#are you telling me that he was never properly traumatized by his family

[bookdragon369]

I was today years old when I discovered that Obi-Wan Kenobi's name didn't mean "no one, child of no clan" in canon.

IT'S FANON. IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

According to Google...

(To my defense, I have watched the main 6 movies and nothing else. EVERYTHING else I know about Star Wars is from fanfiction.)

[sleepyskeleton-0]

SPOILERS FOR STH 3!!!

Scene analysis (heavily focused on Knuckles).

So there’s this scene in Sonic 3 in London where Sonic decides that despite their initial intentions to never use the master emerald anymore, he insists on using it for vengeance (after Shadow hurts Tom).

In this scene Sonic and Knuckles stand head to head and get worked up to the point where they’re charging up their powers, (Tails in kinda in the middle trying to calm them both down).

I got emotional in this scene, like full on tears in my eyes for a split second. Let me tell you why:

This is the scene that shows Knuckles’ endless patience for Sonic and Tails.

We know as an audience that Knux is always eager to go into battle, perhaps even too eager, but when it comes to his siblings, he’s always patient. So when Sonic tries to start a fight with him, he gets riled up at first but then takes a moment to calm himself down.

He refrains from hurting his brother and instead tries to talk to him calmly, to reason with him.

And if that’s not an oldest sibling strait I honestly don’t know what is.

I don’t think some people realise how hard it is to stay calm when your younger siblings are angering you. Like not teasing but properly pissing you off, especially if your sibling is a younger teenager (think 11-14 or 15).

At some point, you as the oldest have to realise that you have to be the calm one because naturally, teens are hormonal as shit and they can’t really help it (sometimes). We’ve all been there and we all know what it feels like to get wound up easily as a kid, and as an oldest child, you didn’t have someone who would calmly deal with you. Your parents would just get angry or chalk it up to a phase, so it’s either too much discipline or none at all for their first kid, then leave them to deal with the others when they grow up (obviously this isn’t the case with the trio here bc they were all taken in as teens so it’s different - the attention Tom and Maggie would’ve shown to them as babies and children are being shown now that they’re actually a family).

So shout out to all my oldest siblings out there, including Knuckles, because it’s like constantly taking punches to the face and actively remaining steady on your feet without letting your anger get the best of you.

This especially goes for a traumatic or high anxiety situation, like Tom’s injury. Sonic’s love for him and his worry and regret is consuming him in this moment and throwing him into a blind rage. Tails is also really worried, and as the youngest, it goes without saying that you try to cushion any pain as much as possible, so he’s not gonna be expected to help. Who’s left then? To help deal with Sonic? Knuckles.

He realises Sonic’s having a hard time, knows what it feels like to lose loved ones, understands the worry of “will they return home?” and how the reality of the situation can hit at any moment and how crippling it can be.

So Knuckles swallows his pride and tries to reason with Sonic.

And it’s really fucking hard to do that. Especially when being put in this position.

This rant feels repetitive but I have to get it out there just how hard it is to do this. At the end of the day, even if we are the oldest sibling, even if we have an obligation to be the bigger person, we still have feelings. All this emotional burden is gonna build up. It’s not anyone’s fault, it’s just the position we were born in. It’s our job to be that pillar of strength for our younger siblings, but if you keep throwing small stones at a pillar, eventually it’ll start to chip and crumble. So to have the strength to remain steady is the real superpower.

Like holy shit, talk about dual burden. Knux is also feeling the pain of potentially losing Tom, but he’s still there to comfort and protect his family and also shoulder his own difficult emotions. Because no one was there to do that for him when he needed it the most. He may never have anyone to protect him quite like that, and an older sibling will protect their younger ones even if it means making sacrifices. Remember that parents don’t have the same effect as siblings. Adults can only have so much understanding, but growth moves with the times, and each coming generation develops in unique ways, so grown ups will never grasp the full extent of the younger generation’s struggles, just as us younger people will never understand what they went through and how they dealt with it.

So props to Knuckles, he really is 1000000% muscle, and his most important muscles, his heart and brain, work together incredibly well. He doesn’t have to be book smart, his emotional intelligence makes up for that.

(Disclaimer: this is just my interpretation so just take it with a grain of salt, also sorry for this utterly incoherent rant, I have feelings about this movie- and this silly little echidna.)

[prouddogboi]

Stray dog (Part 2)

To find the most recent chapters, please go to @doggoboigaugau 's masterlist

Sorry it took me quite long lmao TToTT School and work deadlines are killin' me.

Pairings: Ghost x Soap x Male Reader

Summary: Male Reader is traumatized and refuses to open up to 141. Soap found out something horrible going on with him and told Ghost about it.

Word count: 1910

Warnings: Smoking. Mention of attempts to self-h@rm.

The next morning you woke up with a throbbing headache. It was so bad that you felt like hundreds of needles were jabbed into your eye sockets and every time you blinked, those needles plunged into your brain, sending a sharp and chilling pain to the crown of your head. This was by no means a strange occurrence for you though, given the fact that every night the base celebrated a party you always indulged in this self-sabotaging habit. 

Still, no matter how bad the situation was, you still had training to attend to, tasks to get done, reports to compile, and a miserable life to live. You turned your head to look at the clock, silently praying that it wasn’t too late. 

It was 13:00 in the afternoon already. 

“Shit!” You threw an arm over your forehead. Nice, you missed the morning training session. It was your responsibility today to train the new recruits and now you messed up the whole Task Force’s schedule once again just because you could not handle your pathetic emotions properly. The thoughts of giving up flooded your mind yet again since it was no use in waking up anyway, it was too late to do anything useful. The other team members were already aware of how irresponsible you were as you continuously failed to be on time for training the newbies. And what about the newbies’ impression of you? Probably an unreliable man who was no longer fit to be a member of a special Task Force that was particularly famous for its efficiency. Or maybe you were never fit to be one to begin with. 

Why didn’t the others wake you up? You had worked here long enough to know how scary and irritated Ghost could get when people missed his training session. There were even times when he immediately had the unpunctual soldiers pack their things and get sent to another department because he couldn’t fuckin’ stand people disrespecting his schedule. 

“Maybe they forget about my existence. Maybe I wasn’t that big of a part of this Task Force.” You mumbled to yourself, trying to pull your tired body out of the heavy blanket. As much as you wanted to give up, the desire to be important to someone, something, or some organization, …just anything, urged you to wake up and keep trying. You wanted yourself to be seen.

Upon opening the door of your stuffy room, you instinctively covered your eyes as they were attacked by rays of blinding sunlight. Your room was too dark and gloomy, doors and windows tightly shut all day and night, no wonder you would react so unfavorably to the bright sunlight that is often associated with positive moods by most people. 

The base was unusually quiet. You didn’t meet a single soul on your way to the kitchen to fill your hungry stomach. No Soap cracking stupid jokes with his heavy Scottish accent and laughing loudly to them himself, no Gaz cursing at his jokes, no Roach laughing at the two dumb manchildren, no Price sighing and telling them to at least be less raucous. You tried to shrug the nasty nagging feelings off, but it soon became unbearable when you walked into the kitchen and saw all the dirty dishes in the sink. 

“They have finished their lunch.” And they had it without you. The people you considered to be your own family, much closer than the biological family that you had cut all contact with, didn’t wake you up from your drunken sleep, totally forgot your existence, and enjoyed a meal together like there wasn’t anything missing. You knew damn well that you were overexaggerating the seriousness of the situation, but you just couldn’t help it. 

‘What am I to them?’ That question kept spiraling inside your brain, worsening the headache that you were already having. In a brief second, all the nagging feelings were anthropomorphized into a disgusting creature with multiple heads and mouths by your ailed mind, shrilly screaming out your deepest thoughts that were fraught with insecurities. Your legs were rendered weak and you collapsed on the floor. Supporting your weakened body with all four limbs, you took heavy breaths, trying to calm yourself down.

A few minutes later, you managed to put yourself together enough to stand up and get out of the base, on the way you didn’t forget to grab a pack of cigarettes. You felt stupid to resort to nicotine as a way to fight against all those feelings, but you didn’t know a better way. There were times when things were so bad that you had no energy left to hide your conditions from your teammates, and Price was concerned. He used to have you talk to some therapists, and not surprisingly to you at all, they could not handle you for long. No one ever could. 

You were now standing in the parking lot with a cigarette in your mouth. You sighed, clearly satisfied with how strongly its bitter taste stimulated your taste buds. When you first arrived here as the newest member of Task Force 141, Soap and Gaz always joked that you’d become Price’s smoking buddy, but that did not happen. The image of you standing with Price awkwardly because you two couldn’t find a mutual topic for a conversation made you feel too uncomfortable to even try, so you kept avoiding the older man or pretending to not hear his offer until he just stopped inviting you. It was so obvious that the men wanted to get closer to you, they wanted to earn your trust, to make you feel at home and be yourself among them, yet you kept pushing them away. And now perhaps they had stopped trying all together. It was not their fault. It was yours. 

But why it was so painful? You were supposed to feel relieved that they had given up so that you didn’t have to blame yourself every time you turned their kind offer down and saw the sadness drawn on their faces. ‘Why do I keep feeling like shit no matter what I do?’

Feeling that the intense emotions that were barely suppressed by the nicotine started to get out of hand again, you cupped your head with both hands, the half-burning cigarette fell to the ground. Suddenly, your eyes caught the red burning tip of it, together with how the paper wrapping around the nicotine was slowly burnt to black. At that very moment, a dark but familiar thought popped up in your mind. You bowed down to pick up the cigarette, blankly staring at it resting between the two fingers of your right hand. Then, your eyes turned to your left hand, examining your spotty lower arm. It was full of the small round scars that were caused by burning your arms with the burning tip of a cigarette. You had noticed Ghost looked at these scars of yours many times; luckily he never asked about them. The army was a place filled with people who had different background stories and bore numerous scars, so it wouldn’t be abnormal for you to have some that were a bit funny-shaped.

‘Should I do this again?’ 

Maybe you should. It helped with the emotions. Well, temporarily, but that was good enough.

Just as you were about to press the burning tip into your lower left arm, someone threw their whole weight into you. You were hugged by two strong arms and the cigarette was again dropped to the ground.

“There you are! I’ve been finding you everywhere!” It was the Scot man. “Are you smoking? Gosh, I hate this smell! Price’s cigars are much better!”

‘The ones that smell good are never bitter enough.’ You thought to yourself.

“Have you had lunch, pretty boy?” Soap pinched your dumbfounded face.

“Not yet.”

“What? Unbelievable! Get to the kitchen with me right now, Sergeant.” The man literally manhandled you straight from the parking lot into the base, leaving you no time to object.

As you two arrived at your destination, Ghost was already sitting there, sipping some coffee. Soap forced you to sit down right next to him while he proceeded to walk to the fridge and pulled out a dish, putting it inside the microwave oven. 

“Here you are, babyboy~” He put the hot meal in front of you. You chose to ignore the pet name and his flirtatious voice simply because he had started doing it to you ever since you start working here. It was just one of his signature thing, you should not fall for it and mistake it as a sign of interest that could develop into romantic feelings. 

“Thanks, Soap.”

“Aw, don’t be so all worked up and formal, babyboy. Ya’ welcome~”

Silence fell over the three of you, until you just felt so awkward that you had to speak up, “So… how was this morning?”

“It was fine. Ghost stepped in your place and took care of the training.” Soap replied.

You carefully glanced at Ghost, just to find that the man already looked at you, which made you tremble slightly. The skull mask on his face made him too difficult to read, you couldn’t tell whether he was annoyed or he just gave up on expecting something greater from you. 

Soap laughed at your reactions, “It’s okay. You were drunk so Price agreed to let you sleep. Also, Ghost volunteered to help you with the training so he probably doesn’t hold a grudge. Am I right, Ghostie?”

The masked man didn’t answer; instead, he turned back to his cup of coffee.

You quickly finished your meal and left, saying that you should do training by yourself. The truth was you couldn’t stay there any longer, you didn’t want to disturb Ghost and Soap’s rare peaceful time together. You had already made too terrible an impression on Ghost, it’s best that you did not mess up again. As a result, you also missed their conversation. It was not intended for you to listen to anyway.

“You’re right. He did it.” Soap’s voice was solemn, with no sign of flirt or unseriousness like a few minutes before.

“You mean the scars?” Ghost looked up at him from the cup.

“Yeah, the round scar marks that you’ve told me many times.”

“It was just my guess. How do you know he really did it?”

“I found him in the parking lot. He was holding a burning cigarette and about to press it into his left arm.” 

A few minutes of silence passed until Ghost spoke up, “Fuckin’ hell.”

“I asked Price about his past, I know it’s a nosy thing to do, but I wanted to help. Unfortunately, Price knows nothing either. Y/n… the boy never opens up to us.”

The two men sat quietly, exchanging worried looks with each other. If only you could know how much they cared for you, maybe you would find it easier to accept their love and help. Yet, even if they told you, even if they desperately showed you so many times that they cared and loved you so much, would your brain allow your heart to welcome them just like how it used to welcome other people you had met earlier in your life, the ones who left you wounded and made you the way you were today? 

If someone asked you that question, you’d just offer them a weak smile and simply say: “No”. You're now too tired to hold on to any crumbles of hope left in your broken soul. You'd like to give up.

to be continued i guess :")

Taglist: @aphroditeslovr @prestigeghoul @edgyboi10000 @c0nny3917 @peter-the-pan @lovecats123451

[moldy-flowers]

UCHIHA CLAN HEADCANON THAT THEY'RE ALL SECRETLY YAPPERS.

Okay hear me out hear me out hear me out. Sasuke, is not a yapper, bc he's internalised all his yapping‼️ He doesn't know the Uchiha ways of the yap!!

Okay so like, when the children are like children, they're the ultimate yappers. But not near people they don't know. Imagine like Itachi coming home and Sasuke sprinting to the door yelling "Ni-San" repeatedly while jumping up and down. You can see it, cant you? BECAUSE HES A YAPPER!!

AND WHEN THEY AND WHEN THEY GROW UP THEY LIKE PICK A PERSON TO YAP OFF TOO AND LIKE THATS THAT PERSON FOR LIFE ITS LIKE SOULMATES SORT OF⁉️⁉️⁉️

Itachi was never a yapper and that's why Fugaku was like "Dont turn out like Itachi..." to Sasuke bc Itachi never conformed to the true Uchiha way!! They knew there was something wrong w him day one!!!

You know that scene where Sasuke to Mikoto is like "Does father care more about Itachi than me?? :(" and Mikoto tells him that actually Fugaku talks about Sasuke all the time behind closed doors? WELL IT MAKES SENSE NOW BC BC WHEN THE UCHIHA GROW UP THEY ONLY YAP TO THE PERSON THEY ARE CLOSEST TO I.E. MIKOTO‼️‼️ FUGAKU YAPS ALL THE TIME TO MIKOTO AND MIKOTO TO HIM‼️‼️

This also works for Shisui bc if we assume Shisuis parents died when he was young, Shisui never had anyone to raise him properly apart from the clan, and he wasn't really apart of their family's. Not to mention he was really highly praised and his goofy silly guy personality was brushed off bc Holy crap where the fuck did he go IS HE BEHIND ME WTF HOW??? HES LIKE 8!!???? WHAT THE SHIT‼️‼️‼️⁉️⁉️⁉️ So Shisui is at the age where he'd stop being a yapper but he's too far gone he's just a goof now and we love him for that.

Also, if we look at our beloved boy Izuna!! He's kind of a goober but he doesn't get the chance to goob around with everyone cause they're in war :(( He's a prankster bc he wants to lift up everyones spirits but when he's not w/ his family hes a snarky bitch (We love him for that!! We all cheer in unison)

Madara, we all saw his friendship with Hashirama, that boy was a yapper‼️ But the one he chose to yap to was Hashirama so most of the time he listens to Izuna yapping and stays quiet bc hashi is the enemy :((

Now our little freaky boy Obito!! He had no proper teacher of the Uchiha ways (pffft he doesn't even know the ways of the Uchiha yap? He's a lost cause just ignore him :// ) and he's lonely to he just yaps and yaps and yaps to anybody with an ear. But then he met Madara and was deyapped. He talks to himself though so just think that counts as a little yap.

Now onto the star of the show the silly little loser Sasuke :33 (Our boy!! our boy!! We all scream clap and cry) When everyone died he was too sad and scared and paranoid and traumatized to yap if anybody would have actually listened. And hc that he desperately clings into anything Uchiha bc he wants to be as close to his family as possible. And everybody he knew was stone cold, or calm and collected and kind to those they were close to. So he too would be stone cold and calm and collected!!! It wasn't too difficult to close himself off because he didn't have any friends in the first place. But did you notice how that when he shows Fugaku his grades and they're all straight A+'s, and in the show we learn they are also graded on their ability to work with others, and in Naruto: the last we see Naruto Sasuke and Sakura sitting at the same table!? Using our heads and our amazing smarts we, together as a team can deduce this means that Sasuke actually worked with a group and worked so well with them that it was deemed an A+ (DESPITE THE FACT HE WAS REALLY ANTI-SOCIAL!? I COULD NEVER) So this means that at a table Sasuke worked with his future team very well despite the fact their personalitys clashed so much, Sakura a nervous wreck which is something Sasuke outwardly hates, and Naruto, a prankster who totally has ADHD and will not focus on anything, and Sasuke at the time was pretty compassionate despite being a little bratty!! They worked together!! (this could also be when Sakura developed a crush on Sasuke!! And Naruto on Sakura!!! Do you see!?? My Uchiha yapping agenda is so canon!!!) I went on a little bit of a rant there BUT we also see at the beginning of the manga that Sasuke actually scored pretty low on his ability to work with others!! He was trying to be more like his dead clan by being stoic and closed off!! He doesnt know they were secretly sensitive losers!! (Whenever they're alone with their partner they're immediately clingy and become the most touch starved people in existence and cling to eachother like if they let go they'll suffocate and die)

Omg fic where for an amount of time Naruto Sasuke and Sakura have a group project that extends before and after the massacre and during it we see Sasuke go from Reluctantly a ball of Sunshine and energy to really depressed and jittery to cold hearted and stoic!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SOMEOME WRITE IT FOR ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

And so like, it's in the Uchiha genes to yap!! But Sasukes yaps have been internalised and his first like really long time in Konoha he has to relearn how to have conversations with people bc he just yaps in his head and forgets to respond. Everyone thinks Sasuke is soooo intimidating bc he just stands there and glares (He doesn't realise he's glaring) at you and makes you feel really really stupid but he's actually just wondering if he can adopt a fluffy pink cat bc he saw Sakura earlier and wants to know if cats can be pink too. Now he's wondering if he breeds the cats correctly if he could get a rainbow cat. Oh what did you say? SHIT uhmm just roll eyes and walk away roll eyes and walk away. Kiba has a theory that Sasuke is plotting something (He's plotting gay coloured cats) Unfortunately he's so quiet mysterious guy coded that he never truly learns to let out his inner yaps. But when he's home alone or w/ a partner he's comfortable with (Whoever you ship him with) He happily listens or when it's quiet he hums long forgotten lullabys that his mother used to sing. Although im not letting go of my touch starved clingy Sasuke agenda he hums while hugging with a vice grip. And also when Sarada was little he would sing songs to her go help her sleep (Sasuke singing somewhere over the rainbow anyone?? :33)

HAVE YOU BEEN CONVINCED BY MY YAPPER UCHIHA AGENDA!?!?!?!?!?!? HAVE YOU BEEN INFECTED BY THE YAPPER VIRUS YET!????

[ifortom]

Bad Decisions - T.H. (2)

frat!Tom x Reader - Fake dating AU

Chapter Summary: Y/N and Tom find themselves attending a lively party together, their mission disguised as a couple. As they navigate the evening's social intricacies, they must maintain their charade amidst curious friends.

MASTERLIST

W/C: +4K

• DAY 1

This was definitely a position you never expected to find yourself in.

While Tom was lying relaxed on your bed the day after you agreed to his deal, you paced back and forth without stopping. Several thoughts were going through your head with several different theories about why you had accepted such a crazy and risky proposal as this one.

Would it be out of pity for yourself? A way to save yourself the headache and questions from family members about when your big day will arrive, or why you're single?

Even worse, spare you from getting questions about your traumatic breakup with He Who Must Not Be Named?

Was all this to help a friend?

Truth be told - but never out loud - a large part of the decision was made out of jealousy. The photos from last night and your reactions are proof that you couldn't bear to see Tom with girls who don't deserve him. "Would you stop? It's making me dizzy." Tom said as he sat up properly on the bed. His hand patted the mattress twice, inviting you to join him.

"Sorry. I just… I'm nervous." You said as you sat on the bed next to him, your hands rubbing against each other trying to hide the tremors. Tom noticed.

"Y/N why are you so nervous? I thought you agreed." His hands were now intertwined with yours. "Besides, if you don't want to… that's okay. I'm not going to force you into anything and you know that."

"That's not it… I agreed, but that's strange. How should we act? What are we going to say?"

"Most people will say they saw it coming." Tom chuckled while you rolled your eyes. "Come on, I know you also heard that we should be together a while ago".

"God, even Professor Riley asked me that once." You said, releasing your hands from his and hiding your face.

"Really? Did we have any of his classes together?" Tom asked.

"Not really, but you always waited for me outside his class so we could go to lunch together. He just assumed."

"See? I think everyone figured this would happen at some point."

But would it be in these conditions? A lie. That was what this new side of your friendship would be based on.

"Okay. Since we're going to do this we need to establish some rules."

"Great, we've reached the cliché part of any fake dating deal." Tom says mockingly. "Don't tell me we can't kiss… it's impossible to make it believable if we don't do the basics."

"I wasn't going to say that, we certainly need minimal PDA." You say, getting up and walking around the room again. "But it turns out that your love language is physical touch, which happens to make you very touchy with everyone you like and have the intimacy to do."

"Okay, no touching anyone who isn't my fake girlfriend." He says. "We spend a lot of time together, nothing out of the ordinary."

"That, and being in a relationship also means you need to slow down your partying and spend more time with your partner."

"But… it also means that said partner can accompany me to these parties." Tom shot back.

"Tom, I'm not available on the same frequency as you are."

"Seriously, Y/N! It's not like I spend most of my time at frat parties." He looked at you in disbelief. "You know that very well."

He wasn't lying, Tom may have a big life but he is extremely centered and doesn't let himself get carried away so easily.

"Okay, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that. It's just…Sean used to go to a lot of parties while we were together." You sighed. "And not that that's a problem, after all just because we were dating didn't mean we needed to be glued to each other all the time, but… he was on another campus and it was strange not knowing what was going on. We know how wild these parties can get and I was always very worried because I wouldn't find out he was at one until the next day."

Tom put his arm around your shoulders and pulled you with him to lie down on the bed. Automatically, you settled into his arms, resting your head on his chest.

"He's an asshole, and everyone knows it. You don't have to worry about that with me." His hand caressed your arm. "As a friend and as a fake boyfriend, I will never leave you in a position like that."

"Thanks, Tommy!" Snuggling more and more into his body.

After a few minutes in the same position, you get up, patting Tom's chest.

"Okay, so what do we do now? What's the next step? We have two months until my sister's wedding, not counting the unofficial events that will take place beforehand."

"I think we need to start by introducing ourselves as a couple. And we start on campus."

"Shall we hold hands before entering the classroom? And will I watch you at training and games?" You say with a shameless smile.

"That too! But I thought we'd start sooner." He says, lifting his body and returning to the sitting position next to you.

"How?" You ask suspiciously and Tom sighs.

"It's Saturday and the team organized a little get together tonight to celebrate the start of the season. Which means it's not a huge party like usual. It's just the players and some friends." He analyzed your face before continuing. "I think it would be a great place for the news to start circulating. These are people close to me and I want you to meet them."

"You know our football players don't have the best reputation, right?"

"I know that, but they're good people. We're young, Y/N, and we mess up from time to time."

"You also break the hearts of innocent girls for fun." You laughed.

"Not everyone." He replied. "Not that it interests you much, but I always make it clear that everything is nothing more than a one night stand."

"What a gentleman you are, Tom Holland. Women love to be thought of like that."

"Stop making me be the bad guy. I say this so they don't get their hopes up about it happening again."

"If that's your motto, why would your friends think I'm any different?" You say quietly, and notice the proximity of your face and Tom, who is completely relaxed, supporting the weight of his body on his arms resting on the bed.

He calmly raises one of his hands and removes a strand of hair from your face, placing it behind your ear.

"Because you're different, and they know it. You're a constant in my life and that's not going to change."

Tom Holland has a habit of speaking dangerous words. Both for him and for you. It's not the first time he swears an eternal relationship between you and every time he repeats the promise your heart almost stops.

It's hard not to have deep thoughts when a handsome, intelligent and charming man says he wants to spend his life by your side.

"Is Taylor going to be there?" You ask, purposefully breaking the mood.

Tom's eyes move away from your face and stare at the wall.

"I'm not sure. But she's Jack's sister, so it's likely."

"Alright! We need to fulfill your side of the agreement too. Then we can think about what to do about the wedding."

"So we're going to the party?" He says and the fact that he used we, as if without you he wouldn't go, did things to your heart. But that's thinking too deeply, right?

"Hm…" You pretended to think. "Yes, Holland, we are.”

Once decided, you and Tom ordered a delivery for lunch while talking about the party and other common issues that were already a topic of conversation between the two of you.

He left a while later and said he would pick you up at home by car and you would go together to the house of one of the team's players where the little get together, as he said, would take place.

The butterflies in your stomach intensified the moment he left and you realized there was no turning back.

You could give up on everything but Tom was counting on you and the adrenaline was doing you good.

Especially when you reflected on your family's reaction to seeing that you had found another boy. And knowing Tom, you know that he would soon be embraced by your family with his kind and polite way.

Even though you know that there is an expiration date that has not yet been defined between you.

Since today is a non-school day, you spent the afternoon trying to distract yourself from the fact that you would be introducing yourself as someone's girlfriend after a while. Even crazier is introducing herself as the girlfriend of Tom Holland, one of the most popular guys on campus and star of the team. Even though Sean isn't very different, Tom is your friend and all of this was just a farce so that the two of you could benefit in some way.

But that can't stop you from the good feeling of being with someone in public and doing all the couple things you like.

You and Tom didn't rehearse or define what you were going to say and act when you arrived, you were just going to do what you normally do. But with more touches and caresses.

You looked in the mirror and checked what must have been your fifth change of clothes. You're not insecure, but today your feelings are running high and for the first time in a long time, you feel nervous about the idea of ​​going out.

Between dresses and pants, you opted for a black skirt that covered half of your thighs, not too short but not too discreet either. A tight white blouse and a beige cardigan covered your upper half. Along with sneakers on your feet for comfort.

Light but striking makeup painted your face. And you felt good about what you saw in the mirror. Until the apartment doorbell rang and you felt the butterflies in your stomach again.

Tom wasn't much different than what you're used to. He wore black pants, a white blouse and a cap on his head.

"Why are you wearing a cap at night?" That's what you told him.

"Woah, thanks for letting me praise you before you criticize me." He responded ironically. "But do you think it's bad?"

"I just don't understand the purpose." You say closing and locking the door behind you as you leave the apartment.

"Maybe…" He started taking the cap off his head and placing it on yours. "I just wanted to be able to make my girlfriend wear something of mine. That was the purpose." He says adjusting it.

"But now you just destroyed my outfit that took me a long time to decide." You say pouting.

Tom laughed and held your hand, walking with you to the car.

"You look beautiful!" He said and heat rose to your cheeks.

"You're just as you always are. Where's the effort, Holland?" You respond, in an attempt to divert the topic away from you and how you are.

The way to the house was quicker than it seemed and you had no idea you lived so close to one of the team's players. Tom parked and made a point of opening the door on your side, already meeting looks from people who were passing by. You removed the cap from your head and threw it in the back seat before getting out.

Outside, you looked at the house and the number of cars parked around it. It was also possible to hear the music coming from inside.

"Now is the time. I need to know that you are sure about this. If you don't want to we can leave or you could have just come to accompany me as my friend." He stopped in front of you, capturing your attention on his face. "You decide Y/N."

And after he said that, a quick doubtful thought crossed his mind. Was it really right to do this? How many people would get involved and believe your story? Your friends, Tom's, your family?

Not to mention the friendship between you. How many books and films prove that a fake relationship between two great friends ends in trouble are there?

But you remembered Tom's reaction when you laughed at his idea and how he avoided you the next day. He seemed extremely embarrassed by what he had suggested. Maybe your friendship was already doomed to failure the moment he proposed it.

So what else is there to be done? The alternative is to take advantage and continue with the plan. Who knows the end of this story? Only you can write it and if it depends on you, the promise to always be by his side will last for eternity. Nothing will come in the way of your friendship.

Looking into his eyes you nodded.

"I'm sure, let's do it." Tom smiled and offered his hand which you held tightly as you walked together to the entrance of the house.

From the inside, it was already possible to see that the definition of small get together for you and those people was the complete opposite. Really, the place wasn't packed with people like other parties tend to be, but it seemed like every room accommodated a group.

Tom greeted some people on the way who pointed out the back of the house for him.

When you passed through the huge door that gave access to the garden, a circle of people sat in a covered space. Tom walked up to them and you finally recognized some faces. Harrison, with whom you had already shared some classes together and is a close friend of Tom's, as well as Brian, who had made the unnecessary comment about you and Tom a few days ago, and some girls on the cheer team

"Finally! The man of the hour." Harrison said ironically and the others laughed.

"Sorry, I had to make a stop." And Tom pulled you closer to him, letting go of your hand and resting his on your waist.

"Woah, Y/N! I didn't expect to see you here." Harrison said.

"Yeah… Tom can be pretty convincing." You replied looking at Tom.

"So you guys are…" Tyler, who you recognized, began to speak.

“Y/N is my date tonight.” Tom replied.

"Good job, Tommy." Brian said, raising the bottle of beer he was drinking as if in salute to Tom, a sarcastic smile on the corner of his mouth.

This caused you discomfort and Tom squeezed your waist.

Amber, one of the cheerleaders, who was always very friendly and not the classic stereotype, smiled at you.

“It’s good to see you, Y/N.” She said, getting looks from the other girls.

Tom pulled out one of the upholstered benches and sat down and when you looked at him as if asking what to do, he just looked at his lap.

It's hard to believe he simply wants you to sit on his lap. As if it were something normal and that you do every day.

He looked at you again and signaled for you to sit down. It didn't seem like it, but you felt extremely awkward as you tried to settle into his lap without looking uncomfortable for a variety of reasons, including the fact that you were wearing a skirt.

When you finally felt like you weren't showing anything you didn't want, you leaned back against Tom's chest and he also placed one of his arms on your lap, in an attempt to protect you.

His breath hit your neck, giving you goosebumps. That's how it would be from now on. One of his hands was holding your waist, while the other was on top of your thigh, even over your skirt, you could feel the heat emanating from him.

Tyler offered Tom a beer, who politely declined, explaining that he was driving, which caused a fit of laughter among some of the guys.

"I have a girl to protect." He replied and you saved the fact that you needed to reprimand him for driving after drinking.

After Tom denied it, Tyler pointed the bottle at you, who hesitated but Tom whispered in your ear that it was okay, that you could have fun and he would take care of you if you needed it.

And so the night went on, the boys really weren't what they seemed to be. Even with some unnecessary comments from time to time, they made you laugh and told stories you didn't know about. Even the cheerleaders were including you in their conversations.

"Are you having fun?" Tom whispered in your ear.

You turned to face him the way you could within the position you were in.

"They're not that bad." You answered. "At least, not all of them." You laughed, adjusting yourself on his lap so that you were on your side, legs crossed over his, making it easier to look at him.

Tom knew that you were mainly referring to Brian, that at one time or another he made comments about you and looked at you without stopping. At these moments, he would seek your attention and try to reassure you with touches showing that he was there.

"Not everything can be perfect, right?"

You laughed and threw your arms around his neck, bringing his face closer to yours.

"What is that?" He asked.

"We need to make this believable, right?" You answered. The drink was already taking effect and you were feeling more daring than usual.

His nose brushed yours, your breaths mixed due to the little space between you.

"You're dangerous, you know that?" He responded slowly.

"Really? I don't think I am."

"Why did you dress like that tonight? I wasn't lying when I said you look beautiful. And other things…"

"What you mean? Do you have a thing for legs?” You asked, playing with the hair on the back of his neck and his hand caressed the exposed part of your thigh.

"You know you're hot today. I know you. Who are you trying to impress?" He asked, squeezing your thigh.

"There's only one person I need to impress." You replied seductively. "And I think I've done a good job."

Tom and you often playfully flirt. He never held back when praising you, but something was different today. Blame it on the beer, but your perception was that he was enjoying this deeper game you were playing.

And yes, you were also more sassy than usual. The mouth close to his and the slow way you spoke were proof of that.

"Hey, I think you guys better find a room." Harrison interrupted whatever was going on between you. You pulled away, realizing you were lost in him and forgot about the people around you.

Amber called you by name.

"Shall we go to the bathroom?"

"Why do you girls have this thing about going to the bathroom together?" Tyler asked.

Amber smiled and pulled you by the hand, making Tom let go.

"We share secrets." She replied cheekily and you left together.

"Girl, what was that? You two were almost swallowing each other in front of all of us." She said as soon as she closed the bathroom door and you laughed.

"I didn't even notice." You responded by covering your face.

"I just have to congratulate you, Tom Holland is definitely the most sought-after guy on the team." She said taking out a lip gloss from the small bag she was carrying and looking at herself in the mirror. "But you were friends, right? I always saw you guys together, but today it seems like you can't keep your hands off each other."

"Yeah… we are, we're trying something." You replied and Amber smiled offering you the lip gloss which you refused.

"And I wish you guys luck, I'm happy for him. I hope you guys last." She said and the last sentence bothered you, pricking that small piece of sobriety in you. "Let's go back?" She said opening the door.

When you were close enough to the circle, you realized that Tom was no longer there. Lost, you looked around for him but to no avail.

“He went to get you some water from the kitchen” Harrison announced seeing your confusion and you nodded at him.

"And do you know who went after him?" Brian's voice filled the space. "Taylor. And it's also been a while since he left and hasn't come back yet." He shrugged as if there were no ulterior motives behind his words.

You looked back and without responding went into the house. Even though you bumped into several strangers on the way, you found the kitchen but Tom was no longer there.

He wouldn't leave you there alone, right? He wouldn't embarrass you like that by showing up to the party with you and leaving with another girl.

Tom may be many things but he values ​​your friendship and wouldn't do that to you. Or would he? Would he allow himself to be carried away by his desire for a girl?

Panic set in, and you looked around for any sign of him, that he was still there.

Fingers found your shoulders and you turned around in fright. You expected to find Tom but the one in front of you was Taylor. Her eyes cold and glued to your face.

"I will destroy you." She said. "I thought my relationship with Tom was very clear, but apparently some people need to learn in a harder way."

It was unbelievable the things she could say. Taylor truly believed there was a relationship between them. And from the way she said it, they had already met at the party while you were away and apparently she didn't get what she wanted.

At any other time you would have avoided conflict, not out of fear, but because of the passive way you live outside of confusion that doesn't concern you. But how can a stranger threaten you like that? Who does she think she is?

"So this is how you react when you don't get what you want? You think threatening others will make things happen for you?" Taylor didn't expect you to hit back and her stance dropped. "You should wake up to life, not everyone will give in to your desires out of fear of you."

Her shocked expression was what you needed to put an end to the conversation, turn your back and return to Tom's arms.

But you weren't finished yet.

"Tom and I are together, and that's what we call a relationship." And with that you left her.

It didn't take long for you to find the person you were looking for, who had returned to the back of the house where the rest of the people were. But he hadn't joined them yet, in fact he was waiting for you near the door.

He saw you and smiled but noticed your irritated expression as you walked towards him.

"Hey, what happened?" His hands cupped your face. "Why that face?"

"I ran into Taylor, and I know you did too."

"What did she say to you?" His expression was one of concern. "Y/N, I cut her off right away. I said I was here with someone else and…"

You didn't let him finish, in seconds his lips were on yours.

Tom seemed surprised and hesitant but then he pulled you closer by the waist and your arms wrapped around his neck.

The kiss got deeper and deeper and you forgot that there was an audience watching. Tom explored your mouth with his tongue as if he depended on it.

The lack of air made you pull away but soon your lips collided again as if it was painful to be apart.

"Y/N, we need to stop now. I don't…"

"I don't want to." You replied, again pulling him closer.

"I admit I don't either, but we have too many eyes on us." He said laughing lightly and running his eyes over the people staring at the two of you.

You took a deep breath and rested your head on his chest, hiding your face.

"It's a shame because I won't know when we'll do it again." You said quietly but clearly enough for Tom.

His fingers squeezed you tightly because he understood what you meant. It was all a lie, and displays of affection at this level should only be done in public spaces.

"I think you went a little overboard on the beer." He sighed. "Shall we go home? It's late."

"I want to be with you."

"Let's go then. I'll let you sleep in my bed, even at the risk of waking up full of vomit." He laughed and you punched his shoulder.

You quickly said goodbye to the group of people, including Taylor who had joined them and had witnessed your entire show. Some of the boys raised their hands in thumbs up as if they knew what would happen when Tom took you home.

Oh if only they knew the truth.

TAGLIST: @feelinglikeineedlotsofnaps @un06 @lnmp89 @hoodharlow @let-me-luve-you @erule @smoofine @smile2345 @itsdoni @helen-on-earth @kagtobis @let-me-luve-you @erule @smoofine @jennifersworldsblog @itsdoni @helen-on-earth @appleypi @spetacular-skywalker @marajillana @hufflepuff-n-fluff @aol19 @milasexutoire @watarmelon212 @miniaturetreecollectorfan-blog @tomhollandfavwife @aol19 @twsssmlmaa

[maximumkillshot]

"I Can't Lose You" Part 3

Warnings: This one is bad... Like bad bad. Uhm so please pay attention to these warnings. *Brings out a scroll with a solemn face.* Descriptions of Blood, Emergency medical procedure explainations, Shock, Grief, Chan gets shoved once, (IF YOU WANT NO SPOILERS AND KNOW YOU CAN HANDLE THE FIC CONTINUE) Child Loss, Descriptions of miscarriage.

Pairing: Bangchan x Reader

Characters: OC Doctor, Stray Kids, Reader

A/N: I know the cut is very high up but I needed to be sure that it wouldn't trigger someone would get triggered by the story. I am so sorry I am doing this to y'all. But here we are. Enjoy getting your heart ripped out? I guess. IF YOU WANT MORE TELL ME!

Also remember, this is a fan fic. All of the boys are so sweet IRL.

Stray Kids! Masterlist

Overall Masterlist

ALL WORK IS UNDER ME AND MY BLOG. DO NOT TRY TO REPUBLISH OR STEAL MY WORK, AS THAT IS COPYRIGHTED UNDER ME AND IS CONSIDERED COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT WHICH IS A PUNISHABLE OFFENSE. 

ANY WORK THAT YOU SEE ON OTHER SITES THAT ARE MY WORKS PLEASE NOTIFY ME IMMEDIATELY.

Previously:

You looked at Bin and Han and begged them to stay. Both of them looked at the doctor and said that whatever was happening, they weren't leaving. The doctor could see that you really needed them and as long as they were not in the way, it didn’t matter whether they were here or not. 

After the nerve block and the procedure, the doctor cleaned you up and draped a warm blanket over you, while the nurses hooked up a transfusion and closely monitored you. The doctor asked for Bin in the hall while Han went right back to your hand without the IV in it, so he could hold it properly.

Bin tried to ignore it during the procedure but the look that the doctor had on his face when he was doing the preliminary exam was haunting. Whatever he was called out here for… it wasn’t good.

NOW:

Once both Bin and the Doctor were in the hall and closed the sliding door separating you from the bustling main hallway, Bin got that feeling again. That sick feeling that something was wrong. The doctor looked like he was trying to stay professional. 

It was then that Bin noticed the doctor's wedding ring. He wondered to himself if the doctor was like Bin. So deep in love that seeing anyone else doesn’t just feel blasphemous, but it’s so out of the question it’s nauseating. The doctor began.

“Are you her husband?” He asked.

“No…” Bin replied. He could feel the bile rising in his throat with that one question. He immediately thought, If I was this never would’ve happened.

“Are you family?��� The doctor looked at him.

“Yes. Are they okay?” Bin looked at the doctor.

“She lost a lot of blood, through something called a hemorrhage. It’s a rare complication especially this early on. She wouldn’t have made it if this happened at home. But it’s under control now.” the doctor said. He seemed to be trying to be as sympathetic as possible, making the next question sting more.

“Okay, and the baby?” Bin asked as he was trying to hold on to the possibility, some shred of hope that you and the baby were okay. He didn’t want the answer to be…

“I’m sorry.” The doctor slowly shook his head as he bowed his head slightly. The doctor looked guilty, like this was the worst part of his job, not being able to save someone. 

“How? Why?” Bin asked as it felt like his heart twisted. He didn’t know how you were going to get through this. He knew you too well. He knew that the pain you were about to feel, the emotional pain, would spell your demise... Bin couldn’t wouldn’t let that happen. 

“There is a cause-and-effect relationship that stress, extreme traumatic stress, like what you described, can cause a mis--” “Please don’t finish that word.” Bin pleaded with tears in his eyes. That word. He’s never hated a word in his life, until now. A word like that, even the word Death is kinder. To die you need to have lived in the first place, breathe air, feel emotions, like happiness, fear, love… None of those things happened for your child, through no fault of their mother. The same woman he’s staring at, the very same woman he always stared at. 

“The fact that she went through the shock as well as the prolonged stress after that shock, and didn’t have any previous symptoms of that happening prior to that, rules out all of the other options.” he paused and looked at his ring. Bin could tell what he was thinking, the doctor’s jaw tight, I could never dream of doing that, then continued, “You know her better than I do. Will she need something to calm her down?”

“Yes… but I don’t think she’ll accept it.” Bin looked back at you and Han. You looked so out of it. Like you were and were not there simultaneously. He has never seen you like this. From what he could see it looked like Han was doing his best to distract you. He was playing with your fingers as he joked. 

It was convincing enough to relax you, but Bin knew better. His eyes are always so expressive, if he's genuinely relaxed, his eyes show it. Bin could tell that Han was many things at this point in time, and worry free was not one of them. 

“Would you like to tell her?” the doctor asked. That question made Bin think a little bit. If he did tell you, he didn't know if you'd believe him. It's easier to ignore reality when the person breaking the news isn't a doctor. You'd accept it if it came from the doctor. 

“She’ll believe it if you say it… Just have the medicine on standby. Also, what do we do to help her? What’s next?” He asked.

“Well like I said her bleeding was extensive... I want to keep her for at least a full 24 hours, in case the bleeding starts again. I’ll also arrange for her to meet with the OBGYN during that time as well, to make sure we got all of the tissue out, that way there’s no chance of another hemorrhage or infection. Sounds like a plan?” The doctor asked.

“Yes… thank you." Bin took a deep breath before he went in, the doctor trailing behind him. 

The doctor closed the sliding door as Bin looked at you, then at Han briefly. He lowered the guardrail and made eye contact with Han, who mirrored his actions shortly after. 

“Mrs. Y/L/N” the doctor began but you cut him off. 

“My baby. Please tell me my baby’s okay… please,” the urgency written on your face. 

Han's eyes were set on Changbin. The minute you asked that question, Bin lowered his head, jaw tight, and tears were already beginning to form. When Bin looked at Han, he already knew. 

The doctor looked at you and said “I...I’m so sorry.” 

Your face showed nothing but confusion… you had just gotten the first ultrasound. You had it done a week ago. No, you saw your baby.

“Y/N” Bin asked gently. He saw the look on your face, and it killed him. Seeing your brain reach for any other outcome other than the one right in your face. He tucked some stray strands of hair behind your ear as he watched and waited for the understanding to reach your face, it didn’t.

“No, it can’t be, I just got the ultrasound done. No,” you replied.

Han and Bin looked at each other. Han's eyebrows dipped, as he processed and tried to brace for impact. Bin on the other hand, was willing himself to take a step back, knowing that you needed to hear this. It had to get through, that's the only way you could start healing. 

The doctor looked solemn as he said, “Mrs. Y/L/N I could tell that you were and still are contracting. The reason why your body is doing it, from what I can discern, is because your body went through extreme stress and emotional trauma, when that happens this early, your body rejects the pregnancy. That does not mean that this is your fault, it's the opposite. It’s completely out of your control.”

Bin could see the cogs turning in your brain as you slowly started shaking your head. Reality starting to seep in. Bin wished that you didn't have to go through this. That you got the fairytale ending without the heartbreak. That you didn't have to face the death of your own child. That pain, anguish, and suffering. 

The doctor continued, “There is an even rarer condition in which the body rejecting the pregnancy ends in a condition called a hemorrhage. It’s a technical term for excessive bleeding, in this case, it happened because your body is trying to expel the tissues in your cervix. Because it was so sudden, your cervix didn’t have time to open. When I examined you, you weren’t even at half a centimeter dilation, and all of that tissue was trying to be expelled. That was why I had to do that procedure, to get the tissue out so bleeding could be minimized. I’m so sorry… but you had a miscarriage.”

Once that word was said the scream that you let out was something that Han nor Bin have ever heard in their lives. It was soul-crushing. Both of them could hear your heart breaking, shattered on the ground. Bin and Han wanted nothing more than to pick up those pieces and fix it. They knew that they couldn't, this is a hurt they can't fix.

Han held you as you screamed, begged, pleaded… You looked at Bin. “Bin please, look at me. Please tell me it's not true… Please you don’t lie to me, I know you'll tell the truth pleeease.”

Bin looked at you, “I can’t tell you it’s not true. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.” The look of devastation on his face only sealed the fact. Bin has never lied to you so why would he start now? Especially with something as serious as whether or not you had a miscarriage. 

The look that painted his face, brows upturned as his eye contact was nothing short of empathetic. You could tell he wanted to lie. 

He wanted it to be false, that it was just some freak minor bleeding… that the baby was okay…he wanted it so badly… but you can't want something into existence. 

That realization hit you in a split second as the monitors that were connected to you, measuring vitals, started going off. You could feel nothing but pain. The involuntary gnawing, pulling pain. The blood, the cold from lack of blood in your body…The physical agony was nothing compared to what you felt in that split second. 

Your heart rate was literally too fast for you to register, pain surging through you as comprehension slammed into you like a tsunami. The baby is gone. Your baby. Your heart rate was through the roof and the doctor went to your IV.

“Y/N I’m going to give you something to calm you down okay? Your heart can’t take this stress, it’ll give out.” The doctor pushed the medication. 

“I want my baby…Bin I want my baby… Han please, my baby.” You sobbed as you held on to Han. 

All Bin could do was say, “I know you do, I’m so sorry. I’m here. I’m sorry.”

Han got on the gurney with you and cradled you. He cried with you. Prayed that it was just a nightmare. Han looked to Bin, only to find him trying to fight the tears that were falling down his face. Bin's soul was hurting for you, bargaining with whatever powers out there, to give himself up for you and your child. He knew it was irrational but if he could've, he would've. 

As soon as the medicine kicked in your breathing started to slow. You still whimpered and cringed as you felt your body bearing down, still shaking slightly and cold to the touch. Han draped his jacket over you, resting you against his chest, singing to you, to calm you. 

Every once in a while reality would crash into you again, you’d reach for Bin. You knew why you did, he was always there. He always understood you on a deeper level. Sometimes he knew what you needed when you didn’t even know you needed it. 

Eventually he pulled up a chair and laid his head on his forearm, hand in yours and close to his lips. as he gently rubbed circles into your hand with his thumb. As soon as you’d squeeze that hand he’d squeeze back as he nuzzled into your hand. His way of letting you know that yes, this is the reality, but he is still here. Wordlessly, endlessly, he’d be here. Sometimes you’d comb your fingers through his hair, the feeling somewhat comforting.  

You were so tired it went down to your bones. Sometimes only mustering a long blink at the pain. Eventually your vitals started looking good enough to transport.

The doctor came in with solemn reverence, like he was intruding on a funeral.“Y/N, we’re going to keep you overnight at the least, you’re going to have a visit from the OBGYN in the morning, okay? We have your bed ready so soon someone’s going to come to transport you.”

You just looked up at the doctor and nodded, “T-thank you” you hiccupped, “Hannie and Binnie are staying with me.”

“I’ve already put a cot in the room for them. I wish I could’ve done more,” he said with a sad smile. Bin got up and shook his hand, thanking him.

As soon as the transport nurses came to get you Bin said “I’ll see you in a bit. I just need to do something really quick.” you nodded and Bin kissed your forehead. He had to go back to the house. He didn’t know why immediately, just that he had to. 

He was on autopilot the entire ride to the house, except for the red lights.  He didn’t need to be strong at those lights. He’d scream where no one could hear him. Letting the pain out as images of you flashed. Smiling, then flashing to the scream you let out. Laughing, then sobbing in that hospital gurney. Cooking with him, to crying on Han. 

His screams were from mourning, pain, and frustration. He mourned the baby and you. The pain for you, the pain of realizing all of the things that you won’t experience. The frustration of not being able to see it before. To protect you, guard you. He wanted to rip something… someone… apart. There. That was the impulse that drove him back to the house.

At the last red light, he breathed deep, not even wanting to. He used whatever force that was left over as he screamed one last time. Everything he did, your child would never experience. Every scream echoed, redoubling the anguish he had for the both of you. Culminating into this, silence as he turned the corner to the house.

To his surprise, all of the other member’s cars were still at the house when he pulled up. When he parked, he looked at the clock on his dashboard, it was 2 a.m. Had it been 6 hours already? 

He felt his adrenaline kick up as he opened the door. He found everyone still wide awake, waiting for answers, but one look at Bin and they gathered what they needed.

Chan walked into the room from the kitchen and his jaw dropped upon seeing him.

“Bin…what happened?” Felix asked gently, hand’s slightly raised, as if approaching a wild animal. The aura on Bin wasn’t his aloof, goofy, self, it was the opposite; dark, threatening, dangerous. Bin’s eyes were trained on Chan, the closer he got, the more Bin felt his resolve slipping… Chan looked at him up and down, concern and horror written on his face. It was only then that Bin noticed he was covered in your blood.

His resolved snapped at that realization, upper lip ticking into a repressed snarl as he breathed “I’m… going to kill you.” He made a B-line to Chan. Felix, Minho, and Jeongin had to hold him back. 

Once Bin realized he couldn’t get to Chan, he screamed, “Was it worth it?! HUH?!!” His veins were popping out under his skin as he struggled to get free, “Was it?! Tell me! You hurt and nearly killed the only person I’ve ever loved. She’s dead inside now, all thanks to you!” More flashes accompanied that sentence, him picking you up and watching you go limp, eyes fluttering.

Felix looked at Bin and said, “What?... Hyung..” Felix's voice trailed off, trying to process what he heard. Felix knew that if he heard Bin correctly…he couldn’t even complete that thought.

Bin’s eyes snapped to Felix and he relaxed to the point where all three let go.

“The doctor said that because of the severe stress and emotional trauma she endured her body rejected the pregnancy.” He bum-rushed Chan and slammed him against the wall, while everyone was either in shock or processing. Felix was the first and only one to try to get Bin off Chan. Changbin was just too strong for the younger man, he ignored Felix as he tried wordlessly to pry Bin away from Chan. 

Bin continued staring into Chan's eyes, “The miscarriage was so sudden, in fact, that she hemorrhaged and almost bled to death because her cervix couldn’t open on its own in time. They had to scrape the tissue out just to stop it from killing her! And she looked at me to see if it was really true because I don’t LIE to her. Then they had to sedate her because her heart was going to give out when she realized that it was true.”

At this point Bin tightened his grip on Chan, “You are lucky that she asked for me to stay with her… If not I would kill you, right here. You are going to stay AWAY until or even IF she ever wants to see you again. I mean it Chan, if you come near her, I will end you. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise.” With that, he dropped Chan and went to the washroom. He washed off as much blood as he could and went to his room to change into spare clothes. He wanted to destroy everything in his room. His keepsakes, his picture frames of the boys all together. There was only one picture frame that he did smash to dust before he left his room… the one of himself and Chan, on Chan’s wedding day. He picked up his bloody clothes, stalked back out to Chan, and threw the clothing at him. 

He was shaking with rage as he said, “To YOU… this could’ve been a game or a thrill, fucking with her heart. But THAT!” he pointed to the clothing, “that is the reality. A child is dead, your child and it almost killed Y/N too. Next time you want to contact her, look at what you did to both of them while you do it.”

Before Chan could say anything Bin was slamming the door shut behind him with such force that the wall itself vibrated. Right as he made it to his car Felix ran to him. “Can I go with you?” he asked.

“I’m not leaving the hospital for the whole night, you know that, right?” 

Felix nodded and got into the passenger seat. The whole ride over Felix couldn’t help but to stare at Bin. He has never seen him like this. So enraged that he was three seconds away from crushing Chris’ windpipe. 

He also noted how Bin didn’t seem to know that he was covered in blood until Chris looked at him. Even now he could see Bin’s grip on the steering wheel was so strong his knuckles were white. He didn’t know exactly what happened in those four hours they weren’t given updates, and Felix knows just by seeing Bin, he never wants to find out. 

As soon as Bin entered your hospital room he heard you say “Binnie?”

Honestly, he could melt every time you call him that.

“I’m back…” he chuckled slightly… “And I brought some sunshine with me…”

The minute he looked into your eyes, you smiled just a little. That was progress. He kissed your forehead as Felix looked you over. 

Felix is like your little brother, so the minute you saw him and he saw you, you both started crying. Han got off the bed knowing Lix would want to be with you for a bit, for both of your sakes. 

This gave Han and Bin time to talk out in the hall.

“How’re her contractions?” Bin asked.

“They’re slower but still strong. The doctor says that it’ll be strong for at least 5 to 10 hours.” Han reported.

“And you? How’re you doing?” Bin asked. He knows Han has anxiety, seeing all of this and being as strong as he’s been is not easy. 

“I’m… Out of all people, Bin.” Han shook his head. Han has known Chan the longest and he would’ve never expected him to do this. 

“I know”

“Please tell me you didn’t hit him.” Han said.

“Nah… She needs me more than I need to beat him to a pulp… I don’t think he’ll be bothering her anymore though.” That’s at least what Bin hopes. Everything is so raw. A little over 8 hours before this you were at a restaurant to celebrate your 3rd anniversary. Now everything was all wrong, a nightmare incarnate and no one can wake up from reality. 

“Hyung… She can’t go back to that house.” Han said as he took a deep breath.

“I know. All I know is that we'll do what she’s comfortable with.”

“Agreed…Bin?” Han asked.

“Yeah?”

“It should’ve been you with her. From the beginning.” Han looked to Bin, a look of understanding and empathy for Bin. Han could always see the way Bin looked at you when no one else was looking. Everything you said would be committed to his memory, even the smallest things like which brand of sesame oil you like best for your bulgogi marinade. 

“I know. That doesn’t mean that I can’t be here for her from now on.”

Han just smiled and both of them went back into the room. 

********************************************************************

Want to suggest something?

WANT MORE? TELL ME SO!

Want in on the tags? Shoot me an ask and consider it done.

@Fuckthinking, @feybin , @1-800-shedevil , @channiesbakery, @channieswhore , @hwangswhore , @seungminhour , @skzms, @angstraykids, @roseykat, @seventeenytiny , @dreaming-medium , @thunderous-wolf , @hanjsquokka , @moonjxsung, @diddybok, @fics-lovebot, @seungminssangel, @straykeedz, @tasteracha, @ven-fic-recs , @euphoric-univers, @camilagonzalex , @juskz, @antoniorhinothethird, @mariteez, @armystay89, @i-like-nougat, @yeonjunsfox

[reesiereads]

The fact the children are the ones who are punished in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has never made sense to me. Like isn’t the whole point that the parents are the ones at fault for the children’s behavioral issues and struggles? Every fucking song describes how the parents caused the problem.

The Gloops never taught Augustus self-control. The Beauregardes pushed and pushed on Violet to be the best to the point she valued being number one over her own safety. The Salts spoil Veruca to hell and back to the point she doesn’t understand the world doesn’t revolve around her. The Teavees neglect Mike and allowed him to essentially be raised on television and the internet, leading to him growing up too fast and not developing any social skills.

Like, don’t get me wrong, the children aren’t entirely exempt from their own actions, but I was under the impression catcf was supposed to be a cautionary tale? Like “raise your children properly as they will become a result of what you allow.”

I guess you could argue punishing the kids is meant to shock the adults into change since they’re being forced to face the absolute worst sides of their own children, which they created. However this, to me anyway, doesn’t work with all of Wonka’s vindictiveness? If Wonka agrees the children’s behaviors aren’t their fault then why would he punish them? It doesn’t seem fair?

Because traumatizing/killing children for their bad behavior literally does nothing to help them because, as the source material is literally trying to say, their behavior is stimming from their parents poor parenting. So why isn’t it that the parents are punished and forced to change so that the children may then change under better parenting?

Not only that but the things Wonka punishes the children for are sorta arbitrary, particularly in Augustus’ case. You’re telling me Augustus deserves to fucking drown because he happens to eat a lot and is fat? By this logic if you told me Wonka decided to kill off Charlie just because he’s poor and spent that dollar he found on what he wanted instead of his family I wouldn’t even be surprised!

Obviously I’m taking it too seriously, it’s not that deep, but I stand by my stance that the parents should have received the children’s punishments.

[animeyanderelover]

I'm no professional so keep that in mind when reading this.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusion, clinginess, overprotective behavior, paranoia, delusion, abduction, murder, ptsd, abuse, depression, trauma, torture, isolation

Don't touch me!

Jonathan Joestar

💍 He's just shattered when he finds out about the traumatic events that his s/o had to go through and he will guarantee that their uncle will be sued and properly punished for his actions if he has gotten away with it so far. Since you are Jonathan's darling and he comes from a wealthy family, it's definitely going to be a big deal that someone traumatized his lover and partner and the normally kind soul can't help but turn a tad bit cold when your uncle gets thrown into prison and stripped of all his rights. It's justice for his darling after all. Jonathan wants to help his darling, he has no bad intentions but the problem is that he's just so overbearing, protective and very touchy so he finds it a bit difficult at times, although he refrains from touching you in order to not trigger any flashbacks and risk any strong emotional or physical responses of panic or fear from you. He calls for a professional, he genuinely wants to help his darling in any way he can. With touching as a sign of affection out of the way, he resorts to spoiling them with presents and gifts and gets them about anything they ask for since the poor guy just wants to see you happy. Seeing you sad kills him a bit on the inside.

Lisa Lisa

💌 Her possessive and overprotective side definitely cracks up a few notches when she successfully finds out what has happened to you in your past. She has already lost her husband George so she would be especially attentive to you and she is pretty perceptive so it takes only short to realize your clear fear of men and being touched by them. Either you tell her, although she won't force you if she realizes that it's tough for you, or your family but in either case, Lisa Lisa will find out one way or another, she can't ignore this when it involves you. She's terrifying when she's angry as she's as icy as the coldest winter and she will definitely deal with your uncle and have a word with him to ensure that he will never appear in your life again. Without a doubt she's a bit paranoid for your safety and mental well-being so she brings you with her to her island for safety reasons, as she likes to tell you. It enables her to keep a better eye on you and she can also convince you that besides Loggins and Messina, who are loyal to he, there are no other men there and that Suzie Q will attend to all of your needs. She's noticably softer with you and more careful whenever she approaches the subject of your trauma.

Mariah

🪙She uses her darling's trauma totally to her own advantage as she is delighted to realize that she has an advantage since she is a woman and can successfully convince you to isolate yourself more due to your dislike and fear of being touched by men. Obviously she still stays with you, you can't be all alone without her by your side after all. Regarding that scumbag of your uncle, she just takes matters into her own hands and just gets rid of him because that vile thing touched and hurt her darling. She's a bit of a sadist when it comes to her torturing her victims, she'll definitely torture your uncle in the last moments of his life before she kills him with her Stand. Mariah is very sweet to her darling to lure them successfully to her side, she'll probably convince them into staying with her all the time and not going outside without her. There isn't a big interest in helping you living with your PTSD but only as long as it doesn't affect her own love life with you. The woman is quite touchy herself after all and whilst she is no man and thinks that by that logic you won't mind her touch, she'll be very visibly agitated and upset if you react negatively to her touches as well.

Higashikata Josuke

💎 Josuke is very problematic simply because he turns very moody and aggressive when he realizes what the problem is and why you always react so skittish and frightened when he tries to touch you affectionately. Don't get him wrong, he isn't mad with you. He's furious with your uncle and that that that asshole dared to do such things to you and Crazy Diamond will break and fix that man surely again and again until he's not recognizable anymore, only then will Josuke's anger cool down a tad bit. Josuke just has so much love to give his darling, he's a teenager infatuated and being unable to express his love via touches, one of his main love languages, is just killing him on the inside. He's frustrated and that frustration just builds and builds inside of him and explodes out of him at unpredictable times so his friends and close acquaintances are more careful around him as one small thing can set the boy off. He's still very clingy and follows you around, often without you being aware of it as he just wants to be with you somehow. He tries to be as supportive as he can be though, buys you snacks and drinks and he hopes for your therapist that they can help you.

Bruno Bucciarati

🤐 Bucciarati is going to be very intrusive, even if it's an invasion of your privacy. It would be troublesome if you'd dislike him and hate his touches as much but due to his observations he realizes that this is the norm with all men you encounter in your life which leads him to the conclusion that there is most likely a deeper problem here. If it's concerning your well-being, no matter if physical or mental, Bruno prioritises it over your own privacy. So he either uses his connections as a mobster or he charms you or your family into telling him what has happened to you, he can be very convincing after all and he's very adored by people in general for his helpful and trustworthy personality. He's livid but keeps himself well composed, his pursed lips the only sign of his wrath. Your uncle will be without a shred of doubt be properly punished with his limbs detached from his body, Bruno will see it through that he can never see you again. Very supportive, he will even take over the costs of your treatment, although he also expects you to not skip any meetings. He stays patient otherwise for now, aware that forcing you into anything would only worsen your condition.

Cujoh Jolyne

🪢 Men can be pretty shitty, she speaks from experiences with her own ex-boyfriend and to a certain extent also her own father but the anger and resentment she might still hold against those two doesn't even compare to the unmatched wrath she feels when she discovers what your own uncle did to you. If she wouldn't be in prison, she'd pummel the living crap out of that vile man. If she isn't imprisoned though, not even the best of luck would help your uncle as she beats him down mercilessly with her Stand and her own fists. Jolyne grows significantly more clingy after that and always stays close to you. She's pretty protective but especially if she knows that her darling has had bad experiences with something or someone so she's always on guard around man and if one of them touches you despite your protests, she instantly goes into attack mode. Part of her knows that she shouldn't, but if your PTSD causes you to stick closer to her since she's a woman, she'd really enjoy that a lot. Differently from Mariah though, she understands that you need professional help so that your trauma doesn't interfere with your daily life. But there's no need to rush things, right?

[cocogum]

Nora is being indirectly mistreated by her own family.

(And why my Noramalia obsession is slowly increasing-)

I don’t know why this happened the way it did but episodes 7 and 8 FED ME SOME GOOD NORAMALIA MOMENTS ✨✨

Also, let me just say how episode 7 ended up being the FIRST EVER recorded conversation between Amalia and Nora and it was WONDERFUL 💕💕

My girl is always the one complaining first but for once, it’s Nora who beat her to it 😭😭

I never thought I’d see the day when someone else would say their complaints out loud and it would be AMALIA OF ALL PEOPLE to try to look at the positives of the situation!

No matter how many times I keep analyzing how these two behave around each other throughout these two episodes, my heart keeps fluttering cuz I see NO FLAWS WHATSOEVER IT’S PERFECT ‼️‼️💖💖💖

Just look at how Amalia keeps being the one supporting Nora and snapping her awake from her panic attacks!

You’d usually think the ones who’d help her often with her problems would be Yugo, Qilby, and even Adamaï, her actual BROTHERS, or even her own mother but NO!!! It’s AMALIA!!!

Amalia saw how Nora looked super out of it during the battle and decided to go to her and snap her from her trance AND EVEN HELD HER SHOULDER OMG ARE U FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!?

But you’re gonna tell me: “chillax dummy, she only did that cuz it was the right thing to do. Yugo was busy supporting Adamaï and Qilby’s just being a dick.”

Oh yeah?

Well I reject ur premise.

Amalia is such a good girlfriend that she KEEPS BEING BY NORA’S SIDE EVEN AFTER SHE CALMED DOWN.

Ankama could’ve made Joris support her instead since he was free but nope! It HAD to be Amalia 💕💕

Just look at how my girl keeps holding her from behind and making sure she’s alright.

Keep in mind that Amalia has no idea what’s going on with Nora. This is the second legitimate time she sees Nora like this (since Nora also had one of those moments back in the Sadida kingdom) and Amalia does not know if her frozen state usually happens when she sees something that triggers her or if this is just something that Nora gets from time to time.

Whatever Amalia may be thinking about this, it doesn’t change the fact that she’s the only one in the group who realized her peculiar case and did something to help her.

Not only is this character development for Amalia, but it also shows how she caught Nora’s odd behavior much more quickly than the others. And it only took two times for her to see it to do anything about it.

LOOK SHE’S STILL HOLDING NORA ‼️‼️‼️

Are you seeing this shit⁉️⁉️⁉️

How the hell am I the only one addressing Amalia’s care for Nora???

And Nora just lets her!

Even after her little panic attack ended, she still lets Amalia touch her back for support!

This is honestly such a cute detail and I love how the small noramalia moments are treated like this 💖

When you really think about it, the relationship could work, especially for Nora’s part.

Nora’s family is especially messy and chaotic. Her mother is too traumatized by the necromes to do anything about her situation or even ask her how she’s feeling. She didn’t even have an alone talk with Nora to properly talk about how she was feeling. I bet that even when Nora had managed to save the Eliatrope goddess and got to be alone for some time, not even once did the Eliatrope goddess ask her anything cuz Nora was too busy consolidating her mother while internally freaking out for her brother.

Yugo and Qilby are just fighting with each other while Adamaï stays on the sidelines and doesn’t try to get closer to his mother, preferring to put some distance between him and her.

So who’s left to talk about her troubles or to let out her frustrations and misery?

Amalia.

The only person who attempted to help and noticed she had something off.

The only person who, despite not being family or even a divinity, attempted to do anything about her case.

The only person who stayed next to her and placed her hand behind her back even when she stopped freaking out.

Amalia would be a good person Nora could choose to go to for her problems.

It’s clear to see Nora had no room to breathe or place herself first at any moment that we got to see her. Her mother and her brothers are taking too much space and they don’t seem to realize how much she’s got to lose despite the evidence plastered right in front of their faces. Even when Nora explains to them how she managed to find their mother and how Efrim had to sacrifice himself in the process, she gets absolutely no words of consolidation from her brothers or her mother.

Instead, she just gets looks of sympathy from Yugo and Adamaï but it’s clear that they don’t seem to be sad about Nora being stuck in her dofus but rather because she lost her brother. For a primordial eliatrope to understand that their dofus won’t hatch because their sibling got infected means that they’re aware they can predict their time of “death”, ending their continuous cycle and rebirth that was supposed to last for eternity. Since the eliatrope council cannot die and constantly come back to life, this could technically be considered their actual death.

Upon knowing that Nora knows this however, the Eliatrope goddess simply says :

What kind of answer is that?!

Her mother is basically implying that there’s no hope for Nora but at the same time is saying that she loves her??

She does realize that her words feel empty now that she told her she couldn’t let that happen again right?? She’s basically indirectly saying that Nora is a lost cause.

It's clear to see that Nora has much more to lose than her other family members.

She’s the only one who lost her brother for good and will likely not get reborn in her next life with him because she’ll be stuck in her dofus forever. To be able to get reborn over and over again but not be able to anymore because your brother froze the cycle is a fate worse than death. She’s the only one who’s hiding her sadness and pain to give space for her mother because she thinks her problems are way less important than what’s currently going on. She’s the only one having panic attacks and thinks she’s seeing her brother everywhere. She’s the only suspect who is likely the reason why the portal to the necrome world is even there and is very likely the sick eliatrope.

So to have Amalia do this small and kind gesture for Nora made my heart warm up at the fact that she IS worried for her and is still holding her up after she had her little struggle.

Their relationship doesn’t even need to be romantic. Just as long as I get to see Amalia be by Nora’s side for anything, I’d be happy.

Cuz to be real with you, I’m starting to get annoyed that her family doesn’t seem to understand the level of severity of Nora’s case.

If Amalia noticed Nora was having a panic attack, then she could notice her struggles hidden inside her if Nora confided in her. (this also means her family should be able to clearly see it but since they’re not doing anything about it, they shouldn’t be an option for Nora to go to).

And that’s what I would like to see.

A moment like this where Nora can properly rely on someone who isn’t her family.

But for a romantic relationship, I can definitely see it too lol

Amalia’s usually the one speaking her thoughts so shamelessly but Nora might as well take her place and be a boss ass bitch while Amalia’s the more caring side and supports Nora and hears her troubles.

That can be a good dynamic to see. We only saw a glimpse of it when Nora was complaining about the rulers of the world. So it’d be nice to see these two talking to each other again like this.

[happypanda101]

How Sakura’s Love Interest Ruined Her Character Development

Alright. I promise this is the last Sakura related content I’ll do for a while. But after seeing several other people on here talk about about this subject, I thought it would be interesting to discuss. This isn’t gonna be a full on analysis, rather my thoughts as someone who loves Sakura and was disappointed to see how her character was handled in canon.

I think a lot of the fandom can be agree that Sakura’s biggest flaw was her love for Sasuke. Love is typically supposed to be a character’s strength, but unfortunately for our pink cherry blossom, it’s her weakness. And her downfall.

Now, I’ve already made it clear what my feelings on SasuSaku are. I like the pairing, they could have been better developed and aren’t nearly terrible as people claim they are. However, it would be ignorant of me to not acknowledge that canon Sasusaku is… kinda shitty.

Don’t get my wrong, they have their cute moments in blank period, like Sasuke asking Sakura to wear the clan crest, but things start going downhill when they get married and the plot of Burrito rolls around. Sakura is left to be a single mother while Sasuke is off god knows where for that stupid space alien/ “remains of Kaguya” whatever plot. Sasuke never writes to check up on his family, it’s implied that Sarada doesn’t remember him at all or what he looks like, and Sakura is left there trying to assure her poor daughter that Sasuke is doing this because he loves them. But when Sasuke comes back, he rarely acknowledges or wants to spend time with them at all. Not to mention, he seems to care more about Naruto’s kid than his own. Naruto suffers from this problem as well, but that’s a discussion for another time.

For the canon endgame, Kishimoto certainly doesn’t write any of his characters being happy in their relationships.

Anyway, Sakura and her character development. It may not have been grand as her teammates, but it was still there. Sakura went from a naive girl that was obsessed with boys and her looks to someone who acknowledged that she had to work harder if she wanted to help and protect those she cared for. She went from disliking and envying Naruto to someone who was willing to throw her ninja career away so her friend could follow his dream. She wanted to help Naruto to bring Sasuke back, but realized she wasn’t strong enough, so she went to Tsuande for help and become a damn good medical ninja as a result. She became more confident in herself and was always there to support her friends. She never needed an epic fight or a tramatic backstory, I would say her development was pretty great.

But then all of that gets thrown away whenever Sasuke comes into the picture. Sakura may be able to stand up for others, but never does she stand up for herself when it comes to Sasuke. When he belittles her in the War Arc for simply asking him what was going on, she gets all quiet and sad. Defeated. Worst part is that Naruto can’t even stand up for her properly.

The kunoichi who broke off Kaguya’s horn and aided in sealing her, therefore saving the world, is left a begging, whimpering mess for Sasuke to come back to her, to come back to team 7. And what does she get in return? A genjustu of him killing her.

And just when you think oh this has to finally get her to realize that she can do so much better than him, or at least get her to step back and reevaluate her feelings, let her spend time away from him, it’s just forgotten about! Forget traumatizing and hurting her, it’s okay because Sasuke apologized and now she wants to go with him. Don’t get me wrong, I do think that was a genuine apology, but the fact that she was just expected to forgive him at the snap of a finger was infuriating. And down right sad.

It doesn’t help that nobody else comments on it, or tells Sakura “hey, what he did was pretty shitty, you didn’t deserve that.” Or stand up for her at all. Kakashi kinda did, but it was so weak.

In Naruto, a woman’s role is to support the men, because what else are they good for? And if they ever move on from a guy they like, they’re a “terrible person,” in Kishimoto’s words. Whatever improved or developed Sakura’s character, it reverted backwards or was simply forgotten for Sasuke. Because Sakura loves him, she can never disagree or argue or fight with him, because that would make her a bad person.

Sakura had the potential to become one of the greatest heroines in anime, but that was all thrown away becasue of her misogynistic creator and his idiotic editors. She deserved better, every female character in Naruto deserved better, and burrito should have never happened because it’s an abomination to the Naruto franchise.

[dalekofchaos]

The first What if scenarios.

Context

So I had a thought. What if in the timeline where William lives, instead of more suffering porn for Chloe, it's Max's parents who die in a car accident. With no relatives listed, The Prices take Max in as their legal guardians. Chloe does the best she can to help Max heal, but Max is still traumatized. Chloe retains her free spirit and positive energy, Max becomes a a goth, with a penchant for taking pictures. Like Lydia Deetz.

Losing her parents makes Max more withdrawn, while Chloe is there to help build Max up and help her throughout her mourning, just like she knows Max would be there for her if something happened to William. Since Chloe is technically Max's step-sister, there would be no Pricefield. But there would be potential for Marshfield and Amberprice.

Karen decides to stay for the kids, at least until Daniel graduates. Because Karen stays, she plays zombie with Daniel, avoiding Brett ruining everything and avoiding the Seattle incident.

Joyce finally chooses to be a mother for her daughter and stands up to David's abuse. What I mean is instead of only siding against David because Max said so. Maybe in episode 3, Max and Chloe talk about William, Chloe and eventually David. Max doesn't understand how they got together or how she can put up with David's treatment of Chloe. Joyce defends it like in episode 2, but a sudden crack in her voice. You can properly convince Joyce that David’s mistreatment of Chloe is wrong was wrong. Then David returns and David's blinded by rage and snaps at Chloe right in front of Joyce and Joyce has had it and finally stands up for Chloe by kicking him out. Joyce then hugs Chloe and apologizes for taking his side for all these years and Joyce realizing that she made a mistake and that all they really needed was each other

Always bothered me that Joyce only begins to side against David by Max's word. She might as well have screamed that Max was the golden child. Joyce spent literal years watching David treating Chloe like crap right in front of her, and even now that he’s raising his hand at her she’s not reacting, but the second he talks a little too harshly to Max, she jumps to take her side and honestly. Chloe cannot not have noticed that. Obviously she wasn’t going to start a scene about this since they were already all fighting with David, but I’m pretty sure she would’ve under different circumstances because. The audacity. I would’ve gone mad.

Gabe as the villain

Alternate Max

Lying to Rachel about the truth leads to Rachel being found alive. In LIS1 Chloe says her parents don’t believe she’s missing. So my suggestion is they give up on her if you choose to tell her the truth. But if you lie, then it leads to a search/manhunt lead by James to find Rachel and it results in Chloe, James and David finding Rachel alive and arresting Jefferson, Frank and Nathan

Frank and Damon are dead. Sera leaves. Chloe finds herself in the criminal underworld. She's had to deal with Damon's loyalists, many turned to be loyal to her. But those loyal to Damon tried to screw her over. Chloe killed them. She's in too deep now.

Chloe has gotten accustomed to a life of crime and the new drug kingpin of Arcadia Bay and Rachel is her partner in crime. At some point, Nathan is encroaching on her territory and she doesn’t like that. Not. One. Bit. So, Chloe sends Rachel to entice Nathan and lure him in a trap. Chloe busts into Nathan’s dorm and sees enough evidence that she could make it look like an accidental overdose. “Don’t mess with the Prescotts? More like don’t fuck with the Price” Chloe gets a reputation as the Raven and whatever the Raven says goes. “Quote the Raven, Nevermore”

Sean and Daniel clear their names

Inspired by these alternate endings

After learning of Safi's very clearly evil plan and instead of given the choice, she wakes up. If you chose Bae, Max wakes up in Chloe's arms. Chloe comforts Max. "Have a bad dream, Supermax?" "Not just bad, it was dumb." Max sees she and Chloe are in New York. Max's entries in New York have been framed in a Gallery and they are living large and they resemble their LIS 2 selves, meanwhile Chloe runs a Tattoo parlor and a garage on the side. They got their happy ending. If you chose the Bay, she wakes up in Warren's arms and sees they graduated Blackwell and UO, living their lives as a Photojournalist and successful Chemist and they are on their way to Arcadia Bay to pay their respects to Chloe. All is well.

[magmagpie]

Day 7: AU or Headcannon

Trigger Warning for talk of kidnapping and similar topics(don't judge me, I'm an edgy bitch)

((All/most of this information is in my Octonauts book on Wattpad))

I headcannon that pirates used to frequent Antarctica to steal penguin eggs. They would hatch them on their ship, then sell them off. To who, I dunno, but whatever ones didn't hatch, they would cook and eat them. Kwazii was born into one of the crews/families that did this, but he never liked it. He always tried to reason with the adults, but we all know how that usually goes.

Peso was stolen as an egg by Kwazii's crew, when Kwazii was about a year old. He hatched on their ship(he was also a premature chick but that's not important) and Kwazii helped all of the chicks escape into the water. He didn't know that penguin chicks can't swim, but it's okay, he was just a kitten. Peso and the rest of the chicks did know, but trying to make it back home was a better option than staying and going through with whatever the pirates wanted. Unfortunately, only Peso and two other chicks survived the swim home, and he's been traumatized by the experience ever since.

When he joined the Octonauts, and he "met" Kwazii, he almost turned around and swam all the way back home. But a big reason he was even joining this team was to overcome his fears and put some of his anxiety aside for once and just have a good time and help people. So he stayed, and over time, the fear went away. It took a while, but within a year of being his teammate, he started thinking of him as his best friend. That is how they view each other to this day. They don't know, however, that they've met once before, until Calico Jack has been introduced and the three of them have a small chat about the whole thing.

When he was more properly introduced to Calico Jack, he already knew he wasn't like the pirates that used to do that stuff, but he still shivered a little when they made eye contact. Overall, his fear of pirates had faded a lot by that point, but, as anyone who's had to 'get over' a traumatizing event will tell you, it's not always that simple. Kwazii is very obviously a soft heart, and he just wants to help as many people as he can, and he would die for his friends. Calico Jack is like that too, but it's not very upfront compared to his rugged pirate-ness. At least, not upfront enough for Peso to just bat an eye at his being a pirate like he's come to do for Kwazii. Not yet, anyway.

Captain Barnacles is the only one who knows about all of this. As the Captain, he knows the general history of everyone in his crew, career-wise. Peso confided in him about his fear of pirates and Kwazii pretty early on, like almost immediately, both because he's just that clearly a trustworthy person, and because keeping it a secret from him would have put unnecessary strain on the whole team and risked the downfall of their teamwork if he didn't. Barnacles being Barnacles, he tried to help them become friends, but stayed out of their way enough to let them work through it on their own.

[itsnothingofinterest]

Listen, but out of the entire trio of villains and their heroes, only the child version of Shoto did not look at Touya. Where their child versions are together, Shoto is looking down instead of at Touya. This gives me the feeling that Touya hasn't and never had a hero (by analogy with Toga and Shigaraki - a hero who would see them as a human and a traumatized child and would like to help, not just stop or defeat).

I'm very interested to know your opinion. Do you think it matters that only the child version of Shoto doesn't look at Touya (out of the whole villain-his-hero trio)?

Hmm. There certainly is something to be said about how, even now, his family still aren’t properly looking at Dabi in this way or that. And how that may signify he’s still not properly saved; similar to how Toga was offered understanding but not relief of safety, so she wasn’t saved and felt it was better to die than face the heroes ideas' of justice.

This idea of not looking at their villain's true self is a problem faced specifically by the Todorokis tying to save Dabi. While Ochako largely understands why Toga’s done what she’s done and Deku…seems to want to learn what was already told to him; the Todorokis kind of demonstrated this bad habit of ignoring Touya’s wants and objections this whole arc. They finally addressed him; but with the exception of Rei, it was largely to tell him to cut it out & stop causing problems for others; maybe a pitiful ‘sorry’ that Endeavor couldn’t back up with actions. Shoto in particular felt to take a very business like approach to his brother; saying he understands his trauma but still considers him a murderer. There is a sense of wanting to save Touya; but unlike with Toga, it really felt like it took a major backseat to stopping/defeating him in this arc.

So I guess what I’m saying is; I totally see how this symbolism could be representative of the failings of the Todorokis in this arc. While I don’t think they’re unique in having an approach that was flawed at all (Some attempts were better than others but I wouldn’t say a single major villain has been saved yet); the continued lack of looking at Touya for Touya & for Touya's feelings might be the main flaw to the Todoroki's attempts. (Again; excluding Rei, who for her small roll did great.)

(Although the ironic thing is, everyone else in the family besides Shoto did get an imagine spot of looking at child Touya. Although he's weirdly tall and still in Dabi's jacket. Maybe the symbolism there is that they still see him mainly as a villain, with Touya's old childlike wants they can't see as equals? Thus Dabi's shown as a baby faced adult while they're still aged, as opposed to Deku & Ochako see themselves as children alongside their villains in their imagine spots. Like; they don't see his origins, they just see him as childish...maybe. I don't know I'm just throwing symbolism readings out there now.)

[catbountry]

Kill. Murder. Rape. Suicide. Pedophile. Nazi. Hitler. Covid. Dead. Death.

When's the last time you watched a YouTube video or a TikTok video where some or even all of these words were censored, either by being bleeped out like what used to be reserved solely for swear words, or having sound-alike stand-ins (sewer slide, PDF File) or euphemisms (unalive)?

I'm not sure exactly where "unalive" came from, but I want to say it was in a similar batch of Roblox screencaps of children trying to creatively get past wordfilters by telling people to "go commit die." And I guess Fortnite played a role as well. Apparently "game-end" is attributed to a short film covered by Pyrocynical which was made to be family friendly, but I swear I have this memory of official Epic Games promo material using the term and I don't know if this real or not. I don't play Fortnite and I never will, so this was not considered important enough to really properly commit it to memory.

EDIT: It came from a Spider-man cartoon where Deadpool used it in an incredibly in-character way. Thanks, Guy I'm Going to Reference Later in this Post.

It's an incredibly childish word. It seems like it was one that used to be used ironically until TikTok, being owned by a Chinese company where censorship laws are much stricter than here in the U.S., decided that words like "dead" and "death" and even "hole" were too dangerous of something, causing users to start getting creative and adapting these absurd euphemisms and they became so popular that people started using it who weren't even using it as a cheeky way to get around these word filters, on other sites that didn't have these same restrictions.

YouTubers can say the word "death" and "die" and (usually) don't have to worry about demonitization. The self-censoring that I remember starting on this very website, done as a way to either prevent posts being found through search or possibly offending the most sensitive of followers, is now being used by users to get around the restrictions set by giant faceless corporations to protect The Children, whose parents are giving them unrestricted access to the internet at younger and younger ages. I watched a video from an adult YouTuber crying about Newgrounds-style animations that were on YouTube about My Little Pony and about how traumatized he was by these, while also insisting he had good parents.

Good parents would not have let you have unrestricted access to 2012 YouTube unsupervised at age seven. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I gotta be the one to tell you this. I'm sure your parents are very nice people, but they could have easily used the internet to find out what kind of stuff was available on the internet. That was an oversight.

I was an adult on the internet in 2012. If I saw a parent just sit their toddler in front of YouTube, I would have asked them what the hell was wrong with them. Now, I see my cousin's children with their iPads watching videos of a faceless person playing with Paw Patrol figures, and I feel uneasy, but a little more hesitant to say something since my cousin seems well aware of the kind of place the internet is, and is always nearby when his kids are watching things. The internet was a constant presence for me in middle and high school, in the late 90's to early 2000's, and I saw some shit I should not have seen. But the trade-off was that I had a space where I could express myself openly, a place my mom didn't care about and wouldn't see. I clicked things I know I shouldn't have because I was a dumb, curious kid, and my mom was happy to not have to deal with me and have me be quiet, I guess. And my cousin is only a year older than I am, so I imagine our experiences on the early internet weren't that much different, considering he's also a bit of a nerd.

So this YouTuber aims his ire at the animators, who were making animations for other adult fans of the show (which he acknowledges), for daring to make edgy content of something made for children, holding up this children's media as a sort of sacred cow. For comparison, in middle and high school I was watching crude animations of frogs in blenders, stick figures bashing each other's heads into walls, and torture simulators featuring anyone from Pikachu and Elmo to Osama bin Laden. But because kids like him, kids brought up in the age of web 2.0, found these videos and watched them before their age had hit double-digits, those videos got lots of views from other children. And from that, we got Elsagate and Finger Family, videos that are still around but have mutated from featuring Elsa and Spider-man to now featuring Huggy Wuggy from Poppy's Playtime, or Pomni from The Amazing Digital Circus or Bluey from, uh, Bluey. These aren't edgy animations made for and by teenagers and young adults for a laugh, they're videos presumably made by teams of adults to mass produce and fill with as much shocking, click-baity content that doesn't even require being able to understand English to understand the plot, all to get watch-time to make money. There's no artistic merit to it. It's neither satire, nor is it an earnest expression of love for the source material, the latter of which, whether you like it or not, is where most rule 34 falls. No, these videos have only ever been content slop since this started around 2016. And this shit is still happening.

That same YouTuber has made a video about how we need to stop saying "unalive," which is part of what inspired me to post this at all, and I can't help but feel like this dude takes himself way too goddamn seriously, frowning upon "commit toaster bath" and "late term fetus deletus," which my edgelord, former 4channer millennial brain finds funny (it is too late for me, lads). This dude is in his early 20's and it's really interesting seeing someone discover pretty much things I've known since I was his age, but acting like they're these huge revelations. Like yeah, I've known about media influence on culture since I was in middle school, because of the internet, which was new and unrestricted by the Standards and Practices that shackled old media like radio and television. That used to be something that pretty much everybody on the internet was aware of; it's the reason why we came here in the first place. And you are right that giant corporations are censoring people, but also, the internet being corralled into a small handful of websites makes internet culture more homogenized and disposable. People can still meet life-long friends through the internet, but the sites where I first met some of my best friends are digital ghost towns, if they still exist at all, or they've become overrun with users infected by political brainworms that make them have incredibly strong opinions on a one-off promotional video done by Budweiser with a transgender TikTok influencer. You've got better luck making life-long friends through playing in the same Minecraft server together than you do being mutuals on Instagram or Twitter. And while Discord is the closest thing I've been able to find that replicates the feeling of both forum culture and chatrooms of the past, it's got its own set of problems unique to it. I can just say "Discord kitten" and most people who use Discord will know exactly what I mean.

Whoever decided to stop teaching kids about how to be safe online should probably be shot. Facebook made putting your whole-ass name and face and location on the internet not just normal, but people will find you suspicious if you choose not to do that. God, I fucking hate Facebook so much.

He's right, though, about the social contagion effect of language. This was a concern for me on this website a decade ago, but that was all social pressure. There was no corporate mandate cracking down on people, making them type "st*pid" to get around restrictions. That was all moral peacocking, baby. People did that shit to themselves.

Tumblr nowadays feels more sane, just because those of us left after the porn ban got a couple of years to grow up and chill out. But because of the porn ban, we can only really talk about the effects of it and complain, rather than be able to post our smut openly. Human sexuality expresses itself in some genuinely weird ways; I should know, and you should probably donate to Archive of Our Own to make sure there's a space where these things can be expressed without fear of censorship to protect The Children. But "unalive" is a symptom of a much larger problem, which is to sand off all the edges of the internet to make it marketable; the free market is more than happy to cater to the whims of the CCCP if they think it can make them more money. There's a lot of people in China, after all. The internet has more people on it but they're confined to much smaller spaces. Children don't have their own spaces online, and when they do, they're not as carefully moderated, instead opting for either overworked humans overseas, or dumb robots that just filter certain words and just become an obstacle to maneuver around to tell something to kill themselves with the creativity of someone who's at a sixth-grade reading level. People in their 20's are uncomfortable with nudity and sex scenes in films, perhaps under the assumption that it's always exploitation, that these scenes can't have artistic merit and are solely there to titillate, and given the sort of dumbing down of art thanks to Marvel and Disney, this seems like the only natural result when combined with the trauma of finding things online that you shouldn't have at way too young of an age. I do not like where this is going, and it's really saying something that those brought up in a sex-negative, American puritanical mindset only start paying attention when the censorship is affecting how we talk about death, something we have absolutely no problem with glorifying in our culture.

And if you're wondering why I wrote yet another long-ass essay bemoaning the slow death of internet culture and the Weenie Hut Jr's-fication of younger generations, well, it's because of this screenshot from 4chan.

Now if only they could bully out the tradcaths.

[major-knighton]

Tonight, I was browsing through @gallusrostromegalus' Family Lore tag having a great time, when I got a phone call to announce the birth of my baby cousin, my first ever female cousin (I have six of those), and it reminded me that I, too, have a Weird Family Story that some people might be entertained by. So, this is the story of

How my birth solved a 7 decades old mystery

First, the setting of our story's first part. Rural Picardy, France, 1940s. War has just stopped, the Germans and Americans alike have left, but things are still A Mess. Lots of buildings and crops destroyed by bombings, everyone is poor and traumatized and lots of people have just disappeared. Still, life goes on.

My great grandmother, who in my mind will always be my beloved Mémé, is a young woman of 18 or so, works in a broom-making factory and lives in a tiny village at the foot of an old castle. She is also pregnant.

But wait, that's not a problem, a strapping young man of 20 wants to marry her, he's also a factory worker, and more importantly he's a delightful man and wonderful cook. Mémé is a sensible girl, she's very charmed and soon wedding bells are a-clanging.

Here's the catch : the baby she's pregnant with is not her husband's. This is not public information in the slightest, so the couple can live their life without scandal, but it's a sort of hushed up semi-secret within the family. Who is the actual father of the baby? Nobody knows. Maybe Mémé does, it's even likely because everyone in the village knows each other, but if she does, she doesn't tell. Doesn't talk about it, and those in the know know better than to ask.

I sincerely hope it was a sort of one-night-stand and not something more sordid, but that's something we'll never know.

Anywho. Mémé and Pépé have a very happy marriage, and go on to have another child, and they raise the half-siblings as full siblings, never treating the eldest any different. Pépé loves his daughter even if she's not his blood, and she returns it fiercely. As far as my Grandma is concerned, Pépé was her true father, the one who mattered.

Skip forward in time. My Grandma has four daughters, who of course know Pépé as their grandfather without question even after learning The Secret after adulthood. Blood is thicker than water but not as thick as the blackberry jam that Pépé made while you played in the pond during the summer holidays. The youngest of Grandma's four daughters is about to give birth to her first child, and Mémé and Pépé are delighted to welcome a fifth great-grandchild.

Traditionally, a birth is a moment of joy and happiness. I'm sure mine was too, but it was also rather chaotic, as my first action was to karate-kick my mother in the stomach to herald my imminent arrival, therefore making her spill her recently eaten pasta on my dad's shoes. My triumphant entry into this world did not stop there, as my poor beleaguered mother was told, right after delivering a baby of nearly 4kg, that this massive chunk of flesh and screams had Something Wrong With It. Not the best thing to hear after giving birth.

The Something Wrong, as it turned out, was a specific type of hip dysplasia. That means that my hips were not properly finished forming around my femurs to lock my legs to the rest of my body. A slightly too enthusiastic pediatrician demonstrated this by pulling on one of my pudgy little baby legs to show that it would go as far as the stretching of my muscles and skin would allow. My mom, lifelong rugby player nicknamed McGuyver by her friends and toughest person I know, proceeded to burst into tears.

Other than being a sure way to traumatize young mothers, hip dysplasia is not an irreversible problem. Several weeks of wearing solid diapers that were a bit more like a plaster cast than an article of clothing, my bones were set with nothing more than a slight crookedness that would result in mild scoliosis. I learned to walk and sit straight perfectly well, and all was well.

Except.

The pediatrician with very little tact remarked, in passing, how this specific variation of hip dysplasia is particularly common in Brittany, but not so much in our region. Bizarre, thought my mother, we have no Breton relatives or ancestry. But some weeks later, while she was watching baby me wiggle around making a lot of noise, she remembered that in the family village, there had been a family of Bretons.

To be fair, seeing as we had no contact with that family, and I was only told about all this after Pépé and Mémé's passing, we'll never have absolute utter certainty that Unkown Breton Man is the biological source of our very extensive family. But it seems hella likely.

I don't mind the uncertainty very much. I know who my great grandfather was : a very funny old man who kept pigeons, cooked like magic and flipped the table after losing at Scrabble to amuse his many grandchildren and great grandchildren, DNA or no DNA. I keep a picture of him, black and white, marching on strike with a cigarette in his mouth and a béret on his head. My eldest cousin is named after Pépé's father. He's the real family.

But knowing the history of dysplasia in the family is useful. Tonight, Pépé's first great great grandchild is born. Without dysplasia, but the doctors knew to look for signs of it in advance. So, I'm glad to welcome this little one. I'll sit her in my lap in a few years, and tell her how her great great grandparents loved each other deeply from 20 to 90.

[rosetheocto]

Hey! Hope you're doing well.

Firstly, really like your voice for Chi, I can tell why @gnomey22 mentioned it! Secondly, I was wondering if you'd be up for sharing any Failtopia headcanons?

AAAA hello!! and ty for the compliments on the voice! I love sharing the headcanons I have for this series so much, I tried to think of ones for these guys that haven’t really spread around all too much, most of this is a mix of silly and serious lol

headcanons under the cut :0

part of the reason why C!Failboat wasn’t considering the darker implications of having 15/16 year olds getting traumatized in his party until probably after his Wake Up Call is because of what he went through with his family when he was that age. it’s not an excuse, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he kinda internalized/normalized what he went through when he was younger and convinced himself that It’ll Be Fine for these guys to be going through The Horrors since he’s still alive and well after everything (he’s not having a good time)

Simple Bob DESPISES Mar, even after the timeskip and S2. Since Mar has been possessing Hank all this time, that means he’s the one who was responsible for Punnyatta’s death. Bob is never gonna let that go for as long as he lives (also Post Game Isn’t Real HE IS NOT UGLY)

Big Bill has a HUGE birth family, like you go back to their pond or whatever and it’s just a whole flock of ducks just chilling there. they aren’t even built like Bill, they’re just regular normal ducks lmaoo

Orion and Mrs. Oopsie knew each other since high school, and spent most of their time breaking the rules and getting in detention (you gotta pry the idea of a younger Orion being a troublemaker out of my cold dead hands) also they absolutely won prom king/queen together lol

Friend is around 1000 years old when S2 happens, and yes they’re immortal change my mind

Chat is the only one that can properly see Void. why this is? only they know

Chat also listens to BENJIxScarlett and similar… ‘songwriters’ somewhat often. they would 100% jam out to that slop let’s be real

Mar always had somewhat of a feeling that Lee and Hank were the same entity, yknow being in control of his body for decades and all, but tried to brush it off and assumed he was imagining things (huge mistake lmaoo)

Shrimp likes to occasionally invite other members of The Incident onto her livestreams after S2, (she let Chat in once. never again.) No matter who it is though the chaos that ensues during these streams will never not be entertaining

Erica and Bo’s relationship 100% reminded Orion of him and his wife’s when they were younger (Mrs. Oopsie was def a vampire before she got sent to Dr Pepper Hell trust me bro)

S2 Dark Curse is Dr. SHOOK!!! (this is canon trust me)

Chi has helped on stage effects for Shrimp’s concerts alongside Bill surprisingly often. Lanc has also chipped in occasionally, but it’s mainly Chi and Bill that do the heavy lifting

Mar has kept a good amount of his Dark Curse powers in S2, but he unfortunately had his strength reduced by Kazoo Man enough to where he can’t just snatch the faces back from the Mystery Curse on his own

I promise I have WAY MORE (for both seasons) I’m just tired and my brain is fried lol, again tysm for the ask!! :D