#no one seemed to catch that Steve morphed into his “dads” car

[sp0o0kylights]

Mimic Steve!!! at number Seven I see,,, was that, perchance, on purpose? :D

AYYYY you caught that! I'm so glad someone did lol.

I had to go hunt down what I already posted about the Mimic Steve AU lmao

It's honestly easier to read the first part here , but basically, it's an AU that centers around how the Steve we know isn't actually Steve Harrington; he's a replacement that his parents bought and paid Brenner/The Lab for.

What he actually is, is a being similar to humans with mimic-like abilities from another dimension. They kidnapped him at a young age and then later tortured him into being Steve when the real one passed away from cancer as a child.

There's a vast number of problems happening when the story starts but the biggest is that Robin and Nancy have accidentally discovered that the real Steve Harrington is dead and the house Steve lives in doesn't actually belong to the Harrington's.

In a panic-ridden attempt to prevent them from discovering he's a monster from an alternate dimension whose stuck, Steve taps Eddie for help on grounds that he has romantic feelings for Eddie and already thinks he doesn't deserve to be loved in return. I he loses Eddie as a friend over this then well-- chances were that was gonna happen anyways because he sucks at hiding that he's in love--but he can't lose Robin.

In his head, that means Robin can't learn that he's not human

Snippet:

“Sweetheart, you are Steve.”

He frantically shook his head. “No, I’m not. I’m a copy of Steve, one they forced so hard that it--it overwrote the real me. I don’t know who I actually am, Eddie.” 

Besides a fucking monster, from somewhere else. 

(At his lowest, in the dark of the house in the middle of the night, Steve turned himself back into his base form. 

The thing he was--or at least thought he was--before he’d been kidnapped. 

Stared at himself in the mirror and felt only terror, because he didn’t recognize himself. )

Eddie stepped up, gently took one of Steve’s hands. 

Threaded their fingers together. 

“Okay.” He said, eyes searching Steve’s own. “What can I do to help you find yourself?” 

Steve stared back. 

“I haven’t--I never…” He trailed off faintly, all thoughts of who he had been and who he was impersonating vanishing in the face of his reality. 

That Steve’s life had been so preoccupied with keeping himself safe by living within a lie, he never actually spent any time trying to figure out who he was. 

Eddie seemed to realize this, and nodded once as if Steve’s expression was an answer in and of itself. “It’s okay. I mean it. It’s a big thing, and it’ll take you some time, but I’ll be there with you if you want me to be.” 

Steve sniffed.

“Even if I turn into a car again?” 

Eddie laughed softly. ‘Yeah Sunlight. Even if you scare the shit out of me by turning into a car again.” 

“They’re emergency purposes only.” Steve said--and he meant it. 

(The fear of getting stuck as something non-human had terrified him so badly the car incident had left him puking up his guts for two days after, nerves shot.) 

“Now about changing into that courthouse clerk…”

[florianniss]

Trouble with Angels

It works. They believe him. Makes his dad’s lame ass excuse of working late instead of going to his game and his mom’s sudden migraine totally worth it.

Steve gets into the car on Saturday morning and drives to town. He walks into the video rental place feeling confident he’s going to nail it. He does, of course, and the manager gets him set on the schedule working weekends.

It sucks kinda, because he’s losing his only free days. But, like Robin said, at least he isn’t stuck at home with his parents.

Steve notices the initials ‘RB’ on most of the weekends he’s assigned to, which he sincerely hopes means he’ll be working with her. He knows shit about movies, never has time to go to the theater. He’s always at practice, or a game, or –

That’s when he’s slammed sideways with a scathingly brilliant idea, one Hayley Mills would be proud of.

He hasn’t thought it through, not really. But he’s here now and there’s no going back, because he’s made his decision. The parking lot is full, providing good cover as Steve plots the best way to break in.

Kids come and go through two entrances, the front, and the side. The doors don’t seem to be locked, which is a good thing. All he has to do it just pretend he lives there and –

Someone comes out, alone, and Steve has this moment of absolute kismet as he recognizes who it is.

“Dustin!” he calls out, plan tucked safely under his arm, heart pounding wildly in his chest.

The seventh grader looks over as Steve strides across the lot, breaks into the biggest shit-eating grin, and opens his arms wide.

“Hair-ington,” and Steve just knows how he’s spelling it. They do their fist bump, baseball bat greeting, and then Dustin hugs the literal stuffing out of him,

“How are you, buddy?” Steve wheezes, thinking the kid has grown in both height and strength.

“Better now that you’ve stopped being a dickhead.”

Steve steps back, nods his head in agreement. “Yeah, I know. I just haven’t had time to say hi yet.”

“Whatever,” and Dustin is already over it. “Man, that was a good game, huh? I didn’t see the whole thing, but I heard all about it!”

Steve thinks Dustin hasn’t changed much after all from that kid he used to babysit during the summer. He kinda misses his nerdy jokes and brainy games. But there’s no time for that; Steve is on a mission.

“Hey, can you get me inside? There’s someone I need to –” What does Steve need to do, really?

“What?” Dustin laughs. “Get you inside? Dude, the doors aren’t guarded by some Sentinel of Doom. Just go in.”

Steve blinks and wonders if maybe Eddie was telling him a tale, and then reality sinks its fist into his gut. They’re only not allowing Eddie visitors.

“Cool,” Steve says, covering it up with a smile. “Can you do me a favor and show me where Eddie Munson’s room is?”

Dustin’s face morphs from one of surprised happiness to utter awe. “You know Eddie Munson? ”

“Uh, yeah?”

Dustin tackles him with yet another hug. “Can you get me his autograph?”

Steve’s this close to losing it, laughing and making the kid who worships him feel like garbage. But he drops the videos and both spill out of their protective cases onto the sidewalk.

“Hey!” Dustin shouts, like a hamster on a wheel, and changes the subject. “I wanted to see Space Camp! But my mom wouldn’t let us go to anything PG this summer.”

Steve just picked whatever off the shelf, hadn’t even paid attention. He looks at the rating on the other movie and gets this spine-tingling idea.

He takes the case and hands the other one over; it’s rated PG-13. “Here. Use this to hide it. Don’t let them catch you watching it, though. I need that back on Monday morning, or I’ll lose the job I just got at the Video store. You hear me?”

Dustin takes it like he’s being handed the Holy Grail. “Thanks! I will, I promise.”

Steve follows him inside the unlocked side entrance and feels his knees go a little funny, exciting. All this breaking the law is strangely exhilarating.

Dustin stops outside a closed door and presses his ear to it. “He’s definitely in there. Thanks for the movie! See you later.” And he turns and hauls ass, presumably to his room where he’ll be hunkering down to revel in his treasure.

Steve takes a deep breath and prepares to knock, but the music coming from inside is loud and he wonders if Eddie will even hear it.

He turns the knob and slowly opens the door.

Eddie’s there, all right, seated at the edge of a bed with his head hanging low. He’s wearing a ball cap with headphones on top, listening to something pretty heavy, as loud as it will go. There’s no indication he even notices Steve entering, but Steve sees there’s something wrong. And he doesn’t want to startle his friend.

With the door closed, Steve steals inside and sits cross-legged on the floor before Eddie. He’s rocking back and forth, drumming his fingers against his thighs. Like he’s trying to get lost in the music, like he’s trying to forget.

He notices Steve and stands with a jerk, tossing his headphones and Walkman onto the bed behind him, a look of horror on his face.

“What are you doing here?” he shouts, upset. Steve scrambles to his feet and regrets his life choices for a split second, until he realizes Eddie is hurting.

“Came to see you, dumbass. You didn’t show at the dance, and I was worried.”

The terror and pain completely deflate and Eddie bows his head. “Oh.”

Steve feels awkward now that he’s here. Eddie’s response to his surprise doesn’t feel right.

“I — I brought you —“

And that’s when Steve sees it, really sees it. “Oh, my god. The bastards did it!”

His hair. They cut his fucking hair. His beautiful, luxurious long hair.

Eddie pulls the cap low over his eyes and shrugs. “‘S no big deal.”

But Steve knows it is, rips the hat off Eddie’s head and feels eruptive anger building inside. “What the fuck, dude?”

It’s all one length to his chin, like they just took the knot at the back and chopped it off.

Eddie tries to take the hat back, but Steve won’t let him.  He’s pissed. “Fucking bastards!”

Eddie looks up and his eyes are — what are they? Not sad, definitely not angry. They’re meek and shy and, god damn, it’s Bambi standing in front of him.

Steve melts and all the disgust and hatred for the people who did this does too. He takes a deep breath and feels like the world’s biggest cad. “I – it’s not that bad.”

“Fuck you,” Eddie spits, without anger. The sides of his hair hide his face, almost the same length now as his bangs.

Something inside Steve hurts. “No, really. It just needs a little product.”

Eddie snorts. “And what, you can fix it?”

Steve gets another one of those twinges of regret, and he knows precisely what to do. “Sure do. You got anything?”

Eddie looks at him like he’s lost his fucking marbles, and then he realizes Steve isn’t playing around. “Serious?”

Steve nods fervently, looks around the bareness of the room. Sees the closet, slightly open, clothes spilling out. The dresser is in the same condition, heaped high with Eddie’s various jean jackets. There isn’t any bathroom, but there’s a towel slung over the only chair at a desk that clearly isn’t used for studying.

“Here,” Steve says, snatching the towel and slapping it around Eddie’s shoulders. “Go wash.”

Eddie blinks exactly like a deer in the headlights, and Steve pushes him toward the door. “Go.”

His friend moves hesitantly, looking back over his shoulder and gladly taking the cap as Steve hands it back. He moves slowly down the hallway, presumably to the showers, and Steve returns to the room to sit on the bed where Eddie had been.

The room is trashed, and not just in the usual way. It’s as if someone purposefully dumped everything out and threw it against the wall. Steve imagines Eddie, in a fit of rage over his haircut, taking it out on inanimate objects, and it makes him angry too.

Then he thinks of Eddie sitting in this very spot, consoling himself with music. Hiding from the world, from Steve; the real reason he didn’t show up at the dance. And Steve feels lousy.

Eddie returns with his head wrapped in the turban towel as he had done at the beach. He closes the door and avoids Steve’s eyes.

“Product?” Steve asks, his resolve wavering now that Eddie’s standing there, looking meek.

“Yeah,” he says and opens his closet. There’s stuff hanging up, so he didn’t completely gut the joint, and as he digs in the mess and comes up with a fucking bucket, Steve feels a surge of pride.

He’s got good stuff; Prell shampoo and some fancy conditioner, Dep hair gel and fucking Aqua Net hair spray. There’s a big-toothed comb and a black pick, and those little black scrunchies that Eddie uses so religiously.

Used religiously.

Eddie sits on the floor with his back to the bed, and Steve takes the towel off to get a good look at what’s left of Eddie’s hair.

It’s curly, curlier than normal. Freshly washed, smelling clean and looking good enough to fucking eat, Steve’s stomach does a little dance as he realizes he’s going to get to finally touch Eddie’s hair.

Steve goes for the big comb and contemplates where to begin when Eddie opens his mouth and blows Steve’s mind. “Don’t be gentle. I can take it.”

There’s a moment where he whites out and remembers a porno mag he saw once at a friend’s house. A guy, his hand fisted in some chick’s long, curly blonde hair, with his massive dick in her mouth and fucking her throat with what looked like reckless abandon. Her eyes were watering and she was drooling, and –

Fuck. Steve’s gone hard with Eddie sitting between his legs.

Steve’s gentle because he can’t help it; it’s a religious experience, combing Eddie’s hair. He starts at the top by his temple, leaning forward and not caring that his shirt is getting wet. That Eddie rests his elbows on Steve’s knees. That they’re in Eddie’s room and he shouldn’t be here, and they could get in a load of trouble.

The first time the teeth catch and Eddie’s neck snaps back, Steve feels a little closer to god. “Sorry.”

“‘S’OK.”

With the tangles sorted, Steve unscrews the lid of the gel and works its stickiness between his palms. He smooths the sides back, then runs his fingers through it. He reloads the gel and does the top, and then the back, scrunching up the curls and thinking he’s died and gone to heaven.

But when Eddie’s neck goes slack and he’s practically asleep in Steve’s lap, and he can’t use any more gel or it will get too heavy, but he doesn’t want to stop –

“OK. Done. And, uh, I brought a movie,” Steve tries, finishing by smoothing the stray hairs behind Eddie’s ears, being careful not to catch the earrings he’s never fucking noticed before now. “Haven’t seen it yet.”

“Oh?” Eddie’s answer is a little delayed, like he’s drunk, like he’s fucked out on MJ and can’t be bothered to care. “Which one?”

Steve’s painfully hard inside his jeans, and he so wants Eddie to lean back a little further and press into his zipper. “Uh, Big Trouble in Little China?”

“That’s a good one,” Eddie purrs, taking in a deep breath and relaxing even more into Steve’s lap. He’s literally millimeters from touching Steve’s dick.

“W - what? You’ve seen it?”

Eddie chuckles, actually chuckles. It vibrates up his back and Steve can feel it where his knees are digging into Eddie’s ribs.

“Yeah, I mean. All summer long I snuck into the movie theater, watched from behind the curtains. I think I saw everything that was worth seeing.”

Steve’s Big Plan suddenly isn’t as great as it seemed, and as Eddie leans forward to get to his feet, there’s a blank emptiness inside his chest.

“Be right back,” he says, striding across the room and throwing the closet wide. There’s a mirror, and Eddie turns his head so Steve can see his reflection too.

Damn, he’s fucking hot. Like Ralph Macchio hot.

“Shit,” Eddie rasps, admiring Steve’s handiwork with disbelief. “Not bad.”

Steve is having a full-on sexual crisis.

Eddie rummages through the closet again and comes out with a VCR hefted against his chest, cables dangling like massive spider legs. He turns with the world’s biggest smile and Steve’s heart does this fluttery thing.

“Stole this from the RA. They’ve been looking for it for weeks, haven’t figured out where it went.” Eddie laughs softly, evilly. “Nobody without a machine in their room can watch anything.”

He sets it on the desk that isn’t being used for anything but a small TV and snakes through the cords. Steve wipes the quickly drying gel from his hands on the still-wet towel to keep from imagining things by staring at Eddie’s ass.

“You stick it in, I’ll get the door.”

If Eddie hears Steve’s squeak, he doesn’t show it. He busies himself by dragging the bookshelf that looks like someone knocked over in front of the door. And Steve realizes something else.

“There’s no lock?”

“Nope,” Eddie straightens up and makes a move to flip his hair, realizes it is no longer there, and grabs the video off the floor. He tosses it to Steve like he didn’t just reveal the saddest damn thing in the world. “Don’t trust me not to lock myself in, I guess.”

Eddie sits on the floor again facing the TV and watches Steve struggle to get the tape out of the case. He keeps his mouth shut, though, doesn’t tease Steve when he fumbles and puts it in backward, waits quietly as Steve fast-forwards over the previews.

They sit side by side propped up against the bed, Steve on the closet side so he can hide inside if anyone comes.

Steve barely watches the movie. He’s too busy watching Eddie rub his thumb over his own knee, too invested in how Eddie smells, how his voice sounds when he tells Steve, “Oh, this is a good part.”

They take a pee break halfway through. Eddie makes sure the hallway is clear, the bathroom is empty. He waits outside while Steve does his best to not touch himself; it’s painful, so painful.

But Eddie is his friend, and Steve is not fucking this thing up.

Just as predicted, the RA shows up and knocks on Eddie’s door.

“Just a second,” he shouts, slamming the ball cap on his head, backward, while Steve scrambles up on the floor. He hides in the closet, bumping his knee on the doorframe. Eddie shoves a load of clothes on top to cover him up and closes the door.

Steve holds his breath against the sharp waves of pain as whoever it is talking in a muffled voice to Eddie, praying they don’t check inside. It strikes him as funny, hiding in the closet, a space that smells entirely like Eddie, a whirlwind of a tornado of Eddie’s possessions dumped on top of him. The metaphor for his life is fucking complete.

Eddie’s smiling as he helps Steve come out of the closet.

“I think I’ve found my new favorite thing to do,” he grins, yanking off his cap and tossing it to the floor. “Wanna come by tomorrow and do it again?”

Steve allows himself to be pulled from the space, collapses back on the floor next to Eddie. They’re a little closer this time, in proximity and in friendship. And Steve knows what he’s going to be doing every weekend after work for the rest of the year.

“Just make sure you bring a movie I haven’t seen next time, OK?”

Chapter 4 on AO3

[blissfullylostinarabbithole]

Duckling Pt. 7

Pairing: AU!Teen Wolf x Reader x AU!Avengers, Derek Hale x Reader

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Peter learns why he should never, ever approach the owner of the yellow Skylark.

A/N: This one’s a short, little filler, but not to worry! The next part will probably be up by the time you finish this one!

A/N 2: Plot requester didn’t remember the name of the film this is based on, so if you recognize it, let me know!

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Nat hadn’t spoken to Brock since that game. He’d gone over to the house, actually walking up to the door, and asked to see her on a few occasions. She turned him away every time. She knew she was a hypocrite for getting as angry as she did, knowing she wouldn’t have cared had he attacked any other player on the team. It didn’t matter, though. She was actually pleased she was rid of him, much to her own surprise. More than anything, she was relieved that no one saw anything at the game. Still, she didn’t relax; she couldn’t. Not only would there be other games, but she knew it would only be a matter of time before someone ran into you. It was a small town, after all, at least compared to New York. All she could hope for was that no one recognized you when they did. 

The only bad thing about breaking up with Brock was that now she was back at square one; no boyfriend, no friends, and nothing to do. She considered pursuing something with Clint, but it seemed to her that every time they spoke, it was because she initiated it. 

Word spreads fast in school, so she knew everyone knew she had left her old group of friends behind, yet no one stepped up to try to befriend her. She thought for sure Clint would, but he didn’t. At first she thought maybe it was because he was Brock’s teammate, and it would complicate things or cause problems amongst the team, but it looked like Brock was getting the same treatment. It shocked her, as she didn’t think his usual crowd could ever do anything but worship the ground he walked on. She didn’t care, though. Brock was no longer her concern.

For the first time in a long time, Nat didn’t want distractions. She wanted something real. It hit her when she saw not only the concern of your teammates, but the concern of some of the academy’s players, too. She saw how T’Challa had commanded his players to back off when Derek beat Brock, and when Clint actually spoke to you, making sure you were ok. It made her realize just how lonely she really was.

She didn’t understand it until she saw Derek, though. He was even angrier than she was when Brock tackled you, and Clint’s words came flooding back to her.

When you see them together, you’ll know.

The relief on his face when he realized you weren’t hurt morphed into pure adoration. As he looked you over, needing to be sure you were alright, her own heart broke at having never seen that look on Brock’s, or anyone’s, face. Whatever Derek was, whatever he did or whatever facade he put up, it’s not who he was when he was with you. Meanwhile, she never dropped hers in front of anyone. No one had ever made her feel the way you seemed to make each other feel.

Now she’d seen you together, and she knew.

She never stood a chance.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

As much as Peter missed his friends and his old hangouts, he was starting to love his new home. He had a smart, beautiful girlfriend, an awesome car, and little to no city traffic to prevent him from enjoying it when the time came.

He was in the driveway again, listening to the radio in his ‘new’ Chevelle. It was about the only thing that worked in the old car, but that was the way he wanted it.  Sometimes the twins would join him, making engine sounds and pretending they were on a trip. Other times, he’d end his dates with Shuri there, talking until it was time for her to go home.

The sun had just set, and the light was quickly diminishing. Her brother was due to pick her up any minute, so they sat in the car, relishing the last few moments they had together. They were speaking animatedly about their plans for spring break, which Steve had surprised them with a trip to the southern part of the state, and invited Shuri to come along. She had squealed that she’d always wanted to go to Disneyland. 

A yellow car sped by, and Shuri pursed her lips at the gleam in Peter’s eye as he watched it shrink in the distance. He turned back to her, and his smile faltered at the worried look on her face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You don’t like the Skylark?”

She shook her head. “It’s not that.”

“Oh, well, what is it?” He could hear her mind working, trying to decide if she should say what she was thinking. “Do you know who owns it?”

“No, not really. I know her name’s Y/N Lang, and she calls it Honeybee.”

“Aww,” Peter gushed. “That’s cute. You think she’ll let me take a picture of it? My friend Ned back home would-”

“No!” Shuri interrupted, clutching tightly on his arm. “You mustn't speak to her!”

“W-why not?”

Shuri sighed, deciding it would be better to tell him what she knew, rather than risk Peter putting himself in danger. “Because of Derek Hale.”

Peter knew that name, he’d even seen the guy around town once or twice. Most people seemed to be afraid of him, from what he could tell. “What’s he got to do with anything?”

“He’s her boyfriend,” she leaned in, whispering as if it was some big secret. “Things don’t go well for people who cross their path. I’d say ‘Just ask Matt Daehler’, but...”

Peter’s brows knit in confusion. “Who’s that?”

“A boy who was found drowned in a creek last year. A shallow creek. My cousin said it happened just days after he spoke to her. Derek was the prime suspect.”

Peter visibly paled, swallowing hard at the information she’d given him. “But, there wasn’t any evidence, was there? Since he’s free right now. Why did they think it was him?”

“Look, we don’t even know Derek. My cousin thinks all the rumors are true, but my brother’s not so sure.” She hesitated again, but she quickly relaxed, resigning herself to just getting it all out there. He’d hear everything eventually, it might as well be now. “His family died in a fire a few years ago. Only three people survived: him, one of his sisters, and an uncle who said it was a miracle he was able to get out. Then, two years ago, his sister was killed. Had their uncle been trapped in the house, the only surviving member would be Derek.”

“Wait, so people think he killed his own family?”

“That’s the rumor,” she said. “It’s not just family, but girlfriends, too! Before his sister, his girlfriend was found in the woods. Then it was an ex last year. Throat ripped right open. Then when Matt died, and people started saying he was seen talking to Derek’s current girlfriend…”

“They assumed he did it.”

A loud knock on Shuri’s window startled them, making them both scream. They could hear T’Challa laughing, and they climbed out of the car just as Bucky ran out the front door, clutching a large hunting knife in his hand. 

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

There weren’t many times you were seriously angry at your sister, but this was one of them. You’d all been ready to go, and were only waiting on your dad to double check the back door was locked before leaving, when Cassie spilled juice all over herself.

Now your dad had to get Cassie cleaned up and changed. You’d offered to do it, but he already had her halfway up the stairs and told you to sit tight. You swallowed thickly, turning back toward the living room.

Hope smiled at you, but you could see it didn’t reach her eyes. You offered your own strained one in return before taking a seat on the couch across from her.

“So,” she began awkwardly, “will Derek be joining us tonight?”

“Oh, um, no. He has… other things to take care of.”

She nodded in understanding, only letting silence linger for a moment. “Everything’s going well at the garage?”

“Yeah, he’s… he’s good.”

“That’s good. And you? Are you happy at Argent’s?”

“Can’t complain.” You hadn’t noticed when your knee began to bounce, so you pulled your legs up and sat cross legged instead. 

“I hear your team made the semi-finals. Excited?”

The minutes dragged, and though you resolved to try to make things less awkward with Hope, it didn’t seem like it was any different than before. You suffered through small talk, silently begging your dad to hurry up and get down there already.

It felt like hours had passed by the time they descended the stairs, finally ready to begin your ‘family’ outing. They were a regular occurrence, but it was the first one Hope attended.

It wasn’t too bad, once it was the four of you again. You pretty much just focused on Cassie, keeping interactions with your dad and Hope to a minimum. It was easy enough to do, and easy enough to not let negative thoughts creep to the forefront of your mind. At least, it was until you fell a bit behind, and noticed how sweet the three of them looked together. 

They held Cassie up, swinging her between them as she laughed. You tried to be grateful that Hope seemed to genuinely care about them, but you couldn’t help the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach that made you question if there was room in that picture for you.

Your father’s laughter pulled you from your thoughts. As you picked up the pace to catch up, you realized it didn’t matter whether or not you fit in. You only had a little more than two years of school left. After that, you’d be off to college, or moving in with Derek, and you wouldn’t have to feel like the odd one out anymore.

Permanent -  @melconnor2007 @ria132love @psychicwitchphilosopher @sireennotsiren @silence–in–the–library @thefridgeismybestie @hymnofthevalkyrie @abbybills22 @mvasquez492 @ek823 @nicky10876 @sophiealiice @madeof-ink @dugan365 @magnitude101999 @way-ward-whale @i-am-the-fandom-warrior @seabasstiantrash @eden-the-human-garden

Duckling - @lgkoval@charmed-1998 @broco8 @sailor-earth-1 @sincerely-kizzy 

If I missed you, let me know!

[savannahsdrabbles]

Ocean Song - Part Seven

rating: PG summary: Marine biology student April O’Neil makes a startling discovery.

notes: 2.1k words - this chapter is a bit shorter, partially because I felt bad not updating and wanted to get something out there to prove that I’m still writing this fic. <3 Thank you to anyone who has stuck around and is keeping up with it! A03 link can be found here. Also thank you to @rusty-wayfarer and @starfiretheninja for beta-reading. <3 We’re almost done!

For a brief moment, all four tires left the ground and the terrified trio found themselves suspended in the air.

April watched out of the corner of her eye as Casey’s furrowed face slowly morphed into a more excited expression, his eyes widening and mouth rounding to let out an adrenaline-fueled whoop.

The turtle in the backseat had finally managed to dig his claws into the ripped upholstery and was clinging desperately even as the rest of his body began to lift off of the seat. Based on the panicked squeals emanating from his beak, defying gravity was a new sensation to him and one he was not particularly thrilled about.

A steep, tree-covered cliffside rose before them almost in slow motion, and April dug her fingernails into the worn armrests as the Jeep began to tilt and angle downwards. The scientific portion of her brain snapped into action, quickly assessing the situation. Based on their trajectory they shouldn’t flip, but it was still going to hurt. She squeezed her eyes shut again. Maybe if she didn’t look, that would help.

Then time began to tick again.

Tires met gravel with a cacophonic chorus of scraping metal and screaming voices. The bottom of the car’s frame skipped once across the earth, nearly tearing off the bumper as the car continued to barrel towards a thick grove of pine trees.

“CASEY – ”

“AAAAAA!”

Illuminated vegetation began to whiz past their headlights in bursts, quickly disappearing into the darkness behind them as Casey jerked the steering wheel from side to side. Years of playing hockey had evidently gifted him with quick reflexes, seeing as he was able to weave the vehicle between several trees before she could even process what was happening.

Heedless to the thumping windshield wiper blades, piles of green needles began to gather along the bottom of the glass as branch after branch slapped against their car. April bit her lip, wondering just how far this tree grove could go and then praying that it wouldn’t end with them flying over the edge of another, steeper cliff. At least the van had looked even less prepared to go surfing through the forest – as if that were something people normally prepped for. Speaking of which… She glanced in the wobbling rearview mirror, scanning the row of green behind them for any sign of pursuit, and then gave the smallest sigh of relief. At least for now, it looked like they were alone on this cliffside adventure.

Before she could even think to verbalize this discovery, Casey stomped on the brakes and the redhead pitched forward with a pained grunt of surprise.  She grimaced as the seatbelt tightened roughly across her torso for the second time that night – at this point, she was fairly certain her shoulders and ribcage were covered in blossoming bruises.

The tires skidded beneath them for a moment, struggling to find traction on the shifting ground and threatening to send them spinning off into the tree line. Finally, after a few agonizingly long seconds, the Jeep came to a jerking stop.

Casey cut the engine the second the tires had stopped rotating, halting the thudding windshield wipers halfway through their pilgrimage and leaving the glass partially covered with pine needles. He turned to face his passengers, a triumphant grin already pulling at his lips. “And that’s what I call a perfect stop! I expect my valet parking tip now, thank you.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” April gave a breathless laugh, her heart still tap dancing in her chest as she unlatched her seatbelt and carefully rotated her shoulders. True to her theory, they were already aching from the vinyl restraint. “Your ‘tip’ is to not drive over the edge of a cliff without at least giving everyone in the car a solid heads up. Now c’mon – we should keep moving.”

“Duly noted,” Casey gave a nod in agreement, but the smug ‘I-told-you-so’ grin stayed on his face even as he climbed out of the driver’s seat. “However, I don’t see anyone following us, so I think that this would be considered a win for Jones and the Jonesmobile.”

A sudden shuffle of movement and a sharp click interrupted April’s quick retort, and the teens turned just in time to see the back driver’s side door swing open. The turtle in the backseat let out an excited chirp, his clawed hands dropping from the door handle and bracing against the seat as he prepared to fling himself headfirst onto the pine needle covered ground.

April yelped in alarm, throwing herself across the center console to grasp at the lip of the turtle’s shell. “Casey –”

“I’ve got him,” The boy was already on the move, rounding the Jeep before his name had fully left her lips. He grunted softly as he caught the squirming turtle under its armpits, then louder as he shifted the creature into a cradling position. As soon as she knew the risk of him falling was over, April climbed out of her seat and jogged around the car to stand by the other two. “Yo, dude, calm down. We’re safe now.”

The creature let out a low growl of frustration, his thick tail whacking against Casey’s thighs as he wriggled in the boy’s arms. “No! Need go Home! No-” he gestured broadly, indicating the entire car, and then attempted to roll out of Casey’s arms. 

“Dude, chill! I don’t want to drop you!”

“Hey, hey! Calm down – ” April reached her arms out, attempting to catch one of the turtle’s flailing limbs and nearly getting smacked across the face in the process. Yikes – she’d felt those claws before and was not interested in feeling them again. Taking a step back, she continued to speak in her attempt at a calm and level voice. “We’re leaving the car, okay?”

The turtle stilled by a degree, giving Casey just enough time to secure his grip and hoist the creature into a more comfortable position. Big brown eyes locked onto April’s wide blue ones, and the creature stared into them imploringly. “No car?”

April gave a nod in agreement, a relieved smile pulling at her lips. “No more car.”

Her promise seemed to have been all that he was looking for, as the turtle nodded in agreement and took a slow, deep breath. It was just then that April noticed the rapid way his plastron was rising and falling with each inhale, and the way his tail had curled back between his legs. Despite being a roughly 200-pound reptile, there was something about his neutral state of nervousness that made him appear almost like a small child cradled in Casey’s arms.

Casey seemed to come to the same conclusion that she did, as his next words were spoken in a soft tone that she could only imagine him using with his younger sister. “I feel ya, dude. After everything you’ve been through tonight, I’d probably hate cars, too.”

The turtle let out a huff of agreement, turning his gaze up towards Casey. “No car. Home.”

“Agreed. I’m ready to go home for the night, too. Now we’ve just got to… um…” the teenage boy paused, his head swiveling like a periscope as he seemed to take in their surroundings for the first time since parking. After a moment of shuffling in a tight circle, thoughtful ‘hmm’s whistling from his nose, he turned back towards April. “Hey, Apes? You’re the scientist here – what exactly is our next step?”

“Oh, we just… um…” Blood rushed to her cheeks as both males turned to face her, confusion etched across their features. April bit her lip. That was actually a good question. She knew from previous experiences in releasing hospitalized creatures that the best way to ensure they made it back home was to release them at or near the coordinates where they had originally been found.  But then again, Oroku Inc. already had that information – and what if they’d already guessed the teens’ plans and were moving that direction? What if the turtle’s brothers were already being herded into cages and taken back to the laboratories?

“I was thinking that we should…” she swallowed thickly, suddenly aware of the way that her throat seemed to be swelling with each wave of doubt. Her darting eyes flicked past the turtle’s wide, staring ones, and she lowered her head in sudden shame. What had she gotten them into? They really had no idea what they were doing – who did they think they were? Steve Irwin? As if. And now her dad was going to find out about what they had done, and they were going to go to jail and the turtle would be taken back and –

A hand suddenly rested on one of April’s own, grounding her in reality even as the tornado of nerves continued to swirl in her mind. Simultaneously, a low thrumming sound almost like a distant motor began to fill the air.

Her face jerked back towards the cliff, eyes instinctively scanning the rocky crags several dozen yards away. Had the goons found them after all? Were they about to come flying over the rails?

“Uh, Ape? He’s vibrating.”

April turned back towards her companions, blinking in surprise when her eyes landed on the turtle. He was still cradled in Casey’s arms, tail tucked between his legs and breathing slowly returning to a normal rhythm. However, he was now leaning towards her, arm outstretched to grab at her nearest hand. A look of concern marred his face – not like the fearful, defensive look that he’d been wearing earlier. No, this was a more timid expression – one of… pity? He was worried for her? And that sound… it almost felt familiar. Threads of long forgotten memories wove through her mind, reminding her of feelings of warmth and safety. She was suddenly a toddler again, curled up in her father’s lap and feeling his chest rise and fall beneath her cheek as he softly hummed. The sensation reverberated deeply in her chest and then up through her bones, slowly beginning to untangle the worried knot in her stomach.

Ever so slowly, as if a sudden movement would make everything come crashing down, April rotated the hand that the turtle was touching and held it palm side up. The turtle seemed to recognize this gesture and moved his own hand to accommodate. Thick claws and scales wrapped slowly around April’s hand, and she smiled warmly.

“I don’t know what you’re doing, but thanks,” she offered softly, closing her eyes and letting out a shaky breath. The humming sound continued, quietly clearing the fog from her head and making it easier to think. “And I’m sorry – I didn’t mean to freak out just now. I’m just trying to figure out the best course of action. Like we’re going to get you back to the ocean – that much I can promise. I’m just trying to figure out the best way that we can do that and get you home while still protecting you and your family.”

The thrumming sound faltered as the turtle listened, head cocked and eyes squinted. “Protect Family… from Bad Humans?”

April felt her heart sink a smidge, and she glanced over the turtle’s head to make eye contact with Casey. He really did understand more than they had initially thought; she might as well explain the situation at hand. “Yeah, those two guys that had you in their van were really bad, and they have more bad friends. We got you away from them for now, but they already know where it was that you were initially captured – so I’m worried that if we take you back to that location and leave you there with your brothers, they’ll just show up tomorrow and start this all over again.”

As April spoke, the humming sound slowed to a stop and the turtle slouched in Casey’s arms. His forehead creased in thought as he processed her words. “What if… what if Brothers move? Then… protect?”

“That might work,” Casey used one of his hands to pat the turtle’s shell in agreement. The creature arched his back, still not a huge fan of being touched more than was necessary. “If you guys moved somewhere else like, ASAP, it would be harder for anyone to find you.”

“But for how long could that actually work?” April asked, squeezing the turtle’s hand again. “And you guys would have to move pretty fast – like within the hour of us getting you to the correct coordinates.”

He hummed softly, this time sounding more tired. “Have Sometimes Home? Not long travel from Home, but still good.”

“Ok – that could work!” she nodded enthusiastically, equally trying to cheer him up and reassure herself. For now, this was the best idea they had – it would have to work. “But before we do anything else, let’s get that collar off.”

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Peas Quotes

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  • A man must have something to cling to. Without that he is as a pea vine sprawling in search of a trellis…. I was all asprawl, clinging to Beauty, which is a very restless trellis. – E. B. White • A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it’s time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. – Garrison Keillor • A monkey was carrying two handfuls of peas. One little pea dropped out. He tried to pick it up, and split twenty. He tried to pick up the twenty, and split them all. Then he lost his temper, scattered the peas in all directions and ran away – Leo Tolstoy • A solid man of Boston; A comfortable man with dividends, And the first salmon and the first green peas. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • A typical Irish dinner would be: cream flavored with lobster, cream with bits of veal in it, green peas and cream, cream cheese, cream flavored with strawberries. – Nancy Mitford • All I wanted was to be a pea of being inside the green pod of time. – Billy Collins • All things here appear to me to trudge on in one and the same round: we rise in the morning that we may eat breakfast, dinner andsupper and to bed again that we may get up the next morning and do the same: so that you never saw two peas more alike than our yesterday and to-day. – Thomas Jefferson • An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names but are as alike in their principles and aims as peas in the same pod. – Franklin D. Roosevelt • As cows need milking and sweet peas need picking, so writers must continually exercise their mental muscles by a daily stint. – Joan Aiken • Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias. – Gerald Durrell

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• Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations. – Bennett Cerf • Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he’d been cruel – Bill Watterson • Be careful what you say. It comes true. It comes true. I had to leave home in order to see the world logically, logic the new way of seeing. I learned to think that mysteries are for explanation. I enjoy the simplicity. Concrete pours out of my mouth to cover the forests with freeways and sidewalks. Give me plastics, periodical tables, TV dinners with vegetables no more complex than peas mixed with diced carrots. Shine floodlights into dark corners: no ghosts. – Maxine Hong Kingston • Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me. – Lord Chesterfield • Blue does not go with everything,” Will told her. “It does not go with red, for instance.” “I have a red and blue striped waistcoat,” Henry interjected, reaching for the peas. “And if that isn’t proof that those two colors should never be seen together under Heaven, I don’t know what is. – Cassandra Clare

• Cacao is rich in happy phenethylamine chemicals called PEA. These compounds have been associated with feeling good and falling in love. – David Wolfe • Catherine went still. Her eyes closed against a sudden wet sting. ‘Did you accept her proposal?’ Leo nuzzled tenderly into the hollow beneath her ear. ‘Of course not, pea-goose. – Lisa Kleypas • Children pick up words as pigeons peas And utter them again as God shall please. – John Ray • Civilisation makes us all as alike as peas in a pod, and it is the very uncouth – uncivilised, if you will – element which individualises nations. – Alec-Tweedie • Donald Trump has said that I would like to sit down and talk to people, work things out. Well, guess what? Some of the evidence is that was, he went straight to Mexico and sat down and had a conference and a meeting directly with Pea Nieto to go over all this. OK, that. – Kimberly Guilfoyle • Dried peas and beans, being rather on the dull side, much like dull people respond readily to the right contacts. – Irma S. Rombauer • For a hungry man, green peas are more shiny than gleaming pearls. – Mehmet Murat Ildan • Frozen peas can be shelled very fast with a wringer-type washer. Put a pan on one side of the wringer to catch the peas and the pods go on through. You will think peas will go through the wringer and be mashed the moment the pod hits the wringer, but they will pop out before they go through. A very fast job can be done this way. – Heloise • Hebrew was frozen, like frozen peas, fresh out of the Bible. – Etgar Keret • Here are sweet peas, on tiptoe for a flight; With wings of gentle flush o’er delicate white, And taper fingers catching at all things, To bind them all about with tiny rings. – John Keats • Hey, look at this!” He holds up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. “You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls,” he says earnestly to Finnick. “No, it doesn’t,” says Finnick dismissively. But I crack up, remembering that’s how a clueless Effie Trinket presented us to the people of the Capitol last year, before anyone knew us. As coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. – Suzanne Collins • How long have you been here? (Jericho) Don’t know. Again, tried to count once, got depressed so I stopped. I find it easier to just go with the flow. Ease with the peas. (Asmodeus) Ease with the peas? (Jericho) Yeah, that’s not a happy memory, either. Let’s forget I mentioned it. (Asmodeus) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • How lucious lies the pea within the pod. – Emily Dickinson • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • Hugh Grant and I both laugh and cringe at the same things, worship the same books, eat the same food, hate central heating and sleep with the window open. I thought these things were vital, but being two peas in a pod ended up not being enough. – Elizabeth Hurley • I am as comfortless as a pilgrim with peas in his shoes – and as cold as Charity, Chastity or any other Virtue. – Lord Byron • I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and…Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas. – Sarah Palin • I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat. – Robert Pattinson • I have a few cavities. I don’t like to call them cavities, though – I like to call them ‘places to put stuff’. ‘Do you know where I can store a pea’ ‘Yes, I have some locations available.’ – Mitch Hedberg • I like not lady-slippers, Nor yet the sweet-pea blossoms, Nor yet the flaky roses, Red or white as snow; I like the chaliced lilies, The heavy Eastern lilies, The gorgeous tiger-lilies, That in our garden grow. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • I liked playing Morph in Mash and Peas and doing Phil Daniels in the Blur Rock Profile was a giggle too. – Paul Putner • I listen to my iPod as I walk on. If I’m winning I’ll listen to the same song, that’s like a good luck thing – usually The Black Eyed Peas’ Let’s Get It Started. – Andy Murray • I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don’t force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots. – Alison Sweeney • I loved pop music as a little kid. Things like the Black Eyed Peas. If it had a catchy chorus, I was into it.- James Bay • I met Mel [Brooks] backstage in Anne’s [Bancroft] dressing room. He was wearing one of those pea coats, pea jackets that were made famous by the Merchant Marines, and I admired it and he said, “You know, they used to call this a urine jacket, but it didn’t sell.” – Gene Wilder • I must be like the princess who felt the pea through seven mattresses; each book is a pea. – C. S. Forester • I never dream in French, but certain French words seem better or more fun than English words – like ‘pois chiches’ for chick peas! – Lydia Davis • I think Black Eyed Peas are kind of unique in the ways they produce their songs. Their songs are very current. – Steve Pink • I think everything happens for a reason and all of my choices have led me up to my solo album and made me stronger, not only as an artist but as a person. I want to do more the Black Eyed Peas albums and more of my own albums. I’m in this for the long run. – Fergie • I thought that I had found something new. But then I convinced myself that the Abbot Gregor Mendel in Brünn, had, during the sixties, not only obtained the same result through extensive experiments with peas, which lasted for many years, as did de Vries and I, but had also given exactly the same explanation, as far as that was possible in 1866. – Carl Correns • I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green. – Nathaniel Hawthorne • I will be brave, thought Despereaux. I will try to be brave like a knight in shining armour. I will be brave for the Princess Pea. – Kate DiCamillo • I will say A Pea in the Pod saved my life – at the end of my pregnancy. I even wear their tanks now to work out in because they’re really long. – Kim Kardashian • I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families–sometimes into no family at all. When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much. – Russell Baker • If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto’s orbit into a coffee cup; then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America. – Wayne Hays • If you don’t have at least a working knowledge of the Hawaiian language… you can’t chant well. You cannot… receive the images of poetry paints for you. It’s like having peas and no pod. – Keali’i Reichel • If you gave kids peas that didn’t look like peas and said they were a space shuttle, they’re much more apt to eat them because it’s now playtime. – Hod Lipson • If you want to grow up to be a big, strong pea, you have to eat your candy,” Papa Pea would say. – Amy Krouse Rosenthal • I’m a great believer in conversational rhythm. I think in terms of rhythmic dialogue. It’s so easy, you can talk naturally. It’s like peas rolling off a knife. Take the great screen actors and actresses, Bette Davis, Eddie Robinson, Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy. They all talk in rhythm. And rhythm and movement are the life of the screen. – Lorenz Hart • I’m good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas. – Monique Coleman • I’m obsessed with broccoli, carrots, celery, string beans, snap peas, black kale, brussels sprouts, cabbage – I could go on! They used to call me ‘rabbit’ when I was a kid. I hate mushrooms, though. I apologize to fungi lovers, but this way, there’s more for you! – Lisa Edelstein • In order to get big things done, sometimes, presidents have to be deft at moving the pea around under the shells. – Charlie Pierce • In school, they would tell you that life wouldn’t come to you; you had to go out and make it your own. But when it came to love, the message for girls seemed to be this: Don’t. Don’t go after what you want. Wait. Wait to be chosen, as if only in the eye of another could one truly find value. The message was confusing and infuriating. It was a shell game with no actual pea under the rapidly moving cups. – Libba Bray • In the early years of the Uprising, we survived on one meal a day of horse meat and soup, but by the end we ate only dried peas, dogs, cats and birds. – Diane Ackerman • In the game of life, less diversity means fewer options for change. Wild or domesticated, panda or pea, adaptation is the requirement for survival. – Cary Fowler • In the range of things toddlers have to learn and endlessly review–why you can’t put bottles with certain labels in your mouth, why you have to sit on the potty, why you can’t take whatever you want in the store, why you don’t hit your friends–by the time we got to why you can’t drop your peas, well, I was dropping a few myself. – Mary Blakely • Is that clear?” said Borcht “as clear as pea soup” I said – James Patterson • It is a great delusion to suppose that flesh-meat of any kind is essential to health. Considerably more than three parts of the work in the world is done by men who never taste anything but vegetable, farinaceous food, and that of the simplest kind. There are more strength-producing properties in wholemeal flour, peas, beans, lentils, oatmeal, roots, and other vegetables of the same class, than there are beef or mutton, poultry or fish, or animal food of any description whatever. – Catherine Booth • It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. – Neil Armstrong • It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. ‘I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,’ said Lisa. – James Thurber • It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! – Rachel • Lack of world vision in any Christian produces a ‘pea-sized Christianity’. – David Bryant • Let us consider what we call vicious luxury. No gratification, however sensual, can of itself be esteemed vicious. A gratification is only vicious when it engrosses all a man’s expense, and leaves no ability for such acts of duty and generosity as are required by his situation and fortune. The same care and toil that raise a dish of peas at Christmas would give bread to a whole family during six months. – David Hume • Lives are snowflakes – unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There’s not a chance you’d mistake one for another, after a minute’s close inspection.) – Neil Gaiman • Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. And Despereaux’s love for the Princess Pea would prove, in time, to be all of these things: powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous. – Kate DiCamillo • Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke: I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them. – Quentin Crisp • Memory overshadows the present and dims the future “into something thicker than its usual pea soup.” – Vladimir Nabokov • Mostly, I spend my time being a mother to my two children, working in my organic garden, raising masses of sweet peas, being passionately involved in conservation, recycling and solar energy. – Blythe Danner • My boy, the ‘quenelles de sole’ were splendid, but the peas were poor. You should shake the pan gently, all the time, like this. – Marie-Antoine Careme • My cat is completely blind. I am watching her now, sweet-pea that is, circling the kitchen floor and bumping into the kitchen chairs. She is kind of like a furry ball in a pinball machine…she bumps into something and then just turns and moves on…it makes me smile – although i know it’s just not that funny. I think i laugh because what i really feel like doing, is crying – Jann Arden • My family lived off the land and summer evening meals featured baked stuffed tomatoes, potato salad, corn on the cob, fresh shelled peas and homemade ice cream with strawberries from our garden. With no air conditioning in those days, the cool porch was the center of our universe after the scorching days. – David Mixner • My favorite healthy foods are Jamaican chicken soup, Jamaican chicken stew peas, Jamaican brown stew chicken, plantains and banana chips. – Sanya Richards-Ross • My musical taste is like a 16-year-old girl’s when it comes to working out – Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus. I love it all! – Jessica Capshaw • My solo album is different from the Black Eyed Peas albums because I’m a singer first and foremost. There are more ballads and more intimacy between me and the listener because sometimes when you’re in a group you don’t have space to air out your dirty laundry. – Fergie • My teacher said my brain was the size of a pea. He made my life miserable by singling me out in the classroom as a failure. – Willard Wigan • No member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has canned peas, topped beets, hauled hay, shoveled coal, or helped in any way to serve others ever forgets or regrets the experience of helping provide for those in need. – Thomas S. Monson • Nobody wants somebody who wants them for what they have or the position their in- you want somebody who wants you for you. In case it all goes crazy and it all turns to dust. I want somebody who loves me in the welfare line, eating gumbo, eating fish,black eyed peas and rice. I want somebody that loves me. God wants you to love him, not his cars, not his house, not his blessing- love him. – T. D. Jakes • Nothing rekindles my spirits, gives comfort to my heart and mind, more than a visit to Mississippi… and to be regaled as I often have been, with a platter of fried chicken, field peas, collard greens, fresh corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes with French dressing… and to top it all off with a wedge of freshly baked pecan pie. – Craig Claiborne • Now hoppin’-john was F. Jasmine’s very favorite food. She had always warned them to wave a plate of rice and peas before her nose when she was in her coffin, to make certain there was no mistake; for if a breath of life was left in her, she would sit up and eat, but if she smelled the hopping-john, and did not stir, then they could just nail down the coffin and be certain she was truly dead. – Carson McCullers • October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace! – Rainbow Rowell • One recent menu for suspected terrorists at Guantanamo consisted of orange glazed chicken, fresh fruit crepe, steamed peas and mushrooms, and rice pilaf. Sounds like the sort of thing you’d get at Windows on the World – if it still existed. – Ann Coulter • Our full humanity is contingent on our hospitality; we can be complete only when we are giving something away; when we sit at the table and pass the peas to the person next to us we see that person in a whole new way. – Alice Waters • Pea was aware suddenly of how fragile her heart was, how much darkness was inside it, fighting, always, with the light. She did not like the rat. She would neverlike the rat, but she knew what she must do to save her own heart. – Kate DiCamillo • Peas baffled me. I could not understand why grown-ups would take things that tasted so good raw, and then put them in tins, and make them revolting. – Neil Gaiman • Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine. – Peg Bracken • People ate bread made of the shells of peas because there was no flour. – Bel Kaufman • Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation’s tears in shoulder blades. – Boris Pasternak • Reader, you may ask this queston. In fact, you must ask this question. Is it ridiculous for a very small, sickly, big-eared mouse to fall in love with a beautiful princess named Pea? The answer is… Yes. Of course it’s ridiculous. Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. – Kate DiCamillo • Rice and peas fit into that category of dishes where two ordinary foods, combined together, ignite a pleasure far beyond the capacity of either of its parts alone. Like rhubarb and strawberries, apple pie and cheese, roast pork and sage, the two tastes and textures meld together into the sort of subtle transcendental oneness that we once fantasized would be our experience when we finally found the ideal mate. – John Thorne • Runny’s Nicpic One day Runny Babbit Met little Franny Fog. He said, “Let’s have a nicpic Down by the lollow hog.” He brought some cutter bookies, Some teanuts and some pea. And what did Franny Fog bring? Her whole fog framily. – Shel Silverstein • She could not explain or quite understand that it wasn’t altogether jealousy she felt, it was rage. And not because she couldn’t shop like that or dress like that. It was because that was what girls were supposed to be like. That was what men – people, everybody – thought they should be like. Beautiful, treasured, spoiled, selfish, pea-brained. That was what a girl should be, to be fallen in love with. Then she would become a mother and she’d be all mushily devoted to her babies. Not selfish anymore, but just as pea-brained. Forever. – Alice Munro • Soft petals, yes, but not so barren quite, Mingled with these, smooth bean and wrinkled pea; And go along with you ere you lose sight Of what you came for and become like me,

Slave to a springtime passion for the earth. How love burns through the Putting in the Seed On through the watching for that early birth When, just as the soil tarnishes with weed,

The sturdy seedling with arched body comes Shouldering its way and shedding the earth crumbs. – Robert Frost • Some are trapped in boxes of pea-sized Christianity, full of myths about missions that rob them of incentive to care about the unreached – David Bryant • Some days confidence shrinks to the size of a pea, and the backbone feels like a feather. We want to be somewhere else, and don’t know where – want to be someone else and don’t know who. – Jean Hersey • Someone is dead. Even the trees know it, those poor old dancers who come on lewdly, all pea-green scarfs and spine pole. – Anne Sexton • Sometimes when you are trying not to think about something it keeps popping back in your head you can’t help it you think about it and think about it and think about it until your brain feels like a squashed pea. – Sharon Creech • STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal 1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk) 2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness) 1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture) 1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color) 1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity) Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature Use liberally as needed Makes 4 to 5 cups – Rachel Renée Russell • Straight up from this road Away from the fitted particles of frost Coating the hull of each chick pea, And the stiff archer bug making its way In the morning dark, toe hair by toe hair, Up the stem of the trillim, Straight up through the sky above this road right now, The galaxies of the Cygnus A cluster Are colliding with each other in a massive swarm Of interpenetrating and exploding catastrophes. I try to remember that. – Pattiann Rogers • Sweet pea?'” Alec said. “I was just trying it out.” Alec shook his head. “No.” Magnus shrugged. “I’ll keep at it. – Cassandra Clare • Tess and I are a good match. She understands intimately where I came from. She can cheer me up on my darkest days. It’s as if she came perfectly happy home instead of what Kaede just told me. I feel a relaxing warmth at the thought, realizing suddenly how much I’m anticipating meeting up with Tess again. Where she goes, I go, and vice versa. Peas in a pod. Then there’s June. Even the thought of her name makes it hard for me to breathe. I’m almost embarrassed by my reaction. Are June and I a good match? No. It’s the first word to pop into my mind. And yet, still. – Marie Lu • That admiration of the ‘neat but not gaudy,’ which is commonly reported to have influenced the devil when he painted his tail pea green. – John Ruskin • The best minds come from the most unexpected faces and places. There is no image for intelligence or genius. Genius is something that cannot be seen. It cannot be produced or manufactured. It is something that even the true genius thinks is unattainable. The genius recognizes he’s just a small pea in a sea of infinite atoms. Knowledge is as infinite as the universe. The man who claims to know all, only reveals to all that he really knows nothing. – Suzy Kassem • The Black Eyed Peas sell thousands of seats in every country on the planet. You can’t get nervous. We’re all succeeding in all different parts of our careers. Just because I produce Nas and John Legend and Justin Timberlake doesn’t mean it will change the dynamic of the Peas. – will.i.am • The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!” he screamed. CHICKEN!” the crowd responded. Rice!” PEAS!” And then, all together: “WE GOT HIGHER SATs.” Hip Hip Hip Hooray!” the Colonel cried. YOU’LL BE WORKIN’ FOR US SOMEDAY! – John Green • The meal was pretentious – a kind of beetroot soup with greasy croutons; pork underdone with loud vulgar cabbage, potato croquettes, tinned peas in tiny jam-tart cases, watery gooseberry sauce; trifle made with a resinous wine, so jammy that all my teeth lit up at once. – Anthony Burgess • The only really interesting thing about someone that makes you want to explore them further is their heart, and Miss Honeycut has a teeny tiny pea-sized one and it takes you nowhere you want to go. – Polly Horvath • The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . . They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon. – Edward Lear • The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty of money, / Wrapped up in a five pound note. – Edward Lear • The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss. – Mike Myers • The Princess and the Pea?” Gabrielle suggested. “Not enough time,” Kat said “Where’s Waldo?” Gabrielle went on. “No.” Hamish recoiled. “I am still not allowed back in Morocco. – Ally Carter • The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • There are few pleasures like really burrowing one’s nose into sweet peas. – Angela Thirkell • There are m]oral precepts that we consider really important, such as ‘don’t pick your nose’ or ‘don’t eat peas with a knife’. There may, for ought I know, be admirable reasons for eating peas with a knife, but . . . early persuasion has made me completely incapable of appreciating them.- Bertrand Russell • There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don’t let the man who doesn’t love you be one of them. – Cheryl Strayed • There has long been a bemoaning of the lack of opportunity to make films that are anything but explosions or the ladling on the pea soup or whatever you want to call it. You can hardly make a movie today where somebody isn’t a murderer or a rapist or, if it’s a “Fried Green Tomatoes” that isn’t some wistful thing on this, that or the other thing. – Jack Nicholson • There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas. – Dana Gould • This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons peas; And utters it again when God doth please: He is wit’s pedler; and retails his wares. – William Shakespeare • Though loyal and able and brave, Pea had never displayed the slightest ability to learn from his experience, though his experience was considerable. Time and again he would walk up on the wrong side of a horse that was known to kick, and then look surprised when he got kicked. – Larry McMurtry • Thoughts come maimed and plucked of plumage from the lips, which, from the pea, in the silence of your own leisure and study, would be born with far more beauty. – Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington • Throw high risers at the chin; throw peas at the knees; throw it here when they’re lookin’ there; throw it there when they’re lookin’ here. – Satchel Paige • Tibby cried into her soup when it finally came. “I’m scared… ,” she told it. The carrots and peas made no reply, but she felt better for having told them. – Ann Brashares • Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don’t grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets. – Helen Fisher • We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men’s testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned. – Susan J. Douglas • We have fried catfish, country fried steak and cinnamon-roasted pork. We have collard greens, black-eyed peas, hush puppies, biscuits, sweet potato pie and lots of gravy. Most players love it, but we also have a baked catfish for players who are still looking to stay on the approved diet. – Mark Farner • What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. – Robert Breault • Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we’re gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don’t know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go “Hey baby? Man, it’s hot as hell out here, ain’t it! Look, don’t worry about emptyin’ that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I’m gonna go take a nap now, all right?” – Jeff Foxworthy • When Pococke inquired of Grotius, where the proof was of that story of the pigeon, trained to pick peas from Mahomet’s (Muhammad’s) ear, and pass for an angel dictating to him? Grotius answered that there was no proof! – Thomas Carlyle • When you look at the Lady Gagas of the world, or the Jay-Zs, or the Black Eyed Peas, these are people who have one album release and it’s a worldwide one. – Tinie Tempah • When you think of the “Exorcist” (1973) you think of Linda Blair and pea soup and all this madness, but really if you look at the first half of that film, the stuff between her and Ellen Burstyn is so naturalistic and so real. – Matt Reeves • When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond. – Russell Baker • Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario • William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea. – Sid Waddell • You know, when I eat three peas, I’m pregnant. When I visit a city, I’m buying a house. – Vanessa Paradis • Young people want to look like peas in a pod, and there is no use trying to make them different. – Ilka Chase

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[equitiesstocks]

Peas Quotes

Official Website: Peas Quotes

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  • A man must have something to cling to. Without that he is as a pea vine sprawling in search of a trellis…. I was all asprawl, clinging to Beauty, which is a very restless trellis. – E. B. White • A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it’s time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. – Garrison Keillor • A monkey was carrying two handfuls of peas. One little pea dropped out. He tried to pick it up, and split twenty. He tried to pick up the twenty, and split them all. Then he lost his temper, scattered the peas in all directions and ran away – Leo Tolstoy • A solid man of Boston; A comfortable man with dividends, And the first salmon and the first green peas. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow • A typical Irish dinner would be: cream flavored with lobster, cream with bits of veal in it, green peas and cream, cream cheese, cream flavored with strawberries. – Nancy Mitford • All I wanted was to be a pea of being inside the green pod of time. – Billy Collins • All things here appear to me to trudge on in one and the same round: we rise in the morning that we may eat breakfast, dinner andsupper and to bed again that we may get up the next morning and do the same: so that you never saw two peas more alike than our yesterday and to-day. – Thomas Jefferson • An election cannot give a country a firm sense of direction if it has two or more national parties which merely have different names but are as alike in their principles and aims as peas in the same pod. – Franklin D. Roosevelt • As cows need milking and sweet peas need picking, so writers must continually exercise their mental muscles by a daily stint. – Joan Aiken • Aspirin is so good for roses, brandy for sweet peas, and a squeeze of lemon-juice for the fleshy flowers, like begonias. – Gerald Durrell

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• Banquet: a plate of cold, hairy chicken and artificially coloured green peas completely surrounded by dreary speeches and appeals for donations. – Bennett Cerf • Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. There his dad spent his life eating mice and gruel With every bite for fifty years he was sorry he’d been cruel – Bill Watterson • Be careful what you say. It comes true. It comes true. I had to leave home in order to see the world logically, logic the new way of seeing. I learned to think that mysteries are for explanation. I enjoy the simplicity. Concrete pours out of my mouth to cover the forests with freeways and sidewalks. Give me plastics, periodical tables, TV dinners with vegetables no more complex than peas mixed with diced carrots. Shine floodlights into dark corners: no ghosts. – Maxine Hong Kingston • Being pretty on the inside means you don’t hit your brother and you eat all your peas – that’s what my grandma taught me. – Lord Chesterfield • Blue does not go with everything,” Will told her. “It does not go with red, for instance.” “I have a red and blue striped waistcoat,” Henry interjected, reaching for the peas. “And if that isn’t proof that those two colors should never be seen together under Heaven, I don’t know what is. – Cassandra Clare

• Cacao is rich in happy phenethylamine chemicals called PEA. These compounds have been associated with feeling good and falling in love. – David Wolfe • Catherine went still. Her eyes closed against a sudden wet sting. ‘Did you accept her proposal?’ Leo nuzzled tenderly into the hollow beneath her ear. ‘Of course not, pea-goose. – Lisa Kleypas • Children pick up words as pigeons peas And utter them again as God shall please. – John Ray • Civilisation makes us all as alike as peas in a pod, and it is the very uncouth – uncivilised, if you will – element which individualises nations. – Alec-Tweedie • Donald Trump has said that I would like to sit down and talk to people, work things out. Well, guess what? Some of the evidence is that was, he went straight to Mexico and sat down and had a conference and a meeting directly with Pea Nieto to go over all this. OK, that. – Kimberly Guilfoyle • Dried peas and beans, being rather on the dull side, much like dull people respond readily to the right contacts. – Irma S. Rombauer • For a hungry man, green peas are more shiny than gleaming pearls. – Mehmet Murat Ildan • Frozen peas can be shelled very fast with a wringer-type washer. Put a pan on one side of the wringer to catch the peas and the pods go on through. You will think peas will go through the wringer and be mashed the moment the pod hits the wringer, but they will pop out before they go through. A very fast job can be done this way. – Heloise • Hebrew was frozen, like frozen peas, fresh out of the Bible. – Etgar Keret • Here are sweet peas, on tiptoe for a flight; With wings of gentle flush o’er delicate white, And taper fingers catching at all things, To bind them all about with tiny rings. – John Keats • Hey, look at this!” He holds up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. “You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls,” he says earnestly to Finnick. “No, it doesn’t,” says Finnick dismissively. But I crack up, remembering that’s how a clueless Effie Trinket presented us to the people of the Capitol last year, before anyone knew us. As coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. – Suzanne Collins • How long have you been here? (Jericho) Don’t know. Again, tried to count once, got depressed so I stopped. I find it easier to just go with the flow. Ease with the peas. (Asmodeus) Ease with the peas? (Jericho) Yeah, that’s not a happy memory, either. Let’s forget I mentioned it. (Asmodeus) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • How lucious lies the pea within the pod. – Emily Dickinson • How much courage does it take to fire up your tractor and plow under a crop you spent six or seven years growing? How much courage to go on and do that after you’ve spent all that time finding out how to prepare the soil and when to plant and how much to water and when to reap? How much to just say, “I have to quit these peas. Peas are no good for me, I better try corn or beans. – Stephen King • Hugh Grant and I both laugh and cringe at the same things, worship the same books, eat the same food, hate central heating and sleep with the window open. I thought these things were vital, but being two peas in a pod ended up not being enough. – Elizabeth Hurley • I am as comfortless as a pilgrim with peas in his shoes – and as cold as Charity, Chastity or any other Virtue. – Lord Byron • I cannot wait to go get my fried butter on a stick, and fried cheesecake on a stick and…Twinkies, especially in honor of those who would rather just be forced to eat our peas. – Sarah Palin • I had pecs for about two days. Everyone would hate me. Just look at me walking around with my little peacoat on. My little customized pea coat. – Robert Pattinson • I have a few cavities. I don’t like to call them cavities, though – I like to call them ‘places to put stuff’. ‘Do you know where I can store a pea’ ‘Yes, I have some locations available.’ – Mitch Hedberg • I like not lady-slippers, Nor yet the sweet-pea blossoms, Nor yet the flaky roses, Red or white as snow; I like the chaliced lilies, The heavy Eastern lilies, The gorgeous tiger-lilies, That in our garden grow. – Thomas Bailey Aldrich • I liked playing Morph in Mash and Peas and doing Phil Daniels in the Blur Rock Profile was a giggle too. – Paul Putner • I listen to my iPod as I walk on. If I’m winning I’ll listen to the same song, that’s like a good luck thing – usually The Black Eyed Peas’ Let’s Get It Started. – Andy Murray • I love fresh vegetables and we always include them in our meals. I don’t force my kids to eat asparagus, but they do eat peas, broccoli, and carrots. – Alison Sweeney • I loved pop music as a little kid. Things like the Black Eyed Peas. If it had a catchy chorus, I was into it.- James Bay • I met Mel [Brooks] backstage in Anne’s [Bancroft] dressing room. He was wearing one of those pea coats, pea jackets that were made famous by the Merchant Marines, and I admired it and he said, “You know, they used to call this a urine jacket, but it didn’t sell.” – Gene Wilder • I must be like the princess who felt the pea through seven mattresses; each book is a pea. – C. S. Forester • I never dream in French, but certain French words seem better or more fun than English words – like ‘pois chiches’ for chick peas! – Lydia Davis • I think Black Eyed Peas are kind of unique in the ways they produce their songs. Their songs are very current. – Steve Pink • I think everything happens for a reason and all of my choices have led me up to my solo album and made me stronger, not only as an artist but as a person. I want to do more the Black Eyed Peas albums and more of my own albums. I’m in this for the long run. – Fergie • I thought that I had found something new. But then I convinced myself that the Abbot Gregor Mendel in Brünn, had, during the sixties, not only obtained the same result through extensive experiments with peas, which lasted for many years, as did de Vries and I, but had also given exactly the same explanation, as far as that was possible in 1866. – Carl Correns • I used to visit and revisit it a dozen times a day, and stand in deep contemplation over my vegetable progeny with a love that nobody could share or conceive of who had never taken part in the process of creation. It was one of the most bewitching sights in the world to observe a hill of beans thrusting aside the soil, or a rose of early peas just peeping forth sufficiently to trace a line of delicate green. – Nathaniel Hawthorne • I will be brave, thought Despereaux. I will try to be brave like a knight in shining armour. I will be brave for the Princess Pea. – Kate DiCamillo • I will say A Pea in the Pod saved my life – at the end of my pregnancy. I even wear their tanks now to work out in because they’re really long. – Kim Kardashian • I worry about people who get born nowadays, because they get born into such tiny families–sometimes into no family at all. When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope Diamond. And that encourages you to talk too much. – Russell Baker • If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto’s orbit into a coffee cup; then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America. – Wayne Hays • If you don’t have at least a working knowledge of the Hawaiian language… you can’t chant well. You cannot… receive the images of poetry paints for you. It’s like having peas and no pod. – Keali’i Reichel • If you gave kids peas that didn’t look like peas and said they were a space shuttle, they’re much more apt to eat them because it’s now playtime. – Hod Lipson • If you want to grow up to be a big, strong pea, you have to eat your candy,” Papa Pea would say. – Amy Krouse Rosenthal • I’m a great believer in conversational rhythm. I think in terms of rhythmic dialogue. It’s so easy, you can talk naturally. It’s like peas rolling off a knife. Take the great screen actors and actresses, Bette Davis, Eddie Robinson, Jimmy Cagney, Spencer Tracy. They all talk in rhythm. And rhythm and movement are the life of the screen. – Lorenz Hart • I’m good in the kitchen. I can cook seafood, collard greens, black-eyed peas. – Monique Coleman • I’m obsessed with broccoli, carrots, celery, string beans, snap peas, black kale, brussels sprouts, cabbage – I could go on! They used to call me ‘rabbit’ when I was a kid. I hate mushrooms, though. I apologize to fungi lovers, but this way, there’s more for you! – Lisa Edelstein • In order to get big things done, sometimes, presidents have to be deft at moving the pea around under the shells. – Charlie Pierce • In school, they would tell you that life wouldn’t come to you; you had to go out and make it your own. But when it came to love, the message for girls seemed to be this: Don’t. Don’t go after what you want. Wait. Wait to be chosen, as if only in the eye of another could one truly find value. The message was confusing and infuriating. It was a shell game with no actual pea under the rapidly moving cups. – Libba Bray • In the early years of the Uprising, we survived on one meal a day of horse meat and soup, but by the end we ate only dried peas, dogs, cats and birds. – Diane Ackerman • In the game of life, less diversity means fewer options for change. Wild or domesticated, panda or pea, adaptation is the requirement for survival. – Cary Fowler • In the range of things toddlers have to learn and endlessly review–why you can’t put bottles with certain labels in your mouth, why you have to sit on the potty, why you can’t take whatever you want in the store, why you don’t hit your friends–by the time we got to why you can’t drop your peas, well, I was dropping a few myself. – Mary Blakely • Is that clear?” said Borcht “as clear as pea soup” I said – James Patterson • It is a great delusion to suppose that flesh-meat of any kind is essential to health. Considerably more than three parts of the work in the world is done by men who never taste anything but vegetable, farinaceous food, and that of the simplest kind. There are more strength-producing properties in wholemeal flour, peas, beans, lentils, oatmeal, roots, and other vegetables of the same class, than there are beef or mutton, poultry or fish, or animal food of any description whatever. – Catherine Booth • It suddenly struck me that that tiny pea, pretty and blue, was the Earth. I put up my thumb and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth. I didn’t feel like a giant. I felt very, very small. – Neil Armstrong • It was Lisa, aged five, whose mother asked her to thank my wife for the peas we had sent them from our garden. ‘I thought the peas were awful, I wish you and Mrs. Thurber were dead, and I hate trees,’ said Lisa. – James Thurber • It’s a trifle. It’s got all of these layers. First there’s a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch, then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef sauteed with peas and onions, then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top! – Rachel • Lack of world vision in any Christian produces a ‘pea-sized Christianity’. – David Bryant • Let us consider what we call vicious luxury. No gratification, however sensual, can of itself be esteemed vicious. A gratification is only vicious when it engrosses all a man’s expense, and leaves no ability for such acts of duty and generosity as are required by his situation and fortune. The same care and toil that raise a dish of peas at Christmas would give bread to a whole family during six months. – David Hume • Lives are snowflakes – unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There’s not a chance you’d mistake one for another, after a minute’s close inspection.) – Neil Gaiman • Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. And Despereaux’s love for the Princess Pea would prove, in time, to be all of these things: powerful, wonderful, and ridiculous. – Kate DiCamillo • Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke: I don’t like peas, and I’m glad I don’t like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them. – Quentin Crisp • Memory overshadows the present and dims the future “into something thicker than its usual pea soup.” – Vladimir Nabokov • Mostly, I spend my time being a mother to my two children, working in my organic garden, raising masses of sweet peas, being passionately involved in conservation, recycling and solar energy. – Blythe Danner • My boy, the ‘quenelles de sole’ were splendid, but the peas were poor. You should shake the pan gently, all the time, like this. – Marie-Antoine Careme • My cat is completely blind. I am watching her now, sweet-pea that is, circling the kitchen floor and bumping into the kitchen chairs. She is kind of like a furry ball in a pinball machine…she bumps into something and then just turns and moves on…it makes me smile – although i know it’s just not that funny. I think i laugh because what i really feel like doing, is crying – Jann Arden • My family lived off the land and summer evening meals featured baked stuffed tomatoes, potato salad, corn on the cob, fresh shelled peas and homemade ice cream with strawberries from our garden. With no air conditioning in those days, the cool porch was the center of our universe after the scorching days. – David Mixner • My favorite healthy foods are Jamaican chicken soup, Jamaican chicken stew peas, Jamaican brown stew chicken, plantains and banana chips. – Sanya Richards-Ross • My musical taste is like a 16-year-old girl’s when it comes to working out – Rihanna, Black Eyed Peas, Miley Cyrus. I love it all! – Jessica Capshaw • My solo album is different from the Black Eyed Peas albums because I’m a singer first and foremost. There are more ballads and more intimacy between me and the listener because sometimes when you’re in a group you don’t have space to air out your dirty laundry. – Fergie • My teacher said my brain was the size of a pea. He made my life miserable by singling me out in the classroom as a failure. – Willard Wigan • No member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who has canned peas, topped beets, hauled hay, shoveled coal, or helped in any way to serve others ever forgets or regrets the experience of helping provide for those in need. – Thomas S. Monson • Nobody wants somebody who wants them for what they have or the position their in- you want somebody who wants you for you. In case it all goes crazy and it all turns to dust. I want somebody who loves me in the welfare line, eating gumbo, eating fish,black eyed peas and rice. I want somebody that loves me. God wants you to love him, not his cars, not his house, not his blessing- love him. – T. D. Jakes • Nothing rekindles my spirits, gives comfort to my heart and mind, more than a visit to Mississippi… and to be regaled as I often have been, with a platter of fried chicken, field peas, collard greens, fresh corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes with French dressing… and to top it all off with a wedge of freshly baked pecan pie. – Craig Claiborne • Now hoppin’-john was F. Jasmine’s very favorite food. She had always warned them to wave a plate of rice and peas before her nose when she was in her coffin, to make certain there was no mistake; for if a breath of life was left in her, she would sit up and eat, but if she smelled the hopping-john, and did not stir, then they could just nail down the coffin and be certain she was truly dead. – Carson McCullers • October, baptize me with leaves! Swaddle me in corduroy and nurse me with split pea soup. October, tuck tiny candy bars in my pockets and carve my smile into a thousand pumpkins. O autumn! O teakettle! O grace! – Rainbow Rowell • One recent menu for suspected terrorists at Guantanamo consisted of orange glazed chicken, fresh fruit crepe, steamed peas and mushrooms, and rice pilaf. Sounds like the sort of thing you’d get at Windows on the World – if it still existed. – Ann Coulter • Our full humanity is contingent on our hospitality; we can be complete only when we are giving something away; when we sit at the table and pass the peas to the person next to us we see that person in a whole new way. – Alice Waters • Pea was aware suddenly of how fragile her heart was, how much darkness was inside it, fighting, always, with the light. She did not like the rat. She would neverlike the rat, but she knew what she must do to save her own heart. – Kate DiCamillo • Peas baffled me. I could not understand why grown-ups would take things that tasted so good raw, and then put them in tins, and make them revolting. – Neil Gaiman • Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine. – Peg Bracken • People ate bread made of the shells of peas because there was no flour. – Bel Kaufman • Poetry is a rich, full-bodied whistle, cracked ice crunching in pails, the night that numbs the leaf, the duel of two nightingales, the sweet pea that has run wild, Creation’s tears in shoulder blades. – Boris Pasternak • Reader, you may ask this queston. In fact, you must ask this question. Is it ridiculous for a very small, sickly, big-eared mouse to fall in love with a beautiful princess named Pea? The answer is… Yes. Of course it’s ridiculous. Love is ridiculous. But love is also wonderful. And powerful. – Kate DiCamillo • Rice and peas fit into that category of dishes where two ordinary foods, combined together, ignite a pleasure far beyond the capacity of either of its parts alone. Like rhubarb and strawberries, apple pie and cheese, roast pork and sage, the two tastes and textures meld together into the sort of subtle transcendental oneness that we once fantasized would be our experience when we finally found the ideal mate. – John Thorne • Runny’s Nicpic One day Runny Babbit Met little Franny Fog. He said, “Let’s have a nicpic Down by the lollow hog.” He brought some cutter bookies, Some teanuts and some pea. And what did Franny Fog bring? Her whole fog framily. – Shel Silverstein • She could not explain or quite understand that it wasn’t altogether jealousy she felt, it was rage. And not because she couldn’t shop like that or dress like that. It was because that was what girls were supposed to be like. That was what men – people, everybody – thought they should be like. Beautiful, treasured, spoiled, selfish, pea-brained. That was what a girl should be, to be fallen in love with. Then she would become a mother and she’d be all mushily devoted to her babies. Not selfish anymore, but just as pea-brained. Forever. – Alice Munro • Soft petals, yes, but not so barren quite, Mingled with these, smooth bean and wrinkled pea; And go along with you ere you lose sight Of what you came for and become like me,

Slave to a springtime passion for the earth. How love burns through the Putting in the Seed On through the watching for that early birth When, just as the soil tarnishes with weed,

The sturdy seedling with arched body comes Shouldering its way and shedding the earth crumbs. – Robert Frost • Some are trapped in boxes of pea-sized Christianity, full of myths about missions that rob them of incentive to care about the unreached – David Bryant • Some days confidence shrinks to the size of a pea, and the backbone feels like a feather. We want to be somewhere else, and don’t know where – want to be someone else and don’t know who. – Jean Hersey • Someone is dead. Even the trees know it, those poor old dancers who come on lewdly, all pea-green scarfs and spine pole. – Anne Sexton • Sometimes when you are trying not to think about something it keeps popping back in your head you can’t help it you think about it and think about it and think about it until your brain feels like a squashed pea. – Sharon Creech • STAY HOME FROM SCHOOL FAUX VOMIT: 1 cup of cooked oatmeal 1.2 cup of sour cream (or buttermilk ranch dressing or anything that smells like rancid, sour milk) 2 chopped cheese sticks (for chunkiness) 1 uncooked egg (for authentic slimy texture) 1 can of split pea soup (for putrid green color) 1/4 cup of raisins (to increase gross-osity) Mix ingredients and simmer over low heat for 2 minutes Let mixture cool to warm vomit temperature Use liberally as needed Makes 4 to 5 cups – Rachel Renée Russell • Straight up from this road Away from the fitted particles of frost Coating the hull of each chick pea, And the stiff archer bug making its way In the morning dark, toe hair by toe hair, Up the stem of the trillim, Straight up through the sky above this road right now, The galaxies of the Cygnus A cluster Are colliding with each other in a massive swarm Of interpenetrating and exploding catastrophes. I try to remember that. – Pattiann Rogers • Sweet pea?'” Alec said. “I was just trying it out.” Alec shook his head. “No.” Magnus shrugged. “I’ll keep at it. – Cassandra Clare • Tess and I are a good match. She understands intimately where I came from. She can cheer me up on my darkest days. It’s as if she came perfectly happy home instead of what Kaede just told me. I feel a relaxing warmth at the thought, realizing suddenly how much I’m anticipating meeting up with Tess again. Where she goes, I go, and vice versa. Peas in a pod. Then there’s June. Even the thought of her name makes it hard for me to breathe. I’m almost embarrassed by my reaction. Are June and I a good match? No. It’s the first word to pop into my mind. And yet, still. – Marie Lu • That admiration of the ‘neat but not gaudy,’ which is commonly reported to have influenced the devil when he painted his tail pea green. – John Ruskin • The best minds come from the most unexpected faces and places. There is no image for intelligence or genius. Genius is something that cannot be seen. It cannot be produced or manufactured. It is something that even the true genius thinks is unattainable. The genius recognizes he’s just a small pea in a sea of infinite atoms. Knowledge is as infinite as the universe. The man who claims to know all, only reveals to all that he really knows nothing. – Suzy Kassem • The Black Eyed Peas sell thousands of seats in every country on the planet. You can’t get nervous. We’re all succeeding in all different parts of our careers. Just because I produce Nas and John Legend and Justin Timberlake doesn’t mean it will change the dynamic of the Peas. – will.i.am • The Colonel led all the cheers. Cornbread!” he screamed. CHICKEN!” the crowd responded. Rice!” PEAS!” And then, all together: “WE GOT HIGHER SATs.” Hip Hip Hip Hooray!” the Colonel cried. YOU’LL BE WORKIN’ FOR US SOMEDAY! – John Green • The meal was pretentious – a kind of beetroot soup with greasy croutons; pork underdone with loud vulgar cabbage, potato croquettes, tinned peas in tiny jam-tart cases, watery gooseberry sauce; trifle made with a resinous wine, so jammy that all my teeth lit up at once. – Anthony Burgess • The only really interesting thing about someone that makes you want to explore them further is their heart, and Miss Honeycut has a teeny tiny pea-sized one and it takes you nowhere you want to go. – Polly Horvath • The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea In a beautiful pea-green boat: They took some honey, and plenty of money Wrapped up in a five-pound note. . . They dined on mince and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon. – Edward Lear • The owl and the pussycat went to sea, / In a beautiful pea green boat. / They took some honey, and plenty of money, / Wrapped up in a five pound note. – Edward Lear • The peanut is neither a pea nor a nut. Discuss. – Mike Myers • The Princess and the Pea?” Gabrielle suggested. “Not enough time,” Kat said “Where’s Waldo?” Gabrielle went on. “No.” Hamish recoiled. “I am still not allowed back in Morocco. – Ally Carter • The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly; the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line. – Ralph Waldo Emerson • There are few pleasures like really burrowing one’s nose into sweet peas. – Angela Thirkell • There are m]oral precepts that we consider really important, such as ‘don’t pick your nose’ or ‘don’t eat peas with a knife’. There may, for ought I know, be admirable reasons for eating peas with a knife, but . . . early persuasion has made me completely incapable of appreciating them.- Bertrand Russell • There are so many things to be tortured about, sweet pea. So many torturous things in this life. Don’t let the man who doesn’t love you be one of them. – Cheryl Strayed • There has long been a bemoaning of the lack of opportunity to make films that are anything but explosions or the ladling on the pea soup or whatever you want to call it. You can hardly make a movie today where somebody isn’t a murderer or a rapist or, if it’s a “Fried Green Tomatoes” that isn’t some wistful thing on this, that or the other thing. – Jack Nicholson • There must be a way to get more of these in me faster, thought the inventor of pea soup as he sat eating peas. – Dana Gould • This fellow pecks up wit, as pigeons peas; And utters it again when God doth please: He is wit’s pedler; and retails his wares. – William Shakespeare • Though loyal and able and brave, Pea had never displayed the slightest ability to learn from his experience, though his experience was considerable. Time and again he would walk up on the wrong side of a horse that was known to kick, and then look surprised when he got kicked. – Larry McMurtry • Thoughts come maimed and plucked of plumage from the lips, which, from the pea, in the silence of your own leisure and study, would be born with far more beauty. – Marguerite Gardiner, Countess of Blessington • Throw high risers at the chin; throw peas at the knees; throw it here when they’re lookin’ there; throw it there when they’re lookin’ here. – Satchel Paige • Tibby cried into her soup when it finally came. “I’m scared… ,” she told it. The carrots and peas made no reply, but she felt better for having told them. – Ann Brashares • Today, most women are surrounded by ingenious gadgets. They don’t grow the peas or raise the chicken that they serve for dinner; instead they hunt and gather in the grocery store. They go through catalogs or department stores to buy clothes instead of shearing sheep, carding wool, and weaving cloth for skirts and coats and blankets. – Helen Fisher • We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men’s testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned. – Susan J. Douglas • We have fried catfish, country fried steak and cinnamon-roasted pork. We have collard greens, black-eyed peas, hush puppies, biscuits, sweet potato pie and lots of gravy. Most players love it, but we also have a baked catfish for players who are still looking to stay on the approved diet. – Mark Farner • What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea. – Robert Breault • Whatever cleaning goes on on the planet, women do 99% of it. But see, women are not as proud of their 99% as men are of our one! We clean something up, we’re gonna talk about it all year long. It might be on the news, you don’t know. A woman could be out re-paving the driveway. Men actually have enough gall to run out on the porch and go “Hey baby? Man, it’s hot as hell out here, ain’t it! Look, don’t worry about emptyin’ that ashtray in the den, I done got it, all right? Did it for you, sweet pea. I’m gonna go take a nap now, all right?” – Jeff Foxworthy • When Pococke inquired of Grotius, where the proof was of that story of the pigeon, trained to pick peas from Mahomet’s (Muhammad’s) ear, and pass for an angel dictating to him? Grotius answered that there was no proof! – Thomas Carlyle • When you look at the Lady Gagas of the world, or the Jay-Zs, or the Black Eyed Peas, these are people who have one album release and it’s a worldwide one. – Tinie Tempah • When you think of the “Exorcist” (1973) you think of Linda Blair and pea soup and all this madness, but really if you look at the first half of that film, the stuff between her and Ellen Burstyn is so naturalistic and so real. – Matt Reeves • When you’re the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond. – Russell Baker • Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, “Will you look at that golf path?Pure pea gravel.” – Jeff Cesario • William Tell could take an apple off your head, [Phil] Taylor could take out a processed pea. – Sid Waddell • You know, when I eat three peas, I’m pregnant. When I visit a city, I’m buying a house. – Vanessa Paradis • Young people want to look like peas in a pod, and there is no use trying to make them different. – Ilka Chase

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