#anyways UH HERE YOU GO

[sharpsuite]

MUNDANE MOMENTS DRABBLE PROMPTS Topic: Chishiya's comfy and can't help observing, as always. Except its sweet. For: @crue11

please enjoy this first little drabble of a mundane moment 💖

It's a change that Chishiya has a day off but Niragi still has work - at least for this morning as far as he knows. Chishiya doesn't particularly mind ; he's fine to let the other work and not bother him despite how he CLINGS to the man in his sleep. ( And HE DOES ; both consciously and unconsciously. There's been times where Chishiya's passed out early from work and Niragi joins him later; the blonde inevitably always ends up almost immediately tucking himself into Niragi's side even when he's still fast asleep. ) This morning though he practically drags himself from the warmth of the bed and makes himself comfortable on the couch in a nest of blankets. He blames the sun for how he drifts between moments of consciousness and dozing off while Niragi's typing fills the background sound.

He must have dozed off again because when his eyes flutter open, Niragi has his glasses on and is staring intently at something on the computer that Chishiya couldn't even FATHOM understanding. It's not his field of expertise and he's more than happy to leave that to Niragi - he asks questions just to watch Niragi's expression change and the PASSION and CONFIDENCE in his voice. The sight in front of him is a sight that Chishiya's seen plenty of times ; Niragi focused and lost in the world of technology. There's nothing about this particular instance that makes it stand out or UNIQUE from the usual times. Maybe that's part of the beauty of this moment. To find something special and beautiful in the mundane. Or maybe it's just the simple fact that Chishiya gets something like this at all. This strange, ABSURD change in his life that even he never could have predicted. All it took was one of the most vexing people he's met to change everything.

His eyes trail over Niragi's face ; watches his eyes dart about the screen and the cute glasses that are at odds with what his piercings suggest. Maybe it's not even the glasses themselves. Maybe it lies in the fact that Niragi LETS him see him like this. Maybe once lots of people did - but he can't imagine so with the man he'd met. But he likes the look on Niragi just as much as he loves the arrogant, maddening smirks. He likes how the sunlight falls on his hair and gently illuminates it, likes when his hair is half-pulled back just as much as when its loose and free. Everyone with eyes can see Niragi's attractive. It's not really THAT which captures Chishiya's interest or soft moment of admiration this morning. He likes getting to see Niragi work even when he doesn't understand what is happening on the screen. The you know what I mean? Niragi sometimes says when he's sharing some problem or example even though Chishiya absolutely does not. But he's happy to listen and does take interest in seeing Niragi's end results or his success over something no one else could manage. It maybe doesn't make sense to Chishiya, but it clearly matters to Niragi.

Chishiya tucks his cheek against one of the large fluffy pillows on the couch and draws the blanket closer around him, hiding a faint smile beneath the blanket covering his mouth. Niragi leans forward and Chishiya knows that means he's figured something out or at least has a theory and it's FASCINATING to watch Niragi's mind work and read the language he shares without saying a word. He's so focused Chishiya doubts he would even react if Chishiya said anything as it were anyways.

It's terrifying. Terrifying what Niragi causes in him, how he can fall for just the smallest gestures, that most of the time he knows exactly what Niragi's doing or what expression he's making even WITHOUT LOOKING. ( It's both flattering and infuriating the other man is just as skilled to be able to do the same with him. ) He shoves the thoughts away before he can dwell on it too long. He gathers up his blanket and moves to the kitchen to make his and Niragi's favorite drinks for the early morning. It doesn't take terribly long before Chishiya carefully carries Niragi's over and sets it on the desk. CLOSE TO BE SEEN, but not too close to be potentially knocked over or damage anything.

" Here. " His fingertips brush against Niragi's shoulder just enough to get his attention to the offering before he disappears back to the kitchen to get his own drink. He doesn't quite want to be caught admiring and being asked questions, so it's a momentary safety as he curls back up on the couch with his hot chocolate in hand. It's rich and sweet and just how he likes it. It's not like he has work. He could indulge in another minute or two of silent admiration. As long as he didn't get caught. ( Which would certainly end in his denial that might fool anyone else but wouldn't fool Niragi no matter how convincing. But that's what redirecting attention with a QUESTION was good for. )

[icewindandboringhorror]

(also feel free in the tags to clarify Why you made the choice you made!! :0c)

[coddda]

I wish we could have met in some other way.

Lawlight Week Day 2: Soulmates

If you saw me repost and re-edit this several times uh No you didn't </3

Still frames/Individual gifs:

If you know what every frame is from you get a free cookie. by the way

[abstractfrog]

Happy 1 year anniversary to Mr Sherlock Holmes! Here's a litttleee celebratory comic from me

[vaguely-concerned]

for what it's worth I personally don't believe spite had anything to do with the pantry near-kiss experience at all. I think that was a 100% lucanis naturel disaster no supernatural additives present or indeed required. at most spite was watching that whole situation go down with mild puzzlement about approximately every part of it, I don't think he'd have much interest in it one way or the other. the explanation seems much more mundane and grounded and in some ways much sadder to me.

if your nervous system has never been in a place where any surge of emotion, even -- in fact sometimes especially! -- a good and exciting one makes you feel like your soul just touched a hot stove it can't get away from, then sincerely, from the bottom of my heart and without a trace of snark, thank goodness and I hope you never experience it. For the rest of you... fistbump of solidarity it's rough out here but *grits teeth* we stay silly etc. In the place lucanis is in during that part of the game, feeling like you're losing control (again even for ostensibly good happy reasons) can feel an awful lot like you're dying, or worse. on top of everything else going on for him -- again going only with non-supernatural elements and not even comprehensive: a year of non-stop horrific trauma added to pile of previous mountain of childhood and attachment trauma. chronic sleep deprivation. apparently dead grandma doubling as mother figure. cousin-brother aggressively fucking around and in real danger of finding out. fucked up the ONE thing he thought he knew how to do that's been the central pillar of his identity. the world might be ending even more than it already was because of it. keeps faceplanting with barely any dignity and having to get up again with alarming regularity GOD how could I ever not save treviso this man desperately needs a W (just one!!) like few people in the history of the world have before him. he's more caffeine than man because the alternative feels worse. it's bad in here. and ON TOP of all that he's in the process of falling just. appallingly soul-shrivingly in love, which can notably be playing on hard mode even when you're in a mostly functional place, that shit routinely rocks people to the core under the best of circumstances.

so I'm not surprised it's too overwhelming for him to handle when he tries to throw himself in head first -- in fact I'd have been more surprised if it weren't lol. he clearly wants it so much, which only makes it so much more painful that he can't actually bear to touch it when it's offered to him freely and eagerly. this is the tantalus-level awfulness of this kind of attachment trauma; food seems to be right there, you can see it, almost smell it sometimes, but no matter what you just can't seem to reach it. seemingly not for any flaw in the existence of the food, but because of something broken in you that can't or can't bear to actually eat. his deliberate flirting routine is kind of deeply dorky tbh lol (in the most endearing way possible let's be perfectly clear) and I don't think it's entirely natural to him -- that's a hastily cobbled together 'oh god I am getting the vibes here it is happening for some reason they like me for my personality quick what would illario do' approach if ever I saw it, supported by the fact that it never really makes a return after this --

BUT I do think his obvious near-unbearable delight with rook's existence and person that shines through in that scene is entirely real and unfeigned. he likes them so much. he wants so bad to be able to be close to them. he's so hungry for the reprieve and release and relief they represent to him, just for one moment, just one break from all the awfulness to have something uncomplicatedly good. and it's here, it's been offered, he's welcome!!! and he has to flinch away at the last minute anyway because he's an exposed nerve of a human being. there's a point at which every sensation including joy becomes indistinguishable from agony. he's pretty much exactly at that point. for the love of god have some mercy on him people. the feeling that salvation is right here but you're too broken a vessel to hold it is one I wouldn't wish on anyone. let him have a few moments to stare into the void before he's ready to get back up and try again surely we all deserve at least that much lol

[itslilacokay]

CHOSENWEEK DAY 1 : CLOUDWATCHING

+ STICKTOBER DAY 28 : PRANK

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

for those confused about chosenweek, refer to this post!

[xxcrumbxx]

Hello hello soo um im still workin on it ,ive been kinda burnt out from it an ik thers no real preshure and im wayyy past valintinse day but heres a wip of those silly lil valintines cards

Also today is my birth day im 22 now so .. Thats a thing. Anyway im planing on making like 3 alternet vershions of eclips 1 with the cannon tipical 2 arm pre decomishion desighn 1 with the 4 armed fannon /cannon design and 1 with the 4 armed ballone world desighn. Probly ganna take a bit but what ever it will be valintine in fuckin may who cares lol

[amphibianaday]

day 1421

[hailsatanacab]

“To whom,” Alfred rasps, pausing to clear his throat and establish his sense of decorum, “May I ask, to whom do I have the pleasure of speaking?”

The creature stops, blinks its owlish eyes at him, and lets out a bark of laughter.

“Forgive me,” it says, still chuckling lightly, raising a hand to rub at the back of his neck. Alfred is suddenly struck by the feeling that this creature is not as timeless, nor as old or as wizened, as it wished to present itself. “I am making a terrible first impression. My name is Phantom, current High King of the Infinite Realms.”

Contractual Obligations by me!!!

I couldn't get the image of Ghost King Danny out of my head, so here he is!! Acrylic on canvas, and I'm so happy with it - he came out a lot better than I thought he would 😅

[teeayohess]

{ 18 simlish horror-themed recolors of misstiikeri+eir's m2f crooked tee } what a mouthful lmao

i wasn't too sure about how these had turned out at first, but after seeing them in game they actually grew on me, so here they are. thank you @gvaudoiin-tricou for encouraging me to finish them and share! i hope you like them :-)

since this is essentially a mash-up of several people's work (see credits), frankenstein-ed together, it feels pretty appropriate for the theme.... 🧟‍♂️🔪🦇🩸👽 consider this a tiny late simblreen treat, hehe 🎃

these separate tops are for AF only*, since that's what i needed in my game (but the TF/EF meshes should be easy to copy-paste onto) [edit: *added links to an AM version as well]

they are categorized as everyday, sleepwear and athletic (not sure who would want to sleep or exercise in fishnets but hey i'm not judging. also it's really easy to remove them if you like, since they're a separate texture from the shirt)

compressorized, tooltipped, and the files are labeled clearly. the swatch and previews are included in the rar file.

full disclosure, this mesh has a few issues i don't currently have the skills to fix: it has no fat morph (😑), and there is some clipping in places depending on how the sim moves, and a few dark spots (not super noticeable with the black texture, thankfully). if anyone feels inspired to fix the mesh or add morphs, i'll happily update this post and the linked file.

>>> get them here: { SFS } { MF } [edit: AM version here: { SFS } { MF } ]

credits, swatch & unedited pic under the cut.

swatch: (labeled according to the file names for easy id; i suck at reading simlish so 'flash' was all i could understand from that one, apologies if it's incorrect lol)

unedited preview: (taken in-game, with neutral lighting)

credits: the77sims & misstiikeri (original male mesh & 3t2 conversion) eir (m2f conversion) trillyke (fishnets), monilisasims (4t2 conversion) littlecakes (graphics), kalux (4t2 conversion) surprisepeach (graphics)

[grmpgm]

[magicshop]

and no one recovered [for @cordiallyfuturedwight]

[epsiphi]

so i saw THIS image online courtesy of twitter user @/offpridbird and it inspired me to look into the criteria for each of these disorders, and how they might fit him, so…

welcome to

My Analysis On Whether or Not Goro Akechi Has a Cluster B Personality Disorder (According to the DSM-V)

(this is a long post that took up TWELVE pages in my notebook so the nitty gritty is under the cut. tl;dr, there’s evidence in favor of all these)

now you might ask: what are your qualifications? to that i say: i’m a psychology student* who also happens to be a big fan of goro akechi. which is to say that i am not an expert; i just really like this fictional guy. my analysis is also based on my personal understanding of his character. so, you know, don’t flay me alive if i get a part of his character wrong. or do.

*high school

in case you don’t know what a cluster b personality disorder is: it’s a subset of personality disorders characterized by “dramatic, emotional, or erratic” behavior. it includes:

antisocial personality disorder (ASPD)

borderline personality disorder (BPD)

narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)

histrionic personality disorder (HPD).

this post covers ASPD, BPD, and NPD, because those are the disorders i’ve seen most ascribed to akechi. i might cover HPD some other time.

(also yes i seriously perused a copy of the dsm-v for this)

Borderline Personality Disorder

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment: we’re looking at mr. “I was extremely particular about my life…my grades…my public image…so someone would want me around!” over here. it’s made pretty clear that akechi’s perfect persona wasn’t something he just started doing when he became famous; it started after his mother died, once he was being “passed around from foster home to foster home”. he tried to be perfect so they would want him. it’s clear that none of them did.

2. A pattern of unstable and intense relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation: the only real relationships akechi has are with joker (no canon name discourse here) and shido. it goes without saying that neither of these relationships are very normal; on akechi’s part, both are characterized by his obsessions and love-hate feelings. akechi does also kind of have an idealizing issue with joker (putting him on a pedestal—which is admittedly something most characters do, but i feel like akechi is not any more normal about joker than anyone else)

3. Identity disturbance (markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self): i feel like this guy cycles between “i was cut from the cloth of god” and “i am the scum of the earth”. in thirdsem, he does not seem to have much of a self beneath his detective prince persona (by which i mean he’s very…blank? just look at his default portrait. very blunt and to the point)

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating): none of these apply in canon. he does seem to have issues with food (forgetting to eat, apparently eating little, not caring about the taste of what he eats vs. the appearance of it, he runs a food blog but it appears to be mostly for show). choosing to become a hitman for a comically evil politician who is also your father at age 15 would qualify for self-damaging, but might also fall under…

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior/gestures/threats, or self-mutilating behaviors: his revenge plan is so bad it’s borderline suicidal—not in the sense that he actively planned to kill himself afterwards or anything, but in the sense of he spent so long fantasizing about getting revenge that he literally never stopped to think about the day after. not envisioning a meaningful future is also suicidal.

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood: this confused the hell out of me at first. it essentially means rapid, intense mood shifts. i’m…not sure, actually. (i guess you could count the insane difference between his self in battle vs himself out of battle in thirdsem as this, but i’m not the guy who can answer that).

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness: remember that thieves den conversation where yusuke mentions how difficult keeping up an act for a long stretch of time is (in reference to the pts pretending not to know the truth about akechi in sae’s palace) and akechi responds with “Is that so? Well, you stop feeling things once you get used to it”? because i do. (note the use of a word as general as things) (also veering into hc: i’ve seen people say akechi’s sin, had his palace not been cut, likely would’ve been acedia, which is…indifference. emptiness.)

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger: have you seen the engine room. i think it’s always there, it’s just that he’s good at controlling it 98% of the time.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms: kind of on the fence about this one—leaning towards yes. i think this sort of applies to the interrogation room? he moves through a lot of it vaguely shocked + a few subsequent tv interviews. in the one soonest after 11/20–the “same strategy used in romance” interview—he has an oddly flat affect, which is funny given the context of how he’s being lauded as hero. like…he can’t even pretend to be happier. in the interview that occurs during the infiltration of shido’s palace (“none of these people know i was an undesirable child”) he mentions how the news of joker’s was dizzying—obviously he’s lying about WHY it was dizzying, but he still appears to mean it.

Total criteria fulfilled: 7/9. (Criterion 1, 2, 3, either 4 or 5 could be considered fulfilled but not both at once, 7, 8, 9)

for clarification: any suicidal behavior under criterion 5 cannot be counted in criterion 4. so if you consider “becoming a hitman for his scraped-off-the-boot-of-the-devil father at 15” as self-damaging but not suicidal, then criterion 4 is fulfilled. if you consider it suicidal behavior, then criterion 5 is fulfilled.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance: not sure how to describe this one other than “you know it bitch”

2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love: in my notebook i literally just wrote “yeah” for this. because i don’t have any articulated reason for this belief, i won’t count it as fulfilled criteria. but know i believe it

3. Believes that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or associate with, other special or high status people: by his own admission (confidant rank 2), akechi does not have friends—or as he says, “people i’d actively choose to see in my free time”. it’s not for lack of people who’d want to be his friend; this is in june, people are raving about him. so he probably has a million connections and people who’d love to hang out with him, but he doesn’t want to hang out with a bunch of nobodies. his trait in the artbook is that he gets distracted in conversation, which is a very light way of saying that he doesn’t pay attention to people because they’re boring and not worth the time. joker falls under “other special people”. also, on “believes they’re special”: there’s something to be said about how akechi awakens to his persona 2 years before canon, and how he was totally on his own. like, as far as he knew, he was the only person with these powers—the only person without a shadow, and as such, the only person without distorted desires. so naturally he would consider himself special. (ignoring that he literally kind of is)

4. Requires excessive admiration: guy who has spent whole life internalizing that he is inherently unlovable and worthless becomes a celebrity and puts up a perfect front because he needs people to love him; more at 9. (dsm-v also states: “Their self-esteem is invariably very fragile. They may be preoccupied with how well they are doing and how favorably they are regarded by others”. obviously. hello, 8/28)

5. Has a sense of entitlement (i.e. unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment): great time to bring up Relative Deprivation Theory—the belief that someone will feel deprived of or entitled to something in comparison to another. in akechi’s case: deprivation of acceptance/love in comparison to joker and entitlement to the same (“How does someone like you have things I don’t?!”). it’s interesting that he uses his fame as a reason why he deserves what joker has, when it’s why he doesn’t (fame is not love).

6. Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e. takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends): the core of his charm is manipulation and inherent dishonesty, so i kind of feel this is a given.

7. Lacks empathy (is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others): there’s Word of God that akechi is just like, “whatever” to anyone who isn’t joker, as in he doesn’t particularly care about anyone else on a deeper level (not a ship thing; just an observation). also does not seem to care about most of the people he kills or who he get hurt as a result of his actions (i.e. psychotic breakdowns).

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them: i mean…do i really have to say anything about this.

9. Shows arrogant or haughty behaviors: do i really have to say anything about this (2). it’s kind of everywhere in the third semester. if you want more evidence: look at his thieves den conversations (crazy)

Total criteria fulfilled: 8/9. (All criterion but 2)

i think goro akechi might be the most covert narcissist in fiction.

Antisocial Personality Disorder:

this one’s a little different than the others.

A. A pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others, occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (3) or more of the following:

1a. Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors, as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest: i’m no lawyer but i think murder is grounds for arrest.

2a. Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure: this guy lies as easily as he breathes. inevitably he’s lying all the time, considering no one is bringing up the fact that he’s a magic assassin until november 20th.

3a. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead: well, no, akechi is the type to overplan ahead. i do think he’s kind of impulsive, by virtue of the fact that he’s more emotional than logical.

4a. Irritability or aggressiveness: he hides both of these pretty well for the majority of the game but once third semester starts? irritability is off the charts. aggressiveness is usually confined to battle (despite many many many fan interpretations that would say otherwise)

5a. Reckless disregard for safety of self or others: murder and psychotic breakdowns that wreak havoc on public safety sure does suggest a disregard for others’ safety. choosing to become a hitman for someone you know is evil as a teenager also implies a certain disregard for self-safety.

6a. Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or financial obligations: nope.

7a. Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another: as i mentioned under NPD criterion 7–absolutely. emphasis on rationalizing (“My targets were all doing the same damn thing in this eat or be eaten world. All I did was remove their evil from society. How is that any different from the Phantom Thieves?”)

B. The individual is at least 18 years of age: well, yeah. he’s just barely 18 when you formally meet him on june 9th.

C. There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years: unfortunately akechi is not real, so we don’t have this information. i highly doubt it, though (specifically i doubt there would be evidence, if we believe he was already putting up the perfect front before he was famous).

D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or bipolar disorder: no (but uh. bipolar disorder is another topic for another day)

Criteria A fulfilled: 5/7. (Criterion 1, 2, 4, 5, 7). Criterion B and D are also fulfilled.

SO! conclusions:

the possibility of akechi having any one of these disorders is plausible

the real common enemy are the people who try and say akechi has no longstanding trauma/psychological issues. clearly, he’s got…something.

goro akechi is the cluster b final boss

[front-facing-pokemon]

[dreamerdrop]

Garak, ever curious about his dear doctor's obsession with the holosuites, decides to covertly gather up some of Bashir’s custom programs to inspect.

He finds a data rod labelled "bathhouse." From his research, human bathhouses are rather like Cardassian saunas, a thought which he finds rather interesting. He is, of course, only interested in how these human ideas of a "bathhouse" might compare to a proper Cardassian sauna.

(He is definitely not considering the possibility of how romantic it might be to ask his dear doctor to join him in one on a date... of course not.)

He secures a niche two-in-the-morning timeslot for the holosuites, and regardless of Quark assuring absolute discretion and privacy, prepares a second data rod to wipe the holosuite history himself afterwards.

He loads up the "bathhouse" program, expecting a tepid and quaint human approximation of a proper steam room...

"Computer, begin program."

And immediately learns far more about Julian Bashir and his preferences than he was ever expecting.

[vaguely-concerned]

To the ‘themes I am picking up on in Veilguard’ list, let's go ahead and add what I have a sneaking suspicion will actually turn out to be The theme:

— the world has changed and can never be as it was again.

— I have been changed and can never be who I was again.

— in this simple unavoidable truth there is endless grief and endless hope.

And I… may be getting a bit emotional about it haha. Let me show my work a bit: 

if da:o is a game about people who are already dead or half ghosts in some form (through societal forces, psychologically, functionally, literally, in body, through the joining etc.) coming together anyway to save the world from being swallowed by total nihilism and despair (symbolized by the blight) through the power of love and friendship and also this sword/potential heroic sacrifice that I found, da2 is a game about people who have lost their homes and been set adrift finding and building new homes in each other (while completely failing to save the world. also through the power of love and friendship. as well as years of petty bickering <3 we must imagine kirkwall if not happy then worth having been because the love was there the love was there and that's the only sanctifying force we can ever have in this doomed world and city of ours), and da:i is a game about old stabilizing-but-unjust comfortable lies vs. disruptive but potentially liberating uncomfortable truths, and the power of friendship to help us distinguish the one from the other and navigate through them...

folks… I'm starting to think that veilguard might be a game specifically about moving towards recovery and acceptance after trauma — about how even in this flawed, severed, scarred state, what is here right now is worth loving and worth caring for. even in an imperfect and impermanent world and self, there is worth and joy. and of course the first real tragedy — and threat — of Solas is that he just cannot find it in himself to accept this and move on, to let go of what was, the regret won’t let him go or he won’t let go of it. which means that even though on the surface it’s Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain (and the will to subjugate and violate they represent) who are the main villains, the real antagonistic force in this story beneath that is the Dread Wolf’s despair. A despair Rook must make an answer to by the end of the game, one way or another, compassionately or with righteous fury, triumphant or pyrrhic.

The world will change again and again and so will you — BUT the crucial element is that so will everyone else who exists along with you, you are fundamentally not alone in this existential truth. all we’ll ever have is each other and my god that is plenty, my god that is enough!!! Which is the second thing Solas just can’t accept, he keeps himself separate and completely alone out of an awful mix of fear and pride and feeling himself unworthy of anything else. Rook and the player want to save the world of Thedas because it’s where everyone we love lives, Solas wants to go back to the past because that’s the only neighbourhood where he can still visit those he loved — and the person he himself was, before. A very sympathetic and human instinct/trap to fall into when touched by trauma, I think, if only it wasn’t backed by godlike power, a fundamentally oppositional personality, and a catastrophic lack of therapy to make it literally everyone else’s problem too lol. It’s varric and solas’ banter about the man on the island and where meaning in a life comes from all over again, writ large and with detail work — and the added idea of ‘what if there are also other islands out there, though. With other people on them that you could find if you reach for each other’. Rook with the best of intentions has to make choices to which there are no perfect outcomes and live with what happens — and not cut themselves off from everyone else around them even when there is regret or shame. You get back up every day and you make a life with other people doing the same and you do your best, and that’s the only victory this world will give you. In the end, that is more than enough, that is essential. And I um. I love that. So much. It’s why some of the writing clumsiness on top can’t hurt me because this thematic spine is so solid and so beautiful to me. It’s DA2 all over again that way for me personally — I forgive this story for what it isn’t and couldn’t be, and I love it with my whole stupid open heart for what it actually is. Thank you for coming to my TED-talk and goodbye etc.      

(For my fellow TLT heads out there — you know what this story is reminding me of most of all, actually? It has some big Nona the Ninth vibes down there in the deep. It’s about… the horror and unspeakable beauty that can only be found in liminality, and the role of love in making that basic fact of existence bearable. And also even more unbearable at the same time. I'm so sorry.)