#anyways i probably missed some details but i tried

[avourel]

thinking about Shen Jiu - not something I usually do, he's not my blorbo, but i saw an animatic that got me thinking - no wonder there are so many people obsessed with him.

three reasons, i think, make him prime blorbo-estate.

the first is the obvious one: he's so present in the entire story, and yet he's absent for all of it. and we know so little about him. this is catnip for fan obsession, of course tons of people would love to write/read/discuss him.

the second one is the sheer tragedy of his death in SV: he's dead and no one knows. he died unnoticed, unmourned, unremarked, and got no closure for anything - not even his death. the world went on turning, like nothing happened here. you know how they say the opposite of love isn't hatred, it's indifference? yeah.

so of course this would eat up people from the inside. this is why i think YQY being "sad" that SY hasn't "recovered his memories" or "preferred his old self" is so common in fics. people can't stand the way Shen Jiu vanishes from one moment to the next and no one even knows to miss him, so they try to solve it by having someone, at least, notice and want him back. because no one deserves to go like this.

and the third one, of course, is that he could so easily have been the protagonist instead. i mean, prodigy with a tragic backstory that clawed his way to power trying to come to terms with the betrayal from a loved one, unable to forgive and yet equally unable to leave him behind, having to see him constantly? trying to appear civil while seething in bitterness and betrayal and whatever other feelings he harbours towards YQY? if SJ were in any way inclined to - he absolutely was not - he could have tried to unwind the whole thorny issue with YQY and it could have been an entire new novel.

there's juicy, juicy angst, competence, a high position, enemy sects, secrets, people from his past that might show up... AND a prospect for revenge: if the story were from HIS perspective, we'd probably want to see YQY "defeated" in some way - forced to explain breaking his promise at last, for example. we'd want to see Shen Jiu vindicated, somehow proving his innocence towards everyone who ever slandered him... anyway, yeah, protagonist material.

no wonder tons of people just want to put him in the sandbox and play, and the strong emotions towards him and the potential for stories there kind of makes people forget the details of his personality and the abuse towards LBH a little, or bend them for storytelling purposes. he's a character with lots to play with.

[suitsimp]

probably doesn't look that great but i attempted to draw Valarie Bronev and Clayton Bronev from the How Things Change au by @multiversal-madness

also i want to point out i attempted to make their poses be similar to some poses done by a certain top hat wearing professor that Luke is missing very dearly, cause i think it's neat and sometimes you just gotta make a child cry

[wintrwinchestr]

strangers | part 1

summary: following in the footsteps of a girl you once knew, you decide to up and leave home one morning without looking back. when you find yourself to be tired, hungry, and alone in the middle of nowhere, you're thankful when a kind stranger offers you a ride, a warm meal, and a place to sleep for the night. he only tells you about himself in bits and pieces, but he seems trustworthy enough, and what you don't know can't hurt you, right?

!!PLEASE READ WARNINGS, THIS IS A VERY DARK FIC!!

I've tried to label this fic as detailed and as boldly as possible. I will not be held responsible or bullied off the internet if you choose to read this potentially upsetting/triggering work of fiction anyway.

warnings: joel miller x f!reader, 18+, smut, age gap (reader is college-aged, joel is mid-50s), no outbreak au, serial killer!joel, dark!joel, talk of death/murder and blood, mommy & daddy issues, brief talk of domestic violence, lying/gaslighting, manipulation, f-receiving non-con somnophilia (no sex, but groping, fingering, dry humping, kissing, and choking), degrading language toward victims, pet names (baby, darlin', sweetheart), some joel pov, no ellie/sarah but tommy has an unnamed daughter, somewhat inspired by "strangers" by ethel cain, takes place in illinois/ohio/indiana, vaguely set in the 70s/80s, this part is mostly introduction/storytelling/yapping, please respectfully let me know if i missed anything and i will rectify the tags

word count: 9.8k

a/n: i started this as a oneshot way back in november, and then it sat abandoned for a very long time. thank you to my lovely friends @polaroidpascal and @chippedowlmug for encouraging me to finish it, and also bestie kiers who never hesitates to match my freak. also thank you to the many writers who made me feel inspired to write something dark and not give a fuck what people think about it. i hope you enjoy this joel he's a freak and i love him and if you say anything mean about him i'll send him after you <3

divider by @saradika

series masterlist/moodboard

read this chapter on ao3

part 2

Ruby Carpenter.

You had spent all day trying to remember her name without really knowing why. Maybe it’s because as the sun sets on what would be the first day of your junior year at the nearby state school, you wonder if she ever made it to one of the fancy ivy leagues she had always aspired to attend. You wonder if she’s even still alive.

Ruby had disappeared a few years ago now, the summer after your senior year of high school. For nearly a year afterwards, her missing posters remained stapled onto every telephone pole and stuck onto every store window around town, until the paper began to disintegrate and the ink began to fade. In that time, you couldn’t even make a quick run to the grocery store without being confronted by dozens of replicas of her yearbook photo printed onto the sides of all the milk cartons. Despite all of the efforts to find her, including several search parties and a decent amount of statewide media coverage, everyone had just stopped looking for her, eventually. Even the police. Even her parents.

It was decided that she had probably just run away, and you can’t entirely blame her, but you can’t imagine why she would, either. You remember her perfect head of blonde ringlet curls that shone a yellow gold in the sun, and her bright blue eyes that turned fiery in her more passionate moments during classroom debates. She had every boy in your grade wrapped around her finger, was the teacher’s pet in every class, and it wasn’t even a question whether she would win prom queen your senior year. She was always sweet to you, always complimented your outfits or your makeup or your art projects with a genuine lilt in her voice and a kind smile, so you could never bring yourself to hate her even though it would’ve been so easy to. You figured she was going to cure cancer or become the president after you had all graduated, which is why you never really stopped wondering whatever happened to her that summer. She was beautiful, with boundless potential and a bright future ahead of her, why would she have just given it all up?

Everyone around town knew Ruby, or at least it seemed that way. But maybe nobody ever really knew her as well as they thought. Maybe she’d had a secret boyfriend all that time who whisked her away that summer, maybe she had decided to try drugs and fell down a rabbit hole that she couldn’t claw her way out of, maybe she had finally figured out that the only thing this town would ever be good for is holding people back. Maybe she did just wake up one day and decide to run without ever looking behind her.

Maybe you should do the same.

With your dad long gone now and your step-father doing a piss poor job of filling in the hole he left, following in Ruby’s footsteps has sounded like a better idea with each passing day. Rob isn’t even really your step-father, anyway, just your mom’s sorry fucking excuse for a boyfriend. The guy’s already been married upwards of three times before, why try for another one? He’s a lazy son of a bitch who can’t hold down a job at a fast food joint for more than a couple of weeks at a time, who sleeps every second of the day that he’s not chugging through a six pack, and who leaves marks on your mother uglier than his fucking face. 

She doesn’t deserve to be treated that way, of course, but it’s not like she’s winning the “mom of the year” award any time soon, either. She’s never even been nominated. She’s forgotten just about every one of your birthdays, been the reason you’ve never had any friends come over, and in her most recent offense, blew all the savings you had put away for your last two years of college. Which is why you’re not spending tonight celebrating being one year closer to at least having an official-looking piece of paper to show for yourself. Instead, you’re using the rattling of your bedroom window unit and the booming bass of your radio to drown out yet another drunken screaming match between your mother and the guy she lets live in your house now, watching the world outside pass you by and knowing that if you don’t do anything about it now, you’ll never make it out of here. You’re thinking about Ruby Carpenter, hoping she found somewhere greener and more promising and was able to make something of herself, far away from here. And you’re thinking that this rusted orange sunset is the last one you’ll ever see from your bedroom window.

It’s decided, then. You’re leaving, first thing tomorrow.

—

You’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep by the time your alarm clock chimes to life at five o’clock on the dot. You’re quick to silence the shrill beeping with a swift swat of your hand, careful not to wake anyone else in the house. The sun has just barely begun to stream in through the blinds of your bedroom window, but it illuminates the room just enough for your eyes to land on the backpack you had stuffed full of a few changes of clothes last night, waiting for you by the door. 

You don’t waste any time stripping off your pajamas and pulling on just about the only clothes left in your room that aren’t in your bag. You’ve got your teeth brushed, face washed, and hair tamed in all of about ten minutes, too anxious to spend even one more unnecessary second in this house. You swing your backpack over your shoulder, pull your bedroom door open at just the right speed so that the hinges don’t squeak too loud, and tiptoe delicately down the stairs, careful to avoid the creaky floorboards that you know like the back of your hand—the one three steps from the top, the one at the landing about halfway down, and the very bottom one.

You land softly when you leap over that tattletale bottom step, successful in the most difficult part of your escape plan so far. Rob is passed out on the living room couch in typical fashion, his mouth full of crooked teeth hanging open as his grating snores permeate the calm morning air. He’s still got a death grip around an empty beer can, even in his sleep, and your mother will likely be the one to toss it into the trash for him, useless fucker that he is. You aren’t going to miss either of them, and you imagine they’ll just skip trying to replicate the first half of the aftermath of Ruby’s disappearance altogether—no posters, no search parties, no police. You’ll just be gone, one less mouth for your mother to feed. Though, you’d been mostly feeding yourself since you were tall enough to slide a couple of bills across the counter at the corner store down the street, anyway. You’re ready to disappear, the same as candle wax when it burns, the same as the end of a rainbow, the same as Ruby Carpenter.

You don’t bother looking back when you shut the door behind you, content to leave it all behind just as the sun begins to rise and set the sky ablaze. By the time it sets again tonight, you hope to be in a different county, in a different state, anywhere that isn’t here. The rest, you’ll just have to figure out when you get there, wherever “there” may be.

—

You had only realized about an hour ago that you’d forgotten your cheap digital watch in the drawer of your bedside table, where it’s laid unused for the past couple of months, because who needs to tell time during the summer? You never had anywhere to be, never had to get to class or turn in a paper by a certain time, so it’s just been collecting dust since you had unclipped it from your wrist on the last day of spring semester. It sure would have come in handy right about now, when you have no fucking clue what time it is. The sun had disappeared behind the hills several mile markers back, so it must be… eight o’clock? Ten o’clock? Fucking midnight? You have no idea. What you do know is that you’re exhausted, hungry, and your feet hurt like hell. You aren’t really sure what you expected, the reality only just now setting in that you don’t even have ten bucks to your name anymore, thanks to your narcissist of a mother. The crumpled up bills you do have in your pocket are hardly enough for a goddamn sandwich, let alone a motel room. The cool night breeze raises goosebumps on your skin, and you swear you can see your fucking breath, even in the middle of August. You wrap your arms around yourself just as tears begin to prick at your waterlines, and you let them fall as you collapse onto the scratchy patch of dead grass on the side of the freeway, not a park bench or a bus stop or even a gas station in sight for God knows how many more miles.

You sit cross-legged, elbows propped up on your knees so that your hands can support your weary head, the skin of your palms becoming slippery with salty tears as your crying just doesn’t seem to stop. The road you’ve found yourself on seems relatively low-trafficked, the heaving sounds of your sobs accompanied by more cricket chirps and rustling wheat than rumbling tires. But a few high beams do streak across your vision every once in a while, coloring the backs of your eyelids a flaming scarlet.

After several minutes, your tears seem to dry up on their own, your body likely too dehydrated now to produce any more. You wipe the moisture from under your eyes with the back of your hand, sniffling as you gnaw at the skin of your bottom lip and debate if you should just turn back now, give up on your stupid little plan (or lack thereof) and just call the whole thing a loss, pretend it never even happened. Your mother and Rob won’t have even noticed you’d left.

Just as you pull yourself back up to your feet, set on at least finding somewhere that isn’t the hard ground to sleep on tonight before you make your way back home tomorrow, the warm headlights of an old pickup truck are shining bright in your eyes. You put your arm up to block them as the truck slowly squeals to a halt in front of where you’re standing, and you squint your eyes at the driver as your vision adjusts.

“You need a ride, sweetheart?” A man asks in a gravelly voice, and you can still hardly make out what he looks like. Based on the southern accent you pick up on, he doesn’t sound like he’s from around here. 

“N-no, thank you. I’m okay,” you respond shakily, taking a nervous step back from the stranger and his rusted pickup.

“You sure? Looked like you were cryin’ over here, like you might be lost or somethin’.”

“‘M not lost, I know where I’m going.”

“Oh yeah? Where’s that?”

Shit. 

You take a guess.

“Um… the motel down the road,” you reply, tilting your head in the direction you had been walking in.

“There ain’t a motel down there, sweetheart. Ain’t nothin’ in either direction for miles, ‘s all just farmland out here. Reckon you’ve already figured that out, though.”

You pause, unsure of what your next move should be. He knows you’re lying, knows you’re alone with no fucking idea where you are or where you’re going. You could run, but even that shitty truck of his could catch up to you in a matter of seconds. You take another step back, swiveling your head around to look up and down the road as you try to figure your best way out of this.

“Just lemme give you a ride somewhere, darlin’. There’s a diner just off the exit, ‘bout twenty miles up ahead. Could take you that far, at least, get you somethin’ to eat,” he offers. A warm meal does sound pretty good right now, and you suppose you aren’t exactly in a position to refuse his help.

You think on it for a second. “What’s it called? The diner.”

The stranger huffs. “Moody’s.”

“What do they have?” you challenge.

He sighs. “It’s a fuckin’ diner off the side of the freeway, darlin’. They got greasy food and black coffee, ‘s about all you need.”

You don’t say anything.

Then, after a beat—“They got some kinda sloppy mess they call the Thunder Burger. ‘S got onion rings and shit on it. Ain’t half bad.”

You have to admit, he’s passing your pop quiz with flying colors. His answers have been too quick, too specific for him to be lying to you. There’s a pretty solid chance this diner does exist, and that he’s been there before. The man hasn’t said anything that’s indicated he wants more to do with you than to offer you a ride and some dinner. He’s probably just somebody’s harmless grandfather, anyway, judging by his motheaten flannel and gray-stricken beard you can see now that you’ve approached his truck a few paces closer.

“Okay,” you concede, your stomach growling loudly as the man leans over the bench seat to pop open the passenger side door for you. You shrug off your backpack and climb into the cabin, clicking your seatbelt into place as you situate yourself on the cracked leather seat. 

“All set?” the stranger asks.

“Mhm,” you hum, finally getting a better look at the man you might just owe the rest of your life to after tonight. For being somebody’s grandfather, he’s… kinda handsome. Really fucking handsome, actually, in a rugged sort of way. He’s got warm amber eyes that sparkle even in the dark of night, a kind smile that completely disarms you in an instant, and a splintering scar across the bridge of his nose that somehow only adds to his good looks. You try to suppress your own grin as you look away from him quickly, opting to focus on fidgeting with one of the fraying edges of your denim shorts instead. Even in your peripheral vision, you don’t miss how his eyes shift from your own to the exposed skin of your thighs. He doesn’t say anything, just clears his throat as he shifts gears and steers his truck back onto the road again. 

He lets the next few minutes pass in comfortable silence before asking, “You got a name, sweetheart?”

You tell him, and he flashes another charming smile at you. “I like that, ‘s pretty… Well, I’m Joel. Sure you were wonderin’. Now you ain’t gettin’ a ride from a stranger no more, are ya?”

“Yeah, I guess I’m not,” you giggle, and you’re surprised at how comfortable you feel with him. “So… you’ve been to Moody’s before?”

“Handful of times, yeah. When I’m passin’ through.”

You nod. “So you come up here, like… for work or somethin’?”

Joel chuckles. “Or somethin’. You never even heard of the damn place, so… reckon you don’t find yourself out here very often, do ya?”

“No… ‘M not even really sure where ‘here’ is, to be honest. I just kinda… started walking.”

“Ah… a runaway, then, are ya?” Joel asks, with an appreciated amount of understanding in his tone rather than judgment. “‘M sure your folks are missin’ ya right about now, must have your boyfriend worried sick.”

You scoff at that. “Fuck no. They probably don’t even know I’m gone, won’t even bother trying to come look for me. And I don’t have a boyfriend, so…”

“Damn shame. ‘M sorry about that, sweetheart,” Joel comforts, placing a large calloused hand on your thigh. It makes your breath hitch, but his touch isn’t entirely unwelcome. You let him squeeze once at the plush of your leg before he replaces his hand on the wheel, and your cunt spasms out a little fluttering pulse against the seam of your shorts, despite yourself.

The rest of the drive to Moody’s is relatively quiet, save for the gentle crooning of an old country singer emanating from the cassette player on the dash. The soft singing and steady strumming of a banjo combined with the muffled chugging of the truck’s engine is enough to lull you to sleep, especially after the day you’ve had. You know that just about every mental alarm bell you have should be screaming at you to jump out of the car, to run, that sleeping alone in the dirt would’ve been a better decision than getting into this strange man’s—Joel’s—truck, but you’re too tired to hear them. He smells good, like woodsmoke and pine and cinnamon, and if he wanted to do something awful to you, he probably would’ve done it by now. So you trust him, for now at least, and let your lashes fan out against your cheeks as your head falls back against the cushioned headrest, coaxed into sleep by the lullaby of tires against pavement and fingertips against guitar strings.

—

You only rouse when you feel the truck come to a stop about half an hour or so later, slowly blinking your eyes open against the bright neon sign that reads “MOODY’S” in bold capital letters. Your jaw stretches wide as a yawn overtakes the muscles, and you hear Joel’s southern drawl replace the one from the cassette as he shuts the engine off.

“Mornin’, sleepyhead. Not too tired to eat somethin’ now, are ya?”

Another unpleasant-sounding rumble from your empty stomach answers for you, loud enough for both of you to hear this time. The air puffing out of the diner’s kitchen smells strongly of fatty bacon and rich coffee, just like Joel had promised you the place would offer. Although the digital clock on the dash read just after 10:30 before you fell asleep, you’ve never craved breakfast quite like you do right now. You absentmindedly lick your lips as you imagine the sweet and savory—and more importantly free—meal that could be waiting for you beyond that blinding beacon of a sign.

“Well, alright then. Let’s get some food in ya before you keel over, hm?” Joel says as he exits the truck, landing on his feet in the dirt parking lot with a soft groan. He waits by the hood for you to meet up with him, and you walk up the couple of steps to the entrance together. He holds the door open for you, and you offer him a shy ‘thank you’, to which he responds with a soft spoken ‘welcome, sweetheart’. You stand shyly behind his broad form as he asks the hostess for a table for two, and she leads you to a green leather booth tucked into the corner of the diner. She hands each of you a sticky laminated menu, the pages a charming mess of clashing colors and faded pictures and retro-looking fonts, then departs with a promise that your waitress will bring the two of you some water as you take your time deciding on what you might like. 

You light up upon reading that Moody’s serves breakfast all day, and that they can make you exactly what you were hoping for—a stack of chocolate chip pancakes with sides of bacon and hashbrowns. You can’t help but smile to yourself as you wiggle in your seat, excitedly anticipating the waitress to come back around so you can order.

“Whatcha so excited about over there?” Joel asks, eyeing you from across the table as he glances up from his own menu.

“Nothin’, I was just hoping I could get some pancakes, and they have ‘em on the menu,” you explain giddily. “I’ll probably get some coffee, too, really complete the whole ‘breakfast for dinner’ thing.”

Joel huffs through his nose. “Decaf, I hope. ‘S the middle of the goddamn night, sweetheart. Gonna be bouncin’ off the walls in the room later, hardly get any sleep.”

He’s right, you suppose. But wait—“What room?”

Joel shrugs casually. “There’s a decent motel another exit or two down, figured they could probably get us a couple o’ beds for the night. But, ‘m sorry, shouldn’t have assumed—”

“No! No, it’s okay.”

Is it? You only met the man less than an hour ago, and you already agreed to let him give you a ride before you even knew his name. You suppose you hadn’t really thought about what would happen after he bought you dinner, but not thinking ahead seems to have been a theme today, hasn’t it? You remind yourself that he’s only been kind and respectful to you so far, save for that placement of his hand on your upper thigh soon after he picked you up. But that could’ve just been a friendly, paternal gesture, right? And he said a couple of beds, when he mentioned the motel, which seemed to imply that he plans on the two of you sleeping in separate beds, maybe even separate rooms. You’ve found yourself having to make yet another somewhat reckless decision tonight, but one that would be in your best interest to say ‘yes’ to, at this point. What other option would you have if you declined his offer?

“Don’t really have anywhere else to go, so… yeah, okay. Motel sounds good. And decaf it is, I guess.”

Joel’s apologetic expression quickly morphs into a satisfied smirk. “Good girl,” he praises. You like how the words sound coated in his thick drawl, even though you probably shouldn’t. You shift where you sit as that familiar fluttering sensation returns to the seat of your panties, just for a moment. You’re grateful that the waitress arrives at the booth not a second later, cheerily introducing herself as she sets down a glass of water for each of you. When she asks if you’re ready to order, Joel gestures to you as if to say ‘ladies first’, and you politely prattle off your request. You make sure to emphasize that you’d like your coffee decaf, and ask if she could please bring some more of the little cups of vanilla creamer to the table. “Not a problem, honey,” she replies, and Joel winks at you as she asks what she can get for him. He orders the Thunder Burger he had told you about earlier, and a black coffee, which he doesn’t request to be decaf. The waitress leaves the two of you alone again with an ‘I’ll have that right out for ya,’ and you let your eyes follow the calming baby blue color of her dress as she glides her way back to the kitchen. When she disappears around the corner of the bar, you take the opportunity to study Moody’s other patrons. There isn’t another young person in sight, mostly just men around Joel’s age with similarly heavy bags under their eyes, likely truck drivers indulging in their first hot meal of the day within the diner’s comforting wood-paneled walls. You wonder if that’s how Joel knows about this place, because he “passes through” this area on long hauls across the midwest. You open your mouth to ask him if your assumption is correct, but he cuts you off before you can say anything.

“I gotta admit, sweetheart, I’m curious… The hell was a pretty thing like you doin’ out in the middle of goddamn nowhere tonight? I mean, I know you’re a runaway ‘n all, but… shouldn’t you be one o’ those college party girls or somethin’? ‘M sure you got plenty of friends wonderin’ where you are.”

You sigh, shaking your head as you distractedly pick at a splintered piece of wood at the edge of the table.

“I was in college. Was supposed to be going back again this year, but… my mom spent all the fucking savings I had left for the rest of it on fixing up her dumb boyfriend’s car. It’s just been sitting in the fucking lawn all summer, sure as hell not being used for something useful like going to the job he doesn’t have. That bastard…” You say the last part under your breath through gritted teeth.

“Shit… Tha’s a tough deal, baby, ‘m real sorry to hear that,” Joel comforts. “But y’know, everybody’s got mommy ‘n daddy issues, don’t mean you just up and start walkin’ all by your lonesome, not even have any idea where you’re goin’.”

“Well, it wasn’t just that. There was… nevermind, it’s stupid.” You slump into the cushioned booth, silently cursing yourself for even bringing it up.

“What is it?” Joel pushes, sitting up straighter to show you that he wants to listen, wants to get to know you. And God dammit, he might be the first person you’ve met in a long time who actually seems to care about what you have to say, as strange as it is. You flick your eyes up to his face, and he’s wearing a sincere gaze that convinces you to continue.

“There was this girl I went to high school with. She disappeared a couple of years ago, nobody ever found out what happened to her. People figured she probably just ran away, and I thought… I dunno. That maybe she had the right idea, leaving that place behind. I always held onto this hope that maybe she was still out there somewhere actually doing something with her life, that maybe she just changed her name or something and disappeared on purpose.” You pause. “I guess I just thought I might be able to do the same, if I left.”

“I see…” Joel muses sympathetically. “Maybe I oughta give you a lil’ more credit, then. Must’a been tough losin’ a friend like that, not knowin’ where she ended up.”

“I mean, Ruby wasn’t really my friend. She just—”

“Hang on. Ruby, you said?” Joel interrupts, his eyes suddenly looking a little wild.

“...Yeah. Her name was Ruby. Ruby Carpenter.”

—

Fuck.

Joel has to adjust himself under the table, his dick now hardening uncomfortably in his jeans at just the mention of her name. He remembers Ruby, remembers chuckling to himself when he realized the irony of her name matching the color of her blood, remembers watching the news coverage of her disappearance in this very same diner, those handful of years ago. She was a sweet thing, he remembers this, too. It was a shame she had ended up being such a fighter, that she had to get put down the way she did. But she shouldn’t have thrown that fucking rock at his face, called him a sick fuck and a freak as she made her pitiful little escape attempt. Joel is lucky that all he came away from it with is that ugly little scar that mars the bridge of his nose. He can’t say the same for her.

“Why? You heard her name before?” You ask him, an unfortunate little twinkle of hope in your eyes.

“Maybe.” Yes. “Sounds a lil’ familiar, might remember hearin’ about it on the news or somethin’.”

That goddamn news coverage sure as hell taught him a lesson. Joel had spent months trying to keep the cops off his fucking tail after he had dumped her body on some forgettable patch of land behind an old decaying barn. He had even gotten pulled in for a fucking interview at the station in what he now presumes to be your hometown, where they had questioned him for an hour or so about her disappearance. He still isn’t sure how he talked his way out of that one. Ruby might not have been good for much else, other than pissing him the hell off with all of her pathetic crying and begging to just please, please let me go back home, but she did help him perfect his craft, he can give her that much. It’s because of her that Joel makes certain now that any girl he picks up doesn’t have anybody who will miss her or plaster her face on every local channel or send out goddamn search parties to find her. Girls like you.

You’re just so perfect, it would be so fucking easy for him to make you disappear for good, it’s almost comical. It had hardly taken any convincing at all to get you to climb into his truck, had taken even less to get you to agree to go to some seedy ass motel with him that might not even exist, for all you know. It does, but you didn’t even try to test him about it this time, just put all of your trust in him like a stray puppy would to the first person to pick it up off the street. That is just about what you are, he supposes. So far, you seem like the perfect candidate to become his little captive pet. If you keep it up, maybe you won’t meet the same fate as the rest of them. He’d told himself he’d be done after the last one, anyway, his body too old and achy and slow now to chase after the ones who put up a little more fight, like she had. She’d nearly escaped, made it a decent way through the woods and almost reached the main road before tripping on an exposed root and snapping her ankle. He remembers how weak and scared she’d looked before he’d used his knife to put her out of her misery, and it makes his dick twitch. Joel doesn’t plan on snuffing you out, not right now at least, since you haven’t given him a reason to. But his fingers still twitch where they rest on the table, moving out of instinct as he can’t help but imagine what they’d look like wrapped so tightly around your little throat. Would you cry? Would you beg? Would you pray? Would he have to glide his blade across your vocal chords just to get you to stop screaming so fucking loud? He wonders.

“Oh… Was that one of the times you were just ‘passin’ through’ for whatever reason you haven’t told me yet?”

Joel hadn’t realized that his eyes had been unfocused for so long, or that he’d been holding his breath, or that his hand had been squeezing his glass of water so hard he’s glad it hadn’t shattered. The airy sound of your voice brings him back to reality, and he huffs a light chuckle as he fixes his face into a more pleasant expression. 

“Yeah, ‘spose it was.” 

You roll your eyes at him playfully. “Come on, Joel. I just told you, like, my whole sob story. I feel like I deserve to know at least one thing about you now.”

You have a point.

He gives in. “Fine. I got a brother, used to come through this area when I’d pay him a visit. That good enough for ya?”

You cross your arms. “No. What’s his name?”

“Tommy.”

“What’s he look like?”

“Like me. Little younger. Little uglier.”

You laugh at that.

It makes Joel smile.

Maybe you could be the one he’s been looking for all this time. Too bad he had to waste so many others before he finally got to you.

—

The waitress comes back to your table soon after that, with your steaming plates of delicious-smelling food and hot mugs of coffee balanced expertly on a large plastic tray. She sets them down in front of the pair of you with a cheery smile, and you thank her happily when she doesn’t forget the extra sickeningly sweet cups of creamer you had requested. Joel doesn’t take his eyes off you once during the interaction, not even to feast his eyes upon the monstrous burger now sitting before him, not even as he thanks the waitress for delivering it to him. His lingering gaze makes you feel a little warm, but it could just be from the heat radiating off of your plates.

“What? You’re not getting a bite of mine, if that’s why you’re looking at me,” you tease, already getting to work putting the sugary creamer to good use.

Joel just shakes his head, his caramel colored eyes still never leaving you as your coffee begins to resemble their hue. “No, ‘s not why.”

“Whatever,” you reply through a giggle, making a poor attempt to hide your girlish grin behind the lip of your white ceramic mug. 

The two of you eat your meals in relative silence, mostly enjoying each other’s company and basking in the relaxing ambience created by silverware tapping against porcelain, hushed conversations, and the local country station playing through the old radio sitting on the counter. The reception is a little spotty way out here in wherever the hell you are, so you can’t quite tell what song it is. But Joel seems to know, judging by the rhythmic bouncing of his knee under the table that creates little circular ripples in your coffee. Maybe you’ll ask him what it is later, how he knows it, if you can listen to it again in the truck together. He doesn’t seem to be as much of an open book as you’ve already given yourself away to be, and you respect that about him. It doesn’t make you any less curious, but you resign yourself to getting to know him better in the small doses he’s willing to offer you. 

You decide to begin a mental list of all the things you want to ask him later, knowing that by the time you make it to the motel tonight, you’ll be far too exhausted to do anything more than just collapse onto the springy mattress and sleep until you get kicked out of the room the next morning. You almost wish you hadn’t listened to Joel’s request for you to take your coffee decaffeinated tonight, and you still aren’t quite sure why you did. It just feels so strangely easy to give into him, to trust him, to let him make decisions for you. You suppose that’s what you’ve been needing all this time, someone to guide you and understand you and at least pretend like they care about you. Joel has shown you more concern and care and protection in the last hour or so than either of your parents have pretty much your whole life. And he’s good at this, making you feel wanted, making you feel like somebody, even in subtle ways, just by looking at you.

“A’right, why don’t you finish up, darlin’, ‘n we’ll hit the road again. Practically usin’ your pancakes as a pillow over there.”

“Oh, sorry,” you apologize sleepily, waking yourself up enough to make quick work finishing off your plate and your last few sips of coffee. 

“Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout, sweetheart. Lord knows you need some rest, won’t be too much longer now,” Joel assures, fishing a few tens out of his faded leather wallet and placing them on the table. He slides to the edge of the booth and stands himself up with only a few pained noises as he straightens out his back, then offers his hand for you to take. You use it as leverage to pull yourself upright, and your hands linger in each other’s hold for a few seconds longer than they need to. The hostess thanks the two of you for stopping in when you pass her by, and Joel opens the door for you again as you leave Moody’s. He opens the truck door for you, too, and promises you that the motel is just another couple of minutes down the freeway. You make an effort to stay awake in your seat this time as Joel begins the drive, opting to gaze out the window and focus on trying to make out the sparkling constellations above the treeline. You smile privately at the moon when you find that she’s following closely behind you just as she always does, bright and full. 

She doesn’t leave your side until you reach the unassuming little roadside motel, which to your gratitude, proudly displays their vacancy on the flickering sign in the parking lot. It doesn’t look like a five star joint by any means, but you know it will serve its purpose just fine. Joel instructs you to stay in the truck while he goes about getting a room for the two of you, and you don’t object. He’d insisted that you didn’t need to be on your feet any longer than you already had been today, and you were too tired to argue with him even if you wanted to. When he returns, he taps lightly on the passenger side window so as not to startle you from the half-asleep, half-awake state you’ve found yourself in, and swings your backpack over his shoulder as he helps you out of the truck. He leads you to the room at the end of the row, and the door takes some finessing of the key and a shove of his shoulder to open. Joel flicks on the light, and you let out a disappointed-sounding ‘oh…’ when it reveals your accommodations.

There aren’t two beds like you had assumed Joel was going to request. There’s only one.

Joel catches your reaction. “‘S this gonna be alright? I know it ain’t the Ritz Carlton, but—”

“No, the room’s fine, it’s not that. I just thought… I just assumed that… I didn’t know it was gonna be, like… just the one bed.” You try to explain your discomfort as gently as possible, without seeming ungrateful for everything Joel has done for you tonight.

He looks at you sympathetically. “I know, I ain’t tryin’ anythin’, I swear. Guy told me it was the last room they had, jus’ figured it was better than nothin’.” 

You offer him a soft smile, but your eyes must still look a little wide as you begin to nervously pick at your fingernails. Joel continues, “I can take the chair if you want, darlin’. Get the bed all to yourself, how’s that sound?”

You visibly relax at that, your shoulders deflating as your smile becomes a little more genuine. “Okay, that’s good. Thank you.”

“‘Course, sweetheart. How’s about you take a nice hot shower, rinse off some o’ that dirt you picked up from walkin’ all day… Don’t suppose you got some suitable clothes in here for sleepin’ in?” Joel asks, handing your backpack off to you.

You shake your head. “Just some jeans and t-shirts, and another pair of shoes. And… y’know, some underwear, and stuff.”

Joel pinches the bridge of his nose, then rubs his fingers across his forehead exasperatedly. “I swear… it’s like you didn’t think there’d be a tomorrow or somethin’, girl. Christ.” Joel looks out the window to his truck parked just outside. “Tell you what, think I got somethin’ in the truck you can wear. Why don’t you see if they got anythin’ on the TV tha’s worth a damn, ‘n I’ll be back, alright?”

You nod, “Okay,” then set your backpack down on the drab carpet in favor of picking up the remote perched in front of the small square television. You sit yourself down on the edge of the bed as Joel leaves the room, and begin to flick through the few channels that aren’t just a screen full of snowy static.

Local news. Commercial. Game show. Commercial. Documentary. Commercial. 

Eventually, you land on what seems to be one of those old black-and-white western shows that you can never remember the name of. You only know that the reruns used to play on Sundays around lunchtime, because Rob would always be half paying attention to it with a beer in his hand when you and your mom would get home from church. For how adamant she was that you attend every weekend, she sure never called him a harlot and a sinner for not wanting to go with her. You’re not sure she had ever even tried to get him to go, but he probably didn’t own anything decent enough to wear, anyway. Whatever, fuck them. The show seems like the kind of thing Joel would like, so you let it keep playing. 

He comes back a moment later with a small stack of folded up clothes, tossing them over to where you sit on the bed. You unfold what he’s given you and examine them—a pair of simple pink cotton shorts, and a white tank top with a ditsy floral pattern scattered across the fabric. The clothing is a little more revealing than you’d like, but you figure you’d be a hell of a lot more comfortable wearing them to sleep than the denim shorts you have on now.

“These are… great. Thank you, Joel. But…” you snicker. “Should I be concerned that you have a very convenient supply of girls’ clothes in your truck?” Joel scoffs. “‘S for when I got Tommy’s kid with me, smartass. He’s got a daughter, few years younger ‘n you.”

“Okay, well, I dunno how I was supposed to know that, but… as long as you don’t have a girlfriend who’s gonna come after me for wearing her clothes.”

Joel only chuckles in response, his attention suddenly pulled to the TV.

“Gunsmoke, huh? ‘S a good choice, definitely what I’d classify as ‘worth a damn’.”

You smile to yourself, and his approval makes that warm fluttery feeling return to your belly. “I didn’t even know what it was called, just seemed like something you’d like.”

He turns back to you. “That obvious, huh? ‘S just ‘cause I’m old and southern, ain’t it?”

“Maybe a little,” you admit, making a pinching gesture with your hand.

Joel nods as he makes his way over to the armchair on the corner of the room, collapsing onto it with a groan. “Well, why don’t you go ‘n get yourself all changed and cleaned up, ‘n if you’re quick enough maybe we can finish the episode together and then get some shuteye, hm?”

You swiftly unzip your backpack to retrieve one of your clean pairs of underwear, then bound over to the small bathroom with them and your new change of clothes in hand. It’s not the most spotless one you’ve ever had to use, but you’ve honestly seen much worse. You rinse off quickly in the steaming shower, using the scratchy motel-provided washcloth to scrub the dirt from your legs, stuck to you with the sweat you worked up from God knows how many miles of walking today. 

Today. You can hardly believe it hasn’t even been a full 24 hours since you left home yet. It seems like you’ve already known Joel for days, maybe even years, as silly as it sounds. You wonder if he might just take you in after this, or if he’ll have had enough of providing for you after just one night. He seems like a man of limited means, and he’s already given you so much. If you’re brave enough, maybe you’ll ask him tomorrow, when you get to the ‘so… what now?’ part of your time together.

For now, you step out of the shower and dry yourself off with an impossibly scratchier towel, then pull on your panties and the tank top and shorts Joel provided you with.

Jesus, how much younger is Tommy’s daughter?

The shorts just barely cover your ass, and there’s a sizable gap between their waistband and the bottom hem of your top. The thin, white material of the shirt only serves to accentuate the way your nipples poke through the fabric, but you suppose there isn’t anything you can do about that.

You quietly crack open the bathroom door, and are somewhat relieved to find that Joel’s already fallen asleep in the chair. You do wish you could’ve finished the episode of Gunsmoke with him, but the end credits seem to be rolling already anyway, and you’d rather avoid being seen in your very ill-fitting pajamas. Although, you do wonder if he’d say anything, or if he’d just let his hungry gaze linger in silence again, holding himself back from touching you beyond a comforting pat on the thigh.

You pick the remote up off the bed and use it to make the TV screen sizzle to black, then tip toe over to the lightswitch by the door and turn it off, the room now completely shrouded in darkness. Joel snores softly from the chair as you blindly feel your way back over to the bed, pulling the covers back and nestling yourself underneath them. The bed is surprisingly comfortable, considering, and it doesn’t take long for your exhaustion to catch up with you. Your thoughts become slower and slower along with your breathing, and you’re asleep not even five minutes after your head hits the pillow.

—

The last room they had, yeah, right. You’re just the most pathetic little thing, aren’t you? You’ll believe just about anything that comes out of his mouth if he turns up the ‘southern charm’ dial a few ticks, throws in a feigned apologetic-looking expression for good measure. It’s sad, really. For you, anyway.

Joel fakes his snoring for another thirty minutes or so, until he’s certain you’re sound asleep. He had heard your breath even out almost immediately after you had tucked yourself in, but he had chosen to lay in wait for a little while longer, just to make sure you wouldn’t put up too much of a fight when he made his move. You don’t seem like the type, considering how you’d hardly argued with him at all tonight, like when he had convinced you to forgo the caffeine with your dinner. There’s a reason he wanted you sleepy and subdued tonight, but you didn’t know that. Joel likes how well you listen to him, how easily you do as he asks.

He also likes how warm you are, how small your body is compared to his own, the difference in size especially prominent now that he’s laying snugly against you, his front pressing firmly into the back of you. You don’t wake from his lumbering movement, only coming to slightly when you feel his arm slide underneath your body, his warm hand snaking its way beneath your tiny shirt to squeeze at your plush tits. 

You mumble out a little “Hm?”, which he’s quick to quiet with, “Sorry, darlin’. Chair was too hard on my damn back. Just go back to sleep, ‘kay?” That chair felt like laying on a goddamn cloud compared to some of the other surfaces he’s found himself having to sleep on before, but again, you don’t know that, and what you don’t know won’t hurt you. You probably won’t even remember this in the morning, how his hard cock is slotted so perfectly against your ass, especially without the confines of his thick jeans holding him back. They’re discarded onto the floor now in front of the armchair, along with his flannel shirt and jacket. Joel holds you tightly against his bare, hairy chest as he circles a roughened pad of his finger around one of your nipples, smirking to himself at how quickly the bud hardens from his touch. He knew you wanted this, and the wet spot that the fingers of his other hand are teasing in the gusset of your panties is proof of it. How long have you been leaking for him like this? Had you been soaking the seat of his truck earlier today? Filthy thing.

You still don’t rouse when he pulls your panties aside and slips a finger inside your slick cunt, or when his grip on your tit loosens in favor of sliding up higher under your tank top, his hand coming to a rest around the base of your throat as he pumps his finger in and out of your tight heat. It would be so fucking easy…

But he can’t, he won’t, because you’re not like the others. You want to get to know him, you let him take care of you, you seem to like his company, and you don’t leap out of bed and call him a fucking perv and a dirty old man for what he’s doing to you. That’s what the others would have done. It’s what they have done. And they faced the consequences.

But you’re different. You’re not like them. You’re like him. A lost soul, that’s what you are. Nowhere to call home, no one who misses you or loves you or gives a damn what happens to you. Joel’s mouth had tasted bitter when he had told you about Tommy, or rather, lied about him. Joel hasn’t seen the fucker in years, certainly doesn’t pay him any visits or watch his brat, not since Tommy had learned the truth. You better not show your goddamn face around here ever again, you understand me? Tommy had spat at him. You’re fuckin’ sick. Only reason I don’t turn your ass in myself is ‘cause you’re my goddamn brother. But if I ever fuckin’ see you again, I won’t hesitate. Better make yourself pretty fuckin’ scarce ‘fore I change my mind. That might’ve been about the only time Joel had ever taken orders from his little brother. 

That bitter flavor is cut by the sweet tang of you that he tastes on his finger now, so young and eager and fresh. The hand around your throat squeezes a little tighter, and Joel’s hips begin to move against your ass as he allows himself to suck wet kisses onto the skin under the hinge of your jaw. Softly, gently, so as not to wake you. He could come just like this, using your pliant body in your sleep, rutting himself against your still form with the taste of your pussy on his tongue and his fingers pressed against your pulse points.

He’s close when you stir again, making broken hiccuping sounds as you choke on your breath.

“Shh, shh,” Joel soothes. “You’re alright, sweetheart. ‘S just me. Just—fuck—hold still, go back to sleep, baby.” You let out a quiet whimper, squirming against him just a little bit, but return to your unmoving and silent state a second later. Joel finishes himself off quickly with another couple of shallow thrusts against you, his large hand still gripped around the column of your neck, trying to stifle his groans as he spills into his briefs. He removes his suffocating hand and keeps you pressed tightly against him for a while after that, tanned arms wrapped around your waist and breathing in your scent as he waits for you to settle back down. 

When he’s sure he won’t disturb you again, Joel releases you from his hold and pads quietly back over to the armchair, redressing himself and resuming the position you had left him in. In the morning, if you do remember any of it, you’ll just chalk it up to a very strange dream, one fueled by the desire he knows you’ve felt towards him since he picked you up. You’ll be left with a strange assuredness that he feels the same way about you, without really knowing why. 

But Joel will always know.

—

The digital clock on the nightstand only reads around 8:00 when you’re awoken by a beam of sunlight shining brightly against the backs of your eyelids, streaming in from the window’s lopsided blinds. You had gone to sleep with your back to Joel, but you find yourself facing him now. He looks kind of peaceful when he’s asleep, that permanent furrow etched between his brows finally smoothed out as he dozes. A small smile tugs at the corners of your lips, but they fall quickly when you adjust your legs and feel the cool dampness against your core, the sensation bringing back the memory of the dream you’d had last night. 

It had felt so real, but it couldn’t have been, could it? There’s no evidence that Joel had really laid next to you last night, that he’d really touched you like that, that you’d wanted him to keep going. It must just be some kind of strange side effect of the affection you feel toward the man who had rescued you, more or less. You’ll likely just part ways after today, anyway, so it’s probably best to just try and forget about the whole thing, put on a fresh pair of underwear and pretend it never happened. 

Joel is awake by the time you’re done freshening up in the bathroom, and he greets you with a raspy ‘Mornin’, sweetheart’ as you retrieve your backpack from next to the bed and shove your ruined underwear into the bottom of it. “You get some good sleep last night?” He asks, rubbing a hand over his eye.

“Mhm, the bed was nice, more comfortable than the one I had at home, honestly.” You finish zipping your backpack closed and sit back down on the bed, pulling on some socks and the lace up sneakers you had been wearing yesterday. “I hope the chair was okay, like, for your back and everything.”

“What makes you say that, baby?”

You pause in the middle of tying one of your shoelaces, turning to look at him with a confused pout. “Didn’t you…? I thought you had told me something about how the chair would be hard on your back. Like, last night.”

Joel frowns, shaking his head. “Don’t think so, darlin’. Chair was just fine.”

“Oh… Well, that’s good.”

Maybe it had just been a dream, then.

Joel hands you a few bills from his wallet, and tasks you with getting the two of you some breakfast from the gas station across the street while he cleans himself up. He tells you that he doesn’t eat much in the mornings, but that you can get yourself whatever you want, as long as you bring him back a carton of cigarettes and a black coffee. You obey eagerly, retrieving what he asked for and getting a pack of miniature powdered donuts and an equally as sugary coffee for yourself.

He’s just stepped out of the bathroom when you return to the room, and your face feels hot when you see him with his dark hair slicked back and wet from the shower. The few strands that fall onto his forehead as he laces up his boots almost make him look a little boyish, despite his whitened temples. 

“Such a good girl, thank you,” Joel praises when you hand him his items. 

You respond with a shy ‘You’re welcome’, but he doesn’t miss how you seem to light up at his words. You plop yourself down onto the worn-in chair that Joel had used as a bed last night, happily munching on your gas station donuts and sipping on your coffee. It all makes you feel warm from the inside out.

But you figure you should find out what the rest of today might look like before you let yourself enjoy the beginnings of it too much.

“So, um… We’re just gonna check out this morning and then… what?” 

“Whaddya mean, baby?”

“I mean… are you just gonna, like… take me to the nearest bus station or something?”

Joel’s confusion is written all over his face, embedded deep into those lines between his brows. You could swear he almost looks a little hurt. “Why would I do that? ‘S that what you want?” He asks softly.

You try to backpedal a little, afraid you might’ve offended him or seemed ungrateful in your question. “I just thought it might be what you want. That you probably have somewhere else you need to be, like Tommy’s or—”

“No, I don’t,” Joel says definitively.

You pause. “Okay, so—”

“You ever been to California?”

His question stumps you for a moment, seeming so random in its nature. “No.”

“You want to?”

You shrug. “I mean… sure. Maybe someday—”

“Why don’t you come with me then, baby?”

You let out an awkward giggle. “...Come with you where?”

“To California. Come with me.” Joel’s tone is genuine but firm.

“Like, today? Are you sure?”

“I mean, we ain’t gettin’ there today, darlin’. But yeah, I’m sure. We both got nowhere else to be, do we? So let’s just go, we’ll see it together.”

You beam up at him, realizing that he’s being serious. Joel does want you, wants you to be his companion, maybe even something more that you’ll discover on familiar-looking back roads and in cities you’ve only ever seen pictures of. 

“Okay,” you agree excitedly. 

Joel nods. “Okay, then. Lemme go check us out ‘n we’ll get back on the road again. Burnin’ daylight already,” he jokes. He carries your backpack out to the truck for you, setting it down between your feet after he opens the door and helps you inside with a stable hand. It only takes a few minutes for Joel to hand in the room key and pay for the night, and then he’s back at your side. You begin to feel like that’s where you always want him to stay. 

“So, where to first, baby? California ain’t goin’ anywhere, can take as long to get there as we wanna. We’ll go wherever you like, take your pick.” Joel leans across your body to dig a folded up map out of the glove compartment, handing it to you. 

You examine it, your eyes darting across the dozens of dots with the names of cities next to them, some you’ve never even heard of. You point to one that you have heard of, but have never been to, because you’ve never even left the state you grew up in before.

“Um… how about Detroit? I’ve heard it’s nice, I think.”

Joel belly laughs at that. “It ain’t, but sure. You wanna go to Detroit, that’s where we’ll go. Buckle up, baby,” he instructs, patting your thigh. You oblige, and it feels good to finally know where you’re going, and that you’re going there with someone who cares about you, who feels safe, who wants you around. You also feel a little hopeful that maybe you were right about Ruby, after all. That you didn’t start walking for nothing, that you weren’t following some childish delusion, that if something as good as Joel had happened to you when you left, that maybe she had found herself on a similar path, ran into somebody good who took her wherever she wanted to go and helped her find someplace she belonged. Maybe she found her way out to California, eventually. What you are certain of is that neither of you ever have to go back to that town ever again, and that feels good, too.

And if it feels good, then it can’t be bad.

tag list: tag list: @beefrobeefcal @iamasaddie @rebel-held @dilfgestivo @zliteraturehoe @joeldjarin @kamcrazy123 @hellowoolf @rexamongthestars @stevie75 @luxurychristmaspudding @noisynightmarepoetry @mewantpeepaw @pedritoferg @alex-does-art-things @evolnoomym @annoyingmarvelreader @k1l4ni @joelsdagger (if your name is crossed out, it won’t let me tag you!!)

[saphronethaleph]

Literary Illusions

“It’s ironic,” Palpatine said, shaking his head. “He could save others from death, but not himself.”

Anakin frowned.

“And this is something the Jedi wouldn’t have told me?” he asked.

“Of course not,” Palpatine replied. “Is it a story you’ve heard?”

“Well, yes,” Anakin said. “Just now, from you. But not before then… and that surprises me, Chancellor.”

Palpatine shrugged. “I think you’ll find, Anakin, that the Jedi have not been telling you everything.”

“Maybe not, but… honestly, that sounds like exactly the kind of thing they’d tell me,” Anakin said.

Palpatine frowned.

“...what?” he asked.

“You know,” Anakin said. “Some Sith Lord works out how to bring people back to life from the dead, but his apprentice kills him and doesn’t bring him back to life because the Sith are inherently self destructive. If the two of them had worked together and been able to trust one another, they’d have been immortal.”

He shrugged. “It’s a good illustration of the inherently self destructive nature of the Dark Side, and it’s the dichotomy of how the Dark Side leads you to seek power in order to achieve goals that you then discard as irrelevant, because they’re not directly related to gaining power… hold on a second.”

Palpatine was a little distracted by trying to avoid mentally kicking himself, so it took him somewhat more than a second to notice what Anakin was doing.

“...Anakin?” he said. “Are you getting your comlink out?”

“Yeah,” Anakin replied. “Going to text Obi-Wan, ask him what he thinks of the story. Maybe there’s some kind of detail I missed which makes it less of a good illustration of the different worldviews and mindsets of the Jedi and the Sith.”

The Knight shrugged, his thumbs tapping away at his comlink. “He probably knows it, he knows all of the old stories.”

Palpatine blinked several times.

“...don’t,” he said, then very discreetly scrambled for a reason why. “It’s the middle of a performance. We don’t want to interrupt them.”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s on silent,” Anakin replied, with a shrug. “Or vibrate. Did I put it on vibrate… hang on, Chancellor, I’ll make sure it’s on silent…”

He turned the comlink over, then a loud bwing sounded.

“Oh, right, I forgot to set it to do not disturb mode,” Anakin said. “Hang on… uh… yeah, there we go, I forgot I added all these custom modes. I’ve been missing a lot of sleep lately.”

“Perhaps-” Palpatine began, but Anakin spoke over him.

“Huh,” he said. “He says he’s never heard of it either. Wants to know where I heard about it, it looks like he’s really interested… or maybe he’s trying to tell me about a death stick vendor, he’s terrible with multiglyphs and he thinks he’s good at them.”

Anakin glanced at the Chancellor, hoping for some solidarity, then visibly noticed that the Chancellor was several decades older than him and abandoned that.

“Is there a book I can get the whole story from?” he asked, instead. “Obi-Wan is better at nuances, like I say.”

“That is not the point,” Palpatine said, trying not to get visibly angry. “The point is that there is a way to save your loved ones!”

“Maybe there used to be, but not any more,” Anakin shrugged. “Like you said, this was a Sith thing and the Sith are all dead. Well, unless General Grievous is a Sith who knows how to heal people, but I doubt it given how much he got hurt, and I’m not sure Dooku knew it either… hey, if this story needs to be publicized more then maybe we could have them do a play of that instead?”

Palpatine blinked several times, as he tried to keep up with a Jedi with possible undiagnosed ADHD and found himself discovering a lack of talent for podracing.

“What?” he asked.

“You know, a play,” Anakin explained. “Dramatic betrayals, lost loved ones, it would probably do numbers. It’d be better than this, anyway.”

He waved his hand at the ongoing performance of Squid Lake.

“...what is wrong with Squid Lake?” Palpatine said, before reflecting that that had really been a stupid question for him to ask and that he should have asked a much better one.

“Well, uh,” Anakin began, looking a bit abashed. “Actually now I say it out loud this might be really culturally insensitive of me, but to me this play might as well be eighty minutes of people boasting about having enough water to swim in.”

“It’s a ballet,” Palpatine told him, now completely having lost control of the conversation.

“It’s just a less scary version of Sarlacc Pit,” Anakin went on. “Someone tried to drown me in a lake once, because they thought I couldn’t swim, but floating on sand is much harder, you barely have to do anything to escape a lake. You just float.”

Very belatedly, Anakin caught sight of Palpatine’s look of total befuddlement, and shrugged.

“Watto was a lot of things,” he said. “But he had culture.”

Palpatine’s hands twitched, as he very seriously considered the idea of abandoning literal centuries of Sith planning and decades of personal political advancement in favour of stabbing Anakin somewhere it would hurt.

It was extraordinarily tempting.

“...hold on,” Anakin said, slowly. “I guess… the thing I’d like most at the moment is for… and that means… this is literally one of those times when I could fall to the Dark Side because of it, like Darth Plagueis.”

He bestowed a grateful smile on Palpatine. “Thanks, Chancellor! I need to make a call, I guess the ballet won’t mind.”

Palpatine was so thrown by the swerve that he couldn’t think of a way to stop Anakin in the few seconds he had.

“Love?” Anakin said, into his commlink. “I… think we need to come clean, because otherwise I’ll fall to the Dark Side.”

Palpatine’s eye twitched.

[gayferrari]

can you share about the interview with jules bianchi's dad and what he says?

It was an interview with La Gazzetta dello Sport, the article is paywalled. I started typing up a tldr but I couldn't do it justice with a summary so here's a full translation. It goes into some details about Jules's crash and the aftermath, so broad cws for that, but there's a lot more. He talks about their foundation, about Jules as a kid, and a bit about the Leclercs. The second half is very sweet

Note: I translated literally. Italian as a language can be more flowery than English, so if some sections feel a bit melodramatic in English, that's why; I'd rather sound a bit off than take creative liberties with the content

Q: Where were you on the day of your son's accident?

“I was home, watching the race on TV. The day before Jules had told me that the race would probably not go ahead because of bad weather conditions, but when I woke up on Sunday I saw that they had decided to race anyway. I saw the crash live but from the broadcast, it wasn't clear what had happened. But I couldn't see Jules, I didn't understand where he was. When I saw that one of the marshalls was holding a piece of the car that had crashed, and it was a piece of my son's car, I understood that something tragic had happened.”

Q: Did you leave for Japan right away?

“I tried to phone everyone, but nobody would pick up. After half an hour Nicolas Todt, Jules's manager, called me and asked me to come. He said: ‘You have to come here, he might not make it’, so Jules's mother and I left immediately for Suzuka”.

Q: Did you understand immediately how serious it was?

 “At first we hoped for a miracle. When we saw him, he was handsome, he hardly had any marks, he looked like he was asleep. He was always a strong boy, somebody who never quit, so at first we thought he could recover.”

Q: Then the months passed... 

 “He was moved to Nice and every day we told him to fight, to stay with us, to hold on and recover. At some point, though, we understood that even if he woke up, it wouldn't be easy: the doctors told us that he would probably remain paralysed, blind, and many other things. One day, even we stopped asking him to fight and started to reassure him [instead], we said: 'Alright Jules, you can go, don't worry because we will see you again' and eventually he left us.”

Q: Has Jules's accident truly changed the safety standards in F1, do you think?

 “Yes, I am sure of that. One of the things that gave [the most] strength to our family after such a tragedy was knowing that Jules didn't die for nothing. Nowadays in F1 the safety car is called much more often, after Jules's passing the virtual safety car was introduced, and often there are red flags in situations where it would never have been called before. Moreover, the halo was added to the cars, a protection that has already saved many lives, I am sure. This gives us some peace.”

Q: Ten years after the crash, where do you find this strength?

“In the knowledge that no one wanted Jules’s death. It is true that mistakes were made, but that is life, and nothing would give me back my son regardless. When we go to races or when we organise events for our foundation, we feel the fondness that people have for us and Jules, and it’s what makes us go on. The past cannot be changed.”

Q: What does the Jules Bianchi Foundation do?

“We raise funds for the hospital in Nice where Jules was hospitalised for many months [the CHU — Centre Hospitalier Universitaire de Nice]. With the money we raise, we buy treatment equipment and instruments, we try to do something useful. When his commitments allow him to come, Charles (Leclerc) never misses an event, he does it to be with us and help us raise funds”.

Q: You and Leclerc have a very strong relationship. Where does it come from?

“Charles’s dad Hervé was my best friend. We were always together and I was the one to put Charles on a kart for the first time: he was very small and pretended to be sick to skip school and come with his father to us, to the kart track in Brignoles. Jules was older but Charles was quite close to him, he always asked Jules for advice. Then I lost my son and he lost his dad but this didn't separate us, on the contrary, it brought us even closer. And every now and then when I look at Charles, he reminds me of my son”.

Q: Many people say [Jules and Charles] look alike. Were they similar in character as well?

“They both had the same obsession with racing. It was more than a passion, they just wanted to race and win. A true vocation. Charles sometimes would want to go to sleep in his racing suit, we told him to take it off and go brush his teeth, but he wanted to stay in his suit at all costs. Jules was the same. I remember I once told Jules he should focus more on school and less on racing and he called me crazy: ‘No, Dad, I just want to race’. Then they had the same competitive mean streak in their eyes when they put their helmets on, an incredible [resemblance].”

Q: Leclerc also gave you a very special helmet this year.

“We actually did a swap. When I saw the helmet Charles had made in honour of Jules for the Suzuka Grand Prix this year, I asked him to give it to me and I wanted to give him a Formula 1 helmet that belonged to my son. We don’t usually give Jules’s helmets to anyone but Charles had to have one and when we gave it to him he was overjoyed. He does so much for us, it was right that he should have it”.

Q: Everyone knows of Bianchi the driver, but what kind of boy was your son off the track?

“A good boy, that is what made me the most proud of him. He was always a very strong driver but off the track he was sweet, sensitive and smiled with everyone. Everyone who knew him couldn’t help but love him”.

Q: When did Jules start karting?

“At three years old, very early. I managed a kart track so he had the chance to start when he was very little, he liked it a lot.”

Q: And when did you realize that he had something special?

“To me, he was always very good, but as a father, it’s normal to think that. I thought he was stronger than the other kids but I thought it might be just experience and extra training because he had started so early. When they first started calling us about contracts I realised that maybe he really had something special”.

Q: Then Ferrari came into your life.

“We had been followed by Nicolas Todt as Jules’s manager for some time, and at the end of 2009 came the big opportunity to drive a Ferrari F60 on the track in Jerez, for a test open to young drivers. Jules went very fast straight away and everyone was impressed by his talent and his ability to adapt to the car. I remember that on the return trip I was with Andrea Stella, who had been Jules’s engineer for the test, and he said to me: 'You can tell me, Jules had already tried a Formula 1 car before today, right?'. But he had never done it, he was simply very good.”

Q: How exciting was it for you to see him dressed in red?

“My son was the first driver in the Ferrari Driver Academy and it was a dream come true for everyone, especially for him. He was really proud to wear the Ferrari colours.”

Q: Were you the ones who facilitated a connection between Leclerc and Nicolas Todt?

“Charles’s father had told me that his son’s career was becoming too expensive and so I called Nicolas, telling him that in all those years I had never recommended him any kid to take on [as a manager] even though I saw so many of them pass through our karting track, but he absolutely had to give this kid a chance because he had something extra. I remember that we organized a meeting and Charles and his father showed up dressed very elegantly, it looked like they were going to a wedding. Then they reached an agreement and I was happy because Hervé and I, we always said we had a dream for our children…”

Q: What was this dream?

“To see them race together in Formula 1, maybe even in Ferrari. One a little older, the other younger, but together.”

[pick-me-up-im-scared]

Call Me When You Need Me (Ellie Williams x Reader) (Fluff)

Short Summary: When your best friend Ellie has problem sleeping you come over to help her. Like you always do!

Author´s Note: Another random idea I got that I thought would be waaay shorter. It´s not that long, but it's longER than I planned to. Istg, the universe wants me to write +5k fanfics. Everythime I come up with an idea for a blur (cause they're way quicker to write) I end up adding so much to it you can't even call it that. Anyway, hope you'll enjoy just a super cute little story! (I'm the person who tries to fill the "ellie x reader"-tag with stuff that isn't smut. Like I didn't just post two smuts right after each other a week ago.................)

Also! Ellie lives in the same house as Joel in this. Even though I'm well aware she has her own "hut" in the game

Words: 1473

(Pictures aren´t mine! I found them on Pinterest)

The empty streets felt oddly peaceful as you wandered down the oh, so familiar road. Only the streetlights lighting up your path as your sleepy feet stumbled on the sidewalk. It wasn’t unusual to find you walking down these streets at 3 am. You found yourself in this situation a little too often. Not that you complain! When your best friend needs you, she needs you. The crispy night air forced you to cross your arms in order to keep some warmth. Despite being near fall you decided to skip out on a jacket and just go with your outwashed hoodie. Big mistake. But it’s not that bad. Though you’d lie if you´d say you didn’t miss your warm, cozy bed. Just the thought was enough to put a drowsy smile on your face. You continued to kick rocks you stumbled upon on the sidewalk as you, trying to not hit any of the parked cars beside you, cause you know.......karma. Soon you noticed the familiar fence you helped painting white one summer. By the looks of it, it could use a little touch-up. Getting onto the lawn you quickly made your way to the back. The house was completely pitch black apart from one single window on the right corner.

You walked over to the corner of the porch, making sure to sneak a few glances through the dark windows, just to make sure Joel wasn’t up to grab a glass of water or something. But you’re just met with your own reflection in the surprisingly clean windows. You jumped up on the fence that tastefully decorated the porch to reach the edge of the roof. You took a sturdy grip around the aged wood before pushing yourself up the brick plated surface. This was nothing new to you. It was more of a routine. Getting called over to your friends house at least five times a week you kinda start to come up with a few tricks to make your arrival more smooth. Why are you climbing the house like you're a fucking monkey? you may as. The first time Ellie called me over you both thought Joel would be pissed if he knew. So you came up with the brilliant idea, with your life at risk, to climb up from the back. Yes, Ellie tired to prevent you from doing it, but you're too stubborn. She knows that damn well. And yes, you're pretty sure you've got a six-pack from all the times you've pushed your whole body onto the porch roof. But by the morning neither of you considered Joel's daily visit. So when he came to tell Ellie it's breakfast he was sure surprised to see you laying there, holding her. But he wasn't mad.....not at all. And when it was time for you to leave he made sure to throw out "You can take the door next time!". Despite that you continued to take your not-so-convenient way into Ellie's room. You saw it more as a fun thing, and you like to believe Ellie enjoys to too. Even thought she mumbled a "You're so dumb" before giving you a welcome hug.

You carfully got up from your crunched up position, being careful not to strainght out your back too much or you'll probably fall down and break your neck. At this height you could outline more details in the only lit up room, as if you didn’t know it by memory. You noticed the small crack Ellie always made sure to leave every night incase she got the urge that’s currently the reason you’re here. She didn’t want to have to get up and open it when you got there. Also, she’s been very clear that you can come over whenever you feel like it. Day as night. You used your finger to loop around the thick glass and push it up enough to give you the opportunity to get a better grip. You slid the glass into the slit, just enough to squeeze yourself through. The noice made Ellie quickly turn her head from her position on her bed. Just the look of you made her smile. "You came!" she happily exclaimed. You giggled "Of course! You said you had problem sleeping”.

Your beaten up sneakers barely got to touch the floor before Ellie threw herself at you, slamming you into the nearby wall. She continued to hug you, tighten up her grip. You chuckled, "Hey, hey! You shouldn't try to mush me like ground beef. Who´s gonna keep you company then?". Ellie let go off you and took a step back, giving you the chance to get away from the wall. "I'm sure you can take it" she snarky remarked "Weren't you the one who's got a six-pack" she sarcastically asked while slapping her hand against your clothed stomach. "Ow!" you screaked while backing way from her hand. Ellie just chucked before making her way back to her bed, signaling you to take place beside her. You let the strap of your backpack slide down your arms before leaving it by the end of Ellie's bed, to then quickly kick off your lazy tied shoes before crawling up the comfy bed.

You let out a deep sigh as your back hit the mattress, "I´ve told you to just call me whenever you need me". "I know" Ellie mumbled before looking to the side, "But you deserve to sleep too". "I never sleep as good as I do in your bed" you reassured her as. She smiled a little, but she wasn't convinced. She's tried to fall asleep by herself when she has one of these...nights, but it's impossible! There's been times where she hasn't called you even thought she should have. Just cause she feels bad for forcing you out of bed. She never told you this or you'd kill her. She's lost count of all the times you've told her to just call you when she feels down or can't sleep.

You place your hands behind your head, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stickers Ellie swore she'd get rid off, but hasn't "had the time to". But you swore she was lying. She's always been such a bad liar. But you think it's adorable, so you don´t mind. "I swear I'm getting us a house someday. That way you wouldn't have to call me whenever you have problem sleeping", Ellie smirked at you. "Yeah?" she asked while shooting herself closer to your laying from. "Yep! Then you could just come over to my room" you frowned a little "Or we might share the same bedroom...". You shrug "Or I mean, we're sleeping in the same bed now, so we could save a lot of money if we just get one". Ellie smiled at the thought but soon her face fell a little "How would that work when you bring a girl over?". You shot your head to give her a confused face "What the fuck, Ellie?" you grabbed a pillow from behind you to hit her playfully "I don´t even bring that many girls over!". "Suuure" Ellie playfully rolled her eyes while wearing that shit-eating grin.

You huffed before pushing her back against the bed so you could straddle her. Ellie had to stop herself from blushing at the sudden contact, but she's pretty sure you'd still notice if you weren't busy continuing hitting her with the pillow. You giggle "You play me out to be some type of slut!". She just shrugged "Maybe you are". You huffed once more, louder this time, before getting off Ellie's lap with a defeated look. "Fuck you, Ellie" you mumbled before throwing the pillow at her. She just laughs as she catches it and put it back to its original place. "Should we get to bed now? You know, the reason I'm here?". "Oh!" Ellie quickly adjusted herself "Yeah, that'd be nice". You grabbed the cover that was messily tossed to the side and placed it over you to. "You want me to read you a bed time story?". Ellie laughed "Fuck you, (y/n)". You smirked as you reached over her to turn off the lamp on her beside table. The feeling of your body being pressed against her made it hard for Ellie to focus, but thank god you soon got back to your previous position behind her.

You wrapped your arms around her frame before pulling her into your embrace. Transferring your warmth onto her. “You don’t have to come here every time, you know?” Ellie clarified. “No, I know” you answered “But I want to” you added before burring your face in the nape of her neck, automatically squeeze her torso a little tighter. Ellie couldn’t help but release a relaxed sigh, finally at peace.

[newtthetranswriter]

Hello !

Can we have some hc for Natsu , Gray , Luxus & Gajeel reuniting with their s/o after the 7y they were « stuck «  in Tenrou island ? Their s/o stayed at the guild so they still think they are dead . FT has such good angst material I wish they used it more 😞 they talked about the 7y gap only for 5 min like it didn’t deserve an entire episode about it .

A/n: Thank you for the request. I just gotta say I completely agree that they should have talked about the gap more, like a lot can happen in seven years, and they're just like 'wow seven years past, here's the like three major things that happened while we thought y'all were dead, now get back to work'. Anyways, sorry it took so long to get this out. I hope you enjoy and remember to hydrate or diedrate.

General Background:

Hearing that the entirety of Tenrou Island had disappeared during the S-class trails broke your heart

And as much as it pains you to admit it, you were probably the first member of Fairy Tail to accept that the wizards on Tenrou had died

So when Blue Pegasus showed up saying that there was evidence to suggest that Tenrou Island was still out there, you refused to believe them

You tried to reason that is had been seven years, if the Tenrou team had survived they would have made it back by now, not to mention every trip out to look for them there was no sign of the island at all

Of course the Remaining members of Fairy Tail still held on to hope that their friends where out there somewhere, so a small group left to try and find them once again

Still not wanting to get your hopes up, you decided it was best to stay at the guild and wait for their return so you can comfort them when they show up empty handed

You had been focused on protecting Romeo from Twilight Ogre, and failed to notice the mass of Magic energy that approached the guild Hall.

So when the man holding the hammer was sent flying across the room, you were just as much shock as the rest of the guild

After the new presence beat the crap out of the rival guild members and the dust settled, you couldn't believe your eyes

Standing in the door to the Fairy Tail Guild hall was none other than the group that had disappeared seven years ago

Natsu:

Seeing the pink haired mage you had spent the last seven years mourning, standing right in front of you stole your breath away

He looked exactly the same as he did when he left for the trials, how could that be possible

After they explained what happened and everyone began talking about some of the major changes that had happened while they were gone, Natsu came over to talk to you

He thought he would be greeted by a hug and some words of how much you missed him, maybe even some happy tears, but as soon as he made eye contact you broke down into full on sobs

He immediately wrapped you in hug pulling you close and rubbing your back, whispering gentle words about how he's there for you

Being back in his arms and taking in his scent just caused the tears to fall harder, but after a few moments you finally calmed down pulling back looking him in the eyes again

He waited for you to make the next move, and when you started talking about you were sorry for not believing in him and how you should have been there when they found him, he was stunned

Being completely taken aback by that response he pulls you close again, assuring you that he's not mad about you not being there and how he can't blame you for thinking he died after all it had been seven years

Once he had gotten you to calm down again he asks if you want to go for a walk and tell him about what has changed for you while he was gone

He'd listen to every detail, how you help search endlessly for them but after a while you gave up hope, how you still lived in the shack that you shared with him and Happy because you couldn't bring yourself to part from it

He listened to how you tried once or twice to go out with someone new but every time it fell through because no matter how many times you told yourself he was gone you couldn't get over him

Natsu just listened, he knew what it was like to have someone you love suddenly disappear so he didn't blame you for any of it

He just wanted too be there for you as handled this new wave of emotions and he wanted to assure you that he would be there not matter what

Gray:

Seeing Gray standing in the guild hall once again brought tears to your eyes

Ignoring as everyone explained what had happened, you were brought back to every night you spent crying yourself to sleep after you accepted that he was dead

You stood there tears streaming down your face as you relived every memory you had with the Ice Make wizard

Once he noticed you standing off to the side with tears falling, he rushed to your side

Hearing Gray ask if you were ok snapped you out of your thoughts, reaching out placing a hand on his face you couldn't stop your self from asking if he was really there

He would just chuckle softly and assure you that he was in fact really there

Deciding that you weren't dreaming or hallucinating, you pulled him in to a tight hug, soaking his shirt in fresh wave of tears as you berried your face in his shoulder

He just let you cry as he held you close knowing that it was shock to have someone that was supposed to be dead show up again

Once you stop crying Gray would suggest the two of you go somewhere to talk

He'd listen as you told him about the past seven years, squeezing your hand any time you looked like you were about to break down again reassuring you that he was there for you know

If you even tried to blame yourself for believing he was dead or not going when the rest went to see if they were really out there, he would make you look him in the eyes as he told you that it was in no way your fault

He would make sure that you knew he would never blame you for thinking he had died, and that he would spend everyday of his life making up for the seven years of hell he put you through, if you would let him of course

Laxus:

He wouldn't wait a second after making his appearance in guild hall to find you

After all his only other friends had all been on Tenrou so there was only one person he need to catch up with

Seeing his giant frame make it's way towards you left you speechless, after all this time he was finally back and he looked the same as when he left

Not giving him a chance to speak, you wrapped him in hug expressing how much you missed him

He wasn't surprised when a damp patch started to form on his chest where your head rested

He let you cry it out, rubbing your back so you knew he was really there

Laxus wouldn't even care about the strange looks the rest of the guild was giving him, all he cared about was making sure you were okay

After you calmed down and spent a small amount of time welcoming the rest of the Tenrou Team back you found yourself going for walk with Laxus

You apologized for not being there when the rest found them, after all you didn't know he had gone out to Tenrou and thought he just stopped visiting you

He assured you that you didn't need to apologize for anything, he then apologized for not telling you he was going to Tenrou and for making you think he just abandoned you

He also promised to do whatever it took to make up for everything

Gajeel:

It took Panther Lily pushing him in your direction for Gajeel to notice you had been staring at him since the moment they walked back into the guild

Realizing you hadn't taken your eyes of him, he timidly approached and apologized for leaving you for seven years

He's not the best with words or emotions so he is startled when you pull him into a bone crushing hug followed by tears soaking his shoulder

He'd pat your back trying to get you to calm down, saying that you're going to ruin his bandages, secretly he's just happy you were there

After you calm down he lets you vent about how much you missed and how sorry you were for losing hope

Again not the best with words so he'd probably mumble about it not being your fault

Seeing that the reunion wasn't going super smoothly, Panther Lily would probably show up and assure you that while Gajeel is shit with words, he really is happy to see you

(dividers by cafekitsune)

[kc-art-stuff]

mahjong game 🀄

this is probably the most detailed thing ive ever drawn i feel so insane,, keep reading for some of the details you might have missed!!

first the shelf:

1st layer: shenyu and ganyu framed childhood pics

2nd layer: suspensus somium mechanism (furniture from xianyun's sq), the cloud retainer pet, the windmill thing from xianyun's trailer, the one she gave ganyu

3rd layer: scrolls and books one of them labeled "baby pics"

4th later: sunglo tea (the tea xianyun bought during the lantern rite event)

the side of the shelf has postcards from chenyu vale, and the kite shenhe and ganyu made leaning on it

ganyu dlsu grad pic AHJKSDF its a chinoy au now,,

for the calendar, there's no reason why i chose september 2023,, its just bc its the only reference i could find for this type of calendar. also the date encircled is sept 7 which is chongyun's birthday (重云 is written on it)

shenhe on the lower left corner bringing them tea, a fan is on the lower right corner. a vase of glaze lilies instead of guizhong huhu sorry

i tried my best to make the game as accurate and detailed as possible, ping is winning only waiting for the 三萬 tile (which is the one xianyun is discarding), ping also has a kong which is more points afaik (ty for the info poppy <3) mountain shaper is losing bc he has no consecutive tiles or 3 tiles of a kind. zhongli and ping also have flowers which also gives them extra points. this is all based on how me and my family would play mahjong so if its not accurate,, idk HADFAJSDF also i didn't count all the tiles bc there are 144 and i want this piece to be detailed but not THAT detailed,, anyway THAT'S ALL <3 i spent around 3 days working on this it's kinda insane.

[cyberrose2001]

Hi hi! Your op drawings are so good?? My bby aaa drawing him (bots in gen) is so tough, I get too caught up in the details TT

Anyway, since I miss him lol I was wondering if I could request some... uh, gosh I hate this word but idk anything synonymous. Could I request pussydrunk tfp op?

Hope you're having a nice day/night btw <3

- 🍄

TFP pussydrunk!Optimus x reader

Hi hello!!I am very proud of this and it's probably up there with my list of my favourite fics I have ever written. Thank you so much for requesting and liking my silly sketches of the blorbo. I've written this as gender neutral <3

(lowkey ive been writing heaps of OP eating pussy,,, its a canon event for me i cannot intervene..... anyway its 11AM and i havent slept yet but i needed to finish hggggh *dies of horny*)

Warnings: Oral sex (reader receiving), edging, reader has a vagina.

Word count: 657

18+ ONLY! MINORS DNI

Spending time alone with you has learned to be one of Optimus' most treasured past times. But as much as it pains him, relaxing with you is a rare treat. The usual business of the base either keeps him up all night, or he genuinely has no time. However, he tries his best to make the most of it, whether he's relaxing with you, cuddling you, or with his head glued between your inner thighs. 

Like right now. It was nearing two AM. Optimus has you sprawled out on your shared berth, his face pressed against your aching heat, finally finding sweet relief from his built-up arousal. It's been too fragging long since his face was buried in you. He misses it, and if Optimus had a choice, he would sacrifice everything he's worked for to keep you bare before him.

Two hours. Optimus had been lazily lapping at you for two hours now. At one point, his helm had lulled to the side to rest against your right inner thigh to not strain his neck. His glossa grows tired, and his energon roars through his hot frame.

His stamina is almost depleted compared to when he initially delved into your drenched pussy. Despite this, Optimus still has the capacity to tightly grip your hips, gently massaging them as you lie still for him. He is weary, yet he perseveres, ignoring his aching joints and pulsing spike painfully pressed against the berth because tonight is about you. He will make up for all those lonely nights you've spent in berth alone in one lengthy oral session.

It's very often that when Optimus gives you oral, his mind feels like he's been transported to a higher plane of existence, one where he has no responsibilities or obligations to lead a team, just the mind-numbing taste of you. It makes him dizzy and light-headed, similar to the buzz he gets when he has a high grade or two, but Optimus prefers revelling in you instead to get his high. 

As ever patient as you are with your star-crossed lover, your hips still gently roll and shudder involuntarily against his glossa, and Optimus fucking loves it. He loves your soft cries when he sucks on your clit, and he loves when you clamp your legs around his helm when your orgasm is merely within reach. But he won't let you finish just yet, not when he's yet to relish and thoroughly drown himself in your sticky sweet.  

His warm optics remain lazily trained on your face, only fluttering close when you squeeze his helm. The pressure from your thighs only heightens his hunger, a carnal desire to swallow every drop of your aphrodisiac juices. 

"Mmmmm," You mewl, sweaty palms digging into the berth, "Fuck, I missed this… why don't we do this - aah - more often, baby…."

Optimus doesn't respond, and he can't because his processor is so intoxicated and aroused that he can't even form a single coherent sentence. It's quite ironic, he thinks. A mech of his nature that is so poised and articulate in his vocable is conned by his own desperate need to surrender his intake to his humans' essence.

"Mmmffh," He purrs into your heat, parting your sensitive lips with his glossa, lazily swirling around your bud before pressing a gentle kiss against it. He can't help but grind his spike into the berth below at your whimpers, servos kneading into your soft flesh, "More… Primus, I need more…."

You titter breathlessly, snaking a hand to the top of his helm to lightly press his face further into your pulsing heat, and Optimus delightfully grunts. You shiver, biting back a moan at the vibrations, "Go ahead, hun, you've got me for the rest of the night."

Optimus may need to blow a hole into the sun to prevent it from rising, since one night will never be enough to satisfy his thirst for you.

[most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer]

Good Omens: Lockdown and Crowley not mentioning his living situation in S2*

*till S2E6 when he asks if he can have his apartment back bc he's bored of living in his car but Aziraphale doesn’t hear bc mentally he’s in Alpha Centauri.

Having read the 'Crowley doesn't tell him' Neil Gaiman ask close to when I first listened to Lockdown (I lived under a rock until recently), my initial thought was HAS HE BEEN LIVING IN HIS CAR FOR YEARS?! but I think he was still in his apartment in 2020:

as far as Hell knows, Crowley just had a pool party in holy water (the holiest) so the higher-ups are probably willing to give him some space (plus Beelzebub is busy going on pub dates w Gabriel)

while there should be ~8 months between the end of Season 1 events (The Very First Day of the Rest of Their Lives on Sunday, Aug 25, 2019) and the Lockdown phonecall (on or near the 30 year anniversary on May 1, 2020), I can't imagine that's a very long time for Hell, especially if you're understaffed and busy dealing with fallout from Almostgeddon / going on pub dates

Shax dropping off mail and asking about the boiler seems like something one does in the first few months of living somewhere, not ~3 years in (if S2 is in 2023)

That said, I think the phone call underlines why Crowley never directly tells Aziraphale that he is living in the Bentley in S2, and it's just a great conversation (all hail Gaiman) sooo I wrote about it:

***Note: This post analyzes the Lockdown phonecall from Crowley's perspective only. Our heroine is feeling quite emotionally vulnerable at this point in time so things are going to hit him harder than they normally would.

I do not think Aziraphale meant to cause him pain (!!) but Crowley can't see that yet and I've written this post in a way that reflects that missing insight. (I explain in more detail in this reblog if you are interested) I am working on a companion post for Aziraphale's side of this conversation and how I think it affects his behavior in S2 because if we know anything about these two, it's that their exactlys are different exactlys.***

Crowley’s habit of sleeping to skip time like an RPG character by a campfire amuses me to no end, but in this context it feels heavy. Crowley already worries about losing time with what he loves and he probably hoped things would be different between him and Aziraphale after the events of S1. But things don’t change much. Then lockdowns start, and Crowley is trapped in his apartment alone, transcendentally bored, and unable to make his brain shut up. Sleeping a month away starts to sound less awful.

But Crowley hasn’t given up yet; he’s still awake when Aziraphale calls, and he’s even giving it two more days. Was he waiting for Aziraphale to call? Is it even possible not to at least kind of wait for someone’s call when you are cut off from everything and the caller has been your only friend and crush for millennia?

Aziraphale asks why Crowley isn't "out and about" tempting people or setting a bad example and he responds:

C: Everyone's so miserable and cooped up right now anyway, and I just… well… don't have the heart for it. A: *glowing audibly* I'm not miserable~ C: Really?

Crowley sounds genuinely surprised at Aziraphale's happiness and quickly assumes it's because the angel has been around people. He's so lonely/depressed/in his own head that he hadn't even considered someone enjoying being 'cooped up'. *sob*

Aziraphale goes No actually I put the closed sign up in the window and I'm having the Time of My Life, never had so few customers, not in 200 years!, etc. Although, he says:

A: …There were a few young lads a couple of nights ago who broke in through the back and tried to steal the cashbox! But they soon saw the error of their ways~ C: *clearly amused* Did you smite them with your wroth? A: Well I certainly gave them a good talking to, and I sent each of them home with cake~ C: *annoyed, swooning* Cake? A: Quite a lot of cake, actually. C: *physically ill from having such a giant crush on this dumbass baker/security guard* eeeekkkgghhh I'm gonna regret asking but.. ...rrgh.. *30 seconds of Aziraphale joyfully describing his baking while Crowley probably tries very hard not to imagine the angel eating each item in sensual slow motion* I stg you can hear him struggling in the background once or twice

A: …And once I've baked them, I have to eat them all myself, which was why I was so delighted— C: To send your burglars home laden with baked goods, yes, nnyeaayeah I follow…

Crowley interrupts, finishing Aziraphale's sentence in his nervous hurry to say the next bit:

C: *loud inhale* You know, I could.. hunker down at your place. … Slither over and watch you eat cake. I could bring a bottle--a case of… something… drinkable…?

He's trying to sound so casual about it but this is someone who was rejected/abandoned by actual literal God after asking what he thought were welcome, uncontroversial questions. Asking makes him vulnerable. He's supposed to be the rescuer, not a demon in distress. He does not feel casual about asking.

Crowley knows it's unlikely but he's so miserable and desperate for company that he can't help but ask, just in case. Even the smallest chance of spending time trapped indoors with Aziraphale—with nothing to do but drink, watch him eat, and talk about things they'd normally avoid—is too tempting.

A: *panicking* Oh I— I— I— I— I'm afraid that would be Breaking All The Rules! *nervous breathing* Out of the question! I'll see you… when this is over. C: Right. gnnehh. I'm setting the alarm clock for July. Good night, angel. *dial tone*

And just like that, Crowley doesn't need two days to decide. The depression nap doubles in length. He doesn't hear how badly Aziraphale wants to say yes behind the fear, or maybe he does and it hurts worse because why isn't Crowley enough for him? You can almost hear the spiralling:

SHOCKING, asking made it worse. It always does doesn’t it? Why even bother? you just embarrass yourself.. SLITHER over? why did I say that *grumble grumble* of COURSE His Holy Holiness, your only friend in the universe, would rather eat cake by himself while everything goes to shit than ~deign~ to have you in his presence. "AsK aND yE sHaLl ReCeIvE" bugger this for a lark im going to bed

(a bit dramatic but we've all been there)

I imagine sleep doesn't come right away. Maybe his thoughts drift to when he sat beside the angel at a dark Tadfield bus stop after a rather eventful Saturday. Crowley must've felt a tiny bit hopeful when he invited Aziraphale to stay with him: Heaven had withdrawn its favor and the bookshop was gone; Aziraphale was like him now. Didn't that mean things would change?

"I don't think my side would like that." Apparently not.

In the end, Aziraphale did ride the bus back to Crowley's apartment and stayed till the next morning when he caught a cab, but only to sell the illusion. Crowley understood that as far as sides went, the angel was still on Heaven's, even if Heaven wasn't on his.

And now this: the entire world is shut down; there is nothing for Aziraphale to do but stay in and read and bake in his magically reconstituted bookshop and he still won't invite Crowley in. Burglars and un-fallen angels only—nobody who asks questions.

So... of course Crowley doesn't tell Aziraphale when he loses his apartment. He already knows what answer he would get; the angel has told him so many times. Aziraphale is a company man first, a companion to one very sad owl when convenient.

If Crowley works up the courage to say 'please take me in, I have nowhere else to go' and Aziraphale goes 'sorry, no, far too political, but I WILL risk being erased from the Book of Life to protect this nude amnesiac former coworker who always hated me,' it's going to be too much. You can't sleep long enough for that type of hurt to go away. Better not to say anything.

"Then nothing has to change, does it?"

[starry-eyed-wild-child]

🌻 charlie walker boyfriend headcanons 🌻

charlie walker x reader

. my sweet, sweet baby charlie - this man is so obsessed with you

. like it's low-key creepy but in such a sweet way you'd never even know

. i like to imagine you probably met in his film club, but he'd probably seen you in the hallways at school and he was just smitten after that. or even if you sat behind him in history class or smth and he tried his hardest to not look at you

. will be the most loyal boyfriend you could ever imagine, this man would die (and kill) for you in a heartbeat

. okay so, either you had to ask him out OR a bunch of mutual friends grouped together to get yous together because they were just sick of your pining

. honestly, robbie's ears are talked off about you, poor guy can't catch a break

. speaking of robbie, he definitely teases charlie about his little crush and will subtly drop hints in front of you just to embarrass him

. but robbie is also definitely 1000% your biggest fan, this man would literally make a movie just about how awkward your get together was, he adores you and thinks you're perfect for his best friend

. charlie stutters a lot when talking to you, he just struggles to believe he actually pulled you, the girl of his dreams. and he BLUSHES too, omg this man is a walking mess for you

. movie dates ofc are a given, if you're not a fan of horror movies, charlie will still happily sit and watch whatever you want. i personally think that charlie would draw the line at rom-coms tho, but that's just my personal opinion. like he will, but he'll criticise it all the way to the credits

. charlie is 100% a night owl. you'll probably be waking up as charlie is getting ready to go to sleep. not that he likes watching you sleep or anything 😳

. BOARD GAMES - play some cluedo with this pathetic little man, he lives for board game nights. play some music in the background, a bottle of cheap rum or smth between the two of you and that's charlie's dream night fr

. absolutely loves holding your hand in public. I don't think that's charlie's that big on pda but he's a sucker for hand holding and nose kisses

. is the king of remembering little details about you. remember that necklace that you got when you were six but lost somehow? no? charlie definitely does and would probably get you a new one

. his favourite thing is your eyes. it's his absolute favourite colour. he'd get a bracelet specifically with a stone that is the same colour so he can look at it when he misses you

. loves listening to music with you and making you your own playlist. he's the stereotypical romantic of where he loves sharing earphones with you so you can listen together 🥹

. okay I hate to admit it, but charlie is probably a terrible cook. BUT he tries his hardest to cook your favourite foods for you just to see you smile

. the most giggly, awkward boyfriend you've ever had and ever will have. he loves your smile, he's always trying to make you laugh

. I have a theory that charlie's laugh is very contagious. this man would giggle once and have the whole class in a fit of giggles because his laugh is just so adorable

. wear. his. shirts. this man LIVES to see you in his clothes

. would probably eventually end up giving you the ones he doesn't wear anymore

."they look better on you anyway" 😖 an absolute sweetheart

. soft, gentle kisses are the usual. he's so gentle with you like he's scared you'll break ALTHOUGH when he kisses you, he will grip at your waist really tight

. will not, under any circumstances, have you involved with the ghostface killings. charlie can be quite frightening when he's angry so he makes sure jill knows her place

. would probably lie to you about his involvement, as much as he hates lying to you, he couldn't stand the thought of you hating him and leaving

. no seriously, charlie would have a full on mental break down if you were to ever leave him or break up with him

. speaking of breaking up with him, lol, yeah no... not happening. it's the last thing he'd let you do

. the relationship is low-key a bit toxic but in a 'you can't leave, you're the only person I have' kinda way? y'know?

. sex would be hella awkward at first, charlie would have absolutely no clue on what to do, poor boy :(

. he just wants to make you feel good. speaking of which, PRAISE. praise this man, he thrives of knowing how good he makes you feel

. loves you on top, and when you tug at his hair when you're close to finishing

. is the most whiny mess during sex. he's so LOUD. he moans, groans, whines and whimpers so much and he's not embarrassed by it either

. makes sure you cum first every single time. charlie will not stop until you do, even if it take until morning

. king of aftercare. he'll clean you up, cuddle with you, talk with you, make you a cup of tea and a snack, All OF IT

. don't be fooled though, he loves some aftercare himself. playing with his hair as you lie on him, completely blissed out. cuddle him, tell him how good he was, and boy MELTS

. overall the dream boyfriend and i'm desperate for a charlie in my life (rory culkin a chance, please?!)

. 100/10 would recommend

[goldsbitch]

Hi🥹 cam I just say that I love your writing?

Would you be able to write something with Lando or oscar (his sister) of him/ them surprising her for her birthday? Possibly she likes christmas a lot so a christmas in July with lots of christmas deco.

It's my birthday soon and I don't really have anybody to celebrate with which is fine but I still wanted to ask

Xx

this is by far one of the sweetest asks I've ever read - sorry for taking such a long time! i got sick and the mind was just too cloudy

i do hope you'll like this. i've finished it just after the race, so it's not as fluffy as i intended this to be. hopefully we'll recover from that soon

anyway - happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Christmas in July

2 days before Hungarian Grand Prix 2024 and Y/N birthday

"What brings her joy?" Lando asked as if he spoke of some impossible philosophical dilema. The only thing missing was a big white board for him to stare at. It was sometimes hard to decipher when he was joking and when he was being serious. But Oscar knew one thing - this guy would rather gather up a crowd before sorting out something on his own. He had currently set up a "war council" as he called it not-so-dramatically in order to figure a way how to approach the his sister's birthday. Among others present was his teammate.

Oscar had a dilema of his own, sitting there on a chair with few other people present on this strange meeting Lando held in his hotel room. While his teammate was trying to figure out how to cheer up his sister, who was suppose to be spending her birthday with her best friend in Budapest during their Grand Prix, Oscar was trying his best not to raise any suspicion. Nobody here knew it was nearly impossible to count the nights he had spend secretly texting with Lando's sister. It was innocent. Just two friends wishing each other good night every other day. Definitely not crossing the line at all.

Lando did not share details as to why he was suddenly putting himself in charge or his sister's birthday with the group. She had a whole thing planned with her best friend for Hungarian summer race weekend. Not even Lando had that many details about their falling out as Oscar had.

In a way, he was glad that Lando took this initiative and he could hide behind him, making sure her brother did not cross the line or got too carried away. And ensure that Y/N had the birthday she deserved. A girl probably too sweet for their world anyway. Once again, Oscar had to stop himself before he lost his thoughts completely. She was just a friend. His teammate's sister. Nothing more.

Ugh.

//

Sun kissed people smiling in streets older than time itself. Ancient glory still piercing through the cobblestones and some kind of magic the locals put to the water here, making it all dreamy and mystic.

Yeah, that's all great and amazing - unless you're there alone, bored and mad at everyone. Even the bloody sun was too much these days. And coffee too bitter this time.

Y/N was people-watching, while she enjoyed her scenery coffee alone. Every group of friends walking by and enjoying their summer felt like a personal attack. Somehow, every happy couple in the surrounding area must have decided to take a stroll around the city and her ever-so-single self had to watch it all happen.

Having a fight with a bestie is hard on its own, it's absolutely amazing when it happens around ones birthday. Right now, there were suppose be having a blast in a local spa and preferably talk about the latest boy they'd flirted with the night before. But no.

The dread of having a fallout with a friend is often worse than a break up.

There was only one person she truly wished to text at that moment, but their texting has been getting out of hand for the past days. She tried to avoid wallowing in the memories of her blushing at her phone last night. She was just a friend to Oscar, nothing more. It was impossible - he was her brother's teammate! A very sweet, funny and irresistable teammate. She imposed a self-ban on her, no texting Oscar during the day. At least today.

//

"What if I... hire a horse and have her ride on it to the paddock!" Lando said, desperation dripping from his mouth.

Oscar chuckled, this was way too much fun to watch. Lando shot him an intimidating look, making the poor guy worried for a moment. He can't possibly know, right? Oscar gulped, swallowing his next chuckle.

"Something funny, Osc?"

"No, certainly not." Never once has Oscar felt more like a school boy that right there. "Although, I would question if this is something she would truly enjoy. I imagine she is a little shy for that."

He did not need to imagine anything - he could practically see her horrified texts incoming. It has been few hours since she's responded. It was getting harder for Oscar to keep lying to himself a pretending it did not bother him.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Lando replied after a moment o thought. "Fuckin' hell. I can't just buy her a necklace. That's so lame."

Oscar agreed. Unless it was a personal one.

"I'd say you should keep it private and sweet."

Lando was getting slightly annoyed, as no clear idea seemed to come up. "No, Oscar, it needs to be an absolute bomb. Gotta cheer her up somehow."

The Australian man could not argue with that. "True. Come on, what does she like?"

"I dunno, it's hard. And like, we don't have much time. to organize," Lando sighed. He should have prepped this sooner.

Unlike Lando, Oscar had a very clear idea of which direction to go to. He just couldn't be blunt about it. "When have you seen her happiest?"

Lando frowned, his eyebrows dancing in deep thoughts. "I dunno, when she brings home a new guy?"

Oscar's stomach did a u-turn at the idea of Y/N bringing guys home. More specifically, guys that were not him. "No, I meant like - time of the year of something like that."

Silence fell over the room. "I dunno, on her birthday, maybe?! What the fuck is your point?" Lando asked bluntly. Oscar bit his lip, this was going to be painful. It was simple, obvious, hell anyone who knew her at least a bit would know the one thing she absolutely loves was Christmas - and why not have Christmas now? Get a little tree, pump it up and make it all a big jolly fun.

"Yes, but like, time of the year - what does she like the most?" Oscar tried once again.

Lando was getting impatient. "Are you hinting on anything specific or just shooting in the dark?" It sounded more like a threat than a question. Oscar had no choice but to back down, worried he might have to reveal things he wished to be private at the moment. His massive crush on Lando's sister being the main thing he had to hide.

"Nope, just trying to give you pointers..." he said and sunk deeper in his chair. For a good chunk of the next 20 minutes he had to listen to the "war council" coming up with mediocre ideas like booking up a private spa in the city centre.

//

1 day before Hungarian Grand Prix 2024 and Y/N birthday

Lando woke up with a vision, a genius idea and a ground breaking concept - Christmas in July! Scratched all his other plans and had his team working on the ever-so-easy task of getting a Christmas tree in the middle of summer, on a weekend of all days. Many curse words were uttered in secrecy by his assistants.

Nevermind the three Christmas themed TikToks Oscar sent him, trying to steer his subconsciousness.

Lando created a massive group chat, instructing everyone not to acknowledge Y/N birthday the following day and to wait for the celebration after the race. Everyone was invited. Including Oscar, who was skeptical about leaving Y/N guessing the whole day. But, it was Lando's call. So he obeyed.

//

Hungarian Grand Prix 2024 and Y/N birthday

There was a strange energy in the air the whole day. Y/N had a very little contact with her brother, as he was fully deep in prep for his race. Oscar was also completely MIA. It was all terribly, terribly lonely. She shouldn't have come here. Her secret hopes of getting some alone time with Oscar totally clashed with the fact he was busier than usual. Birthday was no big deal anyway, right? Phone calls she received from her family were precious and were enough - at least this is what she tried to convince herself with when she sipped another lonely coffee. The buzz and excited people around the paddock not helping her. Nobody seemed to care. She would have thought that Oscar would. But no.

//

It was supposed to be a joyous celebration. But after the very questionable race they'd all just gone through, it was all but that. Lando really tried to push his real emotions back and be there to celebrate his sister. But it was just not working at all. Part of his wished he had done this thing the evening before. He was exhausted, pissed, sad and just wanted to go home. And she could see right through him.

When she got picked up by a driver and taken to a location unknown to her, she knew what was up. But, the decorations surprised her - someone really went all out. Christmas lights and decorations covered the whole room and big banquet with enough food to last them to the next December. It was a dream come true. But sometimes, it just takes few people to make an evening special. And the one she really wished to attend wasn't there.

Happy birthday! I hope your party is all you could have wished for. I was looking forward to be there with all of you, but I think my presence would taint it today. Hope you have a blast and have a wonderful year ahead of you!

The text lingered, as she toasted with another random person. As if it burned on her phone and through her pocket.

Thank you - congratulations of your first win!

It was a dry, cold response. But she did not have more in her to write. He did left her on read for two days. She had to remember her loayality towards her brother, who did go and created the best evening she could have asked for. She saw him, sitting at a table, deep in his own head. She went to sit next to him.

"Penny for your thought?" she nudged her brother. As soon as she spoke to him, he put on his fake smile on, the one he used the whole evening to hide his real emotions.

"Just happy you're happy," he said, clouded by his own emotions too much to see that she was in fact not having a good time. But both can pretend in order to protect the other.

"It is magnificent," she said, looking around at the massive Christmas tree. "Thank you."

Lando smiled weakly, getting sick of that sentence.

"Lando, I can see you're feeling really down. You do not have to be here just to please me. It must be horrible," she said, taking on the role of the supporter.

Her brother was crunched to his seat, visibly exhausted and completely over this bloody day. He couldn't look at her, as he felt incredibly selfish by making this about him again. As he always did.

"I'm a shit brother sometimes. I just want you to be happy," he responded.

"What a long we've travelled from you hitting me with a stick everytime mom turned around."

Lando let a small laugh out and finally looked at her.

"Ok, brother, I can't have you staying here, looking like you're about to drop dead any minute. Go do what you need to do. And we both know that is to get out of sight and have some alone time," she ordered, not having it anymore.

"You're right. As always. And hey, about that annoying friend of yours...I'll be alright. I'm sure of it." Lando never liked her, but he knew that Y/N loved her, so basic respect it was from him. Y/N's bigger issue at the moment was Lando-Oscar relationship. And her little crush. After the event today, it just seemed so out of the window.

"All will be alright," she replied, trying to convince herself more than Lando. "Now get off my party, you weirdo," she said jokingly, knowing well enough with him gone, there will be no one she truly liked left on her party. Just Lando's friend and few people from his team. But that was a reasonable price to pay for letting her brother go and deal with his emotions.

//

A knock on the door. Y/N came to the hotel quite late, but apparently someone wanted to come to visit even later.

She slowly opened the door, only to find a somewhat drunk Oscar swinging from one side to another, having troubles standing straight.

"Ssshh," he gestured immediately upon her opening the door, making in fact a louder sound than she ever planned on making.

"Oscar!" she whispered, surprised. Her heart must have stopped temporarily. He was there, standing in front of her. They were alone, for anyone to see. He was gorgeous. Stripped out of any inhibitions, barely keeping his eyes open.

"I'll stay here," he announced, rejecting an invitation that was never uttered. "I can't make your brother mad, not today. As you know."

Y/N was in a slight panic mode - the universal panic only one's crush can induce.

"I...have. A gift for you," Oscar mumbled and finally revealed his hand which was behind his back this whole time. It was a small box wrapped in the cheesiest Christmas paper. Y/N couldn't but smile at the awkward way it was wrapped, obviously Oscar himself took the time to do it on his own. "I wanted-wanted to give it to you this evening, but you know. Racing got...dramatic," he said, tripping over his own tongue. Y/N leaned closer and tried to stable him, which he rejected. "No! I will not come to your room today, no matter how much I want to," he continued denying offers that weren't made, making her laugh a bit. Drunk Oscar was a very cute Oscar. "I value you. And our...it's not a relationship, but it's also not a friendship, so let's just call it a ship," he reasoned, burped and then continued. "I value our ship and I do not want anyone to think I'm taking ad-advantage of you, so it must be done right. Today is not the day," he said, pointing his finger up. "Take this," he pushed his gift to her hands. "Lando said a necklace is a bad gift, but I don't think so. This will look pretty on your neck."

Y/N never took Oscar as a talkative drunk. But it was sweet to watch him, no boundaries at all.

"Thank you, Oscar. This is so nice of you," she said, still fighting her own surprised reaction.

"Good. I will go now. Today is not the right day to tell you I have a crush on you," he said and marched through the hallway, hopefully to his hotel room.

It was impossible to wipe off the smile out of Y/N face. Her crush liked her back. Gave her a beautiful gift.

But he was right - that day was not a good day for them to get together. But, a ship has definitely sailed.

[stellocchia]

I love the headcanon of Killer having ADHD, but I never see it explored much despite it being so popular. So here's a list of how ADHD may affect him based on my own experience:

- He remembers he's said something, but doesn't remember to who and just assumes it was everyone who needed to know. It was not.

Imagine the amount of times he's noticed a detail and told the Chara in his mind to not forget only to then forget they're the only one he spoke to about it. Sure, this is gonna be a problem while living under Chara or Nightmare if they find out (I say 'if' because Killer may play the part of the fool with them to lower their guard and him not noticing shit would fit right in), but it's also gonna be troublesome when he's already living with Color.

Imagine he scheduled his next therapy appointment and the only person he told that to is the voice in his head, like, that's bound to end up in a few skipped sessions.

- Remembers only one task at a time unless he writes them down.

I don't doubt that Chara and Nightmare both tried to beat some memory into him, but, surprise surprise, abuse doesn't cure ADHD. For some reason, they're both shocked to find this out.

Killer may develop the strategy of just repeating the list of tasks in his head with the exact cadence and rhythm they were told to him in over and over again as he's doing them to keep them in mind if he doesn't have access to a way to write the orders down. It works pretty well as long as he never stops doing it. As soon as he stops, anything but the task he was currently focusing on disappears.

- Inability to focus on only one thing at a time as it's too understimulating.

I know this one feels like a contradiction to the last one, but imagine it more as 'can't focus on reading unless you're also listening to something or fidgeting with your hands, or walking in circles'. More than one sense has to be stimulated at all times unless you wanna dissociate.

And, to be fair, Killer probably spent most of his time under Chara and Nightmare dissociating anyway, so it's possible that he discovered this neat little trick only after leaving with Color, most likely after starting therapy. Because, while Color of course tries his best to help, he also doesn't have all the knowledge and experience necessary to always know how.

- Irregular sleeping patterns.

This guy probably barely sleeps most of the time under Chara and Nightmare, both because they only allow him to as a reward if he's been good, and because it's such a vulnerable position to be in that it isn't worth it.

But, even once he's settled in with Color, my guy is still gonna swing between sleeping 3 hours and 12 hours straight depending on the day. He may lay down for a nap in the afternoon only for him to wake up the next day. Especially if he's kinda bored. Buddy's sleeping schedule is gonna give Color a heart attack.

- Frequent bouts of depression.

Depression and ADHD are linked together heavily, if he has ADHD it's highly likely that he suffers from depression too.

I mentioned it before, but I think his coping mechanism for that is locking himself in Stage 2, although he's not doing so consciously. Stage 2 is just the most likely one to be able to handle the increased anxiety/paranoia and apathy that come with it. He's also the least likely to change his behavior, so outsiders may miss the fact that they're in a vulnerable position. This, however, is a double edged sword because that guy is shit at taking care of the body and himself and may just go without eating and sleeping until he collapses, all while dissociating the whole time.

- All-consuming bouts of hyperfixation that leave him feeling empty once they fade.

The hyperfixation could be related to specfic AUs, characters within them (he doesn't consider anyone real anyway) or even tasks, weapons, animals, specific people.

For as long as the hyperfixation lasts, he struggles thinking of anything else and/or being happy/interested/focused while thinking about anything else. Of course, every time he thinks that maybe this is the interest that's gonna stick only for it to eventually fade and leave him feeling empty, maybe even kick-starting another bout of depression. There are ways to cope with that (pushing yourself to explore interests outside of you hyperfixation and establishing a healthy routine outside of it helps), however I think he'd only start exploring those once he's with Color and in therapy because mental health under Nightmare and Chara isn't really a thing. He's too busy trying to remain functional with them for that shit.

-

Of course, there's more to it, but those are the things I personally love to give Killer the most. That and the fact that he's easy to distract with something colorful and that is one of the reasons why he likes Color so much (same). Though that one's just funny tbh.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℂ𝕦𝕥𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕪𝕤 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: Could I request Ayato, Zhongli, Thoma, and Kaveh with a s/o who can create cute, living toys?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ Yeah! Absolutely! Honestly I'm not entirely sure about it buuut... hopefully you like it?

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ fluff

✧ over years, Zhongli already saw many toys and mechanisms, yet yours always seem to surprise him

✧ he may've seen the greatest inventions, but yours? They're so simple and cute, they have their own charm

✧ he's used to formal introducing when it comes to inventions like that, and yet you introduce it as if it's some toy for kids! Who knows? Maybe it is?

✧ but what he finds the sweetest is that they actually seem like alive, they move and some even talk! It's hard not to be impressed!

✧ like mentioned earlier, he's used to formal inventions, definitely not as silly as these, so his recommendation may not be the best...

✧ despite that, he wants to help, so he takes you on few adventures and shows you many secret places around Liyue or tells you stories which you may find closest to "fairytales"

✧ he's never recommending anything directly but he doesn't mind giving you ideas by sharing what he already knows

"Hehe~ ... No, nothing. I just thought your invention is really sweet. You have a real talent, dear."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @toyaswif3y - come get your broke archon!

✧ Thoma is literally like a supportive mother when it comes to your work as an inventor

✧ he's always gonna compliment any work of yours, usually taking time to admire it's looks and functions to give you more detailed compliment than just saying "it's good" and leaving it at that

✧ but he also won't lie to you when he sees something could use some fixing... he's definitely very gentle with it and if it's something little, he might hesitate to mention it but he'll probably tell you about it sooner rather than later

✧ coming back to mother subject... he's not gonna let you pull all nighters! And if he catches you, he'll immidietly force you to go to bed

✧ but if he catches you sleeping on your desk at 1am... he's just gonna move you to bed and moves little health talk for another time

✧ if you ask him for some ideas, they're most likely gonna remind you more of child toys than some serious robots but... those are usually still rather interesting ideas! So why not give it a try anyway~?

"Oh, this one's really good! I really like their design and how you went for the sweet look... and I can also see you worked really hard on making it move so smoothly. You did a really good job! Here, take a break after all of this work, I can make us tea."

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@bleachtheidiot - come get your perfect malewife~

✧ I have a feeling like Ayato, due to being head of Kamisato Clan would know a bit on how to judge inventions but not actual clue how to make ones

✧ but judging is still something! Because he can always tell you what's missing and what requires fixing in his opinion

✧ tho his words may be a bit harsh, due to being used to formal meetings and saying what he thinks there, as it was what he payed for... he tries making words gentler for you next time but first? Feel free to tell him he's being a bit blunt...

✧ but he gets there with time so don't you worry! He doesn't want to be mean to his partner after all!

✧ and if you have tough client to deal with? He'll volunteer to go with you and to help you with business talk, he sees how much passion and work you put into your works so he only finds it fair the other person needs to pay fair price

✧ also, he's gonna try his best to pull you away from all nighters buuut... he takes them himself so he can't really argue here... he'll just try to help you and get you to bed as soon as possible

"They want to pay this little? No, you're fighting for the right thing, you're obviously trying to under pay you. Tell me, when are you supposed to meet them? I'd like to assist you if it's not a problem."

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@bleachtheidiot - come get your boba lover!

✧ inventor the architect.... don't you see it's the perfect duo?

✧ Kaveh get's your struggle... so little time and so many ideas... let alone, if you're selling what you create!

✧ he's never gonna hesitate to help you, be it with the design or just to get idea for your next project

✧ and if he can't think of anything, he'll go on a little tour with you and maybe there you or him will be able to think of something

✧ he doesn't know much about inventing but he does know that all nighters are sometimes necessary and real pain at the same time... so he'd be happy to be your assistant and pass you various tools

✧ and if it ends you have to pull all nighter and don't allow him close to your inventions? He'll be happy to be your company for the night and coffee and snack bringer

✧ but since you're his lover, he's still worried about your health so despite doing that himself, he'll try getting you away from sacrificing your sleep

"C'mon honey... I get that it's important but so is sleep. And if your client complains, I'll personally have a talk with them! So don't worry about it, go to sleep and let me handle it if necessary, okey?"

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@bleachtheidiot - come get your architect beuty~

[mentally-a-slut]

Three Days (Arthur Morgan x Fem! Reader) (SMUT)

Anddddd here we are! Part two of 'Staring Problem'! This can be read as a stand alone, but if you want a suggestive lead up, then go read part one! I tried my best with this one, but I haven't written explicit smut like this in a long time, so go easy on me! Writing this also reminded me that I loathe writing in second person, so from here on out I think I'll either do first or third. I won't bore you with details here, but I'll put up a separate post updating y'all on some stuff. Anyway, enjoy, and please leave feedback! Silent readers are appreciated but leaving comments helps me get motivated to continue! Even just a one word comment or an emoji helps! - Azi >:)

Summary: Arthur's been gone on a job for three days, which isn't a new development. However, a new development in your relationship just before he left leave you wanting. But fear not, as your troubles will be soon solved!

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: unprotected PinV sex, smut, oral (f receiving), overall filth, reader is female, unedited (sorry), probably OOC Arthur but we're here for dick not character analysis!

You had always hated when Arthur went away on jobs, but ever since he left you hanging, your distaste for his long absences had grown.

You hadn't seen the man in three days, only getting a parting kiss and a heavy, heated promise as a farewell. The first day he was gone, you were mostly in awe of what had happened, wistfully going about your day and daydreaming of things to come.

The second day left you a little frustrated, the ache for him only growing with his absence. The other girls had noticed too, only making you more irritable as they teased you relentlessly for your obvious attitude change.

The third day was when you started to get worried. He'd been gone on longer jobs than this before, but you still couldn't help the nervous bouncing of your leg as you sat across from Tilly, trying to busy yourself with patching up some clothes.

"I'm sure he's fine. He's been gone much longer than this before."

Your lips contorted into a line, eyebrows knitted as you shook off the pain of the needle piercing the soft pad of your thumb. "I know. Just miss him, I guess."

Tilly just smiled and let you work in silence alongside her.

Arthur had gone to rob some stagecoach close to Emerald Ranch, along with Javier and Micah. You trusted Javier to help bring him back safely, but the addition of Micah made you nervous. He had a reputation of losing his cool and endangering the lives of everyone in a five mile radius.

Abigail had been very helpful the last couple of days. She understood every minor shift in your demeanor in the time he was gone. John was no stranger to long jobs, so Abigail knew exactly how it felt to sit idle while the men were out in danger.

John tried to be helpful, saying things about how Arthur had been bled half to death before and still made it back alive, but that only made things worse. You appreciated the effort, though.

It was getting close to evening now, the light of the sun slowly disappearing behind the horizon. You tried not to feel disappointed, knowing that if they were on the way back, they would likely stop and make camp for another night before arriving. Riding at night was never good unless they were on the way to a job. Riding back during the day was safer, and helped them keep an eye out for any witnesses or general hinderances along the way.

Just as you were about to resign yourself to your lonely bedroll for the night, the sound of rumbling hooves shook the ground under your feet.

You whipped your head around to see three healthy horses slowing to a walk near the hitch posts, each one carrying an upright, unharmed figure. You silently cursed the fact that Micah had made it back alive, but figured it was too much to hope that you'd get Arthur back and get rid of Micah in one day.

You didn't care what it looked like to the others, throwing all cares out as you rushed over to greet the man that had been haunting your thoughts for the last three days. He was just finishing up tying his big black shire to the post, taking the weight off his horse for the night, when you tackled him into a hug.

He stumbled slightly, your arms wrapping tightly around his waist as he snaked an arm around yours to steady himself. His breath tickled the top of your head as he chuckled. "Miss me?"

You scoffed and pulled your head from his chest, still gripping the sides of his jacket as you looked up at him. "You were gone three days!"

He smiled down at you and pulled you back against him, settling his other hand to cradle your head against his chest. "I missed you too, sweetheart."

All of a sudden, he withdrew, his eyes landing on the man a few feet away that was tending to his horse. "Javier!"

He turned. "Yeah, Arthur?"

"Tell Dutch me and my lady are goin' on a little vacation for a while, will ya?"

Javier nodded with a smirk, and you shrieked as Arthur lifted you onto his horse without warning. He followed shortly after, kicking his horse into a fast walk as a few wolf whistles resounded from camp.

You held onto his waist tightly as he sped up. "Where are we goin'?"

"Just into town."

"What are we gonna do there so late at night?"

You felt more than heard his responding chuckle. "Get a room."

"Oh. Oh."

The excitement that tingled through your body was electric, buzzing the whole ride there.

~~~~~~

You would have flustered at the knowing look on the hotel receptionist's face if you had been at all aware of anything but Arthur.

Arthur thanked the man before leading you up the stairs to the room, his large hand gripping yours the whole way there. You expected him to jump straight into action the second the door closed behind you, but instead his strong arms pulled you into a hug.

His arms encircled you and pressed you against him as he nestled his face into your neck. The vibration of his words against your neck sent sparks through your body straight to your core. "Thought about you the whole time."

You sighed into him, holding onto his as if he would disintegrate upon letting go. He only pulled back to gently tilt your chin up, pressing a sweet kiss against your lips.

The kiss was so soft, so filled with emotion, his fingers brushing lovingly across your cheek as your lips molded together. You were the one to lean into it, chapped lips parting and teeth nipping lightly at him.

The responding noise from him fueled your desire more, the desperate groan making your whole body ache for his touch. His hands moved from your waist to your hips, fingers bunching up in the fabric of your shirt as he fought your tongue with his.

When his rough fingers brushed against the bare skin of your waist, you whined into the kiss, arching into him. He chuckled against your lips, brushing his hands even further up your shirt and coming to a stop just under your tits.

You broke the kiss just for a moment to lift your shirt over your head, discarding it wildly behind you. You yelped as he lifted you and spun you around, walking you backwards towards the bed. You tugged him down on top of you, slipping a hand under his shirt to feel to ripples of muscle on his chest and stomach.

"Arthur," you whined, tugging at his shirt. He got the hint, discarding his shirt before meeting your lips again. His kiss was rougher this time, wet and messy as he took in the feeling of your body against his. You brought your legs up to circle around his waist, and you whimpered when he pressed his hips forward against yours, his hardened cock straining against his pants.

You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging lightly. He squeezed your hips in response, kissing down your neck and nipping at the skin on your chest.

His hands snaked around your back, undoing your bra without even pausing. He broke the kiss only when he pulled the straps down, revealing your chest to the open air. Your first instinct was to cover yourself, but he didn't even give you the chance.

You didn't have the brain capacity to be embarrassed at the sound that came out of you when he took a nipple into his mouth, gripping the other with his large hand. He groaned against you, his erection brushing against you. He was growing harder by the second, the mere sight of you arousing him intensely.

His unoccupied hand stroked down your stomach, slipping two fingers in the waistband of your pants. You nodded and begged desperately, writhing against him. "Please! Please, Arthur..."

He moved his lips to your other nipple, quickly unbuttoning your pants and ridding you of both them and your panties in one movement. His lips separated from your chest as he moved up to you, staring into your eyes with intense lust. "I'm gonna get you ready, baby, that okay?"

Your heart swelled with emotion, only intensifying your desire. Even when he was desperate with lust, he looks at you with such caring, always making sure your okay. "Yes, yes, please!"

He smiled at you before kissing you sweetly, slowly kissing down your body. You whined as his hot breath brushed your core, your head tilting up to look at him between your legs.

His eyes glittered with amusement as they met yours, a teasing finger brushing your inner thigh. It was so close to where you needed it, but so far. "You're a tease."

He chuckled, "Can't help it when you look so pretty beggin' for me."

You threw your head back and groaned, half in frustration and half in arousal. Your noise quickly shifted to a whine when he suddenly slid a finger across you folds, head fuzzy with pleasure. "So wet already. All for me, sweetheart?"

You groaned and nodded, hips shifting towards him in an attempt to get him to do it again. "Ah, use your words."

Your words were half whimpered. "Yes! All for you, only for you, please!"

"Good girl."

He swiped his finger through your folds again, this time teasing his fingertip around your aching entrance. You bucked against him when his thumb brushed against your clit, breathing coming out in short, whiny sighs. "Please."

"Whatever you say, baby."

You moaned as a finger slid into you, his thumb pressing harder against your clit. Before you could complain at the lose of stimulation when he removed his thumb, his lips connected and sucked harshly. Your moans were surely loud enough to be heard, but the pleasure that wracked your body was so overwhelming you couldn't bring yourself to care.

His finger slowly moved in and out, brushing against your sensitive walls as his tongue assaulted your clit. You tangled a hand in his hair, tugging harder than you intended. He groaned against you, making a jolt of pleasure shoot through you.

The stretch of another finger was added, making you cry out. It wasn't enough to be painful, just enough to make you stretch around him so deliciously. He pulled his lips off of you and looked down at you, eyes hungrily watching as your cunt swallowed up his fingers. You looked down at him, lips parted with pleasure as he worked his fingers inside you. "More."

He glanced up at you with a smirk, slipping in a third finger. It sent a small jolt of discomfort through you, but it was quickly overwhelmed with pleasure as the third finger pressed against the most sensitive parts of your walls. "Oh, fuck, Arthur!"

"Feel good, huh?"

"Yes! Please, please, I'm gonna cum!"

He sped up, his fingers pumping in and out of your relentlessly. He leaned back in to swirl his tongue against your clit, which made you walls start spasming around him. Your thighs tensed, threatening to close around him, but he pulled back and held your legs open.

"Go on, baby, I wanna see your pretty face when you cum."

You couldn't form any words as his fingertips curled inside you and prodded against you in a way that made you see stars. His encouraging words only pushed you closer and closer.

"Good girl, doin' so good for me." You moaned and clenched around his fingers, muscles spasming as the dam broke. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you came, short, whiny moans escaping your lips as he fingered you through it.

With a gentle kiss against your clit that made you twitch, he pulled his fingers out of you and rose to look at you. You forced your eyes open, smiling breathlessly up at him. "You okay?"

You couldn't help but laugh, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. "More than okay. That was amazing."

He smiled and kissed you again, slow and loving. You knew you could tell him you were done for the night and he would agree in a heartbeat, not even caring about his own unresolved desires. But his sweet kiss only fueled another spark, already tingling through your body. His moaned against your lips as you arched against him, legs moving to wrap around his waist and pull him against you.

He pulled away with a raised eyebrow. "You're a needy one, aren't you?"

"Only for you."

You pulled him back down, kissing him roughly and pressing your hands all over his bare skin. His hips bucked forward when you tugged at his waistband, his desperation shining through even when he tried to stifle it.

You pushed him back, catching him off guard and shoving him onto the bed. He chuckled and shifted further back, letting you swing your leg across his hips and straddle him. You leaned down to kiss down his neck, smiling at the soft murmurs of content as you nipped at his collarbone.

You reached between the two of you, unbuttoning his jeans and shoving them down. He helped you and kicked them the rest of the way off, leaving him in only his boxers. You stared down at the bulge that strained against the white fabric, a wet spot of pre cum soaking a part of it. You looked down at him with a proud smile. "I do that to you?"

His hands slid up your thighs and caressed you hips. "You do so much to me. More than you could ever imagine."

You leaned down to kiss him, pouring all your emotions of admiration and lust into it. His hands moved to your ass, squeezing as he groaned against your lips. Your hips pressed down against his. sending a shock of pleasure through you as your clit brushed against his clothed bulge.

He would have been content to kiss you like that forever, but you were growing more and more desperate with each touch. You slid your fingers into his boxers without breaking the kiss, gently stroking his cock. His reaction spurred you on, and you pushed his boxer down to release him.

You marveled at his size as he helped you discard his underwear, leaving him fully bare underneath you. He was thick, and longer than anyone else you'd ever had. Your hand continued to slowly stroke up and down his shaft, thumb smearing the beads of precum around him. You were transfixed on him, lost in the feeling of his soft skin against your palm.

"Fuck, baby, as pretty as you look doin' that, I don't wanna cum just yet."

You slowed your movements to a stop and looked up at him with a soft smile. The admiration you felt for the man beneath you was overwhelming, and you didn't know if you could ever truly explain to him how much he meant to you.

You slowly moved to kiss him again, soft and sweet. You let your hips relax against his, smirking as his hips shifted under you to gain friction. You moved your hips against his shaft, your cunt dragging against him. You continued grinding on him, breathing growing heavier as the tip of his cock teased at your entrance with each movement.

After a few more seconds of torturing him, you lifted your hips and gripped his cock, prodding him against you entrance. Before you moved, you pulled away from his kiss, sitting up and placing a hand on his chest for balance. He groaned as he looked up at you, poised above his cock, cunt dripping with anticipation.

Emotion shone in his eyes, gaze still so loving even when clouded with lust. With a sigh, you lowered yourself slightly, taking his tip inside. You knew it was going to be a stretch, so you had to restrain yourself and take it slow.

He groaned at the sight of your cunt swallowing him, even just the tip of him. You held his gaze as you lowered another two inches, fingers gripping his chest at the slight stretch. Soon, his hands gripped your hips tightly as he helped you sink down all the way, clit brushing against him as you were finally fully seated against his pelvis.

Your eyes were dark with lust, cunt clenching around his cock as you adjusted. His eyes flickered over you, rapidly moving between your joined bodies, your heaving chest, and your face. "So perfect. Take me so well."

His words spurred you to move, lifting your hips slightly and moaning sweetly as you sank back down. The pain of the stretch had completely disappeared, replaced with a blinding pleasure. You rolled your hips a few more times before rising further, speeding up.

His hands held your hips tightly, his thighs tensing as he tried to hold himself back. "Fuck, sweetheart, look at you. Swallowing me up like that."

His words only increased your desire, your hips rising and falling faster, legs lifting you further off his cock. His moaned as he stuttered out praises, hands tightening on your hips as you rose fully off him and slammed back down again. Your pace increased, his length filling you up perfectly and brushing against the sensitive spots within you.

You struggled to hold yourself as you got closer and closer, pace faltering. You whined, every breath coming out as a soft moan. "You're doin' so good baby, want me to take over?"

You managed a messy nod, and his hips immediately rose up to meet yours, hands moving your hips up and down on him. You threw your head back as your cunt spasmed, orgasm coming down hard and fast. "I'm- fuck! Gonna cum!"

"Go 'head baby, I've got you."

With his words, you moaned with your release, his cock still pounding into you as you rode it out. Your senses were fuzzy, everything covered in a blanket of pleasure. You didn't even realize he had flipped you over, your head against the soft pillow. As your vision cleared, you looked up at him, blissful smile on your face.

"You did so good, honey, think you can gimme another?"

You nodded blearily, spreading your legs further as he continued thrusting into at a ruthless pace. You were building up to another one fast, barely even recovered from your previous one. His hand rested against your throat, grounding you but not squeezing. "So gorgeous, my pretty girl. Look so good stuffed full of my cock."

You moaned pathetically, hands going up to hold his face and grip his hair. "You feel so good, Arthur, I- I love how you make me feel."

He groaned in response, slamming into your cunt even faster. "So tight for me, gonna make me cum. Where d'ya want me?" He struggled to get the question out, his voice stammering through moans.

"Inside. Fill me up, Arthur."

His hand tightened around your throat for a moment at your words, and he moaned loudly. "Fuck, you're gonna kill me."

His movements grew sloppier, fingers pressing against your throat as he pressed his lips to yours in a messy kiss. With a few more thrusts, your own orgasm came to a head, only slightly preceding his.

His groaned against your lips and your walls clenched around him, his cum painting your insides as you milked him. He fucked you through it, kiss growing softer as he slowed to a stop. He stilled inside you, pulling back to look in your eyes.

You looked back at him, lips curled into a soft smile as he rested his forehead against yours. He pulled out carefully, planting a sweet kiss on your lips to distract you from any discomfort.

He shifted to lay next to you, turning his head to look at you. "You okay?"

You smiled and looked at him. "With you? Always."

[naomikozura]

Playing With Fire: Chapter 4

Jason Todd (Red Hood) x Fem!Reader (Criminal)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Romance

Warnings: Strong language, use of weapons, trespassing, angst, trauma, emotional turmoil, mentions of Reader’s past, bribery, reader being a smart ass. (lmk if I missed any!)

WC: 9.3K

Summary: What happens when the one person you're supposed to kill, is the one you have a moment of shared recognition and longing with? What happens when your loyalties are questioned?

Series Masterlist

Chapter 3 || Chapter 5

The massive web of connections on the investigation board that laid on your coffee table made your brain go into overdrive. The clutter of maps, papers, photographs, and notes all pinned on the board and scattered on the couch and the table, it all slowly brought together your task at finding the direct hit to taking Red down. It had been a week since he broke into your apartment and threatened you, leaving you feeling more motivated to take him out than when you first started this assignment a month ago.

You had spent the majority of your time analyzing his patterns, putting together every hit he made and every operation under his watch. Each job, each stakeout, each tiny detail leading you closer and closer to dismantling his entire criminal empire.

You leaned forward, taking a quick sip from your wine glass before placing it on the table, pinning another point on the board, a meeting he had held with some of his partners that you scoped out. It was a normal monthly check-in, his partners updating him on the scope of the land, the hits they had taken, and the mention of the abduction of Amazo resulting in a failure. It was one of the final straws that made Black Mask's inquiry with Penguin. Amazo was supposed to help Sionis rise in the ranks, solidify him as a powerful hand in international trafficking. The entire operation stopped by none other than Batman and Nightwing. They also were pinned on the board, it wasn’t likely they were connected to Red, but they were on the board anyway. Any encounter was important. You laid back into the couch, soaking it all in as you crossed your legs, contemplating your next move. You could set a trap, lure him in and get him off guard.

It was a thought, but he was calculative and smart. He would probably see your attack from a mile away. You needed to plan around his strengths and expose his weaknesses.

You laid your head against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling before making your decision, your head lolling to the side and taking note of the time. It was still early. You could make it to the next point of contact.

You let out a breath, pushing yourself from the couch and changing into your stealth clothes, securing your mask above your nose and pulling your hood over your head, falling into the alley and speeding down the streets to your pinpoint location.

The air was thick with tension, the wind blowing as you slipped into the shadows of the abandoned factory, moving silently to not be caught by any potential security measures. You kept your breath even, scanning through the night with your night vision goggles, trying to find any sign of movement or suspicious activity.

Your eyes instantly locked on the black figure moving through the building, its movements calculated and careful, blending seamlessly into the darkness and staying practically invisible. You moved into the room, carefully treading as you moved towards the beams above the room, the walkway hanging from the ceiling, trying to stay hidden as you watched Red. He kneeled, watching as he pulled up a device that downloaded information from the data box that was wired in the wall. You felt your heart race increase, the plan playing through your head as you tried to focus. Your muscles tensed, waiting for the perfect moment to get him off guard.

Once Red stood, you pushed yourself off the walkway, your feet taking the majority of the impact as you kicked him, his head snapping to the side and landing on the ground, launching back at him with your knife as you cut through his arm. You felt his grasp as he slammed you to the ground, your anger taking over you as you jumped over him and grabbed his head, trying to snap his neck only to be met with him wrapping his hands around your ankles, twisting your body and forcing it on the ground. He slammed you down, his body crushing yours as you tried to aim your dagger at his throat. You felt a solid, forceful punch in the gut as he dug his knee into your side. Each of his hits met with equal force, your body tangled with his as you rolled and landed on top of him, your face meeting his crimson helmet as you tried to force the knife into his jugular, his hands forcing the knife to come to a halt as it shook in your grasp.

His eyes narrowed at you, a subtle scoff as he forced the knife out of your hands, disarming you as he wrapped his legs around your body, forcing you into the ground his leg forced against your back as he shoved your face into the concrete. Your breath hitched, gasping for air as the heat of his body burned through her, his intensity causing her to struggle underneath him.

“Getting better, sweetheart.”, Red’s voice was low, the vibration flowing through your bones in an eerie sensation. “Almost had me that time.”

“Get… off me.”, you struggled, your cheek pressed firmly on the ground as you struggled against his grip. His hold was unmoving, his presence full of lethal power. You met his gaze, his body heat causing your skin to burn, trying to push him off of you.

You could not let him get the upper hand, you strained against him, using all your force to get out of his grasp. You struggled to get to your feet as you felt his hand clasp around your wrist, spinning you around until your back was pressed against his muscular chest, his voice echoing in your ear.

“What are you doing here, (Y/n)?”, his voice rumbled in a deep octave.

“You know why motherfucker.”, you forced out, the venom laced in your voice as you glared dagger at him behind you. “You need to be taken care of.”

“Taken care of? Sweetheart, you’re so sure of yourself.”, you could hear the humor in his tone, the smirk that probably lingered on his lips under his mask. “You don’t think you could possibly take me down. I’ve gotten you three times in a row, don’t act like you’re better than you actually are.”

“And you think you’re big and bad?”, you spit at him, you annoyance growing, the extinguished fire reigniting itself as he held you in an iron grip. “You're a nobody, Red. You only have this hold on weak men because you can’t rise to the ranks on your own. You are nothing without Black Mask and Carmine’s rings.”

“You got a smart mouth on you. Talking about being a nobody.”, He grabbed your face, forcing your head closer to his. “Take away Penguin, take away your connections, take away everything that brought you into this life. Who are you?”

Your jaw clenched, your anger setting into your bones, your vision turning red at his obvious bait. Taunting was always his best card to play in order to get a rise out of you. There was nothing you hated more than people second guessing you, invalidating your work and efforts to get to where you were.

“I’m the one who’s going to fucking kill you.”, you seethed. “I’ll be the one collecting that bond on your head, and when I do, I won’t ever have to deal with your bullshit or Sionis ever again. I’ll be free to leave.”

His grip tightened, making your jaw ache from the force but you refused to flinch at the pain. You were getting under his skin, you could tell by his ticks. Looks like he also hated being second guessed.

“You think you’re untouchable, but you forget that you’re just human. You can die just as easily as the rest of us. It’ll be the greatest pleasure to watch the life drain from your eyes when I put a bullet through your fucking skull.”

“Watch your fucking tone.”

“Does it bother you knowing that you have no real power? That you’re nothing without taking territory and men from other crime bosses?” His eyes narrowed, the anger radiating off him in waves. He was trying to maintain control, but you could see the cracks in his composure. His grip on your face felt like a vice, but the pain was secondary to the satisfaction of getting under his skin.

You smirked at him. “I’ve dealt with worse than you and always received my payment. You're just another obstacle, another name on my list. And believe me, I’ve got a solid kill count.”

“Solid kill count yet you can’t make the shot that will actually count.”, he taunted. “You can’t touch me. You underestimate me and that is your biggest mistake.”

He shoved you away, making you stumble but you caught yourself quickly, standing tall despite the ache in your jaw. He paced, his fists clenching and unclenching, the muscles in his neck taut with barely restrained fury.

“Careful,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “Your smart mouth will get you killed, sweetheart. I’ll break you. Slowly, painfully. And when I do, you’ll beg for the end.”

“I’d rather die than ever have to beg you for anything.”, you watched as he straightened, his body on guard as you focused on him, ready for when he’d attack.

He lingered a moment, his gaze piercing into you as if he could see the very core of your being. Then, without another word, he turned, heading towards the door. The room seemed to exhale as he reached the exit, the air thick with the weight of his threat.

"This isn’t over, Red.", you spoke out as he walked away.

"No, it isn’t.", he called out. Just as he was about to leave, he paused and glanced back over his shoulder, his eyes narrowing with lethal intent. "If you follow me, I'll shoot you.”

The door closed behind him, the loud slam echoing through the room, leaving you standing in the middle of the room with your fists clenched at your sides and your gaze focused where he stood. There was a burning sensation in your chest, an anger that penetrated deep within you.

You wanted to scream, to punch something, to make him feel even a fraction of the rage he had put within you.

You stayed silent, the frustration boiling beneath your skin. You knew you couldn't afford to let it consume you. Not yet. There would be a time for anger, a time for revenge, but for now, you had to bide your time.

You need to be smart.

You need to be patient.

You would make the Red Hood regret ever doubting you.

Breaking into a high secured building seemed a lot more difficult than it was, bypassing the security system to run on a loop in order to not be caught. You slipped past the few guards inside, noting that the building being “highly secure translates to only three guards being on duty.

One at the entrance, one by the invaluable pieces of art and jewels, the last navigating the rest of the building, floating so his movements were unpredictable. It didn’t matter though, especially since you’d already made it inside. You needed to find the office and grab the intel you needed.

You moved around quietly, your all black suit helping you blend into the night as you navigated carefully through the halls. The downloaded blueprint of the building located the office was only a few doors down. Looking around the corner you noticed an opening, quickly going through and sliding into the dark office.

You skimmed through the office, taking note of the files cascaded on the table. Your eyes notice different company names and a long list of names. Lifting the paper, you noted it was a guest list. For what you couldn’t care less. This wasn’t what you were here for.

The file cabinet caught your eye, picking the lock and opening the first drawer, looking through the files quickly to find the one you were searching for.

“Always sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong” the sound of the deep, distorted voice made you jump, turning around quickly as his body was already pushing yours against the cabinet.

“Red”, you seethed.

“What are you doing, Y/n?”

“That’s my business. Not yours.” you countered, trying to discreetly find an out. He must’ve noticed because he moved his face closer to yours. “What are you doing here?”

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing, sweetheart”

You rolled your eyes at his comment, trying to push past him and move to the other side of the room, but right as you did you felt his hand wrap around your arm, pulling you into him. Your heart started beating, pounding in your chest as the adrenaline told you to find an out. You trashed against him, his arm wrapped across your chest to hold you in place as his gloved hand covered your mouth. You kept fighting him until his back was against the wall, your back flush against his chest, slowly calming down as you saw a small light illuminate the floor.

A guard.

You watched the floor light up, the flashlight scanning through the room as your heart pounded in your chest in hopes he wouldn’t go deeper into the room. You sank into Red’s hold, relaxing in his warmth. A part of you, the delusional part of you, found a sliver of comfort in the way you were against him. You could feel his heart in his chest, even and calm. How was he so calm? You pushed the thought away as you watched the light disappear down the hall, the door clicking as it closed and locked as the footsteps descended down the hall.

Once the click sounded, you snapped back to focus, turning away from him once you realized the position you were in.

“Thanks”, you muttered, forcing the gratitude out like it was acid.

“So you do know how to say thank you”, he teased before you snapped your head towards him, glaring daggers as he backed away.

You turned back towards the filing cabinet, skimming through until you finally found the file you needed.

Gotcha.

You turned, Red’s eyes focused on you as he sat in a chair nearby with a leg over the other and his arms crossed. He stayed silent, almost as though expecting you to answer but you didn’t.

“Let me guess. The file is in Sionis”, you contemplating answering him. “Why do you have bad blood with one of your boss’s partners?”

“Why would I tell you about my bad blood with Sionis?”

“So there is?”, he countered quickly.

“He… He’s a dog. He needs to be taken down a few notches, humbled.”

“That why you let me go so kindly?”, your jaw clenched. “You said it was spite, i’m assuming it’s because of him?”

“You’re making me regret not shooting you in the mouth.”

You opened the files, skimming through the information to confirm it was Sionis’ file. You placed it under your arm, turning to walk past him. He stayed silent, not questioning your actions until you paused.

You were still angry with him. Even more so than usual and yet him being here didn’t stir any emotions inside of you. It left you feeling confused at why he was so hot and cold. If you were the enemy to him, and you killed all his operations why didn’t he take his free shot to kill you?

Was he waiting for something to happen? Did he expect something to pop up and then he would take the first chance he could to get rid of you?

It didn’t make sense. He was so adamant the other day that you were probably the worst thing that could’ve ever happened and yet he stood five feet away from you watching your every move and not even trying to stop you from escaping with the file.

Why?

“They tasked me to kill you. I won’t do it because Sionis doesn’t deserve an easy out. You die, he regains his position as the top of the food chain and I’ll do anything to keep that from happening. Don’t think this is because I won’t kill you, because I think we both know I can.”

That was the last thing you told him before jumping on the table, jumping up and pushing the window open and climbing to the roof before running home.

The file contained an entire run down on Roman Sionis, his background, his upbringing, his family and criminal ties, even why the Sionis and Two-Face were at odds with one another. You needed to find a weakness, an opening to knock him down a peg, something to keep him from becoming the top dog in Gotham’s underground.

Ever since you met the man, you’d despised him. Your meeting went back longer than the meeting at the Lounge. You were certain Black Mask never recognized you, but you remembered him from when you first tried to gain footing in the underground. He’d sent his men to beat you to an inch of your life when he’d found you trying to steal from him to try and get some money. You were still weak, small, barely 16 and your appearance had changed a lot since you were a teenager. He’d left your body bloody and beaten, left to be attacked by others but you were able to drag yourself into a sewer drain and let yourself rest until you could find a way to tend to your injuries. It was the same time Penguin had taken you in.

You’d chosen this life to get away from the ghost that haunted you. You couldn’t go back to the family, go back to Gotham Academy, after Robin disappeared, you wanted to put that entire life behind you. It was easy to have all your problems solved, but you couldn’t be in that life without thinking about him. He’d made everything bright, made living with the family tolerable. The only way to get over him was to leave the life he made so bright behind.

That life never suited you, and you were fine with it. You’d rather work with Penguin and get the money you needed to leave by your own hard work, not because some rich family was giving it to you.

Sionis had ties to Arkham Asylum, being admitted there a few times before leaving and getting more of his business to take off. He had ties to almost every major criminal that was locked behind bars there and you wondered if there was something deeper in his connections. He already called one of those connections in and was set to be released soon. You let your brain overwork itself until you couldn’t focus anymore.

You couldn’t handle this, you needed a break, needed time to just be alone and bask in your own emotions. You let out a breath, pushing out of your chair and stretching your legs. You needed to get out, go on the field and do some real work, but your job with Calvi had taken up a good chunk of your time. You still needed him to be in contact with Penguin.

You pulled out your unmarked phone, dialing Calvi’s number, hearing the line ring twice before he answered.

“Calbera speaking.”

“Hey, Calvi. It’s Vivian.”, you said with a smile in your tone as your face remained neutral. “I was just calling to set another time to meet.”

“Vivian, it’s nice hearing your voice again.”, he said in a smooth tone, “Yes, we can set a time. How does tomorrow evening sound?”

Tomorrow.

You felt a tug at your chest as you looked at the calendar, your mind unsure of your answer before you heard him call your alias through the phone. Tomorrow was too… raw, but you needed to get this job done sooner than later.

“Tomorrow is perfect. I look forward to seeing you Calvi”

“The feeling is mutual. See you tomorrow Vivian”.

The line went silent, your eyes still focused on the calendar before turning and heading to bed, looking out at the sky as the small light from the stars barely shined through due to the light pollution. It was enough though, enough to get a good idea of what it would be like to see the stars in full effect.

~

“I want to go out to the mountains, like camping or something.”, you squint your eyes trying to see the stars over all the light from the buildings around you. You couldn’t see the stars that well but you imagined them well enough to see what they could possibly look like.

“We could go, you know?”, Robin looked up, standing next to you as the wind blew your hair and ruffled his own. “Let’s plan a day to go together.”

“I don’t even know who you are behind the mask and you’re asking me to go camping with you?”

“I could tell you.”, he shrugged. “I don’t see why I couldn’t talk to Batman and see if he’d let me.”, you stared at him, a part of you in shock at his openness to ask his mentor to let him reveal such a huge part of himself. The thing that made his identity a secret. Was he really willing to risk it all for you?

“Yeah, I’d like that”, you smiled at him before looking back up, the breeze wrapping around you like a blanket of comfort.

~

The next evening came quickly enough, the time slipping by as you busied yourself with getting ready and heading over to Calvi’s estate. The butler taking you inside and Calvi waiting for you in the foyer. He smiled at you with a charming look, reaching a hand out and leading you into his main sitting room. He fetched you some wine, the same red you had at the club a week ago when Red had barged in and ruined everything. You were still angry at him, beyond pissed, but the anger had dwindled with the days as you started to focus more on things that did nothing but cut you open on the inside.

Calvi talked mindlessly as you paid minimal attention to his words, everything flowing in one ear and out the other, your responses dry but you covered them up well with your eye contact and body language. He didn’t even notice just how detached you were from the situation and you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore than any other day. Today just wasn’t a good day for you. It brought back pieces of your past that left you to shreds and made you feel forgotten.

“Vivian, would you like to accompany me to a Gala being held in a month?”, you snapped up to him, your eyes focused on him as he stared at you.

“A Gala?”, you asked softly, still trying to focus on what he mentioned before this.

“It's an annual Gala held by some of the most prestigious businessmen in Gotham, every major partner, business owner, and A-list celebrity will be there. I’ve gotten a special invite to be honored for the evening for my business and would like to bring you as my plus one.”, he placed a hand on your knee, his eyes focused on you and hoping you’d say yes.

“An evening in your honor, that sounds…. Amazing.”, you replied softly, smiling as he focused on your lips. “I’m flattered that you’re asking me. Of course I’ll go as your plus one.”

“Great, I’ll forward you all the information you need. I think it will be a good way to celebrate the past two weeks of getting to know each other.”

You forced a smile at his words, noticing that he was taking this relationship in a different context than you had hoped. This was your way to get him to switch from working with Red to working with Penguin. You just needed to find the perfect opportunity to get him talking about his deal with Red and somehow steer to Penguin.

“So, Red Hood?”, you asked quietly. “I didn’t expect you to have ties with someone who’s been running rampant and causing a fuss on the street. It’s been all over the news recently.”

“He provides good protection, helps me get an upper hand in my operations and doesn’t let black market intel slip into the wrong hands. I think it’s a pretty secure system.”, he leaned back, taking a drink of his whiskey before looking over at you again. “Why the sudden interest, my dear?”

“No particular reason. I just know there are a lot more established people who run the crime rings. That’s all”

“How do you know about the crime rings?”, he raised an eyebrow at you, questioning you for a moment.

“Let’s say, I like to dabble in what goes on in Gotham’s underground matters. The rich, upscale life is too…. Boring.”, you confessed. It wasn’t a lie. Upper Gotham was boring and only consisted of rich assholes parading around like everyone owes them something.

“That is very true. I don’t think I can help make it less boring, can I?”, he motioned slightly, cocking his head as his eyes bore into yours.

“You already managed to make it less boring with our meeting at the club last week.”, you smiled, a mischievous grin painting your features. “I like seeing that side of things. It might be dangerous but…. It left me excited.”

His eyes darkened at your words. You were playing your cards right and he was slowly falling into it. You needed him to further bring up the topic, until then your hands were tied and you could only wait as he focused on your features.

You had your hair in a loose ponytail, one that wasn’t underdressed but not overdone either. It was a perfect inbetween that matched your laid back attire of a basic white tee and tan dress pants with your exposed necklace perfectly tying everything together. It was simple yet classy, not over done but not underdressed.

“I can bring more excitement if you want to join in on future meetings. Of course, if you’d be interested.”, your smile didn’t reach your eyes but you were good at covering it up with false excitement.

“I would love that, Calvi”, you touched his hand, clasping it and rubbing your thumb on the back of it before he leaned forward, placing a kiss on your forehead before kissing the corner of your mouth.

“I look forward to it then, my dear.”

You felt absolutely nothing. Yet, you couldn’t help but imagine if life would be more simple if you had been with someone like Calvi. Handsome, rich, intelligent, and able to hold his own when it came down to business and the underground. You wouldn’t lie to yourself, you knew he was successful and had a hand in the black market business, but you didn’t fall so easily for the charm of someone who had too many flaws, hidden secrets, more skeletons in the closet than you cared to deal with. His family business was dirty and their reputation was filled with all sorts of shady upbringings. Calvi was not the type of person you got involved with in any way that was for anything other than business.

After your meeting, he led you to the front, waiting for the car to come around and take you home, but you had requested the driver take you to another location once you had said your goodbyes and hopped into the car. The driver only nodded and drove 20 minutes to the other side of where you were supposed to be. It was late, almost 10pm. You hadn’t noticed your meeting with Calvi had been so late but that’s what happens when you agree to meet at 7pm instead of earlier like regular people. Once you arrived, you thanked the driver and got out, letting the wind hit your face as you walked down the street and up to the building that overlooked the water.

You rounded the building, finding the ladder shaft that led all the way to the top of the building. It was a tall climb but you didn’t care. You wanted to feel a sense of exhilaration climbing up so many floors just from the side of a building. You had been trained properly to ensure you wouldn’t fall and you didn’t. You reached the roof in ease after 10 minutes of climbing up the long ladder.

You walked over to the ledge of the building, over where it overlooked the rest of the surrounding areas and looked down at the place that once brought you good memories and feelings of happiness. You sat on the ledge and focused on letting yourself just bask in the moment.

It was chilly outside, your legs pulled up to your chest as you watched the water. It’d been a while since you came here, your heart constricting at the distant memories you’d shared with the Boy Wonder. It was secluded and no one ever came up here, it was perfect to just wallow in the past of everything. There were parts of you wondering if you came here enough, if he’d somehow show up too. You scoffed at the thought before fiddling with the pendant on your necklace that was perfectly exposed.

It wasn’t too long ago that you came back and sat in your own company to grieve through losing him. You never found out why and the closure would never present itself. You wanted to give him every excuse, every reason why he didn’t return but in the end it was to only ease your hurt.

Footsteps behind you broke you from your trance. The silence grew as you slowly turned your head, meeting the exact person you already knew it was. You were too tired, too burned out, too emotionally unwell to even be angry at his presence.

“What are you doing here?”, his voice questioned through the voice distorter, his distance making him easy to hear but still kept him far away enough to not come across as a threat.

“I come here all the time.”, you muttered, not caring to fight with him today. Especially not today.

“That wasn’t my question.” he repeated himself. “What are you doing here?”

You rolled your eyes, turning back to look at the water without answering him. Did he follow you here? He had a bad habit of keeping tabs on you when he needed to mind his business.

“Y/n.”

A simple call. Simple yet demanding.

“What?!”, you snapped. “Why are you following me? Just go away, give me peace at least today! You can go back to trying to kill me tomorrow, hell at midnight if you want but just go!”

He stopped in his tracks, the blanket of silence falling over you again. You noticed the sockets of his helmet move, his shoulders tensing as he looked at you, likely taking in your emotional state. You’d never shown a level of vulnerability to anyone before, but you were so close to breaking. The heat and pressure behind your eyes growing by the second.

Today was the day he’d left. The day he didn’t come back. You needed to be alone. You needed to process the hurt that you still carried in your heart. It was the only thing that made you weak and you hated it. How did some boy make you weak after fighting all those years to be strong? How was he your Achilles heel?

You could feel him still standing behind you, your lip quivering as you forced yourself to stay composed. His boots shifted before he walked to the ledge, standing there and staring at the water with you. You looked at him silently, trying to gauge why he was here. He didn’t say anything, just stood quietly as you sat on the ground with your legs to your chest and your chin resting on top of your knees.

The silence felt…. comforting.

He didn’t say anything else, you didn’t speak. You just basked in the silence together and it felt like he was giving you a silent form of support. You noticed his body relaxed, his muscles resting instead of flexed and ready to fight.

The heaviness in your chest grew into an overwhelming ball of emotion, but you forced yourself to push it away. You couldn’t break down in front of him.

You just couldn’t.

“I had a friend I used to meet here”, he spoke finally. “Seems like it was a lifetime ago”

You looked at him, your eyes softening at his confession. “Yeah. Me too.” you breathed. “It seems like it was a hundred lifetimes ago”

Silence again. You couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for him then, had he always been this dangerous? This cut throat and with a murderous edge?

“Were the two of you close?”, you broke the silence.

“We were. We became friends unconventionally but it was a good relationship to have.”, even through the distortion in his helmet making his voice change, you could hear how his tone softened from its usual rough and deep tone.

“That’s good. It’s hard to find people to have good relationships with”

“What about you?”, he asked, turning to you as you looked up at him from the ground, your eyes locked on each other and a moment passed in similarity.

“We had it good… but guess it wasn’t good enough”

Red looked at you, his body language open as he waited for you to continue.

“He disappeared. Just never came back. So..”

He didn’t say anything after that, just turned back to the water and soaking in the small bit of wind blowing your hair out of your face. You were not dressed for the weather but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. He moved his hand towards you, passing you a small item. You raised an eyebrow at him, grabbing the item before you felt the warmth flood your hands.

It was a hand warmer.

You silently thanked him, allowing yourself to soak in the quiet. The silence stayed for a while longer, maybe 20 minutes give or take before he turned, leaving you as you watched him walk away from the ledge.

“Hey”, you called to him, making himself too in his tracks and he moved his head to the side, waiting for your response. “It’s after midnight. You have a free shot right now”

He turned his whole body, staring at you silently seeing his eyes narrow slightly. You couldn’t see his expression but you felt something different in the air. He stared at you almost in empathy.

“I’ll save it for next time”, he muttered, turning and taking off, leaving you alone on the roof as you watched after him.

There was no way you just… shared your past with him, right?

You didn’t think too much about it, letting yourself bask in the cold silence before finally heading home closer to 1am. Leaving behind another part of your past as you went home to rest for the coming days.

It was dark, the lights from the city in the distance seemed to be the only thing illuminating through the night. You moved silently through the field, your senses on high alert and responsive. Your goal was simple: get inside the building, download your information, and leave before you got caught. You needed this information, it was another piece to your puzzle in bringing down both Sionis and Red. It was foolish to try and dismantle both of them, but you needed an upper hand.

Your heart pounding in your chest as you moved in, everything seemingly too calm. Scanning the area, you took in every detail, trying to catch anything that could raise alarms. It was quiet. Too quiet.

You slipped in through a window, jumping from the top of the building and landing softly on the ground, your footsteps almost non-existent.

You couldn’t be too careful, taking in the palettes of wooden crates organized neatly throughout the room. Anyone of these could trigger an alarm, or worse, get you caught in the middle of the workers trying to kill you.

You needed to go up a few floors, the server room being on the upper levels of the building. Moving through the room, you found the staircase, carefully moving and ready to jump over the ledge if the moment called for it. You were not going to get caught up like last time.

You pulled open the door, peeking in to securely sneak in. It was empty. The late hour could be the reason but something tugged at your gut telling you it was something else.

“C’mon, this way.”, a voice rang out, forcing you to press your back against the wall, flush to minimize being seen. Three men, probably patrolling or fucking around. Regardless, you needed to get past them. You waited until they passed, moving carefully as they left. You watched after them, double checking the hall before moving to the other end of the floor, reaching the secured room as you connected your drive to the security panel to hack into it.

The universe must love putting you in shitty situations, not even five seconds later the room filled with a flashing red overlay, an alarm blaring throughout the building. You snapped your hands up, covering your ears as you turned around, trying to ensure you weren’t getting caught or tripped an alarm. Nothing. Panic surged through you trying to find a way to get out of this without getting caught.

You heard the click of the door, your eyes widening as you pushed through, shutting the door and walking over to the server. You connected the flash drive, hacking into the system and downloading the information you needed. You heard footsteps from the hall, your heart pounding in your chest as you waited for the chip to turn green.

The handle rattled as the men barged into the room, your heart spiking as you swiped the flash before it could download everything you needed. Dammit!

The sound of gunshots erupting through the room sent you into overdrive, forcing you to face them head on and get out of the building. You moved quickly, the bullets missing you as you tipped over the desk and ducked behind it. Chips of broken wood flew all around you, the gunshots never ending as they moved closer towards you. You tried shooting back at them with your own fire, but it was four against one. You were going to get caught.

Fuck.

The gunshots stopped, your heart pounding as you tried to contemplate your options. A loud explosion threw you off, the guards cursing as gunfire started again. The shots getting louder before they stopped completely, then a lone shot echoed.

You stayed frozen, mentally preparing yourself for what you’d face if you stood. You turned, looking at the doorway, your heart dropped but flooded in relief. You pushed the thought away as the deep distorted words moved through the room.

“Move!”, he ordered you, the alarm getting louder as you pushed yourself to your feet, rushing to the door as meeting his eye line.

You hesitated, your pride eating at you before you clenched your jaw. You couldn’t be in debt to him. Before you could say anything, the sound of more men rang out. Red motioned for you to follow him and for some reason, you did just that. You ran behind him as you slipped through the hallways, his body ramming into a door, breaking it down as he kicked through the window, glass shattering everywhere.

Your adrenaline was pumping through you, your heart working overtime and your mind racing as you tried to keep up with everything happening around you.

“You coming or do you want to get shot?”, he taunted before he climbed out of the window, you following closely behind as you climbed the ladder to the roof. The outside of the building also had an alarm system, the blaring ringing in your ear as you tried to focus on getting out of the death trap filled with men ready to die for their cause.

You saw as Red’s body disappeared over the ledge, your lungs burning to reach the top and get a break from the chaos inside. A gloved hand extended itself, staring at it as you paused, taking it as Red hauled you over the top, your body crashing into his. He had a hand on your back, your hands on his forearm and chest, breathing in the air as you tried to catch your breath.

Why was it so hard to breathe right now?

You looked up at him, your hands still on his body as his gaze held yours. He didn’t narrow his eyes or seem annoyed, he just… watched you.

“I…” you sucked in a breath. “I had it under control”, you muttered.

“Sure you did, sweetheart”, sarcasm dripping from his tone. You rolled your eyes, your attitude less than it normally was.

He really did just come out of nowhere and help you, a tug in your gut making you question why when all he’d done the past month is try and kill you. Had he softened after the two of you saw each other on the roof? You doubted it. He always had ulterior motives and you needed to find what they were before it was too late.

In the midst of your trance, Red heard a snap behind him, his hands still on your body as he heard the cocking of a gun, the sound missing your ears entirely. He grabbed your body, shielding it as he jumped behind one of the metal containers on the roof as a rain of fire flooded the roof. They were shooting to kill, and he was not about to get killed by these brainless men.

You snapped out of your trance, the thud that you hit the ground with making you focus. Red’s body was over yours, his gun raised as he took shots at the men who came closer to the two of you.

These men were not easing up.

“A little help would be nice, sweetheart”, he grunted as he ducked, his back flush with the container.

“Right”, you muttered as you stood, taking out your pistol and reloading the mag and snapping it into place, taking aim as you shot at the men on the other side of the roof.

“What the fuck do they want”, you heard him curse next to you, taking another shot as one of the men fell to the ground. “We need to get out of here.”

“Oh really? I thought I’d set up a picnic”, you rolled your eyes.

His head snapped towards you, glaring and unamused before yanking you back behind the container. The bullet barely missed you.

“Stay focused”, he bit out.

“God you’re controlling” you made another shot, “Does it help inflate your massive ego knowing you’re calling the shots right now?”

“You’re annoying, you know that right?” the irritation evident in his tone and it made you smirk. You enjoyed getting under his skin.

“Never had anyone complain before, people love me”

“If you could stop talking and actually focus, we can get out of this shithole alive”, he forced.

“Thanks but I don’t need you to boss me around.”, you ducked before shooting back, dropping the mag and reloading.

“Clearly you do.”, he growled, aiming at the men, shooting one in the leg and another in the shoulder. “Watch for the guy with the patch.”

You narrowed in on the man Red described, the goon pulling out a grenade, about to throw it before you got a clear shot of his head, the bullet hitting its mark, his body thumping to the ground.

“Got him. Are you happy now?”, you straightened, seeing as all the bodies laid on the ground.

“Ecstatic”, he muttered, uncocking his gun and reloading the bullets. “We need to leave.”

“I think I can handle myself.”

“Oh my..”, he placed a hand on his helmet, almost like he was trying to calm down. “Can you not be difficult for once.”

“I was doing fine..”, you trailed off as he imposed on your space, taking up all the air in proximity and making you silent.

“You set off the security system when you broke into the server room.”, he loomed over you, his stance on guard and his muscles flexed.

“That wasn’t me.”, you bit out. “Someone else must’ve tipped the alarm, but I was careful.”

“You always have some excuse.”

“It wasn’t me”, your fists tightened. “I had it under control.”

“You were being cornered, outnumbered, and getting shot at, I wouldn’t call that under control”

“I didn’t ask for your help”, you glared at him.

The tension in his shoulders showed his irritation, “You never ask for help. That’s your problem.”

“And you’re always in the fucking way. That's yours.”, you bit back.

“God, we need to-”, he paused, “Fuck, here we go.”, he scoffed before grabbing your arm, pulling you behind him, his body shielding you as he unloaded his entire mag. More men came through the doors, rushing towards the both of you.

Red charged, throwing punches as you followed with the other goon behind him. Four of them focused on taking down you and Red. You jumped over one of them, and swung your leg around, kicking one of them in the jaw as they dropped to the ground. You ran towards the other goon, watching as he pulled out a knife and trying to strike you with it. You twisted your body around his attacks, dodging each one and hitting him in the gut.

The goon punched you, trying to dig the blade into your side as you threw yourself back, pushing yourself off the ground and disarming his weapon, throwing it to the ground. He grabbed your arm, flinging you over his head and slamming you down. You felt the ache in your back, but you couldn’t focus on the pain, you needed to get out.

You looked over at Red, watching as he fought off two men at the same time, both of them delivering and receiving hits from the hooded vigilante.

You focused, running towards the goon who was trying to kill you, punching directly under his jaw and his head snapping to the side with your second blow. His body dropped to the ground, turning as you ran over to help Red.

You jumped on the man’s shoulders, using your dagger and digging it into the side of his neck, his body toppling to the ground. Red quickly secured a hold on his goon, tightening his grip and cracking his neck sideways before throwing his body carelessly on the ground. You sucked in a breath as you took in the blood that splattered all over you. Your hands were covered, not that it was unusual, you were used to it.

“For someone so smart you get yourself in stupid fucking situations”, Red mocked.

“Yeah well, it comes with the job.”, you wiped the sweat off your forehead, looking up at him and sitting in silence.

Red did a quick overview, his senses kicking off as he watched you mess with something in your utility belt. The infrared in his helmet exposed the movement in the dim lit roof. His eyes narrowed, alarms going off. He noticed the staggered movements of a body, raising a gun and aiming for you. Without hesitating, he lunged, pulling you into him and pushing the both of you to the ground.

“What the hell?!”, you exclaimed, watching as he aimed his gun at the darkness, before heading a thud of a body. You watched as he narrowed his eyes, pulling you to your feet with him.

“Fucker was still alive.”, was all he said as he scanned through the roof again. “Almost put a bullet through your skull.”

God, how many times had he saved your ass tonight?

“It's clear.”, he motioned, you following behind him as he reached the ledge of the building. You stayed silent, shifting from one foot to the other before you swallowed your pride and broke the elongated silence.

“Thanks, for everything. For tonight.”, you forced out, hating that you had to thank him for saving you. You were always careful, tonight was just…. Bad luck.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Red’s voice was firm, but you didn’t fail to notice how it had a miniscule softness to it. It was less harsh than normal and it threw you off. You rubbed the back of your arm, feeling a vibration in your pocket as you took out your transmitter.

The message sprawled simply, but made your gut drop.

Sionis Industries, 2200 hours, Tomorrow. BM

Your eyebrows scrunched in confusion and annoyance, turning as Red stayed focused on you. What did Sionis want now? To torture you some more with his ridiculous tasks? Come onto you a little stronger? God, could he just leave you alone for once.

“Duty calls.”, you waved the device before shoving it back in its holder, turning away and jumping to the other building and disappearing.

Red watched after you, a tugging in his gut before brushing off the feeling. He couldn’t deny you were stubborn, hot-headed, smart… charming. Different than before. It made his irritation towards you lessened a sliver. He ignored the thought, leaving in silence as he stepped over the bodies of the men and disappeared into the night.

The room was empty, as you pushed the door open, three guards lingering at the entrance as you moved deeper into the room. Your eyes fell on Sionis leaning back in his leather chair, his gaze fixated outside and seeing you in the reflection. His gaze darkened as he turned, fixated on you like a predator. You hadn’t told Penguin about the meeting tonight, wanting to ensure Sionis’ reason behind meeting with you wasn’t for something completely unrelated to Red.

“Y/n, glad you could make it.”, his voice rang through the empty room, the windows surrounding every side of the room making you feel exposed. His corporate building was smack in the middle of Gotham, it was both strategic and dangerous. “Sit. We have business to discuss.”

“I’d prefer to stand”, you said confidently, not letting your nerves get to you. Sionis stared at you with serious eyes.

“I said. Sit.”, his voice was sharp, a vein popping on his forehead. When you refused to sit, he grabbed the bottle of whiskey on the desk and smashed it to the ground. Your body stayed still and held his eyes but a small fraction of you wanted to flinch. “I don’t have time for you to play these games, Y/n.”

“Then get to the point, Sionis.”, you spit out.

His maniacal laugh echoed as he moved towards you, his body towering over you in pure greed, anger, hatred. You could sense his itch to hurt someone, to punch them or even kill them. He wouldn’t touch you. You knew that much. He couldn’t risk losing his deal with Penguin, it would ruin his entire process to getting Red out of the picture.

“I just don’t understand, sweetheart.”, he spoke loudly as he picked up the glass filled with his whiskey, the bottle shattered at his feet. “It’s been almost two months. Why haven’t you caught the son of a bitch yet?”

Your jaw tightened, the reminder burning through you as you watched his calculative and taking note of your every word. “I’m doing everything I can. He has an upper hand, Sionis. He’s calculative, quick, and has eyes and ears all over the city. He’s always two steps ahead.”

“Doesn’t seem like you’re doing everything you can. This dirty piece of shit has been destroying my jobs! I’ve lost millions! Maybe my last request was too mired in subtlety. I want this man dead. Now, when I say dead, I mean seriously dead! Beaten, broken, his head mounted on my wall kind of dead! Either do it or I’ll convince Penguin for you to take his place instead.”

God, you never hated anyone more than Sionis. Red even didn’t make her as angry as Sionis did. He was ruthless, power-hungry, unhinged, and just purely psychotic. You were surprised at how tame he had been the past month, Roman Sionis did not have a reputation for being calm and composed. He was open and aggressive and that made him the top of the Criminal food chain. He was the one person you did not fuck with or betray. It always ended with someone getting tortured, beaten half to death, or straight up killed.

“Don’t forget I work for Penguin, not you.”, your eyes narrowed as you shoved your face in his a little more. “I’ll take care of Red Hood on my own time. I still have other jobs the Boss asks of me.”

Sionis fists clenched at his sides, his foot tapping on the floor as he analyzed your glare, looking for just the tiniest, miniscule chip in your facade. You were good at keeping things hidden, you never let anyone break through your walls. That was the only way to survive. Your stance solidified and your gaze hardened.

“I already cost him hundreds of thousands, he won’t let me take another hit at him so easily after busting two of his operations.”

Sionis’ smirk widened into a sinister, full smile, “You think a couple hundred thousand is anything? I lost millions! Get this fucker’s body on my desk soon or I will start shooting bullets down someone’s fucking throat.”

“Trust me, there’s nothing I want more than that bond you have on his head.”, you took a step back, his hand grabbing you.

“If you get his body on my desk by the end of the month I’ll double the bond.”

A million dollars.

You could be free. It was all you needed to finally get away. The last of your savings to put you in a secure spot. You already wanted to get rid of Red, the past few days meaning nothing to you in how he treated you. You knew it was all for his own selfish motives and this would be your selfish motive. A million dollars. That would make anyone go crazy.

“Consider it done.”

Sionis smirked, his dark face gaining more of an ugly maniacal appearance to it as he loosened his grip on your arm. “Good”, he hummed, returning to his desk. “If you fail, I’ll make sure to do my own look as to why.”

“Don’t waste your time. It’ll be done.”, you said finally, seeing his eyes follow you as you turned and left through the door, the guards letting you out before you reached the elevator. You clicked the lobby button and sat in your thoughts as you contemplate your next move. A million. It wasn’t a lot in the grand scheme of things. Relocating, moving, starting somewhere new, that would take the majority of the money, but it was enough to get you started.

The ring of the elevator brought your attention back to reality, stepping out into the lobby and heading out the door. You didn’t have a choice. You needed the money, you needed this assignment, you needed to get rid of Red. Your life quite literally depends on it.

The air outside was fresh, a stark contrast to the suffocating feeling inside of Sionis’ office. You took a deep breath, calming yourself before walking back home. You couldn’t let Sionis win, but right now, you were at his mercy.

Red needed to be taken care of.

Even though a part of you felt cold at the thought, it was the only way.

A/N

Hello everyone!

So so many of you have been sending me messages on here saying how much you love this story so far and it makes me so happy that you’re enjoying it! We finally get to see more of Red and Reader slowly get to know each other outside of the masks. I know it’s still picking up but the upcoming chapters will be full of more progression!

Again I cannot thank you enough and please leave comments, messages, or any questions!

See you next week xx.