#anyway it's a problem for tomorrow me not today me
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Oh wow... I think I might eat something rotten
I say as I was chewing on the vaguely green salami
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#ch594#summit war saga#jfc queuing from my phone temporarily bc i havent had internet for TWO WEEKS!!!!!#i still have 2 weeks in the queue but its making me nervous so here i am#goddddddd just so many things falling into the wrong place#like my entire router died. the guy who could have addressed the problem#didnt come the day i reported it but instead waited until after his 5 day vacation#and then it was put off for another day bc he had to catch up on other stuff#then we find out the issue is with the router itself so we had to order a new one#and then when they tried to install it today there were more issues#so now i have to wait until tomorrow and im so fucking mad#well anyway
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I was kinda hyperfocusing on completing some pieces for something, and wanted to come back online only after I finished them, but then I realized I wouldn’t get done nearly in time anyway… So they’re postponed for a later date, who knows when. I’ll take my time. Anyway, I’ll try not to disappear again, especially so soon… ^^;
But yeah, it’s been a while since I posted about Zangetsu, so here is he.
At first, I was just gonna go for a regular sketch. But then I decided to put him in a turtleneck, ‘cause, yeah, that’s what I like drawing, idk what to tell you ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And then I wanted to render it the same way I did for Ichigo and Orihime’s b-day pieces since it’s fun and I like the colors. And then, since I was already drawing him with a turtleneck in that style… at this point, I was kinda making excuses not to draw Zangetsu in the same outfit. So I gave in and did it, eheh. Hey, it’s a really good fit. I should draw it more (1), and I really wanted to see Zangetsu in it (2). So yeah.
Plus, I like trios, and this makes it a set of three, heheh. (Plus maybe, just maybe, this makes up for not finishing anything for him on his birthday ;~; Listen, okay: Ichigo was the priority… I’ll try to do better next year…)
(Also, this may or may not stay a collection of three… but if there are additions, it’ll be sometime in the future, when I get the spontaneous urge again)
#bleach#zangetsu#hichigo#fanart#digital art#digital sketch#will interact tomorrow#was excited to get this done so am gonna sleep now#i really like drawing nose wrinkles#do feel like i need more practice but still fun still fun#also *completely irrelevant* but i’m still (agonizing) thinking about it…:#i mention it every now and then but i run a personal li’l writing club#and the prompt i decided on this week was moodboards (every member creates 3: 1 for a protagonist 1 for a setting and 1 for other details)#(and then you randomly get a moodboard from 3 members)#anyway i ended up getting a fancy fantasy princess-knight protagonist#the problem is…#the second moodboard i got was straight-up bikini bottom…#some members think they’re really funny -.-#(admittedly i found it funny before i found out *i* got it… and admittedly i still find it humorous—enough to relay it here—but i digress)#but my god do i have my work cut out for me…#gotta somehow make a cohesive story by saturday…#anyway that’s all my over-sharing for today eheh
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i emailed my boss saying he needs to talk to the people developing a satellite i’m working on (unpaid) bc they’re giving me too much work and it’s unsustainable please clap
#the whole point of doing this free development for them is to be first in line for money to do the science once it’s launched#but the launch date has been pushed back AGAIN and now it’s getting launched after my contract ends#so if i don’t get my own funding to stay at this research institute i’ll be gone before science funding for this satellite comes through#and all this free work will be for nothing#except the vague nebulous statement on my cv that i’ve worked on satellite development#anyway this project is flat broke so i doubt they’ll pay me to do the work they want#so maybe no one will do the work? not my problem frankly#anyway i told them today that i won’t be able to do work on this satellite for the next three weeks bc i have two conferences#and a paper revision deadline within the next 3 weeks that will take all my time#and they asked me to do HOURS of work TOMORROW#so that is apparently my breaking point#and they clearly don’t listen to me when i say im overloaded so maybe they will listen to my boss
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I have never been so excited to have someone stab my ribs for an hour or so. <3
#x. talk#this is both a positive and negative statement ( mostly positive. doing my best to not let things ruin today or tomorrow <3 )#my family's problems cannot hurt me in 4 hours I'll have gustave with me for eternity :) ( had a 2.5 hour meltdown and am just getting out#everyone thank vera ( my house rooster ) for helping me not implode#anyways. curling up in gus's lap and melting our flesh together. this is normal and a good thing.
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sent a guy a letter on slowly and he responded calling me "querido" and telling me his number saying he's making a gc with his slowly friends. no bitch we here to send letters. write the fucking letter. lazy ass
#if i wanted to text you id be in some other social media im here because i dont do texting. texting kills the soul#he wrote me a bigass introduction letter being all polite and cool and asking me a bunch of things#i wrote him 800 words back being all lovely and interesting and shit#and then he hits me with that bullshit. no. nope.#1st of all we not even friends. i sent you 01 (one) letter#ive had slowly friends that exchanged dozens and dozens of beautiful lengthy letters w me and we still dont got each other's numbers#dont get ahead of yourself#2nd of all. i wrote him a huge paragraph explaining why i like slowly more than any other way of meeting people online#did he just straight up not read it#kind of possible he might be a bot and im getting mad about nothing tho. killing myself about it. i miss the olden days#slowly used to work#anyway that was today's episode of me getting mad about unimportant things and making it Your 🫵 problem#come back tomorrow for more
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#today my grandparents were over#and my grandma mentioned that my cousin's best friend and his long-time boyfriend are getting married tomorrow#and my grandpa started talking about it with my mom#and what he said was 'you know i don't have any problem with that.#i've never met a person like that who wasn't perfectly nice. they're great people.'#and my mom said something like 'yeah and that's just the way of the world now'#and grandpa said 'well actually that's always been the way it's just now they're able to be open about it'#in such a pleasant proud way#like he was just genuinely happy that queer people are able to be open and be themselves#and i nearly broke down crying#because i've always been too afraid to ask#but it is a relief to know he wouldn't hate me if i ever got up the nerve to tell him i'm bi#anyway#personal#also#in case it matters#this man is 91 years old#and i'm very happy to know this is the way he thinks
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my kingdom for the fortitude to respond to the things i really, really need to respond to this weekend. or tomorrow. tomorrow would be nice.
it's not a big kingdom and u can't have the cats, but. yaknow.
#like iykyk hfladkjfadlsk ONE PERSON SPECIFICALLY i'm sure u know who you are ily i'm sorry i'm such a dick#trying really hard to pull my head out of my ass and function this weekend but i have been so chaotic for.... months.#and it's not really better but i think my uh guilt complex has finally kicked into solve problems drive#so.#for whatever that's worth. problem for tomorrow me 'cause today me is already like six hours past when she should have slept.#anyway not looking at your email or your notifications in... lots of places? not great. and then forgetting about them consistently worse.#this is the part in the game where i would give up and start over but. yaknow.#'you can always start over!'#sure u can bud.#sure you can.
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Lying awake at night thinking about the fact that we never got to see Antoine's lore. I want to know more about him, and what the deal was between him / The Federation / Cucurucho.
#i talk#qsmp talk#My insomnia is EXTREMELY bad today this is a new low good lord#Wound up working on the Pac Figma a bit more and admittedly that probably didn't help#But at least I'm chipping away at it#I still have a lot of issues with the design but eh. I'm gonna have to make some allowances for it#It won't be perfect because Good Smile doesn't make Figma parts that look like his design#And there's only so much I can build from the ground up#Been tweaking his hair and hoodie a lot#Wound up cutting the bottom of the hoodie open again and reshaped it since I didn't like how wide it was at the bottom#Let's see how it goes this time#I think I'll do a bit more spray painting tomorrow since that always makes me feel better#Hard to know how good a thing looks when it's all mismatched pieces with different colors#when the hoodie was spraypainted blue I felt better about it (even though I added more shaping / clay to it later and now it's ugly)#so I'll have to spraypaint that again since it needed another coat anyways#but that's a problem for another day
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Finished Christmas shopping without buying one more book for me, success
#I just can't go in a bookstore and not buy a book for me lmao#i did buy one the other day#and today the first book of a long ass fantasy series was tempting me#i reminded myself that i wasn't here for myself lmao#but anyway is Steven Erikson's Malazean (what's the English name?) series any good???#because next time i set a foot in a library i might buy it#since ive been back on reading I've been limiting myself to trilogies#except for like the chronicles of st mary's#but it's like created specifically for me#but now i feel the need to come back to my roots#except I don't want good vs evil fantasy for 12 books#so yeah...#but I've heard it's a good series#anyway#also i've bought an expensive chocolate box that need to survive me till Wednesday#problem is nobody know i bought it so i could eat it without them knowing#buying food as a gift is always a dangerous move with me djdjsnsnsnsnz#anyway i just need to pack my stuff so tomorrow after work I run to the train station
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#in an okay mood that threatens to explode if I think too much#so ignoring that 😃#today wasn’t bad but I should’ve pushed myself to go to a cafe#gonna get dinner out and then I have two night plans so it’s something#then Thursday’s are always good#miscellaneous#basically I’ve been able to put all bad thoughts on hold because of the holidays but I fear for January …#anyway that’s a therapist problem tomorrow#I’ve at least had a new obsession to grip me which I’ll take too#hopefully though maybe? I can get a bit of writing done tonight after my critique group#tbd#anyway now I’m rambling. its chilly here by the door at my gym
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#@ me please just do the one task you have left to do today so you can enjoy your evening#and stop being afeared#anyway I love directing a choir but I hate being in charge of the admin I am so bad at it#if only I could beam into everyone's minds when to meet for practice#but I can't so um girlie if you don't tell anyone there's going to be practice tomorrow evening its not going to happen#I guess I am worried that if I announce it there's going to be a secret reason why it cannot be so#and then I will look like even more of a disaster#with the track record we've had it doesn't feel that unrealistic is the problem#I keep being gone every weekend and the past few practices I have been able to hold have been miserably attended#due to conflicts that were a surprise to me#because no one can communicate around here I guess#my other simple task of printing music today already went awry#when the girl misunderstood me at the ups store and printed wayyyy too many copies#shoulda been a karen but I was too scared so I just said thanks and paid THIRTY DOLLARS and took my huge stack of paper and left#aasdfghjkllkjhghjkjh that's not what I asked for!!!!!! but I'm just eating that extra twenty I guess#last time we met we didn't even sing bc there was like 4 people and we just made a schedule for the rest of the year#decided evening practice might be better#but only those four people are currently aware of that plan#and I have procrastinated trying to get the word out because I'm Scared for some reason#like it's literally not that serious but yikes yikes yikes#what I need is like. an assistant with good organizational skills#I can do the music. I can run the practices. I can even bring snacks#but for some reason I just cannot get it together
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#love that my body decided to incapacitate me the weekend before i have to read 5 different papers for classes#and it would b one thing to just read them but no for 3 of them i have to give detailed interpretation and 1 i have to present on#ive already failed to read one bc i forgot we had to do 2 papers for monday. oops. not that i could have done it anyway. i barely got 1 done#and im on track to fucking up the one due Tomorrow as well#im just fucking tired of reading fucking chemistry driven papers that i dont understand no matter how many times i read them#and everyones like oh itll get easier but no it fucking wont bc i cant fucking read right#its so fucking frustrating. why do i even bother? im so tried#i don't even have the paper im supposed to present on so ill have to do it all tomorrow. cool. great. not that i could do it today anyway#im just. this is gonna b a difficult week#and i misused my whole day by doing extractions bc i scheduled my training a week ago when i thought i would b fine over the weekend#nope. its fucking bullshit. this is y im like. y do i even want to b in academia?#how could i b a prof if i cant read well? its fine to b dyslexic as a math person but im like i have to read so much and so little gets thru#but then what the fuck else am i supposed to do? idk. im just gonna write down something for all these questions and go tf to sleep#ill get up at some horrible time in the morning to finish this. damn the consequences. ill see my therapist tomorrow anyway#and meet with my advisor like 🤪 yo guess what i made zero progress this week#sorry u got stuck with me while im going thru a year of fucking health problems#but whatever cant get rid of me now im already here. here and tired and i wanna go to bed#unrelated
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Drawing telepathically bc I fucked up my back and can’t sit at a desk for more than ten minutes without wanting to Die
#I’m drawing in spirit…in my brain…#Anyway yeah idk what I did but it hurts SO bad.#I must’ve had a weird posture or SMTH bc I am in paaainnn#I’ve been doing stretches and even borrowed my mom’s back massager but GOD.#Me face down on my bed: Have mercy#I need to take Advil lmao#Shima speaks#I’ve been itching to do some OC redesigns for DAYS but something always gets in the way#Today: Back problems. Tomorrow: Who knows!!
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The universe loves me
#i can get the a i need for my online class after all!!!!!!#eeeeeeeeeeeeee#i just have to do 2 things and I'm gonna get the a#then I'll get my full amount of funds instead of half#I'm so excited#i mean first i have to do things for my in person class for that a but that one is super easy#this is such a gift and i don't know what deity did this#i don't worship any luck deities or ones associated with money or fortune or knowledge so idk#like all of mine are chaos and revelry and trickery other than one#but that one is like motherhood and stuff and i worship her to get the comfort of a divine mother#anyway whatever deity decided to blast my ass with fortune i love you#also i got what i needed to up my financial aid for the upcoming school year so double fortune#I'm vibrating with excitement#i may not be getting anywhere in my job search but my bank account won't be negative and I'll have the grades i wanted#life is beautiful today#i also got my doctor to switch me to gel for my t so i won't have a bad reaction hopefully and i see the gastroenterologist tomorrow#i'll get the swallowing problem dealt with soon even if i have to get a camera shoved down my throat again#and my college is doing a free tuition thing that while i don't think i qualify for will still be really good for other people who need it#and my dad leaves town for 2 weeks in the morning#I've just had a ton of good things happen in a row#also i got to see the living tombstone on Saturday and i swear that fixed the funk i was in from what i had to do last week#and i learned sweet tea doesn't taste like pure sugar so it's actually decent#damn I'm feeling good#anyway happy rant over#go be gremlins#and as always#drink water you heathens
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went on a walk to the nearby park and ngl i think this can fix me
#i spent half of yesterday with this one girl to make her feel better#and today when i got upset after a lecture she just straight up said the same shit all those people keep saying#'but you will pass this. only the rest of us won't'#well i wish#of course i want to pass and will do my best to do that#but when i stressed over the exam hearing that of course me out of all of is won't have a problem with that is the last thing i wanna hear#it's the same thing all over again :c#1. of course you're gonna pass and then it's either#1a. i pass: oh of course. i told you you would. why were you even so stressed about it#1b. i fail: oh no what happened but you always had top scores#when what i'd like to hear is more like#1. shit's hard we're all gonna try and we'll see how it goes#and then either 'yay nice' or 'oh no fuck that exam and that guy'#because wine it's happens to them it's always the latter so why i can't have it the same way i hate it here#anyway#i left ny bag at home and went to the park#lowkey feeling bad because in wasting time and there's exam tomorrow#but it's really soul soothing being here#i might need to start doing it more often
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