#are so much better to me and actually care abt me back when i care abt them andd im still a v much like. not to brag but a v caring kind
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silly little sanaerio that came to me in a dream (literally)
reader tries to sneak out to go to the park with caitlyn and adrien and gets caught by damien
to shut up damien reader takes him with them and they all go park tgt idfk
damien refuses to admit he wanted to just spend time with reader , he wasnt actually gonna snitch
when sneaking back in they all domino onto eachother (reader walks in first then stops beecause ruh roh they got caught) and damien bumps into reader, caitlyn bumps into adrien and eyeah
tgis prollh doesng make sensw idk what im on abt tyoing this half aslddp
-🍰
HELLO WHAT?? I LOVE THIS (although this exact scene won’t happen, i think it’s cute that damian is forcing reader to let him tag along so that he won’t snitch—literally younger sibling core and there will definitely be a moment or two like in this undoing fate (for the bants/fluff) lol)
reader: (quietly tries to sneak toward the back entrance of Wayne Manor, bag slung over your shoulder)
Damian: (from the shadows) And just where do you think you’re going?
reader: (startles, spinning around) Damian?! What the— What are you even doing here?
Damian: (arms crossed) The better question is: what are you doing? Sneaking out like some common criminal. Suspicious, don’t you think?
reader: I’m just going to the park to meet Caitlyn and Adrien, okay? It’s no big deal. Go back to brooding or whatever it is you do.
Damian: Tch. You’re sneaking out to meet those two? Again? Does Father even know about this?
reader: (glaring) Do you know how to mind your own business?
Damian: I could let this slide… or I could inform Father. Imagine his reaction when he hears about this little escapade of yours.
reader: You wouldn’t dare.
Damian: (raising an eyebrow) Try me.
reader: (groaning, pinches the bridge of your nose) Fine. You want to come? You can come. Just don’t ruin it for me, okay?
Damian: ���..Hmph. I suppose I could accompany you. Someone has to keep you out of trouble.
reader: (mutters) Yeah, because I’m the one who causes trouble.
(You and Damian reach the park where Adrien and Caitlyn are waiting for you)
Caitlyn: Took you long enough. (gaze shifts to Damian) Oh, you brought company.
Damian: (flatly) I assure you, I did not want to be here. Someone needed to supervise you lot.
reader: (rolling eyes) Oh, please. He just didn’t want me to have fun without him.
Damian: (sharply) I don’t care about your fun. I have better things to do.
Adrien: (teasing) Sure, sure. And yet here you are.
Caitlyn: (grinning) Well, since you’re here, you might as well enjoy it. Or at least try.
Damian: (grumbling) I’m not here to enjoy anything.
[pretend you all hangout at a nearby night fun fair, and afterwards, after much begging, Adrien and Caitlyn managed to convince you to let them crash at the manor for the night]
reader: (whispering) Alright, stay quiet. No one’s around, so if we’re careful, we’re good.
Damian: (scoffing) Speak for yourself. I don’t get caught.
reader: (rolling eyes) Right, because you’re oh-so-perfect.
reader: (steps inside cautiously, but freezes mid-step as you hear someone—) Oh no—
Damian: (not realizing you stopped, walks straight into your back) Watch where you’re—
(Adrien, close behind, bumps into Damian, and Caitlyn crashes into Adrien. It’s a domino effect, leaving all four of you in a heap at the door.)
Adrien: Why do I always end up on the bottom?
Caitlyn: You’re just unlucky, I guess.
Damian: Get off me, you imbeciles!
reader: Shh! You’re gonna—
Alfred: (calmly stepping forward) I trust you all have a good explanation for this?
[All four of you collectively freeze, dread sinking in.]
Adrien: (still on the floor) …I’m just gonna stay down here.
Damian: This is entirely her fault. (points at you)
reader: Yeah, this is going to be a long night….
(i might write a full on oneshot for this lol i actually love this idea)
#💌#undoing fate#undoing fate asks#rizzanon#🍰 anon#i actually need more dc/batfam writers to write more platonic/sibling stuff because i need more fluff in my life#damian wayne#damian wayne x sister reader
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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trying to finish reading dungeon meshi now that it's done and just seeing everyone in the comments talking about ships. gun to my head
#ofc anytime someone says they ship smth straight someone has to be like 'ermmmm labru and farcille are better' like. not to me.... sorry#i actually do like farcille but people are so annoying about it acting like it's 'essentially canon' that it puts me off.#tbf that why i dislike a lottttt of ships LMAO not that i'm in the habit of caring abt it too much in most media#but sometimes it just really annoys me liiike laios and marcille have just as much ship tease as farcille (if not more)#but they couldn't get naked and go in the bath together so it doesn't count ig#tbf i'm not even huge on any ships except maybe fleki and lycion. i love when two equally weird ppl love each other#also like. they already had someone in the story who was head over heels for falin and i'm pretty sure shuro and marcille act nothing alike#when it comes to her. so. eh. i mean yadda yadda subtext or whatever i guess lol but if it can just as easily read as not romantic then#i kinda find it hard to care honestly. which is why i don't really ship anything from it. which brings me back to my original point#why is that basically all people talk about when it comes to anything... it should be a garnish not the whole god damn dish#and there's soooooo much in dungeon meshi that's more interesting than romance which is basically never once a priority#anyways. i'm just being an asshole and a hater as usual so go about your business and do what you want. i'll just be mad about it alone#labru is so nothing burger though i will never understand...
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ive seen ppl saying smth in the wider plagiarism discussion to the tune of "don't worry anxious people, it's impossible to accidentally plagiarize!" and i feel like that lacks a lot of nuance that anxious brains like mine latch on to to just dismiss the possibility outright, as well as a lack of life experiences fueling it.
it is possible to "accidentally plagiarize" in that you can read something, forget about it, then a while later have your brain spit the ideas back out without telling where it got them. so of course you just assume they're yours and share them as such, because That's Where Most Of The Thoughts In Your Head Come From! and it both is and isn't plagiarism, you weren't /intending/ to pass someone's else's work off as your own, i'd even say in a way you were just as much a victim of misinformation as your audience. but you very much so did still resuse the work of someone else, even if you don't remember it.
but in my experience, this kind of thing also happens to a lot of people. you tell a friend a joke then wake up in a cold sweat two days later realizing the reason they didnt laugh was because they'd told you that joke a month ago. you reply to a friend's text and after sending you realized you ended it with the same exact phrase as theirs. you're writing edgy poetry and write a line you really like only to see it in a text post two days later saying youve already liked the post. like, it happens. so if it DOES happens and you're just honest and explain, people will understand. something like "oh shit im sorry, i totally have read that, i mustve forgotten and only remembered bits and pieces and just thought they were mine. thank you for letting me know and for the source" works wonders.
people know you can forget things. people won't automatically doubt your apology just because all true plagiarists say it was accidental. HOPEFULLY people can understand the nuance between a genuine remorseful explanation, and a thief who hoped no one would find out scrambling for excuses for why they did it. and those who can't, that's a them problem, not a you problem, you've taken responsibility for your actions as much as you can. they think the answer is simple, that the only thing stopping you from saying "yes i did it on purpose, i knew the whole time and deliberately copied them" is shame/inability to admit to your actions. but sometimes things AREN'T that simple, so imo ppl who are shitty to you for not following the script they made up for you in their head should be ignored
#youre allowed to make up scripts for people in fact good luck stopping yourself since thats kinda just part of how conversation works#is you try to predict how your audience will react to a certain statement#and my therapist actually encouraged me to practice run stuff i wanna talk about in sessions because That Makes It Easier To Talk About#like who cares if it's rehearsed‚ it's still the truth‚ yknow?#however that only applies to the things /you/ want to say. you are the only one aware of this script and the only one who agreed to it in#the first place which is why you plan contingencies into the script#is because you only have control over one character and can only take guesses at what the others might say#if you guess wrong and they do something different that doesnt mean /theyre/ not following the script#it means /your/ copy was a misprint and you filled in the blanks wrong. so do what good actors do and improvise. you'll get back on script#eventually. or not‚ if your guesses devolved into wildly speculative fanfiction‚ but frankly you knew going into it that#most of your script was guesswork so you should be prepared to have to make some things up on the fly#or see again: prepare contingencies#if your guesswork on your copy of the script turns out to be wrong‚ wouldnt it be sooo handy to have a second copy which follows this#version of events much better?#and if not that one‚ maybe this third? how about this fourth? etc etc etc#but really just. when guessing at what others will say. know that you are guessing and dont hold it against /them/ if youre wrong#sorry ik that wasnt super related to the post itself im just also passionate abt that#plagiarism#james somerton
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Heard about TK wanting to write WW for 100 issues and do a Trinity spinoff?
Yeah.... that's the word on the street 😔
To be honest with everybody though, I don't think he's hitting 100 issues. I think Tom King THINKS he will be writing 100 issues of WW comics, but I'm very skeptical. Like it's true he got pretty close to 100 issues when he was writing Batman, but that was during Rebirth, when comics were being published twice a month. At a normal monthly pace, 100 main title issues works out to be a bit over EIGHT YEARS. Even with specials and annuals and possible events (or the Trinity spinoff) compressing that timeline, there's still no way in my mind that Tom hits 100 issues in any less than five years. He spent three on Batman. You know, Batman, his #1, the guy he has to bring up every issue? Do we really think he's going to spend over twice as long on Diana?
Like personally I'm just not convinced that Tom King cares enough about Wonder Woman to write her for that long. Like I think he likes her, and I think he thinks she's cool, but reading his book he seems to love to put the focus anywhere except on Diana. Like all the narration is done by the villain (meaning we don't get Diana's actual thoughts on any of this) and the backup are all TK's audition to write supersons (so we're losing page space that could be utilized to develop the current narrative in favor of possible future stories with no plot relevance)
Like idk. Tom King is talking the talk and I think he has the power at DC currently to walk the walk if he really wants to do it and his hype squad keeps sales high, but he hasn't convinced me so far with his work that he has it in him to see out so many issues of Wonder Woman, especially when Diana finally defeats the Sovereign, and if Trinity gets her own book, like what is he going to do with his remaining 80 issues? Actually telling WW stories?
It seems to me from what I've read of his WW and interviews abt it is that this "100 issues of Wonder Woman" thing is coming from his opinion that Diana deserves a 100-issue run, rather any great, passionate love for Diana that would actually motivate him to write her for that long.
So anyways, my stance is that if he's really putting in a long one (however long it may be) we just hope for the best, (Diana getting her narration boxes back and being central in her own story again, Trinity getting booted back to Themyscira to be forgotten raised offscreen, etc.) and try to make the most & wait it out
#idk i could talk more abt this but ive already talked a lot so idk#think tom king is really wanting to be pérez here (p sure i read him saying as much in an interview) but instead i predict it ending up as#more of a WML type run (just with much better art)#idk idk. worried that were going to have the Sovereign stuff take forever and ever which is super annoying to me. i literally hate him so#much. not even in a fun way like i want diana to beat the shit out of him and get him out of my comics books permanently like yesterday#also worried that hes going to try and have baby trinity be a part of the narrative. as in a diana raising her type way. like if baby#trinity gets kidnapped and she has to get her back like ok fine but think theres a possibility king hits a wall when it comes to like diana#actually being her mother. bc like diana is one of if not the busiest superhero in the dcu shes got major shit to do and no partner or#stability to actually take care of a baby while still being wonder woman. plus she has an entire island nation that would (and has!) take#that child in in an instant. so like pls go with that and not try and juggle plates and do the former#esp bc having trinity be raised on the island basically cancels out the diana's kid stuff. like not bio related not being raised like thats#just a relative homie#idk#anyways calling it now hes falling short of the hundo. hope im not proven wrong here#or that maybe one day tk wakes up with a miraculous ability to write great wonder woman stories. id be cool with that too. we take good news#here too folks#blah
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Wait shit people might actually care about me
#sorryyy for the personal posts lmao just not having a great time lately . ill go back to posting abt fandom stuff soon dw#hopefully the self loathing phase is over now cuz i really didnt enjoy that!#mf got me thinking thay everyone secretly hates me n itd be better if i was dead ahahaha#but like. my friends talk to me daily. my mutuals love me. i didnt go to school for like 3 days and my classmate who im kindaaa friends wit#texted me saying. and i quote “Hi [name]. I know its late but i hope your doing well. Hope to cya tmr.” (the full stops symbolize each text#cuz she sent three seperate texts)#and i was just. so flabbergasted at that#i didnt rlly think anyone would really notice if i was gone#i didnt think anyone cared me enough for that#i thought theyd just be indifferent to it#also i sound pathetic rn but i reread that girl's text over n over again when she sent rhat. was literally on the brink of tears#and i just. wow.#people might actually care for me. they might actuallynotice when im gone. they might actually miss me#ive been so inside my head n thinking allat bad stuff about myself that i. didnt think that people might see me differently than the way#i saw myself#really and truly i love you guys so much#even if we've never talked to each pther before or interact very little. i appreciate all of you. you guys rock#anyways aha i should stop rambling now loll. as for now i think im doing a bit better#life still sucks but hey at least i have my friends. at least i dont hate myself anymore now#at least now i dont believe that everyone was being friends with me out of pity#thank you all for everything :')#man i need a hug rn lmao#tw vent#tw sui implied#tw sui ideation#tw self loathing#tw self destructive behavior#<- dw about the tags i dont feel/do those anymore#if you wanna talk to me abt this or just talk in general hit me up!! i love talking to ppl i dont like being alone xd#love youu <33
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i love having friends who care about me i'm so grateful all the time... how on EARTH did i get this lucky !!!
#i have the best friends ever. btw!#(if you see this and think it's about you it's probably about you)#anyways. just being emotional abt people supporting me even when i'm doing badly#i used to have. Not great friendships and i'm just so grateful#to have people who i genuinely really love#who won't leave me behind because i'm not actively useful#because!! they actually!! care!!!#and idk man. its hard to spiral as much as i used to when i remember that i have people who really care abt me#it's much easier to just. be content and focus on getting better so i can get better enough to come back because i know they'll still care#like obviously my main reason for getting better is like. I Want To Be A Happy Person Again#but it's definitely aided by the fact that when I come back#i'd like to return actually stable cause my friends are such good people and they deserve the best version of myself that i can give them#and idk. i'm just being emotional on main but man it's really nice to be loved#my self worth issues are NOTHING compared to the power of “my friend is being nice to me”#anyways. ily guys soso much#tales from the deck
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(credits to ssruis)
This song is the only thing keeping me going I do not play about mr showtime 😞 nothing ruined me (made my life better) the way this song did
(Sendn. Me songs to do this with in my ask box… sniffle…)
#circuses? heh.. yeah.. im familiar… jesters? oh#even better…. rellakinoko? now hold on this is already gonna be good… tsukasa tenma? im sold. the fish has been captured. im followinf the#sirens into the deepest parts of the sea and wont be coming back. Unfortunately i had gotten t1k (t571) on ensekai for phoenix and am still#bitter about it. Emu and nene came home but the ugly blonde didnt. This is why we’re having problems tsukasa#i have a mr showtime themed custom profile that needs to be finished aand i gotta work on my one for#tsukasa4#ill be more prepared for that one im certain of it#knocking on wood#PRAYING.#t500 would have been nice you know… unfortunately i ran out of resources.#i think the amount of time and love ive poured into making everything abt this event makes up for this though. Also this is gonna sound#obnoxious but i feel like one of the five people who actually. You know. Get the event. Like its importance which ill elaborate on in a#future post. Everybody wants to talk about this event but nobody wants to read the story#and the side stories Guysss ur missing out its so good when youre not forcing urself to think tsukasa has an ed and dont even know a single#thing abt acting yet believe one google search can prove that method acting is Absolutely Totally Going To Ruin His Life#i dont think fasting was alright it was pretty stupid but what he did doesnt make him have an ed or this or that#I do think you should be very. Very careful with method acting by the way. That can mess you up. But i dont think thats where theyll be#taking tsukasa in the future. Yes itd be nice to show the risks and get a You know be careful but its not as dark and This is gonna ruin hi#😞😨My poor baby!! As people think#omg i got sidetracked LET ME TALK ABT THE BINGO???1?1? Easily distracted ass#Uhm. Where do i begin. Nvm i dont wanna write too much more but this song truly does mean the world to me#And rella’s art is so goood my eyes are always glued to it. For some reason i keep having trouble fcing the expert chart for it on ensekai#ut was just fine on jpsekai. Frowny face. I could listen to the song all day though#Those instrumentals are popping offff i tell you#hidden circus#wonderlands x showtime#wxs#wansho#commissioned song#prsk
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Yet another beautiful day to have the Maxwel tag blocked (can't see half of the posts in the Wendy tags)
#rat rambles#starve posting#maxwell posters have lost any semblance of tolerance from me ages ago Ive yet to meet a maxwell fan who's just like a normal person#and to clarify I actually do like maxwel as I am the number one just some asshole whos in too deep enjoyer#but dear god are ppl just absolutely incapable of being normal abt this man and everyone around him#and even beyond that ppl just do not get this man like please he is indeed interesting but not because of some 'retconed redemption'#like pls we can live in a world where he is not an irridemable monster and is in fact just some guy while also still being a flawed person#like the fact that he is so deeply flawed in ways that he never actually properly adressed and challenged is the interesting thing to me#like look at me. he went through horrible shit he didnt deserve. that didnt inherently make him a better or worse person#it just made him a more miserable person#and he didnt escape because of some change of heart or character development#and afterwards he teamed up with wilson because of necessity#I do think on some level he genuinely cares abt the other survivors and he does have genuine regret for how things turned out#but again those things dont inherently mean he moved past the flaws that got him here it just means he has the ability to recognize that#shit sucks and that he wish none of it happened#its why encore is one of my favorite animations from a character perspective because it shows some juicy charlie and maxwell stuff#mainly it shows both that charlie has not forgiven his ass and is manipulating him and that maxwell is still susceptible to it#which isnt a sigh of them rolling back development it's just a sign that maxwell is easy to manipulate with the right cards#which adds up considering his past and his present very well in my opinion#this is a man whos historically always ran away from his problems and is always on the hunt for a sense of control#and charlie tapped into both that and his ever present guilt#its in fact very unsurprising and not out of place for him to fall for that sort of manipulation#and it also makes for a great set up for the inevitable betrayal from charlie as maxwell is hit by the harsh reality of his situation#and that whole situation would lead to some yummy tasty parallels when charlie inevitably gets betrayed herself (I hope)#the ways charlie and maxwel are so similar yet so different facinates me deeply I love how much charlie doesnt realize shes kinda fucked#I want her to be betrayed so hard and left in the dust with no ground to stand on I want the rug pulled out from under her feet#her composition comes from her confidence in the necessity of her actions and the moral superiority she feels over maxwell#so having her sense of superiority be revoked would make for a super fascinating dynamic as she tries to justify the situation in her head#I wanna see her siral and then maybe change her pronouns idk
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Why can't you go outside?
it’s not that I *cant* it’s just that most of the time I do since my dad passed I get flooded w memories, ridiculously anxious/angry/depressed, and usually end up crying so I’ve been avoiding going out bc it generally feels like a waste of time.
#having another person with me makes things much easier#also I have way less motivation to put towards my appearance so that makes me not want to leave the house either#driving around listening to music is generally ‘better’ but I still end up crying a lot and that’s also just a waste of time but it’s fun#I also get way more startled by loud noises now and am dissociating way more#obv the agoraphobic tendencies are coming back but. whatever#not that anyone actually cares abt this but here’s all the details#not that im not feeling all these things at home either it’s just so much worse out in public so why in the world would I feel bad /#/ out there when I can feel bad under a heated blanket in my pajamas
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^ had to look at their old classmates' and childhood friends' graduation pics and celebrations and whatnot
#its FINE im fine who cares if im a little behind its not my fault i had to transfer and repeat a year bc of it#its not a race!!!!!! nobody probably remembers or particularly cares abt you anyways take ur time#man.#i only really go on insta like once or twice a month or whenever i just went to a con or smth and yet#these past six months have been awful for my self esteem (like its ever been much better rly lmao) all of them getting into good colleges#having fun and actually having friends . couldnt be me!!!!!#feel like my childhood friends ive been together with since kindergarten are so far away now too#yeah its none of our faults i had to move away in elementary at least we kept in touch. its none of our faults the pandemic happened once i#got back in the country. its none of our faults when the one time we couldve possibly met up they were suddenly busy and couldnt make it and#now i wont have a chance to see them until like december at the soonest and even that chance is slim#if i go to college abroad ill be able to see them even less too.. well no use thinking abt it now#i should go season my shrimp and heat the rice back up hrm#duck rants about something
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friendship is cool bc you get to have these funny little guys who make you happy and become a better person or whatever and laugh a lot. but then there’s the horrors (trying to see and message them frequently enough when you know you can’t possibly juggle all of them all at once and never knowing the best answer)
#nightmare.personal#maybe i tell my irls to fuck off for a week so i can just get to work repairing all my online relationships#i won't actually do that but like. my social battery is so fucked#also there's the other issues but we don't talk aboutu those <- diseased interpersonally#we do talk abt those a lot but im turning over a new leaf to be normal#this is late night confessionals. hi i know cool people. wish i fucking knew how to talk to anybody#its so stupid too bc when i message them or join a vc everyone accepts me like i was never gone and is friendly and kind and all that#but then it's like. do ppl think im not committing. do they think i don't care#and like how do i convince people i care when im barely here and barely know whats going on#idk. wish klav was here he's better at fucking online things i think#i think im doing good socializing with my irls at least. like scheduling hangouts#when my gf comes back i need to see her like asap bc my brain is fucking obliterating itself but thats unrelated#sorry this is litrally late night thoughts#dont rb btw#my irl social life is better and i think part of me sees that as more important?#like obviously all my friends are important to me diffeerently but. if i disappear on an irl for a while they'll give me shit for it#versus online that's just life you know but. i don't know.#sometimes i wonder if my online friends know how much they mean to me and i realize they probably don't and i get scared#and then i wonder how all of them have to feel about me at that point and we don't really have to go into that but like#i don't know. it's always a little a lot scary#and people seem to be so natural at doing this online but i meanwhile just fucking can't#i'm allergic to discord servers its a thing. except the one im active in which makes me happy but i still forget to talk there all the time#so im still allergic but im choosing to partake. its like the lactose intolerance of the whole group
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obsessed w looking at the old discord gc that everyone else left so its jsut me (+their old acct that got deleted) that i shared with my old best friend and since it became just me i used to send so many messages about how i felt abt her that were. mostly sad and angry and stuff etc but a lot of them are also like "well guess who has friends so much fucking better than you now loser >:>" and also a lot of song lyrics.
#“sokka is a MUCHH better character that weres blue and represses their emotions SO TAKE THAT LOSER” real quote. also real quote in the sens#its very real. sorry patton iluu still i prommy<//3 but sokka the loml sokka !!!!! <3#idk why im thinking abt her tbh . actualy ik why i put on the new masie peters song and was kinda like omg#bc it is like. yes its kinda sad to still think abt her (which tbf i dont that much anymore) but i mean like !!#instead of her who just genrelly didnt appriciate or care abt me the same that i did for her i now have so many incredible freinds who#are so much better to me and actually care abt me back when i care abt them andd im still a v much like. not to brag but a v caring kind#friend imo or at least i try to be lol and now instead of her the people that get to have that in their lives are also the same to me and#make me so much happier than she ever did and actually remember my bday and oh shit ! i won the breakup !!#flappy rambles
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the other day i was talking 2 my nana n dad abt how when i had friends i was actually 1 of the ppl most ACTIVE when doing things like talking n stuff n i said how i was the 1 who initiated most of the convos in the group chat n whatnot n sent the most msgs esp there n dad was like "mayb they got tired of u psychoanalyzing them sm [there]" or w/e w a chuckle n nana laughed 2 n i fucking saw red.
#nowadays i h8 others n im shown 2 b v not caring abt ppl n friendships but back in the day i was KINDER i was MORE NORM- ...ok i wasnt#Normal i was still v much mentally fucked n suicidal but when it come 2 SOCIALIZING i Was- n i WAS a decent friend outwardly up until i#started breaking (n even then i jus got a lot more venty on my blog but they could See my vent posts so alas. friendships r better when th#dont kno ur fucking social media so it feels like ur watched 24/7 unfortunately) i wasnt SUCKY i was an Active Participant i tried 2 b happ#tried 2 b the mood maker i always made sure silence wasnt a thing around me i TRIED n i wont b fucking accused of haha well#mayb u sucked actually lol ur a judgy piece of shit ur now-cold n vitriolic nature seeped thru there 2 huh- FUCK U#delete later
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#starting to feel so bad again im abt to rip my entire skin off they should make a me that isnt in constant fucking pain#sick of making posts complaining thats all i do at weekends apparently!!!!!!!!!!#at least ill be back at work tmr so ill have shit to do and u wont have to see all this bullshit all the time#i was so stupid to think meds would help emotionally like yeah the first two weeks were better but everyone said there was a honeymoon#period and after that it fades and im back to dealing with the exact same shit ive dealt with for ten fucking years#laura marling was so real for old stone ten thousand years and youre still on your own but you love dont you love it this way!!!#having a normal one 👍#or atwoods my darling when the light fails and the fog rolls in and youre trapped in your overturned body [...] and the red flame is#seeping out of you igniting the pavement beside your head [...] none of us is [the favourite child] else we all are#i need to suck it up and pull my fucking shit together i cant keep doing this#i dont think theyre even helping me focus anymore its been so bad this week. at least im going back to the other one tmr#and maybe itll stabilise and help again and if it doesnt im giving up#i dont know if any of it is med related bc im like this without them anyway. ohhhh my head#i just wish i wasnt so alone i wish they actually cared i can deal when its bad but bad and lonely is so so much worse and im tired#i cant even make sense anymore whatever. just venting its all fine ill get past it i always do#.vent
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Congrats on sending that application!
THANK UUUUUU
#it was to a dominos and my partner is a gm in training at a different branch and i have over a year delivery driving experience#already and know Exactly How Low Their Standards Are so im not worried about getting it‚ mostly just that my brain will still be too mushy#to handle a job again#but i mean since it is just dominos and im only aiming for part time it hopefully shouldn't be too bad#and i do not care if they don't like me bc my resumes already pretty good as is i don't need a glowing review from dominos#esp bc i could just put my bf down as a dominos reference and theyd probably just Assume i worked for him and call him#instead of the store i actually worked at KWNDLABFKSBFJD#which is v good bc having seen a lot of what goes on behind the scenes on the manager side via my bf. i already know i am#going to cause problems LMAO#i have the Transgender Working In Very Liberal Area Right Next To Very Conservative Area Protection Aura#wherein the bosses here are So Very Scared of getting in trouble for bigotry and want to look sososososo woke. that i can get away#with being way more blunt abt when shit sucks lol#bosses don't really know what to do when The One Openly Transgender One directly calls out unfair expectations to their face#and to be clear i do mean liberal as in Liberal we're still very much in the North Idaho Splash Zone so like#open bigotry doesnt happen and the public will be on your side if it does. but boy do they know actually nothing about it#you know the type i mean kwbfksbfkd#like the best example i can think of is a couple ppl at my last job still she/her'd me long after i started passing as male#and me Being A Transgender™ had made the news rounds#and my other coworkers wouldnt correct them and would just he/him and they/them me back#which im fine w bc thats how my pronouns work is just. idk whatever you think‚ if you wanna she me you can just look dumb LMAO#but crucially 99% of my coworkers Didnt know thats how that worked‚ they just knew im A Transgender and look like a man#and that everyone else didn't use she/her for me anymore‚ so like an actually left place would rightly assume#they were doing it deliberately to be shitty and correct them‚ whereas here theyre just like. ah im sure they just havent noticed#since you went by she/her when you started here#and its like no i dont think the beard i grew halfway through working there went unnoticed actually#given that Thats When The Universal He Himming Started#im rambling again sorry for this word avalanche irt a simple congrats i got distracted JEBFKABFKSBFKDBFMD#anyways. tyvm it was stressful and i still dont want to do it but its out of my hands now so i have to follow through and at least give it#a try and i appreciate the encouragement‚ it rlly did make me feel a lot better just seeing the ask#gibberasks
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