#who am i kidding its not even worth dating anyone again i dont think

[slaythespire]

GUARDS!!!! hes posting abt it again

[dark-muse-iris]

Pre-dystopian era truly encapsulates pre 2020 now doesn't it? 😂 The things the last 2 almost 3 years have brought forth in humanity is 👀 disappointing at the best of times.

I'm surprised to see just how the app has changed, as I haven't had the chance to hop on desktop just yet. It seems...almost functioning? No more character limit on asks is nice as now I don't have to break this into 6 different messages 😂 New settings and everything else to try and figure out.

I've turned 24 this last July, and the last time I was truly active on here I was 21 so the personal growth and loss that have come with that is interesting for sure. I've lost both my grandmas in the past year and my living grandfather has already remarried (oh boy the family drama that caused), moved twice and live with my boyfriend of 3 years, have gone NC with his narc family and LC with mine as best as possible, started a job that has me earning the most I ever have financially but definitely have cost a part of my soul 💀😂 and I'm trying my best to get to a place in my life where I'm debt free and in a industry I actually love and care for (cannabis and growing it) and get my boyfriend the disability coverage he needs but I'm sure you're well aware that its a poor joke of trying to get that approved. So on some notes, its been good and I've changed into a better person but also if anything bad happens in 2023 I'm very fragile about it 😂😅

I understand the "striving for mediocrety" as a workplace mentality, and just how exhausting it can feel with wanting to bring better things to the office and just getting shot down. The old dodgers of "this is how we've always done it" dont always seem to realize that doing the same thing for 40+ years only works when the system isn't as broken as it is (or if it even worked in the first place). Is being remote going to give you the chances to take care of your sleep issues and anything else health related thats popped up for you? Ik last I checked you were doing the testing to see if it was more than standard narcolepsy.

(I'll probably message again and finish my thoughts but I am night shift and my break just ended so I gotta head back. It's so nice talking to you again ☺️💕)

I’m sorry to hear about your grandmas. I lost two of mine since 2020 and it’s been really hard on the family. If my grandfather had remarried that quickly, I’d be scratching my head as to how they were able to make it happen. My grandfather doesn’t appear to be dating, but that’s likely because 1) he cooks, and 2) he’s got stage 4 cancer, courtesy of U.S. chemical warfare in Vietnam.

As someone who works in a soul-sucking job that pays well, let me just say: it’s worth it. It is absolutely worth it to have a full belly and warm place to sleep during recession years. When I worked in industries I loved and didn’t have enough to eat, I resented my dreams and hated myself for having them. Letting those dreams go gave me the chance to have other dreams and I’ve been able to forgive myself for being so hard in my early 20s. It can take years to get the life you want, so don’t let anyone shit on you for doing what you have to do to eat in the meantime, especially anyone of the older generations who did their part to suppress our standard of living.

The insistence on clinging to broken systems of the past is one big reason I transferred jobs. There’s a lot of that still going around. My managers were panicking and kept asking why I was leaving; I think they finally understood how far I’m willing to go to make sure “office culture” won’t waste my time anymore. For me, being a remote employee streamlines my workflow and reduces my workplace accommodations for narcolepsy by half. It’s also much easier to manage my ADHD at home where I can remove distractions. In the office, no one was working on our job shit; everyone just gathered around to talk about their kids or health problems or ridiculous work drama they didn’t plan on fixing themselves. I had forgotten how much time people wasted just bitching for nothing. When I hear a complaint, I want to fix the problem and get rid of it, but that wasn’t a good fit. My colleagues wanted free therapy from someone their kid’s age because *surprise* their kid isn’t talking to them anymore.

I’m hopeful for cannabis and glad you’re pursuing the field! It’s not fully legal where I live, but I have many chronically ill family and friends who rely on it because they can’t take meds or afford the healthcare they need. I have some family who are growers in different states where it’s allowed and they’re happy with the work they’re doing. I never had the green thumb for that; I’m the only who would take dead grass and make a basket out of it.

[pjisskullourful]

Hey! Could we get a little blurb of Gay Enough when they were all dating, and someone is hitting in reader at like a bar or smth and won’t leave her alone, so Dami and Ethan step in but the guy still won’t leave so it gets physical (like an actual fight) and Thomas and Vic just immediately get the reader out of there and later when reader asks them why they did that they’re just really quiet but just kinda say “you’re our girl. We had to protect you.” And shit like that? Sorry I know it’s weird, I love your writing!!!!

ok first things first is when im imagining the throuple, i am always imagining what they're wearing cos i see y/n as a drag queen, maybe not performing but always pulling a lewk very club kid style so i see her wearing something like this. something she could make herself

cos if you're showing body, men think you're easy& theirs to objectify& film walking down the street. so someone would try it& try it too much with her

anyways & the throuple always wanna be matching. i couldnt find anything for ethan but i like this look of dami

maybe incorporating the masks into the boyfriends lewks too: - on ethan, two threaded together to sit at his collarbones, then one threaded lower to make like a triangle/necklace, lets put that over a mesh top

we're talking prefame, we're talking a favourite song esque kinda moment

y/n is sitting at a table, taking a water break with thomas. boyfriends are being cute & making out elsewhere(ethan doesnt know dami is friends with dj & has queued up a bunch of songs he knows ethan likes dancing to, so hes locked in for a while)

thomas goes outside for a smoke*. some random dude approaches where y/n is chilling & tries it. maybe at first he isnt so bad, maybe its witty ‘has anyone ever told you you’re two-faced?’, or ‘when you say: my eyes are up here, which ones are you referring to?’. & shes just like politely nodding & doing one of those smiles where its like, heres some of my teeth but my eyes are blank. & he thinks he should just work harder for her attention so he gets sleazier & shes actively not making eyecontact with him. maybe the line is crossed when he says something like, ‘have you got someone to kiss all your lips? & im not just talking about the ones on the faces on your dress...’**

this is when thomas returns, eyes bugging outta his head cos he cant believe what he just heard. he takes his seat back. this rando is perceptive & knows thomas isnt y/ns boyfriend(lack of chemistry, etc, the vibe). so he keeps trying to hit on y/n

shes like ‘oop, i have boyfriends’

creep: *yelling even though its not that loud where shes sitting* boyfriends? you dont have to mock me. if you’re not interested, you can just say, you dont gotta make shit up. how many boyfriends do you have sweetheart?

y/n: two, i can intro you to-

creep: & how many husbands do you have?

y/n: well, none, im just-

creep: two guys, you must be really easy then. a fuckin addict if you need two dicks to keep you satisfied

thom: ok, time to go, son

creep: is this one of them?

thom: you can just think of me as one of them thats gonna teach you some manners about talking to y/n

so thomas gets up, chest-to-chest with this douche(up to yall how strong the creep is). is he intending to fight this guy for his friend?

this is the moment when the boyfriends appear(dami leading ethan, handinhand, super cute). so at first they think its thomas they need to defend. ethan is instantly in there, putting himself between thomas & the creep, in diffusing mode while dami is checking on you, ‘whats going on with this rando?’

before you can explain, ethan has put his hands on the creep, pushing him away from the whole scene. not with his whole strength, just enough to be like ‘back off buddy’. why did he do that? well, creep was calling you a slut again & dami is mad as hell too

‘its not worth it’ you try to tell them, getting up& grabbing damis arm as he starts to approach on the dude, who isnt taking the hint & wants to keep running his mouth ‘dont give him your attention, please dont worry about it, lets just go home’

this is when vic arrives too, lets make things worse, shall we? the creep was rude to her earlier. homophobia maybe. furthermore pissing dami & ethan off

guy takes swing at ethan & you’re properly grabbing dami ‘dont do this, dont let him mess up my baby’s faces, he is not worth it’

but ethan is far more aggressive than you ever imagined. but thomas & vic are less surprised & know that the best thing to do is get you out of there before you get hurt by trying to get in the middle. they believe ethan & dami can handle it together(cos lets be real they have argued with/fought ignroant jackasses before***)

& the rest is like you said. all three get kicked out of the bar so its time to go home. no one is terribly hurt. y/n feels protected, as well as violated, shaken & upset & wanting to stay in ethans apartment, to not have to see anyone but her boyfriends for a few days. shes like 'you dont need to do that', damis like 'no we definitely had to defend your honour'. but you're like 'no ine elses opinions matter, its all just words, all that matters is us'. but it does rattle you for a while(cos as much as you dont want it to, it does)

*this is a thing in australia, a designated smokers area, semi-outside, we’re kinda strict on smoking here. idk if its something that happens everywhere.

IS THAT ABLURB? did i do it? did i successfully blurb?

**pussy, yall

***i have a clear picture in my head, i imagine the throuple attending a pro-choice rally & y/n kicking up at pro-lifers protesting the rally & then ethan escalating with words & dami going to insults. ethan saying something along the lines of: where are you gonna be when that life needs extra help, their life impacted by disability? are you gonna keep fighting for that life’s rights when they turn out as gay as i am for him? *grabs & kisses dami in front of them for gay rights*

[volleychumps]

hello! first of all i want to say that your writing is really good and its the only thing that makes me keep going rn 🤡 can i please request yamaguchi, hinata and kenma with a male (i dont know if you do male reader, if you dont it can be female or gn too, however u want 😌) reader that is vv handsome (/beautiful) and always gets confessed by people? thank you sm and stay safe! 🌺

I love that this request singled out our soft boys, I hope you enjoy!

S/O Who Gets Confessed to Often w/ Yamaguchi, Hinata, and Kenma

WordCount: 1336

---------------------------------------

Yamaguchi

- honestly baby Tadashi is probably the most insecure out of everyone when it comes to you, meaning he’s constantly wondering why someone like you would choose someone like him

- “How’s my most talented boy doing?” “S-Stop...” 

- “I’m doing great-” “Shut the hell up Kei.” 

-literally knows how absolutely drop-dead goregous you are, but secretly feels the insecurity increase sharply whenever someone new seems to confess to you almost weekly

- “Y/N! Please date me!....what? You have a boyfriend? Since when?

- feels like you could do even better than him, and seems to distance himself with every new person that approaches you

- “Huh? That freckled kid in our year?...who?” 

- doesn’t feel any better when they claim to not have known, thinking he isn’t doing enough to prove his worth 

- “Yamaguchi! I missed you-” “Um, I’ve got class, Y/N, I’ll see you later.” 

- it breaks his heart when he sees your face fall before a fake smile crosses your features, waving at him as he rushes off, thinking if he pushes you away, you could be happier with someone new 

- “Grow a pair, Yamaguchi.” “I have a pair, Tsukki!” “Doesn’t look like it to me.” 

- until he sees you genuinely laughing with another guy, and seems to have his heart shatter in his chest at the sight of you with someone else

- as Tsukki knowingly shrugs on the sidelines with a told you so, look

- that is until you see him in the background with a hurt puppy expression, causing him to run away and making you chase after him 

- “Tadashi!” “G-Go away, Y/N!” 

- when you hear the crack in his voice, you don’t, and chase him all the way into a deserted hallway before he hears you sniffle, eyes shining with tears when he turns and stops running

- “W-Why are you crying?” “Why do you think, asshole? The boy I love doesn’t even want to be with me...” 

- feels immediately guilty, not realizing how much of an emotional toll he had caused before taking a shaky breath and your hands in his 

- “Are you sure about this?” “Why wouldn’t I be, Yama?” “There are so many other options...” 

- all doubt seems to disappear when you brush your lips softly against his quickly, knowing anymore would have your gentle boy trembling as you press your forehead against his, holding him by the back of his neck 

- “I don’t care about other options, you’re the one I want Tadashi.” 

- pulls you into a tight hug, his chin resting atop your head as you feel the certainty in his hold, no longer doubting himself 

- “If you say so, Y/N...” as his embrace tightens just a little more before you smile softly, running your fingers through his hair

- “I know so. Now stop avoiding the person who loves you, alright?” “I-I love you too, Y/N...probably even more.”

Hinata

- “Er...you don’t get annoyed, Boke?” “Why should I, Trashyama?”

 -this hyper-active tangerine would honestly take it as a compliment the first few times it happens, feeling pride swell in his chest that his partner was so desired by others

- “You’re dating Y/N?” “Hell yeah I am, what of it?” 

- until the whole confessing thing becomes a common occurence, causing Hinata to become a little clingy at times when people call you out of your classroom

- “Love-” “I’ve gotta protect you, Y/N! What if someone steals you away from me one day?” as he follows you out into the various places people ask you to meet at 

- lowkey makes the whole confession awkward as your boyfriend impatiently waits from a short distance, grinning and kissing your cheeks after you kindly reject them, making a show out of it 

- probably childishly sticks his tongue out at the confessor behind your back

- defintely makes a point to show a lot of PDA when around your peers, holding your bag for you and your hand until you actually have to sit him down and tell it to him straight that he has nothing to worry about 

- “Shouyou, do you trust me?” “Wha-?! Why would you even ask that, Y/N? You know I do.” 

- pouts adorably when you bite back a laugh at the jealous actions of your cute boyfriend before you cup his cheeks with both hands

- “Then show it. Know that I’m not leaving you for someone new, okay? The whole school pretty much knows you’ve marked your territory.” 

- “Say that to all those guys who literally ogle you, you’re way too beautiful Y/N.”

- “Alright Mr. Wingspiker known for making it to Nationals, don’t pretend other girls don’t confess to you on the daily or at least blush when you talk to them.” 

- “Wait...they do?” 

- at your deadpan stare, Hinata grins before grabbing both of your wrists that were being used to cup his cheeks, closing the proximity between you two until your noses brush 

- “I hardly notice when I’ve got you by my side, Y/N!” 

Kenma

- this introverted boy would be the type to act like he really could care less, waving you off and shrugging when you tell him you had come back from rejecting another confession

- “Mm. Third time this week?” “Yep!” “Cool.” 

- awkwardly waves to every new guy that comes your way after each let-down, not feeling the need of having to prove himself to anybody as they shove past Kenma in their emotional tantrum of not getting what they want 

- Doesn’t really think much about it until he’s peacefully waiting for you to deliver another rejection, flicking away at the joysticks on on his handheld until the guy huffs, catching his attention from his place outside the empty classroom 

- “Why Kenma Kozume, Y/N? You’re beautiful and funny, but he obviously can’t appreciate you the way I can. He’s not very sociable, and he can’t show your beauty anyone else would be able to.” 

- fingers on joysticks stop moving at his words, Kenma blinking once, then twice as he feels his heart pound at what your response would be 

- did...he really not appreciate you? Or at least not show it? 

- “I really really like Kenma, Hatori.  He doesn’t pressure me into being anything I don’t want to be, you know? He could show me off to the whole school and brag about having me on his arm, but he doesn’t because he knows it would make me uncomfortable. I...” 

- feels his chest swell at your words, wondering why he ever doubted you in the first place 

- “I’m pretty sure I’d rather be with someone who puts my well being first than show me off like some trophy, so thanks, but no thanks.” 

- awkwardly pretends to go back to playing his game when you come out of the classroom, causing you to jump and blush at Kenma’s equally blushy figure 

- “uh...you heard everything, didn’t you?” “....no. I just got here.”

- tries not to smile at the gullible, relieved sigh that slips your lips before offering you his hand, looking off to the side a bit timidly as you gape

- “Do you want to come help me practice my setting?” “But you hate doing that.” 

- “But you said you like watching me practice...so I don’t mind.” 

- swallows back the lump in his throat and ignoring the heat in his cheeks when your goregous grin lights up your features, increasing your pretiness by tenfold

- “Yeah. I’d like that.” 

- stops suddenly to give you a tight hug that held some kind of hidden meaning before walking again as if nothing had happened 

- “Hey Y/N?” “Y-yes?” 

- “Thank you for being with me. I know I don’t really show it a lot.” 

- his pace increases, practically speed walking away from you when realization dawns onto your features

- “Kenma, you were listening!” “I’m more worried about the fact that you believed I wasn’t.” 

[romanceimp]

Pregnant s/o hcs: Mirio, Bakugo, Todoroki, Midoriya, Iida, Tamaki

SFW, just super fluffy 

Mirio:

If you don’t think this man is tearing up when you tell him... uhhh you’d be wrong

He is crying over you and so happy, will kneel and just kiss your tummy 

And when you’re in bed that night going to sleep, every few minutes he will nuzzle in closer and whisper, “hey guess what? We’re gonna have a baby” 

Anytime he says he loves you now he says it to your tummy too 

“I love you Y/n, I love that you are mine and I love that you’re going to be the mother of my child” *bends down* “And I love you too baby” 

He will have a really hard time waiting until the second trimester to tell anyone but once he is able, everyone will know, and he’s going to have a party in your honor. 

He will treat you like a queen, back rubs and foot rubs...

I feel like when you first tell him you’re pregnant he will come home a few days later with a box... when you open it, it’s a maternity dress, and its actually really pretty, with lace and silk, and nice and stretchy... 

“I know you don’t need it now, but I saw it when I was out and thought it would look perfect on you...”

He will compliment you every second of every day, will trace your stretch marks and tell you they make you beautiful because it’s all part of you becoming a mother, it’s a natural tattoo, a reminder of how you’re growing a life inside you

He will want to throw a gender reveal party 

And no, it can’t be as simple as balloons popping out of a box, he’s gotta have something extravagant to celebrate like fireworks, monster trucks, or a paid actor dressed as a baby

You’re having his baby! This is a pinnacle moment in his life and he is not about to have some basic ass party

Mirio is definitely the kind of guy who thinks you can’t have sex because it could hurt the baby, you will have to make a very embarrassing call to your doctor about that... 

He is looking forward to owning dad sandals (who are we kidding he prolly already does)

Bakugo:

This man will shit himself, make sure he is sitting down

“Bakugo... I’m pregnant”

“Hah?” 

“I’m having a baby! You’re gonna be a dad”

He’s really happy and excited, he has no doubt you’ll be an amazing mom but he’s kinda worried about him being a dad... 

Am I fit to raise a kid? Will I be a good dad?

He will probably start working more and almost go on over drive... He will start coming home later, picking up earlier shifts... And when you ask him, “Katsuki, are you not happy about the baby?”  He will kinda break down and tell you “No of course I’m fucking happy about the baby, I just want the world to be safe for our kid... and I only have 8 months till then and-” He drops to his knees in front of you and he’s tearing up. You’ll get onto your knees too and just hug him, “Katsuki, you can’t fix the world before we have our baby,” you’ll look at him lovingly as he realizes how absurd he was being. “But we can prepare to be the best parents we can be...” “Prepare? We’re already gonna be the best parents.”

Okay, Bakugo hypes up the baby too, like...

“Katsuki, come here! The baby is kicking!” *he puts his hand on your tummy* “Baby’s so strong, just like us,” *grabs you and kisses you* “I knew we made a fucking perfect kid”

He will try kill anyone who oversteps the boundary with the bump (like touching the bump without asking)

“OI EXTRA, you wanna take your fucking hands off my woman and my kid or do  I have to do that for you...” 

Bakugo would be very unnecessarily competitive in birthing class

Will wake you up in the middle of the night at least once, he’s just laying on his back staring wide eyed at the ceiling... “What if I explode the baby?”

You’ll roll over and look at him annoyed, “you won't explode the baby,” 

He will settle again once you give him cuddles 

You cannot tell me that he would not be your biggest cheerleader when you’re actually giving birth, “PUSH, FUCKING PUSH DUMB ASS!” 

Todoroki: 

This man freaks out for a sec... cuz daddy issues. But he has a strong resolve so he will come out of it quickly and decide how to 

“Shoto, you aren’t anything like Endeavor, you’re going to be an amazing dad”

He will be extremely happy, but his excitement will be softer

Everyday after you tell him he says you’re glowing

He will want to cook you special things because it’s healthy for the baby, or so his mother told him

Speaking of his mother, she taught him how to knit when he went to visit her in the hospital so you’ll find him knitting little hats and bootie and jackets for the baby

He will nest just as much, if not more than you do

You’ll find him awake at 3AM trying to put together some bullshit ikea thing for the baby with the tiny allen wrench they give you for free. “Shoto, come back to bed... we can do that in the morning” “But the baby needs somewhere to sleep,” “Yes, and I’m not due for another two months”

Shoto is already so soft but I think he would be softer

Like when you fall asleep on the couch, he gets home and just cuddles up to you and asks your bump how it’s day was. He will talk to the bump until you wake up and then he just pepper your face with kisses.  

He is the only one of all these men who doesn’t shit himself and die when watching the birthing tape. I think he would be calm and say something like “a woman’s body is made to carry and deliver a child, there’s nothing to be frightened of.”

Midoriya: 

When you tell him, he’s gonna cry

He will want to call his mom right away  

Midoriya is the kinda guy to have a box of his things from when he was a kid stored away to give to his child (it’s all All Might merch but, ya know)

He definitely panics and worries if he is going to be a good father but he takes all that anxiety and just turns it into energy to care for you with

He is already signing you up for birthing classes 

This man would take you to all your doctors visits, acupuncture appointments, prenatal massages, and even a strange healing session done in the back room of a health good shop (don’t worry, he checked google reviews, 346 people, and 5 stars) (You weren't sure about it at first, but you felt very at peace afterwards, def worth the 5 star review)

He just really wants you to be happy and healthy

It would be understatement to say he treats you like a queen... he treats you like a goddess, and he tells you everyday how grateful he is that you’re his love and giving him a baby. Especially when you feel insecure about how your body is changing

He will want to make the nursery Hero themed... with an All Might wall decal... you’ll eventually opt for something a little less... exuberant like jungle animals or something. But the compromise is the All Might mobil that spins and says “I am here” while playing twinkle twinkle little star.

He will read to the bump, and sing to it because he wants the baby to know his voice

Will make a ‘goodnight’ song with you for the baby to sing to it every night 

Tenya: 

Tenya is so excited and immediately starts thinking of things he needs to do for you and baby

The day after he will come home with a bag from the store full of prenatal vitamins and herbal teas that are safe to drink 

“My love! I have brought you Evening Primrose supplements, it’s supposed to help with your delivery.” 

I think he has name ideas picked out already and is very excited to show them to you. They are all related to the Iida family.

He would ask his brother for advice and would be so excited to tell him when it’s time. 

Don’t even worry about pregnancy brain. Iida’s got you, he will help you remember everything you need to know and he will be patient with your cloudy thoughts. 

Iida is so matter of fact tho, I can see it coming off as insensitive, especially when you’re dealing with mood swings.

“Darling, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you it’s just that those chips make your stomach hurt and I was only trying to-” “YOU JUST DONT WANT ME TO BE HAPPYYYY!!!!!!” “My darling, I want all the happiness in the world for you, you are the mother of my child, I- please don’t cry” 

He really loves you a lot and he will learn to be a little gentler with you during this phase of the pregnancy

Braxton hicks contractions (the little fake contractions you get during the third trimester, closer to the due date) will send him into panic mode. 

But he is also so organized that he is R E A D Y 

You clutch your stomach and inhale sharply and sit down, he’s already running to get the hospital bag and getting the keys for the car. 

(The hospital bag includes, diapers, baby clothes, blankets, stress balls for you to squeeze during contractions and a birth mix which includes mostly Baroque composers but theres a few taylor swift and harry styles songs because he thinks it would be cool if the baby was born to Adore You, because Iida adores you and that baby so much)

Tamaki:

He is terrified

But ultimately knowing that he has a child on the way actually does wonders for his confidence because he wants his child to have a good example and he doesn’t want the child to inherit his crippling shyness

He really is there for you and much like Shoto, shows it in a soft way

Tamaki is so food oriented already that he is especially considerate of your cravings and would probably try them, no matter how weird they are

Pregnancy makes you super hungry but thats okay because Tamaki is a brilliant cook

Tamaki is also very sensitive to the knowledge that it will change after the baby is born and that he has you all to himself for just a little while longer

He is going to take you on special weekend trips, like a sleepy beach town to just relax and eat good food

He will also take you on extra dates because he just wants to soak up your time together as a couple

He is very aware of how much work you’re doing constantly to carry his child and he will want to spoil you 

“Y-you’re just so beautiful, a-and you chose me, and now you’re carrying my child...I just... I love you so much and thank you for letting me be yours b-because you make me so happy.” 

He will freak out when he sees the birthing tape

“I-I am so sorry, I can’t believe I’ve put you through this... you’re- you-  This is all my fault...” *panic panic panic*

But when you’re actually in labour he is very supportive, he will just apologize while you’re screaming in agony and wish there was something else he could do other than bring you ice chips...

[shoichee]

Hello! I was wondering if you could do a Hizaki Shogo X F!reader fic where Hizaki walks into his s/o holding onto a picture frame of them both and singing "Love Like you" and maybe a soft fluffy ending?🥺💕 Reader is usually hyper and happy go lucky but at that moment reader is calm and just so soft that they look at the picture frame with the softest eyes and that makes Hizaki feel warm? Hope you have a Nice Day/Night! Thank you!!

i spy a haizaki fan over here~ okay, i am very very sorry it took very long to get this out, but i hope i wrote him well D: to be honest, he’s the most complicated guy to write for by far and while i dont think its crazy toothrotting fluffy compared to my other scenarios, i hope you enjoy this too!

Haizaki x Reader

Word Count: 1990

Note: swearing, and is a LITTLE BIT risque? i mean, this is haizaki

»»—————　☼　—————««

You two were only supposed to be friends with benefits.

You definitely weren’t his type. Nope, you definitely weren’t. Not when you endlessly made so much clamoring in the hallways with your friends or bounced around like a kid on sugar. It definitely leaves a sour taste in his mouth when you are a literal carbon-copy of Kise Ryouta, someone who he absolutely despised.

Yet, it’s probably how he can render you to a completely different side of soft whimpers and gasps in every tryst for the past two months that made it all worth the effort of chasing after you. Besides, he knows you reciprocate the same level of desire for him, and it gives him a massive boost of an ego. Especially when you actually use your annoying voice for something more worthwhile than socializing with your classmates… especially when you rasp out his name in desperation in such vulnerable moments. He constantly feeds on your vulnerability like it’s his lifeline, but he will never admit that.

So why is it that he’s so taken aback when he sees, yet, another different side to you, the usual sickenly energetic side he’s secretly grown accustomed to?

“If I could begin to be… half of what you think of me…”

He doesn’t know whether to be disgusted about the fact that he feels bad for intruding on something that feels so intimate and pure or the fact that he’s craving more of this side of you, the side that he’s afraid is all an illusion in his mind that he’s somehow concocted in a fever dream. The gentle lullaby you were humming irritates him all the more, yet he’s glued in his spot, so torn about whether to rudely interrupt you to demand for another escapade or relish in the lulls that is undoubtedly soothing him.

“I could do about anything… I could even learn to love…”

Somehow, the lyrics affected him on a personal level, and he grits his teeth, hating the fact that he relates to it so deeply. Here you are, humming the soft jazz as a smile of absolute adoration spreads across your lips. Lips that he’s all too familiar with yet a complete stranger to. He doesn’t know whether to feel smug or remorse when he sees that you're admiring the selfie you took of the both of you the other day on a whim. Smug because at least he knows you’re completely whipped for him. Remorse… because it almost makes the two of you look like an actual couple… something that he’s not too keen on, yet he’s been toying with that idea recently whenever he meets up with you. It feels so wrong that someone like you is so heavily entangled with someone like him, but he wants to monopolize all of that for himself all the same.

“I always thought I might be bad…

Now I'm sure that it's true…

'Cause I think you're so good…

And I'm nothing like you…”

It was just a song, he knew it, yet it feels like you truly felt that about yourself. He never understood you even after all those times you’ve met up, all those times he’s stripped you to your most defenseless state. He thought he can figure you out like the past girls he’s been with… their games, their desires, their motives. He hates it; your entire being pisses him off and intrigues him all the same, and he wants more of you. He doesn’t understand… don’t you know what he’s capable of doing to you? Have you not heard of what he’s done to others? Why do you still treat him so… normally?

“... I wish that I knew…

What makes you think I'm so special…”

Does he think you’re special? He doesn’t know, but he can admit that you’re the longest fling he’s had so far. He scoffs and spits to ward off a stray thought that crossed his mind, the intrusive thought that you emanate the same inviting warmth like his single mother. The only warmth he’s ever sought out was the body heat of another girl in the heat of passion; such a want of intimate warmth, like the one he was experiencing right now, has always been so foreign and uncomfortable.

“E-Eek!! H-How long have you been here?!” Haizaki snaps out of his thoughts to face a mortified you clutching your phone close to your chest. There was the side of you he’s always known.

“Hah? Do you think so highly of yourself that you think anyone would fucking waste their time to eavesdrop on you?” he sneers, watching you only roll your eyes at him. You only walk closer to him while Haizaki watches your every move like a hawk with his narrow eyes.

“You’re the only one who would spit so damn loudly,” you say. “You really oughta stop doing that. It’s gross.” He only rudely scoffs at you before he turns his back on you.

“I just came to look for you for a quickie,” Haizaki says, licking his thumb like he usually does. “7 p.m. if we’re doing it.”

“Ah, before you leave!” you call out to him. “What do you want for your bento?”

“What.” Haizaki slightly halts in his place before he turns his face to you with a condescending sneer, but you can see the slight confusion swirling in his eyes. “Are you fucking shitting me right now?”

“No, I’m absolutely not!” you loudly huff. “I’m actually serious! You picked such a later time than usual, and I’m not gonna go starve myself just for sex. So do potato wedges sound good?” Haizaki only narrows his eyes at you, wondering why you go through such lengths for such a short-term relationship. He gives a mirthless chuckle.

“Whatever you’re doing won’t make me stick by your side like a loyal dog, I hope you realize that,” he says. “Don’t go crying off when you see me having fun with another girl.” In truth, he hasn’t really thought about flirting off to another female for months since he’s met you, but at least he wants to put it out on the table that if you were indeed looking for something serious… then he wasn’t the right guy for you.

“I know,” you say shrugging casually. “Everyone knows who you are after all. I figured you’d be hungry if I am too.”

“No one’s a glutton like you.”

“Yeah? Well you still find me attractive enough despite that.” You give a satisfied smirk of your own when Haizaki merely turns away to walk. “What, Haizaki? No comeback for this one?”

He stops to give a hard glare. “All your yapping made me not want to fuck you anymore. I’m gonna chill at the arcade.”

“Ooh! Ooh!” you hoot excitedly, stars shining in your eyes. It seems that his other comment completely unphased you. “Let me come too! Please?” Even despite his rebukes, you hold your own against him and even make them backfire against him. Even despite him knowing that he’s a terrible influence, you still shine so brightly.

“... You’re paying for your own tokens. Don’t expect me to give you a single dime.”

“You really think I’m a freeloader?!”

“I might just take some of your coins, too,” he leers, again licking his thumb. “Don’t go crying either if you get left behind like a dolt.”

“If you do that,” you threaten, crossing your arms, “I’m gonna steal your coins too! Plus, you stick out like a sore thumb! I can easily find you anywhere, y’know!”

Haizaki doesn’t bother to reply and keeps on walking further before you gasp and chase after him.

“H-H-Hey!! We’re going now?! I thought we're still meeting at 7?” He merely tunes you out, but you knew he slowed down his pace for you to catch up, albeit slightly. “W-Wait! But like… I won’t have time to make the bento, and—”

“Shut up, (y/n),” he says. “Fast food exists for a reason.” Why would someone like you go through so much effort to make homemade food for someone like him? He feels somewhat better that at least he wouldn’t feel the tiny guilt of taking your bento off your hands. You widen your eyes like you just realized that restaurants existed.

“Oh yeah, huh!”

“You’re paying for your own shit, too.”

“Well, duh!”

Haizaki continues to stroll with his bag slung over his shoulder, not even remotely sparing you a glance, but he knows you’re right behind him when you’re skipping around so excitedly. Was being with him that enjoyable to you? He hasn’t done anything remotely kind to you.

“Hey, hey, Haizaki!” He continues to ignore you. “Doesn’t this feel like a date to you?”

“Keep dreaming, wench.”

“You’re a royal asshole, you know that?” you sigh, still trying to match his stride. Haizaki is very much aware of who he is. What he doesn’t know is why you still keep sticking to him like a remoraid.

“Why are you so annoying?”

Translation: Why are you persistent in being with me?

You seem to know the hidden meaning of his throwaway question, and Haizaki frowns harshly at how sharp you were.

“I don’t know. You’re the more obnoxious person in everyone’s eyes anyways,” you snicker. “Still, don’t you ever get tired of hearing people talk shit about you?”

Translation: Why do you act like this?

“You really know how to get on my nerves. Shut up if you know what’s good for you. I don’t know who’s gonna break it to you, but I’m not the guy who you think so highly of.”

“I never said that about you though,” you frown. “Unless… you really did eavesdrop on me after all?!”

“Tch.” He only walks faster to try to leave you behind, and you immediately run in a panic to catch up.

“Okay, okay! I’m kidding, alright?!” you say, but both of you knew that you were secretly smug about it. He’s starting to regret bringing you along, but deep down, he thinks it’s the best decision he’s made in a long time. Still, he’s more irked when you begin to shamelessly hum the same song, the one you sung moments before, to gleefully tick him off.

Even through his nasty attitude, for the first time, you had a taste of different sides to Haizaki in the arcade. The side of him that genuinely enjoyed being competitive with you during various rounds, even with his usual jeers… the side of him who always puts himself on the outside of the sidewalks when it got dark… the side of him who tried to teach you the workings of some of the games, albeit in a condescending way… the side of him who waited for you to finish your food at the tables, even if he kept making unnecessary comments on your appetite. Haizaki doesn’t know why he’s doing these things… perhaps he wanted to feel what it’s like to be in a committed relationship? Perhaps he wanted another taste of the same feeling he had felt when he first heard you sing?

There was something so innocent about this entire “date,” that both of you couldn’t help but wanted to learn more about each other. For the first time, Haizaki lets his guard down around you, and when he's so entertained in your presence, he suddenly doesn’t care as much about it. Your relationship was far from perfect, but between the two of you being a complete mismatch, there was a spark of something undeniably genuine and pure… the intimate warmth that Haizaki had lacked and craved for so long.

Even just for now… he wants to hold the fantasy of being in a committed relationship with you close to his heart for as long as he can. He sometimes wishes he could hear you sing again, only for him, to feel the gentle lulls again.

[wonwoonlight]

hello, it’s me, back once again~ i was so sad by how short the chapter was 😭 i could read this story for forever long i am not joking

i was expecting to get a chapter of their festival date (i know it wasn’t a date but it was a date) so for a minute i was confused like did i miss a chapter?? but then it all made perfect sense and i m e l t e d when she called him gyu and he got all shy 😭 like please jennie was sus when she heard oc call him mingyu now imagine if she hears her call him GYU

okay theory time - gyuri’s mom is a random person mingyu slept with once. the info i have to back this up: in an earlier chapter he said he hadn’t had a one night stand since gyuri was born. this means he had at least one prior to her birth (which could be the mom or could not be). two: he said the last time he’d been that nervous around his parents was when he got “someone” pregnant. maybe it was written that way to not let anything slip but i feel like referring to mom as “someone” is very disconnected and detached and therefore i don’t think it was a serious girlfriend, maybe just a casual thing (or i could be totally wrong who knows (you do) ahshsh). now the reason he hides gyuri so much? the end of this chapter! our mingyu turned out to be the most eligible bachelor and the media didn’t even know gyuri existed? for some reason in my head i thought he was very protective of her but it never crossed my mind that people didn’t know about her existence. so i don’t think he shields her so much bc of her mom or anyone looking for gyuri, i think it’s just bc no one knows about her.

my theory for upcoming chapter: this article forces oc and mingyu to talk about why they were confused as being a family. they discuss the truth behind gyuri’s mom / talk about what happened between them / kiss and get together and stay together forever (pls) and then mingyu proceeds to tell the media heck yes this is my baby girl and this is the love of my life (this is just late night thoughts after reading the chapter i know whatever you wrote is much better than anything i could imagine).

here you go, i’ve delivered yet another ridiculously long message. to fellow my daisy readers - i’m so sorry if you read this message + my theories without meaning to. to our talented my daisy writer, thanks again for another great chapter!!

yesss it's the shortest one in the whole series 😭😭 promise the next one would be longer tho!

I skipped the festival ~date~ because I want you all to go wild with your imagination and decide yourself whatever happened during that festival :p what matters is: it opened a whole emotion gate for the both of them that has been waiting to be opened since like.. chapter 2 jbdjhsdbf

[spoiler alert!]

AH i always enjoy reading your theory and deductions 😌 you're so nice to do this i hope u know i appreciate the time you take to type all this down😭😭 here's my comment on this episode and the next one's theory: some of the stuffs you said aren't that far off what i've written 😼😼 just gotta figure out which is which :p

there's only one single hint about the whole... Gyuri's secrecy to the outer world, tbh. In chapter 3, when she went missing in the building, no one recognizes her. Perhaps theyre busy too, perhaps they dont notice this small girl loitering around the lobby. I did say the lobby was always empty more often than not. But this is their CEO's kid and no one, not even the security recognizes her??

That's it, the only blatant hint I've ever dropped abt her secret existence hoho you'll know if there's any other hint in the next chapter 😚😚

and please dont think its ridiculous, it's readers like you that make writing much less exhausting and worth the hours and hours I spent writing this💗

[d-xs]

Oh man, I loved your previous ask to elloriya!! As a part 2 to your previous damijay ask, how would Damian go about wooing Jason this time around? Is there a specific scene or moment in your head in which everything *clicks* in Jason's mind and he catches feelings?

What happens after Jason and Damian meet again when they are both grown? How does Damian move fordward? You know Jason is going to try to deny all of it and put a stop to it because 1. He watched the kid grow. 2. On a much deeper level...I dont think he thinks he deserves love - Anonymous

After the mission, once the threat is neutralized, Jason Todd accepts Damian's invitation to stay a while with the League. It's no hardship to accept. He has missed the brat and he could use a few days of relaxation.

He spends his time observing Damian in his element. The new Demon Head is a force to reckon with. Ra's al Ghul was a formidable leader, but he had nothing on Damian.

Damian has grown. Not just into a beautiful man, but one who is comfortable in his own skin.

In the place of the snot-nosed little brat, desperate to prove himself, that Jason used to know, is a man, confident of his place at the top of the world.

Jason has a hard time reconciling the kid who was Robin to the man who is the Demon Head.

Comparing them is like comparing a puppy and a grown alpha wolf.

When Damian asks for Jason's help with the training of his operatives, Jason pushes back the mission he had lined up to offer his skills.

The past week felt so much like old times, but better. He can't tell if it's because Damian is different, or because it's been so long, but something about them is different this time.

Then Talia al Ghul comes to visit.

"I must say," Talia starts, setting down her tea cup.

She has a glint in her eyes that spells trouble. And not the kind Jason goes looking for.

She looks very smug and satisfied.

"I had hoped you and Damian would bond, but not even I could have predicted this."

Catching up over tea is a tradition they have managed to maintain over the years. Irrespective of what's going on in their lives, they meet at least once a year to catch up.

Damian had turned down a request to join them, citing his duties, but he did make plans with Jason for later.

Jason watches her over the rim of his own cup.

"Predict that we would be working together in the League, years later, or that I'd willingly return to this hell-hole?"

Talia laughs. A simple, but delightful sound filled with mirth. But Jason knows she's laughing at him. Talia only laughs out loud when she's calling him stupid.

"A bit of both, you could say," she answers finally.

"Why's that a surprise? You of all people should know that I'll always come when Damian calls," Jason informs her. "He's doing good work."

"Of course, you will." She smiles.

It's a non-answer, but it's all Jason gets from her on the topic.

Her comment niggles at him all day.

His relationship with Damian is no secret to her. They have always been close. Maybe not on the same level as Damian and Dick were, but close enough.

It's early evening, and Jason has accepted Damian's invitation to go mountain climbing, and then have a picnic at the top.

They're having a great time, exchanging barbs and banter, while they challenge each other.

Damian looks relaxed and happy. Jason figures being the Demon Head doesn't leave a lot of free time to do stuff like this. It feels just like old times, which makes Jason even happier to do this.

Jason doesn't know what Talia was on about. Their relationship hasn't changed.

Sure, it's more intense and something about Damian feels almost like a scene from a romance novel, but that doesn't mean--

Wait.

Hold on a minute.

"Is this a date?" Jason blurts out, stopping in his tracks. "Are we dating?"

Because Jason is twenty eight years old, but the idea of romance and dating will never not turn him into an awkward teenager.

Damian, thankfully, doesn't try to play coy with him.

"You finally caught a clue," Damian answers in a satisfied tone. "Good."

"Wait, did you sic your mother on me?"

"You were so oblivious," Damian excuses. "I wasn't sure if that was your own way of rejecting my advances."

It's both flattering and disturbing that Damian would recruit his mother to help him score a date with Jason. But Jason can't wrap his head around the idea that Damian wants to date him.

He can have anyone he wants, civilian or caped. Why would he want Jason? What could he possibly offer Damian in a relationship?

"Kid--" He starts, only to cut himself off because that's not right. Damian is not a kid.

"Stop," Damian orders, his voice dropping low.

Jason shivers.

He takes a step that puts him right in Jason's personal space. Jason can feel Damian’s hot breath fanning his face when he speaks and it's all he can do to maintain his composure.

"I can see the wheels turning in your head and before you go on a spiel about our age difference and your lack of self worth, I will tell you this:

"You are six years older than I am, not sixty. That would have worked ten years ago, but that was a long time ago. I have been in love with you long enough to know that it is no passing fancy. I do not care for whatever you think a partner should offer me. My heart is set on you.

"Do not insult me by suggesting I find someone more worthy. I know you feel the same way about me, too. I have watched you this past week, and mother confirmed it herself. Even though you have refused to acknowledge it. So, if you intend to reject me, Jason, I demand a valid reason."

The air between them is charged. There's so much to unpack in those words and Jason doesn't even know where to begin.

There's so much he has to figure out, but he knows that he doesn't want to reject Damian.

Damian is right; this thing between them isn't one-sided. If Damian is in, then Jason would like to see where this takes them.

Jason lifts a hand to gently trace Damian's face, relishing the way Damian's eyes flutter shut and his heartbeat picks up its pace, before cupping the back of his head to pull him into a kiss.

[mimithings97]

Heartache (M)

Summary: You didn’t know such a feeling was so real, so vivid, so hurtful. But it had happened and happened to you before you could stop it. Tae had become written into your life hard and fast, so when you leave you question that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t willing to unwrite him.

Pairing: Taehyung x Y/N

Genre: Angst, Smut, Fluff

Warnings: Heartache for starters, Unprotected sex, Oral (male receiving), Swearing, Nude modelling, Taehyung’s a sappy mess, Mentions of Alcohol

Word Count: 6k

A/N: Can’t lie in saying how morbid it is that I enjoy writing angst. It’s light angst though and a lot lighter than how fucking whipped Tae is at the end. Much love for the bub though, so, enjoy x

Ahhh jungkook features as well forgot to mention. Still love him. Nothings changed there.

Heartache.

Cringy, you once thought to yourself. 

How could you be so dependent, so set and so immersed in something that your heart actually aches? 

It didn’t make sense to you until the day words were spoken that couldn’t be taken back, bags were reluctantly packed and more tears were shed than there is water in the Thames. Heartache was real, vivid and the hardest thing you have ever had to live through in your 24 years of life. 3 weeks of a deep set dropping in your stomach that couldn’t be shaken despite the booze intake, the occasional listening to his voicemails and the relentless tears.

Your mother told you that if you built up too many walls it would hurt so much more when someone knocked them down. You had told Taehyung this on the first date, your first date, ever, with any man. You had always drawn a line between pleasure and dependency, settling for short flings and the occasional online relationship (purely for the sexting) instead of the commitment and responsibility that weighed on vulnerable shoulders when you bear your entire self to another in a relationship. Taehyung knew this. But he fell and you fell harder. You fell completely and utterly under his spell for three years. 

And then he told you he wanted to marry you. Bastard didn’t even propose, just mentioned that one toxic word of marriage and you instantly laid the bricks of that wall he had so unceremoniously knocked down all those years ago.

It felt so adult yet so childish leaving someone over the concept of marriage, but when talks of marriage turn to talks of children and one party wants something completely different to the other, what kind of relationship is there to continue. 

So three weeks later, just as the physical pain of emptiness and heartache has begun ebbing away, the emotional trauma of your decision begins to cave in on you.

To Jungkook:

11:31pm

You: I know I said I’d stop this

You: But I really dont know if this is worth the pain

You: His mum sent me a get well soon card today bc he told her i was ill and that’s why i hadn’t visited

You: I’m never going to not love him

You: How does anyone get over this shit its not fair

11:35pm

Guk: Oh noona

Guk: It’ll take lots and lots of time and lots and lots of tubs of ice cream and wine but youre both adults who want different things and not everything is meant to be

Guk: Sacrifice for the greater good right

11:35pm

You: There’s no fucking greater good here

You: I hate this

11:37pm

Guk: Noona you know that down the road hyung wants children. I don’t think marriage was that big, but he’s always wanted to be a dad

Guk: It’s not fair of him to ask you to have something you don’t want but its also not fair to leave him without the thing he’s always desired the most

11:40pm

You: Its just too hard to take

You: It feels like three years for jack shit

11:41pm

Guk: If you’re really struggling that much, noona, talk to him. I know he wants to talk to you still, he’s tried to contact you everyday. Maybe it will give you some closure or just help you see what’s right

11:41pm

You: Love you

Your phone is down as soon as Jungkook mentioned talking to him. How could you take one step forward and a million steps back by talking to him? It would be like hanging just what you want right in front of you but no touching, no talking to them after that 5 minutes of hell, no seeing them ever again. Closure is what you need but never what you’ll want.

The sheets that surround you, nuzzled closely into your neck and still unwashed even after three weeks just to keep that tiny scent of Tae over you naked skin, warm you to the point your eyes drift. You don’t mean to fall asleep so easily, but when every little action weighs so heavy on you during the day, sleep comes too easily. However, so does the nightmares of crawling alone in the black abyss.

---------------------------------------------

Resuming work was never easy on a broken soul, but alas, here you were, with three weeks of sick pay under your belt you’d rather not have and 20 children at your feet.

Ironic isn’t it.

You break up with the only man you’ve ever loved because you can’t face a future of settling down with children, yet you wake up at the fucking godforsaken hour of 6 am to tend to a bunch of five and six years olds every day. No, you didn’t hate children, but they weren’t the joy of your life either. You were good at your job and you had this mad psychological complex that if you could help a child at five or six like you had so desperately needed at that age, then maybe you’d make their life just that little bit easier and that little bit brighter. Taehyung always found your reason for working so admirable - fuck that look of pure adoration in his eyes when you told him - so he found it equally hard to come to terms with when you told him the opposite. When you told him you couldn’t have your own children because the responsibility scared you. His ears were ringing at the point where you told him you also didn’t want to share him and his kindness, even so, the damage had been done, whatever the reasoning.

“Y/N! Jennie said you were back,” it’s a tight smile from you and a loose hug, but it’s amazing you’ve managed that with the way your head is far from in the room let alone the conversation at hand. “God, I hope you’re better, you were out for a while.”

You squeeze a weak laugh out, “Yeh, it wasn’t all that fun.”

“For a second me and Jennie were thinking you might be pregnant.” The heartache subsides, rivalled by the very distinct feeling of sickness. The ball of energy in front of you persists in conversation, but it’s to drowned ears and for a second you think you’ll faint. 

You miss your name being called. Shit, you don’t even know where it’s coming from, because the all-consuming feeling of this tide of emotions has swept you far from your spot in the classroom. Marie in front of you still calls, asking if you’re okay, but it’s the tug on your skirt, not harsh, but enough to garner a reaction that casts your eyes down.

“Miss Y/N?”

It’s Jojo, eyes wide and glaring up at you, still clung to the material of your skirt.

“Miss Y/N, why are you crying?”

You instantly draw the back of your hand to your face and it catches a cascading tear, much to your shock. You face must morph into a mortified expression at the thought of so carelessly crying at work, in the presence of the kids you look after with a smile and a skip in your step each day.

“Miss Y/N, it’s okay to cry. You can draw with me if you feel crying…” he shakes his head, “sad. Sad I mean.”

You feel Marie’s hand on your back, but Jojo’s eyes sweep you into a frenzy of more tears before you find yourself kneeling on the floor by the table. His table, where he sits alone each day, with paper and paints, or pencils, or chalk, sometimes he just folds it and hands it to you saying he made his paper into a flower. He already has one of his drawings on the go but scribbled over it thoughtlessly before starting out on a series of words. ‘To miss Y/n’.  Your eyes well further, but his words stop you.

“I think sometimes that drawings can make you better. Can make better the sadness.”

---

“Tae are you still going at it?”

You peer around the corner of the door, leaning half in half out of his man cave to study your boyfriend at work. 5 hours he’d been couped up in there.

“Hmm.” 

He didn’t let you see his art until the product was finished, completely finished, because sometimes he’d say he was done and then go back when he’d found the smallest error only to get pissed off that you had witnessed anything other than the completed masterpiece.

“Tae, you’ve been in here for hours, just come out to help me cook.” You plead with him over the canvas, not daring to peak any further.

“I know, I’m sorry.”

He hasn’t looked at you since you came in, his brow well and truely glued into a furrow and the tea you’d brought him earlier cold and untouched beside him. You lower your tone into a more serious one.

“You okay?”

Silence.

“Done.” He doesn’t sound relieved or happy at the finalising of a five-hour art project like most would, like he normally does. He’s merely, ‘done’.

With an apprehensive tone, you ask, “Can I come see?” A gentle nod and you round the canvas, his arm dropping the brush in favour of tugging at the skin of your waist until you’re gently seated in his lap.

It’s beautiful and it’s simplistic and there’s so much life and emotion in it that you know the five hours weren’t all spent with brush to canvas but with him mulling over the memories and thoughts it conjured up.

“Your grandmother’s house?” Your voice is soft, not a pitying soft, but a soft that lets him know he can talk freely.

“Hmm,” he presses a kiss to the shoulder exposed by the shirt that hangs off you loosely. “Wanted to do something for her.”

You let the silence and the painting speak for itself for a while as his hands brush at your sides and you lean into his head that rest against you, chin to shoulder as his warm breath lulls you into calmness.

��You miss her?” 

“So much.”

“Painting makes it better?”

… another kiss and a sigh, warm.

“Mmm. Sometimes painting and drawing just makes the sadness a little easier, just makes it better.”

---

You see Tae in this tiny boy, this boy who draws to ease the sadness, who coups himself away on his table to be alone, too afraid to cry in front of the other boys and girls. Is he doing it too? Is he alone and painting? 

Then Jojo slides you his paper, wordlessly and your eyes with dried tears, prick once again, heartache replaced with something completely different, regret. And now hope. It’s those small boys words on paper, insignificant to him, and probably tiny in the grand scheme of things, but it’s his words that make you seek out for the one thing you know you can’t live without, the one thing that will heal your sadness.

‘To miss Y/N, i hope your crying gets better soon. Its okay to cry but its also good to make you happy. I hope you find your happy. From Jojo.”

You’d already found your happy, you just had to get him back.

-------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N!?” 

And it merely takes your name for you to lose every word on your tongue. Any word you could’ve conjured at that moment couldn’t have described how you felt. He looks dishevelled, and beautiful, hair unwashed and falling into his eyes, white top littered with stains and his pyjamas bottoms you bought him for Christmas hanging off his hips. 

His eyes lull from their immediate shock before he turns to look at his apartment, running a frantic hand through his hair and stumbling on his words. 

“Shit. I- I mean. I wasn’t really thinking- I didn’t expect you.”

You probably shouldn’t have come. Some people would’ve turned and gone the other way. Maybe that was the right thing to do, was that the brave thing? Were you being a coward by rooting to the spot and not being able to speak a word?

He looks at you, then behind you somewhere, then back into your eyes and his gaze sinks so far into yours, you think you might just cry there and then.

“Dooo you want to come in?” He sounds apprehensive, he probably thinks you are too, but all you want to do is be back in his apartment just like three weeks ago, touching him, talking to him unhinged, perhaps feeling the skin beneath his shirt where his heart lies, feeling if his heart has ached as yours has.

With blinking eyes that try not to glaze over, you nod, short and curt, and you miss the puff of air his mouth rings out with relief. 

He dashes away once you’re past the threshold, scampering around as if to distract you from the surrounding environment - it’s dusty, too cold and dark with the way the curtains shut out summer light and you barely recognise his floor as wood with the way food scatters and clothes are strewn.  Small shards of light reflect from out of the study and your eyes naturally draw there only to find a mess, door open just enough for the hoard of half-finished painting and wasted canvas’ to come into view. The door is closed by Taehyung like he knew where your gaze would lead you.

“I-I’m fucking sorry about this, it’s gross and it’s messy and i-”

“It’s just like mine.” The corners of your mouth turn up sympathetically but also because you’re relieved he’s not okay. It’s awful to say but heartache has clearly done a job on him too and for that you’re relieved. “Don’t worry, it’s just fine.”

“Just fine,” he mutters under his breath with a half-laugh. 

You’re still stood stuck to the doormat, jacket hanging tightly to you like a defence mechanism and your hands remain tight to your sides. When his eyes find yours, you seize up further like it’s the first time he’d ever seen you.

---

You’d told Janice one too many times for this situation to be coincidence. You may or may not have told her you were a sucker for exhibitionism. She’d found it all shits and giggles until the art class she headed entered into ‘naked form’ week and it was too good of an opportunity to pass by. 

So the robe drops and you’re way too aware of the last time you shaved - you think you’d be prepared, but pair a hangover with a 7:30 start and bodily care wasn’t the first thought to come to mind.

Janice gives off a flow of instructions, pointing to your body like you were a cow on show, and telling the artists to ‘admire her form, the way her body dips and flows and let you brush or pencil do the responding as though her body was talking to you’ - you almost scoff aloud at her waffle because art is so full of shit.

Exhibitionism kink or not, you’re thirty minutes in and the way your hip cramps and you eyelids lower, there is nothing alluring or desirable about this. 

But then the door on the far wall swings open all too harshly for your eyes to feign jolting away. And they blow out further when they’re met with the masculine figure uttering apologies and skidding halfway from door to seat with his urgency.

‘Just women’ she said. ‘Nothing to be worried about,’ she said. It ruined the whole ‘i like being stared at by fit men’ at first but then put you a little at ease that some 70 year old man, trying to spice up his last years of life with a too expensive art course, wouldn’t be staring your tits down. 

Yet here you were, with a man with eyes too beautiful to be tarnished by the view in front of him, gazing in shock at your naked body.

“Mr. Kim, it’s nude form week. Guessing you didn’t get the email?”

You only have your imagination for what his voice must sound like because he only shakes his head, throat too dried and scorched from you laid out, baring it all in front of him for him to say anything.

But your imagination didn’t do justice in those two hours of torture. Because his voice telling you he’s ‘sorry for interrupting the session’ and even ‘sorrier for being so unworthy of staring at something so beautiful’. 

You’d always hated cringe. But cringe never sounded so good when it was spun off Taehyung’s silk tongue.

---

“Can I get you anything?” 

It’s him who breaks the silence, and it’s a godsend because you were two seconds away from spinning on your heel and cowering out of the entire thing.

“N-no. Thank you, Tae.” 

He groans at the timidity of how you say his name and nickname at that.

And silence soaks the atmosphere again, tenser this time because greetings have been uttered, drinks offered and there’s nothing more to say that unspoken words of the past.

That’s what you thought you were here to do at least. To tell him you’re sorry, first and foremost, because you’d never intend to break a soul as tender-hearted as his. Then you were supposed to tell him that you loved him, and you would always love him, and that sacrifice must be made for the greater good.

Jungkook had told you that once. But he’d said Taehyung must be the one sacrificed and you should be the one salvaged - until you realised there was no greater good in that situation, no salvation to be had.

“I’ll sacrifice myself,” words come out loud and unexpected as your train of thought is voiced. They’re too loud also, and they break the atmosphere to his shock, so his brow furrows like he doesn’t understand. “I- I will sacrifice myself for you.”

His face falls and you can’t bear the way his words stutter and his throat fills with a choked cry, as though he’d held it in as soon as your presence had hit him. It must have done the same to you because your body befalls you and tears and on the floor as you work your feet towards where he is rooted.

“I can’t ask that of you. You know I can’t do that,” he closes his eyes when your  body meets his, hands firm on his cheeks because they’re wet with tears and his shoulders are hunched in pain, “please.”

“Please.” You reciprocate. 

This is it for you. You’ll do anything for this quivering shell in front of you. You’ll plead. You’ll beg. You’ll give up your livelihood and every mantra you have ever told yourself about self-preservation because fuck it, some things are too good that you have to lose yourself in them. 

“You- I-”

“I’m- I might not be ready for kids now. I will though. If that’s what it takes. Fuck it I’ll marry you tomorrow.”

He chokes on a sob when his eyes meet your pleading ones and a quick hand wipes the stains from his cheeks so he can see every expression you give to him - untainted and full of love.

“We can take our time over this or we can have it all at once, but it has to be we. I’ll really do it for you, I have to Tae,” another sob and a whimper, “isn’t that what we’re here for. Kids.” You’re babbling now in a frenzied expression of all you have to give, and you’re so lost in his eyes that you laugh out, “‘be fruitiful and multiply or some shit.’ I’ll do it, I swear to you.”

“You’re not even Christian.”

“I would be if you told me to.”

“Fuck.”

He kisses you quick and without care, wanting to feel everything you have to give him like it’s what keeps his heart beating - and it’s beating fast because you finally find fingertips under his shirt and against the pounding that intensifies underneath.

He grapples at your hair, then waist, then hair again because his hands can’t decide on what he wants most. So you grab at them yourself and intertwine fingers as though he’d never left you. Each knuckle deserves a kiss and that’s what you give when your lips part.

“I’m so sorry-” you keep kissing across his hand, “I ever left,” and bring his hands to your neck, “never again.”

The tears subside in his eyes as they do yours. There is still relief, hot and painful inside your stomach because you have come back to him and he has taken you back, as if there were never to be anything but the two of you as one, yet now he finds your lips in something that claims more than just love. Possession. He has to know you’re his.

You were correct when you thought his room would be as sorrowful as yours - heartache as painful as what you had felt. 

Food containers stripe the floor dirty. Towels strewn and clothes dirty and forgotten. Again the blinds are closed as though you’re not here at 5 in the afternoon when the sun begins to fall into the red and purple hues of evening. 

But the blinds leave enough of a gap that his face is haloed, angelic and all too beautiful for your eyes to feign staring when your mouth departs his. Eyes glow amber and skin glows golden and you never want to look away, not from him, not now.

“You really want this don’t you.” There’s no question to the way Tae speaks. Instead, it’s disbelieving, like he can’t quite fathom that it’s really your shirt he has under his fingertips and your smell that lingers under his nose. Heartbreak had slowed his heart enough that it’s beating too fast for him to keep up with, so he slows it down.

“I really want this- You. I really want you.”

“And everything that comes with me? You’re sure?”

It’s a loaded question but at this point it is so light on your shoulders you laugh, grabbing and pulling up his shirt so you can sink lips to his chest, trying to find the beat of a heart somewhere there. 

“You act like you’re a chore, Tae.” You’re eyes soften when he still looks like you like he’s young and vulnerable. “Baby, I am so sorry I ever did this to you. Left. And made you feel like that.” 

Your hands map his skin delicately and you preserve how it feels because you hope, but never know, if you’ll feel it again.

“Never again, yeh?”

“Yeah.”

Clothes are shed until he looks at your naked body like the art that he first saw it as. He wants to paint it, remember it and cherish it as though he’s never seen it before. Every scar and blemish, precious to his vision, but the painting would only be worth it to him because he’s all who gets to see you.

“You’re not gonna turn off the lights?” 

Something that you’d told him was a habit of yours. Maybe something, a subconscious body image thing that was another way of saying, ‘I can’t give my whole self to you, I’m sorry’. He’d ran with it as though it didn’t hurt his pride. But now, as you push him down on his bed and clamber over his thighs, he’s so grateful he never got to see you in this light, because he loves it all the more now.

Fingertips tremble over your thighs when your hips find his, naked crotch so close to where he throbs. 

“Tae,” his eyes don’t meet yours, pieced, instead, onto where your bodies are so close to meeting like his gaze can fuse them together. “Tae, it’s me. Relax.”

Purposefully, your hands find his hair and coax him into a state of submissiveness, because his body still quaked underneath you no matter the words you uttered. 

You can’t lie when you say sex was a factor in your relationship you had missed. There was a heartfelt bond that went deeper than sex.

Admittedly the flatmate before Tae, the friends before the boyfriend and your parents who knew you better than you admitted to yourself had all said you were sex before substance. Some hated you for it and some laughed. Some said, ‘I wish I could be as emotionally detached as you’ and some thought you were the local gal whoring about like bodies were meant to be used. Then, somehow, Tae flipped the whole thing on its head. Made you feel butterflies before orgasm and it had you spellbound. 

So, no. Sex wasn’t it for you when you were with him. 

Yet, here you were, over your man gleaming with the physical sweat of want and need as well as the even more apparent glow of how his body lit up for only you.

“How do you want me Tae, what can I give you?”

“Fuck.” His hands fall over his eyes, not comprehending that you’re his and you’re this plaint. No, he wants you to take over him. “Anything, baby. Fuck. Anything.”

Instantly nails brush over the hardness that had been laid out under your folds obediently since you’d found yourself on top of his crotch.

A man could only control himself so much and immediately Tae found his dick twitching and his hips leaving the mattress in favour of chasing your hand.

“Y/N, I really don’t know if I’ve got it in me for teasing, I’m so horny I could cum!”

Well then.

The outburst has you struggling to fight off a laugh because he seriously is that desperate. Not the laughing kind either. The all-bearing, stripped clean and pleading kind of desperate.

So, you sympathise and let your lips find his, hand still trailing lightly so he doesn’t cum early, but enough for the need to remain.

“You wanna be inside me Tae?” His tongue is on yours yet the words are clear. 

“Urgh, fuck, please.”

Your eyes peer between your bodies, mapping where his muscles, tight with restrictions, create a V-shape down to the very distinct outline of a red hard cock. You think it’s photograph worthy in the moment, something worth slipping the camera out for, and if you hadn’t kept his dick pics from months ago maybe you would. But:

“Please baby, -need it.”

You deny yourself the simple pleasure of slipping him in because Tae whining and pleading is something worthy for the spank bank. You drop lower down the bed so his hips meet your eyes and the skin glistens so beautifully in this light you have to leave his dick untouched just so you can kiss around the area. 

His stomach, thighs, crotch, they see it all, lips and tongue mapping bold strokes because he tastes just as you remember and you want to savour it.

“Y/N ple- oh fuck,” and the taste of his dick beats anything that preceded it, let alone the noise that came with it. 

His tip is taken care of first, small licks and stripes with your tongue, so he’s unsuspecting when you choke him whole.

“FUCK.” 

Hands grab your hair violently. He’s deep and hits the back of your throat so you choke, unashamed of the noise. You’re past that and you know he likes it anyways. 

You set a rhythm, and it soon becomes clear he’s going to cum from it and that you very much want him to. Your hand finds his balls to fuel the process and the other one snakes to your core because there’s nothing that beats Tae’s moans when he’s getting a good sucking. 

“I- Fuck Y/N, I can’t- Shit!”

He’s close. Stomach seizing and balls throbbing in your palm so you sink back down again and take the choke like you want it and you want his cum more. It’s fast from there.

“Love you. I’m cum- Fuckkkkk,” salt and warmth line your throat, but only for a short while because he came quick. His hips stutter a few times and your eyes water when you continue to take it. 

Then it’s cold and silent. Yet somehow you feel buzzed. Like someone cumming down your throat was enjoyable. Like you’d do it a thousand times over if it meant he’d say he loved you again.

The hands that had once set deep into your scalp and verged on making you horny now pulled at your cheeks to lift you to eye level. 

He’s sweaty and a mess. 

“You’re sweaty and a mess baby.” 

His laugh is unfiltered, wholesome and worthy of the way your heart stutters.

“Because someone’s got a mouth on them sent from the gods.”

Blush overtakes your cheeks, whilst your stomach tumbles over at the fact that your blowjob skills are up to scratch - you thought a month off might have done something to your ability but clearly, you’re still on point. The bitter taste in your mouth tells you enough. 

“What’ve I done to deserve you coming back.”

Sincerity returns into his eyes as well as his words, and somehow you feel his dick twitch again from underneath you. He’s so soft under your hands so you keep feeling at his skin to reassure you he’s real.

“Nothing. You’re enough. You’re it.”

You kiss and kiss again, keep going until the fire ignites in him once more where it still flamed for you.

“Please.”

His voice is low no matter how much he whines so a guiding hand slips him into where you’re filthily wet. And he’s huge despite seed already spilt. He’s loaded like it was meant for you and not your mouth, throbbing enough so your pussy can feel it.

And suddenly you realise it’s bare. Complete bare. As in, bare enough that you are willing to take on a child kind of bare.

His eyes tell the story when yours find his, wide and curious. They roll back into whites when you pull up fully and then sink back down, milking him for all he has so he knows this is your full intention. Naked in every sense.

“Shit, Tae.”

“Fuckkkkk,” he doesn’t swear often, but sex is a must and the quirk of your lips tells him just how much you like him losing himself in pleasure.

He hits deep from here, cock lodged far in and even further when he begins to take control. 

His feet plant and his hands pull you down so skin flushes to skin and he can pump up into you with unadulterated need. 

Your teeth have to clamp onto his shoulder with the way he hits your cervix, it’s uncomfortable yet you love it. That kind of sex where everything is so fulfilling that you just can’t mutter ‘stop’. How could you say such a thing anyway when he’s groaning that he loves you with every upbeat.

It hits good once. Twice.

“Tae, fuck. There.”

Three times. 

“Here?”

Again.

“Oh my fuc- Fuckkk,” and there’s nothing you can do when you’re so stimulated you tumble deep and hard onto him and continue to do over and over in waves. 

He’s finding his end in the way your pussy grips him. 

“Baby. Y/N, Cunt so good, jesus.”

You’re burning when he’s going so fast the headboard bangs louder than your moans. So your hand quickly finds his balls underneath you and that does him, unravels him to the point he quakes.

“Holy- Love you. Love you. Fuck. Love you.”

Your ears might ring but that’s all you hear for the next minute. His mantra that keeps his lust alive until his love is so set in stone the words are not needed. 

Your hand, winding into his hair and the thrum of your heart against his tells him enough.

It’s this. Silence and tranquillity yet with the constant buzz of electricity all around you.

You’re still there entangled, limbs on limbs and lights touches on bare skin as the slither of light through the blinds turns ruby red in the heat of sunset.

You know his eyes must glow golden from where the sun angles on his face so you can’t help but spare a glance. And you’re right when you imagined it as beautiful because the sun bathes him like it was meant to. 

He’s still awake because his eyes flutter when you trail the outside of your fingers down his cheek and then onto his lips. It’s even more apparent when he brings his hand up to yours so he can kiss each knuckle individually.

“You came inside.”

It weighed heavy on you, the obvious factor that had happened earlier. And before allowing the beauty of the moment to settle in you had to see his expression when you mentioned it.

Yet there’s nothing but closed eyes and the slight smile that had been painted on his lips since you’d told him how much you wanted him.

“Mmm.”

“And you’re okay with that?” It’s not harsh, just a question from you. A security query because you have to know what this was for him. Caught up in the moment or something deeper?

His eyes bolt open at the question though.

“Are you?”

You almost have to think. Almost.

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.”

“And so am I.”

[claire-willz]

I want you to know the number you did on me. I want you to know how badly you fucked me up. I can lie through my teeth and say how over you i am, and how i'm doing good now and I'm in a better mental state and whatever the fuck. I mean I think i am? I'm not 15 and self harming and shit anymore, I don't do the same shit I did back then. I don't know if I'm in a better mental state, or if I've literally just grown up. You fucking broke me. You broke my spirit, you broke my soul.You were so fucking mean to me, I still, 8 years later have your voice in my head mocking everything I do, including writing this bullshit. You fucking ruined me. My life and who I am would have been so different if I had never met you. I mean fuck, i was so desperate to get over you I started sleeping around with anyone who would give me the time of day, which eventually lead me to be a prositute because i thought 'i do it anyway but for free, why not get paid for it?'. In this whatever post I plan to be as vunerable as i can be, and in that, I feel like I'm worth fuck all because I was a prostitute. Because of you. 8 years later and saying your name feels like I'm spitting fire, my stomach turns and i get this rush of emotions, love, hate, heartbreak, guilt.. 6 years ago, I tried to take my own life. I remember thinking how when it worked you would say 'well she was actually strong enough to do it, never thought she would'. But It didnt so.. 5 years ago, I had the biggest depression breakdown to date which cost me not one but two hospital admissions in the space of 24 hours, and I remeber worrying that you would find out because I wanted you to know I had changed even though we hadn't spoken in 2 and a half years. I was depressed, the pressure that you still put over me to be everything i never was that you wanted collapsed me i suppose. Mix that with me trying to be a better person for you and never feeling like it was enough because you fucking hate me and honestly, i see myself the way you do, or did, been too long now, maybe after 8 years you changed your mind? just in case you came back, just in case. I don't remember the sound of your voice, I barely remember what you look like. I don't remember your likes and dislikes, I don't remember your traits and hobbies, But i remember how you made me feel. And I know, because ive been telling myself for years that i need to forgive you, and I think i have, But if i really had, I wouldn't be writing this, so i don't know. Everything I did to the drugs I smoked, the alochol I drank, the people I considered friends and the men i slept with was all to get over you, and in return... I got cripping anxiety as a result from all of it. My psychologists says that to me, you represented everything i wanted at the time even if it wasn't who you were. You represented the love i wanted from my dad, you represented a happy life, you represented acceptance and approval, stability, just everything I didn't have and never did have that subconsiously I always wanted.. and yes, you did put me into therapy, not soley you, but you did. You're right, I am crazy, and i blame you for it, you made me crazy then got mad when I was. But what i wanna know, is how the FUCK do i fix this mess you made, they say time heals all wounds but i disagree, a shitload of water has run under the bridge, every single cell in my body has changed, but the time hasn't healed the wounds its caused a huge infection, the water running under the bridge has stopped running and turned into a lake, the cells in my body still crave you and still yearn for your smell and the sound of your voice saying 'stress less baby'. If i could still remember, it would ring in my ears, but its hard too when your voice is basically forgotten in my memory. I don't know how to get over you, I've tried literally everything. Hypnotism, medication, drugs, alochol, sex (and alot of it), I've tried dating other guys,I've written you letters and burnt them,Ive talked about you in depth to that many fucking people its embarrasing, yet I'm still here. Saturday night and i'm still missing the absolute shit out of you and I'm still hurt over you, stalking any only tumblr profile that has even the hint of your existence then feeling my stomach turn when i remember how it felt when you did the things you did to me. Its like its october 2012 all over again, it feels the exact fucking same and I don't know why. I hate it, I wish it could stop but I really am convinced that I never will. I won't get over you, the damange you did won't heal. I hate you, I hate you so much it literally lets my skin aflame, but I would do absolutely anything to have you back in my life. I don't think I'll get this happy ever after I've been dreaming of, I don't think I'll find someone and get married. I wish you never existed, because this isnt normal. The feelings and everything i go through daily still isn't normal. And i wish it wasn't like this. 24/7 you're torturing me. And i mean youre happy now, you have a wife and a kid, you moved on so long ago I'd be suprised if you ever remembered me. You won't ever read this, and i hope you don't. Maybe this is just another lame attempt to get over you, it won't work, but helps the pain for a little while. Being completly vunerable and honest in a 'letter' isn't something ive done yet. The rest that i wrote were all bullshit on how i forgive you and how i dont love you anymore and how i am doing so much better than you ever thought possible and blah blah blah. All lies, they feel real at the time and maybe they are, but when its moments like these that are so fucking raw the truth just comes out and i'm here, thinking of you and hating everything thats happened. I see my life and three sections, before you, during you, and after you. Before you life was easy, during you.. life was amazing and intense and extreme, after you is pain and denial. Its embarrasment and sadness. Evens bandaids fall off, even stitches get infected. Open wounds sometimes stay open. And its your fault. Maybe if you did come back life would get easier for me, maybe i wouldn't hear your voice, maybe I would go crazy on you again. I know i did awful things to you, but were they that awful? I did them because i was hurt, but you did worse too, and you never owned up to it, and yet youre still the victim in my eyes, even though you moved on and you don't feel the way i feel. I am the victim here, not you and fuck you for thinking that, fuck me for thinking that, I'm just as bad for viewing you that way, I could probably choose not too, but its so embedded into my subconsious i don't see any other way to view you. Because i hate you like you were the bad guy, and love you like you were the victim. It would have been easier if you died, not gonna lie about that. If you had died, my life would be easier. I don't mean that as 'i wish you were dead', but i mean that if you hadnt of left my by choice, it would probbaly be easier to deal with. I know ive changed as a person, i made alot of mistakes and i grew up and grew from them which is something every single person has done and yet i feel your judgement in the harshest way for every single one of them. I carry the guilt for the things that i did as if i did them to you, the one i cared/care about most. I don't know how well this explains everything within me ranting about shit and whatever, but i tried.

[notyobabygirl]

hey girl! this will be long i’m so sorry 🥺

i’ve gained weight since quarantine started which is also around the time i started dating my bf. we eat out a few days a week and i get 0 exercise now. my days consist of me waking up around 8am, babysitting until 5pm, going to my bf’s house until 1am, coming home & spending the rest of my night watching my shows and snacking until i go to bed around 2/3/4am. growing up my weight would fluctuate a lot: in elementary school i was chubby, in middle school i magically lost it all and was skinny, freshman/sophomore year of hs i was a literal twig and super unhealthily skinny, junior year i gained a little weight but was still skinny, and senior year (last year also when i first met my bf) was probably the best my body has been. it’s funny because last year i thought i was fat and was insecure but now looking back, i was literally perfect and i would kill to look like that again. i see how easy it was for me to gain weight over the years and i want to make a change in my habits so bad but with my schedule and with gyms being closed where i live it’s hard. i’m gonna try to not make excuses though lol but my issue is once i start, i want to see the results asap or i get really unmotivated. ik a girl from my school who has lost 70lbs since last year and she posted a tiktok about it and it made me feel better like i could do it. i have a weird relationship with food though. i would literally starve myself in 8,9,10th grade and now i love food and i actually have an appetite. my weight gain has also caused me to be insecure in my relationship. i’m constantly wondering if my bf is less attracted to me or if he notices it. he’s never mentioned it but i have to admit i was so much hotter when he first met me than i am now. and all his past girls that ik of are relatively skinny and i think about that too and compare myself :/ in the back of my mind i know i’m really insecure about gaining weight but i usually don’t let it get to me. but tonight i decided i wanted to ‘see what i look like from someone else’s view’ so i set up my phone using flash and the back camera and turned/posed so i could see how my body looked. i actually did a few of these videos (i was wearing a tight cropped tank top and baggy sweats). and i feel so disgusted by myself. i knew i gained weight but i looked like a whale from certain views. most of the weight i gained went to my tummy and arms sadly. from behind my arms/shoulders look so fat and my stomach is the biggest it’s ever been. most people wouldn’t consider me “fat” but i feel huge. i want to start good habits (eat better, exercise more, etc) but i don’t know where to start or how long i’ll last. i know it’ll be worth it in the end but i need motivation right now to even begin. i’m so sorry that was a literal book to read, but it would mean a lot if you had any tips on staying motivated, how i can eat healthier and exercise while having such a strict schedule? i don’t necessarily want to “diet” and the amount of information that is out there on eating habits and working out is so confusing. like everyone says different things and contradict each other that idk what i exactly should do to reach my goals. i want to lose general weight (especially in my tummy and arms) and overall be more confident and happy. thank you 🤍 sorry again for the length of this!

hi hi! well first of all I dont think your boyfriend got any less attracted to you at all! boys are also pretty oblivious. dont worry about what he thinks because its not important. he loves you for you and clearly if he has never even said anything then that proves my point even more! also wanna say I have taken self timer pictures of my body and I was mortified too lol. like I swear it made me look 10x worse than I did so dont look too much into the pictures. adding exercise into your diet will help so if you want to wake up before babysitting (I dont blame you if you dont lol) then that would be a great way to start the morning and get it over with. but If you dont then after babysitting take an hour to go to the gym or do workouts at home. to lose weight you need to be in a calorie deficient. if you do little to no activity during the day and just eat shit all day then it will catch up with you (it did to me beginning of the year). dedicate ATLEAST 30 minutes into doing something. I have been so into walking for an hour and listening to podcasts, its like my fav things. eating healthy is the most important part though, tell your boyfriend you are eating healthy and you will go with him to get food but you won't always get something or you will find the healthiest option. growing up I always thought that eating healthy means eating gross foods but eating healthy can be soooo yummy. tik toks really helped me find recipes as well as going on Pinterest or even just going to the grocery store and experimenting. buy healthy snacks, veggies, skinny pop, halo top, hummus, rice cakes and pb, fruits, frozen fruit, smoothies. that helped me start losing weight and replacing unhealthy foods with good healthy ones. the grocery store is like the first step and getting into that mindset like ok im going to eat healthy is important. you know you can do it, anyone can do it. you just have to be ok with saying no to eating out and stuff. drink sooo much water, I have a 40oz hydro flask and I think I drink close to like 2 gallons not kidding. also tea!! I love tea so much. If you dont buy the junk food then you cant eat it! I know you can do this, you got this!!!!!!

[comradesnufkin]

CAN YOU ELABORATE ON THE PJO RIPOFF MANUSCRIPT PLEASE

TW incest

(dont reblog)

AHSHHSHADB alright. so.

for this class we all had to turn in two max. 15 page manuscripts over the course of the semester. they could be excerpts from longer projects we had planned, short stories, whatever we wanted. everyone in the class would get a copy so we could give the writer that week feedback.

and this dude. josh. turned in what i (a person who has never even read pjo) immediately recognized as a ripoff. now this was over a year ago so my memory is hazy, but if i'm not mistaken, the summer camp the protagonists (who iirc all had j names for some reason??) went to was called camp half life, there was a camp counselor named chiron, everything was based on greek mythology - you get it. just pjo but worse. one my classmates who was way braver than me pointed out that the similarities were iffy as hell but josh just shrugged it off.

anyway. the weirdest part - and he did this in both manuscripts he turned in - was that he would spend RIDICULOUS amounts of time giving longwinded and yet completely superficial descriptions of characters who only had, like, one line to say (if anything) and were never heard from again. there was a scene where all the kids were at lunch i think, and everyone at the fucking table got a whole paragraph dedicated to, like, their names and patron gods and fucking eye color or whatever even if they werent important for the scene and they didnt have any dialogue. and Thats where the incest element came in.

he just? casually mentioned? that two twelve year old side characters? were dating? and they were cousins? and went to great lengths to assure the readers that it was ok? because greek mythology had incest too? and all the other characters just accepted this? hello? where am i???

i think it was the same girl who pointed out during critique that it was a pjo ripoff who raised her hand and was like "i REALLY questioned the decision to include incest" which almost had me on the fucking floor because the whole class was so uncomfortable and i was wondering when and how someone was gonna bring it up. i wonder how that girls doing i hope shes doing good.

anyway yeah. i mean the guys manuscripts were tedious for all sorts of reasons but at least the other one he handed in was original. this one was just. almost insulting? like did he not expect anyone to notice?? its pjo???? i havent even READ pjo and i noticed my dude you have fucked up.

what made it worse is that he was always lowkey bragging about how Much stuff he'd written, and it's like, yeah, if you dedicate several paragraphs to characters who have nothing to do and nothing to say, youre gonna end up with a high word count, but that doesnt make it worth reading!!

anyway. thats the story. i hope you enjoyed reading it more than i enjoyed reading the manuscript itself

[thewritingstar]

Gift Swap!!

So for the @kuroshironekoserver gift exchange, I got the lovely @diabl0o

now you asked for BakuDeku which ive never written before so i apologize in advanced but this was kinda fun to write their dynamic so i hope you enjoy this and if you dont i am sorry for the trash you are about to read. Anyways here ya go :) 

Pairing: BakuDeku

Word count: 2.5k

---

The bell gave off its routine ringing and all students from every class made their way to the cafeteria for lunch. Chatter and laughter filled the hallways and Class 1-A was no exception. They had all finished up their English session with Present Mic and were packing up their bags and filing out the doors.

Deku fiddled with his notebook before huffing and pushing open the door, too many thoughts were running in his mind as the day had gone by. He was one to over think everything but this was on a whole new level.

“Deku!” Uraraka called and he turned around to find her wrapping her arm around his and started walking with him. “Are you nervous?” She asked, which in both of their defenses was an understatement and lackluster question in general.

“Yeah, I just hope it goes well.” His palms began to sweat as he wiped them on his pants and they took a seat at their usual table with Todoroki, Iida and Tsyu.

“I'm sure it will be amazing! Don’t worry!” Her usual bright smile should have made him feel better but it didn’t, not in the slightest.

“What's gonna go amazing?” Tsyu asked and all eyes were on the sweating green bean of a boy.

“Today you’re asking Bakugou out and hoping that he doesn’t reject you and ruin your life right?” The bluntness of Todorkoi was scolded by Uraraka and Tsyu quickly.

“You think he will ruin my life?” Deku pushed his face into the table and they all tried to cheer him up.

“No, no, of course not.” Uraraka shot a glare at the duo haired boy who shrugged and tried to reason.

“Nothing bad is going to happen.” Todoroki said to redeem himself.

“We are all here to support you no matter what!” Iida chimed in.

Deku was thankful to have such great friends and turned his head and found the blond at his own table yelling at Kirishima for something minor.

“He’s just so dreamy.” Deku panicked as he watched the blonds fists exploded as they connected with the table.

“Yeah he sure is.” Tsyu said with a short tone and Uraraka let out a giggle.

They all finished their lunch and helped him prepare his speech.

“Go get him tiger!” Uraraka cheered as the bell rang and they all headed to their next class which coincidentally had Bakugou and Deku working in a pair.

Deku let out a small wave as they parted to their respectful locker rooms. Inside his stomach began to twist knowing that in a few minutes, his confession would be made known.

In the locker room, all the boys were putting on their hero costumes and messing around. In the corner Deku went over his lines one more time but knew that a long speech probably wouldn’t go as planned. The bell rang and the boys walked to the center of the field, Deku never taking his eyes off of the guy who had his heart.

“For today's exercise we are going to do pair fighting. You and your partner will dispatch into the makeshift city or forest and anything you find a team, you battle them. Remember to try and keep them quick and simple, work on kill shots and heavy hitting moves. The team to take out the most pairs or has the best moves will get extra credit on their next exam. When the whistle blows make your way out and find a place, then when the bell chimes, your free to go.” Mr Aizawa spoke as he took a spot on the bench and stat down. The whistle came to his lips and her blew.

“To the fucking forest Deku.” Bakugou said. He was thankful that Bakugou referred to him mostly as Deku and nothing else. After three years and their last year at U.A, their relationship chemistry had softened and rivals wasn’t really what they were any more. More like acquaintances but Deku dreamed they would become more towards the end of graduation.  

“Yeah okay.” Deku responded and followed the blond. He kept his eye on his back as they walked for a few minutes, his mind escaping to all the outcomes of his confession.

“If we go out here, there's gonna be less chance for an ambush. We can make our way behind the buildings and to the city, plus the pond is where Frog legs and Half n Half are probably at.” Bakugou rambled but Deku couldn't be more unfocused.

Soon he collided with a hard surface which happens to be Bakugou's back.

“Are you paying attention Deku?” Bakugou spat, his red eyes beaming into the green of Dekus.

“Oh yeah forest, pond, city. Got it.” He repeated.

Bakugou furrowed his eyebrows but left it alone as the bell sounded.

“Lets go!” Bakugou yelled and they both took off running towards the pond.

As pace picked up Deku tried to find the perfect moment to tell him. He needed it to be just the two of them or else he might regret doing it in front of their classmates, he knew the gossip would be a landmine for the class, especially Mina.

The pair approached the edge of the pond and hide behind the rocks of the small waterfall. In the distance was Tsyu and Todoroki. They definitely had the advantage with the water and Deku then questioned why Bakugou would even want to put themselves in this position.

“Fuck that icyhot bastard.”

“Spite.” Deku whispered with realization. The only way to beat them is to catch them off guard.

However their plans were disrupted as a battle broke out between Todoroki, Tsyu, Hagakure and Sero.

Perfect. This was good enough for Deku. As the other teams dueled it out, it was time for the big reveal.

“Hey Bakugou.” He said quietly and the blond turned to him with his usual scowl.

“What?” He spat but it wasn’t harsh.

“I was wondering if you wanted to maybe study or get coffee sometime?” His breathing hitched as Bakugou raised a brow.

“Didn’t we fucking get shit yesterday?”

Deku’s eyes widened and he shook his hands before scuffling out a laugh.

“Well yeah but that was with all our friends...I was thinking just the two of us.” He continued. “Like a date.”

In that moment Bakugou's eyes enlarged and his lips tightened into a thin line. He looked like he was processing the request over and over again.

Deku waited for a response but then heard a crash in the water. The pair snapped their heads at the four of them and saw that Sero had been thrown by Froppy.

“Now!” Bakugou yelled as he ignored the question at hand and jumped onto the scene.

Deku followed in suit and caught the four on the surprise attack. Quickly they manage to take them down and head to the city. The question still loomed overhead and he felt a little bad that he corrupted his thoughts when they were in training.

More fights around the city came about and Bakugou blew up a car when Momo and Denki were announced the winners.

“Wow congrats you two!” Uraraka beamed and the rest of them filed in to complement the pair.

“Yeah dude you really need the boost.” Kirishima laughed and then received a punch from Denki.

Deku smiled at his friends but turned to see Bakugou stomping towards the locker room. He quickly left the group and caught up with him.

“Bakugou?” He asked hesitantly but he made no motion to stop.

“Not now.” He ended the conversation by walking in and only appearing for dinner but even then Deku didn’t have a chance to say anything more.

“So he said no?” Uraraka asked as she sat on Dekus bed.

Spinning in his swivel chair, Deku sighed. “Well he didn’t say no exactly but the mood definitely wasn’t pleasant. I just hope I didn’t ruin anything between us.

She was unsure of how to comfort him because Bakugou wasn’t the type to open up easily. “I can ask Kirishima-”

“No its fine, lets just leave it alone.”

Uraraka nodded before turning on an action movie starring All Might. She could tell he was putting on a brave face but teenage heartbreak was on the list of worst feelings in the world.

--- Two days had passed by since his confession or date invitation. Bakugou hadn’t responded to Deku and even Kirishima wasn’t told about what had happened. This was pure torture for Deku. He spends his days in class staring at the back of the blondes head, waiting for him to turn around and answer him, but it was no use.

And he had enough. After class had ended for the day, Deku caught Bakugou walking towards the locker room. Making sure that no one else was around, he locked the door trapping them both in.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Bakugou snapped as the door shut.

“I want my answer, it's been two days.” Deku said boldly but not leaving his space. The angered expression didn’t leave Bakugou's face as he stood silently.

Deku let out a huff before hugging his arms around his body. He tried not to let any tears gather in his eyes. He couldn’t cry in front of his crush, especially not at a time like this.

“Look Bakugou, if you didn’t want to go on a date all you had to say was no. It's okay.” Deku shrugged but even his eyes couldn’t hide his heartbreak. “I would have understood.”

“It wasn’t a no.”

Deku blinked. Not sure if he heard him correctly, looked around the room then focused on Bakugou. “Then why-”

“Because I'm a broken person!” He yelled as his fists sparked at his sides. “And don’t give me any bullshit about how im not and im a great guy cause its not gonna fucking work.”

“Bakugou, I-”

An explosion sent out from his palms and hit one of the lockers. At that moment neither of them cared. Bakugou was a mess. His mind was racing it almost hurt to think, he felt like Denki in that moment.

“I don’t fucking get it Izuku. Why on earth would you even want to be with someone like me? I was an asshole to you. Why don’t you run to icy hot, round cheeks or anyone else who is worth a damn?” He sighed and plopped onto one of the benches.

Deku stood wondering what to do. A small smile formed on his face as a fond memory came to him.

“When I was a kid I had a music box.”

“What the fuck?”

“Just listen please.” He said and Bakugou shrugged and let him continue. “This music box was my favorite thing, also the only non All Might thing I owned. It was supposed to play a little melody and when you opened the top, a small ballerina danced around.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He asked watching the boy ramble on.

“When my mom gave me it, the music skipped and cracked in certain places. It didn’t even sound quite right and even the girl would only turn a few times before standing still. But even after my mom asked if I wanted her to fix it or buy me a new one, I refused. Its shaky music and still ballerina was perfect in my eyes, no matter how broken or damaged it was.”

He remained silent as Deku took a seat next to him.

“Katsuki, I know that you weren’t the greatest friend in the past and sure you weren’t the easiest to get along with, but no matter how harsh you could be to the world, I always saw the golden light you beamed with. Sometimes even the best things are broken, but that doesn’t mean they are any less beautiful.”

The confession took Bakugou by surprise. It wasn’t a simple “hey I like you.” or “ You’re hot so we should date.” Instead it was more of a “I like you, even with your flaws.” A warm fuzzy feeling went into his chest and he hated it but craved it more.

“Alright fine!” He said.

“So you’ll go on a date with me?” Deku asked, his voice rising several octaves due to his excitement.

“Yeah, yeah i’ll go on one with you. Your ass better not be late.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Deku replied before walking towards the door. He unlocked it and pushed on the handle before he was turned around and pressed against the door.

Soon his eyes met with crimson ones that were extremely close and he could feel their noses touching. His eyes closed as Bakugou leaned and pressed their lips together quick and fast.

“I like you too...Izuku.” Bakugou said as his eyes went to anywhere except for the blushing boy he just kissed.

“See you later Bakugou, have fun training.” Deku said as his heart pounded fast in his chest.

“Katsuki.” He heard as he pushed the door open.

As soon as the door shut, Deku raced to find Uraraka. He saw her walking with Todoroki and basically slammed her into the ground.

“HE SAID YES!” He cheered and then helped her up. His body was shaking from excitement and he was still on the high if the kiss.

“So you have a date?” She asked and he nodded quickly before racing off.

“Young love.” Todoroki said as they watched their friend run off to who knows where. --- A knock came from the other side of Dekus door. He called the person on the other side to just come in and the door opened to reveal a date ready Bakugou.

“You ready yet?” He asked and watched as Deku ran around trying to get all the last minute things together like his shoes and socks.

“Mm hmm. Oh crap! I forgot that Mina as my tie, I'll be right back!” He said but was already running out the door towards the girls dorms.

Bakugou didn’t have time to yell at him for running late so he just looked around his room. Of course everything was All Might themed and inside he was losing his mind at all the cool stuff. He turned to see something on his desk.

It was a small wooden box that had many scratches. On the back was a key to turn and since his curiosity got the best of him, he did. He then opened the top and realized that the small ballerina in front of him was the one he talked about during his confession. He was right when he said that she did not spin correctly and the song wasn’t as pleasant to listen too.

It mesmerized him. It was broken and damaged, yet he still liked it. He thought that maybe he wasn’t as bad as people said he was. Maybe he was that ballerina, always turning to the music but get stuck sometimes.

He set the box down as he heard footsteps coming closer. Deku appeared with his tie on and apologized for his lateness. Shrugging Bakugou passed him and pressed a kiss on his cheek.

“Thats alright, let go before a long fucking line shows.”

Izuku nodded and grabbed the handle of the door, he noticed that his music box was moved but didn’t say anything about it. He caught up with Katsuki and they held hands as they walked to the restaurant.

“Still beautiful.” Deku thought to himself.

----

sooo I hope you liked it. 

[artificialenvy]

CALLOUT POST

@currynahh / @currynya is a shitty person.

I am making this post because I refuse to let them throw around accusations that I'm a predator.

Reasons I believe they are shitty:

I have ADHD, but I'll try not to derail any points.

After not seeing my spouse since Highschool, they invited them to a discord server. I was brought along and given a "+1" role, as in "This person isn't one of us, just @twiranux 's +1. I wouldn't have had a problem with that if it didn't create and "In group" and "out group" where the people in the ingroup treated the +1 role as "not a friend, just a +1."

They have a room for venting in that server, as a lot of people do. I have seen people typing in there on three occasions and decided not to interrupt them for my own needs, however the time I got to start typing in there and posted a couple of messages to indicate I would be typing, someone else came in and made it about them. I doubt they meant harm by that, but I went to @currynahh and explained it hurt to be silenced like that. I wasn't looking for an apology, I was looking for a solution so other people don't get hurt. My proposed suggestion was a second vent room for if there were 2 people needing it at once on that large a server, it would be helpful, or atleast a rule about interrupting vulnerable people. They dismissed this saying "two rooms wouldn't help because what if there were THREE people" which, if there were three people at the same time one would still have to wait, but the line would be split in half and people would be able to use it if it was an emergency and the first space was already taken without interrupting.

When they dismissed this idea, I said (and I dont have the exact quote as I left the channel, something @currynahh is very particular about is exact phrasing.) "If there's no rule against interrupting I guess next time I'm in need to type and someone is already using the safe space, I'll just be That Dickhead[TM] and interrupt? Can't wait." to which they threatened me with a ban, assuming I meant I was going to actively hurt people instead of just pointing out that there being no rule meant ANYONE could be That Dickhead[TM]

I also pointed out the inconsistency of threatening me with a ban for saying I'd do what the other user actually did and cut someone off. (they never spoke to the person who interrupted me about the event, to my knowledge, and I never spoke to them or saw their name) so I referred to them as "the fucker who interrupted me." Not in a mean way, just.. Here people can be called fuckers, like calling kids brats. I apologized once they said they found that rude, but they kept bringing it up saying I was name calling.

This is Hearsay, but apparently they said the person probably interrupted me because of ADHD, they seem a bit too comfortable deciding what is a factor of someone's else disabilities without consulting them.

Them dismissing my problems and threatening me with a ban instead of trying to fix their server made me actually go to name calling, and I still feel it's fair to call them a heartless cunt. Heartless for pretending to care when really they just wanted to defend someone in the in-group, Cunt cause it's a great word and it fits. I know the word Cunt is seen more harshly in some places, again, so much here. They really take offense to regional and class based dialects. They went to a private school and were calling me mean for just calling a dude I had no name for as "a fucker" when to me, someone who's poor and went to public school in a shitty town in Ontario, it's the norm here.

Since they showed they really didn't care I told them they were fake and left their channel, my spouse chose to follow me which I didnt know about at the time.

They DMed my spouse with another person who hasn't spoken to my spouse or I in 6 years to call me toxic, abusive and a predator. My spouse said they wouldn't have that conversation without me, as its childish and unproductive to just talk behind peoples backs. When @currynahh kicked me out of the group chat, refusing to talk like adults, my spouse asked me to log into their account to participate since they didn't want to be cornered by these two people to talk shit about someone they care about.

They call me toxic and abusive because I vaguely know the passwords to @twiranux 's accounts, despite never logging in unless asked to (for example a daily event in a videogame that they won't be able to make in time but wants the rewards.) and because on one occasion while I was napping, my spouse forgot an agreement we made about watching a specific movie together and I was upset about that, as I'm sure most people would be if their partner agreed to not watch something without them. I tried to keep my cool and just stay out of the way of their enjoyment, but my spouse wanted me to join in atleast for the end so I did, still grumpy but trying to make the best of it. If they had waited an hour or chose a different movie, things would've been different but @currynahh doesn't want "excuses."

They call me a predator because the person I'm married to is 2 years younger than me. @twiranux and I have been together almost 9 years now, we started Long Distance Online Dating just playing minecraft, listening to owl city (our song's Honey and The Bee 🐝,) and making Garry's Mod youtube videos. We would've been about 13 and 15 at the time, though it is worth noting that our birthdays were less than a month away from when we started dating so 14 and 16 if you want to make that distinction, I was in class with people the same age as my spouse. They think the age is gross, but we were two neurodivergent kids who were extremely sheltered at the time (helicopter parents/physical disabilities) who could only have freedom online. We had met through liking the same movies and youtubers and knew eachother a year before, while I was asking for advice on asking someone else out, my now spouse confessed attraction to me and I suggested we try "dating" for a bit, which consisted of nothing new except drawing cute pictures and giving eachother nicknames. I dont know if I knew their age at the time, but I did think they were a boy which didn't change anything, just hopefully shows I wasn't some 30 year old neckbeard hunting for kids on the net, I was just a disabled kid who was caught off guard by a confession of attraction and rolled with it.

@currynahh says they have proof that we weren't innocent in highschool, as (they claim) we asked them to write nsfw fanfic about us, which.. we didn't? My spouse has no idea where thats coming from and neither do I so just a blatant lie. Not that it's anyone's business but my spouse and I didnt meet in person for about 4 years and anything physical took place after we were both legal adults, im not comfortable going into more detail.

After my spouse had me log onto their account to show they weren't going to be cornered by those two, I was allowed back into the group chat to try and figure out why they think im problematic, but @currynahh insists im just making excuses when I've just been saying exactly what im saying here. They say I'm sugarcoating it, I disagree. I dont have the exact words I said about everything, but admitting to calling her a Heartless Cunt isn't something I'd do if i were sugarcoating it as she suggests. This is how it played out they keep trying to shove me into this "abuser" box they framed me in without knowing me.

They would repeatedly spew paragraphs of "points" then block me and leave the group chat while I was typing up a response. They don't want excuses (read: explanations) and they don't care about facts (that they misunderstood certain things and was willing to clear up what I meant if they weren't so caught up on semantics.)

I will not go into my partners mental illnesses on this platform, but they have a psychiatrist who I've met and I have to (sometimes in a way that looks controlling to someone who doesn't know the problems) keep my spouse grounded. The Psychiatrist thought I was doing a great job at managing it, but @currynahh disagrees, saying I'm enabling (without even letting us tell them what the problem is or how im helping.)

Which brings us to the next point; they say I can't talk about the mental health of myself or my spouse because it will trigger them, meaning they block any attempt we make at explaining how it works. They treat us as a neurotypical couple and call it abusive when I'm literally just doing what's deemed best by a psychiatrist for my spouse.

For DARING to tell her to stop calling me a predator, she calls me a narcissist, which is just.. Very cool. Love me some armchair diagnosis. They also diagnosed me with anger issues (from one call in which I was grumpy and then me trying to defend myself from these accusations.) So really, I think docs are being paid too much 'cause @currynahh is doing their job for free.

Because they weren't listening to my spouse, my spouse decided to stop typing, especially since she was just going on long rants then leaving the server before we could reply. Whenever @twiranux gets a chance to speak, @currynahh would leave the server claiming it triggers their anxiety to face the consequences of what they said. Then they would tell me to quit speaking over @twiranux when I was just speaking on our behalf, while in a call with @twiranux due to these reasons.

Instead of keeping their nose out of our relationship like we were asking, they kept trying to tell my spouse (who chose to marry me and lives in another country) that im abusive because they think trusting eachother is a sign of abuse.

Instead of listening that we're fine, they throw a tantrum and tell us to go to marriage counseling (which, although I wouldn't be opposed to going, is very telling that they think people can just do things that require money on a whim.)

They say that "instead of saving up to move in together and have kids you should put money towards marriage counseling" which again, what savings do they think I have? My bank account has -$4.00 in it and my spouse can't work right now. We have nothing.

They keep bringing up kids and how would we raise them? Would they not have privacy? Its a stupid point they threw out there as currently there aren't plans to have kids and there's huuuge difference between a married couple knowing eachothers passwords and not letting your kids have privacy.

They keep bringing up the fact that we've lost friends before without knowing why. So if they want to private message me I'd be happy to tell her about how we left our last friend group after a dispute where the other people were claiming the N word was inoffensive. Or the group that actually was trying to get into my spouses pants and we weren't comfortable there. You keep making accusations then refusing to listen to facts.

Idk if I'm missing anything, if they unblock me and see this they will probably say I'm staw-manning again without actually telling me how and while having no counter arguments. They also don't accept my adhd for accidentally derailing, while using theirs to deflect any criticism.

Karina, you don't know us and you say even talking about our mental health will trigger you, so you need to accept that you're unwilling or unable to understand the dynamics of our relationship but just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it's toxic. I wouldn't have made this post if you didn't keep calling me a predator, but I need to clear that accusation publicly before you keep throwing around dangerous labels.

Grow up. Get some help. Learn that your POV isn't the only one.

[queenscoolcat]

Masterlist

Queen

The boys see you dance to your favourite song that they wrote

Roger Taylor

Eavesdropping Reader hears a conversation that makes her a little subconscious of her actions since Roger came back from tour. 

A Little Insecure Reader gets a little insecure and thinks his boyfriend Roger Taylor is cheating.

Someone Better Reader is feeling herself and ready to have a good time until Roger feels insecure when he sees her talking to Brian.

I Miss Us Roger and reader aren’t dating anymore but love is still there

Enough A fight escalates pretty quickly till Roger lose it and scares the reader.

Puppy Eyes The boys realize that Roger can’t resist your puppy eyes, so they decide to take that as an advantage.

Run Away After reader finds out that Roger is cheating on her, she decided to break his heart as well.

I Would Never Do It after arguing and making assumptions you decided to settle it with a make out session.

Only For You Reader finds Rogers behavior a little odd, so finally they ask him about it.

Birthday Boy Reader surprises Roger in an odd way after they don’t get a reaction they expected, they start to look for someone else until Roger notices that and changes it.

The Problem Reader is tired of Roger not caring about them.

Brian May

Jealousy you got me somehow Brian saw you talking to a guy in a pub and discovers that jealousy just got him.

 Hate How much I Love You Reader and Brian have an argument after he confessed he couldn’t attend her graduation.

(hc) Arms Unfolding  of the song arms unfolding by Dodie.

(hc) Fat Bottom Girls Headcanon  : Reader is insecure about her butt so Brian writes her a song.

Back Chat (Smut)   Brian isnt in a good mood when he finds out John wrote a song for him, but you finding the situation hot kind of help

Birthday Wish (Smut)  Its Brian birthday, and even though you plan a bunch of surprises, Brian ends up surprising you too.

John Deacon

A little Matchmaker Reader takes a walk in the park with her misbehaving dog when suddenly her dog decides to play matchmaker.

The Gift: Deacy was dared to wink at the prettiest girl in the front row, and when he did, he recived a gift from it.

What An Accident reader’s an engineer who does the pyrotechnics for queen, One day the pyrotechnics malfunction and reader gets hurt and john’s worried abour reader.

Reader x Roger Taylor x Brian May x John Deacon 

Let’s Help Each Other (smut) The boys need readers help with a song, and it turns even more interesting when reader realize what they truly want are your moans.

Let’s Do It Again (Part 2 of  Let’s Help Each Other)

Brian May x Reader x Roger Taylor

Soulmates

BoRhap

Joe Mazzello

pure fluff After a really tiring day, Joe comes and makes it better.

Less Shitty (Part 2 of pure fluff) Joe makes sure that your day doesn’t end up being shit.

(hc) Meeting Joe At A Party : Readers goes to a party where she doesn't know anyone until Joe approaches her.

I Love You (smut)  reader says for the first time “I love you” during sex and Joe reacts in way Reader would never think of.

Little One reader just started dating Joe, and she’s shorter than him, but Joe doesn't notice until the day she stays with him.

Lazy Morning just a lazy morning with Joe… there is not much I can say.

Better To Be Quiet (Smut) being in the house of Joe’s mother you know you can’t make much noise, but that doesn’t stop Joe

The Last Present (smut)  After a long day you decide to give Joe his last birthday present.

Pat Murray

A Girl On The Field Reader is new in the team and Pat seems to take a liking in reader

Ben Hardy

Open Your Eyes (Smut) Reader is a VS model after Ben sees her on the runway all he wants to do is celebrate with her at home.

Out Of Love Reader and Ben used to love each other but it seems they fall out of love. 

That Thing You Do Based on the dialogue When was the last time you were decently kissed? I mean truly, truly good and kissed?” from That thing you do

Light My Candle   Based on “light my candle” from rent

Such A Child Ben and reader have a fight cause of the age gap

The First Time (Smut) Virgin Ben and reader decided to finally do it.

Valentine’s day (Smut)

I Wanna Be Yours:  going to an Arctic Monkeys concert with Ben and he sings I wanna be yours in your ear

What A Surprise Ben catching reader using her toys and he decides he wants to help

Roxanne Ben falling in love with an escort ( Something on the line of the song Roxanne)

Viva Las Vegas Reader and Ben run away to Las Vegas to get married, you dont tell anyone until your parents give you a visit and see your ring and the  marriage certificate

Weeding Night (Smut) Ben and Reader just came home from their wedding

Worth It Ben Hardy gets sick and the reader takes care of him and domestic fluff ensues

Rami Malek

A Little Brat (Smut) Reader isnt that much pleased with Rami being a brat, so they make sure to punish him later on.

Lucy Boynton

Red Lipstick Reader can’t contain herself when she sees Lucy with red lipstick on so she decided to do something about it.

Ben Hardy x Reader x Joe Mazzello

That Is Not My Name After you saw the video Joe posted all you want is to fuck your boyfriend… and Ben as well.

The Show After teasing Joe all day, he decides to punish you only to find that in the middle of your punishment Ben was hearing to everything you were doing.

Rami Malek x Reader x Lucy Boynton

After The Oscars

Prompt List

Roger Taylor

“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry.”

“We are not friends and you fucking know it”

“You are so fucking adorable”

“Walk out that door and we’re through”/“Why are you so jealous?”

“I can’t breathe”

“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”/“Why are you so jealous?”/“I hate how much I love you”

“You come to my room and wake me up at 4 am, to cuddle?”/“Is that my shirt?”

Brian May

“You come to my room and wake me up at 4 am, to cuddle?”

“If we get caught I’m blaming you”

“Cuddle me.”/“I’m too sober for this”

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”/“Just shut up and kiss me”

John Deacon

“We are not friends and you fucking know it”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”/“You are mine, I don’t share”

Rami!Freddie

“Stay with me”/“Just shut up and kiss me.”

Joe Mazzello

“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”/“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”/“I’m pregnant”

“You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”

Ben Hardy

“I’m pregnant”

“Walk out that door and we’re through”/“Choose me”

“What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”/“Im too sober for this”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”/“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”/“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”/“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”

Gwilym Lee

“Just leave me alone”/“I think you’re just afraid to be happy”

“You’re blushing”/“Just shut up and kiss me.”/“Stop biting that fucking lip!”

“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”

Rami Malek

“Just shut up and kiss me.”/“Is that my shirt?”

[linipik]

Ooo, whats Nyxs plans for Adam? How do the others feel about their Roman counterparts (and whats Lances reaction to Alluras bf)? Do the romans tell Allura about Lotor?

Voltron x PJO AUpart 1 | part 2 | part 3 | Part 4

As always, i am sorry for my writing, i am no writer. and sorry for taking so long in updating this AU.It is written the same way I narrate to myself but the general of the story is all there! (and I think this is the longest part to date)

RECAP TIME:

Shiro, Keith, Lance, Pidge and Hun are Greek demigods, Allura is a Roman Demigod. Their quest is about finding Matt and getting to Mount Othrys  since it is appearing because rough demigods *cough* Lotor guiding the Romans *cough* are siding with Kronos because the Gods have gone radio silent for WAY too long. Reah helped Allura to get to Camp Half Blood and meet the Greeks because she doesn’t want his husband to pit demigods against the gods anymore  but she made Allura promise to not reveal the the thing about camp Jupiter existing… They parted on their quest, had a couple of bonding moments *WINK*  and when they got to the Gods Junkyard they met some roman demigods who were scrapping for weapons and who attacked team voltron only to be saved by MATT (accompanied with other demigods  surviving away from any of the camps). 

Under the cut is how it all follows

FIRSTLY lets move to Tartarus:Adam FELL…into tartarus only to be found by Nyx on her flying chariot and Adam convinced her that he was more valuable alive. 

Nyx took Adam as errand boy in tartarus in exchange of the death mist thing and you know, not dying. Doing that he found the hermes shrine and he tried to contact his father or anyone without much success for MONTHS but at least there he got some food, so…yeah, it wasn’t all that bad. But of course the more he tried to contact his father , and after not getting an answer, it really seemed the gods couldn’t care less about their half human children and it can make anyone feel angry and unimportant.

Every single soul on tartarus has a thing against zeus and demigods and he always said like “ im just the messenger i dont care”, but since everyone is so bored they kept asking him about what got him there. But he had to be careful af bc telling dangerous ancient souls about how much he missed his bf a son of zeus (or ex boyfriend he is not sure) was SO not an option. BUT was by meeting these ppl that he met one of those kings that have escaped tartarus in the past and BOI did that gave him faith. It was possible. The thing is  being in tartarus is weakening for a demigod, repeating yourself enough times that you are NOT dead is not enough to believe.. you are not dead. He rly wants a way out and, after all, Adam is the son of Hermes, god of travellers and the only god to be able to travel from the land of the dead to….anywhere so he had to channel he had that in himself, he only needed a way to get OUT. One of the days he is in the Hermes shrine he gets a dream on how to get out there: One of the non guarded, full of monster, secret doors to the mortal world through the labyrinth.

That is when he sets on that journey and finds in the entrance to the labyrinth/ exit from tartarus. He also finds in that exact point a adamantine sword: perseus sword (not percy riptide. Perseus,) a harpe giving to the olden hero by hermes, (The harpē  was a type of sword or sickle; a sword with a sickle protrusion along one edge near the tip of the blade made of the indestructible metal adamantine , check it out it is pretty cool). The sword is cool and all but as always with demigods, when something good happens it only means something worse it’s on its way. And finding a weapon is bad news and everyone knows it.AND THAT is how Adam got out of tartarus. By then a year or so has passed and it is basically in the same moment hour 6 heroes start their own quest.

NOW..There are romans demigods with Matt, they recognise Allura  and don’t really trust her because they kind of think she is with Lotor, but Matt is like, NAH she is with MY friends , with MY sister and they trust she so, she is alright and while they are camping in some safe part of the junkyard Matt explains to Voltron team about how camp half blood is not the only camp, and that there are…more ways a demigod can survive away from camp, there are the amazons and the hunters and all kind of side places created by demigods for demigods where they can feel safe. 

They all then look at Allura who is relieved she can come clean to her quest mates, but then then she is confused by why Romans are attacking them, and some of the demigods who are with Matt say it is Lotor (who..it really is but Allura didn’t know is siding with kronos) and Allura is like “No no, it can’t be, Lotor is thoughtful and charming and a great leader who will always have his reasons and wants the best for Camp Jupiter and he is a real Hero “ half flustered and Lance sees that Allura actually...like-like this Lotor. Who seems to be La creme de la creme in the Roman camp while Lance is a rookie demigod, not really a fighter, on his first quest and he has been about to die most times than all of the others together in the past like 3 days.. 

And Lance just goes by…oh because he wanted Allura to like him because he was really liking her and the way she seems a full flagged fighter and leader. BUT still in a very Lance way he sides with Allura in front of everyone including the demigods who are not trusting her, “ of course she is not doing this to harm other kids, she has risked her life for us and she could enter camp halfblood so she is good and full of good intentions and Reah herself guided her to us so she is great”. AND Keith is like….oh because it seems Lance really likes Allura  and even if they were hitting it off with the Pegasi maybe it was all in his head and Lance would like more someone like Allura who is actually thoughtful and not him who doesn’t know where his head is half the time :’)So..how to get from Arizona to Mount Othrys without being spotted by rough demigods, the romans AND all kind of monsters ON TIME? The only answer they find is The Labyrinth that is equally dangerous but could keep them away from revealing their position and their plan to the Romans. The idea is that Allura gets to camp Jupiter and confront Lotor …without being detected so she cant be stopped by Lotor….right handsMatt navigated trough it enough to suggest it is possible to get everywhere from there, Shiro is having a mental breakdown because he doesn’t want to get inside it again but he is good at hiding his feelings and be a Good Leader ™ But Matt is gonna keep with the demigods trying to slow down the romans and monsters while mount ostrys just gets more powerful and to distract them from the real quest with team voltron.

…And Pidge. Pidge is like NOUP I promised Athena I will bring you back alive and I found you and I wont Let You Go Again, We are heading back to camp because that is the only logical solution. Nothing says WE have to keep in this quest and we can go back regroup in camp half blood and live to fight another day with a better plan.But Matt has changed a lot since he went out on his quest with Shiro and Adam and he has met these amazing demigods and  he tells her there are many things worth fighting for that thinking with her heart is equally important, and that they will meet again in camp Jupiter.In the Labyrinth!So yeah everyone kind of say their good byes and goes separate ways entering the labyrinth, technically they were set on following monsters (brilliant plan) because they are being kind of called by mount Othrys. As you know, the labyrinth is a fucking mess and without a real way to navigate it it is impossible to be completely sure what is going on, It changes and it seemed it was fuckin with them. After an incident with some flesh eating horses and trying to get away from rough demigods and monster trying to get them to the gladiator arena, a big attack from a Kampe it all goes to hell. 

They found themselves in a REALLY  small passage where SHiro is having a problem with his mechanical arm and hunk is trying to see what made it high-wire so much ,Lance started to get on his own, because he is brave and he could get them out of there and maybe he just have to knock on that weird rock door with a strange painting. That is when the painting in the wall started to look more than real and the Kampe spotted Lance first of course, and while he froze at the giant horrible monster who was destroying the walls and the floor and everything in the small passage materialising in front of him, Allura saved his sorry ass (again) controlling the mist as well as she could, but since she has been more worried about the entire Lotor siding with Kronos thing, it is not…as effective as it should. Pidge is trying to REALLY work up  an exit, and thinking quick she tells allura to distract the Kampe with copies of them while they escape from the roof. BUT the Kampe is not fooled and When Allura and Pidge  are the closest to the improve exit on the roof, Shiro and Hunk are about to get decked, Lance in one of his hero complex things gets the full attention of the monster again and Keith goes by OH No. Not. Again. and gets Lance out of the way. Lance is getting really furious with Keith bc it is the zillion time Keith takes him out of the way  of a fight, as if he was not able to do things himself. The beast is attacking Keith now, frustrated that his precious prey got away and makes the floor crumble with Shiro and Hunk sliding further down, Allura Pidge and Lance got into the way of the roof and keith is channelling all that energy, the one that made him get to shiro back in his first quest, and he is able to step on the rock doorway disappearing from the monster. 

Shiro and Hunk end up together in one of the most ancient parts of the labyrinth, dark, smelling like wet earth and little breathing space….,and poor shiro who was trying so hard to keep calm is 5 minutes into losing it completely , he, a son of zeus is underground, feels trapped and thinking they can end up in the gladiator arena again is driving him a bit too insane. Hunk is seeing this and does what he does best, try to get how the current problem works, bu this time is not some piece of metal but it is Shiro’s entire existence. ANd for all that is worth, Hunk is really good at coming trough for others in pinch moments.

Lance Pidge and Allura end up together navigating the most tedious part of the labyrinth. dumb monsters marching to the same place  and they cant do anything but follow them with the help of allura’s mist to disguise them and praying Lance natural monster magnetism doesn’t get them killed…and the only door they find ends up in the middle of a GIANT field, so no help. It is tedious af and it just gets MORE tedious by their current situation: Allura is  trying to get the mist to work for her but she is having a hard time concentrating after learning her family, the romans and…Lotor are behind Kronos getting stronger. 

Lance is  trying his best on keeping not only alive but showing he has everything to be a hero, but honestly he is debuting everything he knew about himself, He has been about to drown, he froze in front of a monster, he never knows what is going on. He has no quest experience like shiro and keith, he is not good at solving puzzles like Pidge or repairing stuff like Hunk, not to mention he had no idea about the romans or any of the problems Allura is having but he still tries hard to be the charming demigod who is no afraid of anything and is there to support her every move. Even tho he knows…it has been Keith the whole time who has been taking him away of fights the entire time, even fixing his mess of waking the Kampe, probably for the best because maybe…just maybe…Aphrodite kids where not mean to be on quests after all.)

Pidge, is just looking at the horizon like she is in the office. Matt might be her beloved brother, but seeing how they all are thinking with their hearts and that is making them terrible for this quest is another level. And Lance,…lance is ranting to her how he could totally go against Kampe if Keith did not interfere again and again. BUT Pidge knows that Keitth has a problem with Lance being in danger and it is not because Lance is not capable exactly and more with Keith crushing hard on Lance, So she yeah, she is trying to side with Keith here out of solidarity and convince Lance that Keith is not trying to sabotage him or any of those things. That maybe Lance could learn from keith and spend more time with him maybe (wingman pidge ftw)

Keith ended up alone in the labyrinth and after being able to use again his  doorway powers he finds himself in a room with two doors and a doorman in the middle of them. The two faced doorman is Janus himself ask him which is the door he is gonna go, which decision is the correct one since he will have to make The Choice of His Life in the future….and inpatient Keith start asking Janus ALL the questions at once starting by “what was that?”, “what does his coin means?”,”what was his mother relationship with Janus?”, “that he knows about the romans and that it is unfair he didn’t knew before” and blablabla. And janus is like,one of this doors give you all answers, the other takes him to certain death and Keith goes by coin flipping decision time in hopes he could trick Janus into revealing the correct one since he figure out Janus is just trying to fuck with his head. And surprise! the moment he flipped the coin it transformed into an imperial gold gladius and keith basically surprises janus, Keith goes to stab him and janus just disappears through one door and keith in a moment of good judgement goes to the other because Janus of course went trough the door that would kill Keith. SO…he gets to the door with the answers BIG GASPSO

Back to Hunk and Shiro are in one of the ancient marts of the maze and they start walking thanks to Hunk who was prepared to go into a really dark place and has scraps from Hephaestus Junkyard. And in one of those rm=emote parts of the Maze, they start hearing talking, HUMANS talking, to be precise demigods and it means it is the same kind of demigods that are working with monsters and trying to get Kronos back and Shiro is like protector mode ACTIVATE and is ready to fight them as soon as the turn one corner but the  demigods sound like they are..discussing between them SO they end up getting as close as they want to hear what they are talking about and SHiro just stops dead on his trail as he recognises one of the demigods….it is Adam.

and Shiro NOW stops breathing. So hunk resolves that the best approach is NO fighting so he kind of goes in making himself appear he is on their side  playing innocent and that some leader needs them BUT Adam recognises him from camp and Adam gets Hunk is Lying. He is about to knock Hunk out and… shiro interferes. So you know this is the first time they see each other after their fight back before Shiro was captured and made a champion, before Adam went to tartarus and Back. (their fight was about how shiro is always playing the hero and getting himself and everyone around him into dangerous shit and how Adam was playing it safe and never wanting to risk more than he should. BOth were correct) Adam: I thought you were dead Shiro: I thought YOU were deadAnd it ends up being the Most Awkward Reunion in the world. like Hunk thought they were gonna be fireworks and tears and a kiss but it  is nothing like that. They fall directly into quest mode because talking about their feelings is recognising their previous fight and that they separated.Adam stares at shiro new scar/arm/hair all the time and Shiro stares at adam new sword/dark circles under his eyes and he is always On Edge. Both look tired and terrible. .Hunk is like, OKAY good the update but we should be thinking on getting to the others!! and Adam tells them that the baddies have a way to navigate the Labyrinth accurately : clear eyed mortals who are in danger and shiro is all like, we HAVE TO go for them. And it is actually the only plan they have. Anyway, Adam has been with the rogue demigods for some time now and knows a weird lot about their plan, he is totally aware that those are demigods tired of being the pawns of the gods and after his field trip to tartarus he honestly sees why.  of course shiro and hunk tell him , about the Romans and about mt othrys  and how Kronos is gaining power from the rogue demigods and more monsters and titans and everything is marching destroying any minor deity or nature spirit who is on the God’s side and how even then…the god’s have been silent. surprising no one.

Allura Lance and Pige arrive to the place the monster are marching to inside the labyrinth: It is an Arena and they recognise it as Shiro’s gladiator arena and MMMM they are starting to also see rogue demigods and minor deities and things are starting to get dangerous but they can’t turn back or they get more attention than they want so they go inside the arena where everyone is  reuniting for something and trusting the mist to do its job BUT before getting in they get spotted by a girl in a cell: She tells them how weird is to see a purple shirt (Allura) with two orange shirts (Lance and Pidge) and even more that they are disguising themselves. The girl looks like she has been in the cell for LONG time: Surprise it is Shay, (a clear eyed mortal) but they couldn’t open it at all so they moving inside the arena for what seems a BIG meeting promising her they are coming back for her.

MEANWHILE, Keith finds himself in the door with the answers. He is now in a warehouse in the middle of a meeting. Of several romans. Who are now looking at him like he just insulted them and their mothers. And They are all “noooo this cant be that door was enchanted” and keith is all “YOU ARE MY ANSWER? WHO THE F ARE YOU ALL? WHERE IS JANUS?” They are seeing a young demigods with a CHB shirt  wielding an imperial gold clearly roman sword ready to fight. Not Normal at all. And a clearly old guy with a scar in one eye and the BOSS  is all “kid, you are a roman” . Things start computing in his head the coin, the weird way he was able to find SHiro, his past encounter with Janus… but keith goes “I am a son of Ares” From the group of romans a woman calls his name: “…Keith?” and… that is when Krolia appears.

Reunion Time! Krolia is a Janus Legacy and went to Camp Jupiter back in the day, this group is an Olden Elite Roman Secret Group part of the old Preatorian Guard, who never ceased to exist and that has been moving parallel to Camp Jupiter for centuries. They are the Speculatores Augusti, dedicated mostly to avoid the secret of the existence of the romans demigods to go out there  and keeping the roman problems…roman, it is like a legend inside camp jupiter but they still exist in the shadows. and right now they are trying to calm this nonsense. They Know about Lotor, and they know that the plan is to turn demigods away from the gods and that it would revive Kronos.

Some Backstory:

Krolia is not a demigod directly, she is a Legacy but an incredible good fighter and then she got with Ares. Krolia met Texas after being pregnant with Keith. (insert here an incident Texas going all, wow pregnant lady you alright?) And wao, they hit it off really, enough to Krolia consider to have a mortal normal life…normal as it could be. And Keith was born and they were a family for little time but then rumors started about Kronos awakening slowly  and that Keith would be in the middle of the THAT war and that the Romans where starting to not hear from the gods and suddenly it all started to be more than rumors so she decided to leave them and try to stop whatever was happening from inside. And she left them with  a janus coin so he could know something about his roots and , making texas promise he wouldn’t let keith go to any of the camps and Texas was like OKAY but he died when Keith was 10 or something and Keith ended up in camp Half blood anyway…. And she didn’t know until this moment when her son was in front of her and now she knows texas is dead and everything is a little bit too sad.

Keith tells them what he knows from his quest, about shiro about the arena about allura about the rogue demigods and about the other good demigods working with Matt he is basically full of good info and it gave them the ultimate details to do finish their STRIKE the  that has to be ASAP before that whole army marches to mt Othrys  and puts in danger the entire world. And Keith is like….but for Kronos to gain all his power he will need more time…that is what Matt said. And they explain that the one danger in Mount Ostrys is no other than Atlas himself and if someone takes the sky from him The General of Kronos would be Free and that would mean The End. 

And that is how the entire secret roman group Keith is now part of goes to the place where the big army is reuniting: The Arena (btw this is the group that has Ariadne’s String and that’s how they can use the Labyrinth )

THEN

We have the three groups all reuniting in the same place.Adam Hunk and Shiro want to rescue the innocent mortals Allura Lance and Pidge are there to know what the in the hades is going onKeith is there with the Speculatores to stop the armyThe monsters are all ready to  part and in the podium there are Titans are guiding the army and some demigods allura recognises as ex- roman campers, and they say the found a way to navigate the labyrinth and that they are going to san francisco immediately to liberate their general and to meet with the Romans who are also tired of the god’s nonsense, between the horrible noises monsters did in agreement. Allura is seeing how this only could be possible with the help of someone INSIDE camp Jupiter but she doesnt want it to be Lotor. and asks herself why Reah didn’t say anything when she send Allura to CHB. Lance and Pidge see that the mist is really wearing off and that Allura is tired to the bone so they start to head to the exit but it is cramped with monsters, and a random demigod spots Lance and they are in REAL problems now that the baddies are have seen him, but not…them SO…..Lance does the sensible thing and tells Pidge that it is important to get Allura to Camp Jupiter and he directs the attention to himself. 

 Adam Shiro and Hunk are using a moment when all the baddies are distracted with something to open the cells of the mortals (thanks lock picking  Adam abilities via hermes) and they get to Shay, she tells them that Allura Lance and Pidge are there..NOw the monsters being distracted and furious make sense and it is horrifying . SHiro jumps to go to look for them despise Adam telling him to wait that he feels something is Not Right and he is getting really frustrated with shiro because of his hero complex and there is when HUnk tells Adam that probably is because Shiro  has more of a survivors complex since the moment he arrived to camp half blood without them, that probably even when he was in the arena he felt more lucky than matt and  him since he was alive. Adam is like, damn him, and HUnk is like MAYHAPS if you too talked you could get somewhere YOU KNOW, being under heavy circumstances can really make anyone  have a crooked perspective and that it is what always happens with old machines that often people dont know it but they work like that too. and you just have to be kind and  work with that new perspective to be able to see the present and what is happening and not what it is supposed to be happening. 

Shiro finds Pidge and Allura first and send them to where adam and hunk are close to the cells, and Pidge tells him that Lance did probably the most stupid thing ever  but there is a WALL of monsters and is being really difficult to get to where Lance is and curses his entire existence for being underground and not having the space for flying or lightening or nothing and he feels USELESS AF

Keith is with his new roman secret organisation intending to work again from the shadows, after hearing the plan or the army heading to mt othrys the plan to take as many monsters down right there right then is the best. They plan to blow the  arena and send the majority of monsters direct to tartarus or some pit deep down. But then, there is the shift in the monsters attention and when Keith and others go to investigate from one of the upper levels of the tribune before, you know, blowing the whole thing up. From there…He sees is mother fucking Lance and his heart stops or beats faster…Lance is alone  surrounded by so many monsters that it is ridiculous and holding a number lance is in “who wants to go against ME first uh? maybe this is the lucky day any of you get to kill a beautiful son of Aphrodite OR maybe I could kill you?? who knows!!”and “That telekhine thinks he is better than all the empousai look at him! he is gonna strike first! are the empousai so weak they are gonna let him win? really?”and pinning the  monsters against each other and it is ridiculous and charming  but over all dangerous because it is obvious to Keith Lance could not go if 3 or more of the monster decided to attack together. So he tells the other speculators to wait 5 minutes so he can save Lance, they say 1 or they might miss the opportunity to blow the most important titans.  So that is the best he can get. Keith starts going down to the arena where Lance is, resolved to his bones to WIN and pulverise anything that dares harm his… friend

Lance has been streaking of with his bow any monster who is falling for his taunt and pinning some of them against each other but arrows are limited and he lost his sword back with the Kampe. Monsters seem to be picking up that too because the circle is getting tighter and there is no way out but if he is going down he is going down fighting. Keith gets to him 

-queue to some serious Ares Blessing Moment-

 Lance shoots his last  two arrows and starts hitting monsters with his bow …and then Keith is in front of him , red glow around him and practically…invincible. Lance is half jealous, but also half in awe. Keith is more than a natural wielding not one but two swords (his spatha and a new golden gladius) (was that even possible??) The monsters who were all focused in Lance didn’t see Keith coming at them Keith passed him his spatha in the middle of the fight and it was even better than when they were sparring at camp. They didn’t need words to know what to do and they were holding it well against the monsters and it felt that, at that rhythm two demigods did had an opportunity to come out alive. A second later shiro’s metal arm appeared harming  a monster, and Keith just yells at shiro “The floor!” and takes lance, holds on to shiro and BAM-

There is no more floor! the explosion takes half of the Arena , many monsters start falling and shiro is concentrating the entire power he is channelling from the very deep of his gut into not letting these two demigods and himself fall with the rest of the confused monsters. The explosion gave him enough wind to fly a bit and it is the best he has felt since entering the damned labyrinth. And soon gets them to their even larger group.

- NOW they are all reunited!

They are all happy to be reunited again, but it is Big Awkward tm. Lance was SO close of dying so many times it stopped making sense, Keith  is a roman Legacy,Adam is alive but spend a weird amount of time on tartarus and then with the baddies and that mess up any demigod,  shiro and him have a silent treatment going (weighted by all  the things they want to say to to each other that have been accumulating for they time apart) Allura is a bit heartbroken and confused because everything she knows is going down, Pidge literally let Lance distract the monsters because it was the only logical thing to do but he is also her friend and it was…not a good decision and she knows it. And Hunk, the Hephaestus child is trying his hardest in keeping them going somewhere. while taking the rescued mortals out of the labyrinth.So they head to the next exit they find to regroup and think what they are going to do.

Allura met the boss speculators augusti, Kolivan , and she is shocked something so secret has been running alongside her camp for so long…but she is relieved not all romans are on the bad side and gives her hope that camp jupiter has survived so many things They tell her to not open suspicion to lotor when they get to san francisco…so they have more of an element of surprise to defeat him.The Roman BoM is down to closing any doors from inside the labyrinth, rescue any other mortal that could be helping the army and Get to camp mt othrys, after all they have ariadne;s string to navigate that hellhole.

Lance is decided to follow Pidge advice and reallt talk to Keith, after all they were working well together, it has been a life or death situation but somehow it felt just right , being with keith, fighting side by side, it felt like they could do anything.

“Hey man…Thanks for saving m- “and keith interrupts him angry and welp, that is so not what lance was expecting “are you insane? WHAT? what the fuck where you thinking, are you a martyr? do you have a death wish? if you ever get in some stupid situation like that again I….” and keith shuts up but Lance follows anyway, “you what? UH KEITH? you WHAT!? “Keith: “just get out of the way and let the others do their job” and thats is the last drop for lance,”am i in the way? YOU are on mine. you are always on my way. I know you think i cant do this , you think so low of me that i cant survive on my own, we all know you are so good , a Natural, well, you are not the only capable hero-” Keith :”ï dont care about being a stupid hero! “ Lance: “WELL, I DO” lance is about to cry and is when  keith knows he cant keep being around lance, he doesn’t want him in danger and Lance will only keep heading first to complete that damned quest. Keith  knows lance is good he is what heroes are made of and honesty that scares him. Heroes don’t have happy endings, right?.  Lance just stands up and goes. It all was a mistake, going to Keith was a mistake and he was a fool for believe he and keith were even playing on the same field because every time it seems they have something going it ends up even worse.

and keith is not even surprised it all ended up badly he knows the demigod way and it is that for every good thing that happens, something worse is coming: adam is alive - he seems like he’s seen death, he found the truth about himself - the romans are this close on bringing Kronos back, he gets close to lance fighting side by side - apparently lance hates him, SO…ketith decides to go with his mom , “after all adma is here, you are six now for the quest , and…we will find each other again at mt othrys or camp jupiter”  he tells them 

And the guy just…LEAVES. everyone is a like “don’t be a stranger, see yah soon,  BYEEEE” well, Keith found his family his entire legacy thing so…they  show all the support they can . BUt Lance, he cant believe Keith is quitting! now that is betrayal even so…he was the one who tell Keith to leave(him alone).

Keith disappears through the labyrinth with his mom and the Speculatores and the rest of the team is left to get to camp Jupiter and try to stop Lotor  before Kronos Army gets to Mount Othrys and free the titan Atlas.

__

BONUS DOODLE because you made till the end!

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR READING! you all deserve another golden star!!

Hope you are enjoying this story, also I think there is only one update left!!

and if you have ANY question, i am Happy to solve anything

and consider donating to my KO-FI, maybe???

Also, another pull through for @monthlyklance in their Klance AU Month

Disclaimer: 

SO YOU KNOW, the speculatores Augusti  existed and were distinguished by special secret boots, all is super secret and i thought it fitted perfectly to the Blade of Marmora.

I use Kronos even when referring to Romans because changing names too much confuses me :T