#are you telling me that he was never properly traumatized by his family

[bookdragon369]

I was today years old when I discovered that Obi-Wan Kenobi's name didn't mean "no one, child of no clan" in canon.

IT'S FANON. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

According to Google...

(To my defense, I have watched the main 6 movies and nothing else. EVERYTHING else I know about Star Wars is from fanfiction.)

[avionvadion]

This Trey discourse is getting ridiculous.

Tell me you don’t understand the dream without telling you don’t understand the dream. Tell me you don’t like Trey or understand his character without telling me you don’t like Trey or understand his character. For starters, the reason most of the fandom disliked Trey early on- book one. He didn’t stand up to Riddle’s mother or stop Riddle from being a tyrant.

Argument one: he was a child. A ten year old child whose parents were being screamed at for five hours straight (something of which BOTH Idia and Leona are horrified by, and those two had some strict upbringings themselves) while listening to eight year old Riddle wailing and sobbing for his mother to stop. That shit is traumatizing. Have you ever been screamed at unjustly as a kid? It’s terrifying. It haunts you. That kind of memory latches on and never lets go. Not without help.

Argument two: Trey is 18. He is a big brother. Not a parent. He didn’t raise his little siblings either, as his parents have a seemingly good relationship with each other and their children. He hasn’t seen Riddle in years, and while excited to see Riddle at the entrance ceremony he was quickly rebuffed by the now cold and steely Riddle who grew up under his abusive mother’s rule. He and Cater then worked with Riddle to dethrone their horrible then-dorm leader, and Trey was then sacrificed to the position of vice dorm leader because the entire dorm took a vote. Still, he did his best as vice dorm leader- not wanting to lose his head or watch their dorm mates stumble accidentally onto the execution block.

Trey, at the start, wasn’t particularly close to Riddle because Riddle wouldn’t let him be, and as someone who was traumatized by what happened when he WAS A CHILD likely struggled to speak up against Riddle’s harsher rules, and that most likely muddled together with Trey’s wish for Riddle to be happy. Going against Riddle would lead to conflict, and Riddle is short tempered as is. Trey likely believed that standing up to Riddle would make things worse instead of better.

He learns quickly from Adeuce later in book one how wrong he was, but that’s beside the point. The best Trey could do in the position HE DID NOT WANT was to give advice to his dorm mates and attempt to be Riddle’s voice of reason, acting as the peacemaker and struggling to keep any situation from escalating.

Something of note here, that I find particularly fascinating, is that it’s been stated by several characters that Riddle’s reign, though tyrannical, was nowhere near as bad as the last dorm leader- who was chaos incarnate. That plays a part in why Trey and Cater both were so willing to go along with Riddle’s iron ruling, even though both knew he was going about being dorm leader the wrong way.

There was no controlling or manipulating of Riddle- despite what Leona and Idia, who have ZERO CONNECTION AND INTERACTION with Trey and Cater prior to this dream, believed. There was no stopping Riddle, either. The best they could do was appease him and keep him calm.

Now, onto his dream.

We learn that Trey and his family “laugh” about what happened with Mrs. Rosebitch. This isn’t an, “oh they weren’t affected by what happened” situation, it’s an, “oh they were so badly affected by what happened that they can’t even talk about it properly because it’s so fucked up that they just laugh instead”. That’s called a trauma response. That trauma is so deeply rooted in Trey because he’s never learned to process it, that it’s there in his dream instead of being omitted.

Trey is also dreaming of a world in which Riddle has no stressful responsibilities. They’re at school, but his mother can’t reach him there, and Chen’ya- a childhood friend of Trey’s who was THERE when the Clover family got screamed at by Mrs. Rosebitch- is dorm leader instead. Riddle is not held down by what happened, and is seemingly “freed” from his mother’s cruel hand. Heartslabyul has become a safe space.

One built by Trey and Chen’ya, something they had unknowingly tried to do as children for Riddle (as they were unaware of the abuse, but had been a shining light for sweet baby Riddle who lived in the suffocating darkness) but failed- and paid severely for it.

Now, onto Fandom problem number two: the Round Bois.

I’m seeing people call Trey a “feeder” and are behaving harshly towards him because of it. But that literally couldn’t be farther from what’s happening. For example, let us take a look at his conversation with Vil (I brought my freaking receipts; this boy is my FAV of Heartslabyul) during Vil’s lab coat vignette.

We know Trey likes to bake.

He bakes for the Heartslabyul parties, and often gives Adeuce pastries to bring to Ramshackle to share with Yuu. But we learn in his New Years vignette that he bakes as a form of stress relief, too, to work his thoughts out and/or distract himself. It is a comfort to him. A safe space. And he knows whatever makes he will likely bring a smile to someone’s face. He enjoys baking, and he enjoys seeing people enjoy his sweets.

If someone is stressed, he encourages them to eat sweets- or cake with lots fruits, though that’s specific in this vignette because he just made a strawberry cake and was trying to find someone to give it to because it was one cake too many, lol, and Vil happened to be stressed out from something Rook said.

Trey isn’t being a “feeder” here or in his dream. He saw someone stressed and went, “Hey, I have a solution, why not try it? One slice won’t hurt and it’ll make you feel better/put you in a better mood.”

Baking is Trey’s solution, and a reliable source of comfort. He likes seeing how happy people are from the things he bakes, and he knows eating sweets can make other people happy. That’s why he goes out of his way to find someone to give the extra cake he accidentally made to- because it’ll put that person in a good mood and the cake will have a “good home” to go to.

Trey’s dream was basically giving Riddle and their other dorm mates a life where they could be happy and enjoy themselves without fear. A safe space. He could bake to his heart’s content in this massive kitchen his dream Heartslabyul provided, and everyone around him are happy and overall stress-free.

The reason they’re all ROUND BOIS???

It’s not because Trey was a “feeder” and fed them to that point, it’s because the dream-versions of his friends lacked self control and there was no one to stop them from eating sweet after sweet after sweet. They just happily ate whatever it was Trey baked, because he baked a lot- not to “feed” them, but because baking is something he greatly enjoys doing.

[p1n-p0int]

Honest to gods, I'm working on that that hc, but hear me y' all...

I have a "Ghost who's too closed off due to his trauma, doesn't talk about his past nor his work (the details he's allowed to say), and a reader who is desperately trying to save him from drowning in his self-hatred, and everything seems fine between them til the day before Simon's countless employments where reader pokes the bear too hard and Ghost snaps at them before leaving for the base" agenda running free in my mind

Like man, he loves you but the constant betrayals he went through, both familial and work related, before making him unable to let you into his comfort zone properly. Don't get me wrong; this man loves you to death and could do anything and everything, illegal or not, for you at the drop of the hat, but the thought of you knowing about his past? It sends him spiralling.

Thus why he doesn't see any issue in keeping you at arm's length and out of his business 'til the night before he has to depart for a mission.

You randomly begin to talk about hypothetical marriage and children you two are going to have one day. A happy life together you wanted for yourself and Simon... He threw you a side-glance telling you to drop it, he told you twice when you insisted on interrogating him as to why a loving family he could come back to from employment sounds bad... He has never meant to verbally snap at you the way he did - you backing away from his reach zone and putting a heavy kitchen table between him and you as an additional barrier, your brain was terrified of the man you were seeing in front of you. But it was not your Simon that was speaking, it was some twisted, traumatized soldier? child? part of him peaking its sorrowful head out, that much you knew - triggered his traumas. He couldn't hold it in. You pushed way too many times and his glass-like wall broke under the pressure.

When he was done ranting off to the grimy image in his head and looked up at you, scared of him, he bolted, grabbing his things and running out of your shared flat, not able to face you and the look on your face that's going to haunt him for the rest of his days. Because, sworn with a hand to his heart, he thought he singlehandedly ended the relationship there and then.

I don't have detailed route options for this one, but definitely, just like for Price, I'm planning for:

that hits all the raw points and talks about all the important topics of mental health, PTSD, self-worth and trust issues, you name it basically. A bit darker, with Ghost literally going through it to make himself better for the reader and first and foremost himself. (Groveling on his knees, fix-it route)

Ghost coming back from the employment, determined to discuss the previous fight with them, explain his side of view... Only to find the reader long gone from their apartment. (Angst route)

[cyanide-siren]

please, don't go there

Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: You were hunting with Dean and Sam for years, until you died in the hands of a demon. You were also a girl Dean fell in love with. Now, Dean has a chance to travel back in time where he meets you, who has no idea who Dean is.

Warnings: Angst, angst, it's just sad.

☆☆

Watching you die was one of the most traumatic moments of Dean's life – and he had gone through a lot.

He could still feel your warm blood covering his hands as he tried to stop your stomach from bleeding, but the wound was too severe to get fixed without a doctor.

For the next several weeks, every time Dean got his hands wet, all he could imagine was your blood on his skin. Every time he had to look down to make sure it wasn't blood. At least not your blood.

It was his fault you died. Sam tried to insist that there was nothing Dean could have done but Dean would blame himself for the rest of his life for that one moment.

He had gone that day over again and again in his mind.

If you had stayed at the motel, you'd be alive.

If you hadn't walked through that door at that second, you'd be alive.

If you hadn't done this and that, you'd be alive.

So many things could have prevented your fate. You could be here with him, in his arms – but you weren't. Instead, your corpse was buried under dirt. Dean had dug a grave for the love of his life.

The only one he had left anymore was Sam, everyone else were gone.

"I will never let you forget about that," you had laughed. "I'll tell that to everyone in the retirement home we'll be stuck in if our kids won't take care of us when we're old."

Oh what a joy would it have been to able to grow old with you. Have you by his side for the rest of his life, but you were gone before your life together with him had even properly started. See your hair turn grey and hands become wrinkly. Dean would keep saying how pretty you still looked, even though you were growing old. You'd still be the most beautiful girl he knew.

That brings him to this day, when the angels had transported him back in time and he was sitting on a bench at a park. They didn't send him there because of you, no – you only happened to be in the same area since this was the place you had grown up in with your family.

15 years to the past.

Dean's heart stopped for a moment when he saw a girl who he didn't have to look more than once to recognize. He clenched his jaw, feeling his throat becoming tighter and tears prickling into his eyes which he forced back in by blinking rapidly.

You. Although, you did look very different, being just 14 years old. You had insisted that Dean would never see pictures of you from your teenage years, embarrassed of your style back then, but Dean didn't see anything in you to be embarrassed about.

You were beautiful and so full of life with that wide smile and bright eyes. You were walking with two of your friends, talking about something which made you laugh. God, how much Dean missed that laugh.

You were holding a bouquet of roses in your hands, most likely taking them home for your mother, since today happened to be the Mother's Day. Personally, you had always disliked roses. Another thing Dean regretted was that he hadn't bought you flowers often enough. He should have bought you flowers at least once or twice a week, but he hadn't.

Dean could never look at any type of flowers anymore without thinking of the lilies and orchids he had laid on top of your grave.

Dean was so deep in his own thoughts that he hadn't realized someone had approached him.

"Excuse me, sir," you said, startling Dean out of his short trance.

"Huh?"

"Did you drop this?" you asked, somehow holding his wallet in your hand. For a moment, Dean's blood ran cold and heart stopped for a second. Dean touched every pocket on him and, indeed, there was no wallet on him.

"Oh, yeah, thanks," Dean nervously chuckled, partly to the fact that you had called him 'sir', which you had never done before. He took the wallet from you, quickly putting it back into his pocket. How he had managed to lose it in the first place, was a mystery.

"Great, my day's one good job is done then," you said and smiled.

Seeing you this unbothered and satisfied, Dean could just assume that you hadn't looked into his wallet and was extremely relieved for that. He wasn't ready to answer your questions of why he had a picture of you in his wallet, though an older version of you.

You were about to turn and walk away, but before thinking much, Dean stopped you.

"Sorry, um, hold on a second," Dean blurted out of his mouth before you'd manage to walk away from him. He was trying to form the words in his head into proper sentences that would sound somewhat logical to you. Fuck it. Of course it would sound anything else than logical. "This is going to sound weird but... I need you to do me a favor."

"A favor?" you asked, raising your eyebrows. "Now, what kind of a favor can a teenager do to a grown ass man?"

Dean couldn't help but smile, having missed that sass of yours so much.

"In 8 years, when you're going out with your friends on November 21st 2004... Don't go to a bar that night."

"What?" you asked, furrowing your eyebrows. Who was this man? A psychic or something? Fortune teller? No, fortune tellers didn't dress in jeans and leather jackets. Did they?

"Please, just. Go anywhere else than into a bar on that day," Dean insisted, looking extremely serious which almost made you worried and anxious, his gaze looking at you so intensely you'd almost think he wasn't joking.

"Why?"

"Because," Dean started, voice unstable and shaky, but the words got stuck in his throat. He had to turn his face away from you, feeling tears rise into his eyes.

"Sir, are you crying?" You took a cautious step closer to him, growing slightly worried of this stranger.

Sir. No 'love', 'honey', 'darling' – nothing. He'd never hear you to call him with any of those nicknames anymore. He had hated most of them at the time, but now he'd do anything to hear them again, even once.

"Promise me," Dean repeated with pleading eyes. "November 21st 2004. Whatever plans you have that day, change them."

"But-"

"Promise me. It's the only thing i ask you to do," Dean insisted, growing desperate.

"Okay, okay. I promise," you said, brows furrowed in confusion.

If you never met Dean Winchester in the first place, he wouldn't be dragging you into the mess of his life and you'd be alive. Even if you would never be a part of his life.

You'd be alive and happy. You would never start hunting demons and risk your life every single time you went for a hunt. You'd get married and have a family if you wished so. Get married to someone else than Dean and have someone else's kids. Dean was supposed to marry you, but he should be used to having good things ripped away from him.

Dean wasn't meant to settle down with anyone, he was supposed to save people so they could live their lives happy and well.

When Dean turned away and left, you watched after him for a while, wondering who the hell that man was and what was so special of your 22nd birthday.

"Y/N? Who was that?" your friend asked.

"I don't know," you mumbled and narrowed your eyes.

"He's kinda hot," she admitted and bit her lip to keep a smile from breaking her face in half.

"Ew, gross. He's old," you grimaced and wrinkled your nose.

He turned around one more time, just to see you still standing there. He gave you one more sad smile until permanently leaving you alone.

What a strange man.

☆☆

[k-aemi]

blue lock ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ doctors note.

obsessive behavior, a bit erotic but no smut, self-harm, use of force, multiple mental illnesses exposed, some mischaracterization but its for the plot pls forgive me :<, traumatic events(?)

a/n: haii so this might not be accurately correct im no expert in this category but if you guys catch any mistakes ive made pls tell me thru asks or message me ^^ id like to improve anything and fix.

this is part 1! i will be writing more if you guys like it

for context youre a psychiatrist that works by yourself....kind of. its sort of a family business owned thing. but youre the main worker with the degree, your family was just there to assist you with checking in patients and cleaning around the small facility you owned.

though, it did seemed youd have to relocate else where, you were barely getting patients because of the unknown location you were at, and judged from the outside. just because your place was small doesnt mean you sucked! you were top of medical school!

just on a random day you get over 10+ appointments. you werent sure if someone had mis-clicked and meant to only add one. but there were a list of names, and all their information...

you werent even sure what to do, you dont think youve gotten this many patients at the same time before, possibly 3 at best and that was all.

the one who even assigned all of them to you was some person named Ego Jinpachi. youve heard of him, hes one of the workers of blue lock wasnt he? that football facility not too far from your place. youve found out hes bringing in football lunatics whos suddenly lost their minds. he says if you can, keep them confined in here until theyre able to function properly. this isnt the mental asylum!

he told you hes only chose this one because of the lost of money due the change of behavior in his players, investors soon losing the interest in investing in blue lock. he only has so much to spend.

so he asks you, which of course youll get two percent of what blue lock makes as soon as his players are back in top notch shape, which will make blue lock shine again.

you have no choice but to accept, this is your job anyways! its time to show your full potential!

patient #1: isagi yoichi.

checking in on isagi yoichi. who is dealing with severe anxiety. as hes constantly overcoming obstacles to try and exceed his performance, success and ability to meet beyond expectations. this always leads to him overthinking and anxious in high pressure situations.

he must becomes the best, but he fears falling behind his peers. he sets these expectations himself. his anxiety could worsen if hes pushing himself too hard, he wont be able to take care of himself for the future.

poor boy, always comparing himself with the geniuses surrounding him, he self-doubts himself, he thinks if he cant live up to their level, he cant be number one. he wants to be the best, he wants someone to recognize his talent in order to keep his drive to become number one striker. even an ounce of feeling ignored by the dominant players on field, he doubts his worth in football.

he was only the stepping stone to evolve rin and kaiser? he hates it. it feels like hes left alone in the dark. he wants to be the best, even with his best efforts, he cant do it! only there to unlock others potentials...but what about his?

getting to know him better, you fully understand as he warms up to you. you know the feeling of being left out, having that passion but never recognized for what youre worth for. he looks so drained and you feel so bad about it, for a doctor you feel like you get more sentimental than your patients.

he thinks youre always so patient with him, you would never pry into him forcing how he feels, or force positive thoughts into him. you patiently guide him through it and makes sure to take it step by step. sharing methods that could help with the anxiety.

your voice is so soft and youre not too much for him to handle. he thinks your presence is calming and warm, like he can forget all of his problems with you in there. every time you see a little improvement in his anxiety, youre always there to validate him. you just think with the praises, itd help motivate him!

oh and it does. to the point he lives for your validation. he thinks its a change of pace since youre no competitor from blue lock. he thinks of you as a safe space. you listen to him with no judgement, even when he thinks his diagnosed anxiety was for a stupid reason.

you view him not just as an athlete, but someone with emotions and vulnerabilities. he thinks thats the charm of you. he doesnt even notice it himself, but he starts to depend on you to make sure he doesnt feel rejected from society.

whenever youd come into his room to ask your daily questions, hes always asking further "are you happy im doing well..?" just to hear your sweet praises fall into his ears. hes love to hear it from you. thats his only source of living comfortably right now.

"yes 'm so happy 'ichi! im so excited to see you back onto the fields!" you clasped your hands together. the way the nickname rolls off your tongue makes him feel hes important to you, normally when someones important to someone, they love them right? you love him dont you? just as much as he does?

"[name..] you care about me right...? like a lot?" hed randomly ask you when youre checking up on him. it was very out of no where considering you were talking about the very famous franchise kamen rider shows. "hm? yeah care about you s'much!" you flashed your sweet smile at him.

your presence feels so warm...he...he wonders what its like for lovers to kiss is like, which is what he assumes you are to him. he cups your cheeks, staring intensely at your lips. youre a tad confused, you wondered if he just wanted to grab hold of something. not until you see him lean him and your eyes widened. coming back to your senses, you hands came in between your lips and his, stopping the kiss.

isagi can only look so confuse. what are you doing? youre his lover arent you? he can kiss you. why are you refusing him? his affection? are you rejecting him?

"i-ichi...what are you doing..?" you awkwardly back up and you see his gaze darkened. "this is what lovers do right...? we have to kiss. or are you rejecting me like everyone else does. am i just a background character to your story too?!" he lashes out on you.

"no no-what-lover..?" you should of perhaps saw this coming, in some rare cases it happens. your trance of thoughts were interrupted when isagi knocks down the vase on his nightstand.

"fuck-! knew it. fucking knew it. youre just toying with me too huh? youre rejecting me." he growls. the vase shatters you hurriedly try to pick up the pieces, youre scared isagi might try to hurt himself with these shards, if you dont take action fast, hell do it, so youll pick it up with hand first, the broom is kind of far and if you come back to him in a worsened condition, it can only lead to the bad.

you cut yourself on accident and you hissed at the pain. isagi immediately notices, grabbing hold of your finger...looking at it intently.

"u-uh ichi..?" you try to retreat your hand from him, but his gaze leaves you fazed. those eyes of his were so scary. isagi licks the blood that spills from your finger and licks it tenderly. sucking on the digists, tasting your precious blood which he thinks is sacred.

"i love you so much [name]...you feel the same way dont you..?"

patient #2: bachira meguru.

focusing on bachira meguru. a bit energetic...well thats probably an understatement, he really is energetic. studying him for a while it seems he has borderline personality disorder.

bachira who longs for deep connections may connect to fear of abandonment. he always struggled with loneliness and was always called weird by the other kids. as a coping mechanism, it led to him creating his "monster" he talks about to deal with the isolation hes faced.

he has an intense fear of being alone, even if its all in his head, he hates it. hes really dependent and have a strong sense of attachments to certain indivduals, just like isagi. he saw isagi as a crucial part to his well-being, knowing he can play football with him, hes like him, he has a monster too.

he yearns for someone to understand him. creating a sense of acceptance and validation from others. if he cant play football with anyone else, who else can but his monster..?

he doesnt even know who he is, he relies on others to define himself. just like how he relies on isagi a lot. whenever he sees isagi becoming more independent in his plays, he feels left behind because he thinks thered be no one else to play with him. :(

without the monster inside of him, he doesnt know how else to see himself. hes sees himself within that monster, without it, he struggles to find his true self.

whenever you come to visit him, hes always mentioning the monster to you. saying he wants to play, but you must help him get better first so he can succeed without the monster!

of course, you always ask him about the monster, you want to slowly try and make him self aware he can build other connections than his inner monster. you try to understand what triggers or triggered this abandonment, and when he tells you, you start to tear up on the inside!

you tell him to jolt down whenever he feels lonely or abandoned. or when his monster appears, what does it say? what does it do to him? giving him a little journal and a cute little pen with a sunflower on top to match his golden locks that touch the tips.

"you can tell me anything in this journal ok?" you flashed a smile at him. and he finally feels like youre the only one who understands him and this monster. honestly, if you were trying to make him to stop depending on the monster, hell just depend on you instead, thats the only reasonable thing to do right?

he sees you as a special person he doesnt want to lose. youre always so caring and give him the comfort he needs when he crys in the middle of night, saying he just feels so alone, he needs you to be there for him :(

hes never had this sort of comfort before aside from his mom. but having you and going through the process with it, he thinks this is what love feels like. he was always too silly to form a crush on anyone, or to even get a girlfriend, but with you by his side, this was definitely the love he yearned for, you understood him better than anyone. youre the only one for him.

he thinks whenever you visit him, its like going on a date! youre always coming in looking so pretty (you dont even have makeup on and youre in casual clothing www) for him and you look so happy to talk to him just as much as he does, he loves his doctor girlfriend<3

you dont even realize hes falling in love with you. you just think its his playful manner and excitement! youre so naive. what the hell did you mean you didnt know when he told you "you know if you werent my doctor id totally make you mine! kidding.." sticking out his tongue, hes so silly you just laugh.

sometimes hed randomly text you things outside of professional settings if you werent available right now, either out food shopping or helping out family matters. not that you mind, but itd be super random. "i drew two dogs. its us! :D”

even when hed say some "weird" things you suppose, something along the lines of him complaining why you have other patients. he tells you to just tend to him! you can only raise your eyebrow in confusion. "you do know its my job right?" you giggled a bit. "mmm... dont care. youre my doctor. and i hate sharing."

bachira always comes up to hug you first thing when you open the door to his room, he hears your footsteps from the hallway so he just stands to the side and jump at you when you enter in.

"[name]!!!" he nuzzled against your neck, the thud was so loud you think your sister probably heard it like 3 rooms away. his head rested above your chest as he rubbed his face on it, holding you tight around the waist.

"megu...stop doing that! im gonna get a head concussion one day!" you playfully bonk his head and he let out a soft grunt. he only giggles before inhaling your scent. god he loved this smell, it was at least better than the smell of antiseptics and disinfectants, it made his head hurt a bit.

"but missed you s'much.." he pouts. how did you not see the signs? you let out a content sigh, flashing a smile to him before patting his head, ruffling his hair. "sorry sorry, i was really busy. lets get you checked up yeah?" he nods eagerly. getting up to help you by handing his hand out, you grabbed it as he pulled you up. you never really realized how tall he was, judging by looks, he doesnt even look that tall!

but your trance of thoughts is immediately interrupted by a soft pair of lips on your cheek. did bachira just...? you back away, rubbing the part he kissed.

"im so excited for our date! were gonna talk lots and lots of things!" he grips your wrist, dragging you to the stool next to his bed. but you didnt budge an inch.

"hmm whats wrong? why do you look so upset?" he leaned closer to you but you back away. he notices this and doesnt take it so lightly.

"why are you avoiding me now..? do you think im weird? do you see me as a monster?" he starts to overthink it, as he clenches onto your shirt with a pained look. whats with this sudden demeanor?! you were never like this...so why now? was it the kiss? he thought you loved him so he thought you wouldnt mind!

"of course not megu...but you really cant just-" youre interrupted with a kiss on the lips. he didnt want to hear it. he was too dependent on you already, and youre gonna leave him like you guys had nothing? like you didnt have a single ounce of feelings for him either?! hes furious. how could you.

"dont leave me now [name]...please...i need you."

patient #3: chigiri hyoma.

onto the next model-uh patient. chigiri hyoma. seriously did he come from blue lock? he looks like a model with that beautiful hair of his. you accidentally mistook him for a woman! recording his actions and behaviors, you assume he suffers from ptsd, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

you found out that he had a acl tear and it was a traumatic event he just cant seem to forget, it nearly destroyed and shattered his dreams of being the best striker. sure he recovered, but this shaped his behavior and caused him emotional distress.

he was most confident in his speed, and for it to just be taken away from him again makes him scared. it would mean losing who he was as a player. stripping away that confidence and sense of security. poor baby.

hed never told anyone about this event. making it even hard to process having to bottle up is fears. even with his body healed, his mind didnt, still facing the fear and hesitation. :(

that traumatic event always replay back in his mind, and the words of his doctors still echoed inside of his head. hearing those devastating words that of he were to tore his acl again, his career of a soccer player is over.

whenever out on the field he gets the image of the injury happening, which he hesitates to show his full potential. whenever hed see someone to fall or hurt their knee, he cant help but feel that trigger, causing fear. it reminds him of what had happened and he cant escape from it.

just even thinking about running full speed, he hesitates and starts to hyperventilate. he gets so scared, he doesnt want to quit, he wants to keep playing! it gets so bad to the point hed have to be switched out with another person.

all he can do is run away from his fear, he wants to protect himself in order to keep playing. but how can he keep it up if his speed is what defined him? he wants to, but hes too scared of the risk.

he sees his strength in his speed. without it, hes nothing. hes nothing worth more than lead. he hated the feeling. the feeling of being weak, the feeling of being so scared. he hates himself. with his hesitation, he cant help but always feel like hes dragging his teammates down.

because youre his doctor and not one of the blue lock competitors, he thinks it might be alright to just fill you in, but he ended up telling you everything, and how he felt. he even cried, knowing he was weak after he lost his sense of self.

you sob listening to his story. youre determined to make him feel like he will be the best without having to worry! youre the first person hes ever told anyone outside his family. you give him the reassurance youll never tell a single soul about what happened to him.

to start off you think itd be best if you can help change his mindset! you help him challenge the negative thoughts that may occur in his head with confidence! "sure your speed is your gift, but its not the only thing that defines you! you need to remember just because it happened once, it wont happen again!"

hes never even thought of it like that, this whole time all he could think about is how hell destroy his body, and that stops him from showing his full potential.

you guide him through training to increase his comfort with getting used to full speed movements to boost his confidence his knee is strong and the past wont control him anymore! you give him some methods and techniques on to calm his anxiety before matches so that he wouldnt be so hesitant anymore.

you hope hed focus on the present, than cling onto the repeat of the past.

knowing youre the first person to know about his knee, you understand the weight of his trauma and you see past the talent he was gifted, he was more than just a speedy person! thats what he enjoyed about you. he feels like youre his safe space.

he gets these stir of feelings, hes confused on what it is. it happened when you told him..."you dont have to prove anything to me! whether you run or not, youre still the chigiri hyoma i know" followed by a giggle. what...what was this burning sensation in his chest. he cant wrap a finger around it.

he feels like around you, he can show his most vulnerable state. whether hes crying, angry, or scared. he can show it all to you without feeling judged. that always led to him wanting to seek your reassurance all the time. outside of football, he can be himself if youre around.

he loved how you were able to help him overcome his fears, even if it took a while, all throughout his whole years of liviing he was able to feel better about himself. due to his avoidant ways, he feels such a deep connection with you, causing him to think, maybe this is the feeling of love. he may thinks its admiration but he shrugged that feeling. its definitely love.

he starts to take mental notes of the little things you like or do. oh you prefer to use the air fryer than oil fry your food? its noted. you like to pick out the tomatoes from your burgers because you think the texture is gross? hes got it down. you like this certain movie at this specific time? you know it.

he loves your approval. everything you say to him puts in a trance really but he specifically loves whenever you help train his knee, seeing his progress, you tell him, "im so proud of you hyo!" his heart will always skip a beat.

he thinks the only patient you should tend to is him. i mean...you look like you enjoy his presence a lot, it means youre his favorite right? thats what he sees at least. so whenever youd leave his room, hed just mutter under his breath. "arent i better than them..?" with his furrowed eyebrows.

he knows the rules, he cant be a patient that falls in love with his doctor, but can you blame him? youre so caring and nice to him, its such a reliever from all of the egoists from blue lock. you dont think hed at least build some sort of dependency on you?

"alright hyo! im so happy youre recovering, i know its a long process but just some progress is a lot!" clasping your hands together to show your happiness. he knows its genuine, i mean you cant fake a smile like that. its so warm...youre like the sun to him.

"[n-name]...." he suddenly called out to you as he was sat on the edge of his bed, gripping onto the sheets with fear. he wants to tell you how he feels. i mean, you could potentially have feelings for him too right? theres no way a doctor is this nice to their patients unless theres one reasonable explanation. you like him too.

"yes hyo?" you didnt look up from your clipboard, jolting down some notes and writing some important details. you can hear some slight hesitation in chigiris words. but didnt really pay no attention to it.

"please just...listen...i..think...no scratch that..i know i have feelings for you." he would rub the back of his neck, slowly trailing his gaze from the ground to your eyes. he hated being vulnerable but for you, and for this opportunity, he couldnt waste it. he loved you so much.

you can only just stare at him dumbfounded, your pen dropping to the floor. you didnt expect him to openly express his feelings. you didnt even think he would have feelings for you. he most of the time had a stoic face to him, it was kind of hard to read him, but you still got through him.

you struggle to say the words you want to say. youre an extreme people pleaser and youd hate to hurt another patients feelings. "im glad youre aware hyo, but as your doctor, its a built on trust on your healing process. if i crossed that line, id be failing you. i wont dismiss or disregard your feelings like its nothing, youre important to me and i care deeply about you." you frown at him and you can see his eyes lower as his lips quivered.

you figured hed try and undestand, but he just persist, and it maybe fueled his anger. "so...thats it? just because...of some fucking stupid rule? is this your excuse? just fucking tell me you dont love me. at least make an exception! for me!" he lashed out and you kind of get scared. youve never seen him raise his voice at you. he hyperventilates as he continues with his fuel.

"you cant just tell me, just because youre my doctor...youre telling me we didnt have a thing going on? because it sure as hell didnt feel that way. i cant just pretend youre werent the only person who truly understood me! tell me...how to do that." he walked up to you, hovering over your figure.

you didnt dare to look at him, knowing youd be met with his cold gaze. you just bit your lip and clutched your clipboard in anticipation. until he took hold of your shoulders leaning down to your level and meet your eyes.

"fucking tell me [name]!" his eyebrows furrowed as his teeth grit. youre so scared, you feel threatened, but youre not sure what to do, hes much stronger than you. theres nothing you can do in this situation.

when he sees your trembling figure, he loosen his grip on you and sighed. hesitantly wrapping his arms around your neck when he sees you wince a bit. he soften a bits before letting out a content sigh.

"'m so sorry...didnt mean to... i love you, you know that...?"

patient #4: itoshi rin.

the brother of itoshi sae, itoshi rin. you could of swore you treated to itoshi sae once. but thats for another story. judging by his actions, you think hes suffering from depression.

this patient sure was a bit difficult. he rarely talks about his feelings. instead its mostly hatred he expresses it as. hes always talking to himself, "its not enough.." repeatedly you dont even know if hes aware youre still in his presence.

when he wants to get away from the suffering, he fixates on sae. he hates the way sae just did him like that, seriously his only goal was to play football to become the second best aside sae. now he wanted to change? he doesnt matter in saes life anymore? how could he. how fucking dare he.

he cant express his sadness so easily. even if he tried to, it turns into anger, lashing out on others. but he doesnt mean it, it just happens. he doesnt mean to push others way.

hes so harsh on himself, he thinks every loss granted feels like a personal failure, making him hate himself even more. when you had first tried to help him, he could only scoff to himself. "dont ask me stupid questions." you kind of cried from that harsh tone but dealt with it (www).

hes always keeping his distance. hes so focused on winning, he barely express genuine joy and rarely smiles. but its not like he wants to. he wants to prove himself the best of the best, after what had happened with his big brother. hes terrified of being betrayed again. he cant just let people walk into his life, just to be betrayed.

he will never allow himself to feel good enough. every failure and loss of his will only increase his self-loathing. he pushes himself, pass his limit, to the point hes at the passing out point. but he must do what he must, hell never rest. you know his excessive training? he thinks for not being strong enough hell punish himself with it. thats why hes so well built.

hell never waste time, meaning he runs to little to no sleep. how could he when he has people to exceed. he must train harder than ever before, push his limits. when you question why he does that he gives you an annoyed glance. (makes you cry on the inside) "only the weak rest. i dont have time for that."

he cant ever forget that night. how could he? its a wound hes not able to stich up. rin hates sae, but on the look of his eyes, he yearns for saes validation. it only fuels when he praised isagi. shattering rins heart. he cant stand it anymore.

no matter how much he can do, hell never be better than sae, he never feels enough. he thinks the reason why sae is gone is because hes too weak, it hurts, it really fucking does.

though rin was a difficult patient to get a hold of, you never had the thought to give up, everyone has their breaking point, even for someone like rin. youd be so patient with him, even if it felt like everyday was a failure to try to get him to open up.

rin hates how persistent you are. he hates being vulnerable towards others. but you never shut up do you? why cant you just give up. but this feels all too familiar. still persistent yet no where close to the main goal. he can only punch the wall, leaving a hole in the room hes assigned in.

you think the most effective way to help him was to challenge his toxic thought patterns by questions. "if you think losing makes you worthless, why do people respect those who lose but improve?"

rin can only halt for a moment and rethink his harsh self judgement. he tries something to counter it, but nothing comes to mind at first.

rin never directly told you, but you can imply someone important has either left him or betrayed him of some sort. was a friend? girlfriend? parental figure of some sort? youre not sure.

"who is this person you wish to surpass? i noticed you tend to say "i will destroy him." you had hope this could maybe expose his intentions? but rin only scoff.

"that man...i swear ill destroy him hell regret everything he said to me that night.!" he raised his voice. honestly you dont know who else can it be.

"is it perhaps your older brother, itoshi sae?" and his ears perked up. you notice his change of behavior. guessing it was him. "why did sae leave you?"

"theres nothing to talk about."

"then...just hearing his name, why does it make you angry? if he didnt matter, you wouldnt care." and rin cant even run away from his feelings. he knew he had to confront them sooner or later.

rin only knows how to push himself, he doesnt have any healthy coping mechanisms. poor boy. rin would sometimes refuse to talk to you, only resulting to telling to him to write down his feelings to realize whats going on and see that hes actually harming himself.

as he writes his feelings down, he starts to read aloud what he writes to you and your heart lights up, youre so happy hes able to warm up to you even after a whopping of two weeks. once you validate his feelings, he finally learns...maybe allowing being able to express himself doesn't make him feel weak.

though you did need to help his other unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as not getting enough sleep and punishing himself for being so "weak". youd give him advice to try an improve those coping methods. "if youre trying to improve yourself please dont push yourself. you need to recover too. you need to take care of yourself okay? in order to beat sae." at least to match up with his goals to motivate him to change his unhealthy ways.

rin generally thought of you just as a doctor who has to tolerate with his issues. hes emotionally distant and refuse to acknowledge any pain or feelings. but just seeing your ways of helping him puts him in a sense of comfort.

youre always calm and non-judgmental, someting rin isnt used to, due to the environment hes in and because of his brother. with you around he feels like he can slowly open up. not fully but just...slowly.

the more he talks about sae, the more he expresses his struggles. throughout his whole life he was incapable of expressing himself, but with you around, you create that space for him to open himself more.

the more and more he talks, he doesnt even realize it himself. he just lets himself go, is it because youre here? he feels like time goes by fast when hes with you. he finds...comfort within you.

as your job, youre always here to remind him to care for himself, something he heavily struggles with. whenever he seems to be so stressed out, you give him the upmost attention which rin doesnt realize he likes when youre showing your concern for him. at first he feels its weird when he receives your comfort, but he lets down his guard with you within time.

sometimes when he realizes hes becoming too close to you, he wants to push you away. well he does. when youre trying to pry his feelings out, he just makes excuses to end the session early, or just refuse to talk to you.

even with his refusal you dont give up on him, which is what he hates. whenever you keep up at it, he feels sting at his chest. he cant even describe what he feels. was this a bad feeling? good? scared? he cant get a hold of it.

its subtle but he does show he cares for you too. he would notice the eyebags under your eyes and the way you would slur your words a bit in sessions. hed only get a bit ticked off, "stop pushing yourself so hard. its annoying seeing you like this." honestly its so unexpected of him, but you just figured hed want a more professional doctor instead of a tired one.

sometimes when he does catch on with what he does, he tries to distance himself, skipping sessions to see if the feeling will go away. but it only worsens and lingers, he wants--no, needs to see you.

at a session, he does seem to be uncooperative, not like its anything new, but you do see that somethings been on his mind. you wonder what could it be. "everything alright rin? you seem to be on edge today. whats bothering you?" you cross your legs tapping on your clipboard.

rin can only scoff with his jaw clenched. just seeing you made him even more frustrated. "obviously. you." you halt your movements in confusion, oh no did you do something wrong as his doctor?

"me? im sorry can you recall what you dislike?" you leaned back on your chair in anticipation of his response. "i hate it. its confusing. i dont get why i always think of you. why i feel like i cant stand being here, but also the idea of not coming back. i dont know anymore. everytime i leave this room, its like i leave something behind. and i dont want to go." clenching his fist as his gaze falls to the floor.

you think hes just expressing his frustration, only until his words hit you cold. "its more than that. I-" you cut him off. you already knew what was to come. "rin please. i care about you, but i cant be that person for you. i am only here to better your wellbeing."

he didnt like that answer. it only fueled his anger in fact. slamming the table in front of him before angrily scurrying off. "rin!" you called out to him, but hes already left your office. you can only sigh frustratingly before continuing to note down some information.

its late at night. and your up in your office, just up to finish some work for the other 10 patients you need to tend to....its such hard work! only until someone opened your door and it was so unexpected you jumped. but its only rin, and you sighed. "rin? your session was over hours ago."

he can only click his tongue before walking up to your desk. "i needed to talk." he says with his stoic face. "you know its late, i cant make exceptions." now standing in front of your desk, the only light that emitted was from the door, and the white from the computer screen. "you do it for other patients." he shifts his gaze to the side.

"rin, if its about that-i care about you as my patient, but thats all there is to it." "i know." you frown, you hated confronting your patients, it always felt so mean but you had to! "then why are you still here?" rin can only clench his fist. "because i dont believe you."

his eyes flickered with determination and desperation as he grits his teeth. "if you didnt feel the same, you wouldnt care this much. i know it. i know you can feel it too, dont you?" he really did try to make you admit you did have feelings for him. you dont even know what to do anymore! "you treat me different than others."

"i treat my all my patients equally."

"liar. you hesitate when you look at me. you dont do that with others! i know how you look at me." he kept eye contact with you, slowly walking to your figure.

"Rin-"

"youre scared how i make you feel." he interrupted. "you think you know how i feel. but i know exactly what it is." his arm would reach out to caress your cheek, but you grip is wrist. his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.

"rin, i care about you a lot than you think, but not in the way you want me to!" but he could only swat your hand away before taking hold of your cheeks, as he forces you to stare at his teal eyes.

"liar. i know you feel it. the connection we have. its stronger than any other patient you have." he closes in. you turn to face the other direction, avoiding his ways with you.

"stop refusing me already! look at me." he whispered to you, in a calmer tone to convince you. but his patient wears thin. he was always impatient. "i said look at me!" forcing you to look at his eyes. fear in your eyes, youre scared he might hurt you at this point.

"thats a better look for you." eyeing your lips, he feels some sort of excitement, that flow. your lips quivered, but its okay, rin will comfort you now, its to repay you back for everything youve done for him.

he leans in kissing you. his knee rested in between the negative spot in the chair, as his arms rests on the sides.

"see..? this kiss proves our connection."

patient #5: mikage reo.

from the mikage corp, reo mikage. for such a once bright person hes so gloomy and unmotivated now. hes always talking about your other patient named nagi seishiro. was there some sort of conflict between the two? the way he talks about him leaving, it seems like he has dependent personality disorder.

reos entire motivation for football intiailly revolved around nagi it seems. he always believed they could achieve such greatness together and that nagi was his treasure. he fixates a lot on their relationship and uses that to define his own worth.

but thats when his whole world shattered when he left him for isagi. really, was he not good enough in nagis eyes to partner up with him? he struggles to cope after that whole event. hes not confident in his ability alone, and refers himself nagis partner only, not as a person himself.

you know how he lost to isagi and nagi? and when nagi didnt choose him? he panics so much when nagi chooses to move on without him. he feels lost and betrayed. why didnt he choose him? the way he pleaded nagi just shows the fear of him being left behind. he doesnt want to succeed by himself, he wants--no...needs to do it with someone by his side.

observing reo more, he seems more of a follower than a leader himself. always relying on nagi rather than himself as a striker while lacking the self confidence without his partner. he feels as if hes not enough on his own. showing that part of his dependency needs.

he feels distressed when he thinks nagi will leave him behind and abandon him. he doesnt know how, but he just wants to keep nagi close to him. he was always perfect with everything, but he cant even keep his relationship perfect with nagi.

he needs nagis guidance in order to succeed, whenever out in the field, he looks for nagi for confirmation or approval of some sort. showing that lack of confidence in his own judgement.

he does have goals of his own, but he buts his own needs behind nagis. he finds nagis well being more important than his, he sacrifices his needs to make sure nagi feels secure, even neglecting his own desires. he lets nagi take control of situations because hes scared getting into conflict with nagi :(

taking all of this, you figured why not focus on increasing his self-confidence and help with emotional stability! though you did know this would be a difficult challenge as a lot of people struggle with that.

his biggest issue would be his worth and purpose to other people, which in this case was nagi...you would help work on building a sense of self outside of relationships! you would try to make reo aware of his dependency on others and talk about his own strengths when playing football, or just any personal achievements since he was good at anything.

you encourage him to make decisions alone! you start off small though, since nagi isnt there to decide for him, you think it will help build that individualism. you ask for what kind of meal would he like to eat, not what nagi would want. and then youd start with what would he want to do after he has won the world cup. something along the lines of that!

you do take note on what he told you how he felt during nagis "betrayal", you do believe he has a fear of abandonment. so you would try to suggest and develop coping mechanisms for him! you would try to prove to himself he can handle it, control is emotions, and communicate his needs without fear!

you teach him to set boundaries, so he isnt so dependent on one person or fixate on it. but you feel like you just made it worse.

hes never received such emotional support for his feelings, he thinks the way you treat him like hes so delicate makes him feels such things. youre one of the first people to listen to him, guide him, and see him more than just the mikage kid from a rich family who can do anything. but you see the side where hes most vulnerable.

he feels less alone venting his emotions to you, he develops that attachment. somewhere close where nagi lies.

he loves your reassurance that you give when he tries to work on his independency. but its not like you do that to make him rely on you, you just want him to be more confident in his healing progress! "Reo, you can do this, you dont need anyone to be strong." youd flash that sweet smile of yours and he gives you a soft look. "you really think so..?"

the more time you guys connect, the more he just sees you more that go beyond that patient-doctor bond. he admires the way you talk, the way you comfort him, and your sweet smile. hed always be in a trance when you speak because your voice is so soft, sometimes he doesnt even realize you asked him a questioned and youd have to shake him to come back to reality.

"reo? you okay?" you raised your eyebrow in confusion and concern. but hed only be startled, avoiding your gaze. "y-yes...just thinking." hed cover his mouth with his hand with such a flushed face. just from that moment, hes not just attached, but in love.

but hed always tried to reject that possibility. no no, hes not in love, he just really appreciate you for trying your best to help him...yeah thats it. he justifies his feeling as you just doing your job and you help him a lot. like when hed want to talk to you more often than scheduled sessions...or when youre so kind to him. sure everyones been super friendly with him, but you were just so different from others.

finishing up your session you click your pen and settle down your clipboard. "reo, youre making such great progress! you should be proud of yourself!" you clasped your hand together with that cheery face of yours. reo really didnt care about feeling better anymore. he just wanted to be with you at all times. sometimes he might even slip up to make his feelings for you obvious, but your naive self just take it as him still in the healing process.

he wouldnt want to try and make it obvious, but how could he make it known that he did love you? ah, thats right. money! hes rich, he can basically use that as a way to win your affection, its worked on others, itll work on you too.

at first hed test the waters, buying you such expensive gifts that not even you can afford or would even have thought of buying. designer clothes, watches, or some sort of vacation, telling you that you deserve a break from your hard work. (the trip will just be you and him www).

hell donate to the clinic, he tells your family members to keep it a secret from you because he doesnt want you to know hes funding your workplace, youd probably just try to refuse the money, but he just wants to make your life easier! and by that...he also wants to help with any bills you have under your name or debts you need to pay off like medical school.

he thinks its his way of showing his newfound "love" to you. everybody loves money dont they? its perfect. whenever hed suggest giving you an abundance of money, you just refuse, shaking your head.

"reo, i cant accept this," youd frown while crossing your arms.

hed get nervous from the way you react, why are you rejecting his money? no one ever has. "just let me do something nice for you. its a way of repaying back." hed laughed it off, but hes so scared you might catch on. whenever you reject his gifts, he gets so frustrated. he thinks even his money isnt enough for you. or was he, himself whole wasnt enough?

if you werent going to tend to his advances, he might as well just...say it to you right? hed gaslight himself into thinking maybe you wanted him to directly say it, maybe thats why you refused to take anything from him.

"alright reo, thank you for your time today! im glad to see you almost in shape and youll back to blue lock!" seeing you stand up from your chair, hed take hold of your wrist, not budging.

"[n-name]...i know this is very sudden. but." he stopped in his tracks, standing up looking down at your figure before taking both of your hands in his. hed inhale a breath before making eye contact with you again.

"i see you more as my doctor [name]. you make me feel like i could be the person i truly want to be..." hed caress your hands with his thumb. he thinks he just made it worse for the both of you. the silence is heavy as you stare at him in disbelief.

"im glad i can provide that space for you reo, but you cannot do this, nor can i accept any of the gifts you give me." reo can only frown, his desperation clearly showing.

"why? because im just a patient to your eyes? i can be more than that. you can quit your job and ill provide the money for you. you and your family!" he tightens his hold on you and his look is pleading. but you can only shake your head in refusal. "i must remain professional reo."

after that confession reo would pretend like hes fine, but thats because he was embarrassed and sadden. but its not like hed give up, he just wanted to give off the impression that he didnt care, but he did.

"to think someone could reject me, its refreshing." hed smile it off but you can only sigh, it just seems like hes trying to remind you of that.

he thinks to himself that if expensive gifts wont work on you, hed switch to personalized ones. like a favorite show you mentioned, he would buy merch and give it to you. or if you mentioned a book you wanted to read but never had the time to go buy it, hed buy it for you alright.

hed try to make it hard for you to completely cut him off by just spending an abundance amount on the funds, donations or buying out your workplace...

hes always offering to help, but even when you did refuse hed just play it off as being generous, but really he just doesnt want to give up on you.

he resorts to more desperate measures without even realizing it. "youre the only person who sees who i really am. if you leave too...whats left of me..?" hed caress your hand with his thumbs. lifting the hand to give a sweet gentle kiss to it.

"reo, you have to learn how-" he cuts you off, pulling you in to take hold of your waist.

"why do you fight so much? you care about me, i know you do!" your hands lay on his chest to try and push him off, but he wouldnt budge even a bit! "not in the way you want me to reo. youre my patient." hed stay silent for a bit, biting his lips from your response until blood was drawn. only to let out a bitter laugh.

"so im just another patient for you? just another worthless being you have to fix?!" hed squeeze you tighter, until your bodies connected. "youre not worthless reo. and youre important to me, but it isnt right to do this." youd frown hoping he can finally understand the situation hes in right now.

"then why does it feel like youre the only thing keeping me together..?" hed rest his forehead on your shoulder with his voice cracking. "please. just let me love you. youre my treasure."

this took forever to write and think out i hope it is okay to you guys! since it is not smut i feel like it will flop ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

[sleepyskeleton-0]

SPOILERS FOR STH 3!!!

Scene analysis (heavily focused on Knuckles).

So there’s this scene in Sonic 3 in London where Sonic decides that despite their initial intentions to never use the master emerald anymore, he insists on using it for vengeance (after Shadow hurts Tom).

In this scene Sonic and Knuckles stand head to head and get worked up to the point where they’re charging up their powers, (Tails in kinda in the middle trying to calm them both down).

I got emotional in this scene, like full on tears in my eyes for a split second. Let me tell you why:

This is the scene that shows Knuckles’ endless patience for Sonic and Tails.

We know as an audience that Knux is always eager to go into battle, perhaps even too eager, but when it comes to his siblings, he’s always patient. So when Sonic tries to start a fight with him, he gets riled up at first but then takes a moment to calm himself down.

He refrains from hurting his brother and instead tries to talk to him calmly, to reason with him.

And if that’s not an oldest sibling strait I honestly don’t know what is.

I don’t think some people realise how hard it is to stay calm when your younger siblings are angering you. Like not teasing but properly pissing you off, especially if your sibling is a younger teenager (think 11-14 or 15).

At some point, you as the oldest have to realise that you have to be the calm one because naturally, teens are hormonal as shit and they can’t really help it (sometimes). We’ve all been there and we all know what it feels like to get wound up easily as a kid, and as an oldest child, you didn’t have someone who would calmly deal with you. Your parents would just get angry or chalk it up to a phase, so it’s either too much discipline or none at all for their first kid, then leave them to deal with the others when they grow up (obviously this isn’t the case with the trio here bc they were all taken in as teens so it’s different - the attention Tom and Maggie would’ve shown to them as babies and children are being shown now that they’re actually a family).

So shout out to all my oldest siblings out there, including Knuckles, because it’s like constantly taking punches to the face and actively remaining steady on your feet without letting your anger get the best of you.

This especially goes for a traumatic or high anxiety situation, like Tom’s injury. Sonic’s love for him and his worry and regret is consuming him in this moment and throwing him into a blind rage. Tails is also really worried, and as the youngest, it goes without saying that you try to cushion any pain as much as possible, so he’s not gonna be expected to help. Who’s left then? To help deal with Sonic? Knuckles.

He realises Sonic’s having a hard time, knows what it feels like to lose loved ones, understands the worry of “will they return home?” and how the reality of the situation can hit at any moment and how crippling it can be.

So Knuckles swallows his pride and tries to reason with Sonic.

And it’s really fucking hard to do that. Especially when being put in this position.

This rant feels repetitive but I have to get it out there just how hard it is to do this. At the end of the day, even if we are the oldest sibling, even if we have an obligation to be the bigger person, we still have feelings. All this emotional burden is gonna build up. It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just the position we were born in. It’s our job to be that pillar of strength for our younger siblings, but if you keep throwing small stones at a pillar, eventually it’ll start to chip and crumble. So to have the strength to remain steady is the real superpower.

Like holy shit, talk about dual burden. Knux is also feeling the pain of potentially losing Tom, but he’s still there to comfort and protect his family and also shoulder his own difficult emotions. Because no one was there to do that for him when he needed it the most. He may never have anyone to protect him quite like that, and an older sibling will protect their younger ones even if it means making sacrifices. Remember that parents don’t have the same effect as siblings. Adults can only have so much understanding, but growth moves with the times, and each coming generation develops in unique ways, so grown ups will never grasp the full extent of the younger generation’s struggles, just as us younger people will never understand what they went through and how they dealt with it.

So props to Knuckles, he really is 1000000% muscle, and his most important muscles, his heart and brain, work together incredibly well. He doesn’t have to be book smart, his emotional intelligence makes up for that.

(Disclaimer: this is just my interpretation so just take it with a grain of salt, also sorry for this utterly incoherent rant, I have feelings about this movie- and this silly little echidna.)

[moldy-flowers]

UCHIHA CLAN HEADCANON THAT THEY'RE ALL SECRETLY YAPPERS.

Okay hear me out hear me out hear me out. Sasuke, is not a yapper, bc he's internalised all his yapping‼️ He doesn't know the Uchiha ways of the yap!!

Okay so like, when the children are like children, they're the ultimate yappers. But not near people they don't know. Imagine like Itachi coming home and Sasuke sprinting to the door yelling "Ni-San" repeatedly while jumping up and down. You can see it, cant you? BECAUSE HES A YAPPER!!

AND WHEN THEY AND WHEN THEY GROW UP THEY LIKE PICK A PERSON TO YAP OFF TOO AND LIKE THATS THAT PERSON FOR LIFE ITS LIKE SOULMATES SORT OF⁉️⁉️⁉️

Itachi was never a yapper and that's why Fugaku was like "Dont turn out like Itachi..." to Sasuke bc Itachi never conformed to the true Uchiha way!! They knew there was something wrong w him day one!!!

You know that scene where Sasuke to Mikoto is like "Does father care more about Itachi than me?? :(" and Mikoto tells him that actually Fugaku talks about Sasuke all the time behind closed doors? WELL IT MAKES SENSE NOW BC BC WHEN THE UCHIHA GROW UP THEY ONLY YAP TO THE PERSON THEY ARE CLOSEST TO I.E. MIKOTO‼️‼️ FUGAKU YAPS ALL THE TIME TO MIKOTO AND MIKOTO TO HIM‼️‼️

This also works for Shisui bc if we assume Shisuis parents died when he was young, Shisui never had anyone to raise him properly apart from the clan, and he wasn't really apart of their family's. Not to mention he was really highly praised and his goofy silly guy personality was brushed off bc Holy crap where the fuck did he go IS HE BEHIND ME WTF HOW??? HES LIKE 8!!???? WHAT THE SHIT‼️‼️‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️ So Shisui is at the age where he'd stop being a yapper but he's too far gone he's just a goof now and we love him for that.

Also, if we look at our beloved boy Izuna!! He's kind of a goober but he doesn't get the chance to goob around with everyone cause they're in war :(( He's a prankster bc he wants to lift up everyones spirits but when he's not w/ his family hes a snarky bitch (We love him for that!! We all cheer in unison)

Madara, we all saw his friendship with Hashirama, that boy was a yapper‼️ But the one he chose to yap to was Hashirama so most of the time he listens to Izuna yapping and stays quiet bc hashi is the enemy :((

Now our little freaky boy Obito!! He had no proper teacher of the Uchiha ways (pffft he doesn't even know the ways of the Uchiha yap? He's a lost cause just ignore him :// ) and he's lonely to he just yaps and yaps and yaps to anybody with an ear. But then he met Madara and was deyapped. He talks to himself though so just think that counts as a little yap.

Now onto the star of the show the silly little loser Sasuke :33 (Our boy!! our boy!! We all scream clap and cry) When everyone died he was too sad and scared and paranoid and traumatized to yap if anybody would have actually listened. And hc that he desperately clings into anything Uchiha bc he wants to be as close to his family as possible. And everybody he knew was stone cold, or calm and collected and kind to those they were close to. So he too would be stone cold and calm and collected!!! It wasn't too difficult to close himself off because he didn't have any friends in the first place. But did you notice how that when he shows Fugaku his grades and they're all straight A+'s, and in the show we learn they are also graded on their ability to work with others, and in Naruto: the last we see Naruto Sasuke and Sakura sitting at the same table!? Using our heads and our amazing smarts we, together as a team can deduce this means that Sasuke actually worked with a group and worked so well with them that it was deemed an A+ (DESPITE THE FACT HE WAS REALLY ANTI-SOCIAL!? I COULD NEVER) So this means that at a table Sasuke worked with his future team very well despite the fact their personalitys clashed so much, Sakura a nervous wreck which is something Sasuke outwardly hates, and Naruto, a prankster who totally has ADHD and will not focus on anything, and Sasuke at the time was pretty compassionate despite being a little bratty!! They worked together!! (this could also be when Sakura developed a crush on Sasuke!! And Naruto on Sakura!!! Do you see!?? My Uchiha yapping agenda is so canon!!!) I went on a little bit of a rant there BUT we also see at the beginning of the manga that Sasuke actually scored pretty low on his ability to work with others!! He was trying to be more like his dead clan by being stoic and closed off!! He doesnt know they were secretly sensitive losers!! (Whenever they're alone with their partner they're immediately clingy and become the most touch starved people in existence and cling to eachother like if they let go they'll suffocate and die)

Omg fic where for an amount of time Naruto Sasuke and Sakura have a group project that extends before and after the massacre and during it we see Sasuke go from Reluctantly a ball of Sunshine and energy to really depressed and jittery to cold hearted and stoic!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SOMEOME WRITE IT FOR ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

And so like, it's in the Uchiha genes to yap!! But Sasukes yaps have been internalised and his first like really long time in Konoha he has to relearn how to have conversations with people bc he just yaps in his head and forgets to respond. Everyone thinks Sasuke is soooo intimidating bc he just stands there and glares (He doesn't realise he's glaring) at you and makes you feel really really stupid but he's actually just wondering if he can adopt a fluffy pink cat bc he saw Sakura earlier and wants to know if cats can be pink too. Now he's wondering if he breeds the cats correctly if he could get a rainbow cat. Oh what did you say? SHIT uhmm just roll eyes and walk away roll eyes and walk away. Kiba has a theory that Sasuke is plotting something (He's plotting gay coloured cats) Unfortunately he's so quiet mysterious guy coded that he never truly learns to let out his inner yaps. But when he's home alone or w/ a partner he's comfortable with (Whoever you ship him with) He happily listens or when it's quiet he hums long forgotten lullabys that his mother used to sing. Although im not letting go of my touch starved clingy Sasuke agenda he hums while hugging with a vice grip. And also when Sarada was little he would sing songs to her go help her sleep (Sasuke singing somewhere over the rainbow anyone?? :33)

HAVE YOU BEEN CONVINCED BY MY YAPPER UCHIHA AGENDA!?!?!?!?!?!? HAVE YOU BEEN INFECTED BY THE YAPPER VIRUS YET!????

[ifortom]

Bad Decisions - T.H. (2)

frat!Tom x Reader - Fake dating AU

Chapter Summary: Y/N and Tom find themselves attending a lively party together, their mission disguised as a couple. As they navigate the evening's social intricacies, they must maintain their charade amidst curious friends.

MASTERLIST

W/C: +4K

• DAY 1

This was definitely a position you never expected to find yourself in.

While Tom was lying relaxed on your bed the day after you agreed to his deal, you paced back and forth without stopping. Several thoughts were going through your head with several different theories about why you had accepted such a crazy and risky proposal as this one.

Would it be out of pity for yourself? A way to save yourself the headache and questions from family members about when your big day will arrive, or why you're single?

Even worse, spare you from getting questions about your traumatic breakup with He Who Must Not Be Named?

Was all this to help a friend?

Truth be told - but never out loud - a large part of the decision was made out of jealousy. The photos from last night and your reactions are proof that you couldn't bear to see Tom with girls who don't deserve him. "Would you stop? It's making me dizzy." Tom said as he sat up properly on the bed. His hand patted the mattress twice, inviting you to join him.

"Sorry. I just… I'm nervous." You said as you sat on the bed next to him, your hands rubbing against each other trying to hide the tremors. Tom noticed.

"Y/N why are you so nervous? I thought you agreed." His hands were now intertwined with yours. "Besides, if you don't want to… that's okay. I'm not going to force you into anything and you know that."

"That's not it… I agreed, but that's strange. How should we act? What are we going to say?"

"Most people will say they saw it coming." Tom chuckled while you rolled your eyes. "Come on, I know you also heard that we should be together a while ago".

"God, even Professor Riley asked me that once." You said, releasing your hands from his and hiding your face.

"Really? Did we have any of his classes together?" Tom asked.

"Not really, but you always waited for me outside his class so we could go to lunch together. He just assumed."

"See? I think everyone figured this would happen at some point."

But would it be in these conditions? A lie. That was what this new side of your friendship would be based on.

"Okay. Since we're going to do this we need to establish some rules."

"Great, we've reached the cliché part of any fake dating deal." Tom says mockingly. "Don't tell me we can't kiss… it's impossible to make it believable if we don't do the basics."

"I wasn't going to say that, we certainly need minimal PDA." You say, getting up and walking around the room again. "But it turns out that your love language is physical touch, which happens to make you very touchy with everyone you like and have the intimacy to do."

"Okay, no touching anyone who isn't my fake girlfriend." He says. "We spend a lot of time together, nothing out of the ordinary."

"That, and being in a relationship also means you need to slow down your partying and spend more time with your partner."

"But… it also means that said partner can accompany me to these parties." Tom shot back.

"Tom, I'm not available on the same frequency as you are."

"Seriously, Y/N! It's not like I spend most of my time at frat parties." He looked at you in disbelief. "You know that very well."

He wasn't lying, Tom may have a big life but he is extremely centered and doesn't let himself get carried away so easily.

"Okay, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that. It's just…Sean used to go to a lot of parties while we were together." You sighed. "And not that that's a problem, after all just because we were dating didn't mean we needed to be glued to each other all the time, but… he was on another campus and it was strange not knowing what was going on. We know how wild these parties can get and I was always very worried because I wouldn't find out he was at one until the next day."

Tom put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you with him to lie down on the bed. Automatically, you settled into his arms, resting your head on his chest.

"He's an asshole, and everyone knows it. You don't have to worry about that with me." His hand caressed your arm. "As a friend and as a fake boyfriend, I will never leave you in a position like that."

"Thanks, Tommy!" Snuggling more and more into his body.

After a few minutes in the same position, you get up, patting Tom's chest.

"Okay, so what do we do now? What's the next step? We have two months until my sister's wedding, not counting the unofficial events that will take place beforehand."

"I think we need to start by introducing ourselves as a couple. And we start on campus."

"Shall we hold hands before entering the classroom? And will I watch you at training and games?" You say with a shameless smile.

"That too! But I thought we'd start sooner." He says, lifting his body and returning to the sitting position next to you.

"How?" You ask suspiciously and Tom sighs.

"It's Saturday and the team organized a little get together tonight to celebrate the start of the season. Which means it's not a huge party like usual. It's just the players and some friends." He analyzed your face before continuing. "I think it would be a great place for the news to start circulating. These are people close to me and I want you to meet them."

"You know our football players don't have the best reputation, right?"

"I know that, but they're good people. We're young, Y/N, and we mess up from time to time."

"You also break the hearts of innocent girls for fun." You laughed.

"Not everyone." He replied. "Not that it interests you much, but I always make it clear that everything is nothing more than a one night stand."

"What a gentleman you are, Tom Holland. Women love to be thought of like that."

"Stop making me be the bad guy. I say this so they don't get their hopes up about it happening again."

"If that's your motto, why would your friends think I'm any different?" You say quietly, and notice the proximity of your face and Tom, who is completely relaxed, supporting the weight of his body on his arms resting on the bed.

He calmly raises one of his hands and removes a strand of hair from your face, placing it behind your ear.

"Because you're different, and they know it. You're a constant in my life and that's not going to change."

Tom Holland has a habit of speaking dangerous words. Both for him and for you. It's not the first time he swears an eternal relationship between you and every time he repeats the promise your heart almost stops.

It's hard not to have deep thoughts when a handsome, intelligent and charming man says he wants to spend his life by your side.

"Is Taylor going to be there?" You ask, purposefully breaking the mood.

Tom's eyes move away from your face and stare at the wall.

"I'm not sure. But she's Jack's sister, so it's likely."

"Alright! We need to fulfill your side of the agreement too. Then we can think about what to do about the wedding."

"So we're going to the party?" He says and the fact that he used we, as if without you he wouldn't go, did things to your heart. But that's thinking too deeply, right?

"Hm…" You pretended to think. "Yes, Holland, we are.”

Once decided, you and Tom ordered a delivery for lunch while talking about the party and other common issues that were already a topic of conversation between the two of you.

He left a while later and said he would pick you up at home by car and you would go together to the house of one of the team's players where the little get together, as he said, would take place.

The butterflies in your stomach intensified the moment he left and you realized there was no turning back.

You could give up on everything but Tom was counting on you and the adrenaline was doing you good.

Especially when you reflected on your family's reaction to seeing that you had found another boy. And knowing Tom, you know that he would soon be embraced by your family with his kind and polite way.

Even though you know that there is an expiration date that has not yet been defined between you.

Since today is a non-school day, you spent the afternoon trying to distract yourself from the fact that you would be introducing yourself as someone's girlfriend after a while. Even crazier is introducing herself as the girlfriend of Tom Holland, one of the most popular guys on campus and star of the team. Even though Sean isn't very different, Tom is your friend and all of this was just a farce so that the two of you could benefit in some way.

But that can't stop you from the good feeling of being with someone in public and doing all the couple things you like.

You and Tom didn't rehearse or define what you were going to say and act when you arrived, you were just going to do what you normally do. But with more touches and caresses.

You looked in the mirror and checked what must have been your fifth change of clothes. You're not insecure, but today your feelings are running high and for the first time in a long time, you feel nervous about the idea of ​​going out.

Between dresses and pants, you opted for a black skirt that covered half of your thighs, not too short but not too discreet either. A tight white blouse and a beige cardigan covered your upper half. Along with sneakers on your feet for comfort.

Light but striking makeup painted your face. And you felt good about what you saw in the mirror. Until the apartment doorbell rang and you felt the butterflies in your stomach again.

Tom wasn't much different than what you're used to. He wore black pants, a white blouse and a cap on his head.

"Why are you wearing a cap at night?" That's what you told him.

"Woah, thanks for letting me praise you before you criticize me." He responded ironically. "But do you think it's bad?"

"I just don't understand the purpose." You say closing and locking the door behind you as you leave the apartment.

"Maybe…" He started taking the cap off his head and placing it on yours. "I just wanted to be able to make my girlfriend wear something of mine. That was the purpose." He says adjusting it.

"But now you just destroyed my outfit that took me a long time to decide." You say pouting.

Tom laughed and held your hand, walking with you to the car.

"You look beautiful!" He said and heat rose to your cheeks.

"You're just as you always are. Where's the effort, Holland?" You respond, in an attempt to divert the topic away from you and how you are.

The way to the house was quicker than it seemed and you had no idea you lived so close to one of the team's players. Tom parked and made a point of opening the door on your side, already meeting looks from people who were passing by. You removed the cap from your head and threw it in the back seat before getting out.

Outside, you looked at the house and the number of cars parked around it. It was also possible to hear the music coming from inside.

"Now is the time. I need to know that you are sure about this. If you don't want to we can leave or you could have just come to accompany me as my friend." He stopped in front of you, capturing your attention on his face. "You decide Y/N."

And after he said that, a quick doubtful thought crossed his mind. Was it really right to do this? How many people would get involved and believe your story? Your friends, Tom's, your family?

Not to mention the friendship between you. How many books and films prove that a fake relationship between two great friends ends in trouble are there?

But you remembered Tom's reaction when you laughed at his idea and how he avoided you the next day. He seemed extremely embarrassed by what he had suggested. Maybe your friendship was already doomed to failure the moment he proposed it.

So what else is there to be done? The alternative is to take advantage and continue with the plan. Who knows the end of this story? Only you can write it and if it depends on you, the promise to always be by his side will last for eternity. Nothing will come in the way of your friendship.

Looking into his eyes you nodded.

"I'm sure, let's do it." Tom smiled and offered his hand which you held tightly as you walked together to the entrance of the house.

From the inside, it was already possible to see that the definition of small get together for you and those people was the complete opposite. Really, the place wasn't packed with people like other parties tend to be, but it seemed like every room accommodated a group.

Tom greeted some people on the way who pointed out the back of the house for him.

When you passed through the huge door that gave access to the garden, a circle of people sat in a covered space. Tom walked up to them and you finally recognized some faces. Harrison, with whom you had already shared some classes together and is a close friend of Tom's, as well as Brian, who had made the unnecessary comment about you and Tom a few days ago, and some girls on the cheer team

"Finally! The man of the hour." Harrison said ironically and the others laughed.

"Sorry, I had to make a stop." And Tom pulled you closer to him, letting go of your hand and resting his on your waist.

"Woah, Y/N! I didn't expect to see you here." Harrison said.

"Yeah… Tom can be pretty convincing." You replied looking at Tom.

"So you guys are…" Tyler, who you recognized, began to speak.

“Y/N is my date tonight.” Tom replied.

"Good job, Tommy." Brian said, raising the bottle of beer he was drinking as if in salute to Tom, a sarcastic smile on the corner of his mouth.

This caused you discomfort and Tom squeezed your waist.

Amber, one of the cheerleaders, who was always very friendly and not the classic stereotype, smiled at you.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N.” She said, getting looks from the other girls.

Tom pulled out one of the upholstered benches and sat down and when you looked at him as if asking what to do, he just looked at his lap.

It's hard to believe he simply wants you to sit on his lap. As if it were something normal and that you do every day.

He looked at you again and signaled for you to sit down. It didn't seem like it, but you felt extremely awkward as you tried to settle into his lap without looking uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, including the fact that you were wearing a skirt.

When you finally felt like you weren't showing anything you didn't want, you leaned back against Tom's chest and he also placed one of his arms on your lap, in an attempt to protect you.

His breath hit your neck, giving you goosebumps. That's how it would be from now on. One of his hands was holding your waist, while the other was on top of your thigh, even over your skirt, you could feel the heat emanating from him.

Tyler offered Tom a beer, who politely declined, explaining that he was driving, which caused a fit of laughter among some of the guys.

"I have a girl to protect." He replied and you saved the fact that you needed to reprimand him for driving after drinking.

After Tom denied it, Tyler pointed the bottle at you, who hesitated but Tom whispered in your ear that it was okay, that you could have fun and he would take care of you if you needed it.

And so the night went on, the boys really weren't what they seemed to be. Even with some unnecessary comments from time to time, they made you laugh and told stories you didn't know about. Even the cheerleaders were including you in their conversations.

"Are you having fun?" Tom whispered in your ear.

You turned to face him the way you could within the position you were in.

"They're not that bad." You answered. "At least, not all of them." You laughed, adjusting yourself on his lap so that you were on your side, legs crossed over his, making it easier to look at him.

Tom knew that you were mainly referring to Brian, that at one time or another he made comments about you and looked at you without stopping. At these moments, he would seek your attention and try to reassure you with touches showing that he was there.

"Not everything can be perfect, right?"

You laughed and threw your arms around his neck, bringing his face closer to yours.

"What is that?" He asked.

"We need to make this believable, right?" You answered. The drink was already taking effect and you were feeling more daring than usual.

His nose brushed yours, your breaths mixed due to the little space between you.

"You're dangerous, you know that?" He responded slowly.

"Really? I don't think I am."

"Why did you dress like that tonight? I wasn't lying when I said you look beautiful. And other things…"

"What you mean? Do you have a thing for legs?” You asked, playing with the hair on the back of his neck and his hand caressed the exposed part of your thigh.

"You know you're hot today. I know you. Who are you trying to impress?" He asked, squeezing your thigh.

"There's only one person I need to impress." You replied seductively. "And I think I've done a good job."

Tom and you often playfully flirt. He never held back when praising you, but something was different today. Blame it on the beer, but your perception was that he was enjoying this deeper game you were playing.

And yes, you were also more sassy than usual. The mouth close to his and the slow way you spoke were proof of that.

"Hey, I think you guys better find a room." Harrison interrupted whatever was going on between you. You pulled away, realizing you were lost in him and forgot about the people around you.

Amber called you by name.

"Shall we go to the bathroom?"

"Why do you girls have this thing about going to the bathroom together?" Tyler asked.

Amber smiled and pulled you by the hand, making Tom let go.

"We share secrets." She replied cheekily and you left together.

"Girl, what was that? You two were almost swallowing each other in front of all of us." She said as soon as she closed the bathroom door and you laughed.

"I didn't even notice." You responded by covering your face.

"I just have to congratulate you, Tom Holland is definitely the most sought-after guy on the team." She said taking out a lip gloss from the small bag she was carrying and looking at herself in the mirror. "But you were friends, right? I always saw you guys together, but today it seems like you can't keep your hands off each other."

"Yeah… we are, we're trying something." You replied and Amber smiled offering you the lip gloss which you refused.

"And I wish you guys luck, I'm happy for him. I hope you guys last." She said and the last sentence bothered you, pricking that small piece of sobriety in you. "Let's go back?" She said opening the door.

When you were close enough to the circle, you realized that Tom was no longer there. Lost, you looked around for him but to no avail.

“He went to get you some water from the kitchen” Harrison announced seeing your confusion and you nodded at him.

"And do you know who went after him?" Brian's voice filled the space. "Taylor. And it's also been a while since he left and hasn't come back yet." He shrugged as if there were no ulterior motives behind his words.

You looked back and without responding went into the house. Even though you bumped into several strangers on the way, you found the kitchen but Tom was no longer there.

He wouldn't leave you there alone, right? He wouldn't embarrass you like that by showing up to the party with you and leaving with another girl.

Tom may be many things but he values ​​your friendship and wouldn't do that to you. Or would he? Would he allow himself to be carried away by his desire for a girl?

Panic set in, and you looked around for any sign of him, that he was still there.

Fingers found your shoulders and you turned around in fright. You expected to find Tom but the one in front of you was Taylor. Her eyes cold and glued to your face.

"I will destroy you." She said. "I thought my relationship with Tom was very clear, but apparently some people need to learn in a harder way."

It was unbelievable the things she could say. Taylor truly believed there was a relationship between them. And from the way she said it, they had already met at the party while you were away and apparently she didn't get what she wanted.

At any other time you would have avoided conflict, not out of fear, but because of the passive way you live outside of confusion that doesn't concern you. But how can a stranger threaten you like that? Who does she think she is?

"So this is how you react when you don't get what you want? You think threatening others will make things happen for you?" Taylor didn't expect you to hit back and her stance dropped. "You should wake up to life, not everyone will give in to your desires out of fear of you."

Her shocked expression was what you needed to put an end to the conversation, turn your back and return to Tom's arms.

But you weren't finished yet.

"Tom and I are together, and that's what we call a relationship." And with that you left her.

It didn't take long for you to find the person you were looking for, who had returned to the back of the house where the rest of the people were. But he hadn't joined them yet, in fact he was waiting for you near the door.

He saw you and smiled but noticed your irritated expression as you walked towards him.

"Hey, what happened?" His hands cupped your face. "Why that face?"

"I ran into Taylor, and I know you did too."

"What did she say to you?" His expression was one of concern. "Y/N, I cut her off right away. I said I was here with someone else and…"

You didn't let him finish, in seconds his lips were on yours.

Tom seemed surprised and hesitant but then he pulled you closer by the waist and your arms wrapped around his neck.

The kiss got deeper and deeper and you forgot that there was an audience watching. Tom explored your mouth with his tongue as if he depended on it.

The lack of air made you pull away but soon your lips collided again as if it was painful to be apart.

"Y/N, we need to stop now. I don't…"

"I don't want to." You replied, again pulling him closer.

"I admit I don't either, but we have too many eyes on us." He said laughing lightly and running his eyes over the people staring at the two of you.

You took a deep breath and rested your head on his chest, hiding your face.

"It's a shame because I won't know when we'll do it again." You said quietly but clearly enough for Tom.

His fingers squeezed you tightly because he understood what you meant. It was all a lie, and displays of affection at this level should only be done in public spaces.

"I think you went a little overboard on the beer." He sighed. "Shall we go home? It's late."

"I want to be with you."

"Let's go then. I'll let you sleep in my bed, even at the risk of waking up full of vomit." He laughed and you punched his shoulder.

You quickly said goodbye to the group of people, including Taylor who had joined them and had witnessed your entire show. Some of the boys raised their hands in thumbs up as if they knew what would happen when Tom took you home.

Oh if only they knew the truth.

TAGLIST: @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @un06 @lnmp89 @hoodharlow @let-me-luve-you @erule @smoofine @smile2345 @itsdoni @helen-on-earth @kagtobis @let-me-luve-you @erule @smoofine @jennifersworldsblog @itsdoni @helen-on-earth @appleypi @spetacular-skywalker @marajillana @hufflepuff-n-fluff @aol19 @milasexutoire @watarmelon212 @miniaturetreecollectorfan-blog @tomhollandfavwife @aol19 @twsssmlmaa

[luvztodd]

I honestly just stumbled upon ur blog quite recently and js have to say i love ur works sm (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠). not sure if you're taking reqs right now but if u do plspls hear me out on jason todd w a reader whos in the league of assassin (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧. looking forward to reading more of ur stories btw always brightens up my day to read them ngl (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

a/n: thank you so so much for your kind words! it makes my heart full to hear that you enjoy my work. i love this concept and i loved having fun with it. i hope you enjoy anon! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

ME AND MY ASSASSIN

jason todd x FEM ASSASSIN! reader

in which jason feels the presence of somebody he used to know

♬⋆.˚ Every Breath You Take - The Police

"I'll be watching you, every single day, every word you say."

contains: stalking, brief childhood trauma, brief violence, teenage romance

Jason has felt a presence lurking around him for weeks now. He swore every time he turned around he’d catch something dart out from his field of vision. It had him constantly on edge.

Since he was a child, fending for himself in the slums of Crime Alley, he’s had to look over his shoulder. Whether it was to ensure a creep didn’t try and take what little money he had on him or a hooker wasn’t trying to force herself onto him. Even when he was Robin, when he was ‘safe’ with Bruce, he still found himself looking over his shoulder.

His entire life, he was just waiting for someone to inevitably hurt him.

And then he had truly been hurt. He had been betrayed of the highest order. By family.

He had died and come back a man. No longer a slender, lanky, pimple-faced fifteen year old but a bulky, scarred, traumatized man that had to duck his head through doorways. Talia had taught him to utilize his body, to get used to the changes he had experienced, to become a soldier. But he never knew if she was helping him for her own gains or if because she genuinely cared.

He had thought on a few naive occasions that she really might’ve cared because as it turns out she had taken another pupil under her wing. You. A misguided young girl, who from what he heard, was previously trapped as a pit-fighter in a snow-covered village deep in the mountains of somewhere far off.

Jason had learned from the time he spent with Talia that she was incredibly fond of you. And in turn, Jason had become fond of you too. He hadn’t spent much time around girls when he was in Gotham so spending time with you was a new experience. He was somehow smooth enough to be able to convince you to sneak off with him when Talia wasn’t around.

He was curious by nature and he wanted you to be curious just like him, so the two of you would explore the surrounding Himalayan forests. When he was in the comfort of your presence he liked to make up childish stories about the forest and what creatures could be lurking in the shadows. He would never allow himself to act like this with anyone else but you; it was rare he got to act like a child and experience what he never got to have.

Jason would share things about Gotham that he missed and in turn you would share customs or traditions from your hometown. You two had much more in common than you both originally thought. And as time passed, you both got older and hormones began to properly develop without any hindrance this time causing you two to see each other in a different light.

But when Talia had caught you and Jason exploring each other, she had sent you both away. Afraid that the distraction of love would set you both off of the course she had set. She ordered Jason to travel the globe and further his training while you had stay behind in the Himalayas.

Jason didn’t see you again for a long after that.

But of course, he had felt you.

Years later, he was now Red Hood and he was back in Gotham City enacting the revenge he used to dream of. The same plans that he would tell you about, the plans where he pictured you by his side as he made them a reality. Sometimes he would wonder where you were now. He would imagine you were just another member of the League. Slicing heads off and what not. Probably standing by Talia’s side as you always had before.

But as time went on he realized that he didn’t have to imagine too hard, especially not when he would catch glimpses of dark green Arabian silk ducking out of sight when he’d turn around. It didn’t take long for him to figure out it was you. And it didn’t take long to realize you now wore the same silk and golden armor that Talia used to wear.

He wondered if you would ever come out of hiding. Did he have to prompt you into revealing yourself? Did you seriously think he couldn’t see you?

All of these accumulated thoughts led to a cold winter night in Gotham. Jason felt it again, the prickle on the back of his neck, the cold beneath his gloved hands. You were following him, again for the umpteenth time. He turned around and a flash of green silk flew by, ducking behind the generator on top of the roof. He let out a long, deep sigh before beginning to speak.

“You’re not slick, ya’ know that right?” He said in his typical Gotham drawl. Years away from home could never take his accent away from him. In response to his question, there was nothing. Just echoes of sirens, cars honking and distant yelling. Typical city buzz.

“Just come out, c’mon. Unless you’re on some kinda top secret mission for Talia. Then stay hidden, i guess.”

Again, silence.

Jason groaned and rubbed a hand across his face, giving up. When he had begun to turn back around to face the city, he felt a faint gush of air, and then a figure beside him. He gruffly chuckled, his voice raspy and deep.

“There you are.”

You looked up at him, the sharp eyeliner you wore framing the way your eyes seemed to glow in the crescent moon. “How long have you known?”

“The whole time. We were trained by the same woman, ya know? And i have a few more years of experience on you. Trust me, i know when someone’s stalking me.”

“I wouldn’t refer to it as stalking.” You huffed, crossing your arms. “I was just watching you. Observing.”

“So you were just, observing me when i was all alone in my room? When i was changing? Taking a shower?” He slyly insinuated. He knew this would rile you up. Maybe that’s what he wanted. Maybe he wanted you to break this stupid ‘character’ the League had turned you into.

“I wasn’t watching you in such way.” You defended yourself. An accent similar to Talia’s slipping out now that you were quickly losing your composure.

“Sure, sure. While you were observing did ya’ see anything you like? Any questions, comments or concerns about my daily life?” Jason hummed casually.

Jason studied your face as you tried to think of something to throw back at him. Your jaw was clenched, your left hand fingers picked at the golden paint on your right hand fingernails, your brows were furrowed into a soft arch.

He simply shook his head and let out a soft laugh, “Too much thinking for you? Its alright. You can think of a comeback later. For now, i wanna know why you were really following me.” His tone shifted into something more serious with his last sentence.

“Are you accusing me of something?” You looked up at him, your face now steely and expressionless.

“Maybe. Do i need to be accusing you of something other than stalking?”

“It would be smart to be wary. Unless you’ve forgotten you’re training while you’ve been….” You glanced around, your lip twitching downwards into an almost-scowl. “here.” You finished with a huff.

“Hop off your high horse. I haven’t forgotten anything i need to remember while i’ve been here, at home.”

“Is that what you consider this city? A home?”

“Hey, watch it.” Jason scoffed incredulously, standing up a little straighter. “Just…tell me why you’ve been following me or leave.” Jason grit his teeth. He was glad he chose to wear his helmet tonight, otherwise the expression on his face would’ve given away that he didn’t truly want you to leave. He just wanted you to fess up.

“Talia sent me here. But not for you.”

That sentence gave Jason pause, he looked down at you, scanning you for any kind of clues your body language could give away. He didn’t quite want to ask you to elaborate, too afraid of what the answer might be.

You could be here to kill someone.

Jason had to physically shake that thought out of his head. He knew Talia, he knew how she operated. And he knew that if there was dirty business in Gotham that needed to be carried out, she’d send the best. She’d send you.

“Explain. Now.” He firmly said through his gritted teeth and clenched jaw.

“I’m here for the heir. The boy. She’s asked me to see if his father is finally suitable to handle him.” You hummed, pulling an envelope out of the pocket of your silk robes. Your fingers carefully opened up the envelope, sliding out a picture of Damian. “The boy.” You clarified. “You remember him, do you not? He has grown much since you’ve been away.”

Jason scoffed again, “No, you’re telling me she’s trying to pawn off demon spawn on Bruce?”

“Do not refer to the heir as such. That’s crude Jason.” You frowned, sliding the picture back into the envelope. “I’ve already done my assessment on Wayne. When i was watching you…i was just biding time.” You lied, looking up at him.

“Whatever way you wanna put it, you were stalking me sugar.” Jason sighed, popping off his helmet with a satisfying hiss. You held it underneath his arm, a bloody red domino mask hiding his eyes. “So that’s it, you’re here solely on a mission?” Jason stepped forward. “No other reason?” He hummed.

“What other reason could there be?”

“Dunno. Maybe the fact you haven’t seen me in years.

"You didn’t miss me?”

In response you just stared up at him. You weren’t able to find the correct words to properly articulate how you truly felt about his absence. Broken sentences silently formed on your tongue, but nothing came out. You just continued to stare up at him, hoping he’d understand.

“I missed you too, in case you happened to be curious.” A faint smirk flickered across Jason’s face. And then a similar one was mirrored on your own face. It had felt like you two went back in time. To those cold evenings spent holding each other on quiet rooftops in the League’s base. Rare occasions when you two were allowed to experience the excitement of teenage romance.

“Jason?” You softly said. He gave you a nod in silent response, urging you to speak your mind. “What…is life like here? Are you happy?”

For some reason, almost on a base instinct, Jason quickly responded, “I’d be a lot happier with you by my side.” He spoke so surely, so confident and so genuine that it shocked both of you. And then he kept going, “You don’t have to go back. Who’s gonna stop you? The League is all the way across the world. Besides, Talia would probably want you to go off exploring.”

When you didn’t respond he decided to add something that would either make you agree or make you pull that shiny golden dagger out from underneath your robe and slash his head off. It could go either way with you, he thought. “You’ve never been free, sugar. Your whole life. You got the chance now.” He gently added, taking another step forward, crouching and then setting his helmet down onto the ground.

When he stood back up, he was much closer than before. Jason took both of your hands into one of his own. His large calloused hands rubbed your battle-worn ones. With the quiet contact, came the courage to tell him how you felt.

“Would i get to be with you? If i stayed here?” You asked under your breath, as if you were too afraid to hear the answer

“I’d never leave your side. Not again.”

“Then i want to be free. Free with you..”

“Sounds perfect.” Jason let out a soft, boyish laugh. One that reminded you of the rare moments he’d laugh a long time ago. A laugh that made you smile like a giddy child with their first crush. Jason embraced you, his big bulky arms wrapping around you.

“So, wanna head back to mine and make up for lost time?”

“Do you mean explore?”

“Definitely explore.”

lace dividers by @cursed-carmine

animated dividers by @/toastray

header art by @_neptuness_07 on twt

[laniemae]

An analysis on Ojima’s backstory and [Brusie]

Since the topic of Ojima’s trauma has been explored in the story more recently, I feel that this is a good time to do a proper analysis on it. Ojima’s trauma is a very heavy and taboo subject to talk about, so I figured that this’d need to be done, as you have to take it into consideration when trying to understand his character. Keep in mind I am not a victim of or know anyone who has been subject to abuse, especially not of this nature, so I can’t properly understand what Ojima has went through. I’m trying to be respectful and keep an open mind while doing this analysis.

[TW for discussion of: CSA, Rape, Incest, Physical/emotional/sexual abuse, gaslighting, derealisation]

I’m not exactly sure where to start with this, but I feel like we should take into consideration Ojima’s family situation. As we all know from now Ojima grew up in an incredibly abusive household. The majority consensus before [Bruise] was that Ojima’s father (Ojima Shigeo) was the one who was sexually abusing him. Even though we know that isn’t what happened that doesn’t make him any less of a horrible person, as in [Purple] when talking about the Ojima family Hiroaki mentioned that one of the charges Shigeo was arrested for was beating his kids along white collar charges relating to the company. We don’t know too much about Ojima’s mother, but since it’s been said that she was arrested as well despite not being part of the company it’s very likely she was abusive. Recently we learnt that Ojima’s uncle was the one who was raping him, from when he was three years old to fifteen years old, which is also around the time his parents were arrested.

It’s absolutely disgusting that Ojima was only three years old when this started, he was a toddler. Three years old is when long term memories start to form so it’s very likely that being sexually assaulted would’ve been Ojima’s first memory. He could barely even talk at this age and with how he put it he couldn’t even tell anyone for years, let alone have the slightest comprehension of what was happening to him. And when he did become able to tell his brother what was happening, he told his dad and as we know he got extremely angry and started accusing Ojima of lying, and even gaslighting him into believing that it never occurred while the abuse was very much still ongoing and was still putting Ojima with his uncle. Deliberately being ignorant of all the psychological and physical damage that he would’ve shown. So for almost his entire life Ojima was either stuck between being emotionally and physically abused by his father or being raped by his uncle.

Abuse like this, especially coming from a family member who you were supposed to trust is incredibly traumatic, and how Ojima remarks trusting his uncle when he was talking about his experiences. As even though the adults in his family have done horrible things to him, I could imagine it being a point of conflict for Ojima internally still craving his parent’s and his uncle’s love, as that’s what family members should do. And how horrific it was of them to take advantage of a child like this. It comes to me as interesting that Ojima said that he first told his brother about what was happening to him, rather than directly telling his parents. But even with how his brothers legitimately care for him it would’ve been hard for them to help Ojima specifically, as they were all under an incredibly abusive household.

Ojima’s maladaptive daydreaming as a trauma response is something to consider a lot. Maladaptive daydreaming doesn’t always occur as a trauma response and can just happen but in this case it is. It was a type of environment where he went through so much abuse that his mind had to split off into another world where he could feel safe and have control just to survive. Maladaptive daydreaming can start at a very young age (as young as 5 from what I’ve read) so Ojima has probably been living this way for a very long time. As with lots of trauma responses this which would’ve kept him safe throughout his childhood is now heavily hindering Ojima with his life after escaping the abuse. Ojima has talked about how much his daydreaming affects his life with missing out on deadlines and lots of his life in the real world from it. And even in the secret logs we see how he can go for days only daydreaming and how his grades are slipping, likely due to it as well. One thing that is particularly sad is that it definitely seems that Ojima’s daydreaming and his inattentiveness towards reality can be physically dangerous with him. As in [Two Truths and a Lie] we learn that he has broken a ton of bones, which likely comes from his dissociation causing accidents.

There’s also one thing I have been thinking a lot about with Ojima’s trauma response of daydreaming and ignoring all his problems. That perhaps one of the reasons why he developed derealisation and another world he can go to without thinking about his suffering specifically was influenced by how his father was gaslighting him into believing it wasn’t happening. And trying to repress the trauma that he went through and bury it down while being told he was lying when it was constantly happening could’ve lead to this. So if he could just not think about it, it’d feel easier for him. As I can’t believe how damaging psychologically for Ojima, who would’ve been really young and susceptible, to be told by his father that he was lying about the abuse his uncle was inflicting on him while constantly being subject to it. That he was made to blame himself for what was happening to him and believing he’s crazy, and since the abuse was happening throughout his entire life eventually it would’ve been normalised. I keep thinking back to [Lettuce] and [Breathe In] where in the auditorium Chiba accidentally triggered Ojima’s derealisation when she suggested that everything may just be a dream which lead him to have an anxiety attack. Ojima’s reaction here makes sense as it’s common for people with dissociative disorders or stuff of the liking to be triggered by the prospect of unreality, but I can’t help thinking that part of this could’ve gone back to how Ojima’s father was telling him that the abuse wasn’t happening, probably even telling him it was a dream as well. That what Chiba said could’ve set him off in both ways relating to his fear of unreality and his trauma relating to what he was told.

Ojima’s whole relationship to the idea of opening up to people definitely seems to have also been heavily influenced by the gaslighting as well. As he’s so against telling people about his problems as he’s been taught throughout his childhood that trying to talk to someone would only get you hurt more, and this must’ve internalised into him being so shut off I can imagine. There’s also what would’ve made things worse when how his parents were arrested and he was finally able to escape from the abuse. Due to coming from a rich and influential family his situation was highly publicised across the media and we’ve been shown how he’s been constantly pestered for interviews because of that. That not even being able to try and properly heal and with people trying to get an insight into his life would’ve made Ojima’s mentality on this even worse, and how he struggles so much to get help. With how he’s dropped out of therapy eight times from how he’s worried about telling all his feelings to a stranger, and as well his hatred of being pitied for his trauma and treated like a little kid. I’m also thinking back to a scene in [Tech Support] where when Ojima was trying to help Wada fix his computer he noticed how he was hurting. Wada panicked and said that he can’t talk about it when Ojima asked if it was Okazaki who hurt him. And how Wada should tell someone if she was hurting him. And interestingly enough when Wada said “I’m not supposed to tell” we saw Ojima flinch for a second then told him that he can always tell. And with the further context we have on Ojima the way he reacted here makes sense with what he know about his past and telling people. I find it interesting how even though Ojima is adverse to talking to people and opening up about his own struggles, he acknowledges that it is the best thing to do as with how he said Wada should tell someone if he’s being hurt.

Even how with Ojima is always very close to Hiroaki and even from their relationship we’ve seen, Ojima has a hard time opening up to him, often panicking and shutting him down whenever he gets close to bringing up his trauma. [Young Forever] was the closest we’ve seen to Ojima opening up to Hiroaki, but we still see how affected and scared he is of doing so. How they were talking about how Ojima must’ve felt when his parents got arrested and how he’s worried about everything suddenly changing in his life and how things happen too quickly, and how he never got to be a kid. That he’s missing his entire childhood which was stolen away from him and how he can never get back. That Ojima is stuck as a seventeen year old who never got to live as a child, whose innocence was stripped away from him so young and was forced to grow up too quickly. But simultaneously from his lost childhood you can still see that at heart he’s just a kid. How even as a teenager he takes comfort in illustrating and reading books meant for very young children and his daydream world is implied to be childish as well. That Ojima is stuck in the limbo between these two conflicting sides both having never been a child yet yearning for a sense of kindness and innocence still in his teenage years. That he’d just rather stay forever young in the safe space he has made for himself in his mind where he had nowhere to go in his childhood. And how the parallels of him painting a beautiful sky on the balcony shutter that is keeping him locked inside the school to how metaphorically he painted on the walls of the cage which was his home life into the view of a free, happy world. Such as he draws on the walls of his own room at his home.

In the same episode, Hiroaki suggests that Ojima really should talk to someone professional about his trauma and Ojima remarks how feels as he’s not ready to do so, that he just can’t and doesn’t want to think about it. That even opening up to a therapist or whoever is so scary to him from having to face his trauma head on instead of repressing it like what he’s been doing his whole life. But the only way you can properly heal from trauma is to face it and acknowledge it and to learn from there. It comes to me as it being incredibly impactful that Hayashi was the first person Ojima properly opened up to regarding his trauma surrounding sexual abuse as in that episode we also learn that Hayashi is a survivor of it as well. Everyone already knew about Ojima’s trauma from all the way back in [Confession Game] where his secret was leaked to everyone else. Hayashi had suggested telling Ojima her story in which I could see as even though they’re not close and have rarely talked to each other, that it comes from the understanding that they have been through the same thing. In which turn lead Ojima to properly open up to someone about his trauma.

Ojima envies Hayashi for feeling that she’s become so strong. That when Ojima figured out that Hayashi had killed the man who raped and abused her he started calling her incredible and looking up to her, and stuttering for a second that he could never [do something like that himself]. That Ojima jumped to viewing Hayashi as everything he isn’t, someone who was strong and able to fight back against who hurt them, to not let themselves submit to and be broken by someone who hurt them so badly and had a home to go to. He starts feeling bad about himself for how he can’t understand how she can just decide to be strong. That he feels so small and can’t let his trauma not overtake every aspect of his life. Ojima says he’s not strong, but in my opinion I really don’t think so. Despite how he views himself Ojima has an incredible sense of willpower. The fact that he’s been able to sign up for therapy on eight seperate occasions and keep going with the knowledge that he needs help and is actively seeking it out despite how closed off he his, just shows how strong he is despite how psychologically shattered he may be. That there’s still hope for him to keep reaching for.

Hayashi isn’t necessarily stronger than Ojima for how she’s learnt to heal as what Ojima thinks. Hayashi as a person has had a loving family who was able to support her and help her heal through her trauma and wouldn’t let it take over her entire life. And how she’s opening up to Ojima about her experiences, and how she sees that Ojima is still very much new to a life without abuse and is broken and suffering after everything. Hayashi hasn’t completely healed from her trauma, it’s impossible to properly recover from that. But she’s had a supportive system who has allowed her to come to a point in her life where she can feel strong again. And how she tells Ojima that despite how he had nowhere to go in his life, if at this point in time he’s living with his brothers who are very supportive to him that he should open up and let them help him. I think Hayashi said it best herself in this part.

“Y-you’re… so much stronger than me…”

“I’m not. I’ve just had more practice. You’re still you, Ojima. Even after all the shit you’ve gone through. You’re always gonna be you.”

This episode helps as a massive step in Ojima’s direction to help and begin to heal from the trauma he’s been through. For 12 whole years of his life he’s only known rape, physical abuse and gaslighting, but he’s not a lost cause. He remarks how he feels as if he can never be okay after that, that he can never feel strong and how he can never feel like he doesn’t belong in his own body anymore, describing as feeling infected. It’s hard to imagine how mentally and physically scarred he is from everything that happened to him. Ojima is 17 now, so he only had 2 years of his life that he could remember not being abused. I feel like that’s something not talked about enough, how scary it must’ve been when his whole life was flipped when his parents were arrested and he was taken into custody of his older brothers. Living a life where you only knew being abused, it eventually starts to become normal. That Ojima would’ve been so used to the abuse that the moment he was in a pain free environment it would’ve felt incredibly unknown and scary. It’s not that abuse victims would’ve preferred the abuse, it’s that they’d start to miss it because it was at least something familiar. That if they aren’t used to feeling comfort and love, it can feel alien to them. Ojima is still very young, and even though he can seem so put together and mature at times, it can really show how much he’s still adapting at times. That he’s afraid of getting older but mourns never being able to live the innocent life of a kid. And how he expresses himself through drawing illustrations for children’s books, manifesting art of kind and safe worlds which he years for.

Ojima is such an incredibly interesting character and he is so tragic yet so human at the same time. It was hard to write this type of analysis going over Ojima’s traumatic childhood and how it has affected him from what we know at this point, but it has to be done. I’d really love to see other peoples thoughts on this subject as well, that even if it’s upsetting to think about it, if you want to analyse Ojima’s character like this that you can. Ojima is a character very close to my heart so properly going over his life does make me sad, but I feel as we should appreciate how Tetro has written his character so well and realistically. I hope if you’re reading this you have a good day, as stuff like this can be tough at times.

[maximumkillshot]

"I Can't Lose You" Part 3

Warnings: This one is bad... Like bad bad. Uhm so please pay attention to these warnings. *Brings out a scroll with a solemn face.* Descriptions of Blood, Emergency medical procedure explainations, Shock, Grief, Chan gets shoved once, (IF YOU WANT NO SPOILERS AND KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE THE FIC CONTINUE) Child Loss, Descriptions of miscarriage.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters: OC Doctor, Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: I know the cut is very high up but I needed to be sure that it wouldn't trigger someone would get triggered by the story. I am so sorry I am doing this to y'all. But here we are. Enjoy getting your heart ripped out? I guess. IF YOU WANT MORE TELL ME!

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Previously:

You looked at Bin and Han and begged them to stay. Both of them looked at the doctor and said that whatever was happening, they weren't leaving. The doctor could see that you really needed them and as long as they were not in the way, it didn’t matter whether they were here or not. 

After the nerve block and the procedure, the doctor cleaned you up and draped a warm blanket over you, while the nurses hooked up a transfusion and closely monitored you. The doctor asked for Bin in the hall while Han went right back to your hand without the IV in it, so he could hold it properly.

Bin tried to ignore it during the procedure but the look that the doctor had on his face when he was doing the preliminary exam was haunting. Whatever he was called out here for… it wasn’t good.

NOW:

Once both Bin and the Doctor were in the hall and closed the sliding door separating you from the bustling main hallway, Bin got that feeling again. That sick feeling that something was wrong. The doctor looked like he was trying to stay professional. 

It was then that Bin noticed the doctor's wedding ring. He wondered to himself if the doctor was like Bin. So deep in love that seeing anyone else doesn’t just feel blasphemous, but it’s so out of the question it’s nauseating. The doctor began.

“Are you her husband?” He asked.

“No…” Bin replied. He could feel the bile rising in his throat with that one question. He immediately thought, If I was this never would’ve happened.

“Are you family?” The doctor looked at him.

“Yes. Are they okay?” Bin looked at the doctor.

“She lost a lot of blood, through something called a hemorrhage. It’s a rare complication especially this early on. She wouldn’t have made it if this happened at home. But it’s under control now.” the doctor said. He seemed to be trying to be as sympathetic as possible, making the next question sting more.

“Okay, and the baby?” Bin asked as he was trying to hold on to the possibility, some shred of hope that you and the baby were okay. He didn’t want the answer to be…

“I’m sorry.” The doctor slowly shook his head as he bowed his head slightly. The doctor looked guilty, like this was the worst part of his job, not being able to save someone. 

“How? Why?” Bin asked as it felt like his heart twisted. He didn’t know how you were going to get through this. He knew you too well. He knew that the pain you were about to feel, the emotional pain, would spell your demise... Bin couldn’t wouldn’t let that happen. 

“There is a cause-and-effect relationship that stress, extreme traumatic stress, like what you described, can cause a mis--” “Please don’t finish that word.” Bin pleaded with tears in his eyes. That word. He’s never hated a word in his life, until now. A word like that, even the word Death is kinder. To die you need to have lived in the first place, breathe air, feel emotions, like happiness, fear, love… None of those things happened for your child, through no fault of their mother. The same woman he’s staring at, the very same woman he always stared at. 

“The fact that she went through the shock as well as the prolonged stress after that shock, and didn’t have any previous symptoms of that happening prior to that, rules out all of the other options.” he paused and looked at his ring. Bin could tell what he was thinking, the doctor’s jaw tight, I could never dream of doing that, then continued, “You know her better than I do. Will she need something to calm her down?”

“Yes… but I don’t think she’ll accept it.” Bin looked back at you and Han. You looked so out of it. Like you were and were not there simultaneously. He has never seen you like this. From what he could see it looked like Han was doing his best to distract you. He was playing with your fingers as he joked. 

It was convincing enough to relax you, but Bin knew better. His eyes are always so expressive, if he's genuinely relaxed, his eyes show it. Bin could tell that Han was many things at this point in time, and worry free was not one of them. 

“Would you like to tell her?” the doctor asked. That question made Bin think a little bit. If he did tell you, he didn't know if you'd believe him. It's easier to ignore reality when the person breaking the news isn't a doctor. You'd accept it if it came from the doctor. 

“She’ll believe it if you say it… Just have the medicine on standby. Also, what do we do to help her? What’s next?” He asked.

“Well like I said her bleeding was extensive... I want to keep her for at least a full 24 hours, in case the bleeding starts again. I’ll also arrange for her to meet with the OBGYN during that time as well, to make sure we got all of the tissue out, that way there’s no chance of another hemorrhage or infection. Sounds like a plan?” The doctor asked.

“Yes… thank you." Bin took a deep breath before he went in, the doctor trailing behind him. 

The doctor closed the sliding door as Bin looked at you, then at Han briefly. He lowered the guardrail and made eye contact with Han, who mirrored his actions shortly after. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N” the doctor began but you cut him off. 

“My baby. Please tell me my baby’s okay… please,” the urgency written on your face. 

Han's eyes were set on Changbin. The minute you asked that question, Bin lowered his head, jaw tight, and tears were already beginning to form. When Bin looked at Han, he already knew. 

The doctor looked at you and said “I...I’m so sorry.” 

Your face showed nothing but confusion… you had just gotten the first ultrasound. You had it done a week ago. No, you saw your baby.

“Y/N” Bin asked gently. He saw the look on your face, and it killed him. Seeing your brain reach for any other outcome other than the one right in your face. He tucked some stray strands of hair behind your ear as he watched and waited for the understanding to reach your face, it didn’t.

“No, it can’t be, I just got the ultrasound done. No,” you replied.

Han and Bin looked at each other. Han's eyebrows dipped, as he processed and tried to brace for impact. Bin on the other hand, was willing himself to take a step back, knowing that you needed to hear this. It had to get through, that's the only way you could start healing. 

The doctor looked solemn as he said, “Mrs. Y/L/N I could tell that you were and still are contracting. The reason why your body is doing it, from what I can discern, is because your body went through extreme stress and emotional trauma, when that happens this early, your body rejects the pregnancy. That does not mean that this is your fault, it's the opposite. It’s completely out of your control.”

Bin could see the cogs turning in your brain as you slowly started shaking your head. Reality starting to seep in. Bin wished that you didn't have to go through this. That you got the fairytale ending without the heartbreak. That you didn't have to face the death of your own child. That pain, anguish, and suffering. 

The doctor continued, “There is an even rarer condition in which the body rejecting the pregnancy ends in a condition called a hemorrhage. It’s a technical term for excessive bleeding, in this case, it happened because your body is trying to expel the tissues in your cervix. Because it was so sudden, your cervix didn’t have time to open. When I examined you, you weren’t even at half a centimeter dilation, and all of that tissue was trying to be expelled. That was why I had to do that procedure, to get the tissue out so bleeding could be minimized. I’m so sorry… but you had a miscarriage.”

Once that word was said the scream that you let out was something that Han nor Bin have ever heard in their lives. It was soul-crushing. Both of them could hear your heart breaking, shattered on the ground. Bin and Han wanted nothing more than to pick up those pieces and fix it. They knew that they couldn't, this is a hurt they can't fix.

Han held you as you screamed, begged, pleaded… You looked at Bin. “Bin please, look at me. Please tell me it's not true… Please you don’t lie to me, I know you'll tell the truth pleeease.”

Bin looked at you, “I can’t tell you it’s not true. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” The look of devastation on his face only sealed the fact. Bin has never lied to you so why would he start now? Especially with something as serious as whether or not you had a miscarriage. 

The look that painted his face, brows upturned as his eye contact was nothing short of empathetic. You could tell he wanted to lie. 

He wanted it to be false, that it was just some freak minor bleeding… that the baby was okay…he wanted it so badly… but you can't want something into existence. 

That realization hit you in a split second as the monitors that were connected to you, measuring vitals, started going off. You could feel nothing but pain. The involuntary gnawing, pulling pain. The blood, the cold from lack of blood in your body…The physical agony was nothing compared to what you felt in that split second. 

Your heart rate was literally too fast for you to register, pain surging through you as comprehension slammed into you like a tsunami. The baby is gone. Your baby. Your heart rate was through the roof and the doctor went to your IV.

“Y/N I’m going to give you something to calm you down okay? Your heart can’t take this stress, it’ll give out.” The doctor pushed the medication. 

“I want my baby…Bin I want my baby… Han please, my baby.” You sobbed as you held on to Han. 

All Bin could do was say, “I know you do, I’m so sorry. I’m here. I’m sorry.”

Han got on the gurney with you and cradled you. He cried with you. Prayed that it was just a nightmare. Han looked to Bin, only to find him trying to fight the tears that were falling down his face. Bin's soul was hurting for you, bargaining with whatever powers out there, to give himself up for you and your child. He knew it was irrational but if he could've, he would've. 

As soon as the medicine kicked in your breathing started to slow. You still whimpered and cringed as you felt your body bearing down, still shaking slightly and cold to the touch. Han draped his jacket over you, resting you against his chest, singing to you, to calm you. 

Every once in a while reality would crash into you again, you’d reach for Bin. You knew why you did, he was always there. He always understood you on a deeper level. Sometimes he knew what you needed when you didn’t even know you needed it. 

Eventually he pulled up a chair and laid his head on his forearm, hand in yours and close to his lips. as he gently rubbed circles into your hand with his thumb. As soon as you’d squeeze that hand he’d squeeze back as he nuzzled into your hand. His way of letting you know that yes, this is the reality, but he is still here. Wordlessly, endlessly, he’d be here. Sometimes you’d comb your fingers through his hair, the feeling somewhat comforting.  

You were so tired it went down to your bones. Sometimes only mustering a long blink at the pain. Eventually your vitals started looking good enough to transport.

The doctor came in with solemn reverence, like he was intruding on a funeral.“Y/N, we’re going to keep you overnight at the least, you’re going to have a visit from the OBGYN in the morning, okay? We have your bed ready so soon someone’s going to come to transport you.”

You just looked up at the doctor and nodded, “T-thank you” you hiccupped, “Hannie and Binnie are staying with me.”

“I’ve already put a cot in the room for them. I wish I could’ve done more,” he said with a sad smile. Bin got up and shook his hand, thanking him.

As soon as the transport nurses came to get you Bin said “I’ll see you in a bit. I just need to do something really quick.” you nodded and Bin kissed your forehead. He had to go back to the house. He didn’t know why immediately, just that he had to. 

He was on autopilot the entire ride to the house, except for the red lights.  He didn’t need to be strong at those lights. He’d scream where no one could hear him. Letting the pain out as images of you flashed. Smiling, then flashing to the scream you let out. Laughing, then sobbing in that hospital gurney. Cooking with him, to crying on Han. 

His screams were from mourning, pain, and frustration. He mourned the baby and you. The pain for you, the pain of realizing all of the things that you won’t experience. The frustration of not being able to see it before. To protect you, guard you. He wanted to rip something… someone… apart. There. That was the impulse that drove him back to the house.

At the last red light, he breathed deep, not even wanting to. He used whatever force that was left over as he screamed one last time. Everything he did, your child would never experience. Every scream echoed, redoubling the anguish he had for the both of you. Culminating into this, silence as he turned the corner to the house.

To his surprise, all of the other member’s cars were still at the house when he pulled up. When he parked, he looked at the clock on his dashboard, it was 2 a.m. Had it been 6 hours already? 

He felt his adrenaline kick up as he opened the door. He found everyone still wide awake, waiting for answers, but one look at Bin and they gathered what they needed.

Chan walked into the room from the kitchen and his jaw dropped upon seeing him.

“Bin…what happened?” Felix asked gently, hand’s slightly raised, as if approaching a wild animal. The aura on Bin wasn’t his aloof, goofy, self, it was the opposite; dark, threatening, dangerous. Bin’s eyes were trained on Chan, the closer he got, the more Bin felt his resolve slipping… Chan looked at him up and down, concern and horror written on his face. It was only then that Bin noticed he was covered in your blood.

His resolved snapped at that realization, upper lip ticking into a repressed snarl as he breathed “I’m… going to kill you.” He made a B-line to Chan. Felix, Minho, and Jeongin had to hold him back. 

Once Bin realized he couldn’t get to Chan, he screamed, “Was it worth it?! HUH?!!” His veins were popping out under his skin as he struggled to get free, “Was it?! Tell me! You hurt and nearly killed the only person I’ve ever loved. She’s dead inside now, all thanks to you!” More flashes accompanied that sentence, him picking you up and watching you go limp, eyes fluttering.

Felix looked at Bin and said, “What?... Hyung..” Felix's voice trailed off, trying to process what he heard. Felix knew that if he heard Bin correctly…he couldn’t even complete that thought.

Bin’s eyes snapped to Felix and he relaxed to the point where all three let go.

“The doctor said that because of the severe stress and emotional trauma she endured her body rejected the pregnancy.” He bum-rushed Chan and slammed him against the wall, while everyone was either in shock or processing. Felix was the first and only one to try to get Bin off Chan. Changbin was just too strong for the younger man, he ignored Felix as he tried wordlessly to pry Bin away from Chan. 

Bin continued staring into Chan's eyes, “The miscarriage was so sudden, in fact, that she hemorrhaged and almost bled to death because her cervix couldn’t open on its own in time. They had to scrape the tissue out just to stop it from killing her! And she looked at me to see if it was really true because I don’t LIE to her. Then they had to sedate her because her heart was going to give out when she realized that it was true.”

At this point Bin tightened his grip on Chan, “You are lucky that she asked for me to stay with her… If not I would kill you, right here. You are going to stay AWAY until or even IF she ever wants to see you again. I mean it Chan, if you come near her, I will end you. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise.” With that, he dropped Chan and went to the washroom. He washed off as much blood as he could and went to his room to change into spare clothes. He wanted to destroy everything in his room. His keepsakes, his picture frames of the boys all together. There was only one picture frame that he did smash to dust before he left his room… the one of himself and Chan, on Chan’s wedding day. He picked up his bloody clothes, stalked back out to Chan, and threw the clothing at him. 

He was shaking with rage as he said, “To YOU… this could’ve been a game or a thrill, fucking with her heart. But THAT!” he pointed to the clothing, “that is the reality. A child is dead, your child and it almost killed Y/N too. Next time you want to contact her, look at what you did to both of them while you do it.”

Before Chan could say anything Bin was slamming the door shut behind him with such force that the wall itself vibrated. Right as he made it to his car Felix ran to him. “Can I go with you?” he asked.

“I’m not leaving the hospital for the whole night, you know that, right?” 

Felix nodded and got into the passenger seat. The whole ride over Felix couldn’t help but to stare at Bin. He has never seen him like this. So enraged that he was three seconds away from crushing Chris’ windpipe. 

He also noted how Bin didn’t seem to know that he was covered in blood until Chris looked at him. Even now he could see Bin’s grip on the steering wheel was so strong his knuckles were white. He didn’t know exactly what happened in those four hours they weren’t given updates, and Felix knows just by seeing Bin, he never wants to find out. 

As soon as Bin entered your hospital room he heard you say “Binnie?”

Honestly, he could melt every time you call him that.

“I’m back…” he chuckled slightly… “And I brought some sunshine with me…”

The minute he looked into your eyes, you smiled just a little. That was progress. He kissed your forehead as Felix looked you over. 

Felix is like your little brother, so the minute you saw him and he saw you, you both started crying. Han got off the bed knowing Lix would want to be with you for a bit, for both of your sakes. 

This gave Han and Bin time to talk out in the hall.

“How’re her contractions?” Bin asked.

“They’re slower but still strong. The doctor says that it’ll be strong for at least 5 to 10 hours.” Han reported.

“And you? How’re you doing?” Bin asked. He knows Han has anxiety, seeing all of this and being as strong as he’s been is not easy. 

“I’m… Out of all people, Bin.” Han shook his head. Han has known Chan the longest and he would’ve never expected him to do this. 

“I know”

“Please tell me you didn’t hit him.” Han said.

“Nah… She needs me more than I need to beat him to a pulp… I don’t think he’ll be bothering her anymore though.” That’s at least what Bin hopes. Everything is so raw. A little over 8 hours before this you were at a restaurant to celebrate your 3rd anniversary. Now everything was all wrong, a nightmare incarnate and no one can wake up from reality. 

“Hyung… She can’t go back to that house.” Han said as he took a deep breath.

“I know. All I know is that we'll do what she’s comfortable with.”

“Agreed…Bin?” Han asked.

“Yeah?”

“It should’ve been you with her. From the beginning.” Han looked to Bin, a look of understanding and empathy for Bin. Han could always see the way Bin looked at you when no one else was looking. Everything you said would be committed to his memory, even the smallest things like which brand of sesame oil you like best for your bulgogi marinade. 

“I know. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be here for her from now on.”

Han just smiled and both of them went back into the room. 

********************************************************************

Want to suggest something?

WANT MORE? TELL ME SO!

Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done.

@Fuckthinking, @feybin , @1-800-shedevil , @channiesbakery, @channieswhore , @hwangswhore , @seungminhour , @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat, @seventeenytiny , @dreaming-medium , @thunderous-wolf , @hanjsquokka , @moonjxsung, @diddybok, @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs , @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex , @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox

[toldbytendo]

𝑀𝑒𝑛 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝐵𝑜𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼’𝑚 𝑇𝑖𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑇𝘩𝑒𝑦’𝑟𝑒 𝑁𝑜𝑡 🙃

I saw a tiktok the other day of a woman saying she had to sacrifice her self-expression just to date men, and I have never resonated with a notion so deeply in my entire life. Because—and I say this knowing that if I ever dared utter these words outside my little Tumblr safe haven, I’d be CANCELLED—men are genuinely so boring. Like, I don’t know how else to explain it. I find them so incredibly uninteresting, so lacking in depth, and honestly? Just extremely negative.

And I’d like to use my most recent case study in: What I Do Not Want in a Man (cue entry: 𝑀𝑟 𝐶𝑜𝑑 𝑀𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑒).

Before I get into it, let’s establish something. I am a lover girl. Romance occupies my life in so many ways—not in a “I centre men” kind of way, because let’s be real, I absolutely do not—but just in that I love love. I love romance in every form. Romantic K-dramas? Obsessed. Disney movies with a love story? Sign me up. Romance novels, Bridgerton, Jane Austen adaptations (Persuasion had me in a chokehold), Queen Charlotte—if it has love in it, I want it. And not just romantic love, but all love. Platonic love, familial love, the love between friends, the love of a home-cooked meal, the love of a hobby that lights your soul on fire. Love is beautiful, and I have no shame in saying I want to experience it in all its forms.

**lover girls, let us gather here and cry**

Now, 𝑀𝑟 𝐶𝑜𝑑 𝑀𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑒—the latest guest star on On This Month's Episode of 𝑀𝑒𝑛 𝐴𝑟𝑒 𝑀𝑎𝑑—for whatever reason, he really disliked this about me. I’m convinced. There was one conversation I remember so vividly where this man looked me in the eye (well, as much as you can over a screen) and said, “You know love isn’t real, right?”

Yeah.

Let’s pause here for a second. Imagine.

A man. In this economy. Telling me love isn’t real. I know, right?

Insane.

But wait—he doubled down. He followed it up with, “You never really know if people truly love you.” And then, he gave me a very personal and honestly traumatic story to support his stance.

Now, let’s be clear. I am not here to minimise what he confided in me. It was deep. It was sad. I can acknowledge that. But I also need to make my point here. Because let’s be real: the gaslighting and manipulation were top tier. Because how does one even argue against such a personal, tragic experience? You can’t. That’s the point. He laid it out like checkmate, like his trauma was supposed to be the universal law on love.

But it wasn’t that his opinion offended me. It was that he refused to accept my love of love. He was actively trying to break it down, like he wanted me to concede so badly that love isn’t real, or true, or possible. Like… why? Why was it so important for me to not believe in something that brings me joy? Why was it bothering him that I believe in love?

And the thing is, it’s not just 𝑀𝑟 𝐶𝑜𝑑 𝑀𝑜𝑏𝑖𝑙𝑒. This is something I’ve observed in so many men. It’s the negativity, the cynicism, the absolute lack of joy or wonder in anything. It’s like they aren’t just boring—they fundamentally lack the ability to love things properly. Not just people, but life itself. It’s like nothing they do is done with real spark, or passion, or excitement.

And honestly? I think this is why men are so bad at actually learning women. I’m convinced. Because one thing I know about women—observations, personal experience, group chat data, everything—is that when a woman truly likes someone, she wants to know everything. She wants to know your ticks, your passions, what makes you angry, what makes you soft, what drives you, what you want out of life. It’s like 101 Dalmatians but with questions, and the thing is, that curiosity is what fuels the relationship. That attention to detail is what makes love exciting.

Meanwhile, men? They think “knowing you” means memorising your Starbucks order and remembering you have a dog. Ask them what you do for work, what your dream is, what brings you joy? Crickets. Because how can boring people fathom the sheer joy women experience in the little things? How can they possibly understand the absolute euphoria of buying yourself flowers, of rereading your favourite book, of knowing your skincare is working because your face is glowing? The sheer pleasure of being in bed by 9pm, freshly showered, your room smelling like vanilla and sandalwood, ice water in your Stanley mug, your favourite pyjamas on, your show queued up, or your current read open and ready?

Men don’t get that. Because men don’t let themselves enjoy things like that. And I’m not saying they don’t have hobbies or interests, but let’s be real—women are expected to tone it down a little bit. Our joy, our passions, our excitement about life? We have to shrink it so men don’t feel like they have to do anything.

And I think that’s what’s exhausting. That’s the part that feels so unrewarding. Because it’s not even a trade-off. It’s not like, “Okay, I’ll sacrifice this, so in return, I’ll get that.” There’s no 50/50, no 70/30. It’s just women needing to dim themselves, their light, their spark, their joy, just to let men exist.

Like, let me give you another example. A man, a big 25-year-old grown man, asked me out on a date. He lives in a different city, right? And he said he wanted to drive to see me and “take me out.”

Do you know what this man’s idea of a date was?

A drive-through.

I’ll pause.

I’ll let you scream.

I’ll let you kick your feet and wonder if I’m ugly

(I promise I’m not).

But this is what I mean. The implied energy was, “I’m already driving all this way to see you, and since we aren’t close enough for me to actually treat you, let’s just keep it casual.” Because, spoiling, effort, love—that’s all reserved for later. You have to earn it first. And the worst part? Women are told to let men lead.

Girl…men will lead you straight to hell. Don’t do it.

I don’t care what society says about “femininity” or “softness.” I’m not dimming myself so a man can feel comfortable existing at his baseline. If he can’t match my energy—if he can’t love things, enjoy things, cherish things—he can go.

Because men will always start at the bare minimum and upgrade you later, like love is a subscription service where you have to unlock premium benefits. Meanwhile, women are expected to be soft and kind and understanding from the start.

This is what I mean when I say men are boring. And this is why I refuse to make myself smaller just to make them feel bigger.

[reesiereads]

The fact the children are the ones who are punished in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has never made sense to me. Like isn’t the whole point that the parents are the ones at fault for the children’s behavioral issues and struggles? Every fucking song describes how the parents caused the problem.

The Gloops never taught Augustus self-control. The Beauregardes pushed and pushed on Violet to be the best to the point she valued being number one over her own safety. The Salts spoil Veruca to hell and back to the point she doesn’t understand the world doesn’t revolve around her. The Teavees neglect Mike and allowed him to essentially be raised on television and the internet, leading to him growing up too fast and not developing any social skills.

Like, don’t get me wrong, the children aren’t entirely exempt from their own actions, but I was under the impression catcf was supposed to be a cautionary tale? Like “raise your children properly as they will become a result of what you allow.”

I guess you could argue punishing the kids is meant to shock the adults into change since they’re being forced to face the absolute worst sides of their own children, which they created. However this, to me anyway, doesn’t work with all of Wonka’s vindictiveness? If Wonka agrees the children’s behaviors aren’t their fault then why would he punish them? It doesn’t seem fair?

Because traumatizing/killing children for their bad behavior literally does nothing to help them because, as the source material is literally trying to say, their behavior is stimming from their parents poor parenting. So why isn’t it that the parents are punished and forced to change so that the children may then change under better parenting?

Not only that but the things Wonka punishes the children for are sorta arbitrary, particularly in Augustus’ case. You’re telling me Augustus deserves to fucking drown because he happens to eat a lot and is fat? By this logic if you told me Wonka decided to kill off Charlie just because he’s poor and spent that dollar he found on what he wanted instead of his family I wouldn’t even be surprised!

Obviously I’m taking it too seriously, it’s not that deep, but I stand by my stance that the parents should have received the children’s punishments.

[animeyanderelover]

I'm no professional so keep that in mind when reading this.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, clinginess, overprotective behavior, paranoia, delusion, abduction, murder, ptsd, abuse, depression, trauma, torture, isolation

Don't touch me!

Jonathan Joestar

💍 He's just shattered when he finds out about the traumatic events that his s/o had to go through and he will guarantee that their uncle will be sued and properly punished for his actions if he has gotten away with it so far. Since you are Jonathan's darling and he comes from a wealthy family, it's definitely going to be a big deal that someone traumatized his lover and partner and the normally kind soul can't help but turn a tad bit cold when your uncle gets thrown into prison and stripped of all his rights. It's justice for his darling after all. Jonathan wants to help his darling, he has no bad intentions but the problem is that he's just so overbearing, protective and very touchy so he finds it a bit difficult at times, although he refrains from touching you in order to not trigger any flashbacks and risk any strong emotional or physical responses of panic or fear from you. He calls for a professional, he genuinely wants to help his darling in any way he can. With touching as a sign of affection out of the way, he resorts to spoiling them with presents and gifts and gets them about anything they ask for since the poor guy just wants to see you happy. Seeing you sad kills him a bit on the inside.

Lisa Lisa

💌 Her possessive and overprotective side definitely cracks up a few notches when she successfully finds out what has happened to you in your past. She has already lost her husband George so she would be especially attentive to you and she is pretty perceptive so it takes only short to realize your clear fear of men and being touched by them. Either you tell her, although she won't force you if she realizes that it's tough for you, or your family but in either case, Lisa Lisa will find out one way or another, she can't ignore this when it involves you. She's terrifying when she's angry as she's as icy as the coldest winter and she will definitely deal with your uncle and have a word with him to ensure that he will never appear in your life again. Without a doubt she's a bit paranoid for your safety and mental well-being so she brings you with her to her island for safety reasons, as she likes to tell you. It enables her to keep a better eye on you and she can also convince you that besides Loggins and Messina, who are loyal to he, there are no other men there and that Suzie Q will attend to all of your needs. She's noticably softer with you and more careful whenever she approaches the subject of your trauma.

Mariah

🪙She uses her darling's trauma totally to her own advantage as she is delighted to realize that she has an advantage since she is a woman and can successfully convince you to isolate yourself more due to your dislike and fear of being touched by men. Obviously she still stays with you, you can't be all alone without her by your side after all. Regarding that scumbag of your uncle, she just takes matters into her own hands and just gets rid of him because that vile thing touched and hurt her darling. She's a bit of a sadist when it comes to her torturing her victims, she'll definitely torture your uncle in the last moments of his life before she kills him with her Stand. Mariah is very sweet to her darling to lure them successfully to her side, she'll probably convince them into staying with her all the time and not going outside without her. There isn't a big interest in helping you living with your PTSD but only as long as it doesn't affect her own love life with you. The woman is quite touchy herself after all and whilst she is no man and thinks that by that logic you won't mind her touch, she'll be very visibly agitated and upset if you react negatively to her touches as well.

Higashikata Josuke

💎 Josuke is very problematic simply because he turns very moody and aggressive when he realizes what the problem is and why you always react so skittish and frightened when he tries to touch you affectionately. Don't get him wrong, he isn't mad with you. He's furious with your uncle and that that that asshole dared to do such things to you and Crazy Diamond will break and fix that man surely again and again until he's not recognizable anymore, only then will Josuke's anger cool down a tad bit. Josuke just has so much love to give his darling, he's a teenager infatuated and being unable to express his love via touches, one of his main love languages, is just killing him on the inside. He's frustrated and that frustration just builds and builds inside of him and explodes out of him at unpredictable times so his friends and close acquaintances are more careful around him as one small thing can set the boy off. He's still very clingy and follows you around, often without you being aware of it as he just wants to be with you somehow. He tries to be as supportive as he can be though, buys you snacks and drinks and he hopes for your therapist that they can help you.

Bruno Bucciarati

🤐 Bucciarati is going to be very intrusive, even if it's an invasion of your privacy. It would be troublesome if you'd dislike him and hate his touches as much but due to his observations he realizes that this is the norm with all men you encounter in your life which leads him to the conclusion that there is most likely a deeper problem here. If it's concerning your well-being, no matter if physical or mental, Bruno prioritises it over your own privacy. So he either uses his connections as a mobster or he charms you or your family into telling him what has happened to you, he can be very convincing after all and he's very adored by people in general for his helpful and trustworthy personality. He's livid but keeps himself well composed, his pursed lips the only sign of his wrath. Your uncle will be without a shred of doubt be properly punished with his limbs detached from his body, Bruno will see it through that he can never see you again. Very supportive, he will even take over the costs of your treatment, although he also expects you to not skip any meetings. He stays patient otherwise for now, aware that forcing you into anything would only worsen your condition.

Cujoh Jolyne

🪢 Men can be pretty shitty, she speaks from experiences with her own ex-boyfriend and to a certain extent also her own father but the anger and resentment she might still hold against those two doesn't even compare to the unmatched wrath she feels when she discovers what your own uncle did to you. If she wouldn't be in prison, she'd pummel the living crap out of that vile man. If she isn't imprisoned though, not even the best of luck would help your uncle as she beats him down mercilessly with her Stand and her own fists. Jolyne grows significantly more clingy after that and always stays close to you. She's pretty protective but especially if she knows that her darling has had bad experiences with something or someone so she's always on guard around man and if one of them touches you despite your protests, she instantly goes into attack mode. Part of her knows that she shouldn't, but if your PTSD causes you to stick closer to her since she's a woman, she'd really enjoy that a lot. Differently from Mariah though, she understands that you need professional help so that your trauma doesn't interfere with your daily life. But there's no need to rush things, right?

[cocogum]

Nora is being indirectly mistreated by her own family.

(And why my Noramalia obsession is slowly increasing-)

I don’t know why this happened the way it did but episodes 7 and 8 FED ME SOME GOOD NORAMALIA MOMENTS ✨✨

Also, let me just say how episode 7 ended up being the FIRST EVER recorded conversation between Amalia and Nora and it was WONDERFUL 💕💕

My girl is always the one complaining first but for once, it’s Nora who beat her to it 😭😭

I never thought I’d see the day when someone else would say their complaints out loud and it would be AMALIA OF ALL PEOPLE to try to look at the positives of the situation!

No matter how many times I keep analyzing how these two behave around each other throughout these two episodes, my heart keeps fluttering cuz I see NO FLAWS WHATSOEVER IT’S PERFECT ‼️‼️💖💖💖

Just look at how Amalia keeps being the one supporting Nora and snapping her awake from her panic attacks!

You’d usually think the ones who’d help her often with her problems would be Yugo, Qilby, and even Adamaï, her actual BROTHERS, or even her own mother but NO!!! It’s AMALIA!!!

Amalia saw how Nora looked super out of it during the battle and decided to go to her and snap her from her trance AND EVEN HELD HER SHOULDER OMG ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!?

But you’re gonna tell me: “chillax dummy, she only did that cuz it was the right thing to do. Yugo was busy supporting Adamaï and Qilby’s just being a dick.”

Oh yeah?

Well I reject ur premise.

Amalia is such a good girlfriend that she KEEPS BEING BY NORA’S SIDE EVEN AFTER SHE CALMED DOWN.

Ankama could’ve made Joris support her instead since he was free but nope! It HAD to be Amalia 💕💕

Just look at how my girl keeps holding her from behind and making sure she’s alright.

Keep in mind that Amalia has no idea what’s going on with Nora. This is the second legitimate time she sees Nora like this (since Nora also had one of those moments back in the Sadida kingdom) and Amalia does not know if her frozen state usually happens when she sees something that triggers her or if this is just something that Nora gets from time to time.

Whatever Amalia may be thinking about this, it doesn’t change the fact that she’s the only one in the group who realized her peculiar case and did something to help her.

Not only is this character development for Amalia, but it also shows how she caught Nora’s odd behavior much more quickly than the others. And it only took two times for her to see it to do anything about it.

LOOK SHE’S STILL HOLDING NORA ‼️‼️‼️

Are you seeing this shit⁉️⁉️⁉️

How the hell am I the only one addressing Amalia’s care for Nora???

And Nora just lets her!

Even after her little panic attack ended, she still lets Amalia touch her back for support!

This is honestly such a cute detail and I love how the small noramalia moments are treated like this 💖

When you really think about it, the relationship could work, especially for Nora’s part.

Nora’s family is especially messy and chaotic. Her mother is too traumatized by the necromes to do anything about her situation or even ask her how she’s feeling. She didn’t even have an alone talk with Nora to properly talk about how she was feeling. I bet that even when Nora had managed to save the Eliatrope goddess and got to be alone for some time, not even once did the Eliatrope goddess ask her anything cuz Nora was too busy consolidating her mother while internally freaking out for her brother.

Yugo and Qilby are just fighting with each other while Adamaï stays on the sidelines and doesn’t try to get closer to his mother, preferring to put some distance between him and her.

So who’s left to talk about her troubles or to let out her frustrations and misery?

Amalia.

The only person who attempted to help and noticed she had something off.

The only person who, despite not being family or even a divinity, attempted to do anything about her case.

The only person who stayed next to her and placed her hand behind her back even when she stopped freaking out.

Amalia would be a good person Nora could choose to go to for her problems.

It’s clear to see Nora had no room to breathe or place herself first at any moment that we got to see her. Her mother and her brothers are taking too much space and they don’t seem to realize how much she’s got to lose despite the evidence plastered right in front of their faces. Even when Nora explains to them how she managed to find their mother and how Efrim had to sacrifice himself in the process, she gets absolutely no words of consolidation from her brothers or her mother.

Instead, she just gets looks of sympathy from Yugo and Adamaï but it’s clear that they don’t seem to be sad about Nora being stuck in her dofus but rather because she lost her brother. For a primordial eliatrope to understand that their dofus won’t hatch because their sibling got infected means that they’re aware they can predict their time of “death”, ending their continuous cycle and rebirth that was supposed to last for eternity. Since the eliatrope council cannot die and constantly come back to life, this could technically be considered their actual death.

Upon knowing that Nora knows this however, the Eliatrope goddess simply says :

What kind of answer is that?!

Her mother is basically implying that there’s no hope for Nora but at the same time is saying that she loves her??

She does realize that her words feel empty now that she told her she couldn’t let that happen again right?? She’s basically indirectly saying that Nora is a lost cause.

It's clear to see that Nora has much more to lose than her other family members.

She’s the only one who lost her brother for good and will likely not get reborn in her next life with him because she’ll be stuck in her dofus forever. To be able to get reborn over and over again but not be able to anymore because your brother froze the cycle is a fate worse than death. She’s the only one who’s hiding her sadness and pain to give space for her mother because she thinks her problems are way less important than what’s currently going on. She’s the only one having panic attacks and thinks she’s seeing her brother everywhere. She’s the only suspect who is likely the reason why the portal to the necrome world is even there and is very likely the sick eliatrope.

So to have Amalia do this small and kind gesture for Nora made my heart warm up at the fact that she IS worried for her and is still holding her up after she had her little struggle.

Their relationship doesn’t even need to be romantic. Just as long as I get to see Amalia be by Nora’s side for anything, I’d be happy.

Cuz to be real with you, I’m starting to get annoyed that her family doesn’t seem to understand the level of severity of Nora’s case.

If Amalia noticed Nora was having a panic attack, then she could notice her struggles hidden inside her if Nora confided in her. (this also means her family should be able to clearly see it but since they’re not doing anything about it, they shouldn’t be an option for Nora to go to).

And that’s what I would like to see.

A moment like this where Nora can properly rely on someone who isn’t her family.

But for a romantic relationship, I can definitely see it too lol

Amalia’s usually the one speaking her thoughts so shamelessly but Nora might as well take her place and be a boss ass bitch while Amalia’s the more caring side and supports Nora and hears her troubles.

That can be a good dynamic to see. We only saw a glimpse of it when Nora was complaining about the rulers of the world. So it’d be nice to see these two talking to each other again like this.

[happypanda101]

How Sakura’s Love Interest Ruined Her Character Development

Alright. I promise this is the last Sakura related content I’ll do for a while. But after seeing several other people on here talk about about this subject, I thought it would be interesting to discuss. This isn’t gonna be a full on analysis, rather my thoughts as someone who loves Sakura and was disappointed to see how her character was handled in canon.

I think a lot of the fandom can be agree that Sakura’s biggest flaw was her love for Sasuke. Love is typically supposed to be a character’s strength, but unfortunately for our pink cherry blossom, it’s her weakness. And her downfall.

Now, I’ve already made it clear what my feelings on SasuSaku are. I like the pairing, they could have been better developed and aren’t nearly terrible as people claim they are. However, it would be ignorant of me to not acknowledge that canon Sasusaku is… kinda shitty.

Don’t get my wrong, they have their cute moments in blank period, like Sasuke asking Sakura to wear the clan crest, but things start going downhill when they get married and the plot of Burrito rolls around. Sakura is left to be a single mother while Sasuke is off god knows where for that stupid space alien/ “remains of Kaguya” whatever plot. Sasuke never writes to check up on his family, it’s implied that Sarada doesn’t remember him at all or what he looks like, and Sakura is left there trying to assure her poor daughter that Sasuke is doing this because he loves them. But when Sasuke comes back, he rarely acknowledges or wants to spend time with them at all. Not to mention, he seems to care more about Naruto’s kid than his own. Naruto suffers from this problem as well, but that’s a discussion for another time.

For the canon endgame, Kishimoto certainly doesn’t write any of his characters being happy in their relationships.

Anyway, Sakura and her character development. It may not have been grand as her teammates, but it was still there. Sakura went from a naive girl that was obsessed with boys and her looks to someone who acknowledged that she had to work harder if she wanted to help and protect those she cared for. She went from disliking and envying Naruto to someone who was willing to throw her ninja career away so her friend could follow his dream. She wanted to help Naruto to bring Sasuke back, but realized she wasn’t strong enough, so she went to Tsuande for help and become a damn good medical ninja as a result. She became more confident in herself and was always there to support her friends. She never needed an epic fight or a tramatic backstory, I would say her development was pretty great.

But then all of that gets thrown away whenever Sasuke comes into the picture. Sakura may be able to stand up for others, but never does she stand up for herself when it comes to Sasuke. When he belittles her in the War Arc for simply asking him what was going on, she gets all quiet and sad. Defeated. Worst part is that Naruto can’t even stand up for her properly.

The kunoichi who broke off Kaguya’s horn and aided in sealing her, therefore saving the world, is left a begging, whimpering mess for Sasuke to come back to her, to come back to team 7. And what does she get in return? A genjustu of him killing her.

And just when you think oh this has to finally get her to realize that she can do so much better than him, or at least get her to step back and reevaluate her feelings, let her spend time away from him, it’s just forgotten about! Forget traumatizing and hurting her, it’s okay because Sasuke apologized and now she wants to go with him. Don’t get me wrong, I do think that was a genuine apology, but the fact that she was just expected to forgive him at the snap of a finger was infuriating. And down right sad.

It doesn’t help that nobody else comments on it, or tells Sakura “hey, what he did was pretty shitty, you didn’t deserve that.” Or stand up for her at all. Kakashi kinda did, but it was so weak.

In Naruto, a woman’s role is to support the men, because what else are they good for? And if they ever move on from a guy they like, they’re a “terrible person,” in Kishimoto’s words. Whatever improved or developed Sakura’s character, it reverted backwards or was simply forgotten for Sasuke. Because Sakura loves him, she can never disagree or argue or fight with him, because that would make her a bad person.

Sakura had the potential to become one of the greatest heroines in anime, but that was all thrown away becasue of her misogynistic creator and his idiotic editors. She deserved better, every female character in Naruto deserved better, and burrito should have never happened because it’s an abomination to the Naruto franchise.