#anyway its not going anywhere but im having fun
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Currently writing swap AU where Kim is just himself on hard mode. Like he wakes up in a clean, normal room, puts on the same outfit as always and doesn't tell anyone he's forgotten everything until Harry wheedles it out of him by badgering him for One Singe Secret (he cant remember any).
He then goes outside and points a gun at a civilian over a perceived threat.
#also he has a preexisting speed problem but because of the way he has a speed problem#(keeps a set number of pills in a little days of the week pill caddy with his ptsd medication)#he assumes they're like antidepressants or something#and just. keeps taking them? and it doesn't come up till after the tribunal?#also all the political alignments are variations on him going “no... that's too extreme... give me something reasonable”#and then going to a Fantasy Labour Party debate on how to reach across the isle to revacholean nationalists#or meeting with a group of small business owners to share finance tips and deductible loopholes. all of it feels hollow.#He also doesn't put on glasses for the first six to eight in-game hours#until Garte (who is cool with him because he pays his bills on time and hasn't caused a fuss) finally cracks and asks where they went#anyway its not going anywhere but im having fun#(pushes his career slider backwards)(raises the unfair treatment bar)#(tweaks the dials on his workaholic and repression meters to “worse”)(drives “need for control” display into the red)#(flips harry switch from “most fucked up man alive” to “somewhat better but still not doing well by any stretch of the imagination”)#ive done it ive made a version of this that I would enjoy#one of his thought projects is trying to write a facts and logic debunking of the insulindian phasmid#the solution is “it isn't real because its silly. im going to stop thinking about this now because I am solving a murder.”#+physique: no longer expending energy on debating dream logic#-morale: couldn't come up with a comprehensive refutation for giant stick bugs#harry hasn't gone full Tequila Sunset drives-my-car-into-the-sea but he has gotten pissed and told everyone to fuck off for three days
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gyahhh heres my galasynth piece for this year,, i think i could have posted it earlier but i dont like making non art posts so i sat on this one to say it was my birthday yesterday and i am 18yo now,,,,, turns into ash and blows away in the wind
#i was going ot post this yesterday like on my birthday but i didnt oops wahhhhh#who care#anyway though i had a lot of fun with these designs#i like them a lot#i might draw them again#or repurpose these outfits for other things#i might give them to some of my other ocs now that i think about it actaully#hand me downs for the ocs#digital art#art#mine#my art#fanart#vocal synth#utau#utauloid#defoko#adachi rei#galasynth#galasynth 2024#zine#is this how i tag things#i cant rember my own tagging system#i dont even have a full explanation of it anywhere#there is no hope for fixing this#unrelated but new mayo vb in the works ive otoed it a little#also unrelated but done more writing for my game#ill need to complerely redo it later anyway but whatever who care#also im looking to do some october drawing challenege maybe#its already october 1st ? ok who care
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the post grad why did i get an art degree what am i even doing what do i want in life where am i going crisis has finally hit i want to. lie down in the dirt. or something
#WHAT AM I DOING!!!!#i get up i go to my stupid retail job i stick labels on bags they pay me fucking thirteen bucks an hour i come home i lie on the couch#too tired to draw in too much pain to go anywhere no energy to reach out to college friends to do anything fun#no idea where the even start with getting an industry job no clue what i even WANT at this point#trying to remember what i loved so much about comics i want it BACK i HATE this#WHAT IS THE POINT!!!! WHAT DO I WANT WHERE AM I GOING!!! WHAT COMES NEXT!!!!!!#there's no clear career trajectory i can't do freelance i need structure i can't work too much i need free time#my brain doesn't work every job requires me to move across the country the irs just took fucking three hundred stupid dollars from me#my friends live in different states i can't get a job without experience i can't get experience without a job#i can't work on my portfolio with no energy and no time and i dont have any money and everything is so expensive all the time#i can't get anywhere bc i dont drive and im too stressed to think about taking driving lessons again#and WHAT DO I WANT!#THE MOST INTERESTING THING I DO EVERY WEEK IS GO TO PHYSICAL THERAPY!#I AM EXCITED EVERY WEEK FOR PHYSICAL THERAPY!!!! WHY!!!!!!!!#anyway WHATEVER i need to go to bed#delete later#i got into spx. today. so. had to have a crisis about how i felt when i attended spx (energized. excited. a part of something. ambitious)#versus how i feel now (tired. unmotivated. kind of apathetic about art. disconnected)#i dont miss the stress of school but i miss being around other artists. ppl who speak your language and who want the same things you want#ppl who are excited abut art and that makes YOU excited about art. ppl who get you#i miss that i want that back#whatever. its 1am i gotta go shower i have an 8.5 hour shift tomorrow. wahoo. $13.50/hr lets go
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blood loss edition
#sk8 the infinity#kyan reki#hasegawa langa#renga#colloquially. like gesturing towards a signifier of a signifier of a story told long before. youre not getting more out of me than that#ft. tố linh (and them in yuutoverse for a hot second)#if u wonder what a dirt historian is. stay tuned <3#that thing reki does in the first page is a real thing everyone here's convinced of btw#like. free hangin from a bar by ur arms will make u taller#also I literally did not mean to design amy and linh Like That. I did Not mean for them to be. Like That#but I am happy that I did. bc I love their design and they play well with yuuto#the last page is. some extremely disorganized Thoughts from a thing I kinda wanna write#maybe not right now. but eventually#I guess it's also mostly like. one more love letter to the siblings out there. it has to do with reki getting#underground basically illegal T shots at S lmao#shakes u by the collar we're not going anywhere! I love you!! everything will find its place!!!!#anyways. there are also a number of muppet type creatures in this one. idk whats up with that#I dont have much blood in me rn Im not lucid. have fun be urself ok?#thats also why the inks been taking a break btw. and the fact that my new pot of ink just arrived today#while Im being deprived of my appropriate volume of intravenous fluid#man. may be another day. before I can stop screaming at my wall and punching things off shelves. and draw properly#meanwhile. u know whats up#I go lay down now. have fun ok? be kind to ur tall friends knee them only gently#also just realized future!langa kinda has a bit of haruka vibes. that is literally so awesome
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is college supposed to make you feel suicidal everyday🤨
#cause people always say college was the best years of their life and i feel like i dont get to have that cause#i go to stupid community college#there is nothing fun about this#its impossible to make friends and theres nothing to do here and the food sucks and everything sucks#but i know i cant drop out or else im not gonna get anywhere in life#so i have to power through but im really really bad at powering through#THIS SUCKS!!! YHIS SUCKSSSS!!!!!!!!!#anyways😛
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I always feel bad for being even a little dissatisfied with my circumstances and then I remember that most of the people around me (both irl and online) would probably go absolutely bonkers in my circumstances
#like. i literally have no money. i dont buy things. i dont ask for things#it has always been like this#its not that i dont *want* money- its just that i dont have a choice being disabled and all#and i have all my necessities provided (well most of them) so like. i would feel ungrateful for wanting anything more#and like i dont think i deserve anything 'extra'. anything beyond the necessities because i cant earn it#i cant pay for it myself. so i just dont really think about the things that i want but dont need that much#another thing that would probably drive a lot of people insane is that i dont have any irl friends and dont really leave my house#except for shopping. which is anywhere between once a week and once a month#i have no job- that alone is distressing for a lot of people. unemployment can be very hard on people's mental health#and i mean evidently it is hard on mine as well. but i dont know any alternatives#people like to feel needed. they like to feel like they have a purpose#people going through unemployment often find that they have all this time suddenly but they dont know how to fill it up#all the things they had fantasized about doing are suddenly not that fun because they are the only option#anyways. rant over idk where i was going with this#i think im in desperate need of validation perhaps and im trying my best not to make this about pain olympics#or some weird type of bragging. thats not my intention
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I think I'm falling in love
#my best friend jack and i have been drifting closer and closer over the past few months#and on Monday night after work we met up at wingstop and ate there and sat for a bit#and then we left right before they closed and then stood in the parking lot hugging for over two hours#just hugging and swaying and talking#and we agreed that we're on the same page and that we're both into each other romantically#but he just got out of a relationship with a rocky break up and another ex is being a crazy bitch at the moment#so we agreed we're both ready for and we're not going anywhere but we cant start anything yet#and then i was like we both close tomorrow night we should hang out again#and he was like well we can watch a movie at my place and you can sleep on the couch#spoiler alert: we slept in his bed snuggled up together#and out pact to take it slow fizzled out real quick when we discovered how much fun it is to kiss each other#cut to friday night#were both closing at work but hes out like two hours later than me#we text literally non stop#im going to a wawa to get air in my tires and he asks which wawa#he gets to leave work early bc he was done and comes and meets me at the wawa#where we proceed to stand in the parking lot hugging for another hour at least#occasionally kissing#but now this week hes working literally night shifts all week#2230-0700#but saturday he picked up a shift where i work and its the same out time as me#and were gonna go to his place and hang out after again#and im literally so excited just to spend more time with him#he and i match each other's energy so well its crazy#in my head ive started calling him my boyfriend but i cant do that yet even at work#bc he used to work where i work and everyone there is nosy as fuck#and they def will notice if i get a bf out of the blue and also i smile stupid big whenever someone mentions jack#anyway carrie this is me telling you but you can literally not tell anyone else istg#if i hear from mom and dad that you said something......#personal
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oh so actually he knew what he did was wrong because he complained about the same thing happening to him recently AND identified the correct course of action about the situation! so you chose to do this to me knowing it was wrong to do to someone. awesome. any trace of any past respect for you is gone and if my friends ask me i will simply tell them the truth
#to have the fucking audacity#to complain about behavior you so eagerly dish to others#this is a real vague because wow dude scum ass move#i helped you. i had nothing and i was the ONLY one who helped. fuck you for real#keep the fucking change. i cared then. you're not coming back anywhere close to me.#not even MENTIONING that it outright lied to me before this anyways. you really did not care#entire reconnect was a fucking farce from you. thanks.#your public thoughts are very revealing to just how much you lied to me#not even the decency of saying you just didnt want to reconnect when i would have been the most understanding guy in the universe about it.#were you just playing with me. was i a toy. did you have fun#its not like i can ask. someone else shut down that avenue. I wonder who#im not going on some campaign of revenge or whatever. im leaving it here. bye. at least I know you both never cared now#phlyaros' nonsense
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coming on here just to teehee over an encounter today bc im too embarrassed to on my main account DBFJDKL but ... I'll call this guy Jay, he's a very chill nice guy and he goes to the centre that i go to (mental health activity centre lol) and i think he's in his late 30s? last week he had a pair of pants that he bought but didn't fit him and he couldn't return them bc it was from a store out of town that the centre had gone to on a day trip, so he offered to give them to me maybe bc they might fit me. and i took them and they're SUCH nice pants, i unfortunately dont have any money to give him and feel a little bad abt that but he didnt ask for any so fhdksl nice new pants for me i guess
anyways so today I was walking to the centre from the hospital and saw him walking too, so i joined him and we chatted a little as we walked, and i was wearing the pants today and he asked if they fit well and i was like yeah! and he asked if i needed to use a belt or anything on them, and i was like oh haha yeah im wearing one, and he goes "yeah cuz you're so small, huh?" and i said "yeahhh i have to use a belt on most pants i own haha" bc i didnt want him like. thinking the pants didnt fit or smth. and then he goes "aw thats really cute" before moving onto another topic AND I'M... FLUSTERED AT THAT POINT. idk if that was flirting or if I'm just insane but SBDHFJDKSL.... 🧍
#much to my chagrin i do rly like being small and i get flustered so easily when ppl point it out .... 😭😭😭#like i wish i was normal about it but DBDHDKL it's just... I DUNNO. it's been echoing thru my head since that happened SBDHDJDKL WAUGH.#broke my brain a little im not gonna lie 😭😭 i am a MESS#anyways once again. this is never gonna go anywhere but i think its sort of fun to indulge in a little in my brain LOL#the issue w me being attention starved is that it's SOOOO easy to fluster me 😭😭 its embarrassing honestly djdkl its so bad#i was a mess in highschool when there was this girl who loved teasing me omfg i was ready to go crawl into a hole LMFAO#LIKE. CAN I JUST BE COOL. FOR A BIT. PLEASE. AND NOT FALL APART IMMEDIATELY.#anyways. sorry this is an insane post FHFJDKL but i have to share somewhere or I'll keep pacing around thinking abt it LMAO#dandy.cmd
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thalia is so growing on me i love my rich woman who has Problems.. i gave her ice powers for like. the elsa vibes.
#but im like damn... gale...karlach....stay away from her... or else ur gonna explode in the end....#really a coin toss between those two and im gonna be sad at the end but that's the thalia experience 😭😭#also i dont think she's gonna save the tieflings... not bc she's evil but she generally doesn't care... and curing the tadpole is her utmos#priority. like she's already stressed with her chaotic magic killing her if she loses 50/50 now you have to add brain worms on top of that?#funny that shri'iia does more heroic deeds and she's like. the evil aligned chara#but thalia is generally very cold in a sense that she's always looking at the bigger picture and she's willing to sacrifice/disregard#who gets caught in the crossfire.. like that's just another responsibility she has to bear for Her. and she's very the type to sacrifice he#own happiness for her Duty vibe. like i think she's just learned how to be content with whatever she's left with.#also she's her father's heir bc she's the only child to her father's First Wife. and thalia get step siblings along the way but i think tha#grief of losing her mother / becoming an adult/handling adult affairs quickly made her jaded on a lot of stuff#and she feels like it's her responsibility to lead her noble house to higher pastures so her step siblings can live freely#like she's just taking all the work to herself - as the Heir. and that's what she was doing UNTIL she gets the wild magic#now suddenly she feels like she's cursed. and the fact that it's chaotic by nature and so dangerous..!! she can't stay in court or at home#over the fear of harming someone. and she's learnt that to get rid of a problem you always have to go to the root of it#hence why she's travelling around finding more info and source of the wild magic in hopes to cure herself from it#and she kind of put her life on Pause bc she believes she can't get anywhere with this curse. but its like gworl u put ur life on pause lon#before that.. anyway her end goal is that once she cures herself and she's normal again she'll prob marry some other old money heir#set up trusts for her siblings and live a quiet life. but that wont happen obvi hehe#also one of the siblings' name is melpomene... being named from the goddess of comedy thalia is kinda boring lol#essentially her story is like. she learns how to have fun. essentially. depending on how i rp her idk yet actually
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With the new Professor Layton game announcement I may have accidentally started transcribing the series into a website for easy reading and referencing
#chit chat#professor layton#its not hosted anywhere yet since ive barely started and i only got to actually entering the town of mystere#which is 3 cutscenes and 2 puzzles in#4 cutscenes if you include the hd intro addition#anyway this may go on the pile of projects i start but never finish but im having fun at the moment#sucks that i dont know how to dump games rn since there are quite a few missing images that i would love to include in the transcription
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damn I rly have another 4 weeks of holiday this year huh. I should start making some plans
#well maybe more like 3 weeks bc I wanna keep some to use for long weekends or day trips#but thats still kind of a lot..#my problem is i dont wanna take time off just to stay at home bc I do that most weekends. but im not sure I rly wanna go anywhere either#I dont mind travelling but its very much just a function for me. even when im travelling for fun + not bc I Have to it feels no different#Im v independent but I just dont rly have the adventurers spirit. plus im disabled so going new places alone is so stressful sometimes#ugh I dont wanna let my parents catch wind of how much holiday i have tho bc theyll be like come stay with us for a week!#i will Kill Myself no thanks#theyll probs already get christmas with me and thats an ordeal enough#its the expense as well idk how much its worth it. even if i can afford it like that money couldve gone into so many other things#ahhh.#my flatmate did suggest we go somewhere together but i feel like shes gone off that idea.. ik she doesnt get as much holiday anyway#id feel bad eating into it just so she has to spend more time with me even tho we already live together. nightmarish ik#there are maybe some landscapes id like to see but not alone bc id wanna hike but i dont rly have any friends into that kinda hiking#like i cant rly just fuck off into the mountains for a week by myself the risk is stupid#i dont knooooow. maybe ill just do myself a cornwall trip v early or late summer when kids are in school that might be nice#bc its just trains to get there. and ive spent a lot of time alone there before like it wouldnt be as stressful as a New Place entirely#i wanna do a music festival in the summer too but rly id only need 2 days holiday for that. and again i cant rly go alone#so i need to find ppl to convince to come w me#god i feel so lame for not rly wanting to go on proper holidays. but its never felt worth it to me sorry 😭#blame the childhood trauma or whatever#ill stew on it and maybe ill think of something we'll see. ive got a while yet before id need to book stuff anyway#gotta do some more cleaning today but the sooner i can get it done the sooner i can play elden ring 🙏🙏🙏🙏#.diaries
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Greetings, Pekoponians, and welcome to the official web log of the Keroro Platoon, yessir! I'm the amazing and awesome Sergeant Keroro, and I'm sure I could do a better job introducing myself, but I'm just so, so excited to meet you all that I just couldn't wait to open up shop! As your friendly neighborhood alien invaders, we've opened up our "ask box" so you can communicate with your future overlords, yessir! So, please, drop by and say hello, yes, yes!
#sgt frog#keroro gunso#keropost#kerrooo i'm so excited!!!#we'll try to post pictures if we can! don't you want to see our fearsome yet adorable faces?#don't lie i know you do kero :)#me and tamama are excited anyway#i haven't told the others yet but i'm sure they'll have fun too yessir!#thank you tamama for helping me with this social media stuff btw#couldn't have done it without you private <3#-k66#and now a word from our host:#hi guess who it is :)#thats right its gem! from neardaily frogposting! yippee!#ive never run an askblog before so im jus. im doing my best here#i tried to run one once before for my fantroll it never went anywhere#but keroro is an existing character and literally me so i should get at least a little more out of this yippee#im too adhd to organize this properly from the start which is why keroro is the perfect host heehee#anyway im going to bed goodnight. keroro hopes he will have fun asks to answer in the morning :)#sorry i didnt really give you much to work with. just go nuts in the askbox doesnt matter if its silly or simple#uhh okay signing off
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my god. yesterday was a day.
#logbook#we had a tornado watch. wind advisory from 6am to 6pm . . .but it lasted longer lol.#plus between storms overnight a bunch of trees came down and most of the city (widespread city) lost power.#we at work lost power. and we had a delivery come that took an hr and like another half to unload. i didnt even begin to finish checking it#and i ya know. panicked bc i hadnt eaten all day bc no power to heat up food and i was tired and exhausted and stressed.#and i instictively was like. does my sup need to know. and the other admin is like. no.#and im like. oh yeah. yall are just gonna have to count everything and tag it all instead. nad i wont get blamed if its wrong or whatever?#crazy. . .she tried to kindly lecture me on letting things go and i was like. maam. thx. but thats not why it was an instinct response to#all thw bad shit ive dealt with lmao.#im just glad i wont have to work the weekend. even with or without power and all the damage they wont close. have fun guys.#see whatever happens at this nursery is soooooo much better than all the shit ive dealt with at l*wes so like. .im stronger than them in#some regards it seems like LMAO#yeah im a lil embarrassed but also im like. actually no sorry im not going to apologize for panicking bc it'd be genuine anywhere else.#anyways power was out at the house. i didnt eat until like. 6pm augh.#god im so tired. .idk when power came back on but it is.#im alive. . .im so glad for my days off.
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one day ill post my pokemon games + spinoffs tierlist that im slowly chipping away at and have been since, like, june or july . but i dont think people are ready
#aria talkz#tbf 'Scar/Vi was actually pretty good' isnt an unpopular take but its a popular ''controversial''(?????) take.#Yes i know about the bugs and slowdown and memory leaks yes it sucks its still a lot of fun for me#And i love the story ( esp the dlc oh my god ) and how pretty the textures are . I do not care if you dont like it . OK?#that being said the kieran battle had such a massive slowdown for me it was literally going at like 5 fps#it was frustrating but also kind of funny. i am the only person i know who seemed to have that issue tho#+ “hgss isnt that good” is more common nowadays too. But putting scar/vi and like#xy and s/m above it is probably controversial#i am literally a 3d / modern pokemon game defender. except lets go and bdsp fuck those ones.#Like i love the 2d era dont get me wrong but the starts of all of them are pretty slow and without the early global exp share its a slog#my fave 2d game has and always will be bw2 btw and has been since i was a kid. started w diamond/plat/gen 4 and pkmn stadium#rosa is me irl and i constantly imagined myself in my mindscape literally AS her which is funnier realizing i had DID later down the line.#if you squint at aria my oc / sona you can kinda see remnants of rosa#mainly the twintail hair and the pink pokeball shirt.#anyways the backtracking in HGSS at the start is so fucking abysmal and slow it kills all momentum for me#which sucks bc i think i do like hgss despite my constant trashing of it its just so hard to care enough to get past the like first hour#But like modern pokemon games gameplay loop is so much more fun bc its less slow and grindy and i heart it...#Like honestly ? If u just added the QOL to the older games ? Theyd probably be higher than or at the same lvl as the newer games for me#i love BW2. I dont even think hgss sucks ass although there are many questionable decisions in it . Its literally just.#How slow + grindy they are and the fact that theyre older so they dont have the modern games QOL stuff#which mainly means Global exp share like really early or at the start of the game i love pc anywhere too but i dont need it as much.#its also why its hard for me to play pokemon-likes like cassete beasts bc they go off of old pokemon formula . so. grindy. Sucks#Should prob put legends arceus higher on that tierlist too bc im playing it again despite 100%ing the dex#i love love love making oc ''rp'' (??) savefiles in pokemon#and like. giving what mons i catch and how i nickname them thought in context of the oc or canon im playing as#i do it any time im not doing my first playthru of a game. do it w x y a lot bc theyre super easy to restart.#im doing it in legends arceus as well w mocha and thinking ab him and how hed adapt sm. i heart aus.#can you tell im autistic about pokemon .
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yap sesh in the tags ! <3 nothing new im just frustrated abt my disordered sleep schedule as always . woke up at 5 pm and i will probably be failing my All Dayer and going to sleep shortly At 8 am and then sleeping for 1 billion years
#text#it feels like shit all the time bc it affects Everything Else#i dont get to interact with Real People very much . i dont get any sunlight . i feel weak and sick and gross all the time#i often barely eat at all the whole time im awake bc i just dont get hungry#n i cant rlly get up during the night anyways cause i risk gettin in trouble or waking up the dogs n getting them all riled up#more often than not i will eat. just toast or cereal cause i miss dinner and then thats it all the time im awake#oh also i can barely keep track of time anymore ! i noticed this months ago but like#i only know sundays bc i hear my mom wake uo n get ready for church right before i usually go to sleep n thats abt it now lol#it doesnt rlly matter anyways i guess cause theres not Day theres just Time Im Awake For#sometimes very small . sometimes a lot longer than one day#a friend also pointed out that my suicidal thoughts seem to get worse whenever my sleep gets really bad (like once or twice a month lmao)#n those r probably related bc of everything else being worse as well#i feel like im just watching it all happen n i dont have much control over my own body or mind#i always wake up in pain or with a migraine n sometimes i have seizures in my sleep#i just spend 75% of my time lately sitting or laying down in bed doing nothing cause i cant sleep n it sucks#my mom thinks its funny how hyped i get whenever im allowed to Go Anywhere but like thats the only time im Awake For Real . alive 😭#not like we go anywhere fun but like .walmart idk. when i can go is able to pull me out of the wretched hell that is Sitting In Bed Forever#n its been like this for well over a year lol#i ride da walmart high for about 12 or so hours after n then it just goes right back to schmiserable schmiserable sitting in bed forever#my entire world has shrunk to sitting in bed forever#posting now heart emoji . hwello if anyone read this all
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