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astronicht · 5 months ago

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Lots of sports going on but I got back to the end of Two Towers, and Frodo tried to go across a bridge over misty cold water to a forbidding citadel and got dragged back by Sam AND Gollum from this Hel-vibes situation. Do NOT cross a bridge over freezing misty stream if ur in an early medieval fantasy! This is all feeling suspiciously “symbolic desire to enter the land of the dead”! Horrid foreshadowing, thanks!

So yeah, I sort of blinked at this but figured either it was or wasn’t a reference to the bridge to Hel (Norse land of the dead, not Hell), and read on.

And then they climb the stairs and then they start talking about stories again. It’s not exactly a direct “drag a loved one away from maybe-a-deathwish-allegory” to “talking about stories” journey, but it’s how it feels, a little. After hundreds of pages of only the occasional elephant wonder-tale: stories! Something that is the opposite of death: stories!

I cry at Sam’s Two Towers story speech like a baby when it comes on in the films, but reading this I was mostly distracted by what was and wasn’t borrowed word for word (most of it?? Holy shit good choice). But the bit not in the films where Sam talks about Beren, and how he succeeded in “a worse place and a blacker danger than ours” but adds that Beren’s is “a long tale, of course, and goes on past happiness and into grief and beyond it” got too me a bit. And then Sam realizes there’s a distant connection between Beren and the vial Galadriel gave Frodo (which he was clutching as he smiled grimly even tho “despair had not left him” and stopped trying to cross the bridge) and Sam says “Why, to think of it, we’re in the same tale still! It’s going on. Don’t the great tales never end?”

And yeah that whole section got me in the end!! I keep quoting it but holy SHIT, u know? The love and tension when Frodo answers:

“‘No, they never end as tales,’ said Frodo. But the people in them come, and go when their part’s ended. Our part will end later — or sooner.’

‘And then we can have some rest and some sleep,’ said Sam. He laughed grimly. ‘And I mean just that, Mr. Frodo. I mean plain ordinary rest”

So anyway I stopped laughing at myself for imagining that perhaps Tolkien was referencing the bridge to the halls of death and shut up and thought about Sam trying to convince Frodo to live three times in a row.

#Astro lotr #it’s three times bc it continues on the next page!#anyway you ever love someone who wants to die?#CW suicidal ideation #juuuust to be very very on the safe side #nothing beyond canon

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moeblob · 5 months ago

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A succubus and a demon! (The succubi don't have names but the demon is Kronos and the succubus is one of his bosses in Hell and he's not /fond/ of the succubi for many reasons but they all adore picking on him)

Also because I love them and like to point it out, the succubi act more as pleasure dealers in the sense of they offer up whatever a human wants most in exchange for their soul. It's rarely of a sexual nature since it's what they want MOST in life. And most people's ambitions are outside of a bedroom. (happy pride, asexuals are able to get affected by a succubus now without discrimination)

#my characters #did i make succubi in a plot that i could fall victim to as an asexual personally? yeah #kronos is just a petty lil baby with a younger brother who is very nice for a demon #kronos is responsible for being a dick to everyone in the plot and yet has the weirdest morals and its not fine #but hes gonna make that everyone elses problem not his #for instance he originally goes to earth bc a human has somehow just stolen all of the Devils attention and its annoying #why fixate on one human doomed to Hell just let the guy live and die then fixate #so he goes to kill the human but ends up saving the guy and then agonizes because even as a demon #its REALLY tacky to save someone and then kill them #so he doesnt kill him and instead demands to be a roommate until he returns to hell #and then they team up to kill demons and other creatures that seem obsessed with the human #and so they just kinda kill and banish demons back to hell and its fiiiine kronos is just causing problems for Hell #thats not even a new issue hes always doing that !#and then they meet a siren who refuses to talk and kronos is like oh time to be the biggest dick ever #and is like well if she wont talk and she needs a name i vote halibut #as a mean joke bc why would she want to be named after a fish #and she lights up and is SUPER happy and nods and beams and is so happy with her new name #and then the human is like well she needs more clothes than one outfit right #also shes barefoot and its cold i need to buy her shoes idk what tho #and kronos is like here buy her these rainboots and so the guy buys them and is like just wear these #until you can show me what you want bought ok and halibut is in love with her cute lil yellow rainboots #so basically everything kronos does out of spite to the weird mute siren (by choice) backfires #and she adores him and doesnt know hes trying to be mean to her #anyway the succubi collectively like to pick on the really silly and childish demons they outrank #like kronos! so he is constantly a target for them to mock which is why he isnt fond of them which fuels them more #the succubi are just really chill most of the time though ?#and its just. i love my succubi ok theyre wonderful #and that has been another story time in the tags bye

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notbecauseofvictories · 2 years ago

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I never want to read about people having healthy, loving relationships in fiction. Not for any particularly noble or logical reason, I just hate it.

#I have to make friends in reality! I have to date and have emotionally honest conversations with my mother in reality!#I have to fucking self-actualize with my goddamn stupid self #IN FICTION I NEED YOU TO NEVER SPEAK OF YOUR EMOTIONS AND BLOW SOMETHING UP TO AVOID DEALING WITH THEM #have terribly ill-advised sex with someone who you feel complicated feelings for! and then #and this is key ABSOLUTELY DO NOT ADDRESS IT #no one ever gets therapy. everyone represses the hell out of everything they're feeling and then they die.#......maybe MAYBE you get a dramatic deathbed confessional but that's only if you've been viciously repressed enough to earn it.#anyway I need these characters to live the life I cannot because apparently I want to be ''fulfilled''#and not ''viciously repressed and an unknown cipher to the people I love''#......................................................I'm drunk and annoyed.#from the bookshelf

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aq2003 · 1 year ago

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i feel murderous intent within my bones whenever i see someone calling ten whiny for his "i could do so much more" speech . do not ever talk about him ever again. EVER again. i am in your walls

#dr who #anyway ever regain your will to live bc you've connected with someone that you (bleeding heart. loves people as easily as breathing) see as #almost a father figure . and he tells you that youre a wonderful person and that he doesn't want you to die/sacrifice yourself #(he's known you for such a short amount of time. but he knows how much you mattered to his granddaughter and that means so much)#and then just as you think youve finally made it and survived despite everything you have to sacrifice yourself for him. so he can live #he screams about how it's unfair and IT IS. ITS SO UNFAIR. and also because he's made his decision the second he saw wilf stuck there.#'oh i've lived too long' is how he makes peace with it. he's only lived for six years.#i cried again typign these tags turns out im not over his death lmfao somebody lobotomize me #10 era

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tinytimism · 30 days ago

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i’m having such a hard time wrapping my mind around liam payne’s death. i didn’t like him as a person and i don’t think anyone whose discussed his abuse of maya henry should retract their statements or feel bad about them no matter how harsh they were because it’s important to talk about to prevent it from happening again. because of his history of abuse and grooming fans i can’t mourn him the way i would’ve ten years ago and any tears i do shed will be for his friends family maya henry and his other victims who shouldn’t feel bad and be made to feel bad by stans who put their faves over the protection and safety of women and girls. i don’t feel like it’s the place of people who didn’t know him personally (knew him through one direction etc) to tell other who didn’t know him because emotions have no morality and people’s feelings over a death shouldn’t be dictated underneath a urfaveisproblematic lens

#liz informs you #i didn’t like or love him #still sad because that’s how some people feel when someone dies believe it or not #talking about how sad you are that a one direction reunion’s not gonna happen is so unbelievably insensitive #they were his friends. what they’re going through rn is unimaginable.#i hope they’re surrounded by people who love them rn.#i hope maya henry and his other victims don’t doubt themselves for one second #sometimes bad people die horribly. doesn’t mean they were suddenly good people actually #and those they hurt are to blame for his death #i cannot say that he deserved it knowing that his son is gonna have to grow up without a father #and he’s gonna grow up and see how shitty he could be without being able to navigate that with him #hopefully this sounds coherent #twitter is a cesspool rn and i wanted to talk about this without a mutual suddenly turning on me because i used the wrong word #and i didn’t make a saint out of him or say that he’s burning in hell #if 9/11 2 ever happens it should be to the tmz hq #anyways tell your loved ones that you love them. live your life to the fullest #never take a second of it for granted #one direction #music tag #liam payne #harry styles #louis tomlinson #niall horan #zayn malik

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lloydfrontera · 3 months ago

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i think it fucks immensely that bk moon went out of his way to 1) establish rakiel wished to live a long life and eventually pass away of old age, 2) have him very briefly envy an immortal being only to be told very clearly to be careful what he wishes for by that very same person because living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be, 3) make the main antagonist be another immortal being who is so desperate to die he's willing to destroy the universe just to finally rest and 4) have said antagonist psychologically torture rakiel with the threat of making him live for a thousand years as everyone he loves and knows eventually grows old and dies and becomes nothing but forgotten memories.

only to then end the novel by making rakiel also immortal

like. god. it's so fucking good i love it. i'm not being sarcastic i genuinely think it fucks and it's one of the best ways bk moon could've wrapped up the plot.

it's a happy ending by all means but it has consequences and through the entire novel we've been shown and told over and over again just how heavy the consequences are and/or will be on rakiel.

he got his happy ending but it was at a price and by the last time we see him he's only just starting to pay for it.

it's great i love it

#i talk a lot <3 #cpsm #cpsm spoilers #rakiel magentano #i also think it's funny that this puts bk moon in the very awkward position when it comes to his 'romance' with adeline #because either rakiel allows her to remain human and sees her grow old and eventually die just like acheros threatened him with #(and like he will do with absolutely everyone he loves anyway <3)#or he keeps her alive and frozen in time just like acheros wanted to do with him forcing her to be cut off from the world #in most ways that matter and see the people she loves grow old and die. again. just like acheros threatened to do with him :)#like. either way. the situations sucks for them <33 #i do think it's cheap if he can make her immortal without it being a big deal. because. why wouldn't it be.#it would be absolutely broken if absolutes can just. make people immortal for funsies whenever they want. that would be bad writing.#but again i also think it's cheap that he made alicia an angel for no other reason than bc someone needed to remind us lloyd is married #to a woman actually. like. she doesn't even do anything why did you ruin the absolute tragedy that is being an immortal being surrounded #by very mortal humans just to make awful 'my wife is annoying' jokes. i hate you.#sigh. it's lose/lose when it comes to women with this man and his choices.#either they're fridged to make his male characters sad or they become the butt of misogynistic jokes. i cannot fucking win.#ANYWAY. do i think any of this was on purpose? maybe idk i certainly hope so and want to believe it is because otherwise it would be #too much of a coincidence but like. this is also the man who wrote a character very explicitly and clearly wishing to live a quiet life #with his family in his middle-of-nowhere estate where nothing ever happens with no contact at all with royalty and court #so he can laze about and do absolutely nothing. and then married him to a queen who cannot stand lazy people and squeezes the last bit #of talent of everyone around her. and he saw nothing wrong with this. so like. i genuinely cannot tell with this man sometimes 🙃🙃

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francy-sketches · 2 years ago

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I hateeee how asoiaf has just become the "incest books lol" to so many people. what a dumb and reductive way to look at a series that has so much more like. of all the things you could say are the central themes of asoiaf incest in not one of them lmao.(yes obviously it's present, but not nearly as much as people make it out to be) And this isn't about people who havent read it and are just judging from the outside bc who gives a shit about them. But I see this mostly from fans and its just??? what the fuck did you read/watch lmao. I mean even hotd which centers around thee incest family isnt about the incest and you'd have to have negative media literacy to think it is.

Also it's fucking insane how being uncomfortable with incest shipping gets you ridiculed in this fandom lmao. like I'm not here to be the morality police ship whatever the fuck you want idc. but dont be surprised when it makes people uncomfortable??? "ummm if you dont like incest why are you reading the incest books/watching the incest show??? weirdo" I dont fucking know man maybe all the other 348593 interesting things it's about. just a guess. And these are the same people who go on about "well just bc you write something fucked up doest mean you agree with it" which. yes! true!! then why do you uncritically endorse targ incest blood purity 😭 do you think maybe that's one of the things grrm wrote that he doesnt agree with? of course not, hotd is a cautionary tale about the dangers of not doing incest and what happens when you let your pure valyrian blood be contaminated by gross peasant genes from outside your family ^_^ obviously ^_^ and anyone who's not into your incest ships is a bigot <3 "but it's normal in their world!1!11!!!" no its not lol. and even if it was. marrying children is also normal in their world what's your point

#.txt #asoiaf #incest cw #'the gods hate incest. Look how they brought down the Targaryens' <- chracter who clearly thinks incest is normal #btw with incest i mostly mean siblings here. bc cousins seems to be pretty normal for them. but there's a big difference lol #its normal for the targs and that's it #and even then. man it would have been so interesting to explore targ incest as psychological horror rather that 'perfect uwu babies'#like imagine being a kid showing normal affection to your sibling and your parents are like. omg someone's in love <3 #thats so fucked up and interesting to me!! but no instead we get 'and baegel married his sistercousin and they lives happily ever after <3'#btw i wanna make it clear im not clutching my pearls at people who think incest in asoiaf is interesting #or like it in a 'wow that's fucked up. more' kinda way #but man the 'uwu incest romance' people are so annoying lol. daemon is a malewife sure whatever make everything boring #also i think its gross lmao but again ship what you want idc #especially when its not canon like. why do you want extra incest 🤨#im so tired of seeing helaemond everywhere jfc leave them aloneeee. aemond is a freak but not in that way -_-#lucemond also. die #cringe ass ship names btw -_-#sorry for the rant i dont like to get too serious but this annoys me so baddd #anyway f&b was a mistake

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averlym · 1 year ago

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a word to the wise sometimes the only true rest is looking beyond what you thought was success

so true! adamandi is full of wise advice such as this, including: "and you'll never feel better if you - fucking die- you stupid ass!"

#these are all very good reminders. especially during exam season (i am suffering. but at least i'm working on art coursework so it's #suffering i love.) guys i have maybe a bit too many thoughts on ambrose. sculpture. and ceramics. and studio. in my art student 3d era rn #tmr it's black and white 2d so it's vincent vibes instead... anyways. in my breaks i ended up brainstorming more doodles again so..#anywaysndhfnfjfhf sorry to detract! but like these two quotes are holding my sanity intact i think.#at this point even without listening to the live soundtrack it sounds in my head so. lasting impressions i guess. every time i get anxious #' you'll never get better if you fucking die'' sounds in my head and i go ''ah yes there's a whole life outside''#continuing this ramble you ever think how vincent went from you'll never get better if you fucking die to '' first i chose my friend #ambrose for my debut :DD'' realll quick. or also how this principle worked for when he was talking to ambrose about it and then. for himself #he didn't want to get better. he wanted quincy to get better and so '' you'll never get better if you die'' held through to the end #it just wasn't a mentality that saved him... god that screws me up. so many thoughts.#anyways anon!!!! thank you for sending this :3 made my day <33 very vibes #going to put the soundtrack on and power through studio again.. :3 adamandi asks are welcomed ngl teehee #ask me stuff???#on another note sometimes it's so surreal that actors are real people... i guess the magic of theatre is that it makes the characters come #to life.. like i believe actors are real. and deserve to be treated like people. for the record. but also when consuming media and it's the #suspension of disbelief? these are Real Characters i can't believe that someone who isn't them is making these sounds and doing these things #it's so insane. incredible. idk i just have very high admiration for the cast and idk how i got here even... akshdjdhdf #<blinks> they did such a good job akdhdnfhfbgfhff ok bye #first time i swear in the actual post on this blog and not in the tags... of course

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milfronin · 1 year ago

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#vent post essay ahead lol #having complexes about talking about your emotions is literally the fucking devil . its miserable. it sucks so bad.#the aamount of damage that is caused to someone by like #i mean im talking abou t me here obviously.#being the person whose like. overall ultimately tends not to feel horrible as often is like.#it's nice not feeling bad emotionally all the time but also it's like. i develop this complex about being like able to help.#i don't feel bad anywhere near as often as my friends so i can help them out and listen to them vent i can have the mental room to #like listen to them talk about their problems. yeah. but it makes me feel like. well this is my job now so i shouldn't fucking talk about m #i shouldnt vent when i feel bad because that's not what i'm known for. plus my friends already all feel worse than me more often than me. s #i don't want to dump any more on their plate than they have to deal with. i don't want to burden them anymore than i have to. and like it's #it's hard. i hate fucking talking about it and it's made so much worse when its like people i love . always been a fucking problem becaus #i just feel fucking horrible admitting that i feel bad i hate that so much. i don't want to like turn away people who care about me but li #i feel like if i tell them what's wrong with me i'll like do it anyways. i feel like i come off as super normal and happy go lucky and like #ostensibly fine. so when i admit this shit its like. oops the facade is cracking!!!!!! uh oh uh oh you can't help people so you feel bad!!!#because your fucking npd has made you feel self centered in a way that means you want to help people or some shit i dont fucking know #and so when i feel bad or get mad over something unreasonable it's like. well i hope i fucking keel over and die or something i dont like .#i don't want people seeing me like this or whatever. and my stupid fucking personality disorder just ruins every god damn thing its so bad.#my past experiences giving me complexes that lead to me feeling fucking left out over like small stupid stuff but god the worst part is lik #my brain categorizing something as being ''My Thing'' so somebody else talks about liking my thing AFTER my brain has designated it mine #makes alarm bells go off and feel like theyre fucking. i don't know encroaaching on my turf or what the fuck ever? it SUCKS ASS #it makes me feel HORRIBLE . and it's like i'm not gonna fucking bring it up because i don't wnt to be like a dick but also it's like well.#i feel fucking miserable about this but it's just like mean and unnecessary and cruel to like stifle people's fucking fun because of my dum #fuckin complexes. it's fucking constant. like oh look at you girl you feel fucking left out because you never get characters who really gri #you mentally and so now you have one but oops! someone else talked about them and now you're seeing red! you like this person though #so you're gonna feel fucking MISERABLE about this . you're gonna feel HORRIBLE because of this. and there's nothing you can fucking do #and it controls my goddamn life and i HATE IT i fucking HATE IT i wish i knew how to fix it. ghghrgurghrughruhg i want to fucking explode #and then you feel bad about feeling bad because you are fucking sisyphus. you're sisyphus. and your own anger is your boulder. you ingrate.#i hate this. i just wanted to have a good day.#jane mary cry one tear

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gu6chan · 6 months ago

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99% just my autism speaking here but something ive been noticing lately that im sorta kinda 😶 about is when ppl are like "I think you'll like this" but not bc they ACTUALLY think you'll like it, rather they just got into it and want you to also get into it so "I think you'll like this" is a nice personal hook. i love chill stuff as much as any other person ofc but given i don't divulge that EVER, what makes you think my berserk reading, made in abyss watching, drakengard playing ass would like YURU CAMP????

#gu6chan's musings #am i just taking the phrase too literally???? like i appreciate the thought but also.... what agitates me is the fact theres not any #when i say something among the lines of 'i think YOU'LL like this' or 'This made me think of you' like #its bc i think of THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR or think THAT PERSON IN PARTICULAR would like it #again it's probably just autism brain taking figures of speech too literally but i HATE it bc it just makes me feel like #all the times i shared my interests meant nothinggggg typically i just ask 'neat; what makes you think ill like it?' and ppl start stumbling #and im like :(#whats rlly funny in this case is not only the fact i had only ever established my love of dark fantasy and mystery to this person #but they also flatout asked 'youre not really into modern media much are you' to which the answer was 'not much lol'#and i said the reasons i dont care for 'cute girls doing cute things' anime (re: k-on) is bc if i have the time to watch it then i at LEAST #wanna spend it watching a series that's???? not 'the point of it is to relax :)'??? i can sleep for that #anyways like 2 days later they said they said they think id REALLY like this new anime they've been watching lately and I was like 'oh?'#and it was yuru camp.... and internally i was like 'are you fucking kidding me' but on the outside i was like 'oh sweet what makes you think #id like it? id love some new media recommendations especially if they're newer shows bc ive been having SO MUCH TROUBLE trying to find #something interesting that isn't from 2008'#and they sent me a picture of the most generic anime girl ever and they're like 'it has really cute girls' and then i just wanted to kms #like.... this isn't bc you thought id like it; is it.....#wanted to die internally but i played it cool and was like 'oh no; i appreciate it thoughtfulness and all but i don't think this is for me'#also the time where someone recommended signalis to me and i was like 'oh?' and they were like 'YEAH its SO good the people who made it #were even INSPIRED off of Nier' KNOWING FULL WELL I DIDN'T LIKE IT AND THE AMOUNT MY ENTHUSIASM JUST DIED... i was like #'oh. well that will be a pass then' and they tried backpedaling like 'well it's not SUPER inspired; i didn't know you HATED nier :(' like #my past 15 posts on my twitter werent me realising that the game was absolute garbage and calling it the most regretful thing ive ever spent #money on during my attempted playthrough 😭 i was like 'thanks; but I'll pass' to which they then responded by promptly sending me #signalis memes i had absolutely no idea how to respond to WITHOUT making it seem like i was super annoyed so i was just kinda 😶 and didn't #reply and they were like 'sorry :(' and i was like 'haha it's okay! i just have absolutely no idea how to respond to this joke i dont #understand at ALL'#was probably one of the more awkward interactions ive ever had but genuinely speaking i was so INTERESTED until they brought up that it was #inspired by nier i literally psychically felt all the enthusiasm leaving my body from 'damn; i might actually have to look into this' to #'oh well that's a bullet dodged' did not trust the backtracking either....

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slaythespire · 8 months ago

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GUARDS!!!! hes posting abt it again

#anyway actually one of the worst parts of being broken up with in such a cruel way is that it feels like i wasted my one chance at having #someone in my life like that #and it wasnt even my fault! wow #who am i kidding its not even worth dating anyone again i dont think #nobody besides that one person has ever been interested in me anyway #sorry if i dont post abt my feelings i die #i just wish i was overrrrr itttt uuuuhg #actually its so fucked up that if his linkedin isnt lying he had a job for 2 years while we were dating that he just never told me abt once #i should have known i just wasnt an important part of his life no matter how many times he tried to say i was and that he loved me with all #the things he just didnt share with me #like getting his license and shit just nothing had to find out other ways #whateverrrrr whateverrrrrr #its always the ppl who cry abt how 'they arent treating you right' 'it hurts me that im hurting you and im sorry' who actually just want #ur feelings to be all about them

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caruliaa · 2 years ago

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yk i think like. im trying desperately not to depress people around me w how close to doomerism i can veer but like. at a certain point its like. the effort and exhaustion that goes into maintaining just being alive in this world is not worth what comes from being alive and like. girlies we may have reached it. el oh el.

#like obvs its different for everyone like. what i really mean is that i have reached it or like. tht was always inevitably the case #for my life. which ik feels really depressing to say nd im sorry tht it makes ppl sad but idk like. its just true at a certain point #absolutely not from a lack of trying from the good things within my life to be clear not at all like. ik have sm great parts to my life #tht like. just mean so so much to me and im so so lucky to have but as upsetting as it is to say and think abt #at a certain point having to choose between being trapped in a situation were you can never authentically exist or like #have any control over your life and exist on your own terms even in v small ways while having to constantly be around people whove #caused you so much pain and trauma and hurt and being is a situation were like. at best your constantly working to afford living and you #are constantly exhausted by this and have no time for being yourself anyway and at worst you just cant afford anything and you die #and that could happen to you at any point idk like. these are my two options and i cant change anything about that fact #no matter how much i want to and that feeling is just. so so crushing and inescapable and just idk i dont know how to deal with it #like. idk iv done everything to try to but its only ever a temporary distraction #bc the problem isnt fucking like. mental or emotional its the facts of my reality and that cant be changed #so ofc im going to be constantly fucking miserable things just. are misearble #and idk. im sorry tht thts something other ppl have to deal with when it comes to like. knowing me bc genuinly its like.#they dont deserve that its sm pain for somoene to deal with and if that someone isnt. somone whos come to term with what #my fate invetiably is like have ik its too much nd im sorry for like. putting that on ppl i just. idk im sorry #idk what up with me suddnely. i mean i do but like. idk why i cant just hold it together like. this has always been the case idk why #im letting it upset me sm suddenly . ig bc i let myself have hope at some point. like an idiot.#idk im sorry. and its nearly 1am so i think im just going to go to sleep.im so sorry for just. all of this.#lucy if your reading tihs im so sorry for not sending and answering asks but i want to say that i love you so so so much. and im sorry #flappy rambles #vent #ask to tag

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piss-stained-jorts · 9 months ago

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"if you point a gun at a nihilist's head, they'll beg for their life, proving it has meaning." haha yeah man cool. so like while you go to the gun store to buy the bullets I'll stay here with them. nooooo haha i'm not gonna sneak out the door with them in toe and go feed the ducks. you can totally trust me to stay here so you can Own Them and Prove Your Point lol i won't take their hand gently and let them say the darkest thoughts kept away in their heart as we look at a sunset together and contemplate why it doesn't seem to make us as happy as it makes other people. yeah we'll be here waiting while you load the gun bro we aren't planning on spilling our hearts to each other on the soft green grass as the clouds roll by. yes the gun is what will prove life has meaning that's how we will go about it and not warm grilled cheese sandwiches over coffee at a coffee shop. dude you're so wicked smart man no no don't worry about the sound of laughter in the garden

#random thoughts #i've never liked the concept of using Tough Love as a means to FORCE someone to appreciate life #tough love is just how you avoid being vulnerable as you try to do the vulnerable act of loving someone #i realized i wanted to live when my brother gave me permission to die #he didnt hold the gun to my forehead he put it in my hands and told me he loved me in the words he wanted to hear when HE wanted to die #(but in non-metaphor speak the gun was actually somewhere in dad's room and we were in the kitchen)#(he gave me my freedom and held no power or sense of smugness over me. he was willing to let me go)#(no one has ever loved me in the exact same fashion as him. i owe him so much)#(he's the only one who has ever heard my lamenting life and being alive and told me i didn't have to do it anymore. that i had a choice)#(he didnt tell me how wrong my way of thinking was or how i needed to change. he took me as i was and just....let me be)#(even if it meant losing me. because he knew the pain i felt and was willing to bear it himself if it meant i could be free)#(my brother loves in a way that i hope to be worthy of eventually)#(it's kind of funny. my dad always tells me if he could take my pain and bear it himself he would)#(but calls suicide a selfish thing. my brother has never made me such a promise and yet he lived that promise out right in front of me)#(anyway that was back in like 2017 or 2016. i've slowly come to see life as worth living ever since)

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maxverstappendefender · 2 months ago

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ain't no love in oklahoma // op81 smau

description: twisters actress!reader x op81 but lando is convinced oscar is lying (from request)

a/n: sorry for being completely inactive. life happened and it didn't happen in a good way! i have a huge exam coming up soon so i will most likely still be inactive besides maybe a few short things here and there. anyways first oscar fic so enjoy! all pics found on pinterest, i don't own any

a/n pt2: might do something fun for each day in october but im not sure what so send me some ideas. also might do some more headcannons/blurbs soon here!

requests: closed but feel free to send me some messages since i love talking to you guys

masterlist

liked by oscarpiastri, glenpowell, and 2,927,641 others

youruser: go see twisters!! if you don’t, you suck and you better hope you don’t get stuck in a tornado because there’s useful information in our movie

tagged: glenpowell

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oscarpiastri: proud of you!!

↳ youruser: 🧡

glenpowell: caption is so real of you

user1: doesn’t yn have a boyfriend? why is she so close to glen?

↳ user2: yes but probably because there’s limited space. yn isn’t like that

↳ oscarpiastri: exactly what user2 said

landonorris: cute!

↳ user3: what are you doing here??

↳ user4: lando in the comments?

user5: such a good movie

user6: yn + glen = power duo

liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,951,750 others

oscarpiastri: proud boyfriend award goes to me 🏆 thx for all the bts selfies

tagged: youruser, glenpowell

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landonorris: i just laughed out loud

landonorris: “boyfriend” lmaooo

↳ user7: i cant tell if he’s joking or serious

user8: cutest couple ever

glenpowell: aww so glad you remembered the time you took me to the aquarium, what a romantic!

↳ youruser: get your own boyfriend capybara

↳ user9: yn CLOCKED him

// lando’s phone//

//

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 4,027,835 others

landonorris: POLE BABYYYY!!! everyone ignore my teammates instagram posts, i have told him to stop. i think he took a hit to the head or something

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oscarpiastri: do you want to go to the farm or not?

↳ landonorris: you already said i could go so no take backs

↳ user10: lando is going to yn's farm??

↳ user11: LANDO'S MEETING YN?!

↳ user12: oh i know he's going to fangirl so hard

user13: get me someone who looks at me the way oscar looks at lando

↳ user14: are we sure that they aren't the ones dating?

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 3,017,426 others

youruser: back home finally! pic 1: yeehaw. pic 2: my cat cora had her babies!!! pic 3: dinner date :)

tagged: oscarpiastri

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user15: CORA HAD HER KITTIES

↳ youruser: i am officially a grandma. i feel the gray hairs coming in now

user16: oscar and yn are endgame

oscarpiastri: the best company

↳ landonorris: STOP, idk how you got her in on this joke either

↳ user16: i can't tell if lando knows they are actually dating and is joking or if he truly does not believe oscar

user17: boyfriend is back on the feed!

↳ user18: farmer yn is back on the feed!

glenpowell: miss you lady

↳ youruser: you miss my animals more

↳ glenpowell: and what about it.

liked by youruser, oscarpiastri, and 4,209,384 others

landonorris: OMG HE WASN'T LYING i got to feed so many animals, got to channel my inner cowboy, AND get drunk with the yn? i can die a happy man

tagged: youruser

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oscarpiastri: believe me now?

↳ landonorris: never doubted you

↳ user19: lando seriously didn't believe oscar lol

↳ user20: i fully thought he was joking the entire time

user21: how hard did you fangirl to meet yn, lando?

↳ landonorris: surprised i didn't pass out honestly. i facetimed GLEN POWELL

youruser: so glad you had a fun time!!

liked by youruser, landonorris, and 3,298,361 others

oscarpiastri: everyone clear that this is my girlfriend?

tagged: youruser

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user22: sassy oscar

↳ user23: channeling his inner lando

landonorris: yes sir 🫡

↳ oscarpiastri: stop being weird ?

youruser: MY MANNNNN

↳ user24: oh she's in deep

user25: there is one thing oscar doesn't play about in life: yn

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 4,208,763 others

youruser: didn't even know there was confusion that this was my boyfriend lol

tagged: oscarpiastri

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landonorris: how was i meant to know?!

↳ user26: literally how everyone else knew, instagram.

glenpowell: yn stop posting pics of me and my boyfriend and acting like he's yours

↳ youruser: i dont like this joke.

↳ oscarpiastri: bromance or whatever

↳ user27: they're in a throuple

↳ youruser: ew

↳ glenpowell: disgusting

↳ oscarpiastri: huhhh

user28: couple goals forever and ever

user29: if they don't get married... love isn't real

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jennaflare · 4 months ago

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So Disco Elysium is the only game you've ever really liked

I get it! It's a phenomenal game with superb art and writing, and its themes are consistent and deeply explored. It sets a high bar for video games. But there are other really, really fantastic games out there. This is a list that is 100% my own taste of things that aren't necessarily similar, other than the fact that they're really fucking good. (A lot of these are on sale for the Steam Summer Sale until July 11 2024!)

In Stars and Time

In Stars and Time is a time loop game where you play as Siffrin, the rogue of a party at the end of their quest to save the day by defeating the King, who is freezing everybody in time! But something is wrong: every time you die, you loop back to the day before you fight the King. You're the only one who remembers the loops, so it's up to you to figure out why it's happening, and how to break out.

In Stars and Time is a heart-wrenching dive into mental health, friendship, and love. It's about feeling alone, and how awful it is when the people who love you don't notice (and how awful it is when they do). It's about falling deeper and deeper into your worst self and your worst tendencies, and how to come back from it.

The creator also did one of my favorite Disco Elysium comics ever, which is only tangentially relevant but worth mentioning.

Roadwarden

In Roadwarden, you play as the titular Roadwarden for an undeveloped and "wild" part of the kingdom. Monsters roam the forests and roads, and it's your job to keep people safe. On paper, anyway. Your real mission is to find out what is of value in the area, and how to take it from its people. How well you perform this task is up to you. It's an oldschool text-based RPG, and I take a lot of notes by hand when I play.

Roadwarden explores exploitation and industrialization by making you look in the face of your potential victims. You can only learn what your bosses want you to report on by getting close to the residents, after all. There are mysteries to be solved, secrets to be gathered, and hearts to win.

The Longing

The Longing is an adventure-idle game where you play as the solitary servant of a sleeping king. Your task is to wait for him, for four hundred days. Time in the game passes in realtime (for the most part). There are caves to explore, books to be read, and drawings to make.

The Longing is about loneliness and depression. It's about whether or not you decide to stay in that hole, and if you do, what you do with yourself while you're there. Maybe you'll wander. Maybe you'll stare at a wall. Maybe you'll just sleep until it's all over.

Papers, Please

Papers, Please casts you as a newly hired customs officer in a country that is rapidly tightening its borders as its fascist government tightens its fist. This game is stressful. Sometimes you intend to help out the revolutionaries when they asked, but then you got so stressed out trying to make your quota so you can feed your family and pay your bills that you didn't notice the name of the person they were hoping to contact while going through their papers. Sometimes someone puts a bomb in front of you and expects you to defuse it. Sometimes someone suggests you steal people's passports so you can get your family out, and with the horror you see daily, the idea tempts you more than you'd like.

Papers, Please is all about hard choices and testing your moral fortitude. Everything you do has consequences. Being a good person in this game is hardly ever rewarded, but not in a way that feels overly cynical. Papers, Please asks you what kind of person you want to be and what you're willing to sacrifice to get there.

The Return of the Obra Dinn

From the creator of Papers, Please, The Return of the Obra Dinn is a game where you play as an insurance investigator for the East India Trading Company. The ship the Obra Dinn has just floated back into port, its entire crew missing or dead. It's your job to figure out what happened aboard the vessel. For insurance reasons.

I don't know how to go into the themes of this too deeply without giving away too much, but the mechanics of the game itself make the game worth playing. You have a magic stopwatch that allows you to go back to the moment of a person's death, allowing you to try and figure out who (or what) killed them, and how. And the soundtrack is extremely good.

Outer Wilds

In Outer Wilds you play as an unnamed alien, and it's your first day going to space! Your planet's space program is pretty new still, so there's still lots to explore and discover on the planets within your system. There are ancient ruins from a mysterious race that once lived in your system, long before your species began to record history. Why were they here? Where did they go? How are they connected to the weird thing that keeps happening to you?

The fun of Outer Wilds is in the discovery and answering your own questions. The game never tells you where to go, and it never outright tells you anything. There are clues scattered through the system, and it's up to you to put them together and figure out your next steps. It's about the way that life always goes on, no matter what, even when it seems like the end of everything, forever. I'd recommend NOT reading anything else about this game. Just go play it. Seriously, the less you know, the more fun this is.

If on a Winter's Night, Four Travelers

In If on a Winter's Night, Four Travelers, you explore the circumstances of the deaths of four individuals.

This is a short one that took me about two and a half hours to play. If for no other reason, play it for the stunning pixel art. The game explores sexism, racism, and homophobia in the Victorian era and leans heavily into horror themes. Best of all: it's completely free!

Pentiment

Pentiment takes you to the 16th century, where you take the role of Andreas Maler, a journeyman artist working on his masterwork in the scriptorium of an abbey. When someone is murdered, Andreas takes responsibility for finding the culprit.

The game is set over 20~ years and you get to watch how Andreas' actions affect the village in various ways (who's alive the next time you come by, have people gotten married and had children...). It's an exploration of how the past affects the future, and what parts of that past we choose to keep or discard. It has beautiful art, and fans of both Disco and Pentiment often compare them.

Other games you might wanna check out

Night in the Woods, Dredge, Oxenfree, A House of Many Doors, Inscryption, Slay the Princess, Citizen Sleeper, Chants of Sennar, Loop Hero, The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, The Pale Beyond, Where the Water Tastes Like Wine, Elsinore, Her Story, Before Your Eyes, Pathologic (not delved into above because the venn diagram of Pathologic fans and Disco fans is basically a circle)

#disco elysium #pentiment #outer wilds #in stars and time #roadwarden #if on a winters night four travelers #papers please #the return of the obra dinn #the longing #video games #hoping so badly there are no glaring errors in this #made this because i have spoken to many people who Dont Play video games but liked disco

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rhosgobelbun · 5 months ago

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steve's been knocking on doors trying to find eddie. he would be annoyed that all he's found are couples and groups in states of undress but this is some random house party, so it's what steve expects.

plus he's too relieved that he hasn't walked in on eddie being a part of any of it.

steve knows it's gross to feel this way. he trusts eddie 100%. it's not right to let past relationship problems cloud his judgement when it comes to what he has with eddie - who hasn't given him any reason to doubt.

but eddie is so new. been together for only 2 months now new.

and tommy was so old. childhood friend/fucked up situationship for 10 long years old. just ended for good a year and a half ago old.

so even though he knows, hopes, prays, that it's ridiculous to compare the two together, steve still checks the bathroom and makes sure the man on his knees in front of some blonde cheerleader isn't his boyfriend.

and then promptly ducks down to avoid a brush the blonde cheerleader throws at him.

'sorry!' steve apologizes. he hurries to slam the door closed and makes his way to the very last room at the end of the hallway.

maybe he left? eddie didn't want to serve here anyway, rich druggie clientele be damned. so even though they came together, maybe eddie had an emergency and-

steve cuts that thought off because well. he found eddie.

'baby!!' his boyfriend exclaims, alone, sitting on the floor in the middle of some random strangers room with a jar of peanut butter. he's got a spoon full of it half way up to his mouth and his eyes are red.

at least 4 brownies deep red.

the wave of relief he feels is actually pretty concerning, but steve will think about that some other time since he's too busy trying not to laugh at how ridiculous the long haird idiot looks.

'eddie, what are you doing?'

eddie looks guilty and for a split second steve thinks maybe he did walk in on eddie with someone else. (maybe he's waiting on them? maybe they already left?)

then eddie holds up the jar of peanut butter and says in the saddest voice, 'i needed it stevie, i don't remember how long it's been since i've had peanut butter. but i didn't think you'd find me! stay back! don't you come any closer!'

so this whole time while steve's been worried that eddie was off doing what tommy used to do to make him jealous, eddie just snuck off and hid away to eat peanut butter because steves' allergic.

starting to snicker, steve goes to sit across from him. 'i can be around it babe, im not gonna die.'

eddie rushes to close the jar, spoon shoved inside and all. he gives steve the stink eye. 'i know what peanut allergies can do to some people. i refuse to watch you blow up like a tomato.'

steve rolls his eyes and reaches out, acting like he's gonna touch the jar.

eddie yells. jumping to his feet, he scurries out of the closet like an over grown rat, 'steve harrington this is exactly why I was trying to eat this away from you!'

steves laughing now, giggling like a hyena. he can't believe he ever doubted this man.

later that night - after eddie has showered and brushed his teeth at least three times - when they're tucked away in eddies room under the covers, steve talks to him about his freak out. eddie apologizes for leaving him alone at a strangers party like that. he holds him close, gives steve a ton of kisses and promises to create a DND character that represents tommy.

'i'll turn him into a toad and kill him off in the most gruesome way imaginable. he'll be murdered to death, the kids will be traumatized. it'll be great. just you wait and see, my love.'

#steddie #stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #🐚#my stuff #idk how dnd works

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