#anyway really i just encourage everyone to keep learning about these things !!! especially peoples’ personal stories !!!

[sundayinthcpark]

adore "transmasc" and "lesbian" in ur bio (unironically). i recently came out as transmasc and genuienely it was the final straw that made me say "fuckall" to trying to decipher my own sexuality, as i think that being trans just. the concept of my relationship with a woman definitely makes me label that idea as lesbian. and yes i am trans at the same time.

WOO IM SO HAPPY FOR U !!!! i take great pride in my labels and i know they’re not always correct on ur first go (i’ve used so many different labels over the years) and sometimes u even figure smthn out about yourself later too and that changes things and y’know what that’s cool !!! but i’m so glad that you’re figuring out your relationship with gender and sexuality. i wish i had a lot of advice for u but all i can say is keep learning !!! four years ago, i was 100% sure that people who use he/him pronouns couldn’t possibly be lesbians, and six years ago i thought there were only two genders. i’m still learning things about peoples’ gender expression and especially how gender and lesbianism are tied together and not only is it all very interesting, it also helps me learn and understand more about myself and the people around me !!!

[ineffabildaddy]

i know this may be obvious to a lot of people, but i thought it was worth saying anyway: i love the good omens fandom because it encourages contribution more than any other popular fandom i've been in.

i'm incapable of being a casual fan of anything. it's just not in my nature. i've been in fandom spaces just over a decade - fandoms related to musicians, books, films and tv shows - and yet i've never been in a fandom that captures, creates, analyses, jokes, and just talks more than this one.

in most of the fandoms i've been in, there's a lot of passive consumption of fan content, which is obviously great and we all do it, but in the good omens fandom, that doesn't seem to make up the majority of our behaviour. in fact, when i got back on tumblr for the first time in 7 years after watching season 2, i had a look around at what the fandom was doing for a day or two and my first thought was: oh god, what if i've got nothing to say? what if i've got nothing to add that hasn't already been added? i immediately felt that i wouldn't truly be part of things if i didn't get stuck in.

if i'm fixated on something or particularly enjoying it at one time, i might wake up in the morning or pick up my phone/laptop thinking, i want to see more, hear more, learn more about this thing. that's still the case with good omens, but with the addition of, how can i contribute today? how can i bring something to the fandom, how can i connect with it, how can i consistently encourage and support the people in it? and that's all because of how artistic, analytical, poetic, humorous but above all enthusiastic all of you are.

the truth is, i'm not at all a confident person. i've got a film degree, i've done stand-up comedy and i've written comedy sketches, i was a popular fanfiction writer for years (hi supernatural fans), and i've shared poetry, too. so, i have got experience in things that could make my contributions to fandom spaces worthwhile (not that you need any particular achievements under your belt). yet usually, the fact that people are doing things that i'm doing infinitely better than me puts me off the idea of doing them at all. so, oftentimes i don't do them, or if i do i put them down immediately and keep them private.

i'm still very much experiencing that feeling since becoming active in the good omens fandom, precisely because there's so much talent and dedication here, but i'm trying to ignore it because it feels like everyone who wants to say something is genuinely valued - especially since people who think differently about aspects of the book and show aren't actually fighting with each other or obsessed with proving they're right, which is quite rare in my experiences of fandoms.

it's been really really refreshing to become an active part of this fandom and i do hope it remains that way as more time elapses since season 2 was released. i have a feeling it will because we've all chosen one of the most wonderful stories of our time to engage with, and the fans' love for it was and is taken more seriously by terry, neil, david and michael than we ever could've hoped for.<3

[ghouldtime]

i usually don’t message anyone or anything but i just wanted to say i love your characterizations of konig, ghost, and soap very much. the love and appreciation you have for these characters really come through in your writing.

the cod fandom is full of talented writers but the majority of them write smut. it gets tiring scrolling through the tag and just seeing porn when i actually just wanna see… ppl who enjoy the characters outside of sex appeal, yk? so your blog, truly and genuinely, is a breath of fresh air.

that’s not even mentioning the ppl who write them as abusive or use them to fulfill certain fantasies. i mean i don’t kink shame ofc, but idk sometimes ppl write them in extremely degrading ways that do a disservice to their character and it bugs me a little. plus all the “innocent bimbo reader” rhetoric, idk it gets tiring.

anyway, sorry for the yap session, but i did mean everything i said genuinely !!

💚💚💚💚 Salutations anon! You really don't know how much I appreciate hearing this. Seriously, messages like this give me motivation to keep writing and to stay active on here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU from the very depths of my heart. You've all been so so incredibly kind, sweet, and encouraging 😭 I don't know what I've done to deserve this but it's appreciated and you all are absolutely awesome. This has made my YEAR, thank you for taking time out of your day to send my silly self a message 💚💚💚💚💚

I'm so so happy my characterizations have hit the mark for some people and that I'm (hopefully) doing them some justice! I'm always worried about that because characterization matters heavily to me and I want to respect their characters and how much they mean to me and other people through it EVEN IF THE WRITERS OF THE LAST MODERN WARFARE DON'T KNOW WHAT A PROPER STORY LINE IS AND KILLED SOAP WHICH I'M NOT FORGETTING, IM NOT FORGIVING, AND IM CERTAIN NOT LIVE LAUGH LOVING WITH IT. I'm refusing to accept he's dead, no matter what they say

I love the boys all so much. They all have such interesting things about them and have a lot more dynamic to them than people think and I just want to represent them right, especially lesser appreciated characters (haven't actually really written for them yet but Keegan, Logan, Hesh, Sandman, Roach, Nikto, Krueger - legit I love them, anyone feel free to send asks or scenarios you'd like I WILL write them. Legit, y'all, you can send me asks about certain characters even if there isn't much on them. I WILL do my research and I WILL write to the best of my ability)

Oh there's many talented writers in the COD Fandom, there really are. I can't say I really know any personally seeing as I never really interact with other blogs but I've seen some reallly really nice fics with so much thought put in them. But equally, there's a lot of just... smut. Not even well written smut, I'm sorry, but a lot of it is just really, really poorly written. I'm all for do what you want, write whatever makes you happy. Freedom of speech! If it makes you happy, cool! But I'm also going to cringe cause a lot of it is... yeah, yikes

Not trying to be the smut police and say every detail must be accounted for and everyone should follow it in a certain way but plz basic anatomy 101, basic prep 101, no guy gal or enby pal will appreciate it if you just shove it in to anywhere dry and I've seen a loooot of that and other things that just hurt?????

I get it, people learn by reading/writing, but this is literally just a single search away. And common sense. There's also a lot of practices being unsafely represented (like fifty shades of gray level) and uh it's not on purpose, it's not meant to be dubious, but it just is written as that. PLEEEEASE please please do some research, the internet is right there

But I felt the same way. Like bless whatever y'all want to write, no shame and NO shade to writing smut. I'll probably eventually do it myself again in the future (undecided on that but it'd likely be a side blog if I do and would never be a main focus, I prefer story over smut action. Once again, no shade and no shame to those who don't, to each their own!). Never ever going to full on NSFW mode or only writing that, I'm always always always going to prioritize writing the characters first and trying to get more stories out there about them :D

But I got tired of opening it and all I see is just... smut, smut, more smut, extremely dubious content x 50. And maybe a sprinkle of normal things or fluff here and there. I just don't look in the tags honestly anymore, because so many people just don't properly tag it or give 0 warning at all, not even under a read more, just BAM, unavoidable unless you flat out don't look at the tags at all

There's more to the characters than just being attractive 😭and I love exploring those aspects of them and trying to figure out why they are the way they are

Also I'm ALWAYS going to have an issue with people who fetishize horrible things. When you're actively fantasizing and writing about someone abusing someone else, like flat out abuse, and being incredibly toxic and terrible to someone - just, please talk to a therapist. That's not social commentary, that's not a proper portrayal of real, HORRIBLE things that affect many people and have very real repercussions - that's perpetuating the negative narrative around a lot of struggles and setting it back by instead turning it into something that's treated as attractive. I really fully can elaborate on this and have a whole rant - but it's not cute and it's NEVER cool to fetishize actual, awful awful things that happen to people. Dead dove doesn't excuse you from judgement - especially when it's not even acknowledged. You're just saying you know what you write is probably morally reprehensible. Hey, I'm going to reprehend and won't respect you at all when you write awful things just cause and get off on it. Think people forget that. Dead dove is a descriptor and doesn't excuse you or make you instantly free from judgement or mean you're not doing something problematic/disgusting. It's just saying you know it is, that's about it.

I don't get why people do that when it's clear they have no idea what they're talking about. I've seen that a lot with the bully! Things. Like... wow, clearly some of you WEREN'T bullied and you're writing about it and it shows because if you were, hey, you know how fucking awful that shit is and how it leaves life long effects. Not saying this applies to all but there's a lot I see like that where it's just ".... wow, okay, so you don't have any idea what you're talking about, cool."

AND YEAH the mischaracterization really does do a great disservice where it's clear they're just after the characters for their physique. They just warp them so bad it's like "Are we talking about the same character?" . In AUs you get to explore that and can shape them to your wants, that's your choice! Highly recommend AU's, it allows so much freedom.

But when it's like.... regular? And it's just no where close and they're doing a 180 in how they actually are (like having Ghost flirt with strangers and be big scary daddy dom im sorry he's not at allllll) I don't get it and it's clear you really aren't writing about or for the character - at that point, plz, make your own characters. Just make your own OCs, it's great! And you can make them HOWEVER you want instead of just ignoring a character's characterization to make them fit what you want. And guess what? It's your character so you can TRULY do what you want and have them the way that you want instead of bending characters to fit a box that they weren't made for

I'm not saying you HAVE to write a character the same as me or in a specific way, but when it's a character with an established personality/backstory, the least you can do is follow that outside of AU's if you're writing for them. That's... the whole point of writing that character - I don't get why you'd write for them specifically if you're literally going to ignore everything about them

SPEAKING OF THE INNOCENT BIMBO THING, I'm also really not a fan. Once again, if that makes you happy to write or read, cool! I just am NOOOOT a fan. Why does the reader always have to be so small and so delicate and so pure/innocent? Why does the reader have to be just so UWU coded? Why are they always like "oh you're so little and small :( and just don't know any better" . It's either that or they're John fucking Wick with little in between. Pleeeease it hurts my soul

Its why I try to genuinely write a neutral geared reader with reactions that will likely fit a lot of people! I'm always taken out of a story's immersiveness when it mentions something like like your hair length or how uwu small you are in comparison. Give me just... average sensible reader. Give me reader who has realistic human reactions. Give me reader who isn't perfect, give me a reader who isn't magically special or different. Give me a reader who is just doing their best, who is THEMSELVES, with no intent otherwise. I love those fanfics so so much instead of trying to feel like I have to be something I'm not to get myself in the mindset to read some pieces NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR YAPPING. IM ALWAYS WANTING TO TALK IM ALWAYS AROUND 💚💚💚💚THANK YOU FOR THE MESSAGE IT MAKES MY HEART WARM AND MAKES ME SO SO HAPPY

[thelemoncoffee]

today's post is me rambling negatively- and probably upsetting some people in the process too, but i wanna get this out there before my brain inverts thinking about it.

honestly i don't like how the game treated Kaito's pushing Shuichi to keep being a detective as a good thing.

like- in the games Kaito keeps pushing Shuichi to be the ultimate detective, while Shuichi actively doesn't want to be a detective. i genuinely dislike this aspect of Kaito, he has alot of potential and individual traits that i love- but the game squanders it so much his canon depiction annoys me

with the Shuichi situation, detective work was obviously something Shuichi wasn't actually passionate about- as we learn he only started doing it to feel useful to his uncle- and he's proven time and time again that he isn't the kind of person who can handle the emotional strain the line of work puts on a person. but no matter what they kept making Kaito push him to be a detective anyways and framed it as a good thing despite everything pointing to the contrary .

Ryoma already fills the niche of "character who gave up on their passion due to trauma and needs to be encouraged to get back into what they love again"- we do not need to shoehorn Shuichi into it, especially when literally everything about him makes it noticeably unhealthy for him. i wouldn't have an issue with it if the game treated it like the negative it is, but it doesn't, the game thinks Kaito's pushing shuichi is actually a good thing and positive character growth. and that's my main issue with Kaito, really-

Kaito is a great character concept but the more i think about it the more the way he was used was so fucking shitty. i greatly dislike how they had the potential to show him as a super flawed wannabe hero doing the dumbest unhealthy shit cause he has a heart of gold, but they instead tried to play him as a tragic hero

he should have been called out for his shit more. he should have had a character arc where he learned how superficial his aid tactics actual are, and works up to do really heroic things. which- if you left ch5 as is- would make it a really cool instance of relapse into old bad habits under pressure, he would foil Kokichi 100x better like this too. while Kokichi descends into a paranoid mess, Kaito becomes a genuinely better hero- and Kokichi causes Kaito to relapse while he himself shows his true and more caring nature to Kaito in his final moments

but they didn't fucking do that.

Kaito was the tragic hero who was always right even when he was objectively wrong (read: Shuichi situation), a total hypocrite with zero repercussions for his hypocrisy (read: hates Kokichi lying despite lying more than Kokichi), and every character loved him no matter how shitty he was being.

i know he was intended to be a foil to Kokichi, but when Kokichi's relationships with other characters are more nuanced compared to his, it falls flat. Kokichi had people who liked and hated him to varying degrees, everyone had a solid opinion on him- but Kaito? i don't recall anyone outside of Kokichi, Maki, and Shuichi having any strong opinions on him (unless you count Tenko, but i don't cause her hatred was cause he's a man and not because of him as a person), which makes him feel way more flat compared to the variety of people's opinions on Kokichi and makes their foil connection way weaker

i just think Kaito could have been handled alot better- and i often tend to brush lightly on his problems in my posts that use him as a minor antagonist for saiouma

[indigochromatic]

Another One Of Those Advice-for-New-Systems Posts

Saw one of these going around recently and got inspired. I wouldn't call this advice list the "evil edition", more like the... "do no harm but take no shit" edition X'D

Be on each other's team first, before anything else. Everything gets easier when you're facing it together.

Trying to avoid being (or looking) cringe is a fool's errand. If you would have to bend yourselves into a conciliatory pretzel in order to make a person like you or a social circle accept you, those people are not worth your time.

When you inevitably get hit with episodes of anxious system-doubt, (it's a pretty universal experience, I promise), take a second to pause. What's the longest span of time you've had so far without any "system stuff" (comments in co-con, switches, notes left for you, etc) happening? Say it's a week. Take that time span, double it, and then tell yourself that you are not allowed to seriously, actually start doubting until that long from now (e.g. 2 weeks). "But I'm so sure I'm definitely just faking it!" okay, hey, alright--if that's true, it'll still be true in 2 weeks. You can wait to find out, it's okay.

Be kind to everything in your head anyways, even in the middle of a doubt episode, because that's equally important for singlets to do and not just limited to systems. "Just part of me talking to myself" is as worthy of respect and kindness as an autonomous system member.

Also, keep notes somewhere of Hilariously Plural stuff that happens to you. It'll be good reassurance, but even more importantly, it'll be really funny to look back on later.

Labels are tools to help you communicate your experiences, not boxes you have to sort yourselves into.

The magic question isn't about labels or validity or trauma. It's "What do we need? What do each of us need, individually? What support would help us?"

Don't get too caught up in online system communities. Especially 1) endless tilting-at-windmills debates, and 2) advice channels and feeling obligated to give advice and emotional support to everyone who looks like they might want it. (Note: it's not bad to give advice, but it can be very easy to make a habit of overextending yourselves to care for others instead of yourselves--quite often because your own problems are hard and scary, bc otherwise you would have solved them already, and other peoples' issues can feel a lot more tractable and easier to address.)

Do find people and communities where you feel safe to be yourselves, and where people get to know you for your interests and perspectives and senses of humor, not only for your demographic labels.

It's okay to not know everything or figure everything out right away. There will be changes, there will be surprises, and that's good and normal and part of being alive.

Have fun on purpose. Lean into having fun with being a system, even if fun moments are rare and fleeting at first. Make in-jokes, encourage each other's angsty poetry habits, leave each other notes (even if you share memories), end up with massive crushes on each other, daydream together, hold each other when one (or more) of you is sad. Find things about each other you're grateful for, that you admire and want to learn from, that you enjoy.

[winter-spark]

The Zafran Princes' Moms

Something I thought of a year ago but (accidentally) posted recently then hid from everyone was what if the Zafran Princes's moms had a part in how they turned out, not like flat out "Orange you should do whatever it takes to be King even if it means leading an attempted murder plot" but like in the sense that how they talked to, about and around them, as well as their overall presence in their lives sorta supported how they turned out. Here's my initial post (if this works) & below I shall share more thoughts on how I see their moms. (Which has sorta been sprinkled in some of my other posts tbh.)

Citron's Mom: 

To me, Citron's mom is a nice enough lady but, she didn't spend much time with him. (And that second part is canon really) Also. She definitely added to the pressure he felt to be the proper, scholarly, next in line. How & why are these things? Well for her absence, I wanted to say that I think she wasn't married to the King. But I double-checked and evidently, in Year 2, Act 8, they do call Citron's mom the King's fourth wife, in the English translation(is that fourth excluding the queen? Or is the king only married to three of his sons' moms?) But like I really feel like she didn't live in the castle tbh. Maybe they divorced? Idk I was so sure for a moment that they were dating at most and had a fling-turned-pregnancy at minimal. But I guess they were legitimately married.

Either way the point is, I felt she did not live in the castle but did visit Citron at times.(Though I guess she can still visit "at times" if she does live there) Not often but, you know, when she made time. And things she'd say in her visits? Apologizing for his background, encouraging him to study hard (so people won't hold him to said background), commenting on how much of a prince he is, the like. So even with her not being around much, she'd have a strong effect on Citron as these are things kids internalize. Especially with the world around him reinforcing this. But yea, I think she works a decent amount and as Citron got older she probably saw less of a need to visit as it's not like there's much she can do for him anyway. He's a prince. Do I think she's right for this? Of course not, but I think all their moms were flawed, so. Moving on!

Orange's Mom: 

This woman. Well she was around a lot more than Citron's mom that's for sure. Not hard but still it was notable I think. And she didn't like Citron I'm sure. I think she has a very, "oh hello :>" proper and elegant demeanor but she agrees with all the meanspirited comments so easily. Think in Loathing from Wicked when Galinda said "Well, these things are sent to try us~🎵"  that's her energy I think. Anywho, she's pretty much besties with Navel's mom, or at least they hang around each other a lot, and had a lot of her "not a commoner as ruler" convos with her right in front of Orange, I do think she was more against Citron, the son of a commoner, being next in line than she thought Orange should lead.

But she definitely took any comments that he should be first in line as personal compliments and thanked whoever said that to her accordingly. But in all honesty as I type this I'm not sure they had much of a dynamic, like she'd get him from the caretaker, walk him to and fro his room, have tea with him, Navel and Navel's mom, etc. But I can't actually imagine them talking much if at all. So I think Orange learned to be more in his head or at least fairly quiet and keeping his opinions mostly to himself through this. Like he's almost basically her display son. [But I do think he might've sorta could tell she was more against Citron than she wanted him to be next in line and thus felt a bit of the having to prove himself bit, but just a bit]

Navel's mom: 

She's much more talkative and expressive I think. Expressive as in where, Orange's mom might give an irritated smile, Navel's mom would frown, but not like super loud about them. Also expressive as in she's more likely to say what her opinion is. I think she would like Navel, her son, to be first in line, but she thinks Orange is a better fit, that he's more of a natural when it comes to being proper and prince-like and whatnot. So she'll list 'em both if/when saying "next in line should be…" but she doesn't really think Navel's quite right for the throne. She does somewhat steer him that way as I'm sure she's scolded him a lot for his "undesirable"[read: energetic/kid] traits and has probably compared him to Orange and possibly even Citron. Yea I think Navel is a character who's kept up in the prince competition to sorta prove himself but I think he definitely wanted to be different than Orange just not in a "be more like Orange he's right your wrong" way. Just a "they're different people" way. I think he does have slight "but is Orange really always right/best?" mentality because of his mom sorta pitting him against him but I do think Orange has always been nice to him and he does want to trust Orange's decisions because of that. And also he feels sorta like he has to but yea.

This started turning into being about Navel more than his mom. Whoops. Anyway, yea she also is out & about with him when he's younger, to and fro his room, from the caretaker, over tea. But she's more critical of him than Orange's mom is to Orange, but she also talks to him more so Idk.

Tangerine's Mom: 

Okay. So remember how I said being around more than Citron's mom wasn't hard? It's not, yet she somehow is around Tangerine less than Citron's mom with Citron. I'm still working out her angle a bit like I know she's still in the palace and Tangerine knows she's his mom. But they've definitely spent almost 0 time together I'm sure. I mean I look at Tangerine and it's so clear the closest thing he's had to a motherly figure is his dear older Citron who adores him very much. Other than that Tangerine's been pretty on his own. But like in my pirates au, Tangerine has something of his mother's so I'm really trying to figure her out here. Like, initially, I was thinking she just does not care, and maybe she doesn't. Like in part it feels like she wasn't a person who saw her baby and was like this is the biggest joy in my life, maybe she tried though. Like in the earliest years then went yea not for me. I don't know though. Like is she uninterested in having a kid in general or is she uninterested in Tangerine in general? Like did Tangerine mean nothing, it wasn't like he had any high standing? But then again she's not shown hide or hair now that he's first in line so it might be the kid thing. Either way it resulted in the most absentee mother any of them have.

And I know I kinda made them sound like bad people but like. Of course they're gonna have negative traits/actions that affected their sons, have you seen the Zafran princes?

(I'm not actually defending them, I'm just saying. )

Also while I'm here, shout out to Citron and Orange because I know they took good care of Tangerine and Navel to help certain needs be met that their own moms weren't fulfilling for them. Citron, being a constant presence in Tangerine's life that Tangerine can go to at differing times of the day and receive comfort from. Orange, taking Navel out of the public eye/palace to be outside and have room to breathe and be himself. (I know I didn't touch on these well in their paragraphs but yes this sums up what I was thinking.) And you see how that correlates to what Citron and Orange needed but didn't get?

And yea. I want to have thoughts on the Queen, but they haven't finalized yet. I initially thought maybe Tangerine was her favorite but again Tangerine feels like someone who spent a lot of time alone kind of because he had to so I just don't think it sits right. But that's still in the works, maybe later I'll have an actual discussion on the Queen. For now, I hope you enjoyed this headcanon share.

[the-pjo-analyst]

The Lightning Thief Summary

Here I was thinking I'd finish editing this today and still have plenty of time before the show airs and then they release the episodes early sjkdfhsdkfh

Anyway over a year later and it's done! Thank you for everyone who's been patient with my posts despite taking so long to finish. I'll put a pause on my book analyses so I can focus on reading the Trials of Apollo (I never finished the series,,,,,) so I can finally read all the new content we got this year! Maybe I'll make live posts as I read 👀 I kinda want to make posts about the tv show when it airs too.... we'll see :D

Until then, here's a summary of the first book:

Themes

The concept of home In terms of a physical place, Camp Half-Blood is the biggest example of this, as a sanctuary for demigods who struggle to survive and fit in in the regular world. I find it interesting how in every book something threatens the existence of CHB as a safe place. In this case it's something small, the hellhound that Luke brought in. Luke even says he did it so Chiron would believe camp wasn't safe and send Percy off on a quest. Each threat progressively gets worse, which forces the demigods to go on quests to either directly or indirectly save/help their home. There's also people as a place to call home, like how Sally is to Percy. Funny enough the motif of demigods going on quests to protect their home also applies to here because Percy doesn't accept his quest to save CHB, he does it to save his mom, the only person at that point he felt at home with. Because brain is hardwired to think about percabeth all the time I'll put this out in the open: Percy and Annabeth stand on opposite ends of the "what is home" spectrum at the beginning, Percy's being a person and Annabeth's being a place, and then they kinda switch with Percy finding a home at CHB and Annabeth learning to call her mortal family home. But haha psyche it's actually them growing to call each other home. Like when Percy is on the fence whether to stay at camp for the year or not, a major reason he decides against it is bc Annabeth won't be there. And then Annabeth would never have considered living with her dad again is Percy didn't encourage her.

Supporting others and having support from loved ones This pops up a lot in the book and it's an important driving force for a lot of the characters: Percy having a loving mother, the trio having each other's backs throughout their quest, the trio supporting each other's goals, even Poseidon watching over Percy. When they're at their lowest, when they think about giving up, they all had someone who picked them back up, someone who eased the pain a little, and that helped them keep going and lift them up. On the topic of Percy vs Luke, this is a major point that distinguishes the two as heroes. Percy has a support system that he can fall back to when he makes mistakes or bad things happen to him while Luke doesn't, not really. Although it's hard to tell from Percy's pov whether Luke had any close friends or not, it doesn't seem like he had anyone to confide in (at least after Thalia). He's left to stew in his negative emotions, another reason why he was so easy to be manipulated.

Identity Maybe too early to really talk about this, but the first book introduces this idea of how characters identify themselves, and especially who they identify with. Demigods being categorized demigods by their godly parent and also them choosing whether to identify by that or not. On the flip side, demigods feeling lost or not seen when they either aren't claimed or don't have a cabin to truly call theirs. There's also Annabeth who practically grew up in this system and internalized it, and came to find there's more to the world than just who your godly parent is. And Percy on the opposite side again lmao, who considers himself Sally Jackson's son first and foremost, and then learns to accept Poseidon in his life in whatever form it entails.

Worship of the gods and broken systems Probably the most important theme to the plot line of the series. I talked a lot about this in terms of Percy vs Luke for my ch 21 and 22 posts, essentially how demigods' over-reliance on the gods breeds a flawed and defective system. A subtheme for this is the gods and responsibility: who gets blamed for the actions of the gods? are the gods obligated to claim and acknowledge their children? I think what makes Percy the perfect Child of the Prophecy is that he has never relied on the gods as omniscient and almighty beings to give him what he needs, he instead relies on his own power, and that allows him to work with the gods to create change in future books. He never had a moment where he worshiped the gods and also never had a moment of disillusionment bc he was immediately thrust into a situation that revealed out broken the system was as soon as he was brought into the world of immortals. He sees the gods and their world as they are, both the good and the bad.

Characters

Percy: I'll just summarize his core qualities since I talk too much about this kid 😂: Percy is strong-minded and doesn’t back down easily, he has high integrity, he’s incredibly loyal to his friends and stands up for them, he heavily relies on his instincts and is impulsive, he's also very street-smart! he's impertinent lol and doesn't take well to authority if he feels it isn’t deserving or fair, he loves loves loves his mom, he always fights to protect, he has an incredibly low self-esteem and desires others to see beyond the trouble that follows him, he doesn't like "bothering" people with his problems. His sass and spite probably formed as a defense mechanism against his low self-esteem and the abusive environment he grew up in. It's interesting reading the book while fully looking at Percy's characteristics in terms of how growing up with Gabe affected him. For example, if he had a stable home, would his self esteem be as low as it is?

This pops up at the end and becomes hugely important in the later books, but Percy tends to take on responsibilities way too personally and they tend to become fixations. After Luke's betrayal, Percy is like I have to go find him and I can't just sit around while Luke is planning to destroy the world. He's like,,,, proactive to a fault.

Traits he probably gets as a child of Poseidon bc I love discussions that try to pinpoint this: the inability regulate strong emotions, like his temper; his brooding expression that gives him the air of a troublemaker and loose canon; his difficultly in following the rules; obv his love of beaches too.

Annabeth: As I've said before, Annabeth makes a good foil for Percy as the logical and book-smart person to Percy's heavy emotions and instincts. She's introduced as someone who's opposing to Percy in almost every way: someone who's entire world is her godly parent and the immortal world, who relies on her brain first before anything else, who's a bit manipulative, who's very confident in her abilities. But they also have some similarities: where Annabeth has faced lots of abandonment and Percy has faced a lot of rejection, and from these experiences they both have come to desire acknowledgement of their worth and the good in them. And they come to find these things in each other. It's also important to note how they learn from one another on their quest, like Percy starting to form strategies in his battles and Annabeth finding that the immortal world isn't everything.

Annabeth's aspirations and fatal flaw are very much tied together, since she's learned growing up that she can only rely on herself to do things right, plus having incredible pride as a child of Athena, led to her developing hubris. And it goes hand-in-hand with her desire for something permanent since she's never had something stable prior to arriving at camp. Her dream to be an architect allows her to both create something that will last eternity and make her stamp on the world.

Grover: The growth for Grover is a little less prominent compared to Percy and Annabeth. He's introduced as being meek with low-confidence but he has Big Dreams for that Tiny Body. It's really because he has Percy and Annabeth that he's able to grow and gain more confidence in himself, without them his aspirations would just be a pipe dream (I'm sorry I made an accidental pun lol). Grover rises to the occasion because he has people who believe in him and frequently tell him so and he also wants to meet those expectations. And that support takes physical form at the end of the book, both with Grover gaining his searcher license and him getting a growth spurt. You can see with your eyes how much he's matured, filling into the shoes of the person he wants to be in a literal sense.

Luke: Whereas Annabeth is different from Percy in every way but the ones that really matter, Luke is similar to Percy in every aspect except ones that really matter. He's a very caring and supportive person, so much so that he takes Percy under his wing when no one else does when Percy arrives at camp. He sees a broken system in the immortal world and wants something better for demigods. And yet he's also incredibly selfish, he leans more into putting himself and his desires first before anything else. He had relied too much on the gods to fix and provide everything and becomes bitter when that doesn't happen. Despite being a source of support for others, he doesn't have that for himself. And because of these differences, Luke is way more susceptible to Kronos' influence than Percy is. Kronos can offer glory and power and self gratification, and where Percy would refuse because it goes against his morals and who he is (someone who thinks about others before himself), Luke is more likely to be swayed.

Honestly Luke seems like a "what if" in comparison to Percy. What if Percy lost his mom? What if he was left at camp when he was younger? What if Percy never found a support system? All the examples I'm thinking of boil down to Percy having a parental figure that guides him and teaches him important lessons, while Luke doesn't lmao.

There's two sides in Luke, love vs anger, kindness vs selfishness, gods vs titans, celestial bronze vs steel, and this conflict appears frequently throughout the series. I want to see what moments this conflict shows itself in the later books!

Other things to keep in mind for the series when I continue reading and other notes:

Does Percy have claustrophobia? Or does it only show up at St Louis lol

The parallels between Percy and Luke

Ways Percy and Annabeth get closer and learn from one another

[B2 Summary]

[kurtmustdie]

lmao i fucking forgot to share this

not only do i have unorganized miguel heacanons but i have unorganized HOBIE ones too

i have unorganized random headcanons for all the characters i brainrot over these two are no different!!

identity headcanons first hehe:

hes trans. he probably diyed his hrt and also has top surgery somehow hes magic. (i also think he'd have tattoos over his scars, either super cool bat/devil wings or an intricate spider design on their whole abdomen cant decide ill draw it later 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉)

he, however, doesnt really have any specific sexuality or gender labels they feel like they fit into. theyre attacted to all genders of varying degrees but doesnt really put a label on it. he just exists.

also doesnt mind what pronouns you use for her. any/all. basically.

also also would encourage people to use the weirdest and coolest neopronouns they can think of for zem like REALLY go out there WHATEVER YOU CAN THINK OF.

ADHD haver?? MAYBE???

to the rest acaksdlfj;akdjf:

theyre very crafty and dabble in basically every form of art. music, graffiti, painting, sculpting (mainly with trash or scraps or random discarded items he finds, more on that later on), sewing, whatever. if he can learn to do it she will.

he is super touchy and likes being close to people, but also understand boundaries.

very emotionally intelligent, i feel like this is canon anyway but ill just put it out there, ze can basically sense if someone is upset.

LOVES ABSOLUTELY LIVES FOR talking to new people, will go out of their way to introduce himself to basically everyone, especially new spider-people she meets.

he is a bit of a joker, ofc, but he wont try and push boundaries that he clearly sees or hears from the person theyre talking to. hi people who hc him as being an unself aware dickhead shut up you are very wrong did you even watch the movie.

this one is probably my favorite but he will pick up random things he sees around him and keep them for art projects. cool rock on the sidewalk? its a rock, hes gonna take it. funny lookin bug? might pick it up for a little to look at it and put it back in a safer spot. bottle cap? "mine now". like i said before he likes using litter to make art.

he will stop mid-mission if he sees something cool that he can take home like "oh [riff] cool leaf" and put it in his pocket.

i was referencing this post btw i love this headcanon, absolutely genius, i will steal it ty /lhj

this stealing of random objects from all around the multiverse has caused many lectures for miguel (they arent listening)

they have some kind of control over what texture/color they turn into if xey really think about it but most of the time he just kind of.. lets it do its thing. (sort of like a RainWing?)

shockingly good at vague yet oddly specific threats that are unrealistic but if you really think about it it's like "oh yeah he could totally do that..." but she wouldn't. yknow what im saying right???

while he does live in the 70s where technology was uh... not as popular nor as advanced as they are now, he's aware of modern tech through Gwen, Miles, Pav, DEFINITELY through Margo and Miguel, but she doesn't really use it often. doesnt really see the point.

along with that he also is aware of modern music as well, he has mixed feelings (gwen is probably the biggest influence though she is such a Pinkshift/Paramore/My Chem girlie it hurts to think about)

100% collects record of artists, especially smaller artists, that they like.

if you get them going about music he will talk for HOURS. HOURS until you tell him to shut up, even though fae totally wont listen and will keep going anyway. (just like me teehee projecting is fun <3 )

while hobie does use his guitar as a weapon for some reason he is quite protective of it. they wont try and stop you from touching it or playing it, but he will watch you like a hawk. half out of "oo look another person is interested in guitar" and the other half of "👁️👁️ dont break it i can only do that /j" (a lot of musicians are like that, i would know, im one of them. ha)

loves stray animals. cats, dogs, birds, anything. he will stop to pet them if they let him.

he also will talk to cats like any other person. especially spider cat. spider cat could make a cat noise and he'd act like he understood it. "yeah totally man, i get it. meow."

he can sing like... averagely? he has a good sense of pitch and timing, as most musicians do, but she isnt professionally trained or really does it too often

they will scream though

also really likes messing with makeup and bodypaint. he will spend hours on it if he can.

FUCK I AM SO HAPPY I DIDNT POST THIS IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE I KEEP REMEMBERING THINGS ACK HERES ONE LAST ONE POST THIS AFTER ASH I SWEAR (edit from two weeks later: i forgor): he definitely isnt a morning person. he loves to sleep in. definitely values rest, like a lot. miguel will call him at like 7 am and hobie will flip him off and say 5 more minutes when they really mean 2 more hours.

do i have any more?? hmmm maybe if i remember but this is what i have so far. mostly just silly lil headcanons that arent entirely plot relevant as most of my headcanons are.

[miasmaghoul]

Miasma, may I ask for advice? Two of my best friends are getting married to each other in a few months, and have been planning it for a couple of years. They told me the date two years ago to make sure I'd be able to take time off for work, which I've done and told them. Despite me reaching out and trying to keep our friendship active like I normally would (mental health sucks for us all), I haven't heard from them since Feb. The one time they asked if I wanted to hang out I wad so excited and said yes and asked when, and then when I followed up a couple of weeks later asking if they still wanted to, I got brushed off. Am I in the wrong to give up on trying to reach out, especially with a wedding coming up? I haven't been told any info beyond the date and at this point I'm getting pissed at the idea that I'm going to be left scrambling to find something to wear in the right colour and to help with the setting up last minute because they haven't communicated anything. I've done all I can to try support them from afar, and keep my burdens and struggles from them both so that they aren't bitten by empathy, but I'm hurt badly. I don't think they've even sent me a text to say they're thinking of me since June. I'd really like an outside perspective on things, and if I'm being petty and childish if you're willing 🦨

Hi friend.

First off, I'm sorry you're stuck in this position. It's an awful one to be in, and I do understand why you're upset. Navigating adult friendships can be a tumultuous thing, especially when big life events happen, and it can be very easy to feel ignored or forgotten. I, personally, don't think it's petty or childish to be hurt by it. Distance is painful, and unfortunately that usually gets worse before it gets better.

However, I also think it's hard to give an outside perspective on situations like this. I can tell you what I would do, but there's no guarantee that what works for me would work for you. It's entirely possible that your friends simply got caught up in their own lives - wedding planning and the like - to have much time for anyone else. It may not be a personal thing at all, even if it's easy to take it that way. It's possible they've only been focused on each other and yours isn't the only friendship that's suffered for it. Is the alternative possible too? Of course. But ultimately how you react to and handle this depends on you.

Believe me when I say that I understand the mental heath struggles make things like this infinitely harder. It's so easy to fall into the trap of "everyone hates me, I'm the problem", and once you do that's a pit that hard to climb out of. I also understand wanting to keep all of this you yourself so as not to burden others, but here's the thing: your needs are never a burden. This is a lesson I'm still teaching myself, one that is not easy to learn, but it's so, so important. How is anyone supposed to help or support you if they don't know what you're struggling with? I'm not saying to treat your friends like they're therapists, that's not a good solution, but I don't think there is any harm in asking someone who cares for you "hey, I'm having a rough time, can I talk to you about (whatever you're struggling with)?" As a rule, people care more about you than you think. It's just harder to see it when your own brain is trying to trick you into self-hatred.

Anyway, my very meandering point is that you are the only one responsible for your reaction to this situation. If you choose to distance yourself from your friends, it's understandable despite how painful that choice may be. If you choose to send them a message explaining your feelings and asking if there's a reason for their distance, that's also a valid choice. I think the important thing is to try your best to not view yourself as a "problem" here - if you've been trying to reach out and not getting responses, that's not your fault.

But I do encourage you to try and be patient when you don't know what they have going on. I realize this isn't easy, especially if you're someone who struggles with rejection sensitivity (relatable, I promise), but I urge you to try to give them the benefit of the doubt. In most cases, good friendships don't just end. They may fluctuate, especially at times like this, but there's always a chance that they don't even realize they're hurting you. Communication is something that's so important, as is honesty, and both are required for a solid friendship to be maintained.

I'm sorry if this isn't helpful, but it's the advice I have. Be open, be honest, and trust that your friends do care about you. If you doubt that, there's no harm in asking for reassurance. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to them - you deserve it. ♡

[noxexistant]

OKAY BUT WHY ARE YOU GONNA FREAKING TEASE US LIKE THAT. ARE YOU DIAGNOSING THE DELANCEYS OR NOT?!

IM SORRY i was too busy fully crying over the overwhelming response encouraging me to keep talking about my blorbos :’) i got very in my own head that i was being annoying, particularly about the delanceys, but hearing SO MANY PEOPLE ask to hear more is so wild n lovely n auuuuughhh i love you all

ANYWAY. we’re pulling the boys out of the blender to psychoanalyse them for once

cw; talk of food issues, abuse, substance abuse, plus all the usual stuff for my delancey interpretations

it’s rambling time

first of all, oscar.

he absolutely has symptoms of antisocial personality disorder, to start us off.

antisocial personality disorder, like bpd, can be caused both genetically and by abuse/neglect/instability during childhood, and details such as parents abusing alcohol or other substances can factor in. i headcanon both the delanceys’ parents to have abused alcohol, and particularly their mother to have been bipolar, which affects their upbringing and their own genetics/vulnerability to mental illness.

oscar is just so angry, all the time, as a child - nothing is fair, nothing is okay, and there isn’t even anything he can do about it. it’s this crushing sense of frustration and fear and helplessness. even at school, even when he’s really, honestly trying his best, he can’t pay attention. he knows he’s incredibly lucky to be going to school at all - morris’ll never go - but that just means he’s in trouble there as well as at home. he gets caned at school and then comes home to get beat. it’s not fair. nobody listens, nobody treats him well, but he has to look after morris anyway even though nobody’s ever looked after him.

the anger calcifies as he gets older. solidifies into this mass that sits inside him, taking up all the space for anything good. he becomes aggressive and impulsive, and learns to stop caring about other people because none of them can be trusted - enough people have proven themselves awful, his parents and everyone on the streets and snyder and the other kids in the refuge and weasel, so he’ll stop trying and trust they’re all the same. even someone who might not be a threat is probably worthless and useless, he has nothing to gain from doing anything but getting them out of the way, and oscar recognises his hypocrisy because he used to think similar things about morris, but morris is different.

morris is a part of oscar. he isn’t an outsider, he isn’t like anybody else, he’s the only thing in the entire world worth caring about, and oscar does. he doesn’t feel anything when he hurts or scares anyone else, at most feels a sense of satisfaction, but his stomach drops out when he accidentally scares or hurts morris, by shouting at him or moving too fast or doing one of the things that makes morris go empty-eyed and far away. oscar feels sick with guilt then - really, physically sick with it, like it’s surrounding the black mass of his anger and there isn’t enough space for it and it all just starts spilling out - and he doesn’t know how to cope. he doesn’t know how to stomach his love for morris. especially not when it has to sit next to all the anger like that. he tries so hard to keep the two away from each other, but he still gets angry at morris often, although nowhere near as often as he gets aggressive with anybody else. he hits morris sometimes, even though he really doesn’t mean to, and morris always says it’s okay. he says he’s not scared of oscar, not really, no matter what, because they’re them - the two of them, one entity. they’re entirely codependent.

morris has borderline personality disorder. which is also influenced by his autism - these two types of black-and-white thinking and sense of justice and general perception of the world, feeding into each other and creating a sense of isolation that keeps him away from everyone but oscar. oscar’s the only person who can be trusted, and morris loves him more than anything - way, way more than he loves himself, which is not at all. every part of morris, his moods and emotions and his worth and his willingness to do anything, ride wholly on oscar’s mood at that moment and how he’s treating morris. morris is far more likely to hurt himself if oscar is upset with him or not talking to him, which oscar knows, so once they’ve been in the refuge for a while he stops being upset with morris for any longer than the duration of one of his outbursts. he won’t let morris hurt himself anymore, will often encourage morris to hit him instead of hitting himself when he’s upset or frustrated.

still, morris is forever terrified that oscar will leave him just like ma and pa did, so he tries to be good. he tries to always agree with oscar, and keeps quiet when oscar’s having a bad turn, and he doesn’t get mad back even when oscar hits him, though that’s also in part because he can’t. the second morris gets hit like that, he shuts down - thinking about pa - and then everything’s gone for a few hours, maybe a day if it’s really bad. he’s lost months to dissociation before, whole years with only brief glimpses of the surface before he went back down, particularly while he and oscar were in the refuge. there’s things that scare him and upset him that he doesn’t understand because they’re parts of memories he doesn’t remember. he has little to no sense of self and no sense of self-worth, he has bouts of being sure he doesn’t need anyone but oscar and bouts of feeling so lonely he can hardly breathe. he feels empty a lot, but also feels angry and sad and desperately scared, and sometimes giddily happy but it never seems to last long. he thinks about dying a lot.

he also definitely has arfid. it’s a mix of a lot of triggers - his autistic sensitivity to foods, all his trauma surrounding food, and low interest in eating anyway because he can’t understand his own hunger cues and tends not to really enjoy food. he’s been malnourished his whole life, and largely still is, even nearing adulthood - he won’t eat like oscar does, wolfing down a whole plateful of whatever’s on offer, he can’t. he’s sick if he tries to eat food he doesn’t want, and/or has meltdowns. it terrifies oscar, who is just desperate for morris to eat at least enough to be healthy, but even oscar usually can’t convince morris to eat. he focuses on getting the particular foods that morris does like instead, and always keeping them so that he can get morris to eat a bite or two at a time throughout the day. on morris’ worst days, oscar will get him candy - his favourite, the only thing he’ll always eat - and let him eat that like a meal so he’s at least eating something.

that being said, oscar isn’t great about consuming stuff either. he likes alcohol too much, and he’ll do his damnedest to not drink a drop in front of morris but he’ll often sneak out once he knows morris is asleep and duck into a bar for an hour or two. he drinks like he’s trying to knock himself out, which he usually is. he likes a bar fight too - meaningless, usually, and no-holds-barred. he’ll glass someone for saying anything bad about his brother, or anything good about his parents. he drinks what his father used to, because he knows what it’s called and what it tastes like - he’d used to steal swigs from the bottles left out, when he was a little kid. he’d made morris try too, when he was the age oscar’d been when he first tried, but he’d spat it straight back out. oscar’d laughed at him, but now he’s grateful. morris hurts himself enough without adding drinking to the mix.

both of them have c-ptsd. morris has nightmares every single time he falls asleep for long enough, and doesn’t sleep much because of it. oscar has adhd - it influences his aggression and frustration, this constant burning restlessness that exists within him. he’s deeply impatient with anything he finds boring, which includes most people, and he most commonly “stims” with violence. the vast majority of morris’ stims border on self-harm, and he self-harms to stim too, but he has some positive stims - rocking back and forth, bouncing on his heels, stomping his feet, tracing the edges of objects, echolalia. he chews on things, including his own thumb, which he does both because it feels nice and because it hurts. sometimes that’s the same thing to him. he sucks his thumb too, especially for comfort, which ties into one final detail

morris age regresses, or does something adjacent. it’s this kind of undiagnosable no man’s land between his trauma and autism and developmental disability, but mainly just characterised by vulnerability and childishness. oscar’s the only one who really knows, mostly because he’s the only one who could ever notice, but he gets even more protective when he knows morris is more vulnerable - entirely nonverbal, just stimming and comfort-seeking. that’s when oscar sticks right by morris’ side, not getting restless or seeking out any fights for once, not talking for any reason other than to give morris something to listen to. just…looking after his brother, as best he can.

[rhysintherain]

15 and 18 for Jaheira, Karlach, and Shadowheart :D

Jaheira

Favorite ship for this character: this is a wildly unpopular opinion, but I actually liked the BG2 PC romance plot for Jaheira. It's messy, it's complicated, but so are relationships and especially so is Jaheira. It makes sense in character, and it's really well written and I spent SO MUCH TIME walking in circles in the wilderness to trigger all the dialogues. Again, keep in mind that I pick fictional relationships mostly for the chaos they cause.

A canon relationship I admire: I mean, Jaheira and Khalid are and always will be relationship goals, and I'm still mad about how that ended (even though I know their story wouldn't be as impactful as it is if it hadn't). They were 'opposites attract' personified, and you can see a little of Jaheira in Khalid at Bridgefort and a little of Khalid in Jaheira in BG3.

I also like how her friendship with Minsc has evolved in BG3. They argue constantly but would fight gods for each other. He was a statue for a century and they just... picked up where they left off when he thawed out. After so many people have come and gone in Jaheira's life, it's nice that she has one friend who keeps coming back against impossible odds (even when she tells him to get lost. ESPECIALLY when she tells him to get lost).

Shadowheart

Favorite ship for this character: I like Shadowheart and Karlach. Shadowheart's starting banter with almost everyone is standoffish and secretive, but she immediately warms up to Karlach. Their conversations are always a little bit flirty, and I doubt Shadowheart's attempts to keep people at arm's length would last even a minute with Karlach.

A canon relationship I admire: look, if you'd asked me to make up some off-the-cuff fake facts for Shadowheart when Skye first met her in the nautaloid, "her parents call her Jen and her best friend has purple hair and goes by Nocturne" probably would have been it. And maybe "secretly listens to Mandy Moore".

That said, I really love their friendship. Nocturne is the only thing Shadowheart remembers if you give her the noblestalk. She's the only one who doesn't attack the party in the Sharran sanctuary. Shadowheart does a full religious 180 and ends up hunted by her own people, and Nocturne manages to stay in touch anyway, even though she's not willing to leave herself. That's a level of pragmatism and devotion I rarely saw from the people I grew up with.

Karlach

Favorite ship for this character: Shadowheart or Wyll. I think Shadowheart would be a stabilising influence and Karlach could have a real future to look forward to (for the first time ever). They'll eventually settle down on a farm in Rivington and adopt a million stray animals and they absolutely deserve it.

But you can't beat the drama of Wyll and Karlach: that first moment when they meet and reality snaps apart, because this is supposed to be your enemy, but you can see inside their head and it's a reflection of your own. Everything is temporary because you could die, you could be pulled back to hell, you could become something horrible and you can't even say which horrible thing will claim you first. You're both desperate to be the heroes from your parent's stories, but you can't be sure the person you love sees anything but a monster when they look at you. You're the same in infinite ways, and sometimes that's heartbreaking.

Canon relationship that I admire: hero worship is less a pedestal than a flight of stairs. The literally less-than-a-minute from "wait, you're Karlach! We saw you fight in Elturel, you were AMAZING!" To "I can't believe I get to meet THE Jaheira! She's a legend, Mum used to tell me stories about how she saved the city!"

The irony of this is completely lost on Karlach, and I love that. She manages to learn from her role models, encourage her fans, and never quite realise how far up that staircase she actually is.

[kikyan]

Hiya, hope you're having a lovely day^^

Haven't done one of these before, so I hope I don't mess up (And that my request is still valid in-terms of the event end date).

I'd like to request a yan. mash up for TWST & ObeyMe!

I'm 18, my pronouns are they/them, I'm a Cancer and INTJ. I'm a pretty anxious person. Having social anxiety, agoraphobia, being a homebody and just being an overall introvert, I tend to keep to myself and avoid going outside much. Im an over-thinker and a night owl. When I'm around people that I don't feel comfortable with, I'm very much a quiet, shy, jumpy, awkward, paranoid, tired lookin' loner. But when I get comfortable and l'm with close friends or family, I'm quite the opposite. I'm bold, sarcastic, and have a witty sense of humor, I’m a cocky little shit that likes to tease the hell outta people (obv because that's how I show love ^ ^) | can also be reckless at times given the right environment. But aside from that I’m a pretty chill person. I love to learn and indulge in other people’s interests. At times I can be extremely overconfident and daring yet insecure and cautious^^ im also really loyal to everyone I care about, I value community and trust, caring and supportive, the list goes on. As for some of my (debatably) negative traits, I can be quite blunt and straight forward (I don’t like sugar coating ), defensive if I’m proven wrong, I can occasionally be indifferent, passive aggressive, reclusive and aloof if I get pissed/sad (even if it’s for something small). I’ve been told i have rbf •_•). I like cleanliness and neatness, but I can also be somewhat messy when I procrastinate cleaning. Hobbies: I love drawing, I have a crap ton of sketchbooks that are filled with drawings front to back, and some that have never seen a pencil before ^^; (I have my fair share of twst and obey me fan art =w=). Reading, reading, and ReaDing! I’m a book worm^^ i mostly read horror, thrillers, and mystery novels. Also, I’m incredibly obsessed with gothic literature and poetry (I’m a bit of a writer myself). I live for horror! Movies, books, shows, etc. I specifically like psychological, cosmic, and gothic horror. Music wise, I listen to rock, metal, alternative, indie rock, post-punk, and new wave. Though I’ve recently been more into 80’s post-punk (as of right now my fav band is Caifanes, definitely recommend them). Style: I don’t usually care much for the way that I look, i prefer comfort over style most of the time. I usually ware black, anime t-shirts, baggy jeans, leather jackets or oversized hoodies, and my go-to converse or docs. I dunno what else to include, so I guess I’ll talk about what kind of person I like. I like it when people can be honest and voice their feelings, concerns, wants and needs. I definitely appreciate a proper and mature way of communicating. My receiving and giving love language is quality time and physical affection, so having someone who loves to receive and give both is an immediate green flag in my book. I personally like clingier personalities to a healthy degree, I swear ^^; I definitely love people who are openly lovey and romantic, I find it adorable, especially cause I’d do the same right back. A person who loves to try new things, and who loves spicy food (cuz being a picky eater,,, that’s a deal breaker). I like someone who shares my same hobbies and is just as ambitious as me. And if not, that they at least support and encourage me to do what I like. Personality wise, I like a person who is soft and caring, romantic, honest, noble, creative, humble, cautious, a night owl (so that me can both stay up late into the night) someone more mentally stable then me (that or just as mentally unstable as me =^=) and lastly someone who would also indulge in my hobbies with me. I hope I added enough of the right things for this request and that it’s not confusing >x< it’s long I know. Anyways, thank you so much for your work, I love everything you write, hope to see more of it. Take care love ^,^)/♡

I have no words to explain why this took months. I don't know, but better late than never. . .right? You probably heard this before and it won't come as a surprise but I match you with Idia (TWST) and Levi (OM!)! 

When it comes to what I gathered from your personality, you probably relate to them more instead of simping but I see you with them! Side note, I WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND OMG YOU SOUND SO COOL?? I ALSO WANT TO SEE THE ART PLS! PLS LET'S BE FRIENDS! 

Moving forward...I see how they would both love you. You love their hobbies but understand them like nobody else. With Idia, his love for you starts when you start to open up about your hobbies. He probably starts to think about you but not in the best way at first. When he notices you like the same things but he probably wouldn't see them as a reason to get closer. He may find it as an excuse to not approach you because he's not sure if you're a casual fan or a fan-fan. Would you be disgusted with him? Find him as one of those cringe fans who bring the fandom down. Are you a casual enjoyer who wouldn't understand his passion? Though he would love to share his passion, would you look down upon him like everyone else? I'm not quite sure if I included this in my headcanons, but Idia is an observer. Which I think makes him open up to you because he can see the real you. I want to say that if we follow the story of the game, you probably don't meet Idia until after you established some friends with Ace and Deuce. He probably has some image of you already established, no doubt you're very social. When you mentioned how you were someone very shy and quiet when first meeting someone, you probably do it to be nice or at the very least, respectful. He probably sees that side of you at first and doesn't think much of it. He probably thinks that his likes and dislikes would scare you away until he overhears maybe Deuce or Ace talk, "You like that? I never would have expected you to like that, [Reader]?" That's when he gains a little boost, you like the same thing he does. Not to mention you're a shy thing, so no harm in at least trying. I think once he finally does talk to you, he can see all the unique things about you as well as how similar you both are. Idia is the same, spoilers for the phantom bride card but he hated the whole ordeal. In his vignette, the rest of the students hyped him up so much that he kinda got overconfident making everyone regret saying anything. He didn't do it to be a bitch, but rather he said it because he was comfortable around the others. Who wouldn't? So he would return that sarcastic humor. He would probably love teasing the hell out of you. Stay up all night gaming with you, exchanging messages left and right, etc. I can already imagine the list of recommendations that both of you exchange. He would love seeing your art and hype you up, maybe even propose writing a story together. Of course, this is yandere so what is yandere without the horror aspect? Idia wouldn't exactly show you off but he would be so content with calling you, his. His friend, his S/O, his partner, his gaming buddy, etc. He's not like Leona who would strut into the room with his arm around your shoulder, but he would love it when you say, "Oh yeah, sorry I can't tonight. I'm hanging out with MY partner tonight." Of course, don't tell the others it's him because right now he can't handle that feeling! He would love spending quality time, he's not at all picky with what is being done as long as it's with you. Watching anime together? Done deal. He's gaming and you're working on something else across from him? God imagine he looking up to see you so focused, he just smiles lightly at the idea of you spending time with him and then you look up and see him. His face is BEAT RED, stuttering and looking back at his PC while his headphones have his online friends yelling at him to pay attention and to assist them. He's clingy to a not-so-healthy degree and will often set up scenarios to gain pity so you have to cancel and hang with him. I want to say that while his heart cannot handle the affection IRL he would love the idea of holding your hand and cuddling against you. Imagine he's pouting because he maybe received the worst news, but you're there to comfort him? His world is perfect if your attention and affection remain on just him and him only. 

Okiedoki, now Levi. They're the same but so different.  As I started to play Obey me again and literally from the beginning, I love their family dynamic. Though they all love each other, they're not afraid to tell each other their faults either. I think with Levi it's no surprise that he sees himself as inferior to his siblings. I mean Mammon is scummy but he's a model. Asmo has a vlog and is well-loved even if it gets to his head. Satan is hella studious and has a temper, Belphie is just there and Beel; he has a good heart but his stomach knows no bounds. No need to point out Lucifer, he's polished and pristine, with no flaws that he can vocalize without being strung upside down.

I mean why would you want to be with him? Like Idia, when he finds out you like the same content he does he's probably on the skeptical side as well. I mean, really? Do you like that? When he finally does talk to you about it, he wants to prioritize your time. "[Reader], did you want to-? Oh sorry, you probably already have plans huh?" It's no doubt he assumes you rather want to do anything else other than be with him. When you take him up on his offer, he's so overcome with joy. A blush on his face as he excitedly takes your hand rushing to his room to do the equivalent of setting up the table but rather dinner, setting up an anime marathon. He is smitten with you, another one with a not-so-healthy clingier personality. Another one who just wants to spend time with you, it doesn't have to be anything specific either. I think as time goes on he can become confident too, sometimes even challenging you, He becomes sarcastic, occasionally laughing at memes and sending them to you with a simple "reminded me of you". I think the biggest thing is that Levi could be 100% honest with you. At first, he may not want to voice his feelings, but when you reassure him, he just lets it all out. Though Levi may not love horror himself, he loves your style and appreciates your passion as well. He thinks you're so cool and to be able to stand next to you, gosh you have ways of getting to him. He would proudly march his ass to a movie theater to watch the scariest film as long as he can hold your hand during the entire movie. Let's talk about yanderes, he's the same with Idia where he would 100% say something that forces you to drop what you're doing to spend time with him. Another is, I like to think Levi has been on some sketchy websites, spreading rumors about people who approach you. When those rumors as well as "proof" start circling, you should stay away from them. I stand by the idea that the brother would help one another to keep their S/O trapped. Levi may ask of Asmo's services when digging up gossip and possibly Belphie's to stalk the victim in their sleep and torture them from the inside. While all this happens, Levi will continue to play the role of the perfect boyfriend. 

I hope you enjoyed your matchup!! Thank you for your continuous support, have a wonderful day!

[mentalguider]

Let's talk eating disorders

 Now I know some of you may have flinched a bit reading that title. However, I encourage you to stay and learn a few things.

 Knowing if someone is struggling

              Often, eating disorders, (Especially in sports) go unrecognized, and untreated. This is because of the stigma wrapped around them. This is because people often look for things such as:

-Weight loss

-Not eating

-Dizziness

              HOWEVER, what if I told you that less than 6% of those struggling with an eating disorder are actually underweight? Some even gain weight. Any body type can have any type of eating disorder. Additionally, PEOPLE WITH EATING DISORDERS EAT!!! If they didn’t eat, they wouldn’t be alive. It’s important not to just eliminate the question of someone having an eating disorder just because you saw them eat. Some not so noticeable symptoms include

-Complaining about being cold

-Wearing baggy clothes

-Avoiding food in social situations/avoiding types of food

-Slow heart rate

-Hair falling out

-Dizziness

-Zoning out

-Watching food videos

-Body checking

-Losing period

-Trouble sleeping

-Cuts on fingers (from purging)

-Extra layer of hair on body

              Keep in mind, not everyone with an eating disorder has these symptoms. Symptoms can also be specific to the person, or specific to the disorder.

              Should you confront them?

              In short, yes. Eating disorders are the deadliest mental illness, not matter the disorder or the person’s size. However, you want to approach them the right way. Find a time with just the two of you, in a calm environment away from others. Leading up to the conversation make sure to be very supportive to this person and let them know you care about them (which, spoiler, try to do this anyway!) Don’t dodge around the subject, just say it. “Hey, I have a question for you. As your friend I've just been really worried about you lately. I’ve been noticing this this and this. Do you have an eating disorder?” You don’t want to say it in a stigmatized manner, or they’ll be less likely to open up to you. Avoid saying things like “You’ve lost weight do you have an eating disorder or something?” or “I swear you’re so skinny/big you probably have an eating disorder."

              Supporting them

              Supporting the struggling person is very important. Let them know you care, and you will be there for them no matter what. If you’re able to ask if there is any else you can involve (parents, siblings, roommates, teachers, etc.) to help them in their battle. If they need to, let them vent to you. Small things you can do to help include:

-Saying yes if they ask to get food

-Asking if they want food

-Be there for them if they want to challenge a fear food

-Make sure they know you’ll love them no matter what their weight

[taffywabbit]

really warms my heart to see how many ppl have reblogged this with tags or comments about how having a fursona has improved their life in some way, or (even cooler!) how this post gave them enough of a push to start thinking about creating one! i kinda just wrote this post on a random whim and didn't expect such a widely positive response.

for me personally, my sona often fluctuates between being a very personal and euphoric self-insert that i can project ideas and emotions onto, and just sort of a funny little art mascot i can use to represent myself online, so sometimes i kinda forget just how dearly beloved these little personalized critters are by a lot of people. like "making a fursona and having that as an emotional outlet saved my life" type stories. it's cool as hell and i'm really happy for them!

however, a lot of folks who are in the "i don't have a fursona but now i might wanna make one" camp seem to frequently be unsure where to start with this stuff, though, so i thought i'd offer a little advice for that!

first thing is that this process is gonna come down to a little trial and error most of the time. none of your decisions are set in stone, you can always change things up later as you see fit (and hell, you can even have multiple fursonas for varying moods/purposes/etc if you want! people do it all the time. also, lots of folks give their fursonas hybrid traits, like a cat-dragon or a shark-wolf or a griffin or whatever, so that's an option too! mix-n-match)! people are complicated and a fursona always serves as a great canvas for personal experimentation and expression, whether you've had them for a decade or a day already.

focusing specifically on the choice of animal tho, it's handy if you already have a favourite animal for one reason or another (maybe aesthetically, behaviorally, symbolically, or some mix of these) but your favourite animal isn't always gonna be one that you think really represents you personally. that's fine! i adore cats IRL but i could never really see myself having a cat fursona. the important thing is that now you're THINKING about making a fursona, so now you can keep your eyes and ears open to inspiration when it comes along. i originally just picked a bunny because they're cute and cartoon bunnies are pretty easy/fun to draw, but as time went on i picked up loose knowledge about their traits and behaviors and realized "hey, i'm quiet and polite and loud noises make me anxious, i'm happiest sleeping and waking up at unusual hours, i like to feel small and cozy and safe, i'm a little bit mischievous but bad at serious confrontation... maybe this was a better fit than i thought!" and now i can't really imagine myself picking anything else. got it in one. but if i HADN'T lucked into that on the first try, those kinds of observations would've helped me get there eventually. look at animals, learn things about animals, and keep the thought in the back of your mind of "do i feel a connection to any of this?" as you do so. something might just click into place one day!

failing all that, idk, just pick a critter you think looks neat, give it a couple colours and some cool hair or whatever, and see what happens from there! not everyone's fursona has personal meaning to them and that's fine too! also, if you have a friend who knows you decently well (especially if they're an artist) you can usually ask them for creative input and bounce ideas off them. friends are often really good at putting a finger on unique defining qualities that you may not have noticed about yourself, and that can help a LOT with this stuff.

anyways that's all the advice i got, hope it helps! even if you don't end up actually settling on a fursona, or feeling like this is right for you in general, you might still benefit in some way from the process of reaching that conclusion and i sincerely encourage you to give it some thought if it sounds interesting to you. have fun out there!

I think more people should make fursonas and I'm dead serious. the process of self-exploration that naturally comes along with creating a funny little critter to represent yourself is SO valuable, as you consider the types of animals you vibe with and what kind of aesthetic/colours/personality/etc suit you and stuff like that (fun fact this process is how I figured out I was transgender lol. not saying that will happen to you but just proving that you can learn a LOT about yourself through this design process and any subsequent design changes)

and then when you're all done, you have a little freak you can do whatever you want with! edit them poorly into memes, commission lavish oil paintings of them to hang in your mansion, use them as a personal online mascot, design a fucked up evil twin for them to fight, soak them in milk and throw them at the wall, anything really. same stuff some people do with fandom characters they really like, except it's 100% yours and nobody can tell you you're doing it wrong! also now you have an animal your friends can associate with you and they'll send you funny pics/videos of that animal that make them think of you. literally it's just wins all the way down for you and everybody you associate with. everyone should have one of these things!!

[princessrazzledazzle]

If the planets in our solar system were people, this is how I imagine them to be…

Mercury- He’s obviously the shortest of the bunch both in his human form and celestial form, which he’s pretty embarrassed about. He’s also quiet and shy, not really daring to speak up about something when he’s all by himself, in fact he doesn’t like being by himself either, it makes him feel inferior and unwanted. Whenever he’s not with the other 7 planets doing planet things, he spends most of the time with Sun, as he’s his closest friend. He likes going on runs around the solar system, mostly delivering letters and messages from and to other celestials, so he basically knows everything that’s going on drama wise. Sun and the other planets try to encourage him to have more confidence, but he hates doing things outside his comfort zone, he does appreciate their efforts though.

Venus- She’s hotheaded and temperamental, always taking offense to the most mundane comments, but besides that, she’s actually pretty friendly once you get past that, despite her resting bitch face. But by friendly, she’s be like that one friend who’s always angry and starts arguments and fights for no reason, but never truly means any harm. She also thinks of herself as a princess, constantly dressing and acting like one, meaning she tries to boss everyone around, though no one takes her seriously, and thinks she’s the prettiest thing in the solar system (which is debatable). She a hopeless romantic too and gives great relationship advice (sometimes reluctantly), though she can’t manage to apply that advice to herself. She gets easily frustrated and impatient and as a result, it causes volcanos to erupt on her surface.

Earth- She’s chill, but it’s clear to all the other planets that she’s slowly losing her cool due to all the activity animals cause on her surface, mostly humans. Sometimes she wishes she didn’t have the ability to host any sort of life, but at the same time, she’s very proud of that fact, thinking of herself as unique. She’s also twin sisters with Venus, whom she sometimes finds irritating, but loves her anyway. In her celestial form, she always makes sure to keep herself calm, not getting too angry or overexcited, as it causes natural disasters to happen and she don’t want to harm any of her creatures, this happens to all the planets, but since they don’t have any life, they don’t worry about it too much. She’s a curious person and won’t hesitate to ask questions, whether it’s just to learn something new or to uncover the truth.

Mars- He’s a loud and playfully aggressive guy, but also a little temperamental too, but he tries not to show it. He’s super friendly to pretty much everyone he meets, always greeting others with high fives and fist bumps, and if he’s close enough with someone, he’ll greet them with a tight bone crushing hug. He’s naturally strong, though he rarely uses his strength for anything useful or productive. He loves play wrestling and sneak attacking his friends, especially Venus, much to her dismay. He sometimes likes to pretend to be a knight or a war general, protecting others from danger, but in reality, he’s more of a human shield, not because of him being the second smallest of the planets, but because he’s kinda immature and just takes things head on instead of actually thinking.

Jupiter- The tough guy of the group, or would be if wasn’t so soft on the inside. As the biggest and strongest celestial in the solar system not counting Sun, he feels as if it’s his duty to protect everyone and always tries his hardest to achieve that, especially with the rocky planets. He also has a resting bitch face, but he does actively try to shoot dirty looks at others sometimes, mostly rude aliens (humans included) and rouge comets, asteroids, and meteors that pose a threat. Just like Mars, he gives bone crushing bear hugs to those he’s close with, but unlike Mars, he does it more out of protectiveness than out of playfulness. Despite him always trying to appear stern and serious, he always unknowingly says the funniest, out of pocket things. He also unknowingly does a lot of silly and childish things like biting his nails and collecting plushies, and he gets angry whenever someone points it out.

Saturn- The most dramatic of all the celestials, always overreacting over the simplest things, but instead of being loud about it, she’ll make up some fake sob story. She loves to dress like a Victorian era queen, though she doesn’t really try to act like a queen, she’s too excitable to be all “fancy and sophisticated”. She’s also a little airheaded and sassy, which causes her to insult people on accident. Her ring collection is very precious to her, so precious to wear she literally cries if one of them is missing and only gives Jupiter (and occasionally Uranus and Neptune) permission to touch them, not just because he has a few rings too and knows how important they are, but because they’re husband and wife. She’s very proud and cocky of the fact that she has the most and the brightest rings in the solar system.

Uranus- The awkward and weird one of the bunch, she’s always rambling on about something random, telling unfunny jokes, or just being downright creepy (NOT IN A GROSS WAY). Despite people from the outside thinking that she’s only those things and the other celestials just tolerate her, she’s loved and accepted as much everyone else in the group, no matter how much she annoys them. She can never walk in a straight line and always goes in zigzags, sometimes tripping over her own feet. She’s also the nerdiest of the group and has a bunch of collections ranging from normal things like rocks, to strange things like alien eyes. Has zero filter and is too honest and straightforward about everything to the point where it’s actually hard to tell if she’s telling the truth sometimes. Whenever she’s being too weird or annoying, her brother, Neptune is usually the one to tell her to shut up.

Neptune- The cold and stoic one of the celestials (what Jupiter wishes he could be), until you get past his stormy exterior, he’s pretty warm on the inside. He’s temperamental and gets frustrated a lot too, but he mostly just keeps it to himself and never really yells unless he’s provoked. But he never really has to speak out about those things anyways on account of his mean, scary looking resting face making people not even wanting to interact with him at all, which secretly embarrasses and upsets him. He’s also slightly embarrassed about being the smallest of the gas giants and always tries to appear bigger than he is. He’s not very talkative like the other planets, besides Mercury, though unlike Mercury he prefers to be on his own half of the time, needing more time to process his thoughts than the others. Despite that, he barely gets alone time anyway thanks to Uranus being so clingy towards him (which he doesn’t mind as much as he act like he does).

[darklingichor]

Cheaper by the Dozen; Belles on Their Toes, by Ernestine Gilbreth Carey & Frank B Gilbreth 

Happy New Year!

And so starts year four of me rambling about books!

I don't have a theme or a count goal this year. I just get a kick out of doing this, so, onward!

I recently rewatched Cheaper by the Dozen, the one staring Steve Martin.

I knew that the movie was very loosely based on a real family but only in that the real family had 12 children. I found out that there was a book, and I did what I always do, I found it and read it, which lead me to the sequel.

The Gilbreths, Parents Frank and Lillie had 12 kids:

Anne, Mary, Ernestine, Martha, Frank,  Bill, Lillian, Fred, Dan, Jack, Bob, and Jane, between 1905 and 1922.

That's the hook of the story, but there is so much more to it than: Look at all those kids!

Other than the number of kids (which if you want to get technical after 1912 there were 11 children as Mary passed away at age 6. However,  she was always included in the count. This makes complete sense to me as she was still a presence, after all, for her parents and siblings).

Anyway, the Gilbreths were nothing like the Steve Martin family portrait in the 2003 movie.

Frank and Lillie both pioneered motion study, to increase efficiency in the workplace. Frank was a smart man, no doubt, and devised several ways of using motion study in his home with his large brood, making learning interactive and fun teaching his kids various things with games, and involving them in the day-to-day activities that made the family run. Lillie was brilliant. She earned many college degrees, including a Ph.D and eventually developed what we now call ergonomics. And was committed to her and Frank's motion study businesses. She was a loving mother, quietly keeping everyone in harmony, all of this while giving birth over a dozen times.

The kids were all treated as individuals, and their own interests and personalities were encouraged to blossom.

I don't think I have ever read a book where "charming " is the most apt descriptor, before Cheaper by the Dozen. A collection of stories that detail the various happenings,  from Frank being outmaneuvered by his own efficiency ideas, into getting a dog, to eldest daughter Anne rebelliously chopping her hair into a bob. The love of the family shines through and I was charmed from the first page.

Belles on Their Toes, is just as good, but has a different tone. It takes place just days after Frank Sr.'s death from a heart attack

Lillie had to figure out a way to make and save money, while keeping the family together.

Lillie's family wanted her and the children to move from New Jersey to her childhood estate in California. Neither she nor the children wanted that.

Various neighbors had offered to adopt some of the children to ease the financial strain. It wasn't explicitly said in the book, but considering how Lillie and the kids buckled down, my guess is that the response to that was a determined, if silent, "Hell, no!"

Lillie managed to put together an action plan by working with the children and continuing with her and Frank's consulting business.

She also got creative, opening a school to teach interested companies about motion study, efficiency, workplace psychology, and engineering.

Another way she got people to listen to her was to focus on "woman's work" like the layout of a kitchen. Saving time, by saving motion, by making the kitchen smaller. She's the one to thank, I gather for the way apartment kitchens function today.

Cheaper by the Dozen is really about Frank and the kids, Belles on Their Toes is about Lillie and the kids. Mother and brood worked together to tighten the budget, she showed just how much trust he had in the kids in general and the older ones especially,  by leaving them occasionally, when she had to, (the 18 year old in charge, of course with their loyal if excentric cook/handyman/whatever they needed, Tom to support) to make talks and generally convince the business's clientele that she could manage, alone, what she and Frank built. The 1920's and such being what they were she had to work so much harder to get people to take their heads out of their asses, than she should have.

The kids were committed to the plan. I'm sure that in actual reality there were bumps and tantrums along the way, but from what was in the book, all but the very youngest knew what was on the line, and worked together to make everything function while also making sure that the kids could still be kids.

It was actually the efforts to ensure that the family stay together and that Frank's wish that all of the kids go to college, that made for some of the best stories.

Like, how immediately after Lillie left for her first lecture tour, all of the kids came down with chicken pox and they managed to get better and keep it from her with only a little bickering and light sibling death threats.

Or, how to help with costs, it was decided that all suits which were going tobe handed down from brother to brother, had to be agreed upon by all who would eventually have to wear it. This led to a harrowing day for a department store salesman, who was probably left with a healthy respect for Lillie's serene demeanor.

I adored these books.