#of course! how could i be so stupid!
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we have been sleeping on the possibility that if liz is vicki's mom dick garner is her dad. roger is just the red herring. vicki's gothic, wretched, incestuous boyfriend the whole time is FRANK ‼️‼️
#it's been staring us in the face the whole time. it's in the name. DICK GARNER. in BANGOR.#of course! how could i be so stupid!#he's in on it. immediately phones liz when vicki starts asking questions about her parentage and helps cover it up.#the money comes from where? bangor. the math is mathing.#and frank promised her he'd help her dig through the records to find out who her parents are. and what came of that?#we heard nothing more about it. evidently came upon some information he did not care for.#it's always the boring white bread law school perry mason rejects you don't expect to actually be your half brother that wants to marry you#➤ ooc. ┊ she’s nauseous,she’s hysterical,and exhausted.#i am of course joking but this is the one and only thing that would make her relationship with frank even mildly interesting
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I love libraries.
I'm browsing the WWI shelves (as you do) and notice a very old book about the war. I glance at the first pages that talk about how one day the war will be over and we'll look at this place and not see any signs of the battlefield.
Then it hits me. And I check the publishing date.
This book was printed before the war's end. Not written. Printed. The physical object was created in 1918, while the war in question was raging and the end was as yet uncertain.
Now I'm standing on the other side of the apocalypse, with this physical link to that era in my hands. I'm living proof that the war did end and life did go on and we can all look at the end of the world as a long-ago memory.
Reading old books is cool enough, connecting our minds and hearts through the ideas of people who lived long ago, but there's something extra profound about holding a copy of the book that comes from the time that it was written. It's a physical link between the past and the present connecting me to those long-ago people. A piece of the past come into the future that gives me the chance to almost take the hand of some long-ago reader, to hold something they could have held, connecting not just mentally but physically to their era, a moment of connection across more than a century.
Excuse me while I go weep.
#books#history is awesome#of course i checked it out#i had no real intent to read wwi non-fic but i couldn't just leave my new friend there it'd be lonely#i want to break out in tears every time i look at it#it's so stupid but sometimes something stupid just kicks you straight in the heart and you just gotta deal#it's old front line by john masefield#i know nothing about it except thinking the author's name sounded vaguely familiar#also the interior design is fantastic#these old books know how to use white space and make something super readable#if you must know i was in the wwi section because i was at the history museum the other day#and saw a local author had a book of wwi letters#thought i'd see if the library had it#looked at the selection of non-fic surrounding it and thought of the wwi persuasion#saw many books that could be useful#and thought 'oh no this looks like fun'#it won't go anywhere i know i won't be able to focus long enough to do real research#but darn if it wasn't an appealing little daydream
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🌅 MetaDede Week 2024 Day 5 & 6: AU & Secrets 🌅
(ID: Kirby series fanart comic of a moment in King Dedede and Meta Knight’s youth, when - during a trip to the beach with their friends - the teenaged penguin realizes that he might feel more than just friendship for his little winged buddy. Transcript in Alt Text. END ID.)
Oh.
Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/mtddweek)
Started 08/20/24, finished 08/24/24. | Childhood Friends AU Masterpost
#veins art#veins ocs#veins ships#veins fanart#kirby series#kirby#king dedede#meta knight#original character#oc#kirby oc#para dee#bow dee#assorted background characters#childhood friends AU#king dedede x meta knight#metadede#mtddweek2024#day 5#AU#day 6#secrets#description in alt text#yeesh took him long enough - Meta figured this out *years* ago (… not that he knows that of course)#when you enter a state of de-de-distress so acute you become a marketable plushie#"what do you MEAN I’ve been in love with him this whole time?? how could this have happened??”#(oof this one fought me hard guys holy stars)#(the amount of times I redid those poses and the rendering and the stupid palm trees… and the number of laYeRS in the file… ugh)#(still. I’m EXTREMELY happy with how it came out! and the bottom panel kept me in good spirits during the whole hellish rendering process)#veinsfullofstars
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post covid south park game where everyone still calls you the new kid but you're a grown ass adult who has lived there for thirty years
#stan marsh#fanart#south park#south park post covid#redraw#it's actually embarrassing how much i've thought about post covid south park game#if you guys want to hear about my thoughts let me know#for example i was thinking that in-line with the fact they're grownups and the game would not be roleplay based#there'd be a relationship system where the closer you are to a character the more likely they are to listen to your commands#so when you start out they'd just be like 'dude i'm not doing that.'#i was thinking it could be based around victor and kenny messing around in the future and creating some whacked up strain of covid#have you guys ever watched idiocracy? cause yeah the strain would just#make people cartoonishly stupid#so of course its up to You and the team you build to take care of it#i think i might be autistic
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UNLOCKED SCORCHING SUN (sunburst fever) DANTE ! (Spoilers? Here is a short summary of my reactions):
-eiden i live for the cheesy things you say when you wanna bone someone. ehehehehe when the corny roleplay actually works too well🎶🎵
-oh um 😳 eiden getting himself off bygrinding against Dante's leg ahaha💦💦 ok uhhh 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦
- THE CONFUSED SPUTTERING WHEN EIDEN GETS SUDDENLY BLUE BALLED🤣🤣
-oh shir dante lore drop
-oh SGIT DAnte is working even harder than i thought just to make an equal society like,, dude,, that is sO MUCH to take on YOU ARE ONLY A BABY. BUT YOU TRY TO FIX CENTURIES OF INJUSTICE 😭
-aawwww...... gentle.....🥹
-DAMMIT EIDEN STOP BRATTING FOR 60SECONDS AAHHHHHAJAJAhaha oihh ahhhh
-dante is like the Grinch he doesn't know what the dokidoki in his chest is (.it's his heart) but. He'll get it one day
- they're cute 😭 and funny 😭😭 and eiden's "why do *i* have to go" is so... PETULANT i love them they're bickering idiots 🥳
ah, correction*: why "THE HELL HAVE" i gotta go. to be fair, that is a mild reaction to dante suddenly cockblocking him from himself(?). yeah. selfish lover moment deserves at MINIMUM that amount of sass 🤣
#danei#you know i wondered what the official ship name is for them because dantei was my instinctive thought#but i guess that could be mixed up with someone just trying to type Dante and they made a typo#i guess danei in that case is more PURPOSEFUL. like YES i had to STOP before typing out dante's full name#i was used to seeing eiden all... understanding and gentle and sweet with yaku#that his dante dynamic knocked me slightly askew (positive)#i love being reminded of eiden's range... bc all his clan members are such different individuals......#of course he caters to them differently... so powerful and adaptable#i really just wanna swaddle dante and put him in a restful burrito like srsly that guy needs a break#a break where things will not fall apart without him and everything is fine and he learns to rely on others#honestly i don't know how he's not MORE pissed off all the time. if i had to deal with what he deals with daily...#murder spree. or catatonic learned helplessness. there will be no in-between#anyway i hope these two figure more things out together and help each other be stupid without consequence :)#i want them pushing and shoving each other in the fields like schoolkids and yelling the blandest insult comebacks at each other#too bad neither of them can use the “YOUR MOM” finishing blow#or maybe it's funnier... if they both learn to use “YOUR MOM” with perfect timing#that's when their relationship will be in their final form. strong and evolved. beyond mortal comprehension#nu carnival dante#enei
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there's something interesting to be said about how nickel's female friends have to constantly school him on how horrible he is but animationepic won't say it
#melonposting#spoof#<- kinda#ii neg#<- also kinda#i hate nickel. i need to kin balloon just so i can experience dropping nickel into that stupid cereal box pit#also y'know what to those people who think nickel loves clover... you're right he is kinda obsessed with her#in that he hates her so much for something that he wants (being a likable/good/happy person) <- according to my interpretation anyway#of course he doesn't want/know how to put in the effort to have it#suitcase screamed at him (as she should've) and that didn't go through his thick skull#only clover in her infinite gentleness and grace could let him know that perhaps he should say sorry for harassing someone all their life :#and even then it isn't sincere#like please don't tell me any of you took his 5-second bizarrely emotionally intelligent notes app apology seriously. good god#like i dunno it was just like clover said to apologize and he said 'on it boss'#or what are we just gonna believe that ae was like. y'know what? this guy just needs to say he's sorry#once#out of nowhere#and we won't have to worry about the horrible things he's done to people (cough cough suitcase)#like heck even if balloon accepts this bs it doesn't do jack for her (not like he should anyway)#this idiot's just so far in the socioemotional gutter that after doing a series of horrible things (which he's been made well aware of)#he'll only so much as acknowledge that he did them if it means he gets friendship points from ae's princess celestia#good god man you're not the leader of a stupid team anymore. get over yourself#the funny thing is that the only excuse for his writing lately is basically a headcanon on my end#i'm just reading into this nonsense. as far as i know he's just being written horribly haha#he's interesting to think about in the lens of 'guy who wants to be happy/good/likeable but does not actually care about anyone'#but if i'm being honest with myself to ae he's just 'jerk who's actually nice now. no he isn't. yes he is for real this time (believe us)'#whatever i need to go to bed
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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I need a therapist who I can argue with and who will give me jewish advice ....a rabbi. I need a rabbi
#afakelj#seriously though#i thought my last therapist was good!#and then i tried to change some stuff and do some arguing#and the reaction was... mrrrgh#also idk. i feel like.... i don't want to have to update the therapist about what is happening in my life#which is stupid! of course i should they've got many patients#but i feel like what i just sit there talking about my week? i do that to my friends already#i'd like a situation where they knew me enough to already have a general idea of what was going on#so i could meet with them less frequently. say once a month#and then we could work on a specific problem i'm having and i could get advice on that and see how that's working out#i really think of therapy as brain and emotions doctor and where i'm at now i want...more jewish methods of dealing with life?#does this make any sense#.....a bubbe would also work in a different but similar way. i need one of them too T.T#but you see i pay the rabbi by dues to the synagogue. so i just have to find a synagogue i like (lmao just)#i have to marry someone and start raising grandchildren to pay the bubbe
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do you guys think daigo had to make an apology video after his company got called out or whatever
#infinite wealth spoilers#fucking i guess id ont know#snap chats#no one touch this post im drawing it later at some point probably#im still thinking about how stupid this is but im also laughing#like Im So Sorry This Company That Was Publicly Founded On Rehabilitating Yakuza Has Ex-Yakuza In It#said by th ex-chairman. who was on tv.#like i dont imagine theyd try to hide this fact tf even there to expose. Fork Found In Kitchen we know we're hiring ex-yakuza#im p sure he said there were rumors. would be great if we saw those rumors or saw how bad they were so i could believe this !!#like with ichi and the gang we saw how their shit was manipulated i can buy it but i just gotta believe it here. OK.#anyway wheres daigos apology video im gonna throw up. do you think it was majimas idea to make one#jk of course it was
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Jackie realizing she’s gonna have to take care of shauna and jeff’s ghost baby
#🐇#yellowjackets#truly it’s so interesting to me how much better this season is than the first that literally never happens for me#the current timeline is finally getting interesting. Jeff is still the best part#love how fast misty took to being a cult that is so her™️#Jackie liking poppies is interesting to me both in the Jackie is gay camp and also you know the whole thing with wizard oz and her death#the ending was so fucking depressing I need a nap now#like I’m so happy they didn’t eat the baby that would have been so incredibly cheap but glad to finally have answers#like do we think shauna was dreaming or had she temporarily crossed over because like where was Jackie and the French dude#I’d say it would make sense that Lottie could be there somehow#idk it reminded me a lot of Jackie’s death of course so I have many questions#I will say the cop story line is pretty stupid like no fucking way is any of this legal and also let’s kill that creep cop shauna#I will help you girl I will drive the get away car#I was also like wondering awhile ago if Lottie’a camp is near where the plane crash was#and my best friend and I were like no there’s no way and then they tell us it’s in New York so like possibly close to the boarder?#I tried looking up cherry hill but I couldn’t find anything idk it’s probably totally unlikely and they just also happen to be in the woods#I didn’t get a preview for next week is there a preview? idk#my complaint this week is where is Jackie lmfao where is her ghost why wasn’t she in sex ed give me something I’m not ready to move on!!!!
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Lookie what I got! The rarest of collector's editions, with only one in existence! (There's an @ symbol in place of a © on the title page.)
(There's only one because I fixed it after I ordered my proof copy.)
Someday this will be very valuable, for sure!
#optimism ftw#why yes I do feel a bit stupid for that rather boneheaded error#but instead of dwelling on that I'd rather think about how much people will surely appreciate it years in the future#my writer friends are very talented you see#and there are some great stories in here#I like to think that someday the anthologies we put together will be looked back on in amazement#because how could so many famous writers have known each other from the start?#it's a nice thought#no idea what the future really holds of course#but I enjoy this possible future#just like I enjoy writing about Narcissus as a vampire who wants a reflection#and the walking-out-of-the-underworld Orpheus & Eurydice story as cyberpunk#there are many other cool things in here#and it comes out soon!#and pre-orders are up!#everywhere but Amazon for some aggravating reason!#clearly they are Too Big To Fail and no one is going to give them a proper kick in the pants for not getting their act together#like they were supposed to weeks ago#here's hoping their page works by launch day at least#we'll see#anyways!#yay I have my proof copy!#and it looks good!#I did the cover myself#my objectivity is shot but I think it turned out nice and professional#Shatterlore#book recs#indie author life#bookblr
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#mathieu van der poel#wout van aert#So much. To say about this i cant even caption it because im going crazy#First of all matje little shoulders walking in. awesome. touching his own ass as an idle animation. my favorite. wout ALSO doing this#right after he does? ok. also them walking up the stairs... why do i go so crazy over walking#the MAIN attraction of this video of course being matje growling. HELLOOO BABYBYYY????#All of his little faces i could actually die... What are you doing. also is it just me or did wout look kind of miserable today#even mathieu didnt look so excited but thats more normal#ALSO MATJE STUPID SITTING DOWN. AND THE BODY. AND ONCE AGAIN CANI JUST POINT OUT THE FACES#anyway how do i get one of those duck.s
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grief is like a really ugly couch
I think grief is like a really ugly couch. It never goes away. You can decorate around it; you can slap a doily on top of it; you can push it to the corner of the room—but eventually, you learn to live with it. ― Jodi Picoult, Leaving Time
#the mentalist#quotes#patrick jane#i would say web weaving but there's not a lot of web weaving happening#initially I also had a bit of an essay accompanying this but it disappeared because of a tumblr glitch + my own stupidity#and i'm too tired to write it prettily but i still wanna write it so it'll be in the tags#a cute little fun surprise for whoever cares about and reads tags#so i made a different post talking about jane's grief but i was upset i didn't have enough space for the couch (pun unintended)#and i was thinking this morning about this quote and jane's couch and how it could be interpreted as a physical manifestation of his grief#as well as his willingness to open up to people#1. i love grief; grief is important to me. grief is permanent and i have been aware of grief in a form of another (in my own personal life)#for a very very very long time. so to see it in this show is...significant to me. i cherish this#now onto the actual analyzing. of course they never intended the couch to be a symbol for grief; but it becomes so.#he leans on the couch when he opens the Red John files; for support most likely - and it's a beginning of the process of dealing with grief#he is the only one who uses the couch. everyone knows it as jane's couch#in S4E23 Cho uses it briefly to rest and Rigsby asks him if Jane knows he's using his couch#Erica tries briefly (also in S4) to sit on the couch but he doesn't allow her the space#in fact the only two people we see that use the couch are Teresa Lisbon and Dennis Abbott#and this is the part about emotional availability. he only shares the couch with people whom he trusts#With Lisbon twice even#the couch is grief and the couch is love; the couch is support#there's nostalgia for the CBI times but there's also more to it#and that quote makes me go absolutely feral because#'eventually you learn to live with it' 😭 eventually you learn to live with grief and eventually you learn to accept it as part from yself#andand he is happy to see the couch; he missed the couch#-> you are not free from your grief but in healing you learn that it's okay; you cherish your grief; it was there with you and for you#yea anyways i will never not go mad about grief and trauma and how it's portrayed and handled.#and i already have 2 more sorta-proper essays that i want to write on the topic asdgfhdhjk. yea i'm literally not gonna stop
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#Fifteen episode 2. Mmmmmmhhhhhh#The animation quality DOES get worse. This episode shows it lol#So many static frames stretching for so long... I feel so sorry for the animators.#I still stand by the fact that if studios can't provide enough budget or time to their animators seasons simply shouldn't be released.#But after all who am I to talk...#The scene of Dazai shooting at the soldier makes my blood freeze. Rimbaud throwing books in the fire is equally upsetting#Like I /know/ it's an anime about literature with constant metafiction references–#and that this too has a symbolic meaning and is *supposed* to be upsetting but that said.#Seeing whole books being thrown in the fire is such a disturbing sight that calls for such a visceral response in me 😭😭😭#The amv opening is nice! Makes me even more bitter about season 5 one lmao. Of the kind#“not only we had to get a amv opening (((while we deserved a wholly ss/kk focused opening)))‚ we even got a bad amv ending at that”#Mmmmhhhh I hateeeeeee how they handled the Sheep 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 Seriously this is just another bug instance of#“me and the author have WHOLLY different views of what human nature is like”#I just... Don't think... Children joining together in an hostile environment would act like that. I'm so much more of a t/pn kind of guy.#Children who come together to survive would protect each other and especially would trust each other. Why is there such a big lack of trust#Why doesn't Shirase trust Chuuya? Why doesn't Chuuya trust Shirase (with handling more information)? It's just dumb#It's dumb. It sounds stupid from the very plot aspect that Chuuya would act so shady and suspicious with the Sheep instead of being open–#about what his course of action is. It's like he was trying to have them turn on him. It's stupid of Shirase to mistrust Chuuya–#when in eight years he never gave them any reason to doubt of him.#And I know right as I'm writing this that someone is going to read it and think “you're completely missing on the unbalance of power that–#creates these dynamics of lack of trust” but the thing is exactly that I don't see why that unbalance of power would ever come to be!#They're all just kids. They're aware of that. If Chuuya never had malicious intentions towards Shirase‚ I don't see why he would ever fear–#his betrayal. Likewise‚ I don't see why Shirase and the other Sheep members would ever be so manipulative and disrespectful towards–#Chuuya if he's been nothing but kind to them (and we have no reason to think otherwise)?#It all comes down to: I think people are inherently good and willing to help each other. The author thinks not lmao. It is what it is#But I wish you could see t/pn. Where kids are constantly trying to outwit each other in order to OUT-SACRIFICE THEMSELVES for the others lo#I love t/pn it's my life... I miss it#random rambles#And if anyone would like to argue that Dazai specifically set them off to betray each other... Yes I DO understand that's what the story–#is suggesting. I just don't think Dazai - for how good. and infallible he is - is enough to scrape long-term relationships of trust.
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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.
#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever#my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything#i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad#my skin is bad though my skin sucks#in my eyes im disgusting#and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross#but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it#like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly#and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry#this is a problem i have#bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but#even though i am what i am#sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t#thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever#so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me#that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and#give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just#magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats#someday i will have irl friends again#sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just#this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom#i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change
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Inside me somewhere there will always be that very small child who sat down with her dad to play HIS favourite childhood game and her life was changed forever because that game was The Secret of Monkey Island and it shaped my humour and personality in ways I didn't think possible at the time
#I don't talk enough about my monkey island obsession#like did y'all know I could probably recite every puzzle in the first game start to finish#and I can do insult swordfighting perfectly of COURSE#how appropriate... you fight like a cow...#anyway this game means everything to me#but it doesn't really have a fandom so I don't get the opportunity to be that weird about it#but trust me I am so fucking weird about it#this stupid little game means the actual world to me#monkey island#the secret of monkey island#cass thinks ab stuff#ron gilbert#point and click adventure games
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