#anyways im glad ive finally read one and know what i actually think

[13eyond13]

alrighty, so I finally finished It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover... and I don't think it's glorifying abusive relationships or anything? Quite the opposite, it pretty clearly goes on about how it's not okay to do the things the abuser is doing at all. It's showing how these situations can happen and how people choose to deal with them and work things out with each other through the complicated feelings and decisions that arise from them, basically. Wasn't the best book I've ever read but wasn't the worst one either, and I think the author's note at the end goes over her reasons for writing it and personal experiences related to it pretty well

[justarkive]

TABLE 3 | JJK ch 1

“For good service and cute waitresses”

pairing: pre military!jk x fuckbuddy!oc

contents: mild language, no smut (yet), fluff, humour, celeb au, very mild angst.

wc: 1.96k

this fic is not meant to represent the real jungkook or any other characters mentioned!

taglist: if anyone wants to join pls comment!!

A/N: inspired by the iconic 97liner pics. Hi guys, this is my first id say, proper? fanfiction, im planning on making this a pretty long series ! also im posting smth i actually like, shocker! ive had secret fuck buddy oc x military!jk on my mind for so long and im so happy ive finished the part i’ve had in my notes for a hot minute! lmk what u think :> i also couldnt wait for the poll to finish before posting this haha, anyways enjoy and tysm 4 reading

masterlist | <previous | next>

The diner is quiet tonight. Though speaking too soon may grant you with a consequence, considering its only 6pm on a Thursday. You glance at the clock realising you have a long night ahead, and complaining will utterly make everything 10x worse. What’s worse is Nari is late to her shift like usual, and your boss’ constant singing in the prep room is sure to drive you insane sooner or later. He’s still humming as your scrubbing down the bar counter- its not like it needs it, you just aren’t in the mood to be scolded by a chunky, 40 year old man.

You don’t even realise you’re scrubbing the table even more vigorously when a combination of your phone ringing in your trouser pocket and a squeal of costumers sitting by the hibachi grill completely catches you off guard. It’s Hibachi night, and your day seriously couldn’t get any worser. You’re rolling your eyes at the family of three who barely pay attention to the chef cooking in front of them, with all of their phones plastered to their faces, and when they’re finally placed down to take the plate out of the chef’s hands and your sure you dont see a gesture of thanks, your grabbing your phone, walking to the bathroom and calling Nari.

“Nari! Where the fuck are you? Its Hibachi night, you can’t leave me here alone on Hibachi night!” You’re drawing imaginary patterns on the stall wall with your fingers, shuffling your knees under your chin whilst sitting on the closed toilet seat. Nari’s quick to apologise and tell you shes on the way, and you tell her goodbye before fixing your hair in the mirror and going back outside.

You know you’re in for a long night when a group of people enter the restaurant, your boss greeting them with his signature, annoying high voice, and you’re just glad you’ll have someone to share the misery with when Nari gets here.

“Y/n! Go and serve table 3, and put a smile on your face, they’re quite the group!” You’re pushing yourself off of the bar stool, quickly taking menus and sending your boss a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. The oblivious man dosent seem to notice.

Dragging yourself to Table 3, the group of men are already seated, seemingly finding something hilarious though when you step into their view, it seems to die down. You’re flashing them a smile, quickly bowing before noticing that all of them are seriously attractive.

You notice the one sitting alone first, in the best way possible, his face is sweet. He has a smile which makes his eyes turn into thin crescents on his face and you cant help but smile back at him. He’s wearing a beanie, and his face is so perfect it’s hard to keep composure. The two sitting in front catch your eyes next, one with the most beautiful tanned skin, effortlessly masculine face which makes you wonder if he’d been specially sculpted and put on the earth to kill with his looks shoots you a smile. Finally, the last one, he’s wearing a bucket hat hiding some of his face, and he’s fiddling with his lip ring. He looks the youngest out of the lot, big doe eyes peeking through his hat and, he seems to be…looking at you far more intensely than the other two seem to be. His sleeve is slightly rolled up and you cant help but stare a second too long at the most beautiful sleeve of art adorning his muscular ar-

Seriously Y/n! Get it together, be professional!

You clear your throat when he smirks at you noticing your shameless gawking placing the menus in front of them “Hello, i’ll be serving you tonight, i’m y/n, can i get you started on any drinks?”

The guy in the beanie is first to talk, voice light when he asks for a beer. His grin widens when you look at him, and it’s easy to see why people would gravitate to him like yourself. He just has that charm.

Your heart beats a little faster when the one next to him interrupts the silence of you taking his order down, asking for two beers rather than one, his gaze is equally intimidating as it is intriguing, and you’re trying so hard to keep it professional right now, “Alright, and you?”

“Water’s fine for me, thank you.” You take the orders down quickly, sure that if you stood there any longer your heart would pound out of your chest. Where the fuck is Nari?

You turn to head toward the bar to grab their drinks, and you hear the faintest chuckle from the table. “Hey, don’t you need to see my ID first?” The voice belongs to the guy in the bucket hat—the one with the doe eyes and that unreadable expression. You freeze for a second, unsure of whether he’s joking or not. You glance back at him, and he’s staring at you, lips curling into a playful smirk.

You blink, trying to keep it professional. “Uh, do i?”

He leans forward, still fiddling with his lip ring, his eyes twinkling. “I look too young for that beer, right? You know, like one of those guys who gets ID’d for everything.”

His tone is light, teasing, and for a second, you almost think he’s serious. But then his friends start laughing quietly, and you realize—he’s just messing with you. You can’t help but roll your eyes, but there’s a smile tugging at your lips anyway. “Uh-huh. Right, sure. Let me grab your ID then, Mr. Underage.”

The others crack up even harder at that, and he just shrugs, chuckling under his breath. “I swear, I get carded everywhere. It’s kinda embarrassing, but hey, at least I look young.” You smile and roll your eyes, walking away to get their drinks, but now, you’re trying not to laugh too hard at the mental image of him getting carded at the grocery store or a random café. But it’s no surprise to you, in fact his young face has you seriously considering if he was actually underage. Oh well.

When you come back, with drinks, you take down their orders for food, their effortless small talk and flirting has you feeling like they aren’t in no rush for you to leave them alone, but you remember that you’re at work, and go back to scrubbing the bar counters, but you cant help but glance down at their table every now and then.

By the time you bring out their food, the conversation around the table has picked up again, the atmosphere light and easy. You can’t help but notice the way they’re all leaning into each other, laughing over something you missed. When you set the plates down, you quickly glance around to make sure nothing’s out of place, and that’s when you spot Nari walking in. She’s just clocked in, looking hurried, but you can’t help the relieved sigh that escapes your lips.

You barely have time to throw the boys a quick wave before you head back to the bar, feeling the weight of their gazes follow you for just a second longer than you’d like. Rushing over to Nari, she’s changing into her work clothes before giving you a smile and opening her arms for a hug. “Long day already?” You groan, moving back after hugging her and fixing her hair which has moved in front of her face.

“It’s Hibachi night. Also theres a group of some serious fine men, look ove-“ Your eyebrows furrow when she follows your finger and gasps so loud you wince. “Shh! I know! But be quiet, they might catch us..”

The look on her face tells you she’s indeed not surprised about the way they look and rather “That’s the Jeon Jungkook, oh and is that- Kim Mingyu? CHA EUNWOO?!”

You blink. Then blink again. “Who?”

Nari turns to you so fast you think she might give herself whiplash. “Who?! Are you serious? Are you actually joking right now?”

You shrug, confused. “They just look like really hot guys to me… wait? You know them? Shit did you guys like-“ You make a hand motion which you hope she takes as ‘do a thing’.

She looks like she might actually pass out. “WHAT—?! Oh my god, I can’t do this right now.” Nari presses a hand to her chest like she’s physically offended by your assumption. “Do a thing?! Are you insane?”

You raise a brow. “Okay, so you didn’t. Then what’s the big deal?” She’s pulling out her phone, typing something into google.

She looks like she might actually strangle you. “Y/n, they’re famous.”

You stare at her blankly. “And? We get a shitload of famous people here, whats the big deal?”

Nari makes a strangled noise. “And?! And?! You’re telling me you don’t recognize Jeon Jungkook—of BTS?! Or Mingyu from Seventeen?! Or Cha Eunwoo, literal actor, singer, face genius?!”

You cross your arms, unimpressed. “I mean yeah, I guess i recognise it a bit but- Nari, you do realize I don’t live on the internet like you, right?”

She groans, dragging a hand down her face. “This is actually so embarrassing. You served them like they were just—regular people.”

You blink at her. “I mean, they are regular people?”

She exhales sharply, shaking her head. “No. No, they are not.”

You snort, glancing back to the table in question, The boys are still eating, but Jungkook’s eyes are quick to meet yours and you swear you see the corner of his lips quirk up like he knows exactly what your talking about. You will yourself to look away, and you see Nari sneaking pictures under the bar counter. “Well I guess it’s too late, I already treated them like normal guys, and they didn’t seem to mind.”

Nari doesn’t let up. “Okay, okay—since you’re so professional, why don’t you go check on their table? You are their server, after all.”

You narrow your eyes. “You’re up to something.”

“Me? Never.” She puts a hand to her chest like she’s offended. “I just think it’s good service to make sure everything’s okay.”

You groan. “You’re so annoying.”

“And yet, you’re still walking over.”

You mutter a few curses under your breath but do as she says, smoothing your hands over your apron as you approach the table again. They’re mid-conversation, laughing about something, but the second you arrive, Jungkook’s gaze flicks to you immediately. Great. Composure, y/n!

You take a deep breath before walking up, trying not to feel Nari’s eyes drilling into the back of your head. You’re just checking in. That’s it.

When you reach them, their conversation slows, and Jungkook glances up first, his dark eyes flickering to yours almost immediately.

“Hey, uh,” you clear your throat, gripping your notepad even though you don’t need it. “Just checking in. Everything good over here?”

Mingyu nods, smiling as he pushes his plate forward slightly. “Yeah, everything’s great. Thanks.”

Eunwoo hums in agreement, giving you a polite smile.

Jungkook, though—he doesn’t answer right away. He’s still looking at you, his fingers tapping lightly against his glass. You shift on your feet, suddenly aware of how intense his gaze is.

“It’s good,” he finally says, voice smooth but casual. “Didn’t expect to have someone checking on me so much, though.”

Your brows furrow slightly. “Huh?”

His lips quirk up just a little. “You’ve been around a lot. Just saying.”

You blink. “That’s-… literally my job.”

Mingyu huffs out a quiet laugh, shaking his head.

Jungkook exhales through his nose, barely a smile, but it’s there. “Fair enough.” He looks down at his plate, nudging a piece of food with his chopsticks before glancing up at you again. “But I don’t mind.”

Your breath catches for just a second before you snap out of it, nodding stiffly. “Right. Well. Let me know if you guys need anything.”

You spin on your heel before he can say anything else, making your way back to the bar—only to find Nari grinning at you.

“So?” she sing-songs.

You roll your eyes, pretending you don’t feel the warmth still lingering in your face. “Shut up.”

—

As the night winds down, the table of ridiculously attractive men finally finishes their meals, and you’re just about to go over when Nari beats you to it, balancing the empty plates with practiced ease. She throws you a look—one that’s way too smug for your liking—as she walks past.

You roll your eyes, pretending not to care, but you can’t help glancing over. They’re still chatting, laughing among themselves, but one of them—Jungkook—stands up, stretching a little before making his way toward the bar.

Toward you.

You pretend to be busy, wiping down an already-clean spot on the counter, but you can feel him approaching before he even says anything.

“Hey,” his voice is smooth, casual, but there’s a slight rasp to it. “Just wanted to leave a tip.”

He slides a bill toward you, and when you glance down, you realize it’s…a lot. Way more than necessary. Your eyes flicker back to him, skeptical. “This is kind of excessive, don’t you think?”

Jungkook shrugs, resting his arms against the counter, tattoos peeking out beneath his sleeve. “Service was good.”

You huff a small laugh, shaking your head. “You barely let me serve you. Nari took your plates.”

“Still counts, doesn’t it?” He tilts his head slightly, studying you in that way that makes your stomach feel weirdly unsettled. Not in a bad way—just aware.

You narrow your eyes at him, playful. “You do this everywhere you go?”

“What? Tip?”

“No.” You lean a little closer. “Flirt.”

Jungkook grins, running his tongue over his lip ring before speaking. “Only when the waitress is cute.”

Oh.

You open your mouth to respond—to throw back something equally teasing—but before you can, Mingyu calls his name from the entrance, signaling that they’re leaving. Jungkook glances over his shoulder, then back at you, his grin softening just a little.

“See you around?” he says, and you’re not even sure if it’s a question or a statement.

You don’t answer immediately, just biting back a smile as you watch him walk away. And when you finally glance down at the tip he left, there’s a note scribbled onto the bill:

“For good service. And cute waitresses.”

Maybe work wasn’t so bad tonight.

[choccy-milky]

Random but when you post something I always get excited thinking it's a new chapter 😭 I'm literally waiting by my phone for it

BAHAH IM SORRY ANONS ITS COMING SOON I SWEAR!! but im glad ur looking forward to it!! my damn outline ALONE is 21k words (tho im really happy with it and im excited for yall to read it) and although i still have to finish it + the drawing, HERES PART OF THE WIP IN THE MEANTIME🥹💖(also anon, who cares if u think youre terrible at art... DRAW ANYWAY!!!😤& ILY TOO💖 )

im definitely gonna write them as adults, and have ideas for some side stories i wanna do!!! the one i mentioned in the wattpad comment would be in writing, because i wanna write about seb and clora finally deciding to have their first kid (along with the process😏😏😏😏) and how sebs breeding kink ass will react to doing the devils tango with clora when its ACTUALLY gonna make a baby LMAO. plus how his overprotective ass will act when he finds out clora is LEGIT pregnant while theyre travelling/on the JOB, rather than just a pregnancy scare like last time BAHA. so yes, overly excited seb will defs be a thing in the future LOL. (though there are things i am just gonna keep in comic form, like their kids and stuff, bc i dont rly have ideas for any sort of epilogue with that. so if ppl wanna know about seb and cloras kids, they can just look at my art once i finally draw and post them ^^)

IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO and the hairclip would defs be different!! i just havent decided what it would be.... (bro's about go buy her something bedazzled from ardene or claire's or some shit 💀💀LMAO) as for the mascots, the snake for seb would defs still apply bc ive decided its their mascot for the school football team. but for clora no, i dont think bird/raven imagery would be a thing......tho maybe the school mascots can be the snakes AND ravens LMFAO. and then i can have seb look directly into the camera and say "well, clora, looks like we really are The Raven and the Snake."

@4ever2000lover BAHAHA YOULL SEE YOUR NIECE AND NEPHEW SOON I SWEAR!!! i have the sketches but i plan to finish them + post them once im done the last chap of my fic. but they ARE coming, i promise👀👀(and im rly excited for everyone to see their daughter and her name, bc im so proud of it LMAO. i used up my entire big brain quota for the year on it +the reasoning behind it🧠)

also @blue-space-dragon TYSM IM GLAD U LIKE MY ART AND HOW I DRAW MY BLORBOS🥹💖AND ALSO THAT U FIND IT APPETIZING LMAO😋💖

[definitelynotshouting]

Hi I’m obsesseddddd with your hunger au and after reading the lore doc and the fic I have a couple questions if you don’t mind

Ok first off this isn’t really a question and more like a “huh wouldn’t that be fucked up” thought but uhhhh. So og grian was pretty much trapped in a box and constantly watched while the larva developed right. Did the watchers ever feed off him? Bc I imagine being trapped and just waiting to die wouldn’t be great for your emotional state. Or would they not since he is hosting the larva and that point so they can’t/wont feed on a host? Oh also you said that he made the deal to become a watcher while under duress. I imagine that duress could easily be heightened by some hungry watchers. And having your brain lightly fried would probably make you more susceptible to agreeing to a fucked up situation

And for my second question I was curious how aware the general populace/the hermits are of watchers?? Like are they a known thing and ppl just aren’t sure how they work or what. Because the rescue group had to puzzle out that grian was benefiting from their suffering in some way, but pearl seemed to have some idea of what grian was with the whole “eating our brains” bit so I’m curious what levels of knowledge they’re operating with here

Anyways thanks for reading my silly little thoughts on your amazing au!! It’s so fun I’m having such a good time with the horrible things happening

Im so glad you like the fic, anon!! :DD im always so touched when people tell me they enjoyed it enough to read the lore behind it-- gods ive gotta update that, there are a sizeable amount of newer asks i havent added to it yet, plus my beloved friend @/corvidaearts made a proper carrd for it on my birthday that i plan on replacing the google doc with!!! Just, uh, as soon as i add aforementioned posts dkcjsjdjfj

That would be super fucked up if they fed on him while he was trapped, OUGHHHH.... id say in canon probably not, because feeding off of one Player is really really dangerous for them, and Grian was now a host for their experiment to see if they could bring their population back up. If anything, nobody touched or interacted with him beyond the bare minimum it took to keep him safe from any potential respawns, and it was likely only the colony elders who even had direct access to him in the first place. THAT BEING SAID..... GODS THATS FUCKED UP I LOVE IT. And, well, i suppose one Watcher did feed on him.. which was Grian himself, as he emerged from his Player cocoon. Player!Grian's final moments of agony and terror were amplified to the max as his Watcher-self's very first meal, and that haunts Grian a lot late at night if he lets himself think about it

The duress he was placed under to become a host in the first place involved a significant amount of heightened emotional leverage though, thats for sure. One of these days i need to map out how exactly that went down, but i know that it involved an offer that was not actually an offer, several lies through omission, intimidation tactics that spanned the entirety of Evo in the first place, and using Grian's own fear-- both of them, and for his friends-- against him. Real fucked up situation all around 😔😔😔😔

General populace does not know much if anything about the Watchers!! The Watchers are, aside from this one colony, pretty much extinct; even before that, they relied quite a lot on camouflage and secrecy to keep their presence from being discovered, both by their prey and by the Seekers that hunted them.

Some very very old Players might know whispers of information-- rumors from the tail end of a game of telephone, as it were. And there are for sure a few individuals here and there who know of them due to personal experience (including the entire Evo crew, which was ofc a special case), but because Player information is not centralized in any capacity in this universe, the vast majority of Players have zero knowledge that Watchers even exist, let alone what they do and how they feed.

Pearl, with her previous knowledge and experience with Watchers and how they operated while involved with the Evo server, made some really good educated guesses about how Grian works and what's going on with him. And ofc everyone on Hermitcraft, plus all the lifers, knows that Grian at the very least can manipulate Player emotions to an extreme degree-- putting those context clues together, you can piece together quite a few connections. She doesn't have the full picture, but at this point in time she's basically figured out a good chunk of it. The rest will have to come from Grian himself >:]

[4phr0d17e]

ok now that ive finished it heres my tgr thoughts

ok lets start with the bits i loved:

i almost screamed when we saw andrew and kevin on page and the fact that neil didnt tell either of them he was going to california AND that they instantly knew that he was behind graysons death. DELICIOUS. tbh every time any of the foxes were on page i was smiling so big

the ravens getting suspended so early??? INSANE choice that i dont think any of us saw coming, like in the last 10 years of fic we always had a crazy trojans-ravens rematch. i cant deny i was dying to see the trojans wipe the floor with the ravens like they deserve to but at least this way jean never has to visit evermore again😍😍😍 that whole scene was truly incredible though like dan tackling someone to protect kevin??? the fact it took multiple people to pull andrew off the raven who hurt neil???? the fact that matt and aaron INSTANTLY went for the ravens who attacked andrew??? NEILS BROKEN RIBS??? that last part is 100% gonna come up again, idr who knows about it but as soon as one of the trojans connects jeans broken ribs to neils theyre gonna know exactly how jean was injured

also the scene with jean having his breakdown in front of rhemann almost brought me to tears ... "fathers" 😭😭😭

OHHHH how could i forget, when jean throws bryson into lailas car!!!!!! what a fucking MOMENT jean moreau u will always be famous. and in the same vein the game where he says to his mark in french "you should be glad they have be on a leash" LOVE IT. character capable of insane violence just barely being held in check MWAH

and then the bit where hes teaching the freshman drills and he automatically raises his hand to strike them and then just bolts in the opposite direction😭😭 jean my baby i would love to know what was going on in his head at that point

its also very interesting how neils plan of "tell the fbi abt his father but nothing about the moriyamas" seems to be .... disintegrating ... the fact that so many outsiders are aware of something being super sus, what was that line? something like "how come two major crime lords got their sons into class 1 exy?" my prediction for book 3 is another ichirou appearance. idk what the fuck hes gonna do but hes gonna do something im so sure of it

this was only briefly touched on but jean getting to play without being injured .. my personal headcanon has always been that even though jean is already an incredible player hes actually better than anyone could have imagined bc hes always had to play through injuries, and that when he fully recovers hes simply unbeatable

also the whole "exy is not fun" exchange was so interesting ... makes me wonder if somehow jean will get a future where he doesnt have to play exy ......

ok now to my critiques. disclaimer that all of this is said with love and i will follow noras characters to the end of the fucking earth

but WHAT is up with the pacing?? in the original trilogy each book took place over ~3 months or so but in 2 books we havent even gotten to halloween?? how will we make it to finals in the last book??? either the last book will be a chonker or we will finally start getting small timeskips, tbh tho both are good options

i wanted so much more exy than we got, the practise scenes were amazing with jean doing his whole "just call me and you will recieve the ball exactly how you need it" AMAZING SHOWSTOPPING INCREDIBLE but then during the games the pov is so checked out .. i understand the narration will never be the same as neils but like, during the second on page game it wasnt even stated who was winning until the end???? i ws literally reading like COME ON GUYS PAY ATTENTION PLS

also this isnt a big deal but i cant be the only one who noticed the epithets💀 "the frenchman" "the grey-eyed backliner" nora come off ittttt just say his name!!!!!!!

anyway in conclusion: cannot wait for book 3. thank u nora for my life. if any of my aftg mutuals want to hop in my dms PLS feel free im clawing the walls over here

[nintendont2502]

up to uhhh mag 96. thoughts. theories. incoherent rambling. etc etc

(previous post so i can find it later)

fuck elias

FUCK elias. i hate him i DESPISE him i need him dead and that cant even happen bc everyone else i actually give a shit about will die!! fuck me!!

(thats if i take elias at his word, anyway. and while i dont trust him as far as i can fucking throw him..... this seems like the kind of bullshit hed pull. sigh)

glad weve moved on from 'jon has an extended breakdown bc he thinks his coworkers want him dead' to 'jon has an extended breakdown because he thinks his humanity is slowly being eroded away'. worst part is he might actually be right this time

as cool as it is learning more about what it means to be the Archivist/pupil/avatar of the Eye, i am.... incredibly concerned about Jon's compelling

both of them, really. his whole 'compelling people to tell their stories/answer his questions' thing probably isnt going to get him killed at least (unless he keeps trying to get answers out of things that Do Not want to fucking answer, anyway) but,, idk. personally if i was already worried for my coworkers' safety *and* about how much of a human i still am, i probably wouldnt handle the knowledge that ive been unintentionally forcing people to answer my questions against their will for god knows how long that well yk. (and god i have so many questions about that - is it only for questions relating to their stories/statements, or is it any question he asks/command to tell him something he makes? does it only work on tape, or can he do it at any time? does that make any difference to the guy who already thinks (and has had it drilled into his head multiple times) that hes becoming an inhuman monster and just found out hes accidentally controlling people?)

on the other hand i think his compulsion to read any statement hes given absolutely could (and probably will lets be real) cause huge problems. hes already said that reading statements takes a toll on him *and* that he "loses" himself when he reads them (im assuming some Avatar of the Eye bullshit,, channeling it or smth idfk) so like. what *im* hearing is you could just hand him a statement so hes completely off guard and then stab him while hes in the middle of it.

and yet he KEEPS FUCKING READING THEM IN DANGEROUS PLACES. yes this is about mag 96. yes this is about jon sitting in an abandoned fucking depot that he *knows* held a shit ton of dangerous paranormal bullshit (AND A BODY) and just. going into a trance for fifteen minutes to record the stupid fucking story stupid fucking elias left for him there. either he literally cant stop himself from reading any statement hes given (dangerous) or hes just chronically stupid (lethal) and either way. that makes me so fucking worried every time he reads a statement

^ that being said he has taken time between getting a statement and recording it, right? (mainly thinking of the one at georgies where he waited for 4 days before finally recording). i do think those pauses are just from him researching first, which... makes sense. compelled to research, compelled to record - compelled to know, compelled to behold

on the topic of Eye bullshit. i was joking in the liveblog channel about how lame it is that Elias (some fucking freak that just (?) worships the Eye) has more cool Eye related powers (recording statements that have never been given. knowing when daisy was going ot show up to kill him. knowing way too fucking much) than Jon (Pupil/Avatar of the Eye who apparently only has the crippling statement addiction and inability to stop prying to show for it) but,,,, that feels. intentional. and very much like its a good thing

every other avatar/worshipper of different Fears we've seen has like. a running theme of calling out to their fear. willingly feeding it. gaining power, but losing themselves in the process. becoming what you worship and abandoning the person you once were yk.

Elias says it himself. the Eye watches and observes and records. it never interferes. its entirely passive, and hes just. so fucking detached and emotionless and doesnt seem to give a shit about anyone or anything outside of achieving whatever goal hes decided is the "correct" one - sure, he can do more cool shit than Jon, but... at least Jon still feels like a person. at least Jon still cares

"I don't want to, but it's my nature now, and you can't fight what you are." < horrifying quote from a statement that i Cannot stop fucking thinking about in the context of Jon and the Eye and Elias. god

anyway speaking of things im worried about. oh my god im terrified for literally everyone in the archive (except Elias. fucker). basira was forced to essentially sign her life away while melanie did the same of her own free will (...?) and im honestly not sure whats worse but jesus christ neither of them are good!! tims just. completely and utterly given up and oh my god im so fucking worried hes going to do something stupid. martin keeps recording statements and jesus fucking christ i hope that channeling the Eye (or whatever the fuck it is they do that makes them essentially feel what the statement giver's feeling) that often doesnt have any side effects (...outside of the. yk. emotional damage that comes with constantly being forced to experience peoples worst moments. he sounds so fucking rough every time he finishes a recording i hate it). jon's.... jon. shes not technically part of the archive but if anything happens to georgie im killing everyone in this building and then myself. ive already been promised that nothing bad happens to the admiral and thank god for that

fear patch notes bc there were a few interesting new developments + potential theories in the last few episodes:

finally have a name for the fire fear! also more concrete information on it which is always nice

The Desolation/The Devastation. seems to be focused on senseless destruction (homes. lives. bodies). just happens to frequently manifest as fire

also got more info on the End which is sick. all i had before was that it seemed to be about death/the inevitability of that, but i can comfortably expand that to the ending of anything and how everything is running out of time. life. the world. the universe. everything will end, everything has already ended. emptiness and hollowness and nothingness.

currently have three potential new fears im keeping an eye out for which is fun:

some sort of. body horror/body mutilation fear? potentially natural things being warped and shaped and reconstructed into something completely unnatural (maybe by some outside force? distinguishes it a little more from the Stranger's theme of the familiar made wrong yk - those were never normal to begin with, while the horror here lies in them *starting* as something natural?). im the most confident in this one so far since it has a Leitner associated (The Boneturner's Tale) and Jared keeps showing up in relation to it. theres our first avatar! maybe!

i can only really define this one as like. the anti-vast. spaces far too small. tunnels shrinking around you. caves with no exit. a compulsion to dig as far down as you can until the earth buries you completely. claustrophobia fear, i guess, although i feel like it being one specific irl phobia is... a limited scope. theres probably more. ill keep an eye out. associated leitner here too with that one nameless digging book on the beach

meat fear. im still on this one this HAS to be a thing. “Slaughter and butchery”. “meat and souls and blood”. damaging and tearing and losing and regaining flesh. the physicality of it, the pain and meat and blood.

im... tentatively retracting the thing i said earlier about different fears not being able to work together, considering there was literally an entire statement about a Stranger manifestation and a Desolation avatar working together. so thats.... concerning

(if The Key of Solomon had to be destroyed because it contained elements of several different fears + was too powerful to be controlled.... thats. very concerning)

tbf. the Stranger and the Eye have been established to be like. polar opposites of each other/conflicting (order and understanding and knowing vs things that are incapable of being comprehended or understood), and there seems to be something going on with the Web and the Eye, *and* Desolation manifestations have involved the destruction of Web aligned things multiple times so. im onto something. pepe silva image here

^ yeah im still not dropping the Eye/Web working together thing. or... manifestations of them temporarily collaborating to achieve the same goal, anyway. the archive *is* Eye territory, the being forced to read statements/voiceacting them thing is almost definitely an aspect of the Eye, but..... idk. theres no way the Eye (which has been established over and over again to be a passive observer that hasnt once acted) is the thing keeping everyone trapped there, yk? that doesnt align with any manifestation of it weve seen so far. the Web binds them in place and the Eye observes?

begs the eternal question. what the fuck does the Web get out of this. the Desolation working with the Stranger (if that wasnt just a one off) makes sense, since the Unknowing seems to be right up their alley, but. i cant really see a solid reason why the Web cares about the archive.

i dont know. funny podcast drives me insane. i ahve zero predictions for whats going to happen next outside of jon having a crisis over his humanity but i can hope!! im not even asking for much ill jsut take like. jon having an actual conversation with another person that isnt elias. go talk to martin and get him to stop recording statements and also be so nice to him. go make sure tim isnt going to kill himself or kill elias to take out all of you. go bitch at melanie for a while. go apologise to basira for dragging her into this. georgie was a good start (and god. he actually sounded like a real, functional person talking to her,,,,). keep that streak going

also ive finally caved and made a spreadsheet (that i need to go back and fill out with shit i forgot to write down from old statements)

we stay winning

[sieglinde-freud]

so the way endings in awakening work is a bit off if you have the gay mod because it reads single people normally, but married people have the man’s ending read, and then his wife just. attached. and so that alters which ending you see for both of them. unfortunately, that means if i have f/f pairs, which most of them were, i dont get to see any because none of them were read. and at least with the second gen, i did almost entirely f/f pairs, which dont show up, or m/m pairs, which had nothing written, so. everyone please give it up for gerome and cynthia, the only second gen ending i got to see!

😭😭 good for them!!! anyways unorganized final thoughts under cut so i dont have to make a whole other post for it

awakening lunatic sucks! but project thabes makes it suck a little less. in all honesty i had a lot of fun, awakenings a good game to revisit, and finding a way to make it challenging while being able to use my favorite units (awakening second gen) ever was awesome. normally having all 13 (or 14 in this case, with both morgans) would break the game, but lunatic kept the enemies strong, so it didnt matter what my units had. i actually got overwhelmed a lot 😭 HUGE difficulty jump between hard and lunatic all i’m saying. and then the games like “hey now u have lunatic+ if that interests you” NOOOOO THANKS.

anyways. here are my top three guys according to the medal thingies at the end

im so proud of them :3 of all the kids really but yeah these three were huge standouts. virion actually got a change in the mod where one of his subclasses was swapped for myrmidon, so yarne got to inherit astra which was actually insane? it procced ALL THE TIME so. that was crazy. chrom!inigo and fred!cynthia are always good thats not new but they were really clutch in the last few chapters. i had them both hopping around classes for most of the game bc thabes redoes skill progression so. IT TOOK CYNTHIA SO LONG TO LEARN LUNA. ITS FROM WYVERN LORD. GOD. she went through a LOT of classes yall dont even know. also honorable mention to marc and morgan, the best rallybots ever, and dancer lucina, who was outserving everyone she was in a scene with. my girl.

like ok serving cunt on the back of the god youre about to kill? get it girl!

anyways so for second gen pairs i did: lucina/f!morgan, owain/m!morgan, inigo/laurent, yarne/brady, severa/kjelle, nah/noire, and cynthia/gerome and you know what. i think i have a great taste. a lot of these were born from being unable to do other pairings but thats ok. i liked how it turned out. though i was gonna do nah/noire anyways because they were actually like. an insane duo. honestly im surprised noire didnt get a medal thing bc i feel like her nostanking with nah backing her up got me out of so much shit. maybe its because i didnt see her ending… oh. oh wait thats probably it. well. anyways.

i think awakening is not a properly balanced game, nor are the maps made for a difficulty like this. towards the end game especially, the maps are just. flat. most of them anyways, and they just become really repetitive and bland and boring. and despite this being the game with the tactician character of all the time, they dont really allow you flexible strategies, because if youre not pair up stat stacking, you will die! and that sucks. mid game is alright, but the last arc is really weak and kinda dampered my whole experience. im glad i did it, but i wouldnt actually reccomend it to anyone unless you like to play like that (which is totally fine! its just not my thing). definitely requires some solid planning as well. all in all, not the worst fire emblem ive played but… well. im not doing it again. ok anyways heres inigo mouthing off at grima

[sodaquail]

Dude I’m so hyped for your werewolf AU, you have no idea. I’m the biggest werewolf!Chip fan out there. Anyways, if you want asks (sorry if I misinterpreted your post):

What type of werewolf are we talking here? Classic bipedal or twilight style giant wolf? Somewhere in between?

Are any of the other characters werewolves, and/or does Chip know any others?

Is lycanthropy a known thing? How do people react?

One of my D&D books has a section on lycanthropy, and while you can play player characters affected by it, it goes hand and hand with the Evil alignment (it’s an older book, not sure about lycanthropy in 5E). Is this similar in your AU, or are werewolves misunderstood?

Don’t feel obligated to answer any of these haha, I understand that they could definitely lean into spoiler territory, I’m just so excited!! :D Werewolf world building is the best.

Im sooooo glad to see you're excited!!! I can totes add you to the tag list ^_^

for the TYPE of wolf... I totally leant more into mythology rather than werewolf movies. ive never actually watched a werewolf movie (although, a friend said wolfchip would be like the wolves from twilight so now im planning a marathon with IRLs.... oops) I'm doing a lot of worldbuilding into the nature and magic of werewolves and that stays hidden but.. - physically they are BIG. like twilight wolf sized... big big. - They have no tail (a mythology thing for werewolves!! common for creatures rumored to just be witches in disguse actually) I was VERYYYYYYYY much not going to pull the werewolf pop culture thing and have some 'weird human-wolf hybrid cross' because i did not like the idea tooooo much..... would rather be taken out back and killed with bricks than make chip bipedal wolf-man hybrid thing.... noooooooo...... also in human form werewolves are distinctly inhuman!! Won't go into TOO MUCH worldbuilding of mine but essentially, among other things their wolf form and traits fluctuate with the lunar cycle. on new moon they're indistinguishable from human, on full moon they're fully wolf, and all inbetween is a mix of traits. It all depends on when you catch em, whether it's day or night, whether it's new moon or close to full moon.... you might not know what you're signing up for if you find a normal person on the full moon only for them to change as the lunar cycle goes on, lol. but from mythology these are the traits which often identify a werewolf in human form - unibrow (not giving chip this one. no dice) - low, swinging stride (yes!) - lower set ears (also yes!) - when the skin is cut, there is fur under it! (yes, but i felt might be too obscure for people.... not included in common werewolf pop culture sadly...) as well as a few special things of my own!!! I ALSO HAVE A PHOTO OF WHAT WOLFCHIP LOOKS LIKE!! i found this on a dog grooming video on tiktok and went 'thats wolfchip."

2) Yes! I have one confirmed werewolf NPC (of my own making for the purposes of the story) and am toying with the idea of making another character a werewolf. It won't be too big of a deal though... just a neat little reference!! 3) now THIS is staunchly spoiler territory!! sorry dude!!! 4) this is also spoiler territory but what i will say is that I did not go off of DND modules (although it wouldnt hurt to give them a read...)!! I play BECMI and 5e as my DND modules among other TTRPGS but i did not lean from any of them. Honestly, I didn't take much inspiration for my werewolf worldbuilding outside of some mythology shit (and not a lot, anyway). I think i just went off the general, well known werewolf myths and said 'ok what can i do with this' and i sewed and cut and now it is a new beast. it is MY beast. TYSM for your questions!!! Hope you enjoy the final project ahhhh...... seeing the answers for the spoilers in the fic will be SO much better than reading them here i swear :3

[michameinmicha]

Hi Micha,

Re: your post about the two people gifting each other fics for the same pairing continuously - I suppose it's possible the time frame and number of fics might fit another set of fandom friends, but I have a suspicion I'm one half of that. A regular reader nudged this post my way, actually. If so, I'd just like to thank you very much for not naming the fandom, pairing or usernames! It's the kind of ship that leads to us getting harassment on a semi-regular basis anyway (hence the locked posting of fics), and we don't need more of that.

As for the true love thing - we started gifting each other in exchanges because we both realised we've been madly in love with the same character in that fandom since we were children. So FWIW, you're right about the true love, but in the wrong way. :D

Hello! (I saw you sent this last night? (Well where i live it was night) and i wanted to take some time to write a proper answer (although now it got super long sorry))

(Edit: You know what, im putting this under a read more, its not gonna be interesting to most people who aren't the anon anyway lmao)

Im happy to hear from you (and if you wanna chat off-anon feel free to dm me) and just judging from your message i also think you might be right! (Ive seen a handful of pairings mentioned in the notes who might fit but arent the one i talked about, ...i cant explain it but i have a feeling it might be you)

At first when i made the post i didnt expect it to get this big but when it did and some people started to ask or make guesses about the pairing i was curious if anyone would guess right (and really didnt believe it could happen tbh) but then it kept getting bigger and people took it as a challenge and i finally i decided i didnt want to say it anyway. Im glad your little corner of the internet stays calm and nice <3

I hope you dont mind the post, it really touched me to see your works and i just wanted to share that experience and make others feel a bit of this emotion too.

i was too shy to comment on the fics i read (sorry im working on getting better at it) but im hoping you'll read this answer so i want to use this opportunity to say some of my thoughts (I would have liked to send you some friendly anons to say this back then😅 but you didnt have tumblrs linked in your ao3 profiles) i enjoyed reading your stories a lot! I had some really stressful weeks when i came across the pairing tag and even though im not really in the fandom myself (besides enjoying what i knew of the source material years ago) i was happy to find it! it was such a nice little treasure, this collection of stories to read when i was feeling down and they cheered me up a lot! So yeah im sorry to hear you get harrassment for it but i for one am glad you post the fics despite that, because then i could find and appreciate them! (this all sounds very sappy but i mean it!)

Im happy that you two found each other! I gotta say 'true love' to me is just as much platonic as romantic (like, the relationship i have with my best friend isnt anything less than true love to me) but i also think its wonderful that you share that love for your character!

I hope you two are doing great, please tell your friend that i appreciate their work (and yours of course!) And i wish you that you can keep doing this for as long as it makes you happy!

[ted-calling-orson]

LONG ASK IM SO SORRY

ok im sorry to enter ur askbox but i cant just contain this to tags and like. you are SOOOO right for liking kermit !!! sad mf. love him. also can i just say- WHY is there NOT more fanfic im SORRY but. if we have so much crackfic of modern presidents or even actual fic/oneshots of other presidents, PLEASE give us TR / TR fam fic !!!! id eat that shit UP. i got so tired of it i published my own tr kiddos fic istg its either anon or on my acc i can find it

and im so confused on why NATM teddy aint got more fics that at least mention the kids OR siblings. sorry this is gonna be a long ask. but really !! like. theres maybe 5(?) max fics ive seen mention them. a few in the Treasured Collection NATM fic series, and maybe one or two loose ones around. im SOOOO close to writing a self indulgent fic for it. again srry for how long this is. but i never come across tr fans. rlly i swear. also so right for liking the muppets (Fozzie my beloved <3)

oh !! and the cartoon network idea??? YES. absolutely. id watch it. 10000%. i think presidential cartoons should exist more, beyond episodes in preexisting shows. itd be so cool!! ive watched possibly every documentary i can find on TR/show that features him (like The Alienist) i need some lighthearted stuff.

finally idk if youre big on reading books or trilogies but if you can id recommend reading Edmund Morris' trilogy on TR if you haven't yet. the final book ending had me crying at 7am december 2022 like 10 times.

p.s the erb rap battle was so silly and im so surprised i saw nobody in the comments mention quentin with the line churchill shot of TR's family dying prematurely. sorry for the length of this ask--and dino au is so cool and i wanna hear all abt it !!

-🦆

OH MY GOSH THIS IS LIKE A DREAM WHEUSHSUWJWKEKWKWKWJNWJWIXJWBWIDJISJEBDISJSISJSIS oooo we should be best friends ooooooo. Also dw about this being too long you are literally one of my favorite people of all time😭‼️🙏

on the Kermit thing: YIPPEEE‼️‼️‼️ finally another Kermit fan😭 the only other recognition he’d get was from some Indiana jones mini series. Id love to write Roosevelt fan fiction but I don’t like posting my stuff on tumblr (usually my fics are for me and my friends⁉️) but ey, maybe I’ll post something🙏

ALSO MUPPET FAN‼️‼️‼️ my favs are Dr. Teeth and Kermit

on the natm thing: YIPPEE- I wanna write about my au so bad cuz I’ve got so many ideas for it especially for Elliot and Theo’s relationship bc their rivalry was so bad it extended into their daughters. Evil Elliott seemed like an awesome concept and what if he dragged Corinne into it??? Wieihdjehsjs

the tv show: OK OK SO I had a HUGE concept of this show. First off: it’s like your avid 2000s sitcom but with art‼️ The Taft’s (and in later seasons, the Wilson’s) are their neighbors and T.R and W.H.T would have silly angry dad neighbor hijinks (and they both hate the Wilsons together), Alice is the popular girl and there was gonna be a whole episode on her affair with William Borah, Kermit is the shy kid that gets into scuffles with Ted jr, Quentin and Archibald are the spoiled younger sibs, Ethel is the neutral younger sister and Edith is the mostly annoyed mom. Also Quentin and Charles Taft are best friends and I’ll prolly write more ideas for it but I do have designs for Kermit, Ethel and Alice:

anyway, you don’t know how excited I got when I saw this in my inbox😭 but yeah I love your stuff man! Pls post more Teddy stuff I thrive off it im literally one of 5 Theodore Roosevelt fans

ALSO IM GLAD YOU MENTIONED THE RAP BATTLE CUZ- I think that line is about most of his family dying fairly young (Theodore sr., Quentin, Elliott etc) and not just his kids but I could be wrong the fandom wiki of erb is so 50/50

[chaiandsage]

Heyo!

I just wanna say i finally finshed your trust life fic after, admittedly, a long time (I struggle with long fics and typically hate reading them) it was really great I actually had a lot of fun reading it! Im really glad your fic could be the first lobg fic ive read in a really long time and encouraging me to step outta my confort zone for that kinda stuff :} anyways I did actually have a question belive it or not, I was wondering if you had any tips on writting in character for them (them being the traffic games characters) and for writting longer fics?

Hi! Thank you!!

I’m not surprised it took you a while. When I went back to read it all myself, it took me literal weeks to finish, lol. But thank you for giving this one a try anyway. It’s great to know that you still enjoyed it even though it was out of the norm for you

For your question, I think a small, but effective way to achieve that would be to make sure a character’s dialogue includes phrases or words that they usually use often. Same goes for their tone too. So like, I know that people like Joel and Bdubs are usually loud talkers whereas Etho and Lizzie are more on the quiet end. So maybe just try to reflect that and keep things consistent unless the situation calls for something else? I’ll also just try to read things over in that character’s voice and if it feels wrong coming out of their mouth, then I change it according to what feels more accurate

Aside from dialogue tho, you could also try seeing how others seem to write them most often and work off of that? Sorry for the vagueness. I’m not sure I’m the best person to give advice on that subject 😅

Longer fics however… If you’re asking how to stretch a fic out, I think one way to kind of cheat at that would be to have the story take place from more than one perspective. That way there’s twice or more the amount of potential thoughts, problems, backstory, and development to cover (learned this the hard way)

—But if you’re asking how to write a GOOD long fic… I mean, I’d say it’s very important to have the gist of what you expect to happen be already established front and center in an outline. That way you’re not unprepared for anything and have already gotten one of the most difficult parts of writing it done (imo). That’s not to say that straying from your outline is a bad thing. If anything, depending on your story, it could kind of function as a safety net for that sort of thing. So no matter how much you decide to change, you at least know what direction you’re meant to be going in (I really hope I’m making sense here…)

ALSO—keep around a journal, or a notepad, or a log on your phone, or whatever so you can jot down any random ideas that you think would be cool to put in your story that might come to you whenever. Don’t trust yourself to remember to add them in once you start writing, because you won’t/lhj

If your fic has a lot of characters in it, then also make sure to write down and keep track of their relationship or current standing with other characters. For example, it wouldn’t make sense for two people who had beef three chapters ago to suddenly be cool or indifferent around each other the next time they meet up without there having been some kind of resolution (internal or otherwise) in the middle of all that. If someone gets into an argument with another person and then doesn’t see them again for a few chapters, their immediate thought upon seeing them for the first time again, in my opinion, shouldn’t be a cheery or neutral one. Maybe they cooled down a little between those chapters, but I don’t think the problem should have just fixed itself with time alone. That goes for a lot of other situations too

So, yeah, that’s pretty much what came to mind for me. I don’t consider myself an expert on any of this so please feel free to take it with a grain of salt. Regardless, I do hope you’re able to write out what you had in mind :)

[transhawks]

i didn't experience abuse from my parents, so im not sure i can completely empathise, but i can clearly understand what you wanted the message to be in the snippet.

even reading in canon chapter 299 and the todoroki ones next i always felt i could understand where keigo was coming from with the whole endeavor situation. obviously a fic is a fic and canon is canon, but your characterisation of keigo has been one of the closest to the source material ive found

i think i will cry when the full chapter of minutes is going to be available, having a taste of what i will find :") im not one to comment on fics, but i'll make sure to leave feedback if i remember, that is :v

I'm glad you like Minutes! Trying to stick to what a canon Keigo might do has been something I've tried to retain even as I put him through a lot of things that make him change his mind. And when people question Keigo's attachment to Endeavor it's honestly been my go to way of dealing with it as "Keigo is mentally ill and traumatized so unless you are able to understand that mentally ill and traumatized people often have maladaptive coping habits and irrational or non-coherent views as symptoms of their mental illness, this isn't a conversation you should be having." Surprise, surprise abuse fucks you up and you often do fucked up shit in turn.. that's like the biggest indicator of being fucked up, actually.

I truly think discourse suffered severely when we whole-heartedly leaned into believing the idea of "they did this shitty action because they are shitty not because they have xyz" as a way of combating excuses instead of recognizing often the reason anyone knows they have xyz is because of that said shitty action. And I think my approach is clear in how I discuss abused people and victims. I don't expect the higher moral position from victims - victimhood just makes you someone who was harmed, not a martyr or a saint for said suffering.

I bring this up because I think it's one of the ways I feel understanding Keigo is easiest - he was born in a drastic situation, separated from society until well into childhood, abused and neglected likely from birth, and then institutionalized into what was a child soldier/assassin camp. I'm surprised he's not worse than he is.

Anyway the final chapter of Minutes is...a roller coaster. You get Enji and Hawks, and then two surprise characters he's already interacted with in previous chapters. Honestly, he has a really unhinged moment in this chapter because I'm not leaving this story without a reminder he's kind of crazy, even if he now regrets what he did. I'm really excited to show you guys the chapter - I hope it just satisfies people. You know, I want people from all walks of life to just feel "Yeah, I can see that happening and this was a good end to the story". It has a bit of wish fulfillment, me playing with my own theories of how quirks work, and ultimately the idea that Keigo's cage has always been himself.

I love comments! You're free to forget to leave them but I really adore hearing what people think. That's what makes fanfic so engaging to me - the community aspect of it.

[kasaneteto]

been thinking about this guy a lot. dont read under the cut if you dont want persona 4 spoilers or dont want to hear me talk about how i used to wish this guy would do nasty things to me because of my trauma

first of all this is not a character analysis this is my very personal relationship with the character. second of all this is normally the kind of thing i would put on my private instagram but my roommate is currently playing p4 & i dont want him to get spoiled. so sorry that youre subjected to this i guess. anyways.

recently something ive realized about myself is that i am a HOPELESS romantic. i require something to pour my affections into. & if that isnt a person WELL its gonna be a fictional character. for me the adachi blorboism started right after i ended my first real “relationship”. i say “relationship” because it was less of that and more of me being groomed by a guy 5 years my senior. unfortunately, this guy was what got me into persona. he asked me to watch the p4 anime with him and that was it for me lmfao.

so wtf does that have to do with adachi. well i didnt think it had ANYTHING to do with him until recently. being in therapy has allowed me to really dissect the way my environment has manifested in my behaviors and atp im confident in saying that getting groomed is pretty much the reason i love adachi so much. groomer man was the literal definition of a nice guy, like i made a nice guys finish last joke to him once & his actual response was “but it’s true though…” and he was SO bummed when adachi was revealed to be the mastermind. he was all “ooouuhhhh it sucks because he was such a good character before that”

so i got out of that relationship, had clarity over the fact that he had been manipulating me the entire time, got my hands on my own copy of p4 (i had still only seen the anime & played arena atp) and when i got to adachi’s monologue i was like. THIS GUY IS AWESOME!!!! HOW IS HE A WORSE CHARACTER FOR THIS!!!! im realizing now that travis (groomer) probably felt very attacked by adachi’s motives. & not only that but that i felt very comforted by how blatantly evil he is. that sounds really weird so let me explain.

i saw (& honestly still see) adachi as someone who’s a product of his environment. he felt trapped & suffocated by inaba, felt mistreated by his superiors at work, and with being given access the tv world found something that he felt he could control, which was fun for him in a world of boredom, of which he felt like the victim. i related a lot to that feeling of being trapped somewhere you can’t escape from (both because of my relationship & at the time living with my parents) and really appreciated his fucked outlook on life. not like. the misogyny part. just the whole “life only favors the lucky ones” sentiment. i also saw him as a much more honest & self-aware version of travis. he knew he was doing bad things to people who didn’t deserve it, and his justifications were just “i was bored”. unlike my ex who probably still sees himself as a victim

idk! i guess the takeaway here is that there’s still so much more to me than i know. im learning new things about myself every day. im very glad to finally be on this journey of self-discovery. ive always been a really introspective person but i dont think i ever asked myself WHY? why am i like this. like actually. so im doing that now. & the answers are actually pretty fucked up! ive always played down my trauma because its what my parents and a lot of my peers did. my “best friend” as a kid (she was honestly just a bully) didn’t believe me when i told her that my parents fought. like it was so much worse than i allowed myself to believe. i played down getting groomed because I wasn’t like r*ped or anything (he touched me with my permission but no insertion happened idk if that counts as r*pe) but whenever i tell people that my parents were not only okay with it but allowed him to come visit me from Canada and STAY AT MY HOUSE….they are always shocked. because thats so fucked up! like… what!

alright ive really gone off the rails with this but in conclusion: adachi is a piece of shit and thats why i love him. he’s my disgusting babygirl. my awful little mongrel anime husbando. & you dont get him like i do

[iamthecomet]

There is something truly fucked up about finally having the insane desire to write (no more writers block), AND THEN NOT HAVING THE TIME TO WRITE.

School has been railing me in the ass so I havent had time to sit and write. All of my ideas and damn near fully formed stories are just floating around in my head— taunting me. I cant wait to catch up on kinktober. There’s so much in my head that I just dont have the time to get out onto paper.

Anyways. There’s Vee’s yelling of the week cause no one irl knows I write, so I cant bitch and groan to them.

How have you been?

No writing time for me, but I’ve been making time to consume kinktober works (obviously you included). And Ive gotta say, this is one of the very. very few things getting me through it all. Its all so fucking good. Everything.

Shit has me barking.

Have some nipples as a thank you.

Also. Idk of it’s exactly what you’re into. But did you see the Sick New World lineup? Im so gd upset I cant go. It looks so cool. I like upwards of a dozen bands playing that day.

This happens to me WITHOUT FAIL when I'm driving, or in the shower. I hope that school stops railing you and you find the time to get the words out soon! I'm trying to get caught up with Kinktober, and having a blast with it. I'm glad that you're enjoying reading it. There is SO MUCH GOOD SHIT. I haven't gotten caught up with everyone else's writing/art (or my own) yet and I'm trying, but it's HARD. It's such a good month. I'm so glad October exists. Sick New Word lineup is VERY good. Honestly if I lived near there I'd think about going SOLEY for System of a Down since we all know they're never going to do an actual tour again. I just want once chance to see them live, JUST ONE. But besides them the lineup is STACKED, and it's going to be an insane show. Thank you so much for the NIPPLES. I love this picture of him very much.

[wosopatri2]

Feliç Sant Jordi! Sorry for the late well wishes my life’s been hectic. Was going to send you something yesterday but I fell asleep. WAIT BEFORE I FORGET. I know I just asked for pics but I was wondering if you had any photos that are like landscape(?) is that the English word? Like the dimensions for a laptop background or something. My iPad currently has a background of the pitch with a small edited love is love text on it. I love it but I don’t feel the safest anymore (one of the guys that constantly sits beside me in class is homophobic) so I’m looking to change it. I’ll take any photo, unless you have one of like the barça pitch or smth.

Well life update, the usual. I catch up on work, work catches up on me. I want to drop out. Rinse and repeat. Hope your life is more entertaining than this currently. Speaking of which, how’s studying for that exam going? Wait im just making an assumption here but you need to read and digest a lot of information when you study law right? Do you have any advice on reading like large quantities of words. For one of my subjects it’s pretty much just a word jungle every week and honestly the more I read the less I feel I understand. Like everything goes through my eyes into my brain and registers before slipping out of my mind forever. How do I memorise so much content 😭 It was fine at the start but the content is getting ridiculously lengthy now and it’s hard to find the will to read all that when I have 500 other things due.

Okay now what I actually wanted to talk about when I started this note. IVE BEEB LISTENING TO LOLA ÍNDIGO. idk that many of her songs yet but I really like La Reina (haha like Alexia). I swear that song is on loop on Spotify. Quick funny side stories, when initially finding her songs, I was very drawn to Q SOMOS. First, the cover of the mv. I’m not sure if you are familiar with the word gaydar (look it up if you aren’t) but something about the way the two of them were hugging in the cover told me that the mv had fruity vibes. So I watched the mv, liked the song and thought wow those two have so much sexual tension I think I could cut it with a knife. BUT THEY NEVER KISSED. So I was confused as to if I was just seeing things or if they were actually queer. Anyways I found out from some TikTok that the song is in fact queer? And my gaydar was correct? Feel free to correct me i had to consult Google translate multiple times so it might not be the most accurate. I think on reason I felt like the video tipped me off was the fact that it reminded me of the song What I need by Hayley Kiyoko. It has similar vibes, and that song is very much gay.

Anyways speaking of gay, your new fic? Girl I’ve missed your writing. It’s so good. I don’t usually like Irene but goddamn that was hot. If there are any old fics of yours you want back, I can scroll my reposts and see if I have it and maybe copy and paste it over idk. I’m so glad to see you’ve found joy in writing again :)

Btw do you go to the gym regularly? I’m asking cause I would love to go regularly but I just don’t know what to do when I’m there so I need some help. TikTok keeps giving me like a bunch of excercises but they require machines my gym doesn’t have. Sorry for asking for so much today, idk why I just have a lot of questions right now. I’ll listen to the rest of the music you recommended (when I don’t feel like dying to my work) and let you know what I think of it. Love you, xoxo 🌹 (They send roses on sant Jordi right im not the most familiar with the tradition sorry, FINAL QUESTION can you send roses to anyone? Or just a lover cause I send this rose in a very platonic way idk how this works.)

Feliç Sant Jordi, for you too even if it's a day behind.

First of all, never apologize for being late, especially when you’re living that “work chases me down a dark alley and beats me up” student life. I get it, trust me.

I’m really sorry you’re in a space where you don’t feel safe having “Love is Love” on your screen. That really fucking sucks and I hope it gets better at some point and you don't have to hide anything.

Yes, for law we read a lot. Like, borderline ridiculous amounts. Honestly, there were times I’d finish a reading and immediately forget what I just read two minutes later. What’s helped me is summarizing as I go. I force myself to write (or say out loud) what each paragraph was about in a super simplified way. Like “this says X and that means Y.” Then I try to condense all of that into flashcards or bullet points. I also try to use real-world examples or stories to anchor it to memory (especially for dry theory). Another thing? Spaced repetition. Reviewing the same concepts a little every day rather than cramming helps it stick way better and don’t be afraid to skip and come back later, if your brain’s foggy, pushing through isn’t always worth it.

Now onto the more fun stuff LOLA ÍNDIGO. I love that you’re listening to her now! “La Reina” is such a banger and the Alexia connection? Iconic and it's actually her song (fun fact Alexia and Lola are friends). Your gaydar is absolutely on point about “Q SOMOS”, it’s definitely fruity. The tension in the MV is not subtle at all, and no, they never kiss, but you’re not imagining anything. That whole song has that aching queer yearning energy, like “we almost had something and we both know it but can’t say it” vibes. (Also yes I know “What I Need”, you’re so right, same kind of emotional chaos). Lola really stays feeding the sapphics.

Okay but THANK YOU for what you said about the fic, I was so nervous posting again. I haven’t written properly in ages and I’m still not fully confident but reading that made me grin like an idiot.

Gym stuff, honestly, I do go semi-regularly but I’ve also been in your shoes. My best advice is start with basic movements and focus on form. Like squats, lunges, pushups, dumbbell presses, simple, no-fancy-machine stuff. Most gyms have at least a few dumbbells and a mat, and with that you can do a lot. And hey, if you ever want I can help make a super simple routine you can follow. Just let me know what kind of goals you have (strength, cardio, vibes, revenge body, etc).

Also yes, roses on Sant Jordi are tradition! You give a rose and a book to someone special so that means to friends, family, professors… even strangers in the street that you feel a conexión woth. So your rose is perfectly placed and I really appreciate it.

Take your time with the music recs too, and keep asking all the questions you want. I love when you do that .

Love you lots 🌹

PD: Almost forgot the photo, this one for the game against Madrid at Camp Nou (I think this is one of my best photos ever) and I hope it fits great for your background.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

april intentions

okieeee so i didnt really get into it properly in my journal so here will have to do. ive missed the feeling of the keys under my fingertips, so perhaps it was meant to be this way.

ive been sitting like a mother hen on all my ideas and dreams and desires for quite some time now. i hadnt had the means or the motivation to make it happen. i was so sad, and depleted and i truly just didnt have the energy to do it. and thats OK. and im glad ive taken this time to convalesce, to heal, to process. was it trauma? not quite. it was actually all just a big wake up call. and it was heard loud and clear - things needed to change and i think im ready to re-enter the world with my newfound perspective.

first of all. i will not be entertaining men or relationships anymore. flings, sure. but no love, not the kind im looking for at least. love can be fleeting and temporary. it should be, actually. i want to spend this precious moment studying myself, falling in love with her and loving her, caring for her, growing with her, and learning. and i am. i am pouring back into myself. im cooking fun recipes and having fun with it. i have ideas and im not afraid to chase after them. the pressure is dissolving bit by bit, as my confidence in myself grows, and i give myself the space and grace and patience ive been so desperately seeking. my love is my writing. my reading. my dancing. my singing. my relationship with me.

next... i will find a way to adapt to my newly discovered work fatigue and tendency for burnout. i can still work hard and make money and have fun doing it, without hurting myself in the process. and with that money - i can do everything i ever imagined. be the woman i want to be.

what will i do with my financial freedom, You ask? well... i have big plans. i want to join a heels class, and once i build my confidence as a sexy badass dancing queen - i will step into funk or hiphop or wherever my heart takes me. in the meantime, ive already signed myself up for a traditional performance for new years. and you best believe i will practice it until i am dancing in my sleep, because this matters to me. i will pay the deposit for my dj training so i can master creating music - FINALLY! this could be the opportunity ive been looking for, to create music and use my voice to actually share my talent. so watch this space, God, maybe ill be singing for people besides myself one day. next, i will either go to an archery or shooting range or both. these ones are less urgent to me, like i want to do it but its dear and kind of a once off thing. but i want to do it, its fun and me and very Aries energy. not sure about the shooting - it could be a bit dark and sad knowing what guns are used for. maybe not the shooting actually. maybe just the archery. anyway.

i will transform my relationships by uprooting everything i ever knew about communication, authenticity, and using my voice. the womens retreat started that for me. this is important for me to master now, or i never will! and it will come in handy. whether or not my current friendships survive the change or not, more are coming, and until i learn my lessons God wont let me have them. so i will embrace the discomfort and find strength and power in my ability to own my flaws and mistakes, to apologise for them, to speak on them.

i have 8 months of free real estate. 8 months of complete and utter mystery. i can do whatever i desire. i might get to do childcare. i might not. i might become a professional makeup artist. that one is more likely. i might become an amazing dj - highly possible. but theres more. i want to find more streams of income, somehow. i know there is more that i am meant for. im still not sure what, but i want to enjoy the not knowing. i want to take pride in the magic and mystery of who i am. i will wake up one day and realise it all fell into place under my nose. i feel like thats how things always happen for me. so instead of focussing my energy on the fear and worry, ill redirect it into what i do know, where my joy is, when i feel full and happy and magic. its gonna take time, and work. i know... ill stay in my lane and figure it out. its my job to do. its mine and mine only...