#anyways lots of shitting people in the dog training world

[ellaa-writes]

Good Dög

authors note: Part 2, part 1 here. In the same Universe as The Beast Within series. Can't wait to expanded the world more. But anyways, enjoy! :) (wow did not notice i reached 200 followers!)

summary: His favourite words include; down boy, good dog, heel, fetch and his most favourite, get 'em. Well trained, and listens good. Loyal through and through. Always striving to be the absolute best. Ready to attack at all times, always on guard. Loves discipline, either giving or receiving. Working for a criminal mastermind, lurking in the shadows. You both trying not to be seen or noticed but after one unlucky night, all you both can see are the ghosts. He invades your life, if you both like it or not.

tags: Alternative Universe. A/b/o dynamics. Female reader. Lots of trauma in this one. Mentions of a dead body. Mentions of weapons, self defense. Reader has a panic attack. Simon saves the day once again. Slightly stalking Simon. not proof read

Two weeks passed since that fateful night at the corner store. Your days were filled with nightmares, and those eyes and that voice were always there to save you. Too pull you back into the light, always waking up with your heart pounding.

The police realeased your belonging back to you, you didn't bother telling anyone. If you did they would just urge you to seek out help, to talk to someone. But you can't afford that right now, you were already overworking yourself trying to save up enough money to move out of this hell hole.

Two weeks and not a word from him, Simon. You laid awake most mornings and nights, wondering what he was doing and if he thought about you to.

You felt silly for thinking that, sure Beta and Alpha relationships were common. Hell your parents were in a Beta/Alpha relationship. But you always felt unworthy, never meeting someone that sparked your interest as much as that Alpha did.

You had a few days off, only because the law required it. But if it was up to your employer you would have been working today.

You decided to get out of your apartment, to go for a walk, to try and not thinking about the cold steel on your throat and that evil smile. Anytime it crept into your mind you would wipe it away. Shove it back down with all the other shit you refused to face.

It was a beautiful day in the city, lucky for you it was a weekend. People littered the streets, groups walking together and chatting. The restaurants had their patios open, only if you had friends you thought. You'd be out there, drinking your fancy drink, eating your fancy food and smiling and laughing. Reminiscing about the good ol' days, but you had none of that. Instead you watched from a far, wishing that one day you'd wake up in a new body, new life.

But that never got you far. You've always been a keep your head down and don't stay for long type of gal. Having been alone in this world for longer than you remember not being.

You lost your mother young, and your dad left all together. Not wanting to raise a child by himself, being a single widowed father. Instead he forgot about you and met someone else. Started a new family, one where you weren't in the picture.

Living in foster care after foster care, until your turned of age and was pushed out into this unforgiving world.

You found yourself staring at the people, laughing and enjoying their time. You were staring for too long, sometimes lost in your own world. Taking your eyes off the people out on the patio, you began casing things out.

Since the accident, you've been on edge more. Keeping a small pocket knife on you at all time, and a can of bear mace. As regular mace wouldn't take down a drugged up Alpha.

As you were looking around you noticed something, or someone. The eyes that haunted your dreams, staring at you from across the street. The same eyes and voice from the corner store.

It couldn't be, you must be imagining it. That feeling of uneasiness creeping up from spine, your brain telling you to run. So you did, you spun around and decided this was a bad idea. Leaving your apartment was stupid. Mentally beating yourself up as you sped walked down the block. Trying to get as much distance between you and those eyes.

They didn't scare you, not intentionally. But you were seeing things, they weren't real. Taking a short cut through the back alley, not wanting to waste anymore time. You were too much in your own head, speeding down the desolate alley, not noticing the fast approaching footsteps behind you.

All you felt was the hands grabbing your arm, and in an instant you were spun around. Your bear mace in hand ready to spray at the intruder. But before you could it was knocked out of your hand. Flying into the brick wall beside you.

And there he was, Simon. It was real, you did see him. "You could kill someone like that." you snapped at him. Picking up your now busted can of bear spray. Hoping you can get another one soon. "Plan on using that on anyone?" he asked. His voice just as husky as the first time you heard it. Your heart skipped a beat, holding in the breath you just took, your core getting tingly.

"Well not anymore." you huffed, shoving the broken can into your bag. "Had anymore run ins?" he asked, noticing the small knife next to the can. "No." you were shuffling on your feet. Not wanting to be here anymore. "Just precaution." you explained.

You hated the way he was looking at you, his head tilted. He was judging you, noticing things about you that even you didn't.

The tenseness in your body, the way you were constantly looking around you, how you held your bag tight to your body. Your quick movements and that look in your eyes. The one he knew so well, the same look he'd have often.

You looked like a lost doe, eyes frantic and legs wobbly. He pitied you, knowing the inner battle raging on inside of you. One that he wish he could take away.

"How have ya been holdn' up?" he asked. Stupid question he thought. He knew from just looking at you, that if a big gust of wind were to come you'd crumble like a dry leaf in autumn.

"I uhhh-" you didn't know what to say. Do you lie to him now? "I'm getting by." you replied. Knowing that didn't fully answer his question.

You were running, not psychically but mentally. Your movements becoming more frantic, your eyes wide with fear, the lost doe cornered and trying to find a way out.

Simon knew this, as he felt it often. He did the only thing he could think of, and he wasn't sure if it was even going to work. He purred, he never purred before. Not even sure if he was doing the damn thing right, but it was pure Alpha instinct. A female in stress can sore the nose, the smell permeating far. Letting everyone know, it was old basic biology, things have evolved since then.

The purr was deep and low, sounding like a bike engine off in the distance. As he slowly stepped closer to you, making sure his shoulder were laxed and his scent enclosing around you like a bubble.

You didn't know what was happening, you felt the tightness in your chest. You began struggling to breath, wanting to dive into the garbage bin and hide. To scream, cry, kick and bite. All these emotions coursing through your body, you hands shaking. Trying to grip onto your arms, hugging yourself tight. Rubbing you neck against your shoulder. Trying anything to make this feeling go away.

Simon wrapped you in his arms, pushing your head into his chest. That's when you finally heard it, the low purring coming from it. It soothed you, making you feel like a pup being cradled by its father.

He held you tight to his chest, enclosing both of you in a bubble of his scent. Blocking out all other noise and smells. His juvenile attempt at consoling you were working, you began sucking in even and deep breaths. The tightness in your chest and back relaxing, you unwrapped your arms from yourself and wrapped them around Simon.

If you were anyone else and this was any other moment he'd he ripping your limbs off. But it was you.

The nights he'd spend wide awake, thinking about you. Everytime he closed his eyes he'd see your dead lifeless body, your dead soulless eyes staring back up at him. He couldn't sleep the first time, he had to make sure you were alright. Sneaking into a vacant apartment across the street, just to make sure she was alright, he told himself.

But it was nightly, then daily. Ignoring his own work to watch night and day. Making sure nothing could or would happen to you. He didn't know what got into himself, why he had these strong feelings towards you. What made you so special.

What made you different from the rest, you haunted him night and night out. And you were alive, so why does he keep seeing your dead body everywhere he turns.

His boss noticed he'd been quiter than normal, which is saying a lot for him. A conversation he had while sitting in his bosses office one night. He use to hate the man, seeing him as enemy number one. Making it his dying mission to take him down, to take him out.

But when shit hit the fan, and Simon was sent to prison. His years of decidated and hard work went down the drain, along with his life. He was a walking reminder, the people he considered close some even close enough to be family, all cut him off. Discarding him like he was yesterday's trash.

The man across from him in the office, sitting on the stiff leather chair. The man that went by König, he was the only one that was their for him. When he was realeased from prison, he was their at the gate. Leaning up against a black sports car. Simon thought he was dead, everyone at least still thinks he is.

He gave Simon an offer, a too good to be true offer. Turning it down, vowing to never cross that line. To go over to the other side. But after finding out that no one gave a shit, that him going to prison didn't change anything. Him taking the fall and paying the price. Just to have them all act like he never existed. So he didn't.

Death by fire, he found it fitting. He felt like his whole existence was flawed, the moment his mother became knocked up with him. A bastard growing in her belly. She left him like the rest did.

But what made you so special, it was a question that he didn't know if he'd ever get an answer to.

For two whole weeks he couldn't shake you. Lying too himself that he wasn't stalking you, that when you were gone for work, that he wasn't breaking into your place. To make sure the windows were sealed and the smoker detector wasn't low on batteries. He even fixed the buzzing from your fridge, something you did notice but chalked it up to old appliances.

If he knew any better he'd say he was infatuated with you.

With you still wrapped in his arms he brought you back to your apartment. Using your key to unlock your door, carrying you into your bedroom. Setting you down and wrapping you up. "I'll be back." he told you. Leaving for only a moment, coming back with a bag of hot food.

It was late in the night when he finally left. You were tucked into bed, everything locked and secured. He didn't like the idea of leaving you alone, but he'd be right cross the street. Having rented out the space after squatting in it for a few days. Paying for two rents wasn't ideal, but in his mind it was only tempory.

You guys talked for hours, you telling him about your past in foster care. How you saved up everything you could to move here and get this place. Only for you to now do the same so you could get out.

You told him about your dream to live out on the country side, to live a small village. To have a farm, yellow house and maybe a few pups running around. But how that dream seemed to slip away faster and faster everyday.

As he settled into postion, on the weathered chair at the window. Watching people flow in and out of the street below. His mind asked the same question it always did when he found himself in this spot. Why you? What was so special about you. But now he also thought about how he wanted to give you, your dream.

The yellow house, the farm to look after and of course the one thing he never would have wanted or thought of wanting....pups.

[honourablejester]

Random half-baked 5e thought, but as the spooky month approaches, I’m reminded that I really, really want to play a Stars Druid for horror. Just. A lot.

It’s just the imagery of stars and omens that permeates the subclass. Starry Form, you become a piece of the night sky, your body a dark canvas on which glowing constellations paint themselves. Omens, weal or woe. Constellations, to dispense healing or radiant judgement. If you like cosmic horror, and I quite like cosmic horror, there’s such a temptation there.

And. There’s a background in Van Richten’s Guide to Ravenloft, called the Haunted One, which is that your entire character history is dominated by a dark event or secret that, well, haunts you. You get a feature, Heart of Darkness, which is just that people looking at you can tell that you have seen some shit and will try to help you out if you haven’t pissed them off, and you also get a ‘Harrowing Event’. Which is that dark event that dogs your footsteps. And one of them is the following:

“You were born under a dark star. You can feel it watching you, coldly and distantly. Sometimes it beckons you in the dead of night.”

And sometimes, if you’re a Stars Druid, it beckons you from within your body. Every time you invoke Starry Form. There’s a constellation on your body, a dragon or a chalice or an archer, but there’s also, every time, somewhere on your skin, in your bones, shining from your flesh, another, darker, more distant star. Maybe you can’t see it yourself, in that form, not always, but you can feel it.

You’re a child of omen. You were born under a dark star. A watching star. And you like to think you could have run from it, but instead you carry it with you. Within your skin. Within your magic.

Was it on purpose? Your birth? The difference between ‘circle’ and ‘cult’ is sometimes rather academic, after all. Or were you an infection, a curse? Were you driven out, a cursed omen to wander the land, and that’s why you’re here now? Or were you taught instead. Trained to embrace it. Perhaps your circle were a circle of ill omen, believers of an apocalyptic destiny. That dark star is distant now, but it won’t always be. And you, you are a harbinger of that fate.

I do like the Star Map as well, on this character. Any of the suggested forms, but in particular the ‘collection of maps bound in an ebony cover’. Your star map is your own creation. Perhaps you’ve been tracking your star’s approach. Maps of the night sky, and maps of your skin. Maybe every time you invoke Starry Form, you ask those around you afterwards where it was. That other star. Where has it moved, and does it mean anything? What happens when that dark star reaches your heart? Or your brow? Does the movement across your skin match the movements across the skies? Or is it a more personal, intimate motion, a signifier of a smaller and more personal apocalypse?

There is a temptation to flavour some of the druid spells to reflect the dark star’s influence, Entangle most easily, but that might be a trap. The druid list doesn’t lend particularly well to that. Maybe keep the horror for starry form, and have your magic be your attempt to ground yourself back down. Ground yourself in the world, in the dirt and the soil and the water, to stave off that darker influence. But maybe it creeps in anyway. Maybe you find yourself favouring spells like Moonbeam and Heat Metal, like Maelstrom and Cone of Cold. Divinations, like Augury, Divination, Scrying. Seeking omens.

Druids don’t, generally, have the spell list for cosmic horror, not like an aberrant sorcerer or a goolock, but just from Starry Form. Just from that. And the divination, omen, weal or woe aspect. Your omen is written in your flesh. And every time, to empower yourself, you invoke it. You pull it closer. Wear it inside your skin. Shine its light out into the world through the vessel of your own form. A harbinger, a walking omen of a distant malice.

A child of omen. A daughter of a dark star. Clinging to earth, to stone, to the magic of this world, but forever bearing witness to something more distant and more alien. And drawing it, by your own actions, ever closer to all that you protect.

Oh, I do, I really do, want to play Stars Druid for horror. So very much. Heh.

[narutosux]

i want to talk about the frank castle, mr The Punisher, of my dreams

the version of the punisher that is canon to me in my heart and idgaf about reality because men wrote him anyway and i dont respect men in general. im also going to talk a tiny bit about daredevil because to me they are literally two sides of the same coin they're literally bbc merlin and arthur and im this woke ass dragon going "two sides of the same coin go freaky on each other"

In my heart of hearts, Frank Castle is an anarcho communist. He is a hardcore anti-establishment commie who believes that revolution cannot come without bloodshed. He respects and cares about the wellbeing of Daredevil, Matt Murdock, and other heroes who have similar goals, because they do want revolution and change, but they don't have the balls to actually kill wholesale like Frank. Frank sees himself as the only one willing to actually get shit done, and he's okay with being an attack dog. He's used to it, because its what the US government used him as when he was a Marine.

The concept he would ever respect the police, a violent force used to oppress lower classes and protect capital, is LAUGHABLE. It's foolish. I ignore iterations of the Punisher who is fine with killing drug addicts because they're "breaking the law", and I believe in versions of Frank Castle that kills CEOs of pharmaceutical companies for pushing opioids as harmless drugs. I think the Punisher of the 80s might focus on street level drug offenses, however I think he would learn that the problem is systemic and tearing the leaves off a tree won't kill it, you have to attack it at the root.

I believe that he would work willingly with Daredevil A LOT... Obviously, Frank Castle is more than capable of doing investigative work on his own, and he's great at planning, however I think that both men recognize their ability to work well as a team and function together. Frank is willing to work with him on jobs where he can admit that killing isn't NEEDED, even if it would do things a whole lot faster.

Frank Castle, without a single doubt in my mind, HATES the US Military Industrial Complex, and the enforcement of violence. He accepts violence because it's all he's ever known. He's a good trained attack dog, and it's where he feels comfortable, but he's both a dog and his own master, and he feels he can only make up for the attrocities he's helped commit by righting the wrongs he's done. He's single-minded, headstrong, focused on his goals of destroying in order for rebuilding a better version of the world. Allowing people to take time to change means they can fuck up and harm others in the meantime. He's not willing to risk that.

Another piece that I did like from the version of him where he was the leader of the Hand, I really liked the idea that Maria was planning to divorce him right before his family was slaughtered. I think it would make him recognize just how little of life he had, and it would make him even more angry at him failing to protect them and failing to be a genuinely good husband. But, he also recognizes that it was never love, it was a role he thought he was supposed to fill. I just don't think he really loved her. Love doesn't look like what he put Maria through.

He knows how to fill roles, but he doesn't know who he actually is. Something quite similar to Matt Murdock, who feels he's the Devil, but also doesn't know who he is when he's Matthew. They're both constantly trying to fill roles in other people's lives, or fill the roles they think that they're supposed to be in, but they don't actually know who they truly are as people.

I think that's so powerful, for these two men who are so full of conviction and so firm in their beliefs but when it comes to thinking about who they are as people, they don't know themselves. But, they know each other. I think they know each other better than they know themselves, but they don't recognize that it's because they see so much of themselves in the other man.

Sorry, but you can't convince me they aren't completely fucking obsessed with each other. Daredevil sometimes wishes he could be the Punisher. He wishes he could just kill the evil he has had to hear for years and years and years and years of his life. But he knows it would never solve anything, it would only make him as bad as the evil around him. The Punisher wishes he could see a world where redemption is possible, he wishes he had that scrap of humanity left in him still. I think when he works with Daredevil he feels himself growing weaker and he has to run away and can't stay with him long, because it makes him recognize that he might not have the resolve to kill. He also fears he might taint Matt Murdock. He might eventually actually convince him to kill. And that scares him. Frank Castle taints everything around him, even his bloodsoaked, mangled children. Even his wife Maria, brought back from the dead, still covered in bullet wounds and beautiful as ever. He drove her to kill.

One day he might ruin Daredevil like that too, and the only saving grace of that moment would be that Daredevil would finally put down the sick dog that is Frank Castle.

[utilitycaster]

The wildest part about people being mad on Imogen's behalf is Imogen herself understood Keyleth's position in spite of her own wishful thinking, helps acquire the blue flowers for her, was the first to acknowledge the Changebringer's help, and the first to say "I'm sorry" to Orym losing more of his people. I'm really baffled to read these "Orym is manipulative" takes and that it was dangerous of Keyleth to validate his anger. Do you think it goes back to the god stuff, or is it just Imodna?

I think a little of column A, little of column B, little of several other things. Since I've been on the "hey could we consider that Imogen and Laudna are adult women who are responsible for their own actions" train for over a year, the specific "Imogen can be mean-spirited as well as unintentionally insensitive" train since at least this past February, and the "Orym is correct and Bor'Dor signed his own death warrant by casting Vitriolic Sphere at a group of people who were not violent towards him" train for a month, let's break it down.

There are a small handful of people in the fandom who just really hate Liam. Per a very salty rant I put into my drafts shortly after 3x63 to describe this type of person, it is a small, scattered, bizarre group of people who for no apparent reason have decided to be foaming-at-the-mouth levels of furious because, as far as I can tell, a nerdy Gen X-er dad who went to Tisch is kind of corny sometimes. Anyway nothing he does will ever sit well with them so we can ignore them forever. Moving on.

Some is Imodna; I thought the whole issue of Imogen and Laudna as agency-less infants against a cruel world would have been ameliorated by them entering a canon relationship (one currently compatible with the 2013 Pinterest board vibes of fanon no less) but it appears to have not been the case. For more on this, see this still relevant post and, while I personally haven't ever written something up, there's just, again, a complete black hole of empathy from a segment of the fandom when it comes to any of the other characters; my post from this morning about Imogen as compared to Caleb touches upon it. You know the Far Side cartoon where a guy is talking to his dog and the dog only recognizes a small handful of words? I feel this is similar, like, they see that Imogen wanted one thing and Orym and Keyleth wanted another thing that wasn't even, as you point out, terribly incompatible, and then the "well if not thing Imogen wants and not 100% deferential to her then BAD BAD BAD" attitude kicked in.

But I do think, in the end, a lot of it does come back to if not the gods exactly, the idea that the Vanguard is, unmistakably, the enemy. They are not the revolution here to usher in a new era of rule by the people. Keyleth is not here to raze Vasselheim to the ground but to have a diplomatic discussion; neither is she here to grant any leniency to the woman who attacked Vax regardless of her connection to Imogen. And she finds the idea of a world without the gods, regardless of her own personal feelings, to be one to be avoided. [sidebar: I hope we get Matt on 4SD; I am wondering, after the one-two-three punch of Hevestro, the Raven Queen, and Keyleth all placing a heavy thumb on the scale opposing the Vanguard if he did not expect the party to be as conflicted about the role of the gods and is trying to wind up an argument that I think as of last episode reached the end of its useful life.] When you couple that with Orym's positive attitude towards the gods, that explains the animosity towards him.

The undermining of Orym's position over the past few episodes has always been one of emotion. First he was not objective - as if anyone else was objective! As if any moral decision is ever 100% objective! We all have biases! What kind of early 2000s atheist forum shit are you on to claim perfect rationality that conveniently matches the ideas that apparently came to you in a godless vision? It's insane. Then it was his grief; grief makes you irrational (unless you're Imogen grieving Laudna, in which case you are objectively right at all times, even as you shout down every other suggestion, beseech Laudna's first murderer, not a month later consider the potential validity of the her second, and try to to undo her immutable past) and remember, moral decisions must be made by the rational. Then it was his impatience (nevermind that Imogen has absolutely no patience). And now it's his anger, and he's apparently been manipulating the party the whole time by...having suggestions for the group which he mentions, and openly stating what he was feeling and what he wanted, and not intuiting that Laudna reawoke Delilah with his approximately no magical ability and then encouraging her to finish a job she had started herself. Because god Rational Objective Conceptual Being forbid women do anything; it is the role of the man to protect their fragile souls from all consequences.

Even more generally I think a lot of people- not just in this fandom, though certainly within this fandom - are terrified of anger. Like, they think they like it - they say they love barbarians (though rage is its own beast and I think very different from the anger Orym and Keyleth exhibit) but most of the discussion of them tends to veer more into angst, and most players of barbarians are often exploring emotions like grief, self-pity (as Ashton says), or frustration just as much if not more so than anger. I think a lot of people perceive anger as this awful thing inside them to be controlled and denied, or alternately to only be let out for whatever they think is a sufficiently righteous cause, and instead sit in an increasingly toxic stew of simmering resentment and conflict avoidance until they begin to think this is not just normal but aspirational - anything but that awful beast they call anger. It's not new in discussions of Keyleth, and it's not limited to her and Orym; I can point to nearly every single character who has had even the slightest of outbursts - even something as mild and controlled as Orym's whispered profanity or less - and I promise you there's been pearl-clutching for every single one of them.

Anyway, you make great points! One of the things that struck me about this episode and prompted my frustration and my post earlier today is that Imogen has changed. I think she's been mulling over Liliana since her appeals to her during the Key's activation were unsuccessful; she hesitantly told Chetney when he asked in Uthodurn that yes, if Liliana's death is necessary, she understands; and I think seeing the utter devastation and pain that was inflicted on Keyleth brought it into focus. She was much more open to FCG and the coin as well. And, you know, if one had embraced Imogen's moral ambiguity in the leadup to the solstice, and the possibility that she could betray the party, instead of shouting that down? Then one could see this as a beautiful moment of growth for Imogen. One could, in fact, if one was so inclined, attribute it to her new sense of ease thanks to her circlet, or even to her nascent romantic relationship. If one, of course, had wholeheartedly embraced Imogen's past moral ambiguity and the possibility of her betrayal.

[snobgoblin]

too tired to draw but I got Danny brainrot so I'm gonna take this ask game and just fill out the ones I want to lmao

💛 How easy is it for your character to laugh?

see you really have to catch him off guard because he tends to be kind of stern and standoffish? he wants to be respected (and is very socially awkward) so he generally won't laugh unless you really throw something unexpected at him- or unless hes very comfortable with you. also he hates puns and will groan when hearing them (glances at Julian)

💛 How does he put himself to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

stimming... often he'll fall asleep watching some weird little moving doohickey. he can't let his thoughts get to him or he'll be up all night. this way he sleeps like a rock. sometimes he sleeps against the window if it's not too cold and watches the fog swoooosh in the moonlight

💛 How easy is it to earn his trust?

depends on your definition of "trust". like he trusts Portia pretty easily because she spilled secrets to him first and he knows he has leverage over her, in a way. but he will NOT let you have any leverage over him unless he has something on you first. part of it is paranoia from living in a world with magical beings- he won't even give his full name to strangers for fear of them having power over him. he doesnt trust easily to say the least

💛 Does he consider laws flexible, or immovable?

pretty flexible. part of him is like "rules i must follow rules i must have defined boundaries" but another part of him is like "all these rules are made up and arbitrary anyway so I should just be guided by what I consider to be right or wrong" so he's conflicted about it I guess. he does pay his taxes though. unlike Asra and Lucio

💛 What was he told to stop/start doing most often as a child

READING PEOPLES MAIL. he's naturally curious so he would go through his father's satchel when he was home and snoop in people's business. he learned how to not leave any evidence he was in them, which he uses for some investigations

💛 Does he swear? Does he remember his first swear word?

he doesnt usually. he may occasionally say "damn it" or "gods" if he's really screwed but he's really not one to swear. he's super tame with it. if he's really done with Lucio's shit in any route he might say "let's kick his ass"

💛 How does he cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

INVESTIGATES. if he's confused he will ask questions. if he can't ask questions without drawing suspicion he will Find Out Another Way whether that be books or going through your belongings, in extreme cases

💛 What color does he think he looks best in? Does he actually look best in that color?

he thinks he looks great in gold and he does but honestly he looks good in any color he's very handsome. my favorites to put him in are deeeeep red and purples

💛 What animal does he fear most?

you would be hard pressed to find an animal he IS afraid of tbh. he happily approaches snakes, wolves, and poorly trained (biting) hunting dogs- he's not afraid of bugs either

💛 How does he speak? Is what he says usually thought of on the spot, or does he rehearse it in his mind first?

he lives in his mind and lot. he thinks more than he speaks and he doesn't always realize it. if it's a planned meeting or something he'll often rehearse or try to prepare but he's not generally *too* anxious about it. just socially awkward. but he doesn't dwell on it too hard usually especially if he's working at a higher goal

💛 Is he easily embarrassed?

yes.

💛 What embarrasses him?

being perceived slash being vulnerable in any way shape or form. if you see him doing anything that can't be seen as cool and mysterious or respectable in some way he thinks he's ruined

💛 What is his favorite number?

15

might revisit this game later but for right now I have satisfied the brain worms

[firstelevens]

39 or 41 (from the first list) for the Taylor Swift prompt fill? Anyhow you like! (If you want)

39. my heroes die all alone

He dreams of Natasha: that sly grin and her warm laugh, her wry quips over comms and her hand on his shoulder after a rough mission. 

She’s standing right in front of him, a glimmer of mischief in her eyes as she holds out her hand. She seems so close, but every time Sam reaches out a hand to take hers, she’s just out of reach.

Wait for me, he wants to say to her. Stay.

But he can’t get the words out and she keeps getting further away, fades even as her arm is reached out towards him, and Sam wakes choking on a sob.

He covers his mouth to stay quiet and slips out of bed, tries not to make a sound until he’s out on the back porch with the door shut behind him. The ache starts in his chest, and it’s like he can’t stop it. Everything around him is a reminder of something she should have been here to see, moments when she should have had her at his side, cheerfully meddling and giving him shit when he was getting in his own way.

It’s just so many hurts layered one atop the other: the pain of losing her and of knowing that she’d lost them first, the knowledge of how many people she’d saved and the conviction that he would give so much just to get her back.

Sam doesn’t realize that he’s shivering until he feels something settle over his shoulders, soft and cozy against his bare arms. Without looking, he reaches behind him and catches Bucky by the wrist, pulling gently to stop him from leaving.

There’s a second of quiet before Bucky changes his grip on Sam’s arm, gently pulling him towards the porch swing. Sam clutches the hoodie a little tighter around him and lets himself be led. Apparently, Bucky doesn’t approve of where he sits, because a second after they sit down, he huffs and mumbles something that Sam doesn’t quite catch, throwing an arm around Sam’s shoulders and pulling him close.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” says Sam, dropping his head onto Bucky’s shoulder. “I thought I was being quiet.”

“You were,” murmurs Bucky, turning to kiss his temple. “Alpine was not.”

“That little snitch,” Sam says, without heat.

Bucky just hums an acknowledgment and keeps holding Sam close, doing a much better job of warming him up than the ratty hoodie is. 

The sounds of the bayou at night are loud all around them, but comforting in their familiarity. Sam’s not sure how long they sit there like that before Bucky speaks.

“Yelena’s a lot like her sister, huh?”

He doesn’t know if it was obvious at training today or if Bucky’s just that good at reading him. Maybe it’s both. Either way, he nods against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Surprised me,” he says, his voice sounding hoarse. “Not the fighting. I knew about that. Just…everything else. Nat never said.”

“I don’t think people know, always,” says Bucky, taking Sam’s free hand in his own. “Maybe it’s easier for the people who loved her to notice it.”

“Maybe,” says Sam.

“I never got to see her, really,” Bucky says. “Not as me, anyway.”

“You missed out. You’d have liked her.”

Another hum. Then: “Tell me about her?”

Sam expects it to be hard, expects his throat to close up around the words like it did in his dreams. Instead, he hears himself say, “She was really bad at drawing, did you know that? We tried to play pictionary one day and she drew a dog that looked like a pickup truck.”

He feels a laugh rumble through Bucky’s chest. “I’m sure you never let her forget it.”

“Of course not,” says Sam, with a quiet laugh of his own. “We were already at a disadvantage playing against Steve, and I’m pretty sure she started drawing worse just to spite me, and…”

Bucky listens patiently as Sam keeps telling story after story, as the horizon lightens and the world wakes up around them. When the sky has gone pink and Sam’s words are starting to get jumbled, he’s shocked to find that although the ache hasn’t gone anywhere, it’s easier to breathe now.

“Thank you,” he mumbles into Bucky’s shoulder, as they shuffle back inside.

He can’t find the words to elaborate, but it doesn’t seem to matter: Bucky squeezes his hand and murmurs, “Anytime, sweetheart,” all the same.

[bunnakit]

I think I remember Hongjoong saying at some point that each member of ateez and halateez have different skills and specialties within the resistance so its not just a carbon copy across the universes sooooooo Buried Treasure question: (if you've thought about it and its not a spoiler or anything,) What are each ateez and halateez member's specialty in your Buried Treasure-verse?

omg a buried treasure ask??? someone is actually reading it??? hang on, one sec while i cry

anyway- i HAVE thought about it! i have so many useless details sequestered away for BT that will probably never see the light of day but it helps me stay in the world. a lot of their skills are based on stuff in the lore and mvs but some are just my own lizard brain. i'll try to break down everyone (fuck this ended up so long holy shit)

THE HONGJOONGS🌸

both Captain and Hongjoong exhibit a plethora of leadership qualities but one has led a group of lost teenagers while the other had led an entire resistance; it just made sense to put Captain in charge of both groups. (the thing is, he'd always had z!Hwa's help. he doesn't anymore.) i think Hongjoong has been able to explore his passion for art more freely and as a result likely has a better eye for detail while Captain's skills lie more in combat and damage control.

THE SEONGHWAS🌸

both were gentle souls but while one was allowed to remain soft and naive the other developed armor that he shed only around those closest to him. a!Seonghwa is a mediator and a counselor, he keeps an eye on everyone and keeps fights to a minimum. he's the one they bring when someone is struggling with their newfound freedom. z!Hwa was very different. almost no one was a better shot than him and he was fiercely protective of his family. people are intimidated by Captain, can't fathom anyone with more of a rebel spirit than him. they never met z!Hwa. he was quite possibly the only one that wanted to fight for their freedom every bit as much, if not more, than Captain.

THE YUNHOS🌸

they're both affable in their own ways; one sweet and reassuring despite his own pain, the other reliable and confident in a way that puts people at ease. a!Yunho is the vehicle guy. they aren't common in Strictland anymore, public transportation allows for better control of the masses, but when they're lucky enough to find one they rely on him to do the driving. (he loves when they can find a motorcyle.) z!Yunho is a bit different, he's good with technology and often works alongside a!Yeosang in developing and fine tuning their machines.

THE YEOSANGS🌸

these two could not be more different. a!Yeosang has all the skills forced on him by his parents and their expectations, however, those skills don't do him any good in Strictland. instead, his most useful skill is his expertise in drones and engineering. he continues to develop technology for the groups, refusing to stop at just the butterfly drones. meanwhile, z!Yeosang is a force of nature. he's quiet, contemplative, and observant. he's their best shot, the one they rely on when things go sideways. he's efficient and quick, but lately he's even more quiet. he barely speaks to anyone and there's a concerning deadness to his eyes no one wants to comment on.

THE SANS🌸

sigh. there isn't a day that goes by that a!San isn't trying to protect someone or sacrifice himself to make their lives "better" and "easier." he's driving both Captain and Hongjoong to an early grave. the problem is, he's good at it, so they let him be their decoy. z!San is similar but gave up his sacrifical tendencies a long time ago - he has someone he has to make sure he comes home to. z!Wooyoung and z!San have been together longer than they've known the other Pirates and where one goes the other follows. even into death. z!San now is your basic muscle, the scary dog when he needs to be, and the general fighter otherwise. he's their best at close combat and trains new resistance members.

THE MINGIS🌸

two more BIG differences. a!Mingi is still raw, distrustful, he doesn't do well with people and there are still some tensions within the A group. he doesn't really know where he belongs but he fills the roles he needs to and people watches when he has time. he learns a lot that way and has become a sort-of informant for the groups. z!Mingi is a little more confident and knows where he belongs and that's as their medic. he wasn't always, he used to be just more muscle, but one day he was tossed into the deep end and it was sink or swim. sinking wasn't an option. z!Jongho got hurt protecting him while they were alone, no idea where the others had ended up. z!Jongho's survival balanced on a knife's edge and z!Mingi was not going to let him fall.

THE WOOYOUNGS🌸

you usually hear a!Wooyoung before you see him. he has limitless energy and a bright demeanor, a charisma that's unrivaled. it makes him good for infiltration, being places he doesn't belong. unfortunately, he's a bit prone to accidents and injury so he tries to stay out of combat as much as he can. he can still feel the ache of the Android Guardian nearly snapping his ankle when they first arrived. z!Wooyoung is a little more subdued, quiet when he needs to be. he's serious when he needs to be and while he tries to hide it he's fiercely protective of his family, even moreso now that z!Hwa is gone. he's good with fire and explosives; if something needs to be destroyed you call z!Woo

THE JONGHOS🌸

these two are very similar, both chasing dreams they don't want to lose. a!Jongho wants to keep everyone together, to keeps this tentative family he's found after scaling a mountain of disappointment. he pairs up with z!San to be the muscle, to keep everyone safe any way he can. he spends most of his free time training, trying to close the gap in combat knowledge as quickly as he can. z!Jongho isn't all that different, he has people he wants to protect too - though there's one person above all others. z!Jongho will do anything to protect z!Mingi, but he can't see that look of panic on his face again, so he steps back from being the muscle (he still fights, they all do, but it's no longer his sole purpose.) he maintains their weapons because the best way he can protect everyone is make sure their shit works properly and won't explode in their faces. weapons are rare and so the ones they have need to last and z!Jongho makes sure they do. (but if someone puts a knife in the pistol locker one more time he's going to blow their kneecap off)

SORRY ITS SO LONG, i never get to talk about the Buried Treasure boys and i love them so so much

[staunchen]

so i was thinking about lan wangji and how he has this reputation of being righteous while also in my opinion acting like an asshole? like he acts very petty and is ready to pull his sword on people a lot and isn't really involved in politics even in a way that makes sense as a high ranking member of a sect? like the silencing spell on jin ling is uh. bad.

it's like lan wangji has scary dog privilege by virtue of his reputation and his brother and uncle who will wreck you if you do or say anything to/about him. except thats not right because theyre not scary dogs at all, they just protect him. it's like lan wangji is a scary dog and lan xichen and lan qiren smooth things over and stop him from doing something too awful and calm others down after lan wangji does something not too great. and i guess with the reputation for being righteous (second jade of lan) is enough to deter people from saying/doing things like "hey he's a dick" because dude that's hanguang-jun, what are you talking about???".

and the people he saves on night hunts or whatever are random civilians who don't interact with him enough to see him behave badly, and a cool and aloof powerful cultivator saving them gets a lot of leeway on account of being a famous powerful cultivator and also being someone who saved them from fierce corpses or spirits or healed their kid or grandparent or whatever. who cares if theyre quiet and kinda rude they saved their sister!!!!!

so when lan wangji is a dick to jin ling or fucks off from political stuff or is ready to pull his sword on jiang cheng in the jiang ancestral hall or whatever he's doing so with the reputation of hanguang-jun who saves people and also is supported by lan xichen (lan sect leader and brother) and lan qiren (former acting sect leader, uncle, teacher) and they are protective and dare i say overindulgent of lan wangji???? like bro you are a political figure whether you like it or not, your actions have effects on things besides your own direct personal circle. like the heir of gusu lan pulling a sword on sect leader jiang is fucking political incident whether or not theyre both being assholes or not. the adult heir of gusu lan using the lan silencing spell on the teenage heir of lanling jin is a political incident. not engaging with other sects politically, ever, says important things about your priorities and your influence both within the sect and without.

also like. what if something happened to gusu lan? like say lan xichen is injured, and lan qiren is also out of commission for some reason? that means lan wangji is acting sect leader. can you IMAGINE lan wangji as sect leader. imagine it. really visualize it. there's a lot of jokes about lan wangji being a petty bitch and people love it but imagine a petty bitch as a sect leader. the situation would blow up faster than lans get drunk on a glass of wine. like dude. so much stuff would be totally fucked.

anyway lan wangji as he is in mdzs would be a shit sect leader/chief cultivator/etc. he doesn't behave like he's intimately involved in the politics of his world (which he is) and may or may not have training in doing so - maybe he has training and just doesn't do it? which is also really bad, then he would know better and still not do it or help in any way.

[spidermanifested]

revisiting the greeds moving castle au post-hmc rewatch here are some new thoughts hmmmmmmm

in my Envisioning. "homunculi" in this world are created when an alchemist (wizard) makes a deal with a demon, gaining the ability to use human souls (hearts) as a power source in exchange for. well. feeding human souls to a demon

for this purpose, souls are gathered from enemy countries via Forever Wars and crystalized into stones which an alchemist can ingest. the military is dedicated to finding the most promising alchemists and grooming them to become homunculi

greed was trained in alchemy by his father from a young age, along with his siblings. their family has immense sway over the royal courts, to the extent that one of his brothers (bradley) wound up marrying into the ruling family. when he came of age his education was handed off to the royal alchemist dante and their relationship did not remain professional very long. he became a homunculus at her encouragement, and then found out he didnt really like the whole "we have to maintain our dominance as alchemists via a lot of murder all the time" thing, and rapidly Howls Moving'd out of that castle

the demon he made a pact with is obviously the dwarf in the flask who im debating making like. okay so what if his father had previously Also made a pact with the same demon.... and then he transferred it to greed.... like ohh he gave up his power and even his life because he ~Saw So Much Potential In His Son~. Except one of the factors leading to greed hitting the bricks is discovering that, no actually, the demon was fully in charge of (the husk of) his father for years, and he just swapped to greed because he wanted a younger swaggier puppet. thatd kind of make a guy rethink his circumstances right

Anyway its pretty similar to calcifer if he leaves his flask he dies, and greed will also die if anything happens to him. greed keeps him very strictly restrained but doesnt tell anybody why he hates this little bongwater bitch so much because hed have to explain hes kind of his dad and itd be awkward

so. we have dante in the role of both suleiman And the witch of the wastes vis a vis being greeds ex, but i think the other part of the witch of the wastes (the "gets more sympathetic as the movie progresses" part) i want to hand to lust, because pulling from her 03 arc she would work very well as someone greed knows whos initially working for the court but gets abandoned and made an example of and then switches sides. also her getting all her power sapped and reverted to her real age would mean Old Lady Lust which would rule

markl is ling (duh) but because i dont think ling would give a shit about a random old guy stumbling into his house, the parts of his character that are initially suspicious of sophie i am going to instead bestow upon. dolcetto, greeds Rescue Dog. aka he was cursed by a witch into the form of a dog and greed was like oh sick a talking dog and dolcetto was too pickupable to escape his fate

martel is also there. talking snake martel. her and dolcetto are there to provide sarcastic banter while bido loses his mind

i initially didnt know how to fit roa in but then i realized i needed a turniphead standin. roa cursed into the form of a cow but he CANT talk and everyone thinks hes just a weird ass magic cow who keeps showing up to help but then the power of friendship turns him human at the end and dolcetto and martel are like okay now how come we cant do that.

i realize ive barely said anything about bido in this post about my au where bido is the main character. but to be fair. i feel like just saying "sophie is bido" gets the entire gist across. humble townsperson with big beautiful brown eyes is transformed against their will into something that makes it impossible to live their life as normal, theyre short with a big nose and wear a long skirt and like to fuck with people now that theyve got nothing to lose, they start working for a weird sexy guy who hates the government wears tight pants and has a shiny black monster form. Is not that complicated

i am now rotating the mental image of lust chuffing back a fat dart on the sofa while immediately outside the window dublith is on fire

[topgunreacts]

omega ice my absolute beloved

please share some thoughts about Him

Hang on he’s in the back room crying again

Okay

Oh no he ran out of the building

Shit he’s in the parking lot

Oh my god he crawled up into a car engine through the undercarriage

You have to be really careful with this shit. Male omegas like to do this especially in winter because it’s warm if the vehicle was used recently. Also because it’s tight and safe in there just like a good bussy.

Anyway I managed to drag him out let’s take a look at this pitiful sack of shit

Nine failed arranged marriages to male alphas the Navy identified as hormonally compatible with him via lab testing

An old maid at age 27

Somehow still full of hope that love exists somewhere, but like not necessarily for himself anymore

Got good at building custom models of things because [spoilers]

Lives in an alternate, post-Marrying the Hangman world where male omega battle prowess is known and relentlessly pursued by the armed forces

Torn between killing Maverick with his bare hands or killing him with a truck or perhaps a horse of some flavor

Surrounded by people that call male omegas stuff like “a person who is omega and male” who still somehow maintain extremely ignorant and offensive beliefs (imagine)

Looks great in a suit. If Maverick even cares

“Maverick told me he doesn’t like men. This will always be true unfortunately, so even though he is starting to act like he’s falling in love with me, he isn’t, actually.” —Iceman, to Maverick’s fucking ugly dog, who secretly agrees because she wants Maverick to herself again

Contributes to the male omega training town by helping tend the community garden

Model student but we didn’t talk about what condition the model is in did we. Maybe it’s falling apart. Maybe

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

I didn’t want a revival of the Naruto obsession but @dark-elf-writes is making me go down the rabbit hole and I’m thinking.

Naruto is one of the series that I have highly specific tastes for fanfics in.

1) Time travel where someone goes back to save the world and then gets roped into raising Naruto and his friends and it’s cute. Bonus if people are dragged kicking and screaming into being friends.

2) Self insert fics where the OC is just either: fuck it I’ll change the world watch me or fuck no I ain’t doing shit but then bang somehow they get involved with a bunch of nonsense. These are fun but I’m specific and I much prefer ones where the main cast gets involved because sure there are some absolutely beautiful fics out there without them but I like Team Seven and the chaos of Konoha. Bonus for these if the OC remains a civilian or something cause it’s amusing.

3) Kakashi gets therapy early or goes: you want me an ANBU specialist to train children? Fine. But they’re going to be monsters. Cause that? Thats beautiful. Never mind Kakashi being lazy give me him deciding to be absolutely the petty asshole we know he is and cause all the problems for EVERYONE by training those three to be feral. That’s fun. I like that.

So like… I dunno but my mind is working and the idea of combining the last two is fun. An OC civilian who was reincarnated decides they ain’t doing shit and ‘sure a lot of people die but good wins so fuck you I ain’t doing shit’ and then just becomes a chef or something. They used to hunt around the countries but retired at a pretty young age cause they always wanted to be a cook (they’re 100% an Akimichi bastard but liked cooking before anyways) and own a restruant. They settle in Konoha because sure: ground fucking zero but they know when to scram right?

And like they have a talking dog cause the idea of this rando with a talking dog and the banter that will happen feeds my soul.

BUT BACK TO THE OTHER STUFF. I like the idea of this rando opening their buisness and being good at it, and then making friends with Kakashi the feral dog he is because they are neighbours. Just, the OC panicking over oh fuck but then it’s ‘WHEN DID YOU LAST EAT MOTHERFUCKER’ and it’s pure CHAOS.

No romance between them, it’s 100% two feral assholes becoming friends and the less feral one domesticating Kakashi while also encouraging the petty and malicious compliance of everything. And then of course Naruto wanders into their lives and that kid needs food to, followed by Gai being Gai and the OC encourages romance between Gai and Kakashi cause why not.

It’s just… I want an OC to get dragged into the nonsense followed by Kakashi being feral and Naruto getting a family followed by Kakashi deciding if he’s going to teach?

He’s going to teach.

No one expects anything.

[bluepunkmon]

Going to awkwardly transcribe the Last Voyage of the Demeter ravings I subjected my friend to. This is on the 0.01% chance I need to retrieve them for any reason.

The movie has A LOT of issues but I do appreciate this scrunkled Dracula.

Ok here we go

Last Voyage of the Demeter has the ELEMENTS to be a perfectly fine B grade schlock horror fest but I feel like its pieces are in the wrong places.

first thing wrong is the lead, Clemens, played by Corey Hawkins

the black guy here

I really really liked him, both his character and the performance

the character is a Cambridge trained doctor who is working on the ship for passage to London to look for a job (having trouble finding non racist employers)

his whole deal is that he likes science and reason and he wants the world to make sense

Only other 2 main characters of note are the ship captain, old guy who wants to retire after this voyage, and his grandson toby, small scamp, has a pet dog, likes livestock animals on board

its unclear why the grandpa has sole custody of Toby, but eh whatever

one of the movie's main mistakes is there's no buildup of tension - almost immediately went eh first sailor is attacked, dracula bites his neck, lots of gore, and every other kill goes about the same

(I realize I can just copy messages timestamp and all and will do so)

[9:37 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: theres no escalation

[9:38 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: another mistake is that Clemen's character trait leads him to all the wrong conclusions - other sailors immediately start talking about some great evil on the ship, he's slower to come around, but the random superstition ends up being right

[9:39 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: later on (spoilers) toby gets chomped and dies. By this point there's like 5 guys left alive on the ship. its been established that some bitten people come back as like, weird grey eyed vampire lackeys. right before they dump toby's body into the water old captain man is like wait I see life! don't do it ! and toby comes back all snarly and then Clemens shoves him into the water.

[9:41 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: right ok SO

[9:41 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: i think the kills and Clemens' role should be altered slightly

[9:42 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: ALSO they shoehorn in a whole character just to exposition dump and explain that dracula's a bloodsucker - would toss that element, I would trust the audience to figure what a vampire is. in this version no one says the word dracula except maybe at the end

[9:42 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: OK SO ANYWAY. NEW STORY

[9:50 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: beginning stays the same, crew signs on, Clemens signs on (he was almost left behind but Cpatain actually took him on bc Clemens saved his grandson's life and he was grateful, I like that part of the movie) and they take on cargo from a weird rich guy in translyvania

[9:57 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: MAIN DIFFERENCE is that on the voyage, pretty early on TOby starts getting sick. Clemens takes him into his care, but despite his efforts poor kid passes away

[9:57 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: everyone is devastated , captain beside himself yada yada

[9:58 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: maybe some crew members bit distrustful of Clemens

[9:58 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: anyway they're about to dump his body at sea when captain says wait I see movement, and everyone thinks its just an old man in mourning, but wait the shroud is moving, and wow Toby's alive !

[9:58 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: his prayers have been answered its a miracle !

[9:59 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: and theres some sailors joking later - about how hey Cambridge standards are pretty low maybe they're sign on and try the whole doctor thing once they hit land - but Clemens isn't laughing

[10:05 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: no matter what anyone says he knows his shit, and he knows the difference between almost dead and dead dead , and that kid was dead he should not being walking around now

[10:06 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: (in the movie the ships cook is big on religion maybe he can throw out some lazarus verses or something)

[10:06 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: point is Clemens uses his love of logic and science to go towards the supernatural here, rather than denying it

[10:06 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: he observes Toby and notices that the kid is def different - the ships dog keeps growling at him, and the livestock animals he cares for seem to freak out whenever he's around

[10:07 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: later on they find that all the chickens and goats have been murdered (this happened in the movie too) and like, idk they blame it on ship dog, even though clemens examines the bodies and finds that they don't look like dog maulings

[10:08 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: Toby gets paler and weirder. eventually ship captain says that he's still sick, so he stays in his quarters from now on. Clemens offers to examine the boy but the Captain straight up refuses

[10:08 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: other crew members start getting ill, paler and sickly. Clemens tries to treat them, but their ailments continue. he doesn't recognize the disease, but finds that many have strange marks on their necks, almost like a bite

[10:11 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: THEN at this point things escalate. first crew member vanishes. no blood on deck or anything he's just gone

[10:11 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: people are on edge, assume that he fell overboard, keep working

[10:12 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: few sailors are so sick theyve collapsed, Clemens is suspecting something is like, SUPER wrong.

[10:12 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: if he has a Watson esque sidekick (maybe picked young sailor to be his assistant) he has to tell him "look if captain hears me he might throw me overboard but I'm like 80% sure he fed a crew member to his grandson"

[10:13 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: and it sounds insane, but i want him to use his science and logic schtick to lead him to the source of the disaster befalling the ship

[10:13 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: how does dracula factor in? honestly idk - maybe he turned toby into a vamp for kicks after the kid was sneaking into the cargo hold to mess around

[10:13 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: anyway thats it thats my pitch, thank you for coming to me TED talk

[10:26 AM, 10/19/2024] Owl: i almost sent a text yeasterday saying a new horror game, mouthwashing, wasn't that scary ( watched whole lets play yesterday) but the game was enough to give me a night of very anxious dreams so I retract my retracted statement

[we-survive-endlessly]

Word vomit about my poor mental state below, feel free to ignore 😬👍

I have literally been so stressed lately that my skin picking is out of control and I’m having heart palpitations. Dealing with grief, my dog being sick again, work stress, life stress, stress and sadness about the state of the world, like my body just can’t take it.

There’s so much I could say about my job. I recently went to my supervisor about the fact that my coworker who I share an office with sleeps all day. Which was really scary and hard for me, but it’s damaging my uncle’s company and the stores she is supposed to be paying the bills for are super behind because of it. Like getting three to four vendors a DAY reaching out about past due bills. Anywho my supervisor said she would take care of it but now our hr person is leaving which will dump a lot more work on everyone and I doubt anything is going to change. They’re also training me on payroll with the expectation that I’ll be able to do it by myself when the person that trains me goes out of town in like a month. Meaning that NO ONE that will be there will know how to do it or help me if weird situations come up. So now I’m stressing about that.

I was just given a promotion that came with a $4 raise which is amazing. Like I’m now making $6 more than when I started and I haven’t even been there a year which should really excite me but all I can think about is the fact that I still don’t make enough to live on my own and that the average salary needed to live comfortably alone in California is $80,000 a year which I am nowhere near. I’m almost 28, and I still live at home with no expectations of being able to move out anytime soon. Every Sunday night I want to cry because I can’t believe the weekend is over and I have to go to work again tomorrow and I’m going to have to do this probably for the rest of my life because retirement seems like a pipe dream if we even have a society or liveable world when I get to that age anyways.

I see what is going on in the world both in other countries and with people I care about here and I cry every day because while I do what I can to help it never feels like enough and I have to listen to family members with just the most awful thoughts and opinions. We live in a world where the people in charge don’t give a fuck about anyone or anything so long as they get paid and I’m TIRED.

My future, the future in general, feels hopeless. Utterly and completely hopeless. And yet here I am. I’ll go to bed early tonight to try to calm the panic in my chest and escape into my dreamland, even though going to bed early just makes tomorrow feel like it comes even faster, and I’ll go to work. Just like I do every weekday. I’ll pretend like everything is fine. Like my coworker sleeping all day doesn’t infuriate me to the point of feeling physically ill. I’ll come home and take care of my dog and then instead of cleaning or exercising or doing any of my hobbies or anything else that I want to do, I’ll just scroll my phone because I’m too tired to do anything else. Maybe I’ll eat dinner, maybe I’ll just go to bed because I’m too nauseous to eat. And I’ll repeat. For the rest of my life because this shit is never ending.

Anyways, if any of you read this, I’m sorry it’s so negative and depressing. I’ve really been trying to tell myself the things that I would tell a friend who felt this way but it’s just not working. I’m just in a really awful hopeless place and I’m sorry.

[always-music0]

Run Rabbit Run.

Hannah would considers herself the unluckiest girl in the world,having being born into a tangled web of murderers and monsters that live in your closet and under your bed. Until one day an unforeseen issue makes its way into her already fucked life and now if she thought her life sucked it’s about to get a whole lot worse.

Pt.1

A Creepypasta/Twilight crossover 18+

There went many things that made me scared-

— I mean when you grow up with the people I grew up with you get used to the ice cold feeling in your veins when you cut it a little too close to the edge and death himself is only a few inches away waiting to free your soul from this purgatory plane we call earth. But when your friends are friends with the spirit of the dead the sweet relief of becoming stardust fades into the background, and when god turns his back on your soul just because of the people you associate with you kinda don’t even consider heaven an option anymore.

Now you may be asking yourself ‘how in the hell could someone be so unlucky?’ And I should be honest and admit that it’s sorta my fault and I happen to find myself in the wrong place in the wrong time frequently.

Take last week for example jumping from state to state and school to school with the three looneys I call my ‘caretakers’ even though for the most part I take care of them and I just happened to run into a certain organ eating demon on my way home from grocery shopping it took quite a lot of convincing to keep him from taking me with him and making the looneys fucking loose their shit, even though that would be pretty funny for the first ten minutes, but would ultimately get my ass beat but I also had to cough up the fresh liver I had gotten for the dog.

He was not impressed when I came home without a treat for him to sink his teeth in. Anyways my current situation was even worse cause the three fucking losers I lived with didn’t even believe me when I said the school I would be attending for then next ten months was crawling with vampires.

“Look Tim! You have to believe me!” I wined as I followed him outside the dog at me heels.

The house we were living in was pretty secluded besides a few houses a few acres away Tim scoffed and threw his bag into the back of his old ford f-150.

The old thing was partially rusted out and everything had been replaced maybe more that it should have but like Tim it never seemed to die even with the absurd amount of times they both have been thrown off cliffs .

“Listen here, I don’t give a fuck if they were goddamn transformers. We have a fuck ton of work to do around here and not a lot of time to do it. So your gonna take your perky little ass to that school everyday and stay out of our way and stay safe” he snapped

I flinched a little, I could tell he was getting a little annoyed or stressed one of the two

“ ok so you do believe there’s vampires?” I asked and when his eye twitched I smirked

“NO! There’s no creature like the vampires I know around here and if there were the boss would have already let us know!” He yelled walking over to Brian’s 1976 Bronco and thew the back door open. I trotted after him the dog followed me silently

“Well what if they aren’t like the vampires we know?!” I asked and he groaned took a deep breath and pulled out his cigarettes Putting one in his mouth he turned his head towards me.

I immediately fumbled for my lighter almost dropping it twice, if there was one thing Tim and his counter part loved was a well trained bitc- ahem. Lighting his cigarette he inhaled.

“Look” he started blowing out the smoke he just inhaled.

“If there is for some reason vampires at your school they must be harmless otherwise big man wouldn’t have you here” he tilted his head at me as though to say ‘ya even think about that’ I blinked. of course I thought about that, I would have been shipped off to stay with someone else entirely if that were the case.

“Yeah I guess…” I said slowly looking at the dog, his eyes met mine and his tongue rolled out as he started to pant, this Washington mugginess was getting to him.

“Look at me sweetheart.” Tim said and my eyes lifted from the dog to his.

“ we wouldn’t let anyone or anything hurt you, not only is that our job it would kill us if you were hurt by something we didn’t know about” he said stepping towards me and eventually standing right in front of me. I could smell the cologne I had got him for Christmas and the cigarette smoke the reason I got him cologne. I met his eyes and they flashed darker as he switched and I tried not to wince as his hand shot up and griped my chin and squeezed my cheeks not tight enough to be painful but just to keep eye contact.

“Got it princess?” Masky said I nodded the best I could he grinned as Tim took back control patting my cheek

“Good girl” he said and turned back to the bronco reaching for another bag.

“Now be a good little thing and go bother someone else I have to fix the breaks on the ford and I definitely don’t want your annoying ass around when I do it” he commanded and I sighed flipping him off

“Go fuck yourself Tim” and walked away as he laughed at me The dog at me heels.

I suppose it could be worse, I mean the three fucking weirdos did a good job of keeping me safe although I wouldn’t admit that to their faces. What’s the worst that could happen?

A/N: Thanks for reading if you did! I know it’s littered with grammatical errors and run on sentences and it’s definitely not formatting correctly but I think meh who’s gonna see it anyways so why the hell not. But if you do read all of this thank you! Your wonderful and I will continue to post more parts as I write them<3

[crehador]

brother crab's winter 2024 parting thoughts: dog signal

alright well yysy it's not much to look at, the animation/art style isn't exactly "modern" or exceptional (though personally i was quite charmed by it)

that aside, this was overall a really pleasant surprise to me!

tl;dr: fun cast with some surprisingly compelling and deep(ish) backstories, would recommend but with the disclaimers that a) it's episodic and b) there's quite a lot of animal mistreatment since each episode is about helping a dog whose person isn't treating it right (most if not all the cases have hopeful endings, but some parts may be hard to watch)

also niwa and samura have the most HILARIOUSLY classic toxic yaoi situationship without any of the fun parts (the actual yaoi), more on that later lmao

full review:

the series is for the most part episodic, with each episode dealing with a dog owner who comes to a certain dog trainer for help. i'm a fan of a good episodic series, even when the episodes can be hit or miss, so the structure was very enjoyable for me

the stories of the main cast were surprisingly compelling, too. it seemed like it would be just a very silly show—what with it starting with a guy (cv knb murasakibara) walking another guy (cv knb kuroko) around on a leash in public for two hours—but the character backstories that were revealed throughout the series did actually feel delightfully nuanced to me

(for example "yeah that old man did hit a dog and that's not great but the dog in question was biting the shit out of the kid he sees as a son so it's not... not understandable that he would react that way and while i'm not saying he should be proud of hitting a dog i guess i am saying it does suck for him that son guy hated him and went no contact for years for it")

one of my favorite episodes, ironically, barely involved the main cast at all. most of the episodes deal with this dog training business training dogs (shock!) but in this one episode, fairly late in the series, the owner was a struggling mangaka suffering from immense social anxiety, whose only friend was his dog who one day suddenly loses his hearing

that's such a tough thing that you really wouldn't explain anyone to know how to handle on their own without training. the mangaka even runs into the mc (trainee dog trainer) early in the episode and receives a business card for the dog training shop, but instead of taking his dog in, he does his best on his own to develop ways to communicate with his newly deaf dog

and it works! not only does he find a way to keep his dog comfortable with him, his efforts make him less concerned with what other people think of him as well. he managed to go to the dog training shop in the end, to see if there's anything he could be doing better for his dog, only to be told that they can't do anything for him—because he's already done everything right

(in establishing a way to communicate with his deaf dog, that is. there are other issues he gets chewed out for, which i really liked and found realistic)

i feel like it was just such a well-timed episode as a narrative device, because it shows that while the main dog trainer is great (the trainee dog trainer mc practically worships him) it's not that everyone in the world is helpless without him

but anyway

REGARDING THE SITUATIONSHIP WHAT THE FUCK LMAO first of all i love it

samura has just been dumped by an extremely shitty girlfriend when he meets niwa, while out walking the dog (or attempting to walk the dog) said shitty girlfriend dumped on him

he's doing a terrifically bad job, to the point where niwa (pro dog trainer) can't bear to watch. so what does he do well of course he has to reeducate samura by... putting him on a leash and walking him around the park, in public, for two hours. to show him just how wrong he's treating his dog

samura somehow gets a job out of this and they start working together. at one point he reveals he is GOING TO THE SALON and GETTING HIS HAIR PERMED so that it is curly because niwa has a poodle and seems to like curly hair (???)

jump cut to the final episode and we're finding out samura's tragic lore—parentified by a narcissistic mom, down with too much filial piety disease. when samura finally decides he's no longer sending money back home, his mom comes to the dog training shop to be like "sir uwu you have to give my son a raise so he can keep sending money home uwu he's such a good hard-working boy please pay him what he's worth"

and niwa is straight up like "actually he sucks and you suck get the fuck out of my shop" AND THEN LATER IN THE EPISODE samura's mom calls him (has been calling him repeatedly since meeting his freak of a boss) and NIWA ANSWERS THE PHONE and while she's complaining about the money situation and the freak boss (niwa) he basically tells her "you still suck and your son still sucks but i'm keeping him, fuck off"

like my god?? that woman is going to go away thinking her son has gotten into an extremely abusive relationship with his boss. i mean fuck her entirely, she does suck, but that is very much Not the situation (even though it does Very Much appear to be the situation)

anyway. ultimately this one lands in the :) category for me, originally picked it up for the cast (kuroko and mukkun and also KENN) and didn't have very high expectations but am thrilled to be pleasantly surprised

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Great Hunt! Chapter 40: Damane

Look dear reader, if you don't know what you're getting into this chapter, you really shouldn't keep reading. You shouldn't do it anyway unless you like spoilers for the whole series, but this chapter is better to avoid anyway than most. It's a lot. Don't keep going.

Behold the a'dam icon! Simple, geometrically pleasing, and utterly filled with menace. It's perfect and it's evil.

When she did notice them she stared uncertainly; they were as odd a group as she had ever seen, and she had heard too many rumors of the war on Toman Head.

One of the problems of being trusting of authority figures is that when they're leading you astray you become unable to properly respond to dangerous situations. Liandrin's actions here are probably why Egwene ends up so power hungry later on; she can't let herself be subordinate to someone who might abuse her again.

Oddest of all was the last woman, reclining on a palanquin borne by eight muscular, bare-chested men in baggy black trousers. The sides of her scalp were shaved so that only a wide crest of black hair remained to fall down her back. A long, cream-colored robe worked in flowers and birds on blue ovals was carefully arranged to show her skirts of pleated white, and her fingernails were a good inch long, the first two on each hand lacquered blue.

Meet Suroth. She's fucking evil and has a terrible fashion sense.

“What are you talking about?” Nynaeve demanded. “What is she talking about, Liandrin?” Liandrin laid a hand on Nynaeve’s shoulder and one on Egwene’s.

1. Note that Nynaeve again omits the title "Sedai".

2. Note that Liandrin doesn't even acknowledge these girls as people any more than the Seanchan do.

“Liandrin Sedai,” she said urgently, “who are these people? Are they here to help Rand and the others, too?”

Poor, sweet Egwene. It's rather sad that the EF5 member most eager to see the world is the one who is by far the most naive.

Balling her fist tightly, Egwene hit the woman as hard as she could, right in her eye—and staggered and fell to her knees herself, head ringing. It felt as if a large man had struck her in the face.

The forced linking aspect of the a'dam is already an incredible achievement by Deain Sedai, but really that's at least something the One Power is meant to connect. Carrying pain like that means that Deain came very close to creating the Warder Bond too (in some ways more so), something no one in Seanchan would know (the Hawkwing descendants wouldn't have carried that knowledge over) so she was possibly the greatest Aes Sedai in the world at the time. What a waste.

“I will not punish you further this time, since I should have been on guard with a newly caught damane. Know this. You are a damane, a Leashed One, and I am a sul’dam, a Holder of the Leash. When damane and sul’dam are joined, whatever hurt the sul’dam feels, the damane feels twice over. Even to death.

It's nice that the Seanchan Empire does instill this sense of responsibility in superiors regarding their inferiors, but also JESUS FUCKING AL'THOR EVEN TO DEATH???? Fuck them Seanchan.

“The very first thing you must learn,” Renna said, “is to do exactly as you are told, and without delay.”

You'll note I didn't give Seanchan points for their opinions of how superiors should take responsibility when they fuck up and that's because of shit like this.

That, she realized, was what she had detected in the woman’s voice—a certain good will for a dog in training, not quite the friendliness one might have toward another human being.

This is one of the many reasons there's no such thing as a good slave owner, by the way. Especially not when it comes to chattel slavery.

She wanted to go to Min, but the amount of leash Renna had let out would not reach that far. She called softly, “Min, are you all right?”

The haters never mention how Egwene is more worried about Min than herself in this situation, even though Egwene's situation is way, way, way worse.

“I brought you three,” Liandrin said calmly. “If you cannot manage to hold them, perhaps our master should find another among you to serve him. You take fright at trifles. If patrols come, kill them.”

Oh yeah, and here's another problem with the sheer vertical cliff that is the Seanchan hierarchy: in any sane society, the lessers would be able to report Suroth as a Darkfriend and Aes Sedai sympathizer and something would happen, but they don't and I don't think it's because they don't care.

“Elayne is of no importance, but both the woman and this girl here must be taken with you on your ships when you sail.”

How utterly wrong the Dark is. They clearly weren't expecting anyone other than the DR to be relevant last book and were frustrated with the three for one trick, and now they've added the girls to the roster but not all of them. They're utterly oblivious to how much of a team effort things are.

Should you survive the encounter, the leash and collar will teach you a new life, and I do not believe our master will trouble to deliver one foolish enough to let herself be taken.

Suroth's got that much right, but of course is much too short-sighted and self-interested to think things through.

She had to save Min. If it means groveling. . . . She parted her lips and hoped her gritted teeth would pass for a smile. “Yes, High Lady.” “And if I spare her, if I allow her to visit you occasionally, you will work hard and learn as you are taught?” “I will, High Lady.” She would have promised much more to keep that sword from splitting Min’s skull. I’ll even keep it, she thought sourly, as long as I have to.

This exchange (and everything a'dam related, obviously) is another thing that clearly leads from Egwene being a dedicated teacher's pet, mostly follow the rules type to the ambitious semi-fiend we'll know later on. She's glad to help Min but she's subconsciously being taught that authority only exists to be subverted to your own ends.

“You were honored,” Renna said after a time, “having the High Lady speak to you. Another time, I would let you wear a ribbon to mark the honor. But since you brought her attention on yourself. . . .”

And this is why Suroth can proudly conspire as a Darkfriend in front of Renna even though Renna isn't a Darkfriend, why she can let an Aes Sedai run free around a sul'dam. This absurd standard that applies to Egwene applies to Renna too and everyone else. Never draw the attention of your betters, even if it's for their own good.

Min raised a fist, then let it fall. “I won’t interfere. Only, please, stop it. Egwene, I’m sorry.” The unseen blows went on for a few moments more, as if to show Min her intervention had done nothing, then ceased, but Egwene could not stop shuddering.

This is a reason why it's so upsetting to see Min shanghaied by the Seanchan in the Last Battle, because she knows them at their worst. She's gonna have to do a lot of truth speaking to Tuon, even when Tuon fucking hates it, if she's going to make much difference overseas.

“Liandrin”—Egwene would not give her the honorific, not ever again—“and the High Lady spoke of a master they both serve.” The thought came into her head of a man with almost healed burns marring his face, and eyes and mouth that sometimes turned to fire, but even if he was only a figure in her dreams that seemed too horrible to contemplate.

No Egwene, you've basically got it exactly correct.

She knew it was silly to avoid naming Nynaeve—she did not think any of these people would forget her just because her name was not mentioned, especially the blue-eyed sul’dam stroking her empty leash—but it was the only way she could think of fighting back at the moment.

Rand and Egwene have very parallel arcs, and this seems to be her inverted equivalent of an earlier moment of his: he shouted the Aiel oath of defiance involuntarily against nothing in particular, drawn into power. She's being pulled against her will too, but her defiance is both very real and yet tragically more inconsequential than the oath he swore.

One such, a woman named Deain, who thought she could do better serving the Emperor—he was not Emperor then, of course—since he had no Aes Sedai in his armies, came to him with a device she had made, the first a’dam, fastened to the neck of one of her sisters. Though that woman did not want to serve Luthair, the a’dam required her to serve. Deain made more a’dam, the first sul’dam were found, and women captured who called themselves Aes Sedai discovered that they were in fact only marath’damane, Those Who Must Be Leashed. It is said that when she herself was leashed, Deain’s screams shook the Towers of Midnight, but of course she, too, was a marath’damane, and marath’damane cannot be allowed to run free.

Firstly: the first sul'dam were found after the first a'dam was made and the first collar attached. This very infodump all but gives away the twist! Deain herself must have been wearing the bracelet then.

Secondly: How much like the Shadow the Empire is, that it was strengthened so hideously by a woman who thought that she might benefit herself from service, and that her only reward was suffering from her actions.

“From time to time the Empress plays with lords by linking them to a damane. It makes the lords sweat and entertains the Court of the Nine Moons. The lord never knows until it is done whether he will live or die, and neither does the damane.”

These dudes are mostly the male equivalent of sul'dam and so their deaths (let alone the deaths of the damane, who don't deserve anything that happens to them) aren't even productive for removing male channelers who have the spark from threatening the populace. It's just murder for fun.

Egwene was shocked to discover an urge to do as Renna commanded. She had not channeled, or even touched saidar, in two days; the desire to fill herself with the One Power made her shiver.

Here's the closest thing to a downside that power addiction has for Egwene.

Frantically she reached for saidar, meaning to hurt Renna enough to make her stop, just the kind of hurt she herself had been given. The sul’dam shook her head wryly; Egwene howled as her own skin was suddenly scalded. Not until she fled from saidar completely did the burn begin to fade, and the unseen blows never ceased or slowed.

If I have to read such horrible things, you do too.

“It is good that you have spirit,” Renna said calmly. “The best damane are those who have spirit to be shaped and molded.”

The best damane are those who have to be beaten a hundred times as much as any other just to be good? This empire really does run on BDSM.

Her contact with saidar was gone, and she could not bring it back. In that first fury of knowing that Liandrin had betrayed them, saidar had been there almost before she knew it, the One Power flooding her. It had seemed she could do anything.

The circumstances they're in probably made Nynaeve's power level grow two sizes just from the sheer terror. Plus all the training at the Tower probably kicked in a bit too.

I don’t think they got away, Nynaeve. I should have done something. Min cut the hand that was holding me, and Egwene. . . . I just ran, Nynaeve. I realized I was free, and I ran. Mother had better marry Gareth Bryne and have another daughter as soon as she can. I am not fit to take the throne.

Survivor's guilt is a terrible thing, and Jordan likely heard or even experienced stories of people abandoning each other in the chaos of Vietnam. He's also quite right (through Nynaeve's words) that Elayne is a silly goose for hating herself for breaking under the pressure.

Why are they interested in Egwene and me? Why us in particular? Why did Liandrin do this? Why?

I'm a bit surprised Nynaeve doesn't remember that Liandrin knows they're connected to Rand, but I suppose her source of knowledge about Rand's relative specialness being Moiraine means she's inclined to just toss it aside and ignore it.

I have no intention of buying us dresses, and they won’t be new in any case. My gray silk dress will do us some good, with all those pearls and that gold thread. If I can’t find a woman who will trade us each two or three sturdy changes for that, I will give you this ring, and I will be the novice.

Really the difficulty might be finding a woman in these parts who feels like she can keep a silk dress with pearls and gold in any state of repair. Eventually finery gets so rich that poverty would ruin it on contact. But Nynaeve keeps her accepted ring so I guess things work out!

To speak no word that is not true. That was one, but everyone knew that the truth an Aes Sedai said might not be the truth you thought you heard.

Like I said last chapter, Nynaeve really should have been a lot more suspicious. I suppose she cares of Rand too much to stand by while he's under any kind of threat, even if it's a very tenuous one.

Speaking of, next time: Rand vs. Ba'alzamon again!