#anyway sorry I don’t wanna post it on here but I just need to vent it somewhere. I’ll prob delete it soon.

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Hey in case y’all were wondering I’m having a bad time

[awek-s]

hm

[superlocrians]

18th october , 2024　 ୨ৎ　9:43 pm

i didn’t study, but that wasn’t on my to-do. today i did my one and only quest, clean my room. i’m glad i did. it took me a ridiculous amount of time considering i only needed to put my clothes in the hampers (don’t judge, i was practicing my accepting a grammy speech.) quests tomorrow include:

• study english 3 for at least one hour

• catch up in reading plan

• complete morning routine and all side quests

• start little women (side quest)

im also filming a “one second of my day” video, where there’s one second clips of each different thing i do in a day. i might post that or i might not. very tired, goodnight now!

- porda

oh my goodness there’s this boy at my job and he’s so pretty but he doesn’t work until next sunday and i don’t work sundays anymore.

tw // calorie counting, mentions of eating disorders, venting

i just looked at the caloric content of the food in the chipotle app and holy @#$%&! no wonder i’ve gained 7 pounds since i’ve worked here. i’ll just pay closer attention to what im eating and it’ll go away in no time.

i will try to pacify my hunger with copious amounts of water. i just wanna lose a bit before the holidays really kick in. but when they do i’ll just only eat poorly at events because i have a weak immune system anyway and get sick quickly when i eat lots of junk. it is upsetting im only 10lbs away from overweight. i dont look big. sigh, just frustrated with myself and my impulsive and practically constant binge eating.

i realized in at my highest weight ever (bmi 23) which is certainly a reality check since i’ve always been in the 16s-19s. i tried to eat healthier today which was sort of a fail, lol? i did follow paleo today. tomorrow at work ill just get a salad with double chicken, salsa, sour cream, and cheese and only drink water. that’ll just be 10.3 carbs and 590 calories. that’ll keep me satiated until the end of my shift.

i don’t want to go back to my old ways of punishing myself with no food and barely eating anything and wanting to look so so thin. i don’t want that anymore. but i worry that now when i try to cut some calories i may fall back into my old disordered ways. sigh. i just pray about this all.

i also feel so lost and confused. i know (i think??) i want to go to college but i feel so insecure. i don’t feel smart. i completely doubt my academic capabilities. i’ve been looking at colleges today. do i want a jazz studies degree, a music education degree, a seminary degree or something completely different???? i don’t know. i feel so lost and confused as i previously stated. i also don’t know if i want to move to my dad’s or stay here. it’s been a topic of conversation—since my siblings are on my dad’s side. i feel so torn in every direction. i wish i could drive but i never want to. i must sleep now. sorry if you read this lol, just my ramblings.

[scruffyssketchbook]

RAMBLES OF A VERY TIRED AUTHOR CHAN #I lost track bro

Kind of random post, sorry!!! Might delete later 😋 idk

I originally said here that this wasn’t a vent post but it might be one after all oops. (I’m sorry I’m an over-sharer and this is my ramble blog.)

(Trigger Warning- grooming? Pedo behavior?)

So I think I mentioned this here before (like years before, idk), but there is this guy who has been stalking me for forever now or whatever. Like, he’s basically the reason I don’t accept friend requests from people I don’t know on Discord and made it so only friends can message me, cause this man would pretend to be other people to talk to me. Anyways, on one of his MANY alts that he uses to send messages to me, he basically admitted to grooming me in the Pedo way when I was a minor!!! Fun 🥰🥰🥰🥰 (this is sarcasm)

But like, that literally explains SO MUCH OF THE THINGS IN SSEC, LIKE WHAT????

Like obviously I am not going in detail of the things that were in SSEC cause it makes me uncomfortable, but it does explain a lot of it, and seeing how afterwards I proceeded to get groomed by 2 other people back to back to BACK, LIKE. For one thing

I definitely feel like the tonal shift in the series was due to all of these events. Of course, I’m not going to get into every bad thing that happened to me due to being a naive girl making a stupid pokemon webcomic (sadly it’s a lot lol), but like, I didn’t even realize that I was groomed by multiple people until I was in my 20’s. (I mean, I am in my 20’s right now, but you know) and I literally was not aware that stalker man was being a pedo towards me when I was a minor until he admitted to me that he was being one- RECENTLY.

I do feel like how SSEC ultimately turned out was due to all of this. For the longest time, I was just surrounded by a lot of negativity. And, I kind of just kind of have the natural inclination to help people or be kind to people, and that ultimately just caused people to see that and use me over and over and over again, causing both the tonal shift in SSEC as well as me closing myself more and more off to people, which- really sucks honestly. (And only now I realize that that is literally the same thing that happened to Vay, wtf)

Like- I want friends. Nothing Romantic, no strings attached, no weird power dynamics, just PLATONIC friends. But I’m extremely shy and awkward, and ofc, extremely closed off ^^;;; So it’s pretty hard for that to happen, I guess.

But I suppose that is why I like/obsess about Box 31 so much.

Box 31 is basically just wish fulfillment for me.

Because, like. The only thing I’ve ever really wanted, the thing I have been looking for, for years, are friends. And, the whole story of box 31 are outcasts making friends, and supporting each other, and growing together, and that makes me very very happy.

Living vicariously through my characters!!! I want them to be happy, I want them to smile, I want others to smile too!!! I don’t want to keep drawing sad things, yeah I like drama, there will be drama in Box 31, but in ssec it’s just so endless. I always wanted the characters to be happy at the end, but where is that end if there is an endless sea of issues?

Idk. I just remember me being freshly 18, crying on the ground (cringe ik) to my way older roommate that I just wanted friends, and I wonder if things would have been better if someone just took my hand and became the friend I needed at the time instead of me becoming totally isolated and the stalker using that to get closer to me.

Idk 😋 as I said, might delete later 😋 just kinda a bit cringe lmao

I just wanna keep drawing my Stupid Silly Eeveelutions~ la la laa

Oh. Speaking of that actually.

[coochellati]

Dude where did the good old "You do you I do I, we don't do each other" philosophy go when someone doesn't like a headcanon or disagrees with them? When will they find the block button?💀 I swear in these years people harass each others over this even more than before. You (general you) don't agree with me on a character's sexuality hc? Good for you. Like genuinely, what happened?

BTW another stupid stuff but I once saw an anon on a blog accusing female selfshippers of homophobia for... writing fics about fucking male fictional characters who apparently are queer? (Sorry if I can't say the word 🙈) Like I'm sorry for wanting to fuck a FICTIONAL character. They forgot that fanworks won't erease anything from canon. I loved how others obliterated anon.

If someone hcs Bruno gay? I'm happy for you! Do it!!! Just don't harass me either for shipping myself with him.

I swear people truly forgot the "don't like don't read" principle smh

Sorry for the vent Jovia!!! 🙈 but I swear people become stupider the years go by -_-

BTW how are you? Sending you lots of love <3

absolute MOOD.

SORRY for getting back to this so late—I know your ask came in shortly after I posted this, so I assume it is kind of in reference to that post?

I totally agree—I don’t really care what others do/headcanon/etc as long as it doesn’t affect me.

As for homophobia accusations… damn. I think something people need to keep in mind is that you don’t have to be straight to be attracted to the opposite gender. (For instance, bisexuality??) Araki has not actually established a canon sexuality for Bruno, so it really is up to anyone’s interpretation. If you see him as straight, then he’s straight. If you see him as gay, then he’s gay. (etc……)

…And having a headcanon that a certain character is straight doesn’t mean you’re invalidating anyone who isn’t straight. A headcanon is a headcanon, not a fact. (Same with my headcanons.)

Harassment isn’t cool. I’m lucky to have not gotten any hate for self-shipping, but I can’t say the same for others in the community. Certain fandoms seem to get it worse than others, and while I can’t entirely speak on behalf of the JoJo’s fandom, I just wish folks would let us be. All we wanna do is have fun—it is AWESOME being attracted to a fictional character 😭 (I genuinely love this little hobby of mine.)

Others’ gatekeeping is the reason I try to be as inclusive as possible here. MISS ME WITH THAT NEGATIVITY SHIT 💀 THIS BLOG IS ABOUT SHARING THE LOVE OF SIMPING FOR BRUNO WITH EVERYONE!!!

Anyway. TL;DR, people gotta let us selfshippers be 😭

(Not important, but if anyone is curious, I see Bruno as pan. I don’t see him picking a partner based on their sexuality, rather, I believe he would choose a partner for person that they are. And it is totally cool if you don’t agree with me.)

thank you for the ask! <3

[katzmultiverse]

being depressed is so fun! people thinking you wanna die is so fun! being in a shifting slump is so fun! hating all your irls for leaving for tech school is so fun! mom and dad not listening is so fun! hating everything once loved is so fun!

anyways, i’m working on the next chapter of my fic that’s based on my dr but i’m having some writers block help i can’t do slow burn

but also the whole shifting slump thing tends to be a whole part of the journey, and taking a break from it could actually help a lot of my problems. i think shifting and thinking about how i’m so lonely in this reality is really the main thing that’s causing me to struggle. i shouldn’t be completely relying on shifting to my dr to bring me happiness, i should start finding it here. easier said than done though.

sorry guys i needed to rant 😕🙏 no i did not need to vent i was not “venting” i was RANTING god i hate when people are like “you can vent to me don’t worry this is a safe space 🥺” I Do not care. you are not my therapist, i will not vent to you. however, i WILL rant. i will not tell anyone but my therapist (and tumblr) of anything i do not want to discuss with my friends. it doesn’t matter if i’ve known them my entire life, i don’t even tell my sister what goes down in therapy. mom can ask all she wants, but at the end of the day, THERAPY IS FOR THINGS YOU CANT SAY TO YOUR FAMILY

i will literally be sitting at the table for dinner after we’ve said the blessing and mommy dearest will ask how therapy went and what we chatted about. mom that ain’t any of your business. i don’t even want other people to tell me about how THEIR sessions went, like bro keep that between you and your therapist. what’s the point of having one if you’re just gonna yap about it to all your friends??

i’m 100% gonna post shit like this in my dr too tbh like only on tumblr tho cause like… i ain’t gonna post jack shit on twitter and insta is literally for pics why the hell would i shitpost there

anyways bye i’m gonna try to not puke 😊😊😊

[cheeryoss]

i just spent like an jour or two on call with someone i didnt rlly wanna call the only person i feel comfortable calling is my cousin and one of my friends everyone else i feel forced to bring energy. the girl i called with his pretty funny but like she never responds to anything i say and i get cut off alot. and its just like. i dont know shes so self centered i can’t believe i had a crush on her. i really hate when im cut off.

also i called my mom to tell her about hosa and okay. i love her but she acts like she knows everything about me no you fucking don’t im not some shy girl who can’t talk to people at all anymore. i can when i need to you dont know me.

anyway i HATE school . i think i may end up a no one and homeless or just. i dont know my thoughts are getting really negative as of late and this just i dont think this is me,???? usually im so positive and i know the steps to better myself but this time i just have no energy and I actually don’t see a very bright future for myself but also i know logically that’s probably not true. my grades are good and i have a decent stack of academic achievements so ill probably get inro some good college or university and then get an alright career. but then what? i marry a man, have kids, and end up doing nothing.

i dont wanr to live like that. i need to die proud of myself. i think thats another reason I haven’t killed myself.

sorry this vent is so lame i think i just went on to go on about something. infact, i dont even really like centing in online spaces because of how harmful it is. ill get stuck in some negative feedback loop because of the content i post and my blog being full of this. its just not wise. but i dont know where else to go with tgese thoughts? when i bottle them up i just cry. I haven’t gone one day without crying in a long while. im not telling my mother i need a therapist, and quite frankly they dont even look that useful. so its just me who has to fix this. but im really worried I can’t. that’s my biggest fear. ill just end up a failure to past me, present me, and future me. my family and friends too, everyone whose ever complimented me.

I started this off with wanting to throw a decoration piece in my living room but now tears just came out.

i dont think ill ever be loved. not in some main character “AGGHG IM SO UNLOVABLE” but just like. i think im boring. Aand im not super pretty. In the romantic sense, that is. But i guess the platonic way also, but im not gonna sit here and act like thats not the case. I know i have my mother, and my friend/cousin, my other friend but truthfully i dont know who else.

i act like love is this big thing and i only love a select amounr of people, but i think i love anyone i get close to. i actually think i can love alot of things. i dont wanna be selective anymore. i wanna love alot. i wannna live a life where i can confidently say i love tons of things. i wanna love. love is the main thing keeping me

I wanna get better for everyone i love. I dont want to fail and they have to see it. I want them to know things can and will get better if you try.

im crying now but im so sorry to everyone ive ever hurt i love you i really do

[alaskan-wallflower]

INTRO POST

Blog(s)

Hey!

I’m in many fandoms though I’m most active in The Outsiders fandom!

I post hot takes, headcanons, and random shit that fits my mood. I vent occasionally but always tag them accordingly, so block #vent or any trigger warnings you may have. I like to be interactive with my followers, so if you wanna add onto any headcanons or you feel like you wanna submit a headcanon to me go right ahead! This is a Kyle centric blog for the most part though so do keep that in mind.

ANY AND ALL CHARACTERS IN FICS OR OTHERWISE ARE 16+ UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE.

I have a few blogs that I run!

My polls blog (I’m always willing to take suggestions/requests, so just send them over there!)

For those worried about the Outsiders/BG allegations (asks are always open if you have questions or you just need to talk it through)

Roleplay Blog (Asks are open!!)

Art Blog (Requests are open!)

Go give them a follow if you’re interested!!

Blog Rules

I am not a shipper. At all. So please do not interact with me about any ship. It makes me uncomfortable unless it’s a canon ship. Sorry.

I’m okay with anyone dming me! however keep in mind I’m going on 17 and if that makes you uncomfortable then keep your own boundaries in mind.

Do not talk anything NSFW with me either. It will be an immediate block and report because while I am almost 17, I am still a minor. And I do not engage with any NSFW activity.

Roleplay

I do roleplay! I do self inserts and x reader roleplays. I don’t do shipping roleplay between the characters though. And I only do double up roleplay though. So keep that in mind.

Roleplay Rules

I tend to be picky about who/how I roleplay so here are some rules

Absolutely do not roleplay with me if you are below sixteen. If you are below sixteen and I find out you are lying about your age it will be an immediate block and report. I do not feel comfortable with doing role play with anyone younger than me. I’m warning you now.

Nothing NSFW, nor spicy things. No making out, no taking off any clothes, no touching private parts, nothing like that. I have bad experiences with that kind of stuff and it can be triggering for me and it just makes me uncomfortable.

I don’t just do romantic stuff but I do platonic stuff too! So don’t feel confined to just romance! I am perfectly okay with self inserting and OCs.

All characters MUST be aged up to at least 17 if you are doing romance.

If you have any other questions about boundaries feel free to ask!

Outro

So that’s basically all I’ve got! If you have any other questions, put them in the notes or you can DM me. Anyway, feel free to talk to me or submit headcanons!! I would love to interact with you guys!! Hope you like my blog!!

[vectorwife]

all I wanna say is if you take selfshipping so personally as a non-selfshipper and act like we’re ruining characters for you or we aren’t allowed to selfship…I’m sorry but you need to get a grip because we are inherently not hurting anyone

there’s more passion put into characters by selfshippers/yumes than anyone else. I said what I said. The fact there’s like this anti-selfshipping sentiment is annoying because why? Why do you care?

anyway I feel EXTREMELY left out here and like there’s this clique I’m not a part of. I don’t do fandoms anyway because they’re dumpster fires from my experience. Sure there’s a lot of great shit but the drama is disgusting over like. animated movies lmaoo

and then you see anti-yume sentiment and that seriously is just. weird.

allow me to vent a moment, sorry. I’m 90% of the time a happy and positive person but I take Vector 100% seriously and it’s a trigger when people act like I’m wrong for it. No one should get triggered by petty Internet stuff for god’s sake.

anyway, rant over. I wanna be active here but for my mental health I’ll probably treat it like Tiktok and just post and run. fyi.

[littlebluemercurian]

You guys wanna hear me rant about Misophonia? Well I’m gonna rant anyways.

Yesterday i cried. I almost had a breakdown in Piano class because of two boys talking loudly. I realized by now that i had Misophonia, the thing that has been haunting me for years now. so i did the most logical thing and told my teacher about it. Easy peasy right?

She told me to stop overreacting and to grow up…

Now I don’t mean to be the party pooper at all here or a drama queen at this matter but how to tell someone that you are not overreacting and just have Misophonia to someone who is absolutely oblivious to all of this.

AND I KID YOU NOT THAT IS NOT THE ONLY CLASS THAT THIS HAPPENS TO ME!

The only time i can actually be a normal person is in art class…

yes I’m serious. These kids with me are like the best classmates that haven’t made me wanna cry or internally scream, and I absolutely love every single one of them for that. Thank you for keeping me sane.

I haven’t even been able to finish my work in most classes anymore-

The kids in my history class make wanna go jump off a window. In Biology these jocks and those mean girls gossipers decide to ruin my day with their gossip i do not personally give a froppin about and wish they would stop.

Am I overreacting? Maybe? Am I probably ruining everyone’s day with my urge to not throw a table at a person who is chewing gum loudly or talks like no one can hear them? Most probably yeah!!

But can i control it? Absolutely the fuck not!

Somehow it’s even worse with family! When i go to someone’s house they will trigger me so bad i have to physically step away only to find out i had forgotten my headphones in my house and have no way of escaping this hell hole…

My house has become a hell hole. My mother plays music that i have suddenly become allergic to which I didn’t think was humanly possible until now and i hate it so much omfg just stop making my life worse i beg of you.

I am slowly losing control over my own life and it is absolutely torture. I’m pretty sure after a year or two my ears will decide to stop working on me at one point pls send help i am absolutely desperate.

Pls help. I have no other place to turn up to and it’s driving me mad. I beg of you. Am I normal? Why do i have to smile and put on a happy face and hide the fact that my life is spiraling out of control and that i have to act like everything is fine and that I’m not going through a crisis? I need a hug…

Ok. That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say. You could have scrolled and moved on but the fact that you read my entire rant i really appreciate you for doing so

ALSO IF YOU PIANO BOYS SEE THIS MESSAGE TAKE THE L AND STOP TALKING FOR FROPPIN SAKE!!! THIS IS WHY YOU GET DEATH STARES FROM ME EVERY FIVE SECONDS!!!

Sorry for not posting any art recently. This has been really troubling me and I’m venting here now great lol

[e77y]

relating to that vent, i getchu so bad. i feel like in general, the internet might worsen compulsions & obsession within ocd + etc. i have a similar feeling (wouldnt say identical cause i know u from tumblr n yaknow yaknow) that tells me everything i do needs to be 100% morally correct or [insert awful things] will happen to me or someone i love. and this is easier to deal with when you're offline, because there's a limit on the people that can get mad at you. half of the world won't get mad at you because only 0.00001% (or whatever) of the world knows you, yaknow. on the net, it feels like everyone who has an account knows you. your brain telly you anyone who has an account on here might see what you posted & they might be mad at you & they might make a callout post or whatever. even though they don't know you. which is a terrifying thought for many. i dont think youre alone in this, genuinely. and i feel it can be improved. some stuff that's helped me: - making separate accounts w private stuff (doesnt rly work on tumblr but like a private account on insta & etc etc) - rationalising thoughts (an example of this would be thinking: is it really likely many people will agree with someone being mad at me? or: how many people actually do see my posts? is that proportional to the amount of followers i have) - and talking ab it w friends. genuinely, the communication + processing of these thoughts & feelings is soo helpful. sending u soo much love <3 if u wanna chat a bit ab it you can dm me :) (ask can be published or responded 2 privately, whatever u prefer!)

Thank you so much for this message omg :’) ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So thoughtful. This made me tear up a little haha. I’m posting it here so I can look back at it later; hopefully that’s okay.

I’m really glad to hear other people feel the same way/have the same worry… like logically I know that it’s something a lot of people worry about, but idk; my brain has a way of convincing me I am the only person in the world who has done anything ‘bad’ ever LMAOO. So this was really nice to hear

Also I’m a very talkative person! Like I’m definitely an introvert, but I do like to talk about myself and my interests and my feelings etc. Especially when I have a forum (cough Tumblr) to post into the void 😭😭 So I guess that’s part of my issue; IRL, there are less people to be upset if I do/say something ‘bad’, and most of them are my close friends and know I don’t have bad intentions. But online, I walk on eggshells bc 1) strangers online DON’T know my intentions and 2) I just think my mutuals are really cool lol. So I don’t want to do/say anything ‘bad’ or even embarrassing in their presence yk? And online, their ‘presence’ comprises literally all the time w everything I post

I should probably make a more private account 😅 This one is kind of that (just bc it has far fewer followers than my other blog), and I have one on Instagram with like two people following it that I haven’t touched in a while, sooo maybe I will go back to that for more personal vents and whatnot 🫡 I try not to post anything TOO personal on Tumblr, anyway. I just also really like creating fan content, which sort of inherently puts me in a public space even if I don’t WANT to have an ‘audience’ (regardless of how small that audience is; ik there are people who look up to my writing, and that puts a lot of extra pressure on me, but I don’t want to stop writing, either…. Agh)

Idk this is probably overly personal and also very disjointed bc I just finished writing a 1,800 word essay and my brain is mush lol. I’m just sort of reiterating everything you said. Sorry for making you read all this lmao 😭🙏 But thank you for the kind words, seriously ❤️ I really really appreciate it :’D !!!!!!!

[tired-biscuit]

i've just seen your posts on dash biscuit and its so sad you're feeling like that :( If i'm to tell you the honest truth biscuit, I don't remember how I found your account but i remember being so intrigued and hooked immediately - I went on to read your War General Kiba (to somewhat expose myself.. I am War General Kiba anon from around a month ago) bc your writing itched my brain so fuckin good !!

It makes me so sad that uni started recently for me and I have been so caught up I haven't gotten around to reblogging war general kiba because I haven't gotten the moment to write my thoughts regarding those:( they're sitting in my drafts. I decided I would read every single one of your fics a month ago (unfortunately I haven't been able to yet) - including the naruto thirst you elaborated on for me, and though I haven't gotten time to read it, THANK YOU SO MUCH BISCUIT for taking your time out to do that :( <3

You deserve every single one of those likes , but you deserve them alongside an equal amount of reblogs :/ i sincerely hope that these followers and whatnot pull their heads out of their ass and start reblogging - because if they don't, they're not going to have anything to read. bc biscuit you are such an amazing and talented writer, and it always blows my mind we get to read your masterpieces for free. FOR FREE!!!! that is so crazy like, this is stuff that could get you MILLIONS and we have the blessing from you to type a few words onto our screens and read it! like WOW thank you so much <3 🍁 anon

oh my gosh, you’re so sweet; imma start sobbing!

listen, you don’t have to apologize for not being able to read my fics; i get it, life happens and we get busy as people and fanfiction definitely is NOT everything there is to life! so please don’t say sorry for that because there is literally no need for it, like i said. YOU’RE GOOD!

it just grinds my gears that i’m not allowed to vent on here about this particular topic because some people will INSTANTLY jump the wagon to call me ungrateful. i get it, i get notes, but people usually don’t understand that likes don’t mean shit on here and that the majority of those notes are just that: likes. sure, i get a little notif that someone liked my story, but i have no clue what they thought about it based from that heart. i have no clue if they’ve even actually read it. to make matters even worse, it makes the post just straight up fucking die.

i spend hours and hours and hours writing, editing, rereading, tweaking the same story for ages. i could just not post it and keep it to myself, sure, but i enjoy interacting with my moots and my followers in general, and giving people that share my interest in the same characters something to read about, because let’s be real; kiba is niche af. i like feeding the kiba girlies because i barely had anything to eat a couple years back when it comes to him and i’ve worked my fucking ass off for those notes over the years, SO OF COURSE I APPRECIATE THEM, OK?

this debate, or whatever you wanna call it, has been circling around here for ages and it’s useless at this point, i think... writers, artists, creators of all sorts say “please say thank you for my creation that i made for YOU after you’ve asked, i beg” and people call us ungrateful or stuck up or whatever the fuck. i mean, do people seriously think i enjoy self-reblogging all the time and begging for interaction like that robin hood meme with the cup???????? no, i do it because it is the only way people will see my work before it disappears into the ether once again, ffs!!!!!!!!

ANYWAYS, i will write a drabble for your war general!kiba ask when i have the time, i promise! i just want to actually make it good and write like a proper story instead of just my thoughts because he is very dear to me and i am a perfectionist when it comes to my royalty AU and it makes me overthink and just… yeah! he has been sitting in the back of my head, clanking his heavy weapons impatiently, lmao.

I LOVE YOU!

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

How Do I Look in This Robe?

Note: Hey guys! I’m sorry about that vent post earlier. I needed to vent a little because of what happened two hours ago. But, I’m feeling better already. But, I came up with a new fanfic idea. So, I hope some you guys enjoy it.

Here’s the new Solar Opposites WG fanfic!:

Echoes: “Adding a few pounds I see” “You used to be so skinnier” “Blue Shrek”!

Ugh! Poor Korvo couldn’t get it these thoughts out of his head. Ever since he did work, Korvo started to add a few pounds, but he then started to feel sadden over his pudgy figure. He fears that he is getter fatter and fatter. He’s scared of getting shamed over his weight by his family and he was most of all tired of being skinny.

Well it just happened. Two weeks ago, Korvo have putted on so much weight ever since he ate those junk food during and has became morbidly obese. Despite, he can still walk but then notice his robe being torn a bit.

Morbidly Obese Korvo: Damn it! Another ruined robe! Ever I since I became this blue blob, my clothes started to stretch out a little.

Terry: overhearing him Huh?

Morbidly Obese Korvo: Life has been so hard for me lately ever since two weeks ago. sigh I don’t wanna look like a sumo wrestler if this keeps happening and-

Korvo then notice one of the engines collapsing and growls in frustration as he kept on getting to work. But then, opthe oiece of the machine fell on Korvo’s robe as it sprayed all over him. The robe then tears apart as Korvo gasp.

Morbidly Obese Korvo: No! My robe! My favorite robe!

Terry: Oh no honey! What happened?

Morbidly Obese Korvo: My favorite robe is ruined! Ever since I out on so much weight, it started to tear apart. Now it’s completely ruined! crying

Terry: Aw come on Korvo, life isn’t that bad!

Morbidly Obese Korvo: I just wish I was back to the way I was Terry. Before I become this….this…blob!

Korvo continue to bawl his eyes out but Terry looks at the robe and knows what to do. Later that night, Korvo continues to weep in his sleep, remembering the good times of his skinny self before he became obese. Then Terry came in.

Terry: Oh Korvy! Look what I got for you!

Morbidly Obese Korvo: Go away! You wouldn’t want to love a giant blob anyway! I’m impossible for you to live with.

Terry: Come on! That’s not true! I-

Korvo covers himself with the blankets as he continues to cry. Terry smiles sadly as he approached Korvo with something behind his back.

Terry: Aw honey, you know that’s not true. Fat as you immediately are, you’re still the same Korvo I know and love on the inside. When I first met you, my life changed even though we didn’t choose each other, this whole mission brought us together ever since we became a real family. All I see in my eyes is a brave Shlorpian, who always put his back to those who needs him. He is very amazing, smart and very brave. The way you lead us during this mission is very amazing, and I don’t wanna live a life without my Korvo. Because, he is still standing right next to me. Right here.

Terry points at Korvo, who started to stream tears of joy in his eyes as he started crying.

Terry: So, I notice how upset you were about your robe. So, I got you something to cheer you up.

Terry gets out a new robe, now that is fit for an obese Shlorpian. Korvo smiles and puts it on as he smiles at Terry.

Morbidly Obese Korvo: So how I do really look in this robe?

Terry: I think you look wonderful sweetie.

Terry kisses Korvo as he kisses Terry back. Korvo then falls asleep as Terry covers him up with a blanket and kisses him on the forehead. Because in his eyes, underneath that huge sumo-sized Shlorpian, is his life-Korvo.

The end

also, thanks for the comfort earlier guys when I was venting. I really appreciated it. I’ll see you all real soon! Goodnight 🌙

[hecateisalesbian]

I’m still alive :/

yeah so uh @bloodied-dagger has a few things wrong about this story (my fault) so I’m gonna clear some stuff up.

After Dagger’s trip to Cali I noticed he was kinda online a little/lot less and I was wondering what was up, but I didn’t wanna so directly upfront say it, so I did send an anon ask saying “why are you so busy?” I should’ve worded it better because it does sound rude but I didn’t mean it like that. So anyway I sent him that and he responded and he was upset and I felt HELLA guilty for that for one, and I kinda forgot he had a 4th of July party that night because I have really crappy memory.

So I saw I was in the tags and I felt really bad but I didn’t want him to be mad at me because im really freaking bad with emotions and people being mad and whatever I have trauma and stuff not the point. I ended up sending another ask saying smth like “why’d u drag me into the tags” (as to sorta lighten the mood) “also I’m sure anon was just asking about cali.” So anyways he responded privately except by that time I was already asleep cuz I was tired from fireworks and night swimming.

So anyways I wake up at like 5 in the morning and read the response and I’m still really groggy so this sends a panic through me when I see he’s really mad and 100% called me out on my bullcrap (deserved) and in classic me fashion I get super freaked and have a panic attack and I deleted the reply cuz If I didn’t I would’ve read it over and over again and yeah. And I tend to do this bad overthinking thing where I assume one bad thing happens between me a friend and they hate me forever and never wanna talk to me again. So I go to my followers/mutuals list and I’m scrolling and I don’t see dagger on there so I’m like “oh crap he hates me he doesn’t even wanna be mutuals anymore”. Yeah. So I unfollowed him cuz I cut myself off from people, especially when they don’t wanna be friends anymore.

The rest of the day I stay away from tumblr and don’t check it until a few hours ago when I decided I’d kinda update my blog on how I wouldn’t be posting and vented a little by going “crap crap crap” etc.

Little context behind this, I actually was planning to update my blog because next week I have this super big thing which will most likely take up most of my day during the week for the next three weeks. But since I thought everyone would hate me I had to be dramatic and make it seem like I was leaving forever. Anyways I come back and I see dagger tagged me and whatever. And hes feeling bad too Ig and so that made me feel even more guilty (and he even remembered I love atsv) so I was like “alright I need to make a post about this.”

And now here we are. So. Yeah. I’m sorry if you hate me now Dagger. I followed you again but if you don’t want me to I understand. I just thought I’d put my input too. I feel really bad and I didn’t know how upset those asks would make you. And I’m sorry to all my mutuals for worrying them. I really hope you don’t see me as a bad person but I understand if you do. Yeah. I’m sorry.

[qvirkycrxxtvre]

I’ve decided whilst tripping balls on mushrooms this evening that I will be posting here a tad more.

What it is, is I keep a diary on my notes app on my phone, but I’m deciding to just like, move it. Here.

I say this because I feel like it’s such a waste to live the life I live and it to be told to no one. I know I have this conclusion bc I have dead relatives that didn’t have the literacy to document their stories and I remember my family asking me to listen to these terribly scary familial stories in hopes I would do something good with them, make some kind of art. I won’t.

I don’t talk to my family anymore.

Pause rephrase

I’m not telling you my name, but I want whoever reads this to know this blog will contain the incredibly intimate thoughts of a mentally unwell woman. Me.

I need help, and I’m sure I’ll get there. Hold on I need to restart again

I need it to be known my Husband is a good man, who is coping with a very traumatized wife. My life has always been very interesting and I guess I feel an upswing to that coming soon again. I was one of those who grew up chronically online and had unrestricted internet access starting at the age of 6 maybe, but I still had access even at 3

$€£¥

Sorry okay back back back Maybe I’ll make a notation yup let’s do $€£¥ to notate whenever my ADHD brings me away from my writing so if the thought is incomplete but it’s still in the entry, that’s what happened.

I uh. Used to have a very very public diary. Multiple. Some way more public than others. I don’t really value privacy, my Husband is doing his best to teach me these things like what’s okay and what’s expected but like

It’s fucked okay anyways I think I gave the disclaimers I needed

Fuck the world building I just need to recap all the shit that went down, ugh I can feel it in my guts that I’m supposed to go write a scathing yelp review but no I, I wanna write it in my diary ya feel me? Maybe if I don’t write terribly, I can copy paste lmfao okay sorry back back back

Or actually does it matter? I can’t remember okay yes okay hold

Yes so that notation worthy pause was me reminiscing on our night so so hard that I felt the need to message my friend about the night but then I remembered I literally am starting a diary as a coping mechanism to get the crazy things I need to say out of me without disturbing my life via messaging actual friends or my Husband to start crazy stuff when I really just need a place to vent.

$€£¥

Sorry, see this is why we don’t have Hemingway ass writers modern day. I’m telling you, if I could focus long enough to tell you my adventures it would be like The Sun Also Rises ahhh it’s always interesting starting a public diary bc it’s like damn I have to introduce myself kind of like not really, I talk about myself and rehash my life on a daily basis so I guess whatever one doesn’t know about me, you can find out in a few days when I get to it.

My brain is literally so Wattpad (where I once had a public diary) that I’m trying to title this project to a degree. Eh,it’ll come in time.

Ugh. I took my meds and when they kick in I’ll go to bed and I’ll still haven’t told anyone about tonight ahhhh

You need to understand that I’m considerably slow processing speed wise but like when given the time to get there, I have a lot of mind.

Anyways. Okay I think I’m finally not tripping balls.

My Husband is asleep in bed next to me. We got home not too long ago- it’s 12:48PM- put the baby to bed, ate our pizza burgers joyously.

$€£¥

See okay cool now I can just tell it here

God so, there was obviously a time before I was married. I still have friends from that time period.

I currently play DnD on a weekly basis with my Husband, my middle school best friend, anddd

our DM. We jokingly call him Daddy Master because of a typo my Friend made in the group chat.

But god, if she only knew.

I keep getting distracted writing on here because obviously, I want to tell her something.

It’s “What I wouldn’t do to have gone home with Daddy Master tonight”

I hate knowing there was a time when that could have been what happened.

We had some dumb pizza and beer issues tonight and honestly, he handled it. It’s so fucked, I loved a masculine man. I love someone taking lead. I love someone driven to protect. Ugh, and his car was so so clean

So, we ordered food right? But it never came. It was some bullshit. So two hours later, Daddy Master in the front seat, my Friend in shotgun, me behind Daddy Master and my Husband behind my friend

Okay see pause and go back again, the reason calling this guy Daddy Master is extra funny to me, is because I literally used to go to this man when I was younger to get my fill of DD/lg play (it was a trade, I had to do feet stuff for him idk) and like this was all on a friends level because like

Like how I mentioned previously, I don’t entirely understand privacy and something that comes in tandem with that is I also didn’t understand boundaries and what was for people in relationships vs family vs friends of that makes sense.

Anyways. Uh, my Friend doesn’t know how I know our DM. My Husband knows to an extent. That we met on tinder. Same place I met my Husband, years later.

What the fuck was I trying to say

Oh

God I just, my husband isn’t… sexy when he’s mad. He’s effeminate, in like a whimper/panic stutter frustration way, but then also he’s… he’s prone to hit… things…

But Daddy Master? Bruh.

$€£¥

Sorry. Okay I need like a 4th person pronoun that isn’t “Chat” that I can reliably say to address the readers or else Bruh and bro (my default words) are going to be everywhere here

Dearest Reader. DeRe. Boy if that don’t look like someone making fun of John Deer products in the sponagar voice

Ugh

Anyways, I think I WILL make content on here. A mixed media diary. I used to do comic strip diaries at one point. I won’t take it that far but def anticipate some soundgasm audios attached here and there

I want to tell people things but I feel the meds kicking in, and it’s so late at night.

I’m going to go listen to some audios and jill off now. Ugh. I’ll become a better writer as this goes, I’m sure

Goodnight 1:24AM

05202024

[mythomars]

Vent post ig- idk sorry

Anyway here’s this to cover my vent if u don’t wanna see it

There is no fucking guarantee anyone likes me. I don’t think I’m likable. Why do people talk to me? I swear one day I’m going to go dark. Contacting no one and nobody will notice or care because why should they? My rp characters fucking suck id probably do everyone a favor if I just got rid of them so they don’t feel the need to interact with them. I can’t even fucking role play, my characters are not even slightly different from each other. Why shouldn’t I just disappear? Nothing is stopping me and every second my mind convinces me it’s a good idea. Half my irl friends are probably only friends with me because I feel the need to buy them stuff.

I feel like a spoiled brat. Other people have real problems and I’m over here complaining about not thinking I’m liked. It’s pathetic honestly. I’ll probably delete this post in the morning when I get over my stupid fucking pitty party.

There’s so much else I want to say but no body will read it let alone care and I don’t know how to put into words so-