#are they paying any attention to the queer people in their own country?

[seblrina]

.

[space-ace-in-the-space-race]

I’m gonna talk about Dead Boy Detectives for a second, specifically Charles and Edwin’s deaths.

Edwin died in a basement and Charles in an attic, and Edwin went to Hell and Charles was presumably meant to go to Heaven. Edwin died by fire (demons from Hell) and Charles died by ice (hypothermia). Edwin was targeted for his queerness and Charles for the color of his skin, the country his mother came from. Edwin never seemed to get along with the boys who would kill him but Charles called his murderers friends until they turned on him. Edwin died by supernatural means while Charles died by run of the mill racist teenagers. They died more than 7 decades apart.

When you look at the details there are so many differences but the story is still the exact fucking same. Two boys who died at the hands of a group of their classmates who decided that they did not fit with the rest of them and therefore must pay the price. Two boys who died on the same grounds of the same school, whose deaths were brushed aside and covered up by people who held the same titles. More than 70 years apart and not a single thing has changed, Charles’ death didn’t get any more attention than Edwin’s, because more than 70 years later the same fucking story happened again.

Edwin’s death didn’t change a damn thing, and it could happen again now because Charles’ death didn’t change a damn thing either. And then the ghosts of two 16 year olds decided that if the adults, if the living weren’t going to change anything then they fucking would. If the living would not grant them justice and would not grant them change, then they fucking would.

Because there was a difference, in the end. Edwin was murdered, and so was Charles, but while Edwin died scared and alone Charles didn’t. Edwin died in a cold, dark basement, but Charles died in warm light of a lantern, even if that warmth wasn’t enough to save him. Edwin died to the sounds of his own screams, his own voice pleading for mercy that would not come, but Charles drifted off to sleep to the sound of a kind boy reading him a book.

The living won’t change. The story could and will keep on repeating because the living will not make sure it doesn’t. The living are messy. But the dead, for all the ways they will never change, will never get any older, they can change the story, at least a bit. Charles and Edwin can’t make sure that no other boy dies at that school, but if the story repeats itself yet again they can make sure the victim is at peace. They can solve the murders and find the lost items and release the spirits who are trapped. The living won’t help the dead, but they can help each other.

So they call themselves the Dead Boy Detectives, form an agency and get an office and help who they can, because they didn’t matter to the living, and many of their clients don’t either. But they matter to the dead.

Their clients matter. And Charles and Edwin matter too.

[hussyknee]

The wild thing about the Vote Blue rhetoric is that according to them, Biden is an uwu helpless baby who's had no power to stop any of the shit that's gone down the last three years but if Trump comes to power he can end democracy as you (don't) know it. You just have to get through this election cycle because the GOP can't find its own ass with both hands and a mirror on a stick and they're breaking apart, but they're also about to transform into the Third Reich. If Biden gets a second term you can totally push him further left when he isn't even up for re-election, but not with half the country on the streets a year out from when he does still need their votes. Biden can't get Netanyahu to stop because he has no power over Israel, but Trump will be able to destabilize democracy all across the world. The enemy is either weak or strong, y'all can't have it both ways.

Also, "If democrats haven't earned your vote, what has the republicans done to earn your complicity"????? You think this is how democracy works??? But oh, that's right you don't have a democracy, you have Evil (genocide without personal enjoyment) and Super Evil (genocide with personal fun). But you need to Vote Blue to save the democracy you don't have. Which they've had three years and one more to get around to saving, just like they had two years to legislate Roe vs Wade and eight before that, but they need another four to do anything.

"We cannot afford to divide the left and alienate voters!" you yell, as you harrass people whose relatives are currently being starved and blown to pieces as the entire world watches, a full year before elections, proving you have no intention of holding the Dems accountable even for a literal genocide. Because your winning strategy here is to scream at people for having a moral compass and basic empathy for their fellow human. These are luxuries you cannot afford because the GOP doesn't have any either, but the two parties are different bro, I swear bro, pay no attention to Hakeem Jeffries standing next to Mike Johnson and Christian Zionists bro, don't look at how much AIPAC has bought and paid for the whole of Congress bro, don't look at the bipartisan support for sending billions to Zionists overseas while cutting funding for every public service bro, don't look at how much more land for fracking they've sold off than Trump ever did bro, don't look at cop city and the border wall and ICE crackdowns and kids still in cages three years later bro, Biden totally controlled COVID and saved millions of lives unlike Trump and the pandemic is definitely not still raging bro, queer and reproductive rights are definitely not flaking off piecemeal under the Dems right now bro, Project 2025 can definitely happen when Obama couldn't even push through Medicaid with a trifecta bro, bro where are you going bro—

[purple-beans]

Going to talk about the state of Dutch politics again. If you ever pay attention to them, please let it be now.

So like. We're now about 18 hours after the polls closed. The PVV has gained 2 more seats than even the exit polls estimated. The major left-wing parties have both immediately positioned themselves as opposition parties, so unless a big shift happens, the slight hope for a center government is pretty much shot through. We are looking at a (far) right cabinet that is going to do their best to fuck everything up and reverse even the little bits of progress that the past half a dozen or so center-right cabinets still managed to pull off.

And yeah I know that Wilders has been acting like he's going to be "milder" than he's been in the past. And I know that half of what the PVV wants they can't do from a simple constitutional and legal standpoint. But the fact is that they got 37 out of 150 seats. Almost a quarter of our electorate. OVER 2.4 MILLION PEOPLE, are apparently willing to agree with the hateful, islamophobic, racist, queerphobic, climate-denying, insane fucking ideas of Geert Wilders and his PVV. Or at the very least, they're willing to be okay with it. Sure not all of them will agree, but a FUCKING QUARTER OF OUR POPULATION is willing to say "okay yeah I'm fine with you saying those things. I'm fine with you implementing these ideas." And that's not even considering those who voted for other parties that hold similar ideals.

That's the worst part of all this to me. I am dreading a far right government. I am dreading which changes they WILL be able to implement. But above all I'm terrified of knowing that over a quarter of our fucking country is just, okay with it. A quarter of the country is willing to vote for the "less morrocans" guy. A quarter of the country is willing to vote for the guy wanting to ban islam. Wanting to pretty much stop taking in any refugees and sending them all back. Wanting to ban fucking LGBT education and what not. I am not even close to being their primary target. Sure I'm trans and queer and what not. But I'm still white and Dutch. I fear not just for myself. I fear way more for those in this country who look at this election, and see a party who downright says they don't belong here. They will face more hate. And I can't do much about that. But the least I can do is not shut up. I can try and show them that there are still plenty people here who do stand with them. And while I don't agree with him on some things, I do agree with Frans Timmermans in saying that at this point, we need to stand up straight, we need to look at the people who feel they might not belong in this country, and tell them we Have. Their. Backs.

And I know there's more shit going on in the world. I know most people on this site don't care much for Dutch politics. But I need to talk about it for once because honestly it's fucking terrifying. We looked on when Trump got elected. We spread your news on all that. Maybe this once, now our own Trump has pretty much won here, you'll look to our country, and at least, see what's going on. It might not be a war or anything on that order of magnitude. But it still fucking matters

[alatismeni-theitsa]

https://www.lifo.gr/stiles/optiki-gonia/kaos-einai-i-shesi-mas-me-ti-mythologia

Can they stop with modern labels? Every time they try to say that ancient Greece was a queer paradise where it was far from this.

It was criticised in society unless the man was powerful and rich. Like it was a tiny minority and they create this narrative of ancient Greece have over 50% being queer or something.

It's time for our xenoi friends and followers to learn another Greek term. Xenolatreia. It means "worship of anything foreign (mainly from the western countries)", which is a widespread phenomenon among Greeks for the past 2 centuries. It's the following sentiment: "Anything that comes out of western countries is good and it should be praised because we here in Greece are a bunch of illiterate monkeys who live on trees, and cannot see the Deeper Message our Superior Westerners show."

Lifo has had some decent articles over the years but this one reeks of xenolatreia. Lifo supports that the Greeks hate the series because it has queer people in it. so it goes on a campaign to show that Greek mythology had queer people. Which, sure, I don't disagree, but it misses the point. While some Greeks surely have been offended just by the existence of queerness, Lifo misses the REAL reason why Greeks in large felt their mythology was butchered by KAOS. They even wrote it in the article themselves:

"Zeus is a paranoid authoritarian dictator in mid-life crisis who fears losing his power and murders his aides to vent. Hera is a promiscuous goddess who repeatedly betrays Zeus and has mutilated mute priestesses for protection. Dionysos is a spoiled and immature zoomer who, apart from pranks, indulges in orgies with all genders. Poseidon a sadistic god of the sea, who tortures the crew on his ship for fun. Prometheus is gay and killed his lover so he could overthrow Zeus. Orpheus is a famous pop singer and Eurydice does not love him. Theseus is black and gay. The Erinyes are tough-as-nails mechs that look like they stepped out of 'Sons of Anarchy'. The Fates resemble a three-member jury in a talent show. The Trojans are a terrorist group that acts against the gods. Crete is more reminiscent of California than the Mediterranean."

Queer and diverse identities in general are nothing bad. The way KAOS mixed everything into a salad is the real bad thing, and the showrunners hide behind the queer representation when they are met with any other kind of criticism. It's the same tactic Lifo follows here. Only extremely stupid people would have an issue if Ganymees and Zeus were a couple in the show when it was also a part of our mythology. The problem about KAOS for the larger population is not the queerness.

Lifo continues:

The idea we have of Greek myths is, at best, a jumble of bits and pieces created by the Greek school: Zeus has sexual relations with mortals, Hera is jealous, Dionysus engages in revelry, Persephone for some reason resides in Hades , a bird eats the flesh of Prometheus, Aphrodite is the most beautiful and Athena the wisest of the bunch, Artemis hunts, Apollo plays the lyre: a very general and vague idea, much more chaotic than the mixing of myths which "Kaos" attempts.

What a shitty argument. Did you pay any attention in school, I wonder?? Do you know that we know our myths also outside the Greek school and that the Greek school teaches based on the ancient sources, and we often read the ancient text itself?? Also, no, the situation here is not more absurd than what KAOS does. The mythology is what it is. KAOS takes an already established thing and makes a turd out of playdoh.

Instead, we demand that a series aiming for commercial appeal follow our preferred script line and stay true to what? In our own obsessions, revisions, angulations and Christian puritanisms?

To our freaking culture, dear Lifo. To the myths we wrote and passed down for two and a half millennia, dear Lifo. They are fairly widespread and they are very difficult to get wrong.

[meraki-yao]

RWRB Movie Analysis: Henry's Seclusion and Perception-Part 2

A little follow-up of this post after I realized something while watching Henry flinch after Alex tried to hold his hand during their Paris date.

This is more up to interpretation but in the same way Henry was isolated in a space without any sort of moral support during the week after the email leaks while Alex wasn’t, I think the same could be possibly said with their view on public displays of affection.

I’m gonna preface by saying that even in the RWRB Movie verse, both UK and USA are evidently mostly LGBT+ friendly. Alex’s US kind of goes without saying, while for Henry, given the sheer amount of people that ended up coming to support him all across the country, I think the same could be said for his UK.

So given that their big environment is LGBT friendly, the difference here is their own circles.

Before President Claremont was elected, Alex was just like any of us, as he put it himself, “an anonymous working class kid”. His socializing circle wasn’t really limited. On top of that both of his parents are democrats. Even before he figured out his own bisexuality, he was definitely exposed to LGBT communities and individuals, colourful queer people who showed off their gender, sexuality and relationship/partner proudly. Besides, from his interaction with Nora, his mom, even Henry during the NYE party, Alex is clearly a physically affectionate person to begin with. He is used to displays of affection, and has see queer public displays of affection.

So when he starts to fall for Henry (which I firmly believed started properly since the state dinner), he doesn’t really register displays of affection as something to be hidden despite now being in a homosexual relationship. This aspect is not that different in his mind. The only times we see Alex really make an effort to conceal it is when they want to… do dirty things, like the polo match (Matthew/Prime release the full scene please) and the DNC hotel visit, which in any case is something that one would make effort to hide even for a bit.

Look at the movie again. Alex reaches out to hold Henry’s hand in Paris, Henry flinches. Alex steps forward to kiss Henry at the airstrip after the night in the V&A, Henry stops him, even if it’s private airstrip with only Henry’s staff. The one sentence Alex said that sent Henry spiralling and trying to break things off was “We could walk through Austin holding hands, and it won’t even matter if anyone sees us.” (which is one of my favourite lines in the book by the way, granted used in a different situation) Alex finds public displays of affection towards Henry very natural.

Henry doesn’t.

However much he loves touching and kissing Alex in private behind closed door throughout the entirety of their relationship, he was never comfortable, or confident for them in public settings, even if there’s actually no one except their own professional secret service/ personal staff there.

And I think one of the contributing reasons is unlike Alex, he never really got to see queer people be openly proud of their identity and partners.

Henry, as the prince, has his social circle and travels limited. You’re not gonna see him on the subway or walking through Trafalgar Square. He’s not gonna be able to walk the streets and just see queer citizens out and about the way Alex did. Given the context clues in the movie, I’m guessing he’s limited to causes the crown wants to serve (veterans, climate, diplomacy, which all have their own values as social issues but doesn’t suit Henry) and unlike the royals in our world (yes I pay some attention to the irl royal family) he couldn’t even choose topics that interest him, that he wants to serve, like arts, LGBT, and mental health (there’s a sequel idea!!! Henry getting to choose how to use his title for causes he’s part of and care about), plus it’s clear his family, the king at least, had no interest in getting involved with LGBT issues, so he didn’t have any chance to approach the community while on duty either. Considering his grandfather warned him against pursuing relationships when he was 18, he probably was forced into some sense of shame or fear regarding any possibility of having a public relationship, which was also part of his argument during the Kensington confrontation. Seeing as Nick and Matthew decided Paris was Henry’s first time with someone he actually had feelings for, I’m guessing past hookups in said “English Boarding School” were done out of sexual frustration and some degree of rebellion, but even then it was more on the sexual side instead of anything truly affectionate, and that was still extremely secretive with stacks of NDAs.

So on Henry’s part, he was secluded in a almost forcefully heteronormative environment, never really got to see people like him in real life, in front of his eyes (reading queer history and news about LGBT rights is very different from seeing it yourself), and was told that this was something to be ashamed about, something he can’t do, something impossible. That’s why he never felt confident enough to ask for touch or touch Alex in anywhere remotely public. (He was drunk at the karaoke, and I think most of the Texas vacation was on the Claremont-Diaz’s private property, so those don’t count)

Until the palace pride protest, where thousand of people like him came to storm the palace with their rainbow flags and banners, their support, and their own identities display.

Faces with this massive display of queer pride right in front of him, Henry, maybe for the first time, sees so many people like them, and he sees that it’s okay for him to be gay, that there is nothing selfish, shameful, repulsive or unacceptable about who he is and who he loves. They’re here for him. They’re just like him. They’re proud of it. They show it.

So this time, in front of his family, a window away from the outside world, it’s his turn to ask for Alex’s hand, held between his. He’s finally confident enough in everything so tell Alex, through a wet smile, “I love you.”

Both of them look out, at the sea of colourful love and pride. Alex, who has seen this many times before in his life, but probably the first time he sees this knowing he’s part of that sea. Henry, who gets to see the crowd be proud of something he’s tried so long to conceal and hide.

Henry can be proud of his sexuality too.

And he shows it, on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, with thousands of people cheering for him and his boyfriend. 

[dearweirdme]

ur recent answer on closeting has made me think over some things. i hope i dont come across as discrediting a member but during jks debut it seemed intentional? the way he was trying to portray a certain image? and the emphasis on “her” pronouns only made it more obvious. hes previously made it a point to keep things gender neutral so the switch up was a little surprising. now im wondering if his desire to become a global pop star initiates a kind of closeting/beard of his own?

Hi anon!

When we look at artists of whom we now know are queer but didn’t at one point, things like that happen quite often. Take Ricky Martin for instance, he was marketed to a female public heavily, he sang about women.. he is also gay and had come out to his mother early on in his life. People might say.. but that was years ago and surely the world has changed by now. The world changes slowly..

Fortunately a lot more queer artists dare to come out and to incorporate their queerness in their art. It is hard to talk about how many artists are still in the closet these days, because how would we know? I’m not paying attention to every artist enough to know which ones are rumored to be queer.. and I also think there’s a part of queer artists that feel there shouldn’t be a need for them to come out, because someone’s sexuality isn’t anyone’s business.

When I think about SK I think they are behind in queer acceptance compared to more western areas (not to be demeaning, I just think that is fact). I think Sk society’s opinion on queerness is what causes many artists to stay in the closet. There’s harsh stories of celebs coming out and losing all their contracts and jobs. It is not an exaggeration when I say queer people have it tough in Sk (and all over the world, but that’s a different conversation).

I don’t think BTS members are exempt from the scrutiny of their own country. No matter how big they get in US or Europe.. they are still Sk’s and SK society ‘s opinions will matter to them.. and especially to BH. It is no wonder that there are so little out queer idols. Statistically speaking that makes no sense.. unless you account for closeting still happening.

I do feel BTS members might be getting a little more room to breathe. I think Tae’s projects include queerness. I suspect Jm also alludes to queerness. They probably do what they can to try and push the boundaries of what’s socially accepted. But I do not think any of them can come out just now.

In Jk’s case though… what is a factor to me is that he didn’t use his own songs. Heteronormativity ia a thing and I think the people he worked with don’t know about his sexuality and just assume he’s straight. There’s ofcourse the possibility of Jk identifying as bi, which would mean he could relate to the songs. But I also think Jk has kinda come to terms with not being out publicly at this time. There’s still a possible queer reading in some of his songs and perhaps that’s enough for him for now.

[itsalinh]

I mean some people clearly do not pay any attention to the show they are watching because what the heck??

1. Lucy is not the villain. She’s not trying to get in the way of Hawk and Tim, ever.

Gosh the sheer amount of hate towards her the past two weeks is insane. How come women in every gay show always receive the hate? Well, maybe some writers were actually lazy and the fastest way the could think of was to villanize women so they could have less a problem to think about. But this is not the case for FT where every character shows their own color, and they have reasons for every action they take.

Yes, she married Hawk. But it was bc everybody expected them to do that since, idk, the very beginning? Bc she adored him and trusted him enough? And not to mention Hawk asked her to marry him? Remind y’all, she’s also the victim of the era.

Yes, she burnt Tim’s letter. It was crazy enough to hear your own mother lecturing you to shut up about your husband’s outside behaviours as long as he comes back home at the end of the day. But actually receiving a letter from his ex-lover, whom is a man, saying that he was still in love with your man, was on another level! Lucy had every right to confront Hawk and made a fuss about everything. Yet she was so calm and reasoned, knowing that if she threw a tantrum then everybody’d know her husband was gay and they’d all suffer. Lucy knew for a fact that even if Hawk did receive the letter, he wouldn’t have done anything at all, so nothing changed.

And I love that she told Tim about it. She did not regret anything, nor felt any shame, just a plain announcement that she knew everything from the start of this marriage already. She did what had to be done. She could’ve been upset with Tim for bringing danger and misery to her family, but she just simply told him about the letter and let the man go. Splendid writing!

2. Hawk is gay. Hawk is not bisexual.

Never know I have to clarify this obvious fact. Him being married to a woman and having sex with her does not mean he’s bisexual. That’s just what gay men do to hide their true nature and to live peacefully in this world. Maybe not the US, but many countries nowadays still do not approve same-sex marriage, and queer people still have to marry someone they don’t love just to have “a shield” to cover for themselves. Has Hawk ever shown any interests in women? No. Has Hawk ever had sex with another woman besides his wife? No. Was it true that all of his sex partners now and then were men? Yes. So, that’s your answer. He’s gay as fuck.

3. Hawk is not the only person to blame. Tim is also at fault.

Roast me later, hear me out.

Hawk is a shitty person, I agree. He has done so many cruel things to his lover, his wife, and his child, and he continues to do so bc he’s a shitty person.

But, after all the shitty things Hawk did, Tim came back to him. Hawk warned Tim about their relationship very early. “But Skippy, that’s all it was, that’s all it can be. I’m sorry.”. Tim was soft for Hawk, so he accepted that easily. He’d love to love, rather than not having love at all. Hawk broke up with Tim on the day before Christmas, he was prepared to end it all so that Tim wouldn’t rely his emotions too much on him. For some reasons they got back to each other again, only to be separated one more time 6-7 months later. Tim made Hawk promise not to write, yet he was the one to break the promise. 14 years later, Tim couldn’t help himself but seeing Hawk again, sneaking outside his house just to witness his “happy” family. He was aware of the pain and guilt, but he was so lost in love, his “consuming love”, he gave in every time.

I know Tim did not deserve any of this, he had a pure heart and he gave it all to Hawk. That’s why we love him, and we feel pity for him too. But he had choices he was not willing to make, so it’s on him too yk.

4. There’s more to Tim’s guilt.

After jerking off with Hawk, Tim immediately forced Hawk to leave him. But why people only mentioned that it was bc he felt guilty with God? I believe he had 2 things to be sorry for. 1 is the reason everybody was talking about, God. The 2nd one, I’m pretty sure he felt guilty towards Lucy too. He couldn’t hold himself, he missed his man so damn much, and he let his heart took over for a sec. Tim knew he shouldn’t bc that was so wrong, and he did something really really awful to someone who’s having a wife and two children at home. He hated himself for it.

—

If you hate Lucy or Hawk, please block me I’m begging you bc I can’t stand another person interpret them wrongly like that. For the sake of my mental health, please block me with your every power!

[huachengeye]

Only Friends: Is accountability a reality for them?

So, here we are, episode 9. We are reaching for the finish line, but the road is still rough and long. Some will get there earlier, and some will need to be dragged there, but in the end, it's about the mistakes we make along the way lmao

Sorry, I had to start this as dramatically as this episode felt for me. Only Friends it's the gift that keeps on giving, and every damn time they GIVE. It's wild how every episode is as strong, sometimes stronger, than the previous one. The characters are great, they evolve little by little (baby steps) and those characters from the first episode are nowhere to be found, which, by the way, I love it.

But I still have a problem with this episode, a problem that I hope will be developed in the next ones, but that, as of now, is lowkey pissing me off. Fortunately enough, I'm not the only that is bothered by this. So let's break down my rumble into parts. First, let's start with the easy, comfortable part: SandNick's friendship.

If you never looked at your friend and thought "What if we kissed?" are you really friends?

This was groundbreaking for me. It's so realistic and so fun!! I was literally giggling and kicking my feet, which was a first in this series lmao. I love the kiss, the thought process before it, the laughing after it, the clear understanding that there weren't any romantic sparks from it, and the choice to go to cuddle after. Everything about this scene is really special and heartwarming for me. This is the friendship that I'm here for, my second-option boys.

I love how P'Jojo really pays attention to every detail of a queer relationship. I saw my own friendships in this moment of Sand and Nick, and I never saw my friendships as being queer. I come from a culture where hooking up is really normal, even if it is between (best) friends. I lost count of how many times I've gone to parties where my friends would just hook up, and sometimes that got messy, but most of it was just simple. Two people (sometimes, maybe, three) kissing and sharing a moment of happiness with each other. We have a saying in my country (maybe not a saying but anyways) "(hooking up) strengthens a friendship", and that might be from the fact that we, like the characters from OF, are a bit horny, but also because touching is a very big part of how we show affection and love.

I've never, at least as far as I knew, had a queer relationship with someone else. Not like the ones I'm seeing in this show. Heck, I only fully understood my own queerness a couple years ago, although liking people from different genders was always a part of myself, I just never really cared or gave much thought about it. But the friendships I had were all very hetero in my point of view, most of the time it was about girls hooking up with guys and only hooking up with other girls when there was drinking involved - never boys with boys. Funny enough, now that I'm not friends with those people anymore, I think what we had was queer in a way. The way our love-giving culture works is queer in some way.

(I promise I'm making a connection here, and I'll circle back to Sand and Nick in a second)

I've only started to study queerness and to feel my own queerness a couple years ago, as I said. I still don't have quite the knowledge to explain what queerness is, but for me, it's about everything that falls outside of the so-called normal. In today's society, normality is for there to be romantic touches only between people from different genders, and only with the intent of having a romantic relationship with that person. Friends being close to each other, in a way that romantic partners would be, is weird. And it's weirder when they are from the same gender, especially if they are two boys.

My experience with my girl friends was always simple, we liked to be close to each other, to give hands, to share small touches, to be connected in some sense. I feel that this is more accepted by society as a whole, maybe this is even mocked a bit because girls are a joke all around in this pathetic patriarchal society. But when it's two guys (or two perceived guys) being touchy touchy with each other, that's a no-no. And that's where my guy friends (and men in my country, as far as the ones I was around) differ. They are still very led by machismo, but it was always so common for me to see my friends joking around about wanting to date each other, sharing hugs, and sometimes kisses (no more than a peck, and honestly I gave them a curious side eye at those times), but even they had a very strong camaraderie that really was a mirror of my own relationships with my girl friends. The same goes for my friendships with my guy friends, we were queer in the sense that we engaged with each other, not with a romantic mindset (there were times when that got messy) but just as two friends that care for each other, and that strengthen their friendship through kisses sometimes.

That's Nick and Sand for me. Their decision to kiss was not just because they wanted love, wanted to give love, but it was a hopeful shot at maybe sparking romantic feelings between them. It was a hopeful shot at finding someone that they knew would love and care for them back, romantically. It didn't work, and it wasn't sad or awkward, it was fun and happy. It was two people sharing love with each other and building community, building trust, and honest love. And the cuddling afterward was the cherry on top, it brought it all together and tied in a pretty bow. The first time I heard about queerplatonic relationships was in 2020, I think, it was a groundbreaking discovery for me, as it gave me the answers about what connections I craved. For me, Sand and Nick is the first representation of a queerplatonic friendship I have seen since then, and it's making me emotional lol.

I'm not even going to mention them calling each other "team second option", that was pure gold. Have a friend who jokes about your love life (and theirs) with you. Get you a friend that you can be both delusional and realistic with.

(if you want another interpretation of the queerplatonic relationship between Sand and Nick I suggest @wen-kexing-apologist post. I took the photo of SandNick's kiss from this post btw, so thanks :)

Did I just ramble about my past friendships as if this is about my life and not about Only Friends? Yes, I did. Thank you Only Friends for making me dive into my own emotional mess, always a pleasure.

I'm still not ready to bring my rage and disappointment to the table, so let's talk a bit more about the parts I really enjoyed in this episode - aka, Top's development, Mew's mothers, Nick's goodbye to Boston, and Mew finally getting out of his little cave and going to touch some grass.

Let's start with Top. Where is that character from the first episode that was SURE he would get whatever he wanted? I was waiting for this moment, and it's finally here.

I was not surprised by Top's choices in this episode, actually, I was elated about his development. If he was the old Top he would've shown Mew the video of SandRay's kiss right after it happened. I knew he wouldn't, he was definitely thinking about it, but for once he thought about how his actions would affect Mew. And this episode showed us a bit more about Top's own problems.

I don't know if I talked here about the scene where Top was thinking back about his moments with Mew, and about how those moments were REALLY different from the ones we saw from Mew's POV. Top's point of view was really sad for me, at that moment, through Mew's eyes, we saw them having fun at the silent club, dancing together, but through Top's eyes, it was as if he was already grieving Mew's absence. It made me think about his choice to bring Mew to that particular place. At first, I thought it was a fucked up thing to bring his current boyfriend to a place he went with his previous boyfriends/hookups, but after the flashback, I got a different perspective of it.

Top actively chose a place where they would be together but at the same time alone. They were listening to music as if they were alone, there was a sense of disconnection between them at the moment. I mean, why would you take someone, that you want to be close with, to a place where you will be enjoying the moment in a separate way? Now, it feels as if Top was trying to be in Mew's life but not necessarily opening himself up for Mew. I mean, there were only two times we saw Top's raw self, when Mew revealed that he knew about him and Boston, and when Mew saw Top with his pills. The second time, Top told us a very personal thing about himself, he opened up about a big trauma of his and then brushed it off.

In this episode, we see him reaching for his pills again, head too full because he know holds in his hand something that could've ruin Mew's relationship with Ray, something that would've been his revenge against Ray for exposing him and Boston, when he is no better than them. He reaches for his pills, places a few in his hands, and puts them back because he doesn't want to do it. Top then calls for someone, probably Boeing, asking for the person to come see him because he can't sleep and doesn't want to use the pills anymore. We can view this in a few ways, it can be that he doesn't want to turn back to his old methods, or it can be that he doesn't want to run away from his traumas and problems anymore. I believe in both those things. Top is the first one of the hurricane trio (Top, Boston, Ray) to actually take action and start to change.

The end of the episode makes us think that Top didn't change, because who the hell invites his ex to his place whilst trying to get back with his other ex? But I really think Top did change, and that whatever Boeing went to do in his place wasn't sexual at all. My theory right now is that Boeing knows about Top's insomnia and trauma, he might be the only one that knows other than Mew. And I think they are just friends (maybe Boeing wants to get back with him, maybe not, but I think Top doesn't want that), because if they had broken things off in a bad way, why would Top keep the little plane Boeing gave him? If Top was like Boston made him out to be, a player that doesn't do long-term relationships, wouldn't he have disposed of the things his ex gave him? If my theory is right, this will be the first time we see Top with someone he considers a friend, and I believe we will be seeing a whole other side of him because of it.

Top chose to keep the video to himself, he chose to not be the one at the top, to not have the last word in this situation. For me, that shows that he really cares for Mew, and cares enough not to make Mew go through the shame of having proof that his boyfriend is cheating on him. Yet, he still gave Mew pieces of advice and asked Mew to think if Ray really only loves him. He planted doubt in Mew's mind, but it was for Mew to keep his eyes open, that way he wouldn't have to actually show Mew proof and make Mew see with his own eyes.

I saw some people bringing up the possibility that he is doing the "long game" (yes, this is a Girl Meets World reference) and that's why he chose not to show Mew, but honestly what in all of his actions shows that he wants to do the long game? He doesn't let Mew go a day without him showing up like a ghost (which btw is really bothering me, like, now your place, give him space), even when it was Mew's day with his mothers, the one day it was clear he wanted just for him and his mothers. This is the one big thing right now that I want to be acknowledged by the series, the amount of boundaries that are crossed, not only with Top, makes me SO mad.

But I have to admit, Top is growing on me right now, but it all depends on how he will deal with the whole "Mew-Boeing" situation and if he will actually respect Mew's boundaries from now on.

Goodbye, Ton.

First off, before this, I need y'all to read this post by @lurkingshan, she makes a great analysis of this Nick and Boston moment.

But this was such a powerful scene for this couple, the most powerful in my opinion. We finally see a side of Nick that we had never seen. From the get-go, Nick was just after Boston. From the moment Boston went to get his phone fixed, Nick was interested in Boston, almost in a stalker way (I'm sorry but I'll never get over the fact Nick went through Boston's phone to masturbate to one of his photos, that won't ever sit with me). Until this moment, Nick was nothing more than in love with Boston for me. I didn't feel like he had a strong personality outside of his relationship with Boston, but woah, this episode really showed me otherwise. I'm now on the same side of the people who think Nick is a cutie who deserves happiness.

In this episode, Nick truly acknowledges that Boston is not the amazing person he keeps on trying to convince himself he is. He does it on his trip with Sand when he asks himself why he falls for "bad guys". At the same moment, he makes peace with the fact that he was Boston's second option, a huge change from his last conversation with Sand when he says that maybe one day Boston would love him. I was so happy with this development, and not even when Nick, in his goodbye to Boston, said to Boston that Boston should stay the way he is because he is loved for who he is (let's not lie now, dear Nick), made me less happy. And our boy is moving on!!! And with a Daddy too, look at you go Nick omg.

Another thing I want to point out about Nick in this episode is how aware he is of people being interested in him. Throughout the series, I only saw Nick as being insecure about himself, and he really was, we even saw him trying to act more like Top, going to the gym and dressing up (a behavior that he shares with Mew). And throughout the whole series, I saw a bunch of people treating him as if he is completely incapable of taking care of himself as if he was the lamb being manipulated by the big bad wolf Boston. When he said that he knows Boston is not the best guy around (not exactly with this wording lmao), it made it very clear that his not innocent (I mean, he masturbated to a photo of a guy he didn't know, a client, did y'all really think he was innocent????). But this episode made it extra clear, he immediately clocked Dan's intentions, and he wasn't taken back or shy about it, he was flirting back (the same way he did flirted back with Boston at the beginning). These people are in college, they are not innocent in any way anymore, innocence is not in sight in this BL, at least not when it comes to relationships.

So, go Nick!! Hook up with your Daddy (you kink bunch), and have lots of kisses with him before hurricane Boston comes back to your life because he will and I'll be sat for it.

THE MOTHERS HAVE ARRIVED!!!

I was so excited for these two to be introduced, and this was the perfect timing. The way they immediately saw that something was off with Mew like they barely walked in and alarms were sounding in their heads. Finally, a parent figure that is parenting, missed those.

I think this was a really important moment for Mew to have right now. After this encounter with him and his mothers, Mew started to get back to himself. I remember that Mew's mothers were his inspiration, they are his ideal view on relationships, so I'm sure their presence made him remember that what he is doing right now is not what he wants for himself. Also, I think he just needed to have a good influence close to him.

The mothers didn't realize the uncomfortable vibe between Mew and Top, but I forgive them for it because they don't really know. I need more of them. I need more of the older lesbian couple, I need more of older queer couples to advise these youngsters (if I told y'all that I'm probably younger than them, would y'all believe it?)

BRING THIS MAN HIS GLASSES, HE IS BACK!

No one in this episode was as honest as Mew. I loved Nick's emotional speech. I loved Sand being open about his feelings about Ray. But Mew takes the cake for me, and it's not because he is my favorite.

Mew literally went after everyone he wronged here. He is apologizing, and taking responsibility for his actions, and he is the one who is reaching out. The first one he went to make peace with was Ray, loved that. I love that he said out loud that the reason he was with Ray was to hurt Top. Mew didn't try to bullshit, he was honest and clear with Ray. And I love that they said "I love you" to each other, for the first time (for Ray) in a non-romantic sense, just pure friendship love. I also love that they joked around afterward. I didn't love the way Ray didn't take accountability for his behavior, but I will talk about it later.

Then Mew went to Cheum, which, by the way, he was the only one to go and talk to Cheum after that mess of a party. He opens the conversation by saying that he went to apologize, then he looks at the faces of everyone who was saying he was being manipulated and said

I wasn't possessed by a ghost. I was just lost. I want you to understand that what happened to me affected my self-confidence so much. I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Yes, he behaved like a lot of people behave when they have their first heartbreak. Thank you P'Jojo for always getting it right.

This also confirms the theories around Mew trying to be someone else, mimicking someone else (in this case I really think he was a mix of Ray, Top, and Boston) because he was lost and hurt. I really hope he starts to work on his self-love and own his confidence. My baby deserves happiness :(

Are you happy? Well, that's over! Brace yourself because I'm coming back to write about him, my nemesis as of right now: Ray. I'll probably make a post only for him, so when that's done I'll link it here :)

[bonesbuckleup]

You recently introduced me to Cloud Cult by way of your post referencing "One Way Out Of A Hole," and I've done nothing but obsessively listen to them at full blast ever since. My Spotify Wrapped will be a wreck (as will my car if I keep accidentally speeding while screaming inspirational lyrics). So... do you have any other music recommendations?

Yes.

But also full disclosure, Cloud Cult (LINK!!!) is arguably one of my most obscure band-that-I-love and a lot of these are much more mainstream, but I do enjoy and Spotify says I frequently listen to:

Orville Peck--I'm not usually one for country but particularly his album Bronco owns my soul. You like twangy songs with a lot of heart performed by a queer man who wears a tasseled mask in every appearance? Then boy oh boy is Orville Peck right for you.

Mother Mother--I think they're pretty well known but they're new to me! Favorites are "It's Alright" and "Sick of the Silence"

The Narcissist Cookbook--they live somewhere between punk, spoken word, yelling, and grit-your-teeth-and-get-through-it inspirational. Favorites include "GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE" and "Ghost Stories." 100% an acquired taste and not for everyone.

First Aid Kit--hippy girl music that makes you want to go run through the woods. Kind of a less-known cousin to Florence and the Machine. They've got a solid vibe throughout most of their stuff so you really can't go wrong with a start point, but their recent album Palamino scratches my brain in a nice way.

Florence and the Machine--self-explanatory. Current faves are "100 Years," "Choreomania," and always "Which Witch." Seeing her live was the closest I've ever been to understanding how people join cults.

Hozier--another self-explanatory one but also his newest album just dropped and I am obsessed.

Gregory Alan Isakov--my love. Chill folk music with lyrics that sucker punch you when you pay attention and listen. Excellent music to put on while writing.

Nathaniel Ratecliff & the Night Sweats--Just a solid good-time band with great lyrics and a lot of heart. Swings from stomp and holler to really thoughtful/high-feel songs. Almost all hits tbh. Favorites are "S.O.B." and "And It's Still Alright."

[spicebowl]

i am just one humble manthing who grooms dogs. when the world collapses, i will still be a humble manthing that grooms dogs. what can i realistically do right now? direct action yes, boycotting yes, protesting yes, but in the grand scheme of things im just crying and mourning like everyone else. As a child many of the important people who helped raise me were chaldeans, first or second generation, from palestine. for them, i grieve, as i know theyve lost family yet again in this genocide, displaced in the country that funds it. but grief doesnt feed anyone, doesnt help stop the bombs or block off the trade routes for weapons. in doesnt garner more than a pat on the back before they return to dehumanizing and murdering a defenseless people.

and I think of Marjane Satrapis quote, "The difference between you and your government is much bigger than the difference between you and me. And the difference between me and my government is much bigger than the difference between me and you. And our governments are very much the same."

I hope one day the west will learn its place, thrown to the wolves, fractured and restricted. I hope the global south makes their move. I hope americas hubris catches up with it. Should a world war start, i would pray for my countrys downfall, in that a global threat of violence, destruction, and subjugation might finally be eliminated. And i will have no grief for my country when it shatters.

A country built of the corpses of an entire continent of peoples can only stand so long. A country built by religious extremists exiled from their own countries to a continent in which they murdered everyone shouldnt be around. No country is without sins and no nation established without blood, but the US's level of depravity has long outperformed many other western nations.

I suppose ignorance and comfort are the only ways to ensure its public doesnt turn on the government.

I guess this is the same hopelessness that tires many other people, i dont have a real point here. I dont want to feel hopeless, and ive only been paying attention for the last 5 years really. this fight has come before me and will continue after me. humanity is an idea we must spread, apparantly, as modern humans forget how to and chafe at caring or helping one another.

Understand that without eachother, we are alone. We become powerless as individuals. We get walked over and ignored and used. When we put the effort into eachother, its returned and love, respect, admiration, and decency are allowed to shine through if we can only look at eachothers personhood.

A person in palestine lived and worked and went to school, scraped their knees and got them kissed to make it better, helped their children learn their harder lessons, rode bikes, had secrets and romances, had queer experiences and hid them from families with the same anxiety many queer people always feel. They loved and laughed and danced and when the bombs fell, it was on fathers and brothers, mothers and daughters, real people with rich lives cut short. Sonder is a powerful feeling that once felt can recontextualize everything.

We have to care because they are people like we are people, struggling and wanting, laughing and raging, saving the best cuts of meat for the ones they love, with their own inside jokes in friend groups and mistakes with lovers and any other aspect of humanity you yourself experience. I dont think we could ever convince those in power of the importance of their humanity and how damning it is to our own when we harm eachother like this.

Can't we care? Aren't we allowed to recognize eachother? Who are we if we let them be slaughtered so brutally, so disgustingly and ruthlessly? Less than humans and more akin to beasts hellbent on destruction.

[three--rings]

I posted 4,302 times in 2022

That's 545 more posts than 2021!

519 posts created (12%)

3,783 posts reblogged (88%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@thebookewyrme

@summerstede

@chocolatepot

@havealittlebitofeverything

@chubsthehamster

I tagged 4,146 of my posts in 2022

Only 4% of my posts had no tags

#ofmd - 1,049 posts

#our flag means death - 907 posts

#blackbonnet - 441 posts

#kinnporsche - 222 posts

#the sandman - 136 posts

#dracula - 130 posts

#word of honor - 129 posts

#beyond evil - 127 posts

#shl - 125 posts

#山河令 - 116 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#but literally i thought one of the ideas of a parliamentary system was the ability to vote parties out when they fuck your entire country up

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

For all those newly obsessed by Johnathan Harker’s Worst Business Trip Ever, I have to tell you about my favorite piece of published Dracula fanfic, The Dracula Tape by Fred Saberhagen. 

The premise is that Dracula accosts some folks in the 1970s in order to give His side of the story and it’s recorded on a tape deck. 

It’s hilarious though, because it’s basically like “Look, Johnathan Harker had No Idea what was going on.  He didn’t even speak the language, but somehow he claims to know what people were saying to him?  Cause he knows a few German words?”  And like “look I was just an innocent vampire trying to buy some property and he jumped to All Kinds of conclusions, really.”

And like it makes...a lot of good points about the novel, actually.  (Like it wasn’t ME that killed Lucy, maybe it was those experimental blood transfusions that didn’t pay any attention to BLOOD TYPE, VAN HELSING.)

So yeah, highly recommend it after you’ve read the original. 

2,090 notes - Posted May 6, 2022

#4

You know one thing that occurred to me watching Sandman so far is that someone out there is going to watch this show and be like “ugh why did they have to put so much gay shit in it, this is just typical of 21st century woke politics cluttering up everything” and not realizing this is just how the comic was in the 19fucking80s.

There’s a reason us baby queers attached so hard to it when we were in our teens, okay?

3,181 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#3

Because I just read a few AO3 censorship related posts in a row...

I’m not sure antis and people who want to remove certain things from AO3, like any content with anyone under 18, understand WHY those of us who are Of A Certain Age, aka the people who created AO3, fight so hard on this stuff.

Like I don’t think they understand that we have LITERALLY SEEN THIS BEFORE.  People spoke up before about “child porn” aka anything involving any character under 18, or even stuff with aged up characters like an adult Harry Potter, but people assume Harry Potter is always 12 or whatever. 

And when those complaints were made ALL adult content was wiped.  FFN suddenly wouldn’t host ANY explicit fics.  No matter how healthy, how fluffy, how consensual and adult and whatever.  Just Nope.  Things were wiped from existence.  LJ randomly wiped entire blogs for being reported, banned users based on the say of Conservative Christians who shouted pedophile at the gays.

What happens when people try to remove objectionable material is that it ends with having no home for ANY explicit material.  It’s happened again on social media under SESTA and FOSTA in the name of preventing sex trafficking.  In the name of keeping smut out of the Apple store. 

Archive of Our Own was founded to be a home for content that wouldn’t be hosted elsewhere.  Where you could put something and not fear its deletion the first time someone happened upon it and reported you for whatever reason.  Where no one is going to judge whether your fic meets some subjective standard of purity, so long as it’s tagged appropriately and is legal content in the US (which all written fiction is.)

We watched so many communities destroyed, websites erased, content lost and then a new generation comes along and is like “hey let’s do this again” and we’re like NO WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU INSANE?

They’re never going to accept your gay porn about other people’s fictional characters just because you got rid of that “icky” stuff you don’t like.  You’ll still be a freak for it.  You cannot respectability politics your way out of your shame and embarrassment at being associated with something others see as dirty.  You’re going to have to grow up and just accept it.

5,135 notes - Posted August 14, 2022

#2

Okay, Gen Z, younger millennials, please tell me, are you aware of what the title Ms. means? And how to pronounce it?

Because I just listened to several young 20-somethings pronounce it Miss and talk about how it means you're not married. And...I'm feeling weird about it, considering that's the title I use.

(It means my marital status is none of your business. I use it because I'm married but I kept my maiden name so I'm not Mrs. anyone.)

18,990 notes - Posted March 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

You know, watching Goncharov entirely through the medium of tumblr posts shared by people I follow isn’t significantly different from how I experience a lot of media these days.

Goncharov, House of the Dragon, equally real to me.

21,706 notes - Posted November 22, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[elizmanderson]

2022 wrap-up, part 4

part 1 is here

part 2 is here

part 3 is here

istg this is the last part. it just turns out I did more stuff this year than I thought, which is exactly why I do these wrap-ups for myself every year. otherwise I fixate on the bad parts or the parts where I did nothing yet somehow also failed to rest.

travel

new york

I went to NYC for the first time ever for my friend chelsea's book launch! the officially unofficial one that we had for her in central park, since during her official book launch I was at phantom of the opera with another one of our friends who was kind enough to treat me to a broadway show

I saw and did a lot and went many places, but lowkey the highlight of my trip (aside from meeting all my long-time twitter writing peeps <3) was my last evening in the city. I had a drink at the stonewall inn and then wandered around the village, taking pictures of buildings because I was in love with the light on the fire escapes. I turned down jane street without even thinking about it.

after about a block, I was like, "wait, which street did I just turn down," and I went back to the nearest intersection to check. but nope, I'd turned down the right street without looking at my map, without paying strict attention to street signs and landmarks, without even thinking about it. I realize actual new yorkers will 100% disagree with this, but in that moment new york became a little bit mine and I became a little bit hers.

it took me months to recover financially from this trip, even with staying in a sketchy hostel and without paying for my own broadway tickets, but I loved it. a lot more than I thought I would, actually, since I grew up in the country and I'm probably three trees in a trench coat rather than an actual human person.

admittedly when I got back and saw how green the trails on our campus were, I was like "how did I even THINK I liked it there?? they kept all their nature in one place and it wasn't half this green!!" but I seriously did fall in love with the city, and yes I obnoxiously point at the screen when watching media set in manhattan like "I've been there!!" I am That Bitch.

georgia

I mean okay fine I go to georgia every year because my parents live here now. but still. I love savannah and coastal georgia in general, and this year I also visited jekyll island for the first time. I didn't stay long at jekyll, and unfortunately savannah was so cold I might as well have been back home (jk, it was sub-zero at home and a balmy 15 in savannah on the coldest night), but I always love going, I got to see my beloved atlantic, and I once again took a thousand pictures of live oaks just because.

other things

non-book media

movies: cyrano (yes it says 2021 but it wasn't at my theater until february of this year, so we're calling it 2022), bros, thor: love & thunder, ticket to paradise, see how they run, and actually encanto played at our second-run theater so I saw that in theaters again <3

tv: ofmd and only murders in the building, both new comfort shows despite one involving piracy and the other involving murder

musicals: groundhog day: the musical and come from away, and also I'm listing cyrano here in addition to above bc I love the soundtrack and have it in my car along with the other two

personal tomfoolery

we're about to go full-on diary here, but whatever bc that's how I used this blog before I got 500 new followers and ofmd ruined all other uses of said blog, so that's how I'm finishing this post

queer feels

I've both thought about and avoided about thinking about my sexuality and gender even more than I already have in the past 10 or 12 years. I like "queer" for this reason: it covers any non-allocishet identity I might ever need. it indicates that I'm part of the community while giving me space and time to figure out the particulars on my own (and reduces the need for me to come out repeatedly to the same people as I decide on new identities, which is good bc I viscerally hate coming out at all and dream of a world where I wouldn't have to). I like more particular labels for helping me figure out my experience, validating my experience, and finding other people whose experiences are similar.

I'm still thinking through they, although I admit when I asked folks to use it in a pronoun testing room I got warm fuzzies. I've avoided thinking through my gender in detail, but I bought a genderqueer sticker and enamel pin to add to my existing pride stickers and pins. it's just that it's like I have to come out to myself.

I did actually come out to my dad as queer this year. which made me feel feelings even though it shouldn't have been a big deal bc my parents are allies. my dad's literally in his law school's gsa, much to the confusion of the younger folks. I came out via email, in the spur of the moment, which is both a very me and a very internet-dad way to come out. and he basically said, "thanks for trusting me with that, but I already vibed it from your writing."

(I'm paraphrasing. my sixty-year-old, deeply uncool white-guy father didn't use the word "vibed.")

I'm quietly queer, for the most part, but every year I get a little louder. this year, with fascism on the rise and so many anti-queer and specifically anti-trans bills brought forth in so many states and me only just out of the closet to my parents (albeit less deeply in the closet in the first place than I thought I was), I talked more about my queerness than usual. I put "queer" in every single author bio for every single thing for which I needed a bio. I stickered my laptop in pride flags. I put up pride flags outside my office and pride pins inside it and joined the dei committee at work. I'm not a fighter. but I got just a little bit louder.

friend feels

I kinda started thinking some time within the last few years, how many friendships have I maybe missed out on because both of us were too insecure to take the first real step and be friends?

which has highkey always been my approach to romance. I'll get my heart broke a thousand times and still go after every new person I fall for. but when it comes to friendship, I'm like do not.

but I've been thinking this lately.

so with an existing maybe-friend, when an opportunity came along to write him a letter for a retreat he went on, I basically just wrote him a letter like "hey I care about you and I'm glad we're friends." and boom, lo and behold, he came back like "oh my goodness thank you so much for that wonderful letter," and things have been much more comfortable since then. which was a nice lil validation of my theory that sometimes people Do Not Dislike Me, In Fact, but are just as insecure in friendship as I am.

I also made a whole new friend with this new girl at work. the rsd has hit me fucking hard this year, which I do not appreciate. but I keep pushing past it and making an effort, and now I have a nice stash of good encounters stored up for when the rsd tries to bamboozle me once more. she's so welcoming and lovely and kind, so I hope things are also settled there even if sometimes I feel like they aren't because that's just how I am.

anyway, that's my year. there was a lot of weird and terrible bullshit going on locally, nationally, globally, and in the background, but there was some good shit in there, too.

here's to more friends, more books, more birds, more plants, more falling-in-love-with-cities, more kindness and good and little warm gestures in 2023.

[spaceumbredoggos]

I might get canceled for saying this, so I apologize in advance. But I am no longer answering asks about Gaza and Palestine. Especially when there’s active genocide in the US as we speak.

There was recently a shooting in Georgia. My first college PE class was a self defense class where I learned how to disarm guns. I truly believe we are one election away from a dystopian nightmare where we pay with the blood of our children.

They get rid of phones in schools so that we can’t call our loved ones to tell them our goodbyes. My art class teacher immediately pointed out where to hide from a school shooter. And my class is at 6-9 at night in Southern California.

Meanwhile, states are trying to take away any rights that don’t belong to cis hetero white men. They’re trying to make being queer a sex crime and punishing those sex crimes with death. Conservative white men want to create a fascist nation, and once they get into power they will be unstoppable. Sure things might be bad in Gaza and Palestine, but they’ll get a lot worse if Trump gets elected.

Go ahead and cancel me for saying this, but when we’re one election away from being in a state of total fascism and genocide against queer people, we can’t really focus on issues abroad like Palestine.

I don’t want to have to fear going to school and create a playlist I have to listen to in my final moments due to being shot for being queer. I don’t want to have to sleep with one eye open.

The right just wants more workers to oppress. They want to keep money in the greedy talons of the dragons that they feel should control society. They lie through their teeth and spread hate, misinformation, and hoaxes with the STD’s they give to the women they screw over. They scapegoat whoever they can to draw attention to so that they can keep the heat off themselves. If Trump gets elected, nowhere is safe. You may think that you can simply move out of the country, when there’s bigots everywhere that can rise to power now that they’re emboldened by Trump. Alberta Canada is already trying to pass anti-lgbt bills.

We are witnessing the active attempt to eradicate morals from society in the name of a false god. Actually decent healthcare, shelter, food, water, and safety is actively being taken away from people in our own country. Many of them are disabled. Many of them are queer. Many of them are women.

Another thing, you know how teachers are complaining on how far behind Gen Alpha is? And how bottom of the barrel content farms that show violent and pornographic content gets targeted to kids? Also notice how overstimulating some of these videos are (I’m looking at you, Cocomelon.) Meanwhile, KOSA is just trying to ban queer spaces and trying to keep people in abusive relationships. It’s late stage capitalism at its finest. So many people are suffering.

We can’t just focus on what’s happening in Gaza when our own kids can’t seem to get off their screens and read. I’d be damned if it’s found out that those shitty content farms that leech off of indie projects are in line with rich white conservatives that want to eradicate literacy to breed the ultimate worker for their own twisted purposes.

I know that last paragraph was controversial for me to say as an aspiring content creator, but I truly believe that there can be a way for content creators to exist in this world without making illiterate kids. There should be regulations in place that keeps young children off of highly addictive platforms such as TikTok and YouTube shorts. There should be better systems in place for content creators that emphasizes quality over quantity. Bring dislikes back. There is room for genuinely creative content creators to grow and share their platform, whilst keeping the scum away from vulnerable kids. There’s a place for porn on the internet, and it should be kept away from kids.

In synopsis, how can we focus on Gaza when there is active genocide in our own country and active attempts to create denial. Hey furry hackers, maybe target those content farm channels next! I betcha my soul you’ll find that the algorithm that YouTube and TikTok praises so much thrives off of feeding kids stupidity as some grand master plan by the possibly conservative white male CEO’s that want to keep kids stupid and poor just to keep brainwashing propaganda onto them. Where is critical thinking skills and basic reading comprehension?

Wow. This turned from a rant on school shootings to my unbridled hatred towards content farms and how fucked up Gen Alpha is. I’ve definitely been chronically online for too long. But yeah, the YouTube algorithm supports shitty content and hates genuinely good content. Sponsorships are only helping genuine creators so much, as well as genuinely good merch. And AI will only make things so so much worse.

I have a project for the furry hackers. Attack generative Open AI. (Yeah, I’m prolly gonna quit Figgs AI because I’m feeling hardcore AI addiction again. It’s hurting my ability to create content. The site’s dying anyways.) And attack content farms too. Maybe it’s time for me to get into IT. Gonna look at computer classes. It can’t be too hard, right?

I may be either spewing a shit load of nonsense with the content farm shit, or I’m hitting the nail on the head. But there goes my ADHD. But yeah. I can’t answer asks on Gaza anymore. I am so sorry if I let people down because of this.

[gaykarstaagforever]

Sean Hannity did a "sit down" with Mike Johnson, a man whose name I keep forgetting a minute after I've looked it up for the 12th time. Politico has a "listicle" of the 12 key points, where we can get a "peek into his thinking."

What this ACTUALLY is is a promo bit so Mike can show America how white and folksy he is, and Hannity can set him up to give hard-right approved soundbites, reassuring the fascists he's still quietly one of them. Important work for the good of the country, all 'round.

Let's waste time on this, shall we?

"Biden is senile." Zing. They literally have nothing else, except that he has also, sometimes, been awkwardly weird to women and children. But they can't talk about that, because being awkward and weird to women and children is a GOP plank.

And yes, it is a "failed presidency." Because the Democrats said that about Trump's tenure, so the GOP has to say it about Biden. Because political attacks are identical to when an 8 year old yells, "No, YOU are!"

This is also a dog-whistle about how POCs and queer people are still allowed to walk the street without being terrorized, and we should all go to men's retreats and cry about how oppressed we are by it.

Yes yes, we can't support Ukraine anymore because Trump confused Twitter conspiracies for security briefings, and now the mainline GOP has to pretend it makes any sense that the Ukrainian Illuminati wanted to hack voting machines in the Deep South.

He could have at least found a conspiracy theory by someone who actually knows what a Ukraine is. And what corruption there actually looks like. But Trump does research by half-paying attention to Fox News while he's eating his chicken McNuggets, so it was bound to go this way.

I like how Mike is only anti-Putin insofar as it affects his racism against the Chinese. At least, publicly. He has to understand what a genuine threat Putin really is. But like half his party right now loves Putin because only Putin can stop those Ukrainian Illuminati from hacking rural Georgia voting machines. A GOOD person would, you know, call that bullshit out. But since Mike did treason by refusing to certify a free and fair election, Mike is obviously not a good person.

Like hell you do. If it was up to these people, they'd draft every 17 year old in the country to go kill Muslims, to make them too busy to watch videos on the internet that point out how gross and evil Conservatism is. I mean, Kim Reynolds did her best trying to force them offline by making it legal for them to serve martinis to handsy lawyers at 1 am. But at this point, she can't mandate that.

Yeah, Mike, I'm sure the reason you don't want to give money to poor Muslims is only because of how insensitive their own leaders are to them. Funny, then, how your party is the one claiming how it is automatically antisemitism when someone dares to suggest Israel shouldn't have free reign to turn a city of 600,000 poor Muslims into a Moon crater.

...Almost like something else is at play, here.

Also I don't disagree that letting Hamas get US funds would turn into Hamas buying weapons with it.

...Weapons that were probably originally produced by US weapons manufacturers. And they have NO IDEA how they even got there!

The irony of a Far Right Conservative being wary that someone violent wants to buy guns.

"No, it was YOU that committed high crimes and misdemeanors!"

How are people who committed treason against the State allowed to punish other people for breaking its laws? What version of high school civics does Louisiana teach?

I think they just yell "White Power!" and throw a football at your head.

Hey, I'm in Pennsylvania. It's basically the same thing here. Just if you catch it here, they reward you with a Hershey bar.

Yeah, only white people should have globe-spanning empires, because ours are inherently benevolent and our guns bring freedom! Or whatever weird twists the Conservative mind makes to justify why only WE get to do stuff.

Note that the only reason we "hate" China is because they want to make all the money we are currently making, screwing around with other people's shit. That's why we must stand firm astride the world. So guys in New York have the exclusive rights to squeeze money out mines in Indonesia and Malaysia and Sub-Saharan Africa. A noble endeavor, surely worth the ever-present risk of American military lives!

Also this obviously takes the form of a racism that exoticizes and dehumanizes everything China does, because how dare they not keep to their place? But Mike wasn't overt with that here.

Give him a minute.

Remember how Republicans changed the rules into something stupid so McCarthy could be Speaker, but then it turned out to be so stupid it cost him the Speakership, and plunged House leadership into chaos? Now that Mike is in charge, he wants to change the rules AGAIN, because now the stupid they thought was good turns out to be bad.

Because House Republicans run any elections they are in charge of like 7 year olds playing superhero, changing the rules after the fact and demanding a redo every time they don't get exactly what they want.

The problem is, when you pull that shit with a Presidential election, that's called "an attempted coup," and it's treason.

Which Mike was involved in. So no surprise that as House Leader, here he goes again, treating election rules like laser eyes you can't have anymore because it's not fair.

As for the stopgap spending thing, any GOP Speaker would parrot this, about how he'll bravely shut down the government until Biden stops giving poor trans students 2% milk instead of toilet water, or whatever their misreading if the Old Testament demands this season.

Guy who committed treason is suddenly Mr. Law and Order when it means he can worm out of having to try and refight the gay marriage issue. We know he is anti-queer and proud of it, so this is mostly him declaring that he thinks there are more important culture war battles at the moment than reinstating the official legal definition of two dudes kissing as "icky."

He surely wants to do that. It's just a "not right now" thing. Right now, it is time to outlaw

That is his weiner way of saying "it's a States' Rights issue!", that thing the South ALWAYS says any time you tell them to free their slaves, or stop doing compulsory Bible study in public schools, or you mention how marrying your 13 year old cousin is actually considered child abuse now.

The only reason most of the South has electricity or phone lines is because the Fed had to pay for those, as left to their own devices, they were exercising their States' Rights to let everyone die of mining accidents in cold shacks while a handful of families spent the infrastructure money on fancy dress parties. States' Rights is the immediate cry of a man who is indignant he should have to answer to anyone about anything in the first place.

And now with Roe overturned, he doesn't have to. The South and Midwest can legally turn a fertilized womb into the equivalent of an ankle bracelet, and the rest of us can mind our business! ...Until Mike and his friends make abortion illegal on the federal level.

Because the appeal to States' Rights only applies when the South wants to do something gross in the name of God. If your state chooses another path, you are morally wrong and the law should force you to do as the South says God demands. Because their view of democracy is that they get to be Evangelical Popes who can dictate policy to the rest of us.

This guy is now second in line to the Presidency. Let's hope Biden and Harris doing waving tours of war zones doesn't go stupid. Because if it does...it's going to go stupid for ALL of us.

[bieuphoriasworld]

Was honestly just thinking about Salim and Jason and their approach to PDA.

With their religious backgrounds in their respective countries at the time they grew up in, we can safely say they probably have a lot of internalised homophobia/biphobia, and have learnt to be covert about their sexuality (if not just repressing/ignoring it altogether). Even growing up when I grew up (the last 10 years or so) I had learnt that I had to tailor my behaviour; how I spoke and walked and looked at people, in order to stay safe. The point is, you learn to hide it very carefully. Hiding is pretty much just a method of survival.

So when they first get together in Badra-Mandali, they slowly shed their own internal issues, becoming more emotionally close to one another. Late talks into the night. Sharing each other’s cultures. Easy touches and kisses. Probably the best sex either of them have ever had.

But in public, they are just two friends. They act like brothers, with backslaps and friendly wrestling, joking around together loudly. It’s like there is a complete dichotomy between home versus public. And they are both okay with it until one day Salim grabs Jason’s hand when they are out. And Jason recoils back. And it is just way too obvious how panicked they both look to any outsiders, so they rush home. Salim tries explaining that male friends do that in public all the time, but Jason is so angry and upset and scared. So Salim swears he’ll never do it again, and he’s afraid that they may have caught the attention of the wrong people now. It’s time to leave, for both their sakes.

I come from England, and I’ll take any opportunity to dunk on my country. This place is a hellfuck nightmare. But it’s definitely not the worst place to be gay in. And Salim misses his son, his son who has already called home multiple times to tell him that he’s decided to stay on and get a doctorate. So Salim and Jason leave for England. They can’t afford rent in London, because if you come from England then you damn well know you’ll pay approx £3000 per minute for an apartment with no electricity that is 2 square feet in London. So they move to Brighton, into a nice apartment by the sea. They get decent paying jobs and settle down, still just friends sharing rent to the rest of the world.

The first time Salim and Jason see two guys kissing in a pub, it fries their brains. Jason can’t stop gaping, while Salim puts his head down after glancing once, not daring to be caught looking. No one stops the men. They aren’t heckled. They aren’t harassed. They don’t get thrown out. The nice bartender even goes to chat to them, they are regulars.

A few weeks later, Jason takes Salim’s hand as they walk down the pier. They’ve both got expressions on like men being led out to be shot, but they do it anyway. And nothing happens. So they keep doing it.

And I want you to imagine how over the years they shed the shame and the fear. They meet people like them. They laugh their asses off when they realise they accidentally moved to the gay capital of the country. They kiss out in public all the time, especially during the pride parades that swallow the city in rainbows. Zain regularly takes the train down to visit his baba and his baba’s boyfriend. It’s not perfect, bigots exist anywhere in the world. But the corner they chose to settle on has a couple of old butches as their neighbours, a gang of queer students who learn Arabic from salim and make fun of Jason’s accent, a trans woman who smacks the first guy who tries to mess with the pair late one night. They are not alone anymore.

So they grow grey together, two old men who are forever in love completely.

Yeah I’m a massive romantic, sue me.