#liz informs you
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LET ME IN NOOOOOOW
AND IT CAN BE NIIIICE
MAKE ME LEAVE NOOOOOOW
AND I HAVE TO COME BACK NOT ONCE
NOT TWIIIIICE
BUT AS MANY TIMES AS I LIIIIIIIIKE
#liz informs you#heâs so babygirl iâm kinda obsessed#longlegs#longlegs (2024)#dale cobble#dale kobble
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so many three-quarters of one moon ago, @asexualbookbird tagged me to do the "random things in your room" poll, and i have FINALLY gotten my ducks linear enough to participate! therefore, without further ado:
tagging: @alloreli, @six-of-ravens, @e-b-reads, and anyone else who wants to play!!
#text#poll#personal#objects in my room#objects in my room poll#liz i know you were tagged already but i am Reminding You lmao#also pyr0clast idk if you wanna play or not so i didn't officially tag you but CONSIDER YOURSELF TAGGED IF YOU'RE INTERESTED!!!!!#(or not no pressure lol)#i had a lot of fun putting this list together actually i tried to pick Representatives but not Duplicates#turns out i have several cool lightsources in my room actually#and several cool arts :)#and things my friends have made me :)#polls#and wow yeah i have five whiteboards and a magnet board plus the closet so...#Many Surfaces#happy to provide clarification/additional information/photos upon request#I Just Think They're Neat.jpeg
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I am once again begging readers to do the bare minimum and peruse an author's profile for a FAQ, information on requests, who they write for, etc. before sending in asks/requests.
#liz speaks#this did not happen to me#this time#but it does happen to me#and it happens to people all the time#i guarantee you the people who write on here have some sort of cursory information about their writing#you can find everything you need to know on my navigation aka my pinned post#most people also have a section on their masterlist#please please please read the information authors put out on here#i'm not trying to be a bitch but it gets irritating when i have to say the same thing over and over and over again
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we have been sleeping on the possibility that if liz is vicki's mom dick garner is her dad. roger is just the red herring. vicki's gothic, wretched, incestuous boyfriend the whole time is FRANK âźď¸âźď¸
#it's been staring us in the face the whole time. it's in the name. DICK GARNER. in BANGOR.#of course! how could i be so stupid!#he's in on it. immediately phones liz when vicki starts asking questions about her parentage and helps cover it up.#the money comes from where? bangor. the math is mathing.#and frank promised her he'd help her dig through the records to find out who her parents are. and what came of that?#we heard nothing more about it. evidently came upon some information he did not care for.#it's always the boring white bread law school perry mason rejects you don't expect to actually be your half brother that wants to marry you#⤠ooc. â sheâs nauseousďźsheâs hystericalďźand exhausted.#i am of course joking but this is the one and only thing that would make her relationship with frank even mildly interesting
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wanting to bitch about confusing road laws vs none of your friends drive or will understand = bitching on tumblr.
green lights at four-way intersections should always be accompanied by a yellow left turn arrow as a reminder to yield to oncoming traffic. this is the biggest problem facing our country right now. i am objectively correct.
#liz blogs#the literal only two things i struggle with are at FUCKING intersections#brain problem of 'i know information in theory just not in practice'#this is why we need public transit i am going to get killed and its going to be at an intersection <3#'oh i am making a left turn and the light is green! better go left!' you foole. you fucking idiot. you utter imbecile.#THERE IS STILL ONCOMING TRAFFIC#BECAUSE FUCK YOU IF YOU TURN LEFT IG#GREEN MEANS GO............... GREEN MEANS GO DO NOT ADD EXTRA ~ * ~ SECRET STEPS ~ * ~#'you can make a right turn on red unless otherwise marked' idk maybe a green right arrow sHOULD COME UP THEN#DON'T MAKE ME ASSUME THINGS WHEN I DRIVE JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO#FUCK THIS GAY ASS COUNTRY* (* im gay)#if i saw a yellow arrow for the left lane i would remember to CHECK FOR TRAFFIC#i like driving until Intersections then i want everyone to explode except me so i can drive how driving should work#and thats enough to make me Not want to drive Period#I AM GOING TO MOVE SOMEWHERE SO FUCKING WALKABLE JUST YOU WATCH ME#I AM GOING TO PETITION THE GOVERNMENT (i am not going to petition the government)#im so mad im so good at driving until Bullshit ass Nondescript Intersection Lights#(ăಠçಠ)ă彥âťââť (ăಠçಠ)ă彥âťââť (ăಠçಠ)ă彥âťââť KILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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reasons why i should or why i should not watch succession.. reaaaadyyyy? GO!
#LOOKING AT YOU ESPECIALLY AFTER#also someone explain to my why i thought mother queen goddess liz gilles spit in my mouth pls what- was in this show?????#i have no excuse now LMAO#WHERE DID I GET THIS INFORMATION?? LMAO#WHO LIED TO ME
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People with the inability to form opinions about the media they consume and just go with the content face value piss me off. Wtf dym that you agree with everything the show is saying? ITS SAYING BAD THINGS LIKE OBJECTIVELY BAD AND UR IGNORING IT BECAUSE YOU ACCEPT EVERYTHING IT SAYS FACE VALUE!
#Iâm gonna have a fight with someone istg#thereâs this person who whenever spectacular Spider-Man is brought up refuses to hear anything#about the show that goes against the information it wants you to think#like they say Gwenâs the best and Liz is evil#wonât ankowglage the fact that it has flaws#or understand it was hinting twards things before it got canceled#AND HATES EVERYONE EVIL BECAUSE LIKING THE VILLAINS IS BAD AND THEY ARE APPARENTLY#UNREDEEMABLE#god please get the ability to THINK FOR YOURSELF
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when reeve carney left, they did do an alternate ending during the curtain call! he and eva got to walk up the stairs and out of hadestown together
of course they did
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gatsby is just as unattainable to nick as daisy is to gatsby. nick has explored gatsbyâs body and learned all his secrets more times than they are stars in the sky but only in his mind.
#iâve just been thinking#liz informs you#the great gatsby#nick carraway#jay gatsby#natsby#bookpostin
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So fall semester started today. Now I get to enjoy the first couple of weeks where the new master degree students learn how to not âreply allâ to every single message they are sent by our professors.
#like itâs always the master degree students#and itâs the silliest replies#like âthank you professor xyz for the information#and the informations is litterally just hey guys read the syllabus#anyways#Iâm taking five classes this semester#letâs see how much I hate myself by the end of it#school#Liz talks
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I love being blindsided at work đđđ
#Liz speaks#Lizâs personal tag#Iâm not the one that RSVPed to these events#yall did that on my behalf remember?#why were YOU all not keeping track of the conflicts on my calendar? I told you several times about them#you told me to forward all emails on to you and thatâs what I did#I donât RSVP to shit until I have all the information I need#because Iâm a great planner. Yâall were just micromanaging and now youâre mad because it backfired on you#so fucking annoyed rn#anyway here's wonderwall
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falling (n. rk)
synopsis : tonight, it was only you and ni-ki. genre : romance, fluff, ni-ki is so sweet it's insane brah pairing : ni-ki x reader (ft ive) w/c : 3.6k a/n : heeyyy guys. haven't written in a while so i wanted to take the time to make something so my account doesn't completely die yet LOL. been getting into chase atlantic and falling has been on replay, so i just had to write something inspired by it. not proofread cos i rushed this since i still need to do schoolwork, but hope ya'll enjoy this~ + the coloured text keeps glitching so pls ignore it LOL
now playing : falling - chase atlantic paradise - chase atlantic
ââââââââââââ
"All done!" a voice informed you, the sensations you felt on your face disappearing as you opened your eyes to see your friends, smiling at you. The one directly in front of you was holding a make-up brush, on the table beside her were multiple make-up products, a few from Clio, Flower Knows, Dasique and other brands. You looked around the room to see your friends looking astonished staring at you, loud squeals filling up the room after a few seconds.
"Babesâ" your friend, Wonyoung, who was doing your make-up, put down the make-up brush she was holding, taking your hand with both of hers and flashing you such a gleeful countenance. You were worried about what she was gunna say, did you look bad? "You look drop-dead gorgeous."
Upon hearing her compliment, warmth filled your heart and a shy smile filled your face, making you look away as you felt flattered. A different voice behind Wonyoung added on, "You literally look so fucking hot". You shot your head up and realised it was Yujin talking, her raising her eyebrows and smirking at you.
"Oh stop," you giggled, curling your wrist at her and playfully rolling your eyes. Yujin spoke again, "You're literally gunna be prom queen".
Liz, who was sitting beside Yujin, added on, "Ni-ki's gunna love this, he's so lucky". Upon Ni-ki's name falling onto your ears, you slightly jumped, heart skipping a beat as you realise that he was going to see you like this. He was going to see you all dressed up and pretty, and you were nervous as to what he was going to think.
"No way.." you brushed Liz away, taking the pocket mirror that was resting on the table along with the rest of the make-up to see how you looked like, because no way you looked that good, right? But oh. My. God.
You were gorgeous. Your lips were a pretty shade that matched you perfectly, your base looked absolutely flawless, eyelashes looking so long and lustrious, contour making your features seem sharper, your eyeliner was on fleak, and a hint of blush on your cheeks adding cuteness to your whole look. You felt so confident for the first time in your life. "Holy crap, how did you do this.." you quickly turned to Wonyoung, features of confusion and shock filling your face as you stared into Wonyoung who was now proudly smiling.
Wonyoung shrugged and gave a smug look, "I have my ways, you're welcome babes". She caressed your hand and looked at you with such loving eyes. You couldn't explain how thrilled you were, to be able to show Ni-ki your prom dress, your make-up look, and your hair that was nicely curled up and styled by Rei before the make-up.
"Are you guys sure he'll like it?" you nervously questioned, unsure as to whether Ni-ki will love this sight of you.
Your friends groaned and even rolled their eyes, retorting back in unision, "He'll love it!". You jumped at how united they were to nag at you, and if you said you weren't happy, you'd be lying. You giggled and covered your mouth, feeling so appreciated.
You were packing your belongings into your handbag that nicely complemented your sparkly black dress, and as you were about to pack your phone inside, you received a notification causing your phone to buzz and turn on. You swiftly checked your phone for the alert, and felt as your heart melt when you received a text from the one person you wanted it to be from.
ni-ki my love âËࡠ: bet you look so pretty rn ni-ki my love âËࡠ: i can't wait to see you gorgeous :)
Your heart rate picked up the pace as you shyly smiled at your phone screen, increasingly getting excited to see him. You knew he was going to be dressed up in the suit that you loved so much. You couldn't wait to be able to see how handsome he looked in person, and at the same time you hope that he would feel the same way.
y/n! : me too y/n! : i love you :)
You giggled to yourself before you heard a voice from outside the room, "Y/N, time to go!". Your eyes shot up to the door before you responded, "Okay, I'm coming!". You shoved your phone into your handbag and zipped it up, putting on your heels before walking out of the room to be met by your friends. "Let's go!" you cheered out.
You were nervously walking inside the ballroom after you and your group of friends had checked in at the reception centre. You looked around at your surroundings to realise that everything looked so luxurious, you probably haved walked past 6 chandelier's by now, the roof being higher than you expected, the white cloth that covered the chairs and tables being a high-quality polyester, and you realise that there were a hoard of people that filled the room at every corner. You kept looking for one person, walking at all directions. By now you've already walked away from your friends, alone as you desperately tried to find Ni-ki.
Scanning the crowd, you finally spotted him. Holy fuck, he was so handsome. He was in the black suit that he usually wore for special occassions, but it will always catch you off guard. The suit easily portrayed his well-built figure, his shoulders looking broad. His hair was nicely slicked back with gel with a few strands resting on his forehead. He was breathtaking.
Without even realising, your legs started moving towards him, bumping into multiple people but your eyes remaining locked onto him.
"Ni-ki." you called once you were near him. "Yes-?" he turned around to the direction of your voice before he stared at you, his jaw dropped. He looked at you up and down, his eyes meeting yours and looking completely astonished.
"Fuck Y/N.." was all he could say after he saw you. He let out an amused scoff before continuing, "You look so fucking gorgeous, baby.". A blush crept up your cheeks, and he held his hand up that was holding a bouquet, "Some flowers for the prettiest girl here". You took the bouquet into your hands, leaning forward to peck a kiss on his cheek before you muttered out, "Thanks, love". He continued to stare at you, realising he was such in a lovedaze. He quickly wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you closer and pressing you against his body before placing his lips on yours. It caught you off-guard, but you slowly closed your eyes as you melted into the kiss, your free-hand resting on his chest.
His movement was slow, steadily tilting his head to be able to gain more access. The rush of adrenaline that pumped through your veins made you feel so alive, your heart now rapidly beating. You couldn't care about the loud conversions around you, or the loud music. At this point of time, it was just you and Ni-ki. His hands travelled up to your face, cupping your head as he brought your face closer. You felt so lost in his lips, cherishing the intimacy between you and him. As you slowly started to feel breathless, you lightly pushed his chest and pulled away, panting as you both looked into each other's eyes with such an intense gaze while resting your forehead on his.
"I feel like the luckiest man on earth, you're literally perfect." He complimented, and you felt the same way. You felt like you won the lottery knowing that THE Ni-ki was your boyfriend. You chuckled as you closed your eyes, your free arm slowly making it's way up to wrap his neck. Before you knew it, loud voices started cheering, making you open your eyes and lean back to see what the commotion was about. There were 2 figures now on stage, Gaeul and Leeseo, that was all the way at the front of the ballroom, holding mic's as they loudly cheered, "Let's get prom started!".
Loud cheers filled the room, and you chuckled, looking back at Ni-ki to see that he was still checking you out, looking at you with such loving eyes. "Stop looking at me like that.." you teased, chuckling at him.
He shot back, "How could I not when you look like this?". You playfully smacked his chest, before taking his wrist into your hand.
"Let's go to our table, the rest should be waiting for us." you said. He looked reluctant, but he didn't want to turn you down, so he nodded and you happily led him to the tables.
You walked around the ballroom, checking the stand numbers on the table, looking out for the number that you and your friends have booked together. You finally spotted the table, and you called out, "There's our table!".
However, before you could pull him towards the table, he pulled you back and you turned around to face him, confused on why he wasn't following you. When you both made eye contact, he softly asked, "Can we get out of here?".
Your eyes widen as you tilt your head at him, confused as to why he would want to skip prom when he had been looking forward to it for the longest time. You questioned him, "Why..?".
He gave you a warm smile, before leaning in, his warm breath now hitting your ears, "I wanna have you to myself for the whole night". Your heart skipped a beat as you rapidly blink your eyes, trying to remain your composure. You slowly tilted back to look at the table where all of your friends were, then slowly back at Ni-ki. Your hand that was on his wrist slowly went down to his hands, interlocking it before you gave him a smile of approval, nodding and quickly answering, "Of course, honey".
He mischeviously chuckled before he ran towards the exit, pulling you with him and you laugh too, enjoying the moment you were having with him. You passed by many people, who had glanced at the both of you, confused to why you both were leaving prom when it barely started, but you both couldn't care less. You both laughed as loud as possible, dashing past all the luxurious furniture and the chandelier's that were above the both of you. He pushed the tall doors open before leading you to the outside of the building, the sky being a pitch black and the chill air immediately making you shiver. He instantly noticed and quickly let go of your hand to remove his blazer, wrapping it around you.
"T-thank you," you nervously spoke out, giving him a soft smile.
"Anytime baby." he grinned. He took your hand again, interlocking it before walking, swinging your interlocked hands up and down. You enjoyed being with him, but realising that you were leaving prom, you had no idea what you two were going to do now.
"Ni-ki, where are we going now?" you questioned.
He playfully looked back and smirked, "I don't know, let's just see where our feet takes us."
Tonight, the world only consisted of you and Ni-ki.
Next thing you knew, you were at a bowling alley with Ni-ki. The bowling shoe that the alley provided felt so much better on your feet, and you both constantly kept laughing at each other. Considering that it was night time, there was now a lot of people, but once again, you both couldn't care less. You cheered at all the strike's that Ni-ki managed to get, and he teased you everytime you got a gutter.
When you were getting annoyed at the fact you were having a gutter streak, he stood up, walking behind you as he held your arm and waist, guiding you through the momentum. The way that your bodies were so closed made you feel so flustered, and after he taught you, you quickly picked up a ball and threw it the same way he taught you, scoring your first strike. As soon as all the pins fell down, you looked back at Ni-ki who was sitting down behind you, smiling and cheering. He cheered as loudly as you, congratulating you and running towards you to give you a hug.
Now, you two were at a Billiards to play pool. You watched as the few strands of hair fell over his eyes as he leaned down to find the correct angle to hit the white ball. You looked at him with such loving eyes, and once he hit the white ball in, one solid ball went in, and he immediately looked up at you and smirked.
"We already know who's going to win" he teased, and you playfully rolled your eyes, gripping the pool stick you were holding onto tighter.
"Sure.. sure.." you replied sarcastically.
Spoiler alert : You won because you were too good, and Ni-ki helped you out. Mainly the latter.
You two were walking on an empty street, the streetlights only being the source of light when your feet started to hurt from your heels. You tried to hide it but the way you were limping practically gave it away. Ni-ki halted to a stop, making you stop as well. "Stop here," he ordered. Your eyebrows raised at him, worried that he realised that you were hurting, "W-why?".
"You're limping. Your heels hurt, don't they?" he asked. You tried to deny, "It's okay! It doesn't hurt that muchâ" "Sit down there, now." he said, pointing to the bench that was an arm's length away.
You sigh as he guided you to the chair, resting yourself on it. You placed the bouquet he had gifted you earlier and was about to remove the heels by yourself, when he stopped you.
"Stop, I'll do it." he said, kneeling down in front of you to remove your heels. He was gentle with your feet, knowing that it was probably sore from walking around with heels for the entire night. You watched as he treated you with such gentleness, and your hand made it's way to his head, caressing his hair and patting him. He didn't say anything, but you noticed a curl at the corners at his mouth, making you grin.
After he had removed your heels, he stood up and started to remove his own shoes when he got stopped by you, "Wait what? What shoes are you going to wear then?!". You were concerned for him, not wanting him to walk around barefoot.
He chuckled, successfully removing his shoes and responding, "It's okay, I have socks on anyways". You tried to fight against the idea of him walking around with only socks but he kneeled down and gently inserted your feet into his shoes, which were significantly more comfortable than your heels.
You felt guilty that you were being a burden on him, but he stood back up, now face-to-face with you before he spoke out, "The prettiest girl in the world deserves to be comfortable at all time, okay? Now let's go." He held out his hand, the other hand holding your heels and you took his hand, using your other hand to pick up the bouquet.
Next thing you know, you both were at a karaoke studio. Considering it was now super late, there were many rooms that were available so you both could easily book a room. You both enterred the room, noticing the mini disco lights lighting up the dim room. You sat yourself on the couch as you watched Ni-ki close the door behind him and sit himself beside you.
"Any song in mind?" you asked him. "I have one." he responded, before he gently placed down your heels on the area beside him and picking up the machine that allowed him to pick songs and control the song queue. You patiently waited and hummed, thinking about what songs you two could sing when a song started playing, breaking your train of thoughts. You looked at the screen, and the song title was nicely displayed on the screen.
Falling - Chase Atlantic
He picked up the microphone that was nicely set on the table and stood up, walking over to the opposite side of you and started singing,
"Pour another bottle to the floor, love.
he raised his eyebrows at you and gave you a soft smile.
Pushin' for it, oh you know I want some.'Cause everything you do is screaming says it's 'more drugs'.It's kinda sad, but it's awesome."
He shook his body on beat, preparing to sing the pre-chorus.
"Oh, we've lost it. Screeching off with no name, she said 'watch this'. With her hands in the rain, call it conflict, as you should. And you ain't gunna stop this, stop this.
He quickly cleared his throat, preparing for the upcoming chorus. He wanted to sing it to you. This song was only for you, dedicated to you.
And you keep on falling baby, figure it out. Drive slow, straightforward or I'm walking around. And your dad keeps caling, tell him, 'Cut that shit out'. Just keep steering, keep steering, now."
You gazed at him affectionately, you felt like you could explode right now from the way your entire face was red and your heart was beating so fast. You stood up and ran up to him, bringing him to an embrace and connecting your lips with his.
You checked your phone, and it was almost 1a.m. You had multiple missed calls and messages asking where you were from your friends, but you were too carried away to worry about them. Right now, you were at a photobooth with Ni-ki that was conveniently placed beside a convenience store. You sat beside him, not knowing what poses to do. He inserted the cash into the machine, and the screen instantly displayed a countdown, indicating it was time to take photos. You quickly panicked and looked at Ni-ki not knowing what to do. He chuckled before he wrapped his arm around your neck and pulled you closer.
First photo, he was wrapping his arm around you and kissing your cheek. You had a shocked expression on your face.
Second photo, you both were folding your arms, back-to-back as you both had cool and mischevious expressions on your face.
Third photo, you two were holding up finger guns to the camera and biting your lips.
The last photo.. You two were kissing, his hands cupping your face and your arms wrapping around his neck.
After the photobooth, there was suddenly awkwardness between the both of you. You always kissed him, but something about that kiss in the photobooth made your heart race more. You cleared your throat, trying to break the silence. You looked at him and realised he was staring at you, and you chuckle, "You're literally going to stare a hole into me".
He grinned, before taking your hand into his. "It's getting late, I'll bring you back to the dorms, yeah?". You nodded at him, and he pulled out his phone to call a taxi driver.
When you were in the taxi, you rested your head on his shoulder, his thumb caressing your hand and his other hand gently squishing your thigh. You felt sleepy, and he softly sang a lullaby, his deep voice making you feel more at ease. You closed your eyes, and allowed yourself to sleep.
Once you woke up, you quickly looked around to see if you were still in the taxi, but no. You were already nicely laid down on your bed, and the first thing you wanted to find was Ni-ki. As soon as you were about to get up, your bedroom door opened and it was Ni-ki. He was shirtless, and his pants already changed into the clothing he had left the last time he came over. He noticed your awake figure, and chuckled, slowly making his way to you.
"You're awake?"
You mentally cursed at yourself. You initially planned to sleep only until the taxi has reached your destination, and not burden Ni-ki to carry you all the way home, "I'm so sorry..". You ruffled your hair and groaned, feeling guilty.
"For what?" he sat beside you on the mattress, looking at you.
"I didn't mean to be a burden, I mean, wasn't it hard to bring me homâ" "Not at all. Don't worry about it, okay?" he tucked a hair behind your eyes and smiled.
You nervously spoke up, "And won't your mom kill you if you stay the night?". He raised his eyebrows, "She knows it's you, it's okay baby, don't worry about it."
You furrowed your eyebrows, "Are you sure? I don't want to give you anymore trouble..".
He embraced you and brought you down the bed, hugging you tightly. "Why would you be giving me any trouble?", he asked.
You hesitated, thinking of an answer but he continued, "I don't find you a burden at all, baby."
You remained quiet, ruffling your head into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist.
"You're the best thing that has happened to me, okay? So don't ever call yourself a burden." he reassured, playing with your hair and patting your back.
You felt so lucky that this boy was your boyfriend. This boy was like the lottery, and you can't believe that you won him, you couldn't believe he felt the same as you.
"Ni-ki." "Yes, love?" "You know I love you so much, right?" you looked up at him, and he looked back down at you, a smile evident on his face. "I love you so much too." he responded, leaning closer to place his lips on yours.
#enhypen#enha#enha fics#enha x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen drabbles#enha fluff#enha imagines#engene#enha niki#enhypen niki#niki#niki x reader#niki nishimura#enhypen riki#nishimura riki#riki x reader#ni ki#enhypen nishimura riki#enha nishimura riki#riki nishimura x reader#enhypen riki x reader#nishimura niki x reader#nishimura riki x reader#nishimura riki x you#niki enhypen#riki enhypen#niki x y/n#niki x you
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Hi Liz! Iâve just read your poly!marauders pregnancy fic and I love it! Your reading is stunning!
Iâm here with a special request⌠I was wondering if you could write a poly!marauders x fem!reader where reader is acting weird and distant and the boys are worried and at the end she was hiding a huge secret, a pregnancy. She was scared they wouldnât want a baby but they all ended up really happy about it? Just some slight angst with happy ending. â¤ď¸
a/n: hi anon! i did put a little bit of my own twist to this, hope that's okay!
Poly!Marauders x Pregnant!Reader
It had only been two days. In fact, it was only the beginning of the second day.Â
One full day and some hours since you found out you were pregnant.
One full day and some hours since you started ignoring your boys.
What else were you to do? It was a complete surprise. You'd never even discussed having a baby together, let alone if they even want children.
After taking your pregnancy test, you bolted out of your shared flat with no explanation, driving yourself to the beach so you could have a long cry.
Each boy texted you separately and called you separately, various times. You ignored every call.
I'll be home soon. Staying at my parents for the night. is what you texted in your shared chat.Â
You weren't lyingâŚyet. Just withholding information.
As you had driven up to your parents house you felt the tears all ready to burst. The shocked look on your momâs face when you were at the door was enough for her to bring you in and comfort whatever you were going through. You had told her your secret, and she admitted the boys reached out to her in concern. You fell asleep on your parentsâ couch in distress.
One day and a few hours is when you woke up. You scrolled through your phone. Missed texts from Remus, missed calls from Sirius, voicemails from James.Â
âYou're going to have to tell them, you know.â Your mom entered the living room with a cup of tea for you.Â
You gratefully took it and sat up, shaking your head. Your hand went to your stomach without thinking.Â
âI know,â You said, starting to feel worked up again. âI know.â
It was an hour or so later of your mom giving you the confidence to tell your boyfriends that led you to dial Remusâ number.Â
âHoney?! Oh, my love, are you okay?!â
âIs that her??â
âGive me the phone!!â
The voices of your boyfriends rang through the speaker, and you sighed with a shaky voice.Â
âCan you guys meet me at the beach? We need to talk.â
It was James that broke the silence that took place after you spoke.Â
âYea, of course darling. Be there in 10?â
You felt tears dripping down your face. âMm-hm. Love you. Bye.â
Three âLove youâs chorused through the phone. You hung up quickly and held your face in your hands as you cried. Your mom rubbed your back encouragingly.
âLove, it'll go okay. And if it doesn't I'll be right here for you.â
That brought you to arriving at the beach. Your mom drove you because of how emotionally distressed you were, not being able to control your tears.Â
You saw Jamesâ car in the lot and took a deep breath as you rubbed your eyes.Â
âYou got this sweet pea.â Your mom gave you a shoulder squeeze.
You hesitantly exited the car and watched as the boys did the same.Â
They looked broken. Remus was unusually dressed in sweats and one of Siriusâ shirts and looked like he hadn't slept. James eyes were bloodshot and cheeks pink. Sirius, on the other hand, had a dangerous look on his face, borderline between looking like he'd scream or cry.
âWhere have you been?!â He came off intimidating, eyes glossy. You flinched at his tone, leading Remus to step in front of him.
He grabbed your hands. âDovey, why did you leave?â
You looked up at his hazel eyes, noticing James holding Sirius in a side hug behind Remus.Â
âIâŚIâŚâ Your voice cracked and you felt hot tears slide down your cheeks.Â
Remus rubbed your hands gently with his thumbs.Â
You let out a desperate cry and looked down at the ground. âI'm pregnant. Iâm keeping it.â
With that Remus let go of your hands, and you felt your world collapse. You started to cry harder, about to bring your arms around your body to hug yourself before a body slammed into yours, grasping you tightly.
âOh, loveâŚâ Sirius spoke into your neck.Â
You looked up in shock at James and Remus, both looking utterly surprised.Â
James stuttered as he spoke. âI, you, we are going to have a baby?â
âYou guys are staying with me?â You asked, uncertain.
Sirius whipped from the crook of your neck to grab your face with both of his hands.Â
âIs that what you thought dolly? That we wouldn't stay with you!!â He almost seemed hysteric at the thought.
You shrugged.Â
âOh sweetheartâŚâ Remus spoke quiet.Â
Before you knew it Remus and James both joined you in your hug, holding onto you tightly.
James was the one who broke it apart. âI just, I can't believe it.â
He grabbed your shoulders and gave them a gentle shake. âWeâre going to be parents!!â
You blinked and James had you up in the air, swinging you around in a circle as Remus fretted and Sirius laughed. âWeâre gonna be parents!!!â
#poly!marauders x pregnant!reader#poly!marauders fluff#poly!marauders x reader#poly!marauders#poly!marauders x you#james potter#sirius black#remus lupin
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learning languages | lee donghyuck
pairing: lee donghyuck | nct haechan x reader word count: 18.5k genre: university au, getting together, smut, fluff, angst summary: in which you're an exchange student and donghyuck teaches you the essential korean phrases you need, and eventually how to fall in love with him tag list: @smwhrinthehaze @byungbyungbaek @sundamariis @thiccfullsun @yesohhsehun @haechoshi @najmnluvr @liz-zo @heyitsconysstuff @magicastle @novawon @gaeulswrld authorâs note: Iâm so sorry it took so long, but here it is! I imagine conversations with everyone in Korean, except for Mark! đ I imagine the conversations with Mark in English. I also have 0 knowledge with the Korean language except from the common phrases every Kpop fan knows lol. So please bare with me and feel free to correct me! ^^ Please also consider tipping me if you want to! NCT Dream is coming to my country this April and Iâd love to see them if I could :) TIP ME HERE.
ë ě¨ę° ěśě (nalssiga chuwo) â the weather is cold
The rain is pouring when you arrive in Incheon.Â
Itâs not as harsh as it is where you come from, but the February breeze still makes you shiver and curse under your breath, and while youâre wallowing and pouting over the fact that your first day in South Korea is not going as well as you wanted, Mark is chirpyâa little too happy for your liking.Â
Of course, Mark is happy. Your bitterness over the weather is not going to spoil his energy, the exact same oneâmaybe strongerâhe has had over the past couple of weeks, counting down the days heâd be back in Seoul, finally. Mark has told you that it had been over a decade since he last visited South Korea, and the Student Exchange Program from your university had been the best opportunity for him to come back after so long, too long. The stupid smile on his face somehow makes you feel better, especially when he jumps from his seat when he sees his childhood friend walk towards your area.Â
Renjun is handsome like the picture that Mark sent you a week before your flight to South Korea, but it feels a little unfair that heâs even more attractive in person. His voice sounds like honey and the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles as he approaches you and Mark.Â
They jump into a tight, dramatic hug that makes a few other people in the waiting area look, but the boys donât care. Mark lifts Renjun up from the ground, itâs almost embarrassing. The sight makes you feel warm. You wonder how Mark feels.Â
It must be amazing, you think, to finally meet someone youâve been longing to see. Mark had always expressed his yearning for the placeâthe people, the friends he always had to leave behind when visiting during summerâand it makes you wonder how it feels like to have friends and family away from you.Â
Evidently, this is your first time to be away from home. You live (or used to at this point) in a dormitory, a two-minute walk to the campus, a good hour away from home, but you always went home whenever you craved for your motherâs dishes. Youâve never considered living away from home. Sure, you had plans to move out eventually, but not in a different time zone, not in an entirely different culture. Mark, on the other hand, is frequently moving around, dragging his suitcase from place to place, leaving people behind and promising heâd come back when he can.
Born in Canada, Mark had been to more places that you could count, but he has told you many times that nowhere else feels like home, like Seoul. Heâs told you many stories of the time his family lived there for a few years before going back to Canada, of his annual visits in the summer, and of his devastation when life had caught up with him that he had to stop visiting when he turned eleven.Â
You remember his voice, its tone and emotion, when he called you a couple of months ago, informing you of the exchange program that the universityâs administration had posted on the studentsâ corner, and how fucking amazing it would be if you could sign up with him.Â
âIt would be a good addition to your credentials,â he had told you. âItâs not going to be for a long time, a semester at least. And we have the option to stay the whole academic year if we wanted to! Plus, I already know a lot of people there. Weâll be fine!â
âI donât know, Mark,â you had answered, feigning hesitation, even when you knew deep down that Mark had already convinced you by the tone of his voice when he revealed the news. âIâve never been that far away from home. Remember when we went camping in ninth grade? I cried. For three whole days. Iâm not going to survive a semester. Besides, I know not a single Korean word.â
âCome on, Y/N,â he had begged. âThink about it. Youâll be with me the entire time. If we pass the screening, the program will sign us up for free Hangul lessonsâthough, letâs be honest, I donât really need it.â
âWhy do you have to bring me anyway?â you had asked out of curiosity.
âBecause I know youâll love it there,â he had answered. âYour obsession with studying culture and languages will be satisfied because there is no better way to learn a culture than experiencing the whole thing with your best friend!â
You remember humming in response, as if youâre thinking deeply about it. Mark sighed on the other line, his words making you laugh and finally agree.Â
âThe chances of Mom letting me go is bigger when I tell her youâre coming with me,â he had admitted. Mark, upon hearing your agreement to his proposal, began listing out the places he would take you. The phone call lasted for three more hours and it had seemed like Mark already had an entire plan in his head before he even asked you if you would go with him.Â
Passing the program had been easy and so was acquiring your visa. What was truly the pain in the ass, you admit, is learning the damn language. You salute Mark for being able to speak Korean so fluently, but heâs shit at teaching you and you had to rely on the free lessons you had taken every weekend and your favorite language mentor, Lee Minho in Legend of the Blue Sea. Your Korean is awful. Your tongue is a little too short, too stiff, for said language, and the situation almost makes you back out of the entire program and ditch Mark.Â
But here you are, still shit at Korean, but standing among hustling people and waiting for your best friend to wrap up the moment heâs sharing with his long-time friend. Renjun finally catches your eyes as you awkwardly watch them on the side, your backpack becoming heavier each second youâre standing on the airport tiles. He pulls away from Mark, smiling, beaming towards you and offers a handshake.Â
âHwang Renjun,â he introduces. You remember their last names go first here. âNice to meet you.â
It almost startles you when he speaks English. Mark forgot to mention his friend is fluent, you think.Â
You tell him your name, voice smaller than it usually is, and express your relief that he speaks English.Â
âIâm originally not from here either,â he explains. âIâm Chinese. My family had to move here before I could even properly pronounce words for my Dadâs work. Went to an international school, where I met Mark back in second grade.â
So, heâs cute and multilingual. How unfair.
âAnd Iâd love to chat longer,â he says, switching to Korean now, before you can even respond. âBut Hyuck is waiting in his car. We could talk on our way to your dormitory. For now, letâs go. Hyuck hates waiting.â
âHyuck drove? What happened to your car?â Mark asks, helping you with your luggage and pushing the cart himself. Renjun insists to carry your backpack, and he had already gently pulled it from your shoulder before you could refuse.
Mark and Renjun talk about Hyuck, both switching to speaking Korean now, on their way out of the arrival area and it doesnât take long for them to spot their friendâs car outside. The rain had stopped pouring by the time youâre settling yourselves inside their friendâs car. The second you settle yourself on the leather seat, you sigh in relief. Traveling is a lot more exhausting than you had initially thought.Â
Renjun sits on the passenger seat, right beside Hyuck, you assume, and Mark settles himself beside you.
âMark Lee,â Hyuck greets, looking at Mark through the rearview mirror. âA pleasure to finally meet you.â
It takes you a second to understand what he said. Itâs only then that you realize you really are in Korea.Â
âLee Donghyuck,â Mark responds in the same tone. âYouâre real. Iâm happy to see you in person and not just through Facetime. I want to hug you.â
âAm I better looking in person?â Hyuck teases. âHug me when weâre at your dormitory. Iâll even kiss you on the lips if you want to.â
âDisgusting,â Mark grimaces. âBy the wayââ He turns his attention to you the same time Hyuck begins driving. âThis is Y/N.â
Hyuck only smiles, nodding a little to you through the rearview mirror, brushing his brown hair using his fingers to fix it up. Renjun begins to ask how the flight was and Mark replies. All three boys strike up a conversation in Korean and it was all too much, too fast, for you to catch up and understand anything, so you stay quiet on your seat, leaning against the window, and begin to wonder how things will go for the entire spring semester youâll be spending in this foreign city.Â
Mark never told you that the drive from Incheon to Seoul is long, so far that you didnât even realize you had fallen asleep. When you arrive at the dormitory, itâs past six in the afternoon and Markâs friends ask kindly if you want to go out for dinner. Politely and quite incoherently, you tell them that youâd like to stay. Mark insists on staying home with you and unpacking your belongings, but you urge him to go, spend some time with his friends and walk around. Mark hesitates, but agrees nonetheless, promising he will come back in an hour.
The place the program had picked for you and Mark is not that bad. Itâs nothing like home, but itâs not bad. It makes you wonder how Mark does it. You remember not being able to sleep on the first few nights on your dormitoryâs bed when you were a freshman. Mark had never told you if heâs had trouble adapting to places heâs been. Maybe you could ask him in the morning.Â
The exhaustion hits you again upon entering one of the rooms. Room assignment is yet to be decided, but Mark wouldnât mind if you sleep on one of the beds while heâs out. And so, you sleep.Â
You donât remember what you dream of. And Mark wakes you at seven in the morning, reminding you that you had to unpack and go grocery shopping. Momentarily, you forget where you are. It hits you the same way it does in his friendâs car. Youâre in a different country. A different language. A different time zone.Â
It doesnât feel like home at all even though itâs cold. But you guess youâll have to make it work. At least until the semester ends.Â
ě˝ěí´ě (yagsoghaeyo) â I promise
When Mark told you he knew a lot of people in Seoul, you shouldâve known he was bluffing because he literally knew only seven people.
Mark Leeâs friends are warm and loud and somehow you feel out of place when they all decide to hangout where you and Mark are. Itâs the first week of the semester, and you have completed all the orientation and tour you need; Mark, on the other hand, is still catching up with everyone.
By everyone, he meant Kevin Moon, a senior who is also Markâs cousinâs long-distance boyfriend who happens to be studying in SNU too, Hwang Renjun from Natural Sciences, Lee Donghyuck from Music, Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin from Engineering and Architecture, Zhong Chenle from Humanities, and Park Jisung from Business Administration. Which is why every day, for the past five days, youâre at a place called Arcade, with Mark and two or three people from their group.
It turns out Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin were Markâs friends from childhood, the others are friends by extension.
Huang Renjun, you understand why Mark is closest to him among all. Heâs soft all over but sharp in the mouth. Renjun, you learn, likes to talk about life and likes to give people advice when they need it. Heâs reserved with other people but is the complete opposite when heâs with his friends.
Lee Jeno is shy. He normally joins the group after his internship at a construction corporation in the outskirts of Seoul, which is why you havenât really seen him muchâonly twice. You havenât had that many conversations with him yet, but heâs kind enough to pass you the ketchup when he sees you staring at it from the end of the table.
Zhong Chenle and Park Jisung are best friends. Thereâs not a day that you have not seen either without the other, kind of reminds you of how you and Mark are. They join whenever one is availableâtwo peas in a pod.
Na Jaemin is the closest with Lee Donghyuck. You see them talking in their bubble more frequently than the others. Jaemin is mysterious and a little coldâthe complete opposite of Lee Donghyuck.
Lee Donghyuck, well, youâve got a lot to say about him.
It isnât necessarily an uncomfortable feeling, because Markâs friends are kind enough to slow down when they talk to you and are quite protective of you, especially when a random stranger bravely comes up to you to introduce themselves. Lee Donghyuck, in particular, whoâs as warm as the sun touching your skin at nine in the morning and whose voice is careful and assuring, ensures that youâre never out of placeâeven when you feel it all the time. From the day the semester started, there hasnât been a day when Donghyuck isnât hanging out with you and Mark at Arcade.
Mark normally picks you up from class because thank God your schedules are aligned to each other despite having different majors. The College of Social Sciences is quiet, unlike the building right beside you, College of Music, and Mark usually takes five minutes to find you, because you canât trust yourself to walk around on your ownâat least not yet. But today, Mark asked if you could meet Kevin first because his girlfriend had something for him from Canada.
âHyungseo!â You hear someone call, making you look up from your phone to see Kevin walking towards you. He stops and turns around, a girl youâve seen around the college of social sciences once or twice running towards him.
âDonât forget to bring the laminated cards we need for Friday!â the lady shouts. Kevin gives her a thumbs up and turns back to you.
âY/N, right?â he asks in English. You nod. He offers a hand. âIâm sorry we havenât met personally yet. But Iâm Kevin.â
âShe called you Hyungseo, though,â you trail off, accepting the handshake anyway. âIâve seen your pictures from Giselleâs phone, so I knew it was you.â
He laughs. âHyungseoâs my Korean name. You shouldâve packed her with you.â
You reach for your bag and hand him the box thatâs been sitting in your backpack all day. âHere,â you say. âNo plans on visiting sometime soon?â
Kevin sighs. âI wish I could,â he answers. âItâs not as easy as we thought.â
âYou guys sound okay though,â you comment. âI mean, Giselle always sounds so happy when she talks about you back home.â
This makes Kevin smile. âOh, she does?â
âWhy would she think of getting you a gift all the way from home if sheâs not?â you ask, biting your tongue as soon as the words come out. âSorry, I shouldnât ask.â
âLetâs talk about this over some soju when you find a dude you want to spend the rest of your life with here,â he jokes. âThanks for bringing this. You and Mark have been so busy; heâs been declining all my invitations to hangout.â
You sigh, âYeah. Itâs only the first week and there are lot of things we had to do. Iâll ask him if we can hang out on the weekend?â
Kevin agrees and hands his phone to you, asking to put your number so he could call you. You do and tell him youâre grateful you could talk to someone in English aside from Mark and bid him goodbye when he leaves. You shoot Mark a text, telling him youâll be waiting for him and that Kevinâs dropped by to get his gift from Giselle.
Hence, you wait outside, busying yourself with your phone, trying to avoid any interaction as much as you can, and you donât notice Donghyuck standing beside you until he taps your shoulder and gives you a warm smile.
âMark is running late,â he says slowly. âLetâs go to Arcade together.â
You smile at Donghyuckâs attempt to pronounce Arcade how you would and nod at him. He leads the way out of the building, his backpack on one shoulder, and asks you how your classes are so far.
âItâs okay,â you answer because itâs all you can think of. âThank God my professor in Psychology speaks English.â
Donghyuck hums. âIt must be difficult for you.â
âIt is,â you confess.
Among everyone you have met so far, Donghyuck gives you the feeling of comfort; youâre not exactly the most outgoing person nor the leastâyou were in between. You were okay with that. And you were okay that Donghyuck is okay with that, too. He doesnât push you to speak more (probably because he knows you most likely do not know how to say whatever you had in mind), but can be very persuasive when thereâs a hint that youâre relaxed.
Lee Donghyuck is bold and charming and amiable like nobody youâve ever known. Normally, or at least with how youâre used to, people are a little more reserved around people they just met. And culturally speaking, you didnât expect Donghyuck to be so forward and already so comfortable hanging out with you, what more with having conversations like this.
âDonât worry, though,â he assures. âYouâll be fine. Youâre here for about six months, anyway. I promise itâll be the best six months of your college years.â
Heâs also bright like thisâoptimistic and kind and assuring. Youâre glad Mark is friends with people like him, with Donghyuck.
âDonât make promises you canât keep,â you try to say, a phrase Mark taught you the other night. âDid I say that right?â
Donghyuck giggles, stopping and reaching up to ruffle your hair. âYouâre absolutely adorable.â
âThat, I am,â you joke back, more comfortable around him now.
âI promise,â he says. âItâll be so good; you wouldnât want to go back to Canada.â
íęľë§ ě 몝í´ě (hangugmal jal moshaeyo) â I donât speak Korean well | 죽ěë (jug-eullae) â Do you want to die?
Donghyuck turns out to be a better teacher than Lee Minho and Mark Lee combined. He gifts you a small, pocket-friendly notebook, asking you to keep it for the rest of your stay, notably commenting that the materialâs size will allow you to bring it everywhere you go. Hence, the tiny, brown faux leather notebook is safely tucked between your necessities inside your bag.
The first sentence he teaches you turns out to be the most essential: I donât speak Korean well.
Donghyuck takes you to a cafĂŠ called 7 Days, an entirely different vibe compared to Arcade. You donât question Donghyuck when he puts an arm on your shoulder as you walk together inside the cafĂŠ, but he asks you right away when he must have felt you stiffen from the touch: âIs this okay?â
âYes,â you answer quietly.
Donghyuck smiles warmly at you. âHere, have a look around and Iâll get you something to drink before we decide what we want to eat. I have the perfect drink for you!â
He goes before you could say anything. You look and realize that the cafĂŠ is not so bad. Its aesthetic is the complete opposite of what Arcadeâs going forâcozy, serene, almost like a good place to study or sleep in, whatever you need to survive the dayâand the Biscoff latte is bomb, you donât think you can drink latte differently now.
Conversations with Donghyuck could, well, unfortunately, go only where your limit is. Heâs fun and likes to tell a lot of stories, but itâs always interrupted with you asking what a word means and him pulling up his phone and have his translation app say it for you. He makes jokes that you regrettably do not understand, but Donghyuck doesnât take it to the heart and only says: âBy the end of the term, youâll be saying these jokes to Mark Lee.â
Donghyuck excuses himself to go to the toilet about an hour later and allows you a few minutes by yourself, which you happily spend taking pictures of the interior of the cafĂŠ. You sigh when you realize you didnât take a picture of the Biscoff latte when it was full and pretty. Someone taps you on the shoulder, and it could only be Donghyuck, so you turn with a smile.
âI forgot to take a picture of the drinkâOh.â Itâs not Donghyuck. âIâm sorry, how can I help you?â you ask politely.
The man towers over you and he smiles warmly. Your cheeks flush when he does, because you probably mispronounce each syllable from that sentence. âIâm Sanha.â
You bow courteously, still have 0 idea why the man is talking to you.
âI donât see you around often,â he says. âAnd Iâm here, like, almost all the time unless I have a class. My dad owns the place. How do you like it so far?â
âItâs⌠okay,â you say. Sanha chuckles, and your face is hot you probably look like a red potato now. âI mean, not just okay, I just canât find the words toââ
He takes Donghyuckâs seat. âI can teach you,â he offers. âWe can meet up here, andââ
Donghyuck calls your name, voice firm and monotonous like never before. âItâs getting late. Mark texted me to take you home early because Chenleâs making dinner at your place.â
You look at Sanha apologetically, still unable to reply properly so you only say, âIâm sorry.â
Donghyuck doesnât give you the chance to say anything more because heâs already helping you out of your seat, turning you around so you could start walking towards the door, pushing you until youâre out of the cafĂŠ.
You hear him sigh as you walk away from the cafĂŠ, arm around your shoulder like how you entered the place.
âY/N, my sweet pea,â he softly says. âPlease donât to talk strangers.â
You shrug, âItâs not like I could just ignore him when he was already taking you space.â
He scoffs. âWhen strangers start talking to you and being all brave and upfront, you tell them: I donât speak Korean well. Then just start hitting them with English words and exaggerate your accent. Thatâs how Mark Lee tries to avoid conversations with girls sometimes because heâs a loser and women make him nervous.â
âI donât speak Korean well,â you repeat, slowly pronouncing each syllable.
âWhereâs the notebook I asked you to bring everywhere?â Donghyuck asks. âWrite that down.â
You nod and tell him youâd do it later. Donghyuck leads the way towards the stop just in time for the bus thatâs about to leave. You and him hop in, taking the seats in the back, giggling when Donghyuck almost topples over as soon as the bus starts to move. He lets you sit by the window and starts telling you about how his sister always fights him to get the window seat and heâs never won so he naturally just gives people the said seat.
Youâre nearby the next stop when you ask him: âDonghyuck, what if I tell people I donât speak Korean well and they wouldnât stop bothering me?â
Donghyuck looks nice in his brown, fluffy jacket, face bare, his eyeglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He looks even nice whenever he smiles like this.
âY/N, do you know how cute you are?â An answer you donât expect. âYouâre so cute when you ask questions like this. I want to put you in my pocket.â
âDonghyuck,â you sigh, expecting a serious answer.
He reaches up to pat your head. âYou wonât have to worry because we wonât let you be on your own unless you ask us to stay away. Especially me. Not me. Iâll make sure to take care of you and Mark while the two of you are here.â
You nod, still not satisfied with the answer. The Sanha situation awhile ago makes you realize how helpless youâd be if you werenât with Mark or any of his friends. Donghyuck probably notices your dissatisfaction when he feels like youâre sulking, which you definitely are, because he chuckles and pokes your cheek to get your attention again.
âIf it makes you feel better,â he says. âYou could always ask them if they want to die.â
âThatâs mean!â you gasp.
âOr tell them to fuck off,â he shrugs.
âDonghyuck!â
âWhat?â he asks. âItâs not like I donât hear you and Mark say âfuck youâ to each other every day.â
You laugh at that. âSaying it in Korean hits different.â
âRight!â Donghyuck agrees. âIâve been telling people saying fuck you in Korean has more impact than in any other language. I can say the word fuck every day.â
âYou kiss your mother with that mouth?â you joke.
Donghyuck coos. âOh, Iâm so proud of you. Youâre cracking jokes now.â
The bus halts at your stop, and Donghyuck helps you up by taking your hand the way heâs helping you learn the language. Itâs only when youâve reached the street to the apartment you share with Mark that you realized youâve been holding hands all the way from the bus stop.
ě ěëŹě§ ěě´ě (jeo alleoji iss-eoyo) â Iâm allergic
âDo you not understand what you just did, Mark Lee?â you ask in disbelief.
Itâs only a month into your stay in Seoul, and Mark does the dumbest thing ever. Mark Lee comes home with a pet cat.
There were three rules for the spring semester, three very specific and very easy rules: one, to always text each otherâs location as soon as you step foot outside of the apartment (which you and him are constantly compliant about; you love Mark Lee for that); two, to never skip a class unless youâre sick (youâre only here until July; Mark decided heâs not wasting a single day in Seoul, even if it means going to classes on time and by schedule without fail); and lastly, donât keep things you wonât be able to take back home.
Mark had said that these rules are specifically for you because rule number one ensures your safety, rule number ensures you get the real Korean education experience, and rule number three apparently ensures youâre not leaving anything important at the airport when you leaveâwhich now you think is bullshit. The rules are more for him than you, but you love Mark Lee, and itâs not like the cat isnât cute.
âBut, Y/N,â Mark pouts. âShe kept on staring at me with these eyes when Renjun was busy comparing brands of dog treats. It was like her eyes were calling me, asking me to take her home!â
The calico cat is a baby; Mark said itâs not even five months old yet. Itâs the last from seven siblings, the last one to be adopted (and you think Mark is only telling you this to convince you this is a good idea. She jumps out from Markâs lap and goes to you, staring at you first before settling herself on your lap.
âShe loves you already!â Mark comments.
You sigh. âMark. You know we canât take her home, right? Weâre leaving in like, five months.â
âWhich means I have five months to convince our friends to adopt her while Iâm in Canada!â he answers enthusiastically, his eyes almost sparkling with the way heâs talking. âI couldnât just leave her there. My heart wouldnât allow me to leave without her!â
âFine,â you give up. âDonât cry on me on the plane back home when we leave her.â
Mark chuckles. âI think I should be more worried about you crying on the plane back home.â
Someone knocks on your door before you can ask what he means by that. Itâs Mark who stands and welcome the person, and of course, itâs Donghyuck.
Itâs Saturday. Saturday means Donghyuck comes and hangs out at your place because he no longer has to work in the university library on the weekends. Heâd quit, saying his big mouth isnât fit for the library, and had asked the school administration to reassign him to another facility. Part of his scholarship is to work at least 16 hours a week in one of the universityâs facilities. Heâs paid, of course, but Donghyuck says heâs not paid enough to keep his mouth shut for 16 hours a week. The admin asked for a week to figure out where heâd be assigned next, so he had this entire weekend all to himself, which, to how it looks like now, heâd decided to spend with you and Mark.
Mark lets Donghyuck in. The latterâs smile falters when he sees you; he only gives you a curt nod. And itâs not like youâre expecting Donghyuck to cuddle you on the couch, alright? Itâs just that, youâve known each other for a month now, and have hung out together a handful of timesâjust the two of youâand he called you yesterday telling you heâd come hangout with you and Mark for the weekend, even said something about teaching you to play Apex if you have the energy for it. And itâs not like heâs obligated to come sit beside you as soon as he enters your apartment, but youâre confused when he sits on the single couch far away from you, stance uncomfortable and his face looking like heâd rather be elsewhere.
Markâs voice fades away when he asks Donghyuck what their plans are, to which Donghyuck answers: âIâm actually just here to say hi. Iâm leaving in a bit.â
âNo way,â Mark protests.
âOr we could go out?â Donghyuck offers.
âUh-uh,â Mark refuses. âY/N has been excited all morning to see you. Youâre not going to disappoint her today.â
âI didnât say anythingââ You try to say, but couldnât translate what you want to say quick enough. âDonghyuck obviously doesnât want to be here.â
Over the course of a month living in Seoul, you and Donghyuck had grown closer more than anyone. It would be ridiculous to deny Donghyuckâs seemingly unceasing affection towards you, and in the same manner, it would be a lie if youâd say youâre not enjoying all the attention heâs been giving you. Above the flirty and friendly advances he makes (but never crossing the line), Donghyuck has grown to be a good friend. During the first couple of weeks, you would refer to him as Markâs friend; itâs safe you say youâre friends with him now.
Donghyuckâs decided to pick you up from the college of Social Sciences, convincing Mark that his building is literally next to yours and that a ten-minute walk to Arcade with you is not going to hurt himâMarkâs been walking with you for many years anyway, he would mumble under his breath, close enough for you to hear but distant enough for you to understand what he truly means. Hence, with the growing friendship you have with him, you wonder what you had done this time.
âItâs not like that,â Donghyuck answers the question you had in mind, both hands raised in defense. You raise an eyebrow. âThat.â
Donghyuck points at your lap, Markâs unnamed cat sleeping soundly now. Oh.
âIâm allergic,â he explains. âI canât be around one within like a five-meter radius otherwise, I would, like, you know, die.â
âYouâre exaggerating,â Mark comments. âAre you really?â
âYeah,â Donghyuck confirms. âThe allergens are getting to me. My throat is starting to close up. I have to leave now.â
This startles you and Mark, the latter quickly taking the calico cat from your lap and quickly taking it to his room. You reckon the catâs allergens are all over you so you sit as far away as you can from Donghyuck.
âItâs fine,â he assures, but he already looks like heâs choking. âItâs not that serious. They usually just give me allergic rashes and kind of triggers my asthma. So, weâre good.â
âBut you have a dog!â you remark. âYou never told me youâre allergic to cats!â
He chuckles, âWell, you learn something every day.â
âThere are some anti-histamine tablets from the cupboard,â you point out, still seated where you are. âI probably have allergens on my hands; please go get yourself one.â
Donghyuck does what heâs told, taking one and opening the fridge to get himself a bottle of water. You tell him youâre changing your clothes and ask him to wait up, offering to go out and have a meal with him instead.
Mark knocks on your door a couple of minutes later, finding you dressed up, a knowing smile playing on his lips. âDonghyuck said heâd wait outside. You look nice.â
âI know I look nice,â you say as you go back to your vanity to throw whatever youâd need for the day in your small dumpling bag, including a box of Benadryl. âYouâre not coming with us because you have cat all over you.â
Mark chuckles, leaning against the doorframe. âDonghyuck literally told me the same thing. Heâs growing on you,â
You only hum in response, checking your bag for the last time before walking towards the door where Mark Lee is still leaning on, the same smirk playing on his lips still plastered.
âWhat?â you ask.
Mark doesnât say anything, but he raises and shows you his right hand, sticking three fingers up.
먚ěěľëë¤ (meog-eossseubnida) - The meal was good.
Seoul National Universityâs library is as quiet as it can be; itâs almost scary how the only sounds youâd only hear are the faint sounds of pages being flipped and pens gliding on notepads, and the eerie echoes of the tension coming from students who are either cramming on an assignment or jumping from one subject to another in hopes of getting everything they read retained in their head.
Donghyuck used to tell you this is the exact reason why he didnât like working at the library. Itâs too quiet but too loud at the same time. You chuckle at the memory of him telling you anecdotes of his short-lived employment in the library and wonder how different it is being the soccer teamâs laundry guy. Heâs probably pouting all the way from the beginning of his shift until the end.
âHere,â Jung Sungchan disrupts your thoughts, keeping his voice as quiet as possible. âI found these, maybe it could help bridge the gap weâre struggling on.â
You and Sungchan are paired up for a two-week long assignment for one of your major subjects. The objective was to present a summarized and substantial report on the welfare state, and you think Sungchan must have tripped on all the bad luck in his life to have been paired up with someone who couldnât speak Korean that well, because, well, the books they had are mostly in Korean. If speaking and understanding Korean is a struggle for you, reading the damn language is hell.
âThis is a good thing,â Sungchan assures. âThere are resources online that are mostly in English. We can combine everything we find and construct the report from there!â
You nod and hand over the book youâre reading before he arrived, explaining that you found a chapter that could be very helpful. The boy fires up his laptop and starts accessing the website your professor had recommended you to use.
Sat side by side, you and Sungchan study in silence, except for when he asks you to read an article for him and explain what it means. The session lasts for hours, thank God you and him didnât have classes for the rest of the day, and within those hours of studying with Sungchan, you canât help but notice the looks you were getting anytime someone passes by the two of you.
Itâs no secret that Jung Sungchan is probably one of the most attractive men in the university. Heâs tall and has skin thatâs as clear as a day in summer, smile that could swoon a lot of people off their feet, broad shoulders thatâs probably carrying the entire hockey team for this yearâs seasonâand yes, it doesnât help the fact that Jung Sungchan is the most popular jock at the moment, apparently for hard carrying the team to win last yearâs trophy, ending Seoul National Universityâs 10-year drought and awakening the schoolâs love for sports back. And you think itâs quite unfair that people like him exist. Because you would expect that heâs an asshole who doesnât care about his grades because heâs essentially SNUâs hero at the moment, but heâs not. Jung Sungchan, you learn, takes his degree in Social Sciences very seriously.
And itâs evident with the way his eyebrows are furrowed as he reads the tenth book he found from the shelves.
âI think this part makes more sense now,â he points out, leaning closer so he could show you the article heâs reading. âIn residual regimes, welfare-seeking units are primarily family and market. On the other hand, in the institutional welfare regime, the function of providing welfare belongs directly to the state.â
âBut countries with different social conditions and lifestyles should have differed in terms of welfare states,â you argue. âWe have to consider that the development of industrialization and production growth could be very different from one country to another.â
Sungchan hums. âGood point. Perhaps we can find more of that from Wilensky and Lebauxâs work. Do you have the book over there?â
You nod and hand him the book. Just as Sungchan flips the book open, Mark occupies the seat across you.
âWeâve been calling you,â Mark whispers to you, then turning to look at Sungchan. âHey, man. Mark. Y/Nâs best friend.â
Sungchan gives him a polite nod before going back to the book. You raise an eyebrow at Mark and slip your phone from the pocket of your backpack and find all the missed calls from him, Renjun, and Donghyuck.
âMy phoneâs been on silent for like, I donât know, four hours,â you tell him, slipping your phone back to your back. âAnd I texted you Iâd be at the library.â
âYeah, like four hours ago,â he answers. âI didnât think youâd really stay here for four hours. Anywayââ Mark pulls out a lunch bag and slides it across the table. âDonghyuck made this for you. He figured youâd be hungry.â
Itâs only then that it hit you. The last meal you had was that bagel you had for breakfast on the way to school, which you had seven or eight hours ago.
âMy sweet Donghyuckie,â you coo, thankful for his thoughtfulness. âThanks, Mark. Sungchan and I will share because weâll be here until we finish at least the structure of the report.â
âItâs getting late though,â Mark points out.
Sungchan clears his throat. âI can drive you home.â
âGreat!â Mark exclaims, which earns him multiple shushes from the other students studying. âSorry. Great!â he says again, in a whisper this time.
Mark bids goodbye to you and offers a handshake to Sungchan, telling him heâll see him often in the next two weeks or for as long as you and him are paired-up on your major subjects. Sungchan gives him one last assurance youâll be home safe.
You ask Sungchan to take a break and open the lunch bag. Inside it are two bento boxes full of food, too much for one person, and you donât take another minute to wait. Sungchan must have been hungry too, because he doesnât refuse when you offer the other half of your meal to him.
Youâre not really sure how much longer you and Sungchan stay in the library, but as soon as youâve finalized the structure of the report and have agreed on assigned topics, he suggests that you and him go home and meet up again on Friday so you can start assembling the presentation. And as promised, Sungchan drives you home, glad when he realized your apartment is only ten minutes away from his.
Itâs already ten in the evening when you reach home. Markâs probably already sleeping, you think when you donât see any light peaking from smallest of the small space between his door and the floor. Itâs late anyway, and you donât really have much energy to tell him about your day like you always do. In fact, you donât even have the energy to shower anymore, and because you donât like sleeping on your bed with your outside clothes, you opt to sleep on the couch tonight.
The last thing you do is shoot Donghyuck a text message: âThe meal was good.â
ěźę°ę´ęł (sam-gak-kwan-gae) â love triangle
Jung Sungchan invites you watch to one of his preliminary games the day after you completed the report with him. Mark teasingly tells you that you have boys wrapped around your finger not even two months living in Seoul. You deny the claims, of course, because Sungchan is nothing but a good friend and you donât see him as anything more.
Donghyuck is the first person you think of when Sungchan gives you two spare tickets for the game, and you like to think that itâs only because you donât want Mark teasing you and accusing you of romance all afternoon, and also because Donghyuck has a car and Mark is a shit navigator so you canât trust him to commute with you from the university to the indoor arena where the game is being held.
SNUâs team wins, of course, and you proudly cheer for Sungchan, which earns you a side eye from Donghyuck. You shrug it off and pretend that you didnât see.
âCan we go now?â Donghyuck asks, bored, when people start leaving the arena.
You shake your head. âSungchan asked me to wait for him after the game.â
âYou know that barbecue place I told you weâd go to?â Donghyuck reminds. âWe can go thereââ
Your phone rings. Itâs Sungchan. Donghyuck sighs.
âCongratulations, nerd!â is the first thing you tell him. Sungchan thanks you, laughing from the other end of the call, and apologizes that he can no longer meet you because the teamâs been hogging him the second they won the round.
âItâs fine,â you assure. âIâm with Donghyuck, anyway. Iâll see you at school?â
âNo, no,â Sungchan answers. âThereâs a small celebration party at Shotaroâs house. Itâs a twenty to thirty-minute drive from your apartment. Iâll send you the location. Go there.â
Sungchan hangs up, and not even a second later, you receive a text from him, a location pinned on the message. You show the message and pout at Donghyuck, and heâs looking at you all bored, rolling his eyes, before nodding and taking your hand so you and him could leave the arena.
The drive to the place takes about an hour from the arena, and you spend it singing along to Michael Jacksonâs songs.
âYou have a really nice voice,â you comment. Donghyuck laughs.
âBaby,â he says. âI wouldnât be pursuing a career in music if I had a shitty voice.â
The nickname gives you a flush, and you could only hope Donghyuck wouldnât notice.
Almost two months into meeting Lee Donghyuck, you find yourself unable to keep your heartbeat down whenever he does things like thisâcalling you nicknames, randomly showing up in places where you are just to say hi, holding your hand, texting and calling you every day, spending his weekends and times off with you, and doing simple and domestic things for youâand your heart tells you itâs okay. Thereâs nothing wrong with a whirlwind romance in Seoul. Donghyuck doesnât ever hesitate, and the fact that youâre holding back means you really like him. But the rational part of you says itâs not really a good idea to be in a situationship with someone who will most likely forget you as soon as you go back to Canada, and you canât afford a heartache from miles away. Besides, Donghyuck probably isnât that serious with whatever thatâs going on.
Rumors say (by rumors, you mean Chenle and Jisung) that Donghyuck is the type of guy who dates one girl after another. Because heâs bold and charming and amiable and likes to expand his choices, and he finds that thereâs nothing wrong with dating as long as he doesnât date multiple women at the same time. You havenât really seen him out on a date since you had met him. Rumor (Chenle) says that heâs been single since fall of last year and had committed to stay single this year because of the messy breakup and also because heâs on his last year of college, heâd need to focus on stepping up his game if he wants entertainment companies to fight over him as soon as he starts looking for agencies after graduation. Another rumor (Jisung) says heâs rejected many women who have tried to sleep with him since news broke that Lee Donghyuck is newly single. The rumor says heâs as popular as Jung Sungchan when it comes to women, which, if youâre being honest, gives you some kind of pedestal to walk hand-in-hand with him in the university grounds. You realize now that you get the same look from women when youâre with Donghyuck like the stares you got whenever you and Sungchan are stuck in the library for hours of studying.
The only difference is that, well, you like that people stare at you with a hint of jealousy whenever youâre with Donghyuck.
âWhy havenât you invited me to your gigs?â you ask before you could even think about it. âSungchanâs only been friends with me for like three weeks and he already got me tickets to his game. You, on the other handâŚâ
The car halts to a slow stop, Donghyuckâs phone telling you that youâve arrived at your location. Donghyuck doesnât switch off the engine though. He chuckles licking his lips, then poking his tongue on his cheeks, fucking with your heart and hormones in the process. He keeps his hand on the steering wheel and turns to look at you, eyes hazed in attraction like heâs pulling you in.
âBaby,â he says in a whisper almost. âI donât like love triangles.â
âLove⌠triangles?â you repeat.
âLove triangles,â he says in English. âI fucking hate it. And weâre not about to go through that trope in our love story here. So, let me make it clear before we go inside and before you even think about sticking to Sungchan all night.â
You gulp.
âThereâs no Sungchan in the equation,â he states like a command and you find yourself nodding, agreeing. âItâs only you and me. Tonight, there will be a lot of people and none of them will be in the equation. Tonight, youâre sticking with me and weâll talk about this tomorrow. Have fun with me and see if you want to take this to another level, because if you ask me, Iâve been dying to fucking kiss you since the semester began.â
This territory is new, and this Donghyuck is new, too. Heâs always been affectionate and heâs never held back, but this new level of honesty is astonishing. Damn attractive if youâre being honest.
âCome here,â he says, ridding himself from his seatbelt. You do the same, leaning closer to him. Donghyuck holds your cheeks with both hands, smiling down at you before leaning in to kiss your forehead. âIâm not giving you mixed signals. This is me giving you a clear, direct sign that I like you and I like what we have, but Iâd love to take another step. Iâve been thinking about it, and I donât really want someone to enter the equation while Iâm trying to woo you.â
You giggle. âYou already successfully wooed the romance out of me the second you started holding my hand, Lee Donghyuck. And no, there wonât be love triangles.â
Donghyuckâs honesty fires up some courage in you, and you like the feeling of watching him falter when you lean in, hand on the back of his neck, and kiss him for the first time. The man melts in your kiss and in your touch, but doesnât wait for another heartbeat to kiss you back. And despite of the bottled-up and eagerness from both sides, the first kiss is soft the first time, featherlike and sweet. His lips are even softer than they look and his lips already look plump as it is, and when Donghyuck licks your lips and invites himself in, God, he makes sure you taste the sweetness from his mouth and in a minute youâre addicted and you kiss and kiss and kiss, lips locking, tongue gliding, breaths gasping.
Itâs him who pulls away, leaving you with dazed eyes wanting, wanting, wanting more.
Donghyuck gives you one last kiss on the forehead. âLetâs go.â
ě´ë ę˛? (ireoke) â Like this?
You donât end up seeing Sungchan at all in the party, and you donât mind because Donghyuck keeps you glued to his side. The party is fun, but you and Donghyuck decide not to drink a single drop of alcohol. To him, itâs because he has to drive. To you, itâs because you want to be entirely sober to remember whatever happens tonight.
Donghyuck makes out with you in the corner of the living room where people are crumpled, and you like that he doesnât care that people see. He holds you by the waist and on your neck, and you get it now. You get why women are lining up to sleep with Donghyuck, because if he can kiss like this, what else can he do with his mouth?
You shoot a message to Sungchan with a selfie of you and Donghyuck, thanking him for inviting you to the party and telling him youâll see him on your next class together (Donghyucks suggests you send Sungchan a picture of you and him making out.) and prompt to leave. Donghyuck says goodbye to a few people he knew, holding you by the waist all the way from the house to where his car is parked.
Donghyuck drives you to his apartment and tells you heâs told Mark youâd be sleeping at his place tonight. The drive itself was intense enough and Donghyuckâs doing an amazing job keeping his cool while youâre practically sweating from the passengerâs seat.
You donât even get a good look at his apartment when you arrive, because Donghyuckâs already kissing you as he rids himself of his jacket. Donghyuck doesnât kiss you softly this time; he kisses you like heâs leaving a mark on your mouth, almost like he wants to bruise his presence inside you. He helps you get slip out of your jacket, pulling away quickly to kick his shoes off, before carrying you bridal style and bringing you to his room, kicking the door behind.
Despite the roughness of his kisses, he puts you to bed gently, ridding himself of his shirt and kneeling on the floor so he could help you out of your socks. He leans up once heâs done, one hand on your jaw to pull you down for another kiss, the other caressing your thigh.
âPlease tell me this is okay,â he whispers. You nod. âI need your words, baby.â
âYes, Donghyuck,â you answer, breathless when he starts kissing your neck. âThis is okay. Please touch me.â
Donghyuck pushes you a little so half of your body is lying on his bed, your feet flat on his carpeted floor, tugging the loops of your jeans, urging you to lift your hips so he can rid you out of the material. He pulls you back up to take your shirt off from your torso, then heâs helping you back up from the edge of the bed towards the headboard as he crawls on top of you.
âDonghyuck,â you gasp when he goes back to kissing you. You realize that Donghyuck like kissing with the way heâs using his mouth to imprint his presence in you, his tongue licking everywhere it can reach inside your mouth, and he tastes like mint and the soda he had at the party, and heâs everything that you want. âTouch me, please.â
âLike this?â Donghyuck reaches down to rub your clit through the material of your underwear. He rubs slow, teasingly, and kisses you on the mouth when you groan. He dips his head lower and kisses your neck; he bites and nips and sucks and youâre sure itâs leaving a mark youâd have to conceal the next day. âWant me to touch you like this, baby?â
A moan elicits from your throat, and Donghyuck doesnât waste any more time. He slips his warm hand between your skin and your underwear, really touching you, rubbing your clit gently, his digits dragging itself on your slit slowly, gathering your wetness then going back to rub your clit again, more roughly with the pool of wetness his fingers have now.
âLike this?â he asks again, pushing a finger inside when he finds your hole, urging another moan from your lips.
âOh my God, Donghyuck,â you gasp when he fingers you gently, your wetness making a sound when he adds another finger. Donghyuck takes his time, biting his lips as he watches you writhe underneath his touch.
âPull your bra down,â he breathes out, and you do. When your breasts are out on the open, Donghyuck doesnât waste time and locks lips with your nipple, sucking and licking as he fingers the sanity out of you. He alternates from fingering you with two digits and rubbing you using his thumb, and youâre all putty and messy under him, and you want more, more, more, more.
âBaby, please fuck me,â you beg. âPlease, Donghyuck. Please fuck meâ
Donghyuck hushes you. âI will, baby. Iâll fuck you so well, youâll come running back to me tomorrow and the day after, and the day after.â
But he doesnât. He pulls his fingers out, hold you by your jaw so you could lock eyes while he licks the proof of your attraction to him from his fingers, sucking and showing you just how well he could use his tongue. He doesnât fuck you get but he rids you of the last garments from your body and does the fucking impossible.
Donghyuck eats you out like itâs the last meal heâll ever have. He swirls his tongue on your clit as he pushes his digits back in your hole, fingering you like itâs all heâs ever wanted, and heâs got you chanting his name like a prayer when his tongue laps your sex, even more when he replaces his fingers with his tongue. Youâre writhing and screaming and Donghyuckâs holding your legs apart while he pleasures you with his mouth and hands.
You donât want to cum yet, but Donghyuckâs so, so good, and it looks like heâs not stopping anytime soon. He tongues you back to your clit and fingers you with three digits, fast and rough.
âDonghyuck, Iâm going toââ You see white and stars and you stay still when Donghyuck continues fingering you, moving all three fingers in an upward motion, reaching where you want him the most, mouth sucking your clit as you ride the first orgasm youâve had in months.
Donghyuck lets you have your moment when itâs done, taking the time to lick the slick wetness from his fingers down to his wrist, kneeling between your legs. You push yourself up so that youâre sitting with your legs wide open, your palms flat on his sheets, head tilted for a kiss. Donghyuck leans over and kisses you again, and you never thought youâd like tasting yourself in his tongue. You guess everything tastes sweeter when itâs in Donghyuckâs mouth.
âOff, please,â you murmur, pulling the loops from his jeans. Donghyuck obeys, removing all pieces of clothing until heâs naked.
You marvel at his beauty, licking your lips when you finally see him bare and clean. His golden skin looks like honey and you want to kiss the fuck out of his collarbones and leave your mark for everyone to see. Your eyes travel from his chest down to the trail from his tummy down to his erect cock. Heâs hard and red and you salivate from how big he looks and feel yourself getting even more wet at the thought of him fucking you. Before you know it, youâre reaching out, moving so you could kneel, and taking his hardness in your hand. Donghyuck moans for the first time tonight, and you plan to elicit that sound from him all night.
Stroking him slowly, you feel a rush of satisfaction when Donghyuck pants your name. âOh my God,â he moans when you bend over, a palm flat on his sheets, your other hand stroking him as you take him to your mouth. He gathers your hair and watches you from above, and you purposely stick your ass up higher when you feel him twitch as you take more of his cock into your mouth. When youâre about halfway, you stroke the rest of what you canât take and start sucking and licking, and Donghyuck makes the absolute best sound ever. You like his voice when he sings, but you donât think anything could compare with how heâs whining your name as you suck his dick thoroughly, licking and jerking off whatever your mouth couldnât fit. A part of you wants to ask Donghyuck to fuck your mouth, bruise your throat with his dick and cum straight down your fucking stomach if he wants to, but that could be arranged next time. This time, with his dick hard and wet from your mouth, you want him to fuck you.
You suck him one last time before you pull away, a string of your saliva following when you look up at Donghyuck. âNow, will you fuck me?â
Donghyuck looks fucked out, eyes dazed with lust, and you want nothing more than for him to ruin you. And Donghyuck doesnât need to be asked twice.
He crawls back up until youâre lying on your back, legs wide open for him, and kneels between your legs. âReady and sure?â he asks for the last time, stroking himself.
âPull out when you cum,â is all you say and Donghyuck goes for it. He gives you a kiss and rests one of his forearms beside your arm, massaging the head of his cock on your opening until heâs stretching you out.
âFuck,â Donghyuck groans when he feels your tightness. âGod damn, Y/N, when was the last time you got fucked?â
âIâI canât remember,â you say. âNone of them were worth remembering.â
âAnd me?â Donghyuck asks as he pushes deeper until heâs fully stretched you and his pelvis is leaning against your clit. âWill you remember me?â
âAsk me next time,â you breathe out. âI think youâll have to fuck me every day so I can remember.â
Donghyuck gives you some time, kissing you softly. âWhen was the last time you fucked anyone?â you ask in return.
âI canât remember,â he parrots. âNone of them were worth remembering. All I know is that this is the first time Iâm feeling someone raw.â Then he bottoms out, gives you only half a second before heâs thrusting back and out and back and out and back and out, slowly but surely fucking you well.
Donghyuck fucks you like he means it. His hips snap roughly but makes sure you feel all of him before he thrusts out and heâs everywhere. His tongue is in your mouth, then on your neck, his free hand is caressing one of your breasts, playing with your nipples, and heâs making you feel so, so good and youâre not sure how you go back from here. Youâre not sure how you could go on with life knowing how well Donghyuck can fuck you. Heâs got you squirming and reaching your second orgasm only minutes into fucking the life out of you.
When youâre close, Donghyuck pushes himself up so that heâs kneeling again, and lifts both your legs, resting your calves on either side of his shoulders, hugging your legs so he can fuck you deeper in this angle. The precision makes you chant his name over and over again and he takes one of his hands down to rub your clit. You try your best to hold back from cumming because the way heâs fucking you now feels so damn good that you want it to last for a long time. He thrusts in and out quickly, his balls hitting the bottom of your ass again and again.
âCome for me, baby,â he says. âLet go.â
So, you do, and Donghyuck keeps on fucking you through it. Donghyuck lets you finish, before heâs pushing the back of your knees down so your thighs are pressed up against your stomach, chasing his own orgasm, and fucks you hard, without rhythm, until he is moaning your name like praise and heâs pulling out so he could release on your stomach. You reach up to caress his cheek as you watch him in awe as he finishes, his face contorted in pleasure, lips wet and eyes closed.
When itâs done, Donghyuck kisses you on the forehead and helps you clean up. He leaves to go to the bathroom for a minute to grab a warm, wet towel, cleaning your stomach, and carries you back to the bathroom with him. The shower is warm, and Donghyuck is gentle and sweet when he cleans you up, giving you kisses when he pats you dry once heâs gotten rid of the shampoo and body wash from your hair and skin. Donghyuck tells you thereâs a spare toothbrush on behind the mirror and washes himself as you brush your teeth, naked but warm.
Donghyuck tells you to that the right side of his closet is where you can find the clothes he uses at home and you follow as he finishes cleaning himself up. You take the liberty to take one of his shirts that are still too big for you despite Donghyuckâs frame and slip a pair of cotton shorts.
Donghyuck finds you half-asleep when heâs done showering; he sleeps shirtless, you reckon, because he crawls to bed only in sweatpants. He cuddles you from behind, kissing the clothed shoulder, and the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep is him humming a song your mind canât recognize and a promise that youâll talk about this the next day.
You wake up to the smell of Spam, an empty space beside yours, and the sound of Donghyuck singing a song from BOL4, which you learned is one of his favorite musicians.
Donghyuck smiles warmly at you when you find him in the kitchen, just about to finish pan-frying the last piece of sliced luncheon meat. Heâs still shirtless, but is wearing a cute pink apron, and he gives you a quick kiss on the lips like itâs the most natural thing ever. The second his lips pull away from yours, you reach up and touch where he kissed, lips tinglingâin disbelief that what happened last night is real.
âGood morning,â he hums. âJust in time for breakfast.â
âDonghyuck,â you trail off. âCan we talk first?â
Donghyuck nods, offering that you sit on the high stool across the small kitchen island. He sits next to you, turning the seat so that youâre face to face, knees touching. âWhat do we want to do?â he asks.
âYou know Iâm leaving in like, four months, right?â you start.
Donghyuck whistles. âWe just started and youâre already breaking up with me?â
âNo, no,â you say, exhaling. âThis⌠this. I like. You. I like.â
âBaby, construct your sentences properly,â he laughs.
âI like you,â you confess. âAnd I like this. I like holding your hands. And kissing you. And what we did last night. Iâm just worried becauseââ
âBecause youâre leaving,â he finishes for you. âI know, but I also like you a lot. More than you probably think. And I donât want to miss my chance getting to know you more just because youâre leaving in a few months. I donât know what you want, but hereâs what I want, you let me know if it works for you, if not, then Iâll still be a friend. Who might cry for two weeks straight if you reject me.â
You laugh but urge him to continue.
âI want to date you, and get to know you even more. Your quirks, the things that make you angry, your comfort food, the movies that give you the ick,â he continues. âYour family, how you were raised, if you like Marvel or DC more, what Hogwarts house you belong to, if you like pineapple in pizza or not, whether you pour milk or cereal first, if you ever kissed Mark Lee, if Mark Leeâs ever had a crush on you.â
âWhat does Mark haveââ
âShh,â he stops. âItâs my turn. Talk later. Anyway, I want thisââ he gestures the space between you and him. âAnd I want you. I want to keep teaching you the language and I know whatâs ahead of us is scary, and thereâs only two things that could happen: this is going to be either the biggest heartbreak of my life or youâre going to be the greatest love of my life. Itâs a fifty-fifty chance, Y/N. Letâs just say Iâm willing to risk whatever if it means I have 50% the chances of having you as the greatest love of my life.â
Oh. You donât realize youâre staring quietly until Donghyuck holds your hand.
âNow tell me,â he asks slowly. âWhat do you want?â
You donât hesitate. âI want you, Lee Donghyuck.â
ěźě´ë ě ěë ěľě
ě ěíŠě 돴ěě
ëęš? il-eonal su issneun choeag-ui sanghwang-eun mueos-ibnikka? Whatâs the worst that could happen?
It doesnât come out as a surprise to anyone when you and Donghyuck arrive at Arcade holding hands, a shy smile playing on your lips, a proud one in Donghyuckâs. You were thankful that there were no teasing remarks coming from your friendsâthat they were taking this so well, like itâs normal. Like itâs meant to happen anyway. Thereâs a knowing smirk on Markâs stupid face, but you love him and you canât wait to tell him all about how you feel towards Donghyuck. âOkay, so my birthday falls on a weekend,â Jeno announces. âAnd I think itâs the best time to go to the amusement park. Will you have work then, Renjun-ah?â
âMost likely,â Renjun answers, mouth full of food as he chews on a bite of pizza. âBut I can have Yerim cover for me. Iâll just return the favor if she needs me one day.â
âSweet!â Jeno exclaims. âSo, itâs decided then. Weâll go to the amusement park on my birthday.â
As you and Donghyuck play footsie under the table, Mark stands, turning to you. âIâm going to get another milkshake. Come with me?â
You nod, kicking Donghyuck one last time and standing to follow your best friend. Somehow, you feel bad for not saying anything about your growing feelings for Donghyuck, considering that Mark is your best friend in the entire universe and youâre his. If it were him, he wouldâve told you the second he caught feelings to anyone. But Mark knows youâre not the kind to admit feelings like this as soon as it starts inflating in your chest; he knows youâre the type to hold it in until you canât anymore. Having had terrible relationships in the past, Mark has always known that youâre the kind to be careful.
âI didnât think youâd actually go for it,â Mark says as soon as you and him are out of earshot. âDonât get me wrong. Iâm happy for you. I just didnât expect this to happen so quickly.â
âMe neither,â you mumble under your breath. âSorry for not saying anything.â
Mark chuckles. âYou didnât have to. I mean, we all kinda always known this would happen. I just couldnât imagine how you and Donghyuck sealed it so quickly, like considering how shy and quiet you always were whenever he was around.â
âI was shy and quiet with everyone around,â you remark. âDonghyuck taught me all these slangs and now I canât stop talking.â
The woman in the counter asks you what she can help you with when you reach her. Mark tells his order alongside some sides Renjun had asked him to get. He leans on the counter, turning back to you. âAnyway.â
âYeah?â
âI think youâre serious serious.â Mark clears his throat. âLike, Iâve known you for so long and youâve always been hesitant to do shit. Iâve always been the spontaneous and reckless one between us, and youâre the careful one. The one who thinks everything through before deciding on itâthis trip to Seoul included on the long list.â
âYour point is?â you ask, even though you know exactly where this is going.
Mark licks his lips before continuing: âWhat Iâm saying is, youâve never been this certain so quickly.â
Thatâs right. Not to be clichĂŠ or whatever, but this is normally how it goes for you. Relationships used to be difficult for youâfrom the pining to the confession to its climax to its end, until the bargaining and acceptanceâand youâd never been the type to go through things so quickly and easily. With Donghyuck, youâd somehow done it backwards (and Mark doesnât need to know that you slept with Donghyuck before you even sealed the damn relationship) but for some reason, you had forgotten how youâre supposed to act around people you like romantically. It scares the shit out of you, the connection between you and Donghyuck, but youâve always been a firm believer that if it doesnât scare you, it probably isnât something worth doing. It feels like jumping from a cliff, to the bottom of the unknown, and itâs new, but it makes your heart pound like never before.
âI donât want to get ahead and say something thatâd make you change your mind somehow, because I also like you and Donghyuck together,â he explains when you only stare at him. âBut, as your best friend, with the best intentions only, please donât go breaking your heart before we leave, yeah?â
You nod, understanding and appreciating Markâs sentiment. âWhatâs the worst that could happen?â
Mark shrugs. âWe wonât really know. Take care, yeah?â
You smile stepping closer to hug Mark. âI love you, you know that, right?â he asks. You nod, your face buried on his chest. âGood. Iâll beat Donghyuckâs ass if he hurts you in anyway.â
âI sure hope you do,â you reply, just in time for the staff to call Markâs attention, the tray of his order ready for him.
Donghyuck is pouting when you return, asking why you and Mark took too long because the seat beside him is all cold now. You kiss him on the cheek and tell him Mark just told you heâs beating his ass if youâre hurt in anyway.
âMark canât hurt a fly,â Donghyuck remarks. âWhat makes you think he can hurt me, huh?â
Mark scoffs. âYouâll be the first.â
ęłě ęłź ęłě ěŹě´ (gyejeolgwa gyejeol sai) â between seasons
When the seasons start to changeâfrom the rainy, cold spring transition to a warm, sunny summerâyou and Donghyuck change, too.
From the euphoric blooming of your relationshipâthe playful dates, the passionate moments in his bedroom (because ever since Mark adopted that cat, Donghyuck could never stay at your place for longer than an hour), the heart-warming feeling of seeing him waiting for your after your classâto the warm, comfortable attachment stage, you feel like you know Donghyuck in a deeper sense now.
The small notebook heâd given you at the beginning of the term is halfway full, its pages messily scribbled with phrase and sentences you had learnedâlikewise the memories those words carryâand soon enough you find yourself more comfortable with the language, and eventually with Seoul. You find yourself enjoying, and not in a way that makes you think youâd want to visit again soon.
The journey with Seoul was initially a play to learn the language and its beautiful culture: a detour. A diversion from your plans. A stop while you figure out what you want in life. Your last year in university is supposed to be the year you finally decide what to do next. Visiting Seoul was an opportunity for you to really get to know yourself beyond your comfort zone, to really challenge your capabilities, to learn beyond what your hometown had in store for you.
But these days do not feel like Seoul is a place to visit.
In a way, liberating albeit frightening, you find yourself thinking that perhaps Seoul is a place to build a home in. The home is built from arms that hold you on days when itâs extra cold, your nose red and hands frozen, and its shelter is made from Donghyuckâs warm smile and the assurance of him being there for you. And right now, while you sit closely together at the back of your friendâs car, their obnoxiously loud voices singing to some pop song along the radio, you feel it: home.
Jeno likes the phone case you had customized for him, and he gives you a big, bear hug as soon as he take a peek of whatâs inside your present.
âI love you. I literally love you with all my being,â he dramatically says as he squishes you.
âThatâs my girlfriend, you idiot,â Donghyuck complains, pulling Jenoâs arms away from you. With the way you three are seated at the back of Renjunâs car, you sitting in between them, itâs uncomfortable and Donghyuck insists on taking part of the little moment youâre having with Jeno.
Jeno whines, âLet me love her. This is the best gift ever!â
Donghyuck ends up puffing air out of his mouth, pouting and leaning back so Jeno could hug you. Youâre laughing and Jeno whispers how easily they could make him sulk these days because youâre around.
Mark, whoâs sitting on the passenger seat beside Renjun, announces youâve arrived at the amusement park, just as Jaeminâs car halts to a slow stop behind you.
Itâs the first time youâve ever visited the famous amusement park in Seoul, and Mark looks excited with the way heâs jumping as you line up for the tickets. Donghyuck has his arm around you, taking pictures with his other hand. The rest are chattering, talking about the rides theyâd love to try.
The secretly group decides to stick together for the entire day to celebrate Jenoâs day, despite the birthday boy himself telling everyone they can go wherever they want to. You could see how much they really care about one another and they all just hide it in their mean, vile jokes. For example, the man who has his arm wrapped around you likes teasing Jeno like itâs his full-time job, but is hiding a birthday present inside the trunk of Renjunâs car (and would most likely give it before you all head home, act like his best friendâs birthday isnât that much of a big deal).
Most of the day is spent following Jeno around, whatever ride he wanted to try and your ears ringing because of how loud Donghyuck is screaming. The temperature has gone from freezing cold to warm, the humidity making it a little harder for everybody to move around under the warmth of the sun.
âI never realized how much of a scaredy cat you are, Donghyuckie,â you tease as soon as you walk out of the roller coaster ride. âNot much of a tough guy now, huh?â
Donghyuck whines, âI liked you better when the words you spoke were only yes and no.â
Mark laughs, slapping Donghyuck on the back. âOh man, that was really good.â
âYeah?â You rebut. âAnd I liked you better when you werenât screaming like a kid.â
Donghyuck smirks, âAnd I like you better when youâre screaming my name.â
Renjun and Jisung cough in disgust, and Mark just straight up slapped the back of Donghyuckâs head. âYou two are disgusting. I canât believe I live with you, Y/N.â
Donghyuck laughs, turning to you. âItâs pretty hot. Want me to go grab you a can of soda? Ice cold water?â
âWater, please,â you say. Donghyuck nods and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling Chenle with him and walking to the opposite side where a small shop is. In the meantime, the rest of you occupy the benches under a shade, Jeno asking which ride to go next.
Donghyuck and Chenle return in a matter of time, bottles of drinks in their hands. They give everyone their preferred drinks, Donghyuck sitting beside Mark and extending an arm so he could hand you your drink from his side.
âFucking summer,â Donghyuck curses. âI hate summer.â
Renjun raises an eyebrow. âSuddenly?â
âItâs not even summer yet,â Jaemin points out. âWhat happened to you? Youâve always been so excited about summer.â
âItâs so hot. I canât stand this fucking temperature,â Donghyuck mumbles.
Renjun scoffs. âYou start planning our summer getaway as early as March.â
âItâs already April and you have nothing yet,â Jisung points out.
âYeah, what the hell, man. I hate your ridiculous ideas, but we canât survive summer without you,â Jeno adds, then looks at Mark. âYo, Mark, what about you? What are you doing this summer?â
You and Mark freeze, looking at each other for a second, before the latter speaks for you both: âWeâre, uh, weâre supposed to go home.â
It seems like Jeno didnât know the weight of his question because he apologizes as soon as he realizes it. The group falls into silence, no one says anything, or perhaps nobody could think of anything to say, not even you or Mark.
With your days in Seoul numbered, you realize now that you havenât really talked about itânot you and Mark, not you and Donghyuckâand it never really felt real. You had always told yourself youâll cross the bridge when you get there, and the bridge is nearby.
Donghyuck clears his throat. âThe sunâs going to kill me. I think I saw a burger joint that has an air-conditioning system down the corner of that street. Shall we go there?â
Everybody agrees and stand to leave. Donghyuck holds your hand, pulling you close and steals a kiss on your cheek. The gesture makes your heart flutter. Donghyuck is warm, but not in the way the sun is hot right nowâin a way that gets you thinking: can this warmth reach Vancouver?
Your skin hurts when the sunlight hits you. You hate summer.
 ě¤í´ íě§ë§ (ohae hajima) â Donât misunderstand
Donghyuck had a face that looked like what an artist would draw in a whimâspontaneouslyâlike it was done in a rush, like a portrait from a park done by a street artist, something done with a pencil. Ink stains are harder to wash off, and anyway, figments arenât mean to lastâand heâs almost unrecognizable in this light.
You canât recognize him on the night of his birthday.
His Mother had gone above and beyond and invited all of their closest relatives and family friends for his 23rd birthday, and itâs also your first time meeting them.
Itâs nerve-wracking to say the least, but his Mother smiles at you kindly when she greets you from the entrance of the restaurant they rented for the evening. You could tell his family was wealthy, and it makes sense because Donghyuck got the most bare minimum job he could find, and itâs most likely because he doesnât need to get one; he probably only got one so he could talk about work, too, just like the rest of his friends.
The birthday party is a surprise and it was Renjun who connected with everyone to make sure they attend here tonight. You had to make up some excuse to Donghyuck when he asked why you canât join him for dinner with his family tonight and had promised to make it up to him the day after.
Youâre sat in the same table as Mark, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin, a bit far away from Donghyuckâs familyâs table, as you wait for the birthday boy, your present sitting on top of the round table. Mark talks about his cat, letting Jaemin watch snippets of his pet from his phone, and Renjun is narrating a story about his âridiculous and absurd encounter with Liu Yangyang (and you and Jeno canât pass up the opportunity to tease him about it).
Then, someone comes sit beside Jaemin, the boys gasping when they see her.
Karina is beautiful, and even saying that isnât enough to describe the womanâs beauty. Soft-spoken and brilliant, Karina naturally allows everyone to gravitate towards her. All, including yourself, are pulled like magnet when she arrived. Jeno introduces you and you allow yourself to throw a quick and inaudible âhelloâ when she reaches over and asks you how you are.
Donghyuckâs Mother almost screams when she sees Karina, excitement filling up the air as she hugs her and thanks her for attending.
âI wouldnât miss Hyuckieâs birthday for the world, eommoni,â Karina answers, and before you could ask Renjun how sheâs related to Donghyuck, Jisung, whoâs seated in another table with Donghyuckâs younger siblings, announces that the birthday man himself has arrived.
Donghyuck enters the hall, surprised and happy when he sees everyone, a dramatic cry leaving his lips as everyone greets him happy birthday. He feigns complaint, whining that heâs no longer eight years old, but hugs his parents anyway.
His parents thank everyone for joining a precious day and celebrating their eldest sonâs birthday with them. Donghyuck bows and starts to go around to thank people.
You donât recognize Donghyuck when he finally reaches your table and he gives you small smile, hugging you quickly before moving on to the next person. You donât recognize Donghyuck when he goes to Karina, lifting her as he hugs her tightly, and thanking her for being able to come. You donât recognize Donghyuck when his Mother joins the little reunion and he laughs when his Mother jokes about them missing each other too much.
âSheâs the one who left me all alone here in Seoul,â Donghyuck pouts. âWe wouldnât have missed each other this much if you had stayed!â
âDonât be such a drama queen, Hyuckie,â Karina says, rolling her eyes. âYou visited me in Tokyo literally six months ago.â
Six months ago, which means, it was right before you arrived in Seoul.
You want to be anywhere else but here, and you donât want to listen any further, but the scenario runs like a comedy show and the punch line is you.
âYou two better decide whatever the hell you want to do with your lives by the end of the year,â Donghyuckâs Mother comments. âI mean, no oneâs stopping you from moving to Tokyo, Donghyuck. You and Karina can rekindle whatever light was burnt last year. Iâm glad you stayed best of friends despite the long distance. Youâve always made a great couple.â
Your breath hitches like your lungs had just been punch. Donghyuck, it seems, finally remembers youâre watching this unfold. Mark holds you, and bless him because your legs feel like theyâre about to give up. You and Donghyuck make eye contact, but you donât recognize him at all.
âEomma,â Donghyuck clears his throat. Everything else heâs said come out like a blur, and Mark is just holding you close.
âDonât misunderstand,â Renjun whispers closely. âTheyâre just friends.â
You donât recognize Donghyuck when he watches you leave.
ě˛ě˛í ë§ěí´ ěŁźě¸ě (chun-chun-hee mal-sseum-heh ju-seh-yo)  - Please speak slowly | ě§ (jib) - home
Karina turns out to be the one that got away. The one true love. The greatest love. The childhood best friend whoâs always been there. The leading woman. She turns out to be the protagonist in Donghyuckâs story.
You learn all of these from Renjun. Even when he refused to say a single word and had begged for you to talk to Donghyuck instead, you learn the truth by asking Mark to ask Renjun.
Donghyuck and Karina. Karina and Donghyuck. Two peas in a pod. A tight knit. Knowing each other like the back of their hands. A buy one, get one kind of deal. Where one is, the other would follow. And everyone and their moms know that it has always been like that, will always be like that.
Donghyuck and Karina, born on the same year, grew up in the same small village in Jeju island. Having been inseparable since, they ended up moving to Seoul together in high school. Donghyuckâs parents were supportive of Donghyuck pursuing a career in music, and they believed that moving to Seoul was the first step for their beloved son to find his spotlight. Karinaâs parents, however, couldnât afford moving alongside the Lee family despite wanting to support their daughter, too. Donghyuck begged his parents to have Karina move in with them so her parents would only worry about paying her tuition and allowances. The Lee family agreed, of course, because Donghyuck and Karina were fifteen, and they were the best team the world has ever known.
Karina is a talented dancer, and with a face like hers, it would be a shame to keep her in a small town in Jeju island. Her moving to Seoul had been the first step to her early success, because as soon as she reached puberty and had gained a butt and a pair of breasts, agencies were scouting her, creepily waiting for her outside of hers and Donghyuckâs high school. Sheâd declined, of course, with a promise to Donghyuck that theyâd go to stardom together, but Donghyuck wanted to study and make music, and he felt as though he needed to go to college for that.
Karina eventually moved to another dormitory when she started training. Donghyuck moved downtown to start college. They were in different places, but they were still inseparable.
Pretty much every day Donghyuck would meet up with Karina when she started training; if not, then heâd be on Facetime with her during the hours when sheâs not working. He had brought her to SNU many times, and they had started dating by the time Donghyuck is in his second year. All the other guys know Karina and her place in Donghyuckâs life. Somehow, a bitter part of you feels betrayed that none of them ever mentioned about Donghyuckâs great love, but you canât really blame them for not saying anything.
They broke up on the latter months of last year because Karina had to move to Tokyo. There was no big fight apparently, just the decision that itâs most likely not going to work becauseâlisten to this; this is the biggest punch line of this comedy showâDonghyuck canât handle long distance.
You had answered one of Donghyuckâs calls by mistake. Heâs mad for some reason, perhaps angry of the fact that youâre ignoring him and he doesnât have much control like he normally does.
âY/N, for fuckâs sake, why havenât you answered?â he had cried out as soon as you answered.
âI was busy,â was all you could come up with. You brain had not been working good enough to translate things to Korean.
âWhat do you mean you were busy?â he had asked, voice loud and angry. âYou literally disappeared on me! On my fucking birthday! And Iâm done playing nice and cool because this is unfair. Whatever the fuck youâre doing is unfair youâre not letting me in. If you could just let me explain, thingsââ
âPlease speak slowly.â
ââwould be easier for the two of us. Whatever Karina and I had, itâs been over since last year. Itâs over way before I met you. I never thought of her, not even for a goddamn second since we got together. I wouldnât fucking betray you like thatââ
âI canât understand you.â
ââand I canât believe you donât trust me enough to let me at least tell you what happened! I never mentioned her because I never even thought about her! My Mother doesnât know anything! Iâve wanted you to meet my Mother for a long time, but given our situation, a fucking time bomb ticking, I didnât know if it was too early to go to that stage.â
âTime bomb?â you had asked, repeating the syllables slowly. âWhatâs that?â
Donghyuck sighed on the other line. âThe thing that explodes at a predetermined time.â
âOh, a time bomb,â you asked in English, chuckling. âThat, we are.â
âHuh?â
âWeâre a fucking time bomb,â you said, again in English, because if Donghyuck could keep talking in his mother tongue without considering if youâd understand a single word, so could you. âWeâre ticking and weâre just waiting for this shit to explode. And I canât wait and watch myself burn, Donghyuck. I canât.â
âPlease speak slowly,â he pleaded in Korean. You donât.
âThis isnât going to work,â you responded, still in your mother tongue. âMaybe this is a clear sign for us, Donghyuck. Goodbye.â
Mark finds you crying on floor of your living, your back leaning on the feet of the couch, two weeks after Donghyuckâs birthday.
The first week, you had convinced your friends you were fine and that you just needed time. Donghyuckâs been reaching out to everybody, and Mark, being the best friend he is, lies regarding your whereabouts every time Donghyuck visits.
You donât know how many calls Donghyuck had tried to make and how many text messages heâd left because you had completely abandoned your phone for the last couple of weeks and only relied on your computer to check any e-mails from your professors.
âIâm sorry,â Mark says, and you feel a rush of relief when he talks to you in English. Youâve had enough of Korean and Korean men these days. âIt sucks, man. I donât even know what to say. Iâm so fucking disappointed with Donghyuck.â
âShouldnât you be more disappointed with me?â you sniffle. âI should have listened to you. We were moving too fast.â
Mark shakes his head, pulling you closer so that your head is resting on his shoulder. âI couldnât blame you. Donghyuckâs charming, and I genuinely thought he was in love with you. I mean, I could say is, because I really think heâs sorry about everything.â
âWe didnât even get to properly break up,â you cry. âOur flight back home is in like, two weeks. I was supposed to talk to him and decide what weâd do with our relationship. For his birthday, I made a stupid mixtape that he could keep in his car and a very expensive and fucking cheesy set of touch lamps I found online for whenever he would miss me. And I keep making stupid letters like a fucking idiot so I could leave him with a bunch of poorly constructed letters just so he knows how much Iâll fucking miss him.â
Mark stays silent as you sob your heart out.
âAnd can you believe I actually thought itâd work?â you say, exasperated. âIâm so fucking sorry to myself. Iâm just glad itâs over before I did shit Iâd regret later on.ââ
âShit like?â Mark asks.
You sigh, sniffling and screaming internally because the tears would stop. âI was already looking into internships here. For my last semester in college. I had already decided to decline the internship they were offering back homeâthank God I havenât sent that e-mail from my draftsâand Iâve found really good companies here. And if Iâm lucky, I was thinking of moving here after college.â
Mark clicks his tongue. âAll because of Donghyuck?â
âBecause he feels like home, Mark,â you reason out. âHeâs warm, and I canât believe Iâm admitting this now, but I love him. I love him so fucking much.â
âOh, Y/N.â
âAnd we would have been happy. I wouldâve done everything I could,â you confess. âAnd this fucking language barrier will be the death of me, but I wouldâve learned more. Iâd be an expert by the end of the year. And now, this whole Karina thing made me realize how much more I need to know about him.â
Mark holds you closer as though holding you would make things better. âWhen we were kids,â he starts. âWhenever I told you stories about how much I miss all the people I had to leave behind whenever we had to move from one country to another, one state to another, youâd always tell me to never build houses out of people.â
You remember. You always admired how Mark could move from one place to another, his suitcase and the ghost of the friendships he made following his trail, and heâs always told you about the loneliness it comes with.
âYou used to tell me shelters arenât supposed to be made of arms wrapped around you on a cold night, or hands that hold you when youâre feeling lonely,â he continues. âAnd I canât blame you, because humans are known not to follow their own advice. But I hope you find home in things youâd never lose.â
You nod. âIâm sorry for breaking rule number three.â
âYouâll get over him,â he assures. âIf you decide to really end things here, I mean. Iâm sure you can get over him. Itâs easier to get over people when you donât see him.â
You nod, âLetâs go home, Mark.â
âBack home?â
You smile. âYes. Back home.â
ę°ë§ (galmang) - longing
Itâs Giselle who picks you up from the airport.
You reunite like old friends, but Giselle really didnât change that much. Even the weather didnât change much. The same old. You wish you could say the same to yourself.
The flight to Vancouver was the most painful ten hours of your life, both literally and figuratively. It was hard watching your friends bid you goodbye, and you could tell they were dreading your departure as much as you and Mark were. Mark assures them you and him would save up to visit them again this year and as much as youâd wanted to stay, your student visa would allow you only six months. Mark promises heâd work on a tourist visa or whatever because despite being 100% ethnically Korean, but legally, he canât just visit whenever he wants.
The pain from your breakup with Donghyuck is nothing compared to seeing Mark leave his friends again. You know how much they mean to him, and by extension, how much they mean to you regardless of what happened before your departure.
The head of student exchange program sends you warm greetings through text, followed by a series of messages from your friends and family. Youâre glad Giselle had decided to pick you up from the airport, because you donât think youâre in a good state to pretend like youâre okay, and Giselle knows.
Of course, she knows.
Giselleâs been your anchor during your last weeks in Seoul. Mark reckons that if anyone would understand you best during this time, it would be Giselle. After all, sheâd gone through the same thing.
Like Mark, Giselle moved to Seoul with her parents for a few years. She had a similar experience with Mark, considering that her parents are constantly moving aroundâfrom Japan to South Korea then to Vancouver. Giselle was only in Seoul for two years before her parents moved back to Vancouver again, and in between those years she had met Kevin Moon, the love of her life.
They have been dating for almost four years now, two of those years, they dated long distance.
âHowâd you make it work?â you had asked Giselle over Facetime once.
âIt wasnât perfect,â she admitted. âWe broke up a couple of time because it was really difficult. And neither of us were willing to move for each other. I mean, donât get me wrong, Kevin and I, we love each other. Truly we do. But I wouldnât want to plant my entire life in Seoul for him. In the same manner, I donât want him to move from Seoul to Vancouver for me when we both know for a fact that heâd be more successful in Korea than here. I guess, I donât know, I donât have an advice I could give you.â
âIâm not asking for advice,â you denied. âI mean. Donghyuck and I have only been dating for like, two weeks. I wouldnât think that far at this time.â
Giselle had laughed at the other end of the line. âLet me tell you one thing, though.â
âMhm.â
âItâs all a matter of choice,â she had said slowly, like she wanted to imprint the words to your brain. âYour heart isnât made of diamonds. Your lungs arenât made of steel. Somehow, inevitably, youâd grow tiredâtired of timezones and how you never get the timing right, tired of not having someone to hug when you need it, tired of having to compromiseâand itâs not an easy game.â
Giselle was smiling when sheâd said the rest: âBut Kevin is so worth it. Iâll grow tired of the baggage long distance comes with, but I donât think I could live without him, you know? And itâs exaggerated, I know, and neither of us know what the future holds, but weâre choosing us. We chose to stay.â
It would have been beautiful, you think, if things worked out between you and Donghyuck. You would have written poems and prose in places about how you chose to stay. You would have learned about time zones and the best time to call, could have learned how to purchase the cheapest flight tickets to see each other, would have learned love and compromise together.
But youâre here, back in Vancouver, the voices of Mark and Giselle all blurred out from the backseat, and all you could think of is how much you miss Donghyuck.
ěę¸°ěš ěě (yegichi anh-eun) - unexpected
The head of the student exchange program asks you to write an article about your experience in Seoul and gives you until the fall semester begins, just in time for the universityâs own publishing house to produce this yearâs school paper. Youâre stuck at two hundred words and a stupid title Mark came up with: âLearning Languagesââand youâre thinking about withdrawing from that spot in the newspaper but Mark keeps calling you a heartbroken loser and youâre not about to let Mark Lee get the last word.
Youâre eating cereal and watching an episode of Suits to prepare to write again (yes, a 30-minute preparation time is needed for such task) when someone knocks at your door.
You know how, in movies, the main character would see things in slow motion as soon as the love of their life enters the scene? Thatâs exactly what happens when you open the door and find Lee Donghyuck standing outside your dorm room, a too-large for his body backpack on one shoulder and his heart upon his sleeve.
미ěí´ (mianhae) â Iâm sorry | ěŹëí´Â (saranghae) â I love you
âIâm sorry,â are the first words that Lee Donghyuck comes up with, and truthfully are the words you needed to hear from him. He says it in his mother tongue and you feel his heart in his voice.
âMark?â you ask, knowing full well itâs Mark who helped him.
âYes but no,â he answers. âHe said heâd only give me your address but heâs not picking me up or helping me. My flight landed literally six hours ago and Iâve been looking for you since.â
Donghyuck sits across you on the small table you own inside your small room. His backpack is sitting on his feet and his shoulders are slumped. Donghyuck allows himself to look small compared to all the times you were with him.
âY-you look good,â he comments, eyes glued on you. âIâm glad youâre healthy, at least.â
âYou, too,â you mumble. âTea? Coffee?â
âWater would be fine, please and thank you.â You reach over to hand him a bottle. âAnd who are you kidding? I look awful.â
He does. He looks exactly what he said he had done to get here. Look for you for six hours after a ten-hour flight from Incheon. Donghyuck downs the bottle of water. Poor guy probably hasnât eaten.
âWhy are you here, Donghyuck?â you ask as soon as heâs done drinking.
Donghyuck clears his throat. âI donât really know what I want out of this trip.â
You keep your arms crossed over your chest.
âAnd Iâm not about to beg you to take me back,â he continues. âI just wanted to explain. I just want you to know what happened. I can live without you, but I canât live with you thinking I had betrayed you.â
âDonghyuck, thereâs really no need to explain. Renjun has told Mark all I needed to know.â
âNo, let me say it please. I spent a fortune to come here, and Iâm going to make you listen if itâs the last thing Iâd do. After this, Iâll leave. I have a ticket back home tomorrow, and Iâll leave.â
Ridiculous. Who would spend a fortune on a set of roundtrip tickets only to leave a day after? Of course, only Lee Donghyuck.
âKarina and I go way back,â he says. âWeâve known each other since we were kids. And sheâs not someone I could just get rid of just because our relationship didnât work out. Weâre better off as friends, and thatâs a fact we had come to learn when we tried dating. And it was painful, but I couldnât lose her just because we didnât know how to date, how to play boyfriend and girlfriend to each other. Thatâs the first thing I need you to understand.â
âLike I donât know that already?â you remark sarcastically.
âKarina is a part of me.â Shitâs painful.
âBut now like how you are a part of me.â
Oh.
âSheâs my best friend, almost like a sister now, and my parents care about her,â he continues. âIt was a mistake that we even tried to date just so we could relate to everyone dating everybody. It almost ruined us, and Karina and I, we canât afford to lose each other just because of that. The person who I am now, part of it is because of Karina. But Y/N, the person Iâm about to become, I want it to be because of you.â
He clears his throat again. You look at the bottle of water he finished drinking because you really canât look at Donghyuck now. Not when heâs vulnerable and out in the open. Not when heâs exactly the way he was when you fell in love with him.
âAnd I had plans. For the long run,â he says like a promise. âI had started looking up how to get a tourist visa to Canada and how to get you a tourist visa to Korea. Iâve been saving all my allowances and the money Iâve been earning from work so I could book a ticket to Vancouver for the summer and spend it with you. And I was supposed to tell Mom, but I havenât had the chance yetâthat one I have no excuse for. But the timing was off and she met you before I could tell her. She had no idea and sheâs genuinely sorry she made it seem like she wanted me to end up with Karina. If she had known I was already in love with someone else, she wouldnât have said that in front of you. She would have loved you.â
Donghyuck pauses. You look up to see him wiping his tears from his cheeks. âAnd Iâm sorry that the timing didnât go well for us, but I promise you I had plans. I just didnât want to spend the rest of your weeks in Seoul thinking about you being gone as soon as the semester is over. I wanted to seize the moments with you and make youâI wanted to make you feel that I love you.â
Your breath hitches. Donghyuck locks eyes with you.
âI love you. I love you and Iâm so sorry that I made you feel like I didnât,â he confesses, bursting into tears and you do, too. âIâm so sorry that I didnât try hard enough to make you stay. Iâm so sorry that I talked to fast that time I finally got you to answer my call; I shouldâve explained more calmly. Iâm so sorry that weâre here, in Vancouver, hearts broken. But I love you, and I wish I could say all of these in English if thatâs what would make you believe itâs real and itâs true.â
But he doesnât have to.
âI love you,â you say in your mother tongue before switching to Korean. âI love you. And I know you love me. And Iâm so sorry for jumping to conclusions and not trying hard enough. Just like you, I had plans to. For the long run. And I can live without you, too, but I canât live without you knowing how much I love you.â
Donghyuck giggles through his tears and reaches out both hands to wipe off yours. âLetâs not live without each other.â
Itâs him to moves, standing a little, so he could kiss you.
The kiss says everything the language barrier canât. I love you. I missed you. Iâm sorry. This is everything Iâve ever wanted. You are everything Iâve ever wanted.
Donghyuck spends the night tracing your body with his mouth like heâs writing a love song and he needs to taste you first before he could write the first melody. You spend the night underneath Donghyuckâs love, whispering his name like praise, taking, taking, taking everything heâs giving you.
You wake up to arms around you and the love of your life kissing the back of your neck. You and him spend the entire day (or at least, the seven hours he had until he had to take the flight back home) talking about your plans and making a list of thing you have to talk about over the phone, but today, youâre taking him out on a date under the warm, sunny skies of Vancouver.
And you do. You and Donghyuck have the best day ever together. Donghyuck gives you the other pair of the touch lamp youâd given to him as a birthday presentâyouâd forgotten you left it when you ran off; you were supposed to watch him open it so you could show him how it worksâand makes you promise to touch the lamp whenever you missed him. He thanks you for the mixtape and confesses he cries whenever he plays it inside his car. He also gives you your small notebook of learning languages back (because you had dramatically left it to Renjun before you boarded the plane), saying youâd need it again.
Mark refused to come because he wants you and Donghyuck to talk and spend the day creating a game plan to make your relationship work. At the end of the hours you had with him, you donât come up with a solid game plan.
Because Giselle was right, after all, it all comes down to the choices you make. There was no formula on how a long-distance relationship would work. Neither you nor Donghyuck had survived one, but you knew one thing:
Today, you and Donghyuck choose each other.
Itâs only the beginning, it seems.
The sun is out and bright when Donghyuck boards the plane.
Itâs a lot warmer than the rest of the year, but you donât really mind.
#nct fanfiction#haechan smut#haechan fluff#haechan fic#haechan au#haechan scenarios#nct dream#lee haechan#lee donghyuck#donghyuck x reader#donghyuck fix#donghyuck fic#donghyuck smut#donghyuck angst#haechan x reader#faye's moving castle
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"Is this real?"-Jess Mariano
words: 983
warnings: Jess being a tiny bit of an asshole, language, Jess Mariano x Artist!Reader
summary: You and Jess never got along back in New York, but when your art gets hung up in a gallery, Jess is the first person you want to tell. But, he's no longer in New York
You'd done it, you actually did it. This seemed like something you had only dreamed of, but here it was the proof that you actually had done it.
You were a very passionate artist, working hard on everything you did. Making sure every painting was almost perfect, and it seemed to finally pay off. Your art was being hung up in one of the biggest art galleries. They were doing an installment of a young artists works, and by some miracle yours got picked,
Thinking about it, the only reason this happened was because of Jess. He wasn't the nicest to you exactly. The two of you seemed to have a random rivalry for almost no reason at all. Yet he was the one who always pushed you.
If he thought something was off with your painting, he wasn't afraid to say it, and have you rethink the entire painting. Sometimes you talked about how one day you wanted your art framed in a famous gallery. If he overheard that he would immediately say something like 'not with that splotchy painting' which would annoy you, especially since he wasn't an artist. But now you realized that without his helpful critiques, you probably wouldn't be here right now.
As strange as it sounds, all you wanted to do was run to him and tell him all about how your art was going to be in a gallery. Even though he was a dick about your art, sometimes if you really accomplished something, like winning a prize or being recognized, he would congratulate you and be entirely sincere about it.
The thing was though, that Jess no longer lived in New York. His mom had shipped him down to some random small town to live with his uncle. You didn't know his current number, or even where he was, so it looked like you had to give up hope.
Or, at least you thought you did, till you remembered you knew Liz's number. You called her, asking where Jess was. She seemed suspicious to why some girl was asking about where he was, but once you explained that you were his friend, which is kind of a lie, but also kind of not, she gladly told you that he was in some town called Stars Hollow, living with his uncle Luke, at a diner called Luke's.
You thanked Liz for the information, quickly grabbing your keys and running to your car. The drive from New York to Stars Hollow was only about 2 hours with traffic. You made it down there in what felt like almost no time, it was now almost 4pm when you parked outside of the diner, where you could see Jess from the window.
Grabbing the newspaper that had the picture of your art, and the article on it, you ran inside. A site like this was something new for the people of Stars Hollow, so they were all intrigued when an unfamiliar girl, in a leather jack ran into Luke's diner, shouting, "Jess, jess."
Jess looked up from where he was taking an order behind the counter, immediately recognizing your voice in a second, "Y/N, w-what are you doing he-" he started to say, getting cut off by you.
"Shut up, just read this," you told him, practically shoving the paper into his hands, as you leant over the counter.
He smirked at you demanding him to read the paper, "Alright, alright calm down," he said, starting to read the paper. He read it rather quickly, his eyes picking up on keywords. In moments his mouth broke into a huge grin, he had read how your artwork was being framed in a rather well known gallery.
"No way, is this real?" he asked, in shock at how you finally accomplished your dreams.
You nodded frantically, "Yes, it's already up, but the exhibit opens next week," you told him.
Not being able to contain his excitement for you, he moved around the counter, hugging you. He even spun you around a couple times, proud of you for your accomplishment.
"I can't believe it," he said, smiling down at you after he set you down, "We have to celebrate, how long are you in town for?" he asked.
You shrugged, "I don't know, how long do you want me to stay?" you ask a seemingly innocent question, since you weren't in any rush to leave.
Jess could feel his brain short circuit at that moment. He desperately wanted to say 'forever', but knew that couldn't, "My shift ends at 6, so you can come back around then, and if you want you can find somewhere to crash for the night, then leave in the morning," Jess said, trying not to think of how you might have to leave at some point.
"Perfect," you said, "I'll come back around 6 then, I'll see you later," you told him, walking out of Luke's diner. You were gonna spend the next two hours touring around town and some of the small shops.
Jess didn't realize it until now, but the entire diner had been quiet since the moment you walked in. Everyone was in utter shock that the delinquent Jess Mariano, who was known for not caring for anyone, was just seen with a girl, who he was looking at as if she was the only important thing in this world.
"What are you all staring at," he yelled, making everyone go back to their usual activities, now that regular Jess was back. He turned to Luke who was still staring at him, "What, why are you looking at me like that?" he asked, annoyed at everyone.
"Nothing," Luke said, too tired to deal with this. You didn't know it yet, but soon you would be the talk of the town. The girl who was able to make Jess Mariano, actually care for someone.
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late night talking
phd!student eren x f!reader
**part of my canary mate fic
--
[lizontopoftheworld]: do you ever think weâve met in real life?Â
[busstopbilly]: Iâd like to think that I would remember that.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: what do you meanâŚ
[busstopbilly]: I mean, Iâd like to think that I would just be able to tell if I saw you out there in the real world.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: so youâre deluluâŚgot itâŚ
[busstopbilly]: Delulu?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: fun way to say delusionalÂ
[busstopbilly]: Itâs not delusional to think I would be able to recognize you.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: you donât even know what i look likeÂ
[busstopbilly]: Are you so materialistic? Is that the only way people can recognize one another?
[lizontopoftheworld]: are you insinuating that there is some alternative way unbeknownst to me that people can recognize one another?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: i must be living under a rock!Â
[busstopbilly]: Or youâre just feeble minded.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: feeble is crazy btw
[busstopbilly]: :)Â
[busstopbilly]: I like to keep you on your toes.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: OK OH WISE ONE. tell me how you would be able to recognize me with the very limited information you haveâŚÂ
[busstopbilly]: Limited? I like to think I know you very well. You and all of your deep dark secrets.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: always one for theatricsâŚ
[busstopbilly]: Nothing as theatrical as buying a replacement of the class fish you killed on the week you were supposed to take care of it.
[lizontopoftheworld]: THAT WAS ONE TIME OH MY FUCKING GODÂ
[busstopbilly]: Are you insinuating that murder is okay if it was only one time? :)
[lizontopoftheworld]: im just a girlâŚ
[busstopbilly]: Iâd be able to recognize you if I saw you out in the real world because Iâm pretty sure we knew each other in another life.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: :OÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: :OOÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: :OOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[busstopbilly]: Are you broken?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: ONLY MY HEART :((((
[busstopbilly]: Are you deflecting because you donât want to say something serious in response?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: :/
[lizontopoftheworld]: ://////////
[busstopbilly]: Are you scared to say it back because I make you nervous?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: >:(((((((
[lizontopoftheworld]:: >:(((((((((((((((
[busstopbilly]: Liz.Â
[busstopbilly]: Come on.
[busstopbilly]: Tell me what you really think.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: âŚ
[busstopbilly]: Itâs just me, you know.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: sometimes you say things that iâve thought for a long time really out loudÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: i live in my own head sometimes, so much so, that i think that most of the things that i think are outrageous or ostentatious â a complete figment of my imagination that iâve just made up.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: that could never be real.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: it just throws me off when theyâre coming out of your metaphorical online mouth.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: âŚit reminds me iâm not crazyâŚbecause you think those things tooâŚÂ
[busstopbilly]: :)Â
[busstopbilly]: Maybe that does make you crazy. But maybe the same type of crazy as me.
[lizontopoftheworld]: well either way itâs very comforting
[lizontopoftheworld]: i feel so out of placeâŚalmost all the timeâŚitâs nice to know sometimes that itâs not an original thoughtâŚthat other people do think like that tooÂ
[busstopbilly]: So you think weâve met in another life?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: ding ding dingÂ
[busstopbilly]: What do you think weâre doing there?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: something coolÂ
[busstopbilly]: Iâd be a soccer player.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: didnât u tell me a story about how u literally used to cheat in pe when you were in grade school?
[busstopbilly]: Hence the alternate universe.Â
[busstopbilly]: Either way, I think weâd be the same as we are now.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: such a romantic notion for your canary mate. you know we only know each other bc of an algorithm rightâŚ
[busstopbilly]: Wrong.Â
[busstopbilly]: Defeats the whole purpose of the âwe knew each other in another lifeâ notion.Â
[busstopbilly]: We were always going to meet. It just happened to be an algorithm this time around.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: you know, you kind of get delirious around three amâŚÂ
[busstopbilly]: You love it.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: :DDDDDÂ
[busstopbilly]: Good night, Liz.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: good night billy boy!!!! <3Â
--
âi hooked up with my canary mate.âÂ
you feel your eyes widen, as you shoot out of your desk chair and peek over the little divider, to where jean â one of the fellow phd students in your computational neuroscience program â is chatting with connie.Â
you must make some measure of a strange noise because they look over at you, connie giving you a sweet wave, while jean smirks.Â
âhear something that tickled your fancy, newbie?â jean asks.Â
âyou hooked up with your canary mate?â you whisper.Â
âi wish i had a canary mate. we could have started a pyramid scheme together or something.â connie states.Â
shiganshina university has a weird set of rituals that the student body engages in. dipping into each of the fountains during finals week to get good grades on your exams, eating breakfast at midnight the first day of classes in the student union, and an algorithm that finds you the perfect friend.Â
canary mates. an old student in the computational data sciences had made it for his thesis project, a preliminary algorithm for a dating website, that would pair incoming students with someone they would be compatible with as friends.Â
you filled out a simple survey â questions ranging from your favorite color to your philosophies on life. and at the end of it, all of the answers were scored and fed through an algorithm that found you your perfect pair, a fellow shiganshina canary to be friends with.
the usernames remained anonymous to protect participant privacy, though most people tended to reveal themselves upon first message â just to promptly never talk to one another again.Â
unless youâre jean. you hook up with them instead. or unless youâre you â because youâve been talking to your canary mate every day for the past nine months now.Â
âthey donât do that for the staffers?â you ask.Â
connie is the administrative assistant at the research lab you matched into with the program â the shiganshina interdisciplinary brain research group. he was a recent graduate from marley technical institute with a masters in business administration, who assisted with all the clerical aspects of the lab.Â
you appreciated connie more than most people. only because the soft skills and things like that were lost to you â the type of things that you canât google, like etiquette with visiting professors and why you need to network on linkedin â were always the ones connie remembered to explain to you, without shame.
you have a hunch that erwin had asked him to do it. he was freakishly intuitive in that way, though you suppose thatâs what made him perfect for his job as the director of the lab. it was part of the job description â reading people, maximizing almost every thing for the best gainâ which in his case, was making sure that his phd students knew what they were doing.Â
âstaffers donât deserve sexy online hookups apparently.â connie states.Â
a few feet way, you hear an irritated sigh, your line of vision treating you to the most annoying sight known to man â eren jaeger setting up for the day at his desk.Â
âyou know, one day youâll get reported to hr connie.â eren states.Â
âjean, are you going to report me to hr?â connie asks.Â
jean shakes his head.Â
ây/n, are you going to report me to hr?âÂ
you smirk.
ânot without a big fat kiss on your cheek to go with it!â you joke, earning you a laugh from the two of them.Â
eren rolls his eyes.
âwhat the hell are you even talking about?â eren asks, setting his bag down as he pulls up the stand up desk and starts connecting his displays.Â
âjean was talking about how he hooked up with his canary mate.â you state.Â
erenâs eyes widen.Â
âyou did what?â eren asks.Â
jean nods, but not before immediately straightening up against the wall and sheepishly rubbing his hand around the back of his neck â a natural response to the sight of mikasa suddenly appearing at his side.Â
mikasa ackerman was quiet, a cold kind of pretty, and the sweetest lab coordinators that you had ever worked with. she was one of the applicants in the previous round of phd students â and unfortunately, the only one from her close knit group who didnât make it.Â
eren, jean, armin, annie, and sasha were all members of the bridge program that linked with the neuroscience undergraduate degree. mikasa was apparently one of the brightest members of the bunch, but for some reason, wasnât accepted when time came around. she was taking the year to pad her resume before she tried again.
âwhat are we talking about?â mikasa asks.Â
âabout how jean ho-â connie starts.Â
ânothing! we arenât talking about anything mikasa! how was your weekend?â jean asks.Â
âit was great, jean! thank you for asking.â she responds.
âhe was talking about how he hooked up with his canary mate that he got matched with when he linked with the graduate programs.â eren states, not even stopping to look up from his computer.Â
you watch as jean visibly pinkens at the blunt nature of erenâs words and donât miss how mikasaâs eye twitches in the slightest, before she presses her laptop closer to her chest. and youâre sure it stings â knowing the guy you liked hooked up with someone else or perhaps even worse, being reminded that you were left out of yet another thing, even something as arbitrary as a canary mate â because you werenât the only one who was accepted into the program.Â
the group of them awkwardly shuffle away, connie and mikasa heading over to their meeting in the fishbowl conference room, as jean walks over to the mri imaging room to test out the equipment. and you spare eren one glance â one glance â before he makes his very first irritating comment of the day.Â
âdo you have something you want to say to me, newbie?âÂ
you shake your head.Â
âi can tell you do. so why donât you just come out and say it?â eren asks, tone scathing.Â
you brush the lint off the hem of your skirt. eren always seemed to intrude into space like that. if erwin thought that connie needed to teach you the sleight of hands to interacting with people in a professional setting, you figured that eren would probably need some lessons in keeping his thoughts to himself.Â
âi thought that was a little bit mean.â you state.Â
eren scoffs.Â
âthey obviously like each other. and it was clear that he didnât want her to know, so maybe you should have just kept it to yourself like connie and i did.âÂ
eren averts his gaze from his computer for the first time, piercing green eyes that meet yours, but not as piercing as his words.Â
âyou donât think mikasa deserves to know if theyâre going to talk to each other?âÂ
you scoff.Â
âthey arenât even together yet. he would obviously divulge that eventually if they were talking for real. youâre kind of nipping them in the bud before they can even get there.â you state.Â
âwhy do you talk like that?âÂ
you feel your throat dry.Â
âlike what?âÂ
âthe words you use. kind ofâŚmaybeâŚ. you donât sound very confident when you speak.â he responds, his voice flat.
eren hits a nerve. he hits a nerve like he always does, in the way that only he can, and itâs infuriating. so infuriating that you feel the need to fight back.Â
it had been like that since you met him. on the very first day, you walked up to him â the only person in the phd program that you really knew, because he was the son of world famous neuroscientist grisha jaeger â and introduced yourself. and ever since then, he was always keen on showing you exactly who he was â an egotistical prick.Â
it drove you crazy. everything about him drove you crazy.Â
 âwe canât all be as arrogant as you, eren.â you state.Â
erenâs eye twitches.Â
âand we canât all be pushovers like you either, l/n.âÂ
you roll your eyes, dragging your feet open to the cubicle as you quickly click to the open tab, fingers coming in fast and hot as you type, a burning sensation tingling in the back of your eyes.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: IâM GOING TO KILL HIMÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: IâM GOING TO TAKE ONE OF THE SYRINGES IN THE LAB AND SHOVE IT INTO HIS EYE SOCKET TILL HE BLEEDSÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: STUPID ARROGANT PRICK IM LITERALLY GOING TO BE ON THE NEWSÂ
[busstopbilly]: Good morning, Liz.Â
[busstopbilly]: What a way to start the day. What happened?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: STUPID FUCKING IDIOT ANNOYING GUY I TOLD U ABOUT JUST HAD TO BE A FUCKING PRICK THIS EARLY IN THE MORNINGÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: HE WAS JUST DOUBTING ME LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES BC I KNOW HE DOESNâT WANT ME TO BE HERE OR HE THINKS I DONâT DESERVE TO BEÂ
[busstopbilly]: Hey.Â
[busstopbilly]: You deserve to be there. What the prick thinks doesnât matter.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: iâm so frustrated I WILL KILL HIMÂ
[busstopbilly]: I fear youâre incriminating me as an accomplice to murder.Â
[busstopbilly]: So very flattered Iâve been chosen as your closest confidante.Â
[busstopbilly]: I know that you think he has something over you because his family has ties to research and has been in the field for years.Â
[busstopbilly]: That doesnât make him better than you.Â
[busstopbilly]: Iâd argue that the spot that you hold is way more important. You actually bring something new to the table.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: yeah yeah i know i worked to be here im capable blah blah blah blahÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: just doesnât feel that way sometimesÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: i guess iâll just put my head down and do the work to prove myselfÂ
[busstopbilly]: Thatâs my girl.Â
[busstopbilly]: Youâve got this.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: i hope ur morning is better than mineâŚ
[busstopbilly]: Quite the contrary. I fear I was told only a few minutes prior that the devil himself will be making an appearance today.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: NO WAY
[lizontopoftheworld]: YOUR DAD?Â
[busstopbilly]: The one and only.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: youâll get through it. itâs just one day.Â
[busstopbilly]: Quite hopeful of you. Weâll see how it goes.Â
[lizonstopoftheworld]: HE WONâT STOP U DOCTOR BILLY!!!!Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: MEDICAL DOCTOR BILLYÂ
itâs the first time erenâs smiled since his early meeting with hange at the coffee shop. he should have known something was strange from the start â his weekly meeting being pushed up to the start of the day, being offered free coffee â sweetness like that only came from hange when they thought it was something that was warranted.Â
and seeing his dad was no easy feat. unfortunately for him, word had somehow gotten out to his dad that he had deflected to a clinical study with the shiganshina medical school neurosurgery department â something that warranted him coming all the way down here to discuss it with him personally.Â
he was anticipating the same problem as usual. another check in to make sure that eren was staying focused on his career â his career in academia â and that he was holding up to his family name. he came from a family of sixth generation neuroscientists and he wasnât going to be the one to break the streak now.Â
which killed his dreams of being a medical doctor in his tracks. all of the stuff that he got to do in undergrad was afforded to him because his dad thought it was just a phase â him working as a first responder, volunteering at free health clinics â before he was harshly put in line at the end of his senior year.Â
it was looking rather bleak a year into his phd. but hange was trying to help him as much as they could.Â
[busstopbilly]: Funny.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: :PPPPPÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: you will do what you want to do or so help me GOD.Â
[busstopbilly]: Not really how that works, Liz.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: eh.Â
[lizontopoftheworld[: iâll get you there >:)Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: you will be a doctor, billy.Â
[busstopbilly]: Youâre very hopeful, Liz. I like that about you.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: MARRY ME!Â
--
âwhat did you do as an undergrad for research?â gabi asks.Â
every week, there are two mandatory in person days that everyone has to be present in the laboratory. monday for lab meetings, where everyone cycles through presenting their research or relevant papers, and wednesdays, for team building lab lunches.Â
part of levi and hangeâs grant money is allocated to pay for the lunches every week, as part of team building and more casual discourse about what everyone was working on.Â
âarmin, eren, and i actually did research here. armin and i had been here since our sophomore year but eren joined us when he was a senior.â mikasa states.Â
âwe actually used to be in your spot, if that gives you any hope.â armin offers, giving her and falco a smile.Â
falco and gabi are the only two undergraduate students who are involved over the summer. thereâs usually a set of five or six undergraduate students that assist during the calendar year, but the two of them had applied and been selected to partake in a competitive summer research fellowship, which afforded you their presence now.Â
falco was going to be assisting you on the magnetic stimulation project that you were working on; you had taken on mentoring him, alongside levi, for the past few months in preparation for the fellowship and his eventual application to a phd program at the end of the year. he was a sweet kid, one that very hauntingly reminded you of yourself, and in a weird way â it almost made you determined to see him succeed.Â
gabi was working with eren on the new clinical study that he was going to be doing under hange, since she had eventual goals to pursue a career in clinical psychology. she was a sneaky applicant, meaning she didnât come into it as prepared as falco. and unfortunately enough, eren left her to her own devices to figure things on her own a lot of the time â and you appreciated that she had yet to be discouraged. she was determined to prove herself.Â
âi used to do research under nanaba in the maternal health lab. i spent all of undergrad doing a research study on the neurological changes that different birth control brands cause.â sasha states.Â
sasha is the person that you feel closest to in the lab, besides maybe connie. she was definitely the most personable of the group â the most of them being a little more awkward and reserved â and she was always willing to help you out when you needed it.Â
she was a big personality. and youâre sure that itâs the part of you deep down thatâs messed up â that gets jealous, that doesnât work like a real person â but there are rare moments throughout the day that she makes you feel small. and consequently, disgusting, because youâre unsure how someone sweet could bring out something so sour in you.Â
it said more about you than it did about her.
âannie and i worked with shadis over in the physical therapy department. they worked with technical eeg sometimes, which was mainly what we were focused in since we knew we wanted to come here eventually.â jean states.Â
falco looks over at you, offering you a sympathetic smile, as gabi turns over to you, eyes expectant.Â
âand you?â gabi asks.Â
you shove your fork deep into the leaves of the salad.Â
âi didnât go here for undergrad. you wouldnât know where i came from.â you state.
gabi gives you a nod, as she dives deep into asking sasha about her experiences with working under nanaba, as you feel your cheeks glowing under the heat. you werenât embarrassed of it â in fact, very determined to not be embarrassed of it â but sometimes it felt like a stark reminder that you were the only one who got to the same place in a different way.Â
you quickly type underneath the table.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: do you ever feel like youâll never belong, no matter what you do?Â
three feet way, at the very end of the table, erenâs having the most uncomfortable conversation amongst the crowd. nestled in between hange and levi, across from his dad and erwin, his brain feels like itâs heavy.Â
âi just donât understand the direction that weâre taking with his thesis. this doesnât really match the psychosocial work that he was doing before.â grisha states.Â
âheâs just trying something new. it doesnât have to go in his thesis.â hange offers.Â
eren watches as his eye twitches.Â
âmy fear here is that this will become the main focus of his thesis. i would just prefer for him to be focusing on his goal here.â grisha asserts.Â
eren watches as levi clenches his jaw.Â
âitâs a holistic program, dr. jaeger. we would be doing your son a disservice, as a researcher and neuroscientist, if we kept him soâŚrazor focused on one thing.â levi responds.Â
âi donât think eren is even qualified to work with these patient populations. he doesnât have a license or the experience.â grisha states.Â
âwe have the tools to help him here. thatâs a non-issue.â hange offers.Â
âwe appreciate the advisement and the direction, dr. jaeger, and we will keep you updated as things will progress. eren is very bright and motivated, that much is sure, and i can promise you myself that he will be just as successful and fulfilled as you would like him to be.â erwin offers.Â
it was ironic. but eren knew that erwin was just playing to the role that he had to play here â being the diplomat that he was trained to be. and while the words were laced with politeness, the message was there â that his call was final. and while erwinâs direction alway seemed to place people in the most ideal situations, eren always felt like he was going to get the short end of the deal wherever he went.Â
he got a clinical study, but his dad will stop him from pursing it too much. the clinical study is close to what he wants to do, but not exactly. heâll spend his entire life three steps behind where he wants to go and unable to do anything to stop it.Â
he looks at his phone under the table and it softens the terseness in his chest.Â
[busstopbilly]: All the time, Liz.Â
he watches the little typing bubbles appear, before fighting the urge to smile fully.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: <3Â
--
âdo you have a minute?âÂ
you look up from the lines of code to find levi â your thesis advisor and mentor â peering over the wall of your cubicle, eyes expectant as they wait for an answer. you give him a nod, following his gesture, as you make the way down to the office.Â
leviâs stoic. very stoic and sometimes you donât know how to act. but in a weird way, sometimes thatâs what you appreciate about him â that it doesnât take a lot of effort, that you donât have to rehearse what it is that youâre going to say to him for small talk in the mirror, because you can almost count on the fact that he wonât oblige to that anyways.Â
hange and eren are at his desk, eyes pouring over a document on erenâs laptop, as you give them a wave and take the seat next to levi. eren swallows hard â and you note that the rims of his eyes are red â before focusing in on what levi is saying.Â
âyou do have that experience, right?â levi asks.Â
you look over at him, before giving him an awkward smile.Â
âsorry, what?âÂ
âyou used to be a behavioral technician, right? back in marley?â levi clarifies.Â
âoh! yes, yes, i did. why do you ask?âÂ
levi nods, before sliding a set of files over to you.Â
âerenâs working on a clinical study. we talked with the administrators at the hospital and the college about it and theyâd prefer if someone who had experience working with similar patient populations was working on this with him.âÂ
you open up the file to see the letters in bright bold lettering, staring back at you. and it makes your throat itch a little bit, as you look back up at levi.Â
âright, so what do i need to do?â you ask.Â
âyouâll just accompany eren when he needs to converse with patients, at the minimum. youâre welcome to take on more of a lead role with eren if you would like.âÂ
you look over at eren, who looks deeply unhappy that he has to succumb to getting help from the likes of someone like you, and itâs quite possibly the only reason that you decide youâre going to do it.Â
and it irritates eren. irritates eren that his dad was able to butt in enough to convice everyone that he needed a babysitter, and that heâd need to be around you more than the allocated two hours that he saw you every week. Â
âof course.â you offer.Â
and at the end of the very long day, when eren can finally quietly drive home and settle into his bed, he indulges in the only part of the day that he can enjoy. the one part of his day where he isnât grisha jaegerâs son or a phd student or a neuroscientist â he was just eren. or billy, if he was going to focus on semantics.
[busstopbilly]: Liz.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: no hello? no good evening? no how was your day?
[busstopbilly]: Hello. Good evening. How was your day?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: hi billy boy! good evening to you too <3 my day was dogshitÂ
[busstopbilly]: Me too.Â
[busstopbilly]: Did the prick do anything else?Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: not rllyÂ
[lizontopoftheworld]: i just donât get why he doesnât like me and it drives me crazy. i donât want to assume that itâs because of my background or anything like that, because i canât fathom that people would actually be like that, but it canât help but feel that way :/Â
[busstopbilly]: Unfortunately, I think heâs just going to be the first of a very long list of pricks that you meet in academia.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: yeahâŚjust feels really bleak that my parents and i likeâŚdid so much to get me here and i still wonât ever belongÂ
[busstopbilly]: Youâll call the shots one day.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: how was the talk with daddy-o
[busstopbilly]: It irritates me that he can weasel his way into everything. I would like to have something thatâs just mine.Â
[busstopbilly]: Like, when I was in school as a kid, when I was an undergraduate student. Even the friends I hadâŚ
[busstopbilly]: I hate that heâs everywhere.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: was ur dad the guy who created the canary mate algorithmÂ
[busstopbilly]: No.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: boom. you have something thatâs just yours.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: me.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: ;)Â
eren feels his cheeks blush an embarrassing shade of red.
[busstopbilly]: Quit flirting.Â
[busstopbilly]: Iâm going to fall in love with you.Â
you bite down hard into your cheek, before turning over in your sheets to the cool side of your bed. because this was definitively the best part of the day â the late night talking that you indulged in. because it was the one place where you werenât you, where he couldnât hold anything about your background or your past against you, and had to take what you were at face value. you were just you.Â
[lizontopoftheworld]: that was the plan all along :)
--
next part linked here
an: sorry ive been going through a lot and haven't written stuff lately. I actually was being randomly very critical of how this came out and just decided to yolo and post what I have
lmk if you want to be on the taglist!
#canary mate#eren#eren x you#eren x reader#eren x y/n#eren fluff#eren angst#seeingivywrites!#eren jaeger#eren jaeger x you#eren jaeger x reader#eren jaeger x y/n#eren jaeger fluff#eren jaeger angst#eren yeager#eren yeager x you#eren yeager x reader#eren yeager x y/n#eren yeager fluff#eren yeager angst#aot#aot x you#aot x reader#aot x y/n#aot fluff#aot angst#snk#snk x you#snk x reader#snk x y/n
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