#soft skills

[thesophistiicate]

essential soft skills for personal excellence

+ emotional intelligence: the ability to understand emotions (yours + others) with empathy and how they impact behaviour. without it you are liable to be defensive, self-centred, and experience a feeling of disconnection (from self + others).

+ resilience: how well you react when something bad happens. do you fall apart or can you navigate challenges without setting yourself back?

+ critical thinking: the ability to slow down and approach ideas with rational intelligence so that you can make thoughtful, considered decisions instead of impulsive, reactive ones.

+ adaptability: remaining flexible to the circumstances and cultivating the ability to deal with change (see also: resilience). can be more difficult if neurodivergent; they key is to be gentle + forgiving with yourself.

+ (healthy) self-discipline: doing what you need to do regardless of whether you 'feel like it' (see also: emotional intelligence, so that you're not ruled by your emotional state). remember that you can cultivate healthy discipline with gentle nurture that builds confidence over time, rather than toxic discipline that uses shame, fear, and punishment.

+ self worth: continuously building the foundational idea that you are worthy of the good life. without self worth, most attempts at self-improvement start with grandiose ideas of huge change and result in broken promises, difficulty sticking to goals, and a spiralling shame cycle.

[utopicwork]

Working with ADHD basically guarantees a reputation as unreliable. This article has a few tips on managing that in a tech context.

[leximicham]

Friendship as a Force Multiplier

I wrote a preface (read: rant) about this but I want the methods below to stand on their own. Feel free to read it. Or not. I'm not a cop.

The below terms are meant to be ways that you can help others or ask for help from others with increasing productivity. These are execution skills as in they allow you to execute on tasks and get shit done. Skills; not crutches, not cheats or hacks, and not anything else which you might feel ashamed of. People want to help you and you probably want to help people get more done so let's build these skills together.

Task Activation

Sitting down with someone for 5-10 minutes to help one of you focus on a task long enough to build momentum or "flow state". Go to a designated workspace together, clear and otherwise prepare said workspace, pull out/open the tool of choice for this task, talk about the goals of the current big thing, start working for 5 minutes. Task Activation complete! The helper can go back to whatever they were doing. The tasker can either continue working if the activation has put them in flow state or they can go back to the drawing board because there may be unforeseen roadblocks or this may just have been the wrong day to do work or the wrong task to work on. Cost of this Task Activation? 5-10 minutes from 2 people and hanging out with a cool person. Cost of trying again if the first activation failed? The exact same.

Rubber Ducking

An intimate (/s) roleplay experience where one person plays the role of an expert trying to suss out a path through a complicated problem and the other person roleplays an inanimate object. Maybe the first player drops the mask and steps away to search for something on the internet because they need more expertise than they're ready to act out. Maybe the second player breaks character by asking helpful questions to set the first player back on track through their musings. Or maybe the forget that rubber ducks can't play Pokemon on their Switch while someone is talking at them. This is a safe space, there are no judgements if everyone's having a good time.

Body Doubling

Very similar to Rubber Ducking but with structure and tomato shaped egg timers. And less talking. Read up on the Pomodoro Technique if you're not familiar. One person (at least) gathers one other person (at least) to sit in a room with a timer and strict expectations about how long productivity periods and break periods last. I like 25 minutes of working and 10 minutes of break. Don't let productivity spill into breaks. Don't forget to keep planning your tasks and future working cycles. Don't shame anyone for playing Pokemon on their Switch during productivity cycles - rest can be productive, too. Avoid disturbing other people during productivity periods except with time checks, cries of victory, or reminders to not beat heads against walls or keyboards. Task Activation can lead into Body Doubling. Body Doubling can be paused for Rubber Ducking. All bodies involved should be breathing.

Paired Productivity

This is just Pair Programming but with a conjugation and more generalized activity term change. Two people enter (a prepared and organized workspace), they have a task or two which they've both agreed to work on, one has the tools to perform the task, the other has a device which can search the internet, they do work, two people leave. Tomato shaped egg timers are encouraged. Rubber Ducking may occur. One person attempts to do the task while discussing the steps, actions, and open questions with the other. The other person checks work, researches particularly difficult questions, and does not touch the tool for this task. Trading roles at predetermined times is fine. I recommend that the more experienced person give the less experienced person more time working with the tool. Take breaks if either the task or other person wears you out.

Task Dump

Giving someone a pen and paper and making them write out every worry, chore, deliverable, past due library book, and passion project idea they have until they start remembering missed homework assignments from the last school they graduated from. Alternatively: be the person who has a pen and paper thrust upon them. Getting Things Done (this is a book and paid coaching program but the link gives a good synopsis) teaches that the worst place to store information and to-dos is your brain. We forget things and we worry about forgetting things. We feel pressure when tasks are a cloud of associations and worries about missed deadline repercussions or would've, could've, should'ves for how our life might have been if we'd done this important task yesterday instead of playing Pokemon on our Switch. We must always forgive our past selves, accept our present selves, and be kind to our future selves. Once a task is on that list it's a future item and past us is off the hook. Having everything listed in front of us helps us figure out and accept the current state of the world. Determining next steps gives our future self the best chance of being proud of themself for accomplishing cool and important stuff. It's hard to say what to do with the big list of tasks from your brain once you have it. This isn't a planning or project management guide and I haven't written one (yet). It's up to you what you do with the list but I guarantee that you'll be in a healthier place when you can see everything on paper instead of listening to the tasks and worries buzz angrily around your head. Here's some suggestions to get you started:

Separate the hastily scrawled list into several lists based on themes:

work

hobbies

errands

passion projects

gifts for the wonderful friend helping you with this

Stack rank things based on a combination of urgency and importance:

Capture the bug which just landed on the corner of your desk?

High urgency (it's gonna fly away!)

Low importance (unless you eat bugs?)

Figuring out where to send humanity in the cosmos when our sun inevitably expands?

Very high importance (we need to live somewhere not inside the sun)

Very low urgency (we hope...)

Figuring out what you're going to eat for your next meal?

Medium-high importance (don't forget to eat!)

Medium-high urgency (you've forgotten to eat while reading this post, haven't you?)

Do this one!

My main suggestion is just to learn to do this Task Dump regularly. This is a tool which you can use in response to "oh no, my head is full of things to do and I don't like it!" You can cross things off the old list or add them to another system but at the end of the day writing things down helps. Keep your old lists around and rewrite them but skip things which are done or that you've decided you don't need to worry about anymore. Add new things. Observing and measuring your task load like this will eventually get you taking on more manageable loads and prioritizing things (with your Task Dump buddy) and feeling really accomplished.

Kind Interrupt

This is not a planned event. If you see someone you care about is hyper fixating on something but making no progress because they're just spinning their wheels and banging their head against a wall then there's actions you can take to help. Breaks are important so you want them to step away at least for a little bit. It's important to be careful not to force someone away from something that they're stuck on, though. You also want to avoid guilting them; they probably already know if they're running late or not making a lot of progress. Try replacements and simple choices: "Would you like to go for a walk or would you rather get a snack and something to drink with me?" Don't shy away from sharing your needs, though. If you need this person to do something else for you then don't shy away from that. Focus on the help, "Can you help me get ready to go?" or "Can I get your help with this task?" Helping people is stimulating and you shouldn't underestimate how much people in your life want to help you.

This list was originally 5 skills until my "15 minute blogpost" became 3 hours and my wives had to rescue me to work on other things.

That's it for now. Read this with someone who you want to unblock or who you know is willing to help unblock you. Become force multipliers together. Keep this in your back pocket for a bad executive function day. Steal it for your own blogpost or website but please give credit to the trans and ungovernable catgirl, Lexi Micham. Have a nice day!

[tlbodine]

Socializing 2.0 - Talking to People Who Are Upset

I was trying to write this as a reblog to my other "how to socialize" post and it keeps glitching out, which is very irritating. So here, let's try it on its own post.

Last time I talked about some tips for making small talk, and some scripts/talking points for how to show interest in what people are saying even if the topic doesn't excite you.

Now, I want to talk about a different scenario that can be really challenging for everybody (but, I think even harder for folks who don't come by empathy easily). Which is: How do you talk to somebody who is upset or having a tough time? How do you express sympathy without making the thing about you and your feelings?

While I'm by no means an expert at this, and I can't claim I've got the solution for every scenario you might encounter, I do have some tips and techniques that have helped me along the way and hopefully they can prove useful to you, too.

STEP ONE: Identifying that a person is upset

Sometimes it's very easy to tell that someone is upset, because they will yell "ARGH I AM SO MAD ABOUT THIS!!!" or they will be crying or some other obvious outward sign. Other times, though, it can be kind of tricky to tell. It's even harder in text, where you sometimes have to guess whether someone is jokingly mad or mad-mad when they post keysmashes, all caps, angry emojis, etc etc.. Folks also sometimes deflect from their actual emotions by joking them off. Or they'll say something you feel is alarming, but then don't act like it's a big deal.

People are complicated, in other words. So it's OK if you get this wrong sometimes. Everybody does.

In general, some signs that people might have something the matter:

Obvious outward expression of emotion (yelling, crying)

Acting more withdrawn or subdued than normal

Appearing distracted or disengaged

Looking more disheveled than usual

Acting unusually rambunctious or like they're compensating

If you notice somebody seems upset but you're not 100% sure, you have a few options:

Politely ignore it.

Let them bring it up if they want to. This is a safe bet if you are not very close -- ie, they're strangers, coworkers, acquaintances etc. HOWEVER, if you choose this route, you can still do this person a kindness by not imposing on them.

For example, if your coworker seems upset about something and you have a question about the job, could you ask someone else instead of approaching upset coworker? Could you quietly do them a favor? For example, could you offer to take over for them at the register and let them work in the back? Offer to watch things while they take a break? Small kindnesses can make a big difference in someone's day. It's not always possible, but it's nice when you can!

If nothing else, try to avoid dumping anything on them while they seem upset. If you're also having a shit day, you can probably find someone else to rant to.

Ask if they're okay.

This is more appropriate if you have a rapport with the person. If they are your friend or romantic partner, or if you have a rapport with them and want to express that you care, it's probably best to acknowledge that you've noticed something is wrong. Avoid saying anything that might be perceived as aggressive; don't way "What's wrong" or (even worse) "What's wrong with you?" Instead, try, "Is everything okay? You seem a little down today."

They may respond:

I'm just a little tired

I'm kind of distracted

What? Oh, haha, no, I'm fine...

Sometimes they mean this at face value, but more often what they actually are communicating is "I'm not OK but I don't feel comfortable talking about it."

That's fine. Don't pry. Drop the subject, and proceed as above -- politely ignore their perceived signs of discomfort, but be kind to them and avoid dumping anything on them unnecessarily.

Do not be surprised or alarmed if, after some time has passed, they come back around to reopen the subject and start to open up about whatever is bothering them. Then again, don't take it personally if you never figure out what the deal was. Maybe they really did just have a headache. Maybe they had an issue they figured out on their own. Either way, it's no longer your problem.

(note: this is a little more complicated if it's someone you live with and it goes on for a while, but that scenario is out of scope for this post).

STEP TWO: They Told Me They're Upset

Okay! So whether you started here with them, or this just came up after you asked if things were ok, you now have confirmed that a person is upset!

If they tell you the gist of what's going on, it's a good idea to acknowledge it. But stay fairly neutral about it and avoid value judgments.

For example: "My grandpa died"

An appropriate response might be, "I'm sorry to hear that" or "Oh jeez, I'm sorry :("

Some other great all-purpose responses when someone says something bad happened are: "Dude, that sucks :(" and "oh no!" or "oof."

Next -- and this is really important -- you should follow up by asking, "Do you want to talk about it?"

(you can also use that question any time someone says something vague like "I had a shitty day today" or "I'm so pissed off.")

If they say no, they don't want to talk about it, follow up with, "Well, let me know if there's anything I can do." And then, ideally, volunteer a couple options of things you can do, depending on your relationship and what you are capable of doing: cover their shift, approve their time off, take care of a chore, listen if they change their mind.

If they DO want to talk about it, by all means, let them talk.

Ask if they would like advice or if they just want to get it off their chest. If they don't ask for advice, don't give them any.

Use your active listening skills and ask questions. Avoid prying or traumatic questions, but don't be shocked if you receive more intensive answers than you expected. A safe question to ask when someone says someone died is to say, "Were you close?" or if a pet died, "How long did you have them?"

Validate their emotions, but avoid bringing your own judgments to the table unless they ask for your honest opinion. For example, if someone is ranting about their romantic partner, it's cool to say, "I'm sorry that happened. You shouldn't have to put up with that." but it's not so cool to say "Your SO sounds like a dick, you should leave them."

Ask if they would like a distraction or to be cheered up. If you're in person, and you're amenable to the task, "Do you want a hug?" is also acceptable. (just respect whatever they said).

You'll want to be mindful of your energy. I personally have the best luck with projecting calm, neutral, slightly joke-y vibes. "It do be like that" and "Dude, that sucks" delivered with some genuine warmth in your tone or an empathetic emoji can go a long way.

STEP THREE: How to Not Make It About You

There are a few ways you can unintentionally make something be about you when someone else brings up something that's upsetting them:

One-upping them. "That's nothing. This one time, I had...."

Invalidating them or passing judgment. "That's not a big deal" or "What an asshole!" (you can agree with them that someone is being a dick, bit they need to be the one who says it first)

Trying to relate to them by telling a story about your own experiences, which ends up taking a really long time, or puts them in the awkward position of feeling like they have to comfort you.

OK. So a couple things.

Relating to people with relatable experiences is not a bad thing! In fact sometimes it can be really helpful! HOWEVER if you go that route you need to be really cautious of a couple points:

The story needs to be brief and stick only to the most relevant details. it's FINE if you don't provide the full absolute context of the entire scenario. You just need to tell them the relatable part, and then relate that back to them and how they are feeling.

For example:

"I'm so sorry to hear your dog died. I had to put my cat to sleep last year and I remember how guilty I felt, worrying whether I waited too long. Did you have a lot of time to prepare with your dog or was it pretty sudden?"

This is good! Here you are relaying information that you understand some of what they're going through, introduce an emotion that may or may not resonate with them, and then hand the conversation back to them with a question. Now they might tell you all about how, yes, they worried about that same thing too! Or no, their thing was really sudden and unexpected. Or whatever they tell you!

Then you can respond to that thing like, "Oh wow, I can't imagine how rough that must have been." or "Jeez, that's so hard. How are the kids taking it?" or whatever else seems appropriate in that moment.

STEP FOUR: OK But Now They Won't Shut Up About It?

One downside to expressing concern in other people's affairs is that this can sometimes mark you as their new confidant, purely because people so rarely just listen and care about other people.

If it's just the occasional bit of ranting, it's probably fine to just let them do their thing. And if they're coming to you to rant and off-load their stuff, then it's probably fine and expected that you can respond in time and maybe you guys are just ranting buddies.

But if you end up in a scenario where they can ALWAYS complain about their thing, but you can NEVER complain about your thing, that is a toxic dynamic! That requires some intervention! Friendship cannot be built on that foundation.

If you've expressed your condolences or listened to someone rant about whatever is pissing them off and you feel you have nothing more to offer the conversation, you can just say that: "I don't know what else to say, really. It's a tough situation and I hope it gets better for you."

And then you can just. Exit the conversation.

Some additional lines to keep in your back pocket include:

"I think that's beyond my pay grade to help with. Have you spoken with (a therapist/counselor/clergy member/whatever)?"

"That's so frustrating! You should definitely go talk to (the person they are complaining about) about that."

"Well, if you ever need someone to (specific thing you actually are willing to do), let me know."

Being kind to people and showing concern for their problems does not mean you have to become an unpaid therapist or doormat. You get to maintain boundaries about that stuff.

Anyway! This is super long! There is so much more I could get into here but I'll leave it at that. I hope this is in some way helpful to you.

[asaraviapt]

[EN] How to Follow Folks On LinkedIn Who Don’t Repeat “Rejection is Redirection.”

Lord give me patience–if I hear one more person telling me that “rejection is redirection” I’m blocking them before Twitter takes away the feature. 

… Okay, that may be extreme–but I want to start off this post by asking folks to refrain from that advice. I don’t have to remind other game developers how messed up the job market is, but I can say this much: I know a thing or two about job hunting. 

It takes time. Patience–a lot of it. Some studios ghost their applicants, others spend four months debating on who to grant that first interview–without guaranteeing a second or third round. Having been both a recruiter (and currently searching for a writing role) I picked up a few bits of trivia that I wish to share with others. 

First: Remote Networking Events:

Discord is going to be your best friend, along with other tools. It’s accessible, and offers a more casual environment than LinkedIn. Before naming a few networking events, here’s a few things to bear in mind:

Always have either a Sticky Note or WordPad that includes your preferred name, pronouns, a brief two to three sentence introduction on who you are and what sets you apart, along with your social media links and portfolio for potential recruiters to reach out to you. 

Take a deep breath. I know it can be daunting to put yourself out there, but in a job market full of so much competition, it’s the best way to gain an upper hand. 

Set up reminders and be efficient. 

Remember that everyone is human. This may sound like a weird one, but you’d be surprised at how often folks place game developers on a pedestal either because of the studio they work in, the awards they have won, etcetera etcetera. The best conversations and connections emerge from just relaxing and having a fun time with folks! 

Eventbrite.com Go on www.eventbrite.com and include the “remote” filters and free admission. Add key words such as “game developer meeting” or “game developer networking” for example. If you wish to get more specific, add the title you wish to have and see if you can meet folks who specialize in your field who can offer advice on how to break into the field. 

PowerToFly. Here, you can upload your resume and state where in the tech industry you would want to specialize in.

THIS WEEK they will have an event featuring to assist folx with visible and invisible disabilities from August 23, 2023 until August 24, 2023. You can sign up here: https://powertofly.com/events/virtual-job-fair/?utm_campaign=Sunday%20B2C%20Newsletter&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=270953365&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_HrFZZIbObYArT2rnkBkTW0QMv-gHNY9LDc0LIp0pfCuFHnk01A0sqaz1W7KeYORbvHtSVX7R0gO4XKS_MfGeRqYdpog&utm_content=270926294&utm_source=hs_email

Similarly, there are events hosted by PowerToFly for members of the LGTBQIA+ community, the BIPOC community--all of which are free, the calendar with the dates is on their website.

LinkedIn Audio Events. These are great events to not only meet recruiters and employers from various studios, but also greet other fellow job hunters. The best part about this industry is the camaraderie and support–find someone who could give you a job, or find someone who could give you tips on improving your resume. 

List of LinkedIn Creators with Events: 

Aida Figuerola (https://www.linkedin.com/in/afiguerola/) 

Upcoming Event on August 22, 2023: https://www.linkedin.com/events/gamingbackstage-de-iwithjasmina7097554161021415424/

Justin Williams 

Previous Event: (Remember you can rewatch it, and take note of the advice provided by recruiters in AAA studios!) https://www.linkedin.com/in/justinalanwilliams/recent-activity/all/ 

Amir Satvat (https://www.linkedin.com/in/amirsatvat/)   

Amir has the Amir Awards, and often features creators helping the video game industry–additionally, he has an organized spreadsheet with video game job openings AND mentorship opportunities. 

Here is a link to the job directory from August 13, 2023. You’ll notice how often he updates it. https://www.linkedin.com/posts/amirsatvat_friends-i-am-pleased-to-present-the-august-activity-7096622772239388672-dCRh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_desktop

If you are job hunting, you can submit your most recent/updated resume–there are recruiters and employers that observe Amir’s database to find candidates. .

Last but not least, there is a network of mentors willing to help with specialized fields, giving industry advice, resume writing assistance and more–all of the details are on Amir’s page and posts. 

Arin Goldsmith (https://www.linkedin.com/in/arin-goldsmith/)

Previous Event: (https://www.linkedin.com/events/7090354190849323009/comments)/

A unique component in the gaming industry is how professionals are encouraged to have their own brands–and Arin provides excellent advice. When searching for a job, it helps having a platform so that whenever someone is looking for a game developer, they know they have to reach you because only you can do a certain thing–and that’s what should be on your portfolio, brand, etc. 

Though not a recruiter, Arin also provides excellent advice to folks who have 0 experience in the gaming industry but wish to use their transferable skills in the development of video games. 

List of Creators on Twitter With Great Advice: 

A brief sidenote: hashtags will be your friend when looking for jobs. Every social media platform has an algorithm that detects what content you interact with the most, so if you constantly like posts from recruiters, or posts that have keywords like your dream job title, department, field of study–those posts will be pushed to your feed more often than others. 

Some platforms allow you to follow hashtags and set up alarms–so, follow the hashtags involving your field of study and see a few freelancing opportunities come up!

Okay, now about creators:

Javiera Cordero: An amazing producer, Javiera created a Notion template that has saved my life–and job opportunities. 

The link is: https://javieracordero.notion.site/Job-Application-Manager-fce5406854f0475aa21d5fcd9fa5e668

It has several categories including “preparing”, “applied”, and “interviewing.”

Additionally, there are:

Cover Letter samples.

Dozens of job sites.

Websites for marginalized communities.

Possible Interview Questions

And more! (gracias Javiera <3)

Should I post “that”?

“My journey with X has ended.” “Unfortunately, I have been affected by layoffs.” “I’ve been trying to keep it together for the past few months, but I need help…”

Posts of this nature have increased exponentially. I’ve had to write some–and I encourage everyone to do the same, and I know it is not easy.

It’s not easy to be vulnerable, especially in front of many professionals.

But some of them may be your future coworkers–if you need help, tell your network. Not to mention, that if you have not come across a job for a while this lets recruiters know why there is a gap on your resume. It was not due to a gap year, it was due to a recession and a million other things. 

How do I reach out?

Reach out to folks who are in a role similar to what you are striving towards. As a narrative designer, I often try to connect with other narrative designers–mainly because they have the best dad jokes and D&D campaigns, but I digress. 

Apply to as many studios as you can, then head to LinkedIn. Look up the studio, and see if there are any of the following:

Alumni from your alma mater. 

Folks in your specialized field.* 

Mutual Connections. 

First, reach out to mutual connections. See if they are willing to introduce you to someone in the studio you just applied. Or, try and meet up with someone who you went to school with��share stories and inside jokes from the institution, and if the subject of employment comes up, use that as a segue to explain your situation. 

Do not cold call people with messages like, “Do you have a job for me?” It’s not a good look–and, again, people are human. They will know when they are being contacted because of their job title–so avoid that. 

*Yes, there is a lot of support in the gaming community. But it does not always happen–sometimes, if someone has little to no social media presence, no profile picture it may be for a reason. Understand that there are times where game developers are, unfortunately, treated poorly by gamers and decide to limit what messages they can accept. It’s all about getting a hint, basically–but digitally.

Anyways, be nice! Don’t weird any game developers out and get that job. 

[absolute-chaotician]

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence consists of five basic emotional and social competencies:

SELF-AWARENESS. Recognizing moods, emotions, and drives. Using emotions to guide decision-making. Realistically assessing abilities and confidence levels.

SELF-REGULATION. Handling emotions to facilitate task performance. Delaying gratification and redirecting impulses to achieve goals. Being conscientious. Recovering from emotional distress.

MOTIVATION. Taking initiative. Striving to improve. Persevering through setbacks. Understanding preferences to move toward goals.

EMPATHY. Sensing other peoples' feelings. Understanding others' perspectives. Establishing rapport with people.

SOCIAL SKILLS. Accurately reading social situations. Interacting smoothly with other people. Handling emotions in relationships. Using social skills to persuade, lead, negotiate, and resolve conflict.

[digitalteacherhydposts]

Benefits of Learning: Digital Classes for 9th & 10th Math and Science

We all know that 9th and 10th class math and science could be difficult. It is generally the first important year of examinations for students, which can be difficult. Parents frequently believe that taking their children to extra classes would help them perform better. While this may be true, it might be difficult for students.

That’s the reason why online courses come in useful. They work similarly to smart classrooms, allowing students to view and engage with the material they are studying. Instead of simply remembering information, people may observe how things function. Learning becomes as simple as installing an app!

[digitallab001]

Digital Teacher English Digital Language Lab not only enhances vocabulary, but also focuses on the finer shades of language like grammar, pronunciation, intonation, modulation, phonetics, MTI and syllabic division. Learners learn without any fear or embarrassment which helps to build their confidence and proficiency in the language.

[ranawriters]

Soft skills, vital for career success, encompass communication, adaptability, and teamwork.

Online courses revolutionize learning, offering accessibility and customization to diverse learners.

Education, be it traditional or online, empowers growth, shaping adept and adaptable individuals.

[thesophistiicate]

something that's always stuck with me is from a study on popularity i once read. it concluded that the most popular people (students in a school in this case) were not the most beautiful, wealthy, intelligent etc. they were simply the people who liked the most other people. as in, those who reported a high level of fondness for others were the most well-liked by everyone else. it seems obvious but it wasn't to me at the time. this is why i think it's so important to overcome arrogance, judgement, snobbishness etc and learn how to connect with kindness. it is so much more powerful than negativity.

[memorialbatista]

[mylartheloon]

For those applying for jobs, add soft & hard skills to your resumes!

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: INFJ, 27. Hi. I am a translator and I’m tired of the work I do. Admittedly, the fact that I work for an agency whose values and principles are not perfectly aligned with mine and occasionally has me do work that I’m not proud of might have contributed to this frustration. But I had the chance to do a traineeship abroad for a couple of months, and my feelings didn’t change. I also met many exceptional people from various backgrounds, with greater skills and experience than I, which brought into question what I thought were my unique assets and talents.

More background info: I majored in translation after dropping out of an economics course, which I absolutely hated at the time, convinced it was the right choice. I don’t want to go back to economics, but I also feel regretful of the choice I made. I didn’t know enough to have a realistic picture of the field.

I feel like my hands are tied now, because there are not many other job prospects or career ventures I can undertake with this specific major. This may be a cumulative issue of: facing my own limitations/hitting some kind of plateau, not feeling like a good professional and as if my best is not and will never be enough, the low pay, the fact that this is a job that involves a high degree of uncertainty all the time, coupled with tight deadlines, and I don’t feel able to cope with all of it.

I do cope with it, but it’s chipping away at something inside. I have had problems with passion and motivation and have felt very lost, particularly when it comes to career and what I can contribute in general. I’m considering whether I should try studying something else again, or specialise in a specific area, or somehow venture into a different field. The prospect of starting over does scare me a little, since I’m not in my early 20s anymore.

I understand any job has their own uncertainties, but maybe not to the same extent. I have realized I don’t know myself well at all, so I’ve considered doing aptitude tests even – I think I’ve completely lost touch with what I can offer to the world. I was hoping you could give me some perspective and clarity, maybe some key points to reflect on for a future decision and help me see if there’s any unrealistic beliefs I’m holding onto. Thank you.

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Questions for reflection:

1) What does it mean to "start over"? Are you saying that in the years you've been working, you have not learned anything which could be utilized in another job/career? I suppose if you're nothing but an empty shell of a person faking your way through life, then it would be reasonable to fear starting over, because you'd finally have to face down your own vacuousness. If that's not the case, then your thinking is extreme and won't lead you to make rational evaluations. Perhaps what you need is a career counselor to guide you. They could help you organize your thoughts and weigh your options. They could take you through aptitude assessments to pinpoint your assets and identify potential for development. They could help you conceptualize your soft skills and transferable skills and how they may be applied to future endeavors.

2) What do you believe you should be? Are you saying that you're worthless unless you can be "the best", live up to some "perfect ideal", or achieve "greatness" in whatever form you imagine? Do you define people as "good"/"worthy" only through how skilled, competent, or successful they are in their career? Do you believe that the main source of meaning in life is derived through paid work? Whatever standards you use to evaluate your worth, ensure that you have chosen them wisely, otherwise, you'll keep suffering self-esteem problems (unhealthy Fe).

3) What do you imagine your life should look like? Are you saying that there's only one right way to live life and you're doomed as soon as you've deviated from that path? If this is what you believe, then you've trapped yourself within your own naive and rigid thinking. Life is full of uncertainty and ambiguity. You could choose the negative interpretation and descend into fear or pessimism. Or you could choose the positive interpretation and embrace the freedom to explore new possibilities. Your perception of yourself and your life is fully within your control. Until you realize this, you'll keep trapping yourself in limiting ideas and false beliefs (unhealthy Ni).

[estefaniaaaaaaaaaaarr]

Las 48 leyes del poder de Robert Greene

Hola Hola hay una nueva entrada en el blog, será corta pero es acerca de las 48 leyes del poder de Robert Greene su libro enseña a tener el control del destino y conseguir y mantener el poder. Se desglosa en 48 leyes o guías que se deberían considerar a la hora de actuar por medio de estrategias, aciertos y desaciertos de personajes de la historia.

Las 48 leyes del poder

Ley nº 1.- Nunca le hagas sombra a tu amo.

Ley nº 2.- Nunca confíes demasiado en tus amigos; aprende a utilizar a tus enemigos.

Ley nº 3.- Disimula tus intenciones.

Ley nº 4.- Di siempre menos de lo necesario.

Ley nº 5.- Casi todo depende de tu prestigio; defiéndelo a muerte.

Ley nº 6.- Busca llamar la atención a cualquier precio.

Ley nº 7.- Logra que otros trabajen por ti, pero no dejes nunca de llevarte los laureles.

Ley nº 8.- Haz que la gente vaya hacia ti y, de ser necesario, utiliza la carnada más adecuada para lograrlo.

Ley nº 9.- Gana a través de tus acciones, nunca por medio de argumentos.

Ley nº 10.- Peligro de contagio: evita a los perdedores y los desdichados.

Ley nº 11.- Haz que la gente dependa de ti.

Ley nº 12.- Para desarmar a tu víctima, utiliza la franqueza y la generosidad en forma selectiva.

Ley nº 13.- Cuando pidas ayuda, no apeles a la compasión o a la gratitud de la gente, sino a su egoísmo.

Ley nº 14.- Muéstrate como un amigo pero actúa como un espía.

Ley nº 15.- Aplasta por completo a tu enemigo.

Ley nº 16.- Utiliza la ausencia para incrementar el respeto y el honor.

Ley nº 17.- Mantén el suspenso. Maneja el arte de lo impredecible.

Ley nº 18.- No construyas fortalezas para protegerte: el aislamiento es peligroso.

Ley nº 19.- Averigua con quién estás tratando: no ofendas a la persona equivocada.

Ley nº 20.- No te comprometas con nadie.

Ley nº 21.- Finge candidez para atrapar a los cándidos: muéstrate más tonto que tu víctima.

Ley nº 22.- Utiliza la táctica de la capitulación. Transforma la debilidad en poder.

Ley nº 23.- Concentra tus fuerzas.

Ley nº 24.- Desempeña el papel de cortesano perfecto.

Ley nº 25.- Procura recrearte permanentemente.

Ley nº 26.- Mantén tus manos limpias.

Ley nº 27.- Juega con la necesidad de la gente de tener fe en algo, para conseguir seguidores incondicionales.

Ley nº 28.- Sé eficaz al entrar en acción.

Ley nº 29.- Planifica tus acciones de principio a fin.

Ley nº 30.- Haz que tus logros parezcan no requerir esfuerzos.

Ley nº 31.- Controla las opciones: haz que otros jueguen con las cartas que repartes.

Ley nº 32.- Juega con las fantasías de la gente.

Ley nº 33.- Descubre el talón de Aquiles de los demás.

Ley nº 34.- Actúa como un rey para ser tratado como tal.

Ley nº 35.- Domina el arte de la oportunidad.

Ley nº 36.- Menosprecia las cosas que no puedes obtener: ignorarlas es la mejor de las venganzas.

Ley nº 37.- Arma espectáculos imponentes.

Ley nº 38.- Piensa como quieras, pero compórtate como los demás.

Ley nº 39.- Revuelve las aguas para asegurarte una buena pesca.

Ley nº 40.- Menosprecia lo que es gratuito.

Ley nº 41.- Evita imitar a los grandes hombres.

Ley nº 42.- Muerto el perro, muerta la rabia.

Ley nº 43.- Trabaja sobre el corazón y la mente de los demás.

Ley nº 44.- Desarma y enfurece con el efecto espejo.

Ley nº 45.- Predica la necesidad de introducir cambios, pero nunca modifiques demasiado a la vez.

Ley nº 46.- Nunca te muestres demasiado perfecto.

Ley nº 47.- No vayas más allá de tu objetivo; al triunfar, aprende cuándo detenerte: lo puedes perder todo.

Ley nº 48.-Sé cambiante en tu forma.

Aquí el link del libro por si te animas a echarle un ojo! :)

#telocuentoen1minuto la ley 48 y mi reflexión

#Sé cambiante en tu forma.

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