#are we queuing all day is that even allowed there is it actually necessary

[tirednotflirting]

very strange mix of many different anxieties going into this week. have a headache and stomachache. this is fine.

[autisticchicc]

Unstructured Autism Rant

A/N: For COVID reasons, mask is purely metaphorical in this piece, not an actual face mask, the work scenario was something that happened pre-COVID.

Trigger Warnings: In-depth descriptions of autism-related struggles and meltdowns.

Disclaimer: This is my personal experience with autism, that is not to say that this is the experience of every person with ASD.

“Have I solved your issue today?” I ask the customer on the other end of the phone. I have; I don’t know why I’m asking this. The customer confirms I have, and I wish them goodbye, a good day, and thank you for calling the business. I don’t care if they have a good day, and I why on earth would I thank them for calling us? The entire interaction went on for far too long for my liking thanks to small talk and the customer pushing pointless information about themselves onto me. He told me he was sketching by the riverside, but why do I need to know about that? How do I respond to a piece of information that does nothing to or for me? Upon hanging up, I breathe a sigh of relief. The mask slips off my face slightly as I rub my temples.  

The relief is short-lived, as one of my co-workers comes over to my desk to talk about something. I take a deep breath and pull the mask back on properly before forcing myself to engage enthusiastically in this conversation. I don’t know this co-worker that well, I know nothing about how she talks, her personality, or her humour, only that I have a huge margin for error in this conversation. I concentrate intensely, trying desperately to make sense of her rapidly changing facial expressions and knowing when it’s my turn to talk. After interjecting at the wrong time on several occasions, I give up and just respond meekly when there’s an obvious gap. I feel embarrassed and awkward, and when she walks away, I kick myself. Why is it so hard to have a simple conversation? I’ve yet to make any friends at this job, and I don’t think I ever will at this rate.

I swivel back to face my two screens and lament the lack of a blue light filter on this software. My eyes ache, and the dog (yeah, don’t ask) on the upper level of the open plan office keeps barking. The occasional trilling of a phone irritates me more than usual as the late afternoon sun glares through the floor to ceiling windows at my photosensitive eyes. I can’t close the blinds because my co-workers love the sun, but I’m rapidly approaching a meltdown thanks to overstimulation, exhaustion, and following vague instructions all day. It feels as though every piece of sensory stimuli is stabbing at my eyes and ears. At the end of my shift I clock out and leave without saying goodbye to anyone. I don’t know them well enough to feel comfortable going out of my way to say anything in the first place.

Upon exiting the building, I cover my ears with my big headphones, the relief that washes over me is immense. All those invasive sounds are gone now, and I can listen to whatever I want. I still feel on edge, still teetering close to a meltdown, so I choose not to worsen it by listening to something that would fuel my anger. Sometimes it’s necessary, sometimes I desperately need to hear the pained screams of Pete Steele, the aggressive guitars and lyrics of Body Count. But today, I need something that isn’t going to give me the encouragement to punch the first person that triggers my rage.

For me, music is transformative and transportive. When I listen to particular songs with noise-cancelling headphones, it’s allows me to go somewhere in my imagination while my body moves to my real destination on autopilot. I decide on an uplifting song by The Knocks and Big Boi, Big Bills. It’s a song that makes me feel like a character in a movie that has just moved to a new city and is pursuing an exciting new life. To an extent that’s sort of true for me, minus the excitement and plot armour. Either way, it’s an uplifting song for me. So much so in fact, that I listen to it on repeat all the way home. If something interrupts the song, like an announcement on the tube or having to pause it, I have to restart it or it’s not the same.

When I eventually arrive home, the transformation happens. The moment my bedroom door closes, and I turn my headphones off, it begins. The outcome of this transformation can be vastly different depending on how my day went. It might be that it was a successful day socially, so I leave my phone out of sight and silently bury myself in a hobby for hours in order to recharge. It might be that the mask comes off and I begin to scream and sob, breaking anything I can to stop myself from self-injuring, burying the heels of my hands into my eyes to block any light. The transformation varies, but it is always the result of the same thing: suppressing who I am.

Much of being autistic and being forced to operate in a society catered to neurotypical people, for me, is suppressing my natural instincts and behaviour. Even when I have a positive day socially, it’s often contingent on how well I assimilated with other neurotypical people in that particular interaction. This is frustrating because not only am I exhausted because hardly anyone accommodates for me, I am also measuring the success of my day on other peoples’ standards. Many of my interpersonal relationships also operated that way until fairly recently, I was forced to behave and communicate the way that other people expected me to rather than what felt natural to me. There is only so many places and so much time I can maintain this act for, and so I was forced to simply cut those friendships off. I am no longer willing to negotiate my needs with people that clearly don’t like me enough to respect my disorder.

The friends I keep are mindful, lovers of the eccentric, embracing that which is different and persecuted for it. Often times I find that the people closest to me also have parts of their identity that mean they must also wear a mask of sorts when moving through society, be it racist society, patriarchal society, or queerphobic society. Our arms interlink on the fringes of an abstract hierarchy, turning away from the status quo and pursuing a life in truth and diversity. One day I’d love for everyone to be able to live authentically, for discrimination, isms and phobias to fade away into the past. I don’t see it happening in my lifetime, or perhaps ever, but I hope it does eventually.

In an ideal world, I would only interact with those aforementioned friends and no one else, but as we’ve established, that is not the world we live in. The reality is, I almost never get to interact with people who accommodate for me. I deal with people touching me without permission which makes my skin crawl, forcing me to take my headphones off when I’m fending off a meltdown, managers who don’t give me the specific step-by-step instructions I need, classmates who don’t understand that I don’t talk because I’m too shy, not because I’m unfriendly, lecturers that forget I can’t operate well in group work and can’t be in classrooms with harsh, fluorescent lights… The list is endless. Even going to the shop is a struggle, because the employees have no way to know. Although Tesco’s have been considerate and ‘progressive’* enough to introduce sunflower lanyards (https://www.tesco.com/help/invisibledisability/), most stores have absolutely no assistance in place for customers with hidden disabilities. I just have to hope that they don’t speak to me and that I don’t end up getting overwhelmed and having to ask anyone for help.

In a lot of ways, this pandemic has meant that I can avoid quite a lot of the scenarios that would usually cause me stress. I no longer work (admittedly, this causes more stress than it relieves), I don’t have to attend class in person, there is little to no in-person socialising, family events are cancelled, seasonal holidays are cancelled, queuing and crowding is no longer allowed (without distancing), etc. That has all been excellent and a relief. But on the flip side, it has given rise to a whole host of new problems. I hate being on camera or speaking in online lessons, there is no way for me to remind the teacher subtly I can’t do group work, masks trigger heat-related meltdowns for me, the financial instability of being unemployed has been a huge stressor, and the lack of government support is utterly enraging. 

Overall, it’s been a huge adjustment. The job that I talked about my experience with at the beginning of this rant is long gone now, so many things have changed. I have never dealt well with change, but this year has forced me to. In some ways I suppose you could say this is a positive development, exposure therapy is best at times. I just wish it had been more on my terms and not at the hands of a viral pandemic. 

[aggresivelyfriendly]

Hi! I know I have other unfinished fic, but I’ve actually been writing a bit, and you can blame @the-well-rested-one! I have five chapters queued up and outline for several more, that’s a good sign! Please comment if you read, or reblog! Thank you to @nikibi6 and @emulateharry for the looksie!

The One Where Harry Styles Sneezed On Me

Day One

There's only three people out on the pavement ahead of her, and a part of Elise is tempted to tip toe because she watches too many movies.

The streets of London are quieter than Elise has seen them since she moved here. She'd basically never left her university classes and not been shoulder to shoulder with wall to wall people. Her classes were over at rush hour and there were a lot of people in London at any time of day. Had you asked her before the move, she would have said she liked big crowds. But now, the tube sometimes gave her anxiety, a brand new thing, because it was so packed.

Today, well London was like a ghost town, like the film where she'd fallen in love with the city and decided she would study abroad there. It was an odd one, but that sounded like her.

28 Days Later was a weird inspiration, but maybe because London was empty in the movie, she was able to see things about it better. It was also why she felt like she should be extra quiet on the nearly deserted streets, this was the closest approximation to her favorite movie scenes she'd probably ever see in one of the biggest cities in the world. Elise had never been to a big city, not really, the largest was maybe Phoenix. But it didn't really feel that much bigger than Tucson, where she grew up, or maybe it had just grown before her eyes so she hadn't noticed.

London was a proper big city as her roommate told her, and Elise hadn't made it for a semester abroad. She'd wound up here for her post graduate work, she couldn't afford it during undergrad. The living expenses, turns out, were too expensive, but she'd found a way later, because there was a will, a dream.

Her will for today had been to find her way after class to the next public green space on her list. She'd done Kensington Gardens, Hyde Park, and Regent's Park. She went after class when she could, if there was sunlight to catch. Today was so pretty, she had decided to go even if it meant catching the tube by herself at night. And then she had stepped out into a London eerily like the one from the movie that had first infatuated her. There were people on the street though, and they didn't look like the walking dead, just the walking afraid. Those who had braved the streets wore masks. One lady had gardening gloves on. Elise wasn't sure if she was underreacting or everybody else was over the top. She hadn't really thought about it, mostly because she was under 80, and well, honestly, maybe she did feel a little bit of the invincibility youth brings.

Apparently lots of Londoners didn't feel the same way. Including those who ran her Uni. She arrived with her notebooks and excited for her day plans, resolute, to find a sign on an easel in the entryway.

"Classes Cancelled today. Online classes will resume tomorrow. All formats will be conducted via Portal for three weeks, or until further notice."

Well, shit. Had they thought to send an email? It may have saved her the trip.

Elise looked at the 100,000 emails in her gmail and discovered they had indeed emailed her. This was why she avoided online courses, she was much better, learned better, in person. Also, she was abysmal at keeping up with things via email. The next few weeks would be a trial.

She'd have to figure it out, and she knew herself; A schedule was necessary, she'd write one down, on paper, to order her life while she had to finish these courses online. But that seemed to be her only coursework for this day.

That was a bright side. She took it as a silver lining, she could head to the old London Heath right away. She considered walking, plotted out her path and realized that it was a long, long way, so long it would steal all of her energy to explore.

The tube was really ghostly, like the ghost town they visited once, Calico or something?

Regardless, she was surprised she wasn't more excited. It was just like 28 Days Later. Well not really, no bloodthirsty, spattered lurchers, but it felt eerie. Like it had the first time she watched it, before she got totally immune to the plot and could only see the sights. She was thankful when a few people got on her carriage, though they sat as far from each other as the spacing allowed. She quickly looked up more information on her phone and estimated how far away the people should be, they were all separated by much more than that.

By the time she got to her destination, she'd normally be just getting out of her first class, and Elise's stomach reminded her that this was meal time. She really was married to a schedule, or at least her biology was. She thought a picnic would be lovely, so she looked up a market and found a Whole Foods nearby. She would splash out for her lunch it looked like, could be worse, could be Waitrose, and must be cheaper than a cafe, surely.

London was pricey. Which she'd known intellectually and was now experiencing literally everyday. As such, Elsie was kinda thinking she needed a job. Was she allowed to work? Maybe on campus. She'd have to ask the question to somebody who knew; she was running through her reserves.

Elise kinda sighed at herself as she walked into Whole Foods. Maybe this was not the best idea. But it was bright and cheery inside and smelled like green juice and roasted vegetables. Her stomach growled and she decided the worst that could happen was she would wind up eating cup o' noodles and have to pack a lunch a lot towards the end of semester before her next stipend.

Elsie shrugged and sang along a little to the song playing overhead. She felt like she rarely heard One Direction here, she heard it played out more in public in the US, and wondered if that was due to public exhaustion. She understood that it had been next level crazy here. Maybe it was just time? They'd been her favorite when she was in early high school. She had decided she was gonna marry Liam in eighth grade. That opinion changed as they all aged. She got too cool for them, and well, some of them grew up nicely. "Just how fast the night changes." She tried to harmonize along. The song also meant she wasn't hurrying she was, however, wandering.

Fruit, she should grab some fruits, that was always a good place to start.

How she wound up by the hot bar she didn't know, but she grabbed a bit of roast chicken and realized the layout was backwards to the one she was used to in Tucson. The metal spoon clanked as she got some potatoes that looked deliciously crunchy and had little burned ridges like she loved. She should have some vegetables. Carrots didn't count, real green things were needed. Asparagus counted. She was looking at the cut fruit, but then thought about her budget concerns and headed over to the produce section.

It was a little emptier than what she assumed was normal, a few ladies and a tall, lanky man in a hoodie and hat were the only people about. He was broad from the back, but had a furtive set to his shoulder that made him smaller. He was also standing exactly where she wanted to be. In front of the bananas, her favorite of the economical fruits. The best bunches clustered where he didn't seem to be doing anything but loitering.

Elise's belly growled, the aroma of her roasted chicken wafted up. She'd give it another minute and if he hadn't moved, she'd try to politely shoulder her way around him, 6 feet or not.

She gave it two minutes. By the end her converse was audible tapping. He still hadn't moved at all. So help her, if he was on his phone! It was time for action. She came up to about his shoulder, and he did not seem to notice there was 5 feet of impatience at his elbow, at least he certainly didn't move. When Elise realized he was on his phone, her patience snapped. That had to break some kind of grocery store etiquette. Was there grocery store etiquette? Certainly, it would extend to standing so people couldn't access foods when you were fucking around on your phone.

She reached past him, "sorry, excuse my reach." she hoped he could hear just how not sorry she was. Elise was good at passive-aggression.

She heard his breathing change and was ready to tell him he had just been blocking the bananas for three minutes, and she knew she wasnt being socially distant, but he was being rude, when he turned towards her. He was being rude, especially by English standards and she would tell him so, even if she wasn't sure if he was exactly impolite, accusing an Englishman of that was very effective.

She realized two things when he looked at her.

One- he was not some stranger- he was HARRY. FUCKING.STYLES!

And two- as his spit splattered all over her face, he wasn't about to call her rude, his gasp had been the beginning of a sneeze.

😷😷😷😷😷

The last hour had been an absolute blur. She had just sat down to eat. And though her 16 year old self would consider this an upgrade, her 23 year old self was really sad the heath was not the site of her lunch, even if it had been switched out for her teenage dream.

Because Harry Styles had started his litany of apologies with a "fuck!" Then a spilling ramble. "I'm so sorry, dammit, I knew I should have just sent somebody. Dammit, Jesus fuck, now you will have to be quarantined too." His hands were fumbling with the wet wipes and she could smell the disinfectant on them. She stopped him short before he was wiping that shit on her face and was redirecting his hand while he was still talking about how they could just both be holed up in his house. It distracted from the fact he was rubbing spittle off her shirt very close to her nipple.

"I mean, it's not huge. Damn, I kinda wish the new house was done. Then we wouldn't even have to see each other. Not that, I um, wouldn't want to see you, or like whatever, but um. We don't know each other and we'll be, like, living together for several weeks. I guess you could quarantine at your place. But I just feel better, cause it's my fault. Seems rude to possibly infect somebody due to negligence, and not like, help them through it. I just had to have my celery juice." That part was said under his breath, and he wasn't holding any juice.

She remembered the closed juice bar. The sign had read: Our fresh bars-juice, smoothie, and coffee are close due to Covid- 19 contagion worries. We apologize for any inconvenience.

Then it clicked, while she wiped his sputum from her face. That is what he was talking about. What the?

"Are you just wandering around whole foods infecting people? You have the virus?"

She realized she'd been talking really loud and attracting attention. Harry certainly realized.

He looked agitated and around to see if they had an audience, and she realized his face was a bit of a liability. That would be some headline for sure. "Harry Styles spreading coronavirus!" or some shit like that. He used to get press for existing, the memory made her soft for him.

"Let's get you checked out. And we can go back to my place and talk?" He made eye contact and she got confused for a second longer.

"What?" Elise found herself saying. She would normally never ever go home with some dude in a store. But, this dude was Harry Styles, and that made her feel simultaneously safer and also like this was a chance she had to take. She also wanted to yell at him a little.

He sighed, like she was a hard to open packet of chips. "Can you check out and meet me outside?" He looked around again and bit his lip because the women nearby were watching them. He handed her his basket and helped her transfer her things to it, "Can you grab my things too?" He didn't sound like she remembered him. But she supposed she'd not done more than listen to his albums once through after she'd grown out of her One Direction phase.

He sounded better. He was still growing up well.

"Huh?" She was not following him. He gave her that exasperated face and thinned his lips before he quickly got a hundred pound note out. "Check out and I'll meet you in my car. I'm near the front, all right?"

She barely remembered checking out. The girl had to prompt her twice, and she'd shoved the sanitizer at her when they'd both had to touch the change. She even considered keeping. Can you grab my things too, the audacity! But she handed it to him promptly and he put it away and sanitized his hands and gave her a squirt too. Chivalry in the time of Corona.

The drive had been quiet. Though she was sure there were things to do, to say, certainly. So the radio played and Harry sang along. It was a surreal moment, right out of her teenage dreams. Listening to Harry Styles sing in his expensive car. The missing piece that made it reality instead of fantasy was that she was not singing along, instead she was confused and hungry.

"Here, I'll warm up your lunch." Was the first thing he said to her as he ushered her into the square house she recognized from something on the internet years ago. It was a little cold inside and Elise fitted her sweater around her shoulders and sat at the wood grain kitchen table. Her food came to her steaming. Then a warm mug she immediately wrapped her hands around.

"You cold?" He asked while moving to a fancy looking blue screened rectangle on the wall. "I'm always cold, so I just wait until someone seems too cold to change anything."

She nodded.

"Right, so you know me?" He asked like it was taking out the garbage.

"Um," Elise took a drink. "Yeah, I was a huge One Direction fan in high school."

He smiled at that. "Ok, is that why you've gone silent? Freaking out?"

"Yeah, and also, I'm not really following. Honestly."

"Why don't you tell me a little about about what you think is going on. Then I'll fill in my side."

She took a breath. "Can I eat my lunch first?" She needed a minute, and she was beyond hungry, and annoyed. Definitely annoyed. And maybe just a touch of freaking out. Harry was her favorite for a lot longer than Liam, if she was honest.

"Oh! Yes, of course." He shook his head, "how rude of me."

That was why he felt rude? Not the bananas or irresponsible shopping trip. Elise widened her eyes at her carton before she dug in and didn't look up until the blender went.

A green smoothie, vibrant and lush, was placed at her elbow. It matched his eyes. "Here, to your health."

"Thank you." She took a sip and smiled. Her blood sugar was rising and she was already feeling considerably better, though her odd situation and figuring it out came to the forefront. "So, um, to my health hmmm?" She cheered the air.

Harry exhaled and nodded.

"To yours as well?"

"I suppose you could say that." He pulled his lip between his forefingers and she remembered that from interviews.

"You're not supposed to touch your face." She ah, ah, ahhed with a grin.

He laughed and it broke some of their tension. "I'm not. Neither are you."

Elise realized she had her chin in her hand. She slapped it lightly on the table and sat up. "Fair enough, so what am I doing here, Mr. Styles?"

He groaned lowly and she wondered what that was about. She didn't let it sidetrack her though, she'd wait out his response.

He took a big gulp of health and Elise watched the chunky residue slide down the glass.

"You've heard of Coronavirus, yes?"

She couldn't help but roll her eyes.

He chuckled, she hoped at himself, what the fuck kind of question was that?

"Right, pretty unavoidable, yeah?" He didn't need her to agree, he kept talking. "I travel a lot."

"Duh!" she interrupted.

At that he really did laugh. "So, I travel a lot, duh, and I flew on a flight where somebody tested positive. There aren't many tests yet, they're rationing them."

"Even for you?" She was surprised.

"Even for me," he sighed. "I'm just a person. Anyway, the person in question asked for a pic for his daughter—."

"Likely story."

"Perhaps, and so, we were in close proximity and we shook hands," she nodded along with the line of his narrative. "They won't test me unless I show symptoms. But quarantine was recommended."

He finished, he'd left out a part though.

"Is Whole Foods part of the quarantine radius?"

He blushed a little, and all of the reasons she'd had some of her earliest fantasies about him surfaced. "No, not as such. But I was low on bananas."

"Nobody you could pay a euro for your bunch of bananas?" She hoped for a laugh.

He squinted. "Course, but I don't like to be a bother."

She couldn't help but laugh at that. "So, in your effort to not inconvenience anyone for a couple hours, you've exposed me by sneezing in my face, rude, and kidnapping me to your house? So, now I have to quarantine too?"

"You aren't a kid. How could I nap you?" This was not a joke, but the humor of it was not escaping either of them.

"Not what that means, though I've no idea why." She shrugged.

"Young lady napped?" He tried.

"Oh god, you are sooo English. Young lady napped." She tried on his drawl.

"That was terrible!" He shook his head like he was offended.

"I thought it was pretty good?" She popped her shoulder and her own little dimple in her left cheek appeared, though it didn't pull the weight his did. He narrowed his eyes before raising up his eyebrows.

"It was alright, I suppose. We have time to perfect it."

"Why's that?" She found herself asking.

"Well, we're pretty much stuck together. How d'ya feel about two weeks at Le Hotel Styles?"

He couldn't be serious, could he?

[sunnydaisy1]

Break In

FRED WEASLEY X OC

A/N: I wrote this as a fred weasley x oc story because I find it easier to write with one of my own characters. My oc is Gemma Wood, Oliver Wood’s sister who is the same age as the Weasley twins. 

THIS IS SO LONGG WHATTTTT (srsly tho its insane)

Everyone had been on edge the whole day since the break in last night. I personally wasn’t too worried, knowing that the situation had been blown out of proportion by gossiping between the students. 

I was currently sitting in transfiguration watching McGonagall explain how to give a cup some hands and i was bored out of my mind. I didn’t see the point in learning this, it would never help me in life and it was such a waste of time. I looked to the clock in the room and sighed when i realised we still had twenty minutes left. I couldn’t wait for end of lesson when i could enjoy my evening before heading to dinner and then my oh so comfy duvet. A movement in the corner of my eye caught my attention and I saw Fred a few desks in front of me to the left putting his finger up to who i could only assume was lee and george sitting at the back. I shook my head at his rude gesture and continued to watch him converse animatedly with our best friends. He must have felt me watching because his freckled face turned to me and grinned, causing me to narrow my eyes at him. He winked at me and I blushed slightly, a small smile creeping out from my lips. Fred continued to watch me as he motioned to McGonagall and yawned making me giggle slightly. 

“Mr Weasley turn to the front please, stop distracting Miss Wood.” McGonagall suddenly said and i blushed but Fred just beamed and turned to the front, sending me a not so subtle wink. “Sorry Professor.” He said, making McGonagall shake her head. She often told myself, Lee and the twins to pay attention because we were too busy goofing off to each other so it was no change for her to see Fred watching me. 

The lesson continued and I sleepily watched the minutes tick by, occasionally glancing at the red-haired goof across the room. Without warning, a voice echoed throughout the classroom and Dumbledore’s voice rang out. “Once last class has finished all students are to go straight to the Great Hall for an announcement. Thankyou.” I looked around in confusion as did the rest of the class, what was the announcement for? 

McGonagall cleared her throat and brought our attention back to the front, “Settle down, we still have 6 minutes left of this lesson and I am not planning on wasting it.” A few students groaned and I looked back to george and lee who just shrugged, probably continuing to play noughts and crosses on their parchment. My eyes trained on Fred again and noticed he too was looking at me, I furrowed my eyebrows questioningly, signally my confusion. Fred nodded and shrugged slightly as well, mouthing, “break in?” I nodded, “maybe.” Katie Bell elbowed me from her seat next to me and I looked to the front to see McGonagall looking at me, her lips drawn into a thin line. I sunk down in my seat a little, not daring to look at Fred again, knowing he would be teasingly grinning at me. 

The lesson ended fairly quickly, all students hurriedly grabbing their books and heading for the door. I caught up with the twins and lee on the way out, “what do you think old dumbledore wants to talk to us about?” 

George shrugged, “dunno, maybe there’s been another break in.” Lee nodded in agreement and I looked up to Fred beside me. “Scared Freddie?” I teased, nudging him with my shoulder. “No chance.” He grinned, scooting past a few first years walking too slow. “Yeah right, you screamed yesterday when i put a worm down your shirt.” I jeered back and Fred frowned. “Just wasn’t expectin that one, thas all.” I shook my head, amused before heading to our favourite spot on the Gryffindor table. I plonked all my books down as Fred and Angelina sat either side of me. 

“Oy Ang, move up will you, Fred won’t move his fat arse.” I said and she obliged, allowing me to fit both legs under the table. “That’s no way to speak to your best friend young lady.” Fred replied and I rolled my eyes, “can’t help it when your bum is in the way.” He pushed me slightly and I pushed him back, almost causing him to fall off the bench. Fred grabbed my arms to steady himself, “nearly pushed me off their gem.” I sarcastically smiled at him, “oh what a shame.” 

Fred opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by Dumbledore’s loud voice grabbing our attention. “Quiet please!” At once all chatter died down and the hall was full of silence, anticipating Dumbledore’s words. “As I am sure you have all heard, there was a break in at Hogwarts last night.” A few whispers broke through the silence but was quickly stopped by fellow students. “Our school is guarded by the most advanced spells and enchantements so do not fear, you are perfectly safe. However, we have decided that to best supervise you, the first 4 years will be sleeping in the dungeons and the rest will be sleeping in here.” 

At once, uproar ripped throughout the hall, the change in sleeping area having caused immense uncertainty and confusion. “SILENCE!” Dumbledore yelled and once again, the room was deafingly quiet. “We understand that this sudden change is confusing but rest assured, you are in the safest hands possible. Now, if you could all please return to your common rooms and get changed into appropriate clothing. We will provide you with a mat and sleeping bag when you come down to your assigned area so bring whatever else you find necessary. By that i mean the essentials, not your whole dormitory. We expect you all down within 1 hour, further instructions will await once you arrive.” Dumbledore stepped back as the tables were each dismissed and i followed angelina and katie to our room. 

“Jeez they must actually be concerned.” Katie said as we gathered the stuff we needed for sleeping. “I reckon they just want to keep an eye out for people sneaking out past curfew.” Angie said as she rummaged for her pyjamas. “Yeah, can’t have anyone go missing.” I replied, finding my shorts. “Im gonna have a shower before heading down, you guys wanna come?” Katie asked and I nodded. “May as well.” Angie said and we gathered our bathroom things before walking to the girls showers. 

Once Angie had finished and I had plaited my hair, we walked out the bathrooms and back to our dorm to collect our stuff, bumping into the twins and Lee on their way back to their room. I felt my heart flutter as I brushed past Fred, his hair wet and dripping from the shower, his towel flung over one shoulder and white tshirt slightly wet. He beamed at me as we past and I blushed, trying to shake the image of him out my head. 

“Should we just grab our stuff and wait in the common room for a while, we still have 20 minutes until we have to be down and I don’t know about you but that hall is looking less appealing than it did an hour ago.” Katie spoke up and I nodded, gathering my pillows and stuff before following them down the steps. Fred was lying on the sofa, watching George and Lee wrestle. “Urm i think ill see you guys in there.” I said to Katie and Angie who smirked at me. “Okay we’ll save you a space.” I nodded and walked over to my red-haired best friend. I threw my stuff on the ground beside the sofa and clambered next to Fred’s lanky figure. 

“Oh hi Gem.” Fred said, moving up a little so i could lay beside him. I had wormed my way between his body and the back of the sofa, squidged with warmth. “You excited for our sleepover in the hall Freddie?” I asked and Fred nodded, a cheeky grin on his face. “Can’t wait to keep you ladies up all night dreaming about my gorgeous self only mere inches away from you.” I rolled my eyes but smiled, “more like having nightmares.” Fred pretended to be hurt and put a hand over his chest, “oh how you wound me Gemma.” 

I giggled and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, letting me rest my head on his sweater-clad chest. I closed my eyes and breathed in, enjoying his woody and sweet smell. Fred took one of the ends of my plaits in his hands and brushed it along my face, causing me to scrunch my nose. “Stop it that tickles.” Fred chuckled, contuining anyway. I rolled my eyes and sat up, allowing his head to fall back into my lap slightly. His ginger hair looked so tantalizing, messed up from his shower and still slightly damp. I reached out to touch it as Fred continued to watch his twin tackle Lee. He sighed as I ran my fingers through it, loving how soft it was. Fred looked so handsome, a grey sweater on his top, plaid pyjama bottoms and a content look on his freckled face. 

“Don’t fall asleep on me Freddie.” I said, poking his cheek, making him open his eyes back up. “Piss off, I was just enjoying you playing with my hair.” He replied and I blushed, making him grin smugly. We stayed like that for a bit longer until one of the prefects yelled for everyone to get down to the hall. We groaned but got up, Fred yawning and rubbing his face. I watched him dreamily until George waved his hand obnoxiously in front of my face. “Come on, stop drooling over my brother.” I blushed and shoved him, making him trip over slightly which made me chuckle. 

We soon reached the hall and queued up behind the rest of the upper school before we were directed to McGonagall. She narrowed her eyes at us and handed us each a sleeping bag. “No funny behaviour tonight you four, I don’t want to seperate you lot. Boys on that side, girls on that side.” Fred at once spoke up, “that’s not fair miss, we want to sleep next to Gemma.” McGonagall pursed her lips. “I appreciate your affection for Miss Wood but we have rules Mr Weasley and I’m sure she can survive one evening without your presence.” I grinned and elbowed Fred, “yeah Freddie bugger off for once.” The ginger boy next to me frowned and fake pouted. George and Lee cackled next to us but McGonagall’s face was getting paler by the second. “Enough of that, now head to bed before I give detention to you all.” 

She shooed us away and we headed to the 6th year area. I spotted Katie and Angelina sorting out their mats alongside Alicia, one of our quidditch friends. I turned to the three idiots beside me, “right you lot im heading to bed, ill see you in the morning.” Lee yawned, “Night Gem.” George followed suit but Fred stood grinning. “What do you want Freddie?” I asked, waving to the girls who beckoned me over. “Nothin gem.” I frowned and narrowed my eyes, “okay then goodnight.” Fred nodded and reached out for a hug. I rolled my eyes but gave in, a smile spreading over my cheeks when I wrapped my arms around his toned chest. “Night Gem.” 

I walked over to the girls area and excitedly squealed when I noticed Angie had snuck some sweets down. “Oh your a legend.” I said, lying my bag down on the mat layed out between the three girls. They had chosen the row closest to the walkway between the two sides of the hall. I grabbed a handful of Bertie Bott’s beans and climbed into my sleeping bag, leaving it unzipped. “Hope you don’t mind, we chose the row at the front cos we didn’t want people treading over us all night.” Alicia said and I nodded, “yeah good choice.” Katie handed me a chocolate frog and we sat chatting for 10 minutes while more students filed into the hall. 

A loud shout of my name above the chatter of the hall caught my attention and I looked up to see the twins and Lee grinning at me from across the room. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Katie chuckled and elbowed my side, “can never get away from them can you?” I laughed and nodded, “nope, they’re everywhere.” Angie and Alicia spotted them a second after, chuckling at George hopelessly tangled up in his sleeping bag. Fred waved at me, beaming and I sighed, turning slightly out of the circle we had formed to wave at him. He grinned even wider and I mouthed to him, “howd you get to the front?” Fred shrugged but pointed to Fin Parker behind him who I knew Fred sat near to in Divination. He mouthed, “we swapped.” I shook my head and smiled, turning back to the girl’s conversation. We chatted and scoffed our faces with sweets, discussing the latest gossip running through Hogwarts. 

I heard my name being called again, Fred shouting above the raucous of voices. “OY GEMMA!” I whipped round and frowned, making a questioning face at him. He mouthed, “come over here.” I shook my head and stuck my finger up at him, a wide grin on my face. Fred acted hurt and his jaw fell open, I turned once again back to the group, blush adorning my cheeks. I saw Angie looking at me knowingly while Alicia and Katie debated about which flavour bean was best. “So what’s going on between you and Fred then Gem?” She spoke up, instantly causing the two bickering girls to go silent and turn to me. I frowned and felt my face heat up, “urm what?” Katie smirked as she rummaged through the box of sweets. “He so fancies you Gemma.” 

I laughed at the absurd thought, “no way, we’re best friends!” Angie shook her head, “yeah but he still fancies the socks off of you.” I shook my head, “no he doesn’t.” Alicia joined in, munching on some liquorice, “yes he does. it’s so obvious.” I scoffed, thoughts racing through my mind about the not so subtle fact I had fancied Fred since second year. “You can deny it all you want but he does. He tries to impress you every lesson and he never stops pestering you.” Alicia continued. “Yeah but that’s cos we’re friends.” I replied, confusion clouding my mind. “He can’t keep his eyes off you Gem, like seriously he never stops staring at you.” I at once frowned, reaching for a liquorice snap. “No that’s crazy.” Katie laughed and nudged me, “he’s looking now.” I whipped my head round to see Fred sitting opposite George and Lee with a pack of cards in his hands watching me. He unashamedly grinned as I turned back round and blushed bright red. “See, it’s so obvious. In DADA the other day, Lupin had to move Fred because he wouldn’t stop looking at you.” I laughed, “no that’s cos he was messing around with Lee.” Angie shook her head. “Gemma, Fred fancies you and I know you fancy him too because you always blush when he’s around and you can’t say no to him.” 

I felt my face heat up and I sighed, “Yeah i like him but he doesn’t think of me that way.” Alicia grinned and handed Katie the last of the beans. “He does though, me and Angie heard him talking to George about it in the changing rooms once you had left.” I frowned and shook my head, “you guys are crazy. Fred Weasley does not fancy me.” 

An hour later, all students were in the hall and most of the teachers had left apart from McGonagall and Lupin. The ceiling had been changed to soft glowing candles that gave the room a soft glow and lots of students were settling down. McGonagall walked to the middle of the walkway between the boys and girls sides of the room and clapped twice for our attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, it is time to quieten down and go to sleep, you still have lessons tomorrow and I for one would not like to be kept up with incessant chit chat. I would like to remind you the toilets are on the first floor and Mr Filch will be patrolling along with the Prefects so do not try to sneak out. Boys are to stay on this side of the room and girls the other, if you do not obey these rules you shall face serious consequences. Goodnight everyone.” McGonagall walked down the room and out the door, her heels clicking along as Lupin followed behind her. 

Once the door had closed, students started chattering more and moving around, completely disregarding any of McGonagall’s prior warning. The girls and I were currently sitting in our sleeping bags, talking about the upcoming quidditch game when i saw a certain ginger sauntering across the room. “Helloo ladiess.” Fred said as he stopped in front of our mats, a cheeky smirk on his face. “Piss off Freddie, we’re talking.” I said and Fred grinned, “no can do Gem, i have come to enlighten you this evening with my fine presence.” I rolled my eyes and Angie laughed, shuffling her matt slightly away from mine. “If you’ve got food you can come and sit down.” She said, patting the space beside me. At once Fred put his hands in his pockets and pulled out a large amount of Honeyduke’s sweets. 

At that moment, the great hall’s immense doors opened and McGonagall stepped through, a rolled up piece of parchment in hand. She spotted a fourth year standing by the door and at once started scolding him. The older students who had risked sneaking to the other side scampered back to their own mats and Fred went to sneak back when a loud voice boomed across the hall. “FREDERICK WEASLEY!” Fred sheepishly turned around to see the green-clad professor storming her way down to him. “And what do you think you’re doing young man?” She asked, making Fred flinch. “Going to bed.” He answered, glancing at me quickly. I watched on smugly, amused at him getting scolded. “Damn right you are. Go back to your own mat please Mr Weasley.” Fred nodded and turned around to walk to the other side of the room as McGonagall walked away. When she had reached a few fifth year girls being particularly roudy, he whipped back to me, grabbed my sleeping bag and dragged me out across the room. 

I burst out laughing, my body being pulled towards Fred’s mat. This caught the furious woman’s attention and she snapped back to face us, walking angrily along the path. Fred hadn’t noticed and winked at me, continuing to drag me across the room. The piece of rolled parchment in McGonagalls hand came down on his head, Fred letting go of my bag to rub his head. “Mr Weasley do not drag Miss Wood across the room, behave yourself and go to sleep.” She turned to me, lying on the floor grinning. “Do not encourage him Miss Wood, he finds it a challenge as it is controlling himself around you.” I sat up, “Yes Ma’am.”  Fred was still standing there and McGonagall turned to him again, “SLEEP BOY!” Fred cowered and went to lie down on the floor next to me. I laughed and could see George and Lee absolutely wetting themselves. McGonagall instantly wacked Fred’s head again, “MR WEASLEY! Never have I seen such cheek, now stop trying to impress Miss Wood with your foolish antics and go sleep in that corner.” 

I walked back to my mat, watching as Fred trailed sheepishly behind McGonagall, now being scolded in the corner. I sat down on my mat and laughed as Fred cowered at McGonagall’s harsh words. He glanced at me frequently, causing McGonagall to wack him on the head again each time. 

Once she walked away, Fred lied down in the corner, and I got in my bag as she came over to me. “Miss Wood, do not make me give you the same punishment as Mr Weasley. Go to sleep and stop disturbing others.” I nodded and watched her walk out the room, shutting the door behind her. I lied down and Angie turned to me, “told you he fancied you.” I rolled my eyes but grinned, the thoughts of the cheeky red-haired boy across the room filling my mind. 

A/N: Lol that took forever. Its probably awful but oh well. Hope you enjoyed :)

[blueboxesandtrafficcones]

A Hallmark Secret

Day 4 of 2020′s 31 Days of Ficmas.  Thanks to @doctorroseprompts for the list!

Prompt: Holiday movies

Rating: G

Pairing: 12xRose AU; part of the Queen of Hearts universe

Summary: Even after seven months of marriage, Rose and Ian still have a lot to learn about each other.  A secret from Ian’s past brings back bad memories from Rose’s.

2020 31 Days of Ficmas masterlist  |  Queen of Hearts masterlist

AO3

---

Humming a vague Christmas tune to herself, Rose meandered her way through the palace hallways.  The decorations had started going up a few days earlier, and just that afternoon she’d overseen the last wreath being mounted in the ballroom, over the thrones.  The gigantic “official” tree in the foyer would have a ceremonial lighting ceremony the next evening, the one in the town square several days after, but the more reasonable-sized (but still large) one in their bedroom was already fully lit and decorated, giving the season a magical air none had had since she was a small child.

Without really planning it her feet followed her heart, and she ended up heading down the hallway where Ian’s public office was located.  She felt terrible for her poor husband; this was apparently a busy time of year, for nearly every night he’d have to return to work after dinner and an hour or so of relaxing with her.  She’d offered multiple times to help, to ease his burden, but he gently, kindly rebuffed her.

Approaching the door, she considered knocking – all she wanted was to help, to support him, considering how patient and supportive he’d been of her as she navigated her new life – and froze, as the distinctive peal of a woman’s laugh echoed through the door.

Oh, no.  Her heart dropped to her stomach, the previous decade vanishing and returning her to the stupid, prideful eighteen-year-old she’d been, so desperate to prove her mother (and Mickey) wrong that she’d put up with Jimmy Stone’s lying and cheating for longer than she cared to remember. No, no, no…

She stood frozen in the hallway, unable to make a decision – confront him, or run away?  I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation, her optimistic side encouraged, but the sinking feeling in her gut disagreed.  We’ve been here before, and it never ended well.

But Ian’s not Jimmy or Mickey, the optimism countered.  Ian is different – Ian is better.  That’s why we’re married.

Decision made, Rose took a deep breath for courage before moving forward, pushing the door open. She gave it more force than necessary, but didn’t wince as it banged against the wall, too focused on Ian’s guilty expression.  He was alone in the room, his laptop newly shut in front of him, and her stomach turned as he just stared at her.

“I heard laughter,” she said stiffly, fighting back the urge to start accusing, or shrieking – neither would help her now, not with him.  Not that they’d ever worked before.  “Meeting going well?”

Another flash of guilt made her stomach turn, before his brow furrowed.  “Wait, do you think-”

“I don’t know what I think,” Rose cut him off, “except that you’ve been lying to me.”

He watched her with a curious expression, before looking down at his laptop and sighing.  “All right, come here.”

She did, moving stiffly as he opened the lid, stopping at his side and glaring at the screen.  The image was generic Christmas, a tall decorated tree lit up with colorful lights, the dark night sky behind it. Then he clicked the screen and the image came to life, panning down and around to focus on a couple standing next to it.

“I’m sorry I made you doubt me,” Ian started, pausing the video again and rolling his chair back to make room for her, tugging her down onto his lap; she didn’t resist, but didn’t relent either, perching on his knee with her arms crossed, feeling vaguely guilty and somewhat silly, though the fears beating through her brain were not subdued.  “How do I explain?  When I was studying at Johns Hopkins, I lived with Grace – we were more roommates with benefits than anything else, as you know.  Well, when we would be overwhelmed with work and school, she liked to watch these movies that had started airing – Hallmark?  It’s a… thing over in the States, and it’s only grown over the last twenty years, but these were the early days.  They were cheesy and predictable, but… mindless.  A distraction.  I grew to enjoy them as well, because they were light and hopeful, and I needed that.”

Rose arched an eyebrow. “Are you telling me all your ‘late meetings’ were just you, in here, watching… Christmas movies?”

He nodded.  “I thought… I’m sorry, but I thought you’d laugh. No one knows.  Well, Grace, and we’ll occasionally discuss them in there’s a particularly good one, but- I was embarrassed.  I didn’t want you to think less of me.”

As his words processed, Rose didn’t know whether to cry or laugh.  Sinking into him, she buried her face in his neck, hating his hesitation before tightening his arms around her waist.  Emotion bubbled up her chest, and they were both surprised when it erupted as laughter.  Clinging to him, she gasped for breath amongst her howls, all of her worry being expelled until love tinged with shame remained, and she calmed.

Eventually she sat upright again so she could see his face, smiling as she wiped at her eyes.  “To be clear,” she started, voice hoarse, “I’m not laughing at you watching Hallmark movies.  I’m laughing because how I’ve entertained myself while waiting for you is by watching the same sort of cheese on Netflix.  And in fact, I’ve watched so many of them that I’ve gone through all the non-royalty ones and have resorted to watching those against my better judgement.  And let me tell you, this whole suddenly a queen thing looks a lot easier in the movies.”

Ian laughed as well, expression lightening.  “Sounds like we still need to work on being open and honest with each other,” he said easily.  “Why don’t we go back to our bedroom, make a cuppa, put on some seasonal pajamas, and curl up and watch a movie together?”

“I would love that.” She kissed him, deep and lingering. “And then maybe we’ll go to bed early.”

“Deal.”

-

Once settled on the couch, movie queued on the screen in front of them, Ian allowed himself to relax. It had felt good, sharing this aspect of himself with her, and he was gratified to know that not only had she not made fun of him, but she actually enjoyed the same sort of guilty pleasure.

He couldn’t help but be a little hurt at her initial reaction though, her suspicion and veiled accusations, wondering what he’d done to have that be what she jumped to, rather than planning a surprise (which he was, to be fair).

“Ready?”  Rose flopped onto the couch before curling into him, one arm firmly wrapped around the large bowl of popcorn fresh from the microwave. “Let’s start, so we can call it a night.”

“Sure,” he agreed, hitting play on the remote as they snuggled together.

He tried to focus on the plot, but his thoughts kept running away from him, and by the time the leads had ‘re-met’ as more than passing characters, he was consumed with questions. Hitting pause, he struggled to sit up as Rose protested the change.

“Hey!”  Putting the bowl on the coffee table in front of her, she turned around.  “What’s wrong?”

Ian licked his lips, trying to marshal his thoughts into coherence.  “Can we talk?”

Expression faltering, she nodded, crossing her legs and facing him.  “I guess you wanna know why I sort of overreacted?”

“I wouldn’t have put it that way, but, yes.  I… didn’t realize we had, well, trust issues.”

“We don’t.”  She sighed, not sounding particularly convinced. “At least, we don’t, and it’s honestly got nothing to do with you.”

He kept silent, watching her.  She seemed to have something on her mind, something from her past, he suspected, and tried to keep his features arranged in an open and inviting manner.  The fireplace crackling was the only sound, the light from the flames making her seem to glow.

“When I was sixteen, I had this shitty boyfriend,” she said haltingly, staring down at her hands and twirling her ring.  “He was a musician who thought he’d make it big, so it was the usual story – I dropped out of school to support him, and he thanked me by getting drunk and being abusive. Verbally, mostly, but- well, mostly. He also cheated.  A lot.  In our- in my bed.  The one that I paid for.  Long story short I eventually went home with my tail tucked between my legs, and you know the rest of that, but…  And then Mickey- don’t tell Martha, he was different then- well, he wasn’t much more inclined to be exclusive, but he wasn’t cruel about it, and to be honest I kept one foot out the door the whole time anyway.  The point is-” she took a deep breath, placing her hand over his, “the point is those scars are deep.  I thought they’d healed- I put a lot of effort into it- but when I stood outside your door, just wanting to be with you and help you, worrying about how much more you’d been working lately- and I heard a woman laugh… it just brought it all back.  Like getting slammed with a rogue wave, just instant- and I know you’re not like that, and I do trust you, I just-”

“Old wounds pull,” he murmured, when it was clear she wouldn’t continue.  “Instinct.”

“Yeah.”  She gave him a soft, tentative smile.  “So, really, I’m sorry for coming on so strong.  I just… I love you so much, I couldn’t do that again. Be the fool again.”

For the first time the conversation made him angry, but not at her.  “You are not a fool,” he told her fiercely, bringing both hands up to cradle her face and make her meet his eye, so she could see the sincerity there. “You are wonderful, and smart, and talented, and brave.  I’m sorry I was a prat sneaking around, I didn’t mean to make you worry.  And I won’t do it again.  I absolutely forgive you, not that there’s anything to forgive.”

“Thanks.”  She sniffled.  “And I forgive you.”

They kissed, a warm, buttery meeting of lips, just a joyful expression of love and happiness.

“Now, what say you we finish this movie?” he asked, tucking her hair behind her ears and making her smile. “I want to share this with you.”

Rose bit her lip, looking between the screen and his face, before shrugging one shoulder.  “Dunno, are you sure we’ve made up enough?”

His brow furrowed, her smile morphing into a cheeky grin and she tilted her head in the direction of their bed.  Finally understanding her meaning, he laughed, reaching for the remote and shutting off the telly without a second thought.

“An excellent idea,” he stood, offering her his hands.  “I think I have some making up to you to do.”

“Well, if you insist.”

And just like that, a new holiday tradition was born.

[mycityandme]

Reflecting on now, in the absence of a real subject

https://tashtasticblog.wordpress.com/2020/06/21/reflecting-on-now-in-the-absence-of-a-real-subject/

I return to my drafts, hoping perhaps that by some miracle a wonderful article has appeared by my hand, just about ready to go up and be shared with my small community of readers. Alas, such magical occurrences don’t actually happen in real life, and with my mainstay of inspiration (the glorious city of London) still largely closed or inaccessible, here I am writing about…well, my thoughts I suppose.

I’m not sure how to feel about where things are. It seems like we are gradually and confusedly edging out of lockdown, yet the restrictions are still largely in place, and I’m aware that even those things I long to return to, will not still exist in the form that I have loved them. This I must accept. Though as easy the phrase ‘new normal’ is to say, much as the incredibly misleading and irritating term ‘social distancing’ has become common parlance (to the extent that, one is no longer ‘meeting a friend’ but ‘having socially distanced meet-up with a friend’), I can’t fathom that it will be as easy to adjust to. If ‘new normal’ in museums means following a rigid queuing system with a few minutes allowed to dwell on each artwork, I’d rather not bother.

What I’ve missed most about museums, after all, is not the opportunity they offer for social occasions (though of course I enjoy a good ol’ overpriced tea with a pal at the Tate), but that feeling like your gaze, despite the thousands that have gone before, has value, and that the artwork or artworks at hand are offering something fresh up to you, keeping you company, even when you’re feeling lonely. The last time I went to the William Morris Gallery, I went to see the exhibition about the Morris and the Bauhaus (which, through ArtFund, I had donated towards) and for a long period I was alone in this small room of treasures. I can’t convey how privileged I felt and how touched by the masteries of creativity and craftsmanship before me. There I was, at liberty to experience all this. In all this, time restriction and the sensation that somebody is directly behind you waiting to fill your spot is the worst possible evil.

Likewise, if going out for dinner involves sitting within a clear lampshade, I’m out. There is an unspoken intimacy that going to eat at a restaurant entails, quite apart from eating the same meal from Deliveroo at home. It is the exchanges over the table, with everybody sat together (I’m thinking of my family here), the bickering, the laughter, the sharing of food, the interactions with the waiter. At a good meal in a restaurant, nobody is on their phone, scrolling through the echo chambers of social media. Everybody is present. Even in the quite frankly very awkward meals with my family and my ex and his father, there was joviality and humour, a clasped hand beneath the table or a friendly shoulder squeeze, indicating ‘that was a joke, don’t be angry that I revealed that.’ At the dinner after my graduation, in which I not only graduated (amazing, right?) but also gave the student speech, my brother raised a toast to me and how proud he was, beginning to well up (again). Yes, it was Ask Italian, a chain no less, but I would not have given up that night for all the world. Somehow I feel the experience might have been somewhat marred had we been seated within plastic lampshades.

Therefore, I find this whole emphasis on ‘returning to normality’ a bit strange and a bit sad. The one thing I have absolutely set my mind to is visiting my friend in Norwich just as soon as she’s there and just as soon as I can get there. The one thing I hope won’t have to be sacrificed is the wondrous feeling of train travel, everything paused and at liberty to read and to write as though time offered no meaning, passing through worlds and lives so rapidly you catch only glimpses. I miss that.

I don’t mean to sound bleak, but neither do I want to pretend everything is okay just because some things are. My mind seems in a constant state of whirring and I have sudden ideas late at night when I’d rather be asleep. I ponder on all the jobs and opportunities I have lost and am to lose (any visitor-facing role seems perilous territory now), despite endlessly being told how lucky I am that I have not lost all my work. But, if I have realised anything over this period, it’s that money means very little. Call me privileged (and I am, in the sense that I am safe in my family home and currently have few expenses), but not once have I noticed my salary has been paid in and felt my spirits soar the way they do at the completion of a collage or the receipt of an article for my blog, or when I pause at the distant sound of bird song. Money is necessary, sure, but it is at times like these that you realise what you genuinely value.

For me, what I miss most about my old jobs is the human interaction. Producing family activities to be completed at home as opposed to delivering live activities for children and families may sound similar but they feel like diametrically opposed roles. Working with families is demanding, exhausting, and frustrating, but it is also intensely rewarding. One amazing interaction with a child or parent can brighten an entire otherwise dull day. The benefit of producing an online activity, though of course not without value, is unseen. You can imagine family enjoyment produced from your hours of creation, but you cannot see it, touch it, or respond to it. It is creation into a void. Visitor-facing roles within cultural institutions are often devalued and I feel likely to be even more so in light of social distancing and the atmosphere of general fear among people, but let’s not forget our own experiences of interactions within these spaces bringing them to life. I’d be so interested to hear if anyone has any to share?

[ultraeloquentposts-blog]

👩‍⚕️THE OTHER SIDE 👩‍⚕️

Time: 3.45 a.m – Peaceful Nights ???

“Jatatavigalajjala pravahapavitasthale

Galeavalambya lambitam bhujangatungamalikam

Damad damaddama ninadavadamarvayam

Chakara chandtandavam tanotu nah shivah shivam”

Brain: “Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?” 

Heart: (Dub dub dub dub dub heartbeat racing fast). 

Brain: “Aaaaahhh it’s the alarm.” 

“But I just closed my eyes.”

“How does it matter, it’s time, I need to check on the patients downstairs. 

But again, I gave all the necessary instructions on my last visit, they should not need me again. 

What if the new-borns are hungry or if they oversleep? What if the mother sleeps while feeding the baby? MMMMMaybe I just ask the nurse on duty to have a look. Yeah, this sounds good, if there is a problem, she will call me. “

She picks up the intercom to ask the nurse on duty if all is good. 

Yet again, her brain plays the angel “But then I am already awake, better I have a look myself” (faces of the new-born babies blink in her eyes). 

She sneaks out of the bed, hoping that she will be back in the cozy comfort quickly and heads straight up to the dressing room to change into something elegant – Yeah, Doctors don’t get the privilege to step out wearing a night robe in their comfy gown, even in the middle of the night. Why? Well, let us ask our judging selves, what if my doctor comes in a comfy night rob to visit me. My illness goes in a corner and my judging-self starts talking “What a mess, is she really a doctor?” “Look at her, how is she supposed to handle my case?” Is she even hygienic or disciplined enough?”

We have learned to judge people on their appearance. With certain exceptions, we have learned that it’s okay to be a little biased for “the thing of beauty”, after all, we are the society that has labeled fair “Lovely” and skinny “Desirable”. So, judging your doctor who just walked out of the bed is involuntary.

Yes, ironically 12 years of hard work and 10 years of studies, will be easily judged and rendered unworthy in that small minute.

After changing and splashing some water on her face, she is quite awake. Her face and eyes, in particular, are swelled, begging her for some rest. But She is a doctor, she is in charge of the life. How can she, be at ease not knowing her patients’ status, she can’t have mercy on herself. Hence, ignoring her swelled up face, aching body and paining legs. She rushes downstairs to check on her patients with new-born babies. She has facilitated 1 C-Section and 1 Normal delivery in her own nursing home today. The C-Section had twins, then there is an infant from the C-Section of yesterday.

She always gets this proud feeling when a child is delivered healthy, when both the mother and baby are healthy. As if, she herself is the family who was supposed to take care of the mother and as if she herself is the mother who has just delivered that healthy baby. She does not care about the caste/creed/color/appearance of her patients, the only thing that makes her happy is the good health of the mother and baby. But unfortunately, this is something not good enough for the people and society. We have taken healthcare for granted, failed to appreciate their selfless hard work until it has directly affected us. Yes, she does get treated like a goddess when people realize that it is actually about life and death. But, knowing her in person, I want her (and every doctor out there) to know that we literally owe our lives to them.  

The babies need to be fed milk solution as Mothers won’t still be able to feed the new-borns. Quite often the caretakers doze off and the baby might stay hungry, she has to make sure that the babies are fed and the mother is OK. However, the mother from yesterday’s C-Section was trained on feeding today and should try feeding her baby. Also, the new-borns need to be fed every 2 hours, which means no continuous sleep for mothers. Hence, as a doctor, she prefers putting up a midnight alarm to check on patients if everything is fine. The major risk remains with the patients whose baby is a few days old, as their families/elders tell them how to feed the baby while lying on the bed (being concerned about the mother’s condition). But this is a big “No” and is not at all allowed. 

Reason? – Mothers are too tired, out of the injury of C-Section or the big fight of normal delivery along with waking up every 2 hours trying to feed their baby and a major possibility is for them to doze off while feeding the baby. There are cases wherein the mother was feeding the baby lying on the bed when she dozed off and the baby suffocated to death due to the weight of the breast. She makes sure to avoid any such incidents by checking continuously on her patients.

After calming down the 1 day old and instructing the nurse to feed him powdered milk, she moves to the next room, and to her surprise the patient is feeding her baby lying on bed and the patient's eyes are closed in sleep. “Why are you lying on the bed, you need to sit and then feed the baby. You are not supposed to lie down comfortably while feeding.” Then she turns to the caretaker and asks the patient's mother in law for why is she not keeping an eye. It is this time, the mom-in-law makes a snarky remark “It’s all a new drama these days, I have fed all kids like that, and nothing has gone wrong. It’s our will how we want to feed the baby, what is your problem.”

She tries to explain “The mother has a very high chance of falling asleep if she is lying down and the baby might suffocate because of the breast weight, as he will not be able to move his head”. The   M-I-L argues back “It's not possible, we all have fed our babies, this is rubbish. Just, release us tomorrow, this is all a drama, we could have delivered at home, doctors just need a reason to cut the stomach. In our times, we delivered all healthy babies at home. These doctors are here only to make money.”

This is the time, it pinches her heart, the patient was in labor for 8 hours. She was continuously monitoring her situation; she could hear the baby’s heartbeat going slower and slower. This is when she asked the mother and family to hear for themselves and let her go for C-section as soon as possible. Delivery at home was not an option here. But she can’t go on explaining everyone – that way her day would need to have an extra 12 hours. “I would complete my medical duties and discharge you as soon as I can. I have no interest but the baby and mother’s health” Before the lady can utter any more nonsense, she turns to her nurse and tells her to be vigilant here and let her know if there are any further issues.

The twins have had their food and are sound asleep, she moves back upstairs, washes her hands, changes clothes, drinks some water and by the time she is back in bed, it’s 4.45 am.

Thanks to her hectic life, sleep is always around the corner for her. She falls asleep right away.

6.00 am – Never Early to Bed but Always Early to Rise!!!

“Jatatavigalajjala pravahapavitasthale

Galeavalambya lambitam bhujangatungamalikam  

Damad damad damaddama ninadavadamarvayam

Chakara chandtandavam tanotu nah shivah shivam”

Dub dub dub dub.. the heart races again with a pinch of pain in the head. 

Brain games are here again: “No you don’t need to get up. 

5 minutes won’t hurt.

I promise I don’t need that alarm; I will be back awake with a quick 5 minutes of a power nap.

The patients were fine. The girls? Come on, I will fix a quick lunch in 15 minutes and 10 minutes to get them out of bed.

But the girls need cuddling and then getting ready, that will take 15 minutes. Total 30 minutes, I have an extra 10 minutes, 5 minutes to sleep and 5 minutes to be awake. I can do it.

Aaaahh. See, I passed 5 minutes in all the calculations when I could have slept nicely.”

She drags herself out of the cosy blanket and sleepily moves to the washroom to splash her face awake again. After which she straight away comes back to bed to wake her sleeping beauties up. She is a proud mom of two beautiful daughters Manya & Ananya. They have only 50 minutes for their school bus. The girls toss and turn to sleep back but she lovingly embraces them, kissing them again and again and telling them it’s time for school. After getting the girls out of bed, on their feet, she instructs them to get ready quickly. While the girls are getting ready, she heads to the kitchen to fix a quick yet innovative and tasty lunch. The lunch must be on par with the other kids and if she does not want food back, she better makes it tasty. It is already a pain to feed Manya – she has an inbuilt disrelish towards most of the food. Once the lunches are ready, she gets breakfast on the dining table and rushes to check if the girls are ready. 

Manya is moving around with her hair still not braided, while Ananya is ready for breakfast with her school bag. She asks Manya to start with her breakfast and she goes on braiding her hair, while she eats. 

Girls have left for school; she now makes a nice tea for herself and her husband who is reading the newspaper by now. 

The maid will be here any minute, she quickly checks her messages and catches some news on T.V. She needs to check on her patients again, before going to her workplace. 

8.00 am - & The Day (which never ended) Begins

At 8.00 she takes a look at the patients. Where luckily, all is good. She then drives towards the hospital, it’s OPD today (hospitals usually have 1 day dedicated for operations and 1 day dedicated to outdoor patient’s check-up) and patients are already queuing out. 

After checking patients till 2.00 pm, with a 15 minutes tea break, she heads to the college building as she has to give a lecture in the college building. Doctors are supposed to teach medical students as well. On the way, she smiles remembering the funny media person interviewing her on doctor’s day and asking her if she thinks that medical students are not getting proper teachers in India. To be a medical professor in India, it’s not enough to be a doctor, but you have to keep up your research work and you must get papers continuously published. The medical profession has the toughest eligibility criteria for teachers, but people believe in sold media or unauthenticated WhatsApp forwards instead of trying to find out the truth.

At 3.00 pm she is out from the lecture and finally headed towards home.

By 4.00 pm after checking on her patients, she is eager to catch a nap before the patients start flooding in her nursing home.

5.30 p.m. – She has had her hour-long power nap. While she is sipping her tea, the girls show her their Homework and tell her about their school day. Since she is in a good mood, Ananya starts building the pitch “Mom, it’s been so long we have gone out. Let’s eat out today. We are already done with our homework”

She reminds her daughter “There are patients lined up already. O.K Let me see, if there is not much rush, we can go later.”

This is not new, because of the evening patients, she rarely gets time to have a nice family outing. Girls are also accustomed to going out after 9 pm, once the patients have all been attended to. 

Manya suggests “We can go to Avengers Endgame, what say? Come on mom, it will be fun. I will book the 9 p.m. show.”

She calls up the reception desk and checks on the number of patients. Luckily, it’s not too much of a rush today. She tells Manya to book the movie tickets. But till then, girls need to be done with their studies. 

6.30 pm

After imparting dinner instructions to her maid, she heads to check the patients. Along with 4 new patients, she checks the patient who wanted to leave early. If all is good with her, she can be discharged tomorrow morning. She finds everything good and tells the nurse to prepare the patient’s discharge papers and inform the patient’s family to complete the discharge formalities by tomorrow morning.

9.00 pm - Family Time ????

The girls come downstairs to the parking for the movie and they head straight away to the theatre. As always, they are late but the girls are happy that they could go out. After reaching the theatre, girls happily grab their favorite snacks and are 30 minutes late but they have started with the movie at least.

10.00 pm

Her phone rings in the middle of the movie and she gets to know that the family of the patient to be discharged tomorrow is creating a scene. On asking about the exact issue, her staff informs that the family wants to take the patient home right now and they say the charges are too much which they will not pay. She instructs the staff to ask them to wait, she will be in the hospital in 10 minutes. 

She has to leave her daughters in the theatre. While her husband drives her back, she wonders what is wrong and remembers when the couple first came to her last year. They had lost 2 babies due to miscarriage and had no hopes of conceiving again. It was then, she gave them hope and started the treatment.  She even prayed for them (as such she always prays before performing all her operations), she strongly believes God to be the ultimate power and with God’s blessings, nothing can go wrong. With careful medicines, continuous examinations the couple got the blessing of conceiving again in 2 months. She was very careful and did everything to avoid a miscarriage this time. All the efforts and prayers succeeded and the lady delivered a healthy baby 2 days back. The patient’s husband and family were so happy that they called her God and tried to even touch her feet, to which she politely replied that we are just the pawns of God, and I am glad to be doing what I do. At that time, they could not stop praising her hard work, humbleness, and elegance. She remembers clearly explaining the costs to the patient's husband and he himself selected the room and services. This is the usual norm. Yet, today they find the costs too high. Why is it that people find it difficult to pay doctors who actually heal them but are ok spending on entertainment? 

With all these thoughts going around, she reaches her nursing home. The patient’s family is waiting and a lady calling herself the patient's Aunt comes to her “Madam, these people are asking for too much money. This is a nursing home; it should not be so costly here. This much we pay in big cities.”

She replies “These are the normal charges all our patients pay; we have not charged anything new or extra to you. I work at ABC hospital too and the charges there are just double. Also, the patient's husband was very well aware of the costs and he himself selected the package. Can you please call him?”

The husband who was probably standing nearby hops in and says “No, I never knew”. 

He is lying to her face; she is in shock and decides it’s better to have a written agreement before delivery. Trust is out of the question with people these days.

After a long series of arguments, she is drained off. She says “Please take the patient home and do not pay anything. Do not come to me for anything going forward”

The family stays for the night. She drives back to the theatre to pick up her daughters, the movie would have ended by now.

12.00 pm - Day Ends (at least for a few hours)

She finally gets to be back in bed for a few hours. until the alarm rings yet again.

These were the 24 hrs of a Doctor’s life. Not even 6 hours of continuous sleep. No compromises on other roles of a teacher, a mother, a wife.

Post Credits:

The family who had a problem with charges sends the husband’s younger brother to talk. She calmly talks to him as well. He thanks her for all she did but stresses that the couple is facing a financial crisis and is really hoping for a concession. She believes yet again and agrees to a small concession. The brother is happy now. He says further “We have just 1 last favor to request”. She is really losing it, if he still cries about the payment. But, to her surprise, he explains “We have this insurance claim of 1.5 lakhs, we would be really obliged if you could approve it.” 

They wanted her to sign an insurance claim of triple the amount of her hospital fee and just acted as if they were paying out of their savings. She still kept her calm and explained that this is wrong, she cannot sign for more than the payment she is receiving and that the amount is very high. But the brother still tries to convince her. Now she very firmly tells him “Sir, there are MCI rules in place, doctors can take fees as per the hospital size and services only. If we ask for more, we can even lose our license. Signing a falsified insurance claim is not only unethical but illegal too. Further, I would like my complete payment without concession. Since your insurance is paying the amount. You should not have a problem being able to afford it. Please deposit the fee today and get the patient discharged.”

She moves out of her clinic.

Isn’t It Time We Reconsider Our Priorities ??? 

Media and society have created an image of doctors as money craving devils. 

Well, the truth is we can pay 500 Rs for a movie but paying the same or even lesser amount to the doctor for our own health is a problem.

We are a society that treats actors(es) like gods(ess) but the real gods amongst us who actually heal us are considered demons. Why? Because, they ask to be paid for their services.

So, what? if they have spent 10 years amidst books and corpses and stinking blood, stinking medicines. 

So, what? if they are 24 hours on duty, (leave getting their beauty sleep, even a 6-hour sleep is a luxury).  

So, what? if they have no family life.

Our situation - We see a Celebrity and we are like “ Shut up and take our money”. 

Life’s highest honor? This photo of me with Madhuri Dixit.

That day Salman Bhai actually waved at me, I bet he was looking at me. 

But bro, you stand in front of his building daily. Haan to I am his biggest fan, it’s not easy to see God, you need to work hard.

My daughter resembles Katrina, just too pretty.

We would happily give our money to a Star whose job requires dressing up, glamming up, partying, and a bit of acting. They entertain us and apparently entertainment is our priority over life.  

Who probably doesn’t even know why the sky is blue, who is our president, or even have a basic life reasoning? And why should they know all this, they earn in millions and live a lavish life even with their ignorance. 

It is ok even if our favorite actor drives over sleeping people on the road. He has all rights. He is God. But not the doctor who just saved my life – because they are asking to be paid for their service.

We will idolize Priyanka Chopra because she is a self-made woman. Well, so is Indira Nooyi, (maybe a better example), but considering their popularity, we have again failed to notice the genius over a pretty face. 

Mr. Amir Khan did mention in Satyamev Jayate “Ventilators are used by doctors just to make money”. I wonder, why the country needs so many ventilators – The money mending machine amidst the Corona Crisis. 

It is high time, we as a society review our priorities and instead of idolizing skin, better idolize the brain. Because Brain is capable of creating something immortal while Skin will just cloth you up and will wrinkle off eventually. 

And, if you still can’t dodge off your decision to curse doctors, you can prioritize investing your money in your security, which is the Indian Army. But yeah, for our very own sake, it’s high time to correct our inverted pyramid and reset our priorities.

[xxwritemeastoryxx]

Forgotten Alliance Ch 21

Author: xxwritemeastoryxx

Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x OC with other parings mentioned throughout.

Word Count: 6.1K

Warnings: Canon Typical things

Author’s Note: As a reminder, FA can be found on ffnet up to chapter 42. I am uploading chapters here on tumblr for convenience. I decided against tagging this until new chapters are posted. If you would like to be tagged please let me know! Chapters are queued and will be posted randomly. Chapter from here on out are not aligned with any episodes.  Enjoy

Elizabeth,

I know this letter my come as a shock to you, but you really are the only one I have left that understands what we are going through. Its been six months and I have managed to find a place to call home, for now. I have looked into where you said the cure for Rebekah would be and I must hand it to you, you knew what you were talking about. I am glad I did leave Hope behind, they had some legend that had some relation to her. I just hope that in the future this isn't something we have to deal with. I do not want to have my daughter ever dealing with that place, like ever. While I have Rebekah's cure I cant help to wonder where you are on your end of finding things. How is that going? Do I need to come and help in anyway? Sitting here doing nothing isn't helping ease my mind in anyway. I want our family whole again. I want Hope to be able to see her father some time soon. That had always been my worst fear. For Hope to grow up without one or both of her parents. While I can continuously tell her stories of her father and aunts and uncles, I can tell she feels that things are different. I feel that Hope knows that her family isn't going to be around and I hate for her to grow up like that. I hope what ever plan it is that you have is working out in your favor. Just know that if you ever begin to feel lonely out there in New Orleans, you aren't alone. I have decided to put our differences aside. You are the only family Hope has left. I'd rather not keep her away from someone that has stronger connection to her uncle then I will ever have or understand.

While I would say be safe out there, I don't think that applies to you. You are the unkillable one.

Hayley

Elizabeth laughed and shook her head as she placed the letter down on the desk in her room. She ran her hand through her hair before noticing that her hair had blood in it. Rolling her eyes slightly she stood and actually looked at herself in the mirror. She was currently covered in blood and hadn't bothered cleaning herself off just yet. She had just gotten back to the compound after a long day of 'persuading' a few vampires. Seeing as Elizabeth and Vincent were trying to bring some peace back to the city, some of the vampires didn't agree and as punishment, Elizabeth did what she thought was necessary.

In the past six months, Elizabeth managed to focus more on New Orleans. Restoring the balance between the supernatural beings and the humans had managed to make its way up to the top of her easy list. It was easier to deal with the cities problems as they came. While Elizabeth knew that other things were far more important, this had been more of her day job and her weekday job. Come nightfall and those weekends, Elizabeth was out doing everything she possibly could to find the cures she needed. Tonight, she had would be going to check on the progress of been close to finding Freya's cure.

Elizabeth sighed as she walked into the bathroom and grabbed a wash rag to wipe off the blood. Looking in the mirror, she seen that blood not only covered her hair, but most of her face and clothes. She shook her head slightly and got most of the blood out of her hair and was about to change when there was a knock on her room door. Putting the towel down, she walked out to her room and saw Vincent standing there in the doorway.

"Yes?" She asked as she looked at him for a moment before walking towards her closet.

"They are here." Vincent said from his spot. Elizabeth sighed and nodded.

"I am going to change and then I will be down there." She said before grabbing some clothes from the closet.

"I'll tell them you'll be down in five then." He said before turning away from the door.

"Make it three." Elizabeth said walking behind the changing wall.

Elizabeth sat at the head of the table. Sitting with her at the table with her was, Mary, Vincent and the Mayor of New Orleans. This had actually been the first time they had met since Elizabeth got everyone to agree on that they need for peace between them. Mary had been there representing the Wolves while Hayley was gone. Vincent of course was there for the witches and the mayor for the humans.

"Now, my proposal is simple," Elizabeth said as she looked at everyone. "I would like for us to actually live in peace here in the city. In doing so, I know we will hit some bumps along the way." She looked over at Vincent for a moment. "Having the witches practice magic is their right, no one should keep them from doing what they were born to do." She then looked at Mary and gave her a small smile. "I would like for your people to feel welcomed to live in the city without fear of a witch or a vampire placing some kind of curse on them or without them feeling that they have been forced to stay in the Bayou forever." She looked over at the Mayor. "As always the people of New Orleans are the most important. I'd like for the past terms of keeping the locals safe and allowing vampires to only feed off the tourists to be left intact."

"What about the Vampires, Elizabeth?" Mary asked and Elizabeth gave a smirk as she looked at them.

"Marcel had a loyalty thing where many of them walked the night and it took loyalty and trust to earn a daylight ring. I would like to keep that the same. But, I will not hesitate to put the fear in any vampire that does not follow some of my own rules that I will have enforced. The vampires that have been living in the city and have been following the rules are more than welcome to stay, the others..." Elizabeth shrugged slightly. "They will be handled how I see fit."

"Which is what?" The Mayor asked. "Keep them in some cement prison like Marcel had?"

"Look," Vincent said looking over at him. "Elizabeth invited me earlier to watch a meeting she had with the vampires that reside in the city. While some had agreed to what Elizabeth was saying, a few had threatened and even attempted afterwards to harm one of the witches. Elizabeth did not hesitate to stop them and punish them in front of the others. Her sentencing seems fit to me for what they had done."

"And what sentence was that?"Mary asked looking at Elizabeth.

"Death." She said as if it had been nothing that she had just killed several vampires.

"So you plan to kill any vampire that just decides to break one of your rules?"

"When you are able to put fear into someone that knows you incapacitated the originals, it works wonders. Some will rebel and I will show no mercy for those that wish to cause trouble within the city."

"What about the Originals?" The Mayor asked. "From my understanding you still have Klaus Mikaelson's body hidden within this compound. What makes you think the others will not return for their brother?"

Elizabeth didn't answer right away. She sighed softly before looking at the Mayor. "The others will not be returning anytime soon. A witch has put them into a deep sleep and will not wake until she allows them to. Their lives are currently tied to their brother's life. That is the reason I have him hidden. Killing him means killing them."

"Where is the problem in that?" He asked with a smile. "Killing them kills their lines if I am not mistaken."

"Klaus's sire line had been severed." Elizabeth shook her head. "You would still have those he turned running about in the world. And I would not be here to stop them from having their fun in your city."

"How would you not be here? Aren't you an original now?" Mary asked.

Elizabeth chuckled. "While that may be true, my life is still connected to Elijah. Killing him might as well be signing my own death sentence. So keeping them alive for now is the best thing we have." She said with a small sigh. "But I won't lie to you, there will be a time where they return."

Before the Mayor or Mary could voice there worries with the originals returning, Vincent looked to them. "But when they do, they will be under Elizabeth's rules."

Mary scoffed. "And what happens the first time Elijah breaks one of your rules?" She asked looking at Elizabeth. "I watched Hayley change her views for that man before you came along and she sided with him even when he was in the wrong. How is it you will be able to give him a punishment if your life is tied to him?"

The thoughts alone hurt Elizabeth. She never wanted to even think about killing Elijah. And while he was currently sleeping in a coffin who knows where because of her, it still hurt to even think about the possibility of having to harm Elijah because of her rules. "We will cross that bridge if it ever comes." She said looking at Mary. "I don't see them coming home any time soon." Elizabeth stood from her seat. "That is all I have to say. I'd like for you to think on what I have said. Talk about it among your people and the next time we meet, we can go over anything you may wish to change." Elizabeth watched as they rest of them nodded and stood up from their seats and began to walk out of the room. She turned and started walking towards the opposite doorway that would lead back towards her room.

"Elizabeth." She heard Mary call out to her and she turned around.

"Yes?"Elizabeth asked as she took a few steps towards the woman.

"Have you heard anything from Hayley?" She asked.

Elizabeth nodded. "I received a letter from her today. She's safe, Mary."

"What is the point of her leaving the city and taking them with her?" Mary asked shaking her head.

"Because of mistakes I've made." Elizabeth said nodding slightly. "I asked her to take them out of the city and to find somewhere to stay. To start over in a way."

"Her people are here, Elizabeth." Mary said shaking her head. "She shouldn't be out there protecting them."

"That was her choice Mary. She decided to help me. She could have said to hell with me because I basically took the one person she actually loved away from her and right after, I incapacitated her daughter's father. But instead she didn't and she helped me out. She will come back here eventually. But right now, the safest place for her is being somewhere no one knows where. Klaus still has enemies out there even though the word has spread of what I've done. They wont hesitate to go after his loved one just so when he is no longer incapacitated that he will find that his family is gone. That is why I had her leave." Elizabeth took a few steps back. "If you'll excuse me, I have somewhere I need to be." She said before turning and walking away from Mary.

Elizabeth had driven two hours out of the city to reach a medical lab that she had found a month into her search for Freya's cure. Getting out of the car, Elizabeth walked to the back entrance and opened the door. Walking through the back of the lab, she walked down to the end of the hallway before making a right and opening the first door she saw. Inside she found woman looking through a microscope and she never once took her eyes off of it even as Elizabeth walked towards her.

"Something interesting?" Elizabeth asked as she reached the table where the woman stood.

"Always, Liz, always." She said as she adjusted the focus a bit before pulling her eyes away from the microscope.

"Is this interesting thing what I asked you to look into or is it something else?" Elizabeth had just been curious.

"Yours actually." The woman said as she wrote something down on a piece of paper before turning to look at Elizabeth.

"Please tell me you have something Lily." Elizabeth wanted to feel some excitement that this had only taken as long as it did to find the cure. But if there was nothing, she didn't want to feel the disappointment.

"I actually do." Lily said before picking up her notes. "I don't have the antidote just yet, but I feel close to getting it."

"How close are we talking?" Elizabeth asked watching as Lily got up from her seat and made her way to a filing cabinet.

"I'd say if I am lucky, another four or five months just to be sure." Elizabeth nodded feeling the disappointment slowly set in. Lily seen the look on her face. "Hey, you gave me a blood sample with a poison that I have never seen before, you even stumped my colleagues. Being four or five months out to finding the antidote is pretty damn impressive."

Elizabeth sighed. "Its good news, Lily. It is. I'm just disappointed in myself that I let my hopes get up thinking you already had it."

Lily smiled and chuckled. "I know I am pretty damn good at my job, but I am not that good to find an antidote in three months." Elizabeth smiled at the girl. She had been right though. Elizabeth had wanted Lily specifically. Elizabeth had stayed up several nights trying to find someone who could make an antidote for the poison that Freya had running through her system. Elizabeth had reached several dead end until she came across Lily. Lily had taken the challenge and hasn't stopped working on it.

"What ever it is that you are doing, Lily keep doing it." Elizabeth said with a nod.

Lily grimaced at her words. "I would, but I need another sample."

Elizabeth understood. She knew that the two vials of blood that she had taken from Freya would only last so long. She should have gotten more than that. Another sigh passed her lips and she nodded. "How much of it do you have left?" She asked.

"I have enough to get about another day of test trials. But after tomorrow, It wont be enough to do anything at all." Lily explained.

"I'll get it for you." Elizabeth said already trying to think of what to do. She could give Hayley a call, but she wasn't sure if Hayley had changed her number or anything.

"How would you even get another sample?" Lily asked. "From the rate this poison is moving, whoever had it should be dead by now."

Elizabeth chuckled. "She's not dead yet." She got wide eyes as an answer to her statement.

"H-how is she not?" She asked.

"That would be one of those if I told you I'd have to kill you and you wouldn't get paid type of things." Elizabeth said with a smile. It seemed like Lily understood right away as to what Elizabeth meant. She watched at Lily turned and opened a drawer. Once she had what was needed, she turned to Elizabeth and handed her a kit. "Thank you again Lily. I'll give you a call the moment I have a sample."

"Or just drop in like you usually do." Lily said with a shrug. "I never really leave here."

Elizabeth smiled. "Maybe if you get that antidote for me, after I pay you you should get out and actually see the world."

"We'll see." Lily said with a smile. Without another word, Elizabeth turned and walked out of the room and back out to her car.

Once she was in her car, she rested her head on the head rest. It had only been six months. That's all it had been. Yet, she was feeling like it was taking so much longer than she thought it would be to find the cures she needed. Another four or five months would get the antidote for Freya. That's how much time before she knew she had to do the one thing she wasn't looking forward to. Sighing she pulled out her phone and scrolled through it for Hayley's number. Finding it, she hesitated a moment before pressing call.

Hello? Hayley answered before the fourth ring.

"It's Liz." Elizabeth said into the phone.

I wasn't expecting a call from you anytime soon, honestly.

"I know." She said. "I got your letter today."

Yeah, I needed someway to vent out some feelings. But what I did say in there was true.

"I believe you." She nodded even though Hayley couldn't see her. "I'll have to take you up on that offer of getting out of New Orleans for a few days."

Things not going as planned? She could hear the worry in Hayley's voice.

"They are going just as planned. Speaking of which, Mary is worrying about you."

You spoke to Mary? There was disbelief in her voice.

"I needed someone from the wolves to act as a representative. It didn't take much convincing." Elizabeth shrugged.

Why didn't you ask me? I would have went back there.

"No." She shook her head. "The point was to get out of New Orleans and hide them. Mary stepped up and that was all I needed."

Elizabeth heard her sigh. How are things going with Freya's cure?

"It's getting pretty close. But that is what I was actually calling about."

What's wrong?

"I need a few more vials of Freya's blood. Lily needs it to finish the antidote she is working on."

Lily?

"Right, you dont know who she is. She's the best person I could find that is good at making antidotes for things that don't have one. She's close Hayley."

Alright, I'll text you the address. Should I be expecting you sometime tonight or tomorrow? Elizabeth looked at the time on her phone. It was already late.

"I'll be there sometime tomorrow." She decided.

I will see you tomorrow then. Without another word, they both hung up. Elizabeth kept her head back on the head rest and waited for a moment. If they were only six months into this whole thing, and had the cure for Rebekah and almost the cure for Freya, it wouldn't take much longer until they had the cure for her bite. But that in it's own was something she hoped that she could do with just the help of Lily. Unfortunately, only time would tell.

By the time it was well after noon, Elizabeth had already been almost to Hayley's house. She wasn't sure what she was going to expecting when she got there. She wondered if Freya already had the blood ready for her or would she allow her to see their bodies for a few moments. Elizabeth wondered where it was that Hayley was keeping them at. Part of her came up with what she had done to Malakai for all those years, a family crypt. But feeling like she knew Hayley a bit, Elizabeth thought that Hayley would want to keep them close. They needed to be close together for when she got all the cures for them.

When Elizabeth pulled up the address, she looked at the house she had pulled up to. It was decent enough for them to not look suspicious of anything. It had a nice yard and it had several of Hope's toys sitting in the corner by the front door. Elizabeth looked around and noticed that there were other families around them. She was blending in well. Elizabeth headed up the sidewalk up to the front door before knocking.

Hayley opened the door a minute later and invited Elizabeth in. They politely smiled at each other as Elizabeth walked in and Hayley closed the door behind her. As Elizabeth looked around the house, she could see that Freya had been busy the last few months. There were several pictures hanging on the walls. Some looked like they had been taken before she had left New Orleans while others were more obvious that they had been from afterwards.

"I'm gonna be completely honest with you Hayley." Elizabeth said as she turned and looked to Hayley. "I wasn't expecting you to find anything residential."

Hayley laughed. "Were you expecting something surrounded by trees or moats?" Hayley asked walking towards the kitchen.

Elizabeth followed her and nodded. "Exactly what I was expecting."

"Well, sorry to burst your bubble." Hayley said as she washed her hands and went back to what she had started cooking before Elizabeth had came. "But you wont find any of that here."

"That may be a good thing." Elizabeth said leaning on the island. "This seems like the perfect place to raise Hope." Hayley looked over at Elizabeth.

"I don't plan on raising her here for long, Liz." She said shaking her head. "As soon as all the cures have been found and they are awake, we are going back to New Orleans."

"We don't know how long that will take Hayley." Elizabeth said sighing. "Yes, we have the cure for Rebekah. Give it another five months and we will have one for Freya. But what about them? You had that lab destroyed with all the research they had been doing. I don't know how long it is going to take to get a cure made."

"A year is what it took for Lucien to make the damn thing."

"I'm not him. I don't have that type of man power to do what he did. But then again, he was creating something to kill them, we are trying to find a way to cure it. It could take some time."

"Time that she spends away from her father." Hayley sighed and shook her head. "Look, Liz, I am trying to hold on to the hope that we can get this done before she's old enough to actually care that we will have to move or that we are leaving her friends behind or if it even gets to that point where she will want to stay behind because of a boyfriend. Either way, he is going to miss it all and I can't do anything about it. She needs her father."

Elizabeth sighed and looked down at her hands. Elizabeth didn't know what it was like to grow up without a father figure in her life. At the same time, she knew the feeling of not having exactly what you wanted for your child. "We'll get through this, Hayley. She said looking back up at her. "You know I will try everything I can to make sure we get them awake and cured before that little girl is dating and wanting to make decisions on her own."

Hayley nodded. "Good. Because even I know as much as Hope needs her father, you need to see Elijah as well. I know living several hours away from him, even if he is in a deep sleep, must be hard."

"It is at times." Elizabeth admitted. "There are nights where I think all of this is just a bad dream and when I wake up and find the compound empty, I know its all real." She sighed and thought for a moment. "Where are you even keeping them?" She asked Hayley.

"Below your feet." Hayley said with a small smile. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and Hayley chuckled. "There is a basement. I keep them down there. Hiding them anywhere else just seemed to dangerous."

"Good to know." Elizabeth said with a nod. "On the way over here I was honestly racking my brain with ideas of where you would have hidden them."

Hayley smiled and looked at the time. "Why don't you go down there and get the blood you need and visit him for a minute." She said walking over to a door and unlocking it with a key. "Afterwards we can have dinner and if you'd like you can stay the night and leave in the morning. I know Hope has been dying for a familiar face."

Elizabeth nodded and began walking towards the door. "Where is Hope anyway?"

"Taking a nap. " Hayley said with a nod. "Without one, that girl would be running around this house non stop, believe me." Elizabeth smiled at the thought of Hope running around causing trouble for Hayley.

"She's going to be trouble when she gets older." She said as she started making her way down the stairs.

"Tell me about it." Hayley said shaking her head. "Oh, Freya is on the far right and Elijah on the far left." She called down almost forgetting to tell Elizabeth. It would make things easier for her instead of having to open each on up to find out who was inside each one.

"Thanks." Elizabeth called up as she reached the bottom step. She looked around the basement and sighed. All four coffins had been lined up almost in the same way they had been in the moving truck six months ago. She walked over to Elijah's and ran her hand along the lid before turning and walking towards Freya. Lifting the lid up, looked down at Freya and smiled a little. Pulling out the kit Lily had given her, she went to work on getting what she needed.

When she finished pulling out the blood she needed from Freya and stuck them in her pocket. She looked down at Freya one last time and sighed. "So close, Freya and then I will only have to worry about your brothers." She closed the lid and looked at the other coffins. She walked over to Elijah's and hesitated opening it. She knew that there would be no changes. He would just be asleep. She knew he was waiting for her to find the cure for him. And while she wondered what it was he was going through that head of his, she would never know until he woke up. She had no idea what Freya had done with the spell. For all Elizabeth knew, they were all stuck in their own heads until they would be awoken.

Finally making a decision, Elizabeth lifted the lid. Looking down at his sleeping form, she smiled slightly. It was good to see him, but this didn't feel the same at all. She wanted to see the light in his eyes and to see the color return to his face. he ran her hand along his cheek and shook her head. "One cure down, another almost done and then there will be yours. " She said to him even though she knew he couldn't hear her. "I'm trying. I promise."

Elizabeth heard something behind her and she turned around. She found Hope standing there holding a teddy bear. Elizabeth smiled at her. "Does mom let you come down here?" She asked. Her answer was a huge grin and a shake of the little girl's head. Elizabeth chuckled and shook her head before walking over to Hope and picking her up. "I won't tell her if you don't."

Hope nodded and then pointed towards Elijah's coffin. Elizabeth looked back and realized she hadn't closed the lid. Walking back over to it, she was getting ready to close the lid when Hope reached for her hand.

"No." She said almost giving Elizabeth a glare. Elizabeth raised her eyebrow and looked at Hope.

"I'm getting a glare from an almost three year old." She said sighing. "Okay Hope, we can look at Uncle Elijah for a few minutes before I take you back upstairs." She took a step closer to the coffin and leaned over it a bit for Hope to see. It seemed like the moment she saw that Elijah was laying there, a smile grew on her face. Elizabeth smiled and placed her hand on top of Elijah's. As slightly awkward it was to be having a moment of just looking at him with his niece in her arms, it had been nice. She just wished that she could actually see them. Elizabeth had closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, she was no longer in the basement.

Elizabeth held Hope close to her as she looked around at where they were. Elizabeth had been confused as she saw a green grass field. One moment she had been looking down at Elijah and the next, she was wherever she was with Hope. She turned in a circle as she looked around her before looking at Hope. "Your mom is going to kill me." She said as she began walking in a direction she had no clue where it would lead to. After walking for a bit, a house was seen in the distance.

Elizabeth sighed and when she looked down at Hope. She seemed have a huge grin on her face and began pointing towards the house. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and looked towards where Hope was pointing towards. There was movement in the house and Elizabeth couldn't quiet tell who was in there, but who ever it was, it seemed like Hope was excited to see them.

"Down." Hope said looking at Elizabeth. She wanted out of her arms and to be standing on her own.

"I'm not so sure that is a good idea, Hope." Elizabeth said as she continued walking. She didn't know where they were or who was in the house. She wasn't sure she could trust this place with the child.

"Down." Hope whined as she attempted to push herself down Elizabeth's body. Elizabeth sighed and placed her down on the ground but securely placing the girl's hand in hers. Just as they were about to start walking, Elizabeth heard the front door being opened.

"I'm telling you, I sense another witch here." Elizabeth heard a woman say. She picked up Hope once more and hid behind the hedge that surrounded a garden. She looked to Hope and held a single finger up to her lips gesturing for Hope to stay silent.

"How is it even possible? This was a spell you created." A man said and it caused Elizabeth to freeze in her spot. She knew that voice anywhere. She felt her heart speed up at the simple hope that this wasn't her mind playing tricks on her.

"What is it?" Another man asked.

"It's like I can feel that she is so close. Almost as if she is right here with us." That was all the confirmation Elizabeth needed and she moved herself and Hope out of their hiding spot and rounded the corner into the garden where she saw them standing there.

"It's because I am." There was excitement in her voice and she watched as they all turned towards them. At first there was a shocked looked on their faces to see them there and then they were replaced with grins.

"I knew I felt another witch." Freya said looking at Hope. Elizabeth placed Hope down on the ground once more and it seemed that Hope had been excited to see Freya that she ran to the woman. Freya and Rebekah laughed and smiled at Hope as Freya picked her up.

Elijah seemed to be holding a breath since he had turned and seen Elizabeth and Hope standing there. He couldn't believe it at first and even as his niece ran past him, it didn't seem real. Even as he watched as Elizabeth walk towards him, he wasn't sure she was real. The last six months he had not seen her face or even heard her voice. And right now, he didn't know how to act.

"She is standing right in front of you if that is what you are wondering." Kol said leaning into his brother for a moment. It caused Elijah to shake his head and Elizabeth to chuckle as she looked at the brothers.

"Kol," Elizabeth said giving him a slight nod. He returned the nod with one of his own and turned and went with his sisters and his niece.

It seemed that the moment Kol walked away, that was all the two had needed. Elijah took a step closer to her and pulled her to him before bringing his lips down to hers. They both had no idea how long she would be where they were. There was no way to tell if one moment she would be there with him still in his arm or if with in the next minute she would be back in the real world. What scared them both the most was if she disappeared in a moment and she wasn't able to return. They would both have to wait until he awoke. They were clinging on to each other as if it was their last.

[youreallyshouldtalkmore]

Beads of Temptations (T’ChallaXReader)

So when I write Black Panther insert I assume the reader is black although I may not necessary say point blank it's a blackReader. This time I'm saying it's a blackReader because of the nature of this story.

In fact, you are a blackReader who is not from Africa....that will become extremely important for the context of this story.

Finally got around to posting this T’ChallaReader oneshot that has been in the waiting wings foreeeeever!!  It’s actually one of the first BP fanfics I did but you know how Erik is....he rises up and claims all your attention. 

But our King has arrived.... 

I’m tagging some people around that I’ve probably read a fanfic from you and you seem to be a T’Challa stan and I thought I’d share one of my favorite T’Challa fanfics I’ve done. (Considering find new fanfics for T’Challa and M’Baku can be a challenge....) Forgive me if I bothered you in any way. I tagged you in another T’Challa fanfic so let me know if you don’t want to be tagged. These are queued so I might not get to it in time: @sarahboseman @brianabreeze 

Walk to the left. Stop. Turn.

Walk to the right. Stop. Turn.

You gazed at the tall door that seemed more daunting then you last remember. You stared at it a moment before raising your hand to knock.

Then you paused and slowly lowered it before walking to the left. Stop Turn....

The two Dora Milaje, who were your personal bodyguards, exchanged a glance, amusement sparkling in their eyes but not on their stoic faces. They had escorted you to see Queen Mother and had arrived five minutes prior and you still had not gone in. In fact, it took you three minutes to just walk down the hallway to the door. You kept turning around deciding to forget before turning and going down the hallway once again.

One of them spoke, "My Queen..... Queen Mother will be delighted to see you."

Somewhere amidst a turn you replied, "That's not the problem here."

"Dare we knock for you?" the other asked with a straight face. The other nudged her in response.

You stopped abruptly and glared at them though there was warmth in your eyes and your mouth quirked, "Don't even think about it."

The one in question dipped her head in apology.

"Though you are right....its past a point of ridiculousness now, isn't it?" You ask.

Neither dared to confirm or deny but you knew them enough to see the resounding, 'YES' lingering above their heads.  You rolled your eyes playfully before this time knocking on the door. The door slide open and you entered to see Queen Mother sitting on a couch.

You bowed crossing your arms over your chest. "Queen Mother..." You murmured.

"I was wondering how long it would take you to knock, child." she said wryly beckoning your over.

You groaned walking over and taking a seat, "Queen Mother....you knew?"

Amusement glittered in her eyes as she gave a solemn nod, "Yes, I've been waiting for the last five minutes for you to knock."

You hung your head a moment before it popped back up. "I did not mean to disturb you. I just...ah....." you trailed off.

Ramonda raised an eyebrow. Although she knew that you were a little on the shy and quiet side, she had never seen you this nervous. The closest you might have been was your wedding day but that was more nervous excitement than anything. This time however you looked more scared nervous as you twiddled your fingers.

Her voice was gentle, "Child, if there is anything you need help with you know you can talk to me."

You nodded still twirling your fingers together,  "Ahh, yes I know.....it just......a little embarrassing maybe? I don't know quite how to brooch the subject. "

Ramonda nodded and contemplated, "Perhaps, you'd feel more comfortable talking to my son?"

"Uh-uh!!" You looked up at her then wide-eyed shaking your head vigorously.

Something that you couldn't talk to T'Challa about? Now Ramonda was a little worried.

You continued plucking at your fingers, "Actually.....it's because it's a girl thing, I think? I would ask my own mother but she wouldn't know and I figured you'd being Queen mother and all might be able to help me in this instance."

Ramonda nodded and looked at you to continue.

You looked away unable to meet your mother-in-law's eyes, "Ahh.....um....well...I had become interested...that is.....I was wondering if it would be appropriate for me.....to uh..... to wear an African waist bead."

Ramonda blinked. Her daughter-in-law was this nervous about that? Suddenly she chuckled making you look at her a bit miffed. "Mama...." you whined.

"I'm sorry by dear, but I cannot believe that that is what is making you quite flustered."

You looked off, your lip poking out, "Well, before meeting T'Challa I had done the DNA test and discovered that they were in line with some of my ancestry and I always thought it would be kinda cool thing to do with my future husband. But I didn't know if it was Wakandan thing plus I don't exactly have one or know where to get one."

"Peace my child." Ramonda laid a hand on your shoulder making you stop rambling. You looked at her as she smiled, "There are many who wear them. And many who has once upon a time."

Ramonda's eyes twinkled as you looked away from her fighting your own smile, "I didn't need to know that, Mama."

Ramonda folded her hands together, "I think it's a wonderful idea. And I'm so glad you came and talked to me about it. We will make sure that you have a beautiful waist bead for my son."

"Thank you." you smiled.

T'challa eyed his wife who disappeared into the bathroom as soon as he exited with a raised eyebrow. He knew that he had been very busy in the past weeks but not so much that he didn't know that something was up. His mother and wife that had began to disappear. 

To where, he wasn't exactly sure. 

When he cornered Shuri about it she swore up and down that she had no idea but had realized both of you had taken to vanishing over the last weeks as well.  

Now at first sign of walking into your shared bedroom you had disappeared into the bathroom? Usually, he’d get inquired about his day. T’Challa was sure you were hiding something.

But what, he wasn't sure of.

"(YN), are you well?" he called out in concern as he pulled off his robe only leaving his dark purple almost black silk pajama pants.

"What? Yeah, I'm fine." he heard you call out clearly distracted. 

Well, you did sound fine but either way.....

He laid his robe on a small chair next to the nightstand "You sure?"

"Yes, dear. I'm fine. Just give me a few minutes."

T'Challa sat on the side of the bed, cocking his head in thought. It did cross his mind to go busting up into the bathroom demanding to know what was going on. But you didn't seem to sound off....maybe it was him. He had been working hard lately. He knew he needed a break but there was so much to do. He rolled his shoulders a few times, trying to work out the kinks and proceeded to do his stretches for the next few minutes.

When he was done, he was about to lay down when the crack of the bathroom door sounded. He looked over and frowned. You had clearly opened the door but had not completely the motion.

"My Queen?" He questioned leaning back in his seat trying to peer in to see you.

"Huh?"

Now T'Challa was becoming worried, "Are you certain you are alright?"

"Just peachy."

"Alright." T'challa murmured under his breath. He had just about enough. He was about to stand up and walk over to open the door himself when it opened and you stepped out.

Quickly without much thought, he took in an assessment of you. You looked like you were well. Actually, you looked.....extremely well.

You stood a hand rest on either side of the door. Your thigh length sky blue robe was barely open, held together by the sash, showing your glistening Earth toned skin. Upon further inspection, he realized you had lined your eyes and wore big hoop earnings. A pretty gem sat in the middle of your forehead held by a golden medal clipped into your short kinky hair that framed your round face.

"You like what you see?" You asked with a soft smile.

T'challa unconsciously wetted his lips, "Always. What's the occasion?"

"No occasion." You took your hands down and held them in front of you. The motion made your robe drop off our shoulder. T'Challa's dark eyes followed it as it fell.

"Perhaps because you earned a break?" you asked in after thought.

T'Challa swallowed and answered after a moment, "My love, you tempt me but I have to be up earlier than normal tomorrow."

He truly did not need this beautiful distraction tonight. Yet, he was sorely tempted to deal with the consequences in the morning.

"Actually you don't." You pulled out a piece of paper from seemingly nowhere.

As you walked towards him, T'Challa noticed the little sway in your hips and barely looked at the paper you were waving so intent on the motion of them.

You smirked, "Your mother, Queen Mother has pardoned you for the day tomorrow. She insists that her words are obeyed and that you are left in my care.” 

You were close enough that he could smell the sweet oils that you used. He blinked and only snapped out of it when he finally heard his name. He looked up at your kohl lined eyes that twinkled at him.

"T'Challa....did you hear me? As I said, you are on break."

You held out the piece of paper. T'Challa took it from you and tossed it behind him in one fluid motion without looking at it.  "Well, I hate to disappoint both my mother and my wife, especially when they conspire against me."

He reached out with both hands to grab you by the hips but you took a few steps out of his reach.  T'Challa let his arms fall down, his nose going up once.

You laughed once, "Don't pout, my love."

"I'm not." T'Challa sulked.

You smiled, "I don't want you to ruin your surprise."

The King perked at this, "Surprise?"

As a response you untied the sash and allowed the robe to drop to the floor. You wore a purple lingerie set but that is not what T'Challa's eyes were drawn too. He was looking at the beads around your waist, glittering purple beads with random gold ones throughout.  

You shivered watching his eyes go smoky. He lingered for the longest before slowly looking back up at you, dead into your eyes.

You tilted your head and held his gaze until you could no longer and dropped it unable to meet his. "You like it?" you asked softly.

"Come here."

You looked at him startled a moment. His voice had gone husky and an octave lower. He had one hand up, fingers inches from you, his eye never leaving yours. You had no choice but to obey, taking the step closer so that his fingertips could graze across your skin. Your eyes fluttered as you took another step allowing his hand to lie flat on your stomach, just above the beads. He ran his hand around your middle to the small of your back, pulling you closer. His other hand came up and ran a finger across the beads.  

"This for me?" he asked.

You nodded as you quivered under his touch.

His chocolate eyes went liquid as he asked, "Is this what you have been so secretive about this past week?"

You managed to find your voice, "Yeah....I asked your mother about them. I didn't expect it to be such a production but she took me to a local bead shop and I was able to custom make this for you."

T'Challa fingers still, "For me? You strung this together for me?"

You nodded again, not meeting your husband's eyes.  "Do you like it?" you asked quietly.

You let out a surprised squeak when the band snapped into your stomach lightly.

A grin danced on T'Challa face, "No. I don't like it." His voice went deeper, "I love it. How could I not, my love? How could I not love that you put this together for me. I'm flattered."

You deftly twisted out of his grasp before he knew what was happening, "Careful my king. Your arrogance is showing."

T'Challa stood then, towering over you, "I'm never arrogant."

You duck around the tall mahogany post of your bed. Keeping it between the two of you, you leaned on it and batted your eyelashes at him, "You cannot hide your flaws from me, my King. I know you too well."

T'Challa reached up over your head and gripped the post, leaning down. You pressed your lips together and slowly lowered your eyes, "And what does my Queen suggest then? Hm?"  

He leaned even closer to your lips and and you moved your face away with a small chuckle, pushing off of the post. "I expect you to be a good little boy, my King. Do that and maybe you'll get your dessert...."

Slowly, T'Challa stood, dropping his hand to his side, "And what of you?"

You cocked your head to the side, "Moi?"

T'Challa hummed a moment locking his hands behind his back, "How can you expect me to be a good boy when you've been a bad girl, a naughty girl to be frank?"

"Hush your mouth! At what point in time did I be naughty?" You asked your eyes sparkling.  

"The moment you came out here in this..." T'Challa jerked his chin down your form, "...But your sins started much sooner, didn't it?"

"What sins?" You asked crossing your arms.

T'Challa cocked his head, "Must I count the ways?"  

"Count 'em", you challenged.

"Very well. If I must.” T’Challa replied lazily. He lifted his chin and looked down at you with hooded eyes, “You have conspired with the Queen Mother, not only to make these beads specifically for me, keeping it a secret from your King but also to give me a day off tomorrow.  That is two counts. You are wearing not only a tempting outfit but these beads. That is four. You took care and time to make yourself up. That shows intent on your part to corrupt. That is five. And now, after getting me where you want me, you still deny me my pleasure. That is six."

All throughout this you were blinking and trying not to laugh. It wasn't really working as a grin was splitting your face. You tried your hardest to look angry or insulted but it wasn't working.

Finally you settled on trying to look at haughty as possible. The few chuckles ruined the overall effect, "At what point did I deny you your pleasure?"

"I want to touch you, my Queen."

"You can afford to a little patience."

As quick as lightening, you were pulled around the bed and flushed against T'Challa chest, his arm wrapped securely around you. You rested a hand on his chest, looking up at him from under your eyelashes.

"My patience is quite gone now."

"You speak of my sins, my King. What of yours? You will get yourself in trouble if you keep this up."

He gave a boyish grin, "I certainly hope so. But I am willing take my punishment. Are you willing to take yours?"

His other hand reached up and trailed over the beads grazing your stomach, this time trailing over your navel. You shivered once more. He repeated the action.

T'Challa leaned down and whispered in your ear, "Does that please my Queen?"

You gave an affirmative sound, your face buried in the crook of his shoulder.

"Good." he murmured. "Because I have many plans for you and this waist bead."

"I heard that as my husband you are supposed to take it off during....." You figure eight-ed your head as you trailed off.

"You heard right but that doesn't have to be so. Like I said, I have many plans for you and this waist bead."

You lifted your head and looked up at him curiosity in your features, "Do tell?"

T'Challa eyebrows lifted once, "Do not be in such a hurry. Patience is a virtue."

"Hmmm..." You pouted.

T'Challa reached up and grasped your chin, "Though I can tell you one thing right now."

"Hm?"

T'Challa grinned.

I hope you enjoyed this reader-insert. Would anyone be interested in a part 2 with T’Challa’s plans for the waist beads? If I could come up with an idea I would probably have a part 2 but right now this is it for this oneshot. 

So this reader-insert was quite a bit of indulgent. I actually did do a DNA test earlier this year and have been learning about African history and culture not related to the slave trade.

I came across African waist beads one day and I adore the concept. I have learned that there are vast reasons as to why women would wear waist beads, from spirituality, to coming of age, to healing, and even to tell men when they are....ah..... "available"

Several sources to start you on your journey about African waist beads: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9hSKDr33nk

https://www.meandmywaist.com/waist-beads-uses/

https://answersafrica.com/the-african-waist-beads-significance-and-uses.html

http://www.griotsrepublic.com/whats-waist-beads/

http://waistbeadsbyfatou.tumblr.com/info

 I hope that I managed to write this concept pretty well. If there is some glaring errors please let me know. I am still learning.

Also, I have an M’Baku version of this story. 

[fuck-customers]

FAQ’s

I decided to get around to making a full FAQ to add to the sidebar. If I’ve missed anything, let us know.

Do you accept fuck coworker and manager submissions?

Yes we do! A while back we tried running a couple of separate blogs on the subjects but they weren’t successful because we continued getting asks and submissions here about coworkers and managers. Instead of just rejecting these we decided to accept them because they are a part of why customer service sucks. Changing the name of the blog isn’t necessary and would hinder the ability of our old and even new followers to find us if we suddenly just changed. We’ve been Fuck Customers for years, and it’s going to stay that way no matter how the blog evolves.

Why is the inbox/submission box closed?

We need to catch up because we’re neck deep in back log.

Can I use fan mail to submit my stories since the inbox is closed?

For the love of God no! This clogs the inbox up so bad and makes the process of catching up so much harder! Please be patient! We can’t reopen in a timely manner if we have to sift through and delete fan mail submissions that had no place being submitted in the first place in that format. Even when the inbox is open we delete those. The faster we can reopen the better. That all depends on our inbox remaining closed and uncluttered by fan mail. I may seem rude saying this, but it has become a serious problem and is hindering progress a LOT.

Why hasn’t my submission posted yet?

See here.

Who are the mods?

Abby, and Rodney.

Can you tag (insert thing)?

We used to, but with how big the blog has become it is unrealistic to be able to tag absolutely every single thing. We’re going to have to trust that our followers will be able to put trigger warnings before their own asks and submissions. We get up to 200 new asks and submissions a day on top of our personal and professional lives, so keeping up with posting/queuing is top priority.

Do you need anymore mods? Can I be one?

Ultimately this is up to Mandie, but at the moment the answer is no. Three is more than enough. You know what they say about too many cooks in the kitchen.

What don’t you post?

Anything racist, transphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, etc for starters. Anything not on topic to customer service is a big one too. We also don’t accept customers whining about employees. There is a line where it might be acceptable, though, like a case where a customer may see a manager or coworker abusing an employee. But if you’re bitching because someone smashed your bread then you are in the wrong place. Go to yelp. Fan mail is not the proper course of submitting your questions or stories. Use the ask or submission options and if the inbox is closed then check back later. Finally, hate mail. We get a lot of it and it’s a waste of space. Now, sometimes we do post one of any of these simply to drag your ass through the coals. Catch us on a bad day and expect to get roasted. Don’t be an asshole and you’re fine. We also try not to post anything that includes real store names, so try to use a fake one.

Why have I been blocked?

If you said anything offensive in a note towards us or another follower then you will be blocked. That could be death threats, telling someone to kill themselves, racism, homophobia, basically being an asshole. If you’re dumb enough to send hate mail without being anon, whether it’s to us or another follower, you’ll also get blocked. We do not tolerate that shit.

I requested my submission be posted anonymous! Why did it get posted or why wasn’t it posted?

It is your responsibility to submit anon. We post what is given to us in a format that tumblr allows(why we don’t post fan mail btw). If we were to post your submission anonymous we would have to cut and paste. Multiply that by 100 per day and we’d be swamped. If it accidentally gets posted that is on you, but most of the time we just delete it.

I found something on here offensive! I’m sending hate mail right now!

You know that is the equivalent of asking to see the manager, right? Just skip the post and move on, you’re holding up the line.

*This does not include reporting posts that were accidentally posted that we would definitely remove. If you’re polite about it that is fine, but if you’re going to yell at us and tell us you’re unfollowing then that’s customer like territory. We get a lot of hate mail when all you need to do is point it out nicely. We also don’t condone sending hate mail to other followers. Maybe what they said was offensive, but sometimes good people don’t realize that their wording wasn’t that great. Sending hate mail isn’t the proper way to get your point across and help them learn from the situation.*

If I’ve missed any questions that need to be added let us know. These are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

Why hasn’t my submission posted?

We get this question a lot so I thought I’d compile a list:

1.) You sent it through fan mail. We do not post anything sent that way since it does not include an option to queue or post it, just reply. We stopped copy pasting submissions a long time ago.

2.) You included a store name. Some of these slip through, but for the most part these get deleted for the safety of your job and this blog. There are actually people whose job it is is to hunt down stories like these and punish those who tell them.

3.) You requested to be anonymous without actually submitting on anon. Again, we do not copy paste submissions.

4.) You said something extremely offensive. Such as racist, ableist, homophobic, xenophobic, etc. Sometimes you might find we will call you out on it, but for the most part these posts are deleted.

5.) You sent hate mail. We will sometimes destroy you in response, but we delete 99% of these.

6.) The subject matter has been talked about to death. After a while we stop beating the dead horse with a stick.

7.) You posted a customer complaint. Yes, we will post good experiences praising an employee, but if you’re here to complain about an employee from a customer point of view then you’re in the wrong place.

8.) Rarely tumblr will eat the post. If your submission hasn’t posted in a month and it does not fit the rules above then resend it.

9.) Also extremely rare we might have accidentally deleted it. Again, if it hasn’t posted in a month and doesn’t fit the first 6 rules resend it. I think this has only happened twice to me personally though.

10.) It’s already queued or still in our inbox waiting to be queued or posted. We get a lot of submissions and asks, so you’ll need to be patient.

11.) Also, if you send a long submission through several asks instead of the submission link then we’ll delete them all. It is difficult to find all the parts.

12.) It isn’t on topic for the blog or any conversation happening on the blog.

13.) Asking to become a mod. We’re not accepting new mods.

14.) Complaints about what has been posted that does not fit the criteria on this list. This is rare, but it happens.

15.) Anything that seems like it’s an advertisement.

16.) Your post did not seem like it was related to customer service in any way. If you did experience at work then you need to make it clear.

[octaviaobviously]

Hey! I understand that the tag "Lincoln would be so proud of queue" is mainly to let people know it was a queued post/you're not necessarily online, BUT it made me wonder, would you say that he is proud of her now? I think part of him always will be, especially of her willingness to become a unifying factor, but I'm not sure how he would feel about some of the other things that changed while she took control. What do you think? :) - Sarah aka prettyawesometvshows

Hi!

Yes, that’s the tag I use to make sure you guys know I’m not around (although that doesn’t matter much, you can always come and talk to me and I’ll just reply to it when I see it, lol). I really loved hearing Indra tell Octavia that and I loved Octavia’s reaction to it. It meant everything to her and for the first time since she lost him, she could actually feel close to him again and I don’t think you can overestimate the importance of that. It helped her make peace with his death and therefore with her brother (although Bellamy himself helped with that, too, of course).

As for your actual question, I don’t think you could say he’d be “proud” of her right now, but I also don’t think he’d be angry or disappointed. Octavia wanted to unite the clans and she succeeded, to some extent. But what you have to understand about Octavia is that she never wanted to be a leader. She didn’t join the conclave so she could become the next Commander or whichever title someone following Lexa would have chosen for themselves, she joined the conclave because she wanted to fight for the survival of mankind and because she wanted to make sure that all clans would live (I’m pretty sure she was the only champion entering with that state of mind, except maybe for Roan - although then again, the others lost so we’ll never know what they would’ve chosen). That’s all. She won and became Wonkru’s leader by default but it was never what she was after. She didn’t ask to become the person everyone would look at, she didn’t ask to become the person deciding over life of death (and far less serious) matters. This was forced upon her simply because she wanted to do something good: save as many people as possible.

Then those first 46 (or whatever lol) days in the bunker happened and we saw a happy, kind, more or less carefree version of Octavia: all she wanted was to spar with the people she cared about and just sit out those five years until she could return to the only home she ever had: the ground. But the clans decided otherwise, they decided that Octavia won the conclave so she became their new leader, and she was forced into leading them or else. So she did, she became a leader, and she was not a bad one. The clans called for blood because some people stole blankets and she put them in their place, saying that stealing blankets was not a reason to be murdered. She wanted to be a peaceful leader, like Lincoln taught her. Even when it became obvious that population reduction would be necessary, she decided against sacrificing innocent people and decided to ration the food in order to give everyone a fighting chance. She never wanted people to die in that bunker and I think a lot of people are forgetting that. She actually did everything in their power to keep the twelve clans, who had actually always had a very violence-based society, at peace, and it was working.

Until Skaikru did what Skaikru does best, which is believe they have more right than any other human being to survival, because… well, why, exactly? Because Jaha found the bunker? Correct, but that doesn’t mean it was Skaikru’s automatically, the rules of the conclave stated that the winner would get to decide what would happen with the bunker, not the winner’s clan. So Octavia and Octavia alone was allowed to decide after she won and Skaikru should’ve accepted that instead of whining about it like they always do. Kara was wrong to go off at Octavia about it because the bunker was Octavia’s, not Skaikru’s. If Kara wanted to decide what would happen with it, then she should’ve entered the conclace herself but instead she was happy to let Octavia risk her life, like all of Skaikru, and then she (and the rest) started blaming her when the outcome wasn’t what they had hoped. And what did Octavia do, after having been disrespected like that again by the people she owes literally nothing? She still worked her ass off to find a solution so only the guilty would die, she risked her own life again so the innocent would be spared and she’s getting shit for it: story of her life, really. She had to kill those people so only the traitors would die and it made her sick to her stomach, which was shown in that later scene where she rests her head on her table and a single tear makes its way down her cheek. She didn’t want to kill those people, hell, my girl never wanted to kill again and circumstances (read: Skaikru) forced her into it just like she was forced into this role of leader she never wanted to have. Those kills deeply traumatized her, and she had been through so much already, I think that Skaikru’s betrayal made something inside of her finally snap.

I think that for 46 days, Octavia allowed herself to believe that life would finally be calm and peaceful, that she’s finally get a chance to be happy, and then life (again, read: Skaikru) stabbed her in the back and the dream shattered and she became a killer yet again. And then what was she going to do with the guilty she saved from Wonkru’s justified anger along with the innocent? Was she going to lock them up and waste valuable ressources on people who betrayed her the first chance they got? Wonkru would absolutely lose their shit and they’d be right to do so, so she became a killer again, although this time she didn’t have to take her blade and use it herself.

The fighting pits are the best solution Octavia could’ve come up with, no matter how you look at it. Not only did she give the guilty a chance to win back their freedom (whereas on the Ark, committing a crime no matter how small meant a certain death), she also made it into a way to keep the grounders (who, as I’ve stated before, have always been violence-based) calm and accepting of her leadership and on top of that, the population reduction the bunker so desperately needed was taken care of. By justice. Not arbitry, not vengeance, justice. To all the haters out there, what should she have done differently? How should she have ruled the people she never wanted to rule in the first place? She didn’t kill or lose 386 people, she saved 814. Had it been anyone but Octavia as osleya, the bunker would’ve eliminated itself because no one would’ve found the strength and the backbone Octavia had to do what had to be done. That’s why I have such a problem with Bellamy and Clarke’s judgemental asses: they weren’t there. They don’t know what the situation was like. They just saw something they didn’t like and decided to blame Octavia for it, which is entirely ridiculous. It was the only solution Octavia had to save as many people as she could. She kept 814 grounders safe for more than six years, I think she deserves some credit for that.

And then of course there’s the person she became, blodreina, and like I said, no, I don’t think Lincoln would be “proud” of my beloved blodreina. I think he’d be worried about her mental condition, having had to be so fearless and so cold and so strong and so consequent for so long, and I think he would take his sweet time to nurse her back to health. Octavia isn’t a bad person, she’s not a villain, she’s not even in need of a redemption arc because she did nothing she should be redeemed for. She’s a warrior, a soldier who has been in a state of war for far too long so that now it’s all she can see. She needs and deserves peace and love - and sadly it looks like she won’t be getting any of that any time soon.

[lynnmavis]

Design for Inclusivity - Digital Technologies to Empower Everyday Living Event Reflection

The second design event I attended was “Designing for Inclusivity – Digital Technologies to Empower Everyday Living”.

The first segment was “Inclusive Design for Education and Work Readiness” shared by Mr Francis Tan, Chief Executive Officer of Trampolene. The second segment was “Inclusive Design using Conversational AI” shared by Mr Ianton Tan, Chief Executive Officer of MoWin Digital.

Trampolene 

Mr Francis Tan began by sharing how websites and application are usually built for neurotypicals. However, there are many products that are not catered to the needs of the physically disabled, youths with special needs and elderly. Therefore, he emphasises the need to understand your clients and users well. He goes on to list some examples such as:

- How many wheelchair accessible swimming pools are there in Singapore?

- How does a child with muscular dystrophy use a toothbrush?

- How does a person with visual impairment travel to work everyday?

This reminded me of the usefulness of rigorous interviews and testing to ensure a product is useful. As designers, we might not be aware of certain issues even if we put a lot of effort into the design considerations. Therefore, user feedback is very important. In designing an application to aid wheelchair users, do we then have to consider if the user is speaking from the view of a manual wheelchair user or a battery-operated wheelchair user or others? Is there then a significant difference and should additional options be given for the users to toggle? This is where rigorous interviews, testing and follow-ups is necessary as it allows us to ask why and understand the reasoning behind their actions – in turn building a more effective product.

In the sharing by Mr Francis Tan, he gave a case study on the application called iGAIN. iGAIN is a software which uses gamification to help children and young adults with learning difficulties and special needs to learn different skills such as language and numeracy. He mentioned that many special education schools are typically half-day. This means the application can continue to engage them when they return home. In developing this application, he mentioned that it is important to understand the target audience and figure “who are you trying to serve” and also what are their challenges. In the development, Trampolene invited caregivers, allied professionals and teachers to design the content. 

Linking back to a past experience interning at a Special Education school, I find this application extremely useful. During the internship, I had to hand cut and laminate certain cue cards and attach Velcro to the cards. For students who needed more assistance, most of their activities included matching different pieces with the Velcro stuck on them. This also meant that as educators, we were unable to switch up the difficulty level or content of the learning resources easily. With this application, the content can be modified easily and customised according to a student’s learning style and ability. This will also save a lot of time and resources. Furthermore, it is important to engage with the educators because they know the triggers of their students well. This could be helpful in designing with certain modes such as volume or vibrancy restrictions as certain students are very sensitive to sound and colours.

I think something we (or I) might tend to overlook is other potential users (of e.g. an application) aside from the main target users. For instance, linking it back to the individual project – I think it is important to not only consider the target users of the application but also the brands that will be interested in the application. As my individual project work towards building a tool for users to shop and dress easier, one main stakeholder will also be the apparel brands that will want to feature their products on the application. Therefore, it is valuable to seek feedback from participating brands to offer target users an even seamless shopping experience. For instance, as I incorporated a “Scan to Add” feature on the application, it can only be useful if the majority of online and physical retailers incorporate a QR Code on their product tags. As a hybrid application, it is not only a shopping tool but also an application with social networking features. For brands which wish to create a public account, how can they host a live try-on easier on the application? Are there some features that these retailers might need to facilitate live purchases?

In another case study shared by Mr Tan, smartBFA is an application that provides real-time barrier-free access navigation for wheelchair users. Mr Tan mentioned that wheelchair users have to consider more things while planning for a trip outdoors. For instance, they have to leave with their battery full because if a route is obstructed, they might have to take a much longer, wheelchair accessible route to their destination. Since wheelchair accessible toilets are not ready available, wheelchair users also tend to drink less water and minimise consumption of food before they begin their journey. These are many things that we might fail to consider as a designer. In general application design, it might be more useful to consider the concerns of the designer, client and the user. However, in inclusive design, it seem that a heavier focus should be on the actual user themselves.

MoWin Digital 

In the sharing by Mr Ianton, he spoke on ALEF which is one of their martech products which involves the use of conversational AI. More importantly, ALEF also involve one additional element – vernacular. This refers to the consideration of the dialect spoken by people in the country or region. Using conversational AI, Ianton also shared some examples of application such as unmanned customer service kiosk for hotels and contactless intelligent elevator control. That said, I feel that designers have to be careful with it. Aside from undergoing rigorous testing to make the product better, I believe it is also a necessity to provide alternative options for the user. For instance, a customer might want to get a drink from the concierge which could count as a simple task and could have been done faster when spoken to the staff. However, unmanned customer service might bring some complications and miscommunication if the kiosk is unable to identify the request of the user. Building on to the previous blog post on the importance of customer touchpoints, a miscommunication with such solutions might end up destroying a smooth user experience. Therefore, a set of criteria has to be fulfilled by the design. For instance, ease of use and whether the design is intuitive enough for a first-time user to navigate through. After all, many hotel guests are usually not regulars. Personally, I am easily excited when I get to use new technologies and if I can complete a task I set out to do rather easily in a contactless manner. However, I can imagine someone in a rush to be very frustrated if they are unable to convey their message to an unmanned customer service kiosk and if there is no one around to help. Also, I think it is useful to be mindful of whether the target audience are largely tech savvy or not.

Mr Francis Tan also raised the possibility of using conversational AI to help individuals with speech deficit. Real life scenarios can be simulated for the individual to practice their speaking skills in a public setting. This was a rather innovative idea. Together with the above hotel example, I find context one of the most crucial considerations. The speech deficit example made me realise that the opportunity to improve on a skill you are lacking privately might be more useful and less intimidating. Likewise, in the hotel kiosk example, it might be more useful if users can complete their task or request for a service privately. If there really is a miscommunication, the user need not be frustrated due to more people queuing behind him. In designing a product, it is therefore important to not only test but also follow through how a user will use the product potentially, and consider as many types of scenarios and setting as possible – peak hours, non-peak hours, seasonal, weekday or the weekends etc.

Towards the end, Mr Francis Tan also shared that Trampolene conducts a lot of ethnographic research as they have to observe their users in real life scenarios. As mentioned above, one key takeaway was the differing points of emphasis for different types of design. For inclusive design, I feel that it is almost always necessary to conduct ethnographic research as you are building a product that caters to a specific group of users. This is why more than just an interview, it might be much more useful to follow and observe a user closely using actual, real-life scenarios.

[whichmortgage]

FCA confirms mortgage payment holidays will be reviewed if lockdown extended further

The Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) has confirmed it will again review mortgage payment holidays and other forbearance measures for borrowers if the national lockdown is continued further. The regulator’s interim chief executive Christopher Woolard (pictured) said it believed half of those people who had taken an initial break were now able to pay. Speaking on the regulator’s own Inside FCA podcast, Woolard agreed that extending lockdown would need the mortgage payment holidays to be considered again. “Clearly, if there are further restrictions that need to be placed on for health reasons, if the situation becomes more complicated in some way, then we’ll have to think about how we adjust to those circumstances,” he said. “But we’re very much trying to provide a smooth way of getting as many people back to what feels almost like normality from the point of view of their finances, if we possibly can.” Last week the FCA confirmed it would be extending the mortgage payment holiday availability for another three months, but lenders are being given more scope to see if borrowers can afford to make some repayments when making a second application. Woolard emphasised that while lenders were being asked to bare the burden in the short-term, borrowers would also feel it in the longer term though extended mortgages and rolled up interests. “So it’s everyone’s best interest to actually get back towards payment wherever that is possible or even partial payment, but we have to recognise that there’s an ongoing situation here,” he said. Half can begin payments Overall, he noted that around 1.7 million people had applied for a mortgage holiday, as many as a fifth of borrowers at some banks and building societies. “About half of that group are people who perhaps thought they were going to lose a job or have some other kind of impact, and in fact they’re in a position where they could still afford to pay now that that ninety day period is coming to an end,” Woolard said. “At the same time, about 40 per cent of that group are still impacted by coronavirus, so for example you might be a hairdresser, you can’t get back into the salon or the barber shop because there are closures in place but we also know that as soon as those closures begin to lift and ease, there will be a queue of people probably all with quite dodgy lock down haircuts queuing up to be served. “So, for someone like that, there’s still the need for temporary help to continue beyond the 90 days and what we’ve proposed is that should continue to be in place and the banks and building societies and other lenders should offer that and a range of options for people.” Continued forbearance necessary However, Woolard also acknowledged there were a number of people who were being more severely impacted financially and would need other types of forbearance. “Finally, there’s a small group for whom unfortunately perhaps their finances weren’t in the best of health even before the crisis began and coronavirus has been the final straw,” he continued. “Obviously those people do need to have formal structured debt advice and to have payment plans and that kind of forbearance put in place for them, but what we’re trying to achieve here is a situation with mortgages where if you need help, help is available from your bank or building society and it’s tailored to you to allow you to get through the worst effects of the immediate shock from coronavirus.” Click here to view original web page at www.mortgagesolutions.co.uk Read the full article

[bozorrshopping]

The five great benefits of shopping online

1. Competitive prices and discounts:

Probably the first attribute that regular buyers of online items will talk to you about is price , since online products are significantly cheaper. And though it doesn't happen all told cases, it's common. There are companies that handle a different price on the internet to promote sales in this space, which you will not be able to find in their physical stores.In extension, companies working in Colombia have taken models of discount seasons that endured abroad, such as Black Friday , which according to terms provided by PayU, the platform

to sell and receive payments online, during the three days of Black Friday promotions of 2017 were made over a million transactions, which represented a milestone for regional trade. Online shopping in India is getting pretty much the most important factor

2. Security:

Although for several this might be seen as a drawback, it is actually a strength of online shopping .

Since trajectory stores handle security software that safeguards financial information and does not allow it to be stolen at any time. What is reflected in the statistics, because according to the CCCE, the level of fraud for internet purchases in Colombia is 0.45% , below other Latin American countries such as Peru (0.52%) or Mexico (1.5 %) .

However, what you should keep in mind when Online Shopping is that you must take the necessary precautions indicated by banks and control agencies, such as accessing your online bank accounts by typing the web address yourself at the search engine or never provide information outside the authorized platforms.

In addition, shopping online can be much safer than doing it physically , because you do not have to carry large sums of money, but by accessing your personal electronic devices you can buy almost anything by doing a couple of clicks.

3. Availability and home delivery:

Surely it has ever happened to you that you needed to buy something and when you arrived at the store, it was closed. Another advantage of shopping online is that stores are always open, 24 hours a day , seven days a week, without queuing and accessing from anywhere in the world.

Although this sounds like a television commercial, it is true and is one of the main strengths of the digital market, since regardless of the time you have available you

can create purchases and conjointly receive them reception in your home or workplace.

So in addition you are doing not need to worry concerning searching for transportation to hold things that will be giant or significant and, in several cases, you must not cancel

any added value for this service.

In addition, you should not worry about the conditions in which the shipment arrives, since the seller must guarantee the quality and integrity of the products , because it depends on the good reputation of his brand and work that other buyers become customers, since all opinions are shared on the internet, what we will talk about in the next point.

4. Easy to compare and have recommendations:

It is usually said that the best way to advertise is having good recommendations; Well, on the internet this principle of popular wisdom becomes more accurate than ever , since buyers often share their experiences in blogs, forums, or in the spaces dedicated to writing reviews that are located just below the product catalogs.

So, if a seller is not good, deliver a product in poor condition, send an item different from the one ordered or this did not meet the expectations of the buyer , surely many people will know and they will think twice Before wanting to become customers.

One of the clearest examples of this digital behavior occurs when, for example, someone wants to go on vacation and searches the internet for different hosting options. In most specialized portals users can see and compare prices, services and reviews of people who have already stayed at the hotels; reading real and uncensored opinions that can clearly give you a more detailed idea of what you will find in this place, all this before paying.

5. Variety of products:

When shopping online you can access products that are not common or that are not yet available in physical stores in your country through exclusive internet pre-sales . In addition, it is possible to make online purchases of products that have not yet been launched in Colombia and import them, either for your personal use or even to resell them. In any case, with this you will be more updated than the users of the conventional national market.

Visit Us for detailed information on Fashion Products Online

[loiswolf]

Day 44 July 15 Castletownbere - Castlecove 94kms

Day 44 July 15 Castletownbere - Castlecove  94kms

I almost got caught out for taking Shirley into my room last night. After I got back from town with my dinner I realised that because my room had an external door, I could take Shirley in with me.

Well the breakfast lady had a look around the outside of the BnB and couldn’t see her, so she thought I was gone. Breakfast wasn’t until 8:30, so when she asked me about it I was able to say quite honestly that Shirley was all loaded up and waiting at the side of the building.

Breakfast was worth waiting for. I had snuck in my fruit and yoghurt and the BnB supplemented it with smoked salmon and scrambled eggs. They also have this thing here they call brown bread. It’s not like our whole meal brown bread. It’s home baked and very thick and dense. It’s great with butter and local jam piled onto it.

Finally off to a late start at 9:15 I walked Shirley down the gravel drive and hopped on when we  got to the road. Uh oh, something didn’t feel right. The back tyre was a bit soft. I pumped it up and hoped for the best. I should have noticed it was not right last night when I was giving her a bit of a clean and some oil. Perhaps it had been like that when I rode back from the shops with dinner. It’s hard to know. Every time I go out in the evening I have some sort of drastic drop in blood sugar levels and get all sweaty and light headed. I just pretend there’s nothing wrong and I’m all right once I get back to my room and eat something. The bike could have been wobbly last night and I wouldn’t have noticed.

So I thought I could probably keep putting air in the back tyre every 25kms or so but in the end it wasn’t necessary. I really don’t know what happened.

Due to my even later start I decided not to stop until 50kms at Kenmare. Of course I did have to stop for some photos. The scenery here is quite dramatic.

Even thought the sun wasn’t shining quite as brightly as usual the countryside was still photo worthy.

Lauragh was at 25kms and had a couple of tempting looking places to stop but I really wasn’t hungry so I kept going. Except for those photos of course.

.

Around here I entered the Ring of Kerry. I don’t actually know what that means except that accommodation becomes very expensive and there are lots and lots of tourists around because it’s peak season. From Lauragh I had a five kilometres climb followed by a five kilometres descent.

The hills here are not anywhere near as hard as I was led to believe. They are only about 5 or 6% and its easy enough to maintain an ok speed when climbing. The terrible hills in England were always somewhere between 12 and 18% and I really crawled up them. This is a photo from up the top.

The run down was great.

I was headed for the end of the bay.

And from there it was only another 5kms to Kenmare. Hmmm, more like a nightmare! The place was packed! The first bakery/cafe I saw had people queued out the door. I figured a place like that would have other cafes and I found a less crowded one down the other end of the main road. I even managed to get a small outside table to sit and enjoy my pie at.

Once again I had done my homework and knew there was a Lidl out the other side of town. I knew tonight’s accommodation would not be near anything so I bought something I could have cold for dinner and all my usual carbohydrates.

Delayed by a slight altercation at the checkout ( the girl made a mistake and I had to pay again even though my docket read that my card had been debited. The manager backed her up and I had to pay again....I hope they didn’t rip me off). I had been a little ambitious with my chocolate purchase and had a bit of trouble getting everything onto Shirley but eventually I was off.

40kms to go and I planned to stop at Sneem to eat my pretzel.

It looked like a nice little town but there were so many people there I couldn’t even see a space on a park bench to stop and sit. Meh, might as well keep going. It was only going to be another 15kms.

It occurred to me that I hadn’t seen any coaches carrying these large groups of people. As soon as I had that thought regular coaches appeared , fortunately coming from the other direction. It was hard enough for the cars to get around me, buses would have been horrible.

The back tyre was still good when I arrived at my accommodation, Staigue Fort House.

It’s supposed to be cheap for the area but it’s well above what I usually pay. My hostess Sheila is very relaxed and has allowed me to use the fridge, so I am happy. Sometimes I think I should have bought a little fridge and a trailer. That way I could have been ‘Cycling ‘round Ireland with a Fridge’. ( sorry, most of you won’t get that reference but I just had to put it in).

There is also a microwave, so I might be able to heat up my spicy chicken wings. I’ve already locked myself out of my room but as you can see from the photo ( my room is the two windows to the right of the upstairs door in the middle of the building ) it took about 20 seconds to get back in because my windows were open. Other places I’ve stayed in , including last night, I have been unable to lock the door at all so I just leave them unlocked. This one locked by itself without the key.

Time to go organise that dinner....seeya!

[writingfromkitchenator]

Sunshine

Written for the 2017 Louden Swain SPN Mini Bang that @mrswhozeewhatsis is running.  I don’t normally do song fics, so this was a new experience for me, certainly a new challenge, and I hope it’s come out okay.

It’s been slightly beta read, but not completely (she needed to sleep and I needed to get it queued) so hopefully there aren’t too many mistakes.

It’s kind of a Chuck x OC, but it depends on how you read it.  Can also be a Dean x OC.  Hopefully it makes sense.

Words: 2000 (Yeah, exactly)

Based on the song Gamma Ray by Louden Swain

Enjoy!

They say that nothing in our lives is free

It keeps me runnin'

There were more than a few looks towards the woman walking down the street, all confidence and intelligence.  She didn’t fit in here, that much was clear, with high boots, wide sunglasses and permed, thick, blonde hair, she gave an air of money that was almost unseen in the area.

Then they tell me that my saving grace

Is that I look so stunnin'

She was very aware of the stares but she didn’t care, not today, she was used to this, used to being out of place, and normally she’d send the occasional scowl or wink, depending on her mood, but today was different.

Today she had a goal.

I could indulge all the evil ways

My mind is going

She stopped at a store, buying a bag full of food and a six pack of beer.

Outside again, further down the street, someone wolf whistled and was responded to by her middle finger in the air, turning the whistle to a shout.

She didn’t have time for that, she had a place to be.

As she came to a small street, she paused, looking glaringly up at the sun for a moment, the heat stinging at her skin, and huffed.

Then I'm liable for the human race

It keeps me running, looks so stunning

Soaking up the Gamma Ray

She bee lined for a house, knocking on the door several times, her foot tapping.

“Who is it?”  A male voice called.

She snorts.  “Yeah, like you don’t know.”

At that, the door opened, Chuck frowning at her.  “How am I supposed to know?  It’s not like I get many visitors in the first place.”

Preparing for an early grave

Gotta do somethin'

“Uh huh.”  She pushed her way in, ignoring his slightly annoyed look. “And I suppose you’re too hungover most of the time too?”

“Exactly,” He followed after her, frowning.  “Why are you here anyway Caroline?”

Caroline raised an eyebrow, looking over the top of her glasses, revealing shining brown eyes. “End of the world and all that?  Ring any bells?”

Chuck blinks. “Oh.  Right.”  Then frowns. “Don’t you have anyone else to be spending it with?”

She scoffs, pushing her glasses on top of her head, and unpacks the things onto his table, revealing mostly snack food.  “Please. I have the best seat right next to God.”

He sighs.  “Caroline, I’ve told you-”

“Tell me all you want Chuck, I know the truth.”  She said in a little sing song way, stepping over to the fridge and putting the beer inside. “You know, clairvoyant and all that?”

Dry food will be fun to consume

Won't it be something? (Won't it be something?)

“Clairvoyant or witch?” Chuck asked, stepping forward and grabbing a bag of chips.  “Honestly, it really is questionable at times.”

Caroline snorts in amusement.  “Bit of both, but you know that.”

“Yeah, because I’m a prophet.”  He said through a mouthful of food.  ”I have to know these things to write it all down.”

And then I'll illustrate my great escape

If the end is coming

“Right.”  She drawled out, grinning.  “You’re something else Chuck, you know that?”

He shrugs.  “It’s not like I like this anymore than you do.”

“Maybe,” She digs through the cupboards for a glass, filling it with water.  “You could at least make it cold you know, some of us want to die out still in some sort of healthy condition.”

“I’m not God!”  He exclaimed.  “Even if I was, the warmth is a lot more appealing.”

2012 so the Mayans say

It keeps us running, Keeps us sunning

Soaking up the Gamma rays

“Heat, yes, scorching sun, not so much.”  Caroline grins, leaning against his sink to watch him.  “We’ve got plenty of time to argue this you know, but I know who’s going to win.”

Chuck rolled his eyes and went back over to his desk, still eating away at the chips in his hand. “Come on, I’ve still got to write this out, give me a break.”

“You’re…you’re seriously going to write this out?”  She asked, following with a deep frown.  “Despite everything that’s happening, that’s your main concern?”

“What else would you have me do?”  He asked, fixing up the paper slightly skewed on his desk before sitting in front of his computer.

“Oh, I don’t know, fix things?”

There's a thought that 

When it does come 

The flood will set us free

Chuck sighed. “What?  You don’t think I would if I could?”

She folded her arms. “How long are we going to play this game Chuck?  I was the one that led Sam and Dean to you in the first place, then I stayed, sure, partly out of curiosity, I wasn’t sure at first, but then because I realised you needed it, no matter who you were.”

“Needed what?”  He asked.  “I’m doing fine.”

“Company.”  She said bluntly.  “And you can't tell me-” She was cut off as her phone started to ring.

Chuck glanced around at her a little guiltily as she answers the phone.

But we don't know

Hell we don't know anything

Anything

“Hel-What?  Woah, Dean, slow down.  What do you mea-” Caroline held the phone away from her ear as Dean practically yelled down the other end.  “Okay, okay, just calm down for two seconds- No, I will tell you to calm down because being like that is going to get nothing done.”  There was a pause.  “Okay, I know you're not feeling better but maybe you can actually talk to me.”

Chuck watched as she disappeared into another room and bit his lip, looking at the half typed page in front of him.

Dean wasn't sure why she always answered his calls, wasn't sure why she turned up for him, especially for this, but there Caroline was, looking as if it wasn't the end of the world and she wasn’t there to die, two pistols in hand.

“What?”  She asked him.

He was trying not to smile and shakes his head.  “Nothing. Just wishing I could’ve seen more of this side.”

“Show ain’t over yet Dean.” Caroline said, striding past him. “Now come on, we going to stop this or what?”

Dean sighs.  “Yeah, let’s go kick some ass.”

Caroline beams back at him.  “You do this every day don’t you?  It’s all normal?”

He scoffs, matching her stride.  “Normal?  Does that even exist in our line of work?”

“Depends on what you get used to.” She said.  “Mind, I guess end of the world shouldn’t really be on that list.”

“Sweetheart, if it’s just you and me, I really don’t mind.”

Chuck hit print on the page, carefully folding it up and slipping it into his draw before clearing what was on the screen, already typing away when she walked back in, looking grim.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“Was it necessary to allow Sam to do that?”  She asked and he faced her, surprised.

“What?  You didn't see it?”  He asked, a little too earnestly.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Caroline's eyes flash dangerously.  “We both know it doesn't work that way, so don't be a dick Chuck.”

“Hey, I'm just asking.”  Chuck holds up his hands a little in surrender before returning to his screen, but can feel her gaze boring into his back.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“Uh huh, and you’ve managed to avoid my question.”  She said.

“I don’t know what you expect me to say, I don’t have any control.  Sam thought that doing this would help, that he’d be able to break Lucifer’s will and put him back.”  Chuck typed away and then spoke very quietly under his breath.  “Brave, but foolish.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

He jumped as Caroline came and leaned against his desk.  “So then damned well stop it Chuck, or what?  Are you enjoying this?  You like the mess that’s been made?”

“Do I look like I’m enjoying this Caroline?”  He asked, gesturing the half empty bottle of whiskey.  “I mean come on, I’m hardly functioning.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Caroline gives an impatient huff, pushing off the desk and storming off back into the kitchen, Chuck rolling his eyes as he hears her rummaging through the cupboards and draws. A little nervously, he gets up and follows her.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“Helping Dean.”  She snapped, pulling a small pouch out of her pocket.  “I can’t go and save the idiot, but I can at least give him a little help from here.”

“You can’t go?”  Chuck asked, tilting his head a little.

They say that nothing in our lives is free

Keeps us runnin'

She glares up at him for a moment, raising an eyebrow.  “Not unless you want me to?”

“Of course not!”  He said quickly.

“Then stop bloody being a dick!”  She threw up her hands for a moment, exasperated.  “Honestly.  No wonder the angels are the way they are, they learnt it from you.”

Chuck opened his mouth, but then quickly shut it again, watching her work.

Then they tell me that my saving grace

Is that I look so stunnin'

Her spell work was quick and efficient, Chuck watching as she made it look effortless, rolling her neck a little before lighting a match and throwing it into the bowl.

“That was my good bowl.” He whined, watching as it burned and she rolled her eyes.

“I’ll buy you a new one if you were that attached.”  She growled.

Turning to the kitchen window, she flung open the curtains, letting the light stream in, making Chuck shield his eyes.

“Is that necessary?” He asked.

“The spell needs sunlight to work properly.”  She said and then shoots him a look.  “Not to mention your damned house needs it.”

“Yeah, but hungover me doesn’t.”

“Too bad.”

Keep on sunning

Soaking up the Gamma Rays

Caroline draws in a deep breath before letting it out slowly, looking at the burning bowl worriedly. “Hopefully…it’ll be enough.”

But it'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“What was it?”

“Protective luck.” She said.  “I just hope we’re not too far away.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“I’m sure we won’t be.” He said gently.  “They’re lucky to have you.”

Caroline was still staring at the bowl.  “Yeah…but I feel like I should be there still.”

Chuck gives a weak smile before heading to a cabinet and pulling out two glasses.  “Come on, come have a drink with me.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

She looked at him, slightly amused.  “Drinking? That’s your solution?”

He shrugs.  “Seems as good as any.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Caroline sighs and nods in defeat.  “Fine.” She follows him back into the other room, where he sits back at his desk and she pulls a chair over, watching him pour the drinks.

A small smile reaches her. “Well, I did say that the best spot was next to God.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

Chuck shakes his head, returning her smile.  “Then I guess there’s nowhere else I’d rather you be.”

“Oh, admitting it now are we?”  She asked, taking the glass and missing his small shuffle in front of his draw.

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free

“Not a chance.”  He said, smiling.  “But I’ll drink to the possibility.”

Caroline rolls her eyes and leans forward, clinking their glasses.  “To the end of the world then?”

“To the end of the world.”

It'll take a lo-ot more than that

To set us free