#are: critical thinking. and Building Empathy
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Become curious again. Reading, like everything else we do, is easier the more we do. Stuff being dense and tiring is not forever, it's not a sign of IQ or ability, it's a sign you're using pathways that you don't use as often. It doesn't mean you can't relax with silly shit sometimes too, but MENTAL adaptability and flexibility is like physical, if you don't do something to maintain it you lose it. And with it you lose your resilience in rough times, your ability to imagine other perspectives, your empathy, your critical thinking skills. And if you absorb better by hearing, a lot is available in audiobooks, or long form podcasts.
This is not "only stupid or immature people like (x recreational media)" but concern that consuming only things that are easy for you keeps you from growing as a person, building reserves and confidence for hard times, creating opportunities for yourself to thrive, encountering things you don't know you love yet but will, sources of hope and inspiration and connection you haven't seen yet because as comfortable as a blanket fort is, you can't see the stars from inside it. You can't feel the ocean rising and receding around your ankles in it, or smell an apple orchard under fall sun.
The blanket fort will be there when you get back, if you need it. The art museum is calling, and the science museum, and the textile guild, and the bookbinders, and the samurai swordsmiths, and the acapella choir.
find local theater near you. go to local theater near you. read plays. read non-fiction books. read fiction books written over one hundred years ago. go to the movie theater. watch movies with subtitles. watch slow movies. watch challenging movies. watch movies made for less than five million dollars. watch a documentary. watch television shows that have no fandoms. watch classic television shows. watch television shows starring actors that have no social media. read criticism of your favorite media frequently. think critically about your favorite media often. consume media made for adults.
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the more i listen to behind the bastards podcast history stories, the more i'm like 'wow rich people really will do endless horrible stuff in pursuit of ever more wealth (even if they're already comfortable and could remain comfortable simply NOT doing more horrible stuff to others)' and also 'wow lack of empathy is a huge problem'
#rant#things i wish were taught so much more (but with schools being defunded and all the other stuff ehh i doubt i'll see it for a while)#are: critical thinking. and Building Empathy#i wish local libraries did weekly Critical Thinking classes where they showed public visitors to the class a news article. then explaine#how to check the sources and how to determine the biases of the author and the goal of the author. and then did that with an instagram post#and a facebook ad. and a bot reddit post.#and a news piece on TV. it would help regular people SO much to have a refresher class on critical thinking#and then also a weekly library class on Building Empathy#it could be really simple: invite everyone in the class to introduce themselves and some facts about their background or likes or family#and have everyone in the class do a team building activity - possibly a fun one like make an art piece together that'll be hung up in libra#library. or plant some plants in a community garden. simply MEETING people outside their normal groups#will foster more empathy.#do the same with a kids class. other activities can include encouraging people to read 1 new narrative book every few month#the library can recommend the book or take recommendations from the class. and then each meeting the group discusses thoughts on the book#its about getting the whole GROUP to practice empathizing with characters that are unlike them. sometimes the book will have a narrator#unlike someone in the group.#just some regular weekly community classes like this would do SO MUCH to help a community#i'd love to see schools do this too - as there's structured time to actually do this (team building activities and empathy building)#and assignments where teachers can focus on critical thinking (essays. news article/book analysis. history class. english class. science#class. any class using sources of information can practice teaching kids critical thinking)
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I Refuse to Live in Fear: Choosing Courage and Compassion in a Divided World
I know so many people are feeling afraid right now, but I refuse. We can choose to approach our fears, each other, our issues, and our differences with courage and compassion.
In a world filled with fear and division, I refuse to live in fear. This article explores how we can rise above fear, embrace critical thinking, and engage with others respectfully, fostering empathy and understanding in a polarized society. When I started Wisterian Woman, I swore I wouldn’t get political. I still won’t, at least not in the way we typically think of politics. But one thing…
#addressing fear#addressing fear in society#addressing political fear#anxiety#bridging ideological divides#building bridges#building empathy#combating fear#combating fear-driven politics#confronting fear#critical thinking#critical thinking in politics#cultural fear#cultural understanding#embracing difference#embracing diversity#embracing uncertainty#emotional intelligence#empathy and communication#empathy in politics#fear#fear and communication#fear and communication skills#fear and compassion#fear and democracy#fear and division#fear and divisiveness#fear and empathy#fear and health#fear and human connection
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Unveiling the Double-Edged Sword: The Intersection of Human Psychology and Manipulation
The field of human psychology has greatly advanced our understanding of people, shedding light on the intricacies of human behavior, cognition, and emotions. This enhanced knowledge has empowered us to comprehend individuals and connect on deeper levels. However, as our understanding has grown, so too has the potential for manipulation. In this thought-provoking blog post, we explore the double-edged sword of our continued understanding of human psychology. We delve into how this knowledge has made us better at understanding people while simultaneously amplifying the abilities of those who seek to manipulate others.
Unveiling Human Psychology: Advancements in the study of human psychology have unraveled the mysteries of our thoughts, motivations, and behaviors. Through rigorous research and scientific exploration, we have gained valuable insights into the complexities of human cognition, emotions, and social dynamics. This understanding enables us to empathize, connect, and communicate more effectively, fostering healthier relationships and promoting personal growth.
Empowerment through Awareness: As we uncover the intricacies of human psychology, we become better equipped to recognize and understand the motivations and behaviors of others. This awareness allows us to navigate social interactions with greater empathy, sensitivity, and respect. It enables us to forge deeper connections, foster meaningful dialogue, and build more inclusive and harmonious communities.
The Dark Side of Understanding: However, our enhanced understanding of human psychology has inadvertently created opportunities for manipulation. Those with nefarious intentions can exploit our psychological vulnerabilities, leveraging their knowledge to deceive, control, or exploit others. Manipulative individuals may exploit cognitive biases, emotional triggers, and social dynamics to gain power or advantage, causing harm to unsuspecting individuals.
Psychological Manipulation: Psychological manipulation refers to the deliberate and unethical tactics used to influence, control, or deceive others. Manipulators may exploit psychological principles, such as persuasion techniques, emotional manipulation, or gaslighting, to achieve their desired outcomes. Their actions can undermine trust, exploit vulnerabilities, and erode personal agency.
Safeguarding against Manipulation: While manipulation poses challenges, there are ways to safeguard against its harmful effects. Developing critical thinking skills, emotional intelligence, and a strong sense of self-awareness can help individuals recognize and resist manipulative tactics. Promoting ethical behavior, fostering open communication, and advocating for transparency and accountability are vital in creating a society less susceptible to manipulation.
Ethical Use of Psychological Knowledge: To counter the dark side of manipulation, it is crucial to promote the ethical use of psychological knowledge. Ethical practitioners, researchers, and educators can help disseminate accurate information, raise awareness about manipulation tactics, and empower individuals to make informed choices. By leveraging psychological insights for positive purposes, we can foster personal growth, enhance relationships, and create a more just and compassionate society.
Our continued understanding of human psychology has undoubtedly improved our ability to understand and connect with others. However, we must also confront the unsettling reality that this knowledge can be exploited by manipulative individuals. By raising awareness, promoting ethical use of psychological insights, and nurturing critical thinking, we can mitigate the negative effects of manipulation and build a society that values empathy, authenticity, and respectful communication. Let us harness the power of human psychology for the betterment of individuals and communities, fostering an environment where understanding and compassion thrive, and manipulation finds no fertile ground to grow.
#philosophy#epistemology#knowledge#learning#ethics#education#chatgpt#Human psychology#Understanding people#Manipulation tactics#Ethics in psychology#Psychological manipulation#Empathy and connection#Cognitive biases#Emotional intelligence#Critical thinking#Building healthy relationships#Psychological vulnerabilities#Social dynamics#Ethical communication#Personal growth#Safeguarding against manipulation#Responsible dissemination of knowledge#Nurturing empathy and authenticity#Psychological self-awareness#Creating inclusive communities#Countering manipulation for societal well-being
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Beyond Polarization: Bridging the Divide in a Divided World
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In today’s world, marked by ever-deepening divides, polarization has become one of the defining features of our social, political, and cultural landscapes. Whether it’s ideological differences, religious beliefs, or social identities, people are often entrenched in opposing views, leading to an erosion of constructive dialogue and understanding. In such a climate, the ability to communicate across divides without hostility is becoming both rare and precious. The question arises: how can we bridge these divides? Dr. Jordan B. Peterson, a psychologist and cultural critic, and Gregg Hurwitz, a novelist and political activist, delve into this issue in their recent discussion, offering insights on how we might move beyond polarization to foster a more connected society. Their perspectives, which merge insights from psychology, literature, and social science, underscore the significance of open-minded conversation and empathy in an increasingly divided world.
The Role of Constructive Dialogue
Constructive dialogue is not merely about exchanging words but about understanding and empathy. In a polarized world, where emotions run high and divisions deepen, people are often caught up in echo chambers, where they reinforce their beliefs without examining or questioning them. Constructive dialogue, as Peterson and Hurwitz argue, requires us to step outside of these echo chambers and engage with others’ ideas—even those that may be uncomfortable or challenging. They believe that it’s only through genuine engagement and active listening that we can begin to address misunderstandings and work toward common ground.
To bridge divides, one of the primary tools they advocate is empathy—the ability to understand and relate to another person’s experiences and emotions. Empathy allows individuals to see the world from others’ perspectives, making it possible to find value in different viewpoints. Peterson and Hurwitz suggest that by cultivating empathy, people can engage in more meaningful conversations that don’t reduce complex issues to simplistic, adversarial terms. Instead, empathy can be a bridge, allowing for nuanced discussions where mutual respect and understanding can flourish.
Understanding Our Own Biases and Limitations
Another key to overcoming polarization lies in the recognition of our own biases. Both Peterson and Hurwitz argue that we tend to approach issues with preconceived notions shaped by our backgrounds, experiences, and media consumption. These biases often cloud our judgment and reinforce our existing beliefs, making it difficult to approach conversations with an open mind. By recognizing these biases, we can become more aware of how they affect our perception of others and are more likely to approach discussions with humility and curiosity rather than judgment.
Peterson emphasizes the importance of understanding that no one has a monopoly on truth. Each perspective, no matter how flawed it may seem, holds a fragment of truth that is valuable in understanding the larger picture. Hurwitz adds that even in fictional storytelling, characters who appear morally ambiguous or flawed can offer profound insights into the human experience. This perspective encourages us to look beyond binary categories of "right" and "wrong" and to appreciate the complexity of individual experiences and beliefs.
The Value of Storytelling in Bridging Divides
One of the most powerful tools in bridging divides is storytelling, a theme that Hurwitz, as a novelist, explores in depth. Stories have a unique ability to transcend individual differences, connecting us to universal human experiences and emotions. Through stories, we can experience different lives, beliefs, and values, which can lead to greater empathy and understanding. Hurwitz suggests that by telling and listening to each other’s stories, people are better able to understand the motivations behind others’ beliefs, even when they disagree.
Peterson echoes this sentiment, pointing out that storytelling is fundamental to human communication. Stories shape our identities, values, and perceptions, and they often carry the lessons of past generations. By sharing our own stories and listening to others, we create connections that go beyond intellectual debate and reach the heart of human experience. This approach, according to Peterson and Hurwitz, allows individuals to find shared meaning even in the face of deep differences.
Building a Culture of Respectful Engagement
To bridge divides in a polarized world, Peterson and Hurwitz emphasize the need to build a culture of respectful engagement. This requires people to treat each other with dignity, even when they fundamentally disagree. They argue that respect doesn’t mean agreement; rather, it means recognizing the inherent worth of others and their right to hold their beliefs. In a polarized society, where differing opinions are often met with hostility, creating a space for respectful engagement can be transformative.
Peterson stresses the importance of responsibility in maintaining respectful dialogue, encouraging individuals to hold themselves accountable for how they communicate and engage with others. Hurwitz adds that courage is essential, as it takes bravery to step out of one’s comfort zone and engage with opposing views openly. Together, they highlight the idea that building bridges requires both strength and vulnerability—strength to stand by one’s values and vulnerability to be open to change and growth.
Conclusion
In a world that often feels divided beyond repair, Dr. Jordan B. Peterson and Gregg Hurwitz’s discussion on bridging divides offers a hopeful vision of unity through dialogue, empathy, and respect. They remind us that polarization is not an inevitable outcome; it is a challenge we can overcome if we are willing to make an effort to understand each other. By embracing constructive dialogue, acknowledging our biases, engaging in storytelling, and fostering respectful engagement, we can begin to bridge the divides that separate us. Ultimately, Peterson and Hurwitz’s insights encourage us to see beyond our differences and to connect on a deeper, more human level. In doing so, we can move toward a world where division gives way to unity, and hostility is replaced with understanding.
The Manufactured Polarity
In the contemporary landscape of social discourse, the phenomenon of manufactured polarity has emerged as a significant force that exacerbates division within society. This polarization is largely driven by the mechanisms of social media and the sensationalism prevalent in news outlets. These platforms do not merely reflect societal divisions; they actively perpetuate and deepen them, creating an environment where constructive dialogue becomes increasingly difficult.
The Role of Social Media and News Outlets
Social media platforms, designed to prioritize engagement and virality, often amplify extreme viewpoints over moderate ones. Algorithms tailor content to users’ preferences, creating echo chambers where individuals are primarily exposed to ideas that reinforce their existing beliefs. As a result, nuanced discussions and diverse perspectives are marginalized, leading to a distorted perception of societal consensus. This tendency to prioritize sensational content fuels outrage and intensifies divisions, as users become more polarized and entrenched in their viewpoints.
News outlets also play a crucial role in perpetuating division. Many mainstream media organizations prioritize ratings and audience retention over responsible reporting, leading to sensationalized coverage that inflames partisan passions. Rather than presenting balanced viewpoints, news reports often focus on conflict and controversy, reinforcing existing biases. This coverage contributes to a culture where viewers are more likely to perceive opposing sides as adversaries rather than fellow citizens with whom they can engage in dialogue.
The resulting environment is one in which individuals become less willing to engage with opposing viewpoints. The immediacy and emotional intensity of social media can make it tempting to dismiss or attack those who hold different opinions. The challenge is compounded by the tendency of many individuals to curate their online experiences, intentionally avoiding content that challenges their beliefs, thus creating a feedback loop of division.
The Influence of Bad Actors and Foreign Powers
While social media and news outlets contribute to manufactured polarity, they are not the only actors at play. Bad actors, both domestic and foreign, exploit these platforms to manipulate public opinion and sow discord. These entities utilize disinformation campaigns, often disseminating false narratives designed to exacerbate existing divisions within American society. Such campaigns are particularly effective during times of social unrest or political contention, capitalizing on the existing tensions to create further polarization.
Foreign powers have increasingly engaged in these tactics, utilizing social media to influence elections and public sentiment. For instance, Russian interference in the 2016 U.S. presidential election exemplifies how foreign actors can exploit the vulnerabilities of social media to manipulate American thought. By targeting specific demographic groups with tailored misinformation, these entities seek to deepen societal divides and disrupt the democratic process. This manipulation serves to undermine trust in institutions and fosters an environment of suspicion and animosity.
In addition to disinformation, bad actors may also engage in astroturfing—creating the illusion of grassroots movements to manipulate public perception. By generating coordinated campaigns that appear to be spontaneous expressions of public sentiment, these entities can further exacerbate divisions and create a sense of urgency around contentious issues. This manipulation not only distorts public discourse but also discourages authentic engagement, making it challenging for individuals to discern genuine grassroots movements from orchestrated efforts designed to incite division.
The Impact of Manufactured Polarity
The impact of manufactured polarity is profound and far-reaching. As divisions deepen, individuals may become less willing to engage in constructive dialogue, viewing those with opposing views as enemies rather than fellow citizens. This mindset leads to an erosion of trust in institutions, as individuals increasingly perceive news outlets, social media, and even one another as unreliable sources of information.
Moreover, manufactured polarity can hinder collective action on critical issues. When individuals are divided along ideological lines, finding common ground becomes increasingly challenging, stymieing efforts to address pressing social, economic, and political problems. As polarization intensifies, so too does the difficulty of creating policies that reflect the diverse needs and perspectives of society.
In this climate, the call for bridging divides becomes urgent. Recognizing the manufactured nature of polarization is the first step in countering its effects. By understanding the mechanisms at play, individuals can become more discerning consumers of information, seeking out diverse viewpoints and engaging in constructive dialogue rather than retreating into ideological silos.
Conclusion
The manufactured polarity in our society is a complex issue fueled by the dynamics of social media, sensationalized news coverage, and the manipulative tactics of bad actors. Understanding these factors is essential for navigating the current landscape of division. As we grapple with the consequences of this polarization, the importance of fostering constructive dialogue and empathy cannot be overstated. By actively seeking to bridge divides and promote understanding, we can begin to dismantle the barriers that separate us and work toward a more unified society. The responsibility lies with each individual to engage thoughtfully and compassionately, recognizing that our shared humanity transcends ideological differences.
The Dangers of Groupthink
In a polarized world, the phenomenon of groupthink poses significant dangers to individual and collective thought processes. Groupthink occurs when the desire for conformity within a group leads to irrational or dysfunctional decision-making, stifling critical thinking and discouraging the consideration of alternative viewpoints. This mindset not only perpetuates ideological divides but also poses risks to societal progress and individual autonomy.
The Risks of Uncritically Accepting Ideologies
One of the primary dangers of groupthink is the uncritical acceptance of ideologies, which can lead to a number of detrimental outcomes. When individuals prioritize group cohesion over independent thought, they may adopt beliefs or decisions without thoroughly evaluating their validity or implications. This uncritical acceptance often results in a lack of skepticism towards prevailing narratives, causing individuals to overlook important evidence and arguments that challenge the status quo.
This phenomenon can be particularly pronounced in highly polarized environments where ideological homogeneity is prevalent. In such contexts, dissenting voices are frequently marginalized or silenced, creating an environment where alternative perspectives are viewed as threats to group identity. As members of the group reinforce one another's beliefs, critical inquiry diminishes, and the group's collective understanding becomes less nuanced.
The consequences of uncritically accepting ideologies can be severe. In extreme cases, this can lead to fanaticism, where individuals become so entrenched in their beliefs that they are willing to engage in harmful actions against perceived adversaries. History is replete with examples where groupthink has led to catastrophic consequences, from social movements that devolve into violence to political regimes that perpetuate oppression in the name of ideological purity.
The Importance of Critical Thinking and Nuance
To counteract the dangers of groupthink, the cultivation of critical thinking is essential. Critical thinking involves the ability to analyze information, evaluate arguments, and draw reasoned conclusions based on evidence rather than emotion or conformity. By fostering critical thinking skills, individuals can become more adept at questioning prevailing ideologies and considering a wider array of perspectives.
In addition to critical thinking, embracing nuance is crucial in breaking free from the constraints of groupthink. The complexities of social, political, and cultural issues often resist simple categorization into “right” or “wrong.” Recognizing that most issues exist on a spectrum allows individuals to engage more thoughtfully with opposing viewpoints. Nuance encourages individuals to appreciate the valid concerns underlying differing beliefs, promoting empathy and understanding in the process.
Educators, leaders, and communities must prioritize the development of critical thinking and nuance in their interactions. This involves creating spaces where diverse viewpoints can be shared without fear of retribution or dismissal. By encouraging open dialogue and fostering a culture of inquiry, individuals can break free from the confines of groupthink and engage in more constructive conversations.
The Role of Individual Responsibility
Ultimately, overcoming the dangers of groupthink requires a commitment to individual responsibility. Each person must be willing to reflect on their beliefs, challenge their assumptions, and actively seek out opposing viewpoints. This commitment to self-reflection and growth can be uncomfortable, but it is essential for fostering a more open-minded society.
Moreover, individuals must recognize the power of their choices in the context of information consumption. In an age of misinformation, it is crucial to approach media critically, seeking out reliable sources and diverse perspectives rather than simply consuming content that reinforces existing beliefs. By cultivating a mindset of inquiry and skepticism, individuals can contribute to a culture that values critical thought over blind conformity.
Conclusion
The dangers of groupthink serve as a potent reminder of the need for critical thinking and nuance in our increasingly polarized society. As individuals navigate complex issues and engage with differing viewpoints, the importance of questioning prevailing ideologies cannot be overstated. By fostering a culture that encourages independent thought and values the richness of diverse perspectives, we can mitigate the risks associated with uncritical acceptance of ideologies. Ultimately, promoting critical thinking and embracing nuance are essential steps toward bridging divides and fostering a more empathetic, connected society. In doing so, we affirm our shared humanity and our capacity for growth and understanding in a world that often seeks to divide us.
Gregg Hurwitz's Work: A Case Study
Gregg Hurwitz is a multifaceted writer and activist known for his compelling novels and thought-provoking engagement with pressing social issues. His work spans various genres, including thrillers, young adult fiction, and graphic novels, but he is particularly recognized for his ability to weave intricate narratives that explore the complexities of human experience. Alongside his literary contributions, Hurwitz has been actively involved in social activism, using his platform to raise awareness about critical issues such as political polarization, cultural misunderstandings, and global conflicts.
Overview of Gregg's Writing and Activism
Hurwitz’s novels often reflect themes of morality, justice, and the human condition, with well-developed characters facing ethical dilemmas that challenge their beliefs. His background in psychology informs his storytelling, allowing him to delve deep into the motivations and emotions of his characters. Works such as The Rains series and Orphan X reflect his knack for creating tension and suspense while exploring larger societal themes.
In addition to his fiction, Hurwitz is dedicated to social activism. He frequently engages in discussions around the importance of empathy and understanding in bridging ideological divides. Through interviews, public speaking engagements, and social media, Hurwitz emphasizes the necessity of dialogue and the importance of hearing diverse perspectives. His activism is rooted in the belief that literature can inspire change and foster a greater understanding of the complexities of contemporary issues.
One of the pivotal aspects of Hurwitz's activism is his commitment to addressing cultural misunderstandings, particularly in relation to the Middle East. This is exemplified in his short film Ask An Iranian: The Truth About the Middle East, which serves as a case study in his approach to storytelling and activism.
Analysis of "Ask An Iranian: The Truth About the Middle East"
Ask An Iranian is a thought-provoking short film that seeks to challenge stereotypes and misconceptions about Iran and its people. The film is structured around a simple yet powerful premise: what if we asked everyday Iranians about their lives, thoughts, and experiences? This approach invites viewers to move beyond the often sensationalized portrayals of Iran in mainstream media and engage with the voices of those who live there.
Thematic Exploration
The film’s central theme is the importance of personal narratives in dismantling preconceived notions about cultures and societies. By allowing Iranians to share their stories, Hurwitz emphasizes the common humanity that transcends geopolitical divides. The film features a diverse range of voices, from students to artists, each providing unique perspectives that reflect the complexities of life in Iran. This diversity of experience challenges monolithic representations and underscores the idea that there is no single “truth” about a culture or country.
Impact of Personal Narratives
Hurwitz effectively uses personal narratives to foster empathy and understanding. As viewers hear directly from individuals in Iran, they are invited to engage with their humanity, shifting the focus from political rhetoric to personal experiences. This narrative technique serves as a powerful tool in counteracting stereotypes, illustrating how real people often defy the simplistic narratives that dominate media portrayals.
The film also addresses the impact of social and political issues on everyday life in Iran, highlighting the struggles and aspirations of its citizens. By shedding light on these realities, Hurwitz encourages viewers to consider the broader implications of their perceptions and to recognize the interconnectedness of global experiences. The film serves as a reminder that individuals are shaped by their circumstances but also possess agency and resilience in navigating their challenges.
A Call for Dialogue
In Ask An Iranian, Hurwitz not only seeks to inform but also to inspire dialogue. By encouraging viewers to engage with the complexities of Iranian culture, he advocates for a more nuanced understanding of the Middle East. The film is a call to action, urging audiences to question their assumptions and to seek out diverse voices in their quest for knowledge.
Hurwitz’s emphasis on dialogue extends beyond the film itself; it reflects his broader approach to activism. By promoting conversations about culture and identity, he hopes to foster a sense of connection that transcends ideological divides. In an era marked by polarization and misunderstanding, Hurwitz’s work serves as a powerful reminder of the potential for storytelling to bridge gaps and cultivate empathy.
Conclusion
Gregg Hurwitz’s writing and activism reflect a commitment to exploring the complexities of the human experience while fostering understanding across cultural divides. His short film Ask An Iranian: The Truth About the Middle East exemplifies this approach, utilizing personal narratives to challenge stereotypes and promote empathy. Through his work, Hurwitz underscores the importance of dialogue and critical engagement in addressing the pressing issues of our time. By inviting audiences to confront their assumptions and embrace the richness of diverse perspectives, he contributes to a more compassionate and connected society. As we navigate the complexities of the modern world, Hurwitz’s work serves as an invaluable resource for fostering understanding and bridging divides.
Building Bridges
In an increasingly polarized society, the need for constructive dialogue and understanding has never been more pressing. Engaging in meaningful conversations across divides requires intentional effort and strategies that promote connection and mutual respect. Here are practical steps and strategies for fostering constructive dialogue and finding common ground.
Practical Advice for Engaging in Constructive Dialogue
Listen Actively: Active listening is a crucial component of effective dialogue. This means not just hearing the words spoken but genuinely trying to understand the speaker’s perspective. Show that you are engaged by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and asking clarifying questions. Reflect back what you’ve heard to confirm understanding, which can help the other person feel valued and respected.
Approach with Curiosity: Instead of approaching conversations with a defensive mindset or a desire to "win" the argument, adopt a curious attitude. Ask open-ended questions to encourage deeper exploration of the other person’s views. Phrasing questions like “Can you help me understand why you feel that way?” invites dialogue and fosters an environment where both parties can express their thoughts freely.
Set Ground Rules: Establishing ground rules for discussions can create a safe space for dialogue. This may include agreements on respectful communication, refraining from personal attacks, and allowing each person time to speak without interruption. By setting these boundaries, participants can focus on understanding each other rather than escalating conflict.
Share Personal Experiences: Personal stories can humanize discussions and create emotional connections. When you share your own experiences related to a topic, it opens the door for others to do the same. This sharing fosters empathy and helps individuals see the complexities behind differing viewpoints.
Stay Calm and Composed: Emotions can run high during discussions on contentious topics. It’s essential to remain calm and composed, even if the conversation becomes heated. If you feel yourself getting frustrated or angry, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts before responding. This can prevent escalation and help maintain a constructive atmosphere.
Strategies for Finding Common Ground
Identify Shared Values: Often, people on opposing sides of an issue share underlying values, even if they differ in their approaches or beliefs. Take time to identify these shared values and articulate them during discussions. For example, if discussing healthcare, both parties may value the importance of access to quality care. Recognizing these commonalities can create a foundation for more productive dialogue.
Focus on Interests Rather Than Positions: Instead of getting entrenched in specific positions, shift the focus to the underlying interests and needs that drive those positions. For example, if two individuals disagree on a policy issue, they can discuss their common interests—such as safety, security, or well-being. This approach can lead to creative solutions that address both parties’ concerns.
Emphasize Collaborative Problem-Solving: Rather than viewing the conversation as a confrontation, frame it as a collaborative effort to solve a problem. Encourage brainstorming and exploring possible compromises that take into account the interests of all parties. This collaborative mindset fosters creativity and can lead to innovative solutions that satisfy both sides.
Seek Out Diverse Perspectives: Actively seek opportunities to engage with people from different backgrounds and viewpoints. This could involve participating in community forums, joining discussion groups, or simply reaching out to acquaintances with differing beliefs. Exposure to diverse perspectives broadens understanding and helps identify common ground.
Practice Empathy: Empathy is a powerful tool in bridging divides. Make a conscious effort to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and consider their emotions and experiences. Acknowledging the feelings behind someone’s viewpoint can foster a more respectful and compassionate dialogue, making it easier to find common ground.
Conclusion
Building bridges across divides requires commitment, patience, and a willingness to engage in constructive dialogue. By adopting practical strategies such as active listening, approaching conversations with curiosity, and seeking shared values, individuals can foster connections that transcend ideological differences. In a world marked by polarization, these efforts are essential for cultivating understanding and empathy. As we engage in dialogue and work toward common ground, we can contribute to a more unified and compassionate society. Each conversation holds the potential to transform conflict into connection, paving the way for a brighter, more harmonious future.
Conclusion
In a world increasingly characterized by division and polarization, the importance of constructive dialogue cannot be overstated. Throughout this discussion, we have explored the complexities of manufactured polarity, the dangers of groupthink, and the critical role of empathy and understanding in fostering meaningful connections. By recognizing the factors that perpetuate division and actively working to counteract them, individuals can play a vital role in bridging the gaps that separate us.
Recap of Key Takeaways
Understanding Polarization: The role of social media, sensationalized news coverage, and the manipulation of information by bad actors contributes to the growing divide in society. Recognizing these influences is the first step toward fostering meaningful dialogue.
Avoiding Groupthink: The dangers of uncritically accepting ideologies highlight the need for critical thinking and nuance in discussions. Encouraging diverse perspectives and promoting individual responsibility in thought processes are essential for breaking free from the constraints of groupthink.
Engaging in Constructive Dialogue: Practical strategies such as active listening, curiosity, and empathy are vital for fostering constructive conversations. Setting ground rules and sharing personal experiences can create a safe space for dialogue and encourage open communication.
Finding Common Ground: Emphasizing shared values and interests can help individuals navigate contentious topics and work collaboratively towards solutions. By focusing on what unites us rather than what divides us, we can cultivate understanding and connection.
Call to Action
As we move forward in this polarized landscape, I encourage everyone to take an active role in engaging in constructive dialogue. Challenge yourself to seek out conversations with those who hold differing viewpoints, listen with an open mind, and share your own experiences. Remember that every conversation is an opportunity to learn, grow, and connect with others.
Let us commit to bridging the divide by fostering empathy and understanding in our interactions, both online and offline. By doing so, we can create a more inclusive and compassionate society, where diverse perspectives are valued, and constructive dialogue thrives. Together, we have the power to transform polarization into connection and build bridges that unite us in our shared humanity.
#Polarization#Constructive Dialogue#Critical Thinking#Nuance#Groupthink#Ideology#Social Media#Manipulation#News Outlets#- Foreign Powers#Common Ground#Shared Values#Bridge-Building#Activism#Social Justice#Political Discourse#- Civil Discourse#Respectful Dialogue#Open-Mindedness#Empathy#Understanding#- Conflict Resolution#Communication Skills#Political Polarization#Social Division#Unity#Inclusivity#Diversity#Pluralism#Youtube
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50 Character Personality Traits + Meanings (For writers, worldbuilders, and artists) Part 1
Adventurous - Enjoys trying new experiences and exploring the unknown.
Ambitious - Driven to succeed and achieve their goals.
Analytical - Tends to think critically and examine things in-depth.
Artistic - Highly creative and expresses themselves through artistic mediums.
Assertive - Confident in expressing their thoughts and feelings.
Caring - Shows compassion and concern for the well-being of others.
Charismatic - Has a natural charm and appeal that draws people in.
Clever - Able to come up with creative solutions and make astute observations.
Compassionate - Displays empathy and a desire to help those in need.
Confident - Believes in their own abilities and is self-assured.
Conscientious - Reliable, responsible, and attentive to detail.
Curious - Eager to learn new things and explore the world around them.
Cynical - Tends to be skeptical and distrustful of others' motives.
Dependable - Can be counted on to follow through on their commitments.
Determined - Persistent in pursuing their goals and overcoming challenges.
Diplomatic - Skilled at navigating social situations and resolving conflicts.
Eccentric - Displays unconventional or unusual behaviors and interests.
Empathetic - Able to understand and share the feelings of others.
Ethical - Guided by a strong moral compass and a sense of right and wrong.
Extraverted - Enjoys being around people and draws energy from social interactions.
Flexible - Adaptable to changes and open to trying new approaches.
Forgiving - Willing to let go of past hurts and give people second chances.
Friendly - Approachable and enjoys building positive relationships with others.
Grounded - Practical, down-to-earth, and focused on the present.
Hardworking - Diligent and dedicated in their efforts to achieve their goals.
Honest - Values truthfulness and integrity in their words and actions.
Idealistic - Driven by a vision of how the world should be and a desire to make a difference.
Imaginative - Possesses a rich inner world and creative problem-solving abilities.
Independent - Prefers to think and act for themselves without relying on others.
Indecisive - Struggles with making decisions and often second-guesses themselves.
Introverted - Finds energy and fulfillment in solitary activities and introspection.
Jealous - Experiences feelings of resentment or insecurity towards others.
Kind - Gentle, considerate, and thoughtful in their treatment of others.
Leaders - Able to inspire and guide others towards a common goal.
Logical - Approaches problems and decisions through a rational, analytical lens.
Materialistic - Highly values the acquisition of possessions and wealth.
Organized - Maintains order and efficiency in their personal and professional life.
Perfectionistic - Strives for flawlessness and can be overly critical of themselves and others.
Pessimistic - Tends to focus on the negative aspects of situations and expect the worst.
Resilient - Able to bounce back from setbacks and adapt to changes.
Risk-taker - Willing to take chances and step outside of their comfort zone.
Sarcastic - Uses irony and witty remarks to convey their thoughts and feelings.
Sensitive - Deeply affected by the emotions and experiences of themselves and others.
Stubborn - Unwilling to change their mind or compromise on their beliefs and opinions.
Suspicious - Inclined to doubt the motives and intentions of others.
Thoughtful - Considerate of the impact their words and actions have on others.
Timid - Shy, reserved, and hesitant to take risks or assert themselves.
Trustworthy - Reliable, honest, and worthy of confidence.
Unpredictable - Displays an element of surprise and spontaneity in their behavior.
Witty - Possesses a quick, clever, and humorous way of expressing themselves.
Hey fellow writers! I'm super excited to share that I've just launched a Tumblr community. I'm inviting all of you to join my community. All you have to do is fill out this Google form, and I'll personally send you an invitation to join the Write Right Society on Tumblr! Can't wait to see your posts!
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essential soft skills for personal excellence
+ emotional intelligence: the ability to understand emotions (yours + others) with empathy and how they impact behaviour. without it you are liable to be defensive, self-centred, and experience a feeling of disconnection (from self + others).
+ resilience: how well you react when something bad happens. do you fall apart or can you navigate challenges without setting yourself back?
+ critical thinking: the ability to slow down and approach ideas with rational intelligence so that you can make thoughtful, considered decisions instead of impulsive, reactive ones.
+ adaptability: remaining flexible to the circumstances and cultivating the ability to deal with change (see also: resilience). can be more difficult if neurodivergent; they key is to be gentle + forgiving with yourself.
+ (healthy) self-discipline: doing what you need to do regardless of whether you 'feel like it' (see also: emotional intelligence, so that you're not ruled by your emotional state). remember that you can cultivate healthy discipline with gentle nurture that builds confidence over time, rather than toxic discipline that uses shame, fear, and punishment.
+ self worth: continuously building the foundational idea that you are worthy of the good life. without self worth, most attempts at self-improvement start with grandiose ideas of huge change and result in broken promises, difficulty sticking to goals, and a spiralling shame cycle.
#soft skills#personal excellence#it girl#it girl energy#that girl#becoming that girl#self improvement#self worth#self care#glow up#level up#self development#lucky girl syndrome
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How did they accidentally intimately understand the experiences of mentally ill ppl in s1??? How??? It’s gotta be cos the writers changed right
Ok bcos like, it’s not like Jinx in s1 was a good portrayal of mental illnesses in the sense that it was realistic. I’d actually argue that part of her appeal and what made her work so well is bcos she was undiagnosable. She showed many symptoms of what could be many different issues and so many ppl could relate to her on a basis of one symptom. But what they did with Jinx that made her work so well is that they seemingly understood the emotions and psychology that are shared by ppl with all types of different issues. They didn’t need to understand all the technicalities in terms of, like I said, a realistic portrayal of a specific issue. What mattered was that she felt like a really mentally ill person cos her arc dealt with the struggles of mentally ill ppl. She was portrayed to feel isolated, struggling to communicate/socialize, feeling like she was fundamentally wrong/different, like she inherently didn’t belong anywhere, frustrated with her own symptoms, having internalized guilt, a desire to be loved/accepted, feeling unlovable, trying to hide her issues/symptoms, futilely trying to fit/change her behavior to fit/pass, feeling like a failure etc.
The main betrayal of s2 when it comes to Jinx and her arc was violating that connection that ppl build with Jinx in s1. S2 Jinx is an extremely unrealistic, unrelatable and sanitized portrayal of mental issues.
99% of her symptoms disappeared after she experienced smth that would drastically exacerbate them. Are you pranking me? Is that what I’m supposed to relate to? Quick fixes were applied, like giving her Isha to fix her loneliness but 1)that’s not how raising a child while mentally ill would look like, it would make her struggles worse 2) they cease to portray crucial experiences of mental illness like feeling like you don’t belong cos your behavior is always off, these things don’t just disappear, even when ppl get better there’ll still be these moments, and that’s in a best case scenario. Like trans ppl after finishing treatment saying they got rid of 99% of their dysphoria, but never a 100%. look at how they expertly managed to portray Silco and Jinx having a close loving bond and simultaneously highlight her loneliness and isolation. So she has a kid now bcos single mothers are not famously lonely and isolated ppl right? It was a common point of criticism of Silco that Jinx not having friends amongst her peers is a really bad sign but now she still has no friends but now 1) it stopped being an issue 2) she’s also a single mother now.
The focus was switched from her being portrayed as likely born neurodivergent + traumatized to depression but specifically suicidality. it’s not like in s1 she wasn’t portrayed as depressed/suicidal and you’d think she’d become more so after s1 but that wasn’t the sole focus, but curiously it becomes so in s2. But despite this switch in focus that you’d think would stem from the writers wanting to write about their own experiences or smth that interests them that they think is important it couldn’t be clearer that the writers had zero empathy for the issues they were writing about cos it’s misery porn, a pitfall that many stories that center suicide fall into, glamorizing and romanticizing it. In s1 her worst symptoms like hallucinations were very dramatic and cool-looking visually but it was connected to this fundamental empathy, the understanding of mentally ill ppl as ppl with emotions and what those are. In s2 they drastically switch the portrayal of her issues to fit what they wanted to do with her in s2, and then proceeded to use it solely for cool and dramatic imagery/scenarios. It is completely disconnected from ppl’s real life experiences. The relatability was sacrificed for the sake of following tropes like 'death as redemption' that are supposed to be more dramatic or smth. Having her ping-pong from having no issues to having all the issues throughout the narrative.
Act1: She’s ‘dead inside’, she seems somewhat motivated at some point only for it to be revealed she was planning suicide – alright season, nice, what’s next. Act2: she’s just completely alright now from the get go, her hallucinations show up only when she first finds out Isha’s in danger. why? who knows. It’s like the writers understood that for them that would be a particularly stressful situation so they use the imagery of her illness to communicate she’s super distressed in this moment. So they used the imagery of mental illness not to convey mental illness and how it interacts with her life but as a dramatic-looking shortcut to convey a strong emotion, one that any other character would feel in this situation. Otherwise she’s doing better than she ever was, even in s1a1, and then Isha dies. Act3: so now she 100% ’wants to die’ again and it’s super depresso but then she has one conversation with Ekko and she’s again doing super good and then she dies by semi-suicide but she’s happy doing it and it’s like. beautiful? ok.
#we're at arcane's funeral#and amanda is writing sesbian lex#jinx#arcane#my:arcane#arcane s2#arcane critical
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✨️Pick a Picture: ✨️💙Who were you in your past life?💙✨️
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•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3
❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️
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💙Masterlist💙
🧡Pile 1:
You were a kind and empathetic person. From a young age, you always showed a genuine interest in others, which made you a great friend and confidant. You had an infectious laugh that brightened up any environment and an innate ability to listen. People often felt comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns with you.
Despite your optimistic nature, you also had your reflective side. You often took time to think about your experiences and emotions, which helped you grow and learn from each situation. At times, you could be a little self-critical, but you used that introspection to improve and move forward.
You were loyal and committed to your friends and family, and always willing to offer your support. You believed strongly in the importance of building meaningful relationships and being a pillar in the lives of those around you. You had a quiet and happy life, maybe in some ways you felt it was a great life but you weren't entirely satisfied; For this reason, perhaps you seek a little more time, to take more risks.
🧡Significant things: Color orange and blue, royal vibe, long blond hair, polar bears, spring season, letters, delicate handwritting, flowers, pearls.
💙Pile 2:
You lived in an environment marked by uncertainty. You grew up in a neighborhood where it was though to evolve, and the lack of opportunities seemed overwhelming. Despite this i see that you always showed curiosity about the world around you, seeking refuge in your hobbies, I think many of them had to do with writing and books.
Despite your strength, sadness always accompanied you, I feel that others did not quite undestood you. In the end, although you achieved some significant achievements, such as finishing your education and finding a job that you really liked, I feel that you were a born educator.
Life taught you hard lessons about resilience and loss, but it also led you to discover a deep empathy towards others. There's a lot of things to learn about this, start to listen to your inner voice and don't let others dictate your path.
💙Significant things: Books, Writers, 1950's-1960's, Jazz music, Owls, Brown and Green colors, curly long hair, piano, birds.
🩷Pile 3:
You felt a deep connection to the world around you. You grew up in a small town where nature played an important role in your life. As the years passed, you began to explore your spirituality. You were drawn to the teachings of different cultures and traditions, and often spent your evenings reading about philosophy and meditation.
You learned to listen to your inner voice, feeling a connection beyond the tangible. However, life also presented you with challenges. The loss of a loved one hit you deeply, leading you to question your faith and your purpose. In the midst of grief, you realized that suffering could be a path to transformation. As your life progressed, you felt more aligned with your purpose. In your later years, you found deep gratitude for each day lived.
Life had taught you that spirituality was not only a path to personal understanding, but also a way to connect with others and the universe. You felt at peace, knowing that your journey, with all its lights and shadows, had been a priceless gift. You need to start valuing your spiritual gift, maybe you accept them for granted sometimes, but they can give you the warmth you need.
🩷Significant things: Runes and Stones, violet and red color, dark hair and clear eyes, Charisma and cleverness, owls and cats, winter season, jewerly, round face, youthful look.
✨️Thank you for reading and tell me if it resonated✨️
#astrology placements#zodiac#astrology#astrology moodboard#astro blog#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#paid tarot readings#tarot and astrology#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot#pac reading#pac#pac paid reading#paid readings#fashion#tarot related#tarot requests#tarot pick a card#tarot pac#tarot pick a pile#pick a picture#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a photo#hatsune miku
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making friends is still worth it
as an extroverted individual, i have many friends. a diverse collection of people, offline and online, who support me - in many different ways. lately it's been difficult for me to put myself out there and talk to people, and hence, this post.
making new friends and meeting new people will always be 'worth it'.
worth the time. the troubles. the slight worries. this post is going to walk through the barriers i've been struggling with in meeting new people, and if you relate, should be able to help. firstly - that friendship can be seen as transactional, and secondly - that some (most) friendships are short lived.
transactional friendships
friendship can sometimes be seen as transactional, especially if individuals focus on the benefits they receive from the relationship. however, true friendship goes beyond mere transactions. it's built on mutual respect, trust, and a genuine desire to support one another.
in transactional relationships, interactions are often driven by a specific exchange of goods, services, or favors. while this can be a part of friendships, it's not the defining characteristic. authentic friendships involve emotional connections, shared experiences, and a commitment to each other's well-being without expecting something in return.
consider the difference between helping a friend move because you know they'll help you in the future (transactional) and helping them because you care about their happiness and want to support them (genuine friendship). both actions might look similar, but the underlying motivations are different.
and this is not to say that transactional friendships are bad - they simply are a different type of friendship. if you're engaging in a transactional friendship (for whatever reason), both parties typically know what to expect from each other, which can lead to more straightforward interactions.
these relationships can be practical and mutually beneficial, especially in professional or networking contexts. however, support in transactional friendships might be dependent on reciprocation, which can lead to feelings of obligation rather than genuine care.
my focus in this post is cultivating deeper, more meaningful relationships.
short-lived friendships
making friends and building a support system is essential - even if these friendships do not last forever. here's why:
every friendship brings a unique set of shared experiences that enrich our lives. these can be anything from late-night conversations, shared hobbies, travel adventures, or even just watching a movie together. these moments create lasting memories that contribute to our personal narrative. even short-term friendships leave an indelible mark, helping to shape our identity.
imagine you've moved to a new city and meet a friend at a local coffee shop. you bond over your love for art and decide to visit art galleries together. these shared experiences create lasting memories and enrich your understanding of the city's art scene. even if you eventually move away, the experiences and insights gained during that time remain with you.
during challenging times, having someone to confide in can make a significant difference. friends provide a sounding board for our thoughts and feelings, offering empathy and support that can help us navigate difficulties. the comfort and reassurance that comes from knowing someone is there for you, even temporarily, can enhance your emotional resilience and well-being.
friendships expose us to different perspectives and ideas. each friend brings their own experiences, knowledge, and worldview, which can broaden our understanding and spark new interests. these interactions foster intellectual growth and encourage us to think critically and empathetically about the world around us.
being part of a social network, even if it's not long-lasting, gives us a sense of community and belonging. this connection is vital for our mental and emotional health, as it reduces feelings of isolation and provides a sense of purpose. engaging with different groups and individuals helps us feel connected to the broader social fabric.
why don't people go out of their way to make friends? is it just me?
this is an incredible fear i get whenever i am met with no response whilst trying to build community and reach out to new people. there are several reasons why many people may not go out of their way to make new friends, including:
modern life can be incredibly busy, with work, family, and personal commitments taking up a lot of time. people often prioritize these responsibilities over socializing.
some individuals experience anxiety or discomfort in social situations, which can make it difficult for them to initiate and maintain friendships.
negative experiences in past friendships, such as betrayal or conflict, can make people wary of forming new relationships.
people tend to stick to familiar routines and environments where they feel safe and comfortable, making it less likely for them to seek out new social connections.
the rise of digital entertainment, social media, and online interactions can lead to a preference for virtual connections over face-to-face interactions.
the nature of a digital society certainly plays a role in changing how we form and maintain friendships. while technology offers convenient ways to stay connected, it can also create barriers to deeper, more meaningful interactions. online communication sometimes lacks the emotional richness and nuances of in-person conversations, which can affect the quality of friendships.
however, there are ways to build and maintain community online, including:
joining interest-based groups on platforms like tumblr, reddit, or discord can help you connect with like-minded individuals and foster a sense of community. instagram and youtube also have creator communities now!
participating in virtual events, webinars, and online meetups related to your hobbies or professional interests can help you connect with others.
using platforms like zoom, skype, or whatsapp for regular video calls and chats can help maintain and strengthen friendships, even at a distance.
working on collaborative projects or joining online clubs, such as book clubs or gaming communities, can provide opportunities to bond with others over shared activities.
while online interactions can complement face-to-face friendships, it's important to balance both to create a well-rounded social life. making an effort to connect with people, whether online or in-person, will lead to meaningful relationships and a strong support system. once again, it is very much worth it.
i hope this was helpful! ❤️nene
further resources:
tips to make friends with people you find cool
be social (a list)
instagram | pinterest | blog site
#productivity#study blog#chaotic academia#student life#it girl#becoming that girl#student#it girl aesthetic#academia#that girl#friends#friendship#nenelonomh#study#college student#uni student#university student#university#it girl energy#pinterest girl#vanilla girl#romantic academia#social#making friends#growth#personal growth
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I'm going to write a yandere x oc fanfic. So it's a bit of a slowburn where they start off as friends. What i'm focusing on rn is the fact that while they're friends, my oc never 'felt' like she cared for him, or at least formed an emotional connection. She lacks empathy and feels guilty for it, but she does her best to fulfill her role as a proper friend out of obligation. She only starts truly caring for him 2 years into the relationship after he communicated that he did care for her.
Sooo I think that she has an avoidant attachment style? So that's basically what I'm asking about, please. Or any idea what other labels you think might apply to her? (They're gonna be co-defendant asf)
Writing Notes: Avoidant Attachment Style
Some signs of an avoidant attachment style can include:
Avoidance of emotional/physical intimacy
Strong sense of independence
Uncomfortable when expressing feelings
Dismissive of others
Sending mixed signals
Hard time trusting
Commitment issues
Often spends more time alone than with others
An unrealistically positive picture of their attachment figures
A failure to build long-term relationships due to the inability to engage physically and emotionally on a deeper level
In a romantic relationship, avoidant individuals may:
Appear distant or emotionally detached
Often avoid deep emotional connections and intimacy
Emphasize boundaries
Use distancing strategies (emotional or physical)
Prioritize independence and self-reliance above emotional intimacy
Need to get away or "explodes" during a disagreement
Not make his/her intentions clear
Devalue their partner
Struggle to express their feelings or offer support to their significant other during times of distress
Suppress emotions and maintain distance in their relationship to avoid vulnerability and potential harm
This can lead to feelings of neglect or emotional abandonment on either side of the relationship.
While they might do well in maintaining boundaries and independence, their hesitance to engage emotionally can undermine the development of deeper relationships.
If your character finds themselves struggling to express their feelings or show physical affection, they may identify with an avoidant attachment style.
On Deciphering Attachment Style:
Determine whether s/he seeks intimacy and closeness.
Assess how preoccupied s/he is with the relationship and how sensitive s/he is to rejection.
Don’t rely on one “symptom,” look for various signs.
Assess his/her reaction to effective communication.
Listen and look for what he or she is not saying or doing.
Common Avoidant Thoughts, Emotions, and Reactions
THOUGHTS
All-or-nothing thinking: I knew s/he wasn’t right for me, this proves it!
Overgeneralizing: I knew I wasn’t made to be in a close relationship.
Malicious intent: S/he’s really out to annoy me, it’s so obvious…
Fantasizing about having sex with other people.
"S/he’s taking over my life, I can’t take it!"
"Now I have to do everything his/her way; the price is too high."
"I need to get out of here, I feel suffocated."
"If s/he was “the one” this kind of thing wouldn’t happen."
"When I was with (phantom X) this wouldn’t have happened."
"S/he just wants to tie me down, this isn’t true love."
"I’ll be better off on my own."
"Ugh, s/he’s so needy! It’s pathetic."
EMOTIONS
Withdrawn ⚜ Frustrated ⚜ Angry ⚜ Pressured ⚜ Distrustful
Unappreciated ⚜ Misunderstood ⚜ Resentful ⚜ Hostile
Aloof ⚜ Empty ⚜ Deceived ⚜ Tense ⚜ Hate-filled ⚜ Restless
Self-righteous ⚜ Contemptuous ⚜ Despairing ⚜ Scornful
ACTIONS
Act out ⚜ Get up and leave ⚜ Belittle their partner
Act hostile, look disdainful ⚜ Make critical remarks
Withdraw mentally or physically ⚜ Minimize physical contact
Keep emotional sharing to a minimum
Stop listening to partner. Ignoring him/her.
POSSIBLE CAUSES
Primary caregivers were emotionally distant or dismissive of the person's needs in childhood. An avoidant individual often then learns to cope by suppressing their emotions and developing self-sufficiency.
Initially it was assumed that adult attachment styles were primarily a product of our upbringing. Thus, it was hypothesized that our current attachment style is determined by the way in which we were cared for as a baby (e.g., if parents/caregivers were distant, rigid, and unresponsive, the child should develop an avoidant attachment style).
Today, however, we know that attachment styles in adulthood are influenced by a variety of factors, one of which is the way our parents cared for us, but other factors also come into play, including our genes and life experiences.
Here are a few tips you can incorporate in your character's storyline to potentially change this style of attachment:
They start with communication (open communication is the foundation of a strong relationship)
Establish boundaries with their partner
Write down their own emotions and feelings throughout the day
Approach their relationship as a team and work together
Sources: 1 2 3 4 ⚜ More: On Attachment ⚜ Writing References
From what you described, avoidant attachment sounds about right. But as the writer, you know more about the character, like their backstory. Do you think they fit this attachment style? A good reminder when we use these psychological models: Attachment theorists assume that the relationship between early experiences and subsequent outcomes is probabilistic, NOT deterministic. Use these notes as one reference/guide as you develop your characters. Hope this helps with your writing!
#avoidant attachment#writing reference#attachment#psychology#writeblr#writing notes#studyblr#literature#writers on tumblr#dark academia#spilled ink#writing prompt#light academia#fiction#writing resources
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Look, one of my most basic parenting tips: research backs this up, but tbh all I need is my personal experience. If a child does something wrong, and you apply a punishment, their focus is IMMEDIATELY completely on the punishment. You've totally wrecked your chance to actually talk about what was wrong and build empathy or critical thinking or whatever is necessary to actually prevent the problem from happening again. Punishment completely torpedoes learning, and I don't know about you but what I actually want is for my kids to learn to do better.
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Ways a wife can contribute to a happy, Christ-centered marriage by nurturing love, respect, and joyful service to her husband:
1. Pray together and individually
• Pray for your husband’s needs, spiritual growth, and guidance. Pray together regularly, inviting God into every aspect of your marriage.
2. Communicate with Love and Respect
• Share openly and kindly, and listen with empathy. Respect his thoughts and opinions, honoring his role as a leader in the home.
3. Prepare His Lunch or Favorite Meals
• Pack a nutritious lunch for him to take to work or surprise him with his favorite dinner. This simple act shows care and appreciation.
4. Maintain a Clean and Peaceful Home
• Create a relaxing environment by keeping the home tidy and welcoming. Organize spaces that matter to him, like his favorite chair or workspace.
5. Encourage and Uplift Him
• Speak words of encouragement, recognize his strengths, and affirm his leadership. Avoid criticism, and let your words be a source of strength and comfort.
6. Show Physical Affection and Care
• Express love through small gestures, a gentle touch, or quality time. Physical closeness helps strengthen your emotional connection.
7. Practice Patience and Forgiveness
• Be quick to forgive mistakes and approach disagreements with patience and grace. Reflect Christ’s love by prioritizing unity over proving a point.
8. Welcome Him Home Warmly
• Greet him warmly, showing excitement to see him. This simple gesture helps set a peaceful and positive tone for his evening.
9. Support His Work and Hobbies
• Show interest in his work or hobbies, offering encouragement and helping when you can. Your support reinforces his value to you.
10. Align with His Vision and Decisions
• Seek to understand and support his vision for the family, discussing decisions in a way that respects his role as head of the household.
11. Run Errands or Handle Tasks He Dislikes
• Take on errands or tasks he dislikes, such as grocery shopping or car maintenance, to lighten his load and show you’re thinking of him.
12. Cultivate a Cheerful Heart and Gratitude
• Approach marriage with joy and gratitude for your partnership. Let thankfulness be evident in your actions and attitude.
13. Be Intentional in Physical Affection
• Give hugs, a kiss on the cheek, or a back rub after a long day to make him feel valued and appreciated. Regular lovemaking is also recommended!
14. Model Christ’s Love and Kindness
• Be a daily example of Christ’s love through kindness, patience, and compassion. Build him up with gentle words and actions.
15. Stay Rooted in God’s Word Together
• Study the Bible together to grow spiritually and strengthen your marriage. When both partners are aligned with God’s Word, you share a foundation for love and purpose.
16. Take Care of Household Chores Thoughtfully
• Handle regular household tasks that he appreciates, like laundry, dishes, or organizing, to create a peaceful and comfortable home environment.
17. Celebrate His Accomplishments
• Acknowledge his achievements, big or small, and celebrate them together. This helps him feel seen and appreciated.
18. Encourage His Relationship with God
• Pray for him and encourage his spiritual growth. This support strengthens both his faith and your bond.
19. Express Appreciation Through Notes or Texts
• Leave thoughtful notes in his lunch or send an encouraging text during the day. Simple reminders of love brighten his day.
20. Plan Date Nights and Special Moments
• Plan date nights or small surprises, even at home, to keep the romance alive and show your commitment to nurturing your relationship.
21. Cook Meals that Support His Health
• Prepare healthy, balanced meals that align with his dietary needs or preferences, showing care for his well-being.
22. Offer to Pray for His Specific Needs
• Ask if there’s anything specific you can pray for and take time each day to lift those needs up.
23. Be Available for Quality Time
• Dedicate time to him free from distractions. Whether it’s watching a show, taking a walk, or just listening, be present and engaged.
By serving, supporting, and loving your husband in these ways, you’ll contribute to a marriage that reflects Christ’s love and builds a joyful, nurturing partnership. 🌷
#tradblr#traditional femininity#traditional gender roles#traditional relationships#ex feminist#tradfem#traditional family#traditional wife#tradmen#trad wife#traditional man#christian marriage#married submisive#biblical marriage#traditional marriage#marriage#traditional values#traditionalism#tradwife#wholesome trad#biblical womanhood#anti birth control#children are a blessing#i love my husband#based
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I Refuse to Live in Fear: Choosing Courage and Compassion in a Divided World
I know so many people are feeling afraid right now, but I refuse. We can choose to approach our fears, each other, our issues, and our differences with courage and compassion.
In a world filled with fear and division, I refuse to live in fear. This article explores how we can rise above fear, embrace critical thinking, and engage with others respectfully, fostering empathy and understanding in a polarized society. When I started Wisterian Woman, I swore I wouldn’t get political. I still won’t, at least not in the way we typically think of politics. But one thing…
#addressing fear#addressing fear in society#addressing political fear#anxiety#bridging ideological divides#building bridges#building empathy#combating fear#combating fear-driven politics#confronting fear#critical thinking#critical thinking in politics#cultural fear#cultural understanding#embracing difference#embracing diversity#embracing uncertainty#emotional intelligence#empathy and communication#empathy in politics#fear#fear and communication#fear and communication skills#fear and compassion#fear and democracy#fear and division#fear and divisiveness#fear and empathy#fear and health#fear and human connection
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My dear lgbt+ kids,
An underrated health and wellbeing tool is play.
When you think about playing, you may immediately picture little children - but by definition, play describes “any activity engaged in purely for enjoyment and recreation with no definite practical purpose” and those activities stay important throughout your whole life.
Why are those activities important?
Play is good for your body. Intentionally doing something just for fun helps to activate the “rest and digest” mode that is necessary to recover and heal from stress. It signals that you’re safe and helps your body relieve tension.
It’s also good for your brain. It can stimulate your imagination, visualization and critical thinking skills, which can help you build skills like resilience and adaptability.
Play can also foster empathy and understanding of others as it can help you see things from another’s perspective.
Playing can make you laugh, and laughter comes with a whole sleeve of health benefits, such as decreasing blood pressure and even improving your immune system!
Playing together can strengthen relationships. Positive, fun social interactions are important for your emotional wellbeing.
Now some of you may think “that’s all nice, but how do I even play as an adult?”. While play is a natural behavior of human beings, many adults need to re-learn how to play - it depends on your specific environment and social circles but you may feel a lot of pressure to be productive all the time and play is by its very nature not productive. So, the first step in re-learning play is to give yourself permission to just *be* instead of *do* (and that can be a huge step!).
Some ideas on how to ease back into play:
Think about your childhood. (Or if you can, ask a parent, sibling or childhood friend, that can be a great way to bring back memories!) What were your favorite ways to play back then? What did you love about your favorite game? Does any particular memory immediately give you that “I wish I could do that again” feeling? (You may not necessarily find anything that you want to just replicate as an adult as-is, this is just meant to kick-start your imagination!)
Gameify everyday tasks. Try to spot as many yellow items as possible on your commute to work. Make up a silly song about laundry while putting away the laundry. Pretend to be on a cooking show while making dinner. Do what you always do, just allow yourself to be silly about it!
Do something creative, even (and especially) if you’re not good at it. You may not think of drawing, writing etc. as playing but those are activities you can do for pure entertainment!
Moving your body doesn’t need to be purposeful exercise (and certainly not hating yourself in the gym), it can also be playtime: Do a silly little dance to your favorite song! Tippytoe, crawl, jump, walk backward.. from your bedroom to the kitchen, just for the fun of it!
Rethink toys. While it is fully okay for a grownup to buy, own and play with toys, and we should abolish the negative stereotypes about it (it’s creepy, it’s inherently a sign of poor mental health etc.) these stereotypes do exist and you may simply not feel comfortable. Luckily, there are a few toys that are generally considered socially acceptable for adults or are even marketed towards adults, such as board games, stress balls, adult coloring books, certain Lego sets or fan/collectors toys (like action figures). And when there are no judgy eyes watching, you may also have fun just playing with household items such as cardboard rolls! No need to go out and buy something!
Keep in mind that play isn’t a competition to win. You can’t play wrong - that’s the beauty of it! Just let your curiosity and enthusiasm guide you.
With all my love,
Your Tumblr Dad
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Why Timebomb shouldn't exist in s2 (part 2 - Jinx)
Part 1 - Ekko Part 3 - Relationship
I already had a post saying that s2 Jinx is an OOC. The fact that creators decided to almost fully remove/magically solve her mental issues completely ruins her character and her arc in s1.
But we don't really care about character images, right? All that matters is that they should be together. No care about their disclosure (Ekko), no care about global reshaping of the character (Jinx), no care about complexity and nuances of their relationship, no care about everything - just confirm their couple as canon and make them kiss.
In section about Jinx, I'd like remind you what she was like in s1 (it's important):
saw hallucinations and heard voices of dead people;
killed enforcers without a hint of remorse or empathy;
killed firelights without a hint of remorse or empathy;
enjoyed the battle/killing ppl, getting so excited that she almost injured Vi;
killed a crow;
didn't think about Ekko at all except for the moment of their clash (neither before nor after - 0 thoughts about him - and in s2 too by the way);
almost killed Ekko by detonating a bomb.
So it's funny to hear Jinx to say "there is no good version of me," because s2 Jinx is literally a good version of herself, because suddenly all "bad" things that her character had in s1 are practically gone!
Which, by the way, fits perfectly with my vision of how to write romance with a character like Jinx. As for me, there are two options: 1) where another character will accept her for who she is. Such a character should be like herself or worse i believe. 2) where Jinx loses her character traits. This is exactly Ekko option shown in the show. And i'm not even talking about her mental issues, but about her apathy, cruelty and desire to destroy. These are traits that need to be "fixed" so that Ekko can build a relationship with her.
Ekko can't go with the first option, because then he will become an OOC, since he is a good guy. Although it will not be as critical with him as with Jinx, because, I repeat, his identity hasn't been so well disclosed, so there is room for maneuver. For example, through hardening Ekko by burning the Tree by enforcers and directing Jinx's cruelty only towards Piltover. That wouldn't change her character much, and it would belogical that Ekko will be okay with killing, because enforcers will become his main enemies.
There may be some other options that I don't see because I don't ship these two, but even if there are, it would take a huge amount of screen time to implement them correctly due to the data that was established in s1.
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