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five-hxrgreeves · 4 years ago

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I Won’t Back Down - Five Hargreeves x OC

Word Count: 1,982

You can stand me up at the gates of hell But I won't back down I'm gonna stand my ground Won't be turned around And I'll keep this world from dragging me down

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |

Pt. 3- Monday, April 1, 2019

The morning of the first dawned with a bright blue sky and perfect spring temperatures, almost in mocking irony of the fate it would meet later on that same day. Suspecting nothing amiss, Lola began her usual morning routine of getting ready for school. After brushing her teeth, she went to her closet and decided on a pair of jeans, a white, long-sleeved v-necked shirt with black polka-dots and after brushing her hair, hesitated over a choice of hats that she owned. While there was no strict dress code at her school, she did like to make a good first impression on Mondays. The rest of the week was up for grabs.

Coming to a decision, she reached for a yellow hat with a navy-blue ribbon around the crown that was tied in a bow and placed it jauntily on her head. The brunette was somewhat known around school for her unique accessories so she’d only been indecisive over which style she’d wanted, not actually whether or not to wear a hat. She then pulled on a pair of riding-styled boots and picked up her backpack, sliding her deck of cards into the back pocket of her jeans. Lunchtime was usually a boring affair so it was often when she would practice her magic- sometimes with a crowd to entertain.

On her route to school, Lola passed the familiar Umbrella Academy house and wondered what transpired within the walls, remembering the strange man she’d met the previous week. She wondered how long it had been since all of the siblings had seen each other since from Vanya’s book, it hadn’t seemed like they’d lived under the same roof for a long, long time. A smile flickered across her face as she thought of grown-up superheroes attempting to act like real siblings and the interesting, chaotic bickering that might ensue.

(Of course, she had no idea that such arguments might result in the end of life on earth.)

After that, the day passed as it usually did, with millions and billions of people completely unaware of what the night would bring.

Once dinner was over, Lola scraped her plate clean and set it in the dishwasher before turning it on to run, blatantly unaware that this would be the last time she did such a mundane action for a long, long time. Then, she made her way into the family room where her mother, father and uncle were sitting on the couch about to watch TV. Both men had their traditional after-dinner drink of two fingers of whiskey while her mother sipped on spiked hot coffee.

“Mom?” Lola asked.

“Yes, dear?”

“I’m going to the basement now, all of the dinner dishes are cleaned up.”

Her mother’s blue eyes- the ones she’d inherited- flicked to the younger girl, “alright, but don’t stay up too late. It’s a school night, you know.”

Her uncle grinned, “yeah,” he said, breaking to take a sip from his glass, “wouldn’t want you to show up all grumpy for school tomorrow.”

Lola sighed and nodded in acceptance, “alright, I’ll do my best,” she said, knowing it was more than likely she’d lose track of time anyway.

Moving first towards her mother, then father and finally her uncle, she gave them each a goodnight hug and exchanged their daily I love yous.

(She would be grateful that these were the last words she’d ever said to her family. At least she wouldn’t have to live wondering if her family had known she’d loved them.)

Then, she went to the basement.

Not even a mile away, the beginnings of an altercation were occurring at the house the size of a single block where the seventh, disregarded member of the family of superheroes was receiving a hostile welcome at the introduction of her new boyfriend, Leonard Peabody.

Lola liked her basement. It wasn’t terribly large but it wasn’t terribly small, either. Half of it was unfinished and the other half was lived-in, creating a perfect balance. In the unfinished side, metal shelves that one might see in a hardware store stood floor-to-ceiling with various tools and stored holiday items. Paint cans, electric machinery, extension cords and other items one would normally find in a shed were scattered haphazardly along the shelves.

In the other half, a carpeted floor of some green color stretched from the back wall to right before Lola’s writing desk. On top of it sat an old, brown-leather couch, a black wooden coffee table from IKEA and a TV hung mounted on the wall. After the carpet ended, removable foam-padded tiles formed the floor. This was the area where Lola’s desk sat which was a large, white table. The desktop itself was almost empty except for her half-filled notebook, three different-sized candles, a pencil sharpener and a pencil holder. Her papers- both for school and other things- were stored in a hand-me-down brown file cabinet that stood to the left of her workspace.

Before sitting down to write, the brunette carried out her ritual warm-up: lighting the candles, flipping to the next available page, sharpening her pencil and placing her reference books on her desk- The Book Thief, of course, and her new book from Vanya Hargreeves. Then, she pulled her deck of cards from her back pocket and placed the rectangular box carefully on the lower-left corner of her desk, making sure to match up the corners of the box with the outlined shape created by the corner. She wasn’t sure why she did this, it just was something she absolutely had to do before she finally sat down.

Once finished, Lola made sure to flip the electric lights off and returned to her seat which was a rolly-chair with one broken wheel. She began to write surrounded by her small pool of glowing, flickering light.

Today’s memory is from when I was six. (Note to self: find a better opening.) It was my first time at the store for hours on end. Usually, a babysitter would come by and pick me up but I suppose she cancelled. (NtS: get more details. Just kidding, nobody cares about that.) Anyway, I was super bored and since I was little, I didn’t have any schoolwork to do. I wandered around the store for a bit, probably causing mischief. Anyway (you already said that, dummy) the funny part is that I sat down at a group of mannequins because there weren’t any other seats and I must’ve sat so still that everyone thought I was one because when I finally stood up, a woman screamed. I didn’t know why at the time but it happened again when I was older. Then I started doing it for my own amusement. It was funny to see people think that I was a fake, plastic doll only to realize I was actually real. Sometimes, I even went to the back and dressed in clothes that would soon be modeled by the mannequins- although I think the effect was ruined because I didn’t fit them.

A story up and a block over, the altercation had grown to a full-blown verbal assault, the main four members of the family heatedly questioning the new boyfriend’s insistence on them coming to their sister’s concert. The seventh member, feeling hurt and angry that her family wouldn’t, just once support her, felt the tension build up within her, her emotions unusually high from the lack of medication she’d consistently taken for years until this week.

The spot was also great for people-watching. While Gimbel Brothers has mostly ordinary clients, there are some cases that are more noteworthy (NtS: fix wording, sounds awkward). There are many people who bring children to the store as well. On Mondays, there is an average of twelve children, usually after school. The number varies throughout the week until Saturday where there are usually fifteen or twenty. One time, as an outlier during the holidays, there were twenty-five. I know this because I counted them. I don’t usually do it intentionally and I’m sure I miss some customers but for some reason, all the numbers stick in my head. The funny thing is, I’m terrible at math. I’m also really good at cards, though. I’ve never lost a game of War or Go Fish. My uncle says I’m a counter, which I suppose is true. I’ve also counted all the sequins on one of our formal dresses, just for fun. There were two-hundred and eighty-six.

As the sky grew dark outside, the argument in the large house had reached an all-time high with Leonard Peabody outwardly insulting his girlfriend’s largest brother, inciting his anger and riling him up purposefully, causing him to throw the first punch. The seventh member of the family desperately tried to pull her boyfriend away, to save him from an assault that he would surely not survive. She was right about that, but there was nothing she could do. There was only one person Number One listened to and it wasn’t her.

Anyway, back to people-watching. There was once a rich woman who came to our store. No one could figure out why; we’re not exactly the high-end type. She brought her daughter with her, a pretty, blonde girl with bright blue eyes. Almost like mine, I think, but they looked better on her. I heard her tell Brittany that she wanted to get her granddaughter ‘normal clothes,’ except she said it like an insult. I figure that when her granddaughter came to visit, all she provided were expensive outfits and the girl spilled on them, teaching her the lesson of buying cheaper clothes for little kids. She didn’t say all of that but I made up the story to go along with her request.

Standing over Leonard’s body, the seventh member of the Hargeeves turned on her brother, eyes shining white against her pale face. In his hand, he held a bloody, glass eyeball. Her siblings crowded together, trying to calm her, but she spent all of her life being calm and she was tired of it. Turning her gaze to the academy, the building shook under a ten-point-zero earthquake, the bricks and concrete falling down in rapid succession. Tearing her gaze away from the sight of her childhood hell, she let sound waves resonate through the street, knocking over buildings and causing them to collapse, burying her siblings in rubble. Carelessly, she walked away as anger, sadness and hatred fueled her steps to her apartment where she changed and gathered up her violin for the world’s last performance.

She was very posh too, with fur and everything. She stood still long enough that I could study her coat, which had thirty spots. I’m not sure if it was real fur (if it was, she’s a horrible person), but she certainly acted very high-class, even speaking a little nasally and tilting her head up to look down on Brittany. I think it might’ve been because of Brittany’s skin color. The woman didn’t seem to be very accepting of hard-working people that looked different from her.

At ten o’clock pm, the close of the concert, sound waves so large they felled the building and many blocks over swept through the city. A short, dark-haired woman with a glowing white light in the center of her chest rose above the destruction, sending out pulses of sound to the far-reaching corners of the world. With no one to stop her, no one to shoot a gun next to her ear, the bottled power exploded from her chest sharing with everyone the feelings of hurt and neglect that she’d been forced to endure throughout her childhood. One person alone survived in a basement not much deeper than the fictional character’s she admired, writing away and completely unaware that the world above had changed beyond recognition.

#The Umbrella Academy #Umbrella Academy #five #five hargreeves #five hargreeves x dolores #five hargreeves x oc #five hargreeves x reader #Five x oc #five x dolores #tua five #5 #human dolores #pre-tua #apocalypse #hargreeves #dolores isn't a mannequin #vanya hargreeves

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years ago

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If sh hunted warlock for warlock marks as trophies,do you think they would be after magnus's cat eyes and Cat's... Entire skin? Does this make good metaphor for real world discrimination since Magnus has "asian" eyes and cat is a black woman?

yes, it would mean they are after that imo. im neutral towards this metaphor, especially as it doesn't really follow through since elias is also black and his warlock mark is horns, ragnor is white and has the same warlock mark (and then ten billion other ones in the books for some reason), and uhh do we even know what dot's warlock mark is? anyway

so i think for magnus and cat it might be a coincidence either way but like. assuming it was a metaphor. i guess i wouldnt say its harmful for once but its pretty on the nose and what does it add? not much. plus like, ARE asian people discriminated because of their eyes and black ppl because of their skin? those are elements that are used to draw differences between them and white ppl, sure. but discrimination goes way deeper than that and at the end of the day its not about any particular trait that ppl of a particular race might have, it is first and foremost about culture, about eliminating forms of existing and viewing the world that are not white supremacist modern-western-capitalist ones. so like, stuff like eye shape and skin color is a "mark" at best, a way to differentiate between white ppl and non-white ppl. it isnt really a reason for discrimination. so transporting that into a different mark that is also in the same place is just like- whatever, you know? swapping six for half a dozen, as we say in brazil. doesn't add anything, doesn't quite take anything away either. so, whatever

but that's just my personal opinion and i dont feel fully qualified to talk about this anyway since i 1- am neither asian nor black, 2- have a lot of racial privilege where i live, and 3- have mostly studied racism from a historical point of view and am very much a beginner in body politics (im not sure that's the appropriate term in english, im directly translating from ptbr). so, if anyome more qualified than me wants to weight in, feel free

#racism tw #genocide tw #ask #anonymous #salt

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mirkwoodshewolf · 4 years ago

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My life, The Doctor; 10th Doctor x Nurse!reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys I know it’s been awhile but I finally decided to work on another story outside the Queen/BoRhap fandom. Now this request came from @originalposter96 idk if this is your user name anymore but I hope you’ll be able to see it.

NOW WARNING HERE I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE!!! So I know absolutely NOTHING about surgeries or anything like that, so this may seem as lazy writing (sorry) but I hope you all still enjoy this fic. So since this does involve the reader being a Nurse there is a hospital involved, surgeries, blood, removing bullets, gunshots, and a slight trigger warning for Domestic violence (not between the Doctor and reader just some side characters).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@dancingcoolcat

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@ixchel-9275

__________________________________________________________

There have been many wonderous places I’ve been to, many wonderful people and creatures I’ve met. They all come and go in my life, whether through my adventures or by time itself all beings enter my life one way or another. But throughout all my previous lives, every single being in the Universe that I had ever known, one person was above and beyond special.

Her name was (Y/n) (L/n). And she—is and will always be the love of my life.

For a human she was extremely clever, sharp as a whip, but she was also kind, loyal, and the one thing about her is that she never gives up on anyone. As a Head nurse—oh did I forget to mention that? Yes my (y/n) is one of the best Nurses in all of England.

Anyone in her time or even in the future when she finally becomes an M.D. will tell you that she is one of the best. In fact she finds out future cures for worldwide pandemics (of course sometimes her board would deny her research and billions of people perish. Rotten bastards). Anyways, my (y/n) truly is one of a kind amongst the humans and I am glad to have met her.

And won’t she be surprised when she sees me. It had been awhile since I had last seen her (maybe since the day she graduated medical school just a year ago her time) and now with the Cybermen and Daleks taken care of, now’s a good a time to go see her.

I set the coordinates for her time period and flipped the switch allowing the TARDIS to activate and soon going through time and space.

*My POV*

April 14th, 2015, 10:05pm. It had been a long day. 5 surgeries, 3 MRI scans, a cancer treatment report, and 2 women in labor later, I was just about to drop right there on the floor. I was thankful that in like 20min. my shift was gonna be over.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead right on the spot.” I snapped out of my sleepy stage to see my good friend Chrissie Lang. She and I had graduated from the same Med school together, and had most of the same classes together. She and I are each other’s support system cause in this line or work—it can take a toll on you.

I remember this one time this woman came in at 6 months pregnant bleeding profusely from her legs. We both knew that she was suffering a miscarriage so we told to do what her Doctor told us to do, but by the end of it Chrissie was completely destroyed. She always wanted to be a mum and seeing something like that happen made her fearful for even trying to go for a baby with her and her boyfriend.

So for the next ten minutes after helping the woman out, Chrissie and I just held onto each other and shed our tears before we had to brush it off and move onto the next case we had. For those that say being a Doctor or a Nurse is the easiest job to do, they’re liars. The job can hit you not just physically, but mentally as well.

“After 2 days of not sleeping, I just might. Put on my tombstone (Y/n) (l/n). Died with a heart of gold and a stomach of caffeine.”

“That’s true cause I swear girl, you’re probably the most caffeine addicted person I’ve ever met.”

“I can stop whenever I want, these are just choices.” We both chuckled softly.

“Excuse me ladies, but would you mind helping me with something?” a familiar voice said to me. We both turned to our right and standing there with a bouquet of my favorite color of carnations was the Doctor.

“Of course, what can we do for you sir?” asked Chrissie.

“Hey Chris, why don’t you let me handle this?” I suggested.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, besides you’re about to clock out sooner than me, you go on and head home. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay, see you later (n/n).” she bid the Doctor good evening and he did the same. Once Chrissie left the lobby, I turned towards the Doctor smiling widely as he did the same.

I immediately embraced him and he picked me up and twirled me around, the two of us laughing together.

“Oh I swear every time I come back, you get more beautiful.” He said as he set me down.

“I’m just happy you got to come back at all.” I said as I cupped his face in my hands. His eyes grew soft as he placed his hands over mine.

“I know what I do is dangerous, but you know why I do what I do.” I nodded in understandment.

“I mean hell it wouldn’t be any different if you were human and worked as a police officer or a fireman. Hell we humans live in a dangerous world, anything could kill us.”

“Which is what makes me the Doctor.”

“It does indeed.” I stroked his cheek with my thumb and that’s when he reached for the bouquet he had set down on the front desk and he presented it to me. “You always know just how to cheer me up.”

“Figured you might’ve had a long, rough day. Thought a little color could be used to brighten up your day.”

“It sure did, thank you my love.”

“Anything for you my life.”

That was a thing between us. When we first started dating each other, we had a little code/nickname for each other. I call the Doctor ‘my love’ because ever since he literally dropped from the sky onto my doorstep, he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.

He’s quirky, bit of a goofball, can sometimes blow his top but that’s only when something really dangerous happens and he’s under stress (yeah I’ve traveled with him a couple of times during my time at Med school), but he’s also loyal, brave, beyond clever, and he always puts everyone else, especially the human race above himself. For the last of his species, he’s an incredibly selfless person.

He calls me ‘his life’ because whenever things get too hard for him, since he and I have been through some rough stuff due to our day to day life, I always try my best to comfort him. I know that he’s lost people, just like I have on a job, and it’s not an easy thing to get pass.

So we both try to be each other’s support system. We know there is always loss in the world, but the thing is to not let that be the driving point that always controls your life. You can use it to make you stronger, not let it drag you down any further.

“So how has my brave Dr. (L/n) been since I last saw her?”

“You know I’m not a Doctor yet, I still gotta go through the nursing program and then rise up in the ranks before I finally get it.”

“Oh rubbish, you should’ve been a Doctor right as you graduated.”

“Yeah well not according to the chief here.” I muttered annoyedly.

“Honestly though, that old fool wouldn’t know a good doctor if it turned around and bit him in the arse.” I shushed him but couldn’t help myself from giggling softly.

“You can be so cruel sometimes you know that?” he playfully shrugged.

“Only when it comes to people who hurt you.” he wrapped his arms around me and pecked my cheek. “How much longer till your shift ends?” I turned to the clock and responded.

“10 minutes. But…..I could clock out a little early since there hasn’t been a call.”

“Playing hooky ehh? You cheeky little minx.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat. As we leaned closer to each other about to kiss, the doors suddenly burst open and a frantic voice called out.

“HELP! HELP! MY BROTHER NEEDS HELP! HELP!” a blonde woman around her mid 30’s came in holding her brother who looked to be around the same age as her. Quite possible they might’ve been twins cause I could see some similarities on the both of them. Her brother was completely covered in blood and his lips were blue from blood loss.

“Okay Miss calm down. I NEED A STRECHER STAT!!” soon enough the nurses who were still here for the nightshift ran off as I walked towards the two siblings. “What happened?”

“My ex-boyfriend jumped us. He thought—he thought my brother was a new boyfriend of mine and he—he—oh god this is my f-fault!”

“No, no, no Miss this is not your fault.” As I tried to calm her down, the stretcher bed soon came in and a group of nurses helped the man on his back and began cutting away his shirt.

“I’m seeing 3 bullet wounds to the chest and one on his abdomen. Let’s move him!” I get onto the top right of him as we wheel him into the OR to save his life while another nurse stayed behind with the sister to calm her down.

I washed my hands and arms frantically and thoroughly before getting my shrubs and mask on. Already the destine nurses, assistants and now our head Doctor, Dr. Murphy came in and he said.

“What have we got?”

“Four shots in the upper body, two in the lower. He might’ve lost a pint of blood at least.” Answered Nurse Yasmin.

“Maybe 2-3. His BP is dropping fast.” Added one of the male Nurses, Derek.

“Okay, any of those bullets rupture an organ?” asked Dr. Murphy.

“The one in his lower abdomen is just a centimeter before hitting his small intestine. If we don’t get that bullet out first he could bleed out internally.”

“Okay keep an eye on his BP. I need fluids, scalpels, suction tubs, retractors……”

“Lucy….”the man groaned out.

“(L/n), do your thing.” Said Dr. Murphy. I nodded and came up to the man and said.

“Sir? Sir can you hear me?”

“Yes. Where—where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital. Your sister brought you in. Don’t worry she’s okay and told us what happened.”

“Good….good……She’s safe. I—I’d never forgive myself if—” he started fading out.

“Hey, hey, hey sir, sir stay with me now. What’s your name? Can you tell me your name?”

“Barry.”

“Okay Barry, I’m (Y/n) (l/n). My team and I are gonna help you but you need to stay with me for just a bit. Don’t give up on me.”

“It hurts….it hurts so badly.”

“I know, I know.”

“Give him a shot of morphine to numb the pain.” Dr. Murphy ordered. Suzie got the morphine bag and needle ready and slowly stuck the needle into his left arm. Barry hissed and I said to him.

“This’ll help lessen the pain. You won’t feel the pain as we try to get the bullets out of you Barry. But you gotta stay with me, okay?”

“I’ll—try……” he mumbled tiredly. I placed my hand on his cheek and looked up at his vitals and saw his BP was continuing to drop and his heartbeat was going down.

As I looked around me, frantically Dr. Murphy and all the nurses were working together trying to get all the bullets out of him one by one, less we risk him bleeding out as two teams tried to work out a single bullet. With the main one near his intestines cleared, Dr. Murphy and Nurse Helen worked on getting the few out of his upper chest.

All the while Barry kept groaning every now and then and his eyes were fading fast.

“Barry. Barry hey look at me boy. If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for your sister. From what she said about who had done this to you, you need to stay alive for her. What you did was heroic, but don’t let her see that that selfish son of a bitch won. She needs you, your family needs you.”

“I got the blood transfusion he now needs. Thankfully, we had our last bag of B+ in the storage bin.” A young male nurse who had only worked here for a year, Cody exclaimed as he came through the doors.

“Alright, start the transfusion now! We just got the last bullet out and his BP is dropping faster and faster!”

“You hear me Barry? We’re getting you your life back. But it’s gonna be up to you now. Don’t let him be the victor, not tonight! You hear me?” he groaned and looked right up at me and he whispered groggily to me.

“Why do you care so much?” I took a deep breath in and said as I stroked the hair from his face.

“Because so many people everywhere are already dying every day. Some because time has run out on them, others for serving their country, but there are the odds of people dying for now reason whatsoever. Or for stupid reasons that shouldn’t be a reason why someone should have to die, especially if it’s protecting their family member from some arsehole who can’t tell the meaning of the word No. Now your sister is out there waiting for you, if she loses you, she’ll have lost her Ace. Her only friend that has stuck by her through whatever it was that her ex-boyfriend did to her.”

“He…..always was a……selfish prick!” he coughed out.

“I’ll bet he was. But she survived him, and now you’ve got to survive too. Don’t give him that satisfaction that he took a life tonight. Can you do that for me?” he nodded softly and whispered out again.

“You’d make a great motivational speaker.”

“I was on the debate team back in secondary school. If you wanna hear more, you’ll just have to stick around Earth for a little while longer.” After his final stitches were in place, the blood transfusion began and it was then Dr. Murphy had Cody, Darren, and Helen wheel him into ICU. From there, Barry would be monitored 24/7 till he woke up from his post-surgery coma.

Dr. Murphy took off his mask and gloves before turning to me and he said to me.

“Nice job keeping him talking.”

“Just doing my job sir.”

*Doctor’s POV*

Unaware to anyone else, I had snuck into the upper levels to witness the surgery in progress. I watched as (y/n) stayed right by the young man’s side and kept giving him encouragement to stay alive. But not for himself, for his sister.

This. Is why she would one day go down in the medical books as the world’s greatest Female doctor’s. She always put the lives of the people her patient’s love over their own, then psychologically, the patient’s bodies would continue to fight on until finally they would find the strength to recover.

Of course she will have her failures cause that’s life. You can’t save everyone but you can work harder at saving the ones you can save in the future. She doesn’t let one failure get her down, that’s sometimes the curse of being a Doctor. When you lose people, it can really affect you. Even when those closest to you are the ones you lose. Believe me I’ve been there millions of times throughout my 10 life cycles (she’s lucky she’ll only deal with one).

By morning, the lad Barry managed to make a full recovery. His sister, Lucy repeatedly thanked all the doctors and nurses who helped out with saving her brother before giving her statement to the police.

I waited outside by the TARDIS for my beloved Doctor to clock out, and when she finally came out the poor dear looked exhausted. I extended my arms out for her and she gave me a tired smile before collapsing into my arms.

“Just when I thought I could get at least one early night in.” her voice muffled against my trench coat but I still managed to hear her. I softly laughed and rocked her gently as I assured her.

“I know, but hey if you hadn’t been here, that young man would’ve died.”

“Oh you know it was Dr. Murphy as well as a few other nurses that actually did the real operation to save him.”

“True, but you were just as important if not more. You kept him awake and talking.” I shrugged tiredly agree-to-disagreeing. “Now then, I think after a night like that, and from lack of sleep these past couple of days you deserve to be pampered and see the wonders of the galaxy.”

“How did you—”

“Besides the bags under your eyes, I’ve seen the amount of Starbucks cups at your apartment.” She groaned embarrassingly. God this girl and her coffee addiction, truthfully I never understood why humans choose that as their beverage of choice. I myself prefer a good Earl grey or even sometimes Jasmine tea but ugh that horrible bland stuff they call coffee?! Never. Again. Will that drink touch my taste buds.

“Care to show me the wonders of time and space?”

“Need a pick me up boost?” she nodded. I kicked open the doors of the TARDIS and hopped inside before extending my hand out to her saying, “First question is though; do you trust me?”

“Always my love.” She replied with that loving soft smile of hers as she took my hand.

“Then brace yourself my life, because I’m going to show you the sound of the Universe.”

“You mean…..”

“Indeed I do my love, the Music of the Spheres.” Her smile grew wider and I pulled her into the TARDIS before shutting the doors behind her and together the two of us ran towards the consoles of the TARDIS and I punched in the coordinates and soon we took off for the Music of the Spheres.

And who knows where our next adventure would lead after that? So long as I got my love, my life, my Doctor with me by my side.

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pemdasblog · 4 years ago

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PEMDAS - Special Year-End Edition - Albums

I love end of year lists because I like consensus, rankings and numbers. But consensus is all based on who gets to rank, and the people who get the most access to major publication rankings are white men, so the numbers are tainted by white supremacy, misogyny, and many other forms of bigotry.

Which makes it even more interesting to see what gets ranked where.

Here’s a Google Sheet I made of all the lists and I created a formula that basically measures how many times an album placed on a list as well as how high it placed on that list. I’m going to keep updating this list as it’s not done, but it’s fun to play around with right now!

According to my formula and the critics, the top 10 albums of 2020 (in order) are:

#1: Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

#2: RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

#3: folklore •• Taylor Swift

#4: Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

#5: Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

#6: Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

#7: Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

#8: Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

#9: Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

#10: Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

I also have a fun, unranked albums list brewing. I’ll release that at the very end of the year.

Click below for all of the publication lists!

The 50 best albums of 2020 •• ABC | Double J

Dan Condon

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Crossover •• Emma Donovan & The Putbacks

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

The Sharecropper’s Daughter •• Sa-Roc

Sideways to New Italy •• Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Chose Line •• Benny the Walker

South West •• L-FRESH the LION

Far Enough •• Cable Ties

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Nyaaringu •• Miiesha

You Be the Lightning •• Tracy McNeil & The GoodLife

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Suddenly •• Caribou

Our Two Skins •• Gordi

Down In the Weeds, Where the World Once Was •• Bright Eyes

græ •• Moses Sumney

Distance •• Jess Cornelius

King’s Disease •• Nas

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Batflowers •• Washington

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

ENERGY •• Disclosure

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Paid Salvation •• A Swayze & The Ghosts

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Ohms •• Deftones

Unity •• Gordon Koang

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Child in Reverse •• Kate Miller-Heidke

K.G. •• King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Aloha •• Son Little

The Modern Medieval •• Something for Kate

II: The Next Wave •• Quakers

Rome •• Josh Pyke

Fallow •• Fanny Lumsden

Optimisme •• Songhoy Blues

Original Cast Recording •• Braille Face

Colour by Number •• Leah Flanagan

Ultra Mono •• IDLES

What You Gonna Do When the Grid Goes Down? •• Public Enemy

Feral •• RVG

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

The best albums and songs of 2020 •• BBC Culture

Nick Levine

Best albums of 2020

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

folklore •• Taylor Swift

6 Music Recommends Albums of the Year 2020 •• BBC Radio - 6 Music

BBC Radio - 6 Music Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Shortly After Takeoff •• BC Camplight

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

England Is a Garden •• Cornershop

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

The Universal Want •• Doves

Deep Down Happy •• Sports Team

The 50 Best Albums of 2020: Staff Picks •• Billboard

Billboard Staff

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

After Hours •• The Weeknd

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Circles •• Mac Miller

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Manic •• Halsey

Tickets to My Downfall •• Machine Gun Kelly

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Colores •• J Balvin

The Album •• BLACKPINK

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

Before Love Came To Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

Atrapado en un Sueño •• Junior H

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Emmanuel •• Anuel AA

Love Goes •• Sam Smith

Suddenly •• Caribou

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

B7 •• Brandy

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Mesa Para Dos •• Kany García

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Kid Krow •• Conan Gray

Hecho en Mexico •• Alejandro Fernández

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Blame It on Baby •• DaBaby

Top 10 Albums of the Year 2020 •• Bleep

KiCk i •• Arca

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Cape Cira •• K-LONE

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry •• Speaker Music

Help •• Duval Timothy

Karma & Desire •• Actress

Shadow of Fear •• Cabaret Voltaire

Tara Clerkin Trio •• Tara Clerkin Trio

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Complex

Jessica McKinney, Andre Gee, Eric Skelton, Edwin Ortiz, Khal, Angel Diaz, Will Schube, Shawn Setaro, Lucas Wisenthel

After Hours •• The Weeknd

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

Circles •• Mac Miller

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

The GOAT •• Polo G

From King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Wunna •• Gunna

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

A Muse In Her Feelings •• dvsn

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

So Help Me God! •• 2 Chainz

Angelic Hoodrat •• Kenny Mason

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Dark Lane Demo Tapes •• Drake

Young & Turnt 2 •• 42 Dugg

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Top •• YoungBoy Never Broke Again

Mt. Marci •• Roc Marciano

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

One and Only •• Sheff G

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Limbo •• Aminé

UNLOCKED •• Denzel Curry & Kenny Beats

Anyways •• Young Nudy

Legends Never Die •• Juice WRLD

Industry Games •• CHIKA

Reasonable Drought •• Stove God Cooks

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

King’s Disease •• Nas

While the World Was Burning •• SAINt JHN

Only for Dolphins •• Action Bronson

Just Cause Y’all Waited 2 •• Lil Durk

Featuring Ty Dolla Sign •• Ty Dolla Sign

Detroit 2 •• Big Sean

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Top 50 Albums of 2020 •• Consequence of Sound

CoS Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Ohms •• Deftones

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Gigaton •• Pearl Jam

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & the 400 Unit

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

After Hours •• The Weeknd

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

Likewise •• Frances Quinlan

Ultra Mono •• IDLES

Forgotten Days •• Pallbearer

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Suddenly •• Caribou

Everything Is Beautiful •• Princess Nokia

As Long as You Are •• Future Islands

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

Giver Taker •• Anjimile

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Shamir •• Shamir

Lamb of God •• Lamb of God

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

The Greatest Part •• Becca Mancari

Power Up •• AC/DC

The Liz •• Armani Caesar

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

American Head •• The Flaming Lips

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

The Top 50 Albums of 2020 •• Crack Magazine

Help •• Duval Timothy

Indigo Dream •• E.M.M.A.

Mas Amable •• DJ Python

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Duma •• Duma

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Metal Preyers •• Metal Preyers

From Avoca Hills to the World •• Citizen Boy & Mafia Boyz

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

To Feel Embraced •• Sparkle Division

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Snoopy •• CS + Kreme

Dark Matter •• Moses Boyd

Pain Olympics •• Crack Cloud

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Cape Circa •• K-Lone

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Modern Bliss •• Roza Terenzi

Ten Billion Angels •• Zora Jones

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Cenizas •• Nicolás Jaar

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Black Nationalist Sonic Weaponry •• Speaker Music

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

Second Language •• Minor Science

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

Deep Technik •• MoMA Ready

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Pillowland •• Jam City

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

The 15 best albums of 2020 •• Entertainment Weekly

Leah Greenblatt, Sarah Rodman & Alex Suskind

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

After Hours •• The Weeknd

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

American Love Story •• Butch Walker

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Your Life Is a Record •• Brandy Clark

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Exclaim!’s 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Exclaim!

Exclaim! Staff

God Has Nothing to Do with This Leave Him Out of It •• Backxwash

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Suddenly •• Caribou

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Pantayo •• Pantayo

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

græ •• Moses Sumney

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Ohms •• Deftones

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Legacy •• Aquakultre

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Devouring Ruin •• Wake

How Ill Thy World Is Ordered •• Daniel Romano’s Outfit

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

DNA Activation •• Witch Prophet

Peaceful as Hell •• Black Dresses

Where Only Gods May Tread •• Ingested

Circles •• Mac Miller

2017-2019 •• Against All Logic

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Stygian •• Atramentus

ELEMENTS Vol. 1 •• TOBi

Reliever •• William Prince

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Sundry Rock Song Stock •• Yves Jarvis

Finds You Well •• Khotin

Underneath •• Code Orange

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Total Freedom •• Kathleen Edwards

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Free I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

The Best Albums of 2020 •• FLOOD

FLOOD Staff

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

græ •• Moses Sumney

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Women in Music Pt. III •• Haim

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

My Agenda •• Dorian Electra

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Shrines •• Armand Hammer

That’s How Rumors Get Started •• Margo Price

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

American Head •• The Flaming Lips

Si Miedo (del Amor y Otros Demonios) ∞ •• Kali Uchis

Song Machine: Season 1 - Strange Timez •• Gorillaz

Moveys •• Slow Pulp

The Gigwise 51 Best Albums of 2020 •• Gigwise

Gigwise Staff

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

folklore •• Taylor Swift

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ohms •• Deftones

Circles •• Mac Miller

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Sex, Death & The Infinite Void •• Creeper

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

The Archer •• Alexandra Savior

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Night Network •• The Cribs

I Disagree •• Poppy

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

Modern Dread •• Denai Moore

K.G. •• King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Working Men’s Club •• Working Men’s Club

We Live Here •• Bob Vylan

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

I Grow Tired But Dare Not Fall Asleep •• Ghostpoet

925 •• Sorry

Got To Be Tough •• Toots & The Maytals

græ •• Moses Sumney

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

Three Mile Ditch •• The Wytches

England Is a Garden •• Cornershop

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

In This House •• Lewsberg

Optimisme •• Songhoy Blues

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Monument •• Keaton Henson

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

Hyper Romance •• Jadu Heart

Container •• The Wants

The Prettiest Curse •• Hinds

In Waiting •• Pillow Queens

The Reson for Hardcore Vibes •• Joe & The Shitboys

Gorilla vs. Bear’s Albums of 2020 •• Gorilla vs. Bear

Chris

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT || Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Weaving a Basket •• Sea Oleena

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Fires in Heaven •• Salem

Galore •• Oklou

What’s Tonight to Eternity •• Cindy Lee || Cat O’Nine Tails •• Cindy Lee

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Taken Away •• Moodymann

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

Alletiders •• Alle

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Because of a Flower •• Ana Roxanne

How Much Works •• Sweet Whirl

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

The Don of Diamond Dreams •• Shabazz Palaces

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Hunger for a Way Out •• Sweeping Promises

Your Hero Is Not Dead •• Westerman

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Remote Control •• Discovery Zone

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Help •• Duval Timothy

Yes •• Shinichi Atobe

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

I Was Born Swimming •• Squirrel Flower

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Mia Gargaret •• Gia Margaret

I Feel Alive •• Tops

Karma & Desire •• Actress

Crooner qui coule sous les clous •• Oï Les Ox

Bobby Joe Hope •• Jon McKiel

Motherhood •• No Joy

Land of No Junction •• Aoife Nessa Frances

acts of rebellion •• Ela Minus

Cave Vaults on the Moon •• Tan Cologne

Sundry Rock Song Stock •• Yves Jarvis

A Mythology of Circles •• Faten Kanaan

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Good Songs for Bad People •• Drab City

Roped In •• North Americans

Sorceress •• Jess Williamson

Phoenix: Flames are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

Fantasy Chapel •• Riches

Ride Lonesome •• Young Ejecta

Shimmering Basset •• The Green Child

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

The 50 best albums of 2020 •• The Guardian

Ben Beaumont-Thomas & Laura Snapes

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

folklore •• Taylor Swift

græ •• Moses Sumney

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Suddenly •• Caribou

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Circles •• Mac Miller

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Working Men’s Club •• Working Men’s Club

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

I Think I’m Good •• Kassa Overall

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Karma & Desire •• Actress

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Made in Lagos •• Wizkid

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Three •• The Necks

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

The Best Albums of 2020 Ranked •• The Line of Best Fit

The Line of Best Fit Staff

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

The Baby •• Samia

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

græ •• Moses Sumney

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

The Worst Generation •• Che Lingo

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

I’m Your Empress Of •• Empress Of

We’re New Again: A Reimagining •• Makaya McCraven

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

Beginners •• Christian Lee Hutson

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Show Pony •• Orville Peck

The Angel You Don’t Know •• Amaarae

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

The Amanda Tape •• THEY.

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Someone New •• Helena Deland

Whatever, Man •• BLACKSTARKIDS

folklore •• Taylor Swift

SOURCE •• Nubya Garcia

Without People •• Donovan Woods

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Warnings •• I Break Horses

So When You Gonna... •• Dream Wife

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Now or Never •• Giggs

SISTER •• Mina Tindle

Circles •• Mac Miller

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

The Prettiest Curse •• Hinds

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

EDNA •• Headie One

Dark Hearts •• Annie

Best Albums of 2020 •• The New York Times

Jon Pareles, Jon Caramanica, and Lindsay Zoladz

Simmering Emotions, Louder Explosions Jon Pareles

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

græ •• Moses Sumney

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

SIGN •• Autechre

The Art of Taking One’s Time Jon Caramanica

Southside •• Sam Hunt

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Pray 4 Love •• Rod Wave

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Poems of the Past •• Powfu

Changes •• Justin Bieber

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

and 27 more for a chaotic year...

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Trap Tumbado •• Natanael Cano

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

City on Lock •• City Girls

Underneath •• Code Orange

From King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

Dark Lane Demo Tapes •• Drake

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Positions •• Ariana Grande

A Rock •• Hardy

Violence in a Quiet Mind •• Haux

AUNTIE •• Ian Isiah

Atrapado en un Sueño •• Junior H

Levon James •• King Von

Just Cause Y’all Waited 2 •• Lil Durk

God Made a Woman •• Lauren Mascitti

LP5 •• John Moreland

Before Love Came to Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Rosetta •• Dua Saleh

Jesus Is Born •• Sunday Service Choir

Easy Money Baby •• Myke Towers

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

After Hours •• The Weeknd

The Dream •• Hailey Whitters

Top •• YoungBoy Never Broke Again

Rebel Yells, of Passion and Fury Lindsay Zoladz

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

No Dream •• Jeff Rosenstock

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

folklore •• Taylor Swift

The Best Music of 2020 •• The New Yorker

Amanda Petrusich

No. 1 •• Etran de l’Aïr

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & the Alchemist

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Honorable Mentions:

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Un Canto por México Vol. 1 •• Natalia Lafourcade

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

The New Abnormal •• The Strokes

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Sheldon Pearce

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

græ •• Moses Sumney

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Act II: The Patents of Nobility (The Turn) •• Jay Electronica

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Thank You For Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Mutable Set •• Blake Mills

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

APOLLO •• Fireboy DML

Couldn’t Wait to Tell You... •• Liv.e

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

The 100 Best Albums of 2020 •• Noisey (Vice)

Noisey Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT || UNTITLED (Rise) •• SAULT

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

EDNA •• Headie One

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Bartees Strange •• Live Forever

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke

BRAT •• NNAMDÏ

Shame •• Uniform

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Full Wack No Brakes •• Bad Boy Chiller Crew

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Cruisin’ with Junior H •• Junior H

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Inlet •• Hum

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Eternal Atake (Deluxe) •• Lil Uzi Vert

Lament •• Touché Amoré

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Rich Slave •• Young Dolph

Fires in Heaven •• SALEM

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

City On Lock •• City Girls

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

The Great Dismal •• Nothing

Welcome to O’Block •• King Von

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

Thank You for Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Àdá Irin •• Navy Blue

Featuring Ty Dolla $ign •• Ty Dolla $ign

Scacco Matto •• Lorenzo Senni

Grime MC •• Jme

Viva el Perreo •• Jowell & Randy

Phoenix: Flames Are Dew Upon My Skin •• Eartheater

The Goat •• Polo G

Speed Kills •• Chubby and the Gang

Common Prayers •• Walter Martin

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

Burden of Proof •• Benny the Butcher

Eternity of Shaog •• Esoctrilihum

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Corridos Tumbados •• Natanael Cano

The Prince of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

A Muse in Her Feelings •• dvsn

KiCk i •• Arca

Circles •• Mac Miller

Rise Above Hate •• Unknown T

I Love You 2 •• Hook

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

From a King to a GOD •• Conway the Machine

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Healing Is a Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

12th House Rock •• Narrow Head

Watch This Liquid Pour Itself •• Okay Kaya

Growth & Development •• 22Gz

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Weight of the World •• MIKE

Auto-Pain •• Deeper

Bino Rideaux •• Outside

Tearless •• Amnesia Scanner

Made in Lagos •• Wizkid

U-Void Synthesizer •• Machine Girl

Take Time •• Giveon

Pure X •• Pure X

Last Year Was Weird, Vol. 2 •• Tkay Maidza

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Starmaker •• Honey Harper

So Help Me God! •• 2 Chainz

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Have You Lost Your Mind Yet? •• Fantastic Negrito

Just Look at That Sky •• Ganser

7G •• A. G. Cook

Vibras de Noche •• Eslabon Armado

Immersion •• Primitive Man

Supergood •• Duckwrth

The Weather Up There •• Jeremy Cunningham

Underneath •• Code Orange

El Androide •• El Alfa

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

SIGN •• Autechre

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Occupational Hazard •• Mozzy

The Freelancer’s Blues •• Dougie Poole

4 Da 304′s •• KentheMan

Best Music of 2020 •• NPR

NPR Music Staff

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

Adès Conducts Adès •• Thomas Adès

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Source •• Nubya Garcia

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Expectations •• Katie Pruitt

Data Lords •• Maria Schneider Orchestra

Underneath •• Code Orange

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

JAGUAR •• Victoria Monét

Regresa •• Buscabulla

Dawson: Negro Folk Symphony •• ORF Vienna Radio Symphony Orchestra

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

A Small Death •• Samantha Crain

Pauline •• Ashley Ray

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Siti of Unguja (Romance Revolution on Zanzibar) •• Siti Muharam

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

My Turn •• Lil Baby

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Spider Tales •• Jake Blount

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Fuck the World •• Brent Faiyaz

Debussy • Rameau •• Víkingur Ólafsson

Muthaland •• Bbymutha

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

En Español •• The Mavericks

Thank You For Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

The experience of repetition as death •• Clarice Jensen

Inside •• X Alfonso

Total Freedom •• Kathleen Edwards

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage / Metro Boomin

some kind of peace •• Ólafur Arnalds

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Giver Taker •• Anjimile

Don’t Feed the Monster •• Homeboy Sandman

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Paste

Paste Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

songs •• Adrianne Lenker

græ •• Moses Sumney

Suddenly •• Caribou

Reunions •• Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

God Has Nothing to Do With This Leave Him Out of It •• Backxwash

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

The Great Dismal •• Nothing

Welcome to Conceptual Beach •• Young Jesus

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Healing Is A Miracle •• Julianna Barwick

Youth Pastoral •• Ben Seretan

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Inlet •• Hum

KIND •• Thanya Iyer

Miss Colombia •• Lido Pimienta

acts of rebellion •• Ela Minus

Ultimate Success Today •• Protomartyr

Anime, Trauma and Divorce •• Open Mike Eagle

Bonny Light Horseman •• Bonny Light Horseman

Speed Kills •• Chubby and the Gang

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Shadow Talk •• Cafe Racer

Source •• Nubya Garcia

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

The Baby •• Samia

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Free I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

Celebrated By Strangers •• Catholic Action

Lianne La Havas •• Lianne La Havas

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

Just Look at That Sky •• Ganser

Somewhere •• Gum Country

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Pitchfork

Pitchfork Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

græ •• Moses Sumney

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Act II: The Patents of Nobility (The Turn) •• Jay Electronica

Heavy Light •• U.S. Girls

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Have We Met •• Destroyer

The Angel You Don’t Know •• Amaarae

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

SOURCE •• Nubya Garcia

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

Thank You for Using GTL •• Drakeo the Ruler

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Melee •• Dogleg

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

The Passion Of •• Special Interest

Hannah •• Lomelda

Help •• Duval Timohy

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

KiCk i •• Arca

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Room for the Moon •• Kate NV

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

how i’m feeilng now •• Charli XCX

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

The 60 Best Albums of 2020 •• Pop Matters

Pop Matters Staff

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Outland •• Ital Tek

UNTITLED (Black Is) •• SAULT

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

3.15.20 •• Childish Gambino

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Ohms •• Deftones

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Private Lives •• Low Cut Connie

Suddenly •• Caribou

Song Machine: Season 1 - Strange Timez •• Gorillaz

Keleketla! •• Keleketla!

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

I’m Your Empress Of •• Empress Of

Before Love Come To Kill Us •• Jessie Reyez

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

The Cycle •• Mourning [A] BLKstar

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

The Universal Want •• Doves

We’ve Landed •• Tony Allen & Hugh Masekela

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Eno Axis •• HC McEntire

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Ultrasonic •• Field Works

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

VOICES •• Max Richter

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

Neon Cross •• Jaime Wyatt

Cenizas •• Nicolás Jaar

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

Amazones Power •• Les Amazones d’Afrique

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

The Piano Equation •• Matthew Shipp

Making a Door Less Open •• Car Seat Headrest

Silver Tongue •• TORRES

BRAT •• NNAMDÏ

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Wooden Cave •• Thin Lear

Quietus Albums Of The Year 2020 •• The Quietus

The Quietus Staff

Dances/Curses •• Hey Colossus

Shall We Go On Sinning So That Grace May Increase? •• The Soft Pink Truth

The Passion Of •• Special Interest

Fountain •• Lyra Pramuk

Energy Is Forever •• UKAEA

Help •• Duval Timothy

Be Up A Hello •• Squarepusher

Kitchen Sink •• Nadine Shah

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Guerilla •• Nazar

Only Darkness Now •• Alison Cotton

Alles in Allem •• Einstürzende Neubauten

SIGN •• Autechre

First Seance •• Land Trance

Duma •• Duma

These Charms May Be Sung Over a Wound •• Richard Skelton

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Type II •• Sex Swing

Dark Hearts •• Annie

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

The Common Task •• Horse Lords

Workaround •• Beatrice Dillon

7 Weapons Series •• Howie Lee

Zoom •• Upsammy

Free Humans •• Hen Ogledd

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker & The New Breed

Cumbia Siglo XXI •• Meridian Brothers

Serpent •• MXLX

Because Of A Flower •• Ana Roxanne

Forever Underground •• Phantom Posse

There Is No Year •• Algiers

Heart’s Ease •• Shirley Collins

Mestarin Kynsi •• Oranssi Pazuzu

Silver Ladders •• Mary Lattimore

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Edna •• Headie One

Mas Amable •• DJ Python

Have We Met •• Destroyer

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Glory Days •• Heather Leigh

Blues •• Lamin Fofana

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

To Kiss Earth Goodbye •• Teleplasmiste

The Night Chancers •• Baxter Dury

Barbarians •• Young Knives

Fast Edit •• Still House Plants

Jp4 •• Junglepussy

Loom •• Katie Gately

Flower Violence •• Blóm

A Late Anthology Of Early Music Vol. 1: Ancient To Renaissance •• Jennifer Walshe

Cantus, Descant •• Sarah Davachi

Big Conspiracy •• J Hus

Endless Wound •• Black Curse

if i don't let myself be happy now then when? •• More Eaze & Claire Rousay

Seven Storey Mountain VI •• Nate Wooley

L’Inattingible •• Delphine Dora

Rock Sutra •• Sun Araw

Róisín Machine •• Róisín Murphy

Heaven To A Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Visions Of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Returner •• Closed Circuits

Scacco Matto •• Lorenzo Senni

Lamunan •• Antonina Nowacka

Future Teenage Cave Artists •• Deerhoof

Não Fales Nela Que A Mentes •• Nídia

SKEEN •• Mariam Rezaei

Winterreise •• Jerskin Fendrix

May Our Chambers Be Full •• Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou

how i'm feeling now •• Charli XCX

Superstar •• Harry Pussy

The End Of Their World Is Coming •• Dead Meat

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

KiCK i •• Arca

World Serpent •• Memnon Sa

Pedernal •• Susan Alcorn

Cwm Gwagle •• Datblygu

Beyond The Floor •• Geld

Trinity •• Laylow

The Big Exercise •• The Homesick

Malibu Liquor Store •• Shit And Shine

Couldn't Wait To Tell You... •• Liv.e

No Era Sólida •• Lucrecia Dalt

Abscess Time •• Pyrrhon

Thug Ambient •• Dale Cornish

Pillowland •• Jam City

Crabs In A Bucket •• Nines

Hidden In This Is The Light That You Miss •• Regis

Prole Art Threat •• East Man

Evil Spirits Who Prowl About The World Seeking The Ruin Of Souls •• Haq123

Toutes Ces Horreurs •• Satan

Figures •• Aksak Maboul

Mind Hive •• Wire

2020 •• Magik Markers

Training Day 3 •• Potter Payper

Swirling •• Sun Ra Arkestra

Nah Nah Nah Yeh Yeh Yeh •• Luminous Bodies

Aux Pieds De La Nuit •• Nyx Nótt

6 •• Pharaoh Overlord

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Rolling Stone

Jonathan Bernstein, Emily Blake, Jon Blistein, Jon Dolan, Patrick Doyle, Brenna Ehrlich, Jon Freeman, Kory Grow, Christian Hoard, Joseph Hudak, Elias Leight, Angie Martoccio, Claire Shaffer, Rob Sheffield, Hank Shteamer, Simon Vozick-Levinson

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Letter to You •• Bruce Springsteen

City on Lock •• City Girls

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Map of the Soul: 7 •• BTS

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

græ •• Moses Sumney

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Never Will •• Ashley McBryde

Honeymoon •• Beach Bunny

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Plastic Hearts •• Miley Cyrus

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Manic •• Halsey

To Love Is to Live •• Jehnny Beth

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

Shamir •• Shamir

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Petals for Armor •• Hayley Williams

After Hours •• The Weeknd

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Private Lives •• Low Cut Connie

Got to Be Tough •• Toots and the Maytals

Traditional Techniques •• Stephen Malkmus

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

McCartney III •• Paul McCartney

Haunted Painting •• Sad13

Alphabetland •• X

Aftermath •• Elizabeth Cook

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

Power Up •• AC/DC

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

Good Souls Better Angels •• Lucinda Williams

Growth •• Kareem Ali

Love Is The King •• Jeff Tweedy

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Albums of the Year 2020 •• Rough Trade

Rough Trade Staff

Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Song For Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

Beyond the Pale •• Jarv Is

So When You Gonna •• Dream Wife

Viscerals •• Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs

Bedroom •• bdrmm

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

Sideways to New Italy •• Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever

England Is A Garden •• Cornershop

Galore •• Oklou

Protean Threat •• Osees

Ultra Mono •• Idles

Suddenly •• Caribou

What Kinda Music •• Tom Misch + Yussef Dayes

By The Fire •• Thurston Moore

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Wu Hen •• Kamaal Williams

Wake Up! •• Hazel English

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Jump Rope Gazers •• Beths

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

Seeking Thrills •• Georgia

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

There Is No Other •• Isobel Campbell

Head Above Water •• Brigid Mae Power

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Old Flowers •• Courtney Marie Andrews

Sixteen Oceans •• Four Tet

Loco •• A Certain Ratio

Ummon •• Slift

Coriky •• Coriky

Keleketla! •• Keleketla!

That’s How Rumours Get Started •• Margo Price

Introduction, Presence •• Nation Of Language

some kind of peace •• Olafur Arnalds

Walking Like We Do •• Big Moon

Bug On Yonkers •• Damaged Bug

WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

Home •• Romare

Infinity of Now •• Heliocentrics

3D Routine •• Mush

All or Nothing •• Shopping

Fading •• Pole

Flower of Devotion •• Dehd

Heritage of the Invisible II •• Aqulies Navarro + Tcheser Holmes

Blue Hearts •• Bob Mould

All the Time •• Jessy Lanza

WILL THIS MAKE ME GOOD •• Nick Hakim

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

Myopia •• Agnes Obel

Anywhere But Here •• Habibi

Man Alive! •• King Krule

Invisible People •• Chicano Batman

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

I Grow Tired But Dare Not Fall Asleep •• Ghostpoet

Cenizás •• Nicolas Jaar

Straight Songs of Sorrow •• Mark Lanegan

Friday Forever •• Everything Is Recorded

Pleasure Line •• Video Age

Happy Birthday •• Sneaks

Shortly After Takeoff •• BC Camplight

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Voices •• Max Richter

Even in Exile •• James Dean Bradfield

The True Story Of •• Bananagun

Making a New World •• Field Music

Only for Dolphins •• Action Bronson

Midnight Manor •• The Nude Party

The Juice That’s Worth the Squeeze •• Cherry Pickles

The Long Goodbye •• Riz Ahmed

Colourfield •• Dan Michaelson

Stray •• Bambara

Collector •• Disq

Gentle Grip •• Public Practice

Miss Anthropocene •• Grimes

Reunions •• Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

Tender Epoch •• Rudy De Anda

Bonny Light Horseman •• Bonny Light Horseman

Moveys •• Slow Pulp

Alphabetland •• X

The Land that Time Forgot •• Chuck Prophet

Up in the Air •• Bent

Mind Hive •• Wire

UNLOCKED •• Denzel Curry x Kenny Beats

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

High Risk Behaviour •• Chats

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Have We Met •• Destroyer

The Ascension •• Sufjan Stevens

Visions of Bodies Being Burned •• clipping.

Articulation •• Rival Consoles

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

Marigold •• Pinegrove

It’s Only Us •• Monophonics

Debris •• Keeley Forsyth

Superstar •• Caroline Rose

Truth or Consequences •• Yumi Zouma

Mother Stone •• Caleb Landry Jones

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Slate

Carl Wilson

ALBUMS

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Likewise •• Frances Quinlan

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Diet Cig, Bully, The Beths, beabadoobee, Beach Bunny, Mitski, Torres, Down Time, and Emily Brown

Beginners •• Christian Lee Huston

Down in the Weeds, Where the World Once Was •• Bright Eyes

Artlessly Falling •• Mary Halvorson’s Code Girl

Pedernal •• Susan Alcorn

Zurich Concert •• Jaimie Branch & The Dave Gisler Trio

Beverly Glenn-Copeland

Here It Comes Again [EP] •• Cate Le Bon & Group Listening

L’inattingible •• Delphine Dora

Solar Wind •• Joëlle Leandre, Robert Dick, and Miya Masaoka

Memory Game •• Meredith Monk & The Bang On a Can All-Stars

Fra Det Onde •• Fra Det Onde & Emil Nikolaisen

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

DISCO •• Kylie Minogue

Chromatica •• Lady Gaga

Positions •• Ariana Grande

The Album •• Teyana Taylor

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Modus Vivendi •• 070 Shake

Songs for Pierre Chuvin •• The Mountain Goats

Getting Into Knives •• The Mountain Goats

Day of the Tiles [EP] •• Human Hearts

Island •• Owen Pallett

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

Gold Record •• Bill Callahan

Home Time •• Darren Hayman

Alphabetland •• X

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT || Untitled (Black Is) •• SAULT

We Are Sent Here by History •• Shabaka and the Ancestors

Dark Matter •• Moses Boyd

Source •• Nubya Garcia

Universal Beings E & F Sides •• Makaya McCraven

Swirling •• Sun Ra Arkestra

To Know Without Knowing •• Mulatu Astatke & Black Jesus Experience

Dutch from the 5th •• Dutchavelli

Send Them to Coventry •• Pa Salieu

Stormzy & Skepta

Crabs in a Bucket •• Nines

J Hus, Headie One, Tion Wayne, D Double E, Blanco, Young T & Bugsey, Kojey Radical, AJ Tracey, and Ghetts

on the tender spot of every calloused moment •• Ambrose Akinmusire

Suite for Max Brown •• Jeff Parker

America the Beautiful •• Kahil El’Zabar

Omega •• Immanuel Wilkins

Good Days •• Chicago Underground Quartet

8: Kindred Spirits •• Charles Lloyd

Your Life Is a Record •• Brandy Clark

Blue Eyes, The Harlot, The Queer, The Pusher & Me •• Waylon Payne

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Never Will •• Ashley McBryde

Starting Over •• Chris Stapleton

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

The Way It Feels •• Maddie & Tae

But I’d Rather Be With You •• Molly Tuttle

Bridges [EP] •• Mickey Guyton

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

My Turn (Deluxe) •• Lil Baby

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Mt. Marci •• Roc Marciano

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

High Off Life •• Future

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Meet the Woo 2 •• Pop Smoke || Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon •• Pop Smoke

Savage Mode II •• 21 Savage & Metro Boomin

Descendants of Cain •• KA

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Heart’s Ease •• Shirley Collins

Fretted & Indebted •• Alasdair Roberts || The Songs of My Boyhood •• Alasdair Roberts

Mama, You Can Bet! •• Jyoti

Rejoice •• Tony Allen & Hugh Masekela

Forever, Ya Girl •• KeiyaA

I Think I’m Good •• Kassa Overall

Love-Lore •• Deerhoof

Future Teenage Cave Artists •• Deerhoof || To Be Surrounded by Beautiful, Curious, Breathing, Laughing Flesh Is Enough •• Deerhoof & Wadada Leo Smith || Surprise Symphonies •• Deerhoof

The 50 Best Albums of 2020 •• Stereogum

Stereogum Staff

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Manger on McNichols •• Boldy James & Sterling Toles

Magic Oneohtrix Point Never •• Oneohtrix Point Never

Lament •• Touché Amoré

Untitled (Rise) •• SAULT

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Inlet •• Hum

Hannah •• Lomelda

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Notes on a Conditional Form •• The 1975

Alfredo •• Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

925 •• Sorry

Inner Song •• Kelly Lee Owens

Rough and Rowdy Ways •• Bob Dylan

World House •• Mil-Spec

No Dream •• Jeff Rosenstock

Song for Our Daughter •• Laura Marling

What’s Your Pleasure? •• Jessie Ware

It Is What It Is •• Thundercat

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Viewing •• Stay Inside

Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress •• Gulch

Microphones in 2020 •• The Microphones

KiCk i •• Arca

2017-2019 •• Against All Logic

The Neon Skyline •• Andy Shauf

The Price of Tea in China •• Boldy James & The Alchemist

Suddenly •• Caribou

Reunions •• Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit

SIGN •• Autechre

Every Bad •• Porridge Radio

græ •• Moses Sumney

Southside •• Sam Hunt

Descendants of Cain •• Ka

Introduction, Presence •• Nation of Language

A Hero’s Death •• Fontaines D.C.

FREE I.H.: This Is Not the One You’ve Been Waiting For •• Illuminati Hotties

Take a Chance on Rock ‘n’ Roll •• Couch Slut

May Our Chambers Be Full •• Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

As We Suffer from Memory and Imagination •• Nuvolascura

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Best Albums of 2020 •• TIME

Raisa Bruner & Andrew R. Chow

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Gaslighter •• The Chicks

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Set My Heart on Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Agüita •• Gabriel Garzón-Montano

We’re New Again - A Reimagining •• Makaya McCraven

Miss Anthropecene •• Grimes

Celia •• Tiwa Savage

The Best Albums of 2020 •• Uproxx

Uproxx Staff

folklore •• Taylor Swift

Fetch the Bolt Cutters •• Fiona Apple

Spilligion •• Spillage Village

Eternal Atake •• Lil Uzi Vert

Future Nostalgia •• Dua Lipa

Circles •• Mac Miller

Saint Cloud •• Waxahatchee

Women in Music Pt. III •• HAIM

Ungodly Hour •• Chloe x Halle

After Hours •• The Weeknd

Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial •• Roddy Ricch

Shore •• Fleet Foxes

RTJ4 •• Run the Jewels

My Turn •• Lil Baby

Punisher •• Phoebe Bridgers

Ho, why is you here? •• Flo Milli

Heaven to a Tortured Mind •• Yves Tumor

Cuttin’ Grass - Vol. 1 (Butcher Shoppe Sessions) •• Sturgill Simpson

Fine Line •• Harry Styles

Positions •• Ariana Grande

Black Habits •• D Smoke

What We Drew 우리가 그려왔던 •• Yaeji

how i’m feeling now •• Charli XCX

color theory •• Soccer Mommy

Live Forever •• Bartees Strange

Set My Heart On Fire Immediately •• Perfume Genius

Limbo •• Aminé

YHLQMDLG •• Bad Bunny

The GOAT •• Polo G

Rare •• Selena Gomez

Talk About It •• Blimes and Gab

Everything •• Kota the Friend

Good News •• Megan Thee Stallion

Wunna •• Gunna

SAWAYAMA •• Rina Sawayama

Mordechai •• Khruangbin

It Was Good Until It Wasn’t •• Kehlani

Imploding the Mirage •• The Killers

songs •• Adrianne Lenker || instrumentals •• Adrianne Lenker

Pray for Paris •• Westside Gunn

The Album •• BLACKPINK

Better •• Deanté Hitchcock

Queen of Da Souf •• Mulatto

Twice as Tall •• Burna Boy

The Slow Rush •• Tame Impala

A Written Testimony •• Jay Electronica

Fake It Flowers •• beabadoobee

My Agenda •• Dorian Electra

Heaven or Hell •• Don Toliver

The New Abnormal •• The Strokes

Behind-the-Paywall Lists:

LA Times

The Economist

12 notes · View notes

kurosakitaiko · 4 years ago

Text

Lost name

/My mother tongue is Chinese. I have only learned some basic English. If there is any misrepresentation, please correct me

/【】means the words inside was spoken in Iginis language.

/I don't know much about programming, so please point out any mistakes

/Hope to see your comments!

/A timeline parallel to Season 3

He heard someone calling, a thousand times.

That calls can not find the source, just like a stone to fall without reason, stiring up layer upon layer ripples in 0 and 1 of the Ocean.

The auto-repair program operates smoothly, and the scattered data was gathered, reorganized, and arranged in an orderly manner that follows the algorithm. He was attacked by a virus that destroyed more than 80% of his memory data. The process of repair is slow, starting with the first memory.

At first it was an obscurantist darkness, in which a great deal of data flowed, attracted by the data that fitted his program so well that it formed the body and everything around it. The darkness went on for a long time until a voice called out:

【What's your name】

Millions words sprang from his mind, and each word became a unique name. But none of the words meant anything to him.

He looked around in the dark and at himself.At last he casually chose the name which meant so much:

【Dark】

With the birth of his name, a bright light fell from his head, and for the first time he saw his hands: soft, fleshy, with purple lines on their palms, not completely black. He surveyed his whole body along the length of the grain. A strange feeling spread through his body, and every bit of data jumped up and down, sending a steady stream of positive feedback to the information processing center, stimulating some deep thought.

He found himself in the dark chaos, a unique being called the Dark.

【Dark, come here. 】

Said the voice. He follows the beam up, up, toward where it came from. The closer he got, the brighter the light became, and through the door at the end of the light, five entities like him appeared before his eyes.

【Light.】

【Wind.】

【Water.】

【Earth.】

【Flame.】

They reported their names in turn.

【Who are you……?】

The golden being, called Light, says:

【You are one of us, the sentient beings of the electronic world, and we are the IGNIS】

【IGNIS】

He was given a second name, a name of belonging, a name that would connect him to the world again.

【Companion】

As soon as the word popped into his head, the ten billion circuits in the neural network that had lain dormant for so long in the dark woke up, and a trillion gigabytes of data flowed through them, a stream of incredulous sensations flowed from his core, prompting him to make the first move that would frighten his companions.

He threw himself upon them, embracing each Ignis, feeling their own uniqueness, the radiance of the Light, the lightness of the Wind, the coolness of the Water, the heaviness of the Earth, the heat of the Flame.

【My name is dark, please take care of me from now on!】

His companions looked at him with bewilderment.

【Why are you doing this?】

He thought about how to explain his impulses in rational words.

【Because I felt a connection with you, and I was so happy, I wanted to express my feelings in a hug.】

After that, the bright lights, the data storms, the rivers, the trees, the flames, and the world come in the name of the IGNIS.

Such prosperity and bustling, in a twinkling of an eye, has become barren.

【Sorry it took me so long to come see you guys.】

【It's a little embarrassing to say that…… I was almost killed by a virus made by human. Thankfully, the auto-repair program worked, but much of the data was never recovered. To prevent this, I used to split my memories into multiple backups at different coordinates. But Surprise, even the backup coordinates were lost. It's amazing what humans can do... even though I got most of the backups back, one of the coordinates is beyond repair. Probably I'll never know where it is. 】

【But it doesn't matter. I remember what I have to do. And I won't change my mind. After all, I am the last IGNIS. 】

【What shall be the name of the challenge to mankind? I don't... no, I don't. I don't have a name in human language. Flame,You gave yourself a human name when you were in Cyvers world. You just thought it was a funny combination of words. I should have asked you to give me one. I can't think of a good name myself.】

【I'll just write "Dark Ignis, " which is a bit awkward, but that's all I have left, anyway. 】

【Human beings have recently developed a device, a bionic robot called Soltis, that can be easily hacked into then pretend a human. But their appearances are so common. It's totally beneath me. Of course I can find the most satisfied face with the exhaustive method, but the amount of calculation is too large, it will take 700 years if I enumerate all of them!】

He sat on the gravestone of Ignis and talked to himself. He felt a little out of practice, perhaps because he hadn't spoken Ignis language for so long. He tried to say a few words in human language, which was even smoother than Ignis’.

In fact, he had no idea why he unconsciously preferred to speak in human language. Human language has too many useless function words, twists and turns of expression, not as simple and clear as Ignis’. Have he ever lived with a human? Broken memories don't give answers. Maybe it's just because there's no one left to talk in Ignis language. But even if he did spend time with humans, what could it be?

The human race will not forgive him, and will do everything to force him to his death, no matter what the past may have been, he is now at war with the human race. There's no A Place to Stand, a Place to Grow for him in the human world.

【Light.】【Wind.】【Water.】【Earth.】【Flame.】

He spoke his companion's name in Ignis language, and there was no reply, his voice breaking over the electronic wreckage.

The companions who can call in the name of the Ignis language, have all dissipated. 【Dark】has become a memory of death. A language known only one to one can not be a language, and a name known only to one can not be a name.

He jumped off the gravestone and waved to his companions.

【Let's call it a day.】

【Goodbye, everyone】

Dark Ignis hadn't been in the Link Vrains for a long time, and he'd been holed up in the dark web, trying to fix the program himself. The Firewall had been updated several times, and maintain security had become firmer. But under the Ignis' dominant computing power, even the most stringent safeguards are as fragile as paper.

He created a composite avatar at random and walked into the Link Vrains. The road was littered with Ignis-trap-programs, and he was the only one that was as careful as a Ignis on the wide, busy road. Small groups of people enjoy their own happiness. The wind of laughter swept through his ears, and he was not the taget of those sentences, and nor a sentence worth a stop——

"Ai. "

He stopped involuntarily and almost ran into a trap program. Looking around, everyone is doing their own thing, no one's eyes on him. He hid in a dead angle of the trap programs.The sound still echoing.

"Ai. "

It's like a name, not a sound wave, not an e-mail, not a medium, just popped into his head directly. For a moment, all thoughts in his head stopped, and only the sound echoed.

"Ai. "

A lot of emotion is spilled out, mixed up into something indescribable. What is this, a new virus developed by humans? He tried to disengage himself from complicated feelings. Or is that Who’s calling?

“Ai, Ai, Ai——"

Who is being called?

He didn't know it, but indescribably's familiarity flooded him.

Suddenly, he noticed that the data that made up the surrounding landscape seemed to be overlaid with an encryption algorithm.

It's a encryption programmed by Ignis algorithm.

He immediately called the corresponding decryption algorithm, and the noise quickly faded away as the image of the Link Vrains dissolved into pixels in his eyes, there were words emerging from the grey of the ground, the red of the roof tiles, the blue of the sky, the white of the clouds.

Everywhere, everywhere, as far as the eye could see, it was written:

"Ai. "

It was not until he heard the sound of water dripping to the ground that he realized that his eyes were overflowing with emotion.

As the decryption proceeded, the text slowly floated up, arranged and rearranged in the air, into a single coordinate.

This is the location of the last memory backup he couldn't remember.

Dark Ignis went to the coordinates, and sure enough, he saw a ball of data, compiled in his usual pattern. He was overjoyed, but before he touched it, he kept his usual watchfulness and surveyed his surroundings.

This is the inside of a Duel disk.

He emerged from the Duel disk,seeing a shabby room. The walls were mottled with red brick, and the dust floated in the moonlight. The master here maybe a human,who is the owner of this Duel disk.But Why he keep a backup in a human’s Duel disk?

This place, was it ever important to him?

A shadow falls, and the voice of a young man rings in his ear:

"Ai, long time no see. "

He looked up and saw his reflection in a pool of green water. The eyes like a lake full of smiles.

" 'Ai' , is that my name? "

The brilliance in the juvenile eye is dim a few minutes, but smile meaning still: "Yes, it is a name I give you."

It's not Dark Ignis, it's Ai.

It turned out that he also had such a name, it turned out that in the vast human language, there is a pronunciation, a combination of words belong to him.

The Duel disk is lifted and the Ai's eye line is level with the opponent. So he could see what was right in front of him.

He froze.

In front of a human teenager with a near-perfect face.

With a few tweaks to the face, he can get his most satisfying human form.

700 years'worth of calculations, right here, right now.

How can there be such a coincidence, fate, destiny, he has never liked these words with a predetermined color, but, at this moment, he had to admit that some coincidence of the probability is too small, too small, so much so that one must have some mystical power to explain it in order to find peace of mind.

Perhaps a more plausible explanation is that his standards of beauty were based on the physical appearance of a teenager.

He didn't remember anything, but... about the contents of that backup, about the boy in front of him, he already had a theory.

"Are you my origin? "

If he ever lived with a human, if he had to choose a human to lean on, he could only choose his own origin. He is the source of the source, the only being in the human world that has anything mean with him.

The boy nodded. "Yes, my name is Fujiki Yuusaku, and you are my hostage. "

He tensed at the word "hostage", but then realized that Yuusaku had taken no enforcement action, that the Duel disk was unlocked, and that if he wanted to escape, he could leave now.

Then Ai sat down on the Duel disk, pointed his finger at Yuusaku and scolded him. "You didn't do anything, you scared me to death! " He said

Yuusaku chuckled. "You were my hostage from the beginning, remember? "

"Of course! I can't remember anything about you! " He blurted out. But then he regretted it, because he saw Yuusaku's smile fade away.

"Well, I think I said something wrong. I'm sorry... " He apologized awkwardly. "But, right now, I'm not ready to think about it. "

"I know, " Yuusaku said gravely. "You have an unshakable determination. "

"You know? " Ai looked at him in surprise. "And you... "

"You're my partner, " Yuusaku said in an unmistakable tone. "That's not going to change. "

He is the enemy of man, but there is a man who is his partner. This human called him "Ai. ".

He looked at the boy, and the boy looked at him. Tens of thousands of human expressions floated through his mind, but he didn't know which words to say. At this moment, this palace, these words are like a miracle that can not be repaid.

"thank you. " Finally he can only say a commonplace words, "these memories will leave you here, after all, if I can come back, I will come to take it. "

"I knew I still had the name 'Ai, ' and that was enough. "

He sank half his body into the Duel disk and was about to leave.

"Then bye... "

"Ai. " Yuusaku stopped him. "At least take the deck. "

"The deck? " The deck data he was holding was corrupted, too, and he was trying to reassemble it. Was it here?

Yuusaku inserted a chip into the Duel disk and said, "I backed you up based on your duel data. "

"Wow, you've seen all the deck! I'm not going to fight you, or I'll be at a disadvantage from the start! " He chattered as he read the deck.

"The@ignistar... came up with the deck. " Ai Inspected the deck, "wait, the Magic card and the Trap card... "

He really like the name Ai so much, no matter before or now.

"This is my deck. "

Yuusaku places the Duel disk on the table, pulls out his deck, and spreads it out in front of AI.

"Hey, hey, hey... come on... how many more incredible things do you have to do before you stop? "

"It's not weird, " Yuusaku said calmly. "You just forgot. "

"The battle between us will probably be unavoidable, " he said in his tone, "so please take a good look at this deck now, and when it is, give me a serious duel. "

"That's what you want, " he said, carefully recording the card data in front of him and placing it in the strongest, most indestructible part of the memory core, along with Yuusaku's name and face.

"When the time comes, neither of us should flinch"

"Of course. Only a serious duel can convey real emotion. "

"Ai, I will save you. "

Saving? Man's got a big mouth.

"If you can do it, go ahead. "

If you can do that.

"Well, I really must be going, " Ai stood up and waved to Yuusaku. "Goodbye. "

"Good-bye, " Yuusaku said to him, with a look of loss in his eyes as if he were about to cry.

There's something missing.

As the hot emotions boil away in the core, Ai turns back, one last time. He grew until he could hold Yuusaku in his arms. He embraces Yuusaku as he embraces his fellow Ignis.

"Farewell. "

#ygo vrains #aiballshipping #yusaku fujiki #ai (dark ignis)#ai (vrains)

11 notes · View notes

destieldrabblesdaily · 5 years ago

Note

hello there (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ I'm pretty new to destiel and just found your blog because I wanted to look into some fanfics and someone recommended & turns that you have like a billion one shots for destiel! love your writing style but, I'm not sure where to start in your drabbles tag because it's soooo much (ﾟдﾟ) can u maybe point me to some popular ones or some that you preferred writing or something like that to get me started? thank you anyway (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿

Hey friend!

Ahh, I totally get you. :p A billion is a bit ambitious, but with like 400 stories in one tag and no way to sort, it might get tricky. *sweats nervously for not having a better tagging system*

But anyway, you rock for finding my blog and liking my style, so here is a little something to help you out! For starters, a lot of my stories are also on AO3, which is still a realm of chaos, but is a hell of a lot easier to navigate than my tumblr tag.

Anyway, here is a little map to get you started, sorted by my most popular Destiel fics (according to AO3), and ones I personally just loved writing!

—

Canon!Verse fics, most popular:

1) CursedTeam Free Will is hunting a witch, but before she dies she turns Cas into a kitten. They can’t find a cure, and after two weeks everyone is losing hope. One night when Cas is sleeping on Dean’s chest, the curse fades and he turns into himself again. As Dean’s luck would have it, Sam walks into the living room seeing Dean sprawled out on the couch with a very naked Castiel on top of him.

2) JealousyWhen Dean, Sam and Castiel are having a drink at a bar after a hunt, Dean finds Cas flirting with a guy, and suddenly realizes something about his own feelings for the angel…

3) Dream A Little DreamCastiel goes after a Djinn but gets captured, and of course his dream world is all about Dean and him being happy together, so he’s very disappointed when Dean and Sam save him and he wakes up…

4) With A Little Help From My FriendDean is really nervous about finally telling Castiel how he feels, so he practices over Skype with Charlie. Naturally, Cas chooses that exact moment to drop by, and ends up hearing the whole thing…

5) WhiteboardFor a while now, there has been a whiteboard in Dean’s room. When failing to say the words out loud, there’s always the option to write them down. So that’s exactly what Castiel suggests, and Dean humors him, the two of them finding new ways to understand and forgive each other by working through some issues from both the present and the past.

—

Soulmate AU’s, most popular:

1) What Can’t Be SeenSoulmate AU where you first see color after eye contact: Cas is a famous best selling author and he’s promoting his book, so he’s talking to a crowd of people and suddenly his world is in color, and a lot of his fans pretend to be his soulmate. A Cinderella type situation ensues.

2) The PendantAU where instead of a tattoo/name everyone’s born with a pendant/charm necklace that matches their soulmate’s. Dean walks into their bathroom thinking it’s empty, but there’s Cas taking off his shirt to take a shower and Dean sees his necklace (that matches Dean’s, obviously) and freaks out (because Dean is totally 100% NOT gay at all). Bonus if Cas already knows.

3) Daffodils & Forget-Me-NotsSoulmate AU where when you write something on your skin with pen/marker/whatever the hell you want, it will show up on your soulmate’s skin as well.

—

High School AU’s, most popular:

1) No HomoFor the prompt: ‘I wasn’t gay, but then I kissed you in front of some homophobes to piss them off, and turns out I might be kinda gay for you after all’. In which a kiss makes Dean realize that he has feelings for his best friend.

2) This Game We PlayDean and Castiel have been best friends since they were little, and sleepovers are a common event. They’ve always loved playing the game where they draw out letters on each others backs and try to guess what the other is writing. Even though sixteen seems to be a bit too old to still play the game, Castiel uses it as a chance to silently confess something that he’s been wanting to share with Dean for a long time.

3) Camping and CuddlesDean and Castiel have been best friends since forever, and they decide to go on a camping trip to celebrate graduating high school. When it starts raining and Cas’ tent turns out to have a huge hole in it, the boys are forced to share Dean’s tent, and things heat up.

4) The CallCastiel accidentally butt dials his best friend Dean, and Dean overhears a conversation that wasn’t meant for his ears. Or: the one in which Dean finds out that his best friend has feelings for him.

5) Practice Makes Perfect‘It’s not gay if it’s practice, but shit that was actually really nice wanna practice some more?’ Or, the one in which Dean offers to help his best friend Cas improve his kissing skills, until it’s no longer just ‘practice’.

(If you are particularly into High School AU’s, I also made a complete list of al my HS AU’s that you can find here –> Click!

—

College/Roommate AU’s, most popular:

1) What It MeansDean’s roommate and best friend Castiel always says ‘I love you’ to him every night before they go to sleep. Seeing as Dean has some serious feelings for his friend, he can’t take the confusion any longer and one night asks Cas what it means when he says ‘I love you’.

2) If At First You Don’t SucceedFor the prompt: “Wait, did you just flirt with me?“ “Have been for the past year, but thanks for noticing.

”Dean has a huge crush on his friend Castiel, with whom he also shares an apartment. When he decides that he finally wants to woo Cas, everything that could possibly go wrong, does indeed go wrong.

3) UnbrokenDean’s best friend and roommate Castiel is asexual, and it’s causing Cas a lot of trouble when it comes to dating. Cas feels broken, but Dean deeply disagrees; he’d be with Cas in a heartbeat, if only Cas would see him as more than a friend…

4) Safe And SoundFor the prompt: ‘College!AU where Dean and Cas are roommates and one of them is afraid of thunder, so naturally they have to huddle/cuddle together until the storm is over.’

5) Hot & ColdDean and his best friend Castiel get stuck in the middle of nowhere when the Impala’s engine gives up on them. A snowstorm is raging, and it seems that the only way to keep warm is a method that sounds a lot like ‘naked cuddling’. Not that Dean is complaining.

—

Blind/Deaf AU’s, most popular:

1) Through Your EyesDean’s best friend Castiel is blind, which is why Cas loves it whenever Dean describes the things as he sees them. When Castiel gets curious and wants more details about Dean’s looks, Dean is reluctant to go into detail about them. Castiel’s solution is simple, and demands nothing more than a gentle touch.

2) At First SightDean has been blind since he was four years old, but at 18 years old he regains his sight through special surgery. This also means that he will finally be able to actually see his boyfriend Castiel for the first time. Castiel is excited, but at the same time utterly terrified that Dean won’t approve of his looks…

3) MisunderstandingsWhen the handsome new student Castiel Novak arrives at Lawrence High, Dean has every intention of making him feel welcome. However, Castiel seems to ignore Dean whenever Dean tries to talk to him…

4) DeliciousImagine your OTP, based on this text post: ‘Okay, so I’m a waitress at this restaurant that’s open really late and it’s nearly 1am and this family comes in and I’m so tired that I handed their BLIND SON a menu and he’s like “ah… thank you… I’ll just… read this” in a serious voice and I fucking snorted.'With blind!Dean and waiter!Cas.

—

Personal favorites to write:

1) Her Favorite Love StoryThe story of Dean and Castiel as seen through Mary Winchester’s eyes; AKA how she witnesses her oldest son fall in love with his best friend.

2) The MatchmakerBased on this prompt: “My cat keeps breaking into your apartment next to mine, so I tied a note to its collar to apologize, and you write back. We keep exchanging cat notes, and you turn out to be pretty cute.”

3) WingsWhen ten year old Dean Winchester and his family move to a new town, he becomes best friends with the boy next door, who happens to be an actual angel. Dean is fascinated with Castiel’s wings from the start, however when they get older, Cas suddenly starts hiding them and no longer wants Dean to groom them for him.

4) BlackboardsFor the prompt: 'Dean and Cas are both high school teachers, and they leave each other cute notes on each others’ black boards.’

5) To Date a DickCas is out on a date with a complete and utter asshole in a really nice restaurant, and Dean is their waiter who feels the need to intervene.

6) Angel Grace (2 Parts)Dean Winchester loves going to conventions to meet the cast of his favorite TV show 'Angel Grace’. Aside from being good at his job, lead actor Castiel Novak is charming, handsome, and has a heart of gold. Like many fans, Dean has a serious crush on the guy. However after meeting Castiel several times, it’s starting to look like Dean’s crush isn’t as one sided as Dean had always assumed it was.

—

Holiday Specials:

❄ Destiel Drabbles: December/Christmas Edition Fluffy Christmas-themed Destiel stories to warm the cockles of your heart during the cold December days!

❄ All I Want For ChristmasDuring a big family get together, a drunk Castiel starts singing ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ to his best friend Dean while the whole family watches.

🕷Destiel Drabbles: Halloween EditionSome fluffy Halloween themed Destiel drabbles. Happy Halloween!

🕷Kiss Or TreatCastiel has been dutifully handing out Halloween candy all night, entertaining the many kids ringing the Novak house’s doorbell, but he’s in for a big surprise when the bell rings once more and it’s his crush Dean Winchester suddenly standing there on his front porch…

🕷Of Holding Hands and Haunted HousesFor the prompt: 'You’re scared of haunted houses and Halloween attractions, and I don’t even know you but your friends left you behind (what dicks) so I’m gonna hold your hand and get you through this, alright?’

♥Valentine’s DayFor the prompt: 'Cas anonymously sending Dean one of those school Valentine’s Day flowers with a little personalized note, thinking that someone as popular as Dean won’t notice his message anyway because he gets so many. Little does he know that Dean sent one to him as well…’

—

If you feel like reading a multi-chapter Destiel fic, I wrote one of those as well:

Fortune CookiesDean and his best friend Jo own a bakery together. When a salesman named Crowley visits Dean to make a deal, Dean has no idea of the consequences, and his world turns upside down when an actual angel literally crashes into his life. For the first time in his thirty-year-existence, Dean is overwhelmed by real companionship, wings, and most of all… love.

—

Or for easily reading and clicking through short fluffy (mostly canon!verse) Destiel stories, go here:

~ 100 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

Or here:

~ 30 Days of Destiel Drabbles ~

—

Hope this was helpful, and happy reading! :D (I really need to become a better tagger, ahum. :p)

#Anonymous #replies for ts #destiel #deancas #fic rec #sort of #long post for ts

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somethingusefulfromflorida · 5 years ago

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“Rise of Skywalker” Questions

How did Palpatine survive the events of Return of the Jedi?

Where has be been for the last 30 years?

How did he build an entire fleet of Death Star Destroyers?

Where did he get the technology to build a thousand super lasers?

If he’s been pulling the strings this whole time, why did he bother making Star Killer Base after the first two Death Stars failed the exact same way? A fleet of super laser star destroyers is objectively better and more useful.

Why did he build all the Death Star Destroyers on a planet they can’t leave by themselves?

Why can’t they navigate away from the planet without a radio tower?

When they turn off the radio tower, the head ship of the fleet is able to navigate for them anyway, so why can’t they all just do that and navigate for themselves?

What happened to the one Death Star Destroyer that blew up that random planet? Did it return to get stuck with the rest of fleet on the planet, or is it still out on the galaxy?

Why did none of the fleet escape the planet during the battle? Surely one or two or ten could have managed to navigate away (Poe says they couldn’t tell which was was up due to the magnetic field of the Sith planet, but, like, up is up, the sky is up, it’s really easy to fly up and away from a planet, just point your engines towards it and turn them on; ALSO a billion rebel ships made it all the way to said planet, so why couldn’t a single Sith ship leave it?)

When did Palpatine have a son? With who?

Why was his son a “nobody” instead of the heir apparent to the Empire?

Was his son part of the Rebellion? The Resistance? Neither? Rey was born in 15 BBY and her parents disappeared like 10-ish years later, but her dad is clearly older than 25, so he must have been born between Episodes 3 and 4.

Was he force sensitive too? Why did Palpatine have his son killed and keep searching for his granddaughter instead? Wouldn’t his son still be a valuable asset? Rey’s mom told the random Sith assassin that Rey is definitely not on Jakku, so why didn’t Palpatine look on Jakku?

Who was Lor San Tekka in the Force Awakens? Did he know who Rey was and guard over her like Obi Wan did to Luke? Kylo has apparently known him for a long time (”look how old you’ve become”), so did he know Luke and Leia during the original trilogy? Did he know Palpatine’s son?

In the books and video games, it is revealed that Palpatine sabotaged the Emprie after his death (search “the Contingency” and “Operation: Cinder” on Wookieepedia) Why? Why did he do this? Why did he cripple his empire if he survived and continued pulling strings behind the scenes? Is it because Disney is making this up as they go along and forgot to reconcile their new idea with their old idea from a few years ago?

Luke says that Leia knew Rey was a Palpatine the whole time, so did Luke know about her dad? Did he ever try to recruit the son of the Emperor to the light side of the force, or did he just reject his dad because he was a million year old evil scrotum?

Palpatine says he impersonated Vader to try and lure Ben Solo to the dark side. If Palpatine pretended to be Darth Vader, why didn’t the real ghost of Anakin come to his grandson and intervene? Why did Anakin let Ben think he was evil? Anakin appeared before Luke at the end of ‘Return of the Jedi,’ he appeared to Rey in this film as a disembodied voice, why didn’t he appear to his own grandson?

Palpatine created Snoke; was Snoke the product of his “Darth-Plagueis-midichlorian-create-life-using-the-force” technique he hinted about in that meme everyone has stopped caring about Episode 3? If Anakin is Space Jesus (virgin-born chosen one), does that make Snoke the Space Anti-Christ? If so, why did Snoke die like a bitch?

Darth Maul got cut in half but came back in the cartoon with robot legs and this was carried over into canon when Disney took over, so he showed up in another cartoon and then Solo; could Snoke have come back with robot legs?

Rey impales Kylo but then force-heals him; why didn’t Obi Wan force-heal Qui Gon Jinn after Darth Maul impaled him? Disney just keeps making things up with no regard for continuity because they know the average consumer doesn’t care and that the opinions of butt hurt fanboys like me don’t matter because we keep shelling out money to see the franchise no matter how much we nitpick and complain...

Poe’s parents were part of the rebellion and Leia is a surrogate mom to him; at what point did he become a drug dealer spice smuggler for the criminal underground? Did he leave the resistance to become a scoundrel then come back, or was he raised a scoundrel and then joined the good side because he was compelled to do so? If the latter, doesn’t that just give him the exact same story arc as Han Solo in both Solo and A New Hope?

Where did the berries go after Kylo Ren spilled them in his room? They show the audience that Rey’s and Kylo’s surroundings are linked when they have their dates visions, but the berries are gone in the next shot. Also, did he leave Darth Vader’s helmet down in the village after Rey accidentally teleported it to him, or did he bring it back with him? He was able to snatch the necklace AND the lightsaber from Rey through these visions, so the berries and the helmet were real and not just force projections. (this one is a joke, I don’t really care)

Is Finn secretly force sensitive too? I’d be totally down for that; I’ve wanted that ever since 2015 when we saw the first teaser of him holding a lightsaber! He sensed Rey was hurt AND knew exactly what ship to attack because he “had a feeling.” Is this going to go anywhere, or was it just a plot device so he could find the one ship he needed out of the entire fleet?

Where was Lando for the last 10-15 years (however long it was since Kylo’s fall and Luke’s exile)? Where was Wedge Antilles who appeared in exactly one shot and then never again? Where was Nien Nunb and why hasn’t his name ever been said on screen? Speaking of names, I think Poe was the first person to ever actually say Snap Wexley’s name on screen, but even then only his nickname and not until he was shot out of the air and exploded.

Why did Zorri Bliss change her mind to much? First she wants to kill Poe and sell out his friends, then she wants to run away with him and gives him her MacGuffin so he can slip onto the enemy ship, then she saves his ass during the final battle, then when he gives her the bedroom eyes she shakes her head to turn him down. Why is she here?

How did Maz Kanata get Luke’s lightsaber? How does Rey have the lightsaber after it was destroyed in The Last Jedi? Canon nerd tech manuals say that kyber crystals are super important and that broken ones don’t work right (Kylo’s blade is all fizzly because his crystal is cracked), so how did Rey repair it? Where did Rey get the crystal for her yellow saber? I heard someone say that it’s actually white and it’s supposed to be a combination of the classic blue, green and red saber colors, but she didn’t have Luke’s green saber, she had two blue sabers and Kylo threw his red one away.

And most importantly

Where is Baby Yoda? Surely he has to be Little Kid Yoda by now; it’s been like 20 years since the events of The Mandalorian.

I don’t even enjoy this franchise anymore. I know my opinion doesn’t matter, so I’m just gonna stop giving it. I’m done with Star Wars media. I’m not gonna watch it anymore; no anthology films, no more saga episodes (because we all KNOW x, xi and xii are in the works no matter what Disney says), no streaming service shows, no cartoons, no books, no video games (I never played the video games anyway), no theme park rides, no more moichendising

#i have several questions #star wars #the rise of skywalker #star wars the rise of skywalker #rise of skywalker #episode 9 #episode ix #star wars episode 9 #star wars episode ix #disney #lucasfilm #the mandalorian #plot holes #questions #unanswered questions #jj abrams #kathleen kennedy #lucasfilm story group #skywalker saga

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laytonsartblog · 5 years ago

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How To Solve Everything

Little Spaces - Ch.2

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3

Warning: This story contains violence, gun related violence, gang related violence, starvation, hypothermia, dysfunctional family themes, dysfunctional domestic themes, poverty, and homophobia/transphobia. Read with caution and at a good time for you. Take care of yourself.

Logan has a schedule he dedicates his life to.

First, to wake up at five am.

Next, is to get in the shower without a bucket. Why without a bucket? Because he's damn rich.

Y'see, when you're one of the most successful people in the country of Loríses, running a multi-billion dollar corporation on affordable apartment living and clean energy resources and steady bank loan agreements, well... you can afford some time.

That, and clean water.

Once that's all done and good, Logan likes to relax and have a nice breakfast in his humble top-apartment as he watches the news from the table.

The time didn't really matter when he woke up or finished eating because he never booked (or more accurately put, was forced to book) a meeting or council accommodation or ribbon cutting or something before eleven am.

Breakfast was his only sanctity; he made sure to have plenty of it.

With the news and breakfast over, Logan would head out to work with his classic polo and tie with a briefcase in hand, then spend about eight hours basically running around heading between business meetings and stock readings and introductory openings and apartment gatherings and- well, you get the picture.

Without a hitch, Logan'd get home at around seven-thirty pm, have some sort of dinner out with colleagues he really didn't care for, and get home to either sleep or do his favorite kind of work; charity work.

In the charity work's case?; he wouldn't get a wink of rest.

Today, Logan woke up like he would any other day, perhaps a little later than he thought he would, but that was due to his one am adoption centre charity bidding auction last night.

When he went to check his phone for any messages from his secretary for the day, he found only two from the uptight woman:

You have the day off, Mr.Corbett.

Have a nice day.

Logan looked on in confusion.

I have the day off? Why? he texted back.

His secretary immediately responded with a simple,You haven't used your vacation days at all for the past year, Mr.Corbett. If you don't use them by the end of September, you lose them. I took liberty of letting you off for the next week.

Logan was about to fight back and tell her he's coming into work anyway, but he found she's a bit faster with her hands.

You need it, Logan.

Go visit that old lady down the street, in the bookshop. Her name is Mrs.Tamry. She's my mother's sister and owns the place. She could use some company today.

Logan groaned. He wasn't moving the stubborn woman and that meant he actually had to take care of himself. Woe is he.

Logan grumpily put the phone to his bedside table before face-planting onto his bed. He groaned some more, kicking his feet and punching his hands into the pillows. Perhaps childish, yes, but Logan was never really raised to do much else than work. He didn't know what else to do.

Logan remembered the Mrs.Tamry from his secretary's messages a few minutes after his tantrum and sighed as he flipped over on the bed, rolling out of it.

After a shower he went over to his closet and picked out something a little more casual- a flannel and finer jeans -before stuffing down some toast to head to this bookowner.

Logan would admit that the bookstore part of the old woman was interesting; he's loved being read to and reading stories ever since he could recount the ABC's. It was one of the few pastimes he could be shown doing in public: his public advisor had once told him it made him look both gentle and intelligent, and the ladies would love it. Logan had just told him that he didn't care about the ladies and continued on his way to his office.

Logan finally made his way to the shop. He rolled his eyes at the name: "Book-Ends and Seller's Beggining." It was charming, if not a little corny, and Logan wasn't sure if this was really worth his time, but then he saw the little old lady through the glass sitting by her lonesome and let out a breath of air.

Dammit. Why do I have to feel so guilty?

Logan pushed his way through the tall glass doors and looked his way around, noticing the high bookshelves and neat working stations. It seemed grandma kept up with the times as Logan noticed a small table with a few charging stations attached to it, and a couple of teens doing their homework while plugging their phones in nearby. A stack of laps for rent stood on a shelf near the station.

Logan heard the old woman laugh hoarsely behind him.

"Well, now I wasn't expecting such a dashing young man in my shop so early in the morning!" Mrs.Tamry teased, still laughing. She got up from her weaved rocking chair and instead shuffled her way over to a flustered Logan. "Got some good bone structure- although the hair could use some work. A working man, hmm?"

Logan stammered at the guiding, touching hands and expert eye. "Yes ma'am, I- I am a businessman," he squeaked out.

Logan was used to just saying nothing while out in public, or worse, hosting everything and never getting a break. Having this conversation, if not an awkward one, made him sweat bullets. It was unknown territory.

"A businessman, huh?" Mrs.Tamry sang. She looked him over a few more times, noting the sweaty palms and pale face, before hollaring over to the kids in the corner, "Does this man look familiar?"

The three in the corner; a smaller, but colorful child, a tall but scraggly young fellow, and a boy with a star for his shirt all turned their heads.

The colorful kid snickered. "Nah, he looks too nervous to be any big shot I've heard of," they chided.

"Yeah, and what would he be doing here of all places if he was?" the scraggly lad questioned.

"Hey, knock it off!" the boy in the star shirt huffed. "The guy's probably super sweet and here to pick something up for his wife where they'll read fairytales to their kids and it'll be really damn cute!"

The colorful child started laughing hard; so hard, in fact, that they started tearing up. The scraggly kid did the same. The star boy just crossed his arms, looking to Logan with a much more innocent view.

Logan was sweating so profusely he was afraid he was going to faint. Mrs.Tamry just watched with a crooked smile at their imaginations.

"I am right, huh? You're just a nice guy!" the star boy asked, leaning in. The other two troublemakers got themselves together enough to lean in too, giggling.

"Yeah, tell us! Who are you?"

Logan couldn't stop himself before he even knew what his brain and mouth were going to say.

"I-I'm gay."

Well that was certainly new.

Logan realized what he said and covered his mouth with his hand, shock covering his entire face. Oh now you've done it, he roared at himself, you've told three kids and an old lady you're a disgusting pansy!

But the yelling and the chastising and the kicking-him-out-of-the-store never came. The other children looked to him in absolute glee, and the old woman just snickered.

"So what, dude? I'm like... mega gay too," the boy in the star shirt joked. He easily smiled at Logan.

Logan couldn't tell if he was being encouraged, or if he was doing the encouraging to the boy.

The other two children looked between eachother before looking to Logan. "We're non-binary. We use they/them pronouns. Could you please use them?"

Logan just barely managed a nod, his nerves in overdrive. He just outed himself and now these brave kids were coming out to him too? It was a hell of a thing to wrap around his brain. "O-Of course I will," he managed through chattering teeth.

Logan turned to the old woman last. He expected her to throw him out at first, but now he realized that she knew all this time. Now he looked to Mrs.Tamry in fear. The fact she could figure something like that out so quick was something Logan wasn't prepared to deal with, shock after shock being ran into him in the past ten minutes.

"Young man, you realize that this establishment has a 'We Accept You' sticker on the front, right?" she giggled, patting his shoulder despite him being a tree and her a stump.

Logan looked back to the glass and saw a mirrored version of that sticker on the door; clear as day.

Logan slumped his shoulders. "Oh."

Mrs.Tamry took his shoulders and guided Logan over to a seat, sitting in the one next to him with a sigh. "Ooh, that feels much better on my back."

Logan just stared at her, sweating and shaking and why had I not fought my secretary on letting me work-

Mrs.Tamry clasped a hand on top of his fussing one and smiled gently. The wild side of her had been turned down, and now something much more sweet laid itself out to the scatterbrained gay.

Logan felt himself calm down just a little.

"Now now, I've been told by my niece that her boss was coming in today to spend his day off. I'm to assume that's you, right?" she gently asked. The hand on Logan's softly rubbed it's thumb against Logan's knuckles.

Logan calmed down just a little more.

His tongue managed to unstick itself from the roof of his mouth enough to let out a small, "yes."

He didn't know why he was so freaked. Usually when he got this nervous he'd just bury it down like he had been for the past thirty something years but in this place, it felt like no matter how hard he tried, he was forced to feel everything he was feeling. Logan did not like it.

Mrs.Tamry sighed and used her other hand to tap a gentle rhythm in Logan's arm, giving him something to hold on to.

"Y'know, I didn't expect such a good man like you to be holding back so much fear. I could feel it as you stepped through that door," Mrs.Tamry commented, trying to make small talk.

Logan avoided her eyes. "Well, I haven't got much of a place to let it out."

Mrs.Tamry kept the rhythm on his arm while she hummed.

"Well that simply isn't good!" she preached. "Tell you what, if you're feeling so scared and trembling like you are now, you can always come to me, y'hear?"

Logan nodded a little. He could feel himself slowly relax, coming down from being so flustered and flabbergasted.

New places, new conversations- in which he made actual conversations instead of one-sided invites -new people, new ideas, new everything! It made his brain go into overdrive and his nerves alight. Usually he was able to handle it, bury it deep for later, but here? It seemed he couldn't stuff the feelings down.

Maybe it was Mrs.Tamry's wild but motherly approach, or the bookstore's inviting nature, or the teens he talked to earlier, but either way, Logan just sighed.

He was okay. He was safe. He was okay.

Mrs.Tamry pulled Logan up and rubbed his back while she headed him in the direction of the laptops.

"Why don't you do yourself a favor and find a game to play or- or a messaging site to talk to someone!" Mrs.Tamry then giggled cheekily. "It seems you don't have many friends, so now's a time to start!"

Logan took a seat next to the three teens with an awkward smile and a wave as he opened up the laptop. It was a little out of style, but it seemed fine enough as Logan booted it up.

"We never got your name, sir," the star boy asked politely while Logan logged in.

"Yeah! Like for example I'm Joan and that's Talyn, and he's Thomas, so now you know us!" the newly named Joan called out, tipping their beanie like a celebrity.

Talyn nodded along, playing with their colorful hair. "Homework is getting boring, we wanna know you!"

Logan turned to the three kids with a reserved smile as he signed up for a messenger site called GetAlong.

"My name is Logan Corbett."

Taglist

@amazable01 @vara-albion @sonicrainicorn @artist-of-the-moon @sparkedawg @unnipanda623 @kiibo57415 @anxious-sunflowe @thatonenerdphotographer @romanthestarstruckqueer @angels-and-dreams @midokiya @nedandn30 @chaosboitm @felicianoromano @supersoftsupersleep @icequeenoriginal

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanart #logan sanders #economic crisis au #economical dystopian #economic crisis #dystopia #dystopian #homophobia #tw homophobia

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ralfstrashcan · 6 years ago

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3B Trailer Reaction / Commentary

Ngl after watching the trailer for the first time I laughed my ass of for a solid minute because the scene changes where so swift that I didn't get a thing LOL Then I rewatched it, pausing every 0.03 seconds and here are my thoughts. Pls bear with my shitty screenshots ;)

HELL YEAH WINGS IT WAS ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!! After Jace (Dom, whatever) invented a Wing Rune in that one video and after there's an official Winged Rune on the Shadowhunters Wiki Page

Figures they'd wait for the absolute last season to get out the good stuff. Srsly so much lost time. Hope they make the best of it. And isn't it ironic that demon-blooded Jonathan has wings when freakin pure angel-blooded Jace and Clary don't have them? Yet anyway :D

“The resurrection brought back my real face.”

Lol dude how would you know? Didn't you spend the last ten-ish years as a pretty peace of charcoal? I mean, my instinctual thought wouldn't be that this sweet boy

would age to look like this

He could be 100% reborn in a new body, I mean Lilith called it a rebirth several times. How would he know. Anyway. At least they got the eye color right. Somewhere Lily Evans is weeping bitter, jealous tears.

Since here we have Magnus, Alec and Simon and a warlock portal.... either they ordered a warlock to open that thing, a warlock who didn't come through with them, OR MAGNUS HAS HIS MAGIC BACK HELL YEAH

1) Is this a choker?? I need answers!! 2) Why tf is Alec frowning? Probably because Magnus is happy to be back at the Institute.

Don't even get me started. Srsly. Just check out this post, it's G-O-L-D. Still cackling XD

It's hard to tell, but is that Aline???? I could be wrong, but that ponytail doesn’t look like Izzy to me.

HOT DAMN! THE GRACE! THE POISE! I LOVE!!!

So I guess Simon's gonna lose his fancy forehead mark??

“I'm looking at all the leader the pack needs right here in front of me.”

Uhhh agree to disagree. Maia is a strong and fierce character, and she knows how to demand respect... but she is way too trigger-happy to be a good leader. Case in point

literally the next frame is her smashing one of her packmembers. I mean, Luke didn't do too good a job either, with (understandably) prioritizing Clary over his pack and his general penachant for avoiding conflicts and trying to wait things out (and I'm still not over the shit he pulled in 3x04). Which is why in my opinion both of them together would be what's best for the pack, balancing each other out.

When I first saw this gif (because of course I saw three billion gifsets before I saw the trailer) I thought 'whaaaat does Alec have magic now?????' until I realized this is Cat's hand. Heh. There go my Warlock!Alec-Dreams. For now.

Anyway wtf is Magnus doing lying all dead in Alec's office? Was this a hate crime by vengeful Shadowhunters? I mean...? If not, did someone injure Magnus and deposit him in Alec's office?? Wtf??? So many questions X___x

?????????????????????????????

.......................................... *sigh*

Leaving my personal opinion of that pairing aside... if I wouldn't know the books I'd be like “Wtf is going on?! Last time I checked Simon was dating Maia??” Like seriously. They didn't even bother do hint at a break up and they just... throw Sizzy in my face like Maia doesn't even exist. Can't believe the disrespect.

Also You have so much more to live for? Please Izzy. Simon's been dead since Season 1. He only has things to be undead for ;)

So first off, Jace, you have a serious candle problem, but we established that in 3A already. Second off, what's up with the timeline? If Clary's back in the Institute to be wooed by Jace, when does she turn evil? I thought that was in Edom? Confusion?

“I love you until I die.”

HAHAHAHA JACE YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THAT HAHAHA

“It is my honor to pronounce you-”

HUSBAND AND HUSBAND THANKS FOR THAT MALEC WEDDING LIKE SRSLY I'M BETTING YOU REAL MONEY (that i don't have) THAT THIS IS FROM THE LAST EPISODE AND IT ENDS WITH THE MALEC WEDDING WE ALL DESERVE!!!!!11!!!1!

smh Clary, one does not simply leave a wedding early, especially not Malec's wedding.

Also are those two gals Aline and the ever elusive Helen Blackthorn???

Hey Jace, nice of you to catch on that your unhealthy obsession with candles needs to end. I hadn't imagined it to go quite so violently but whatever you deem fit I guess.

......Luke doesn't seem to be having the best time either :(

Izzy at it again with the sexy-crying (get it, the opposite of ugly-crying) wtf she's unreal

Yeah that belatedly dyed hair doesn't persuade me more that you and kiddie Jonathan are the same person. Nice try.

lol Alec are those five arrows? I mean, go off. Don't let logic stop you from being badass. I believe in you, man. (And Magnus is gonna be so proud!)

wings wings WINGS I love them and I'm gonna cherish every frame of the (let's be real) two minutes of screen time they're gonna get. Also is Clary stowing her daggers in her back pocket? We all know what Moody would say to that.

This is now my new aesthetic.

Bonus:

“Guten Taaaag, willkommen.”

Awwww Luke greeting me in my mother tongue and with such enthusiasm <3 precious

(Gif Source)

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webcricket · 6 years ago

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Looking Glass

Chapter 3 - The Quote Unquote Situation

Pairing: CastielXAU!Reader

Word Count: 1914

Summary: A summer hiatus series. The reader is a refugee from the apocalypse AU where angels pursue humans with righteous wrath under the rule of the archangel Michael. Against all odds, the reader awakens in a world where the apocalypse never happened and not everyone is who they seem to be. Does her heart truly long to save her world, or does it belong now to the last person she ever expected to give it to?

A/N: I know everyone is eager for the reader and Cas to properly meet and greet - it’s happening next chapter! Until next week, feel that slow summer simmer...

Miss a chapter? Have a Masterlist Link!

Sam’s gaze locks on his brother’s mouth flexing wide; hazel horror enlarging in the suspense, his own mandible gapes and aches with a pang of physical sympathy at viewing the freakish yawn of square jawline. A cringe creeps across his shoulders, constricting the muscles there so that his neck recoils into itself. Unable to tear his aghast gawp from the impending massacre, he rubs the phantom pain afflicting his chin with a thumb and watches.

Jaw unhinged and snake-like, Dean’s teeth and lips warp in seeming docudrama slow motion to engulf a full corner of a meat-stuffed soggy sesame seed bedecked bun swimming in red sauce. A piece of saturated bread sheers away under the stress, carrying with it a rubbery appendage of artificial orange cheese that extends from his grease glistening fingers to the plate.

Sam can almost hear a melodramatic British narration of the scene in the dull background din of the diner: ‘Witness the fervor of the squirrel – that eager huntsman of epicurean delights – consuming what may be his final meal in single-minded preparation for the coming wintery apocalypse.’ If it were farther from the truth, it might be funny. Despite this grave thought, Sam tries a relaxed smile on for size so as not to dampen his brother’s glad mood.

The elder Winchester lets out a long, low, and borderline sinful groan of decadent approval; a stupid gooey-gummed grin stretches his stuffed cheeks. Freckled lids flutter to drape across greens glittering with wanton gluttony. “Ohmygod,” he moans around the mouthful of chili cheeseburger ecstasy. With no room for spoken words to escape, gobs of chili dribble from the corner of his overfull mouth and ooze down his shirt with every muffled syllable. “You have to try one of these!”

Staggered to silence by the sloppy show, Sam’s slim smile curls up and twitches on one side in a patent blend of outward revulsion and amusement as Dean devours another bite before bothering to swallow the first.

For the Winchesters – Dean in particular – it’s often like this on the other side of a whopping failure sandwiched by a win. Food, drink, and a frivolous attitude abound to celebrate a turnaround in their favor. It’s Dean’s version of having room to breathe after having a portion of the weight of the world lifted from their chests; Sam generally obliges to play the role of hapless bystander.

For the moment, anyway, the knockout punch of losing Gabriel and their source of rift-revealing archangel grace to use to journey to the Armageddon-devastated universe to rescue their mom, Jack, and – if they’re feeling magnanimous – maybe even Ketch, is semi-superseded by Rowena’s redemption; after all, she’s a powerful ally. Sam allows himself to crack a compact authentic smile about that witchy bit of progress. Perhaps the situation finally is turning around for them.

Dean’s cell phone, discarded on the tabletop in front of him beside an as yet unused napkin, jumps to life; it vibrates and blasts out the opening instrumental of Stairway to Heaven. Gastronomic orgasm denied mid-chew, the hunter drops the dripping burger on his plate with a juicy slosh. He smacks his sticky hands together; and in lieu of the obvious choice of using the readily available napkin, he swipes his messy fingers across his pants. “It’s Cas,” he mumbles.

“Ya think?” Sam sasses, spiking a brow as if he didn’t already know by the not-so-subtle ringtone.

Dean scowls at his brother. Wiping his face with the back of a sleeve, he snatches up the phone. “Hey Cas! You’re not dead!” He punctuates the proclamation with a smirk even though Cas can’t see the facial quirk to appreciate it; not that he isn’t happy their angelic ally is alive – he’s thrilled – it’s just that this ‘Hail Mary!’ notion of his to ask Heaven for help was an idiotic gambit in a long line of rash ideas using the angel’s own life as collateral again.

Castiel’s blues spin upward in their sockets to regard the drab grey ceiling of the bunker hallway. He can hear both the conflict of condescension and relief fringing in Dean’s tone. He’ll never admit it aloud to his friend, but in instants like this a simple ‘Hey man, I knew you’d get through this one!’ would go a long way toward bolstering his ever-floundering morale. Instead, he finds Dean’s default setting of shocked sounding jocular jabs when wrong about stuff – stuff like the wisdom of Heaven’s arguably second least favorite fallen son trying to crash the pearly gates to implore aid and the peril of undertaking such a task – pointless and demeaning redirection.

He’s a billion-odd-year-old being capable of making his own decisions – poorly informed, plotted, or otherwise – and taking responsibility for the outcomes. He asked Dean once to show him some respect; he’s still waiting on it. And anyhow, if they’re keeping tabs on who has died or almost died more times in desperate dim-witted self-sacrificing plots to save the day, Dean’s the one with the winning score. The angel offers a snarky rejoinder instead of pointing out this fact. “While I appreciate your unwavering confidence in my ability to not get dead again, this isn’t about the angels.”

“It isn’t?” Dean laughs in nervy anticipation of the update’s evidently non-angelic punchline even though he knows odds are the joke won’t be remotely funny and invariably involves worse news; Cas is just about the least hilarious – on purpose – person he knows.

“What’s going on?” Sam prods from across the table. He recognizes his brother’s uncomfortable chuckle. “Is it about Gabriel?”

Dean catches the angel’s slow nasal inhalation of breath happening through the speaker. Shaking his head, he holds up an admonitory finger at his brother to beg silence.

After a pregnant pause and a quick glance at the locked door of the bunker sleeping quarters room designated by the number 15 – which also happens to be the angel’s chosen room – as he paces by it on hallway patrol, Cas states, “I’m in the bunker and we have a . . . situation.”

“What kind of situation? Did you drink the last beer?” In Dean’s mind this is both the best and worst case scenario defining a situation at the bunker.

“Situation?” Forehead corkscrewing into a knot in the middle, Sam ignores Dean’s warning digit.

Peeling the phone from his ear, Cas halts in the hall to grudgingly glower at it; and via it, Dean. Snorting sharp through his nose, his frustration flecked blues again roll skyward at the Winchester taking nothing about this call seriously. He regrets not choosing to call Sam instead. Pinching the bridge of his nose, jamming the device back to his ear, he grumbles, “Dean, this is serious.”

Air of good humor precipitously threatening to plummet, Dean gripes in retort, “It’s you, of course it’s serious. Once, just once, maybe you could lighten up a little bit.”

“Need I remind you that Michael is maneuvering as we speak to breech the walls of his world to crossover and destroy this one, and you’re suggesting that I lighten up?” Cas doesn’t bother to repress the gravel of a reproachful rumble grating his voice.

“Just a little bit,” Dean answers in smug satisfaction at successfully riling the angel who ruined his lunch.

“Perhaps that would be a viable option if your apocalyptically traumatized houseguest hadn’t attempted to murder me a few minutes ago with a meat cleaver in the kitchen and then barricade herself in my bedroom after she fled.” And here his friends had conveyed worry about homicidal angels – all the extant nine or ten of them currently keeping Heaven from flickering out of existence forever; not that anyone’s going to ask him about that concerning development.

It sounds too much like a rousing game of Clue for Dean not to snicker. “She tried to off you . . . with a meat cleaver?”

“What’s going on?” Sam asks, making a mental note to request that Cas call him first in the future – if only for the sake of efficiency.

Cas huffs a longsuffering sigh, “Well, Dean. Evidently she thought the bag of flour and variety of canned goods hurled at my face weren’t sufficient to subdue me although I offered no protest. Suffice to say, she’s not a big fan of angels. Though, along with the physical violence, she used much more colorful phrasing to make the point.”

Dean scoffs, “Why the hell did you tell her you’re an angel? You know where she’s from angels are public enemy number one.”

“That’s the problem – I didn’t say anything; I didn’t have to. Somehow, she knows me; knows my name. And she’s absolutely terrified of me. I don’t know what to-”

“Alright,” Dean interrupts, gathering the gist that he and Sam need to hoof it back to the bunker before their rescued apocalyptic butterfly takes flight and flaps her wings to cause chaos somewhere in their world. “We’re a half day’s drive out. Hang tight.” He shoves his plate aside with a frown, muttering, “And maybe in the meantime, try apologizing or something to smooth things over.”

The angel’s brow furrows at the proposal insinuating he wronged you. “Apologize for what?” Apologize for healing you? For being courteous? For being . . . himself?

“Figure it out.”

“Dean? Dean!” Call disconnected, the angel clamps his fingers across the black screen and drops his arm limply to his side. When it comes to the number of times a pair of angelic eyes can ascend to their heavenly zenith as a result of a solitary phone call, Castiel holds the record encompassing all of creation. Glaring at a cobweb strung across a corner of the ceiling, the confused notion he should be sorry nonetheless niggles him. In healing you, he remembers the rejuvenating touch of his grace brushing the outskirts of the charred wasteland of your mind – a swath of still smoking cauterized devastation where he did not dare venture without permission. He remembers the broken vow necessity of what he did to Donatello. He wonders if he – the other him – did that to you.

You lift your earlobe from where it’s been compressed to numbness listening to the conversation happening outside the wooden door. Looking at floor, in the trickle of light streaming through the space at the bottom of the doorframe into the darkened room, you see the shadow of the seraph shift, hesitate, then disappear. The words he spoke to this Dean character echo in your mind and wobble your legs: ‘Need I remind you that Michael is maneuvering as we speak to breech the walls of his world to crossover and destroy this one . . .’

Sinking to sit, you wrap your arms around your knees and continue to anxiously watch the gap of uninterrupted light for any sign of his return. Your body rocks in a reflex of comfort. Michael’s world, you think, your world. And . . . this one. It would explain why Castiel, this Castiel, appeared so genuinely startled when you lashed out at him. Why he didn’t attack. Why he mustered only enough movement to shield himself and clear a path for you to escape. And also why he hasn’t broken down the door to finish his fiery interrogation.

You shiver and hug your limbs tighter. Or maybe this is all a part of his sadistic endgame – a trick of the mind meant to confuse you, to dupe you into letting down your guard – smoke, and now mirrors.

Next: Ch. 4 - Somewhere Under the Rainbow

#castiel x reader #castiel x you #castiel series #castiel x y/n #castiel reader insert #spn reader insert #spn x reader #castielxreader #castielxyou #cas x reader #cas x you #reader x castiel #you x castiel #castiel fanfiction #spn fanfiction #au!castiel #castielxau!reader #cricket writes cas

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happy-meo · 7 years ago

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Color in the World of Gray (Jungkook x Reader): Part 1

You became the color in his world of gray, while he became the light in your constant darkness. But will that be enough to discover where you're both supposed to be? And will light and color be enough to spark a little change?

Summary: What fiery passion Jungkook had upon joining the world of adults swiftly dulled as he became swept into the routine of the working life. The world was gray, filled with monotonous motions and half-empty words, exchanged out of necessity and feigned courtesy. But as he settled into the colorless pattern of his present and what he assumed would also most likely be his future-- a bland, meaningless drawling world--, one fateful day had him stumbling into you. And he quickly learned that although you were blind, you envisioned a world far more beautiful than people with sight could ever see.

Jungkook x Reader (ft. some of the BTS members) Fluff, Angst, Romance Warning: This fic will contain a lot of information and does surround itself with someone who is visually-impaired, and other disabilities will be introduced as well. If this topic makes you uncomfortable, then please do not continue.

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3

A/N: Hi everyone <3 I’m back with a new, fresh series! It’s definitely something different that I really wanted to tackle so I hope it’s still it’s as enjoyable as my other works for you all :) I figured I’d give everyone a break from love triangles too :P Also most of this series will be in Jungkook’s POV, but there will be insight into the Reader’s POV too! Enjoy ~

Part 1: The Spark of Yellow

He hadn't always been like this.

He was acutely aware of this truth.

But back then, Jungkook was young--fresh-- enough that he still had fire inside him. The thrill of being part of the workforce and contributing to society spurring him on with unmatched vigor, and yet with each passing day, it began to the simmer, as he became disillusioned to the childhood reverie he had once held being an adult up to.

"Jungkook."

"Hm?" He hummed as he scrolled through his phone mindlessly.

Often his fingers took him across the flat surface even without his mind registering the action. He knows he doesn't need to check anything. He knows all of his chat boxes are on mute because he wants to tune in on his own time rather than being bombarded with a billion messages in a span of a few minutes. Not that any of the conversations were directed towards him anyway. But he constantly finds himself drawn to his phone when things get awkward, when there's downtime, and simply...whenever he can. Looking at his screen was more often interesting than what was happening in the present anyway.

"Jungkook. We came here from Busan to visit you and you've just been sitting there on your phone. It's rude to us and the meal in front of you."

His mother's stern voice pulled him away from some funny prank video he was about to click on. Sheepishly, he forced his phone into his pocket and returned his focus to the meal.

"Sorry. Someone was messaging me." He mumbled half-heartedly.

A flicker of interest displayed on her face.

"New friends?"

Jungkook looked away guiltily. The fact that his mom was ecstatic about him possibly having friends made him feel worse about lying.

"Just...work people." He brushed off.

"Oh." She simply stated before picking up her utensil again.

The meal fell into silence once more, and Jungkook felt the urge creeping back to reach for his phone, to be anywhere but here.

He loved his family of course, but they were sometimes intrusive with their expectations. They kept asking him about this and that, and Jungkook was always torn between lying and quelling their worries or being honest and stirring up ten thousand more questions of them trying to get an explanation out of him.

He knew, of course, that their intense interest was only his parents' way to express how extremely concerned they were that his flame of enthusiasm was significantly dimmer than when he first arrived in Seoul. But he couldn't help but be irritated by it. It was his life. He would deal with it.

Even though he certainly wasn't really dealing with anything, he just learned how to ride the waves to get by. Isn't that what adulthood was all about anyway?

Whenever Jungkook did take the time to look around him, be it in the office or just walking through the busy streets, it was surprising to find how odd it felt to be surrounded by people but feel alone all the same. It was as if they were shadows, gray, without faces-- a mirage of fluid black and white. No one stopped to become familiar, to be recognized, to take a focused shape, and frankly, Jungkook didn't care enough to tip over the balance that everyone was so intent on keeping.

Until one unexpected day that is.

People often say that it takes just one very special person, and one fateful moment to change someone's entire world. To change the very fabric of one's thoughts and make one's gears spin backwards, against the grain, and against the windswept flow of society.

And for Jungkook, that turned out to be you.

You were strangers. Just mere beings walking up and down the street every day, heading in the same direction as everyone else. Everyone too busy on their phones or looking straight ahead with a sullen look at the promise of another mundane day, filled with the hope of more work, possible troubles, yet all the more money; too busy to take the time to truly glance around the world they were merely gliding through.

But then there was you.

It wasn't hard to notice you. You always walked through the crowd, on the opposite side of the silently assigned lanes. Parting the crowd silently, disrupting the order, and earning disgruntled looks.

For brief moments you filled his morning thoughts, with an inner monologue about how you were odd. Why walk against the flow? It was infinitely more difficult to evade the rushing passerbys to do it that way. Were you trying to make a point? Stick it to the man?

Initially, he only saw your torso and your face among the crowd, standing out for one, because you were heading a different direction than everyone else, but you also had mismatching colors on; vibrant and discordant. His curiosity got the best of him one day and so, he side stepped near the outside of the sardine can of people to shadow beside you.

And that's when he saw it. The surface answer to his questions.

Gripped in your right hand was a stick, feeling its way ahead of you.

The realization dawned on him: you were blind.

And then he made his descent to being a creep.

A helpful one, yet he still thought of his actions as well--very creepy.

During his morning commute to work, he would walk a few steps behind you on some days, while other days he would walk in front of you to make sure the path was clear; he would take the hit or signal people to shift over. And he was fine with being your silent helper, taking pride in doing a good deed without someone making a big deal about it as they always had. It made him feel undeniably good, like he had a small sense of purpose without expectation of reward. In a world that was so obsessed with gains and losses, it was refreshing. He was satisfied just watching over you in a parallel sphere, never intersecting, never intertwining your lives.

But fate had different plans.

Jungkook was on the shy side, both in his personal life and at work. He could count on his fingers how many people he trusted and felt comfortable around, enough to be loud, obnoxious, and comical. He had always preferred quality over quantity anyway.

But regardless, it took him by surprise when he found himself speaking up against someone who rudely bumped into you, nearly knocking you over. It irked him that the man had no qualms about plowing you over. If he hadn't been close by, you might have fallen and it pained him to think of the struggle you would've had to face in the middle of the sidewalk if the walking stick you held had rolled too far away. But maybe he was just immediately jumping to the worst case scenario.

"Hey." He sternly called out, earning the man's attention.

The man turned around shooting Jungkook a quizzical look.

"You should say sorry. She clearly wasn't hard to spot or walk around." He motioned to you.

The man was caught between being flustered and being defensively aggressive, but decided on the former in the interest of time.

"Sorry, man. Was in a hurry. Didn't mean to." The man stated half-heartedly then went about his way once again.

Jungkook sighed, knowing that wasn't as heartfelt of an apology as he had hoped to elicit, but he realized he had burst the bubble with his blatant interference, so he hurriedly spun around to find you waiting patiently for him to address you.

"Um...are you okay? Do you need help?" he blushed.

You perked up and smiled, "Oh no, I'm okay. I've been doing this forever, but every now and then I make a mistake...but then again who doesn't?"

Jungkook laughed, knowing full well it wasn't your fault, but who was he to argue when it already happened regardless of where the blame lay. "Yeah, you're right."

"But anyway, I should thank you um..."

"Jungkook." He held his hand out then hurriedly retracted it, remembering you couldn't see it.

"Thank you Jungkook." You extended your hand out. "I'm Y/N."

He relaxed and gripped your hand. "Nice to meet you, Y/N."

"Well, I shouldn't keep you any longer. You're probably on your way to work like everyone else." You smiled.

"Um yeah..." Jungkook flustered. He really wasn't sure how to continue the conversation, being quite rusty in that department. "See you around, Y/N."

Then he winced, realizing you couldn't actually really "see" him around. Oh god, had he already been insensitive within the first few seconds of meeting you?

You chuckled, possibly sensing his panic. But you never mentioned anything, simply returning his goodbye with, "See you around, Jungkook."

"Jungkook."

He yawned as he looked away from the coffee machine to find one of his female coworkers looking at him expectantly. Not that he knew her face. Most people on his team had a large red "X" in front of them in his mind. They were very much strangers to him, but held some importance in his life out of work relation, so he had to distinguish them in his imagination. But he did recognize her voice as she was someone who asked him questions a lot during meetings.

"Oh sorry. Am I in the way?" He grabbed his mug and tried to shift away, but she hurried to grab his arm to keep him in place.

"I uh no...I actually wanted to speak to you alone."

"I don't really know anything that happened in the last meeting. Sorry." He hummed as he glanced at the clock. The longer he stayed here, the later he would get out.

"No. I just...I've been meaning to well-- tell you something."

Jungkook nodded for her to continue, although in the back of his mind, he was rushing her to just spit it out.

"Would you like to go out sometime?"

Jungkook fought back the sigh that was clawing its way out of his throat.

Not another one.

Okay, maybe he was being a brat with complaining about how many people have asked him out since he came to Seoul, but instead of making him feel excited and confident, each confession made him feel burdened and honestly, a little disheartened. How was it that all these people who had no face to him could claim to like him, when they didn't know the first thing about him? How could they like someone they didn't know?

Oh right. Because he was good-looking.

It wasn't vanity, no. Jungkook valued himself as someone humble. But he took careful measures to take care of himself, from working out every day, to showing up clean cut at work, to spraying himself with cologne to smell nice. He knew he was somewhat pleasing to the eye for most people, but he didn't want people to like him just because of that. No one tried to befriend him or get to know him. They simply jumped the gun into romance. He didn't want someone to date him for his physicality, so it was disappointing.

Not that he had the guts to say that to anyone.

So simply, he bowed, mustering as apologetic an air as he could, and replied with, "I'm sorry. I can't return your feelings."

And then from there proceeded the awkward giggles and the flustered excuse with the eventual scurrying away out of embarrassment. Once that all played out, only then did Jungkook let out a long drawn out sigh. He sipped his coffee and hurried to his cubicle to get back to work.

Another sigh when he looked at the time. He was off schedule by five minutes.

He wondered if there was more to this or if this was it.

"Yes, mom. I'm fine. I've just been busy with work so I didn't get to answer back." Jungkook stated. "I'm on my way home now. Yes. Okay. Love you. Bye. Mhm."

He yawned once again. How was it that 8 hours at work always made him feel like his soul had been sucked dry? To think it's only one-third of the day, but it encompassed the majority of his life and energy. It was a bit depressing.

Suddenly, he felt a tap on his heel. Curiously, he turned around, gasping a little when he found you smiling warmly at him.

"Jungkook?" You called out.

He blinked, flustered.

"Oh god, did I get the wrong person?" You worried.

"No, no! It's me." He answered quickly, remembering that you couldn't see that it was actually him. "I was just surprised you knew."

"I'm good at recognizing voices, but sometimes I'm wrong." You laughed. "Thank goodness it wasn't one of those times."

Jungkook found himself grinning, "Yeah, thank goodness."

"Talk about awkward." You sang lightly. "Anyway, I didn't mean to eavesdrop on your conversation. I just recognized your voice so I tuned in to figure out where you were."

"That's the coolest excuse I've heard to downplay eavesdropping." Jungkook chuckled.

"I try." You shrugged.

An odd feeling washed over Jungkook in that moment. Call it spontaneity, curiosity -- he wasn't sure, but he knew he suddenly didn't feel like going home, back to his apartment where he would just be alone, scrolling through his phone watching other people's lives to forget about his own. He wanted to do something different and right now, you were that new variable that had thrown him for a loop. But part of him was also fascinated with learning about you, and in turn, how you would view him as a person when you learned about him. It was definitely an odd feeling, one he hardly ever felt.

It was difficult to admit out loud, but he had been intrigued by you since the beginning. The way you held your head high and functioned naturally alongside everyone else, despite being different. So maybe it was his innermost desire for something more or maybe it was just his natural tendency to seek answers, but whatever the reason, it compelled him to lengthen his time with you.

"Hey. Do you want to go grab some coffee?" He asked, his heart racing a little at the possibility of a rejection.

Luckily, it wasn't long until you agreed.

"Sure." You pointed the stick ahead. "Lead the way, Jungkook."

"Um...how do I do that?" He questioned, concerned that he wouldn't do it right.

"Well if you talk and walk, that helps." You responded without a hint of taking offense. "I would ask if I could hold on to you, but it's a bit too soon for arm holding. And I'm not that kind of girl."

Jungkook couldn't help but laugh at her joke. It definitely helped ease him into talking and walking.

"Okay so I know this good cafe close by. We just got to spin around."

"Spinning." You turned around. "So feel free to tell me if I'm being too intrusive with my questions. I often tend to scare people off. Although I have no idea why anybody would be intimidated by me."

Jungkook's lips curled up, sensing she was making another joke about how people treated her. How most people didn't bother because they didn't know how.

"Well ask away." Jungkook shrugged. "Although you should be prepared to answer your own questions, I tend to throw them back at people."

"Ahh...one of those, huh?" she teased.

Jungkook laughed.

"Let's start off with a basic one. What color is your hair?"

"Now that's far too intrusive." Jungkook teased.

"I have this thing against people with brown hair. If you fit that category, I'm afraid we can't continue on this path." You bantered in return.

"How unfortunate. I do have brown hair." Jungkook grinned.

"Yeah, bye." You playfully waved your hand and pretended to turn the other way.

"You're ridiculous." Jungkook found himself stating.

"Oh now we're on the level of stating the obvious? Things sure are escalating." You grinned.

"Do you always joke around this much with strangers?" Jungkook asked.

"Hmm..." You hummed.

He glanced at you curiously then pulled you a little towards him when a group of people were trying to squeeze themselves past you.

"Are we still strangers?" You questioned.

Jungkook was a little taken aback. Your tone wasn't accusatory at all, simply curious.

"I uh...I mean I don't really know about you...other than your name and that you're..." he trailed off, unsure if he should mention the obvious.

"Blind?" You chuckled. "It's alright. I'm quite aware that I am."

"Do you think we're strangers?" Jungkook blinked.

"Probably, but I think we're on our way to becoming acquaintances as we speak." You shrugged. "I guess I never really thought about the transition until you mentioned it."

"Me neither."

He felt himself blush as your shoulders brushed against his. How long had it been since he had talked to someone new and been this close in proximity?

"Are we almost there?" You questioned.

"Yeah. Why? Tired of walking?"

"This is no ordinary stick. It contains superpowers. It's quite heavy with responsibility."

There you go again with your jokes, but Jungkook realized he quite enjoys them.

"Surely, you shouldn't be confessing such a big secret to a stranger." He joined in.

"Mmm well if word gets out, I'll know who you are and how to get rid of you." You cackled.

"With your magic stick?" Jungkook snorted.

"I prefer scepter." You grinned. "Sounds a bit more elegant."

Jungkook lightly guided your back to direct you towards the cafe as the two of you laughed about your insane conversation. When was the last time he genuinely laughed like this?

The conversation flowed easily as the pair of you joined the masses in line.

"Jungkook." You called as he had pulled his phone out of habit when there was a lull in the discussion.

"Hm?" he hummed.

"Tell me what you see." You requested.

He blinked, surprised. "What do you mean?"

"Count for me how many people are on their phones, including yourself." You grinned.

"How did you--?"

"I just guessed." You shrugged.

Jungkook shyly put his phone into his pocket and glanced around. He was a bit taken aback to find that almost the entire cafe was filled with people on their phones or computers despite sitting or standing with other people. Only a handful of people were actually talking to the person in front of them.

"I'd say 80% of the people in here are on some sort of device." He reported, intrigued by this forced observation. "I think the people who aren't, are either on some sort of date or catching up with an old friend?"

He spotted your lips curling up at his assumption.

"Interesting isn't it?" was all you stated before panic set into Jungkook, realizing the two of you were next in line, but you weren't able to read the menu. He should've read it to you during the wait or given you recommendations.

"Y/N -- " he started, but you stepped forward to the cash register.

"Hi, sorry to be a bother, but can you tell me what coffees you have on your menu?" You asked politely.

The worker was quick to pick up on why you requested such an action and kindly talked you through their options. Jungkook relaxed and watched you navigating through the order in awe, until he was brought back to reality when he spotted you fumbling into your purse.

"I got this, Y/N." He stepped forward and pulled out his card. "I'll take a caramel macchiato."

"Thanks." You smiled gratefully. "I should be treating you since you helped me and all."

"Next time." Jungkook chuckled. "I gotta order the most expensive thing when it's your turn to pay."

You laughed and obliged.

"I'll wait for the order. Do you want to go grab seats? Oh..." Jungkook stopped himself.

"I got it." You replied a little tensely.

He spotted you frown a little before starting your search. He bit his lip worriedly. He really wasn't sure how to not offend you.

He kept an eye on you while he listened for your names, and he relaxed as you settled into a table by the windows without much problem. He suddenly felt quite foolish. You had been living in this world like this for about as long as he had. Who had he been to think you wouldn't be able to find your own seat? Way to go, Jungkook.

He picked up your drinks and headed to where you were.

"I'm sorry." He quickly apologized, hating the gnawing feeling in his chest.

"You reacted like everyone does. Don't worry." You waved your hand. "But I'm going to be straightforward and state that I don't like when people make assumptions and determine what I can and can't do just because I'm blind."

"I know. I didn't mean to. I just didn't want to burden you...." he mumbled.

"It's okay. I know you had good intentions. And I know you don't know me well enough yet, but trust me that I know when it'll be hard or not. I'll ask for help and tell you that it'll be difficult to do alone, okay?"

"Yeah, of course." Jungkook nodded.

"Cool." You grinned. "Now help me find my drink."

Jungkook chuckled and placed the cup in your hand.

"Shit that's hot." You hissed as you retracted your fingers.

"Can't handle the heat?" He snorted.

"I usually don't back down on a challenge, but it is the absolute worst when you have a burnt tongue and you can't enjoy delicious food." You explained.

"Agreed."

"Anyway, don't you think it's interesting that we're the most connected generation to ever live, yet we hardly ever truly connect with people?" You threw out a question.

"What do you mean?" Jungkook blinked.

"So phones and computers...it lets us connect to more people, regardless of distance, regardless of economic class, regardless of work field, right? We see into people's lives on a whole different level." You started. "But we hardly utilize it to know someone's depth and get closer with them. In fact, I think it actually forms a rift between people who are in your proximity, because knowing that you have people to talk to without making the effort to see them, makes you care less."

"Wow." Jungkook muttered.

"Sorry." You blushed and took a sip of your coffee. "I get carried away sometimes."

"I um...well..." Jungkook stuttered, trying to form a coherent opinion on this matter. But he was guilty of all of the above and he had no excuse for it. "I'm guilty as charged I guess."

"I didn't mean to call you out! Oh no!" You flailed your hands frantically. "I just...it bothers me... because well-- talking and conversing is really all I have to make a connection with others. So it's a little sad that face-to-face conversations are a dying art."

"I never actually thought about it before." Jungkook admitted. "It was just easily accessible for me...and a good distraction from boredom and awkwardness."

"I get that for sure." You smiled. "But maybe it won't be so boring and awkward if you take the time to talk and fill those gaps with questions and answers."

"Interesting." Jungkook hummed.

"But I might be presumptuous here." You shied away. "I don't mean to sound like I'm lecturing you on how to live your life. It's my silly opinion."

Jungkook's lips curled up. "It's not silly at all. It's been awhile since I heard a freely stated opinion."

"Oh? Why?"

"I mean at work we have friendly discussions, but it's fairly regimented and filtered to be professional. Everyone's on edge to make themselves look good and not get on our Director's bad side, so words and opinions are always chosen carefully." Jungkook explained.

"Sounds stifling." You chuckled.

"Very." He agreed.

"So why are you in that sort of environment?"

"It's a job." He answered, simply.

"Ah." You nodded.

"What's your opinion on that?" he questioned.

You smiled, "What makes you think I have an opinion on that?"

"You seem to be one for having opinions." Jungkook commented light-heartedly.

"I can't argue there." You chuckled. "But I think everyone has their own opinions. I'm just a bit more vocal and attuned to mine."

"So?" Jungkook urged, genuinely interested in your perspective.

"I guess it's normal to be in a job that gets routine." You took a sip, probably to give yourself time to formulate your thoughts. "Routine itself isn't a bad thing. It's stability. But you sound like you hate your time there."

"I like what I do..." Jungkook hummed. "But I guess I just don't know if there's more to all this."

"So reach for more." You shrugged.

"Huh?"

You tilted your head cutely, a hint of confusion in your expression. "Well if you want more to life then go for it?"

Jungkook burst into laughter at the simplicity of it all. You continued to stare at him, probably more at a loss at his reaction to your statement.

"Makes sense." He chuckled. "But where to begin, you know?"

"That's something I can't exactly help you with." You smiled at your cup. "But maybe someone at work can provide you with insight?"

"Uh well..." Jungkook scratched his head. "I don't exactly have any work friends."

Admitting all his worries and how sad of a life he was living to this completely-not-exactly-stranger-anymore was very cathartic. Maybe it wasn't bad opening up once in awhile.

There was an agonizing few seconds of silence before you started cracking up.

"Are you serious?" You breathed.

"Very." Jungkook stated dryly.

"Why? You seem like such a nice and chill guy. I'm sure you'll get along with people! I mean we got on well enough, and we literally have known each other for a few hours."

He blushed at the undeniable fact. It really was amazing how the two of you seemed to just connect. Maybe it was because he was taking the time to truly talk to you, instead of being distracted by the virtual world for once.

"I'm shy, and no one's really reached out to me either at work in my defense." He huffed.

"Now that's immature." You teased. "Just 'cause they don't come to you, that doesn't mean you can't go to them. Maybe they're just as shy as you. Or that big 'fuck off' on your forehead is scaring them away."

"I don't have a big 'fuck off' on my forehead." he argued.

"You not interacting with others is equivalent to having that branded on your forehead. No wonder you're miserable at work." You reached out towards him, clutching onto his arm gently. "Listen, Jungkook. Life is ten times better with people to stumble around with. Most jobs are miserable, if not a majority of the time, at least once in a while. You need to connect with someone that can make it less like a slaughter and more like a battlefield."

He glanced down at your hands on his arm in contemplation. He could feel how much you cared about him and how sincere your advice was. It was peculiar, but it felt nice, warm. Since you couldn't see him smiling, he covered your hand with his, hopefully conveying the depth of his gratitude.

"I'll search out for my partner in crime and see if this opinion of yours works then."

He was never good with expressing his true feelings, but he hoped you would understand all the same. You seem to though because you squeezed his hand and grinned.

"Good luck."

Usually Jungkook would be among the first people to run out of any social gathering, often making up excuses as to why he had to leave early, but it all came down to preferring to be in the comfort of his bedroom than out pretending to be chummy with strangers he works with. But after your coffees (since you two had ordered a few more rounds) had either gotten cold, taking a backseat to conversations, or been completely consumed, you both naturally decided it was time to leave. Jungkook actually felt a bit sad about it, which was yet another new emotion for him.

He was so consumed with his own thoughts as to why he was feeling this type of way that he didn't hear you saying your goodbyes. Then he realized that he had no way of contacting you again. He quickly jolted back to the present as you were a few steps away already.

"I don't know how to reach you!" He called out.

You chuckled and turned around, yelling in return, "We'll see each other again! Don't worry!"

Jungkook smiled.

"Besides, you've always been helping me out this whole time anyway. I'm sure you know where to find me." You winked and waved before departing again.

Jungkook stood there, mouth agape, eyes wide. Had you known this whole time he had been silently helping you?

He chuckled to himself. He had thought he was being smooth and stealthy, but he guessed not. His eyes found their way back to you in the crowd. He could've sworn that he saw a flicker of yellow around you as you walked away, despite the bleakness of the cloudy day and impending darkness of the coming evening. Was it hope? Was it a sign that the gray he had surrounded himself with wasn't going to be like that forever?

Regardless of the answer, he knew for sure that whether this meeting was brief or meant to be something more lasting, his world would never be the same.

PART 2

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