#applies to many things but
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the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.
three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.
two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.
their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.
one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.
i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.
i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.
and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?
you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.
a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.
someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.
#writeblr#warm up#this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru#but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist#ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school.#like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it.#was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes.#but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create''#when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work#part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just#like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent.#speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r#ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week#this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice.#''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.#''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt?#u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky''#we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY#''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''
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time for my oddly specific dni that is a joke and not real. ofc tag how many apply to you. dni if you:
like ranch dressing
think you “Get” the movie inception
are an only child
were/are into supernatural AND sherlock but NOT doctor who
were born after st patricks day 2002
dont like fruit or vegetables
took german in high school
have happily married parents
have a strong preference for the xbox over other consoles
have a name that was one of the top 100 in your country the year you were born
have or want more than two dogs
are a libra
are against writing/highlighting in books (like morally against it, even other people doing it in books that arent yours and have nothing to do with you)
have never worked customer service
like thunderstorms
are a man who works in tech
dont remember your dreams
dont have a favorite color
regularly wear jeans to bed
look good in hats
#i have a lot of anxiety so again i must stress this is jokes#many of these things apply to some of my dearest friends#a few of them apply to me. its whatever#ok to rb
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Columbo and the Knight (1984)
put me in the universe where Columbo ran through the 1980s and had a crossover episode with Knight Rider. I think they deserved it, and I am not just saying that because they're my two favorite Old Shows. @telebeast wrote a little fanfic blurb about it and I HAD to visualize it into a comic (which is also the longest comic I have finished thus far at five pages...), so writing credit goes to them.
Autism W!
#columbo#knight rider#art#michael knight#kitt#comic#highlight reel#crossover#telebeast#there are two small easter eggs here. can you find them. they were somehow not Entirely lost when i resized these for the public#this is what i mean when i say I Draw And It's Everyone Else's Problem. look at my INCREDIBLY niche crossover comic boy#if the knight rider fandom has like 12 people in it. how many of y'all have seen columbo#this comic is for like 4 people and me and phoenix are already two of them#niche is my specialty lets be real. weird niche obscure shit and ships nobody's paid attention to yet#not to suggest this is ship art. columbo has his wife and michael has his car lmfao#stylizing real people is EXTREMELY hard btw sorry for when they get off model. its partly a 'better imperfect than never finished' situatio#cant tell you how much i redrew some of these panels. weeps#this took me 2 weeks but i think i thumbnailed it all in may and the ideas been rollin around in my head since march#is anybody good at editing. please edit michael and columbo into an image together like its a screenshot. NOT generated. edited.#it would be so cool#ive drawn columbo a lot but i haven't drawn a lot of michaels. i was learning things about his outfit AS I WAS DOING THE DAMN#COLORS ON THIS. all the lines done. it was too late to change anything. i did all the lines and colored page by page#i realized my mistakes on like page 3. 1 and 2 were already done. it was Too Late.#imagine it though. them working a case together. switching between the more serious tone of columbo vs the goofier#action antics of michael and kitt. columbo being so impressed by Modern Technology. there's more i could say but phoenix may write#more of this crossover and i don't want to spoil it :'3#there's opportunity here though i swear. there's gold to be dug.#i like how kitt gets shading but columbo's junker peugeot doesn't. kitt looked wrong without any. columbo's car is matte and dirty#i also applied effects to this to make it look a little film-grainy and VHS like. some CRT TV vibes#the only question left is. did they put knight rider into columbo; or columbo into knight rider 🤔
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One of the worst feelings in the world is knowing you're the one trying harder.
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#poll#hyper specific poll#all of these things apply to me#so it will be v interesting to see how many of these i share w other people#these are so fun
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jesus fucking christ they were really writing that subtext with a neon pink highlighter weren't they
#merlin#bbc merlin#merthur#the darkest hour#blue rewatches merlin#while this is about merlin it also applies to so many other things so I'm tagging them#'take me with you' JESUS CHRIST DO YOU EXPECT ME TO MOVE ON#klance#korrasami#wuko#zukka#lokius#sambucky#valcarol#morgwen#hannigram#perwaine#tag your otp#tag your blorbos#byler
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❌ I hate this stupid body
Generic, makes you sound lame, no fun at parties, generally a downer
✅ I despise this vessel I am entombed within.
Foreboding, mysterious, makes you sound like an eldritch horror trapped biding your time
#the best part is this applies to so many different things#plural#plurality#plural memes#plural meme#system stuff#plural stuff#otherkin#therian#nonhuman#alterhuman#all systems are valid#sup it's Sylens#no not the H:ZD character they are unrelated#system meme#system memes#trans#transgender#pro endo#endo safe
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I'm a firm believer that Edwin does NOT have internalized homophobia ☝️ repressed his sexuality? sure, obviously. but internalized hatred for himself? NO!!!
My man immediately confessed his love to Charles once he realized what his feelings were. He was going to even earlier but literally got dragged to Hell in the middle of it !!! He did not question the validity of his feelings and he definitely didn't question whether he was allowed to feel them !!!
Edwin has a lot of complexities when it comes to dealing with and acknowledging his emotions, but this is not one of them. Charles is not one of them.
#i think when Edwin was alive they just didnt talk about queer ppl at all#pretended they didnt exist so instead of hating himself he just Didnt Know#also firm believer that when it comes to Charles its not complicated or questionable#charles is the only thing *person* edwin is sure about yk and i think that applies to everything related to charles#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#charles rowland#painland#payneland#paineland#my.txt#me.txt#i hope im making sense LMAO#also this is brought to you by so many fics giving edwin internalized homophobia#like i get it he's stoic and seems like he would but hes NOT !! and i think thats beautiful and SO IMPORTANT !!!!
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when you tell your therapist something from your past and it leaves them speechless
#had a wild session yday lads#well. it was more wild for her ig lol#i keep thinking of that tweet of why do doctors have a hard time diagnosing nd people when school bullies know right away (or smg like that)#(gonna tag this with only the things i got bc it applies to too many to list lmao)#adhd#autism#audhd#trauma#neurodivergent#neurodiversity
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Dating does not even begin to cover whatever these freaks have going on.
#punk speaks#this could apply to many things but frankly this is made for a specific audience#billford#fiddauthor#sastiel#and tomvid but I don't have a tag for that yet because I'm embarrassed
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ship dynamic: riding him while he thinks about how he failed as a father
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The thing about monsterfucking for me is that I don’t have to be physically attracted to the monster to be into it. It just has to have the right Vibes.
There’s a lot of monsters that if you just show me a picture of them, I won’t be into them at all. But if they have the right story then I’ll fall deeply in love.
#this in particular is about the mummy in The Mummy 1999#because I’m watching that movie right now#but it applies to many things
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Ah, childhood memories (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Sans#Gaster#Having such clear external-view memories of what happened when they were young would probably give Sans a lot of ammunition lol#Not that they'd know any different - their poor memories honestly :( - but having such clear memories in places would have to be weird#Most people have childhood amnesia to an extent! Tho it's hard to say when that would've applied to them anyway with their sped-up growth#Not to mention the trauma#And it's possible that doesn't apply to Monsters to begin with lol - but it's all a moot point anyway since these are their only memories!#It's sad to think of how much of themselves are missing forever since Gaster didn't experience them :(#This is what happens when you get behind on your work >:0#I really wonder what their lack of memories/restoration of memories would do for their like/dislike of certain things!#Like how Papyrus says that sitting with Sans in his lap makes a lot of sense as to why it was so familiar and comforting#But also that knowing makes it sad as well :( Knowing recolours their understanding and interpretation!#Knowing Why makes things make sense but does it actually Help? It's a tough question - certainly it hurts in the moment#The little things Gaster has infected for them and for himself ♥ Like taking notes! Like chess and sweets and spaghetti and lab coats#And dark sweaters and cigarette smoke and hugs and intelligence - how many pieces of all of them have A Feeling attached#How many more have A Memory - and even more than that A Memory Lost and unrecoverable ughhh ♥#But the little things they can hold on to hehe <3 Like pinging Gaster for what they all know and remember#Why does he even keep coming over if he knows the reception he'll get? Lol#Feels particularly self-loathing and goes to get bullied as penance pfft
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If someone is trying to justify why it's okay for them to be cruel to you over your identity, you have full permission to stop talking to them. No one deserves to be abused.
#anti transmasculinity#exorsexism#transandrophobia#transandromisia#this applies to so many things#like you can listen to folks and read theory without needing to suffer abuse#I'm not even saying ppl can't be mean to one another#it's just that it's always okay to disengage from someone who's abusing you
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obsessed with this insane evil dynamic from the few pages from torchwood absent friends that we can see
#tenth doctor#jack harkness#ianto jones#torchwood#doctor who#torchwood absent friends#janto#tenjack#<- if u want it to be but for jack's sake i really need him to get away from that thing#my art#dr who#10 era#aspec doc tag#ten has so many fucking problems in this i am OBSESSED#he expresses distaste for jack specifically for things that Also Apply To Him#of course you would fucking do that ten.
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Rereading Oathbringer, and it's once again so painfully clear to me that Lirin pushing Kaladin to become a surgeon was his desperate attempt to keep Kaladin from going to war. As a surgeon's assistant, Kaladin was exempt from being conscripted into the Alethi military, and sending him to Kharbranth would get him even further away from the war. I know Lirin gets a lot of flak for trying to push his views and desires onto Kaladin, but all I really see is a father trying his hardest to protect his son from the horrors of war while living in a society that venerates it.
#anecdotes by peachdoxie#Stormlight Archive#peachdoxie rereads Stormlight#i think the lirin criticism often strays into applying our social norms onto a fictional society#like yes it would be great if lirin had supported Kaladin's desire to be a solider#but like lirin didn't have a lot of options to keep Kaladin safe#like idk i just see lirin much more sympathetically than 'strict father forcing his views onto kaladin because he's Always Right '#i think there's a lot more nuance to lirin than that#and it's sometimes baffling how many people don't see the same things i do in his character#anyway lirin is my favorite minor character dont @ me
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