#anyway sorry i needed to vent lol
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i hate official language exams cause what do you mean the only way to prove my level is to pass a listening done with some broken speakers and a dude whose voice i recognise from watching derry girls? like okay lets make an agreement, i show you my fanfics and you put a B on my formal letter essay
#aaaaaaaaaa#i love english i swear but uuuugh#like i know i cant go to the examiner and say hey last week i had a dream i was in the trojan war and achilles was talking to me in english#but i just know theres people out there who dont know what a verb is and meanwhile im here like “hmm yes word collocations”#anyway sorry i needed to vent lol#losver infodumps u without ur consent#ALSO the derry girls bit is true i swear i heard james' voice in my b2 exam and i was like sjjfjdjfjd bro i need to concentrate
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Don't feed the plants.
#the things i would do to this man it is insane he has a damn chokehold on me i never want him to let go#im sorry i am going nuts over him but he is my problematic babygirl#he is such a bitch in my head but i love brats#lmfao jfc sorry sorry ya'll i just needed to vent#anyways#osomatsu san#osomatsu-san#mr. osomatsu#Karamatsu#Karamatsu Matsuno#Akuma Karamatsu#Beelzebub Karamatsu#fan art#my art#little shop of horrors ref#anyone is free to go wild in the tags i love reading that shit lol#btw i am probably never gonna draw something this nuts ever again holy shit that took forever#worth it but daaamnn dude never again unless you pay me
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hey, random person on the internet, maybe don't do this?
#shoot from the hip#sorry if this is a little too serious :(#but it really is something that annoys me#like I just don't get how people find this funny#am I just taking things too seriously? probably#is it just a small edit that doesn't warrant a whole post to be made about it? again probably#is it a good use of my time and energy to get mad at the person for making the edit? absolutely not#but frankly I don't care#between this and that one “racism” edit on luke's page I'm getting tired of humouring these people's malicious edits#I was able to revert the edit almost immediately so it didn't *really* matter#but it's more so the fact that someone did this to begin with that really bothers me#this fandom is incredible and I'm in no way accusing anyone on here of doing this#honestly I just need a place to vent about my frustration#anyways rant over#(man I hate being serious like this lol praying to god that serious junyu never appears on this blog again)
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feeling very grateful for the cute barista today who clearly clocked a) my fontaines d.c. tote, and b) the fact i was stuck on a spectacularly bad date, and proceeded to play me an entire playlist of fontaines d.c. and sneak me extra vegan marshmallows with my hot chocolate
#an absolute GEM 💗#we need more people in the world like this#they restored my faith in humanity 🙏#unlike my date#who was… well. i’ve been on worse ones i guess#but he monologued at me for a two and a half hours#and on the rare times i actually managed to get a word in edge ways or voice an opinion#he just twisted it round to suit what he’d been saying#it REALLY annoyed me#the entire thing annoyed me actually#i am so sick and tired of going on dates with straight white men who feel the need to explain everything to you#as if you’re not a person with a mind and experiences of your own#also wtf is the point on going on a date with someone when you aren’t remotely interested in getting to know them???#the man asked me maybe two questions total the entire afternoon#i could write his entire fucking biography#also at the end he said how cool and mysterious i was#and i’m like ????#i’m only mysterious because you’d prefer me to be that than an actual person who you could have had a proper conversation with#*breathes out slowly*#phew okay i was angrier about this than i thought lol#the older i get the less tolerance i have for shit like this 🫠#anyway yeah sorry#vent over 😅#i’m just so annoyed because i have SUCH limited energy atm with my pain and fatigue etc and i just wasted it on him ffs#but then again#the cute barista and the fontaines d.c. and the marshmallows were most definitely not a waste of my energy#they totally saved my day honestly 🙏#fontaines d.c.#lulu posts
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It's crazy to me that my doctors often criticize me for having "medical anxiety" but i never really had medical anxiety (to this extent at least) before I moved here and started seeing the doctors at this practice, where upon learning that I have a mental illness that has psychosis elements, would literally NEVER miss a chance to try to convince me that ALL my physical health issues are just a figment of my imagination, psychosis, or my apparent desire for attention ... (and like, not to mention they would oftentimes refuse to test or treat me unless i first "lost a bunch of weight"). My PCP once tried to convince me i must not be taking my mental health meds and that's why i "thought" i was having these health concerns... and like, belittling me to the point where I was told, point blank, to my face: "I'm not testing you for lyme Disease because it would be a waste of resources and you cannot possibly have it" (his exact words), despite my growing up and living in NEW ENGLAND, as well as one of the lyme disease capitols of the world, my dad being a deer hunter and having lyme disease himself, also having a bunch of symptoms that maybe could be other things too but were definitely in-line with lyme disease, but yeah, because I have a mental health disorder I must be just looking for attention 🙄 Now I avoid going to the doctor and when I do, I just downplay all my health concerns, even tho some are pretty serious and have a very negative impact on my day to day life.
Oh, the irony of being belittled by doctors for having "medical anxiety" when they were the ones who gave me medical anxiety in the first place lol
#funky's personal tag#delete later#sorry just venting lol#I need to go to dr to get some stuff checked out but i'm STRESSING#because I'm so used to these doctors literally trying to convince me i'm 'crazy' lol#anyway. I think it's high time i switch to another practice...#I just hate that whole process lol#also: All the medical practices in my local area talk to each other#so I'm scared nothing will really change even if I DO change practices -.-#anywayyyyyyy such is life#anyway. sorry for getting personal on the tolkien blog lol#just venting to the void
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Pedri: Gavi is a perfect cinnamon roll who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life!
Robert: Never done anything wrong?! He set a city block on FIRE!
#sorry about the hiatus again lol (small vent at the end of the tags because i need to scream into the void)#source: perchance generator#incorrect football quotes#incorrect soccer quotes#incorrrect quotes#barça#barca#barcelona#fc barcelona#fc barça#fc barca#fcb#pedri#pedri gonzalez#pedro gonzález lópez#gavi#pablo gavi#pablo gavira#gavi/pedri#pedri/gavi#robert lewandowski#lewandowski#vent time! bro high school fucking sucks#two weeks in and im so stressed i got sick#failed two of my ap stats quizzes because he doesnt fucking teach and he didnt like my explanations even though they were right#ive already had 4 tests and an essay and ive got part two of my stats test tomorrow#i just really want a break man#anyway ill try to post more quotes now that ive kind of gotten back into the groove of things
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I’m a trans man that recently got diagnosed with hyper mobile eds, so now seeing Steve makes me extra happy, because cool disabled ftm rep. Thanks for making the radical dude bro, he’s funky.
same disability (waving hand emoji)
Always extremely fulfilling to know my work makes people happy in some small way, it means a lot. Thank you for sharing with me
#I dont talk about having eds cause its not specifically really relevant to my work#been diagnosed with it since 17. woag 10 years next april...#anyways. yeah idk I like the blog to be about my art and I'm used to people asking me a LOT of questions about EDS or disability or canes#just a lot of stuff unrelated to my art. I'm happy to talk about it but I don't want it to be the focus of my blog!#So I've p much chosen to mostly just. not talk about it. even though I'm literally fine talking about it#it's just rarely relevant and no one needs to know LOL#but. I also know that EDS can feel very lonely#and that it's really nice to know other people out there have it#so. hi anon you're not alone#also just in case. literally don't feel bad about anything in the tags here LOL#mostly just like 'please people do not start sending me asks about whether or not you should go to the doctor'#or asks about ableist family members#or venting about pain...#just a lot of invasive and boundary crossing asks the more I talk about it hahahah#but I don't mind sharing at all.#sorry I think I lost the plot on this one#good luck on your journey. starting to accomodate yourself does wonders#and really just extremely happy my work could reach you in this way#sending you love#asks#anon
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A comic about doing the dishes
#polly draws#vent art#comic#seal fursona#which I guess I have now. lol#anyway sorry about the emo art lately but in my defense my therapist says its a good outlet so#Cleaning makes me spiral a bit but I NEED TO GET BACK TO IT BLURGH#man.
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GOD people in the cr fandom piss me off sometimes.
#jfc y’all#i just think some people need to realize the inherent difference dnd has as a medium from other pieces of media#‘ohh this story is missing well-written plot points and character interactions’#which first of all is wrong#but also. IT’S FUCKING IMPROV.#OF COURSE IT DOESN’T PLAY OUT AS SMOOTHLY AS A TV SHOW THAT’S PRE WRITTEN AND REHEARSED FOR MONTHS OR YEARS BEFORE WE SEE THE FINAL PRODUCT#anyways. tell me you’ve never played dnd without telling me you’ve never played dnd.#sorry i’ll shut up now i know i complain a lot there’s just a lot of things to complain about lol#vent#eli.posts
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today is such a stark contrast to yesterday in how much i fucking hate today (vent/rant in tags bc i forgor to do it on my vent one)
#[🔮] rambles ~#lmfao you speak up in this household? WRONG. MISTAKE. HOW DARE YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.#expressing your thoughts? fucking blasphemy#“oh you do know you can tell me anything anytime right? ” what a joke#gods#fuck this shit#you know what i need to learn properly? keeping my mouth fucking shut. keeping my thoughts to myself.#why do i even bother#I LITERALLY DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING#just you know spoke the truth which is apparently forbidden or smth#its not my fault shes a hypocrite????? cant accept the truth thats her fucking problem#honestly i genuinely cant think of an adult around me who isnt a hypocrite but im sure there hopefully is#and then she comes again all sweet sickly smiles expecting me to shower her with love the next moment after being fucking scolded like hell#for saying ome single fucking line of my thoughts that she so encourages me to “express”#as if everything is my fucking fault#atp i hate myself as much too bc why do i let myself get affected i should have grown used to this shit years ago#i should know better than to let her get to me yet look at me being a sentimental lil bitch#god i just wanna get out of here please#anyways shit this didnt go to my vent blog fuck im sorry yall had to read that guys please feel free to ignore lmao#but yk i had to get my feelings out somewhere bc wwll i bottle up enough already lol#tw vent
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AAAARRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
#im so annoyed rn#Rant incoming im sorry i apparently needed to vent#HOW TF I ABSOLUTELY SUCK AT ONE OF MY FAVORITE CLASSES#like i really really find this interesting. i love to study it. i love to do the work sheets (not so much rn bc im failing it miserably)#SO HOW AM I NOT ABLE TO DO A SINGLE PROBLEM!?!?!? like this is getting ridiculous#like.... this is so sad#i actually like this. and tbh in my whole college journey there weren't that many classes i loved like this#idk this really makes me sad to be honest. bc it's one of those classes that i did try#<- it's the class that im retaking bc i failed it last year btw.#like last year i was so fucking depressed and hated my degree sm and this was the first class to make me feel the *joy of learning*TM again#and i failed it#but like miserably#and now im studying it again and im failing the easiest problems... from the first chapter#anyways dw about me - at least this is smth i actually enjoy and i want to know so it's not as painful to study#it just pains me that im naturally good at many stuff and this is not one of that stuff#arghh. gotta go watch a little bit of masterchef and go back to studying ig#aj rambles#<- lol forgot this tag
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current editing moodboard, please send help
#perfectionism is really kicking my butt rn#that and the fact i had like a week away from writing properly bc chronic pain and now i can’t get back into the headspace#so yeah#perfectionism and brain fog#the inimitable duo#and i know i just need to be patient because it’ll get in the end there like it always does#but rn i’ve spent two nights in a row trying to polish up the last bits of this chapter#and i still just feel so detached from it all i want to pitch my laptop out the window#but i can’t afford a new laptop each time i want to defenestrate it#so this little rant will have to do instead#UGH#it’s so annoying because i am actually so so proud of this chapter and have loved writing it and can’t wait to share it#it’s just this last little bit that i seem to be hitting a brick wall with#anyway sorry#four walls readers don't worry i go through this just about every chapter lol#i'm just feeling it particularly this time because it's a particularly big chapter (both in terms of length and content)#and sometimes venting in the tags and creating an alex moodboard is very therapeutic#writing stuff#alex turner#writer's block#lulu posts
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fake ass idgafer im gonna kms
#the way im like lol&lmao chill who cares i hate having close relationships with people ayooo 🤪✌️���🤙#and then the second she shows a single hint of being disappointed with me as a friend i lose my fucking mind#on all level except physical i am on my knees begging her not to leave me or ill kms#physically tho im like 'damn sorry yeah no you're right. r we ok tho? ok cool. slay even <33' while my hands are literally shaking 🤡#its just cause i know ill never be able to form a friendship like this with anyone ever again. we've been besties since we were like 14? 13?#and back then i didnt yet have this pathological fear of getting close to people. but its not possible for me to create such bonds now#(with one exception maybe but thats a different thing completely and god knows ive fucked it up along the way too)#so like if i dont have her im alone 🤡#which is stupid because its not like i ever tell her about my issues or whats bothering me or how i feel etc#so i dont really get like much support or sth from this relationship cause i dont let myself ask for it which 🤡 but anyway#its the stability and the calm of knowing you Have A Best Friend and that no matter what happens with other people you'll always have her#she's the only constant in my life that's been here since i was a kid and wow. see i dont need therapy i can just vent on tumblr#and accidentally come to the same conclusions for free#wow. im insane lmao i would be such a good blorbo for someone look at me im pathetic shsgsjahakah
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Long shitpost silly vent and conspiracy theory for funsies:
I'm really tired of UI being simplified to symbols on every website and program and app, especially on PC, but especially-especially on mobile when I click 'desktop view' on my browser. Where'd my text go? I want the text. Give me the text. I don't want to be bombarded by every site's minimalistic takes on mobile-friendly web design, and the same 5 symbols and 3 new ones. We're like three generations off from people knowing firsthand that the save icon is a floppy disk. I don't even click the save icon when I'm on PC. I don't even remember the last time I clicked one when I had the option to do anything else, because I'd rather use the text menu. Like, I use the keyboard shortcut or I click file>save. I'm not clicking a fucking modern hieroglyph in Corporation A's visual icon dialect. ('Dialect'? Icon dialect. Dialex-icon. Idk.)
I miss you, text-based internet.
I miss you, text-based PC operating system. (Windows 7. I'm using hyperbole here.)
Details and long-form content are being pushed aside by 60-second summaries and abbreviated/sanitized representations of images and ideas, by corporations dictating how the digital world should function. Also, fuck censoring words to be advertisement-friendly.
Anyway, I'm sick of deciphering what new random minimalist symbols are supposed to represent. There is a bottom line to minimalism, and right now, this is what the internet, UI in general, and web design feels like to me:
It's fucking flat.
Next thing you know, they'll take the snake out, too. The Obsolete Snake.
Then after that, in a digital world of shapeless, entirely minimalist colour, you'll have to decipher meaning from a highly specific colour used to convey a wide range of meanings depending on its digital value, and the colour shown before and after it. Let's call it hex-icon (like 'lexicon'), after the limited hex-code characters (0-6, A-F) used to comprise digital colour.
Can I call dibs on this highly specific colour as my new corporate-aesthetic-friendly minimalist username??
((Naming yourself after popular media is a trans rite-of-passage and I missed out the first time by renaming myself before I knew my gender.))
But wait, that's a highly incendiary colour!! Don't you know that #FF06B5 is associated with an anti-corporate agenda? You can't pick that colour as a name on an internet owned and operated by the censorship overlords. Dangerous ideas like that are a violation of the Terms of Service. This post cannot be monetized. Name yourself something more family-friendly. That shade of magenta is too indecent. Think of the children.
> Try again.
*record scratch*....Hol' up. You kno... You know what... I was gonna assign myself a less fruity colour, and then I realized I was about to implement some kind of colour-based naming caste system, where only certain tones are allowed as names depending on your status, and aberrant colours are disallowed due to controversy. Suddenly, the Homestuck quote I just used makes sense for the direction I was headed with Cyberpunk 2077 magenta (fuschia, AKA a royal blood colour in Homestuck) being forbidden in hexicon.
The saying was right: every so often someone does reinvent Homestuck. I just went about it from a moebius double reacharound direction. Thankfully, I have the Homestuck experience to tell me when I've arrived at the solution.
(That's enough internet for today, lmao.)
Tldr; say no to corporate user-shiterface. Don't let detail become obsolete. Consume long-form media again. Stop encouraging sanitized minimalist content. Or else I'll see you in the roof, #413612. Can't abscond, bro!
Appendix:
One last important message in hexicon for everyone. Because I know, you know, you want to know, how to say this one. It sure is a beautiful colour to display vibrantly towards the ever simplifying internet.
#read the alt text for more explanation if u want. i typed a lot there#im like one more shitty minimalist experience away from programming my own version of Bro's Comple Bullshit Content Aggregator browser#i need maximalism. everything all the time. no more shitty little simplified icons. its like infantilizing design and i hate it#a word and an icon is fine. but a minimalized symbol? put the cuboid block into the square hole. yay.#anyway i had fun making this post.#sorry for the shitty letter kerning im on my phone doing all of this or else id have put my art degree to use to make it NEAT#also like. imagine the possibilities if minimalist symbols were not used. you know that 'photos' icon? its always a mountain range and sun?#what if those mountains were fucking volcanos instead? yknow? doesnt even have to be a landscape either#im sick of conformity#ShitPost.exe#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#vent#but like a serious and joke vent#long post#was gonna post this on twitterX but its got HS references so thatll be more relevant on tumblr plus all the pics#its better-suited to a text post than a string of tweets lol#censorship#homestuck#cyberpunk 2077#c77#sorry for putting main tags im just doing it so ppl can filter it out bc i mention it a bunch#hexicon#also like on my phone the first thing i did when i got this one was install a theme so i didnt have to see the minimalist icons#its still minimal but its like vhs aes themed so its not basic. fuck the metaphorical white and beige walls of deisgn#ill die before i become a cookie cutter human being#i was born with jagged edges and im not gonna file them down to fit in#parental advisory: nonconformist culture#seriously tho like i want to see personality in more aspects of life as well. not just digital design.
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sighs and collapses and disintegrates into the wind
#Seven’s Public Diary#vent post#cw vent post#ah yes. another restless nights sleep in a cold room bc i was too upset and sick to eat enough yesterday and my nightmares won’t let up and#my heater isn’t enough to warm the room when it’s this fucking cold outside. but it’s fine bc i don’t think i deserve to be warmer anyway#i should get water but i’ve been stuck laying here for an hour wondering if im racist and feeling like i should just. leave. or smthn. idk#i need a caregiver so there’s someone here to stop me from doomscrolling tumblr and reddit discourse for two hours before bed. lol#but ig no matter how careful i try to be there’ll always be part of me thats. unconsciously? racist? bc im white so its just part of me#idk im not educated enough to talk about it so i guess the real lesson to learn here is to keep my fucking mouth shut. which i can do!#i don’t. know how to apologize correctly. bc no one wants to hear me piss and moan abt my white guilt. if that’s what it even is#im too stupid to understand what to do or say and the more i type the worse it sounds so im just. sorry. i apologize for anything i’ve said#or done. that wasn’t right or was insensitive or thoughtless or uneducated or. whatever else it is i rlly don’t know#i didn’t mean to use AAVE. i really didn’t know. so i’ll go edit the tag where i used it but. that’s only one example. how many more am i#unaware of? how often do i put my foot in my mouth and not know it? im sorry. i’ll try to do better#but there’s so much to be mindful of that i can’t keep track of it all and it’s overwhelming me so i think i should just. be quiet.#‘always a fanfic writer at the scene of the crime’ i. didn’t know there was a connection between racism and fanfic. now im worried#was that just an easy jab to make bc it’s cringe or is it actually problematic. why does it seem like theres smthn wrong w everything i do#anyways. i have to stop thinking abt it or im gonna anxiety vomit. i could go lay on the couch#it in the only warm room of the house but it’s covered in dog hair and i hate the smell from the stupid fucking propane heater#it gives me a headache and makes me paranoid. why did he install gas heat when he could’ve gone with a heat pump. all he did was make#everything harder on everybody. so now we have dangerous gas heat in the winter and shitty mold-filled window ac units in the summer#when he could’ve installed a heat pump/ac unit combo thingy and we would’ve been good to go. why is he like this.#YOURE A GODDAMN ELECTRICIAN. HAVE BEEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT. SO ACT LIKE IT.#im staying in bed. the rest of the house reeks of burnt plastic bc SOMEONE decided to take FOUR sedatives and drink a couple beers before#trying to use the stove to cook dinner :))) so now i have to figure out how to clean that up. i take back everything i said about winter#being my favorite season. this shit fucking sucks. there’s so much more to stress over and it’s all so much more expensive and exhausting#i never want another dog or cat ever again after these two pass. im not the person i once was and i cannot care for them like i used to.#i can’t even care for myself. couldn’t if i Wanted to right now bc everything is frozen solid. can’t shower. can’t do any laundry.#just get to sit here filthy cold and miserable in the one clean-ish sweater i have left for ? days until temps get back above freezing#anyways thats enough bitching abt my first world problems. time to shut up and be grateful for what i Do have bc it could be a Lot worse
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tfw you go through an entire day waiting for meetings/calls/people to get back to you just to find 30 minutes before you were supposed to do any given thing that it’s been cancelled so now you’ve wasted the better part of your day waiting & preparing for stuff that didn’t even end up happening and now you have work you have to be doing instead of doing something else that’s actually enjoyable . 🙂
#vent#vagueposting#not about anyone on here but shrug emoji#sigh. I’m so tired of being the person who puts in all the effort to organize stuff with my friends who seem to not care at all.#and I’m so tired of being committed to things that it seems like no one else is#it’s just. disheartening#I don’t usually vent on here but I don’t feel like confronting anyone and I don’t wanna make any of my friends listen to my Woes#I do that too much#so. sorry about the negativity anyone who sees this I just needed to scream into the void for a second ya know#it’s just . it’s not anyone’s fault and shit comes up and people are sometimes just like that. so it’s fine.#but it makes me tired and it stops me from doing stuff I want to be doing#which I know that’s a me problem and partially an executive dysfunction problem and I wish I was able#to not spend all day psyching myself up for an interaction and be able to just drop it and say whatever when it doesn’t end up happening#but that’s not something I can fix in the short run yanno#so. vagueing about it on tumblr I guess is the safest option lol#anyways. back to your regularly scheduled programming as soon as I get out of art block dont worry#I say as if anyone’s gonna read this lol#honestly I hope no one does I’m kind of in a Debbie downer mood rn and I don’t like being like that. which is why I’m putting it here ig#shrug emoji
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