#anyways point is i have liked this person like literally all year. and i do not know what i’m doing
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This video is literally propaganda, of exactly the kind that you should expect to find on TikTok, and you just don't notice or care because it confirms things that you want to believe anyway. The app promotes videos like this, and suppresses those that are unfavorable to the Chinese state, because that is required of them under the Chinese censorship regime.
To claim that the US is "just as bad or worse" than China on things like worker protections and freedom of speech is profoundly ignorant. The person in that video does not know what they are talking about, and you should not be spreading this uncritically.
This much is true: - The US and Chinese governments both do some good things and many bad things. - The people in both countries have a lot in common, share many of the same struggles, and should push both governments to be better.
However, for nearly all the specific claims, it's dead wrong:
Mass surveillance (in China; in the US) Yes, the US has seen expansion of its surveillance apparatus and erosion of our right to privacy in recent years (especially since the Patriot Act), but China blows everyone else out of the water. They have an immense network of state-controlled CCTV—much of it incorporating computer vision and facial recognition—with the explicit goal of monitoring 100% of public space. They also impose controls on digital activity that make anonymous or private (encrypted) communication practically impossible.
Censorship (in China; in the US) This is just laughable. Efforts to gloss over the uglier parts of US history in some public school districts are reprehensible, but it does not compare to China's "Great Firewall" and nationwide suppression of certain kinds of speech. The fact that you can openly discuss this in news and social media is its own proof. Good journalism being difficult to monetize is a bigger problem, but it's not like it's made easier by additionally having to get government approval for everything you publish and risking imprisonment if you don't.
Freedom of Speech/"You're trying to ban this app right now" The issue with TikTok is not about speech; the same videos and comments can be uploaded anywhere else. But since you mention it, we should note that TikTok was never available in China—they have their own version of the app, Douyin, which complies with their digital censorship and surveillance laws. Because, again, those are far more strict than what we have in the US.
Human Rights Violations Abortion access is a genuine W for China, I'll give you that one. But holy shit do they have some awful things going on too. Honestly it's too depressing for me to dig too far into this, or the Native American and Uyghur situations. It's all terrible.
Working Conditions You cannot be serious with this. You know about sweatshops. Working conditions in China are generally bad. Their lowest minimum wage nationally is less than $1.50/hr. The US has the fifth highest median income worldwide. Get real.
Healthcare Universal healthcare is enviable, and the US really needs to stop artificially restricting its supply of doctors. There's so many factors here that I don't know if comparison is meaningful, but as one point in our defense, healthcare outcomes are still generally better in the US than in China. We spend more for it, but we also earn more to begin with.
Gun Control Yeah, this one is obviously an L for the US. Some people care more about gun ownership; I'm not one of them.
Homelessness (in China; in the US) Homelessness rates per capita seem pretty similar between the two countries, and both are working to address it with government programs, to varying degrees of success. There are people sleeping on streets and under bridges in China, and they have their own anti-homeless architecture, too.
Democracy/Authoritarianism Weird, the video didn't mention this one. You can probably guess why.
you have more in common with the average citizen in china than any us politician
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Ok there seems to be some people still unconvinced with having a reverse crush with Sonic and Amy so Im going to give my input about it, in my opinion it's even logical at this point:
The Sonic from the videogames and the Sonic from the live action movies are obviously different, Videogame Sonic is often portrayed as someone very confident, someone who is already a hero, too cool for school, someone so free that even though he has a lot of friends he seems to like and treasure his time alone, also it's been confirmed that SEGA doesn't like Sonic having strong emotions, also he has already knowledge of his homeworld and was never surprised to see other people of his kind and the first portrayals of Amy were too pushy, stalky and obsessed with him, he was annoyed by her and it was doom to be a one sided crush until the recent changes in her behavior that as simple as she is still openly in love with him but she isn't forcing it on him and as a result he is more comfortable with her and he doesn't reject her as much as before or at all so we don't have a relationship confirmed but we got a ambiguous relationship like: "yes there is something cooking but you only get to smell the food, you'll never eat it"
Then we have the Sonic of the movies, this Sonic barely knows nothing about his homeworld aside the parts his caretaker who was an owl and not his biological mom allowed him to be and is also aware of the echidnas because he was attacked by them before coming to earth. Then on earth he was heartbreakingly lonely for years and that made him be socially awkward and clumsy even though he is an extrovert even pretending he was familiar with Tom and Maddie before he actually became their "son" , this Sonic had to learn to fight on the way through the movies while dangerous things just suddenly kept happening to him, he wasn't a match for knuckles at the beginning because knuckles was already an expert fighter and Sonic wasn't, he wasn't immediately accepting with Tails because he was not confident enough to trust someone he just met even though Tails was helping him and he almost killed Shadow on a fit of vengeful rage, this is not how videogame Sonic behaves, he isn't this much awkward and emotional teenager, movie Sonic is more energetic than Sonic Boom's Sonic and just as chatty as Sonic prime's Sonic and almost nothing like SonicX's Sonic (I don't know the other series he has), also Shadow is literally the first other Hedgehog he ever saw in his life. Also movie Amy is already a badass fighter, that comes from his homeworld, she probably already saw other hedgehogs, also I'm sure she has also the Tarot cards skills she has in the games (and that's why she is there), THIS is the Amy that presents herself to Sonic: a badass female hedgehog that saved him under the moonlight, the second Hedgehog he meets but specifically the FIRST FEMALE hedgehog he ever sees! So given the clumsy wannabe cool dork teenager personality he has, being the first time he sees a female of his species, saving him with such a badass move, an encounter alone in the night... Do you really think is realistic to expect him to be cool and collected about it? This is a huge deal 😂😂, there's no way logically speaking this Sonic isn't going to be nervous and awkward, is impossible to think he is not going to be into Amy 🤣🤣 after that.
But I don't think this is a "reverse crush" I totally think that obviously Amy is going to have a crush on him too, just not as outrageously obvious and obsessive, I think is going to be: "he acts clumsy, she thinks he is cute" and then she'll fall harder once she sees his heroic side, something like: "he fell first, she fell harder" what do you think?
Also, I just noticed that Shadow is kinda in the same situation as Sonic... I mean this time he isn't a creation but a finding inside a meteorite... He has never seen a girl hedgehog either right? Anyway giving his personality I doubt he would be a clumsy dork with her like Sonic would be... I mean it's Shadow 🤷🤷 but maybe she is a bit into him and Sonic gets jealous... Who knows 😏 a bit of Shadamy doesn't hurt.
But again, don't expect anything canon canon, it's probably going to be as I said before: "something is cooking but we only get to smell the food and never eat it"
#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#amy rose#sonic the hedghog movie#knuckles the echidna#rouge the bat#sonamy#shadow the hedgehog#shadamy#sonic idw#sonic movie
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like there is a (usually subconscious) perception among medical professionals that any degree of patient self advocacy is a threat to their expert status & simultaneously in psychiatry specifically it's ultra important that everyone toe the line because these aren't diagnoses that you can like physically document even.
hgkgj3m i was diagnosed by a psychiatrist with "cluster b" in the psych emergency for patient self advocacy and not backing down on seeing a pain specialist after years of jumping through hoops to no avail... also said the opioid epidemic was a result of gross medical neglect in overprescribing and was now resulting in gross medical neglect the other way w underprescribing
diagnosed with Extra Not A Disorder, i think they literally couldnt decide which "this person is manipulative and sinister" disorder to give me, for undermining their expert status and that of doctors everywhere by not accepting being patronised and pathologised (tried to blame it on hrt, Maybe i would Change My Mind™) and suggesting doctors could be responsible for causing harm ^_^
this patient thinks she knows so much and is better than Me she must be a narcissist... but shes manipulating me she must be evil hysterical woman... but she's icky trans so maybe she's a sociopath (male coded)... but she's making such a big deal out of this maybe she's histrionic... eh it's not like these disorders have quantifiable symptoms lets just say it's the whole category
alright so i generally think this isn't an issue of overprescribing per se (i think drugs should all be legalised and available lol) but one of lying about the risks—whether or not someone 'needs' opioids for a broken ankle, they do need to be told that opioids have addiction potential, and that is information that the sacklers were massaging out of their trial data and that doctors in turn were not telling their patients, even after it was very obvious to anyone doing followups that the risk existed. & like i say this as someone who did start doing opioids because they were around the house lol. i don't think the answer here is that doctors magically become able to determine with pinpoint accuracy who actually 'needs' the drugs—there is no way to eliminate human error from that process, for one, and anyway i think people should be able to make their own decisions on substance use in general. but you have to be doing that with actual full information. but i do certainly agree the underprescribing is an issue—this has always been a problem for people with chronic pain/illness, and media coverage of the 'opioid epidemic' (scare quotes bc i think the epidemic framing is a bad one) has certainly made this worse.
anyway though. this is funny cause i initially got shuttled to psychiatry because i was trying to get my chronic fatigue diagnosed, and i definitely think asking for pills was a factor in the psych deciding i was bpd or hpd or bipolar or whatever he even said lol. you always have to do this little song and dance with them where you showed up to the office of the prescribing professional but now you have to pretend you're not looking for a prescription becsuse if you want it too much that's Bad obviously. and then because PDs in particular and psych diagnoses in general are vibes based, it's literally just the psych announcing in medicalese that they don't like you. if you look at the criteria for some of the PDs they even explicitly include points for how the patient 'makes' the doctor feel akajaksajs like literally i diagnose you with im doing transmisogyny to you
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✶ RATING YOUR DRS ✶
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⋆ hogwarts 7/10 ok so I personally havent even watched harry potter but it seems awesome,, hogwarts is a classic since basically every shifter has a hogwarts dr but who wouldnt wanna learn magic ?! at the same time i also kinda dont get why you would want to shift to a school from all places ALSO CONSIDERING HOW MANY PEOPLE THERE ARE AND HOW MEAN SOME OF THE TEACHERS ARE BUT
⋆ twilight 7/10 i used to LOVE twilight when i was like 12 (confession i was team jacob ,, and lowk still am.. HES HOTTER OK DONT BLAME ME) and i LOVE the vibe,, highly depends on who youre shifting for tho (if its alice then 8/10 shes like wow)
⋆ fame 7/10 ok i keep rating everything 7 but IDK fame is good but i feel like id get bored after like a few shifts (even though i still have a fame dr) but if you know how to spice it up for yourself then good for you!! (bonus points if its set in the 70s-2000s)
⋆ mermaid 8/10 rated it an 8 instead of a 7 because i keep rating everything 7… anyways its cool but again i feel like i would get bored (unless you know how to spice it up AGAIN) i do fw mermaid more because its like magical and you can script in a forbidden fling with a human or something.. (can you tell i have commitment issues) now i want to make a mermaid dr and design my tail omg
⋆ band/music artist 8/10 as most of yall probably know i do have a band dr so how could i rate it anything lower?! anyways i love hearing about peoples band drs (or any drs for that matter but especially bands bc i can get inspo for my own teehee) i think developing everything for that dr can be super fun and putting together your little group and whatnot
⋆ apocalypse 8/10 would probably have rated this much lower if i hadnt seen those aesthetic slideshow games on tiktok where youre packing for and trying to survive an apocalypse BUT i feel like if you scripted in safety and good vibes it could be a lot of fun and now i wanna make a zombie apocalypse dr..
⋆ the backrooms 6/10 you are BOLD for that,, i get creeped out by just watching a tiktok about them (im aware that the backrooms were on my dr ideas post..) it lowkey depends who youre with because shifting there alone would actually be CRAZY..
⋆ better cr 5.5/10 i dont really get the consept of this like if i were to make a better cr i would FIRST OF ALL change basically everything and atp it wouldnt even be a better cr just a good dr ykwim and how do you come back after shifting there and not feel depressed asf😭
⋆ heartbreak high 5.5/10 i feel like not many people have seen this show and also i dont really fw shifting to shows or movies as much as your own creations but i did like the show itself,, i honestly i wouldnt personally shift there since the vibes are like too.. like 2020 and some people are real assholes but you do you it could be super fun id actually love to know about all the drama
⋆ euphoria 6/10 idk why i like euphoria more than heartbreak high they lowkey give me the same vibe but euphoria is like a better version (i literally havent even seen this but i did watch like 2 hours worth of it from tiktok) ANYWAYS most people there are ASSHOLES too and again PERSONALLY WOULDNT WANT TO GO THERE but again would love to hear more about the drama because there must be tons of that
⋆ monster high 9/10 ok so why did i not think of this before i LOVED monster high when i was a child but im lowkey scared of shifting to an animated world idk it feels off.. the vibes and there tho love that for you
⋆ dead poets society 8/10 again personally havent watched it but from what ive heard it seems cool (that with about 200 other movies have been sitting on my watchlist for years but my commitment issues are so bad i cant commit to watching one movie so i will probably never watch it oops) anyways i want to make a secret society dr now
⋆ my little pony 7/10 oh little me would have LOVED this but again i cant with the animated drs ESPECIALLY considering you would be a PONY?? i need to know how this feels or like what.. i love mlp but honestly (tw: opinion) TWILIGHT IS SO ANNOYING I COULD NOTTTT STAND HER ASS (yes i do know id be able to script her out but i like complaining)
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifters#shifting#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting community#shifting consciousness#shifting diary#shifting script#shifting to hogwarts#shifts#shift#shifting motivation#shiftingrealities#fame dr#boarding school dr#dr s/o#small town dr#hogwarts dr#band dr#dr ideas#dr idea#desired reality
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thoughts on dave and aradia (<>)?
day 356
BIG fan tbh. in this house we love and respect timerails
truly yall read this log and tell me theyre not cute
#day 356#year 4#dave strider#aradia megido#aradave#homestuck#she really saw this kid and was like OH YOU HAVE ISSUES WITH YOUR MORTALITY?? :D#boy do i have some relevant life experience and wisdom to impart on THAT ISSUE SPECIFICALLY#and then she just. very gently and kindly makes the subject more approachable for ghostdave#the pesterlog i linked is literally my FAVORITE aradia moment. to me it is THE character defining moment for god tier aradia#yes she is being kind of ominous and trickstery at first#but it VERY quickly becomes clear shes got genuine concern for this kid she's had very little to do with up until this point#she really wants to connect with him over their shared time aspect stuff#and she really DOES care about how he feels about everything. she wants to help and she wants to put him at ease#because she KNOWS from experience that being dead and having to cope with what that means for you is like VERY UPSETTING AND TRAUMATIC#shes not just like. 'hee hee i think death is great and awesome because im edgy'#shes like 'no dude being dead is scary if you dont have anybody to explain this shit to you. so im going to explain it-'#'-and hopefully by the end of this conversation you will have some new things to feel relief and maybe even joy and excitement about'#'not just in spite of the death thing but BECAUSE of it'#i know shes spooky and has weirdgirl swag and we all love that about her but like#at her core she is a very KIND person. she may occasionally struggle to connect to people through the Death Special Interest Haze#but she WANTS to and when she DOES she is like. a genuinely very warm and comforting presence for her friends#ANYWAY. if andrew hussie or i guess james roach now want to give me an honorary doctorate for my 12+ years of intensive aradia studies#i will be here waiting patiently#timerails
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#meme#homemade memes#cw dysphoria#trans#bones are stupid#cw dysphoria venting#waiting out current phase of transition changes to happen#(cause I got my dose raised again in april & am waiting for my next two surgeries & continuing tryna build muscle 😔)#hoping it'll get to a point eventually where the affirming bits are overpowering enough to ppl's perception#that I can dress the bits I can't change (like hips) in things that suit them#and do the whole embracing looking trans thing without worrying abt the misgendering#but alas I won't believe in my body's ability to do that until I see it#seeing as I still get lady-ed & unquestioningly she/her-ed 5 years into HRT + post two highly visible surgeries#+ fully dressed in men's clothes + sporting the shortest hair I've ever had -.-#cis ppl learn what transmascs look like & what that means for words you use on them challenge 2024- difficulty level: impossible apparently#I've had several ppl in the last few months that I literally TOLD I am trans/'it's he/him'/was clocked as trans by#who then STILL proceeded to misgender me anyway???#like what more can I do than literally straight up tell you????#I told a clinician who was looking at my knee the other month that I was trans (cause they always ask abt all meds n diagnoses)#and he misgendered me as a trans woman on his report like-#sir I am 5'4" and have a flat chest baby face and facial hair#and I was telling you abt how I've been on HRT for years and have had several Transgender Surgeries#you're a bone doctor you know how bones work and what their limitations are and you have functionning eyes#you should be able to put 2 and 2 together abt how this works even if you've never met a trans person holy fuck#(I wrote a complaint and they amended the report and sent me an apology meanwhile but still like- buddy wtf)
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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i just went to bed, then 15 minutes later got out of bed and turned the lights on, grabbed a pencil and sticky note, and began frantically calculating my total possible annual leave between now and December 2025. Again.
just in case anyone is wondering just how meticulous and obsessive i am over future travel and time off
#it seems more insane in person when you can see how many dates and numbers i wrote down#i do this literally all the time when bored#i never take a day off that isnt travel related lol#i had the chance to do it 3 times this month but instead i decided to work 9 hours days next week and week after next#so that i dont have to take any time#i could also save myself another 2 days leave if i worked 10 hour days the next two weeks after that#but idk if i hate myself enough for that#i also can earn credit time by voluntarily working over timr for up to 3 days total credit.#i use this as much as possible.#aaaaaand i get comp time for other work after hours (like my 5 hours from working on a Saturday in august that i havent touched yet)#i am literally insane about this btw.#my calculations this year assume i am not taking black friday off. if i do i will recalculate#anyway. in case you're ever like 'how does she take all these trips'#the answer is that i just obsessively track every single hour to the point where i'm working a year and a half in advance 😃
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i think growing up is just life repeatedly sucker punching you and saying bitch you thought things were gonna better lmao no you're so naive and stupid for having hope in 20 years the world will be flaming bag of garbage and no matter how hard you work you'll get eliminated at some point
#and then you just have to get up and keep living anyway because what else is there to do?#but man my heart keeps feeling heavier with every blow#2024 has literally been the worst year ever god personally too#like everytime i think it can't possibly get worse than this it does#i remember literally 9th jan i had such a horrible breakdown in an auto because the first friend i ever made#after school was leaving my work and therefore my life#9 days into the year. seriously. and i was so happy on 8th because it was my birthday#i don't know im trying hard to think okay this doesn't even affect me it's fine im privileged enough that even my own countrys politics#barely affects me#but just. india is already so behind in everything. if developed nations are doing shit like this then well#it will never get better right like who do we even strive to be#i want to get more into indian politics but my god. it's so horrifying and depressing all the time#like i remember resolving to follow politics closely few years ago and the first news#i read was about some minister talking about how girls skirts lengths IN SCHOOL is the reason boys do sa and boys will be boys etc etc#i know i could just follow business news stuff like that god knows it'll help in my field but it just. doesn't resonate with me doesn't#make me feel anything at all. like i so desperately want to care about ooh stock markets and how to grow your money etc etc#but when i think about being rich enough to invest idle money all i can think is sitting in my own home peacefully#drinking a glass of cold coffee and just being able to breathe freely because me and my sister used to joke in childhood#when dad went thru a coffee v bad for health phase and he wouldn't let us drink it so we would drink it very sneakily#at night when he was asleep or went out for an hour and make absolutely no noise while mixing the sugar. we said that we know#we'll* know we have achieved true freedom and happiness in life when we can peacefully drink cold coffee in the hall and not secretly#in the dead of night in our room#i don't even know what im talking about and my period is late again and nothing is working and my lazer focus#that i had built in the past few weeks is gone because suddenly im like what is the point????#i just don't understand how the fuck humans can fight over stupid fucking things like who is kissing who and who is doing what with their#body instead of focusing on collective issues like our planet is dying so fucking fast and every summer is getting impossibler to survive#i hate that the united states control the UN fuck this world fr man i hate being born in such horrible helpless times#like call me a kid or dumb or whatever but i cannot understand how MILLIONS of people do not#have sympathy for ppl around them and who don't care about the planet at all like how????? how did you grow up????#not trying to boast but this is so natural to me!!! didn't you make save water save earth posters in school!!! didn't anyone
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I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently
#facebook always does that 'here's a post from this day 8 years ago' thing. and I see old comments interacting#with people and it's so like.. OOOOO~~ where are they now?? what's going on? how much have they changed as people?#how much are they the same? this is fascinating. i should contact them!!' but then it's like... take that to it's logical conclusion though#you would contact them and then IF they even responded it would take you 80 years to respond and then they would#think there was something wrong or that you were trying to be insulting or something. To contact anyone I need to include an 85 page#disclaimer of all of my social issues & mental illness things. 'If i take 3 weeks to reply I promise it has nothing to do with u' etc lol#THIS is why more people need to be into phone calls/voice calls/some form of audio real time communication/etc.#I think one of the main things that's hard about messaging through text for me is it's so unscheduled and open ended#(plus it takes forever if you're talking about anything in detail and gets very long very quickly)#because like you can send a message and then just get a reply whenever. and then you're expected to reply back whenever#so it's like you never know when the response will come or when a new obligation to reply can come up? so it's like this sudden thing with#no outline?? if that makes sense. whereas a phone call is very like 'hello let's schedule a call from 10am - 2pm on thursday'. And you know#EXACTLY when the interaction will start and EXACTLY when it will end and you can plan around it in your schedule easily.#I have the reverse thing of a lot of people (how people don't pick up phone calls/hate calls/only text)#I would literally talk on the phone with a stranger. I would have a discord voice chat with someone I barely know.#if someone I hardly even remember from elementary school asked to have a voice call with me out of nowhere I would do it.#but if a stranger MESSAGED me?? or someone I barely know sent me a TEXT or something?? I will never reply probably#It's just too vague and weird. and you can't read voice tone over text. and the interaction could last forever with no clear end#point and etc. etc. But a call is like. set. established. clear boundaries. you can read the flow of conversation better. rapport. etc. etc#I get that I guess people feel more anonymous or distanced over text?? but you can have fake phone numbers on the computer. or do like disc#rd calls. or zoom without a camera or etc. etc. Also the distance that's present in text is BAD distance because it just means that tone is#not conveyed properly and you will never truly get a sense of the person's conversational vibe or mannerisms or how well you really click.#ANYWAY ghgjh...... I'm so so so interested in concepts of like.. How did that one kid I used to talk to in elementary school#but then they moved away in 5th grade - how did they end up? what are they doing now?? etc. etc. Like despite the severe social anhedonia#and general lack of connection with others I'm just really fascinated in like.. idk. the human development of it all and like#the concept of how we're actually a million different people through the course of our lives ever evolving in different iterations and etc.#PLUS again. i love nostalgia. sometimes old peple you know might remember a shared memory or can tell you about something you forgot#or etc. like it's SUCH A COOL THING in CONCEPT but I am too socially inept generally speaking lol. which people I still talk to today are#familiar with my 'phone call once every few months' communication style. but strangers would just be like... wtf. And I don't blame them#Sure I literally cannot change the physical health + brain issues i have - but also I know enough to not put others through that lol
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there is nothing that will grow your ego faster than a little dog following you around instead listening of anyone else. my puppy now
#just me hi#we got a puppy btw I may have failed to mention that lmfvsh#He's so cute ? He's so cute dude#I'm not a dog person and I don't know how I'm supposed to like. Interact with him (he doesn't purr or try to kill me when he doesn't like#stuff so how do I know ? concerned about this hvfhs) but I am rubbing his little head and baby talking him#fish likely don't know he exists cats Hate him#<- they won't let me touch them because they don't like the dog smell :(#They'll get acclimated at one point but my little feelings. Owch#also idk what this dude's name is one minute it's alote the next it's lindo now he's martín what's going On#I go 'Hiiiii :D' and he goes ':D !' and that's how we're doing this kfvshf#Also idk if I mentioned this already but the dog at my job likes me too. Apparently he doesn't do that often cuz there's a guy that's tried#To be buddies w/ him for like 20 years or smth and -I- thought one week of standoffishness was much KGHFS#I am so sorry guy I forgot the name of bc I don't think I've interacted with you before though to be honest I prolly woulda forgotten it by#now anyway and that's really on me. What was I saying. Oh yea sorry about the dog thing Guy. It's so tragic#kinda funny to have the same problem dog people say they have with cats like 'you can't tell how they're feeling!!'#first of all yes you can. They're so obvious about it they're literally biting violence killing you if they don't like it#Unless! They are playing :) and I can't explain how I know they're playing except for that little roll they do in the middle of it. adorabl#I don't think i had a second of all but aside from the tail wagging is he gonna like. Give me a fatal stink eye if I annoy him#I gotta look these things up......#He keeps trying nibble on my hands and idk what to do about that ? He's not putting any pressure but I don't like his Wet Wet mouth lmfvshf#Which btw his mouth is SO wet. Idk why I though only some dogs had a substantial amount of spit but this dude has a borderline human-wet#mouth. There's. wet in there#//OH i gtg TOODLESSSS
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looking for umbrella academy fics is like okay do i wanna see five relax and have a nice time, maybe go for a walk, get a dog, or do i wanna see klaus being stupidly overpowered with his unkillable ghost army and his levitation and his telekinesis that's powerful enough to literally single-handedly save the world but only works when he's not wearing shoes for some reason and his complete inability to die or be killed permanently because god is a little girl on a bike who doesn't like him very much but that might be a lie and he can just do whatever he wants and she can't stop him because he has domain over the dead and his invisible spy network of friendly ghosts who love to gossip and tell him everything and his distinctly separate clairvoyance that just lets him know everything including future events that haven't happened yet and his struggle with maintaining control when possessed by distinctly unfriendly ghosts trying to kill his family and
#the umbrella academy#klaus hargreeves#five hargreeves#number five#briony babbles#the excuse the show gives of klaus being too busy being avoidant and high to be a threat for thirty years technically works#but like. can he just go crazy. can he please go crazy#if they HAVE to change the comics i think having the person who literally saved the world with one hand being the one to end it in one#timeline or another#would be an interesting subversion#but what do i know#like that's a LOT of power#and they made him traumatised to the point of trying to run from it#does that sound like something that ISN'T going to blow up in all of their faces eventually? i think not#anyway the show has done nothing but disappoint me when it comes to the delivery of klaus' potential from season 1#thank god for fanfiction
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I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:
tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries
He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion. Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave. While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#Poor Zara.#she's gonna feel so fucking guilty about everything that's happened to him in the last 3 years even though it's not her fault.#yes she pissed off Wolf but she had no way of knowing Wolf would go after Rook instead of her.#(I don't even know what she did to piss off Wolf. That's the Big Reveal that's going to happen when Rook sees her again.)#but yeah. Seeing him like this and knowing/thinking that it's because of her actions... it's going to destroy her and that kills me.#I don't know what she did but I *do* know that she never intended for Rook to get hurt. She loves him too much for that.#but Rook could never blame her for anything. He'd forgive her just about anything. And that will probably only make her feel worse.#Rook and his mentors will never ever fail to fuck me up big time.#his undying devotion and naive faith in them which is such a stark contrast to his usual distrust of people.#and it gets him hurt every time even though the don't *mean* to hurt him. But Sigmar's case was definitely much more malicious than Zara's.#this reunion is going to be such a huge turning point for Rook's character and his personal development as a character.#well really it's a combination of things all happening at once that are going to be the turning point.#1) the fact that the party rescued him from Wolf which has literally no other explanation than that they love him and care about him.#2) seeing Zara again and finally getting that closure that he never got three years ago plus being to reestablish the most important#relationship in his entire life. Plus she's just a good influence on him all-around a much-needed source of support after Sigmar's betrayal#3) getting gifted the Tide Breaker (Zara's old ship) and having to learn some responsibility for once in his life will be very good for him#and I guess you could also say that 4) my temporary character Val talking some sense into him has something to do with it lmao.#but we'll see how this all plays out bc while I know these things are going to happen they technically haven't happened yet.#I'm not gonna RP the conversation between Rook and Val bc it would just be me talking to myself for a long time but I am gonna write it up#when we get to that point so I can show it to the DM so he knows what they talked about. Plus it will be a very fun exercise bc Val was#literally designed to be Rook's opposite in just about every way. They're very wise and responsible and Rook is a reckless idiot.#(but I love him anyways.)#So it's gonna be fun to balance writing both of them in the same conversation.#anyways. these tags are SO FUCKING LONG already. If you read this far I'm giving you your favorite dessert and a hug if you want it.#and also pledging you my undying allegiance for life. <3
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I just find it mind-boggling that some people will reblog things like “Anakin didn’t care about Rex and his men, he wouldn’t listen to Fives just because he was friends with Palpatine” and then in the next post be gushing over Rexwalker/Rexanidala like???? so you agree. Anakin does care about Rex?
#some people will literally hate on either Anakin or the Jedi council for reasons that explicitly contradict the point of the prequels#and then YOU'RE either toxically positive or condoning abuse for liking all the characters and having a nuanced view of things#the takes I mentioned in the body of this post literally wiped out the fact that Palpatine groomed and manipulated him for Years just so-#-they could say “wow the clones didn’t deserve what that horrible guy Anakin did to them”#me: okay. so you’re saying they didn’t deserve for him to show kindness and friendship and help reinforce the mindset of individuality they#-already had and that the majority of jedi encouraged because they are a group who treasure individuality and have compassion on everyone &#-all things???#Anakin could be a shit person but he wasn’t to the clones and I will die on this hill#“he enslaved them” you’re pinning that on ANAKIN. a literal former slave. not the Republic or the Kaminoans?#he would have 0 reason to enslave them because he knows what that’s like. he’s been through that#why. WHY do people blame Anakin or the Jedi for 100% of everything going wrong instead of Palpatine.#you can blame Anakin for the choices he made and the Jedi Order for the oversights and legalism they started to have during the war#but enslavement of the clones??? not listening to Fives because of Palpatine???#if you want to blame Anakin for the clones being slaves you have to blame the rest of the Jedi too#and we all know how rare it is for ‘Anakin antis’ to also be ‘Jedi order antis’#quotation because there is a certain connotation and generalisation that comes with those phrases these days#I just don’t understand why Anakin is to blame for that specifically. blame him for being angry and violent and obsessive and turning to th#dark side logic+morals be damned to save one person yes but slavery??? he didn’t know about the chips and if he did you bet your ass he-#-would hate them just as much as the slave monitors on Tatooine#anyway#I want to see both sides of the debate i really do because some people have really good points on character motivations etc#but it’s getting ridiculous at this point. I always try to be a calm and positive space but some of y’all’s takes are contradictory bullshi#Fandom salt#swift talks#Swift rambles in the tags#vent#Jedi positive#meta#ish?#jedi positivity
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Why I Am Not Coming In To Work Today [abridged], Jess Zimmerman
part one | part two
#toronto maple leafs#HELLO EVERYBODY THIS HAS BEEN MONTHS!!! MONTHS IN THE MAKING BECAUSE i AM UNHINGED AND NEEDED THE PRECISE PICTURES THAT I KNEW I WOULD GET#like. seventy five percent of this has been done since the first time i posted this and while it has gotten better with time because#my narratives simply got more complex and there's so much of this that is For Me but don't worry i will explain but aLSO goddamn mitch coul#you have gotten married any later in the year. also willy you truly disappointed me by not getting an absurd haircut this year (now that#i've said this he's going to debut it on instagram like. tomorrow. but anyway that meant y'all got to enjoy my neuroses of#Loving Tyler Bertuzzi who is a goddamn leaf. the joys of having to wait to post this (was not a leaf at the time i started it) and anyway i#have at length i think had the breakdown about tyler in pigtails girl dad & how i got a bob & then tyler copied me which was rude. that's m#gender. ANYWAY starting from the top we got sheldon keefe documentation which was really just the personal decision that i wanted all the#coaching staff to be the markers in the poem/the bold & also at the TIME keefe hadn't re-signed &we thought it might be everybody out w/kyl#anyway the title of the scrap of an old lover's flannel is literally 'u think this is about sheldon & kyle NO it's about timothy liljegren'#bc. liljegren was on the marlies winning cup team & has had a contentious relationship w/keefe ever since & was healthy scratched in playof#& the narrative is sooooo. also at one point for the ryan o'reilly i was going to edit the stlb out of his grandma's shirt or cover it w/th#childhood dreams line but THEN i found the gio snapped stick one which was too perfect for 'crumbling copy' the ryan o'reilly To Me is so.#ur insane in ways u did not think for that one. like. how soft her hands were. his grandma you guys. he grew up a leafs fan. if he ever get#to lift the cup with her again i will lose my shit. the cup run a movie i remember nothing--OKAY the spezz one i knew i needed him stresse#but also i believe in the spezz/kyle narrative so. it comes up later don't worry ALSO SPEZZ FOLLOWING HIM TO PITT CAME AFTER I MADE THIS bu#the muzz tea one makes me a little sensy bc muzz was out with an injury for most of this season & it was a really scary spinal one & so yea#& then the simmer one just straight up makes me cry bc i love him so much & the work that he does for anti-racism in hockey means so much &#if you have that video open & watch it i promise you will cry i do every time it's so beautiful he had to be on comforted by beauty & sammy#boy is on the a man who doesn't know me because EYE remember the caps goalie tandems. baby lilya. the mo one is a little funny bc it is#solely due to wade's thread about mo rielly the coal miner homestead husband. that's why he moves to omaha also i think it suits him (quiet#OK NOW OLD MEN IN LOVE NARRATIVE this one's in contention for my fave bc it's spezz coping w/retirement fundamental meaningless of existenc#u heard abt tyler already that's for me the minchy picture was just too good i had found it earlier & i spent SO LONG looking for an empty#leafs rink picture for bathtub i have some cool construction photos but i wanted the melting ice ones (thought about tahoe lol) & the sprin#one i manip'd a lot bc i needed a spring picture bc playoffs clinch in spring & that one fit so coincidentally perfect bc it's 7 straight#seasons 7 guys so. :) & i KNEW i swore to god they did more milk advertising i knew i was gonna do this one from the minute i saw the poem#the milk patch & it took a hot minute BUT I FOUND THIS ONE this one's for funsies. AND THE PIC I WAITED SO FUCKING LONG FOR this is actuall#from kerf's wedding but i was like i know on god mitch is getting married this summer & that's about to be the drunkest shenanigans wedding#i'm waiting for the pics. & then i was BLESSED with this one which is beautiful & perfect & LOOK AT THEM. anyway the last one is bc
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you're back!! it's been so long!! I missed you <3 <3
ahhhh I missed you too!! Life has been insistent on grinding me to a paste but we perservere
#life has been so so so hard <3#i've never fully recovered from long covid so an average workday was leaving me absolutely drained#and on top of that i had an incident where i was trying to look into a prior auth for a patient#the kid was trans and cried on the phone because he was afraid his insurance wouldn't cover his testosterone now that trump had won#his doctor was at her wit's end because she had been assured on three separate occasions that the authorization was all set#so since it was literally a dead day at work anyway i spent about half an hour playing phone tag with the insurance#trying to find out what their mcfucking issue was#only to eventually be told they wouldn't speak to a representative from the pharmacy about it and that the prescriber had to make the call#so i did let the prescriber know and found a goodrx coupon that made the price like $20#patient was thrilled and very grateful for the effort#(this was like. the day before christmas and his last chance to get his medicine before he had to travel.)#pharmacist however immediately jumped my shit when i hung up for ''wasting time''#despite the fact that there was??? literally no other work to do???#we had three other techs on and i was keeping up with the data entry as things came in while i was on the phone.#tried to defuse the situation by apologizing but she was literally top-of-her-lungs screaming at me#in front of my coworkers and the like 2 customers nearby. so loud that one person could hear her clearly from the bathroom#had worked with this woman for 5+ years and she was the reason i went to this particular pharmacy in the first place#left and texted my boss what happened and told her that this gets fixed or i'm out. had a meeting with the store manager and everything#told them i would have a conversation with her to see if we could move past this. and she refused to speak to me#so i quit and my bestie quit in solidarity and we have been job hunting except that we both also got sick as FUCK the next day#like vomiting shaking massive headache unable to function sick#his fever was like 104.7 at one point? it was ungood#i'm finally about 85% better and back on the job hunt but like. yeah#thought i had something lined up that would free me from the shackles of customer service but unfortunately the guy changed his mind#and the one pharmacy interview i had they wanted to pay me $10/hr 💀 homie that's a $9/hr pay decrease#so yeah life is a prison etc etc BUT not having a full time job anymore DOES mean#that i have the time and energy to tungl again without all the chronic exhaustion#silver linings!!!
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