#anyways its never that serious
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Do cogs dream?
#clemart#macthinker#teeechnically#drawn to go along with my short story i wrote (linked)#this is not the story I mentioned before btw im still working on that one#I did this one while working on that one because I got stuck#when there are differences in organic and robotic beings and despite having similar functions (specifically dreams)#they will most likely never be able to experience it the same way#anyways its never that serious#gets scared that i wrote them ooc vs putting them in situations that they have no canonical writing for battle#nervous about sharing written work so i need you all to be open minded with me#ok enough about all that#back to my lab report i go
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(ID in alt) hi sorry for back to back marvel fanart I swear I still have dc stuff lmao. However I did recently read X-Men: first class and got a bit carried away doodling this after Lmao
#marvel comics#x men#scott summers#jean grey#hank mccoy#bobby drake#warren worthington iii#charles xavier#anyway#picked X-Men: First Class#out of sheer curiosity and desire to know more about the X-Men and I really enjoyed it!#Idk how in line with canon it but. Whatever tbh. Anyway that was the inspo behind this#just the og 5 fooling around and being silly teens#jean being the flirty one probably isn't very in character at this time period (jean doesnt really show any interest in scott in first clas#but it was too cute to pass up#also charles looks so much more pissed off than i intended 😭 there's this one issue of first class where he's just BERATING the xmen#just yelling at them psychically and eventually its revealed that it wasn't actually Charles but i didn't question it at first#which is kind of mean to charles. but idk i haven't gotten far with the x-men (im being very casual in my reading rn)#so maybe he deserves it#also i keep making bigger and bigger drawings bc i know that those print well#but i keeo forgetting that tumblr murders the quality of the image when you upload it. bwahhh#anyway i think i am finally going to knuckle down and open commission slots for part of july#idk how much a bad boy like this (lined coloured and shaded w/ multiple characters) would cost but we're gonna figure that out#honestly i might slightly under price them just to encourage ppl to spring for them#okay that's all for now I PROMISE I HAVE DC DRAWINGS TO SHARE i was just in a serious drawing funk and drawing some characters-#-that I'd never drawn before (like shulkie and now the xmen) helped break that funk!#mine
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poppyseed looks like she probably has the most fucked up lore but for now she's just. critter on my dash
JSFJDSD NO YEAH YOURE RIGHT😭😭😭😭 the gist of it is that she used to be a human witch but her best friend/partner turned her into a bunnyhorse that cant do magic bc they envied her success, so then in hopes to go back to normal she broke into a lot of high ranking wizards places to steal tomes and scrolls to turn herself back which landed her in wizard jail, she managed to escape it and in her travels far away she decided to adopt a kid to teach him magic so he could protect her from the wizard police who is still searching for her.... BUT DESPITE THE HARDSHIPS WE STAY SILLY💕💪💕💪
#the story isnt rlly meant to b serious but sometimes its fun to treat is as such JSDFHSJD#i mean i literally came up w mago bc they made my sister read harrry pter and she thought it sucked so i was like i bet i can do it better#despite never reading it JSFHDGJ id like to think i succeded AND DAMN THATS A LOT OF TEXT..#anyways i think if u scroll far enough down her tag theres some comics ab her reflecting on being turned into a buny#art#my art#oc tag#ask#oc poppyseed
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this is probably an unpopular opinion with the amount of "everyone is married with kids" type future aus people make for sonic characters but i cannot see sonic getting married or having a kid ever. if he did somehow end up with a kid hed be the worlds first transmasc absent father or however the joke goes
#i can only see sonic with a kid if its some random kid he accidentally adopted or whatever#and if he had a partner whatever they have going on probably wouldnt fit the typical idea of how having a partner works at all#i dont think sonic is a very romantic guy to be honest. and being in a serious relationship or ''settling down'' wouldnt be for him#i guess you could argue his feelings towards that sort of stuff could change once hes an adult#but i kinda. dont like. the idea of him suddenly becoming interested in romance and wanting to settle down#as a sign hes ''finally grown up'' or whatever. because lack of interest in romance isnt an immature trait you have to grow out of#some people never want that sort of thing and thats fine#anyway i dont hate fankids to be clear i think theyre fun in concept . like from a design standpoint#taking traits from characters you like to make a new guy out of it is fun#i just cannot imagine those things ever actually happening does that make sense#actually while im at it i dont think rouge would want kids at all either . people want her to be motherly so bad but she just is not#she is the cool older sister figure who teaches you how to steal from the pin container at hot topic without getting caught. not a mom
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i think there's really something to be said about how there has never been a record i've encountered where people wanted justification or excuse to refuse to acknowledge the intention and seriousness of the project itself like danger days by both defenders and haters. i find it so incredibly bizarre and strange and partially fascinating.
#its all wrapped up in what danger days represents for people partially.#like idk ive been trying to verbalize it for yeaarsss but it always feels like people rhetorically discuss it as a side-effect#of whatever neurosis soothes their narrative. its a record of immense mania and tragedy for some people for instance#which i find very laughable but whatever. people want dd to be miserable for so many reasons#which is immediately rendered sort of null when you compare parade. both the touring and the album making process.#like realistically this is a band that every single record is shaded with immense difficulty and uncertainty#but instead of dealing with that fans love to sort of isolate danger days since its this moment of betrayal its the beginning of the end#its not what people wanted#when realisitically the single biggest creative pressure on the band would've been being severely in debt#to the label for scrapping con weap. LMAO. but that never factors. because its about narratives.#like danger days To Me is an incredibly ambitious record. clearly personal. artistically inspired. absolutely rushed job#because they were bleeding money.#but its cool that they took that stand!!! and they had to have felt collectively passionate enough to do that in the first place!#but people want to engage with it on the terms of their disappointment. or the record as a harbinger of doom.#idk i was reading rym reviews (a mistake) and its wild how the critical positive consensus is either#incredibly stupid teenagers thinking mcr want to firebomb a walmart or 'well its not as good but i like fun things!'#am i crazy for thinking it more serious than that? that its pulling sonically from a wide array of inspirations and actually working#in conversation with them???#anyway. synths 4ever.#my posts
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You know these tropes in stories where if you lose your soulmate you're left forever yearning for something just out of your reach, forever searching for something you can never find? That's me, JRWI Riptide is my soulmate. Send post
#I can NEVER stick around long enough for any other dnd podcast#or any other jrwi campaign really#I've listened to like 40 hours of one of critical role's campaigns on the background and I cannot tell you names of its main characters#it was fine and I get why people are crazy about it but.. it's not it#doesn't tickle my brain the same way#too serious and yet somehow not serious enough???#riptide was the only thing that made me realize dnd can be REALLY fun#even wanted to try it myself but I don't have anyone to play with#ANYWAY will have to relisten to riptide next year. have been putting it off because I'm scared it will once again consume me whole#jrwi riptide#jrwi#jrwiblr#notes&thoughts
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btw i will forever recommend just. refusing to engage in discourse. its free its easy and you literally arent missing anything LMAO - 99% of discourse on here is just on the most pointless petty shit that literally doesnt mean a single thing to anyone in real life (i am looking directly at you "pRo/AnTi" shippers), and the other 1% is genuinely important shit... that isnt going to be solved in any productive way by insulting '''the other side''' online. arguing with strangers online never changes anyones mind all youre doing is making yourself *and* your cause look annoying as hell :thumbsup: maybe chill out. find a hobby.
#dont even get me started on how apparently this entire fucking site has never heard of nuance in its life#im ngl dude i think if youre boiling down a complicated topic to 'well this is the good side (my side) and then the BAD EVIL SIDE'#and putting anyone who even slightly falls out of line with your beliefs on the evil side#like. thats not gonna be productive in the slightest right. you understand that right#if you wanna have meaningful nuanced discussions with people you actually know about serious topics then go for it!#just dont drag random strangers into it#if i have to see one more post with dumb bullshit acronyms that everyones expected to know that insults anyone who doesnt blindly agree wit#them i stg#'if you dont agree with this then clearly youre a [evil side] who hates [group] and does [bad thing]. theres no other logical explanation#for you possibly not agreeing with me'#and theyre talking about the most obscure insane discourse youve literally never heard of before thatll be flooding your dash for the next#month#had to unfollow a really good artist because they just kep reblogging the most aggressive 'every [evil side] sucks and hates [good side] an#doesnt care about them and wants to oppress them'#(said '[evil side]' wasnt even a moral stance it was literally just something you were born as. like. you get how thats fucked up right)#which uh. sucked! especially since i was part of that [evil side]#anyway midnight rant over tldr uhhh discourse stupid go get hobbies#and if i ever mention what discourse topic inspired this post ill probably get torn apart LMAOO#(hint: its one of the stupid pointless ones)#me.txt
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Any algorithm can be a black box algorithm if you're too lazy to read the documentation
#has this been done before? probably. is that gonna stop me? no#like on one hand haha cs joke#otoh this is the standard experience for the average computer user which is frightening#i might have absolutely no clue how to actually program 99.9999% of things on the internet (perhaps an underestimate the internet is BIG)#but i have a good grasp on a lot of basic ideas which is enough to break the illusion that its just all magic#and more over the illusion that anything is infallible#additionally (more tangential) im basically never scared of new technologies itself but im very frequently scared about how it'll be used#even things that I think are being used in the worst ways or are clearly ripe for abuse have potential good uses too in my experience#anyways those were some very serious tags for a shit post!#seven stories
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The more I think about Wildmender the more I grow invested in it. It's a fascinating interpretation of terra nil and solarpunk since so often the genre is fundamentally rooted in settler-colonialist philosophy, and even games which are intended to be the opposite of that--terra nil comes to mind as the obvious one--just end up actually revealing a different side of the factorio problem, because terra nil is an incredible impersonal restoration of ecological systems. Terra Nil acknowledges climate destruction on a global catastrophic scale and it accepts the responsibility to fix that, but it isn't shown as a human act, nor does it really allow itself the realism of just how terrifyingly impossible the task is to try and literally fix the entire world. Its game structure is supposed to be the anti-factorio but its puzzle structures focusing on efficiency and robotic engineering patterns of rewilding end up feeling more like a dialogue than an inversion. It's trying to say that the idea of humanity as fundamentally destructive is wrong while it doesn't actually ever address the human element.
And then there's fucking Wildmender. A game where you are a single human child in a world of endless wasteland and death, where the only other things are ghosts who remember a halcyon era and the hubris that ended it, wraiths which are consumed by their own greed and destruction of the land for their cursed immortality, and a couple god statues. The entire map is just ceaseless grief, filled with the literal dessicated remains of all the biodiversity that came before the countless disasters. And it's a big fucking map.
And then...the game gives you a shovel and a sickle and a mirror that shows the wraiths what twisted reflections they've become.
And the game says, "The entire world is waiting to be better, and the only way to do that is by doing it yourself, long and hard and hopeless as it seems."
I cannot emphasize enough how overwhelming the task you're handed. There is not a single speck of life left in the world. You are given a shovel and a water bottle and just...expected to do something about it. To look at the literal endless wastes and think you can heal it.
This is what Wildmender cherishes that Terra Nil denies: This is an impossible task for you alone. But it has to be done...and you can actually do it. The way you can turn sand into soil and dig irrigation channels is beautiful. Every single scrap of land that you reclaim is something you had to do on purpose. You had to do it yourself. You had to actively choose how to do it.
And the game makes the reward of even just getting a bit more water into the sand feel like victory. Your starting oasis turns from soil into lush and beautiful meadows--sure, technically instantaneously by doing magic on a specific type of plant. But it took me 4-5 hours before I got there. You have to travel so far into the desert to learn how to grow grass again, and then you realize that this endless hostile wasteland is a fraction of the map you're given. And you look at this sudden profusion of meadowy grassland surrounding your spring and despite how sudden it feels you remember how big the world is. You made more progress in a minute than you did in 5 hours and it's not even a speck on the map. How the fuck is this gonna happen?
And the answer is by accepting that it's going to take a long fucking time and a lot of hard work.
That's how it's gonna happen. Get to work.
#i have Opinions on the concept of desert as fundamentally empty and devoid of life as a SW native#but honestly the game handles the baggage really beautifully in ways i adore#it makes this impossible task youre handed not merely meaningful but also empowering#because it never does shy away from what its demanding of you it makes you earn every fucking inch#but like. when my first oak tree gave me my first harvest of acorns?#acorns i could use to bring the ghosts of more old oaks back to life?#the feelings i felt knowing that this little oak grove was a major first step in turning the endless translucent corpses filling the land#oh man#i choked up for real.#anyway. buy wildmender :)#and if for some reason youre having serious performance issues for no fucking reason when you first install#getting a refund and then rebuying the game somehow completely solved it for me. so uh. theres one solution maybe?#OH RIGHT#my writing#my essay#my essays#wildmender
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Soldier players are admirable to me and you doing some guiding to the anons is really cool, might try rocket jumping again we'll see
-a demo player that can sometimes mid air sticky jump and can glide across the ground on upward from blu spawn till the mine exit(and is bad at rockets)
hey airpogo is legit, most demojumping is hella hardcore :D one of my best friends is a cracked demo jumper AND soldier jumper (because I love having an excuse to gush about my friends here's some of his stuff)
youtube
youtube
You can absolutely have both. But I'll warn you, Rocket and Sticky jumping both are very difficult and they legitimately take many years to get really good at. Just remember to keep working hard and don't give up on yourself and have faith that you will improve. I believe in you!
#a lot of people seem to be discouraged by rocket jumping because they don't realize just HOW difficult it is#it's legitimately like learning how to play an instrument or draw or something like that#it takes a lot of commitment and time and the more experience I have teaching people I see people's enthusiasm taper once they realize#just HOW hard it's going to be#which is fair not everyone has time to commit to a hobby like that and I can see why people would want to take shortcuts where they can#but I promise you its worth it to really explore and experience if its something that really interests you#but it WILL test your mettle#and it will NEVER stop#i'm serious about this#video#anyways look at how talented my friend fishe is :3#don't tell him that im posting his old videos LOL
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jjk fans will jump at any opportunity to hate women because what did hana even do
#WHY IS SHE THE BUS DRIVER ALL OF A SUDDEN#she’s a teenage girl with a cringe crush on a teenage boy. literally what even is the issue#this how i know y’all been cooped up in your parents house since age 12 bc have yall never had a crush before#taking every word serious and hearing the wedding bells is the definition of having a crush are you serious#that lil girl may be a bit delulu but cmon now there’s people out there believing geto will come back#just because she ‘gets in the way’ of your midbrow yaoi ship that wasn’t ever gonna be canon anyways man gtfoh#they’re giving her the utahime treatment already smh#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk manga spoilers#kinda???#jjk 270#hana kurusu#jjk hana#megumi fushiguro#jjk megumi#truly hate how they see megumi as nothing but yuji’s damsel in distress#fuck all the way off yall are doing the same shit the zigzags do#THAT AINT HOW ITS SUPPOSED TA BEEEEEEE
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My yap session dynamics that are hard to read without zooming in. sorry
#clemart#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#Mac Opsys#Winn Dos#Professor Pete#Brian ttcc#Prethinker#not tagging the brianbots bc i drew that in like 1 minute at most#hesitant on tagging this as schoolhouse rock bc i think that has an actual fandom and i dont want to impede on what they have going on#much respect to them#maybe i need to rename their group. ANYWAYS#these are all super summarized especially between mac and brian#technically ive already posted about my thoughts on the dynamic between brian and the brianbots but youknow#idkkk hangs my head low#i was writing some of this and going ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS ITS NEVER THAT SERIOUS#i can imagine anything#i was going to put them under a readmore but no. we die like men#theres also definitely some typos. sorry in advance#Okay looking at this the day after and I got embarassed again. Toontown is not this serious be kind to me
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I know my ass says this every time there’s a new season but god DAMN, heartstopper is such a good show for teenagers
#the klock keeps ticking#heartstopper#and also before i go on my ramble let me get my obligatory angy moment out of the way#i wish aled was in the show im never gonna be over this i think isaac is turning out great but like#every time i see him it just feels so wrong lol its like. WHERES MY BOY WHERES MY GUY RADIOOOO#okay anyways#i only watched the first 2 episodes of s3 but damn its just like so good at the tone#so good at being sweet but serious when it needs to be#so good at showing healthy communication methods in a way teenagers can practice#and just like saying that hey. your partner is struggling with something and you arent responsible for fixing them cuz you literally cannot#do that and you are literally 16 theyre gonna need much more than this#and this is a part of growing up and having your relationships mature like you will have to go through shit like this together sometimes#and its a lot but you can still show love and support without straining yourself it just takes practice and patience#im so glad a show like this exists for teenagers cuz damn i havent seen anything be this good for that specific demographic in uh#like ever? something thats so good at acknowledging that teenagers have these problems or drink or have sex#without doing some euphoria bullshit#just tows the line so well
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I think looking through my art over then years is really interesting because in middle school I drew a lot of ( terrible ) fanart, drew a LOT of comics and generally just drew whatever I wanted even though it was pretty terrible.
In highschool I drew a LOT of really serious, really grungey and really naked-heavy art ( Like...I drew naked women very very often because I was a closeted trans man :/) and I also drew a lot of ocs. I was mentally not the worse but I was masking super hard and wanted to understand the kind of struggles other people went through ( I was one of those kids that liked reading really sad stories and 'longed for trauma so that my being the way I am would make sense and be justified' anyway I did have trauma just could not recognize it as such because my life was ' too normal'. Not trying to like trauma dump or whatever I've just thought about it a lot )
Then in college/after college ( during a really difficult time in my life ) I drew a LOT of men. Especially sexy/sexualized men. But my art was less serious and more story driven. Still not comics but a lot of behind the scenes lore was happening. Also drew a lot of OCS. My college art was p weak cause I just wanted to make oc art at the time and all my instructors wanted me to make symbolic pieces that 'meant something' and I was very against that. ( I also was out at this time and was unmasking a lot more - but I also was living through some mildly traumatic stuff. I don't like to call it traumatic but it might have been that. I worry the stuff I think is traumatic isn't and I'm totally blowing it out of proportion. Anyway this isn't venting just observations )
And NOW I make a LOT OF FANART AND A LOT OF COMICS AND A LOT OF WHATEVER I WANT Which is hilarious cause we've come full circle. I don't draw sexual/sexy stuff at all anymore cause I don't enjoy it and I never enjoyed it ( I drew a lot of it in college/after college cause the people around me thought I was asexual and I wanted to prove I wasn't, because I really am not. Might be aromantic tho. Anyway drawing sexy stuff vs not drawing it means nothing in relation to my sexuality ) I also am working on drawing stuff that actually does mean something even tho I hated it in college. But I'm doing it the way I want to. ( this was all because of a comment I got on a fanfic. Wherever you are commented I hope you're doing well. You made me want to create art and fics that have a deeper meaning )
I think currently I am happiest with my art I just wish I had more time for it. Like yeah skill wise I'll probably never be where I want to be - as is the nature of being an artist - but I'm having fun and enjoy sharing my art and that's what matters.
Anyway I'm gonna make a year of art summary but I am also gonna make a 25 years of art summary for my birthday cause I think the comparisons are just funny year to year. Like I'll have gaps and stuff obviously but the circle of art I've been going through is so wild
Also side note none OF THIS IS MEANT TO BE A VENT ANY MENTAL HEALTH/TRAUMA THINGS ARE JUST OBSERVATIONS I'VE MADE/SPENT TIME THINKING ABOUT OKAY SO PLEASE DONT WORRY ABOUT REASSURING ME I DO PLAN ON TALKING ABOUT ALL THIS IN THERAPY OBVIOUSLY IM MENTALLY ACTUALLY P DECENT RN THIS WAS JUST ME RAMBLING ABOUT THE VERY SILLY ART CIRCLE JOURNEY IVE BEEN ON AND ALSO SOME OF THE THINGS THAT INFLUENVED THAT JOURNEY AH
#angel talks#about literally nothing#also ironically the health problems began during that really bad time#but also it was during covid and i HAD covid during that time twuce#it wasnt super serious i mostly just had back pain that seemed to never go away#and obviously now im realizing a lot more stuff#anyway until i am able to go to a doctor im gonnnaaaa#try out a cane for when i need to stsnd a lot#if it doesnt work/doesnt feel right ill stop using it#its a temporary attempt before i can go to a doctor cause its gonna be a bit#my december and january are pretty full#and i also want to attempt to get on hormones after the new year#even tho this isnt a great climate for it im moving in eitb my grandma who was supoorticve wjen i came out#uhhh if you read this far gold star ir whatever#My frontal lobe is developing in exactly one month happy 1 month frontal lobening ( joke)
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immortality is so lonely
#my art lol#vocaloid#vocaloid fanart#lumi vocaloid#'this will just be a warmup!' *spends nearly the whole fucking day lining + rendering it* 😭😭 THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS#i try to tell myself its ok if im no longer speed demon at drawing anymore b/c it means im putting more work into my art now#anyways ive never done smthn proper w/ her before and i wanted to try doing something for funsies#i also immediately turned around and did a shitpost right after this but im not including it here b/c this feels too serious lmaoo#realized her birthday's in a few days so good timing too ig LMAO??#queued this bc WOOHOO FINISHING SHIT AT MIDNIGHT WHEN I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY IN THE MORNING *dies*
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And my thing STILL is that as carmen gets a stronger sense of her past and better connections with her friends and allies the need/desire for Gray in her life doesn't decrease and dissapate, it INCREASES and is refined. All while constantly being more sincerely layered in romantic tones as the show goes on.
#red crackle#red crackle thoughts#op watches#imo you actually cant dismiss it as (well thats all VILE propaganda)#when the show said (and those encounters + possible romantic realizations pushed gray to pull his care for her to the surface)#and carmen knew it was a date! never let her off the hook for that! she knew it was a date and yearned to join him at that table!#i dont think a show so proud of its check->czech joke overlooked that framing#+ minor note even how he goes from she's attractive-> much more serious contemplating on who she is and affection#just because gray would in fact never say 🥺um goodness is important doesnt mean you can wholesale throw out what is happening#during the arc#carmen yearns#and she becomes more and more open about it as she stabilizes#as the shows parallels about love/redemption/and desire for reconciliation get stonger too like#hmmm i hate this show#never am i gonna find this specific kind of absolutely wild that leaves me bewiltered that the show does not in fact work in parts shdjflfk#part 1 is complete onto-....oh wait...oh wait yeah netflix ...#....anyway it has to be them#it has to be the girl who left the isle and the boy who found someone he never expected to love this much
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