#anyway my parents are like . very strict when it comes to age restrictions

[temeow]

god im so upset i wont be able to play the yttd steam release 😢😢😢😢😢😢

[bedofthistles]

The Little White Horse: Loveday and Benjamin and the Geraniums 

The fight between Loveday Minette and Sir Benjamin

TL;DR

First of all, Loveday and Benjamin are first cousins. Yes, you read that right, First Cousins. And Robin and Maria? Second cousins. 

Yeah I don’t like it either. 

“My father and Sir Benjamin's father and your grandfather were brothers," said Loveday. "There were only the three of them, and each of them had only one child; Sir Benjamin, myself, your father; and so now the Merryweathers are a very small family, just Sir Benjamin and myself and you."

When Loveday was orphaned at the age of ten, she moved to Moonacre Manor with her Aunt, and her Twenty-Five year old First cousin Benjamin. 

Let me repeat that: HER TWENTY-FIVE YEAR OLD FIRST COUSIN. 

So Sir Benjamin is a predator. 

Heavens above, anyway. 

When Loveday comes to Moonacre Manor, all she has are the clothes on her back and ten pots of geranium cuttings. Salmon Pink Geraniums. Now, despite how silly that is, these flowers matter to Loveday because they were the “pride of Cornwall”. They are the only thing she has to remember her home and parent’s by. These aren’t just flowers to her, but the final mementos of her family. 

Sir Benjamin’s mother's hatred of pink and geraniums leads to Loveday’s inability to wear pink, or keep the geraniums anywhere but in her room. Loveday tells Maria that her aunt was severe and strict. Loveday loves the color pink, and she loves her geraniums, but Loveday is restricted by her Aunt and unable to wear what she wants to wear freely, and keep something that she views as a representation of her parents and family, private. 

“When I was a child of ten he was a splendid young man of twenty-five, and, as I said, he was kind to me and I loved him; even though he shared his mother's dislike of pink geraniums. For he was not like his mother, always talking about the things he disliked; he just kept his mouth shut and did not mention them.”

A couple of years pass, Sir Benjamin (in his early thirties) and Loveday (still a fucking teenager) are engaged to be wed in springtime. In winter, his mom dies, but they don’t move their wedding date and still plan on getting married in a few months. Despite the fact that you were expected to mourn for at least a year, I imagine the mourning period would also include not getting married, but I digress. 

It is also made very clear how Sir Benjamin feels in regards to the women in his life: 

“I cannot tell you how much I loved him, Maria. And he loved me, too, though he loved his mother more."

Now, I’m sure that your synapses are just firing off, that your reading skills and critical thinking abilities are great and you know what’s coming next! 

“And then, Maria, one spring evening just before our wedding day, I did a very stupid thing."

We really only get to see this story from Loveday’s perspective, and not from Sir Benjamin’s, I’m sure Goudge is expecting us to find Loveday a reliable narrator, and I’m sure Loveday isn’t lying, but it would have been nice to at least get Sir Ben’s perspective.

The night before their wedding, or just about, the Merryweathers are having the Parson over for dinner, for what I imagine is similar to an engagement dinner, rehearsal dinner, and wedding counseling for us. While Sir Benjamin is out on a horse ride, Loveday decides to take all of her Salmon Pink Geraniums out of her room and decorate the house with them.  At this point, her room was overflowing with pink geraniums, and there was simply no more room for them in her chambers. So, what I find to be very arrogant, Loveday takes all the geraniums out of her room, wears a pink dress, and greets both cousin/fiance and Parson at the door. 

Of course, Sir Benjamin is furious (and in my opinion, I do think Loveday, up to this point, is in the wrong. As far as I’m concerned this is a clear lack of communication, and very disrespectful to her mother-in-law/aunt/the woman who took care of her most of her life) but can’t do anything because the Parson is there, and he has to be sociable. 

“When Old Parson had gone he told me exactly what he thought of me. He has the Merryweather temper, you know, even though he is so sunny and genial, and when he was a young man he could behave like a roaring lion. And he raged and stormed that night until his anger nearly lifted the roof off. He said that I had insulted the memory of his saintly mother and that I was not worthy to follow in her footsteps. And he said other things that made me very angry, so that I said hard things too. Among other things I said that his mother had not been a saint at all but a very wicked woman to be so severe with a little girl as she had been with me over my love of pink. And no saint hates geraniums, I said. Saints love all the flowers that God has made, especially the salmon pink geraniums of Cornwall, because God never made lovelier flowers than those. And at that Sir Benjamin picked up all the pots of geraniums within reach and flung them out of the window into the rose garden."

So Loveday runs away and marries a lawyer out of pure spite.   

“And the son of the house [she was working in], a young lawyer, fell in love with me on sight, and I married him as soon as it could possibly be arranged, because he was kind and I liked him, and in my pride and anger I wanted to put it beyond Sir Benjamin's power to get me back again."

Now I would like us to take a look at the fight that happens in the Secret of Moonacre. 

Sir Benjamin is not insulted by her choice of floral arrangements, he is angered by the fact that she is the daughter of his enemy. He believes she came and tricked him into loving her, that she was using him to find the pearls. 

Loveday lies to him about her name to protect herself. While we are not given her reason as to why - it could have been that she was trying to find the pearls, and didn’t want his wrath and anger, so donned a false name; it could have been she was sent by her father to find the pearls but fell in love with him nonetheless - we know that she did truly love him, and chose him over her own family. 

Either way, the fight Loveday De Noir and Sir Benjamin have is much more nuanced. It is reasonable for these people to be upset. Sir Benjamin is angry that he was lied to, and Loveday is upset because he could not look past her name and love her regardless, that he would not listen to her as she tried to tell him that her love for him was genuine. 

Also, Loveday De Noir doesn’t go off and petty-marry a lawyer so he can’t have her. 

The fight that Sir Benjamin and Loveday Minette have in the book is childish and moronic, while the fight Sir Benjamin and Loveday De Noir have is nuanced and devastating.

Edit: my sister mentioned that Loveday was treated very harshly as a child, and felt free to express herself for the first time and was treated harshly for it. I don’t think this changes my stance on Loveday being in the wrong (they both are) as a couple, they lacked communication, which is a cornerstone for relationships. However, that does make me more sympathetic for how Sir Benjamin treated her

Conclusion: they miscommunicated, but Sir Benjamin is a grooming pedophile, so he’s definitely in the wrong

Prev | Next

[lottiecrabie]

Let's discuss families 🙏🏻

On Matty's side, his parents would love girlie cus she's really nice, my girl is educated, obvs has good grades in school and most important brings the best of his emo teen and she loves him. I'd like to think that Matty has a decent to good relationship with his parents, I feel like he'd ask for advice if he feels like something it's not going well in his relationship with girlie

On girlie's side, that household feels like living hell, no wonder why girlie has mommy issues😭 I feel like she's close to his father, maybe she has enough trust to talk to her dad about certain things, like relationships at her age and she has a little interest outside of church an blabla, maybe it's a secret between both. I feel like he's more chill than his wife. On the other side, her mom freaks out easily and has zero chill, she'd be like 'i just want the best to my girl, that's why I'm very strict w/her's but this restrictions only work to turn your kid into 'the black sheep' of the family. She'd have a heart attack if my girl is dating someone outside of church (Matty) and would take her to the confessionary every week😭

This little rant was linger than I expected 😫

i think matty has a decent relationship with his family that is a bit more strained rn as he’s deep in his teen angst. it’s pretty normal for teenagers to distance themselves from their family and go through the whole no one understands me😫😫 phase and, on top of that, i think he’d resent being moved to the us, meaning he’s not on the best terms with them at the very moment. although, there is genuine love between them and he knows they’re there for him if he needs it.

i don’t think he would talk to them much about his personal life. when reader and him officially start dating, she would make sure to present herself officially to his parents (and not just be the girl that’s sneaking out of his room in the early morning😭) and that’s the only reason they know he’s seeing someone. they would 100% love her bc she’s, as you said, sort of this ‘perfect’ good girl they Never expected matty to go for, but also because she mellows out his most intense personality traits, mainly his ‘fuck everyone nothing matters’ teen angst. and she genuinely seems to make him happy. his parents would Love telling all sorts of embarrassing stories about him to her.

on her side, it’s obviously completely different. i’ve made it pretty clear that she has mommy issues as her mother is a very domineering, controlling woman. she’s a nagger who’s obsessed with apparences and constantly nitpicks at reader’s every doing. i think her dad is just as strict but in much more quiet, sober way. he’s very much an enabler. i tried to mimic the stereotypical family dynamics were the dad is barely involved and only comes in to have the last word, generally agreeing with whatever the wife said. ofc, it’s hard to show family dynamics when most of the fic is straight porn so i’m very aware it doesn’t much show! the one moment i managed to sneak in is when the mother says she doesn’t where reader’s dirtiness came from and he basically just answers ‘not me!’ (it’s interesting to me to learn how you see her father bc while writing pfms3 i was like…. damn did i make him too nice.. i really didn’t want to blame all the family issues on her mother)

anyway they would obviously pop a blood vessel and faint when they find out she’s dating matty. like he’s Everything they’re against and don’t want for her. it would create many many fights inside the house (obviously always keeping this smiling, mindlessly happy front outside). just screaming at her to break up, that he’s no good, that they’re Not allowing her to date, that she’s grounded, that they’re immensely disappointed in her, that it’s not the little girl they raised, etc etc. they would rly try to break them up and get even More appalled when, bc of their even stricter rules, reader starts sneaking around and doing more forbidden things (ie. drinking, smoking, partying, etc.) i see reader as absolutely Not backing down, even going as far as refusing to go to church if they don’t stop threatening her. it’s an extremely messy, imploding family affair. you know the whoooole town is whispering about it behind their back

i think the conflict would get resolved by her straight up just moving out for college. they can’t control her from a distance and the longer matty sticks around, the more they’re forced to accept he will just Be There and he’s a permanent fixture. they slowly chill even though they Never fully warm up to him and always have some clear disdain, no matter how long they’ve been together or how successful he is. they know how to hold a grudge!

[astrologyandlife]

jupiter and saturn together in the natal chart

i have noticed that, in many of my readings, people have both jupiter and saturn sitting in the same house of their natal chart. this makes sense because a conjunction between the two occurs every 20 years. and to me, this signals an important theme: the need to overcome struggle to unlock the opportunities of that house.

first house - there's difficulty expressing yourself fully. it's like you want to be optimistic and have faith in yourself, but something is holding you back from that. you are almost afraid of being let down. as a result, you carry around this fear and caution about everything. you doubt yourself. when people first meet you, these struggles can be visible to them. the important thing here is that you are the cultivator of your experience, and when you can work through your feelings about yourself and your environment, you will notice that you attract good luck and opportunity. you have the power to consciously change how you approach the world around you through a smile, a little bit of faith, and a more positive attitude. second house - growing up, you lacked some form of security in your life. this could have been in the form of coming from a poorer background, or having a parent(s) that did not consistently care for you in some way. and because you were not valued by those in your early environment, you struggle to ascribe value to yourself. you may develop habits of holding onto things out of fear that you will never have them again. the lesson from this placement is to understand your own worth, and to know that you are entitled to a comfortable, happy, satisfying life. using this framework you will attract wealth and opportunity. third house - the hardest part about this placement is that you feel as though you are somehow "stupid" or your ideas aren't worthwhile. you could have struggled in your early school years for various reasons ranging from not understanding the material to being in an environment that refused to accommodate your needs. you rarely share your own ideas, and you fear being rejected, wrong, or made fun of by others. you must let go of this hesitation and remind yourself that you have valuable ideas to share with the world. you have the power to persuade, to motivate, and to invigorate. in fact, once you stop second-guessing yourself, you will notice that your genius shines proudly. fourth house - your early childhood experiences were, and still are, challenging for you. you could have experienced hardship as a result of being treated poorly by your parents or even going through some trauma in the home, especially if saturn makes aspects to mars or pluto. you have fears stemming from your childhood that hold you back. what is going to be important for you is building a home for yourself that is safe, secure, and stable. in doing so, your chosen family will grow and provide you with the support you need to flourish. fifth house - you have artistic and creative talents, but it is possible that when you were younger, you received heavy messaging that these talents were in some way invaluable or unimportant. As a result, relaxation and self-expression on a creative level is severely restricted. you feel like you always have to justify the things you love. however, you are allowed to simply exist and enjoy things for their sake. once you allow yourself to be creative to the extent you are capable, you will find that it will bring opportunity and happiness to you. sixth house - i definitely get the sense that you have had to be responsible from a very young age, taking care of the chores around the house, watching over yourself, etc. perhaps your parents were particularly strict with you and imposed a lot of restrictions on your daily life. these lessons instilled within you have lead you to desire routine and organization, because you fear chaos. you also tend to put too much on yourself, leading to burnout and extreme stress. here you must unlearn any negative habits or routines you have created for yourself, including overworking yourself. in doing so, you will feel much more calm and collected, which will help you physically and mentally. seventh house - there is a lot of stress and anxiety that comes from long-term relationships. the biggest fear here is the fear that you will never find someone who can fully love and commit to you. though you have a lot to offer, you feel completely

inexperienced or as though you are nothing special. there can be a tendency to downplay your own gifts and strengths. as a result, you feel very lonely in your early life and may be distrustful of love. you are afraid of opening yourself up to rejection and pain, so you avoid forming strong attachments or giving too much of yourself. having faith in yourself and what you have to offer, as well as being confident, will attract people who have an abundance of love and affection to give to you. eighth house - this placement can be heavily indicative of one or more life-changing, traumatic experiences, namely when pluto is involved. this experience has transformed you in some major way, likely inducing a fear of change or the unknown within you. you hold on to these memories and this pain in your heart, which stunts your growth as a person. the second half of the healing must be a conscious act by you, wherein you decide that you have what it takes to continue surviving. there is definitely a need for complete rebirth here. once you have come out on the other side, the magic of life itself will be revealed to yourself. you will become resilient in ways you could never imagine, and you will have the strength to overcome anything. ninth house - i have the feeling that your early life was extremely narrow and did not allow you to explore the world around you properly. perhaps your parents were extremely overprotective of you, or overbearing in sharing their opinions with you, and this was a very suffocating feeling. your own opinions and ideas were not welcome by the people in your life, and often they were even shut down. so you must start anew with your independence. remain open and take time to immerse yourself in anything you can, especially ideas radically different from your own. by opening your mind, jupiter will reward you with a wealth of knowledge and experience from which you can draw. tenth house - early on in your life, ideas of what it means to be successful, accomplished, and a productive member of society were heavily pushed on you by the people in your life. you almost feel as though you aren't meant to have agency in your own future, because you are trying to do what you are "supposed" to do. your parents could have been a bit overbearing in trying to prepare you for the future. trusting yourself and forming your own ideas of success and fulfillment will lead to you experiencing much more opportunity within your career. you must overcome a fear of failure here. eleventh house - on a deep level, you feel completely alone in the world. you feel as though it is impossible for anyone to truly understand you, or that they would even want to try. you are a deeply lonely person at times. i could see this placement as indicating that you were a social outcast or somehow distanced from others in your youth, leading to you believing there is something fundamentally wrong with you that prevents you from forming meaningful relationships. you doubt yourself, thinking, am i boring? am i too plain? am i unlikeable? here, you must cast these thoughts away and put forth effort anyways. twelfth house - the biggest struggle with this is that you feel unable to let go of the past and to forgive yourself. the biggest obstacle here is yourself. you have these feelings like you have done too much bad, or something you have done in the past is irredeemable. you may find that, in times of particular stress, you have nightmares or trouble sleeping. the twelfth house challenges you to let go of all of these things, to forgive yourself. you have to look at your pain and grief and allow yourself to feel it, then to let it go. in some way, you have to completely allow yourself to dissolve. after you do these things, you will find that your life as a whole improves, and you can handle anything much better.

some notes as well:

the closer to conjunction the two are, the more intensely this is felt by the native

if they aspect the sun, moon, or angles, these lessons will come up in the individual's day-to-day life

if jupiter is closer to the beginning of the house, it can lessen the impact of saturn

[asktheheirofslytherin]

*long sigh*

Turns out my age is not the reason my parents won't allow me to go out or date. My older brothers, now 18, 19 and 20yo, have been going out since they were 13 at least. And I'm 16 now. They don't let me go out for almost anything.

Last year, my friends planned a get together at one of their places. Keep in mind my whole family have known these three people fir almost 10 years now. And they still didn't let me go.

I don't go out to atleast buy something. Either I have to buy it online or someone else would have to get it for me. I don't go out for anything except school.

So a chaperoned date wouldn't have worked out anyway.

And that boy. Ughhh. He's messing with my mind. He's clearly dating someone and still insists on flirting with me. So maybe he wasn't the best choice afterall.

– from the anon wit strict parents and boy problems

Well, it does sound like perhaps you dodged an unforgivable with that potential suitor. He does not seem emotionally mature enough for courtship.

As for your parents, it appears to me that they are imposing some restrictions on you based on your gender. Many pureblood parents still cling to the notion that their female children need to be sheltered and protected from the outside world. Compound this with certain other global cultural practices and traditions, as may or may not be your case, and I can only imagine how stifling it would feel.

It sounds as though you believe talking to your parents about these restrictions is off the table? When I say this, I truly do mean talking, here - you do not have the position or authority to make demands.

You know your parents best - but if you do feel comfortable speaking with them, know that any conversation of this sort would have to come from a level of respect, an acknowledgement that they feel obligated to do this for whatever reason, and an openness to accept whatever outcome. You are, unfortunately, the least dominant party in any negotiation. What you can bring to the table, however, is perhaps a track record of impeccable behavior, excellent grades, evidence they treated your brothers differently, and low expectations.

But before you even attempt to make a case for yourself, you should ask them their own reasoning and motivations for these rules. What they have to say may very well surprise you.

If a conversation is not able to occur, I can only hope you have a plan in place for when you come of age. I do not mean a plan for getting out of under their control - though that very well may need to be a part of it - but I mean a plan of how you will teach yourself tasks such as purchasing an item in a store. If you go off to post secondary schooling, you may very well feel overwhelmed by all of the things you are expected to do yourself, and I do not wish to see you caught off guard.

Best of Luck,

-Lord Voldemort

[talkwithmarcy]

Youtubers, step away from the underage fans!

Ok, before I start this post, I just wanna say first, in no way am I judging or telling someone how to make a living or their interest in what type of job their in. What I’m going to be critiquing in this post is a youtuber or an influencers’ way of INTERACTING with their fans.

Now this is suppose to be a simple concept, right? You either give them a picture, autograph, fulfill a commission, etc. However some people overstep that boundary, and it led them to utter shit. I’m talking about people who interacts sexually with their fans. And considering how big the internet is, some of these fans are underage, and interacting with them in such a way led to these influencers to be called a groomer or predator, whether they know a fan is underage or not.

This topic came around when I made a youtube video about a va (voice acting) youtuber, he was accused of doing some horrible stuff with his fans and friends, and one of them was manipulating and grooming underage girls. However, after doing an interview with this guy, me and my friend found some closure to some cases, open to new arguments for the unsolved ones and also find possibilities that some of the cases could be untrue. What I see as the main reason for the majority of the cases was because this youtuber was not very careful when it comes to interacting with his fans or providing fan-service.

This led to broken promises, mistreatment towards discord mods and closer friends, and then the grooming accusations. The youtuber admitted to being irresponsible and lazy when it comes to fulfilling tasks, and he admitted to being quite arrogant and boastful about being a huge youtuber.

But here I’m talking specifically about the grooming accusations. This is all because he was so full of himself of being a player and irresistible with his fans, he had no problem fooling around with them. His channel is composed of quite provocative content, and the audios are just straight up audio porn in his patreon. There’s no secret that some of the fans are heavily into that sort of stuff and they have no problem having a closer relationship with the youtuber if he initiates it. And because some fans are underage, I think the interactions can count as illegal.

All of this could’ve been avoided if he didn’t interact sexually on a personal level with his fans. I’m not gonna judge him for making provocative content because 1). he is an adult, he can make non-kid friendly content if he wants to, as long as it’s not hurting and disrespecting anyone, 2). if making these type of content is the more popular way for him to make a living in youtube, go ahead. The problem is that he brings this to a personal level with his fans, instead of keeping it on a business level. 

I understand if you want to make your fans happy, but there is a more responsible and appropriate way to interact with them. And if you say, “well, they are not happy with it, they like talking about no-nos and that kind of stuff, otherwise, they are not interested in me”, then tell them to screw off. Especially if they are underage and you are an adult, you should know better, and have some self-respect.

A good example of this is an incident of where I communicated with a youtuber named Aramin Audios. To bring you up to speed, there was another va youtuber, let’s call him Pink, who was accused of being a groomer to his girlfriend, but after researching a bit, me and my friends found that this is false and the people who accused him of so made the accusations out of anger and jumping to conclusions.

Now in response to this, Aramin wants to avoid this accusations to happen to him and he wants his community to be safer for his younger audience. That seems like a great thing to do, right? BUT, he thinks the best way to achieve that is to delete his discord server and build a new one, where it is reserved for patreons only, where he will discuss the nsfw content they want in their patreon requests. Me and my friend were confused by this because, in a way, it’s like a punishment for the underage fans for the youtubers’ irresponsible way of interacting with them. And the way he announced that he was gonna do this is as if he is putting the blame on Pink, this made us worried whether upset fans are gonna went after Pink or not after this.

However, we were more confused on his WAY of fixing this problem. I guess people will have a different opinion on this, but based on what Aramin wants and how he worded his request for his community, it seems like he was trying really hard to make it safe for the younger audience. So we asked him, if he was so worried about effecting kids with his provocative content, why not just age-restrict his videos? Of course, the answer is because he still wants to make a living and the content in his channel is still sfw, so it shouldn’t be age-restricted.

We also questioned on the new server he was planning to make because 1). from what I know, he is not that active in his old server anyways, so what’s the point? 2). from what he says, it will be no different, they will just discuss more r18 topics with his patrons and 3). this can be upsetting for fans who are JUST as loyal as the patreon fans. He explains that he thinks that it will be safer because minors lie in the internet, and it’s more secure when people make an account on patreon. True, maybe patreon is more strict but it is proven that people can still lie about their age in patreon. So me and my friend suggested to him, why not just age-restrict your videos or try to change your content a bit, because sfw that’s not automatically mean kid-friendly and from the way he was acting, this was his main worry.

The weird thing that happened was that my friend, let’s call her Lady, is a bit more closer to Aramin, because she was also a youtuber and he watches her stuff before. However, when Lady tried to explain how Aramin’s way of achieving all this didn’t make sense, the fans there agreed. But as soon as Aramin came, they did a complete 180. And of course, I’m not close with Aramin, right? there’s nothing wrong if he gets a bit defensive, but when me and Lady asked him the questions and give him suggestions for a better way to achieve he wants. He became demeaning to the point where he acts like he didn’t know who Lady is, and he treated her as if she is too young and too dumb to understand what he was saying. And they were roughly the same age.

Also, in that chat, some fans told me to scroll to reread what they were talking about, but the thing is I want to hear from Aramin’s word. However, after some exchange, it seems like Aramin doesn’t actually want his community to be minor-free, and he mostly blame that it’s the kids fault for lying about their age and parents are not monitoring they’re kids. So I asked him, “But you’re the one who wants to make your channel minor-free, this is based on what you want, so why won’t you yourself actually take the precautions?” and he responded with, “I’m not gonna entertain this, because you won’t scroll up, you obviously don’t care.” Good defense, Aramin.

So he may say he wants his community to be safer for minors, and he did this because of other youtubers who are exposed as groomers and predators, but he doesn’t actually practice what he preach. He just wants to be seen as taking action for the better.

But anyways, it seems like he didn’t wanna budge or give any good reason anytime soon, so me and Lady gave up. Lady told me after that conversation, he immediately deleted the server XD and the cherry on top is that he made a response to this in twitter and oh boy, there is so many things wrong with this tweet.

Where do I start with this?

First off, we’re talking about what he is doing with his server, so when he says he wants to protect minors from predators that could join his server, Aramin, that just brings the question, what kind of people you allow to reside in your server and how do you act with your fans? And it says a lot when you felt the NEED to make an r18 server with your fans.

Second, apparently Aramin was badly injured when I told him sfw does not mean kid-friendly. I wasn’t trying to make a ‘gotcha’ moment, Aramin, I was just stating something. But since you are so heavily affected by that, sorry I hurt your feelings I guess.

Third, I agree to scolding kids for lying about their age online and watching what they’re not suppose to watch. However, recommending that kids should just stay in Youtube Kids is just not right. Youtube Kids is specifically for kids who are at the age of 4-12, so a minor as young as 13-15 can watch your stuff. And it is also known that there’s still inappropriate content that is still posted in Youtube Kids, because they were fooled by the kid-friendly thumbnail and Youtube doesn’t actually check if the content is safe or not. And to just say, “well, they should just stay in Youtube Kids”, that’s an ignorant thing to say. Tell me guys, how young were you when you first watch or witness something that is not considered kid-friendly? Whether by accident or on purpose.

Fourth, what nice thing of him to say, “it is the parents’ fault for not monitoring what their children sees on the internet 24/7.” Yeah, it’s the parents fault, guys, it’s not like they have jobs or any house activities they have to do to take care of their kids. It’s their fault for not breathing down on their children’s neck every time they see a screen. And from him saying he doesn’t wanna stop his source of income because of the parents, Aramin, you’re basically saying, “I don’t support and I would never recommend minors watching my videos and I want my community to be safer for minors.....but I’ll still make money from minors watching my shit anyways, thank you very much.”

And finally, keep in mind, me and my friend did not bash nor insult Aramin while we were talking to him. We did not call him a predator, bad person, or whatever. But apparently something as simple as asking questions, even though you are confused for a good reason, counts as attacking or tearing someone down according to Aramin.

So yeah, overall, Aramin just comes off as a whiny brat, and this response just comes off as him going

“These people are confused, and they’re asking questions and giving me suggestions! It’s the worse thing ever, WHY CAN’T THEY SEE I’M A GOOD PERSON?”

Anyways, at the end of this post, I want to make this clear, whether your content is inappropriate or not, or your patreon is 18+ or not, I don’t care. The problem is if you actually interact with your fans in such a way. It’s asking for trouble and even if you don’t mean to interact with underage fans in such a way, it is still YOUR irresponsibility to act that way AT ALL with any age with your fans, who are also mostly complete strangers to you, especially when you are aware that minors might watch your stuff.

Just because you act in a certain way in your channel, does not mean you should act the same in person to your fans. We may saw Dakota Johnson’s boobs in Fifty Shades of Grey, but that wouldn’t mean it would be acceptable for her to flash her fans during a meet-and-greet.

Yes, it is the fault of the kids for lying about their age online or if they watch something they’re not suppose to, but in the end, YOU’RE the influencer. You are the one with the channel, you are the one who can fix what they watch or at the very least, make the situation a little more appropriate.

[crossdressingdeath]

WWX’s strict and JC’s strict are very different. JC’s strict is learned behaviour from YZY and comes from a place of control. Yes he does love JL but he thinks restricting JL and pointing out faults while giving him near impossible expectations is too much will improve JL. WWX’s strict comes from a place of having so much freedom it choked him in the end because no adult figure truly scolded and looked out for him in a way a parent would and 1/

And left a lot of WWX’s choices for himself to decide, which can do as much harm as restricting someone. WWX is strict but his expectations of juniors doesn’t go beyond their age or ability. WWX scolds but he explains why he’s scolding so juniors learn from it. JC’s strict but he restrains as much as he puts on expectations. He scolds but criticizes without explaining the why behind it and causes frustration for JL and himself 2/

People like to compare CQL JC saying he’ll still scold JL when he’s older with WWX’s burying LSZ as proof they have the same parenting style but they miss the clear differences. JC grabs JL while WWX lets LSZ keep a distance when chasing him around. JC is harsh and JL is uncomfortable while WWX turns it into teasing when he brings LWJ into the mix and LSZ starts laughing at how ridiculous and nostalgic the situation is until he himself initiates contact with WWX 3/

And hugs WWX’s leg and lets him pat him on the head. WWX and JC are strict but they take it to different degrees and we see how well everyone, even JL, responds to WWX’s version compared to JC’s because while WWX’s comes from a place of looking out for the kids and wanting them to mature while keeping them safe, JC’s is just repeating what YZY did without stopping to think he’s hindering JL more than letting him grow as a person 3/3

Yeah, people saying the scenes with JC saying he’ll always be able to scold JL and WWX saying he’ll always be able to bury Sizhui mean they parent the same way weirds me out because... it’s so obviously different? I’d say those scenes are... I guess foils, would be the word? Showing how different the two of them are, even when the words are fairly similar. With WWX, it feels sort of like your parent saying “You’ll always be my baby”, that sort of thing; a little embarrassing, maybe, but the assurance that they will always be there if you need them. And Sizhui clearly enjoys it, treats it like a game, plays along by grabbing WWX’s leg like he’s a little kid. With JC there’s more of a “You’ll never be able to get away from me” feel. You do not have the right to discipline your nephew for being disobedient when your nephew is in his thirties and a sect leader. JC is controlling, refusing to let go unless he’s the one who decides to let go; his “love” is a cage, and any attempt to escape that cage is a betrayal, even if it’s only the “escape” of a child wanting to live his own life. WWX’s love is more like a safety net. He will always be there if needed, but he also won’t force the people around him to “rely” on him... even though unlike with JC relying on WWX is generally a good call provided he doesn’t end up declared an enemy of the cultivation world due to other people getting pissy about him having friends. Anyway, the point is that WWX doesn’t try to smother people the way JC does; he doesn’t want them to feel forced to stay by him. JC, on the other hand, knows that he has nothing in his personality that might convince someone to choose to stay by his side, so he has to rely on force. Hence the implication that he’ll be punishing JL when he’s a grown man and a sect leader.

[arpitsrivstva]

A late night talk with my father

Tonight, as there is a construction work happening at my house, I got to have a chat with the person whom I dont really like much. It’s such a thing that when you have no choice but to pass the time together, you talk and then you feel good about each other. Well, maybe he felt good about me, coz I was not very much responsive. Though, as I do, I asked him questions and sparked him with a topic on which we could start a talk together. Coz, I know, if the person is elder to you, he would be having a lot of experience that will take years for you to build, so keep on understanding, observing and questioning. That’s why parents are parents, I mean, the ultimate guide of life. Mostly they guide us in the starting phase of our lives and then we think that we then know everything and could take our life further alone and chase our dreams or whatever (which only few people do). But the truth is the truth. You will always be behind them in life experience coz they have seen things more than you. I think there is no generation gap, there is always a conversation gap! I know I know I previously dissed about him in my previous blog but it was not like I hate him or something, I was telling ya the flaws of this old guy and why he can be a pain in the ass sometimes in my life, haha. We have had these types of conversations before, anyways, many a times, okay, at least a few times but, this one made me think about something which I wanted to blog about.

So we were talking about the construction, our neighbours, social stuff. But then we came onto a better and more thoughtful topic, seeing two to three electricity meters in every houses nearby as we were having a walk. We started talking about how nowadays every family was just splitting up, getting nuclear, including my family (It is a disaster). Personally, I love when I imagine being in a joint family but I can only imagine. What there’s not to imagine, is the hatred and jealousy and arguments which takes place often in my home - and again, I can’t do anything about it - messed up minds. The splitting and everything, in my concern and thoughts, causes the children to get very conserved and become introverts and lacking social skills. If you think about it deeply, as I did, I think you would agree with me, and maybe even you come up with more things related to this or the causes of it and the consequences as I am talking about. First of all, you think many times before talking to your own family members and if there’s a child - the biggest loss is of his. He is losing half or more of his family, for god’s sake. And all the fighting and arguments and all are ofcourse complementary. I read a thing, today itself, about why there are age restrictions to many things, it is, because a child’s mind is at developing phase till the age of around 20. And whatever he/she sees, experiences and observes and is taught, they absorb it real quick and apply in their life and become like that in the future, and all of these things take up a big part of his/her thoughts and affects the future life. For me, I see people getting weirder and weirder day by day, especially the younger ones(Or am I getting only those types of... It is a matter of concern then, dont laugh!). But I, as an optimist, think that we will improve, and like me, other people are also realizing things and will implement in their life in such a way that everything will get better and better. I have a big hope for the next and future generation youngsters. I think it will be great:)

I think if I talk about the causes of family splitting - I mean, ofcourse as we all know, splitting means splitting of the kids. The off-springs of the elderly (head of the family). And mostly, they are more than one. The general reason as we all know, is that they dont get to like each other as they grow up (conversation gap). But why? - The thing is, they dont have that mutual understanding nor they want to tolerate each other’s flaws, anymore. They just want no one to interfere and face no issues in the future and live with the ones whom they like. Well, everybody wants that. Some compromise and some don’t. Compromising is pretty rare though. So these things are what my father told me about what he saw in his life and the splitting. He ended up this convo with a question, saying - Why people want solitude over family! I said to myself - parents’ mistake? And I think yes, it is - bad parenting!. It is the duty of the particular parent who is of those children to grow them up in such a manner that they understand the value of UNITY and never lack RESPECT towards each other. They should take action from the first day of them arguing except debating on a particular subject when they are adults. Coz before that, they are just kids. But dont wait for the time to make them understand in such a way, that their age for making them explain something goes away with their attitude. Keepin’ them under control would be becoming strict, but the thing I think they should do is always being the only head of the house taking any decisions with the kids’ agreement too. They should make the children feeling involved TOGETHER in stuff they should be and trigger their thought process together making them realize in which particular field or area the other sibling is lacking or is compatible to be through. I hope I am making sense. They should keep an attitude towards their children and be in a way that they should feel the importance of a parent and why you are one! Arise true love between the children and make them understand to work together and make strong long lasting memories together. The only thing important I am emphasizing which lacks, is respect. The younger sibling never realizes what things the older one has done for them when they were kids (rude and ill-mannered) and on the other hand, the older one can’t find the reason why he/she should do anything for the younger one as he is never credited and respected (ego). And many other things. I am telling it my way whatever I think, but I am also just a 21 year old kid. Sometimes just an incident is enough to break everything apart. But everyone should have that courage and realization to say sorry for their mistake instead of feeling sorry or that big ego on their chest for the rest of their lives living alone. I will be a little biased for the elder siblings coz I am one of them and I think it’s always the younger ones who are the crooked ones. Not payed much attention, you know, because they are always young for our parents as compared to us.

Of all the things, I think even living under the same roof, we should everyone their own space and respect it. Just eating quietly together (without any fucking TV) can make everything enjoyable and let forget the illness of a relationship. Living together has more benefits obviously. And anyway, the kids will have a way better childhood with more people to love them plus the many company he will have which will keep him busy. All my life, until now, I have seen just happiness and joy with a lot of fun when I see the families in which all of them adjust and live together and celebrate everything conjunctively, with fighting every coming problems and situations in their lives among themselves. After all, life is short and there are not many good people we meet outside who will know about us as good as our family members in our entire life. And money and anything, can’t give us that feeling and that pure careless and childish joy which a single family member can, because our past is connected with each other and there are not many things to hide and be ashamed of, coz its our family - they have to be with us anyways, accepting us forever, with our mistakes, coz its our family, and they have no choice:)

It could be so much fun!

And ya there’s one more thing I would like to say - every member is mostly different from other in a family and that uniqueness makes it better. We might not understand the value of family in the present, but there would be a day in our life, later, when we will, but then it might be too late (like we say about the importance of education and studying). So, keep a little patience and chill. The ones who have matured enough to understand life in the prime time, always have a benefit but ones who are not, will always lack something and so, they should always look out and reach out!

[dismas-dumbass]

Mom says that a house is like a body. And every house has eyes and bones and skin. A face. This room is like the heart of the house. No, not a heart, a stomach.

-The Haunting of Hill House

Hackett Siblings wanted for some absolutely chaotic drama!

CW: suicide, ptsd, mental trauma, death, substance abuse

henlo, welcome to the ad where i lose my shit cause i’ve lost control of my life. anyway! i have the idea for a rather messed up group of siblings slightly based off the Haunting of Hill House show. The basics are that there’s a large house, there’s a large family, something reaaaallyy rreeaally bad happens to the family when the kids are young that have fucked them up for the rest of their lives, fun stuff like that! obviously the situation is more subtle/personal rather than what goes on in the show [i’ll try to be vague due to spoilers] but i think it’s still something that can be rather creepy~ pretty much 95% of the info presented in this version of the ad is rather flexible and flimsy and i definitely don’t mind working with y’all to make it something amazing!! also, no knowledge of the show is needed whatsoever but just be a tiny bit careful if you do wanna see it/don’t like being spoiled mostly just due to the fact that with the themes that will be in the ad the show will probably be discussed as well!

a loooootttt of the details aren’t set in stone btw! i’m pretty much outlining my thoughts and the general concept but things may/will change and things will be added/subtracted as more people contribute to the idea!

if you have any questions or even if this strikes your fancy you can contact me on discord [mine’s dismas#9766]! if there’s more than one of ya then we can get a group chat going so that way we can see what ideas we all have for this! i can’t wait to write with y’all! <3

Backstory

alright, so the gist is that the Hackett family used to live in a rather big and fancy house. why they were there is up in the air so here’s a few suggestions: A. like the show, their parents were fixing it up. now, whether that means they’re going to sell it right after or live in it is open since both angles are rather interesting! B. they inherited it. from who? who knows! could be a relative that one of the parents knew, could have been random. it’s just a harmless house right? it might be good for the family! C. they just moved there. weird house for a good price? why not! it might be fun! 

whatever the reason, the siblings were in the house for some time. whether they’re natives to Dyrne or outsiders is open since all of the concepts can cover those possibilities easily! there’s no strict timeline yet as to how old they were when they were in that house but more than likely the youngest [twin] siblings were no younger than 6 so make of that what you will with the age ranges~ i would say that they were in that house for about a year or so? technically not too long in their lives but enough to cause lifelong damage?

their parents were good people. they had their flaws obviously and raising literally seven kids was an undertaking but they managed fine enough. mostly through the power of having the older siblings taking care of the younger. but even then they were loving parents. their father was a bit of a mess but well-meaning [think: one of the little siblings learned a swear word from an older one and their father tries to track them down, shouting throughout the house ‘get your ass in here now or else you’re grounded!’] and their mother was more organized yet didn’t hesitate to create a tiny bit of harmless chaos every once in a while. they loved each other, they loved their kids.

now, obviously, there’s the subject of the house itself. what’s the history behind it? that’s definitely left open due to the very reason why they’re there. but there’s probably something wrong with the house. physically? spiritually? mentally? whoever walks those halls won’t exactly be coming back out the same, that’s for sure. And that’s sort of what happened. the official story was that the Hackett family lived in the house for year, doing whatever, and then a fire broke out which caused the death of their mother. the rest of the family was able to escape and the father gave the testimony that it was an electrical fire -when investigated, he was proven innocent of any wrongdoing.

so what’s the actual story? It’s a bit of a mish mash of weird memories, mostly. it’s not really known whether the house is actually alive alive or if its history is just a horrible set of coincidences of bad stuff happening to people. the actual night was a blur to the siblings, all of them being ushered out of the house by their frantic father and herded into the car. when they asked where their mother was their father didn’t answer so they were just left crying after their missing mother. they didn’t even know that there was a fire even though maybe one of them said that they smelled smoke. they didn’t find out until one of the officers at the scene talked about it. for whatever reason, each and every one of them were silent on why they were brought out of the house by their father.

it’s still something they don’t know about.

to be fair, it was almost a partial relief to be out of the house. as i mentioned with the family they were held together well enough and were loving but things started to change when they moved to that house. slowly, surely, they started to encounter strange happenings, feel strange things, and started to view each other differently. what exactly happened to each family member is left open since they mostly don’t speak of their experiences except for the youngest. even their father, who may have experienced quite a lot, was tight-lipped about what happened to him, especially on the night of the fire. the experiences changed them, messed with them, and caused them to splinter and falter and break. after the death of their mother there was obviously quite a few years before everyone split up but they eventually did, going off to do their own things with their own scars hidden beneath their lies. some moved away, some stayed, but they still stayed in touch in some fashion. just not enough to be considered personal anymore.

what brought them all back together was the death of their father not too long ago. The poor man must have been consumed by guilt of some sort and took his own life, leaving his children behind to deal with the aftermath. they still never got any secrets from him nor any answers so all that’s there are feelings of confusion and loss. where the story begins is the revealed news that all the siblings are going to be living under one roof -in that house. the youngest daughter, for whatever reason, decided to purchase their childhood home back and has been in the process of restoring it. the reason why each sibling decides to go along with this is up in the air but the end result is the same: all seven siblings, plus any other family they may have, are now living in that house again.

Siblings

all the siblings except the one i’ll be playing are not set in stone! i’m going for a redheaded family sort of feel so the face claims i’ve put for each of them are something that i prefer but! tbh i’m super flexible and and at the end of the day it’s not a dealbreaker to choose someone else~ since i don’t wanna restrict folk’s fun over a fc choice! overall the sibling's interactions between each other are not that amicable -some may try to cooperate but old wounds come up and oftentimes a fight arises. they still have their weird traditions such as drawing straws if they need to do something and nobody wants to or they all fall silent at the same time [not often, obv., since they're mostly shouting over each other] that cause people on the outside to look at them strangely. at the end of the day, they can't escape the fact that they are siblings and are from the same disturbed family.

beliefs as well are varied and open! none say that they believe their youngest brother whenever he tries to convince them of what happened at the house though whether or not they believe that inside their heads is another matter entirely~

also! don’t feel as though you have to base your characters off any from the show! it’s just a nice start-off point and if you’re inspired but it’s definitely not a requirement whatsoever!

tbh a lot of the siblings aren’t fleshed out a lot & what happened to them in the house is also open so feel free to go wild!! i mean it; you can add as much as you want so that you can create a character that you’ll love to write for!

Eldest Son- 51. Toby Stephens.

being the eldest, he was the one to usually look after the younger children if their parents needed to do something. he built up a sort of protector complex where he has to make sure that he knows where all the other siblings are at all times. he fails constantly, of course, since he can’t even manage to have one of them listen to him. still, he feels responsible for all of his other siblings and takes it personally when he can’t get something done for them. he has his flaws, obviously, in that he tries to say that his way is the right way and can be as stubborn as an ox so despite his best intentions he clashes with some of the other siblings. this may be why none of them tend to listen to him.

Second Son- 50. Tony Curran.

He is one of the quieter siblings, preferring to be by himself when not needed. It isn’t that he dislikes his siblings; he just likes to be alone rather than among them. he’s kind and thoughtful so whenever one of the others needs help he’ll try to be there but besides that don’t count on him being somewhere on his own. Actually, it may be difficult to count on him in general because he loses track of time often and before he knows it he’s two hours late to moving some furniture for someone. this is probably the reason why he tends to be by himself -he doesn’t seem to grasp the passage of time as others have.

Eldest Daughter- 47. Sarah Rafferty.

she’s cruel. not absolutely cruel but cruel enough. she likes to poke and prod her siblings and see what sets them off. she thinks it’s funny and likes to observe the aftermath of her machinations. she likes to claim that she’s just bored but in reality she’s absolutely insecure herself and wants to bring others down to feel better about herself. don’t tell this to her face because she will absolutely try to turn it back on you and make you out to be the bad guy while she is the victim. also, don’t try to get revenge -she’ll just be more inclined to do something worse to you.

Second Daughter- 46. Amy Adams.

she’s neutral towards, well, everything. she kind of just exists and she doesn’t like that. not a lot of passion, not a lot of purpose. maybe she tries something daring once in a while to feel something but comes up short. it’s difficult for her to emotionally connect with others in a deep way and oftentimes she finds herself alone. she doesn’t like being alone, though, since being alone means she’ll be alone with her thoughts and she hates that. If she can even feel that properly, anyway. she’s not emotionless in the sense that she is sociopathic but her difficulty feeling things has caused her to have a sarcastic and thorny exterior towards anyone she meets, fueling her involuntary self-isolation.

Third Daughter- 43. Jessica Chastain. Reserved for spooky spice

she's the face of the family. the most energetic. the most chaotic. the one to threaten to break someone's kneecaps if they dare harm her siblings. she'll give a show-stopping smile and then tell you to eat shit afterwards. due to the minimal age difference she always had to watch the twins and therefore she is close to them, especially Thomas. some joke that she's actually Thomas' twin -she can sort of just sense whenever the youngest Hackett is in trouble. she's not happy about anything seeming messy, of course, so she spares no second to chastise anyone [including Thomas] about what they have done wrong. her status among stardom cannot afford any blemishes so catch her changing the subject whenever an interviewer brings up the fact that her younger brother is a drug addict. trust her, she knows. she knows all too well. and maybe her motivation for buying up the Hackett siblings' childhood house was to try to get Thomas some actual help after he failed out of rehab for the umpteenth time. their father's suicide may have just reinforced her decision to go forward with this.

Twin One- 42. Michael Fassbender.

maybe he’s one of the most normal. maybe’s he’s the most normal. maybe he has to be -his twin is an absolute trainwreck of a human being and his family is an equal amount of mess. maybe he’s just good at saving face and hiding the damage caused by the house [and maybe by his siblings]. some days, he sort of forgets that he’s a twin and that said twin is a drug addict. when they were young they were close though he would often play kind of cruel tricks on his younger twin such as locking the door to the basement after daring Thomas to go down the stairs, leaving him in a room alone with the lights off, and things like that. he grew out of it, matured, and tries to ignore the fact that he may or may not have been part of the reason why Thomas is the way he is now. he's too focused on being a professor at the college to fully see the cries of help his younger twin is showing.

Twin Two Thomas Hackett- 42. Michael Fassbender. Taken by Dismas.

so you’re asking me if i have a problem. i probably do. the youngest of the Hackett family; he’s probably one of the most heavily affected by the events at the house. for those familiar with the show think a combination of inspiration between Luke and Eleanor Crain, but also with even more issues maybe as well as none of the siblings being on his side whatsoever on anything. he had quite a few strange encounters ranging anywhere from encountering something in the basement when he was locked in one time by his twin to being trapped in a room with so much noise that he passed out for hours. now, figure, he’s a young kid when all of this happened [probably around 6 or so, could be a tiny bit older] so he doesn’t know how to deal with any of this. this really fucks him up. on top of that, whenever he told his family, none of them ever believed, further fueling the feeling of being unwanted. he was probably the closest one to their mother, being the youngest and the most vulnerable of the children, so he was absolutely devastated when she perished in the fire that fateful night. he blamed his father, thinking that he did something to her and tried to hide it with said fire. he never stopped believing in that, nor in the experiences he had in the house, and it pretty much ate at his soul. not only that but nobody still believed him so he always felt useless. he developed a bitter and angry attitude to try to hide this but the wounds were never able to be covered for long and so he eventually turned to drugs to soothe his pain. obviously, it never fully did so he just fell deeper into the rabbit hole. he dropped out of high school and started to do all sorts of jobs and favors in order to get his next fix, oftentimes winding up being arrested for petty crimes. he earned a bad reputation around town and the only reason why he didn’t face too much jail time is due to one of his siblings always bailing him out. wash, rinse, and repeat.

nowadays he goes between being sort of okay and having his own place to being absolutely drugged out of his mind and having to crash at a sibling’s place if they’re local -mostly his twin or the youngest daughter of the family. he’s failed out of rehab recently which may have been one of the reasons why the youngest daughter decided to purchase and fix up their childhood home; so that he can have a stable over his head for once and maybe recover from his habits. little does she know, or maybe care, that the house was the reason for his down spiral in the first place so he is not thrilled whatsoever to be stuck in the same building with all the same people who did not believe him. he hates it here.

Other Ideas

this is pretty much going to be only the possible family of the siblings woops but with the house being rather large there’s a ton of room for more than just the siblings themselves and more than likely some of the other siblings are going to be in some sort of relationship unlike Thomas. now, of course, maybe not all of the spouses/partners/children live in the house after all but then again they might! i have a few small ideas:

the loyal partner- this partner is loyal to the sibling they’re married to/with, always making sure they’re alright and making sure the sibling is well taken care of. maybe even spoil/indulge a little too much the whims of the sibling. they may seem a little more oblivious to the chaotic dynamics of the siblings and the strangeness of the house. they just think that everyone needs to get along and everything will be okay! except it’s never that easy and they probably just look foolish for suggesting that.

the angry partner- they hate it in the house. all the fighting and the tension and the drama; they think it’s a bunch of bullshit. they especially think all the spooky~ stuff that apparently happened in the house is all bullshit too and won’t hesitate to call anyone out if the supernatural is even entertained. they just want to live their life in relative peace with the sibling they’re with 

the mediator partner- they may not necessarily believe in the unbelievable -in fact, their career hinges on finding out why people process stuff the way they do [ex. a therapist or psychologist]- but they still try to see all angles. they’re typically the one trying to quell the arguments between siblings and trying to see why the siblings feel the way they do about things (and about each other). they’re curious, however, about the house itself and may start poking around in the wrong places to try to discover the truth.

[one tiny suggestion! perhaps the mediator partner is married to Thomas’ twin brother and they have a kid with the face claim of Reece King? ;^; he has slightly similar facial features to Michael Fassbender + i think it’d be sweet if the partner tries to see why Thomas is fucked up the way he is and maybe even begins to sympathize/believe him after they start to figure stuff out?]

Plots

alright! so the obvious plots are going to be the interactions between siblings~ their personalities may give a hint to who they do or don’t get along with but in all honesty they all have bad enough blood with each other to have issues one way or another. so! drama! one of those ‘if you leave them in a room for long enough they’ll find something to fight about’ type of things! they do love each other -really, they do- but their experiences in the house changed them forever and there’s no gaining that back. they can only move forward.

they’re already living in the house for a short period of time [maaaybbe a month? a few weeks?] so they’re all settled in and dealing with the presence of each other and it’s not going exactly swimmingly for obvious reasons. maybe some try to cooperate with each other? others not so much. there’s plenty of fighting and slamming doors and shouting and leaving the area/the house to cool off. on more than one occasion Thomas has already stated that he’s leaving for good and going out on his own. he never follows through with the threat -he can’t. he’s as tied to the house as everyone else is and now he can’t escape. but you get the gist. it’s going to take a while for them to see eye to eye with each other. if they ever do, anyway.

future plots to explore are, of course, up in the air but they can deal with the siblings learning more about each other, learning more about their parents, and learning more about the house. and, of course, learning more about their town as well! Whether things start to get better or if they down spiral even further is going to be rather interesting to see~

for initial threads it could be fun [in a morbid sense] to do a past one where they’re attending their father’s funeral since that was kind of actually a shitshow. imagine all the siblings, with their awful traits, having to deal with the death of their parent and just in terrible pain. so, what else to do than to cause issues with each other and create quite a few commotions? obv. when the sibling’s personalities are solidified we can discuss this further! overall the first types of posts will be their interactions with the site plots, the town itself, and between them when they’re at the house so there’s plenty of room for drama!

[stephinsshortstories]

Story 2.1: Student Lounge Smoothies

(Part 1, I hope?) A confession from one athlete to another, and all the anxiety that comes with it. Sometimes you just gotta swallow that lump in your throat and shoot your shot!

Like 1.1, this story is one of my most “realistic” premises. That means a believable setup, and no magic or plot tomfoolery! Themes include wlw crushes, the dynamics of asking someone out, and other beautifully human experiences.

This is another fairly early work of mine, and it’s written from a perspective I have only partially experienced myself, so it’s a bit of an experiment! Please share constructive critique if you’ve got it.

While the following story doesn’t contain overtly sexual content, I still ask those under the age of 18 to pass on it. Also, be warned, it can take up a lot of space on your dash!

The locker room flooded with bodies quickly. It was Friday, everyone was desperate to get changed and get out, and Coach Theresa always made Friday workouts the worst. ���To make sure nobody gets lazy,” she’d say. The atmosphere hung heavy with sweat and a generally ubiquitous urge to not be there longer than necessary.

         Like most of the university lacrosse team, Kate was in a hurry to split.

         “Dammit…” she whispered to herself, seeing the line forming for the showers. She hadn’t muscled her way in enough in the initial rush; most of the team beat her to the stalls. Still, she decided with a groan, they were faster than going back to her dorm.

         Not being able to do much before a proper shower, Kate waffled for time. She hang restlessly at her locker, watching small pockets of conversation ripple through her teammates. A couple of her friends passed her on the way out, and she resolved with them to hang out in the student union tomorrow night, and threw in a few jovial complaints about their Molecular Bio lab project. Kate watched a majority of the girls trickle out over ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and silently castigated herself for not pushing more every time someone left. How very freshman of her.

         Nineteen, and still can’t grow a goddam spine, she thought.

         By the time Kate finally got in and out of a shower, only a few of her teammates remained. Trish, Gina, and Dana were discussing something by their lockers, Yasmin was tying her shoes to leave, and someone whose name she tentatively thought was… Verdana? Verona? Whoever. She was stuffing dirty clothes into a drawstring bag.

         Nobody’s really focused on me… I think I’m okay to get changed, Kate reported to herself. Equal parts social anxiety, shyness over changing publicly, and shyness over her outfit made her tense and hyper-vigilant. Today even more than usual. When she’d first arrived on campus in the fall, some new friends had quietly and coyly recommended her a certain club downtown. Now was finally the Friday night Kate had mustered the courage to go out, and really experience nightlife… her parents had been pretty strict, and while she’d had her fair share of boyfriends (and a few very secret stints with some girls, as experiments), the hot, neon, underground appeal of a real nightclub represented a whole new level of tantalizing freedom. Dances, drinks, the like…

         Kate shook herself from the daydream and began to quickly put herself together. Along with clothes and shower gear, she had a makeup kit and a brush with her - she planned on meeting her friends downtown right after practice. However, after just a few minutes, less than half dressed…

         “Hey. Katelyn, right?” a voice over her shoulder asked. Kate jumped. Wheeling around quickly, she was met face-to-face by the toned, imposing figure of Quinn Baker, the team captain, standing over her. She seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

         “Yeah! Uh - yeah. Kate. What’s up?” Kate stammered, finally regaining composure halfway through.

         “Quinn. Captain Quinn. Yeah, yeah, good to meet ya - can we talk for a minute?” Quinn was still wet, and was wearing a t-shirt and a towel on her waist - she must’ve been in the shower when Kate had scanned the room.

         “Yeah, uh - sure, what do you need?” Kate was startled sick, which turned to heavy nervousness; the only reason she could think of for a captain to be pulling aside a random freshman on a team dozens strong would be for a chew-out. Kate’s mind was racing, but she was utterly sure that that would be the last thing she could handle right now.

         “I just wanted to ask you a few things,” Quinn, noticing Kate sweating bullets, tried to ease back. “Nobody’s in trouble… but for starters, thanks for picking lax, always good to see new recruits and all.”

         “Uh, yeah, I played it through high school, wanted to stick with it here. Nice to meet you… what did you need to ask me?”

         “Well, kinda a lie, I more want to talk to you than ask you stuff. First of all, I take it you have plans tonight? You seemed to be getting dressed up in a hurry. Most people don’t wait long for shower here.”

         “Yeah, meeting some friends at a restaurant downtown. The walk back to the dorm would’ve taken longer…”

         “Fair enough. But Kate, you don’t need to bullshit me. It’s not a restaurant, is it?

         Kate began to sweat again. She didn’t mean to lie, but saying she was going clubbing to the team captain wasn’t a good plan. Quinn continued, as if reading her mind,

         “Probably clubbing or something, right? That seems a bit better fitting for a sleeved tube top and jeans. Don’t worry. Everybody’s played the fake-ID game at some point. I’m not gonna cut you from the team or anything for it. But I also take it from how buggy you are right now (and the outfit) that this is gonna be your first time. Nervous and shit, right?”

         “Right. Going to a place a few friends whispered to me about,” Kate blushed. Quinn seemed cool, anyway… she was standing really close.

         “Yeah,” Quinn leaned against the bank of lockers and folded her arms. “And I also figure you’re interested in more than drinks… you may want to stuff those in a zip pocket.”

         Kate blushed much harder, pushing the two condom packets deeper into the coin pocket on her jeans and averting her gaze. Arms folded under the chest, she couldn’t help but think, was a good look for Quinn…

         “And-“ Quinn lowered her voice, speaking subtly- “you didn’t zip your bag all the way. Those pins on the jacket in there… you’re interested in an overnight, not necessarily with a guy… aren’t you?”

         “Uh! I dunno-! I-“ Kate’s face flared red and she began to panic, eyes darting around. She clenched her bag to her chest nervously. She wasn’t comfortable pinning down a sexual preference yet, and had hoped the club excursions would help her find out. The pins on her jacket were a plan to attract anyone she could - now, mortifyingly, she was found out. By the captain of her lacrosse team, no less.

         “Listen. Calm down, or you’ll out yourself before anyone else. Don’t freak out, I’ve been there too. Most people have. I’m not gonna repeat it. But I am gonna tell you this - the age restrictions on clubs are there for a reason, and it isn’t just the booze. As a senior, let me tell you to steer clear of those joints until you’re more acclimated to the area… and maybe have a bit more confidence, with friends you’ve known longer, too. Most people there are normal, but there are creeps, and they can smell green from across the floor. Don’t worry. There are other ways to find a good time.” Quinn patted Kate on the shoulder, and left for her locker.

         Kate was numb. She was still terrified, a bit traumatized by suddenly meeting an upperclassman like that, but also… relieved. For every bit of curiosity and desire for freedom in her head, there had been three huge chunks of nervousness. Subconsciously, she’d already known what Quinn said, but it was nice to hear it from someone else. It gave Kate a justification to herself to cancel, and breathe a sigh of relief. Other ways to find a good time, Quinn repeated in her mind.

         She called her friends, getting out with the excuse that Coach had held the team after practice for a meeting, and resumed getting dressed. Torn jeans, sleeved tube top… yeah, kind of clueless attire for clubbing, she supposed. Then, the jacket… Kate pulled it out of her bag and looked at it for a moment. Leather the color of dark chocolate, cut to the rib line, the right lapel sporting a handful of pins including the pansexual pride flag. She did honestly consider herself pansexual… but she did still need to experiment, too. Kate stared at the pins. She gulped down a bold idea, steeling herself. On the bright side, at least Quinn had already broken the ice…

         Most of the girls had left the locker room by this point. Quinn herself had her bag slung over her shoulder and was headed out.

         “See ya around,” she waved as she passed Kate.

         Gulping, slinging the jacket on, and grabbing her bag, Kate started after Quinn. Her nerves were freezing over, but once she was in motion she couldn’t stop. She grabbed Quinn’s shoulder just as she exited out into the main athletics hallway.

         “Hey, um…”

         “Yeah? What’s up?” Quinn responded brightly, amazing Kate with her relaxedness.

         “Well, I really appreciate what you said. I… I needed to hear it. And you’re really cool, keeping things low-key.”

         “Yeah, uh, no problem, I mean-“

         “Do you want to get a drink with me?” Kate’s impulses pulled the trigger, for better or worse, before her anxiety could get in the way. Her heart stopped.

         “Weh- uh, uh… y-yeah. I guess so,” Quinn stammered, dumbstruck. Kate barely noticed her own amusement at the towering senior’s break in compsure, given the crushing tightness in her chest. Her heart began to pound - Quinn had actually said yes! She honestly hadn’t thought this far ahead.

         “We - uh, we could get smoothies or something from the student lounge… guess I technically shouldn’t get actual drinks with my captain right now,”

         Quinn giggled a bit. “Yeah, totally. It’s… uh…” she paused.

         Kate’s chest could barely expand for her to breathe.

         “…It’s on the way to my apartment.”

[thedisturbeddad]

The Tooth Fairy Got Coronavirus

I just wanted to share something that I think a lot of people are taking for granted. And that’s how to use the Pandemic to your advantage. I recently messed up big time in my job as dad, but I realized that I could blame my mistake (or the mistake of the Tooth Fairy) on covid. I gotta tell you: this is some untapped potential here for parents. This could solve a lot of problems, but I think it works best in the case of mythical creatures. In reality, it’s my fuck ups. So I’d do anything to shuck the blame. You understand. But this is really a great hack!

I really should just admit that I’m a bad dad though. I can’t believe that after years of flawless execution, I screwed up on something so simple. In my defense, my son has been losing a lot of baby teeth lately. Okay, it’s only been two teeth in the last month, but I forgot to put money under his pillow last night. Woops! No problem though. I told him the Tooth Fairy must have gotten coronavirus. Shit like this happens now. You know?

And this isn’t the first time the pandemic has fucked up holidays around my house either. With social distancing and my recent unemployment, I had to take my kids shopping with me for the things that the Easter Bunny usually provided them in secret. But times are tough in the pandemic. When Easter approached recently, I had to let my sons in on a little secret. No. It wasn’t that the Easter Bunny wasn’t real. It was that the pandemic had fucked shit up, and the Easter Bunny had sent me a message saying he needed help this year.

You should know that Easter egg hunts are pretty insane at my house too. I go mega-hunt mode! There’s not just eggs, there’s toys and little cans of soda. Plastic eggs full of money and balloons filled with chocolates. Just to name a few. Up till now, the boys had only painted boiled eggs to then leave out for the Easter Bunny the night before. The Easter Bunny would come and add more prizes and candy to the mix! I never took any credit too. It’s all from some mythical creature. Some kind of legend. I try to preserve my kids’ belief in magic. Not ruin it.

This year, I explained to my young sons that the Easter Bunny had asked me to go shopping for all the things he usually brought. He could send me messages. To my boys it made sense. For me, I just didn’t have anyone to help babysit, and I didn’t feel like paying current rates for child care, just to keep the whole make-believe world going for my kids. Besides, kids are quite good at adapting. I’ve seen that with covid and all the restrictions that came with it. Our kids are better at accepting the changes than adults. It’s pretty cool.

Now, if you are going to try this out you’ll want to ask yourself: Have I even thought about all the things my kids might ask? Kids are pretty observant and adept at pointing out the flaws in our clever stories about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. In case one of my rugrats decided to wake up early Sunday morning, I decided to tell them the Easter Bunny had asked me to hide everything too! He needed to quarantine. My oldest son is too smart for my story to not be consistent.

And before we go any further, just know that I’m not going to discuss the validity of lying to my kids about Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. My mom told me at a very young age that it was all a hoax! She was a New Age Boomer, and had decided to go with an honest approach to parenting. In contrast, I like to go full tilt into the illusion. I mean, why not? You only have kids once. They only have childhoods once. And what’s the harm in a little mythology? Some superstition? It only enhances a sense of wonder and magic in kids’ lives. Is that so wrong?

I don’t care what people think in general, but I especially don’t look for approval from outside sources when raising my kids. If you’re a parent, and you haven’t figured out that all kids are different, and that you can’t treat them all the same way, then there’s nothing I can say that will change your mind. Being a parent is one of those things that everyone tries to do the same but never realizes that it’s one of their greatest chances to be truly unique. To strike off from the herd. So to speak. Getting and giving tips to other parents is all well and good, but sometimes you’ve just got to come up with something new. Right there on the spot.

That’s why, when we were going to bed tonight, I decided to give the Tooth Fairy an infectious disease. You see. Last night, my son had put a tooth under his pillow. He’d forgotten about it after that. Me too. When I tucked him into bed tonight, his hand snaked underneath his pillow and a look of puzzlement struck his face. He pulled out his tooth. No money!

“The Tooth Fairy forgot my tooth!” he yelled in startlement. I was slowly realizing that I’m starting to slip in my old age. I had to think fast, but luckily I’d already started a precedent back in April. Bunnies could pass covid to fairies. Right?

“Tooth Fairy must have gotten coronavirus.” I was amazed how easily I said it. With such a straight face!

“Yeah.” Both my kids agreed. It wasn’t just the Easter Bunny. They’ve had tons of things change in this pandemic.

“I’m sorry buddy.” I apologized for the Tooth Fairy. “She’ll probably come get it tonight. Coronavirus has messed everything up.”

“I hate the coronavirus!” My son exclaimed.

“Me too.” I agreed. Hoping he’d still believe in magic. Even though magic can apparently get the flu now. And yeah. I know it’s not like the flu. I just thought it was a cute turn of phrase. Anyway.

It worked. For now. Only trick is I got to make sure to remember to put the money under his pillow after I post this. If he wakes up and catches me, I have plenty of covid credibility to fake him out. I can spin the legends that I grew up with together with the strict policies of today. Even Santa has to get the vaccine. Right? Or else he can’t show up for Christmas this year. Too many houses he’d show up to and cause a surge in cases. Wouldn’t want him spreading anything else besides the Christmas Spirit. That’d be gross.

Maybe it’s time to end the game. Be honest with my kids about the myths I’ve been passing on. Get rid of the lies that had been handed down to me: but I like the game. I like the initiations that keep getting handed down, from one generation to the next. Our own legends. It’s one way that kids today can connect with the way children felt a hundred years ago. Or maybe more. It’s a continuation of culture and identity. But it’s all also new, now. Because of covid. You never knew it before the pandemic, but even fairies can get sick. Don’t worry though. Dads can clean it up. Just got to be full of shit. Like a lot of it.

[rosaline-kei]

Under My Wing - Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Boruto/Naruto nor the characters.

Fandom: Boruto: Naruto Next Generation.

Parts:  「1」 ,「2」 ,「 3 」

Chapter 1′s Title: Out of Retirement

Synopsis: After her father had taken up Boruto as his student, Sarada began to feel a little... at a loss. Sure, Sasuke still teaches her some things, like how he taught her that Fireball Jutsu. But unlike to Boruto, he isn't her fulltime mentor. And now, she doesn't know who to turn for guidance in mastering her Sharingan. That is, until the Sixth Hokage came along. (Might contain Manga Spoilers)

Rated: T

Pairings (To note: Romance isn’t the main focus, though. But there will be pairing moments, just not a huge lot): Boruto Uzumaki/Sarada Uchiha , Sakura Haruno/Sasuke Uchiha , Naruto Uzumaki/Hinata Hyuga

Read it also on / Leave a Review at:

Ao3 or FF net

Author’s Note (READ AFTER READING CHAPTER): Okay so, this is my first time writing a Boruto fanfiction. I really love Sarada as a character, and I like the idea where Kakashi trains Sarada. Thus, I wrote this haha. However, the thing is I watched Boruto before actually watching Naruto (I mean, aside from the few episodes I watched on Tv when I was a kid, but I didn't really watch it chronologically lol). For a long time, I did want to watch Naruto, but never got around to it because of the many, many episodes. But I did so woohoo.

So, I just want to say my Naruto knowledge about its lore and world-building may be weak. Thus, if I make any mistakes writing about the Jutsus or even personalities about the characters, please tell me! To be honest, I've been afraid of actually writing anything Boruto or Naruto related because I'm pretty much scared for getting bashed by people if I get anything mistakenly wrong. So, haha GG to me.

Please leave a review (here or on websites linked above^^) ! I'd love to hear your thoughts and constructive criticism too!

-

It had almost been two years since Boruto Uzumaki started his training with Sasuke Uchiha.

In that time, it was irrefutable to say that the young Uzumaki had improved his abilities to a far extent, more than what most people would expect. Even Mitsuki, who would visit his parent’s hideout every now and then for a ‘simple’ round of training, had been improving, his Senjutsu, especially.

As for Sarada Uchiha, she had been making progress too. Except, she didn’t think she was making enough progress to be on par with Boruto and Mitsuki. Though, she’d never admit that much to them. She would prefer to keep these sort of thoughts and insecurities to herself as of now.

After these two years, Sarada who was now at the age of thirteen, was dissatisfied with her current ability level. Because even after the two years of missions and strenuous trainings she had with Konohamaru and the rest of Team 7, and even with her father sometimes, she still had one tomoe in both of her Sharingan eyes. She was dissatisfied with herself.

Sarada found herself walking around the training grounds, wanting to find a vacant spot to do some shuriken-related training. Supposedly, Konohamaru had been tasked to take her and her teammates off to another assigned mission today. However, he had unfortunately caught a bad case of flu. And the Seventh Hokage, being the kind man he is, gave him a break and reassigned the mission to another team.

Maybe I should go visit him later, with Boruto and Mitsuki. Sarada thought.

Just then, she heard a familiar loud idiot-like yelp erupt. Finding herself growing worried bit by bit, she rushed towards the direction where that noise echoes, to only see that that idiot was just training with her father.

Hiding behind a bush that was quite a distance away, she disguised her presence as much as she could as she decided to stay and watch a little. She wondered if her father had noticed her presence, considering he had eyes that were much sharper than hers. And most of all, he had all three tomoes in his eyes. As for Boruto, she wasn’t that concerned about him discovering her presence.

“Gahhhh! This is so hard!” He complained, sounding quite exhausted. From afar, it looked like they were practicing Shuriken-Jutsu. And it seemed like Boruto was having a hard time with his aim.

“You were able to properly aim all six shurikens at all six targets. No difference with eight of them. Weren’t you able to do all eight accurately last time anyway? This isn’t anything new.” Sasuke replied, with a stoic tone that Sarada was anything but unfamiliar with it.

“Yeah, but we did do an extremely intense Ninjutsu training earlier! And I am feeling a little tired…” Boruto reasoned with a sigh, he hadn’t had a break throughout this entire training session. Sarada knew her father was strict when it came to training with Boruto, so she could understand his exhaustion. But she also knew that even if he sounded as childish as he was two years ago, she knew that he had matured… at least, in some aspects. Unlike last time when he ran off, thinking his Rasengan had failed, she knew if he failed again now, he wouldn’t run away like last time. He would try again. He would not give up. So what he said next didn’t surprise her.

“So you want to stop?” Sasuke scoffed.

Determination suddenly gleamed in his eyes as he quickly shook his head, taking out eight Shurikens. “Hell no!” He exclaimed.

As much as Sarada wanted to stay and even join them, she decided not to, even if she was planning to do some Shuriken training too. She didn’t want to interrupt them. Besides, she was sure her father already had enough on his hands with Boruto already.

As she continued her walk to find another suitable spot, the conversation she had with her mother a few days ago began to flash in her mind.

-

“Why the sad face, Sarada? He’s coming back after another mission very soon for dinner today.” Sakura beamed, before sitting next to her daughter on the couch. She had just finished making dinner. When Sarada didn’t answer, she gave her a small nudge to snap her out of whatever deep thoughts she was having. “Did something happen with Boruto and Mitsuki or…?”

“No, Mama, nothing happened.” Sarada offered a small smile. She was telling a half-truth, though. It was true that nothing serious happened between them at all, like arguments, fights and whatnot. But at the same time, it was also true that those two were a part of the reason why she seemed a little troubled.

She wondered if it was normal for someone of the Uchiha Clan to not have at least two tomoes in their eyes by now. She had wanted to ask her father about this for quite a while now, but she had been hesitant. After all, he always seemed hesitant when it came to sharing anything about the Uchiha history.

All Sarada knew about her heritage was pretty much limited to the book she had read about it before, and even that book’s full content about Sharingan and their users was restricted. And she wished she knew why. But at the same time, a part of her was afraid to know why.

“You know, you can tell me anything.” Her mother’s tone softened into something warm and gentle, it was a tone that never failed to soothe her. To say the bond between her and Sarada was strong, was a huge understatement. Sarada loved and cared for her mother dearly. The same went with her father, of course. Although for the most part, if she had any problems regarding her emotions, she seemed to turn to Sakura more often.

However this time, she decided to only tell her a little bit of her troubles, considering her father was more or less a factor for it. She didn’t want to worry her, or her other parent. “I feel like I’m falling behind Boruto and Mitsuki.” She admitted, “I mean, it’s been more or less two years… and my Sharingan’s still…” She began to trail off, but Sakura already heard enough to understand.

“You’re still young.” Sakura spoke softly, “You still have time to improve on your strengths. And Sarada, trust me, you aren’t falling behind. Konohamaru told me the other day that you’re improving, he even said you’re getting much better at chakra control and ensuring you won’t—”

“Yeah, but still...” Sarada had cut her off, “It’s just… the Sharingan, I… I don’t know.”

Sakura’s eyes softened. She could undeniably empathise with her daughter. She once felt left behind, too. But, Sarada was anything but weak now—she was much stronger than she ever was at her age. “You can always have Konohamaru to train you personally on your Sharingan.”

“I did. But… I mean, he’s not a Sharingan user. There’s a limit on how much I can learn from him.” Sarada reasoned. If she had the courage, she would’ve told her mother about how she envied Boruto ever since he became Sasuke’s disciple. And then, she’d have told her why she never pestered her father too much on training her despite the fact he was the only present Sharingan user known to her—it was because she didn’t want to use up their family time for the sake of her training. It was because she wanted her Mama and Papa to spend more time together, too. But she didn’t. She didn’t tell her.

The thing was, she told her father that she was okay with him training with Boruto. She told him that she didn’t mind. And despite her current emotions and thoughts, and as contradictory it might sound, she still stood by what she said. Maybe it was because of the glimmering enthusiasm in her childhood friend’s blue eyes that made her unable to say that she didn’t want him to train with him.

Besides, it’d do Boruto good to train with Sasuke. He was definitely improving vastly as a Ninja now. Admittedly, he still had that rash attitude of his, but ever since he trained under him, he was… well, less of an idiot. That was the best way Sarada could put it.

Plus, it wasn’t as if her father didn’t take some time to train her. He did teach her that Fireball Jutsu. It was just, unlike Boruto, she wasn’t his fulltime disciple. She just wished…

“Sa-ra-da.” Sakura spoke, “You—”

Sakura’s sentence was cut off by the ring of the doorbell. Not wanting to keep whoever was waiting behind the door, she paused in her conversation with Sarada and went to open the door, revealing Sasuke.

After that, their conversation wasn’t continued. And Sarada would now never know what Sakura was about to say to her, but she could guess that her mother who had her sharp motherly senses, had probably figured out the full reason of what had been troubling her.

Yet, she didn’t continued their conversation. Instead, they spent what was left of that remaining day having dinner and doing some family bonding. To say the least, that family bonding did make her feel a little happier, and it had been enough to shoo off her concerns temporarily.

-

This is a perfect spot. Sarada thought, as she began to take out some of her shurikens.

Honestly, there was a part of her who did want to ask the Seventh Hokage—Naruto Uzumaki, to be her permanent mentor, considering she knew he was an extremely close friend of her father’s. So surely, he must know more about it than Konohamaru, right?

But she knew The Seventh was busy enough with his duties as Hokage. Not to mention, Sarada wasn’t so selfish that she’d steal any remaining free time from Naruto. She rather have him spend that time with Boruto and the rest of his family. She didn’t have the heart to steal away their family time. She knew how much Boruto wanted to spend more time with his father, even if he never said it out loud.

She could’ve asked her mother, too. Sakura was his wife after all. But she already seemed busy with her job at the hospital. Moreover, by the time she came home from work, she still had to do some household chores and make dinner. Sure, Sarada assisted her as much as she could, but there were days where she couldn’t due to her trainings and missions. She’d come home to a tired Sakura most of the time. And she didn’t want to exhaust her any further.

Although, maybe if one day Sakura was free and not tired, she might ask her if she could teach her some Medical Jutsu. Sarada had been growing a little interested in it recently. But, her main focus for now was her Sharingan, so it seemed.

I don’t know who else to ask. Sarada thought as she sighed quietly before throwing her shurikens at the target boards that were on the trees. And all of them had hit the target. Maybe I should try it with the kunai. She thought silently before taking out a pair.

However, just as she was about to throw, she sensed someone nearby. She then noticed she was being watched.

How long had she been watched?

Before she could turn around, she felt that someone approaching her from behind, getting closer. Not having the time to determine if the new presence was malicious or not, she quickly activated her Sharingan. Clenching onto her kunais tightly, she turned around swiftly, only to loosen her grip on her kunais as she realised who it had been watching her.

“Calm down.” She hadn’t seen him for quite a while. “It’s just me.”

Her red-coloured Sharingan eyes faded back to black as she watched the Sixth Hokage—Kakashi Hatake—approach her.

“T-The Sixth?!” She exclaimed, wondering what he was doing here, or rather, why he was watching her.

“Hello, Sarada. It’s been a while since we last chatted like this.” Although Sarada was unable to tell since he wore that mask, he was smiling a little.

It was just a nice feeling to see the daughter of two of the people he had once guided in Team 7, growing up well. He remembered seeing Sarada as a new-born child when Sasuke and Sakura had returned from a mission. He was glad that they returned safely, and was glad Sakura had been able to deliver her safely despite the fact she was on a mission.

It was just a touching feeling to see the old Team 7 he had guided, to have grown so much. The only bad thing that came out of them starting families and whatnot, was that he was referred as an Uncle by Boruto. Am I really that old? He had wondered at that time.

Well, unlike Boruto, Sarada never really called him Uncle. She often referred to him as The Sixth Hokage—Rokudaime, if anything.

“What are you doing here all alone?” He queried.

“I was… practicing Shuriken-Jutsu… what about you? What are you doing here?” She questioned back, curious.

“Hm? Oh, I was searching for you.” He answered, and before Sarada could ask another question he quickly continued. “I saw Sasuke not too far from here training with Boruto on Shuriken-Jutsu too. You could join them.”

And that’s when he saw the young Uchiha’s eyes and even expression, soften into something along the line of sad. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt them.” She gave a weak smile.

It was just as Sakura said. He thought, as he remembered the day she had approached him.

-

"I haven't seen you in a while Kakashi-sensei." Sakura had chuckled lightly.

Kakashi sighed lightly, "You know, I'm technically not your sensei anymore."

"Don't say that." Sakura said, "To me, you'll always be Kakashi-sensei. Besides, you don't complain so much whenever Naruto and I call you that." She smirked a little.

"Yeah, yeah..." He rolled his eyes a little, thankful for the mask that hid the smile that had just formed on his lips. He didn't need anymore teasing. Although he had to admit, he was indeed quite happy that most of his students still referred to him as 'sensei', even after when he had become the Sixth Hokage. "What did you call me out for, anyway?"

Kakashi was definitely caught off guard by what she had said. Although, before he could say anything, she continued. “Aside from Sasuke-kun, you’re the only one who had the Sharingan after all.”

Had. He was a Sharingan user, albeit not anymore.

“Of course, I know you’re still the Sixth Hokage, who still has responsibilities, so you don’t have to. It’s just… even though Sarada has trained her hardest, she feels a little dissatisfied with herself, especially with the fact that she still only has one tomoe each in her eyes even after two years. And even though she doesn’t say it out loud, I know she wants to at least train with someone who has experience with the Sharingan. But she doesn’t want to bother her father more than she already does, since he already has Boruto to teach. She’s… a considerate girl.” Sakura sighed. It seemed like she really could read her daughter like an open book. Because what she said was true, even if Sarada never told her about it. “Of course, Sasuke-kun still teaches her new Jutsus every now and then, like that Fireball Jutsu. But he hadn’t done so much recently with her, since he still has that mission and not to mention, his Boruto’s mentor now.”

Kakashi heaved a heavy sigh as he scratched the back of his head, “But why ask me? Aside from the Sharingan part, I’m sure Konohamaru is doing a great job, no?”

“That’s true.” Sakura sighed, “But it seems like she really wants to focus on that Sharingan of hers. Plus, you already know her dream, she wants to be the Hokage. No one else is better suited than you.”

Kakashi thought about it for a while. As of now, he didn’t have that much responsibilities as compared to Naruto who was probably still working at the Hokage’s office. Granted, he still had some duties as the Sixth Hokage, especially since there was still that ongoing Otsutsuki issue. But, he wasn’t so busy that he couldn’t take in a student.

Plus, he knew Sarada had an immense amount of potential. She had inherited Sakura’s strength and Sasuke’s Sharingan. It would definitely be a waste if she didn’t maximise her potential to its fullest. And to some extent, he could see what Sakura meant. The best way to master the Sharingan, was to have someone who had more experience with it, to teach the less experienced one.

It wouldn’t hurt becoming a sensei again, would it?

Shrugging his shoulders as he heaved another heavy sigh, he groaned quietly, “I can’t believe you’re making me come out from my retirement as a sensei, Sakura.”

-

“Rokudaime?” Sarada called out when she noticed Kakashi had been spacing out. “Why were you looking for me? Did I do something wrong?” She asked, sounding a little worried.

Kakashi quickly shook his head, “No.” He answered simply. “But you don’t have to call me Rokudaime anymore. Starting from today, you’ll be calling me Kakashi-sensei.”

Eh? Sarada had always been intelligent, but still, it took her brain quite a while to process what he had just said. And when it did, only one word left her lips.

“EHHHHH?”

[baeluz]

Backstory Tingz

★TW: content about binge eating, restriction, sexual abuse, depression, alcohol abuse, and dysfunctional families★

Hello, hello, and welcome to my shit show of a life. Honestly, I don’t expect anyone to read this, but I feel like just posting this stuff will give me more accountability. Plus its easier to type than write, so lets gooo online journal. 

Since the pandemic started, I believe all of us have been going through rough times. From the poor to the people up at the top, we all have our own struggles. I’ve been blessed with a life of privilege to be born in a first world country (US), and in a middle class family, and I’m incredibly grateful for it. But some days I feel like such an asshole, because I feel like being able to binge is such a privilege.

Now I’m not saying that someone who’s poor can’t suffer from binge eating, but I personally feel so guilty when I do binge, not only because of my body looks right after, but also because of all the money, time and food wasted. While there are people out in the world starving, I’m here, unable to control myself from binging. What made this guilt worse was me living in India most my life, since that’s where my parents are from. I grew up seeing people on the streets, begging for food and money. 

As a child I used to be really fussy, and I would cry and scream until I got what I wanted. That mixed with a dysfunctional family, and sexual assault experiences from when I was a child gave me anxiety and depression from a really young age. And the only way I knew how to cope with that was drowning myself in music, isolating myself in my room and eating. It was weird, because I seemed like a happy kid that just likes being alone, but on the inside I was dying. I didn’t want anyone to see me, and I felt disgusted with myself all the time. I have a naturally curvy body, and since I was verging on obese as a kid, that part of me was very prominent. And you know the men in India, they stare at you like they ain’t ever seen a woman. It doesn’t matter if you’re a kid or a grown up, you got a vagina, they want it. Anyways, this made me wear jackets in scorching heat, made me not wanna look good because I thought maybe if I looked ugly they would stop looking, and made me want to binge more because of how disgusted I was with myself. 

I’m older now, and I know I can’t do anything about my body shape, and its not my fault I look this way. I’ve even lost all the weight, and started going to the gym when I was about 15 years old. But through those years, I used to starve myself so much, because I didn’t know anything about how to healthily lose weight. And that made skinny fat, so my thighs were still huge as fuck and I was so triggered by it. It didn’t help that I moved to Japan by myself, and everyone around me was such a smaller frame, while I was looking huge as hell taking up so much space. 

Everyone in Japan looked so skinny, and I wanted to wear the type of clothes they were, but I couldn’t do that. That made go through a cycle where I would restrict and walk like 30k steps a day, and then binge on the weekends. Once I discovered alcohol, shit went through the roof. I would buy 3 large cans of vodka soda, skip school and just drink and binge on food. It was so scary, I didn’t even realize what I was doing. Luckily that phase only lasted like 4 months and now I don’t drink alcohol at all, not only because of the binging but because of the type of person it made me. Once I even stole food from my roommate, but I quickly went to the grocery store and bought back another bag so she wouldn’t notice that I did. 

Once I graduated from high school I came back to the US and decided to really turn my life around. I took a gap year because I thought I really needed to work on my mental health, and also because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in university and didn’t want to waste my parents money. This is probably one of my biggest regrets in life lol. Please don’t take a gap year if you don’t have a strict plan or idea about what you’ll do. I was so lonely, because I don’t have any friends here since I didn’t grow up here. I couldn’t go anywhere because my parents both worked all day, so I had no car, and since we lived in the suburbs, nothing was nearby. It was so depressing being all alone with nobody to talk to since most my friends were busy with university. Plus all the arguing with my mom, and just us not getting along really made me want to kms. I think if I didn’t have my dog, I probably would’ve gone crazy. 

On the plus side, I started going to the gym and weightlifting. I started being more mindful of how I ate, and I was able to reflect on my emotions, and why I was acting the way I was. What was making me binge, what was making me feel so empty inside, and why was I finding it so hard to just “be normal”. I still don’t have the answers to all these questions, but at least I feel a bit more in control of myself than before. 

Since the pandemic started though, I’ve just been so depressed. The gyms were closed, financial situations got tight, my mom and I were fighting a lot more, and I started binging again. Throughout 2020, I was behaving the same way I was in Japan. I’d go on 3-4 hour walks, and then restrict, which would ultimately lead me to binge. Its evident that even when you feel like you’ve recovered and moved on from your disordered eating habits, its always in the back of your mind. Almost like an addiction. Its to the point that food is the only thing in my mind. After eating a meal, I’ll keep thinking about what I’m eating next, when I’m eating next, and to finish eating before my parents come home, because I hate eating in front of people. 

I’ve lost motivation to do everything I’ve loved, like writing songs, learning the guitar, doing yoga, singing, gaming, etc. Its just food, food, food, and its so scary. People don’t understand because its an internal thing. Those who’ve never been through it wouldn’t know. Like my mom, shes obese, but at least she doesn’t look at food like an enemy. She just likes to eat, she’s not ashamed of her body, and she’s also able to control how much she eats at a time. I wanna be able to look at food that way. 

Anywhoooo, now that all of that is off my chest, I’m dedicating this “blog” to 90 days of getting back on track, and healthily reaching my fitness goals once again. This is really just for me, but maybe if somebody who’s been through the same things I have reads this, they might find comfort in finding that they’re not alone, and maybe they’ll be motivated to join me. I’m going to get back into weight lifting, along with eating a healthy diet with just a bit of a deficit, because your bish has gained hella weight lol. I also want to get back into yoga and aim to be able to do the splits. My timeline goal is 12 weeks, but of course I wont be bummed if I don’t reach it because its not like I have anyone to show at the end lol, but I believe I can do it if I really stick to it. Fingers crossed I don’t binge. 

Thank you for reading if anybody has really made it this far <3

-Luz

[skamfrance]

Imane’s disappearing hijab

Warning: this is going to be a loooong post.

Some of you have been wondering why Imane is often seen without her hijab in Skam France. As many of you have pointed out, a hijab is something women who choose to wear it always have on in public spaces. To French viewers, the answer is obvious: Imane simply isn’t allowed to wear her hijab when she’s at school. If she came to school wearing it, she’d be asked to remove it. If she refused, she’d be sent home.

What you have to understand first is the French notion of laïcité, which is sometimes translated as “secularism”. It is a principle stated in the very beginning of the French Constitution (”France is a [...] secular Republic”. It is the principle of separation of State and religion, the State cannot recognise any religion above the others. You wouldn’t hear a French politician end a speech with a “God bless France” or anything like that.

Public schools in France are extremely secular. I was in public school my whole life, and I remember one time I visited a Catholic private school, and I was sat in class for two hours staring (and I mean staring) at the crucifix above the blackboard as if it had offended me - to me, it just didn’t belong in a school (and I was raised Catholic). Teachers aren’t supposed to know about their students’ religion and vice versa. Kids talk about religion between themselves, of course, but never really in detail (in my experience). The idea is that if people don’t know your religion, they can’t discriminate against you because of it.

The hijab issue started in september 1989, when three female students (aged ~13) were banned from their middle school for wearing the hijab. The school principal stated that the goal of the school was to limit the exteriorization of any particular religion, and urged the parents of the girls to respect the principle of “laïcité” in the school (which had a majority of Muslim students, btw). This was very controversial at the time, and it is still controversial now. Following this, there were a series of similar cases, some girls who didn’t usually wear the hijab came to school wearing them as a form of protest. The three girls were able to return to school when they agreed to take their hijabs off, but after about a month they started wearing them again and were banned from class. At the time, those who sided with the principal argued that if you lived in France, you had to conform with French traditions and principles (and follow “laïcité”). A lot of people also viewed (and still view) the hijab as a symbol of female oppression. Those who defended the girls didn’t argue with laïcité, but said that it was wrong to ban the girls from school, because that meant excluding them because of their religion. Petitions were signed, columns were written, everyone was talking about it.    

The government had to do something, so they asked the Conseil d’Etat (which is an instiution that advises the government on passing new bills) for their opinion in november 1989. The CE said that the “islamic veil, in a public school, was compatible with laïcité”, and that you could only expel or ban a student if they were a direct threat to the school or if they disturbed the activities of the school. So the Ministry of Education told teachers that it was their responsability to accept girls wearing the hijab or not, that it varied from one case to another. Of course that didn’t stop anything, students were still being banned. High school kids started protesting against the new policy, and several of them ended up being expelled from school. Between 1994 and 2003, about 100 girls were expelled from middle and high schools for wearing the hijab.

That’s where the law comes in. In 2003, the government organized a Commission (The Stasi Commission) on the subject. After about six months, they came to the conclusion that France had to establish “strict rules” so that people could live together in a multicultural society. So on March 15, 2004, the law was adopted. It states that all ostentatious signs of religion are banned from schools: that includes “the islamic veil, whatever name is given to it”, the kippa and large crosses (which no one wears anyway). Discreet signs are allowed (small chains with crosses, religious medals, star of David pendants, etc.). The law applies to both students and faculty members. It does not apply at the university level. In march 2012, Luc Chatel, the Minister of Education, allowed schools to ban veiled women from accompanying students on field trips (usually a few parents can come with their kid’s class on field trips). His successor, Najat Vallaud-Belkacem said that parents should only be excluded if they were being disruptive, but that mothers couldn’t be banned simply for wearing the hijab. 

All public employees are banned from showing religious affiliation on the job (so no hijab for them either). In the private sector, a company can put restrictions on the hijab “if it goes against it’s image or commercial interest” (link is in French, sorry). Since 2010, full face veils have been banned from all public spaces, not because they are a religious sign, but because it is forbidden to cover your face in public, for security reasons. The penalty for wearing such a veil is a 150 euro fine. During the summer of 2016, there was another ridiculous debate on the burkini (swimming gear that covers the whole body), women were being banned from beaches for being too covered up. People argued that they were showing they belonged to another community, and that’s unacceptable for many French people.

Conclusion: the reason for banning the hijab is that France is obsessed with “integration” (if you come to France, you do as the French do). There is a desire for conformity that is omnipresent in French society in that everyone should adhere to a certain set of values, and laïcité is at the top of them. Religious affiliation is seen by some as slightly anti-French - are you first and foremost Christian? Jewish? Muslim? Or are you French? For some people, these are mutually exclusive. But of course, Catholicism is the “tradtitional” French religion, so while it’s still perceived a bit negatively to be too religious even for Catholic people, they don’t have to deal with the same discrimination as Jewish or Muslim people do. 

Don’t hesitate to ask if you have further questions!

[lifeafterthewatchtower]

1. Hi! I’m from Austria and basically I grew up in a jw family (parents/grandparents/aunts etc). Where are you from? I’m 18 and not baptised. Just attending the regular meetings. It’s a bit random but the main reason I’m writing is because I am literally shocked reading your expierence. I’m really curious wether this is a cultural thing or not. Basically I grew up in a very liberal household. I didn’t have to go preaching from door to door as a kid, i never experienced any form of abuse or

2. Violence. I never felt any pressure to be baptised, and never felt restricted about my hobbies or movie choices like being professionally involved in sports or reading stuff with magic etc. Obviously the big rules about sex, birthdays and blood transfusions are relevant but other than that I never felt restrictive. As i said this is because my parents are super liberal and they let me and my siblings decide for ourselves.

3. But based on what I read here, I think all of my family wouldn’t be consider improper by your community. I’m truly amazed in how different the experience in the same religion can be and I have no idea why in some places people are so strict and mean while elsewhere people have the freedom. Anyways, that was my experience. I wish you the best and I’m sorry if you had to suffer for your personal beliefs and being different than people wanted you to be. Just keep going :)

——-

First of all: Thank you very much for reaching out and for your kind words, anon! And thank you for your candor and honesty. I really appreciate it!Let me make one thing very clear: I am not bitter or angry or anything like that. Sure, sometimes the thought comes to my mind: “What if my childhood and teenage years would have been different?”It’s a futile question though. Because I cannot change it. All I can change is what is happening now. So… that is what I try to do.

I am aware that some of my posts have an aggressive undertone. Funnily enough, it was my wife who told me that. She said something to the effect of “If people don’t know you… and they don’t know that you’re sort of the most laid back person ever… they will think that you’re yelling and screaming at them” *lol* So… well… the little voice in people’s heads when reading a text… Try to imagine some guy lounging in an armchair and maybe sipping on a cocktail when reading what I wrote ;) I don’t sit in an armchair though. And I rarely drink alcohol, but that sort of relaxed state is what I am usually in ;) 

So why that blog? Honestly, after literally years of not wanting to be involved with any sort of religion or religious thoughts but with that dark cloud of doubts hanging over my head whether leaving the Watchtower was the right decision, I thought:

“Now or never! What if I was wrong? What if I was right? I don’t know. So I need to find out”.I was at that point in my life where I thought: “If the Watchtower is indeed right… And if it’s really God’s word that they are teaching… Why do I doubt? Either I simply didn’t understand it all correctly. Or I DID understand it correctly and I just didn’t like it. OR it all is indeed wrong. So whatever it is, I need to find out. I cannot go on like that.”And so I started to inform myself. While doing so, I realized that there are so many, many other people out there who are struggling with the same problems.  And some with much more severe problems. And that is why I made this blog. 

Okay… after this “intro”:

Yes, indeed, the question how people practice their faith can be quite different. Even in a comparatively strict religion like that of the Jehovah’s Witnesses, which can (and should) be seen as a “high control group”, and which puts a lot of effort into “worldwide unity”.The teachings and rules of JWs are the exact same all over the world. But there are indeed those who are more the “hardliner types” and those who are more liberal. And that certainly varies from country to country, but especially from congregation to congregation, and - of course - from family to family.The congregation that I was involved in shared the same Kingdom Hall with another congregation, and “the other one” was apparently more strict that ours. We sometimes even joked about “the others” as “Brothers and sisters who still believe in demons” ;)

In my experience, JWs in European countries are more liberal than those in countries on other continents, especially the US. I think, it’s indeed a cultural thing. Europe is and “always” has been more secular.

Like you, my parents never pressured me into getting baptized, doing field service etc. My parents even tried to keep my sister from getting baptized “too early”. I honestly can’t say if this was a rule back then, but if I remember correctly, getting baptized was only possible once one reached the age of 14.Reading things like that some kids as young as 12 getting baptized sends shivers down my spine. As I see it, even 14 is way too young to make an informed life-changing decision like that.

Here is one thing about Jehovah’s Witnesses that is really something to think about:

As long as you’re not baptized there is not much anyone can do. Sure, your parents - who are responsible for you as long as you’re underage - will or will not put pressure on you. In my case, it was my mom who was worried all of the time about the “worldly influence”. And she never held back from telling me about it. She told me about how she’s afraid that I will get killed during Armageddon if I “stray from the right path”, she thoroughly observed everything I did and always had a Bible verse ready to tell me that about everything that I was interested in and that I put time and effort into was basically of no value at all.  Don’t get me wrong, I loved my mom to pieces. She was a wonderful woman. But can you imagine what it does to a kid, if all that counts is what you do for your god, and not who and what you are? And when you get told all of the time that you need to do more. By your parents, during meetings, etc?I don’t know if you’re convinced that what the Watchtower tells you is right, and true, and God’s will. I never really was. But I asked. Because I wanted to understand. What I got was half-baked circular reasoning.

And when I tried to explain myself, what exactly doesn’t fit, I was told to shut up. I was told that I am not humble enough, I was told that I have a critical mind, I was told that I just don’t want to. And that this all is what God Jehovah doesn’t like at all. And so that I’m running into danger to get killed.Imagine what that does to a kid: “You might get killed because you don’t understand and dare to ask questions”. And that all by a god who is said to be understanding and loving and kind.

There’d be a lot to say about the - as you call them - “big rules” the Society made up, the rules about sex, and birthdays, and blood transfusions. I won’t go down that rabbit hole in this answer.

Talking about how legit these rules are is one thing. I am absolutely convinced that none of these rules make any sense at all, that they are dangerous, and also in no way based on the Bible. If you or someone else wants me to, I can elaborate on that in separate posts.

How the Society tries to enforce these rules, and how they treat those who break the rules (as soon as they are baptized Jehovah’s Witnesses) is a whole different story.It gets even dirtier when a person falls victim to someone breaking rules, for example all of the literally thousands (!) of cases of child abuse, of domestic violence etc … that is where it gets really dirty.

The whole structure of the Society, the way women and children are treated within the organization not only makes it comparatively easy for abusers, but makes the whole organization a paradise for these criminals. As an example: Have you ever heard of the “two witness rule”?

Here’s a pretty well written article about it: https://medium.com/@wesharetoinspire/questioning-humanity-the-jehovahs-witnesses-two-witness-rule-ed3b2f5aa6a1

I think it’s awesome that your parents don’t pressure you. I think it’s fantastic that they allow you and your siblings to decide for yourselves. That is how it’s supposed to be. It’s perfectly fine to teach someone what you are convinced of. But it’s a question of HOW you teach them. Through logic and reason or by insisting on what you say is “the truth” and not giving arguments other than: “It was written”. If the only argument that you have is: “It was written”… then you have no evidence at all. Then you only have an opinion. And if inflicting fear is mixed into this then doing a lot of harm is inevitable. Another huge question is whether you allow those you teach to do proper research. At least that is how I see it. The even bigger problems are often what will happen if someone decides to choose a different path. 

Just like you are not baptized (yet), I wasn’t baptized before I left. Every JW I know is still allowed to be in contact with me. I see my sister more or less frequently, I love her, she loves me, and we even discuss religious subjects. But we can only do that because I was never baptized. She does shun my dad though. Because he was disfellowshipped.If I would have been baptized, I would have been disfellowshipped for a couple of reasons. And much more “severe” ones than my father. One reason is “fornication” (I used to be in a relationship with a girl I wasn’t married to - and no, I don’t repent that. Now I am married. Which I also don’t repent ;) another reason is that I openly talked and still talk about my doubts about the Watchtower teachings with practicing Jehovah’s Witnesses who are not elders. I presented and do present evidence that the teachings are wrong. Demonstrably wrong. And that is not allowed.

So if I would have been disfellowshipped, no practicing Jehovah’s Witness would be allowed to be in contact with me without running into danger to get disfellowshipped themselves and so to lose all their JW friends and family.

Openly questioning the Society is a reason to be disfellowshipped and shunned.

Here’s (one last) example to think about:

The Watchtower changed its position on the 1914 teachings a LOT since this religion was founded in the 19th century. Some baptized JWs pointed out the flaws of some of the doctrines concerning this teaching. The result: They were disfellowshipped. Turned out that these people were right. Were they invited back? No. They were still treated as Apostates.Even though they said the truth. Even though the Society changed its doctrine. Could they ever come back themselves?No. Because to be able to come back, one has to repent their sins. Is there a reason to repent having said the truth? So what “sin” did they commit? Speaking against the Society.

I could go on forever like that. But I think it is enough for now 

[anakinsbugs]

The Blogfather

New Post has been published on https://walrusvideo.com/the-blogfather/

The Blogfather

He wasn’t an Arsenal fan, but he was at the 1971 FA Cup final. I wasn’t born yet (I didn’t arrive until September of that double winning year), but he saw Charlie George score that winner and lie flat on his back on the Wembley turf to celebrate.

Like so many of his generation, he came to England from Ireland to find work in the late 1950s, and I’m sure my love of football came from him. There was always a ball, always a kick-around in the garden, or on the front lawn of the castle we lived in for a while (honestly, it was a castle).

Back then you could just go to a football match. Rock up on a Saturday, and pay your way into the ground depending on who was at home. He lived and worked in West London, and nominally he was a Fulham fan. He loved Johnny Haynes, but he was a huge admirer of Jimmy Greaves too. He liked players who could do things with both feet, and he went to matches all over the city, just because he could.

Some of my earliest memories are of him playing football. He started life as a forward (like my brother), but by the time I came along and he was togging out for the village team in Bishopthorpe (near York), he’d moved back to centre-half (where I played my whole life). I’d stand on the sidelines with my mam. I don’t remember the games or the performances, just the fact that I was there and so was he.

..

He was pretty strict when we were young. I think it was because he had very clear ideas about what young men should and shouldn’t do. They should look smart, for example, and definitely not wear jeans. They really shouldn’t watch Grange Hill, because those children were basically juvenile delinquents and didn’t respect figures of authority sufficiently.

He worked a lot though, so it was often drive-by stuff. He spent most his working life in the hospitality industry – bars, restaurants, hotels. Long hours, late nights.

Once, in the back garden, I was winding my brother up, as big brothers do. He reached breaking point and unleashed a wave of expletives that would have made a sailor blush. Dad, probably trying to get a bit of rest upstairs, heard everything, stuck his head out the bedroom window and it was the most trouble any little boy has ever been in before or since. I felt bad, and I bought Tim some Cadbury’s Creme Eggs to say sorry.

..

In 1996 he was away on a golf trip in Spain and fell ill. Cardiomyopathy. The prognosis was not good. He needed a heart transplant. In the mists of time it feels like it happened quickly, but it didn’t. He spent months and months gravely unwell, in and out of hospital, but in the end they took his actual heart out and put someone else’s in.

It’s basically a miracle, isn’t it?

When you think about it, it’s absolutely crazy, but as I said at his eulogy, it changed his life and it saved his life. He became a fierce advocate for organ donation. He helped found the Irish Heart and Lung Transplant Association, and he went onto to chair the European Heart and Lung Transplant Federation. He wanted to ensure as many people as possible could benefit from the incredible medical advancements, and the work carried out by doctors and transplant teams.

As you might imagine, that kind of thing gives you a new perspective on life. He was certainly mellower post-transplant, but it coincided with us reaching a stage of adult life where your relationship with your parents changes anyway. We did a lot of stuff together. Golf, pints, dinners, holidays, even the Arsenal.

I don’t know if the trip we took to London was specifically to see a game, or if it coincided with something else, but he came with me to the Emirates to see us play in the Champions League. We played PSV and a late goal from on-loan Chelsea defender Alex saw us crash out. Not exactly a stellar night on the pitch, but it was still a good one off it. We had post-game pints in The Tollington, he met many of the Arseblog crew, and he often talked about how much he enjoyed it.

He loved Arseblog and what it became. He’d read most days. He’d say ‘Some of those chaps on the Arses are a bit fruity, aren’t they?!’.  He even listened to a podcast, impressed and somewhat astonished with how often, and with such variation, Ian Wright said my name.

..

He hadn’t been well for a couple of weeks. I took him to the doctors on February 1st. She told me she was worried about his kidneys. Years of anti-rejection and immuno-suppressant drugs take their toll. Blood test results came back that afternoon. He needed to be in hospital.

I remember him waving to us from the ambulance before it pulled away, his big overcoat pulled tightly around him on a cold evening. Over the next couple of weeks he was treated for the infection, he was getting there, but slowly.

On Monday February 15th I got a phone call from a doctor. He’d been unwell, so they ran more tests. One of them was for Covid-19. It came back positive. We spent a year doing everything we could to keep him safe during the pandemic, and somehow he picked it up in the Coronary Care Unit of a hospital.

Yet over the next week, he didn’t really develop any of the major symptoms. On Monday February 22nd he called from his bed, we spoke about him coming home. He couldn’t wait to get back to his chair, in front of the fire, to watch golf and CNN. We wondered how strong he’d be, what care he might need. How we might have to adapt the house. Downstairs bedroom, stairlift, that kind of thing.

Then … day 10. Covid hit.

Did you ever get winded? It’s scary, isn’t it? Those few seconds where you can’t catch your breath. Imagine that all the time. He needed oxygen, then more oxygen, then all the oxygen it’s possible to give someone.

We were lucky in that we were allowed in to see him. We got to talk to him. That will always be a comfort, but seeing your dad on his own in a six bed ward, surrounded by and attached to machines, struggling to breathe is brutal. You want to help somehow, but you can’t.

We were clad in so much PPE, gown, masks, goggles, gloves, that he thought we were doctors at first. Maybe that’s why he told ‘them’ he didn’t want to die in hospital.

He died in hospital … in the early hours of March 2nd.

He’d been through so much. The heart transplant, he beat a lung cancer situation, he had an ongoing prostate cancer situation, but he couldn’t beat this. He was 84 and he’d lived a good life, but it doesn’t make it any easier to see someone you love die like that.

I’m not going to preach to anyone, but I can only urge you to be cautious. I know we’re all fed up with restrictions and life being the way it is. I know there is light at the end of the tunnel as vaccines are being rolled out, but this virus is still out there and it’s still dangerous. The most vulnerable among us are still loved and cherished family members and friends. Please don’t lose sight of that amid frustration, we all have a responsibility to each other. Someone’s age or their underlying condition doesn’t make them expendable.

Be careful. Look after each other. Each one of those statistics released daily is a real person, with many more left behind. Wash your hands. Wear a mask – at worst it’s a mild inconvenience, at best it saves lives, maybe even your own. Get the vaccine when you can.

My daughter, who I haven’t seen in person for over a year now, couldn’t get home for her grandad’s funeral. The funeral at which only ten people were allowed. That’s not how we do things in Ireland. There was no wake, no telling of stories about the one just gone. The laughs you have at events like that seem incongruous to the situation, but they’re a big part of how get through it.

Like so many other families over this last 12 months, we were apart at a time when we needed to be together. Just a couple of weeks previously my big cousin Adrian, a Gooner and only a few years older than I am, was taken by Covid too. He wasn’t elderly, he wasn’t high risk. I had to ring my dad in hospital and tell him, and while the staff in there were so lovely, he had nobody to share that grief with in person.

The support mechanisms we have in place to cope with things like this aren’t there any more. There are very obvious impacts of Covid on our lives, but there are malingering ones which I don’t think we’ll come to understand for some time yet.

..

Whatever nurses are paid, they deserve twice that, and more. They are amazing. They don’t need to be clapped, they need to be paid properly. You might not need them now, so perhaps they don’t register, but there will come a time when you will, and they will be amazing for you and your family too.

They shouldn’t have to fight for the compensation they deserve. We should be fighting for them. We should be angry on their behalf. Fight for healthcare.

Pay them properly.

..

My dad was an amazing man. Really funny, kind, generous, a good person who was the linchpin of our family, and we’re going to miss him terribly. He was well cool too, I mean, look at that 1960s shades/rollneck action he had going on.

I’m experiencing a lot of emotions right now, and it’s going to take some time to process, as they say. Today though, I just want to remember him in a positive way. A man who had a huge influence on who am I, someone who – when I think of him – makes me smile.

It’s absolutely shit he’s not going to be around anymore, and the circumstances of his passing were deeply unpleasant. It’s been a really rough few weeks, to be honest. However, he gave me the strength to get through this, and on this Arsenal blog I’m gonna take the owner’s privilege and set myself up with a tap-in to finish.

Love you Dad, and as a wise man once said, you were f*ckin’ excellent.

The post The Blogfather appeared first on Arseblog … an Arsenal blog.

The Article The Blogfather First Appeared ON : https://arsenalweb.co.uk

The Article The Blogfather First Appeared ON : https://gqcentral.co.uk

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