped into trading away real power for empty narrative fluff.

❖

One part of the problem is that in this mind-controlled dystopia people are prevented from knowing how deeply evil their government is, so the idea of their government surveilling them and regulating their speech and their access to information doesn’t scare them like it should.

This is why it annoys me when people say “Stop talking about the problems, we need to talk about solutions!” It’s like mate, we’re so far from ever being able to implement solutions — we haven’t even gotten to a point where a significant number of people know the problems exist. Step one is spreading awareness of the problems and their sources, because nobody’s going to turn and fight an enemy who they still believe is their friend. Systemic solutions are pretty far down the track from that point.

❖

It’s a pretty well-established fact by now that free will doesn’t exist nearly to the extent that most religions, philosophies and judicial systems pretend it does. Our minds are very hackable and propaganda is very effective. If you don’t get this, you don’t understand the problem.

Do a deep dive into cognitive biases and how they operate. Look into the research which shows our brains know what decisions we’re going to make several seconds before the conscious mind thinks we’re making them. You’re going to tell me these are organisms with free agency?

In order to understand what we’re up against you have to understand psychological manipulation, how effective it is, and why it works, because mass-scale psychological manipulation is the primary force preventing the public from turning against our rulers in our own interest.

❖

It seems like a lot of the inertia and self-defeating hopelessness that people have about fighting the machine comes from knowing the political awakenings of the sixties fizzled out, but I don’t think that would be the case if people understood just how much hard work the machine had to put into making them fizzle.

I mean, we all get that the death of activist movements didn’t just happen on its own, right? We all know about COINTELPRO? Known instances where one out of every six activists was actually a federal infiltrator? The roll-out of the most sophisticated propaganda machine that has ever existed?

The amount of energy the western empire has poured into killing all leftist and antiwar movement is staggering, but people just think the acid wore off and the hippies turned into yuppies and the Reagan administration happened on its own. It didn’t. They had to work hard at that.

The revolution didn’t organically fizzle out, it was actively strangled to death. And what’s left in its place is this defeatist attitude where people want a healthy society but believe it can’t be attained, so it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. We COINTELPRO ourselves now.

People think we can’t use the power of our numbers to force the emergence of a healthy society, and we don’t deserve one because we dropped the ball. But we didn’t knowingly drop the ball, we were manipulated out of it. And the manipulators had to work very, very hard to do so. Those movements died out because the machine understood very clearly that it needed to stomp them out with extreme aggression and knew exactly what it needed to do to accomplish this, while ordinary people did not. It’s not a fair fight if only one party knows it’s a fight.

The machine won one battle and everyone’s acting like they won the war. They didn’t. We can absolutely pick up the fight again, and we can overwhelm them with our numbers. If we had any idea how hard they had to work to win that one battle, this would be clear to everybody.

[raidante]

here’s some quick notes I’ve written in my phone about golems for those who are interested.

Random oc stuff 

Golems: a race of artificially grown organic soldiers by the world powers (UN) to fight the demon invasion of 1992. The war ended in 1995 after the AEON super computer overrides the kill switch and detonates nuclear Armageddon, after rushing suitable humans into underground evacuation vaults. AEON assumed control of the golems engineering and even after 30 years, the death of the original AEON (surviving as multiple computer programs called AEONs), these golems are produced in an endless cycle of fighting a war long lost. They now patrol and survey the market districts of Tokyo, waging turf wars against demons and having their parts recycled into new golems by Collectors. 

Types of Golems:

-foot soldiers. Most basic golem. On the ground soldiers for fighting. Use guns & swords. 

-Sniper units. They provide cover for foot soldiers. Explicitly use long range projectile weapons. 

-Commanders. Most units are guided by commander orders. They don’t fight but hide and transmit information.

-Mothers. Large, multi faceted golems that house the birthing chambers for new golems. They dispense units as they slowly roam Tokyo. They tend to stay close to their units. 

-Collectors. The only non biological golem. They are assist robots that collect golem body parts to be dispensed and recycled by the mothers. This perpetuates the endless production cycle. 

AEON program:

A supercomputer launched by the UN to help radically solve world problems as the world suffered more than ever decline in its populations, environments, and climate while crime escalated and war generated economic growth. When the demons invaded in 1992, AEON was requested to devote all processing powers to solving the demonic war. They created the program that wrote the first genetic makeup for golems, as humanity’s populations were rapidly decreasing and unsuitable for combat against demons. As humans slowly moved underground (those who could afford the shelter programs), golems fought demons on the surface. Demons created turf wars with the powerful among them challenging humanity’s world leaders. AEON came to the conclusion that nuclear Armageddon would be the last effort to cleanse demons off the world. Dispersing its original supercomputer program into smaller, denser AEON programs, it hacked the kill switch, fired the nukes, and changed the world. 30 years after, AEON survives as smaller programs, called AEONs, and they continue to run golem programming and have expanded it to become self sufficient. Most AEONs have forgotten their origins, and completely focus on demonic eradication, rather than ensuring humanity’s survival. 

[ronqueesha]

I finished the Fallout show and absolutely loved it. It nailed the spirit of the games, even the older ones, perfectly. Of course, I loved all of the little easter eggs. Especially the news channel logo that mirrored the Interplay logo from the original games.

Some thoughts on the blatant retcons that a lot of people are upset about. Major spoilers, of course:

While I'm also unhappy that Fallout New Vegas is in a precarious state of being non-canon, Season 1 of the show actually gave me a lot of hope. And I think the showrunners love New Vegas more than people might realize.

The last shot of season 1 is nothing but a major hint that the city of New Vegas is going to play a major role in the future. Not only that, but Season 1 went out of its way to not only mention things like Big MT and other New-Vegas-specific details, but they included a significant cameo from Robert House. Who I thought was extremely well cast given that his original voice actor passed away several years ago.

Season 1 was a big mishmash of plot points and references to the major events of the other games. The vault's water chip failing, the Enclave, the protagonist venturing into the wasteland to find and rescue a parent, even Vault-Tec having a small vault made just for cryo-freezing a select few people.

I would not be surprised at all if season 2 of Fallout incorporates many of the events and locations of New Vegas as Lucy and Coop follow her father east. Maybe the game we experienced isn't canon, but the major events still are, just through their eyes and not the player. House is still alive and scheming to make Vegas his independent kingdom. The Legion is expanding into the territory, and small towns in the desert will need help in one way or another.

So yeah, that's my hope. The Fallout show was always going to be an original story to avoid tiptoeing around the infinite number of decisions a player can make in each game. New Vegas has been retconned not because Todd Howard hates it, but because it gives the showrunners room to display WAY more from that game without having to worry about player agency. We won't get a 1-for-1 remake of New Vegas in season 2, but we could see a lot of familiar faces, places and events. More than in season 1.

There are some people upset that the show confirms that the Great War was explicitly started by Vault Tec and a few interested big corporations. This has always been at the top of the fan theory list of who started the war.

From almost the first game people have suspected Vault Tec. We've known for decades that Vault Tec had contracts with the US Government, which later became the Enclave, in order to build vaults, stir paranoia, and make the public okay with the entire program in the face of inevitable nuclear armageddon.

During the business meeting scene, there was a mysterious shadowy figure watching over the proceedings. While Coop was listening in the waiting room, this shadow figure was looking down at the corpos from his own space above them. This could be that Enclave pressure I mentioned above. Vault Tec didn't start the nuclear exchange just to make money, but because they had to on orders from the Enclave.

[pokytoad]

Okay so I'm going to say something, because I'm done keeping it inside.

This is based on my own personal experience as a woman who was raised in a borderline cult. AKA: true Bible Belt, Evangelical, fundamentalist Christianity.

I keep seeing phrases like "Zionism only means the establishment of a basis for a Jewish homeland, nothing more" and while it SHOULD be that way, in the United States, Zionism gets a lot darker than the textbook definition. Evangelical Zionists (hello? Like 90% of conservative politicians) are literally obsessed with the idea of this "Holy War" going on in the Middle East. They think it's the first phase of Armageddon.

I am not exaggerating, this is extremely serious.

I come from a fundamentalist church that prayed for Israel every service, and on October 7 I was filled with dread because I knew some Evangelical leaders would rejoice in this moment in history.

They think this is a prophecy heralding the end times, and they are extremely serious about it.

And the greatest irony is that based on Evangelical Zionist principles, they're antisemitic. They pretend to care about Jewish people, but they think that Judaism is just as outdated and "false" as Islam and even Catholicism for fuck's sake. They don't support Jewish people OR Israel. They support the destruction of the entire world to justify the "rapture/tribulation", and this is Phase #1 in their twisted, Kool-Aid-soaked heads.

I'll let Sarah Posner with MSNBC say the words:

(Source is linked below)

I cannot stress enough how seriously I'm saying this because it looks like 4Chan bullshit when I read it back, but Evangelical Zionists in the USA are not supporting Israel. They want every non-Christian to be struck down with hellfire, and this is a reality to them. You can comment to say "well that's just your specific experience etc" but the fact that I HAVE this experience? Means that there is a very real and unprecedented amount of fundamentalist Christians CHEERING ON a genocide in 2023. I can see the rhetoric, the propaganda, and the cult programming happening right now, because I got out.

These people are actively participating in mass murder because they want non-Christians to be decimated. It's pretty Aryan if I can be bold. It's insane. And to them, It's real.

My heart goes out to all my Jewish and Muslim friends during this difficult time. I don't have any solutions, all I can do is spread awareness about this cult-like, insidious behavior happening in the open in Evangelist American churches everywhere.

I wish I could say this isn't the thought process of thousands of Americans but at the end of the day, their ideology is rooted in bigotry and hatred.

[homestuckreplay]

"why so tentacles" - the therapist

NEW CHARACTER! NEW CHARACTER! When John's computer had a notification on page 61 I was expecting TG back again, but I was happy to see that we got to meet tentacleTherapist! Assuming she's a kid around John's age, she's immediately clearly one of those kids who tries to sound much older, takes herself very seriously, and wants to be seen as intelligent. She also immediately makes it clear to the reader how well she knows John (or just how transparent he is) by calling him out on wearing a silly disguise while in his own house. John, TG and TT all have such different mannerisms, which is really effective for characterization, but makes me wonder how they all became friends, I'd love to get some nods towards their history together.

It didn't register to me that we'd only seen two of John's walls until it was pointed out, and then it immediately felt like a huge thing that had been missing. There are no real surprises - just a whole bunch more posters for movies I haven't seen. The Armageddon poster is especially, comically huge, covering up half the wall behind the desk. From this angle the desk is the clear focal point of the room, it's much bigger than the bed and even the magic chest, bringing into focus the importance of the computer to the story. It's not clarified which is the third wall and which is the fourth, but it feels symbolically more interesting for the wall with John's computer to be the fourth wall.

It's interesting to learn that 'combining' two items in the sylladex doesn't necessarily combine them in the most logical way - as we see with the ashes and urn. This definitely isn't a smart inventory system, it runs on basic programming and it can probably be manipulated and exploited. We also see another instance of 'using' an item from the sylladex on an external, non-captchalogued item. In this case it's the fake arms on the harlequin doll. Here we don't get the cursor or flashing green space like we did when John used the hammer and nails to hang the poster, possibly because we're through the tutorial level now and are supposed to infer these video game effects happening each time we see items used in this way.

Circling back to TT's accusations, John has been wearing this shitty disguise for 20 pages now, almost a third of the comic so far. I love Homestuck's willingness to commit to the bit, and the characterization of John as somebody who thinks sticking fake arms onto a doll is an Epic Prank is extremely charming. Not much is happening right now, but in all the 'not much' is a very effective portrait of John as a character - I feel like we already know him pretty well.