#anyways long rant over i went on this same one last night with a person in the exact same boat as me

[vicsuragi]

i haven't been here long but wow the disco elysium fandom is so much less fucking exhausting than the ofmd fandom. people aren't pitted against each other and writing back and forth essays about one fucking character and in constant fucking conflict with each other over ONE FICTIONAL GUY. people aren't sending rape and death threats to one group and then going and saying that group is sending those threats to themselves for sympathy!!! the fandom hasn't turned into utter wank it's amazing!!! i forgot that fandoms could just be chill and not get to the point where you have to block like 100+ bloggers because they are violently wrong and will call you a racist, sexist, abuse apologist, etc, because you like a wet pathetic little villain dude. we're all just making fun of harry for losing every poll he qualifies for and screaming over this game, like a normal fucking fandom. this is like a fucking vacation and i'm probably not going to go home.

[shaunamilfman]

illicit affairs

Summary: "You weren't sure how Jackie Taylor and Shauna Shipman had both decided to cheat on each other with you, but you certainly weren't complaining. Though, the guilt was starting to eat you alive."

A/N: Jackieshauna x reader if it wasn't clear. ended up being pretty long. enjoy!

You cough loudly as you pass the bottle to Nat. "Where the fuck did you guys get this from? Tastes like I'm drinking fucking acetone." You manage to say through wheezes. Nat shrugs as she looks over at Kevyn. 

"I gave the guy 10 bucks, this is what he got us." He says as he holds his hands out placatingly. You groan as you lean back against the tree and close your eyes. 

"You're the one who wanted to pregame the party anyways, Y/N." Nat says amusedly, grinning crookedly at you. You open your eyes and give her a mostly feigned glare. 

"I didn't say I wanted to pregame it," You say. "I just said that the last thing I wanted to do on a Friday night is deal with some of those girls sober." Nat laughs as she hands the bottle back to you. You take another long drink. 

"Same thing, isn't it?" She asks. You grin back at her. 

When you can hear the faint sounds of the party in the distance the three of you unsteadily set off towards it. You lean heavily against Nat, a little drunker than you planned on getting this early in the night. She leans back against you without complaint but shoots you a concerned look when you reach the party after Kevyn walks further off. 

"What?" You ask. 

"Drink some water, maybe?" She says. You laugh and shake your head. 

"I'm not that drunk, Natty." You tease, making her roll her eyes good naturedly. "It's all good, don't worry."

She hums in acknowledgement. "If you say so." She says. You guys talk aimlessly for a long while before you notice Jackie making her way over to you. 

You elbow Nat in her side mid-rant. "Captain incoming." You mutter. She looks over at Jackie and lazily throws her hand up in a mocking salute. Jackie rolls her eyes but doesn't acknowledge it beyond that. 

"Hey," Jackie says softly, choosing to completely ignore Nat. Nat scoffs but abandons you to your fate as she walks off to find Kevyn. 

"Hey," You say, trying hard to seem more sober than you are. The last thing you need right now is a Jackie Taylor lecture. Now that you've graduated she may not technically hold any authority over you, but old fear dies hard. 

"I haven't seen you drink anything at the party," She says. You shake your head no. At least that's working in your favor. Besides, you didn't drink anything at the party. It's technically not even lying. 

"Good," She says simply. "I wanted to talk to you about something, but I didn't want you to be drunk for it." You smile wryly. That's you, definitely not drunk Y/N. You wonder what she wants to talk to you about, but it gets a little blurry after that. 

… 

It was not 'all good': Apparently you're more of a lightweight than you thought. You wake up the next morning with no memory of the night before, but by the extra body in your bed you knew it must have been fucking awesome. 

"Hey," You hear a voice say softly. You roll over to see who you went home with when you're paralyzed by shock. That's Jackie Taylor. You're in Jackie Taylor's house in Jackie Taylor's bed with the unmistakable sound of Shauna Shipman's voice coming from Jackie Taylor's kitchen. 

Fuck. You think deliriously. 

"Hey." You mutter blearily, rubbing at your eyes. You can totally play it cool, even if you're dying inside. She grins at you and leans forward to press a gentle kiss against your lips before getting out of bed. 

"I'm gonna go meet Shauna but you can totally take a shower or whatever if you want. She knew you were sleeping over so she brought you breakfast too." She says happily, bouncing a bit on the balls of her feet. You nod and eye her wearily as she leaves. Now that's just cold. You think.

You take a long hot shower hoping the steam will make you feel like a better person. This feeling is only exacerbated when Jackie knocks on the door to let you know that she left you some clothes lying out to change into, as judging by the flannel it's definitely Shauna's. 

You stand in the doorway of the kitchen and watch Jackie sitting sideways across Shauna's lap as they whisper and giggle to each other. You clear your throat quietly and they both turn to face you as you hesitantly walk into the kitchen. 

Jackie stands up and excitedly pulls the chair out across from Shauna. As she walks over to the fridge, you and Shauna make awkward eye contact. At least, it was awkward on your part. Shauna seems to be eyeing you with a surprising amount of hunger. Her gaze lingering on the way her flannel has partially slid down your shoulder. You laugh nervously and look around for Jackie. 

You finally manage to choke down your breakfast and nearly manage to excuse yourself out the door when Jackie stops you with a gentle hand on your arm. "We're still good about last night, aren't we?" She asks softly, looking a little lost. "You're not having second thoughts?"

You shake your head, quick to reassure her. The things you would do to keep this woman from looking sad. You're starting to reach a much deeper understanding with Shauna.  She grins widely at you and you smile back reflexively. "See you soon then? I'll text you later." She promises. 

You eye her curiously. "You have my number?" You ask. 

"I still have everyone's number." She says. "Captain privileges."

"Seems like you're abusing your old privileges, Captain." You tease. She worries her lip between her teeth and is about to respond when Shauna slips past her out the door.

"All ready to drive you home, Y/N." She interrupts. You can't hide the surprised look on your face. 

"It's alright Shauna, I only live two streets over." You say. 

She shakes her head. "It's fine." She says, "I promised my mom I'd pick her up something from the store anyways." You nod slowly and wave at Jackie as you slip in the passenger seat. You watch the two of them kiss goodbye and try not to squirm guiltily. 

After a two minute drive in complete silence you point to your driveway. She pulls in next to your car and turns to look at you seriously. "Are your parents home?" She asks. 

"No. They travel a lot for work." You say. She nods distractedly as she unbuckles her seatbelt. You're about to ask if she was planning on coming inside when she suddenly lunges forward and kisses you. You're frozen with shock for a long moment before eagerly reciprocating. 

You can feel the way she smiles against your lips as she pulls back. You open your eyes just in time to watch her climb over the center console to straddle your lap. You reflexively place your hands on her hips to steady her and she gives you an amused, but ultimately fond look for it. "Hey," She says breathily. You can't help but watch her in awe. She reaches her hands out to grip both sides of your open flannel. "You look really hot in my clothes." She says. 

"You look really hot in your clothes, too." You offer, trying not to seem so love drunk on someone you just kissed for the first time. She laughs softly and pulls you forward into another bruising kiss. You're lost in the feeling of her mouth moving against yours. 

You can't help but moan when she ruts down against your lap, which she eagerly uses to deepen the kiss. She's fighting hard for dominance that you're more than willing to let her have. You flex your fingers against her waist, shifting your hands to slip your thumbs into her belt loops to encourage her to keep moving. 

She pulls away from you all too soon in order to catch her breath. You were feeling pretty light headed yourself, but you figured there were much worse ways to go. You look up at her watching the way her chest moves as she pants for breath, the way her lips are plump and swollen. You marvel at the fact that you could do that to Shauna Shipman. 

You lean forward eagerly, unable to resist your desperate need to kiss her senseless only to be stopped in your tracks by your seat belt locking against you. You raise a hand to tug at it but it doesn't give. Shauna laughs at your expense and shifts in your lap so that you can't reach the buckle.  You run your hands up and down the sides of her thighs, savoring the feel of her against you. If you can't kiss her you'll take what you can get. You pout exaggeratedly up at her and she shakes her head softly, her lips quirking at the edges as she tries not to smile. 

She stays just frustratingly out of reach, seemingly very happy to tease you. She reaches a hand up and slips her fingers underneath the seat belt and tests the give. "I think I like you more like this," She says quietly, as if for your ears only. "All tied up."

You try to muffle the reaction her words cause, but judging by the knowing look on her face you didn't do a great job of it. You give in. "Please." You whine. "Please kiss me again, Shauna?" You can tell by the way she rocks against you that she really likes that. 

You never claimed to have any dignity. "I'll do anything." You plead, readily willing to use her enjoyment against her. "Please don't leave me like this, Shauna." You draw her name out in a whine and that seems to be what finally gets her. She reaches forward to grab at the handle and sends your seat flying backwards. 

You gasp sharply as she bites down hard against your neck, your hand flying up to pull roughly against her hair in warning. "Sorry," She lies, breathing heavily. "Been wanting to do that all morning." She traces her finger gently across the mark on your neck, looking smugger than you'd previously thought her capable of.

"Make it up to you." She promises as she leans down to start sucking an accompanying mark on the other side of your neck. 

"You'd better." You murmur pointlessly, closing your eyes and tilting your head back to give her more room. 

… 

You're just stepping out of the shower about a week later when you hear the quiet buzz of your phone. You shift your towel to hold it with one hand as you unlock your phone on the way back to your room.

Shauna

Hey.

hey

Do you want to do something later?

Just us, I mean? 

You glance down at the message with barely hidden surprise. Is she asking you on a date? 

sure. wanna see a movie? 

If you want too. I mostly just wanted to see you, really. Can I come pick you up now? 

i have a car shauna

I want to drive us, please? 

nice to have u begging for once but sure 

give me like 20 b4 you come over though

just got out of the shower

You watch as three dots appear, disappear, appear, and disappear again. You grin down at your phone. Clearly she didn't know how to respond to that one. You shake your head amusedly and move to get dressed. 

You're bouncing your legs excitedly in the living room as you wait for Shauna to pull down the driveway. Sure, maybe you were a little more attached to her than you should be as the other woman; Who could blame you though, when it came to either of them. You knew this whole situation was going to blow up in your face, but you've decided you're going to enjoy the ride. 

You wait for a tense 30 seconds after Shauna knocks to go and open the door. No need to let her know how excited you are, after all. "Hey," She says quietly, taking a quick glance at you. She looks just as excited as you are, anxiously fiddling with the cuff of her flannel. 

You grin at her. "You look nice," You offer, hands reaching up to refold the collar of her flannel. 

"You too," She says and she watches your hand intensely, almost a little unsure. You gently pull her forward by her flannel and press a soft kiss against her lips. You let go and smooth the edges back down. She looks just a little surprised but she can't hide the way it made her blush. She gestures to her car and you follow. 

As she slips in the driver's seat you make a show of wearily eyeing her from the passengers seat. She sends you a confused look before her eyes widen in realization. She scoffs playfully and rolls her eyes. "Won't jump you this time, scouts honor." She promises wryly. 

"I don't believe that," You tease. 

"Don't think I can control myself?" She asks amusedly. 

"Don't believe you were ever a girl scout." You reply. She hums in acknowledgment, shrugging at you. "Doesn't matter anyways. Not wearing my sexy underwear this time, so you'll have to keep it to yourself." You say. 

She laughs boisterously as she turns back to you. "You weren't wearing sexy underwear last time either." She says. 

You gasp and dramatically turn to face the window, arms crossing on your chest. "So now my underwear's ugly? I'll have you know that I borrowed those clothes from Jackie, so…" You trail off. 

Shauna, as if suddenly sensing the hole she's dug herself into, says nervously, "It's not that they were ugly it's just tha-" She glances over midway through her sentence and scoffs as she sees the reflection of your smile in the window.

"Eyes on the road, Shauna." You remind teasingly. 

"Bitch." She murmurs fondly.

The both of you come stumbling out of the theater leaning against each other and drunk with giddiness. "Oh my god," You wheeze, desperately trying to catch your breath. She nods against your shoulder, shaking with silent laughter. 

"I can't believe he just punched his head off." You say, losing the battle against laughing again. She murmurs her agreement as she looks at you as if you put the stars in the sky. You finally manage to stop laughing as you wonder whether she looks at Jackie like that too.

 She watches the change of your expression curiously, but decides not to call you out on it. She offers her arm out gallantly and you wrap your arm around it readily, letting her lead you back to the car. 

You're about to make a comment involving chivalry when you see her. Nat watches you with an unreadable expression from her position sitting on a curb. She pulls the cigarette from her mouth, exhaling a cloud of smoke as she waves it slightly in greeting.

You fidget nervously with the sleeve of Shauna's flannel, the one she took off and told you to wear the second you even looked cold in the theater. You can imagine how this looks, especially with the two of you practically tripping over each other. You don't know what to say. What could you even say? You wave back slowly and look away, trying desperately to hide your shame. 

… 

You and Nat spent the entire car ride in silence which made the sound of the engine turning off practically deafening. You mechanically get out of the car and unlock the store, Nat trailing quietly after you. 

You and Nat had always chosen to get summer jobs at the same place, given the ease of picking and dropping Nat off for work if you were going to the same place. You didn't want her walking all the way there every time, and she was too prideful to accept your rides otherwise. 

"You're going to get hurt, Y/N." She says seriously. You jump in shock, not expecting her to break her vow of silence so soon. 

"You're not going to lecture me about being the other woman twice?" You ask quietly, wanting to change the subject. She raises an eyebrow.  "I'm fucking both of them," You confess. Her mouth drops open in shock, before she manages to catch herself. 

She laughs wryly. "I don't care if you want to fuck someone's girlfriend, Y/N. I care because you looked like you really liked her." She says. You glance down silently, unable to disagree and unsure what to say otherwise. 

"Y/N," She says seriously, a hard expression adorning her face. "She won't pick you over Jackie, and Jackie won't pick you over Shauna."

You laugh bitterly, scrubbing at a table roughly. "You think I don't know that, Natty?" You say softly, voice catching at the end. She looks up from her own table and softens the second she catches your teary eyed expression. 

"Hey," She says, tinged with awkwardness. She walks over and pulls you into a hug, gripping you tightly. "It's alright. I'm sorry. I should have minded my business."

You shake your head against her shoulder. "You're my best friend, Natalie." You say wetly. "It's your job to be in my business, don't you forget that." She laughs quietly into your hair, pulling you tighter against her. 

You're interrupted by the soft sound of someone clearing their throat. You try to rub the tears away before you turn to face the customer. Jackie watches the two of you with an obvious expression of jealousy, which turns suspicious the second she catches a look at your face. "What did you say to Y/N?" She asks, looking accusingly at Nat. 

Nat scoffs and holds her hands up placatingly. She sends you a meaningful glance before walking off behind the counter. "Hey," You say quietly. 

"What did she say to you?" Jackie repeats insistently. You shake your head softly with a laugh. 

"Nothing. She didn't say anything, it's just…" You trail off, trying to think of a good excuse. 

"It's just?" She prompts. 

"Started thinking about how it's going to be our last real summer here. Sure, Nats gonna be my roommate next year, but it just won't be the same." You lie. It wasn't fully a lie, but you felt guilty nonetheless. You've gotten a lot of practice lying recently. 

"Nat's going to Rutgers?" She asks, sounding surprised. You nod. 

"Seems being on a National winning soccer team does a lot to make up for bad attendance." You confirm. 

She nods. "Buzz, buzz, buzz." She says seriously, making you burst out laughing. She pouts at you, but the corners of her lips turn up nonetheless. 

You absently pull at the collar of your shirt, suddenly thankful for the uniform's high collar. If she got that jealous over you hugging Nat you think the sight of your neck might kill her. She follows the motion curiously but doesn't comment on it. 

"What are you doing here, anyways?" You ask curiously, glancing around pointedly. She pauses to think of an explanation as a blush begins to bloom on her face. You can't help but smirk. "Did you come all this way to see me, Jackie?" 

"No," She pauses. "I came here to get a sandwich."

"There are certainly closer places to buy sandwiches," You said. You had, after all, picked a location closer to Nat's trailer on purpose. You hesitate for a moment, deep in thought. "Actually, how did you get here?" 

She smiles, relieved for the change in conversation. "Shauna drove me, duh." She says obviously. You tense at the thought. Did Shauna know she was driving her girlfriend out to cheat on her? 

No, definitely not. You and Shauna would be having a much different conversation if she thought you were fucking her girlfriend. You try to shake the thought off, but you can't kick the guilt. 

"What can I get you then?" You ask in your very best customer service voice. She tilts her head to the side in an expression of confusion. "Your sandwich," You remind her. 

"Oh," She mutters softly. She looks up at the menu unsurely for a few long minutes. "Surprise me?" She suggests awkwardly. You shrug and head behind the counter. 

Loser. You mouth at her. She pouts but watches interestedly as you make her sandwich. "Here or to-go?" You ask. 

She pouts up at you. "Can't you come sit with me?" She asks. You hated when she used the puppy dog eyes on you. You look helplessly over at Nat who rolls her eyes and gestures out toward the table. You hand Jackie her sandwich and spring forward to press a wet kiss against Nat's cheek, snickering at her expressions of disgust. 

You join Jackie at her table. She holds her sandwich up to you expectantly. You glance at it and then back to her. "You didn't make it with love," She teases. You roll your eyes. 

"That would be a healthcode violation," You point out. She gestures back to the sandwich. You sigh and lean forward to press a gentle kiss to her sandwich. "Is it edible now?" She nods happily and starts eating it. 

You sit and quietly talk with her until she finishes her sandwich, and she joins you by the counter until Shauna comes back to pick her up. You watch her leave and exhale loudly in disappointment. Nat snickers at you but doesn't otherwise acknowledge it.

...

You're just on the edge of sleep, but just as your eyes start to slip closed you hear a clang as something hits your window. You watch it carefully and see what looks to be a rock hitting your window. You grab your phone to call 911 when it starts going off on its own. 

You look down to see that Jackie's calling you. Surely, she wouldn't… You sigh. Jackie's dramatic ass would do something like that. You answer the call as you sneak a look outside. Sure enough, there's Jackie Taylor outside throwing rocks at your window. "Hey," She says over the phone, waving at you from outside. 

"I wasn't actually sure if you could hear the rocks." She says, smile tinged with just a hint of bashfulness. She's so gorgeous. You think mindlessly. You wave back at her, unable to resist her charm. "Let me in?" She asks. 

"Course." You murmur sleepily and hang up the phone. You walk downstairs while trying to rub the sleep out of your eyes. You open the door to Jackie looking pristine as ever. You can't help but feel a little self conscious in nothing but your big t-shirt and boxers, but you're quickly reassured by the quirk of her lips as she eyes you up and down. 

"Hey," She says shyly. You cross your arms and lean against the doorway as you give her a curious look. 

"Hey?" You ask playfully. 

"I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here, huh?" She says. You tilt your head questioningly to the side in response. "I missed you," She admits, smiling softly at you. 

You can't help but grin as you reach out to pull her into a tight hug, resting your head on her shoulder. You laugh quietly into her ear and say, "We've been texting literally all day, how could you have the chance to miss me?" You ask teasingly. 

"Just not the same, Y/N." She whines, inhaling deeply into your hair. You let go of her to gently pull her away from you, both hands resting on her shoulders. 

"Did you seriously just smell me?" You ask amusedly. She shrugs and keeps smiling unrepentantly. You laugh quietly. "Freak." You whisper affectionately, and slide your hand down her arm to grab her hand and pull her up towards your bedroom. 

"And yet," She says, flopping back happily on your bed. "It's worked perfectly on you."

You laugh as you climb on next to her and lay back far more gently. "Suppose I have a thing for freaks." You admit playfully. She rolls on her side to look over at you with a pleased expression. 

"You'd better." She says simply. God, she's so weird. You think. She leans in to kiss you when she suddenly stops in her tracks. She lays a hand down on your chest to push you flat on your back as she shifts up to straddle you. You don't even get a chance to ask what's wrong before she starts pulling at the neckline of your shirt to expose the marks on your neck. 

She stares at the lingering teeth marks Shauna had left on your neck a few days ago, hidden in the stacks of the bookstore she'd drug you to. She runs her fingers over it with an unreadable expression, feeling curiously at the edges. You watch her carefully, not really sure what to say. She puts her hand up to your chin and cups it gently, the tip of her thumb just barely reaching your mouth. You press an affectionate kiss against her thumb and her expression softens, settling back to her normal Jackie Taylor brand of exuberance. 

"I didn't think I'd find that so hot," She murmurs distractedly, shifting her focus to looking at the other side of your neck. She grins at what she finds, a pleased expression growing slowly on her face. "Missed a spot," She says happily, leaning over and biting down. 

Your body jerks harshly in surprise at the action but she presses her hand back down against your chest to still you as she keeps nipping and sucking at your neck. You can tell that she didn't bite you nearly as hard as Shauna did, but damn if it still didn't hurt. 

You reach a hand up to wrap in Jackie's hair, gently tugging it to get her away from you. She makes a whiny complaint but follows the motion dutifully. You scoff as you get a look at the needlessly smug expression adorning her face. You let go of her hair to rest your hands on her hips, fingers flexing warningly as she glances back at your neck. 

You decide to put a stop to that and flip the both of you over. Jackie makes a pleased noise at the motion, staring up at you with her hair splaying out widely against the pillow. You grin, embarrassedly fond of the look. 

You lean down to claim her lips in a bruising kiss, which she eagerly reciprocates. Your mind blanks at the feeling of her lips against yours, which is why it takes you an embarrassedly long time to realize she's been tugging at your shirt trying to convince you to take it off for at least five minutes. 

You sit back on her hips and smirk down at her. "Show you mine," You offer. She rolls her eyes but takes her own shirt off. You watch her hungrily; not remembering the night you originally shared together made this feel like the first time. She makes an impatient gesture and you finally take your own shirt off. 

She makes a surprised noise as she looks up at you, eyes scanning greedily. You look down, a little confused. Oh. You think. You fidget with the strap of her bra uncomfortably. "I was going to sleep. It's a bit of a tits out kinda outfit." You defend with a shrug. She nods quickly but manages not to move her eyes away from you. 

You wonder if she looks at Shauna like this too. You feel an increasingly familiar pang of guilt and do your best to table the thought. She's looking at you like this now, that's all that matters. You toy with the clasp of her bra and slowly unhook it, pulling it up and off her shoulders in one fluid motion. 

"There," You say. "We're even now, no need to stare." She grins. 

"Always a reason to stare, Y/N". She murmurs. You start to roll your eyes at her but glance down to meet a distraction of your own. She giggles at your expense. 

"Shut up, Jackie." You mutter as you lean down to suck a mark into the curve of her breast. She releases a quiet gasping noise, fingers flexing as her nails dig into your shoulder. You can already tell she's going to wreck your back. You can't wait. 

… 

You groan happily as you stretch out fully on your bed as you wake up, hissing slightly as the motion pulls at the scratches on your back. Must've fucked me up good. You think aimlessly. Jackie makes a whiny noise at the movement, clearly not pleased to have been woken up. She rolls over in your arms to face you, smiling gently at you. 

She opens her mouth to speak when she catches sight of something over your shoulder and her eyes widen. "Shit." She says panickingly, throwing the covers off of the both of you to bolt to her clothes on the floor. You turn around curiously and catch sight of the alarm clock on your bedside table. Shit, you'd really slept the day away. You think, rushing to your closet to get dressed. 

You stumble out fully dressed and hurry to the bathroom to finish getting ready. "Hurry up!" She calls out impatiently. "We need to stop by my house so I can finish getting ready. I can't believe you're going to make us late."

"I'm making us late?" You say in disbelief. "You're the one who wanted another one."

"You gave it to me!" She accuses. 

"Next time I won't." You say, walking out of the bathroom and tugging her down the stairs after you. She argues that point all the way to the car, and you open the door for her still laughing at her hurried reassurance that she didn't mean it. 

You look down at your watch for the third time in 45 minutes and can't help but roll your eyes. She accused you of making the two of you late, seriously? You couldn't say you were all that upset about it though. You'd been contentedly watching Jackie getting ready for the better part of an hour. You'd gotten so lost in the motions of her makeup you almost didn't catch her question. 

"What?" You ask, startled. 

"I asked if you were ready?" She asks. You nod as you stand up. "You didn't brush your hair, though?" 

You grin at her as you raise a hand to brush down the flyaways before flashing her a thumbs up. She rolls her eyes. "Shauna does the same thing," She says fondly as she turns to find her purse. Your face falls but you quickly school your expression into neutrality by the time she turns around. 

Wait a second. "Is that my letterman?" You ask. "When did you even grab that?" She laughs, patting at your arm as she drags you out the door. 

You open the car door for her and watch her curiously. "Are you wearing my letterman to the party?" You wonder. She hums in acknowledgement. 

This is going to be a shit show. You think idly

… 

As you walk into the party you can't help but wonder if you're walking into your own funeral. When you look over to see Jackie still wearing your jacket you can almost hear the sound of the ambulance that's going to carry you away. You steel your nerves as Shauna looks over but to your utmost surprise she just smiled and waves at the both of you. 

In fact, her eyes seem to narrow on the marks that Jackie had left on your neck. You wave nervously at her and she acknowledges it with a nod, turning back to her conversation with Tai. You can see Nat send you a wide eyed look as she catches sight of Jackie. 

You start to walk over to her when Jackie's fist closes around your arm, stopping you in your tracks. "Leaving me so soon?" She asks sweetly, with just a hint of a threat. You almost break your neck in your hurry to shake your head no. She smiles sweetly at you, patting your arm affectionately. She drags you off to go talk to the other girls, managing to keep touching you the entire time. 

You're leaning up against the wall next to her as she talks to Mari; you're trying not to make it obvious that you're bored out of your mind. You're nearly crying tears of relief as you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. You've gotten a message from Shauna. You angle your phone so that Jackie can't see the contents as you open the message.

Shauna

Come meet me upstairs.

can't. with jackie and mari rn

For me?

you know how jackie is 🤷

I do. What if I could make it worth your while, though?

[Attachment] 

Your eyes go wide as you look at it. As you look at them. You glance upstairs wide-eyed and look over at Jackie. "I've got to go." You say. She shakes her head no and you nod in return. She sighs exaggeratedly as she lets go of your arm. 

"Go on. Everybody abandons poor Jackie." She says dramatically and squeezes your hand affectionately. 

You're almost to the stairs when you vaguely hear Mari say that "She'd never abandon her." You turn around just in time to catch the slightly sour expression on Jackie's face, and try to stifle your laughter as you bolt up the stairs. 

You find Shauna on the second door you try, taking in the sight of her as you try to erase what you saw in the first room you tried. You lock the door behind you as you hurry towards her and happily climb into her lap. 

"Hey," She says softly. You laugh quietly before glancing down at her bra-covered chest, catching the faint outline of her nipples. 

"Cold, are we?" You say with a grin. 

"Shut up," She murmurs shyly. 

"Shut up," You whine mockingly. "You send me half-naked pictures while I'm with Jackie and now you want to get shy on me?" 

She smiles smugly. "You liked it," She accuses. You nod and decide to kiss that smug little expression of hers away. You gently cup her face with your hand caressing your thumb absentmindedly against her cheek as you taste her. It's more gentle than you can honestly justify for a hookup, but you've gotten used to wanting things you can't have. 

You break away as she starts tugging insistently at the bottom of your shirt. You laugh breathlessly and tug at the neckline of your shirt, tossing it haphazardly off toward the floor. She lazily throws her arms around your shoulders to pull you closer, but suddenly changes direction with a curious look on her face. She runs her hands down your back slowly, feeling at the edges of the scratches Jackie left with her fingertips. You make a strangled noise at the sting of pain it causes, not entirely opposed to the feeling. 

She's quiet for a few long moments, watching you carefully as she continues to tease at just the edge of pain. "You topped her?" She asks. You startle slightly, not expecting her to acknowledge it. You wonder idly who exactly Shauna thinks 'her' is. You nod slowly. 

"You’ve never tried to top me." She says. You laugh, not sure where she's going with this. "Why not?" She asks hesitantly. You can't help but grin at her obvious annoyance at having to be even the slightest bit vulnerable. 

"Didn't really have the chance." You say, cupping her chin and forcing her to make eye contact with you. She fights against your grip as she tries to turn her head away. "Stop it," You murmur. She sighs as the fight goes out of her, leaving her to have to look at you as you speak. 

"Do you want me to?" You ask. She looks a little uncomfortable at the question and makes pointed glances at your lips to distract you from it. "Shauna." You say pointedly. 

"I've never… With Jackie before." She says slowly. You snicker. Obviously. She taps you gently on the arm in reproach, but she grins widely at the comment. She steels her face into a determined look as she nods to herself. "I’d like to try. If you want to." She spits out quickly, as if it pains her. 

You trace your thumb up her chin and to her lips, pressing gently against it. She parts her lips as you touch the pad of your thumb against her tongue. You watch her carefully for signs of discomfort, and finding none you smile at her. "Knew you could take directions, Shauna. You gonna let me take care of you?" You ask teasingly. 

She makes a shocked noise around your thumb, a little surprised by how much she likes it. She nods slowly. 

… 

You lay in bed later that night, having dropped Jackie back off at home, staring blankly at your ceiling. You lift your hand in front of your face and flex your fingers slowly. You can't even look at them without thinking about her: about the way her mouth felt around them, the way she felt around them. You know it must be your imagination, but you swear you can still hear the faint sounds of her gasps and quiet moans. 

You press your hands against your ears to drown it out, but you can't escape what you're only imagining. You exhale loudly, and roll over to face the wall. You've gotten in too deep with both of them. At first you could ignore the guilt, after all they had both decided to step out. Neither of them had the right to truly be mad at the other, right? 

The longer you spent with them the deeper you fell. All that's left is your desperate need to be a part of it. If you can't have them, at least they can have each other. This has to stop. You decide. You'll just make it stop. How hard can it be to avoid them for a few more weeks? You'll all be going to college soon. 

The answer was a lot harder than you'd think. You gently told Shauna the next time she texted that you were super busy with work and couldn't meet up, only for her to show up at your house later that night just to sleep. As you drift off to sleep in her arms you wonder how the hell you're going to get out of this one; When her arm reflexively tightens around you in her sleep you question if you really even want to. 

You make excuse after excuse whenever one of them texts you, and yet they're always so accommodating. The reassuring texts you get from Jackie after canceling your plans last minute due to 'car troubles' almost make you feel worse than the cheating did. It all comes to a head about a few days later with a loud knock on the door. 

You've been laying on the couch doomscrolling through TikTok for at least an hour, so you're happy for any distraction at this point. You peer through the peephole expecting a salesman only to be confronted by both Jackie and Shauna waiting outside your door. You're filled with an unimaginable amount of dread as you slowly open the door. 

"Hey," Jackie says with a slightly pinched expression. "Can we talk?" She asks, but Shauna pushes her way through the door before you can answer. 

"Great." Shauna says blankly with an annoyed expression on her face. She sits down on the couch, obviously fuming, and points expectantly to the seat across from her. "Sit."

"What Shauna means to say," Jackie says pointedly as she closes the door behind her. "Is would you please sit and talk to us?" Shauna rolls her eyes, clearly that isn't what she wants to say to you. You sit right on the edge of your seat, hands clenching the arms of your chair, ready to bolt at the slightest hint of danger. 

"Good," Jackie says, taking the seat next to Shauna. "Me and Shauna were talking earlier." She starts, looking unusually uncomfortable. 

"You lied to us." Shauna states simply. Jackie sends her a perturbed look but Shauna continues on, "You told me you were working, and you told Jackie you were out of town." 

You couldn't help but wince. In your defense, you really didn't think they'd communicate enough to put that together. You felt very comfortable with those lies when you told them. "Imagine our surprise," Shauna continues, "When we drove past and your car was outside."

You stare down at the floor, unsure of what you could possibly say or do in this situation. You were just so tired. Tired of sneaking around, tired of all the lying. "I'm sorry," You say robotically. "I'm just getting stressed with college coming up." Jackie sighs and Shauna scoffs in response. You continue to stare at your socks. 

You can hear shuffling and Jackie walks over and squats down next to the chair. "Hey. " She says softly as she holds one of your hands between hers. "Can you look at me?" You can't help but glance at Shauna who, while still undeniably upset, has seemed to soften since the conversation began. You finally meet Jackie's eyes to see the look of concern on her face. 

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion the longer you look at her. "I know that it must be a lot right now trying to find your place in our relationship, but if you need space you need to talk to us. You don't get to lie to us like that, Y/N." She says seriously. 

In our relationship? You think, flabbergasted. 

"We agreed it would be easier if we saw you separately, remember? But maybe we've been taking up too much of your time? It's probably really difficult balancing both of us, Nat, and your job. Huh?" Jackie asks. You nod slowly, not sure what's happening. Shauna sighs loudly and exasperatedly as she walks over and squats down next to Jackie. 

"Stop looking pathetic and sad. It's hard to be mad at you when you do that." Shauna teases, flashing you a wry grin. You laugh wetly, on the verge of tears. "Hey, hey. I said stop being sad." She says a little panicked. You shake your head trying to stifle the urge to cry. 

"Maybe we rushed it a bit when we talked at the party?" Shauna asks. 

At the party. You think slowly. You've got to be fucking kidding me. This whole time? 

"No. No. We didn't rush it." You say quickly, thinking fast to come up with a better excuse. 

"You're right. I've been having trouble balancing my time, and I didn't want you guys to think I was playing favorites or anything." You lie, more than willing to use an excuse so readily offered to you. "I'm really sorry that I lied to you guys. I should have just been honest from the start."

"You should've." Shauna says honestly. Jackie elbows her gently in the side. "What? Am I wrong? Tell me I'm wrong." You smile affectionately as they bicker like an old married couple. 

"Enough." Jackie says with a laugh, sharing a long look with Shauna. Shauna watches you carefully, notably suspicious, but ultimately seems willing to accept your lie. After confirming they're on the same page Jackie turns and smiles up at you. 

"How about," Jackie starts slowly. "We start hanging out together? The three of us. That way you'll have time for all of us." Shauna nods in agreement. Your smile splits your face in two as you nod eagerly. Shauna laughs mockingly at you, but squeezes your hand affectionately. 

… 

You stretch out across Shauna's couch contentedly, laying across Shauna and Jackie who sit at either end. Jackie makes an annoyed noise as she gently swats at your leg. "Careful," She chides, "You nearly kicked my phone out of my hand." 

You peek an eye open as Shauna's muffled laughter shakes your body. You feign a pout as you look up at her, your head laying in her lap. "I didn't come here to be attacked like this," You say in a whiny voice. Shauna snickers in amusement, but sets her phone down to slip a hand into your hair to massage gently at your scalp. 

Your eyes slide shut again as you move your head into her hand like a cat. Jackie sighs dramatically, as if particularly put out. "I'm still here guys," She reminds you, but you can hear the smile in her voice. You shift slightly and nudge at her arm with your foot. "Thanks, Y/N." She says dryly. Still, she grabs ahold of your ankle and starts stroking her thumb absentmindedly across the sliver of skin showing between your jeans and your socks in a gentle caress. 

You couldn't have dreamed of a better resolution to your problems than the one you'd got, even if you had some extremely rough passages along the way. It was even worth the embarrassing phone call you had made to Nat, who laughed hysterically for almost 20 minutes at your expense. Your lips quirk up at the thought. 

"What are you thinking about?" Shauna asks softly. You hum in amusement. 

"Always so nosy." You chide affectionately. "Thinking about you. How pretty my girlfriends are. The usual." Shauna makes a slightly choked noise in embarrassment, her fingers tightening reflexively in your hair. You make a pained noise and she quickly lets go with a few whispered apologies as she continues to gently play with your hair. You don't bother to open your eyes, knowing her well enough to imagine the pretty blush staining her face.

[r4vn]

–18+ LIFE RANT WRITER THOUGHTS & GIRL TALK

listen yall we are about to get REALL personal im not sober from a houseparty i had last night playing Drinkopoly and if we gonna be writer besties LISTEN UP

so i have a fling. or an attempted flingy..situation rn. i havent seen him in nearly 2months now bc first month he had a situation and i went to uni!

but my GOD...THE PINING BETWEEN US? I NEED TO DIEE GUYS. i initiated the fling first (i sweet talked the hell out of him i love making men intimidated) and then never got to kiss him or see him or ANYTHING bc he had a srs situation going on. so now its just huge horny pining between us and texting bc his car is in another state rn and im at university AND THE FLING WAS SUPPOSED TO STOP WHEN I GOT TO UNI BUT I CONTINUED IT BC IDK KFNDJFBD ANYWAYS GUYS WHEN I TELL YOU OVULATION WAS KILLING ME AND THE URGES CARRIED INTO MY CYCLE AND I JUST CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM HE'S SO CUTE AND DORKY AND MAKES ME FLUSTERED SO BAD URRGHGKGKFKFG

his hands ..his arms..i love arms on a man so much i want them around me after a brief round of play fighting and he's jus holding me securely so i dont run.. they arent too veiny and his hands r soft and well kept and he has tattooes on his forearms of an artist we both love and i jus want to JUMP HIS BONES.

he has thee best, dorkiest smile and his laugh is so contagious its so silly and HES SO SILLY.

i dont care if we are the same height and he's a..not bigger guy..but like samoan-man build if YK WHAT I MEAN....samoans r big but not BIG. he jus has that masc bigger build and when he wears his work uniform and sends a video in it i pay no attention to the words spoken. errfgggngngfnffnnfnfnffnfndnhnhhnhnhn please pick me up and sit me on the counter omfggmg

AND OUR FIRST 2 HANGOUTS HE WAS HELPING ME W THINGS AND HE SPOKE SOFTLY AND IN SUCH A PRAISING WAY "there you go, you got it." "its okay youre doing good" IT TRIGGERED MY DENYING PRAISE KINK SO BAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭SO😭😭BAD😭😭😭 WE WERE DRINKING AND I SHOULDA JUS KISSED HIM THERE

he's the flirty type to tease you gently and so smoothly guys lemme show you texts (i have samsung so 🙄)

*bella is his dog i would die for her

BUT LOOK?? ISNT THST WAY OF FLIRTING?? SO HOT AND LEAVES YOU YEARNING FOR MORE??? URFGGKGGNG i need him under me moaning and whimpering and trembling RAAAAAHHH FUCK.

i keep imagining sharing beers with him again and kissin him as slowly as possible and he yearns for more but i back up nd he leans in even more trying to capture my lips till he grabs my waist with one hand and my jaw with the other forcing me to kiss him as he is getting impatient jus groaning into my mouth after waiting so long to kiss me eehehehehehehehee

or he just using me and im facing away from him and holds my hips as they meet with every thrust and reaches forward to put his hand over my mouth saying "awh i know baby... i know.." AGGGGGGHGHH

i think im done. i think. this will deleted whenever LFMAOAOA

[bitchin-beskar]

the taste of scotch and cigars - chapter one

Rating: M

Pairing: Captain John Price x Fem!Reader

Warnings: fake dating trope, propositioning a stranger in a bar, drinking/mentions of being tipsy (minor), intense makeout in public, hints of exhibition kink, hints of voice kink, absolutely fucking douchebag of an ex, mentions of cheating, I think that's it for this chapter? Most of these will be expanded the further into the story we get, and more warnings will come hehe.

Word Count: 3.7k

A/N: this is one of the au ideas I've ranted to @catsnkooks about (there are many) and I wanted to schedule the first chapter drop during my vacay because it's been sitting in my wip folder and I wanna get opinions to see if people like this idea/wanna see more. (I mean, I'm gonna post it regardless but I still wanna see if people are into the idea). anyways, enjoy this fun spin on a fake dating trope :)

The burn of cheap vodka as it slid down your throat did little to soothe the ache in your chest. Coming here was a mistake. You should’ve let sleeping dogs lie, let your past stay where it belongs. Instead, you’re submerged in old memories and familiar hurts, the waters of time washing over your head and threatening to drown you in melancholy and diffidence.

The noise of the packed pub pressed in from all sides, buffeting you and keeping you off balance, loud enough that you were barely able to hear yourself think. You’d managed to avoid interactions thus far, but the likelyhood of that dwindled with every second you lingered, waiting for…

Well.

God only knows what you were waiting for.

Draining the last dregs of your drink, the thunk of your empty glass on the wooden bar as you sat it down made you frown and debate waving over the bartender for another refill. You thought for a long moment, before you decided otherwise. If you were going to be interacting with others tonight, you’d prefer to have at least some of your wits about you, and the vodka you’d consumed was enough to take the edge of your sorrow off. Any more though, and you couldn’t be held responsible for what might happen.

You turned around in your seat, scanning the crowd. In the back corner of the pub, you saw them for the first time that night since you’d walked in. The group seemed to be concentrated in the back, thankfully. You’d done a perfunctory greeting with the hosts of this little reunion, and then beelined for the bar and had been sat there since. Honestly, you’re not entirely sure why you even came.

Unfortunately, right as you were looking over at the group, you made eye contact with Christian, the one person you’d been hoping to avoid. He’d been looking in your direction, and when he saw you, he smirked and stood up, beginning to try and make his way through the crowd.

“Fuck,” you muttered as you spun around again on your stool, regretting not having ordered another drink. “God fucking dammit.”

Squeezing your eyes shut, you began to wonder if it was possible for you to make a quick escape in the crowd, when your panic was interrupted by a deep and deceptively smooth British-accented voice to your right.

“Everythin’ alright, love?”

Turning your head, you made eye contact with the older man sitting next to you at the bar, and immediately your mouth went dry. How had you not noticed him yet?

He was absolutely gorgeous, with clear, intelligent blue eyes and thick dark brown hair that you wanted to run your fingers through. His cheeks and upper lip were covered in that same dark brown hair, shaved into mutton chops with stubble on his lower lip and chin. He was dressed in a light blue henley that clung to his torso, a hint of a ball chain disappering into the vee of the neckline, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and showing off his forearms. One hand was wrapped around a glass of scotch, and dangling from the fingers of his other hand was a lit Maduro cigar. He had on dark, well worn blue jeans that were moulded to his thighs, and black, slightly scuffed up combat boots.

He looked like the kind of man you’d spent many a shameful night fantasizing about back in high school, fingers ducking below the waistband of your sleep shorts as you clasped a hand over your mouth lest you wake your parents sleeping down the hall.

Those bright blue eyes were focused on yours, and you felt your cheeks heat under his surprisingly intense yet soft gaze. Something deep inside of you, fueled by the vodka, whispered that this was the kind of man you could trust, the kind of man who maybe, possibly would be willing to help a perfect stranger out of nothing but the kindness of his heart.

Maybe it was the alcohol, and you were drunker than you thought. Maybe it was the way he was looking at you, this gorgeous, dangerous man who managed to pierce you with such soft, kind eyes. Whatever it was, you lost control over your brain-to-mouth filter, and words began to spill forth.

“My ex is here, he just saw me and is coming this way, and it’s been years since I last saw him, and… god, I don’t have the strength to deal with him tonight, he never fucking takes no for an answer, would you be willing– I mean if it’s not too much trouble, and I could pay you back, but could I ask you–”

You managed to reboot your brain, but not quite fast enough to stop the spew of words from escaping you, and physically biting your own tongue was the only way to prevent you from making an even bigger fool of yourself. Immediately you averted your eyes, tearing yourself away from his piercing gaze as you shrunk in your seat, dread and shame roiling in the pit of your stomach and mixing with the alcohol to make you feel sick.

Jesus H. Christ, what the fuck were you thinking? He just asked if you were alright, he didn’t ask to have your entire life story dumped on him at the drop of a hat. He had to be at least ten years older than you, if not more, you were likely barely more than a silly little girl in his eyes. Shit, he’s probably got a stunning wife and gorgeous kids at home, and here you are, practically propositioning the poor man. Your mama always said you were a no-good, simple-minded child, and here you are, not even ten years outta her house and proving her right once again.

So lost in your self ruminations, you don’t notice the pensive look on the handsome stranger’s face, until suddenly there’s an arm wrapped securely around your waist and you’re being tugged off your barstool and onto a thickly muscled thigh, leaning against against the warm length of a heavily muscled torso. You somehow manage to not leap out of your skin in surprise, even when you feel the brush of his lips against the outer shell of your ear, his voice a low growl, gravel grinding against pavement.

“I’m more’n willing to help a pretty lil’ girl like you, love. No debt necessary. ‘Sides, a man who doesn’ understand the word no? Princess, that ain’t a man at all.”

Dreaming. You’ve gotta be stuck in some kind of alcohol intoxication induced fever dream, because there’s no fucking way that this is your life right now. Shit like this doesn’t happen outside of cheesy romcoms and trashy dime store novels. Let alone at random pubs in fucking Liverpool.

You’re not given the time to delve more into the ramifications of dreams induced by too much imbibed alcohol because your ears are abruptly assaulted by a reedy, nasally voice that you wished you could forget, but was burned into so many of your adolescent memories.

“Sweetcheeks! Goodness, it’s been awhile! You know, I wasn’t sure I’d see you here, we were all pretty surprised you showed up.”

The stanger-who’s lap you were perched-on turned at the interruption, his hand sliding from your hip across your belly, palm hot through the thin fabric of your shirt. He hooked his finger in your belt loop, fingers pressing reassuringly into the meat of your hip as his forearm felt like a bar of iron against your abdomen. The positioning was oddly possessive, like it meant more than him making sure you didn’t tip off his thigh and onto the dingy floor of the pub. His glass of scotch was abandoned on the bar, the arm not holding you streched out on the wood, cigar dangling from his fingers. You turned your head to look at the last person in the world you wanted to see, although you were distracted slightly from your ire by the slow drag of lips along the length of your jaw, the bristles on your stranger’s beard tickling the sensitive skin. It was an act that was surprisingly soothing as it was intimate.

Schooling your features, you looked at the face of the man who’d held your entire heart in his hands and shattered it on the ground without a second thought. Half a decade hadn’t dulled the pain, although you did a remarkable job at covering it up.

“Christian. Wish I could say it’s a pleasure.”

He pouted, an altogether unattractive look, although years ago it had been one to tug at your heartstrings. “Awe, don’t tell me you haven’t missed me, at least a little bit?”

You fixed him with a glare, even as fury began to burn low in your belly. “Why exactly would I be missing you, Christian?”

He rolled his eyes, as though the answer was exceedingly obvious, and he thought you dumb for even having to ask. “Awe, babes, you’re not still hung up about that little incident, are you? Even your momma thinks you’re overreacting, sweetcheeks.”

You cocked an eyebrow, even as you subconsciously sank further into your stranger’s embrace, his hold on you soothing and helping to keep you grounded. The admission that he still talked to your momma stung more than it should have, but then, she’d been heartbroken when you divorced who, in her eyes, was the most perfect embodiement of a son-in-law to ever grace God’s green earth. Figures she’d refuse to cut contact with him, even though you had.

“Hung up? Little incident? I came home to find you fucking Paisleigh, my best friend, in our fucking bed. And then I find out it wasn’t just the once, but practically every single week of our relationship, with about three dozen different girls over the years. I would say I have every right to still be pissed at you, Christian.”

“Well, that’s hardly my fault, is it? Men have needs, babes. I was just doing what I needed to, since you certainly weren’t fullfilling ‘em. You hardly needed to move halfway across the world cause you got a lil’ upset about it.”

It took every shred of self control you had to refrain from launching yourself off of your stranger’s lap–and dear sweet god, you’re just now realizing you don’t actually know his fucking name–and strangling the idiot in front of you. Honestly though, it was probably less about your self control and more about the way his arm tightened around you, his fingers hooking tighter around your belt loop. He brought his other hand up to take a slow drag off his cigar, the richly sweet smoke curling around your body as he exhaled, his chest pressed comfortingly against your back. He let his hand drop, resting it on top of your thigh, fingers carefully keeping the cigar away from the fabric of your pants.

You felt the movement of his head as he gave Christian a look, glancing up and down before scoffing darkly, the sound sending shivers down your spine. He only held you tighter, even as he opened his mouth, and the rich smoke of his voice filled your ears, deep and dripping honey, sending sparks straight to the fire in your gut.

“You’re no man. You’re barely more ‘n a immature little boy, a waste o’ space n’ air. If you’re not willin’ to stay faithful, then ya shouldn’t be in a relationship. If you weren’t satisfied, it certainly wasn’t somethin’ she was doin’ wrong.” He punctuated his words with a kiss to your temple, and dammit if it didn’t make you wanna melt into a puddle on the floor.

Christian puffed up, looking extremely offended, albeit ridiculous considering he was skinnier than a stick. “Do you have any idea who I am, old man?”

You’re trying very hard not to panic, because you didn’t have time to tell your stranger anything before this conversation, but you shouldn’t have worried, because he simply replied with a shrug of his shoulders, and a short, clipped, “Nah, should I?”

Dammit, you thought, trying to hold back a laugh. You didn’t know he was funny too.

If anything, that only pissed Christian off more. “Sweetcheeks, you didn’t tell your little friend here about your husband?”

“Ex-husband,” you hissed, eyes narrowing and body tensing at the way Christian spoke, all amusement draining from you at the sound of him acting so damn dismissive, it made you wanna claw his eyes out.

“Shh, is alrigh’, love,” your stranger whispered in your ear, and to your surprise, the tension bled back out of your limbs, the low timbre of his growl soothing the fury boiling inside you. Unfortunately, Christian rudely interrupted.

“And just who are you supposed to be?”

Your stranger chuckled, the vibrations rumbling pleasantly against your back. “Nah, I’m nobody special. Jus’ the one who took advantage of your colossal fuck up and married the sweet thing you let get away, ain’t tha’ right, love?”

It took every ounce of control you had to stop the surprise from showing on your face at his declaration. This was so far beyond anything you could’ve ever hoped for, you didn’t quite know how to handle it. There’d been no hesitation on his part, no awkward pauses or stuttering. Just a steady declaration that he was apparently your (fake, fake you reminded your brain) husband.

Christian’s cheeks were turning a ruddy color, nearly incandescent with rage. You should’ve realized that this little charade was gonna push him too far, especially when he bared his teeth and snarled.

“I pity you, sweetcheeks, you’re such an obvious charity case I should’ve known. No way is another man willing to settle down with you, especially considering the fact that you’re used, broken goods. Did’ja tell him that, before you trapped him, babes?” He growled, spittle flying. “Quieter than a doormouse in bed, she doesn’t even know how to properly pleasure a man, else I wouldn’ta needed to find someone else, isn’t that right?”

Ok, that was it. You were going to deck Christian here and now. You were done letting him have all the power, letting him walk all over you like he had for the entirety of your relationship. Just as you placed your hands on the forearm around your waist to push it off you so you could fight your fucking ex, a firm hand on your jaw distracted you, turning your face to the side and tilting it up, then slightly chapped lips were covering yours.

Oh.

Your eyes fluttered shut as calloused fingers smoothed over your jaw, cupping your face as your gorgeous, dangerous-looking stranger slowly pried your lips open and plunged his tongue into your mouth, stroking the length of it alongside your own tongue. You followed his lead, opening up beautifully beneath him, letting him kiss you deeper as he plundered your mouth, growing more heated, more passionate with every brush of his lips against yours. His beard scratched gently at the sensitive skin around your mouth, but beard-burn was quite literally the last thing on your mind. The entire world faded away, until it was just you and your stranger, and the deep, possessive way he kissed you.

He claimed you with his mouth, there was no better way to describe it. He drew back slightly, only so he could bite at your lower lip, teeth pulling at the darkened skin and making you let out a surprised moan before he dove back in, open mouthed and messy. He sucked on your tongue, making you whimper softly, which only spurned him on even more. His fingers tightned on your jaw, keeping you steady against his onslaught, stealing kiss after kiss. He stole the very breath from your lungs, every time you pulled back to gasp for breath he simply chased you, greedily depriving you of precious oxygen.

He tasted like scotch and cigars, the smooth burn and sharp bite of sweet smoke mixing to create something so uniquely him that you honestly couldn’t imagine him tasting like anything else. You wondered if he tasted the vodka on your tongue, or the coconut of the lip balm on your lips. Whatever your taste, he couldn’t seem to get enough.

A loud cough broke the bubble you’d found yourself enveloped in as he kissed you, but even still, he didn’t let you jerk away, pressing one, two, three kisses in quick succession against your swollen and tender lips, glossy and slick with spit.

Your eyes slowly opened, finding him already staring at you, his pupils blown wide, inky black surrounded by a pale, thin ring of blue. His fingers stroked the skin of your cheek, almost reverent as his gaze flickered between your own wide eyes and your ravaged mouth.

Incoherrent sputtering drew your attention away from the man who’d just kissed you–a fucking stranger–like you were the only two people to exisit in the world and not just at a pub in the middle of Liverpool, and you slowly slid your eyes from his to look at Christian.

You had to fight the urge not to laugh. Christian somehow managed to look equal parts dumbfounded and embarrassed as hell. Considering the way you’d just been kissed felt like it had to break some kind of public indecency law, you weren’t too surprised at the mix of emotions on his face, although they were quickly giving way to anger once again.

He didn’t get to interject, however, as your stranger spoke, his voice barely more than a growl. “If you’d been any good in bed, then maybe you’d have some kinda idea about all the pretty sounds my wife can make, but somethin’ tells me you weren’ ever enough to earn those, and like hell am I ‘bout to let you learn how she sounds when she makes ‘em now.”

Abruptly, he stood, easily hoisting you off his lap to stand on the ground, although his arm stayed secure around you and not letting you take even one step away from him.

“Hol’ this for me, love?”

He handed you his cigar, before digging in his back pocket to pull out a wad of cash, throwing it on the bar and making a quick gesture at the bartender to indicate that he was closing your tabs.

He turned back towards your ex, making eye contact even as he wrapped his fingers around your wrist and brought your hand up to his mouth so he could take a drag from his cigar still gripped between your fingers, breathing in deeply before exhaling, chuckling at the disgusted look on Christian’s face.

“My wife ‘n I are leavin now, cause I’ve been deployed too damn long and I don’ feel like wastin’ another second with bloody pricks who mattered so little in her life that she doesn’ even mention you.”

With that, and a gentle nudge, your stranger began to steer you out of the pub, sliding his arm from where it was still wrapped around you, instead slipping his hand into the back pocket on your jeans, cupping your ass and giving your ex a little show, and causing your heartbeat to race. The cool air hitting your face as you stepped out onto the streets of Liverpool felt like being reborn, as you felt the tension that had been gathering all of the last few weekes in preparation for today just… fade away.

The two of you walked a bit away from the door to the pub before your stranger slid his hand out from your back pocket, leaving you immediately missing the security and warmth he’d provided, even with just that little touch. You turned to look at him, silently offering his cigar back, which he took, but just let it dangle from his fingers. His expression was sheepish, and he rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand. It was endearing, and you found yourself having to violently squash the part of you that said to just go for it and kiss him again, just to see if he’d still react the same way without an audience.

“I do apologize, ma’am,” he offered, and you blinked, thrown a bit. Why on earth was he apologizing to you? Shouldn’t you be the one apologizing, for even asking a total stranger a favor like that in the first place?

“I might’a taken things a bit far back there, but no one should be talkin’ to ya like that, love. It don’ matter who they were or what they used’ta mean to ya.”

To your horror, you felt your eyes begin to burn with unshed tears. You were so used to being the one blamed for the failure of your relationship, being the one told that you must’ve done something wrong to force a man like Christian to seek someone outside of your marriage, that to have someone tell you that it wasn’t ok for you to be treated that way was like a balm on an old wound you didn’t realize had ripped back open.

You had no idea how to respond to what he’d said, and at a complete loss for words, you blurted out the first thing to come to your mind.

“I don’t even know your name?”

His laugh was deep and warm, and you desperately wanted to take it inside you and hold it’s comfort there for the rest of your life. He smiled at you, eyes twinkling, and held his free hand out.

“Captain John Price, British SAS, at your service, love.”

You took a deep breath even as you placed your hand in his, trying not to show how the sound of his title falling from his lips sent a heady rush of arousal through you. You’d thought he might’ve been military, and the confirmation was doing unspeakable things to you.

“I-, uh, sir-” you started, only to be cut off as he brought your fingers up to his lips, brushing them across the backs of your knuckles and making your knees go weak with the look he leveled you with.

“Love, not to be crass, but I’ve had my tongue down your throat and my hand on your arse. I think you can call me John.”

[spaceagebachelormann]

hii!!!

could u maybe write some henry clerval headcanons of him courting a fem reader? preferably friends to lovers,,,

ty!!

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

✧.* 𝐇𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐘 𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐋 𝐅𝐑��𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒

╰┈➤ NAVIGATION. MASTERLIST

╰┈➤ CARMILLAS NOTES: im ill i apologize in advance if this is horrible . also ur so real i love henry clerval he’s so midwest emo ! also i kinda incorporated the like long distance thing cause of the movie i watched the other day having an influence on me 😔 also pls don’t send any requests after this they’re closed rn! i let this one slide cause i love frankenstein though .. also victor x elizabeth mention cause they’re my roman empire

╰┈➤ WARNINGS: none

you guys met when you were running around the forest one afternoon out of pure boredom

him, victor and elizabeth were also wandering and you had happened to run into them

and because you’re all children in the middle of the woods you obviously became really good friends

elizabeth was happy to finally have a friend that was a girl, victor was happy he had someone he could rant to for hours on end, and henry was just happy in general

trios can be exhausting and he was never big on being elizabeth and victors third wheel so it was wonderful to have someone new to talk to

at first it was just a regular friendship and it stayed like this for years

you only came to geneva around late may and stayed until early september, because your parents had family that you only visited once a year

they became used to you running off with henry, sometimes all three of them or only two or one of the other ones but mainly henry for hours on end and begging to spend the night a few times

while elizabeth and victor spent a majority of their time together, you and henry were practically inseparable

after years of spending your summers with henry, he starts getting a weird feeling in his stomach

like he doesn’t know how to explain it, but whenever he’s around you or thinks about you his heart speeds up and he starts worrying about how he looks or what he’s wearing

he isn’t dumb though, he knows what the feeling is but he doesn’t want to admit it

there’s no point in his eyes because he’s sure it’ll go away soon and he only sees you during the summer anyway

but every year you come down with your parents the feeling will come back instantly (not that it actually went away)

elizabeth is the first to notice this

well victor noticed months prior but he didn’t care enough to ask about it (also because he just didn’t want to)

elizabeth is very calm and understanding and lets him rant to her to figure out his feelings

but henry is an emotional person and has a lot of feelings, so he’s going on for a long time before elizabeth stops him like “are you sure you don’t just like her?” and it all clicks for him

thankfully it’s may and you’ll be on your way in less than a month

by this time you’ve known him well over a decade and he’s finally gotten everything right to finally properly court you

he isn’t persistent or forcing at all, he knows it’s as big as a decision for you as it was him so he’s very patient

the way he begins is very sweet and works almost instantly

first, he’ll invite you on a walk through the same forest y’all met in and just let you rant to him about the last few months since he saw you

with help from victor, he has it all planned so the time you finish talking he’s right at the place he needs you to be

theres this clearing in the middle of the forest where the sun shines perfectly and there’s a little lake where ducks are sometimes and he knows you’d like this spot because it’s quiet and peaceful and nobody is there to interrupt

he had this set up hours before you even arrived as a picnic, all of it being foods and everything he knew you’d like

and while you’re sitting there talking he pulls flowers he picked himself out of the basket the food was in and offers them to you, before properly explaining why he did all of this

he makes sure you know that it you aren’t sure yet you have time to think about it but he’s so happy when you agree either way

hes very caring, the second you’re even slightly injured or sick he’s at your side already trying to make you better

henry also completely prioritizes you over anyone and everything else, he’s skipped out on many things to be with you instead

the second you walk into the room he’s pausing whatever conversation he was in and talking to you instead

and when he’s not talking with you he’s talking about you

“so the other day me and—“ “henry please stop talking about her”

(victor is the main victim of this)

hes also very big on gift giving, he likes to pick flowers for you a few times a week and just buy you things he thought you’d like or remind him of you

honestly hes probably the best character in the story you could be with

[sk1fanfiction]

@theartfuldodger26 Your post made me laugh (in a good way) so I had to write something based off it but I don't know if I'll ever finish it so I've decided to just post what I have instead of condemning it to Notes app purgatory.

OG post: “So, there're three options for the teenaged Bella/Tom dynamic. Bella is hideously bigoted towards him and he completely ignores her (until they fuck), OR Bella is hideously bigoted towards him and he is extremely cool with her (until they fuck), OR Bella is hideously bigoted towards him and they argue often (until they fuck).“

Bellatrix Black takes it upon herself to be hideously bigoted towards the sole half-blood (maybe Mudblood) in Slytherin House. Tom Riddle can’t risk detention, so he chooses the cloak-and-dagger method to get back at her. Why do they care so much about each other’s opinions, anyway?

Of course, the last thing Tom Riddle should be doing right now is messing with the blasted Head Girl.

For one, the whole school (except him) is terrified of her, and for very good reason. Bellatrix Black is a witch of formidable power, great intelligence and pride, and a furious temper. And if she catches him placing a very nasty and elaborate curse on her favourite quill, he’ll be the next subject of her ire. That will lead to a duel, and Tom can’t afford to have a detention on his perfect record. All the same, he can’t let her insults go unpunished.

She started it, Tom thinks, shaking his head. She always does. 

Last night, before they went on patrol, Tom accidentally knocked her bottle of ink over, and she took it upon herself to leap from her chair to call him a ‘filthy, lying, thieving Mudblood,’ in front of the whole common room no less. Red had swum before Tom’s eyes as she ranted about how disgusting and dirty he was, and how he didn’t deserve to be at Hogwarts, much less in Slytherin House, eyes flashing, and it had taken every ounce of his composure and even Occlumency to keep his lips pressed tightly together, bite his tongue, and ignore her. Oh, how he’d itched to tell her it was her own fault for leaving her ink unattended at the very edge of the table, or, better yet, to challenge her to a duel.

And then, he’d headed deep into the dungeons so no one could hear him, and screamed, just so he could blow off enough steam to have some patience left for their patrol.

One of Bellatrix’s younger sisters, Andromeda, had given him a sort of guilty look upon his return. But that did absolutely nothing to quell Tom’s fury.

And so, here he is, indulging in a fit of petty revenge, that scratches an itch neither Calming Draught nor nicotine ever can.

No one, not even Abraxas Malfoy, gets under Tom’s skin the way Bellatrix does, but he can’t let her know that she has that power over him. And given that Abraxas is three years Tom’s elder, attacked him at night, and made it his personal mission to make Tom’s life hell as soon as he suspected Tom to be Muggle-born, while Bellatrix has only gone as far as to be over-the-top verbally abusive, that doesn’t make sense.

Maybe it’s his increased exposure to Dark magic over the years. Irritability is the most well-known and common side effect.

No use pondering it. He speaks the last bit of the incantation, then stands up slowly and quietly. It’s three in the morning, and everyone in the girls’ dormitory is fast asleep. Tom, having grown up in an orphanage (thank God he doesn’t have to go back, ever again) is well-versed in the act of sneaking around without rousing anyone from their slumber. 

As he tiptoes towards her bookbag to replace the quill, Tom notices that the curtains around her bed are not fully shut. He glowers at her sleeping form — long, thick hair splayed out across the green pillowcase, a slight frown on her forehead, her mouth slightly open. The thought of hexing her in her sleep doesn’t cross his mind — cursing her items is one thing, but attacking an unconscious person is just cowardly and therefore utterly below him. Instead, Tom’s mind finds itself drawn to the surprising thought that, when she’s not insulting his supposed blood status, Bellatrix Black is actually quite beautiful. He has to confess that he never understood what Mulciber and the others were on about during their girl-crazy phase (upon reflection, they’re still in that phase). But now, he feels the cold-hot-cold fire of hatred mix with… something else unknowable, as he stares at her.

She stirs a little in her sleep, and Tom freezes. Why didn’t he think to use a Disillusionment Charm?

Luckily, she falls back into a deep sleep, and Tom hastily makes his escape. When he shuts the door between him, he’s sweaty and breathing hard, cold adrenaline racing through his veins. His legs feel shaky.

Silently, he makes his way back to the seventh-year boys’ dormitory, where the sound of Mulciber’s snoring instantly embraces him. It’s late, and he’s got N.E.W.T. Transfiguration with Dumbledore in the morning, so Tom gets into bed, pulls the sheets over his head, and hopes for dreamless sleep.

:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.:･ﾟ✧:･ﾟ✧

The ambient sounds of the dormitory are the first thing to greet Bellatrix in the morning, before she even opens her eyes. For some reason, she had a strange dream last night, of a figure looming over her.

Probably nothing. Bellatrix doesn’t go in for all that Divination nonsense, anyway. Her N.E.W.T.’s are coming up; it’s expected that she would experience some symptoms of stress.

As long as I do the House of Black proud, she thinks, sitting up, locating her hairbrush, and attending to the knots her hair has accumulated from tossing and turning all night. 

By the time she is done with her toilette, her hair is glowing with a glossy sheen, her tie has been done up, and her Head Girl badge neatly pinned to her robes. She points her wand at her perfume bottle, lifting her hair from behind her ears as it hovers there, dousing her in a light cloud of scent. 

She’s the first to leave the dormitory, some of the other girls still asleep, their curtains still drawn shut. No matter, she can take points later if necessary.

The seventh-year Slytherin boys are just ahead of her as she slips out of the common room and into the dark dungeon hallway — the Head Boy, Tom Riddle’s soft, silky tenor carries further than the deeper voices of the others, and Bellatrix sneers at his unpleasant accent besmirching the halls of Hogwarts. He sounds like a barrow-boy, and when they pass the group of boys, she makes sure to tell him exactly that.

“Who do we have here?” Bellatrix places her hands on her hips, and advances forward, everyone but Riddle shrinking back. “Riddle, I was thinking,”  she adds sweetly, “with the way you sound— don’t you have apples to sell in a wheelbarrow?”

Some of the boys behind him titter, hurrying to suppress their laughter.

But Riddle ignores her, as usual, not even blinking, the corners of his mouth and his eyebrows perfectly steady, though he shifts his feet uncomfortably, as if to attempt to hide his shabby but nicely-polished shoes. Bellatrix looks him up and down again, scanning him for more faults — she has no idea why riling him up amuses her so, but she’s not one for self-denial.

She can’t fault the rest of his appearance — his robes, like his books, may be secondhand, but everything is folded and creased and ironed impeccably; even the Head Boy badge is immaculately polished and gleams in the light. Not a strand of his jet-black hair is out of place, neatly gelled back, and not a hint of five o’clock shadow is visible, which is more than she can say for most of the seventh-year boys.

It is then that Bellatrix realises she has effectively been ogling Tom Riddle, who stares back at her impassively. How she hates that impassive, cold stare, made even worse by the innocent sloe-eyes. 

“Nothing to say?”

He shakes his head slowly and deliberately, and then breezes past her without a word. Bellatrix turns on her heel as she watches his retreating back, her blood boiling. 

She will make him break. She knows how to push everyone’s buttons (but not his, apparently). She will make him snap, like when he duelled Abraxas in their common room in the fourth year, his glorious rage and (though she loathes to admit it) sheer power intrigued Bellatrix, and, by Morgana, she will see Tom Riddle’s composure break again, and she will be the cause and witness.

Yes, she thinks, as she enters the Great Hall. She will push Tom Riddle, that hateful, dirty Mudblood, right to the edge, and find the true source of his mysterious power, that he definitely shouldn’t have.

[anaalnathrakhs]

Yay!! Your doing ship bingo!! Love it when you do asks!! Vinikki, Tommyvince and terrorcest and to spice it up how about a rare pair John corabi and Mick (don't think they have a ship name) :D

yeah don't worry i love subjecting people to my rants. will never stop. thank you for asking you brave soul.

VINIKKI

Reverse-colored evil star, they are the opposite of silly. They're constantly in the divorce proceedings. Every night they divorce and every morning they get back together. They CAN fix each other but CERTAINLY not by kissing. Cmon guys you can be reasonable I believe in you. I'm not as much of a fan as sooooome people in this fandom but I think they have a fascinating dynamic and I love writing their interpreations even though I've rarely written one myself.

TOMMYVINCE

...cannot be encapsulated by this bingo. They're so casual it hurts. So bestie bros it hurts. They'll never divorce because they were never married, but that FWB arrangement includes cuddles and will last until the end of times.

TERRORCEST

DOUBLE BINGO DING DING DING. They can fix each other, but that doesn't mean better for other people around them. In the same band for over forty years that's more marriage than a lot of people who actually went and tied the knot legally. Perfect dynamic, unhealthy 100% functional and arriving rapidly at your location. The only ship Tommy manages (almost) not to make So Silly :3 because of its radioactive levels of serious doomed love toxicity. His constant no-homo on instagram have moved from silliness to straight up a little sad. I'm obssessed w them.

JOHN CORABI/MICK

I'm not gonna lie I know very little about Corabi as a person. This is just an educated guess based on... not much? A couple photos and some social media posts in the past decade or so. Anyway.

I think Mick would get a kick out of being weird and mysterious towards the new guy for a while to confuse him. So that's a REALLY silly thing to base a relationship upon. But I don't know, I think it could work if it happened, they both seem calm and reasonable enough to make anything work. If anything, the divorce would be amicable. Motley crue is a wonderful dynamic that crushes the chosen four and probably isn't very fun for the others either, so I don't think kissing would fix them in the long run, but I think they could have a nice few years of being a nice calming presence in each other's lives. Secret under wraps of course, but they're much more friendly on the outside due to... not having over a decade of baggage at that point.

I have no idea what I'm saying at this point. Hope this makes a modicum of sense lmao

[libra-stellium]

Rant about people during the pandemic

I’ve always been a person who hosts game nights or holiday themed events and I do it in my one bedroom apartment lol but the last one I hosted was a New Year’s party in 2019 going into 2020 and every time I thought to host after that I wasn’t in the mood really or my friends were spread out all over and there’s always the looming anxiety that someone is gonna show up sick.

I finally hosted again last night a Grinch Game Night so that everyone could see my Whoville decorations up close and someone did show up sick 😀 I’m crossing my fingers that what she had was just a regular cold 😀

She didn’t say anything ahead of time and she had already been there for so long before she started talking about how on Christmas she did go with her bf to visit his parents and I already knew that his parents were sick with Covid so I’m sure I made a face bc why did y’all go?? Okay it’s Christmas but they have Covid it’s okay to NOT GO INTO THEIR HOUSE AND SIT WITH THEM! She was like oh yeah they were all masked up okay whatever and then later goes on to say how her bf is staying with her rn and she went to go sleep in her guest room bc he’s so congested 😀😀 and each night he comes to find her anyway 😀 like y’all went to see his parents and now he’s congested 😀😀 and you’re in the same house with him and you came to mine ??? 😀 WHY? And she even tried to bring him asking me if my game night was co Ed and I was like no bc I don’t have any guys friends lol but she would’ve brought his congested ass to the game night ??? And she coughed a few times and drank water so I thought it was just idek 😩 a dry throat or something

I had my windows open and my HEPA air purifier going so I’m hoping that was enough and I lysoled everything as soon as she left. It’s just like 😩 why are people like this?? This wasn’t going to be the game night of the century it’s okay to say you’re not feeling well and stay home! I literally haven’t gone anywhere while I was feeling any kind of symptoms and it’s not hard at all! Don’t even think anyone remembers smh and then it puts me in the horrible position of having to be a bitch about it bc what was I supposed to even do in that situation? Slap a mask on her and kick her out? Probably 😭 I literally don’t know how I would do that.

I’m also the only one of not just my friends but family and people I know that still wears a mask to places and they tell me stories of sick people around them and sick coworkers coming into the office and how they “hope” they don’t catch anything but it’s like …just wear the mask and you won’t catch anything 🙄

A couple weeks ago my aunt was telling me how sick she felt on Wednesday and how she felt sick on Monday and Tuesday and she had showed up unmasked to my apt Sunday to have coffee with me and I’m like 😩😩 BROOO and she kept saying how “it’s the AC at work that is making her cough” I tell her that’s not a thing and tell her to take a Covid test she’s like oh she doesn’t have any….so I had to bring her tests and then she was like I HAVE to stay with her to take it bc she doesn’t know how to do it and I was wearing my N95 bc I know her and that positive line was so dark so fast smh and she still had the audacity to say “the AC activated the Covid on me” like wtf are you even talking about?? 🙄 meanwhile she works in a doctors office wearing those thin blue masks that she claims suffocate her and idek if she wears them all day for real or if she just says that to me bc she knows how I feel about masks and then she went unmasked to Christmas caroling at her church and it’s now two weeks later and she’s still feeling sick and testing positive (she’s also unvaxed and thinks saying in Jesus name is enough 🙄) and she has to go get groceries so I tell her to wear a real mask and not that useless ass blue one and she goes I don’t have any masks 🙄 of course you don’t it’s been 3 years of her taking a handful of my masks bc she refuses to get her own and she finally bought some KF94s and some N95s but why did it take you getting Covid and seeing that it’s not a joke to buy your own masks?? idek I’m just so turned off by everyone.

And by no means am I like a perfect mask wearer like I still go out to restaurants and clubs but I don’t go to the bigger ones anymore and I use my nasal spray for the time that I’m there and that’s been working for me so far. Sometimes I forget to put one on in the Uber but most times I have mine on the driver puts theirs on too so that’s nice. And I was traveling earlier this month and sooooo many people were coughing ugly coughs unmasked echoing each other and had the nerve to look at me weird for wearing a mask like they’re not a walking test tube of illnesses 🥴

I just don’t understand what the problem is like is it denial?? Delusion?? Fear?? None of it makes any sense to me bc if you’re afraid why not take precautions? If you’re gonna feel embarrassed and keep your sickness a secret why not take precautions? Also why claim that your Covid symptoms are these random ass illnesses instead of just taking a test and finding out? The entire 3 years only one person recently has been sick and thought it was Covid and it was actually bronchitis. Everyone else I know that’s been sick over the 3 years has been sick with Covid. One person I know refused to take a test bc they were sure it wasn’t Covid even after listing all the symptoms and was like “actually it’s just a summer flu” mmmm I doubt it bc you just came back from a work conference 🙄 I even have a friend who works at a daycare and no one masks and they are sick at least once a month bc they catch whatever random virus these kids are carrying that week and they act like that’s just life and there’s nothing they can do about it smh

I guess I’m just tired of being the only one.

[abucketofweird]

I just want to shout out autistic joy for a minute!

(This is a massive RANT about my shit day) TW: period blood mentions, period stuff in general, also a really bad day

Today has been the day from hell for me today. From no sleep, to me realizing I missed my bc pill because I stayed having my super heavy period. But as someone who never has a period* I moved into my dorm a week ago and did not bring any period products with me. So I sat through my entire day running back and forth to my dorm to change out my bounty kitchen paper towels that did nothing. One of said classes was Attic Greek. In our third class I spent most of it blinking back tears of anxiety from how much I am NOT getting it. (Like alphabet and all is a struggle and it’s very fast paced). Then my friend and I were excited that our dining hall finally had pizza but they had just closed the station when we got there (I could do a whole post about my college*) then I go to let my friend scan my textbook bc I’m not going to make her buy it for the same class. But it was an hour of figuring out the yearly new printing system. And then I went to Walmart to get my shit but I got lost and did an illegal turn that got me pulled over for the first time ever. (Thank god I’m a little white girl I can’t imagine how scary it is to not be white and pulled over). Then I’m walking through Walmart with tears on my face and a massive thing of pads and chocolate in my hands.

But as soon as I got to take a breather for the night and I got on tumblr I was instantly feeling better! As a person in the Star Wars (specifically Ahsoka & rebels) fandom I was able to just get so much joy out of the posts I see here.

If this makes no sense I’m sorry but I’m exhausted and I’ve tried to write this so many times but I just love the fact that my day can be significantly brightened by my special interest.

Anyways sorry for whatever this is.

*The pill I take does not have the sugar pill week. It just doesn’t give me periods (AMAZING!!) (it is less effective but I’m aroace so I just take it bc periods are an inconvenience) I only get my period if I really fuck up they cycle which I must have today

*we have a very serious bat problem in all of the dorms (over 30 bites last year), the brand new dining hall is a disaster on every level (it’s common for students to be diagnosed with ed’s because of how little is available health wise), the obvious campus giving out too many parking passes issue, elevators being out of order for so long that disabled students just don’t have access to classrooms

[sweetmusingss]

Katie nodded when hearing what Lando said. "Yeah, maybe..," she said, knowing she would like to know more and get a feel for if there was something seriously brewing between you and Oscar. Sometimes she tried to set you up with people a little too hard but it seemed like you and Oscar were forming a connection naturally. She knew that Max probably didn't approve since the plan had been to double date with you and Charles. But she wanted you to follow your heart. The only thing in the way was Oscar's girlfriend but she didn't seem to be around much at all.

Oscar didn't know what to say about Sophie coming after you because he wasn't sure if she would even care. He didn't really want to tell her this but if he did, he felt like she would just use it against him but not actually be jealous about it? She seemed to be so detached lately and he knew it would just end up hurting his feelings to have his suspicions confirmed. His eyes immediately went to your legs again before he looked back into your eyes, swallowing thickly. "Yeah.. of course," he said, running a hand through his hair as he sat up properly. "I should probably get up and make us some breakfast anyways," he chuckled nervously. "It was fun though," he said honestly, grateful to spend that time with you. He hadn't really stepped out of his own personal bubble in a while and it was nice to just forget about his career stress and his relationship woes last night and just be with you.

“Oh right, you’re the new self proclaimed chef of the yacht. I’m sure no one else is even awake yet, so I’m sure you’ll have time to work your magic.” I tried to ignore the way he said ‘for us’, knowing he meant for the yacht as a whole and not just for me and him but a girl could dream. “Anytime you wanna watch a movie just to rip it apart, you’ve got my number. I’m always down.” I smile at him before walking over to the door and opening it, throwing him a sweet smile over my shoulder before stepping out into the hallway, closing the door behind me. I don’t even realize that I forgot my fuzzy blanket as I make my way down the hall to Lando’s room, a bit surprised to find it empty before laying back on the bed and taking a deep breath, trying to figure out what the hell I was getting myself into. I needed to get over this crush, I needed to dedicate my time to Charles. I had to let Oscar go.

__

I smile when hearing what you said to me, loving how you were so romantic and your words just about making me weak in the knees. "I feel the same way about you, my love," I say to you. Lily eventually took Hayden when he started to get a little sleepy and I took that opportunity to wrap my arms around your neck, swaying to the music with you. "It was fun being on the stage for a moment but I don't know if I could do another huge tour. It was amazing but I know it probably can't ever be topped. And I don't want to be away from you for so long," I run my fingers through your hair.

“I think you’d be letting down like more than half the population if you didn’t do another tour. You could always spread it out… don’t do as many cities or countries at a time. Most of my races are biweekly… do a bunch of cities in the span of two weeks then come to whatever race I’m doing, then go back on the road. If we can get me a sim, I can travel with you sometimes too. I don’t want you to put your career on hold for me, baby…” Max knew he would say that he’d do the same for you, put his career on the back burner, but he contractually couldn’t. He would never want you to stop your life for him because he wouldn’t be able to do the same without paying for it… literally. “You’d also be letting Lando down. He has been ranting and raving to all the drivers about how he’s getting VIP for your next tour.”

[timeoverload]

This week was pretty bad. I have been up to my eyeballs in work. The busy season is starting, although it never really ended for me. I am always busy. Nothing that exciting has happened.

Today sucked so much. I had 31 cases and it was a shit show. The girl that helps me sometimes on Thursdays wasn't there so I did everything on my own. I was so hangry this morning and I really wanted breakfast. I told the morning team lead that I was hungry but he refused to help me. He was already in decontam and he was training the new guy. The new guy already knows how to do most things by himself so I don't know why the morning team lead had to stand there and micromanage everything he was doing. I don't know why he couldn't take 10 minutes to wash pans while he was already back there. I don't know why I wasted my time training him when he rarely helps me with anything. I helped him with priorities before my cases started but I guess that doesn't matter. I tell him I'm stressed and he doesn't care. I got frustrated around 9:15 and I just went and got food. I didn't care if I got behind at that point. I got back and I had 6 pans piled up. I was only gone for 10 minutes. The morning team lead decided to stay in decontam all morning and he took another person's shift. I think it's because he didn't want to train anymore, even though that's his job. He pushed off that responsibility on to other people who aren't certified or preceptors. They aren't getting paid to do that so it made me mad that he did that to them. He also wouldn't shut up or stop ranting about how he thinks the techs are morons. He is just so fucking mean to people for stupid reasons. I had to be stuck in the same room with him from 7am to 11:30. It's torture.

One of the doctors bought us lunch today. We got pizza which was cool. I was a little confused because they didn't ask us what kind we wanted. I wasn't thrilled about the options because I didn't like any of them. I don't want to sound ungrateful because I did appreciate them getting us food. I still had some anyway and it wasn't bad. I had to pick off the mushrooms. I guess I am picky and it's frustrating. I don't want to be like that. I have problems with certain textures and flavors. I am just glad I ate a lot today because I don't think I would have made it otherwise.

I didn't take a full lunch break because I had so much shit to do. The afternoon was very chaotic for everyone. The doctor that was working this morning started a specialty case at 11am and didn't get it done until 2pm. That is unusual for him because he's so fast most of the time. It did not go well and there were a lot of problems. It looked really bad so I really hope it was successful. They used so much stuff for that so I got even more behind. I didn't think I was going to get off on time since the doctor working in the afternoon had 8 cases and the last one was a specialty case. He does that every Thursday now and it drives me nuts because he takes forever. He uses so much stuff. I was happy that he got done at 4:30. I didn't get out of there until 5:15 but I guess it could have been worse.

I am glad I am home. I am so tired. It has been a long week. I think the only good thing that happened was that my dad was able to fix my car last night. It needed a new battery. I appreciate that he helps me with stuff like that.

I am still depressed, but I feel better than I did this morning. I know things will get better eventually. I don't want to keep saying that because I want it now. I'm going to try my best to be in a good mood this weekend.

I hope everyone else has a good weekend too. 💖💖💖

Maxwell, I'm not sure what you mean when you say you can't imagine a future with you in it. I know you will be in my future. I have had many visions and dreams over the years. I have had what I describe as "prophetic" dreams about you and a lot of them have come true already. I knew I was going to meet you since I was little. I don't know how to describe that but I remember it well. When I met you, I felt different than how I feel when I meet other people. I felt like I already knew you before. It was shocking. There is something supernatural about our connection. My dreams and visions have helped me navigate through this experience. I already know we are going to get married and have a family. I've seen us walking on the beach and in the mountains together. I have dreamed about holding your hand. I have seen you smiling and happy. I know it is going to happen. I'm not sure how but I know it will. I know this is real. I think that's what is keeping me going. I will continue to stay hopeful. I promise that everything is going to be ok. I don't want you to give up. I know you will be successful and overcome what you are going through. I am here for you whenever you are ready to talk. I love you.

💖💖💖

[ghoulfr13nd]

hi!! op i care you too 🥺🥺 im making us a friendship bracelet as we speak it shall have a ton of music notes!! 🎶 fgsdjk

aspect playlists are really so much fun! it combines classpect analysis and music! the best of two worlds! :D me and my friend made a shared playlist for every aspect and that was a blast! (and as it turns out we have the most music in rage aspect even though neither of us are rage we just listen to rage-y vibes a lot fsdgh) also pls tell me what's your classpect i need to know! 👀

omg im glad you had fun but also so sorry for the parking incident (honestly, felt that, i scraped my car in front of others too i know how you feel ;v; i shake ur hand in solidarity 🤝) and ooooh! hope you also had fun on other concerts too seems like you did! and you know? i actually havent considered earplugs! maybe it'd be good to test it, especially since in 2025 Billie Ellish will be on the tour and will visit my country (where a chance like that doesn't happen often! :O )

oh my god excuse me while i let myself to go on a little longer rant here gfjksdfh you mentioned Matt and Kim being a required listen to know you, and well, if i'd have to point to any band that would be the same for me Rammstein would probably be the one, it has so many memories attached to it and it's Up There in my fave bands ranking! fgsdjf for recommendations though: Links 2 3 4, Sonne , Amerika, Moskau and Rosenrot are my absolute faves! :D (<- i'm holding myself from recommending like 20 songs here fgdjfksa) oh also! Rammstein is a german band so if you'd be curious about their lyrics there are probably translations somewhere! of course it's not necessary to enjoy their music but i think they're totally worth looking into in free time, they add a lot, i love their lyrics! gdfjsdf (i mean Equilibrium is german too but honestly i listen to them mostly for the vibes and they also sing in english so- shrug fgdfsd) speaking of! for Equilibrium I'd reccomend Met, Karawane and Tornado! :D pls let me know what you'll think im curious!

have a good day/night!

music anon 🎶

alright music anon 🎶 the wait is over — thank you for being patient!!

i haven’t made any of my own aspect playlists in the time since we spoke last but i’m keeping it on my to-do list!! i would love to hear some of the songs you chose for yours, and i’ve had a great idea that i’ll circle back around to!

i LOVE talking classpects though! i put a lot of effort into choosing mine back in the day, and identified as Witch of Void for a long time. however, I wasn’t sure if I identified with that anymore, so I wanted to re-take the quiz before I answered you. I got Maid of Breath or Maid of Light this time, and both seem very fitting, but I’m not sure how strongly I feel about either.

(If you’re curious — for YEARS I have sworn by this quiz combined with this classpect analysis. I ignore the non-canon classpects on the quiz, though, personally. If I went by that, I’d be a Star of Blaze, which sounds pretty cool but I don’t know what any of that means, so…)

Also you MUST tell me your’s!!!! I at one point made all of my friends, including the non-homestuck ones, to figure out their classpects, I am so serious about it. its my favorite personality test that I am perhaps a little intense about. uh. anyway.

SHAKING YOUR HAND IN SOLIDARITY YOU GET ME !!!!!!!!!!!! this is also re: your other ask but i love that we are both bpd scratched-car twins. what a pair, us.

I HOPE YOU GET TO GO SEE BILLIE!!!! And that it isn’t overwhelming for you! For me, seeing artists I love, live, is a very personal thing. Being able to sing and cheer and dance with the rest of the crowd is a spiritual thing for me. Especially if it’s one of my gender-playlist artists! I’m only half-joking when I say I think I just need to see every band on it live and then I’ll finally evolve into my final form.

And on that note, that brings us to your required listening. Music anon, I have taken this so seriously. I’m holding these songs in my hands. I want to do right by you.

So. First impressions. I have to admit to you, anon, German is so foreign to me that I could not help but find it a little silly at first. That being said, the longer I listen to it, the more I ease into the sounds. I did this initial listen-through at work, when I first got your ask (which I received a full 23 hours after you sent it! I checked!). The sounds are fun!

However, I didn’t want this to be the entirety of my experience with them. Which comes to the part that took me so long to get around to — looking up the translated lyrics, and re-listening to all the songs with a little more context. This was an important step to me! I want to understand what you love about them!

My favorites from Rammstein were Links 2 3 4 and Sonne, and Karawane was my favorite from Equilibrium. Links 2 3 4 was the first one I listened to and the one I thought “german sounds so strange” about, but I really enjoyed it my second go around!!

Do you have any particular thoughts about the songs you chose? I’d love to hear what you’re thinkin!

Also, to circle back around to the idea I had — I know you were hesitant about sharing actual playlists with me, but how about sending me lists of the songs and letting me put the playlist together myself? I actually already started one with the songs you recommended!! Let me know what you think, and don’t be afraid to tell me no if you’re not into it.

I hope you have a very good day/night as well, anon!!

[thearchivistsjournal]

Day 274,

Morning thought: If Cass handles late nights anything like I do, I worry the thing that will give her away is being tired the next morning.  Good thing I impressed on her that she needs to stop sneaking out at night.  Okay, “impressed on her” might be optimistic, but if I can talk James into letting her resume her apprenticeship when classes start next week then she shouldn’t have a reason to.

*******

Just finished talking with James.  Looks like we should be good to go when school starts back up.  To my surprise, James both admitted to the current keeping her at home as being a punishment and to feeling guilty about dragging it on so long.  The subject of whether or not I was a bad influence was avoided.  In that same spirit of burying disagreement and moving on, I’ll refrain from too much of a rant here on my personal opinions of his decisions.

So, good for Cass being able to resume training for an occupation contributing to the Village (although I half suspect that James is low-key hoping she’ll get bored with this and find something else), and good for me for having an assistant again.  I’ve been afraid to admit it, but I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle a schoolroom full of children again without help.  I mean, sure, the past archivists probably did it just fine, as did teachers in the world of my past life, but I know where my strengths and weaknesses lie by now.

Shifting focus from the future to the past, as I mentioned earlier, Cass did in fact show up last night.  She was pretty proud of the work she’d done with the syllabic breakdown on the cathedral chant, and rightly so.  Sadly, my counterpart “homework” of word length analysis of Iole’s book was not nearly so complete nor thorough for us to run a comparison.  I’ll try to do more of that over the next few days.

That said, it made for a convenient excuse to do a test run of the story for the equinox.  Not that I needed an excuse or justification, but having one makes me feel better.  At any rate, Cass was less disappointed by the change in plans than I feared.  If anything, she seemed eager, although whether that was eager to hear the story or eager to pick it apart for (constructive) criticism I’m not sure.

And there were certainly very fair criticisms to be had.  As I feared, some parts didn’t translate well from written to spoken, particularly the back and forth dialogues between the princess and the sword.  And while that issue in particular might be alleviated by having a secondary teller like Cass and I have experimented with in the past, if James isn’t expecting her to see me again until the Equinox, that doesn’t work out so well.  And then there’s an argument to be made that a single teller doing both parts is more appropriate thematically anyway.  

Of course, there were other issues to be addressed as well.  Structure, pacing, clear conveyance of theme, etc.  We spent what time we had discussing all of it and I’ve got notes in my other notebook for it.  I'll be taking that feedback into account when I do my next test run with Vernon this evening.  Speaking of which, I should probably wrap this up so I can get some actual work done before then.  And maybe tidy up a bit.  He’ll be coming over here and I’ll be the one providing dinner for once.  Not that I have anything to cook with, but most of the food I get in payment for archival services either doesn’t need it or is cooked already.

*******

That went well.  He liked it, which is nice.  Actually had to push a bit to get any criticism (constructive or otherwise) out of him.  I think I’m going to be up for a while longer yet, writing down some more notes on what we talked about (in the work notebook).

<==Previous          Next==>

[marsgod]

Hello again! I’m the person who requested ‘Reader Overblots’ and I’m here to request something that is also blot-related.

May I request Riddle, Azul and Jamil who severely injured their S/O during their overblot and only find out about it after accidentally bumping into their injury either in class or on one of their dates :DD

Love your writing! I hope you’re having a good day or night!!

omg… i love this a lot<3

Also!! Tysm!! I’m having a lovely day so far, and to you as well~!

*＊✿❀【Ｈｕｒｔ　Ｄｕｒｉｎｇ　Ｔｈｅｉｒ　Ｏｖｅｒｂｌｏｔ】❀✿＊*

| Info you need! v

Riddle, Azul, + Jamil finding out they hurt their s/o during their Overblot!

Warnings; Reader Injury,

i’m trying to practice writing scenes so just skip to the “keep reading” thing after if you don’t want to read it:)

Your love and yourself are walking around, being tasked with getting some more ingredients for an upcoming party.

You nodded along to his quiet ranting, something about food, you couldn’t bring yourself to remember more than little snippets of what he was saying.

It’s been a week since his overblot, but your foot hasn’t felt any better, on account of you wanting to be there for your boyfriend and not “Taking it easy”. You had managed to escape the worst case “Maximum Damage”, but not without a close call or two, where you ended up scraping your hands and with a sprained ankle after launching yourself out of the way and tripping over your feet over one of this attacks.

“-And then they had the audacity to tell me, “It’s the same thing.” Can you believe that?” They, who was in front of you, turned around to get your input, only to stop confusedly, “Are you okay, [Name]? You look like you’re going to keel over.”

Having saw you were limping before, having brushed it off with a reminder to put your foot up when you told him that it was from Mr. Vargas’s training.

There was, in fact, no Vargas Training, only neglect for your own health.

Anyways, after you do actually keel over on the ground, He rushes to your side in a mix of panic and confusion. He ends up cast a levitation spell on you and leads you to the Infirmary but your hand to keep you near.

Once there, and explaining that they didn’t tell him what was wrong besides previous training with Mr. Vargas.

Later, after going to sit in the waiting room, is told that you needed to rest for the day and that he was dismissed if he wasn’t injured himself.

AZUL is clearly worried, he keeps smiling but it’s clearly saying “God please help me, if you even sound a bit angry even if its not at me then I’m going to have a nervous breakdown and I’m sorry-“

…Yeah, He’s still got sum issues, this is before he finds out “Oh shit this is actually my fault”

When he does find out though! he’s muttering apologies and bringing small peace offerings (cut up fruit and chocolate) even if you say that he doesn’t need to bring them to you.

He apologizes but is also confused on why the hell you went a fucking week on your injured leg, and thinks that you didn’t tell him cause you didn’t trust him which makes him feel worse

After learning you just wanted to be with him through his “recovery period”… Yeah, good luck w that because he keeps you in bed for however long your recovery period lasts so ha

JAMIL isn’t clearly worried, he practiced his rbf for years you ain’t seeing anything “clearly”

He asks the basic questions If you’re okay, do you need anything, what happened-

Oh? It was from his overblot incident from a week ago?… and, you thought you could power through it because you wanted to be with him?

He stares at you, unblinking, in silence until he finally opens his mouth and calls you dumb

and that he loves you, but god you’re so dumb

He feels bad ofc, and apologizes for it but also why would you do that? and keep it a secret?

Jamil won’t be able to keep you company a lot… Is what Jamil and you both think until Kalim learns you’re injured and floods your house with flowers and claims they’re going to stay with you to be at your beck and call.

Jamil is partially okay with it, but also “Kalim please they need to actually rest.”

Anyways, Kalim is the one that.. supports you and gets whatever Jamil tells him to and Jamil actually does the cooking, etc.

Amazing, house husband<333

RIDDLE feels so horrible and won’t leave you’re side, and is also more irritable than normal because he’s mad that he believed such a foolish lie

He doesn’t know exactly what to do but he does buy some if those herbal tea’s for you to drink and sorta relax with

After learning it was, indeed, his fault, he does also feel horrible but has a hard time with it so he just puts his head on your should and apologizes

Trey helps check up on you, and cooks because Riddle will badger you if you try to get up

the type to tie you in a bunch of blankets before he leaves to ensure nothing happens

Riddle won’t leave his dorm, but if he’s not in actual classes (with no other tasks) then he’s at your dorm, helping you with whatever until you tell him you’re okay or you fall asleep.

Riddle, at some point, probably fall asleep while in your bed but you don’t have the heart to wake him up (plus he’s a fucking heater) and yeah<333

[unoriginalmess]

Untitled Feralnette Fic Ch. 1

Hiya there anyone who happens upon this first chapter of this fic. I would like to start out by saying that this is my first fanfic ever. I've been wanting to write a fic for the miraculous fandom for a while but I haven't had any inspiration until I stumbled upon this glorious AU created by @bigfatbreak. I highly suggest checking out all of their posts about this au because they are hilarious and genius and about 100 other amazing adjectives that could be used to describe them and their posts. Anyways enough with my rant and let's get on with the fic. ⚠️Slight angst⚠️ ⚠️Swearing⚠️

--------

When Marinette got home after her and Luka's breakup, all she could do was cry. She wanted to be with him, but her Ladybug duties came first. If lying is a deal breaker for him, then maybe it was best that they ended it now while their relationship was still in its early stages. Still, she couldn't help but feel the loss of her first relationship. She ended up crying for a whole entire day. She just hoped that Hawkmoth(or Shadowmoth or whatever the fuck he wanted to be referred to as this week) wasn't feeling particularly akuma-y today, because she didn't know if she could bottle up all these feelings, even though the world is relying on her ability to do so.

Ugggghhh!! It has been exhausting having to be "happy and perfect Marinette" and "happy and perfect Ladybug" All. The. Time. She's also pretty sure that Hawkmoth had discovered the similarities in her personality as Marinette to Ladybug, and that's why she's been targeted by multiple akumas lately. She has had to have her emotions under control even more than usual. If only there was a way to get Hawkmoth to stop targeting her. Maybe she should just not give a fuck anymore. Haha as if! It couldn't be that easy! Could it?

The more she thinks about it the more it starts to make sense. If she just let herself go completely crazy as Marinette, she would be killing like 10 birds with one stone. She would get hawkmoth off of her trail, she wouldn't have to deal with having to hide her emotions all of the time, she wouldn't have to deal with the added stress of maintaining her perfect persona, she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of Lila's lies taking her friends away if she didn't have friends in the first place, and so much more stress would be taken off of her plate! It was perfect! It might hurt a little at first, but it's for the best in the end. She spent that night planning out her outfit for tomorrow, doing her homework, and going to sleep knowing that, in the morning, François Dupont isn't gonna know what hit them.

....

Adrien Agreste had been having a rough week. He had been abandoned on patrol by ladybug, been broken up with by his girlfriend, and was feeling completely and utterly alone. He knows that his lady has been feeling overwhelmed by her guardian duties lately, and that he 100% deserved that verbal lasting that kagami had given him but he couldn't help but feel this way. He was also feeling guilty about lying to kagami and leading her on for so long. After she broke up with him he took some time to assess his feelings for her and realized that he had more of an admiration for her than an infatuation. He definitely didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She told him that she LOVED HIM, and he was so distracted (blinded) by ladybug that he didn't even process her confession. So, he was looking forward to Sunday morning. He cleared his schedule and on that beautiful Sunday morning, he did what he is only allowed to do on very rare occasions: sleep in. Or at least... thats what he had planned on doing.

When Nathalie had knocked on his door that morning Adrien was not in a good mood. He vaguely heard her say something about father wanting him downstairs in some amount of time for something involving a business partners child and some other robotic sounding words that his half asleep brain couldn't process completely.

"I have a cleared schedule this morning, Nathalie. What could father possibly want me for that is more important than my precious sleep?" He asked snappily.

"Your father wants you downstairs to welcome the new guest that will be living in the house for the rest of the school year. You have 15 minutes to make yourself look presentable and I suggest leaving the attitude upstairs," she half informed/half reprimanded him. As she walked away, Adrien reluctantly rose from his nice warm bed and went to go get ready with only one thought racing through his mind: Who could possibly be staying with them?

....

Felix Culpa was not looking forward to living at the Agreste mansion for the rest of the school year, but for their parents' sake they would do what they had to. It wasn't all for their parents either, they were also concerned about the strange "dissapearance" of Emilie (who was his aunt in all ways except blood relation) and about the treatment of Adrien since said "disappearance".

You see, Felix Culpa is the heir to the Culpa Fabric Empire. The Culpas have been the sole fabric supplier of the Agreste brand since the very beginning. Felix's mom Diana was best friends with Emilie since their college days. Diana and Emilie made the deal with the two brands because as best friends who are both involved in the same industry, it just made sense to have a business relationship with each other. Diana never really cared for Gabriel as a person, but she could tell that he loved Emilie more than anyone else in the world so she could tolerate him for the sake of her best friend.

When Emilie went missing, Diana was absolutely devastated and tried anything she could to find her. She invested in missing person ads as large as billboards, organized search teams, tried to aid the police in their search for her in any way she could, but there was no leads, no legitimate calls to the number on the billboards, and the search team came up empty handed. While she was doing all of this to try to find her, she couldn't help but be furious over the fact that Gabriel was doing nothing to help in the search. All he did was hole himself up in his oversized mansion and call it a day.

The last straw for Diana was when Gabriel tried to use the "grieving my wife" excuse to try to abuse their business arrangement. That day, she told him that the Culpa brand would no longer be associated with the Agreste brand and that after the new collection is released, he would need to find a new fabric supplier. She knew that the Agreste brand would take a huge hit from having sub-par fabric, but she never thought that Gabriel would try to make up for that fact by using Adrien as a walking mannequin and locking him up in the desolate prison that he calls a home. As soon as she realized that he was doing this she scrambled to find a solution.

That is how Felix ended up here, standing in front of the mansion they would be living in for the next 9 months in exchange for Gabriel getting back into the Culpa brand's good graces. Don't get them wrong, they were excited about being able to be in Paris, home of the most innovative fashion pieces in the world, and about being able to see their honorary cousin Adrien (who wasn't half bad to be around despite him having no backbone whatsoever when it came to anything involving his father) but dealing with Mr. Agreste was definitely one of the low points of this arrangement.

They decided to just get it over with and knocked on the door. It was opened by the man that their cousin affectionately referred to as Gorilla. They nodded a thank you to the man, remembering that he was a man of few words, and proceeded to the bottom of the staircase. Mr. Agreste stood at the top with a very tired looking Adrien a few steps down. Felix wasn't even slightly surprised that this is where he chooses to welcome his guests, looking down on people must give him some sort of power trip or something. It's almost as if he heard the phrase "It's over, Anakin, I have the high ground," and made that his own personal motto. Whatever, let him have the feeling of false power if he wanted it, Felix knows that they have all the power in this situation and they're sure that Gabriel knows it as well.

"Hello Felix," Mr. Agreste greeted them with the same amount of warmth in his voice as liquid nitrogen, "while you are staying in this house you will abide by my rules. Adrien will inform you of them and show you to your room. You will attend school with him in the morning and I'm sure that you already know that you must represent not only the Culpa brand, but also the Agreste as well. I will be in my office working, do not disturb me. Contact Nathalie with any questions that cannot be answered by Adrien." He finished his spiel and left to what Felix assumed was his office space.

"Hello Felix!" Adrien greeted him with as much enthusiasm as he could muster in his sleepy state. "Come with me and I'll show you to your room."

Adrien led Felix to their room and listed all of the rules of the household that they were expected to follow. And... wow. Felix could not believe that their cousin had to live like this. The only social interaction this kid gets is at school and fencing? Pre-approved outings only with people determined socially acceptable by Gabriel? And if he gets even one "B" he isn't even going to be allowed to go to school at all? Felix knew that the living situation was bad for Adrien but know the only question running through their head was: What did they get themselves into??

--------

And... thats it for chapter 1! Mostly background info at this point, but next chapter will be the class' reaction to feralnette and felinette meeting for the first time. I just want to say thanks again to @bigfatbreak for giving me the inspiration to write a fic for the first time ever. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, I'm always looking to improve, especially at writing since this is my first time posting anything I've written online, so I want to get better so that I can make better content for you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know and I'll make a tag list for ya. :)

[folklorelise]

Captain’s girlfriend taking care of the kids

PART 1: here

 - Eren when his experiments fail

When you found out that Eren was a titan, you and Hange would talk about non-stop which would drive Levi crazy.

”Erwin agreed to my experiments!” Hange informed you one morning, really excited.

”Can I come please?”

”Levi’s the boss, gotta ask him.”

”He’ll say yes!” you cheered.

Hange brought you to the old survey corps headquarters which was where the experiments would take place. It was also where Levi’s squad where.

”Leviii!” you yelled happily.

”No.” Levi stated once you were beside him.

”What do you mean ‘no’?”

”I meant no you’re not supposed to be here. How did you even know about Eren?”

”Hange told me because I am their best friend! Please let me stay.” you begged him. To your luck, Levi loved you, so he agreed to it. ”But you stay behind me, I don’t want that titan touching you.”

You greeted Eren just before he went into the pit.

”Eren, you got this!”

”Thank you Y/N.” Eren answered nervously. ”You are going to be there?”

”Yes, I’ll there the whole time so don’t worry about it.”

But during the experiment Eren just couldn’t transform, no matter how hard he tried to bit his hand over and over again.

”We should stop, he’s obviously hurt.” you protested.

”It’s Hange call.” Levi explained while taking you far from Eren in case he would transform.

”Y/N! Come back please, Eren’s hands aren’t healing either.” Hange screamed.

You ran to Eren and started to put alcohol on his hand and bandage everything.

”Are you feeling alright Eren?” you asked.

”Why can’t I transform?”

But before you could say anything, Hange took Eren. Levi walked to you and took your hand in his.

”Don’t worry about him. He’s going to be fine, he’s a titan.”

”Yeah...”

That night, you brought Eren his food.

”I’m not really hungry.” Eren assured.

”You have to eat, you didn’t eat anything at lunch too so you have to now.” you said putting his tray on his bed. ”Don’t force me to feed you like I did with Jean.”

”Fine.” he laughed.

”It’s alright if you didn’t transform today.”

”I disappointed everyone! Squad leader Hange had so much faith in me and I did nothing.”

”Eren, honestly, it’s fine because you don’t know how this works. Trust me, you’re doing great.” you smiled.

”Y/N...”

”Yes?”

”I heard something earlier. Something about the Captain.”

”Oh? What about the Captain?”

”Hange said that the Captain and you are... you know.” Eren ranted.

Except for the squad leaders and the commander, no one knew Levi was in a relationship with you. You did not hide it but wouldn’t scream it on top of every roof either.

”No actually, I don’t.” you hesitated.

”Captain Levi and you are... intimate with each other.” Eren whispered the last part.

”Yeager!” Levi yelled from outside the cell startling both Eren and you.

”Captain Levi!” Eren saluted him, spilling his soup on his bed.

”Clean that mess. Y/N, Hange is asking for you.” Levi waited for you to leave before talking to Eren, ”I didn’t know you were into gossip.”

”I’m not sir, Captain, sir. I apologise!”

Levi did not say another word and left Eren alone so he could find you.

”Hange didn’t need me.” you said once Levi entered his bedroom. ”What did you say to Eren?”

”Nothing.”

”Riight. Anyway, let’s sleep because there’s nothing else we can do.”

”I can think of one thing we can do.” Levi whispered next to your ear.

 —————

 - Armin after he killed a guy to save Jean

You were fighting alongside with Levi against Kenny and his soldiers.

”I can take care of this Y/N, go back to the kids.” Levi ordered.

”I’m helping!”

When you went back to the cadets, you spotted Jean corned by one of Kenny’s pawn. You were ready to shoot the person, but a gun was fired before you could. You thought for a second that Jean was shot dead, but that unknown person collapsed right in front of Jean. You moved to where he was and found Armin with his gun still pointing toward the dead body.

”Oh...” you mumbled, ”Armin, are you okay honey?” you knelt down to him.

”I... I killed someone.” he voiced absently.

At night, you were preparing the bedrooms in the abandoned house before joining the rest of the squad outside.

”... you save Jean.” Levi said.

You looked at him asking him what they were talking about and he nodded toward Armin.

”We should all go to sleep, it has been a long day.” you suggested.

Before walking away, you made sure Jean was doing great and then you went to see Armin. He was sitting in the corridor, holding his gun as if his life depended on it. You sat down next to him and he automatically rested his head on your shoulder.

”You did great today. You saved your friend’s life.” you tried to cheer him up.

”Levi said the same thing.”

”Levi’s never wrong.”

”I...” Armin started after a long pause, ”I constantly feel like I’m going to puke and I can’t sleep because every time I close my eyes, I see myself pulling the trigger.” he finished sobbing. You circled your arms around him and told him it was going to be fine.

”Do you want me to stay so you could sleep?”

”I- you have to sleep with the Captain though...”

”You can come in our bedroom then, I think there a couch there.” you cheered softly.

”Captain Levi wouldn’t agree.” Armin guessed.

”Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll say yes.”

—————

”What? No!” Levi shouted.

”Oh my! Not that loud! Armin is just outside!” you shouted back just as loud, ”but please say yes.”

”Is he supposed to sleep between us or something?”

”I was thinking about... hm, how do I put this delicately?” you asked yourself, ”I was thinking you should sleep on the couch because it might be uncomfortable for him to sleep with you.” you said cautiously.

Levi stared at you without smiling, saying ‘are you serious?’. Armin at this moment came in the bedroom worried.

”I don’t to be the cause of a fight, I can sleep with the others, it’s fine!” Armin inquired.

”Fine.” Levi sighed, ”but I’m not sleeping on that that thing.” he showed the old couch.

”The bed’s big, it’s fine!”

You were in the middle while Armin was on your left and Levi on your right. Armin fell asleep rather quickly while you and Levi were still awake.

”So that’s how my life’s going to look like? You and these kids?” Levi stated.

”They won’t be needing me anymore in a few years, so then it’s going to be just you and I. How does that sound?”

”Great. Sounds great to me.” he answered while spooning you. ”Are you really spooning Armin?” Levi asked you.

”Yeah, it’s more comfortable for the three of us, believe me.”

 —————

 - The night after Armin was captured as Historia (after that weirdo who said weird things and touched my boi)

When you found Jean and Armin, you kicked that old pervert in the balls and threw in far away from Armin. That same night, you found him crying silently outside of your tent. You and Levi sat down beside him.

”You did great.” Levi told him.

”I’m sorry you had to go through that.” you said.

”I think he’s asleep,” Levi started, ”That boy falls asleep so quickly when you’re here, it’s insane”

”Should we just sleep here?”

Levi ended up carrying Armin to his tent and you and Levi stayed with him, because neither of you could sleep anyway. Through the middle of the night, Jean opened Armin’s tent slightly and you came out.

”What’s wrong?” you asked worried.

”I just wanted to make sure Armin was alright.”

”He’s asleep which is great. You can’t sleep either?” you saw that Jean just looked away blushing, ”come, there’s enough place for a giant like you.” you joked.

When you came back Armin was awake.

”Why aren’t you sleeping?” you asked to which he responded with a shrug. ”Let’s all go back to sleep, and that includes you too Levi.”

Levi was right when he said that his life would the kids as long as you were there.

 —————

 - After the serum had to be given to Armin

Hange was screaming that Erwin had to have the serum. Mikasa and Eren were screaming that Armin should have it instead. While they were screaming, you were silently crying over Erwin’s almost dead body. Levi looked at you and for a second he thought about given Erwin the serum, but in the end, he gave it to Armin. When Levi made his move, you broke down crying, you were a mess.

You knew Levi had a special bond with Erwin and giving the serum to someone else was a hard choice. On top of that, Erwin was one of your closest friends. Which meant that you knew about his goal of discovering the secret about titans. And knowing how close he was to fulfil his dream broke your heart. Hange was beside you, on their knees beside Erwin. Very soon after, Levi joined the two of you.

”Y/N,” Levi started, ”I-”

”W-we have... we have to bury hi-his body.” you said sobbing uncontrollably, ”we can’t... we can’t just let him here.”

”Y/N, we still have to go to the basement.” Hange explained while you refused to let go of Erwin.

”I can stay here, I can wait for you to come back.” you chocked on your words.

That night, you hardly had any sleep. Levi holds you in his arms the whole night. By the morning, you had stopped crying, there were no tears left to cry.

”Do you want to go and eat?” Levi asked you.

”Not hungry.”

”I’m still going to grab some bread for us.”

The day passed too slowly for you, you stayed in the infirmary the whole day, but no one needed help - almost every member of the survey corps were dead anyway. But someone still knock on your door late in the afternoon. Before you could answer, the door opened on Armin. None of you talked - you could only assume that Eren and Mikasa filled him in about what happen.

”I can’t replace Commander Erwin.” Armin whispered. ”Please don’t hate me.” he faltered.

”What? I could never hate any of you! How — why would even think that?” you yelled.

”Erw—”

”Erwin’s dead yes, I know! But— all that matters is that you are here, and I’m glad you are.” you calmed down. ”I’m glad you’re still alive.”

Armin came running toward you and hugged you so tight that you could hardly breath.

”I thought you’d hate me.” Armin confessed.

”I would never because I love you.”

  - Reunion with Reiner

When you heard Gabi saying that Reiner had passed out, you follow her without saying anything. She showed you the house where Reiner was, and you opened the door slowly. He was on the ground, wrapped up in an old and thin blanket.

”Reiner?” you asked softly next to his ear, ”wake up and tell me if you’re hurt somewhere, Gabi told me you couldn’t heal properly.”

He groaned and opened his eyes. The last time you saw him was during the Shiganshina attack he planned with Bertolt and Zeke.

”I-”

”Reiner, are you alright?” Gabi asked worried.

”I just need to rest.” Reiner answer looking away from your stare.

You sat down and put Reiner’s head on your lap so he would be more comfortable.

”Sleep a bit before the others come, then we’ll move again.” you told him.

”I’m sorry.” Reiner whispered. He turned his head toward your stomach and curled up on himself. He was so afraid that you reject him after what he did, but he was one of your kids — you could never throw them away when they needed you.

—————

  RANDOM HCs

- Sasha would always ask you for your food because she knew you could never refuse.

- You always helped Connie take care of his mother after she was turned into a titan.

- One of your ritual with Armin would be reading together at night, before sleep. After hearing your stories from when he was sick during the training days, he never got tired of hearing them.

- Mikasa teaching you combat skills because she does not want you to die during expeditions.

- Once during training years, you tried to separate Jean and Eren and received a punch from Eren. They apologised a lot and you said it was fine, but Levi was so mad he almost went there himself to kick their butts.

- Reiner, Bertolt and Annie feeling bad because you were always so nice toward them. Plus, when you saw Annie again, you just hugged her and told her you were glad she was back.

  —————

MASTERLIST

NEXT POST IS GOING TO BE: that one time the kids called you ”mom” and that one time Jean called Captain Levi ”dad” —> really excited to write this one :D

Also, yes it was a lot of Armin but when I made my rough drafts of ideas, it was a lot of Armin. Also (x2) shorter than expected but yeah, wanted to get this out of my system before writting something else, hope you guys liked it though :) also (x3) it did looked better in my mind