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#anyways. it’s all delusion maybe
estrangedfiance · 11 months
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it’s not my fault it’s more fun to listen to john lennon’s songs and interpret them as love poems
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I made a few new wax seal stamps out of clay (like the ones I did for my worldbuilding stuff forever ago), this time just of random symbols that I thought might look good done in the style of painting over the raised part of the wax or etc. :0c Some of them aren't carved deep enough to really show up that well, but overall they worked okay for being clay lol
#wax seal#crafts#wax stamp#stationery#Window one is kind of stinky.. I was imagining like a swirly night sky sort of looking thing so it would be a surreal contrast of a night#sky with a window in the middle that shows a daytime sky - but the silver and purple wax kind of mixed too much together#with the black and it just looks very plain black and not all that starry or anything hjbhj.. Of course the eye is probably my favorite#since all I ever do is draw eyes and still like eye imagery for some reason. The four leaf clover is very lumpy and skrunkty but also it wa#the smallest in size out of all of them so was easier to do multiple stamps of just to try it out.#The heart with eyes wax is actually more swirly in person. I wanted it to be a mix of light pink and red and white. and the wax#did kind of all blend together but in person you can definitely see MORE of the intentional swirlyness. in this it just looks plain pink.#I was going to do one eye in the heart but it looked weird. but now two seems too plain. i could have done 3?? in a pattern.. hmm#alas. I wish I could make actual metal ones. With the clay i have to paint them in a thin layer of olive oil before stamping because#otherwise the wax just kind of gets stuck in the grooves of the clay and then you can't pull it up. Very wacky ''unprofessional'' looking#set up where I'm hot gluing circles of sculpey clay to short stumps of a wooden dowel that I sawed apart with a serrated bread knife#and then using an old paintbrush to put olive oil on them whilst holding a spoon over a yankee candle flame hjbjh#ANYWAY.. I think if I were middle class/rich/etc. this would be one of the main things in my crafting room is like.. SO many colors#of wax. and all different custom made stamps designed by me. which could be much more elaborate in actual metal.. muahaha.... >:)c#RHGghhh... I actually don't want to talk much about it since (this is probably just my Obsessed With My Own World Artist Delusions) I#think I have a really cool idea for a game that could genuinely be successful if i ever get to make it and I don't want to give#everything away and spoil the whole plot/concept in hopes that one day I can actually do it - BUT - a game that I'd like to make after the#visual novel I'm making now has partially to do with the main character working as a sort of writer/scribe/artist assistant in an elven#city (set in my world/with my worldbuilding species and versions of elves and etc) and I was thinking of maybe incorporating#somehow being able to collect little writing type items like these like.. you can get different wax seal patterns or pens or etc. when I do#stuff like this in Real Life it always makes me think of that like.. ouh... this is good research.. what it shall be like to be a littol#elf collecting wax seals and such.. indeed... GRR i need to be finished with my current game NOWWW... i MUST work on other#thingss... aughh... ANYWAY.. yay. accomplishment to do One Single Thing other than Sit In The Summer Heat And Rot#though also hilarious as this was the first cool-ish day that was below 80F in a while hgvh#waking up like 'wow.. i actually feel okay today?? like I could do things?? how mysterious.. I wonder why..?? :0'' Its The Weather You Fool#Tis Always The Weather
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fisheito · 8 months
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my princess nonsense is being encouraged watch ouyt imabout to be eneaabled
OK WHATF ATHAT'S SO CUTE I HAD TO MAKE IT i know realistically there's little to no chance that rei DOESN'T know how to work heels 🤣 BUT IMAGINE.....ING.... YAKUMO GENTLY GUIDING REI IN HEELS, WEEKS BEFORE THE BIG GALA AND HAVING NONE OF HIS NORMAL FEAR OF PHYSICAL TOUCH BC HIS [TEACHER MODE] IS OVERRIDING HIS INSECURITY
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#rei looking directly at the camera like why are you subjecting me to this. i do not need any of this. i know how to do it#rei wearing stilettos the size of your head so he becomes ur very tall bird goth gf#you know how yakumo gets when he instructs someone on how to cook something#he becomes confident and just tells ppl how to do stuff without his usual amount of stutter and secondguessing#i'm gonna pretend that after his stiletto training in misty vale he gains a TINY MOLECULE of confidence due to experience#like [i can help you if you've never done it before?]#honestly i can't imagine this scenario happening because i am so SURE that rei can walk in heels HAHAHA even tho nothing has proven that#SOMETHING COME PROVE ME WRONG SO MY DELUSIONS CAN SLIDE CLOSER TO POSSIBILITY#anyway even if rei didn't know how to wear heels#would he ever mention it? would yakumo ever learn of it?#rei would probably be all . i don't need to wear heels. they can't even see them under the dress. i'll wear my practical shoes#but if he can't get away with that and will be forced to wear heels at the party...#maybe he'll go [meh. i'll figure it out] and just not wear them until the day of the dance#at which point his feet will hurt after 20 minutes and for the whole night he takes any chance to sit down#rei can be frequently spotted on SOME surface SOMEWHERE in the palace. sitting all splayed out and uncaring of propriety#because he is in PAIN and these shoes are STUPID and why do people wear them for ANYTHING . Royals are so IMPRACTICAL#yakumo keeps trying to avoid heels for the dance because he doesn't want to be any taller than he already is#i bet there's a full convo about it between him and eiden#eiden trying to reassure him that if he wants to wear heels then he shouldn't let others' perception stop him from doing so#but if he genuinely doesn't want to wear them then that's ok too#eiden craning his neck up at yakumo in heels like you're my pretty princess 1-2 heads taller than me your height doesn't matter 🥰#i'm now torn. yakumo and rei both wearing heels now? in order to stay at similar heights?#or. rei starting out with heels. getting tired of them. going barefoot for the rest of the night lol#yakumo and rei still dancing in their ballgowns together but a much shorter rei leads a yakumo in heels#yes. yes this is the vision#yakurei#replies#nu carnival yakumo#nu carnival rei
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evereverest2 · 27 days
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):
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOGAN LERMAN IS ENGAGED?????
AND NOT TO ME???? 😭😭
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pikkish · 6 months
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I know I’m probably really late to this but if that ask game is still happening I’d like to ask desire for Caraval.
AUGH ITS BEEN LIKE 4 MONTHS SINCE I REBLOGGED THAT MEME but yeah sure I'm always down to talk about characters!
desire: What's one thing your OC wants more than anything in the world? Are they open with that desire? Why or why not? What would they do to fulfill it?
The one thing that Caraval desires more than anything else is connection. Family. People he knows he can trust to have his back in a tight spot, and people who, in turn, he can help pull out of their own tight spots. He wants to be part of something, not necessarily something big, or grand, or world changing, but something close and purposeful. He wants community.
Unfortunately, this has been denied to him multiple times, from the family he was born into dying to illness while he was away, despite the money and medicine he sent home to them, to his reputation with the family he made in his squad being destroyed after it was discovered he was using his status as a surgeon to smuggle drugs. Follow that up with a long period of only being able to find work with the more unsavorable crowds who don't care so much about morality, and he's gotten a bit bitter and cynical. He knows family is what he wants. He just doesn't expect to really be able to get it anymore.
As for what he's willing to do for that family, should he have it, well. It's no coincidence he was discovered smuggling drugs just around the same time of his family's illness.
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woolydemon · 5 months
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for ppl that know my tf fan lore you would think I'd be ryu/kita pilled since I was blur/bee CEO but actually I was driven by my shock/bee instincts to be drawn to ake/kita instead <- none of these words are in the bible
#THERES A METHOD TO MY MADNESS#ok ok ok. ryu/kita. its the spunky bro electric yellow guy and the autistic weird blue guy. thats straight up blur/bee and i admit it#THE BLUE GUY IS EVEN TALLER THAN THE YELLOW GUY. ITS SO BLURBEE#but like for me. i def enjoy ryu/kita a lot but it doesnt make me crazy like blurbee does. nor ake/kita#BUT LIKE OK. THIS IS WHERE ME SAYING AKE/KITA IS LIKE SHOCK/BEE GETS INTO INSANE PPL TERRITORY#ok . for one. ermmmmmmm. shockwave .... was my first goro.#bc he has the whole. false identity meant to decive vs true identity as a villain thing. like gorby#and also i admit. i do have my v specific fan interpretation of him that makes him more sympathetic BUT ALSO THATS LIKE JUST ME.#ITS NOT IN CANON. IM AWARE OF MY DELUSION. i have fun though its ok. i separate fan interpretation from canon text. i have media literacy#the real insane part though is trying to explain why yusuke takes on a bee role.#to preface its not matching in personality. at all. they are nothing alike#its not the personality thats key here. its the role and dynamic he specifically has with shockwave#in which hes kinda a more lighter character that often gets religated as comic relief in the source material#but does have a genuine depth to him that could be taken more seriously but that usually gets ignored#and paired up with the antagonist guy with conflicting identity he pulls out a better side from them#and also they have the capacity to be sooo crazy dramas and toxic yaois and redemption like. whatever.#IM INSANE. IM INSANE IM INSANE. GOD .#i . i . i . im.... idk man i love dynamics#shock/bee still isnt like my top tf:a rarepair. but also ryu/kita isnt my top personba 5 pair . for some inexplicable reason#when i rlly enjoy both these kinds of dynamics but then sometimes it clicks with me more with certain character and a lil less with others#im a complex inexplicable enigma. but also maybe some characters just make it work better for me#i think largely overall though#im drawn to dynamics that have a hint of smth in the source and are expanded upon more in transformative material#anyway blah blah blah all that though#the real consistency is i keep having the same favorite character in stuff and its the blue autistic guy#rando thoughtz
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kidfoundonstreets · 11 months
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I DONT HAVE THE IMAGES IRGHT NOW BUT YOU UNDETRNSAD?? YOU GET ?? YOLU GET? IM MADLY I NLOV WITH YOU TIWLIGHTRCADE MY GOOD FRIEND MY COMRADEMY RIDE ROD IE
#freak to freak communication you know ?#thank u . u r the best ever <3#i really enjoy ur rants and talkings always always.. i hope we r buried skeleton together all for meotauls#anyway matty and ahshe silluy in the way that thjey absooltuely fucking hate eahcother nad ahse has dienfitley b#locked many things out as his life froze after his family died therefore he hasnt had time to process the anger towards matty#maybe he has had anger nad bitterness towards other things but i dont feel like matty is high on his priority right now esp#since he doesnt know wher eh eis but hes still a deep rooted issue - and its not thast he hasnt accepted his familys#death exactly (thouhg i guess that is it but in other wording) its that he hasnt accepted it ending like this#he has to think about his family dead to think about summoning them back yet still i do think he does have#many delusions where they are alive and the thought of going back to them is the only thing keeping him going really#sometimes i think about how even wehn hes crossed the line and killed so#mebody hes still going on it feels like a dead corpse being raked across the floor to lose another piece of who he is once again#kid's heart#BUT THAT ISNT WHAT I WNATED TO TALK ABOUT AURGHH!!#i think that in the past maybe possuibnly you have to be another level of ill to get this far#but ashe geeneeuinly thought of matty as a good friend who was close to him etc etc but on mattys side its harder#because theres no clear intetion ill make up my own i say he did value ashe in a way but#in the end what did indeed win out was his hatred and infeoririuty towards ashe - i dont think he even wouldve goen that far#if he didnt know ashe o rmaybe he wouldve done it sooner - he would spend time with ashe normally with the thought#of how hes using him bnack in his head then go home nad the feelings would pile up pile up pile up esp since his parents#would lay the pressure on thick meanwhile whenever he went to ashes house it wa s ashining exmaple#of what he didnt hvae#and because matty is selfish. it drives him insane#i find it kinda funny how ashe got his trust broken by him leaving such a scar yet now hes#lying to people as matty was as well#i can say more but im scared.
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moonfurthetemmie · 1 year
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are everyone sexualities the same or they r like in fatal flaws??
ALSO is there XChara??? ( IDK IF U ANSWERED THIS I can't seem to find it anywhere if someone asked before me )
I have few more but I forgot what ( I will ask when I do ( aka I thought that in the morning and rn it's around midnight JDUUDJD )
Yeah everyone’s the same I think
Delusion MIGHT be on the ace spectrum but he’s also too busy pretending to be being god to bother with that stuff, + his aura makes his emotions and shit weird so he’s not really thinking about people much in terms of ‘would I smooch/hold hands with/sleep with this person?’
Maybe if he spent some time with someone with his aura turned off (which he’d need quite a powerful magic suppressor for, and atm the only ones they have that are strong enough are in his apartment and the max security cells) he’d find out he is attracted to people
I say all that as an ace person btw. And also someone with bad memory hold on
@wheezethebluejay did we make him ace for sure or is the “official” answer just ‘I dunno maybe
Other than that, and an obligatory mention that Pluto is mostly gay but he does have some attraction to girls (tho Kai made that canon for Fatal Flaws too, if I remember right), everyone’s the same. Slash and Hunter are bi, Byte is pan, Gouge is abro. Etc
XChara I don’t think has been thought about once. In all fairness, tho, they barely exist in normal DS anymore, too. No idea where the kid is. They’re not really important, anyways
i haven’t watched Underverse in an age and a half but there’s a non-0 chance that they’re dead. like super duper dead. slash murderized them. Maybe. Idk! id have to rewatch Underverse
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josephtrohman · 1 year
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this photo really really really doesn’t help my delusions. i feel like i’m really really going insane
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j1998v · 10 months
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the only thing that comforts me now is the fact that im the flesh maggots adore.
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widevibratobitch · 11 months
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#tw ed#saw a picture of myself from when i was *checks notes* at my fucking worst with my ED but that meant i was also Thinner.#i really should Go Back huh. maybe if i did i wouldnt feel. Like This.#it'd prolly mean id start losing my hair again which. not a big fan. BUT.#if i was really dedicated i could also lose my period which. huge fan. that was one of the best things that ever happened to me tbh#i could have it all back. maybe i could even get farther than the last time. all it would take is uhh feeling utterly fucking miserable#having no energy for the most basic stuff let alone singing and thinking about nothing and i mean NOTHING but calories 24/7.#but hey. maybe i could like. lose 5 kg for my troubles and then gain back twice as much when i decide again that i just Cant Live Like This#totally worth it huh#anyway. i miss hating my body A Little Less and people being Nicer to me and everyone telling me how good of a job im doing#and encouraging me to keep going. and i miss the sense of Accomplishment and the Pride and the Not Feeling Disgusting#or at least Making Up For It by just. not eating lol#cause like its not like im actually much better mentally am i lmao clearly im not. only now im both miserable AND fat.#obviously ill never be s/kinny let alone as s/kinny as my friends. ill still look like a glitch in the system and a mistake next to them.#but if i have to be miserable anyway i could at least be. less f/at about it right. maybe then ill be worth something <3#...and other delusions you keep cultivating because there's something deeply and inherently wrong with you#my new bestseller coming soon to your nearest bookshop dont miss it its only $free.99!
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piplupod · 11 months
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yet again i am trying to figure out how much to tell the counselor/therapist about how bad things are getting bc the considerations i must take into account include:
1) will i be put into the psych ward for this, and
2) will telling a professional actually help me, what kind of help would actually be available for this, and
3) are they going to give me more medications that don't actually address or fix the root of the problem while still giving me awful side effects that I'm just supposed to deal with and hopefully not end up in the hospital for
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moodr1ng · 11 months
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whenever i see a vamp or a dracula or those feratu i go so insane. like thats meeee thats what i ammm
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izloveshorses · 1 year
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one day i will be able to watch rogue one without fully genuinely believing they will make it off scarif this time,,,, but today is not that day
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