#are you still yourself? were you ever?
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What a blessing to meet someone like you With eyes as dead as mine, it's fine It's normal people things just to lie here in silence
Fanart of Changeling Timmy from @cubbihue's AU, please check it out if you haven't seen it already!
#are you still yourself? were you ever?#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop wanda#fop cosmo#fop peri#itty bitties#art#digital art#fanart#why is water so difficult to draw#I really like ur au#I refresh your blog a concerning number of times per day
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Detectives at the Disco (Elysium)
#disco elysium#kim kitsuragi#harry du bois#“Hail holy queen of the sea -- You're whirling in rags -- You're vast and you're sad.”#I have been taken back by the disco fever and I wanted to draw these guys now that I can...y'know...draw.#I owe a lot to DE honestly.#If it were not for yagrandmapeach's daily disco elysium comics this blog would have never existed.#The idea that I could do lighthearted daily doodles made art feel possible and approachable. That fun was most important!#I was so inspired by their fun style and goofs! I loved the pen on paper look and their stylizations!#I'm still really inspired by them to this day! Peach if you're out there (unlikely)...Thank you for all the art you have shared.#To those who are considering giving DE a try: please be aware of it's many content warnings.#It is dark but also so extremely full of hope and love!!!#it's a murder mystery where you think you're supposed to be finding the culprit but you end up finding....yourself.#Also it has Kim Kitsuragi. The best companion you will ever have in a video game.#And it lets you dress up a stinky old man in whatever clothes he finds lying around. It's great.
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back on the topic of eddie brock never being the first choice. crazy to me to think about the origin of the venom symbol which is that the symbiote Was With Spiderman First. the venom symbol is a slightly creepier version of the spiderman symbol with an extra bend in the legs cause it's the symbiote's best approximation of what it thought spiderman wanted. and when spiderman rejects the symbiote and venom shows up it's still the same suit just on a different person. the symbiote learned emotions from peter parker and it is angry and hurt at not being wanted but it stays in the form it thought he wanted... peter parker disarms eddie brock once by telling the symbiote that he wants it back and attacking once the symbiote starts to leave... eddie has such a hard time throughout the comics with the fact that the symbiote Will Leave Him if prompted by the right person. and be so honest. what would you do if you were eddie brock and no matter where you went or what you did there was a symbol that you were somebody else's second choice emblazoned across your chest
#drives me crazy actually#this thing completes you it is everything to you...#the most important thing!!! the thing that makes you whole!!!!!!#and sure it may love you but you were only ever a convenience. never the person it would Choose.#thank you venom: first host for being a beautiful world where the symbiote says it will NOT go back with a previous host#cause it chose eddie. cause he's a good man. cause it's trying to raise its fucking kid with him kdfgjhsd.#EVERYWHERE else...#the symbiote is still in love with peter parker. he calls it back and back it goes.#flash thompson calls out and the symbiote desperately reaches toward him calling out his name. trying to go back.#and again and again where is eddie brock... secondary...#not even the first decision to begin with. maybe it was fate that you were in the right place at the right time#but maybe you were just in that church. about to kill yourself. and you Happened to hate the right person.#you and the symbiote complete each other and you have similar goals but even then it was all about peter parker anyway...#insane. insane. insane.#anyway. hhhhhhhhhh#venomposting#venom#i am a symbrock truther i think the symbiote WOULD choose him. but the comic writers hate me and hate love
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THE EX-MORNING SERIES CONCEPT
By now I think many people have heard that KristSingto’s upcoming series is an original script that was written for them. What we also have confirmed is that it was written about them.
[source]
KRIST: This series was written by P'Backaof and directed by P'Lit where they created this script from the start deliberately for the two of us and they got information for the characters etc. from KristSingto directly. In the series, the name for P'Sing is Tamtawan, and my name is Phatapi. And Tamtawan Tamtawan and Phatapi are KristSingto themselves.
INTERVIEWER: Does that mean you play yourself?
KRIST: [laughing] Yes, we act as ourselves, so it's not difficult at all.
Today, Aof elaborated on his part on Twitter:
[source: @backaof]
[translation: @_beinglistener]
And Jojo added:
[source: @jojotichakorn]
[translation: @_beinglistener]
So, two gay men are the leading creative minds behind KristSingto’s comeback series. Time to study up on your KristSingto history, kids. \:D/
Long live sanctioned RPF. 🎉
#krist perawat#singto prachaya#kristsingto#the ex morning#i’ve already seen the same tired ‘guess rent was due’ about krist and#i see on twitter when people link my thread about krist to people still insisting he’s homophobic#man’s rich#he works constantly#he even said it’s something he regrets now that his grandmother who raised him passed away#he worked so much he didn’t have as much time for his family—who he helps support#he is quite literally considered bl royalty#he has more queer people in his circle than straight#waa (gay) is his mentor#aof (gay) wrote this series and jojo (gay) thought up the concept so even professionally he's supported by queer people#you don’t have to like him#and you don’t have to admit to sending death threats to a stranger who doesn’t speak your language based on rumors you didn’t verify#just y’know#admit quietly to yourself alone in your head that you were wrong and you caused harm to a person who didn’t deserve it#plenty of actors use bl as a stepping stone to bigger jobs#he’s not one of them#he wanted to do bl for years but gmmtv told him he could only work with singto#so literally the only reason kit didn’t do bl until BMF was scheduling issues because singto wanted to study abroad#and singto couldn’t get a fixed date for it and then the pandemic messed with his plans even more#i’m glad to see more and more people are understanding who krist is recently#and even in the series they made pathapi’s controversy an impulsive act of anger#krist has said he used to struggle with being hotheaded#and one of his apologies for the igs was even something like ‘i acted without thinking of how it would look out of context’#he just wanted people to stop harassing him for his sexuality but the context isn’t in the igs#anyway my go-to when i’m too tired to talk about this is always this#if he had ever been homophobic thai people would be the ones leading the charge against him…but it’s interfans
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I am honestly partial to the idea of Darth Plagueis' being Qimir's Sith Master─although I could understand that had it been confirmed in an interview instead of revealed in the show itself, that could be disappointing─It doesn't worsen, or better Qimir's chance of survival. Plagueis is going to crash in on their [ Osha and Qimir ] party either way, seeing as they are all on the same planet, and he has interest in the concept of life created by the Force.
Qimir is evidently a practitioner of Darth Bane's teachings, even if loosely so, seeing he recites the Sith code to Mae. He lives beneath a cortosis mine in an unknown planet, which I could only assume is a callback/reference to Darth Tenebrous' ( Plagueis' master ) who owned a claim of cortosis in a planet named Bal'demnic in the EU. Plagueis having a former apprentice before Palpatine doesn't ruin anything important either. Nor do I think it contradicts any of Qimir's unorthodox-sith characterization, or my earlier reading of such.
If Qimir is the apprentice of Plagueis; it would re-contextualize his want for an acolyte somewhat, I suppose. But there is poetry in that in the rejection from the mother, he ran into the teeth of the beast to feel held, and even in that, he didn't find absolution. So naturally, he'll seek another path.
#the acolyte#oshamir#qimir#star wars#meta?#theory#more so#''why is qimir looking for the power of two if he already has plagueis?'' have you ever considered that maybe plagueis' vibes were Rancid?#also that is the way of the sith to take on an acolyte while being an apprentice yourself to try and overthrow your master#but *hand waves* i personally don't think it's that simple#but the idea of this has me thinking of the kylo motif retrospectively#and if it doesn't have anything to do with the knights of ren#which i still think it does because qimir and how he feels for osha isn't cut out for the sith life#but it makes me think the relationship he has with plagueis could possibly parallel the one shared between snoke and ben#which also parallels the relationship between anakin and palpatine#time is a flat circle and you will see your face reflected in many people#anyway when qimir has his throne room moment >>>>>#plagueis doesn't die but.....
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I know I have a habit of always keeping things to myself… But why am I still surprised when people don’t know what I know?
#This applies to so many things in my life#this is so incredibly unhealthy#toxic even#yet i can’t help but keep doing it#and now my friends too#those who said the loudest ‘you have to talk to us if we did something you’re not comfortable with so we can come to terms’#turned out to be bottling the hugest amount of distraught then explode without warning#now everything is in pieces#and there’s nothing that could be mended anymore#thought we had something special you know#then why… why can you sabotage everything so quick and run away so fast#why you do this to us?#what were we to you?#You hurt us all and even yourself with your ego saying we don’t have to care about you#but what were we if not friends?#why?#please I can’t continue like this#I desperately aware that things will never be the same and I can never see you as the same friend I’ve known for years#but I still refuse to believe this is really happening#it’s like sand#the more I hold it the harder I clenched my hand they would still eventually fall through my fingers gaps#are we not friends?#why? Why you did it?#You said nothing and yet expect everyone to know how you feel and to sympathize with you and your reasons#I mean we could#we totally could if you just let us know just the tiniest hint you know?#so why things turned out this way?#where has the years gone?#will I ever stop grieving the past if things keep turning out like this?#what does the future hold anyway and where’s my motivation to grasp it?
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This is such a tangent btw but on the topic of guilt tripping and reblogs... I remember a few years back there were some terrible fires in Greece (and again this year, entire island villages are gone now) and at that time I had family who were caught in them. I can't describe the desperation I felt with these horrible things happening to my family and loved ones in my country. And I remember being frustrated and desperate with how no one around me in America really seemed to give a shit. I remember blogging asking people to PLEASE care please share something please reblog this link for mutual aid please think about the stories and fires etc etc etc. And the thing is I was very much in a state of grief myself, maybe not every word or action was perfectly reasonable, because I don't realistically expect everyone everywhere to care about every tragedy in the world. You can't. Emotionally it's just not possible, especially with all the stuff going on in the states rn too. Yeah it's a lot. It's not like I blog about every tragedy that ever happens either. I understand.
HOWEVER what I also remember was at this time there were a couple mutuals very clearly making vagueposts along the lines of "remember not everyone has the energy to care about everything in the world uwu" while I was posting about family who died and family who were drifting in the ocean for hours as their homes and loved ones burned. Listen. You have to understand sometimes that when a person in grief and frustration with things going on in their countries and communities impacts them very personally beg you to care... It's coming from a place of needing to see that care in the world in general. They're not holding a gun to your head Specifically saying you have to reblog the posts, if you don't have the energy just ignore it.
You don't have to go out of your way saying "um actually I can't care about the horrible stuff you and your family and your country are experiencing rn. I'm too busy focusing on my own stuff so can you be quiet or more reasonable with your grief thanks." Like. Just keep it to yourself then??? Have some fucking sympathy for other people and understand that maybe it's not always logical. The same way you don't have the emotional energy to think about every tragedy in the world, people who've been impacted by them often don't have the emotional energy to handle that alone and may seek somekinda community or solidarity. Idk. It's not about forcing shit on you sometimes it's not about you
#part of me thinks the 'we don't have time to care about everything all the time' has set us back a bit because it gets used as an excuse#bc most of the time no one is like asking you to become a hardcore advocate for every cause ever they're just saying like#hey reblog this donation post. and like I'm going to be real how much possible emotional energy is that really taking from you#compared to the actual activism the statement was meant for and such. like come on#surely less than complaining about people having the gull to ask you to give a shit right?#you can still have sympathy for multiple things without necessarily devoting a lot of your energy to said things you know?#doesn't mean you have to surround yourself with them to become the perfect most progressive activist or whatever#but you can like. idk. express sympathy or condolences in passing every now and then. like people normally do. idk#instead of being like 'how dare you ask me to care! there's issues in my own country i have to blog about!' are you for fucking real#but yeah enough time has passed that i can think more rationally about this and now know that that was a careless response#exactly the type of people you were afraid of being the representatives of the worlds apathy in your greif etc#but there are also people who do care is the thing#and obviously for the record I'm not mutuals w the former anymore bc like Christ
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art of the duel
#roller coasters#cedar point#maverick#intamin#mine*#still one of the most fun seasons i had with the ride. and no its not because i was the TL for the first half. it was because of 2/4#may 2/4 rest in peace. But 2/6 isnt so bad either. hopefully next years leadership cares about it as much as we did#we were so close to one million :') so damn close. downtime beloathed#(2/4 2/6 are interval numbers. the op manually sends the second train and if you do it right then the photo of the trains like that happens#(it is an art form to master and get comfortable with the ride) (etc)#i could go on forever but i wont here#just know. if you ever thought to yourself at cepo this year#wow! i cant beleive they can do that again!#it was mainly because of me#:')
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I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...
Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner
*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)
And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -
TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows
This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).
So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.
Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.
Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.
Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).
But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).
In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.
Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.
Now, doing the same thing for movies-
Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)
That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).
116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.
So, a for broader summary stuff..
I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.
If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.
ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.
I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0
#maybe this is my version of spotify wrapped lol.. Lifetime Media Google Doc Wrapped.. kind of.. except I'm not going over specific titles.#I can't do this with music since I rarely EVER look for new music or add to my Youtube To MP3 folder library as I just don't really#listen to music that often. When I'm working (the majority of when I seek background noise) I need like.. people's talking voices#for some reason. Just instruments and singing are not distracting enough to me to work as background noise because theyre#almost TOO in the background if that makes sense? like if I put music on then I just tune it out and it's virtually no different#than if I were daydreaming stream of consciousness thoughts in an entirely quiet room lol. And I can't really do it with books since#essentially 100% of what I read is non-fiction. usually about some specific subject or academic topic OR stuff like#1800s magazines or cookbooks or historical people's diaries. Which is not really.. the type of thing I would#rank as easily I guess? like 'ooh yeah putting the sociology textbook in my top 5 hee hee right next to the 1920s radio recipes book' lol.#Then for games... I just sadly dont play enough of them. I've been banned from new games as I've told myself I cant play anyting#long form (no rpgs or etc) until I actually finish MY OWN game first - to keep me from wasting time. so on average#I play... 0 new games a year. ToT... I do play the sims sometimes but that's really all (which is not a new game at all since#I've been playing it on and off for years). Thus I guess movies/TV are really the only things that make sense#to collect this sort of information on. I could do youtube videos I guess also but that seems kind of strange like...#giving a rating to every single video I watch in a ranked list lol.. Especially since I would say a good 85% of the time#they are exclusively background noise whilst I'm working on something or cleaning the house or etc. and not things I pay serious attention#to. There are only a few specific topics/types/creators of videos I watch where I'm ACTUALLY sitting in front of a screen paying#direct attention to the content (usually when it's educational or political things). Everything else is too mindless to even rank.#ANYWAY... ever analyzing my little hermit Weird Relationship To Media (in the sense of seemingly not processing or getting the same#things out of it as many other seem to). I think that can contribute sometimes to the whole difficulty socializing and stuff#since our culture is very centered around media consumption generally speaking. People want to talk about The New Movie that came#out or The Big TV Show Of The Year. and for me it's like.. highly likely I just plain have NOT seen it. Or if i have. statistically#I most likely was entirely ambivalent if not slightly negative towards it lol. Which just kind of takes the steam out of a 'fun' 'casual'#conversation and you seem like a bit of a bummer if most of your only feedback is either 'idk what that is' or 'oh yea... i did#see that one.... i didnt like it all that much though... I think it'd be better with elves in it.. and 7 hours longer..'' lol..#Which I am not disliking things in a 'grr i hate it bc its popular'/just to be contrarian way. I actually dislike that mindset/find it#silly (by striving so hard to be counterculture you are thus still defining yourself by the whims of external culture - just in the#opposite direction. but are still just as preoccupied with the mainstream (going against it) as everyone else. etc. lol..)) In my#case I think it IS just having niche hyperspecific tastes.. for example- it peeves me when cell phones are in media bc I dont want to be#reminded at ALL of the real world. so.. cross off anything set in modern times. so on & etc. Judging all things by these weird criteria lol
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I feel like the folks who are like 'yeah but queer has been an actual slur whereas gay and homosexual have not' should maybe learn some queer history.
They were both considered such slurs for such a long time that university papers couldn't use them, because they were too derogatory. They had to say 'men who have sex with other men' because gay and homosexual were too derogatory, too much of a *clears throat* slur if you will, to put them in academic papers as anything other than hate speech.
I beg. Please learn some queer history. No word for us has ever not been a slur against us. We reclaim. We move on.
#personal#queer culture#queer history#like you don't have to use a term for yourself#but there is no 'yeah but this one is an *actual* slur'#the only difference there is what *you* were called vs. other people#and trust me#people got bashed and put to death for their oppressed sexualities and gender/s without the word queer ever being shouted at them#and instead it was the words you choose to use now#and find more 'acceptable'#they've all been slurs at some point#gay is considered a slur by dictionary and wiktionary and wikipedia standards#and is still in the list of LGBT slurs#(homosexual has been removed)#anyway#use the words you want#but know your history too
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what is going on w my brain
#huge tag rant coming but dw about it#basically. if anyone here has known me on the internet for long enough yous will have gathered that i badly struggle w motivation and#fulfilling goals that i set for myself even if it's for smth i enjoy eg languages#it happens so often but especially over summer where my brain just goes Nope#“i have all this free time to do the thing I've been planning for weeks and i've been so excited about planning but now we have the time i#will be numb and sad and scroll“#i also have huge problems focusing unless every factor is perfectly balanced and even then it's still 50/50#i do have a bad attention span from being chronically online but even if you put me in a blank room w my task i'd be distracted by thoughts#external deadlines are some of the only things that can kick me into gear and i've been fine at uni so far#but i'm scared i'll have another a levels situation where my mental health was so awful i missed every essay deadline for french for 2 years#sometimes by up to a month#the only reason i got away w it is because i had a breakdown in front of my teacher and he was like “yeah take care of yourself the essays#are not that deep just get them in first thing after half term ig“#like that was v kind of him but if i ever have a situation that bad again i will genuinely fail uni cus you can't get away w that#where was i going w this (<- is aware of the irony)#right yeah this week i've experienced the epic highs and lows#highs of really enjoying my downtime and putting active effort into my hobbies instead of my downtime being “scrolling but i don't hate it”#but lows of realising how much time i 'wasted' in my teen years feeling sad and scrolling when i could have been developing skills and#having fun#and yeah i'm having a high rn and genuinely enjoying life but it's making me realise that my default state of being is just 😐#like even when i'm at uni where my mental health is so much better than at home when it's just me home alone or in my room i'm just 😐#not really having fun just existing v passively mindlessly scrolling waiting for the day to be over so i can see my friends in the morning#like not every day has to be amazing but surely there's more to life than just 😐 in 99% of your downtime#like i've struggled for years on how to answer “what do you do in your free time” cus i had to search for answers#i read and go on walks. which is true. but they were always things i did as phone breaks during weekends and not something i actively did#because i liked them#and because of past mental health issues reading and sports based hobbies have become tainted for me#i'm working on it but yeah#huge tldr. i'm finally starting to accept that i probably have a combo of undiagnosed mental illness and neurodivergence#because if it's taken me this long to realise how much it truly impacts my enjoyment of life then surely that's smth
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Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?
#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind#fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once#god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit#oughhhhh#even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio#which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed#now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable#and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame#features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral#and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP#even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh#not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk#if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me#and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired#unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more#why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers#there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place#and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things.#maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either#I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time#but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy#it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care.#I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife
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not to reblog that one jo post but i am special hihi
#also you cant have deep friendships without being hurt sometimes#bc you are still connecting to other people(not yourself)and you will care for each other and need each other differently at times#bc you still live different lives and those thing then affect you differently#and you just won't meet each others needs all of the time#and its that feeling of love and hurt but as long as that hurt isnt like caused on purpose#or on sheer lack of care for you as a person#i dont know#my best friendships were the ones that made me feel all the range of my emotions#and i never regret coming back to them#and that is also why i never regretted (okay lies there was this one time but still mostly) cutting them off if i felt the need#and i dont think they ever regretted coming back to me when i wasnt the perfect friend#(which btw i hate ya novels so much for this bc id see friendships and always be jealous of how good friends some people were#and how they always knew to say the right thing and how i would want to be that kind of friend even tho those were written planned people)#but anyways i was gloating this is my gloating post lol#0 notes to me#this is so silly also pls dont take my friendship experience too seriously like i am not a looking up to person haha
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Listen to me.
You cannot hate yourself into becoming a better you.
#listen i’m all about self-improvement but you can’t be your own enemy#you’re worth more than the sum of the things you wish were different#if you’ve accomplished absolutely nothing in your life you’re still worth the same#and if your worth is constant then harming yourself can only ever be wrong#yeah i’m still getting pro-eating disorder stuff on my fyp because i reblogged that one post#so i’m still stewing about it. we really failed a whole new generation of kids.
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don't think I'll ever be over how the media completely lambasted jeremy corbyn and misrepresented him in every possible way. the man was saying that the nhs needed to be properly funded and the media was acting like he was sacrificing children. he appealed to young people and this support got treated like a cult or like a hysterical ignorant movement. bc how dare young people not want to be in insane student debt and unable to afford a home. remember when they photoshopped him to look more russian and soviet? absolutely crazy shit but with all that he still won a higher percentage of the vote than starmer
#and starmer got such an easy time of it in the media. and they'll still be like 'corbyn was a failure' lmao.#and liberals will act like youre crazy if you call the media biased. will pure act like youre some conspiracy theorist#i was there i saw and heard the bbc's reporting and it was the least impartial thing i'd ever watched in my life#am reading an article about how the word populist just gets used against anybody the 'elite' doesn't like#and it's true. and it makes it harder to tackle actual fascists and racists like trump and farage bc they get lumped in with people like#sanders and corbyn. and then by this association with populism sanders and corbyn are tainted#as a 16 year old i said to a friend 'i don't get why populism is so bad if its the rule of the people'#and it's a little more complex than that but i saw how the media/establishment was using this word to discredit people w/out having any#actual argument. and i was right.#anyway jeremy corbyn 🌹 best pm the uk never had#like ppl were shocked that there was such a strong base of support for him. and i didn't realise it at the time but i think it was shock#that particular groups were so invested in politics. and that they had the AUDACITY to support anyone who wasn't a centre right liberal#tony blair wrote that populism is a threat to democracy. and like...i would laugh if that didn't piss me off so much#hand yourself into the hague tony and stop lecturing people because they don't support your neoliberal nightmare anymore
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at the end of my fucking rope with "conversations" about k12 chronic absenteeism.
#sorry. work rant#next time you read a headline about it think to yourself. why is it schools' job to get kids to come to school.#why do schools have to bend over backward to cater to kids#kids not wanting to go to school is an extremely common occurrence#the difference now is that the responsibility is being shifted off kids and parents and onto schools#i get that schools can do better i really do#i think there is a shared responsibility#but there is a profound belief across society that school is not important and does not matter#and that needs to be addressed too#i'd say 99% of the examples i hear of systemic school problems are actually just examples of individual bad actors#again. schools have issued that need to be addressed! the public school system has profound inequities!#but when the only problems you point out are 'a kid was mean to my kid' or 'a teacher wasn't as nice as they could be'#you're not interested in changing the system#you're interested in changing your kid's experience#and guess what. demonizing school staff sure isn't going to fix anything#at this point I don't see myself ever going back to teaching#you know who will go into teaching? people who don't give a shit.#and that's not going to help anything either.#you can't attract people who care when people who care are punished and chased out#imagine if instead of constantly bringing up the worst possible examples and insisting they are representative of everyone#the good examples were celebrated and rewarded#same thing happens with the medical profession btw#and again. lots of legitimate examples of harm#(i'm fat ffs i know this)#and also I think it's dangerous to have people delegitimizing medicine to the point that crystals are seen as just as valid as a doctor#sorry. separate rant.#but still. delegitimizing professions that require knowledge skill and training is how we get thousands of unqualified people#homeschooling their kids and treating them with herbs they got from their local Etsy witch
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