#anyway who the fuck kidnaps a child to force them to be their own child's friend. serial killer behaviour. vampire behaviour.

[tyrannuspitch]

okay so the thing that's making me throw up blood from my old notes

i have long maintained that loki is subtly but insidiously treated like a servant (or slave) by his family. but of course that prompts the question: what kind of servant is he? he's clearly not a domestic servant. he is a warrior, but his role as a warrior seems, at least officially, on par with his peers. and he hasn't come into his role as puppet king yet. until canon begins... his role, his service, his usefulness, seems to be defined by companionship to thor. by love.

in TDW, loki watches prisoners being brought into the dungeon and says, sarcastically, "odin continues to bring me new friends. how thoughtful."

and on one level, loki is trying to draw attention to his terrible conditions, including near-total isolation. but he's also equating himself to the other prisoners. and... he refers to friends. to a father giving his child prisoners as a gift. that's not just sarcasm. that is, in a way, what loki is to thor.

and yes. i know. i know exactly how the prisoner-companion-gift thing sounds. to be clear, i don't think there's any actual sign of thor and loki's relationship not being platonic. there is sometimes rape imagery around loki, sometimes involving members of his family, but i think what it's really meant to convey is abuse/humiliation/violation plus gendered power dynamics. basically everything but the sex itself.

but. i would argue it is no less fucked up for being platonic. perhaps, in a way, even more so. because if this were sexual abuse, loki could, potentially, draw a distinction between the physical and the emotional, and decide that it was only physical.

but there IS no physical side. there is ONLY the emotional, and loki is being manipulated and conditioned so his emotions are what his captors want them to be. he's not being forced to partake in an intimate physical act symbolic of love, he's just outright being forced to love. no symbolism, no proxy, no dissociation, no escape.

it's all-encompassing and yet far subtler for it. it's a profound and insidious form of abuse with almost nothing concrete he can point to and say: here is what they did to me.

loki is a servant who isn't allowed to act like a servant. no professional distance, nothing to shield his heart. and he is a servant who still has to fear his lord, but cannot show it too openly. because instead he has to show love. thor's imperiousness is more immediately visible than loki's deference. loki's lowliness is quiet and normalised. he fades into the background. gaslit and silenced. they own his heart!!!

and on top of that, this is a household where openly displaying love is a form of weakness and subservience too. loki is the only one who can actually bring himself to say the word love. his parents and his brother do not. they say: you are my son. you are my brother. you are mine. and they expect it to be an equal comfort.

what happens to a family when one of the children is the parents' prisoner of war? what happens to a prisoner who is raised to see their captors as their family? how can you love them - and how could you not? how can you ever learn to see love as anything but a horrifying violation on the most fundamental level? and how could you not long for it, even so?

[distinguisheddwarffriend]

Inspired by that post about Thranduil being all defensive/protective over Gimli in Valinor:

We all know the head canon of Thorin being all "no nephew of mine even associates with an elf" BUT

Just imagine, in a world where all three Durins survived, and Tauriel saved Kili (again), and some other elf healed his and Fìli's wounds last minute.

Thorin saw both his nephews almost die before him, has LIVED through how the gold sickness twists the mind and perception of things, and after coming to terms with Bilbo's theft of the Arkenstone, he for a while questions EVERYTHING.

And yes, he totally has a dramatic phase of self pity, holing up in his rooms, drinking Elvish wine (cus thats all there is atm) and smoking Gandalf's pipeweed, and mourning how "everything i knew is a LIE" and "if elves can make such amazing wine there HAS to be some good in them" and "I almost got my boys killed I am such a failure boooohoooo", and after Bilbo kicks his ass out if depression (and a STRONG worded letter from his sister) he is like "okay FUCK y'all I have TRAUMA TM and will do WHATEVER I WANT!!"

So when Kili all shyly comes forward one day asking if Tauriel can please stay with them in the mountain because she's banished from the Woodland Realm he's all "OF COURSE she can stay, you do you my precious boy, if Thranduil is stupid enough to let such a great warrior go we'll stick it to him"

and BAM, Tauriel joins Dwalin in leading Erebor's guard, and Dwalin is torn between "excuse ME u want me to share my job with a pointy eared maiden?" And "holy hell that lass has fire can't show how impressed I am".

And Tauriel Takes No Shit even from her own boyfriend, so Kìli is forced to take his new responsibilities seriously because "I did NOT lose my home to live with a CHILD, Kili", and Fili gets dragged into the whole thing without really understanding what happened, but hey, his lil brother is happy so who cares really.

And whenever someone at council (like Dain) complains about an Elf in the mountain, Thorin goes absolutely FERAL like "are you saying I don't know what's best for this mountain I just won from A DRAGON?! are you suggesting that my perfect baby nephew has bad taste? Huh? Exactly, didn't think so!!!!" And is a protective Papa bear "listen Tauriel if someone gives you shit you SHOOT them. No, not killing them, but, you know, just maim them a little to make a point. Trust me I'm the king."

And once Kili and Tauriel have their first child Thorin constantly kidnaps the kid and has them in the forge before they can even talk because "need to keep up that good old dwarven influence".

Anyway I'll go cry myself to sleep now.

[fxckn-sxck-fr]

Hii!! Just a thought, would any of the yanderes baby trap a particularly difficult reader?

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄����𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐂 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘-𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆…

!!! GN reader, children (lmao), manipulation, coercion into parenting, delusions, slight threats, impregnation mention (it’s not the reader, though), obligatory Tim Drake warning, mentions of possible harm to children.

I’m assuming you just mean the comic book yanderes. Let’s see!

I kept the actual baby-acquisition vague. Could be one or both of y’all’s biological kid, could be adopted, could be kidnapped. Who knows! I also gave them ratings on how they would be as a father, cuz why not.

Bruce Wayne: Yes. Absolutely. This is Bruce we’re talking about. You know, the guy who’s never beating the empty-nester allegations? As long as you’re with him, you’re bound to end up with a kid one way or another. Whether he set out to baby trap you or ended up with a child by chance, he is for sure going to hold it over your head. This kid is going to have both of their parents in their life, biological or not. It’s like a new kid spawns in the manor every time you get even a little bit rebellious. (7/10 father; still has his issues, but he’s learned from his past mistakes.)

Bucky Barnes: Okay, I don’t think he’d initially see himself as a family man. Just never crossed his mind, given his life as the Winter Solider. If he did end up with a kid, it would definitely be by accident. But when that happens, he’ll start to give it a little more thought. The idea of a family… it sounds so domestic; so normal. Uh-oh. Instant baby fever. Now he wants even more kids, and he’ll acquire them by any means necessary. Doesn’t manipulate you with any children, but you may feel obligated to stick around; the Winter Soldier does NOT seem like the type to be good at parenting. (5/10 father; doesn’t know what he’s doing, but he’s at least enthusiastic.)

Clark Kent: This man wants the classic nuclear family life. While he wouldn’t set out to baby-trap you, it will inadvertently happen with his desire for children. He wants to be tackled by at least 3 kids every time he comes home! And if he’s already had Jon, I can see him making it his mission to find the perfect spouse; that’s how he finds you!! Oh, you’re not good with kids? Doesn’t matter. This man is delusional as fuck. It’s not like he sees you for who you are, anyway. Keep in mind that he’s projecting an idealized version of a spouse onto you. (10/10 father; amazing with kids and is willing to pull your weight when you’re being difficult.)

Dick Grayson: If it comes down to it, he will. Any form of manipulation is fair game, and hey… he’s always dreamed of starting a family of his own one day. Even if you’re not big on kids, he’s willing to play the long game to try and get you to change your mind. And if you never do? Welp. That’s too bad. You’re still gonna end up with a child somehow (Dick’s got plenty of ways to make sure of that). When he finally gets what he wants, he’s for sure using the “think of our kid(s)” card any chance he gets. (9/10 father; he’s a family man at heart, and everyone around him thinks it was only a matter of time.)

Hal Jordan: A bit iffy on starting a family. He doesn’t hate kids, he just isn’t sure if he’s ready. However, as soon as he realizes a child in your life could make you more compliant, he quickly starts to sing a different tune. Now he’s all for having kids!! He’d be obsessed with the power it gives, every interaction between you two having that subtle warning of, “try and escape me now.” Papa-Bear Hal is not a force to be reckoned with. You may find yourself not liking the consequences of trying to break up this happy little family. (8/10 father; there’s a bit of a learning curve for him, but he’ll eventually fall into the groove of it.)

Jaime Reyes: Nope. The thought of having kids makes him sick to his stomach. He knows there’s something wrong with him… god only knows what would happen to his kids. The what if’s would drive him insane, easily trumping the possible gains of baby-trapping you. Sure, it might be a bit tempting — and he’ll admit, a small part of him wishes he could one day be a father — but not only would he feel extremely guilty, he also knows that it’s a bad fucking idea. Hopefully, he can continue to ignore Khaji Da’s own thoughts on the matter. It doesn’t matter how important “continuing the Reyes legacy” is, he’s not taking that risk. (6/10 father; despite his fits of spiraling paranoia, he needs to give himself a little more credit).

Peter Parker: Honestly, it’s a toss up. He’s got his concerns with being a father, but thinking about it makes him all giddy inside. I think this would be another case of accidental baby-trapping. He didn’t set out to do it, but hey… if it works, it works. Any “but what about our kid(s)” that he throws at you is by no means intentional manipulation; he’s just genuinely worried what would happen if you left. Then again, I can also see him slightly doing it. As soon as he realizes it works, he’ll keep it in mind. A thing he’ll tuck away for later and only use when absolutely needed. (9/10 father; loves his kid(s) and would do anything for them).

Remy LeBeau: Yeah, probably. As long as he’s in a position where he can have a kid or two, he’ll go for it. Remy secretly longs for a family (though he’ll never admit it), and if starting one means earning your compliance? Well, shit… that’s just killing two birds with one stone! But again, this depends on if he’s in a position where kids are viable. Should he still have some unfinished business to attend to, he’s not gonna be dumb enough to have kids. Growing up in the Thieves Guild taught him a thing or two about why that’s a bad idea. Otherwise, you are not immune to a sudden baby-acquisition by yours truly. (7/10 father; he gives chill baby daddy vibes who tries his best to be there for his kids.)

Scott Summers: Oh, yeah. It’s guaranteed to happen. This man is committed to having a semi-normal life, no matter how unrealistic that may seem. He wants a family. He wants you to be obedient. He wants a sense of normalcy, goddamnit. Y’all are having a kid whether you want one or not. And he leans heavily towards having a biological kid. If you don’t have the means to get pregnant — or fight tooth and nail against the idea — he’s 100% impregnating someone else and stealing their baby. Yes, it’s a crazy idea. Yes, he’s willing to go that far. Don’t test him. He’ll yell and shout at you about how you need to be there for this fucking kid, even if it’s not yours. It’s in your best interest if you comply. (6/10 father; he’s chronically fighting against the absent father allegations and MIGHT be winning… results are still pending.)

Steve Roger: Poor guy wants to settle down so bad. Yes, he’d baby-trap you, but I can see him feeling guilty for it. He knows it’s wrong, and it would especially weigh down on him if you didn’t even want kids in the first place. But he wants a family so bad. He can’t help it!! And as big of a piece of shit he may feel afterwards, he’ll do what’s necessary to make you behave. You need to be here for your kids! If a little bit of manipulation makes you stay, then so be it. He’s surprisingly good at guilt-tripping, making a good case with the image he has to uphold as Captain America. What would people think if they learned he was a single father? What assumptions would they make about you if you left him? Society might not be all that kind to you. It’s best to just stay. (8/10 father; can get a little busy, but he’s definitely there when it matters the most.)

Tim Drake: Not a fan of kids. There might be a chance of him coming up with a baby-trapping scheme during one of his weird fits, but let’s hope he snaps out of it before it’s too late. Do NOT let bro be a father. On the off-chance that he does acquire a kid… pray. And I mean PRAY. His version of baby-trapping ranges from “but this kid needs you” to “I will fucking kill this kid if you leave.” A situation like this means you have to familiarize yourself with Tim’s mood swings. Be compliant at first, then when he starts to second-guess himself, try to gently coax him into giving this child a better home. Hopefully, that poor kid will survive everything unscathed. Tim wouldn’t know what to do with himself if something bad happened to them. (0/10 father; he’d actually do an alright job when he’s mentally stable, but I think everyone — including Tim himself — would agree that he’d do more harm than good raising a kid.)

Wally West: Yup. No hesitation. As soon as the thought crosses his mind, he will get to scheming immediately. His goal would be to make it seem like a natural evolution, even if you’re not keen on the idea of kids. Wally is such a master at masking his manipulation, to the point where it’s unclear if he’s actually baby-trapping you or not, and by the time you’ve realize it… welp… too late. Arguing with him is absolutely frustrating, cuz Wally West does not argue; he smooth talks until makes you feel like an idiot. Wanna know how cruel he is? Those kids will grow up to be accomplices in his manipulation, whether they know it or not. No one can put a stop to his fuckery. (9/10 parent; turns out to be a phenomenal father, I just have to take a point off simply because raising your kids to be just as manipulative as him probably isn’t good.)

[daddymortfest]

Daddymort MasterList 2024

Here are the submissions that made it for the Daddymort fest this year! I hope everyone had a great time and I hope that you have a great time reading!

It Was Only a Matter of Time by missriddlepotterinc

Harry comforts Animagus Voldemort after he dissociates after a difficult meeting

Prompt: Harry notices LV has been beyond stressed with being the new leader of the Wizarding World and stopping Dumbledore and his band of misfits. Well Harry can't have his sweet and loving daddy gaining more face wrinkles from stress, LV does not even have any more hair to lose! Harry knows exactly what to do!!

don't blame the stork by TheOnceandFutureQueenofTarts

Harry feels a little adrift after the war, so Magic decides he needs a baby, Magical Britain decides he needs to be Minister, and Voldemort decides he needs some company.

Daddymort Fest 2024 submission! Prompt: "Minister for Magic Harry has his hands full with raising his son, Tom, while also looking for a potential partner as a good influence on Tom. He needs someone Tom could look up to and respect, not like the failed relationships that Tom has terrorized out the door. Well maybe they've both finally met their matches when time-traveler Voldemort comes into the picture."

Stand my ground by Ciacconne

Prompt: Tom is tired that his Harry keeps treating him like a child, especially when he has been towering over Father for years now. His gentle and sweet adopted father, who he loves to show off his abilities and impress. His father who needs to stop trying to pair him up with potential life partners!! Tom is 18 now, and he is beyond ready for Harry to take his feelings and intentions seriously!

Tom was upset. Harry hadn’t given up on him and continued to pair him up with potential partners. This went on for a year and as Tom turned eighteen, he realized that he needed to stand his ground against his father and make it known to him that he wouldn’t tolerate these dates anymore. He would make sure that Harry understood his feelings and his intentions and he wasn’t going to back down.

Secrets of a Wixen Call Boy by milkandmoon

Echoing in the darkest recess of his mind, Harry heard Hermione lecture on his father complex. How, having never known his own father, he tended to fixate on older men . . . subsequently resulting in some pretty questionable romantic partners.

Really, Harry couldn’t think of a good reason not to fuck or be fucked by them.

-

Harry Potter meets Secret Diary of a London Call Girl 💋

The Purpose of the Human Heart by evaleon70 for Acnara

Prompt fill for the Daddymort fest: Something goes wrong during the resurrection. Turns out that by using Harry's blood in his ritual, Lord Voldemort becomes part of the Potter line. And as the oldest Potter alive with Harry only being 14/15, that means The Dark Lord is now... Harry Potter's closest living magical relative and in the eyes of the Ministry, his legal guardian. He now has to attend Harry's Disciplinary Hearing before the Wizengamot for performing the Patronus Charm in front of his muggle cousin.

In Body and Blood by bunnieblair

When Voldemort tried to kill Harry Potter, Lily's blood magic shield absorbed his spell. Panicked and seeing no other option, he kidnapped baby Harry, now a Horcrux (and shamelessly not dead). Unwilling to admit that he'd made a mistake, he claimed Harry as his heir, and forced his bewildered Death Eaters to raise him.

Over the years, their bond continued to grow, becoming increasingly twisted and codependent. Sharing a soul will do that to you, he supposed. It’s only natural, then, that as Harry grew up and became increasingly alluring, Voldemort would seek to deepen their bond. It’s not like they’re actually related anyway, right?

(Or: Harry attempts to seduce Daddymort with the help of his Aunty Bella. Simultaneously, Voldemort seeks the aid of two very confused Malfoy’s to advise his own seduction attempts.)

Omnia Mea by kentheslytherin

Green had always been his favorite color. Before, it had been the color of the little garden snakes that crawled out of the bushes to keep him company. Now—oh, now it was the color of his son’s eyes. His precious little boy.

“My, what a difference a single night can make,” Voldemort cooed to the sleeping child in his arms as he entered the dilapidated remains of Riddle Manor.

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat=Please read the tags thoroughly. What’s stated is what you’ll get, so don’t be surprised.

But just Ourselves - and Immortality by evaleon70

By blood, by magic, by soul, Harry Potter had been deemed Lord Voldemort's son. Why did that please him so? Harry hasn't decided how he will handle this new twist in fate, but he will not be anyone's pet. If he needed to play the part of the Heir for now, then so be it.

Breathe me by Ciacconne

Prompt: As a single parent, Tom did not have an easy life. Thankfully, Harry, his son, is there to provide support. As they live their hard lives where Half bloods are discriminated against, they’ve come to rely on each other for support.

Perhaps, Harry didn’t grow up to be the child Tom wanted. He wasn’t as dedicated to studies as Tom would have liked, but he could definitely learn what he needed to learn when he put his mind to it. He also wasn’t always obedient and often tested Tom’s patience when Harry refused to do his chores or his studies and preferred to read his storybooks and play with his snake. But Harry was already growing up to be such a happy, beautiful child. Despite not wanting to be attached to anyone, Tom found himself growing to love him.

But would Harry’s own love for his father be enough to put Tom in the right path? Or would Tom become the next Dark Lord?

Harry's Ghost by chaos_bear

Harry had a ghost.

He'd had a ghost ever since he could remember. It watched over him while he slept, whispered stories in his ear about magic and castles, and promised him that one day they could be a family.

no way back by zadezy

Forty years in the past and with no plan to get back to his timeline, Harry decides to take the night off and get lost in alcohol and music. Who would have thought that decision was going to change his life like no other before.

--

Or Harry having a crisis about the person he lost his viriginity to.

My Child, My Saviour by SquibNation10

On that fateful Halloween night, Voldemort set out to vanquish his prophecised nemesis once and for all. Casting the Killing curse, he hadn't anticipated the consequences. Driven by desperation, the Dark Lord resorted to kidnapping baby Harry Potter.

The Dark Lord Planned My Wedding by SquibNation10

Lord Voldemort raised Harry and will only give him the best because only he can make him happy.

Or

Voldemort is a Dadzilla at a Drarry wedding.

Your Heart Revealed by SquibNation10

During pregnancy, the Alpha Husband's main role is to reassure the Omega Husband. All the ways Tom will try to make Harry happy while carrying their child.

Also a Gender Reveal Party

Where The Dandelion Seed Falls by SquibNation10

Tom was ready to open the Chamber of Secrets and finally reclaim his place as the rightful heir of Slytherin. He would show Malfoy and anyone who dared underestimate him that he was worthy of respect. His journey to become the great Dark Lord was about to begin.

Fate ruins his plans by dropping him a baby.

Your love is Magic, Your love is Might by SquibNation10

Voldemort gifted Harry a de-aged Sirius Black for Christmas, not knowing it would change his whole life too.

This is a story where love can be born from small decisions without intention or preparation, it will take over your (Voldemort’s) life.

The title is a twist on Voldemort's infamous "Magic is Might."

Dry Waters, Blue Summer by SquibNation10

Fenrir observes how deeply Voldemort loves their son, Harry. It is different, unconventional, but nevertheless true.

James Potter Does Not Approve by Lytri 

James had never liked Gaunt, and that wasn’t about to change anytime soon. -- Based off the prompt for the daddymort fest: ‘Your son calls me daddy, too.��

Lullabies and Fireflies by Laserswordtraining

Prompt: Fathermort sings Harry back to sleep after a nightmare —-- Voldemort raises Harry after rescuing him from the Dursleys, and they stay close even as Harry goes off to Hogwarts.

Divine Violation by Soulseeker (Laserswordtraining) 

Harry's had happy childhood with his Papa, but once he discovers the truth that he's Voldemort the monster that killed his parents and hid him from the world, Harry's impudence drives Voldemort's insane obsession to disturbingly far lengths that will ensure that Harry will never be able to deny his rightful place in Voldemort's arms.

Harry finding comfort and hope through his tears despite seeing Voldemort as a loving father, liar and rapist, and ethereal mother.

Sunrise and Reality by LiquidLuckandStuff

Harry is back in the real world after being thrown into an alternate reality where he had a perfect childhood with Tom Riddle as his father. What is real, and what is a dream? He isn't sure anymore.

Harry doesn’t want to forget, but having memories of Voldemort as his father (no matter how much he was loved) is starting to be more trouble than it’s worth.

Voldemort has his own problems to worry about. Mainly, how does he kill Harry Potter after everything that has happened?

Sequel to Sunsets and Daydreams

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Sunlight (Hozier)

All the tales the same/Told before and told again/A soul that's born in cold and rain/Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/And at last can grant a name/To a buried and a burning flame/As love and its decisive pain/Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

But whose heart would not take flight/Betray the moon as acolyte/On first and fierce affirming sight of/Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/I had been lost to you, sunlight/And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight/Oh, your love is sunlight

"I come down with the shivers and start hyperventilating when i hear this song and it makes me want to go outside which is the scariest part"

"I'm not gonna go full infodump here but this song is Peak Vash and Nicholas D. Wolfwood from Trigun-- specifically Nick's feelings towards Vash. Vash's (literal) evil twin brother Knives hired (read: threatened to eradicate the orphanage he kidnapped Nick from as a child if he didn't do what he was told) Nick to act as bodyguard for Vash and guide him to where Knives wants him to go so he can manipulate him for his own gain. Like, he chose the name Knives. This bitch is crazy beyond crazy but this ain't about him. Nick starts out 100% willing to guide Vash like a lamb to slaughter because he HAS to for the orphanage, and this is just some random guy he doesn't know or care about. But then he gets to know Vash, how good of a person he is despite the shit the world (and Knives) has put him through. How he'd rather risk his own life and health than kill another person because he believes he doesn't get to make that choice for people. And despite being someone who'd rather shoot first, pray for them after, Nick starts trying to wound rather than kill just because Vash doesn't like it. It puts them both at risk and he fusses and argues about it and still kills sometimes but he tries anyways. Eventually he decides that he'll do what he can to protect Vash from Knives without provoking him to destroy the orphanage. He ends up caring about him deeply against his own will to the point that his idea of Eden would be to live with Vash and their friends in a peaceful world where none of them have to fight and die. In the manga, Nick's dying request is to see Vash smile again- the genuine smile that he's complimented every time he's seen it. Vash can't give him that, because he knows Nick would see that it was a forced smile. Instead, he just sits with him until he dies. Afterwards, Vash kills willingly for the first time in his entire life (over 150 years. He's not human btw) in order to protect Nick's childhood friend Livio. He wouldn't just do that for just any friend or ally, no, that was out of love. Love so strong he could go against his own mother's teachings that all life matters and people don't get to choose when a life ends, the thing that has kept Vash pacifist all these years, to keep someone that mattered to Nick alive. So while Nick never knew that Vash cared for him the same way he did him, the fact matters that he does."

A Good Song Never Dies (Saint Motel)

There was a moment, a hole opened in the sky/A chance to join their pantheon/For all the times they never heard your battle cry/Now even angels sing along/'Cause a good song never dies/It just reminds you of where you were/The first time it made you cry, the first time you felt alive/No, a good song never dies

"Listen. Listen. It has so many LAYERS, so many fucking. It can be seen from so many angles, for so many characters. It can be an egotistical maniac who doesn't want to die, a sad angsty man who's looking beyond the grave, you can make this song you BITCH and it WORKS."

[chlorinatedpopsicle]

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-023-02717-0

In an online survey of 1124 heterosexual British men using a modified CDC National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, 71% of men experienced some form of sexual victimization by a woman at least once during their lifetime.

If men would like male sexual victimization to be taken more seriously, maybe they should start by not responding to news about instances of male sexual victimization with jokes and/or "he's so lucky!!" comments. I'm sure you already know what I'm talking about, but here's a small example:

I don't know about you, but I never see women making “I got raped by a priest” jokes, “don't drop the soap” jokes, or “fellas, how would you react if you found her? [picture of unconscious or dead woman]” jokes, etc. I only ever see men and boys doing that, strangely enough. Until men and boys stop doing that all the fucking time, I'm gonna find it hard to sympathize with their plight.

The study examines how men may feel discouraged from speaking out about instances of sexual victimization because – as a result of male socialization and male gender expectations – they are afraid of showing any emotional weakness / vulnerability; men may see any display of emotional distress as emasculating. This is true. However, one has to ask: who are the ones who perpetuate these male gender expectations in the first place? Who are the ones pushing these ideas of masculine stoicism; the idea that men mustn't show weakness? In case you've been living under a rock, liberal women have been encouraging men to show more emotional vulnerability for decades now. Liberal women push the “men's mental health matters!!! male SA victims are valid!!!” stuff harder than anyone, even MRAs. Just as men are the ones making the rape jokes, these masculine gender expectations are taught and upheld almost entirely by men. They created the stigma all on their own.

Anyway, let's address the elephant in the room: 71% is a big number! I have to wonder, though, how many of the reported sexual victimization incidents were rape, and how many were things like unwanted sexual comments, groping, and leering. Those things are definitely distressing and even psychologically damaging, but nobody should deny that they are not on the same level as sexual assault – something experienced by a staggeringly high number of women and girls. Anyway, here it is:

As I expected, forced penetration (what I would consider rape) doesn't make up a whole lot of that percentage. If you want, you can scroll through some of the tags on my blog to see how statistics for female SA victims differ. Well, probably. Tumblr's tagging system is finicky.

I'm sorry, but I'd rather focus my concern on the things that men are doing. Like mass-scale sex trafficking and prostitution. And violent pornography. And spycam terrorism / voyeuristic porn / deepfake porn. And forced child marriage and bride kidnapping. And barring girls from going to school. And female genital mutilation. And forcing women to wear head-coverings and then brutally assaulting and arresting them if they don't comply. And constant femicides. And "honor" killings. And incestuous rape and sexual abuse at horrifying rates. And brutal domestic violence. And every war in the history of humanity (and all the violence that war entails). And committing over 90% of violent crimes. And raping the female patients in their care. And raping babies and corpses and animals like it's nobody's business. And other quirky male activities. Thanks for the ask!

[sp0o0kylights]

Mimic Steve!!! at number Seven I see,,, was that, perchance, on purpose? :D

AYYYY you caught that! I'm so glad someone did lol.

I had to go hunt down what I already posted about the Mimic Steve AU lmao

It's honestly easier to read the first part here , but basically, it's an AU that centers around how the Steve we know isn't actually Steve Harrington; he's a replacement that his parents bought and paid Brenner/The Lab for.

What he actually is, is a being similar to humans with mimic-like abilities from another dimension. They kidnapped him at a young age and then later tortured him into being Steve when the real one passed away from cancer as a child.

There's a vast number of problems happening when the story starts but the biggest is that Robin and Nancy have accidentally discovered that the real Steve Harrington is dead and the house Steve lives in doesn't actually belong to the Harrington's.

In a panic-ridden attempt to prevent them from discovering he's a monster from an alternate dimension whose stuck, Steve taps Eddie for help on grounds that he has romantic feelings for Eddie and already thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved in return. I he loses Eddie as a friend over this then well-- chances were that was gonna happen anyways because he sucks at hiding that he's in love--but he can't lose Robin.

In his head, that means Robin can't learn that he's not human

Snippet:

“Sweetheart, you are Steve.”

He frantically shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m a copy of Steve, one they forced so hard that it--it overwrote the real me. I don’t know who I actually am, Eddie.” 

Besides a fucking monster, from somewhere else. 

(At his lowest, in the dark of the house in the middle of the night, Steve turned himself back into his base form. 

The thing he was--or at least thought he was--before he’d been kidnapped. 

Stared at himself in the mirror and felt only terror, because he didn’t recognize himself. )

Eddie stepped up, gently took one of Steve’s hands. 

Threaded their fingers together. 

“Okay.” He said, eyes searching Steve’s own. “What can I do to help you find yourself?” 

Steve stared back. 

“I haven’t--I never…” He trailed off faintly, all thoughts of who he had been and who he was impersonating vanishing in the face of his reality. 

That Steve’s life had been so preoccupied with keeping himself safe by living within a lie, he never actually spent any time trying to figure out who he was. 

Eddie seemed to realize this, and nodded once as if Steve’s expression was an answer in and of itself. “It’s okay. I mean it. It’s a big thing, and it’ll take you some time, but I’ll be there with you if you want me to be.” 

Steve sniffed.

“Even if I turn into a car again?” 

Eddie laughed softly. ‘Yeah Sunlight. Even if you scare the shit out of me by turning into a car again.” 

“They’re emergency purposes only.” Steve said--and he meant it. 

(The fear of getting stuck as something non-human had terrified him so badly the car incident had left him puking up his guts for two days after, nerves shot.) 

“Now about changing into that courthouse clerk…”

[nonuggetshere]

I can't sleep anyway so I might as well drop an idea for the two to three girlies who know about FaaF enough to be interested, before I attempt and inevitably fail to sleep again

(My eye mask fell back down over my eyes as I was typing this so I don't think it wants me to share KDBDKDB)

✨️Time travel AU variant✨️ wow who could have guessed

Adult Flower, after a shitshow with their parents and being left bitter and resentful, ends up transported back in time to when their other self is still very little

Two ideas I had for how they try to fix shit, one less extreme one more extreme. Both times they cover up the fact they're void and wear a mask

1) They worm their way into the palace and find the king talking to somebody, the Pure Vessel standing a bit of a distance away. Perfect! They approach their younger self and they look up at them, for a moment they stare at each other and Flower feel weird, then they just quietly apologise for what they're about to do and just. Full force kick the child. Before ducking behind the cover. Young Flower smacks the ground hard and breaks their mask, and being a little kid they naturally burst into loud cries. Flower watches from their hiding spot, a hand on their sword, as their father's face changes into the same horrified shock that they saw during their accolade. Just praying he's the kind of man they thought he once was. Ans when he rushes over to scoop the little kid into his arms, heal them and soothe them, Flower let's out a sigh of relief. Don't ask me what they'd do if it didn't go according to plan or they got caught, they did not think this far, they just took the easiest way out to show PK their younger self isn't hollow.

2) They worm their way into the palace but this time they just. Essentially kidnap their younger self. Bitter and resentful, they didn't trust their parents to give them a good life, so they decided to take matters into their own hands and find them a good home. They expected the king to look for them, maybe try a new vessel, they did *not* expect him to go scorched earth and hunt their ass down like they're a prey animal to get back his ~~baby~~ vessel. Once he figures out that the Pure Vessel wasn't pure, and he does, somehow, Flower is in even bigger shit than before. Too tired to explain properly but, I basically imagined he and his entourage eventually catch up and he damn near kills older Flower just to get his kid back. He first things first goes to check if his child is alright, and when he does he turns to their kidnapper - now heavily wounded on the ground - with intent to kill only to freeze. They're bleeding void and their mask shattered and fell to the ground, and he obviously recognises the former Pure Vessel in them - his own and his root's features. He gets up and approaches, and they just snarl at him to make this quick, but instead he kneels in front of them and gently cradles their face, as if he can't believe this. Clearly confused and in shock but trying to figure out how the fuck is this possible, all previous anger has left him for now.

Don't ask me why Flower's only two plans involved kicking or kidnapping a child

[humanaaa]

I AM GONNA TALK ABOUT MY BRAZILIANS ISEKAI AU

All the brazilians are murdered, and they are isekai'd!

Cellbit: follows the "you get isekai'd and go to a fantasy world as yourself trope"! He wakes up in the fae kingdom, some chaotic faes put him in jail as a prank, and he is saved by the "chef" of the royal castle, Roier. Roier definitely isnt the fae price pretending to be the chef. Roier really wants to run away from the kingdom, especially as the whole kingdom is under lock down! No faes can get in and no faes can get out! It sucks.Roier also wishes he could see his son again, as he thinks Jaiden found him after Bobby was kidnapped.

When they do run away they make a living of travelling the whole world, selling food and searching for Bobby and Jaiden, it's nice.

Bagi: following the "reborn as a random npc that was supposed to die" trope, she wakes up drowning in a river and discovers she is a noblewoman from the demon kingdom. She pretends her almost death made her lose her memories, and for that she is forced to work in the demon king castle, who says they will help her to get her memories back (lying). She ends up meeting Iron Mouse, who tell her she is the actual Queen of the Demons, but her crown was stolen! Bagi and Mouse start ploting so Mouse can become queen again.

Later, they get help from Tina, a woman who also works in the castle, making tea, but she really wants to be a fashion designer! But the clothes the workers use wear so fucking ugly and she will kill the Demon King with her own hands for forcing her to wear that.

Pac: vaguely following the "Villain Are Destined to Die" plot idea. He is reborn as the villain of the story, wakes up in the pirate kingdom and is saved by a janitor called Fit. When he wakes up, he can't talk: a bunch of options appear on his vision, each saying a different thing for him to do/talk and he must select one of them so he can do something. Later, he discovers he can disable it, and that he and Mike are linked now, and they both banter while Mike tries to find him.

He also sees a heart above everyone's head, showing a percentage, he believes it's how much they like him, this surely wont bring any problems!

Mike: following the "reborn as an animal trope"! He wakes up as a magma cube (and also meets Slime here, they are brothers: were made by the same lab), and can hear Pac's thoughts, they discover they can talk to each other with their minds, and Mike goes through a journey so he can find him. He accidentally meets the Godness of Creation and becames a half human - half magma cube!

Forever: follows the "reborn the Hero of the story" trope! He wakes up and is forced to go to the Island Where Dragons Live, because, apparently, "a dragon is the one bringing all the problems of this world, and the hero must slay it". But. Forever doesnt want to kill a dragon what the fuck.

While trying to find a way out of the island, he finds an dragon egg, who hatches while he was holding it, he names the dragon baby Richarlyson, and he is a father now! But the dragons know he is the hero who is supposed to kill them, now he needs to figure out how dragons work so he can raise his child, find a way out and try to not get killed, fun!

Felps: Following the "Preferential Treatment for The Possessed Person" plot line, he wakes up, he can talk to the god who created this world and the voices who are watching it (you guys :D), he has whole skill thing he can upgrade with money! He can read the story! He can get very op items! But he is mostly making a square, and having fun, the world is supposed to end soon he knows that but, where is the fun in being overpowered :( He also acidentally creates a religion out of himself, oops!

Bonus:

Jaiden:

Following the "reborn as a bird plotline"! If i had a nickel for everytime i read a reincarnation story where the mc is reborn as a bird i would've 4 nickels, what isnt a lot but its curious it happened 4 times. Anyways, she first woke up in the fae kingdom, she and Roier adopt a dragon kid! They name him Bobby, until he was kidnapped one day, she went after him, and the lockdown happened so Roier couldnt leave. She is working with the federation, who says they will help to her to find Bobby!

The last time Roier heard of Jaiden was when he got a letter from her saying he didnt need to search for them because she found Bobby. But she never wrote this letter. Weird! right?

[blu3cl0v3rs]

Badly Summarizing Njnjago

Season 2 Rewrite Edition

TW: SUICIDE ATTEMPT MENTION

the sentences are surrounded by "—"

stay safe :]

"The Ninja" work mininum wage while Meow and Gandalf motorbike off into the sunset. The Devil forces the sneks to work for him, and the snek leaders don't like that, so they try to kidnap Trauma Child. Don't worry, with the magic of ✨️plot convenience✨️, Gandalf and Meow save Trauma Child, and "The Ninja" all get fired. The Devil uses magical lava goop to turn the weapons into a Big Gold Stick-Thing. "The Ninja" meet Brownie, who owns a dojo, and beats Brownie up so they can train there.

The Devil summons pirates, evil Ninja doubles, and a Grundal, and somehow still fails. What a loser. Trauma Child gets aged up with magical tea. The Devil and "The Ninja" time travel and fuck around in the past. The Big Gold Stick-Thing and god's gold weapons from the past are shot into space. For some reason.

Satan's Wife shows up. Instead of actually being a mother for Trauma Child, she's been researching the Green Ninja's destiny. Everyone slow claps for the Best Mother of the Year /s. The Serpentine commit a coup d'etat by literally shoving The Devil out of a helicopter, and Bloo Snek Leader takes over.

Satan's Wife gives a history lesson, and introduced god's greatest mistake: Evil Liquid Cat. Evil Liquid Cat is stranded on the other half of Ninjago that god broke off, which we call the Dim Landmass. Evil Liquid Cat created some indestructible warriors out of stone that we're gonna call the Rockies. Also, you remember the big boi snek that The Devil smacked on the head? Well, the author forgot to mention that it caused big boi snek to fucking explode, and the gooey green remains can animate things. Anyways, the gooey green stuff brings one of the Rockies to life that Satan's Wife found underneath the museum she works at. "The Ninja" trick it into falling into a bottomless pit.

Meanwhile, after the devil got shoved out of a 'copter, he found the Dim Landmass, and Evil Liquid Cat strikes a deal with him. The Devil unlocks a new level of Dim Landmass, now it's not mostly underwater! Satan's Wife hits on Gandalf. The author is disgusted. A bunch of the Rockies are reawakened, and the sneks get locked underground again as the Rockies wreak havoc upon Ninjago City.

—

Gandalf and Satan's Wife literally attempt suicide via jumping out a building window, but "The Ninja" go "nuh uh" and save their asses by catching them on their flying boat the author forgot about last season.

—

The boosters broke, so they sail to the Dim Landmass like how you're supposed to use a ship. Freezy's bird friend gets shot down. Demonic starfish eat some of the boat, and they crash land onto a not-lighthouse prison. SURPRISE! Freezy's dad is somehow alive, fixes their ship, and they fly away to the Dim Landmass.

Meanwhile, Evil Liquid Cat and The Devil scoop up a bunch of evil galaxy mud, and are using it to create a super weapon. "The Ninja" get caught trying to sneak in and escape, then they go there with Satan's Wife to try to get the devil's fancy new hat and escape, but not before Meow gets kidnapped and experimented on.

One dramatic hero speech later, and "The Ninja" try to defeat the devil again.

They fail. The devil gets possessed by Evil Liquid Cat, and Trauma Child gets physical trauma as well as emotional trauma! I would say baby's first traumatic experience, but Satan's Wife abandoning him and his entire time at Darkley's takes that title.

Ninjagoans(?) get turned evil, and the possessed devil and his army of Rockies go to Ninjago. Turns out the possessed devil has worse aim than the Storm Troopers and somehow manages to miss Brownie like 20 times. Then, the possessed devil decides to fuck it and uses Russian bombing tactics of "if you have shit aim, just shoot bigger ones in the general area" and launches evil mist everywhere.

The color coded dumbasses have their hero speech as the author spends way too much time looking at the sand physics, and holy shit god had a mech??? Anyways, "The Ninja" fly back to Ninjago, fight the Rockies, and get evil-possessed??? All except for Trauma Child, who unlocks God's fighting style and light beams the everloving shit out of his possessed satan father, which literally blasts the demonic purple blob AND the devil out!

Now, we're left with the world saved, a DILF, and said DILF's brother's dumbass students.

The End.

Or is it?? You'll see next time when I post Season 3!

First | Previous | Next

[cyberneticlagomorph]

((How was the "the camarilla but catholic and worse" founded? Were they different from how they are today? If so, was there any particular event that changed them?))

god ok this has been sitting in my inbox for days but i didn't forget about it i prommy.

Ok so, "the camarilla but catholic and worse" is the fun ooc definition of the Knights of the Ivory Tower (formally the Knights of Malta in older iterations of the universe), but i'm still work-shopping that name for them idk.

The Knights started out as like this aberrant faction of the Round Table who later split off from the main group after some sort of Schism and took Excalibur with them. Mind you this was way back when before the magical and mundane halves of the world were split apart forever and shit like The Veil (web of secrets and lies that keep magic hidden from the general population) was invented, so this was a time of dragons and fairies actively stealing babies and whatnot.

That original First Knight (some say it was a knight of Arthurian legend, some say it was straight up Saint George, or even the biblical Adam come back to save mankind from Something. Nobody is exactly sure who that guy was, I know I'm not and I'm the one making this shit up) saw the sinful and hedonistic ways of magic and pledged to cleanse the world of it or at least keep humanity safe from it in some way shape or form, so he gathered a bunch of like minded individuals and went to work.

What happened shortly after the first group of Knights was formed was basically a war against magical creatures that culminated in the near extinction of many magical species, including dragons.

How this war ended is largely up for debate, some claim that the Knights won outright and forced all the magical creatures to sign a contract (i'm talking like Ursula "sign away a part of you" faustian type bullshit Contract) that forced them all to Behave the way the humans wanted (ie no stealing babies, poisoning wells, kidnapping princesses etc), others say that the fae were actually winning and the Knights tricked them into signing it, but that Contract was still signed no matter what and it became known as the Dictates of Preservation.

These Dictates were a set of laws that prohibited certain kinds of magic outright, like love potions or the ritual required to make a changeling child. Those Dictates are still in place today and are largely why Fae in Jack's timeline are relatively toothless compared to their ancestors.

ANYWAY.

The Knights then appointed themselves protectors of humanity, they invented the Veil and enforce it very fiercely.

Their organization has grown from a plucky band of medieval Knights, to like the shadowy hand of the fucking Vatican in some places. Their base of operations is a secluded pocket dimension only accessible by the Knights, their guests, and creatures with a flagrant disregard for those rules (ie Jack who can go p much anywhere he wants within his own universe). Yes it's a literal tower, it's caked in dragon ivory from those bloody centuries worth of hunts, each piece carved with the name of the Knight who murdered the dragon it came from and the date the deed was done.

They've grown with the times in terms of technology and medicine and arms, but they're still extremely catholic so they have monks and nuns and clerics as part of their group now with the nuns raising the children they get from Places.

One of the tenants of real chivalry is charity, and children's homes count as charities right? Where else to get fresh new recruits if your existing followers aren't breeding fast enough.

There's like, untold of levels to how seedy and dangerous this shit gets, the Knights have gotten their hands on numerous SCP level anomalies that they keep locked away or use as tools or propaganda to further their agendas.

Like Excalibur, who is always bonded to and wielded by the current head of their organization. Or Noah's ark, which they use for artifact storage. The christian themed anomalies are classed as "holy relics" while stuff like the Promethean Flame is an "arcane artifact"

It's just A Whole Lot

[aita-blorbos]

(OCs) AITA for making my dad adopt 2 more kids?

My dad (physically 35M? he's immortal) and I (21F) moved to a new country back when I was 9, and I absolutely hated it back then. I got into a really big argument with Dad shortly after moving into our new house, ran away, and then got kidnapped by this weird evil cult. It's a bit embarassing, but I did genuinely believe they were doing the right thing for a while after being forced to join - the leader (???M) was very persuasive and a manipulative fucking dick.

Anyway, I was doing super well in the cult. 2 years into my time there, the leader told me that I was something special and there was going to be a super important role I might play. To that end, he gave me my own room and assigned me two retainers / bodyguards, a pair of twins, whom I will refer to as Port (currently 14M) and Starboard (14F) (I love ships, fight me).

The two of them were literally toddler soldiers. They were also apparently trained to be really good at murder, which is super worrying for a pair of 4 year olds who should've been just enjoying their childhood and, y'know, not killing people. NGL this was the first thing that made me question the cult. Anyway, the kids were also super adorable, so I might've sorta adopted them - to be fair, they also stayed in my room, so it wasn't hard for me to think of them as little siblings.

Dad managed to rescue me shortly after that. When he found me, Port and Starboard were also there, and I begged Dad to also adopt them because 1) they're my siblings now, c'mon and 2) they really need a parental figure who won't force them to be child soldiers. He agreed, and so now we're all a family. Those two have grown past the child soldier indoctrination and have learnt to have fun, be regular kids and then teenagers. I couldn't be prouder.

Here's where I might be TA though: Dad, as you may have guessed, is a single father. Sure, he's immortal, but it's only in the 'not dying' way and not the omnipotent way; he's still one person. I love my dad, and he did his best, but there were definitely times back then where he just couldn't take care of me, especially considering I was kind of a brat as a kid - that's how I got picked up by the cult, after all. Adopting both Port and Starboard, in addition to me, meant a lot more responsibilities on his part. I tried to help, 'cause I was now the eldest sibling, but ultimately it was still Dad having to earn a living to support himself and three kids, while also being the sole caretaker of all three. He's never complained about it, but I've realised how much more tired and haggard he became after that day. If it wasn't for his immortality, he could've well died from overexertion at some point.

I wouldn't trade my siblings for the world - but I'm worried if my decision is hurting my dad. AITA?

[sapphire-weapon]

I can't help but pick apart characters I like and resonate with. Where RE is concerned, it's kinda infamous to offer only little insights and tidbits. That personally leaves me to deepdive into fanbase opinions and thought pieces. Anyway, my question is, do have any favourite headcanons about Leon and his lifestyle/personality? :)

My two cents is that he's very introverted and a little bit awkward and lonely. Idk if that's obvious, or maybe you disagree? Just curious, if you'd like to weigh in with anything extra. :)

The thing about Leon is that I don't think he's introverted by nature; I think his emotional breakdown and subsequent depression and drinking problem sort of forced him into that lifestyle. This is for both versions of Leon, too -- Remake and OG. I think that pre-RE2 he was fairly extroverted (OG moreso than Remake, but still both) and would've rather gone out than stay in.

And while his actual nature hasn't changed, his mental health and lifestyle both have. On some level, he'd still prefer to go out than stay in, and he'd rather be with people rather than be alone, but his job keeps him pretty socially isolated, and the depressive part of his brain doesn't have the energy/doesn't want to be bothered with trying to navigate around it, because he also has a newfound sense of paranoia and self-loathing to fight through, too. So his brain just kind of goes "it's not worth it" now.

I think it's gotten worse as he's gotten older, too. OG RE4 Leon still seemed to want to try to hold onto some part of who he was before Raccoon City -- ID Leon, too. But then we start getting into Damnation and then RE6 and then Vendetta, and he just seems to crawl further and further into whatever post-trauma hole he's dug for himself.

Remake Leon is a slightly different beast in that regard; his character arc seems to have been accelerated a bit compared to OG, and he just went straight to the level of cynicism and self-isolation that his OG counterpart doesn't hit until RE6.

He's definitely lonely, though. There's no denying that. Leon exists in a world so far removed from the average person that he probably doesn't even remember how to have a normal conversation anymore.

Could you imagine post-RE4 Leon trying to just like... date normally...? Leon, who was kidnapped and coerced via the threat of violence against a child into his career -- a man who's been completely estranged from his family since 1998 -- just sitting there listening to some girl talk about how her boss is a dick and she's having problems with her sister or something. He's just like "... yeah that sounds... that's crazy :T" He's the personification of can'trelate.jpeg

And the people who do understand him are so physically far from him (I think Chris and Jill still live in Europe, at least for part of the year, if I'm not mistaken) and have their own lives that it's not like he keeps in touch with them very well.

Most of Leon's life probably blurs together, and he has a horrible concept of time as a result. Like, he'll go several years between actually physically seeing/hanging out with Claire, but every time he sees her, he's like "I just saw you last summer" -- but no, he very much did not.

Very few of his days are different from the last. He wakes up, works out, showers, goes to the office, comes home, has a few drinks and dicks around, then goes to sleep. Every day. And he doesn't really do anything much on the weekends, either. He cleans if he can muster the will to do it (fuck it, if not; it's not like he lives with anyone or ever has guests), and then he drinks and dicks around some more. And then the weekend is over. And the cycle repeats.

And when I say "dicks around" I mean that Leon has watched so many movies at this point in his life that he actually could be fun for conversation if he would just pull his head out of his own ass and realize that even normal people have, like, hobbies and interests and shit.

And while I make fun of him for being a dumbass idiot butt monkey all the time, I do genuinely think he reads a lot -- both fiction and nonfiction. Especially once ebooks really start taking off and becoming a thing.

I like to think that the big secret that he'll never tell anyone is that he's a sucker for a good romance. It's not his preferred go-to genre or anything, but every once in a while, he'll self-indulge and live vicariously through a romance story.

This next headcanon is 100% just me projecting, because this is what I did during and after my own breakdown when I still lived on the east coast -- but when he does want to get out of the house, he waits until late at night (like 11pm or later) and then goes and just. Watches the ocean.

And thinks about throwing himself into it. But never does.

[4straydogs]

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA AND THE ONGOING STRUGGLE NOT TO KILL ANYONE

CHAPTER 7: A NEW WAY TO DIE

read on ao3

Atsushi is woken up early in the morning. This is normal when he stays with Ryuunosuke, the guy’s phone is never not going off. It used to be more of an issue, and would cause issues between them.

Atsushi’s ears are very sensitive and with Tiger hearing they pick up a lot they are not supposed to. In the beginning stages of his slow acclimation to the Akutagawa home, he would wake up in a strange place, think he was kidnapped, and lose his mind about it. He’d keep his eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep, listening in on every little sound to get a clue on his wherabouts.

The first thing he hears is always Ryuunosuke’s voice. This doesn’t reassure him of his continued freedom but only reinforces Atsushi’s belief in his kidnapping. 

“I see,” Ryuunosuke said in a hushed tone. “Bring his daughter to the base, then. If he feels so confident as to parade himself around with the senator’s child, he should know what it is like to fear for the well-being of his own.”

“Yes sir,” came the other voice. “And if she resists? How much force are we authorized to use?”

Ryuunosuke snorts, something he only does when he’s tired or drunk. This begins to grow the doubt in Atsushi’s brain, to remind him that he and Ryuunosuke had another sleepover instead of another blowout fight. “Well, if she turns out to be an ability user, all of it. Otherwise the same amount for any unruly civilian. Don’t act like you’ve never done something like this before, it makes you seem stupid.”

“Yes sir, sorry sir.”

“You’re dismissed.”

“Yes sir,” the voice said. Atsushi heard the end tone of a phonecall.

The realization he was in Ryuunosuke’s bed of his own voilition came later. The realization that came first was that—  “There’s no way I’m letting you kidnap an innocent girl.”

Ryuunosuke was still in his nightclothes, staring wide eyes at Atsushi, who was on his hands and knees now on top of the bed, less sexy and more tense. A wild animal about to pounce. His claws began to grow in.

“Stop that. You’ll ruin my sheets,” Ryuunosuke drawled.

“Akutagawa,” Atsushi growled, saying nothing else.

They’d ended up fighting it out, but the girl went missing and her father wised up and followed the mafia’s demands fast enough that Atsushi hadn’t been able to stop it or save her. It was useless violence, wasted effort.

Now when Ryuunosuke rolls out of bed to take a phone call, Atsushi rolls away and tries to control his ability out of his ears. He doesn’t need to know. It helps no one. It only hurts. 

But his phone starts ringing as well. With a groan, he rolls back over, reaches to where his phone was charging on Ryuunosuke’s nightstand, and answers: “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Kyouka asks, urgently as she says everything.

“Um.” Kyouka’s old enough to know he’s sleeping with someone, right? He can say that? Should he though? What if she asks who, could she handle that information? Could he handle telling her?

He feels like he’s standing under freezing rain. Was starting a relationship of any sort with Ryuunosuke really the best idea? 

“You need to get over here now. There’s a zombie outbreak in Yokohama. Be careful.”

She hangs up.

Atsushi looks up at Ryuunosuke, who is still on his own call but staring at Atsushi, his jaw a bit dropped. Holy shit.

Atsushi’s jaw is also a bit low to the ground. “No way, really?” 

Akutagawa murmurs something and hangs up the phone. He nods solemnly. “Zombies.”

“Fuck.”

Atsushi has to wear his new clothes out because they were peeled off of him rather quickly last night and stayed fairly clean. His others are already in Ryuunosuke’s hamper, and Atsushi was half-convinced to just rewear them anyway to avoid getting questions from his coworkers but it turns out Ryuunosuke’s hamper is the grossest place on earth. Being covered in the rotting, life-giving fluids of other people probably has something to do with it. 

They get dressed and run out quickly. Atsushi elects not to stay for breakfast or even coffee, having snacks and caffeine in abundance at the office. He runs into Gin who is already on the floor at the front door and pulling on her shoes.

“I can’t fucking believe this town,” she complains, standing up and stomping her feet firmly until each foot is finally in the tight leather boot. Aesthetic over functionality, but she’s quick with her routine.

She waves behind her at Atsushi, who is himself still tying his laces. “See you soon, most likely.”

Yeah, probably. It already seems like one of those incidents. The kind that gets every organization in Yokohama involved. 

Ryuunosuke as an executive is just as important if not more so to the PM’s counter-zombie plan as Gin, but he will never skip a meal if he can help it, even if it is for the fate of the city. They have rice on already, because Atsushi always makes sure he has rice ready at all times in any house he’s staying at for the random cravings of his favorite food— the metabolism shit he’s got going on is no joke, without hijacking the Akutagawas’ rice cooker Atsushi could actually starve. Ryuunosuke wanders out of the kitchen to Atsushi right as Gin leaves. He nudges Atsushi’s back with his knee. “You don’t want your chazuke?”

It will be a cold day in hell before he says no to chazuke, but it must be snowing there today. “I have to go to work. You have to go to work. We can eat together later.”

“My life is not as promised as yours,” Ryuunosuke raises. Atsushi turns around so he can look Ryuunosuke in the eyes, as such a bold sentence deserves, but Ryuunosuke’s stare is unwavering. “Who knows? Maybe I will die, or maybe a zombie is the only thing that can kill you.”

This might be literal, but is more likely a test of Atsushi’s commitment to this thing they are doing. The answer is the same. “Don’t be so dramatic, that won’t happen. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Seems likely,” Ryuunosuke agrees, walking back to the kitchen. Atsushi watches him go, mostly to watch his bony ass, but also to laugh at the way he shakes his head and curses. “This city…”

Atsushi’s commute to the agency is likely fast enough that he still beats Gin’s time to her own job. He jumps across the roofs of buildings in a line of blue light, surprised that the very expensive clothes he wears don’t rip at his transformation, but instead just roll up as if they were made to give way to that kind of transformative force. His shoes still suffer, but those he wore were the cheap ones he always did. It didn’t matter so much. 

He perches over the ledge of a building, the one that he does his shopping in sometimes, the one that carries that brand of cereal Kyouka likes. He leans forwards, claws curling over the edge threatening an impossible fall. The sun has just barely started to seep over the harbor and so it can only cut thin trails across the street below. What Atsushi sees, peering down below him, is small writhing forms gathered together, shimmying against each other in vague directions. There are glinting metal cars stopped in the intersection with small forms as well, just starting to see the sun. The mass overtakes them in the time Atsushi has to blink and the screams reach him after.

He thinks, I could have saved them. He thinks, I am fast enough, there is no one but me fast enough.

 In the next breath he is at the office.

The windows and doors are boarded up so Atsushi enters through the roof. He walks down the stairs to the roof access and then out to the actual door of their office. He pushes the door open, not looking at anyone in particular, and sits on the couch. He’s not really in a desk kind of mood. 

“Fucking zombies,” Yosano is saying in her office. She walks out with Ranpo behind her and Poe behind him, the latter of them swaying dangerously. His eyes are wide and glittery and he keeps looking at his own body as if he doesn’t recognize it. 

“Mah, it’s a good thing I don’t have to. That would have been an issue,” Ranpo crinkles his nose in disgust as Yosano cackles, her hand at her stomach. “I can barely do so after he eats vegetables, I can’t imagine brains. Blech. Poe, if you ever become a zombie again, we’re going to have to break up.”

Atsushi hadn’t been aware they were together, but it makes sense. Poe looks sick beyond himself, ignoring Ranpo as he stumbles onto the couch with Atsushi. He raises his knees to his ears, his head bowing between them. 

Kunikida walks in similarly rattled. He’s stained in someone else’s carotid splatters, Atsushi knows by the smell. The angle the blood hit him was such that the person must have been maybe two feet in front of Kunikida when they got viciously mauled. This is the kind of thing that greatly upsets Atsushi, but could break Kunikida. 

Kenji walks in after, skipping with just a bit less heart than normal. That’s the kind of unfettered stability you learn to love about Kenji.

Kunikida walks like it’s a drill, heavy footsteps each punctuated by a military stiffness. His face is hard, but he does not meet anyone’s eyes, simply clings on to his notebook which he holds tightly clutched to his side. He has to walk past the couch to get to his desk and seems to be on that journey but stops right at the edge of the couch and turns to face the two taking refuge there.

Kunikida’s eyes beneath the glasses are too tinted in red. He hadn’t even bothered to wash the blood off his glasses or his face. He looks at Poe and opens his mouth to say something, but what it is seems to evaporate the moment he catches Atsushi in his periphery. His mouth, already open, drops a bit and his head suddenly jerks to better face him. “Atsushi, why the hell do you look good? What the hell?”

“I was gonna say!” Naomi jumps up from Tanizaki’s desk. “Like, hello?”

Atsushi looks down at himself and the way his sweater hugs his newly toned muscles. Eh. 

“Oh yeah,” Poe says, turning to face him. He’s a bit too close though, close enough that Atsushi can see the returning color of his cheeks contrasted against the black fabric of his turtleneck. It’s like staring at Atsushi’s tits is bringing him back to life. “I know this brand. I was planning to buy that top, but I don’t think it would look quite the same on me. Maybe Ranpo…”

Yosano flicks that thought away with a sharp turn of her hand. “Not a chance, Ranpo wears the cape for a reason.” 

“You don’t know that!” Ranpo insists, though they definitely do. “Poe, you should buy the pants at least. And Atsushi, keep letting your boyfriend pick out clothes for you. It’s good for morale.”

It does seem to be, because the rest of the chorus pops out of the woodworks and cubicles to ask: “Boyfriend?”

Kyouka in particular materializes directly in front of Atsushi and stares him down with intense black eyes. He feels in danger, or maybe like Ryuunosuke is. 

“Guys, people are dying,” Atsushi reminds them, weakly.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I got distracted by Atsushi looking decent for once.” Yosano shrugs. “I can cure zombies, and they seem to be staying in more or less one piece so they’re still intact for healing. They should be fine, but the sooner we act the better.”

Atsushi suddenly feels lighter and Kunikida looks the same. He can still save those people, he can still make up for his mistakes.

Poe looks a bit sick again. It seems like he was the zombie they tried it on, poor guy. He turns into a man-eating monster and the person around to comfort him when he wakes up is fucking Ranpo Edogawa. Tough luck all around. 

“The conference room is ready,” Haruno says from inside it, her head peaking out. “Come in. Oh wow, Atsushi—“

Dazai pops out too, and whistles appreciatively in interruption. It gets the point across.

“This is workplace harassment,” Atsushi says to his friend four years his senior. He walks into the room and sits down at a spot next to where Dazai usually does.

“Eh, probably,” Dazai considers seriously, like the thought of anyone caring about that sort of thing had never occurred to him. He looks down at himself in the distantly hollow way he sometimes does when the Port Mafia’s boss is brought up, then follows. 

It’s, like, the first real Agency mission Atsushi’s taken since he started hanging out with the Black Lizard squad… was it actually weeks ago? He hasn’t seen Tanizaki and the secretary squad outside of work in awhile, and to be honest maybe not Yosano or Ranpo either, and definitely not Kenji (for Kenji’s own safety, he’s pretty well integrated with Byakko now and it bodes ill for good meat), but he’s still been meeting up with Kunikida and Dazai for his weekly training sessions (separately, on different days) and when he’s not with the Akutagawas he still lives with Kyouka. 

It’s not that he doesn’t still show up for the 9-to-5 part of Agency work, or even the trips to local crime scenes during the week, but he doesn’t really hang around the dorms like he used to. The younger members of the Agency text in their group chat to make plans for movie nights and grocery trips, but Atsushi always somehow already has something with Gin or Dazai or Ryuunosuke. Sometimes he and Kyouka are staying home to watch a movie, or sometimes Atsushi’s so tired that all he wants to do is go home to his closet or even just to Ryuunosuke’s faux-tiger carpet and read one of Dazai’s books. He’s being sent on a lot of solo trips when he’s sent out of office, and on those he typically by some accident of fate sees any one of the Black Lizard squad, or one time even Kajii. Most times it’s easier to work together for the same end than fight a battle on two fronts. 

So, this job is rare. Not just because Atsushi is actually working with his co-workers, but because the whole Agency is involved. Because all of Yokohama is involved. 

“This man—“ Kunikida points with his stick at the whiteboard, where hung with a magnet is an eight-by-eleven photograph of a sickly old white man— “touched down in Yokohama between four and six hours ago. We do not know the true nature of his Ability, but it seems to be a ‘zombie’ type Ability. As Kenji and I discovered earlier when stuck in the train station—“ they had been coming home from a supervised visit to Kenji’s village— “All typical zombie-movie rules should apply.”

“I hit them in the head!” Kenji cheers. Atsushi imagines that Kenji is what zombie movie heroes want to be when they grow up. “That’s the best way to deal with vermin!”

Kunikida turns a bit green at the apparent reminder. Kunikida is what Atsushi imagines superheroes wish they were. Atsushi sometimes wishes he was as unshakably sure if his morals as to be Kunikida, but then he remembers all the problems that come with being Kunikida. Better to not.

“He also seems to be immune to the force of their bite in the same way he’s impervious to bullets, which again by movie rules is how the zombie ability travels,” Kunikida agrees. “Other agents that we believe should be able to withstand the bite are Atsushi, on account of your healing ability, and Dazai for obvious reasons.”

“Because he doesn’t have a brain!” Tanizaki jokes. Because this joke would have been better used on Kenji earlier, or even on himself, no one laughs. Instead, together, they mourn the killer opportunity for later, similar jokes. Tanizaki wilts. 

Dazai— for being such an asshole— is a surprisingly sensitive person. A classic ‘dish-it-but-can’t take it’ kind of person. He acts like the jokes and jabs fly right over his head, and for select people he does actually let them go, but horrible things seem to befall those who try to bully Dazai. It might be more accurate to say he is simply revenge-oriented. Tanizaki’s poorly thought out joke earned him the sense of an anvil hovering right above his head, and he seems to know it too, glancing nervously at a smoothly smiling ex-executive. 

“… Well, we don’t have any actual data on how the zombie ability interacts with either of yours, so still operate with reasonable caution,” Kunikida moves on smoothly. “We have determined that the Ability’s effects can be reversed in two ways. Firstly, we find the Ability User and have Dazai nullify the ability, preventing the spread in that way. Secondly, Doctor Yosano uses her ability on the afflicted, as seen earlier.”

Naomi stops in the notes she’s taking, pre-filling out the incident paperwork and insurance claims. “How does that work? Also, isn’t that kind of a lot?”

“It’s kinda a mortal injury, minus the fact they’re supposed to be undead,” Haruno muses. “I guess she, like, un-undeads them?”

“I’ll do what I can to save the people we find,” Yosano says, glaring around, obviously a bit miffed about the secretaries talking about her like a tool instead of a person. “Besides, it’s not like it’ll be pleasant for them.”

Atsushi grimaces as Dazai smirks. “No, I suppose not,” Dazai says.

Obviously, it would be best for Yosano to only have to use her Ability as few times as possible. Even without the insurmountability of the task of individually reversing the zombied Yokohamans as they themselves continue to infect others, Yosano is very particular about the use of her ability. For reasons that are none of Atsushi’s business but definitely have to do with her thing about the Port Mafia boss, she insists on putting people through extensive torture before healing them. It would be a hard ask to meticulously torture all of the zombies— Atsushi’s not quite sure their nerve endings even work well enough to appreciate it. 

Instead, their task is likely to corral all the zombies into a large clearing, cause some damage to them all— probably with low-power explosives, either Kajii’s or Kunikida’s, the former only likely because of the fact the Port Mafia is definitely already working on this case— and have Yosano use Thou Shalt Not Die then. Kenji is especially good for this because of his experience with herding animals, and Atsushi himself has predator-animal instincts that suit him to this task as well. They will probably coordinate in separate teams to accomplish the herding goal with Yosano waiting at one of the empty warehouses by the port, while Dazai works separately (probably with Ranpo’s help, but Atsushi doesn’t have a grasp on the relationship between the two of them) to find the original ability user. 

As Ranpo goes on to help Kunikida and the President explain exactly this, Atsushi sighs. Dazai, who is sitting to the right of him, rolls his chair over and nudges him with his elbow. Not to say anything, but to make Atsushi look at him.

There’s a self-satisfied look in Dazai’s eyes that doesn’t do anything to comfort Atsushi, even though Dazai’s smile is all warm pride. Whatever Dazai’s been training him for— the strategy, the deductive reasoning, the desensitization towards violence and murder, the manipulation and other social skills— he’s, if not there yet, pretty close to complete. 

It reminds him of the toast on the boat. The layers in it. To the Stray Dogs. Atsushi wonders if maybe he was the person then that he is now, he would have figured out what it was all about. 

Dazai himself is a black hole to most people, his intentions and machinations beyond comprehension. But as Atsushi was being made by him, learning him was inevitable. 

Whatever Dazai really is, Atsushi will know soon. Atsushi smiles back, and Dazai blinks twice quickly, like someone clapped their hands in front of his face. Like he didn’t expect that at all. 

The President clears his throat. At the front of the room, only Ranpo is looking at the two of them, Kunikida and the President ignoring them in a way that is scolding rather than allowing. Ranpo’s gaze, Atsushi can’t decipher. The President continues: “The herding team will split into two groups; Kenji and Kyouka; Tanizaki and Atsushi. Ranpo, Haruno, and Naomi will be directing you over a communications line from here at the Agency. Kunikida will go with Dazai to find the Ability user, again keeping a line with Ranpo. I will accompany Yosano to the herding destination.”

Atsushi looks at Kyouka first in brief bewilderment—he’s a little bummed and also surprised to not be working with his usual partner, but her and Kenji have been getting closer recently— and then meets Tanizaki’s eyes and nods. Though they don’t actually hang out often, they’re the closest in age to each other of the Agency members. They’re friends and they trust each other. They’re in this. 

 

Atsushi and Tanizaki are instructed to come in from the left flank. It is a lot farther away, but the distance is easily traversed by Atsushi’s ability. 

“Ah. Uh, I guess you’re carrying me?” Tanizaki shuffles awkwardly, the sleeves of his waist-tied hoodie swinging with the movement.

“I mean, do you have a better way?”

“No! I mean, I just… like can I choose how? Please?”

Atsushi does usually prefer to just potato-sack people, but he supposes everyone has the right to decide what is done to their bodies, so he shrugs. “How do you want me?”

“Don’t say it like that!” Tanizaki blushes. “And, uh, doggy style. Hands and knees, please.”

Atsushi’s face contorts into this wrinkled, appalled, jaw-dropped expression, but Tanizaki just shoos at Atsushi and in his shock he does as he’s told. He activated his ability, gets on his hands and knees, and allows Tanizaki to climb aboard before taking off. Jesus. And it’s not even nine.

They make it to their starting point, the widest edge of the ability’s projected range at this time, but need to wait until Kenji and Kyouka are ready to actually start. It needs to be simultaneous or else it cannot work at all. 

They stand on top of a building, watching the rumbling mass of people beneath them, and don’t look too hard at anything at all. 

Atsushi realizes he is alone except for the company of his peers. Tanizaki (next to him), Naomi (on comms), and Haruno (on comms) were senior to him in respect for time spent at the Agency, but of a similar enough age with him that the gap was easily bridged. This all to say that at Atsushi’s current position in the ADA, he has finally earned enough camaraderie and respect to shit talk about his seniors with impunity. “So… Ranpo and Poe are dating now?”

“Are they? I mean, how should I know, but Ranpo was being kind of a dick. Wasn’t he?” Tanizaki quickly takes the bait and runs with it. “Like, all love and respect to Ranpo. Always love and respect to Ranpo, but Poe was clearly going through it and Ranpo was just talking about his ass.”

“Wait, what? I missed that.”

“Really? It was when—“

“It was when he told Poe to buy the pants you have, ‘cause it’s apparently doing wonders. Borderline harassment probably, but whatever.” Naomi’s voice filters in over the comms. “Speaking of, who got those for you? C’mon, you can tell me.”

“Yeah, you can tell us,” Haruno says over the same line. “Pretty please?”

“Um. It’s kinda new,” Atsushi says like that’s even remotely the problem. “Besides, I don’t really know if we’re super dating. It’s kinda unclear. I don’t know what we’re calling it.”

“So a sugar daddy type?” Naomi guesses, but doesn’t wait for confirmation. “On this salary, I get it. Sometimes I wonder if a rich man will come and steal my brother away!”

“Never,” Tanizaki quickly affirms in that creepy way he always does. “Also we would share the money.”

“Oh, bet.”

“But, Atsushi,” Tanizaki turns to him with narrowed eyes, concerned like the actual living zombies could not seem to make them. “That kind of relationship can be really dangerous. I know you personally can have a certain amount of lenience towards your health, but you really have to consider your safety and emotional well-being.”

Atsushi blinks, head moving back in response to the abrupt force of this unexpected care. He figures it’s probably something that Tanizaki, as an overprotective older brother, has a lot of pre-formed strong opinions about. 

“Ah, he said no. Like, it’s not a sugar daddy thing. He actually called me a rescue animal, when I asked.”

“Oh, so you’re a furry?” Tanizaki gathered. “Huh. Guess that makes sense, not like you really have a choice in the matter.”

“What the hell is a furry?” Atsushi asks, but Haruno’s excited shriek over the comms promises to tell him.

“I’ll show you my fursona later though,” she says after a few minutes of dropping rapid-fire, horrifically enlightening information about just how much she likes cats. “I think something might be wrong with the Kyouka-Kenji group, cuz they haven’t checked in at all. Also, the zombies have learned how to climb.”

“What?” Atsushi asks, and then promptly feels a bite on his arm. Ah, shit.

[raaorqtpbpdy]

Why Do Scientists Wear Sensible Shoes?

For the Phic Phight prompt: Four years in the hospital, abandoned and in agony as his body slowly transformed, taught Vlad that ghostly purring only meant pain and suffering of the worst kind and an unhappy life did little to debase him of that notion. So when his newly emerged clone starts happy purring at him, Vlad promptly freaks the fuck out trying to figure out what's wrong with them— inadvertently teaching the clone that more purring means more attention from daddy. (from @reading-wanderer)

AO3 Link

[Warnings for dubious science, unstable clones, and major character death]

The last of Vlad's family, his mother, had died when he was seventeen, leaving him completely on his own when he went off to college. After the proto-portal accident, even his friends, Jack and Maddie, abandoned him. They left him to die, slowly, in agony, and unbearably alone, of horrible ecto-acne that slowly transformed his body, infected his blood, corrupted his soul, over the course of four years.

It was during those four years that he discovered ghostly purring, discovered that it meant only pain, the worst kind of suffering imaginable. It was supposed to self-soothe, to encourage healing, he determined. It wasn't a sound ghosts made when they were happy. And the unhappy life that followed his transformation did little to debase that notion.

He tried not to think about it much, but he did wonder, as he attempted to create a clone of another half-ghost like him, if he was bringing them into the world only to force them through the same suffering he experienced. Vlad shook his head and squared his shoulders. The anguish had come, not in simply being a half-ghost, but in dying slowly to become one.

A long beep sounded, and he hit the release button on the cloning chamber, now that the process was complete. This was his eleventh attempt. Attempts one through eight had dissolved into ectoplasm immediately upon release from their cloning chambers. Attempt nine had survived, but only the skeleton. Everything else had melted right off, and Vlad had immediately thrown a sheet over the thing to avoid having to look at it's grotesque, black bones. The sheet remained, and the only surviving clone thus far was in the observation room for study.

Attempt ten had survived longer than the first eight, but had been malformed and dissolved into ectoplasm after stubbing its toe. Hopefully, attempt eleven would fare better.

Vlad sighed with disappointment when the mist from the chamber dispersed and the eleventh clone was visible. Another for the observation room, he supposed. He'd tried adding some stable human DNA to the mix, taken from Maddie, as well as experimenting with the force-growth process. It looked stable enough, but this one was too human and not human enough, with Maddie's auburn hair and glowing green eyes, and looked about seven years old when it should have looked fourteen.

"Can you switch between forms?" Vlad asked the clone.

"I dunno," the child clone said. It squeezed its eyes shut, clenched its small fists, and tried to shift forms. Nothing happened. "Guess not. Who're you? Who'm I? What is this place?"

"I am Vlad Masters," Vlad introduced. "This is my lab, and you are a clone I created."

"A clone?" Its wide, round eyes blinked owlishly at him. "Is that my name?"

"You don't have a name."

"Why?"

"Because I can't be bothered to name every clone that steps out of that chamber."

"Why?"

"Because there's a fairly high chance you'll destabilize anyway, and you're an imperfect copy, and I don't want to get attached."

"Why?"

"Because I've experienced far too much disappointment already."

"Why?"

"Well to start with, the woman I love married a man I despise and the only other person in the world who's like me hates my guts."

"Why?"

"I may have tried to kidnap him once or twice, and kill his father... perhaps his hatred isn't so unwarranted, but it still hurts."

"Why?"

"Because—oh, wait, I see what you're doing!" Vlad exclaimed. He growled and scooped the clone up by the back of its jumpsuit and cradled it in his arms as he carried it off. "I'm taking you to the observation room." The clone giggled, and then Vlad stilled in horror as he heard a sound he hoped never to hear again. It was purring, a low rumbling in its core.

Panicked, Vlad changed direction, laying the clone on the examination table and grabbing a stethoscope.

"Whatcha doin'?" asked the clone.

"Quiet now," Vlad demanded, placing the stethoscope against the clone's chest. The purring had quieted, which was good. There was no heartbeat, unexpected, but not out of the realm of possibility. The child was part ghost after all, even if it was a little more human than it was supposed to be. Its core thrummed, strong and steady, so it should be able to fulfill the missing heart's functions just as well. "Breathe deeply." The clone complied. Its lungs seemed to be in excellent condition, so it wasn't that. "Are you in pain?"

"No."

Vlad sighed in relief, and without even thinking, he hugged the clone gently, stroking its auburn hair. He'd been so afraid that he'd inflicted the worst pain of his life on a creature that hadn't asked to be created in the first place. Thank the Ancients he hadn't. Or so he thought. Then he heard it again. That deep rumbling that filled Vlad with dread. Whatever the clone said, there was clearly something wrong.

Vlad pulled back and continued his examination. "Let me take your blood pressure. Look into this light. Turn your head and cough. Does it hurt when I do this?" The clone giggled. That horrible purring grew louder.

"Tickles!" 

So far, Vlad had found nothing wrong. The bones were all properly aligned, the organs the child had functioned properly. He was breathing, eating, drinking, and sleeping just fine. Every time Vlad started to consider giving up, the purring grew stronger, and he redoubled his efforts. He had to find what was causing this child's suffering and fix it.

"Can I be named Vlad two?"

"No," Vlad refused. He was taking a blood sample to run some more tests. His working theory was that the lack of heart was causing the boy distress, even though his core, small though it was, should have been able to effectively take its place. "It would be confusing if we were both named Vlad."

"No, you're Vlad, and I'm Vlad two!" The boy corrected. "Like the number two. It's a totally different name."

"When a child is named after their parent, they are a junior, not a two," Vlad told him, focused on the task at hand.

"Can I be named Junior, then?" asked the boy.

"Fine, whatever!" Vlad snapped, taking the vials of ectoplasm-tainted blood to the next room to perform tests on. It was only as he placed a vial in the centrifuge that he realized what he'd done. "Oh kettle corn!" he shouted. "Now I've gone and done it! How could I let that brat have a name?" He threw an empty beaker at the wall in frustration and it shattered, but calmed down quickly after that.

It was too late now. He'd gone and gotten attached. He was already doing everything he could to spare Junior from the agony he himself had gone through. The only difference was that it felt more personal now. He had to take care of the boy. He couldn't let Junior dissolve like the others had, and definitely not while he was in pain. The others hadn't felt a thing, but Junior... he was purring.

Vlad got back to work.

Still, he found nothing. But Junior's hands got sticky like clay that hadn't fully dried. He left traces of green ooze, like a snail trail on the examination table. His hair started to float around his head, getting misty around the edges. He continued to purr. Not constantly, but as soon as he saw Vlad the purring started up again.

Clones twelve and thirteen had both dissolved within hours of their creation. Vlad didn't care about them. The cloning programs continued in the background. He'd make changes to the programs, initiate the process, wait until the clone was done. When it failed, he would rinse and repeat. He was more concerned with figuring out what was wrong with Junior.

He seemed like a perfectly cheerful kid. He laughed, smiled, played the 'why' game, and made up jokes. He even got up and danced around when he needed a break from sitting on the examination table.

"Hey, Daddy, what do you call a vampire without teeth?" Junior asked while Vlad was reviewing his notes.

"What?" Vlad asked absently.

Junior curled his lips over his teeth and said, "A wampiwa!" Vlad snorted, and shook his head and the boy cheered victoriously.

His body had been becoming slowly more spectral. Blood tests showed the ectoplasm concentration in his blood was steadily increasing. When Vlad stroked his hair now, his hand went right through the ends. His pale skin had become mildly bioluminescent, though it was only visible when the lights went out.

It seemed a core with no heartbeat meant that his ghostly qualities were consuming his humanity. If Vlad couldn't stop the process, or at least slow it down to a rate that would allow Junior to safely transition into becoming a full ghost, he would surely destabilize and dissolve, just like the others. Vlad's heart ached thinking about how much pain the boy must be in.

"What do you call a goose with no teeth?" Junior asked, and Vlad smiled a bittersweet smile at him. Despite the jokes, he could hear the boy's loud purring several feet away.

"What do you call a goose with no teeth?"

"A goose!" Junior said, grinning brightly. "Gooses don't have teeth!"

"The plural is geese, and they do have teeth, actually," Vlad corrected. "In fact, geese have teeth on their tongues."

"Really?" Vlad nodded. "Cool!"

"Are you in pain, Junior?" Vlad asked the same question every day, often several times.

"Nope!" Junior always denied that he was. He was brave, but Vlad knew better.

Clone fourteen dissolved within minutes, an issue with the force growth process, corrected. Clone fifteen survived, but was malformed and overgrown. It was taken to the observation room. The cloning parameters were adjusted again. Clone sixteen was malformed in a similar but less exaggerated manner, but lasted only twelve hours before dissolving in the observation room. Junior's skin had taken on a deathly pallor. He purred loudly when Vlad entered the examination room.

"Are you in pain, Junior?"

"No, Daddy," the boy said, but his smile wasn't as bright as usual. "Do you wanna play a game?"

"Sure, Junior," Vlad agreed. "We can play while I run today's test. What game?"

"I'm gonna pick something in the room, and you can ask ten questions to figure out what it is!"

"Isn't this game supposed to be twenty questions?" Vlad asked.

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"The game is twenty questions. One person picks an object or creature, and the others get twenty questions to figure out what it is. My friends and I played it in college."

"How could you played it in college when I just made it up?" Junior asked, cocking his head. 

"Oh, I see." Of course Junior didn't know anything he hadn't learned inside this lab. Similar as the game may have been to twenty questions, he had come up with it on his own. "You invented it independently, but another game already exists which is very similar."

"Well, we're gonna play my version!" Junior insisted. "So you only get ten questions."

"Very well. Is it bigger than a bread box?"

"What's a bread box?"

"It's a box for holding bread." Vlad held out his hands toward Junior, indicating the general size of a bread box. "About this big."

"Oh. Then no, it's not bigger."

"Is it animal, mineral, or vegetable?"

"Uh... mineral I think," Junior said, frowning in thought. "What are beakers made of?"

"Glass."

"Is that a mineral?"

"Yes."

"Then it's a mineral."

"Is it a beaker?" Vlad asked, Junior gasped, his eyes widening in amazement.

"Yeah, it is!" he said. "Wow, you guessed that so quickly! You're really good at this game!"

"It's a gift," Vlad said lightly. He flicked the light off to see the progression of Junior's glow. It had grown increasingly brighter, just since the previous day. It seemed Vlad's, or rather Junior's, deadline was closer than he'd thought.

"It's your turn now! You pick something in the room, and I have to guess it in ten questions!"

"Alright," Vlad flicked the lights back on and looked around, but his eyes landed back on Junior, and he couldn't think of anything else. "Go ahead."

"Is it bigger than this?" Junior held out his arms as wide as they could go.

"Yes." Vlad grabbed his stethoscope and put it against Junior's back to listen to his lungs. "Quiet now, breathe deep." Under the purring and the pulsing of his core, Vlad could hear Junior's breathing hitch in a way it hadn't before. That wasn't good. His stethoscope came away with a green residue on it. "Alright, what's your next question?"

"Is it more soft or more hard?"

"More soft," Vlad answered.

"Is it the cushion on the exam table?"

"No."

"Is it... your lab coat?"

"No."

"What color is it?"

"Lots of different colors."

"Is it the quilt in the cupboard?"

"No."

"Is it your chemistry lab coat? The one with all the funky stains on it?" Vlad laughed once.

"No."

"Hmm..." Junior looked stumped. "Is it... alive?"

"Sort of," Vlad looked at the results from the tests he'd run the day before and frowned. "For now."

"Is it you?"

"No, and that makes nine," Vlad said. "Think carefully, Junior. You only have one question left." 

"Is it me?"

"Yes, it is," Vlad confirmed. "Now, tell me the truth, Junior. Are you in pain?" This time, Junior didn't answer aloud, just shook his head.

"It's my turn to pick!" he said next, and looked around the room. "Okay, I got it! You can ask your questions now."

The seventeenth clone was discolored, and dissolved after twenty-four hours. A glitch in the force growth process resulted in eighteen being approximately six inches tall, but it survived, mostly. Observation indicated that none of the other surviving clones had anything approaching Junior's mental capacity, likely the lack of stable DNA.

Vlad altered the cloning parameters, this time combining Daniel's DNA sample with some of his own. The 'Y' chromosome was damaged, so the clone turned out female, but she was more stable and more cognizant than the others, and quickly dubbed herself Danielle, after her primary DNA donor. Closer. Much closer. But still a failure.

Junior was growing less and less stable with each passing hour.

Vlad had tried everything he could, but it hadn't been enough. Nothing had worked. Junior started to lose his motor functions. His sense of smell went next.

"I'm scared," he admitted to Vlad when his vision started to fade and he was groping around in the dark for his father. Vlad walked over to him, hugged him very, very gently. Even the slightest pressure caused Junior to liquefy, but he couldn't let the boy be alone.

"Are you in pain?" Vlad asked.

"Yes," said the boy. Tears welled up in his brightly glowing eyes and streamed down his cheeks. I wasn't before, but I am now. It hurts, and I'm scared."

"It's alright. I'm with you," Vlad said, though his own eyes were starting to sting and a lump formed in his throat. He stroked Junior's hair with a feather-light touch. "I'm sorry this is happening to you."

"I can't stop purring anymore," the boy choked out. "I did it on purpose before, but I can't stop anymore."

"Why would you do it on purpose?" Vlad asked, trying to keep his voice steady. Junior couldn't see his tears, couldn't see on his face how terrified he was. Junior could only hear and feel, and Vlad would be damned to the furthest corners of the Ghost Zone before he let his child know how terrified Vlad was in his final moments. He deserved comfort, not fear.

"Not the first time," Junior explained, his voice hitching as he cried into Vlad's chest, ectoplasmic tears no doubt staining Vlad's best lab coat. "I was just happy. It felt nice when you held me, and it just happened."

"You were happy?" Vlad asked, confused. "Ghosts purr when they're in pain. They purr to try to heal themselves, to self-soothe. Why would you purr when you were happy?"

"It just happened," Junior repeated. "And your reaction was so funny. Then, the more I purred, the more attention you gave me, so I kept purring. Then I started to feel weird, and I hurt, and the purring wouldn't stop anymore. I just wanted to spend time with you, Daddy." Vlad couldn't catch the tears before they dripped onto Junior's head and fizzled on his scalp as beads of ectoplasm welled up where they landed. Vlad winced at the sight and dried his eyes with his sleeve"Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" Vlad asked. He forced himself to take a deep breath. "I'm fine, Junior. You're the one destabilizing."

"It's okay, Daddy. Don't cry," Junior comforted him, and wasn't that backwards. Vlad shouldn't be the one being comforted by his dying son. "I got to spend my whole life with you. And we... we had fun, didn't we?"

"Yes, Junior," Vlad agreed. His boy didn't need to know that Vlad had spent the duration of his life worrying about him, not now of all times. "We had great fun."

"Hey, Daddy?" Junior asked, and Vlad hummed in response. "Why do scientists wear practical shoes?"

"Ha," Vlad laughed once, weakly. "Why?"

"So they don't get Bunsens," Junior said, and giggled, just as weakly. "Get it? 'Cause it sounds like bunions?" Vlad allowed the boy a chuckle.

"Yes, I get it," he said, even as the boy's body continued to dissolve, he was still making jokes. "It's very funny."

"Daddy?" Junior called out, but whatever he was about to say, he never got the chance. He destabilized completely in Vlad's arms, and the man was kneeling of a puddle of ectoplasm that had once been his beloved son.

He cried out in anguish.

He wailed and wept. 

A rumbling purr rose in his chest.

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Sunlight (Hozier)

All the tales the same/Told before and told again/A soul that's born in cold and rain/Knows sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/And at last can grant a name/To a buried and a burning flame/As love and its decisive pain/Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight

But whose heart would not take flight/Betray the moon as acolyte/On first and fierce affirming sight of/Sunlight, sunlight, sunlight/I had been lost to you, sunlight/And flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight/Oh, your love is sunlight

"I come down with the shivers and start hyperventilating when i hear this song and it makes me want to go outside which is the scariest part"

"I'm not gonna go full infodump here but this song is Peak Vash and Nicholas D. Wolfwood from Trigun-- specifically Nick's feelings towards Vash. Vash's (literal) evil twin brother Knives hired (read: threatened to eradicate the orphanage he kidnapped Nick from as a child if he didn't do what he was told) Nick to act as bodyguard for Vash and guide him to where Knives wants him to go so he can manipulate him for his own gain. Like, he chose the name Knives. This bitch is crazy beyond crazy but this ain't about him. Nick starts out 100% willing to guide Vash like a lamb to slaughter because he HAS to for the orphanage, and this is just some random guy he doesn't know or care about. But then he gets to know Vash, how good of a person he is despite the shit the world (and Knives) has put him through. How he'd rather risk his own life and health than kill another person because he believes he doesn't get to make that choice for people. And despite being someone who'd rather shoot first, pray for them after, Nick starts trying to wound rather than kill just because Vash doesn't like it. It puts them both at risk and he fusses and argues about it and still kills sometimes but he tries anyways. Eventually he decides that he'll do what he can to protect Vash from Knives without provoking him to destroy the orphanage. He ends up caring about him deeply against his own will to the point that his idea of Eden would be to live with Vash and their friends in a peaceful world where none of them have to fight and die. In the manga, Nick's dying request is to see Vash smile again- the genuine smile that he's complimented every time he's seen it. Vash can't give him that, because he knows Nick would see that it was a forced smile. Instead, he just sits with him until he dies. Afterwards, Vash kills willingly for the first time in his entire life (over 150 years. He's not human btw) in order to protect Nick's childhood friend Livio. He wouldn't just do that for just any friend or ally, no, that was out of love. Love so strong he could go against his own mother's teachings that all life matters and people don't get to choose when a life ends, the thing that has kept Vash pacifist all these years, to keep someone that mattered to Nick alive. So while Nick never knew that Vash cared for him the same way he did him, the fact matters that he does."

Your Body, My Temple (Will Wood)

So, when the cattle fall dead and the waters run red, I'll be your lamb's blood on the wall/God isn't dead, but that's exactly what I've been dreading after all the meek inherited fuck all/Jesus Christ, I will die for my own damn sins if you help those who help themselves/My superstitions, your visage, my visions furtherin' the fever of your fervor, for believing, I will

I'll be your blessing in disguise, whip the mask off my good side/I'm all stripped down naked for you but still asking you to loosen up my buttons, baby/You've got my whole world in your hands, got that little blue spot/And you really ain't got no idea how much this thing orbits you, now, do you honey?

"the DEDICATION, the DEVOTION to whoever you can imagine is being sung to...the imagery is so so so good 😩 it's so catchy, it gets stuck in my head every time i listen to it, the emotions are just so good...you can imagine an individual so deeply infatuated with their lover to the point of revering them as holy, to the point of death...the way the word choice just flows so smoothly is so good aughhh- its also got surprisingly good loopability, in my opinion. 10/10 i want to beam this song into my brain it makes me froth from the mouth and shiver like a rabid animal and i'll be DAMNED if i don't make an oc inspired by it eventually. all the lyrics are peak. i am getting riled up just thinking about this song, will wood is elite"

"1. I want to sing this to my Muse. (If I had one...) 2. Will Wood songs just slap. 3. I've listened to the CHnT podcast, and get *all* the references! (Pink Elephant Man starts a cult dedicated to the camp nurse) 4. I'm using this song for the antagonist of my story, who gives yandere vibes."