#today wasn’t bad but I should’ve pushed myself to go to a cafe

[lordsardine]

.

[helliontherapscallion]

(Y/n) and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week: Wednesday

Monday     Tuesday     Thursday (Part 1)     Thursday (Part 2)     Friday     Saturday     Sunday

Spotify Playlist (collaborative)

Warnings: panic attacks, swearing, getting outed, f slur and d slur, homophobia, puking, toxic friends

Word count: 5,160

(A/N): woah, thank you all so much for all the positive feedback, that really makes my day! 

The room was quiet with the exception of the clacking of the keyboard and the soft chirping of crickets outside your open window. The stars twinkled in the sky as the night droned on and on. There was a loud rustling outside your window, but your sleep deprived mind didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t important at the moment, the only important thing right now was finishing your work. 

Throughout the night, you worked endlessly on your friend’s work. The essays were relatively easy because Adrian and Annie had luckily chosen topics that you’re somewhat interested in, so at least finding the sources was enjoyable. You had gotten your essay completely written and proofread, Annie’s outline finished, and Adrian’s sources analyzed. You would start on Sammy’s presentation after you finished Adrian’s outline. Hours upon hours passed by you as you worked, yet you didn’t notice the time once. You worked uninterrupted with no breaks. Well, one break to talk to your dad about how you weren’t hungry, but you got back to work right after he left your room. You couldn’t waste any more time than you already have.

Your eyes felt heavy as you typed on your keyboard, working on putting Adrian’s sources together cohesively so that the writing would flow seamlessly. You paused your typing to rub at your tired eyes so you could keep working, you couldn’t afford to fall asleep. You had to get these done as soon as possible if you wanted their forgiveness. 

The blaring of your alarm startled you out of your focus, making you fall backwards out of your chair with a yelp. Landing painfully on your back, you laid on the floor trying to calm your racing heartbeat. You looked out your window. Hints of pinks and yellows were starting to make a gradient with the lightening dawn sky. Shit, you were so focused on getting your work done that you didn’t take account of the time. You just knew today was gonna be long. At least after school volleyball practice was shortened because of finals tomorrow. 

You groaned as you pulled your tired form off from the ground. You made your way downstairs and plopped yourself down at your usual place at the table, burying your face into the crook of your arm. You felt yourself drift off into a blissful sleep, the wood of the table suddenly seemed very comfortable at the moment. Not long after, you were jolted out of your peaceful sleep by a loud crash. Jumping up and looking around with wide eyes, you saw Tubbo looking at you apologetically. There was broken glass in front of his feet on the floor. 

“Sorry, (y/n).”

You just stared at him blankly as you slowly blinked. Philza didn’t spare you a glance as he whisked the short boy away from the glass. “(Y/n), can you please go get the broom and sweep this up?”

You nodded, hauling yourself to your feet and walked over to the storage closet, pulling out the broom and dust pan. You mindlessly sweeped up the glass, your limbs feeling heavy. After throwing the glass away, you rummaged in the cupboard and pulled out a mug. The bitter smell beckoned you welcomingly, working its way through your nostrils and digging itself deep into your brain. Just as you were about to pour yourself a cup, a hand snatched the coffee pot away from you. 

“You shouldn’t be drinking this.”

“You let Techno and Wil drink it, so why can’t I?”

“(Y/n), you’re a full year younger than them and you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast yesterday.”

You felt your eye twitch, “I’m only a year younger than them! There’s literally no-”

“(Y/n),” his warning tone cut you off, putting the pot back into the coffee maker, “you aren’t going to drink this. That’s final. Get a glass of water.”

You huffed and pushed past him to the sink to fill your coffee mug with water. You’ve been drinking coffee for a while behind his back, so you were used to its effects on your body. You supposed that you’d just beg Wilbur to take you to the cafe so you could get your sustenance. He always relented for you. 

You heard him chuckle, “you’ll thank me when you’re older.”

“Mhm.”

You plopped down next to Tubbo nursing your mug of water, trying to make small talk with him. One by one, your brothers made their way to the table. Tommy was talking and gesturing wildly to Tubbo like he normally did, Wilbur looked as dead inside as you felt, and Techno made it a point to ignore you. When someone pissed him off, he can hold a grudge better than he could hold onto his knowledge of Greek mythology, and that’s saying something. Man is obsessed with Greek mythology. 

Breakfast went by in a daze with you struggling to keep your eyes open. At one point, you almost fell asleep sitting up, only to be woken up by Tubbo shaking your shoulder to get your attention. When breakfast was almost done, you had only eaten about half your breakfast. 

Drifting off again, you were startled awake by the screeching of the chairs against the wooden floor and loud shouts coming from your brothers. You didn’t have the energy to race them to the bathroom like you usually did, you’d just freshen up after they were done. You tried to stand up to go to your room to get dressed, but you were stopped by a hand on your shoulder forcing you to sit back down. Looking up, you were met with the concerned, yet stern eyes of your father. 

“You’re not leaving this table until you’ve eaten at least a few more bites and tell me why you’re so tired.”

“I just stayed up later than I normally do finishing up some homework, it won’t happen again.”

“It better not or else I will make you stay home next time. When’d you go to bed last night?”

You avoided his eyes, “around one thirty or two.” You couldn’t tell him that you didn’t actually go to sleep last night, he’d flip. 

“You know, you’re a terrible liar.” Shit.

Looking him in the eye, you spoke more confidently. “Three in the morning.”

“(Y/n)-”

You felt a sudden rage start to twist inside you as he started to lecture you about taking better care of yourself. He was treating you like a child and you were not having it. 

“-young kids like you need to- are you even listening?”

You set your jaw and willed yourself not to explode at him. “Dad, I’m not a child. I know how to take care of myself.”

You saw him narrow his eyes and purse his lips in frustration, “well, obviously you don’t if you’re not eating or sleeping well,” his eyes softened. “I’m starting to worry about you.”

“Well, you shouldn’t because I’m fine,” you snapped at him. “I’m going to get ready.”

You stalked out of the room and stomped upstairs. Passing a shocked Tommy and Tubbo, you made your way into the bathroom to get ready. The person that stared back at you in the mirror looked pale and had dark eye bags accentuating her tired eyes. She had red pimples dotting her face more than she usually did. She was ugly, revolting. The girl you remembered her being was confident in her appearance and walked with an air of importance. Now, she was a decrepit thing that was run down and scared of her own shadow. You couldn’t recognize the girl that stared back at you anymore. You should’ve been able to;  after all, she was you and you were her.

You rushed through your morning routine in the bathroom avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror. You opened the bathroom door only to be met with Wilbur’s chest, his hand poised in the air in a closed fist ready to knock on the door. He stepped back.

“We’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry up.”

You glanced at the clock on the wall. “Wil, we still have twenty minutes before school starts. We don’t have to leave for another ten minutes.”

He gave you a smirk, “well, you want coffee, don’t you? You look dead.”

“Oh thank god. I feel dead, I didn’t sleep at all last night.”

“When’d you go to bed?”

“I didn’t.”

“Christ, (y/n) I knew you were a dumbass, but not that much of a dumbass.”

You rolled your eyes, walking around him and into your room. You felt a stab of hurt in your heart. “Fuck you.”

Before you could close the door, he shouted out a cheeky “love ya too (y/n)!”

You took off all your clothes slowly and stood in front of your open closet deciding on what you should wear today. You figured that since you felt like absolute shit, you should probably put a little bit more effort into your appearance. Picking out your favorite flannel shirt and favorite pair of pants. Smiling at yourself in the mirror in your room, you felt slightly more confident in your appearance. You felt like you could walk around the hallways at school without as many peering eyes trying to figure out your every secret. But maybe that was just the sleep deprivation talking. You tend to be more impulsive and emotional when you’re sleep deprived.

You slung the backpack onto your back with less difficulty than in the previous days. Your back was healing faster than you thought it would. Now, it barely hurt and the swelling completely went away.

You went downstairs and slunk past the kitchen where Philza was talking to Tommy and Tubbo. You didn’t want them to notice you, you felt somewhat guilty for snapping at your dad. You slipped through the front door and hopped into the passenger seat next to Wilbur. You three usually rotated seats counterclockwise and took turns driving each day. Now, you were just waiting for Techno.  

“Well, you look less homeless today.”

“Thanks Wilbur, I just felt like looking a little nicer than usual.”

“Who’re ya dressing up for? Is it Adrian?” He asked with slight disgust. He hated Adrian almost as much as he hated Annie and Sammy. He thought he was nothing more than a fuckboy looking to get into your pants. Little did he know you were secretly a raging lesbian so deep in the closet that you’re froliking with Aslan through the flowerfields of Narnia.

“Wilbur, I’m gay why would I-” you froze, cursing your sleep deprived self for lacking a filter. Your breath caught in your throat and you felt anxiety start to seep into your veins and pump around your body, filling every single nook and cranny with dread. You could feel tears welling in your eyes as you stared at your shaking hands horrified at yourself. How could you just… just out yourself like that? How could you be so careless? So stupid?

You barely felt it when Wilbur reached over to press a gentle hand on your arm. “(Y/n), are yo-”

“I-tha-that was a joke, I’m not gay, I’m straight.” Your words came out in frantic jumbles, desperately trying to fix your slip up. Oh god, you really fucked up this time.

“(Y/n), brea-”

“I swear I’m not gay, I like men, I do. I-”

“(Y/n), breathe with me.” Wilbur’s firm, yet gentle voice demanded. He placed your hand on his chest and took in a deep breath, held it, and released it slowly. You tried your best to follow him, but after about ten minutes, you were slowly but surely calming down. It was a lot faster calming down from a panic attack when you had someone helping you breathe. You’ve never gotten help with a panic attack before, it was nice. Becoming more aware of your surroundings, you took notice of the soft fabric of Wilbur’s sweater, the gentle thumping of his heart, and his worried expression. You also became aware of the extra hand rubbing small circles into your shoulder from behind your seat. It was Techno.

Taking in a shaky breath, you took your hand out of Wilbur’s grip and clasped your hands tightly in front of you, shrugging Techno’s hand off from your shoulder. 

“...Can we please leave? I don’t want Dad or Tubbo and Tommy seeing me like this.”

Wordlessly, Wilbur started up the car and pulled out of the driveway. At the intersection, he turned in the opposite direction of the school. “Wilbur, where are we going? The school’s the other way.”

“We’re going to the cafe for some coffee, my treat.”

“But school starts in five minutes, we’re gonna be late if we go to the cafe.”

“Actually,” Techno’s deep voice chimed in, “school started ten minutes ago. If we’re already late, there’s no harm in skipping first block.”

“Tech, I literally have no idea what’s going on in stats.”

“I’ll give you my notes.”

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t want to bother you.”

Wilbur pulled into the cafe’s parking lot, “don’t be stupid, (y/n). You can never bother us.”

You didn’t say anything as you left the car and headed into the cafe. You could think of plenty of ways you could bother your older brothers. You bothered everybody just by being in their presence. You just had that effect. 

Your brothers followed you into the cafe, glancing at each other worriedly. You three quickly got your orders and sat in the secluded back of the cafe. Soft jazz music drifted throughout the quiet cafe. 

“(Y/n), we need to talk about what happened. Was this your first panic attack?” Wilbur asked you gently.

“...No, I’ve had them before.” 

“Were they always this intense? You’re still shaking.”

“That one was nowhere near as intense as the ones I usually have.’

“Usually? Do you have them often?” Tecno asked.

“Yeah, usually a couple of them a week since the middle of freshman year. Nothing I can’t manage.”

“So you’ve been doing this on your own for three years? You could’ve gotten us to help you.” 

You sighed, looking down at your steaming cup. “...I couldn’t’ve. Don’t get me wrong, I know you guys could help me, but I-I just couldn’t. No one was supposed to find out.”

“Promise us that you’ll come to one of us when you have an attack. We care about you, (y/n).”

“I… I’ll think about it. Thank you.”

The table fell into a comfortable silence as you all sipped at your drinks, the comforting taste of the bitter coffee dancing across your tongue.

“Ya know, we don’t care that you’re gay. A lesbian called me ‘actually pretty funny’ once and I’m still riding the high.” 

“Yeah, you’re still you. Nothing changes the fact that you’re our little sister.” 

You smiled as you felt warm inside. You knew your brothers loved you, but you didn’t know that they loved you for being you. You didn’t think anybody loved you unconditionally like that, and that made you feel genuinely happy.

“Thank you guys, for everything. I-I can’t put into words how much that means to me, I love you guys so much!”

“We love you too,” Wilbur smiled before he dropped it into a stern frown. “But if any girl hurts you, we’ll have a stern talking to her.”

“Yeah, we can’t beat up girls. We’ll put her in her place alright.” You snorted into your coffee, almost spilling it on yourself. Quickly setting it down before you could baptize yourself with the scalding liquid (though, you did consider coffee to be holy), you wiped at your teary eyes. 

“And that’s why I love you guys.”

“We’re serious, she’ll be wishing she got beat up after we’re done scolding her.” Wilbur said seriously before he broke into a grin and started laughing. 

The conversation carried on about your sexuality, how you found out, when you found out, if you’ve told anyone yet (they were honored that they were the first people you’ve told, even if you did it accidentally mid-panic attack). Eventually you had to go back to the school before your second block started. You three split ways to your separate classrooms. 

Annie and Adrian were locked onto you as soon as you walked through the door. They looked angry at you. What’d you do this time to piss them off?

“Where the fuck were you this morning? We were looking everywhere for you,” Annie seethed.

“Yeah, you wasted so much of our time looking for your sorry ass. You ditch us again?”

Oh, that. “Look, I didn’t mean to skip out on you guys again. It was a rough morning.” 

“That’s funny because we also had rough mornings, yet we still hung out with each other. You aren’t special.” Adrian rolled his eyes at you.

“It’s gonna take more to apologize. We don’t let things like the little stunts you pull go off scott free.”

“Oh, Annie I have the best idea,” Adrian squealed, bouncing on the balls of his feet excitedly. 

“What is it Dri?” Annie’s eyes shone.

“Our little (y/n) can set you up with one of her brothers and she can go on a date with me on a double date! It’s foolproof, not even someone as dumb as (y/n) could fuck it up.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good id-”

“It’s perfect Dri! Can it be with Wilbur? He’s literally so hot! Oh, the way his fingers can work that guitar…” Ew. The thought of Wilbur and Annie together made you scrunch up your nose with disgust.

“I’m sorry, but Wilbur’s actually dating Sally Fishmin right now. They’re actually really cute together-”

“God, how could someone as hot as Wilbur go for Sally Fishmin? She’s disgusting, always smells like fish,” Annie gagged, then gasped. “Wait (y/n) do you actually think that she’s more deserving to be with him than I am?”

“No, I nev-”

“Really? Cuz you just did. Glad to see you care about me, (y/n).”

“Annie, you’re literally so beautiful. I never said that you don’t deserve him. You deserve the world. I can’t split them up, but I can do more homework for you.” She perked up immediately, “awe, thanks love! That’s what happens when you actually put effort into how you look.”

“Speaking of, did you get that shirt out of the trash? It’s really not a look.” Adrian snickered to himself. There goes what little confidence you had. You actually thought you looked decent today. You felt grateful for your friends, they always told you the truth about how you looked when everybody else lied to you. 

Before you could respond, the bell rang and everybody took their seats. Luckily, Mr. Todd assigned today as a work day for your final research essays. You had finished Annie’s and got Adrian’s thesis done before the bell rang. While you were working on their essays, they were mindlessly scrolling on their phones and texting someone. 

You, Adrian, and Annie met up with Sammy and went into the lunch room. You tried to line up in the lunch line with them, but they laughed and told you that you’re fat enough and you needed to lose weight. What did you do to deserve such considerate friends? You really owed them one for always looking out for and putting up with you.

While you were waiting for them, you pulled out your phone. To your surprise, Haley texted you a screenshot of her conversation with Unknown. You felt a chill run down your spine. All four pictures were of you. You rubbing your eyes as the light of your computer provided the only light in the room. Your bare back facing the camera as you stood in front of your closet this morning. You sleeping a day ago (you felt sick as you realized that whoever took the picture was standing directly over your bed). Lastly, you and Haley holding each other’s hand under the moonlight last night. Attached to the pictures, Unknown had typed “you have one more day or else sleeping ugly gets it. Do not tempt us.”

Hales : )

(Y/n), how the hell did they get these pictures of you

Did you seriously leave your window open???

Why wouldn’t you close your curtains

Oh god, do you think they saw us in your driveway????

(Y/n)

Haley calm down 

Hales : )

I know you’re not telling me to calm down right now

You have a stalker

One that can GET INSIDE YOUR ROOM

(Y/n)

We’ll get to the bottom of this

Like I said, I don’t care if my pictures get leaked

I care about your pictures

Until we figure out who’s doing this, we need to lay low

Hales : )

Hanging out last night was a mistake

I shouldn’t have gave you a ride

I shouldn’t have tried to kiss you

I’m straight

And you are too

You said it yourself

We can’t talk anymore (y/n)

(Y/n)

I’m not straight Hales

I’m gay

And I like you

Like

Like you like you

Hales : )

I’m sorry (y/n)

But I’m straight

We can’t talk anymore

Goodbye.

With each text she sent you, you felt your heart drop deeper and deeper into your stomach until you felt your heart shatter in your chest, the pieces lodging themselves deep within you and ripping you open from inside out. How could you be so stupid to think that soemone as perfect as Haley Andrews, arguably the prettiest girl in the senior year, go out with (y/n) Minecraft, a known trainwreck. Annie’s shrill gasp sounded right next to your ear, making you gasp and drop your phone onto the table with a loud bang.

“OH MY GOD (Y/N) YOU’RE A FAGGOT? WERE YOU HITTING ON ME EARLIER? YOU FUCKING PERVERT.”

The entire cafeteria fell into silence as they listened to Annie’s shrieking. Whispers started to meld together.

“(Y/n)’s gay?”

“How gross”

“Damn, I was gonna hit it”

“We have a dyke going to this school?”

You felt like you were suffocating as the whispers and Annie’s yelling jumbled together in a disorienting cacophony. Adrian and Sammy both glared at you from behind Annie with a hatred that you didn’t know they had for you. You tried stuttering an apology, but you were quickly shut up by Annie harshly slapping you across the face.

“I don’t wanna hear it, fag. You’re going to finish our essays and you’re never gonna talk to us again. Do you understand me?” When you didn’t respond, she slapped you again. “I asked you, do you understand me?” 

You frantically nodded your head, grabbed your backpack, and sprinted out the door without any real destination in mind. You sprinted before you found the bathroom that nobody used. Ducking into a stall and slamming the door, you felt yourself start to hyperventilate. You couldn’t feel anything except for the tightness of your chest. You couldn’t see anything. You couldn’t hear anything. You faintly tasted bile rising up in your throat as you bent over to empty your stomach. You threw up everything in your stomach until you were left sitting on the dirty floor painfully dry heaving. 

You sobbed on that floor for what felt like hours. Everybody knows your secret now. Your dirty, dirty secret. God, you were a pervert weren’t you? You made people around you comfortable by just being you. Faintly, you felt your phone start to buzz in your pocket, your shaky hands scrambling to fish it out. They were all texts from your brothers.

Wilby

(Y/n) I heard what happened

Are you okay????

Please answer me

Where are you

Technology Sword

I’m gonna kill them

I swear to god they’re dead

Blood for the blood god

(Y/n)

Pls dont do anything or hurt anyone

I’m fine

I’ll see you two after practice

Wilby

Tell us where you are

(Y/n)

I’m fine

I’ll see you two after practice

You silenced your phone and put it back into your pocket, once again feeling yourself start to dry heave again. Your sobs and gags echoed throughout the bathroom. This is by far the worst panic attack you’ve had yet, and it doesn’t seem like it’s gonna stop anytime soon. You heard the final bell ring and students start to rush to their lockers to get home, so you tried to muffle your shaking sobs the best you could. You had at least an hour before you had to go to volleyball practice. Until then, you would stay in the bathroom trying to ground yourself. 

Luckily, you managed to calm down to the point where you stopped crying and dry heaving. You were only shaking slightly. You felt numb and completely drained from your panic attack, practice today was going to be a struggle. You cautiously walked through the empty hallways jumping at every little noise. When you finally reached the locker room, you made a beeline past Zara and Jazzy to your locker. You pulled out your uniform and changed in one of the bathroom stalls.

Practice went by with the girls on the team giving you sympathetic looks and Haley ignoring you. Not that you noticed, you were ignoring everyone and putting all of your focus on the ball. The entire practice, you felt light headed and drained. Fortunately, practice ended right as you felt like you were going to pass out.

You changed as fast as you could and pulled out your phone.

Dadza

Come outside, I’m here to pick you up

You felt a dread pool in your stomach as you stared at the text. Did he find out? Was he going to kick you out for being gay? Wilbur and Techno wouldn’t let him do that to you, right? Reluctantly, you left the sanctuary of the bathroom stall and rushed out of the locker room and out of the school. Sure enough, your dad’s car was parked in the parking lot. You glanced over to where Haley’s car was parked last night and saw glimpses of you and her chasing each other and laughing into the night sky without a care in the world before you ripped your gaze away to stare at your walking feet.

You reached your dad’s car and sat in the passenger seat. Your dad grinned at you. “Hey hun, how was practice?”

You merely shrugged your shoulders at him. You didn’t have the energy to talk to anyone at the moment. You felt extremely drained.

“What’s wrong, did something happen? You can talk to me.”

“...I’m just sad that the season’s over tomorrow.”

“Don’t be sad kid,” a gruff voice coming from behind you made you jump. “That’s pussy shit.”

You yelped and whipped your head around to look at whoever said that. Your uncle’s cocky grin greeted you. You felt yourself grin back at him. 

“Uncle Schlatt!”

“The one and only.”

“How was your business trip? You’re home early.”

He rolled his eyes, “boring as hell. I’m so fucking glad I got out early, I woulda blew my brains out if I had to stay there any longer.”

“Schlatt!” Philza reprimanded him, glancing at him through the rearview mirror.

“What? I’m just telling the truth. I woulda!” He defended himself.

Your dad gripped the steering wheel. “You didn’t have to say it in front of (y/n).”

Schlatt scoffed, “please, she’s heard me say worse.” 

As they bickered, you felt yourself zone out as you looked out the window. Houses and street signs passed by in a blur as the car moved down the road and pulled into your driveway. You got out as quickly as you could and made your way into the house alongside your uncle and dad. As soon as your uncle walked through the door, Tubbo barrelled into him and pulled him into a tight hug. Schlatt laughed loudly and bent over to pick him up into a hug. You smiled at the father and son as Philza gestured for you to follow him into the kitchen. He opened the oven to check on something cooking inside of it and turned to face you, leaning against the counter.

“So what’s really wrong?”

“I already told you, I’m sad the season’s almost over.”

“It’s something more than that,” as you opened your mouth he quickly added, “and you can’t say that it’s because you’re tired. I wasn’t born yesterday.”

You sighed and mimicked his actions. “...It’s just been a long day. I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

Without warning, he pulled you into a warm hug, your face being shoved into his shoulder and him rubbing circles into your back. “That’s okay, just talk to me when you’re ready. I won’t push you.”

That broke you. Throwing your arms around him, you started to sob into his shoulder. He started to rock you back and forth whispering reassurances into your ear. 

“That’s good, let it all out.”

“I love you so much.”

“I’m here for you.”

With each sentence to fall out of his mouth, you felt more at ease and safe. Your dad always did a great job at making people feel safe, that was just his natural talent. After a while, you pulled away from him.

“Do you feel better?”

You smiled tiredly at him, “Yeah, I really needed a hug.”

He turned around to check on dinner, “I bet, you look like you’ve been to hell and back. You don’t have to tell me what happened, but just know that I’m always here for you and I love you.”

The rest of the family flooded the kitchen after a while of you two talking. Dinner went by with Schlatt laughing loudly and telling stories about the people he met on his business trip. Every now and then, Wilbur and Techno would glance at you, but you ignored them. You just wanted dinner to end so you could pass out in your bed. Once dinner was over, you helped your dad gather everybody’s plate and put them into the sink. The rest of your little family went to the living room to start a game of Monopoly. The last time you all played that ended in fresh bruises and shed tears.

“I think I’m gonna go to bed, I have to get some rest for finals tomorrow.”

“But (y/n), it’s Monopoly! You love Monopoly,” Tommy exclaimed.

“That’s alright, you look dead on your feet kid. Go get some sleep.”

“Thanks Uncle Schlatt. Goodnight everyone, love ya.”

A flurry of goodnights and love you’s follow you as you leave the room and drug yourself up the stairs. Without a second thought, you closed your curtains and plopped face first onto your bed. You passed out without even making sure you were fully on your bed.

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[keanureevesisbae]

The alluring charm of Henry Cavill - Chapter 11

Summary: Over a cup of coffee, the two try to clear the air between them, but is Adelaide ready to forgive Henry after what he has done to her?

Henry Cavill x Adelaide Park (ofc)

Wordcount: 3k

Warnings: None

A/N: Today is my birthday, so I decided to bless you guys with a new chapter 🥰 I hope you enjoy and i love to read your thoughts about it. Next chapter is the Epilogue and then it’s all over 😭🥺

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Epilogue

The second the door of the limo closes behind me, I let out a deep sigh. Oh no, oh no, oh no, I think to myself. What happened out there? I didn’t expect to see Henry. I watched him on the screen since he was nominated for best actor and when he won, I couldn’t tear my eyes off of him. Thankfully I was hidden pretty well behind Brad Pitt, so Henry couldn’t see me, however: I could still see him.

He looked so handsome in his black velvet suit, his curls smoothed out and hearing him thanking his family and the director, made me me realize how much I missed him. Over the  last couple of months, I’ve been keeping myself busy with filming, touring for the movie and doing tons of interviews with David. Since I was around my best friend so much, I barely had time to think about Henry and my heartbreak.

Yes, I saw pictures of him on my Instagram explore page. Yes, I saw his statement. Yes, I saw him nearly murdering the interviewer with his eyes when my name was mentioned.

However I didn’t let that get to my head. I skillfully managed to push my feelings aside about the issue and decided to simply realize that it was screen Henry. A Henry Cavill far far away from me.

But now he was right here. I could reach out with my hand and touch him. I wanted to, really. To touch his beautiful face, to feel his strong hands on my cheeks and his lips against mine. I realized how much I was yearning for his touch.

‘You okay?’ David asks me, causing me to snap out of my thoughts about Henry.

I quickly nod. ‘Mhm, I’m okay,’ I tell him, but I don’t even believe it myself. I’m not okay. I feel like crying or jumping out of the limo to rush back and hug Henry and kiss him.

However, I’m still remembering the hurtful words. Henry Cavill betrayed me on television for the world to see.  

‘Are you sure?’ David pushes.

I let out a deep sigh. ‘It just felt so familiar, you know?’ I admit, knowing that David will drag it out of me, one way or another. ‘Talking to Henry… I thought it would be awkward and terrible, but it felt so right.’

He chuckles. ‘I could see in your eyes that you still like him a lot and this only confirmed my suspicions: you miss him like crazy.’

‘Shut up, David,’ I mumble.

‘Am I right?’

Yes. ‘No, it’s been months. I’m so over him.’

‘Such a liar,’ he laughs, as the limo drives off. ‘Just a question: aren’t you being a little too hard on him?’

I scoff. ‘Is this some sort of bro code I’m not aware of? He talked shit about me behind my back and the entire world found out about it, the same way and time I did.’

‘Easy there, tiger,’ David says, leaning back in his seat. ‘He did keep his end of the bargain. He never spoke about you, he wrote a statement that was very considerate towards you and from the looks of it: he misses you a lot.’

I shake my head. ‘He doesn’t.’

‘I can recognize the look of love from anywhere, Park. That man still loves you like crazy.’

‘He loves me?’ I can’t help but laugh out of utter disbelieve. ‘For fuck’s sake, David, we had a tiny thing we rushed into.’

He ignores my statement. ‘You sound awfully defensive. If this was just a tiny thing you two rushed into, tell me one thing: why are you even meeting with him?’

‘I do not sound defensive,’ I say to him, only confirming I actually did and still do. ‘He wanted to talk about this and I kinda agreed.’ I look to my side, only to see David already looking at me. ‘I want to clear the air between us.’

David nods. ‘I know you do.’

And for some weird reason, I feel tears building up in my eyes. A sniffle leaves my lips, followed by many more. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Oh no,’ he says in a soothing tone. He scoots over and wraps his arms around my upper body. ‘It’s okay, Adelaide.’

‘I don’t even know why I’m crying.’

‘I do,’ he says, placing his chin on top of my head. ‘You miss him more than you want to admit. I saw the way your face turned pale when you would come across a picture of him. I saw you watching the trailer for his newest movie. Besides, you are not as mad at him as you want people to think, because if you were, you wouldn’t have agreed on talking to him at the afterparty, let alone meeting for coffee tomorrow.’

I simply nod, because this is the absolute truth. David knows me even better than I know myself and my motives. ‘You are right.’

‘Of course I am,’ David chuckles. ‘Adelaide, remember: whatever choice you make, it’ll be a good one and you don’t have to decide what you’ll do right there and then. You can think about it and I know for a fact that Henry will respect that. From the looks of it, he only wants what is best for you.’

I hate it when he is right. ‘I’m scared, David.’

‘I know you are and that is totally allowed.’ He cradles my face in his hand and wipes away some tears. ‘I can come with you if you want. Maybe that gives you the extra support you need.’

That doesn’t sound like a bad idea. ‘I want you to,’ I whisper.

‘Then I’ll go with you. And if you want me gone, just say so and I’ll move my ass. Or if I think I should go, I’ll go.’ He flashes me a smile and asks: ‘Remember what I told you when we started filming?’

I chuckle, before I nod. ‘You and I, we’re in this together.’

He pulls me back in a tight hug and I melt against his broad frame. ‘I’m your friend, Adelaide. Remember that.’

‘I will,’ I whisper, closing my eyes, already dreading tomorrow.

◎ ◎ ◎

I have missed Henry over these couple of months. I have been angry, I have been mad, of course, however… David is right: I don’t want to be mad at him anymore and if I’m being honest: I’m not. He made a terrible mistake, but he did keep his end of the bargain.

After I peeled off the white dress and got myself ready for the night, I crawl underneath the covers with my laptop open. I look up a new compilation of me and Henry during the Celebrity Project made by fans. It actually has the song ‘I Should’ve Told You’ by Fiji Blue, the same song I sang to Henry.

My eyes fill up with tears, as I see the memories flash by. Our first meeting. Our first swim. Me visibly growing more comfortable with him. The kiss on my leg, our real kiss on camera…

I’m dragged into the black hole of these types of compilations and this only confirms David’s suspicions, but it also reveals my true feelings about the entire situation. I close the laptop and let out a big sigh.

My phone start to ring and I look at my screen, only to discover a message from Henry.

Henry Cavill: Hi Adelaide, you know the Griddle?

I wipe away the leftover tears off my cheeks. I miss him. I miss him so much.

Adelaide: Yes, I do.

Henry Cavill: Want to meet there at 4?

Adelaide: Of course.

Adelaide: Henry, I’m a little nervous, so do you mind if I bring David with me?

Henry Cavill: No, of course not. Please bring him with you, if that helps you. I don’t mind.

Adelaide: Okay, good. See you tomorrow.

Henry Cavill: See you tomorrow.

◎ ◎ ◎

David squeezes my shoulder as we walk towards the Griddle Cafe. ‘I’d advise you to breath, Park,’ he says. ‘You don’t want to pass out on the both of us.’

‘Shut the fuck up.’

‘No need for hostility,’ he says, as he places his hand in the back of my neck. ‘You’ve got this. I guarantee.’

I look over to the side. ‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘Just really nervous.’

‘Do you want me to tell you an inappropriate joke or…?’

I can’t help but laugh. ‘Not necessary, thank you. Otherwise that will be all I think about probably.’

‘Well,’ he says, ‘at least you’re smiling again and a smile is a better look on you than a frown.’

I already see Henry sitting at a table and I stop walking. He looks so approachable, with his long sleeved shirt and his curls loose. From the looks of it, he is nervous well. He has his hands folded together and I can see him deeply exhaling from where I’m standing. ‘Walk ahead,’ I say to David. ‘I just have to think about this. Alone.’

David nods and walks off the table. He holds out his hand and shakes Henry’s, before sitting down. He starts a conversation, so effortlessly. When Henry looks over, I turn around so I don’t have to look at him yet. I shake my head as I nearly pull out all my hairs.

I missed him so much, I think to myself. I tried to get over him, but when I’m being real and honest with myself: I am simply not. Especially not after watching those clips. Maybe David was right: maybe we still love each other.

After a deep breath and some calming thoughts, I walk towards the table and Henry, the ever so gentleman, stands up. ‘Adelaide,’ he says. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ I whisper. ‘Please, sit down.’

He waits when I’m seated before he does the same and a waiter walks to our table. We order our drinks and I straighten my back. I look at Henry. ‘What did you want to talk about?’

He lets out a sigh of relief, glad I’m starting the conversation. ‘I just wanted you to know how sorry I am.’

‘Henry, I already now that,’ I say.

‘Please,’ he says in a hoarse tone, ‘let me explain.’

I simply nod, because he sounds so desperate.

Henry clears his throat. ‘You were right that night,’ he says, ‘I should’ve told you about my earlier feelings towards you, when I told you I was falling in love with you. It’s not fair that I kept that from you, especially since you were opening up to me.’

‘Did you mean it?’ I ask. ‘That you were actually falling in love with me?’

He places his underarms on the table. ‘I did,’ he whispers. ‘Of course I meant it. You made me forget about everything that was ever bothering, you are the only one that makes me feel like I’m loved and understood. You gave me trust I wasn’t supposed to earn and yet I violated you.’

I look up from my hands and stare in his beautiful eyes. ‘Henry, it’s okay.’

‘No, it’s not,’ he tells me. ‘Adelaide, you were completely honest with me and opening up to me, while I wasn’t transparant.’

‘Why not?’

He swallows hard, his Adams apple bobbing up and down. ‘Because I didn’t think it would matter. I thought you would never find out. I mean, it was a private conversation.’

‘Well, you couldn’t help it,’ I whisper. ‘You didn’t know it was being recorded. It was indeed a private conversation.’

Henry rubs his face and laughs out of disbelieve. ‘Why are you so understanding?’

I don’t even know what to say. Why am I understanding? Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do when he is pouring out his heart like this?

David smiles. ‘Because she has a heart of gold.’

‘I don’t,’ I say.

David and Henry look at each other with a knowing look.

‘Henry,’ I say, ‘I’m not mad at you anymore. I haven’t really been mad at you. Okay, wait, I was mad for quite some time, because you did violated my trust. However, I can’t stay mad at you. You did gave me something amazing and that was the feeling of opening up to people. I open up to more people and it affects my relationships with people around me, in a positive way.’

My best friend nods. ‘Because of you, man.’ David looks at Henry and sends him a reassuring smile. The waiter brings us our drinks and David stands up. ‘I’ll be back in a minute. Think you two could use that.’ He flashes me a smile, before he takes his coffee with him and walks away from our table.

Henry and I stare at each other for awhile. He looks torn and broken and I stand up from my seat, before walking over and I sit next to him. He stiffens up and when I gently place my hand in the back of his neck, I not only feel his warm skin against my palm, but also how tense he is.

Poor guy.

‘You really hurt me, Henry,’ I whisper.

‘I know and for that I’m so terribly sorry.’

‘I know, but I can’t stay mad at you forever and I don’t even want to. Listen: I forgive you.’

His eyes are filled with pain and regret and I place my forehead against his.

‘I’m sorry I never gave you time to explain yourself.’

‘I didn’t deserve that,’ he says, ‘so please don’t apologize for that. You had every right to be as mad as you were.’

I open my mouth and finally I manage to whisper: ‘I love you, Henry.’ The second those words leave my lips, a sob follows.

He cradles my face, his thumb caressing the apple of my cheek. ‘Addy, I love you too,’ he whispers. ‘I promise you that if you allow me, I can show you that I can be the best boyfriend for you. I hope you know I’ll never hurt you like this anymore.’

I smile, as a tear rolls over my cheek. He wipes it away. ‘I know and I really want to try it again, because I can’t seem to forget you, let alone get over you.’

‘I can’t believe you are actually willing to give me a second chance. I don’t deserve that.’

I nod. ‘You do, Henry.’ I wrap my arms around his shoulders and nuzzle my face in his nape. ‘You deserve a second chance. You did everything I wanted you to do.’ I take in his scent, the mix of sweet and salty. ‘I missed you so much.’

He pulls me closer to him. ‘I missed you too, Addy. I’m going to make it up to you.’

I pull back and send him a smile, only to be met by one of his beautiful smiles. Before I can say something, David clears his throat and we both look up. A blush creeps up my cheeks. ‘From what I’m seeing, I get that you two made up?’ As if he didn’t just interrupt a beautiful moment, David plops back on his seat and Henry and I let go of each other. He simply stares at the two of us, before he starts to laugh. ‘You two aren’t teenagers, you can drop the busted look in your eyes. I’m happy you two made up. Henry, you want me to do the best friend speech about kicking your ass when you hurt Adelaide ever again?’

‘I really feel like I should have a say in this,’ I mumble. ‘Besides, David, look at Henry. You’re not going to win that.’

He cocks an eyebrow. ‘Have you seen me with knifes? If Diego Hargreeves can do it, so can I, so listen.’ He turns to Henry with a serious look in his eyes. ‘If I even hear one bad syllable about her from you, directly or indirectly, I’ll kill you.’

Henry nods with a chuckle. ‘I know.’

◎ ◎ ◎

After we said our goodbyes to Diego, we go to my apartment building and somehow we ended up with the splendid idea to use the swimming pool downstairs. He arranged some shorts from the reception, while I changed into a red bikini.

Now I’m sitting on the edge of the pool, while Henry is already standing in the water. He places his hands on the sides of my thighs and simply stares at me. ‘What is it?’ I ask him, as my fingers run through his damp hairs.

‘I missed you,’ he whispers. ‘I missed looking into your beautiful eyes. I missed touching your skin. I missed talking to you, being around you.’

‘I missed you too,’ I say. ‘Especially kissing you.’ I wrap my arms around his neck and press a kiss on the tip of his nose. ‘We’re all good, Henry.’

‘Are you sure? Is there still anything you need to get off your chest? If so, please tell me. I’d rather know now.’

‘It’s all good. Remember, I forgave you and I want to give you your well deserved second chance. Is there anything you need to get off your chest?’

‘No,’ he says. ‘I just want you to know that I’m not going to mess this up.’

‘I know.’ I wrap my legs around him, to pull him closer to the edge. I press a kiss on his lips and I don’t think our kisses have ever felt this desperate. He opens his mouth and as I response, I do the exact same. Henry pulls me into the cold water and despite him holding me safely against him, I can’t help but moan as I freeze up.

We fall into our same old routine, as if we didn’t spend eight months apart from each other. We laugh, he holds me and lets me try to swim a bit on my own. However, when my head goes underwater, he is quick to pull me up. While I’m coughing, he apologizes with a gentle kiss on his cheek.

I smile at him. ‘I love you, Henry,’ I whisper.

‘I love you too, Addy,’ he says, ‘and forever will.’

[whynotwinnie]

Tímida: Roger Taylor x OC series

sorry guys i’ve been m.i.a. with second semester starting i’ve been stressing with class and all that but i had this chapter for awhile now and i decided to finish it. also i’m trying to work on “wounded” the kylo ren series but i fell into a bit of a writers block for that one. .-. i’ll work on it soon. but here is this roger taylor fic you can use ben hardy’s version of roger if you would like. :) thanks for reading.

 MICKEY

Waking up groggy you checked your alarm clock, 12:00 in the afternoon you have definitely seen worse you groaned as you got up from your bed. 

You had always followed a very specific routine in all honestly it just made sense living on your own had definitely impacted you and your mental health so sticking to a routine made it feel like your life was always on track, when it certainly was not. 

The first thing on your non-existent schedule was coffee, no matter the time you always needed some sort of caffeine when you are tight on cash it was tea at home, but when you were able and that was most of the time you went to a small coffee shop that was about a fifteen-minute walk from your studio apartment. 

After doing the basic self-hygiene you grabbed your tote bag filled with your work stuff and started walking to the directions to Beachwood Cafe.

The walk is always quiet and calm, but it always gave you little bits and pieces into other people’s lives. Like the old lady watering her plants or the way, the housewife takes her toddler for a walk in his stroller. The sense of familiarity comforted you. 

“Hello there.” 

You whipped your head toward the direction of the voice, this was not part of the routine you had never seen this man before, his shoulder-length blonde hair and ridiculously blue eyes were unfamiliar yet comforting. He was confident yet nonchalant with his greeting.

“Hello,” you said with a small smile he looked down at you smiling.

You continued to walk seeing Beachwood in the distance.

“Were you going to get a cuppa?” you nodded your head “That is so crazy because so was I.” he picked up his pace so he can open the door for you. 

You muttered a small thank you and walked in, Beachwood was a small but very popular coffeeshop the owner Dayla has became a very good friend of yours and always brightened up your day with a joke or two.

“Mimi, how are you love?” she asked from behind the counter.

“I’m good Day how are you?”

“Can’t complain if I say so myself.” she said grinning “Let me guess Caffe Latte and a pastry?”

“Yes ma’am, it’s late in the day you didn’t run out of the pastries yet?”

“I just took out a fresh batch right now, I knew you were going to have a late start today.”  God, you loved this woman.

You stepped aside to get your wallet from your bag 

“What would you like young man?” Dayla asked the man who walked in with you.

“I’ll just get a cup of tea please, Oh! I’ll get her order as well” he said as he saw you handing money to Dayla.

“That’s okay!” you said feeling the heat rise to your cheeks.

“Please I insist.” He said practically throwing the money to pay for your order at Dayla.

“Please let me-”

“Mimi! he said he insists go sit down,” Dayla said looking at you wide-eyed.

You looked at both of them and walked to the seat you usually sat at and what a surprise the man came with you.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” he said motioning to the seat across from you.

“Go ahead,” you said

He sat down looking out the window and then back at you. “I’m sorry I realized I never introduced myself I’m Roger Taylor.” he said extending his hand out to you, you grabbed it.

“I’m Mickey… well it’s not really Mickey but it���s just easier to pronounce.” Stupid you should’ve just said Mickey.

“May I ask what your real name is?” Roger said still holding your hand

“It’s Mikaela but Mickey is fine.”

“Can you say it one more time, I want to make sure I got it right.” he rubbed his thumb across your knuckles.

“Umm… yeah it’s pronounced Me as in me and you, Ki like eye but with a K in front of it and Yella like yell with an A after… That sounded really complicated actually you don’t have to-”

“Mikaela?” he said slowly looking up at you for confirmation. 

“Yeah!” your heart skipped a beat it is so nice hearing your name.

“Nice to meet you Mikaela” he said as he brought your hand up to his mouth and pressed a soft kiss on your knuckles.

Fuck.

Of course, at the exact same time as that happened, Dayla came with your drinks. She set your drink down smirking and left without saying another word.

“Is it safe to assume that you are not from here?” He asked while blowing on his tea before taking a small sip.

“Yeah, you can say that. What gave it away.” You said smiling from your coffee cup

“You’re just different from everyone not in a bad way either I like it. Where are you from.”

Oh god, I can die happy right now.

“Well, it's a bit of a long story.”

“I don't have anywhere to be.” He said his blues eyes burning into yours

Oh wow, he's so hot

“Oh in that case. I was born in a small town in Spain. Spanish was my first language so that’s why I talk funny.”

“I like the way you talk.”

He did not. Your face was definitely red.

“How does a girl from Spain come to London?”

“Ummm sheer luck I suppose.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure”

“Was it hard learning another language?”

“Learning English was super difficult sometimes I feel like I dont know what I’m saying, but English is my third language my second was Italian.”

“Italian? Where do you find the time to learn two extra languages?” He was genuinely in disbelief

“Well my mom was from Spain and my dad was from Italy so I just needed to know both and they’re pretty similar to each other so it wasn’t that hard.

“What do you do for fun?”

“What do I do for fun?” I repeated thinking hard

“Yes, you obviously must have loads of friends.”

“Well… I do have friends, I just can’t think of one at this second.”

This is embarrassing now he thinks I’m a loser

“Don’t worry I don’t have many friends either but consider me as your friend Mickey.”

“What about you? What do you do for fun?” I need to change the subject oh my god.

“Well, I’m in a rock band.”

“A rock band?!” You said a little too loudly

“What about me isn’t rock and roll Mickey?” he said laughing

“Not in a bad way of course you don’t seem like the type to be singing in front of a crowd,” I said shaking my head 

“Well, I suppose you got that right I’m on the drums in the back so the audience can’t really see me anyways.”

“I’m sorry I’m not trying to make fun of you I just got caught off guard, does your band have a name?”

“Sm- Queen,” he said shaking his head.

“I like the name Queen, are you playing soon I would like to see what I’m missing out on.”

“We’re actually recording our first album right now, the recording place is not too far from here about a block or two further down. So we’re going on a small break until we’re done with the album but I believe the next one is in three weeks.”

“I’ll keep an eye out for it then.” You said sipping your coffee

“Actually I was hoping to see you earlier than that.”

You immediately choked on your coffee, making a scene by coughing into your napkin.

“That wasn’t the response I had hoped for,” he said passing you his napkin so you can wipe your tears with.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I wasn’t trying to be mean I just- well I would like to see you again as well.”

“Really?,” He said smiling, and you swear you could melt from his smile alone.

“Yes, of course.” You smiled back.

He then prompted to drink his cup of tea until it was finished and left money on the table.

“Great then I’m going to leave before I can mess up this perfect first moment. By any chance do you have a pen on you?”

You shook your head yes and looked through your bag handing it to him.

“This is my number, we’re recording until 6 today so anytime after that call me and I’d love to talk to you more.”

You felt your head spinning with how fast he was talking and moving.

He plucked your hand up and gave you a small kiss on it again, he then walked to the door before saying.

“Promise me you’ll call me,” he told you while he grabbed the door handle.

“I promise I’ll call you,” you said softly

“Perfect,” he said while he winked at you and then left.

He gave you one last look through the window and then left, once he was out of view Dayla came to the table.

“Who was that?” she said, collecting her tip that Roger left her.

“His name is Roger. I met him today.”

“Today! You’re joking.”

“I swear Dayla I met him minutes before coming here?”

“He can be a psychopath! And here you are chatting with him after knowing him for 30 minutes.”

That stopped you.

“He is not a psycho he was so nice and funny, and did you see how hot he is Day?”

“Yeah well murderers can be funny and hot.”

“Do you really think he’s a murderer?” you asked in a exsperated way.

“No, I was just kidding he is really hot and besides who would want to murder you?” Dayla said as she wiggled her eyebrows.

“Wow that doesn’t really make me feel better.”

She stood up grabbing Roger’s empty cup “Girl you know I was just playing I say go for it and have fun, anyone would be lucky to have you.” she bumped your shoulder with her hip and left.

Your mind felt overwhelmed with all the excitement from today you even almost forgot that you had some work orders to do you tried to push Roger from your mind as you grabbed your journal and sketchbook from your bag. You looked back at your notes reading on what your client wanted: a floor-length gown but not something too flashy something to show off their arms and their cleavage. Perfect. You spent your time designing the gown having fun with it since you probably wouldn’t have another gown piece for months. After finishing you went on to your smaller orders feeling yourself getting into the groove of things.

Looking up from your sketch you noticed how dark it got outside and how empty it now was in the cafe. You decided to call it a day, well that was until you go home, and then you would start making the gown. You noticed the clock when you were telling Dayla good night. 6:58 Damn time really flew by and then you remembered the number you had in your bag.

The walk home went by to fast your thoughts about what you would say to Roger once you called made you nervous to the point that your keys kept slipping from your hands as you were trying to open the door to your apartment. 

You purposely threw your jacket on the phone hook so you didn’t have to see it and went to the bathroom you looked at your appearance baggy jeans, an oversize t-shirt that you also slept in, hair a mess, and no makeup. You shook your head, no way Roger was being serious about you calling him he was so much more put together and out of your league completely. You could just imagine all the beautiful women that he has been with, no way you could compare. You sighed walking out the bathroom ready to get started on your order. You grabbed the different fabrics you needed for making the gown and when you went to grab your sketchbook Roger’s number fell and slowly fluttered down to the floor like it was taunting you. You stared at the paper hard groaning when you opened it reading that he wrote “Roger <3” following his number. You did promise him you would call…

Your heartbeat picked up when you approached the phone dialing each number slowly wishing a catastrophic event would happen and end the world so you didn’t have to finish dialing. It didn’t happen. You put the phone to your ear and hear the first ring, and then the second. This was stupid calling him in the first place you removed the phone from your ear and were half a second away from hanging up when you heard “Hello?”

Shit.

You couldn’t just hang up now. 

“Hello, is this Roger?”

“It took you long enough.”

[kanri-tea]

Fem! Jakurai

A take on a female Jakurai in the world of Hypnosis Mic

"I don't know who you are, but thank you for rescuing us," Jakurai bowed, thanking their mysterious savior. Next to her, she hears Yotsutsuji's flustered thanks.

"T-thank you from me as well!"

"Haha! It was nothing! It's a pleasure to meetcha! ☆I'm Amemura Ramuda," the pink-haired boy cheerfully introduced himself, "And you're Jinguuji Jakurai and Yotsutsuji!"

"...How do you know our names?"

"Hmm~ How should I explain...? I'll tell you after you check on all those wounded folks! ☆"

Jakurai felt conflicted, on one hand, she definitely wanted to make sure none of them were seriously wounded, on the other, this Amemura Ramuda might actually prove to be dangerous to both her and Yotsutsuji. Taking a deep breath, she reasoned to herself that this wasn't the underworld, trust had to be given to be proved after all.

"May I ask you one thing, Amemura?"

"Whatcha got~?"

"...Will you teach me how to rap?"

"Sure thing! ☆ You're definitely going to be a great MC!"

"Aah.. but..."

"Hmm~?"

"Aren't MCs something that Chuouku assigned to men?"

"Ye~ah?"

"...Amemura, I'm a woman."

"...Eh?"

When she was in middle school, her school had sent her the wrong uniform, but she simply shrugged it off and requested for the right one.

When the military accidentally marked her off as the wrong gender, she simply sighed and had it fixed.

When the Party of Words took over the government, she took note of it and moved on, after all, it had nothing to do with her. So why exactly was she being pushed into all this Hypnosis Microphone nonsense? It was a men's only thing, wasn't it?!

Jakurai sighed, staring into the mirror as if it had all the answers to life.

Tall and slender (although leaning towards underweight), she felt that her body wasn't that bad. Cupping her breasts she wondered if maybe they were too small. Having a B cup wasn't too bad, Jakurai thought to herself.

Maybe it was because of her unnatural height, after all, how many other women could claim to be an amazing 195 cm?

Jakurai cursed her genetics once again for making her so tall and 'masculine.' When she had asked Ramuda to teach her how to rap, she hadn't thought too much of it, after all, hypnosis microphones were pretty common nowadays. It was always better to be safe then sorry.

Even when Ramuda knew of her past of being Ill-Doc, he somehow had still thought that she was a man. God, this was her curse in life, wasn't it? Cursed to be never be able to get a date and constantly be mistaken for a man.

"Sensei!"

"A-ah, I'll be out in a second, Ichiro!"

Curse Ramuda and his constant need for chaos. Curse Ichiro and his innocent puppy eyes that Jakurai refuses to admit to be weak to.

Sulking slightly, she started to put on one of the many dresses that Ramuda chose for her to try. Honestly, it wasn't a big deal that she rarely wore anything but her black turtleneck, jeans, and lab coat. They were comfortable and practical.

Of course, the others (*coughcough*Ramuda*coughcough*Ichiro*coughcough*) vehemently disagreed. Which then turned into a wardrobe overhaul and shopping trip in Shibuya of all things.

Resigning herself to playing dress-up doll for the next couple of hours, Jakurai stepped out of the dressing room.

"Ooh! Huh, I guess sensei really is a lady."

Jakurai felt the urge to slap someone over the head, namely Ichiro hard.

"...Excuse me."

Ichiro stuttered, backtracking and realizing what exactly he just said, "I- I mean, you usually don't, y'know, uhhh..."

As Ichiro descended into mumbles, Ramuda laughed, fully in his element of chaos and destruction.

At least one of us is having fun, Jakurai couldn't help but think uncharitably, feeling rather self-conscious. There was a good reason she rarely wore feminine clothing, and it wasn't just because it was difficult for her to find anything her size (though it played a large part of it.)

"It, uh, it looks good on you, sensei," she turns, startled, having forgotten about Samatoki.

He's blushing, which is, on one hand, is rather adorable, but on the other, she really hopes that he's blushing from embarrassment and not a crush.

"Thank you," Jakurai smiles slightly, wishing to be out of the dress and back into her usual outfit.

Was it too late to run away?

"So I guess we're a team."

"Yup~! ☆"

Jakurai tilted her head, a small smile on her lips. A team, huh. She supposed it was time to say goodbye to Kujaku Posse.

"It'll be us four against everyone else! We'll be the best!"

She listens to Ichiro's exuberant yelling and Samatoki's curses that follow soon after. Nearby, she watches Ramuda cheerfully egg on the two, mixing in his own brand of chaos and calamity into the fold.

Chuckling, a though pops into her head.

"We never did figure out if I was allowed to participate in the rap battles, did we, Ramuda?"

"No~pe!"

"Huh?"

"What are you talking about?"

Watching at the visible confusion on both Ichiro and Samatoki's faces, Jakurai sighed. Oh dear.

"I'm a woman, but the rap battles are a men's only event," she gently reminds the two, or rather inform them. Honestly, she might be extremely tall, but her voice and chest should've at least hinted that she wasn't a man.

Observing the startled faces of her new teammates, she wondered if she was going to have to wear a badge or something to indicate that, no, no she was not a man.

"EHHHHHH?!!"

If this was an indication of how this team was going to be, Jakurai thought to herself as Ramuda laughed himself silly, then God, please give me patience. A lot of patience.

"Ooh, is Jakurai going on a date? You look super pretty in that dress! ☆"

"Ah, well it's been a while," Jakurai hummed, "so I thought I'd put a little extra effort today."

Having styled her hair into a waterfall braid and applied a bit of makeup, Jakurai felt that she looked pretty good. Twirling around, she teasingly asked for Ramuda's approval.

"Definitely a ten out of ten~!"

Out of the corner of her eye, she spots Ichiro and Samatoki huddled together. Shaking her head, she laughs at Ramuda's praise and elects to ignore whatever Ichiro and Samatoki were planning. It probably wasn't going to be good for her stress levels anyways.

"Alright, I'm heading out now. Don't make a mess of my apartment, children," Jakurai calls out, receiving eye-rolls in return and mumbled promises of behaving.

Heading towards the cafe where her blind date was, Jakurai couldn't help but feel a bit suspicious. They're all adults, or well at least close to adults, she reasoned to herself. They're not going to do something stupid she hoped.

"Hi, you're Jakurai, right?"

Startled, Jakurai flinched, not having realized that she had already reached her destination. Politely smiling, she nodded her head towards the man.

"I apologize for not paying attention," she began, "Jinguuji Jakurai. It's nice to meet you."

Settling down, Jakurai felt that her date was probably going to be okay. Neither of them really had anything in common, but he wasn't a bad conversationalist.

"- pretty cool person, Jakurai. But, wow, I really didn't expect you to look so much like a man."

What.

"-and if you wore makeup and got bigger breasts, you'd look really hot, like model-levels of hot, y'know like-"

Jakurai felt her hands twitch. God, this was why she almost never went on dates, especially blind dates. Doing her best to be as polite as possible, she tried to excuse herself.

"Excuse me, I-"

"Oi."

Turning her head, she came face-to-face with Samatoki. Wait. Why was Samatoki here? And with Ichiro and Ramuda too, to boot. How did they even know where she was?

"Hi, sensei!"

"Jakurai! What a cool coincidence to see you~! ☆"

"Samatoki! Ichiro! Ramuda! What are you-"

Behind them, she hears her date spluttering indignantly. Good.

"He~ey, Jakurai, I saw this super duper cool candy store a couple of streets down," Ramuda giggles, it's not a nice one, Jakurai notes, and the gleam in his eyes as he pulls her away from the table is downright vicious.

"H-huh? Ramuda!"

"We're off~! ☆ Ichiro, Samatoki, have fun!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"See you later, sensei!"

Hesitantly, she glanced at her date who was currently trembling and sweating in fear, and then towards the rest of the TDD. Shaking her head, she let herself be pulled by Ramuda.

I can take care of myself, she wants to say, why are trying to protect me, she wants to ask.

Instead, she tosses out a "don't hurt him too much" before walking next to Ramuda.

She hears the screams of terror behind her and a part of her wants to go back, wants to help even the ones who desire to hurt her.

"Ne, Jakurai, you doctors are always helping so many people," she hears Ramuda humming, "but, y'know, sometimes doctors should let others help them too~!"

"...pfft-!"

She's crouching, Jakurai realizes halfheartedly, and her vision is blurred.

"Haha, Ramuda, what are you even talking about," she laughs as tears obscure her sight, "I'm not a damsel in distress."

"Nope! But it's nice to see you as a lady sometimes. You're much better than this annoying onee-san that calls me all the time!"

"...Better enough that you don't have to pretend with me?"

"Hmm~ Who knows!"

She feels Ramuda's arms around her shoulders. It's a comforting feeling, and she can't help but feel guilty. For her to feel happy while having so many sins still weighing upon her shoulders.

She hears footsteps approaching them and looks up to see Samatoki and Ichiro. They're sweaty and out of breath, but the bloodthirsty grins and bright eyes tell her everything she needs to know.

"Sensei!"

Around her are the TDD, and she can't help but feel content and happy. The dark feelings of self-doubt are clawing at her again. Was she allowed to be happy? After causing so much death, so much pain, was it okay for her to-

No.

Jakurai forces those feeling down, forces them into a box for now. Right now, she basks in the warmth that the others provide.

She can't help but love Ramuda, can't help but love Samatoki, can't help but love Ichiro. They're her precious boys, her friends.

It's a nice feeling.

Very few good things last, and the TDD ends up being one of the many that fail, and it h u r t s.

It's been several months since Yotsutsuji fell into a coma, several months since that fateful email.

Suddenly, Jakurai couldn't help but feel all her thirty-something years weighing down on her shoulders. God, she was getting old.

I guess, she bitterly thinks, I was simply the fool for believing that we would last.

Nothing ever lasted. Not family. Not Hitoya. Not even the TDD.

Pulling herself together, she prepared to close her clinic for the night. It was getting late after all.

Knock. Knock.

Who-?

"Samatoki?"

"Hey, sorry to bother," she watches Samatoki stumble into her clinic, his shirt red with blood.

Body on autopilot, she tends to his injuries. The silence between them is oppressing. What was there to say, she wondered, but a small part of her was glad that even though they've all gone their separate ways, Samatoki still trusts her to treat his injuries.

"...Thanks."

She smiles, it's not quite as warm and as fond as it used to be, but she manages. She asks how he's doing, how Nemu is, asks him to take care, to not aggravate his injuries.

Samatoki grunts and shrugs off her questions, is ready to leave before she hears a soft, "Do you regret it?"

I don't know, she thinks; yes, she wants to say.

Instead, she tells a half-truth, half-lie.

"No, our time in the TDD means a lot to me, but I believe it is time for us to move on."

She sees the hurt that roles off of Samatoki in waves, sees how badly the younger man is taking the separation and a large part of her wants to hug him, to tell him that everything will be okay even if she doesn't believe it.

When he leaves, Jakurai can't help but think of Yotsutsuji and his discovery that made Ramuda want him dead, can't help but think of Ichiro and his resolve to raise his siblings himself, can't help but think of Ramuda and what they had.

Can't help but think of what-ifs.

In another life, would things have turned out differently?

[logical-little-lies]

{Chapter 8- Accidents and Bubble Baths}//Soft, Cute, and Far Smarter Than You (Sanders Sides Agere/CGLRE)

A/N: So basically- this chapter starts off by kicking off the romance part of the story, then skips to Logan regressing. It's one of the longer chapters of this story and I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you guys like it!

Warning for Logan having an accident (wetting himself) while small and wearing a pull-up.

--

"Are you doing okay, Lo?" Patton asked the man as he entered the kitchen from his spot at the table.

"Mhm." Logan nodded, pulling out a chair to sit next to him. "I have so much work to do, though." He groaned.

After a few days of remaining in his headspace following Halloween, Logan had a lot of work to catch up on. He had agreed to the break, and now he needed to make up for it.

Patton chuckled. "If you need anything, let me know. I'll be cutting you off at dinner time." He spoke in a teasing tone.

Logan laughed. "Patton, I'm better at managing my work now. I don't need you to drag me away from the computer because I'm not taking care of myself."

Logan used to slave away in his room, doing his work, working ahead, without any sort of breaks or self care. And then, when he decided that he was done, he'd regress all by himself, until he was forced to interact with the other sides or he had more work to do.

"Okay, okay! But you're eating dinner with the family. No exceptions."

Logan nodded slowly. "Are we the only ones up?"

Patton confirmed. "I'm basically everyone's alarm clock, so yeah. You're the only one that sometimes gets up before I make my rounds."

"Did you want any help with breakfast? Since I'm up, I mean..."

Patton's face broke out into a wide smile. "Of course! You up for pancakes?" He questioned, getting up from his seat and going over to the cabinets, rummaging around the kitchen and grabbing random things.

He'd run over and place them on the table, gathering the ingredients he'd need. "Guess I don't have a choice..." Logan rolled his eyes, before jumping in to help his friend.

They quickly go to work on setting up, Patton making the batter, and Logan making the pancakes.

"We should hang out more," Patton commented, rinsing out dishes in the sink as Logan busied himself with flipping pancakes.

Logan chuckled, seemingly confused. "We hang out all the time."

"That's with little you." Patton corrected. "And I love caring for you when you're regressed, really. But I still feel like you're kinda..sheltered? When you're big, I mean."

Logan frowned, using his spatula to flip the pancake onto its uncooked side. "You're right. I'm sorry, its just hard opening up, I guess. And we can hang out more, if you want." Logan paused his rambling to push down the pancake, listening to it sizzle. "While I'm big." He added.

"Sounds great, Lo. What would you want to do?" Patton asked in curiosity.

"We could catch a movie or go to a cafe," Logan suggested with a shrug. He realized right after the words came out of his mouth that those were two very date like ideas. He was glad that he was facing the stove and not Patton directly, because his face was quite red.

Logan suddenly remembered something Virgil had told him. About thinking that Patton had a crush on big him. He had refused to believe it then...

What about now?

"Sounds like a plan," Patton had a confident and perky smile on his face as he set whatever he had been cleaning on the counter, coming closer to him. "How about this weekend? If you aren't little or busy." He suggested.

"Y-yeah, sure." Logan nodded a bit, still blushing and stumbling over his words. It was so weird to him how his view on Patton shifted. Their relationship dynamic shifted depending on his headspace. Sometimes, Patton was the man who played with him and cuddled him. Others, he was the one who cooked him meals and told him what to do.

But most of the time, when he wasn't feeling like a little kid or teenager, Patton was a really cute sweetheart who made him all flustered. The fact that he was willing to give up so much time to take care of him just showed that he really cared, and that made Logan happy.

He scooped the pancake off the pan, setting it on a plate that had been sitting next to the counter. Patton was standing next to him now, able to get a clear view of his face. As Logan was distracted pouring batter into the pan, Patton got close to his ear and whispered out a few words. So quiet and quick that Logan wasn't even sure that they were real.

"It's a date."

Logan's eyes widened, the logical trait immediately turning to face the moral trait.  Patton had backed away to the sink, pulling a face of confusion when he saw the others red face. "What's wrong, Lo?"

"N-nothing. I'm looking forward to this weekend." He muttered, biting his lip and facing the stove again. Patton smirked, humming a bit before returning to doing the dishes.

This weekend should be fun.

--

"Baby, it's time to wake up."

Logan heard Patton's soft voice as he was pulled out of sleep. After a day or two of working and managing to get everything done, he had woken up small. And it seems that his caregiver had been prepared for that.

"Daddy," Logan mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

"Here, you need to see." Patton chuckled, helping him sit up and sliding his glasses onto his face. "That's better. How are you feeling?"

"Sweepy." Logan decided,blinking his eyes open and letting them adjust. He looked around the room, letting his eyes focus.

Patton seemed amused. "Yeah? Well, we'll just have to have a cuddly nap later, yeah?"

Logan quickly nodded, reaching out his arms. "Wan cuddles!" he pouted, making grabby hands to the carer.

Patton laughed again, pulling him into a hug and onto his lap. "Do we have a little fussy baby today?" he questioned teasingly. Logan shook his head as he pulled away from the embrace, settling in his lap.

"Just sleepy." he assured. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan's waist as he spoke.

"Well, I think you might wanna be more awake today. Your brother is little, but he's a little bigger than usual. Which means...." Patton trailed off, seeing if he could figure it out. Logan only tilted his head, blinking up at him. "He can play more! When he's to small to do certain things, you get bored because you can only do so much with him, right?"

Logan nodded. He felt panicky on the inside, but he tried not to express that. Logan felt so small right now, and now he was hearing that Virgil was bigger? Logan was supposed to be the big brother!

"Well, he's wide awake and he wants to play with his brother. It'll be fun," Patton smiled at him. "How old are you today? Vee said that he's five."

"Seven!" Logan lied, biting on his lip.

Patton didn't second guess it. A lot of the time, when Logan first woke up, he'd be a lot more childlike then he actually felt. He had no reason to believe that he wasn't just a sleepy seven year old, instead of a three year old trying to be 'grown up'.

"Alright, kiddo! Let's get you dressed for the day!"

--

Logan felt like he had to skip out on what he really wanted. Declining the offer for a pacifier, asking for a shirt and overalls instead of one of his onesies, doing everything to seem like he wasn't a baby.

He wore a light blue sweater with clouds on it, paired with black shortalls. "You look so cute, baby." Patton complimented.

Patton calling him 'baby' every two seconds didn't help. Logan didn't even know why he was lying. It made him feel guilty. But he also didn't like feeling so vulnerable. He needed to be bigger then Vee. He's the big brother.

The thing was, he acted very different as a three year old then when he was seven. Adjusting his behaviors to sell the act seemed impossible.

"Can I have Lilly?" Logan questioned, turning away from the mirror and looking back at his carer,who nodded.

"One elephant stuffie, coming right up," Patton joked, going over to his bed and grabbing the stuffed toy. He held it out to the little, causing Logan to smile. He hugged the elephant tightly, rocking on his feet.

"Are you feeling smaller then seven, sweetie?" Patton asked, looking him up and down. He was so much..softer seeming then he was when he was seven. Logan shook his head, only feeling a little bad for lying.

"Still just sleepy." he replied. Patton nodded softly, walking past him and opening the door. He let Logan walk through it, following him.

Patton should've picked up on the fact that he was lying a lot sooner. There were so many things off about how he was acting, and yet, Patton managed to come to a explanation besides 'he's lying to me' every single time.

First off, no matter how sleepy Logan was, he usually was full of energy after breakfast and a sippy cup of juice. He pointed this out to Roman while the boys watched cartoons together. "Logan is very sleepy today. He's acting...weird?" Patton sounded questioning of himself.

"Give him something sugary. If it's really just him being sleepy, he should be back to a hyper kiddo with enough sugar." Roman told him. "Have fun with the sugar high, though."

Patton chuckled in response.

"He likes pop when he's this old. I think I can make an exception to the normal rule."

--

"Here." Patton set a sippy cup full of some sugary soda in front of him on the coffee table

"Thought I could only have juice." Logan mumbled. He always asked for soda when he was a bigger kid, and Patton almost always said no. But when he was littler, he preferred milk and fruit juices. The bubbly feeling felt weird on his tongue and he didn't like it,

"Yeah, usually. But I know you're really sleepy today and I thought this might wake you up." Patton explained.

"Can I has milk?" Logan shook his head, pushing the cup away from him. He looked up at Patton with pouty eyes.

"Uh, yeah. Sure thing, sweetheart." Patton picked the cup back up, seemingly confused.

Logan almost wanted to admit to lying then and there. Patton treated him different based off of how old he was. If he admitted to being three, he'd probably be in Daddy's lap, being fed a bottle of warm milk. Logan reminded himself that he was lying, so even if he admitted his mistake, he'd probably be in trouble.

So Logan continued throughout the day, trying to act as big as he could. It was really hard being a seven year old. Bigger kid stuff was hard for someone that felt like a little baby.

There were so many instances where Patton should've caught him but didn't. So many instances where Logan had to lie again and again.

At one point, Virgil had asked to play video games. Sometimes, they'd play more kid-appropriate games together, with Logan showing him how it works. Instead, he fumbled with the controller. He sniffled when he couldn't figure out what button did what, becoming all the more frustrated with this situation.

"M-maybe this is a little overwhelming for Logan," Patton jumped in, taking the controller away from him the moment he saw his eyes gloss over. He pulled him out of his seat, hugging him. "The game's stupid anyway." he joked, trying to get him to smile.

Logan didn't though, simply pulling away and sitting back down in his previous spot. He picked up Lilly from next to him and hugged her tightly, facing his attention torwards the screen and watching Roman show Virgil the controls instead.

By then, Patton had a feeling he knew what was going on. There were so many other small things, and his behavior overall was a lot closer to a much younger age.

It wasn't until Patton found Logan in his bedroom, crying with a pair of wet shortalls on, that he finally put it together with certainty.

When Logan was as little as three, Patton made a point to remind him to go to the bathroom. Sometimes, he'd forget and hold it off as long as possible. But he hadn't actually had any accidents (to Patton's knowledge) until the reminders were gone.

When he was older, Patton didn't do as much to assure that there'd be no accidents. The older he was, the more capable of going to the bathroom himself he was.

Of course, when Logan lied about his age, things got confusing and he ended up here.

Patton was planning on pulling Logan to the side and talking to him about the day, to see if he was possibly right about the boy lying. When he noticed him, suddenly jump up and run off, he decided to wait until he got back. Except, he didn't come back for a while.

"I'm gonna go check on Logan." Patton told Roman, who quickly nodded.

"I was wondering where he went."

--

"Logan, baby? Are you in there?" Patton knocked on his bedroom door, hearing a whimper on the other side. Followed by a sniffle. Logan was crying.

"Baby, I'm coming in, okay?"

He didn't get a response. He opened the door, glad the boy hadn't locked it behind him. Logan was standing by his personal bathroom door, his shorts soaked with a little puddle under him. Patton snapped, getting rid of the puddle magically to avoid the mess on the carpet. Logan didn't even question his use of powers, going quiet as he waited for Patton's words.

Logan was crying, sobbing even, seemingly scared of what his caregiver would say. "Looks like you had a little accident. I think this calls for a bubble bath," he spoke softly, smiling a bit as he approached him. Logan seemed genuinely confused by his softness and sympathy.

"M' sorry, d-didn't mean to.." he mumbled.

"That's why I called it an accident, sweetheart." Patton said, cupping his face and wiping away his tears using his thumb. "Toddlers have them sometimes, baby."

"N-not a- Not a..." he stumbled over his words, babbling.

"Not a toddler? You're still gonna lie and try to say you're seven?" Patton questioned, raising his eyebrow, dropping his hand from his face. Logan looked down, blinking out a few tears and shaking his head.

"m' sowwy."

"Don't be, baby. I'm not mad at you, I just don't want you to lie to me. Especially not about something like that," he told him. Logan looked up at him, remaining silent. Patton continued, "I care for you differently depending on your age. It's why I always ask, I do whatever I can to make sure you're happy and healthy, but those needs and wants change."

Logan nodded a bit. He didn't try to say anything, knowing that he'd probably just mumble out another apology. "Why'd you pretend to be older, sweetheart? I'm not mad, I'm just wondering," Patton opened the bathroom door, taking Logan's hand to help him inside.

"Wanna be bigger then Vee." Logan admitted as Patton sat him down on the closed toilet seat.

"You don't always have to be the big brother. I know you like playing that role, but sometimes it's not easy to do that," Patton spoke in a reassuring tone. It told Logan that he wasn't mad, but what he said was probably right. "You're gonna be littler than him sometimes." Patton explained, leaning over the edge of the bath tub and putting the drain in.

"You want it like usual?" he asked. Logan usually liked warm water that was on the edge of steaming hot. Patton didn't know how it didn't burn him, but he liked it. Logan nodded, and Patton moved to twist the faucet on. "Is this your first accident?"

Logan looked down, shaking his head a bit. "Dis only happen when I'm this small- not this small a lot."

"Hmm. You've only been this little with me a few times. I wish you told me that this was a problem, baby," he felt the water, deciding that the temperature was acceptable before standing up and facing Logan.

"M' sorry. Thought you'd think it's weird," Logan let Patton unbuckle his shortalls, standing up and letting him slide them off.

"Accidents aren't weird. A lot of kids are still in the process of potty training by the time they're three. Virgil wears diapers or pull ups most of the time when he's little," Patton pointed out, tapping Logan's arm once the wet pants were set to the side. Logan lifted his arms, letting his caregiver pull his shirt over his head.

Logan blushed, biting on his lip. Patton threw the shirt into the same pile as the shortalls, before quickly moving to tickle Logan's bare sides. The boy giggled, pushing his hands away. "My point is," Patton removed his hands after a moment, his antics leaving a light smile on Logan's face. He continued, "You didn't need to hide this from me. I'd never get mad at you, or judge you for something like this. Can you promise not to keep things from me anymore? No lying about how old you feel, or hiding accidents."

Logan nodded quickly, holding out his pinky. He had felt bad about lying that day, and the accidents had been a long term secret. He had hoped he wouldn't of had to worry about that, since he had managed to get by with Patton's reminders the few times he did get this small.

Patton chuckled, wrapping his pinky around his and smiling. "Finish getting undressed while I put the bubbles in, okay?"

Logan nodded, waiting until Patton was facing away from him to pull off his wet underwear. He felt so gross. He stood there, chewing on his lip until Patton turned off the faucet, setting away to reveal a very bubbly bath. Logan took Patton's outstretched hand, letting him help him step into the tub.

For a moment, Patton let him settle into the water as he typed out a message on his phone, letting Roman know what happened. Then, he set it down and redirected his attention to his little boy.

Patton helped him wash his body, ticking him when his fingers ran over a part of him that was sensitive. Logan's worries seemed to wash away in the water. The idea that Patton was mad at him went away with Patton's constant reassurance and affection. The embarrassment from being so little faded as he splashed and played in the water.

"You keep playing while I go get you a new outfit, okay?"

Logan nodded a bit, currently distracted by the bright red cup in his hand. All he was doing was taking the plastic container and filling it with water, before dumping it out, but he was entertained by it.

Patton picked up his phone on the way out, closing the door behind him and seeing Roman at the door. "How is he?" he questioned.

"Okay, I think. I ran him a bubble bath and he's playing," Patton replied, going over to Logan's closet and pulling out a few things. He located his unicorn onesie. He usually didn't let Logan run around in it during the day, because the boy would be so upset if he spilt something on it, but he knew it would probably be the most comforting thing right now.

"I talked to him about hiding things from me. Told him that he doesn't always need to be bigger then Vee. I'm not getting onto him to much though, he feels bad and I think he just needs comfort right now." Patton admitted, going over to his dresser and pulling out his plain dark blue pacifier, setting it with the onesie.

"As long as he understands why he shouldn't do that, there's no need to be to stern on him." Roman nodded, entering the room and approaching Logan's bed. He set the item he was holding with the pile. "I'm pretty sure Logan and Virgil wear the same sizes in pull-ups. These ones are technically overnight ones, so they should hold a few accidents. I explained to Vee that Logan's a bit smaller than him right now already."

Patton nodded, smiling a bit. "I don't know how often these accidents happen, so I'm just going to have him wear one until he's bigger and I'll talk to him about it then. We should be down soon."

Roman nodded, leaving the room without another word.

"Hi, baby. You having fun in the water?" Patton opened the door, scaring Logan. Once he realized that it was just Patton, he nodded a bit. Patton seemed amused, shutting the door behind him and setting the pile of clothes in his hands down on the closed toilet. He had grabbed a towel from his closet on his way back into the bathroom, setting it with the clothes. Patton sat in front of the bath.

Logan slapped his hands on the surface of the water, causing it to splash. He giggled, bouncing in place. "Spwash!" he was so entertained by this.

"Maybe we shouldn't 'spwash' water on Daddy," Patton chuckled, wiping his face with his hand. Logan smiled, doing the splash motion again to see how Patton would react. Patton only shook his head with a playful sigh. "You're a silly baby. You know that?"

Logan blushed, sticking his tongue out before bursting into more giggles. "Hey, Little Scholar? How would you feel about wearing a pull up for today? Until you're bigger."

Logan frowned a bit, seemingly thinking. "Just so if you have another accident, there's no issue. This isn't a punishment, I just thought it would help." Patton rushed to explain, waiting for his reaction. Logan's face was red.

"Not a baby." he mumbled.

"But you are a very little toddler. Pull ups and diapers aren't exclusive to itty bitty babies." Logan still shook his head. Patton sighed, reaching over to the pile of clothes and picking up the pull up. "It has spaceships on it," Patton tried to sound convincing, "No one will see it either."

Logan seemed curious at the mention of 'spaceships', his eyes glancing over it as Patton held it up for him. "How about this...If you be a really good boy and do this for me, I'll let you wear your unicorn onesie." he bargained. He was gonna let him wear his unicorn onesie regardless, but Logan didn't have to know that.

Logan quickly nodded, agreeing on those terms. He wasn't against the idea of wearing the diaper, he was just embarrassed. But embarrassment could be overridden by a cute onesie.

"Thank you, Little Astronaut. I'm proud of you," Patton set the pull up back on the pile, before standing up and holding out his hand. Logan took it, stepping out of the bath. Patton helped him dry off, helping him step into the pull-up, which was surprisingly comfortable. Then, he zipped up the onesie for him, and gave him the pacifier.

"You ready to go downstairs? You can play with your brother, if you want."

Logan nodded a bit, letting Patton lead the way out of his room and down the stairs. The rest of the day was surely gonna be better than it's start.

Logan had gone from a sobbing mess trying to apologize to his caregiver, to a playful baby boy with just a bubble bath and some reassurance. Patton always made him feel so much better about himself. No matter how little he was, despite any accidents or temper tantrums. That's part of the reason why their relationship worked.

He knew how to adjust to taking care of him depending on his headspace and emotions, and was always willing to adjust if it'd make him more comfortable. He was always so understanding and soft with him, even when he broke the rules. He was the perfect caregiver for him

And, come Saturday, he'd find out if Patton would also make the perfect boyfriend.    

--

A/N: Send me asks/reblog with your thoughts+reactions to this please! Feedback is appreciated sm!

[seulgiology]

hugs and kisses | na jaemin

pairings: boyfriend!jaemin x girlfriend!reader

words: 1.6k

genre: fluff

synopsis: jaemin helps his girlfriend when she comes to him stressed because of school. (lmao sorry i’m bad at these)

warnings: lowercase intended bc i wrote this on my phone, but otherwise, none :P

a/n: hiii hello it’s adnim 2 here with some jaemin fluff for ya. wrote this while eating a variety of foods and jaemin has been on my mind a lot lmao so here y’alls go. wrote this on my phone btw so like if there are any typos, sorryyy i didn’t really go over it like i should’ve.

disclaimer: This is a work of fiction from our imagination. It is not intended that the plot, theme, original characters, idols, etc. portray any real-life events/people. Plagiarism is NOT tolerated on this blog. If you believe we have copied an existing authors’ work, please message us privately. thank you and enjoy :)

--

there was light chatter being heard through the class you were in. you weren’t a part of the chatter however because you were too focused on your assignment. 

for some reason, you couldn’t get your head fully focused today and you were getting frustrated. it seemed like the universe was against you today because suddenly a classmate of yours is sitting next to you. 

you slowly look up at her but don’t say anything, just give a curt nod of your head. “hey y/n, i noticed you over here working hard. do you need help?” she kindly asks. 

your eyes that was skimming the words on your laptop for the tenth time, suddenly stop. they narrow instead and your lips purse. your chest caves in and you feel your nose burning, throat constricting. you were going to cry. 

“i, uh— i’m fine but thank you,” you assure her, clearing your throat and tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

you keep your eyes on your laptop, refusing to meet her gaze and it stays like that until she leaves. you release a shaky breath, not knowing what has you on edge today. 

maybe it’s the stress with the finals coming up next week and you’re overworking yourself. you couldn’t help it though as it was such a flaw of yours. you were up late last night going over a practice question that you just couldn’t get. it’s probably why you’re extra sensitive to your emotions today. 

when the class is dismissed, you pack up your stuff and leave the classroom. your feet are suddenly moving quicker as you walk the hallways filled with students. 

you’re just looking for one person. this one person is the only one who can calm you down. it was the end of the day and you know he had classes today. you weren’t sure what his last class was but you know it wasn’t in the same building as yours. his locker was in the same building and you knew if he wasn’t there, he was waiting for you in front of your building with his friends. 

you go to your locker first and grab your coat, putting it on over your clothes and putting your beanie on. your gloves and scarf are placed on after that and then you're rushing to look for him.

when you go to his locker, you whine under your breath when he isn’t there. feeling your emotions building up again, you sniffle, trying to keep them at bay so you won’t burst down crying in front of everyone.

the students aren’t in a hurry but they’re not trying to stay longer at school. shuffling around them was a struggle as well because when someone would even bump into you, it felt like you would just cry then and there. 

the entrance of the building couldn’t have appeared sooner. you knew he was waiting for you in the front of the building and that motivated you to push through the doors, the cold winter air slamming into you and causing a quick shiver. 

you walk down the few stairs and when your feet meet the cobblestoned ground, your eyes dart around in search of your boyfriend. there you see him near a tree with his friends, laughing wholeheartedly and saying something afterward. 

when your eyes tear up, you’re not sure whether it’s because you’re relieved to see him or your emotions are about to fully come to the front. it didn’t take you long to get to him and when you did, you made sure he saw you first. 

your hand touches his arm and he jumps a bit before looking down at you. a grin is immediately seen on his face but it’s slowly wiped away when he scans over your face. he knew something was wrong, he always did. 

his friends greeted you but you just nodded politely. jaemin didn’t say anything to you just yet and instead tangled your fingers with his, wanting to hold you closer but not wanting that to be your breaking point. 

“okay guys, we'll catch up later, take care of yourselves and get home safe,” jaemin tells them with a short nod of his head. they bid him farewell too and then the two of you are walking the route to his apartment. 

“princess, are you okay?” he softly asks, this time his arm wraps around your shoulder so you’re close to his side. his warmth was a stark contrast to the cold air but it made you relax a bit. 

“let’s talk when we reach your place,” is what you whisper and jaemin frowns at the tone of your voice, but complies nonetheless. 

usually, these days after classes, jaemin and you would go to this small cafe on campus to get some hot chocolate and maybe work on some homework there. other times, his friends would join. but if that wasn’t happening then the two of you would either go to his or your place. 

he knew you guys could go to the cafe any

other day, today would just have to wait because you’re more important. 

it took the two of you under fifteen minutes to reach his apartment. your feelings were pushing to the front the closer you got and when you guys reached his door inside, he let go of your hand to unlock his front door. 

jaemin closes the door behind you and it’s silent as the two of you take your winter wear off, replacing shoes with slippers. “let’s go to my room,” jaemin suggests and you can only nod, letting him take your hand and guide you to his room. 

you don’t even get to sit on his bed before you’re bursting into tears. the sobs shake your body and they’re so heart wrenching it hurts. 

jaemin’s eyes widen when seeing you break down but he jumps into action. his arms wrap around you, rubbing your back and running his fingers through your hair soothingly. his heart breaks hearing you cry so heavily and he doesn’t know the cause of it. he wanted to make you feel better but he would just hold you until you were ready to talk. 

even though you’re crying, you’re able to register your boyfriend’s arms wrapping around your upper body to the best he can. it’s as if he’s trying to protect you from the world and it makes you want to cry harder. 

“i’m sorry,” you manage to say between your sobs, pulling back slightly to messily wipe at your face. “crying like this out of nowhere, i suck,” you laugh sadly. 

“hey, no no, it’s okay y/n,” jaemin assures you, cupping your hot cheeks in his hands and wiping at them with his thumbs. “don’t apologize for having feelings, okay? it’s okay for you to cry and you don’t suck.”

you look into his warm, brown eyes with your own watery eyes and sniffle. you hug him again due to all the emotion you’re feeling towards him now, and he doesn’t hesitate to hug you back, squeezing you lightly. 

“do you want to talk about it, princess?” jaemin softly asks. you nod your head stiffly against his chest and jaemin pulls away, leading you to his bed. the two of you sit down and face each other. 

jaemin’s hands hold one of yours as your other hand is occupied with wiping at your tear-stained cheeks. 

“i’m a bit overwhelmed, i think,” you mumble, confusing yourself with your choice of words. “i don’t know if it’s because of the finals coming up and the fact i’ve been pushing myself past my limits. maybe it is but i don’t know, it’s just too much at once.”

you felt an apology at the tip of your tongue for your bad explanation and for wasting his time. but before you could, jaemin is pinching your chin in between his thumb and index finger, staring intensely into your orbs. 

“i know what you’re about to say,” he says and the light tone of his voice makes your bottom lip quiver. “you’re probably thinking you shouldn’t have said what you just said and that it’s silly. but y/n, it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling right now. i can’t tell you what to do but i can suggest you take a break and try to slow down. i’ll be here for you like i always am, okay? if you decide to push yourself past your limits then i’m going right past them with you.” 

his words echo in your head for a solid minute as the two of you sit in silence. your lips part in awe to him because you just can’t believe he has so much patience for you. but at the same time, you can believe it. the love and adoration you feel for him can’t even be put into words so you want to show it instead. 

you grab the back of his neck and bring his face a little closer. jaemin seems to get the message and tilts your head upwards, placing his lips over yours. 

it’s a slow kiss but it’s enough to express your emotions. his hand moves from your face when you decide to swing your left leg over his legs, now straddling him and tangling your hands in his hair. “thank you,” you pant out, kissing him harder than before. 

“i’m always here for you, princess,” he whispers, pulling away to rest his forehead against yours. you keep your eyes closed and caress the hairs on the nape of his neck. 

“always.” 

[boggirlsummer]

Wet Hot American Summer

August 18 Zoey and I thought we fixed the leak in my tent but we were wrong. I spent the early morning inching away from a puddle that finally pushed me out around 8 am - time to get up anyway. Too rainy to cook or make coffee and I left camp aimlessly. I could barely see anything through the smoke and clouds which threw a wrench in my non-plan to drive around and take photos out the car window. Grand Tetons and Montana and Wyoming were up there on my teenage bucket list (lmao, dream big!), mostly for the landscapes and western vibes and maybe a few cathartic renditions of Wide Open Spaces. I just hiked all summer so I feel like I earned a few days of all-american automobile tourism.

Cozy

Decision fatigue is a ball buster on solo trips (and in life) and sometimes I refuse to change course even when it’s clear that a plan isn’t going to work out. I drove around Tetons alternately listening to the directions and making random navigational decisions, so Google kept yelling at me to make a u-turn. Eventually I got annoyed with both of us and stopped for snacks at the general store. I’ve been making my way through all the kettle chip flavors and so far honey dijon is the best and korean bbq is the worst.

Drove straight through to Yellowstone hoping the storm would let up, but by the time I got there it was 50 degrees with rain expected all afternoon. I thought it would be SUMMER once I left the Bay Area, so all my sweaters and warm jackets are in vacuum sealed bags that I don’t have the space in my car to open. I wasn’t loving the idea of being wet and cold in Yellowstone all night so I talked the campground lady into refunding my site reservation and headed for Big Sky, Montana.

I felt bad leaving without seeing any of the Yellowstone sights so I stopped at Old Faithful on my way out. I knew laughably little about what I was looking at and when a bunch of people started gathering I thought to myself, is this thing gonna explode or something?? And ya turns out that’s the entire point, it shoots a bunch of water and steam into the air every few minutes. I bought a cup of coffee and watched halfheartedly. The only other attraction I know about is the rainbow glory hole and there was so much traffic to park in the lot I said screw it and went on to Montana.

No LTE between Yellowstone and Big Sky and I was without a place to sleep - luckily my sister was available to do some emergency concierge work for me. I eventually found a nice campground near town but the obscene number of bear country warning signs freaked me out. I backtracked to Big Sky to buy a $50 can of bear spray, what a rip. Feeling beat today so I made it up to myself with a bowl of chicken curry ramen and a Sapporo. It was no nugget curry, but it did the job ☺️

Reading the bear spray instructions before bed - you’re supposed to use it once a charging bear is two to three seconds from reaching you. Wtf. I can’t do anything in two seconds. Finished Year of the Monkey at last. Almost fell asleep with a candy wrapper in my pocket, instant death. Also I got my period and I’m worried this is going to attract the bears.

August 19 I broke my own rule. I drove to Bozeman this morning and had a chicken fried steak at the Western Cafe, “The Last Best Cafe.” I had a nice chat with two old guys at the bar, initiated by ME! We talked about my trip so far and books (I was reading Walden Two and one of the guys had Woman in the Window with him, and we agreed that both authors are pretty nuts). Good time all around and then one of them secretly bought my breakfast 🥰 I’ve only ever had creepy men buy me drinks at bars so free CFS with no strings attached was a revelation. My smile lit up the cold dark streets of Bozeman.

Too early for hostel check-in so I killed some time hanging out in a coffee shop and wandering around Main Street. When I’m alone in a new city I usually get on the apps, it’s fun to hang out with a real LOCAL and have an AUTHENTIC experience. I did this on my first night in Sydney last year and my date won $7,000 at a bar raffle he’d been going to every week for three years and then bought us a night’s worth of top shelf shots, bad coke, and dumplings. Obviously I was his good luck charm so I should’ve gotten a cut of that $$$ but whatever… Eventually we went back to his depressing loft outside of the city. It was barely furnished and full of his shitty art and luckily he didn’t have any condoms so I was able to decline sex without feeling guilty (I had condoms of course but didn’t disclose). He tried to fuck me again around 4 am and I was so confused I thought he must have found a condom while I was briefly sleeping. He had not. I snuck out at 6 am and caught the bus back to the city. Not the most restful night but nice to get away from the hostel for a little while. But ya I updated my Hinge location to Bozeman and got hella conservative men swiping on me 🥴 My profile isn’t anything crazy but I don’t think I’m giving off Megyn Kelly vibes. Are they playing some sort of sexual bingo? Are they out to stealth me? Seems sus.

If you are a man on Hinge with a naked photo on your profile I WILL screenshot it and I WILL make a collage of my collection once I have enough material and I WILL sell it as a NFT and I WILL make $0 cuz y’all are freaks. This is the tamest one I’ve got, text me if you want a photo of a naked man covering his junk with a pineapple.

Ooooieee hostel is grungy and subterranean and not the kinda place you want to spend many conscious hours in. I took myself to the movies to escape - another thing I really missed last year. I saw The Night House, which I would describe as an architectural horror? I’ve been thinking about architecture a lot lately, this cool site Zoey sent me has some interesting interviews and stuff. In the movies I ate an entire bag of sour gummy worms and a box of junior mints.

Had a freaky bookstore experience earlier today, not the first time this summer. I originally wrote a longgg paragraph about synchronicity here but I got self conscious and started wondering if hearing other people’s stories about synchronicity is like listening to them talk about their dreams. I personally love talking about dreams (call me and tell me about your crazy dreams!!) but things definitely get lost in translation and sometimes they’re straight boring (like when my old coworkers and I used to dream in Excel, fucckkk). So I get why people find it annoying and here at Bog Girl Summer we can’t afford to alienate any of our readers. All I will say is that I walked into a bookstore today with synchronicity very much on my mind, went to the psychology section to buy a baby Jung text, and there saw a literal sign that said “Staff Pick, Introductory Jung: Synchronicity.” So yes, I bought it. Don’t forget y’all - I have a psychology degree so please don’t come after me about confirmation bias and all that lol. It’s very possible that in this summer of upheaval I’m desperate for some kinda sign that I’m on the right path. Let me have this one 😘

I also bought this postcard which spoke to me because most days I feel like I’m trying to drink out of a firehose

[patchwork-panda]

If A Moment Is All We Are (38/40)

Note: for Music 1, feel free to stop playing when you feel the mood shift. for Music 2, stop playing at the *** for Music 3, stop playing when you feel a mood shift or when you hit the ED. (your choice) for ED theme, stop playing when you feel like it. :)

S1, OP2 Music 1

“Let’s see...”

I set down the photos the police had taken around the abandoned dormitory and placed them next to the first of many reports lying on top of my desk. Grabbing a paperclip, I picked up that first report and put them all together.

“This set is going to the police...”

I slipped them all into a manila folder and placed the whole thing into my outbox.

“And this...”

I reached for a second, much lengthier set of documents and found the corresponding photos.

“...is going to Haruno- san for redactions first.”

Placing these in a different envelope, I put the second set of documents on top of the first and looked back at my overflowing inbox. I sighed.

So much completed, and yet still so much left to go...!

I’d spent so much time on Professor Matsuyama’s case these past few days that I hadn’t been able to get any of my other work done. All of my outstanding reports, errands and sketch jobs lay in a thick stack, crammed into an increasingly full inbox as the days slowly wore on. I was hoping to make a dent in my backlog yesterday but when Nomura had called, I’d been forced to push everything else aside so that I could find the professor in time.

The good news was that my sacrifices had not been in vain. The paramedics had taken the professor to the hospital the moment we got outside, where he’d be kept in the hospital for monitoring until they were sure he could be safely released.

The bad news, however...

I grimaced as the pile of documents on my top shelf sagged and fell over in the tray, noting how it looked like there were even more of them when the papers were fanned out like that.

How the hell was I going to get these done by the end of the week?

“Kusunokiiii-kuuun~!”

I sighed and brought my fingers to my temple just as a familiar grinning face appeared over the set of trays.

“What is it, Dazai-san?”

“‘What is it?’” Dazai sighed , visibly sagging as he repeated my words back to me. “Good grief, you sound exactly like Kunikiiida-kun. Just how much time have you been spending with that man, anyway?”

“A normal amount!” I retorted heatedly, glaring at Dazai as he stifled a snicker behind one half-bandaged hand. “I don’t like what you’re suggesting, Dazai-san.”

“Oh, you don’t, do you?” Dazai quipped, his eyebrows shooting straight up into his hair. “Really, now? Because I could swear I saw you doodling his picture in the corner of your notes at the meeting this morning—”

“No, I wasn’t!” I lied, instantly flushing red. “And what were you looking at my notes for anyway, you should’ve been paying attention and taking your own—!”

“But your handwriting is so much neater than mine,” Dazai whined. “If I took any notes at all, they’d just end up looking like chicken scratch and then I’d be unable to decipher any of it later—”

“So then just type them on your —!”

“ Oh, hey, that’s right!” Dazai suddenly exclaimed, snapping his fingers together and com pletely ignoring my outburst . “ I heard about this hot new pop-up cafe that’ s being hosted at the Isezaki Mall. If you buy a coffee and pastry combo order, they’ll give you a free keychain, featuring one of those cute new mascot characters just released by Sunrio!”

I forgot my rage in an instant.

“ For real?!” I cried, jumping out of my chair as Dazai moved back to his station and began typing into the computer. “ Do they have that cute red panda?”

“ Of course!” Dazai chirped, shooting me a wide grin as I ran over to his desk and gawped at the cafe’s homepage screen. “See look, there she is.”

“ She’s so cuuuute!”

I stopped cooing over the screen abruptly when I realized Dazai had successfully conned me into coming over to his desk to goof off.

And it wasn’t just that. I was sticking so close to him that our arms were actually touching and I’d nearly grabbed his hand over the mouse.

“I mean.”

I coughed and turned away from him .

“ Why are you showing me this, Dazai - san ?” I asked suspiciously. “Don’t tell me there’s something you want me to get you from this cafe? Is it the keychain? Do you want me to bring you the one you want because you’re too embarrassed to go into a cafe that sells cutesy things? Or...”

My eyes narrowed.

“ Do you want me to bring one back, regardless of which character I get specifically because it’s a choking hazard? Are your plans for suicide really that inane?”

“ Kusunoki- kun !” Dazai gasped, looking genuinely shocked. “I’m surprised at you! That’s really insensitive you know, calling my plans for suicide inane when you’ve just saved a man from killing himself yesterday . Have some respect!”

“ Respect?!”

I threw up my hands in disbelief.

“ You’re telling me to have some respect when you’re the one going on about this like it’s all some big joke—”

“ You’re the one treating my greatest aspiration as a joke!” Dazai whined.

“Ugh!!”

Spinning on my heel, I stormed back to my desk.

“I can’t believe you,” I grumbled under my breath, “getting me to get all cozy with you over my love of cute mascot characters.”

“ Ah, and there it is again,” Dazai sang, his voice pitching up into a lilt. “You’re talking like Kunikiiiida- kun again!”

“So what if I am?” I griped, sitting down heavily at my desk as several more papers slid out of the file tray and onto my open laptop. “ He’s a great guy and I look up to him and I happen to li—”

I closed my mouth immediately as Dazai’s expression went from amused to outright excited. His big brown eyes were sparkling.

“Go on,” he prodded me, leaning so far forward onto my inbox that I could see his bandaged elbows poking out over the top tray. “You were gonna say something, weren’t you? (“No!” I shrieked.) Oh, oh wait.”

He tapped his chin and frowned, thinking to himself for a moment.

“No, that won’t do,” he mumbled, looking away from me and at the floor. “Even if there’s nobody else here right now, we’re in the middle of the office. Anyone could walk in at any time and hear you say it. Yeah...”

Dazai nodded sagely to himself and returned his attention to me.

“I got it. Why don’t we go to the client booth, where we definitely won’t be overheard, and then you can practice saying it to me, first?”

I felt my mouth drop open.

“What?!”

“ Well, I don’t think it’s a bad idea,” Dazai drawled, absentmindedly running his finger over the bandages on his neck, as if to make sure they were staying fully in place. “I mean, you couldn’t even say it to me that day in the conference room and we were completely alone then too.”

He tilted his head to the side, his darkened bangs falling just so about his inquisitive brown eyes.

“How are you gonna say it to Kunikida- kun in person if you can’t even say it to me? ”

I bit my lip and looked away.

“I... I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“B-because!”

I felt my face growing hot again as I grabbed a random document and tried to figure out where it belonged.

“I just can’t, okay?! I’m not ready!”

“You sure about that?” Dazai asked, his tone changing to something softer. “ You certainly seem like you’re more comfortable with it than you used to be.”

He leaned forward on top of my tray tower.

“Kusunoki- kun ... Sometimes things happen that you’re not ready for. Things like developing feelings for someone... That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to act on those feelings.”

He let his chin sink into his hands.

“ Even if you’re not sure it’s right .”

The document slipped in my hands.

Dazai...?

I looked back up at him.

“Dazai- san...?”

“Hm?”

Was he still talking about me and Kunikida right now?

Falling silent, I found myself staring back into Dazai’s inscrutable brown eyes.

Or was he talking about something else...?

I cleared my throat.

“Why are you so interested in all this, anyway?” I asked quietly , shooting a discreet look around the office to make sure no one was paying attention.

Kyouka and Atsushi and Kunikida weren’t here right now, so Dazai and I were the only ones at our usual work stations...

Was it really safe to talk about it? Right here, right now?

“ Me?” Dazai asked, blinking at me. “Hmm, well...”

He leaned his cheek into his hand, smiling wistfully at me .

“Maybe I just feel like looking after my cute kohai today.”

Something tightened around my chest.

“Dazai-san...”

Why is it so hard to breathe when he smiles at me like that...?

“ Anyway,” he said, taking his elbows off my paper tray at last , “I wanted to show you the cafe because I thought it would be a nice date spot for you to visit with Kunikida - kun after the two of you become an item.”

“Wha—?!” I opened and closed my mouth several times before I could make another sound. “D-date spot?! Dazai-san, don’t you think you’re getting a little—?!”

“ Do I even want to know,” Kunikida’s tired voice suddenly rang out nearby, “why you’re talking about date spots right now? Dazai- san ? Kusunoki- kun ?”

I went completely rigid.

“K-Kunikida- san?! ”

“ Oh, Kunikiiida- kun !!”

Dazai instantly brightened up.

“Hey, great timing! Listen, there’s this cafe that my client’s been wanting us to check out and—”

“ Cut the crap , Dazai,” Kunikida growled. “ Can’t you see Kusunoki’s got enough on her plate right now, as it is? Stop distracting her and get back to work.”

“ Aw, you’re no fun, Kunikiiida- kun ,” Dazai drawled, typing away at his computer. “And here we were just trying to figure out what kind of food you’d want to order from the cafe. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say someone was jealous... ”

“Dazai-san!!”

I got to my feet as Kunikida immediately turned beet-red.

“What are you—?!”

“ Oh, would you look at that,” Dazai suddenly cried, “I’m getting a phone call—from a very important client! Excuse me, Kusunoki- kun , Kunikiiida- kun —but I have to take this.”

Grinning, he whipped his phone out of his pocket and put it to his ear.

“ Ah, by the way, Kusunoki- kun ?”

He winked .

“Remember what I said, okay? You can do it! I believe in you.”

And with that, he left his desk, his sing-song tone of voice making me think there wasn’t anyone on the other end of the line at all.

“ Yes? Hello?” he chirped, tucking his free hand into his pocket and walking out into the hall.

I slapped a hand over my face and groaned.

One of these days, I’m gonna make Dazai pay for all of his teasing. Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine—

“ Kusunoki- kun? ”

I snapped to attention.

“ Kunikida- san? ”

“I got a call this morning from the hospital,” he said, taking out his notebook and leafing through its pages. “It seems Professor Matsuyama is doing well and can now have visitors.”

He jutted his thumb back towards the door.

“I thought you might want to pay him a visit? I can drive you in about thirty minutes if you don’t mind waiting for me to finish some paperwork.”

“ Are you sure?” I asked, taken aback. “I can take the train if you’re busy.”

But Kunikida shook his head slightly.

“ Actually, I’d like to go with you. If that’s okay with you, that is.”

I felt my mouth dropping open.

In what world would that not be okay?

“That’s fine,” I said, nodding appreciatively, “but why? I took the case on my own and I was the one who, uh...”

I made a face.

“...knocked out the professor while trying to save him.”

“Er, that’s part of why,” Kunikida said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away . “While you did make that decision on your own, I, uh, can’t help but feel somewhat responsible for it, s ince I was the one who taught you how to do that throw in the first place. I am still technically your superior, after all and I feel like it would be bad form for me not to go. Oh! But—”

He quickly turned back to me, putting his hand out in a placating gesture.

“I’m not blaming you at all for what happened, don’t get me wrong! You still managed to get him away from that hole in the wall and in doing so, saved his life. The doctors tell me that other than the concussion, he was completely uninjured. Moreover...”

His gaze softened.

“He seems to be doing better. Mentally and emotionally. They’ll keep him on suicide watch for the next few days but the psychiatrist on staff seems to think he’ll be alright. So.”

He pulled out his chair and opened up his laptop.

“Give me thirty minutes and I’ll drive you to the hospital. Alright?”

My heart soared.

“Yes!”

Music 2

“ K-Kunikida- san ...”

I tightened my grip on my seat belt, wincing as another loud grinding noise echoed throughout the car.

“A-are you sure the car is—”

“Ah.”

I couldn’t see the blonde detective’s eyes behind the glare of his rectangular glasses in the bright midday light but his tone sounded far too calm for my liking.

“As I said earlier, Kusunoki- kun, ” he said as another loud groan rose up from under the seats. “The damage to the car was minimal. Rest assured, we won’t have a problem getting to the hospital.”

As if on cue, the car let out an ear-splitting squeal.

Kunikida’s jaw tightened.

“But I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to stop by a mechanic’s on the way back.”

“ Y-yeah...”

I tried not to wince when the car steadily slowed towards the intersection, the brakes letting out an unnecessarily loud squeal as we rolled to a stop.

Just how much damage had been done by our little trip yesterday?!

I swallowed uneasily.

“Uh. Kunikida- san ?”

“Yes?”

I tried not to make a face.

“Please, take the costs for the repair out of my paycheck.”

I sank down a little into my seat as the light turned green and the car let out another subtle whine.

“I was the one who asked you to drive us to the abandoned dormitory,” I mumbled, “and the car belongs to the Agency, so...”

“I already told you, Kusunoki- kun ,” Kunikida rumbled. “It’s not a problem. This was a necessary business expenditure and we should have more than enough—”

The car let out another loud groan.

“— just enough,” he amended, taking one hand off the wheel to adjust his glasses, “to cover the costs. But, I appreciate the offer.”

“Right...”

Trying as hard as I could to ignore the subsiding noises coming out of the car, I studied my tall, blonde companion.

I’d completely forgotten about the damage to the car until we’d started driving. From the sound of it, the vehicle was in pretty bad shape, despite how it looked, and I couldn’t help but feel a tiny stab of guilt every time it made a noise or shuddered.

And now that I was thinking about it, I had no idea what kind of shape the professor was going to be in. Sure, Kunikida had said the doctors were looking after him and maybe the paramedics had declared him to be okay while they were loading him into the ambulance but then, again...

I snuck a glance at Kunikida, whose eyes were still fixed straight ahead on the road (at least, that’s what I thought... I still couldn’t see his eyes thanks to the reflection from the sun and his expression was inappropriately neutral).

How okay could the professor actually be, if Kunikida felt compelled to come visit my client in the hospital as my superior?!

And wasn’t he a little too calm about the state of the car?!

I brought my hand to my face, absentmindedly chewing on the edges of my nails.

What if Kunikida had just been lying to make me feel better earlier? What if the professor was actually in a coma and Kunikida was coming to make a formal apology?

What if this was my last job and they were going to fire me?!

I clapped my hands over my face and let out a tiny whine.

“Kusunoki.”

I sank further into my seat at the sudden sound of Kunikida’s voice.

“... Yes?” I managed, my voice so small and muffled that I hardly recognized it as my own.

Here it comes... the real truth! He’s gonna let me have it for sure— ***

“ About yesterday,” Kunikida started, his voice suddenly faltering.

The corner of his lip turned downwards in a frown and without meaning to, I shrank away from him.

“ I’m sorry.”

I stopped cringing immediately.

“Wuh...?”

“ I shouldn’t have yelled at you after th at last training session,” Kunikida said, his voice weary. “ I realized my mistake the moment you walked out. The truth is, I was actually hoping to find you and apologize to you a lot sooner than this, but then all those things happened and I didn’t get the chance. Kusunoki- kun , I...”

His grip tightened on the steering wheel.

“ I’m really sorry. What I did was completely unprofessional and I’m afraid that I may have damaged our working relationship because of it. ”

He slumped a little in his seat.

“I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me. If you want to resume the training sessions, although I can understand your reasons if you don’t...”

He trailed off.

I felt a familiar squeeze in my chest as I looked upon his face.

If only I could reach over and take his hand right now...

My fingers twitched in my lap.

“Anyway,” Kunikida continued, looking down at the wheel, as the car slowly rolled to a soft, quiet stop at the next stop light. “What I wanted to say was this: if you want to come back and continue training with me, I’d be more than happy to keep up the lessons. Only if you feel comfortable enough to, that is.”

He sighed.

“Kunikida-san...”

So that was it...

I kept my hands where they were.

He was just worried about me again...

I felt a small smile coming to my face.

He’s always so kind, isn’t he...?

“ It’s okay...”

Kunikida twitched at the sound of my voice but didn’t look at me.

“Really, I mean that,” I said gently, staring back down at my hands. “ You were just doing your job and looking out for me. So...”

I glanced back up just as Kunikida turned towards me.

I smiled.

“It’s okay.”

Kunikida let out an audible sigh of relief.

“Thank goodness,” he mumbled, his shoulders visibly relaxing as he leaned back in the seat . “ Thank you, Kusunoki. For accepting my clumsy apology.”

“O-of course!” I babbled, a faint blush creeping up the back of my neck. “Thank you for talking to me! I—”

Ahead of us, the light turned green and I stopped talking immediately as the car began to move again and let out another loud, metallic shriek of protest.

“ I’m glad we could clear the air,” I mumbled at last as the car continued down the street.

“I’m glad too,” Kunikida breathed.

For a moment, there was silence, briefly punctuated by odd rattles coming from the machinery below the seats. Then, Kunikida spoke again.

“By the way, Kusunoki- kun ?”

“ Hm?”

“I meant what I said earlier,” he said, staring straight ahead at the road as we slowly turned onto the next street. “Knowing you, I’m sure you’re a little concerned about how the professor’s doing, given that he’s in the hospital and all. But let me reassure you, he’s fine.”

He shot me a quick little look over his shoulder as we pulled into a wide parking lot.

“The doctors told me there’s no need to worry about his physical condition. He merely suffered a minor concussion and a few bruises when you threw him back into the room. If anything, they wanted me to thank you.”

“Th-thank me?!” I sputtered, clutching at my seat belt.

“Yeah,” Kunikida said, allowing the car to roll to a stop.

He looked at me.

“They said if he’d managed to throw himself outside like he’d planned, he wouldn’t have made it.”

Kunikida smiled.

“You did good, Kusunoki. You really did. You solved your first solo case completely on your own and not only did you tie up all loose ends you came across, but you saved a man’s life in the process. Really, I’m...”

His smile grew and I swear I felt my heart stop dead in my chest.

“I’m so proud of you.”

Kunikida-san...!!

Mouth dry, my pulse pounding in my ears, I stared at the handsome blonde detective sitting next to me in the driver’s seat, smiling like I’d never seen him smile before.

In my mind’s eye, I saw Dazai winking at me as he scurried away to take his fake phone call.

“Remember what I said, Kusunoki-kun! You can do it!”

I swallowed dryly, my pulse racing even faster.

“K-Kunikida- san ...”

I clutched at the seat belt across my chest, feeling like my heart would burst.

“I...”

“I believe in you...!” Dazai’s voice called.

Gripping my seat belt tightly in my hands, I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Kunikida- san , I—!”

The car suddenly let out another loud, obnoxious whine.

“ Ah... ”

Kunikida coughed a little and reached over to turn off the engine. While I was trying to work myself up into confessing, we’d pulled into a parking space and had stopped entirely.

I couldn’t help the weird strangled noise coming out of my throat as Kunikida suddenly slammed his foot down against the floor to stop the residual noise from the car.

“Sorry about that, Kusunoki- kun ,” he mumbled awkwardly.

He tilted his head toward the window, to indicate the large, white building outside.

“But, I think we’re here.”

He took the car keys out of the ignition and pocketed them, swapping them out for his notebook.

Kunikida glanced at me.

“Were you saying something?”

I let go of the seat belt and sighed.

“N-no.”

Maybe next time...

I shot him an awkward smile, my cheeks burning softly in the silence.

“ Don’t worry about it ...”

Music 3

I gingerly knocked on the door to the room, a bouquet of flowers clutched in my free hand.

“P-Professor Matsuyama?”

The sound of chatter in the room died immediately.

Nomura waved to me from his place by the window.

“Kusunoki- san !” he called, his tone cheerful. “ Please come in, we were just talking about you!”

“O-oh, is that so...” I mumbled, stepping softly into the room as Kunikida followed along.

“ Kusunoki- san .”

Professor Matsuyama sat up a little in his bed as I approached, his pale gray hospital gown shifting slightly with his movements. He looked tired and there was a large bandage stuck to the middle of his forehead but other than that, he seemed perfectly fine.

The professor smiled.

“ O h! D affodils,” he chuckled, taking the arrangement from me. “Did you get these from that flower shop in town? Or—”

“They’re from the one down the road,” I said quickly, as Kunikida shot me a questioning glance (I never told him I’d followed the professor under Nomura’s direction or that Dazai had encouraged it). “I hope they’re okay...”

Professor Matsuyama nodded at me, the crow’s feet prominent at the corners of his eyes as his smile widened.

“They’re very thoughtful, thank you.”

“I also brought this,” I mumbled, reaching into my bag for the dusty globe, the one that the professor had sent me just a few days ago . “I thought you might want it back.”

But the professor shook his head.

“Keep it,” he said, placing one hand on its yellowed surface and gently pushing it back towards me. “I said it was a thank you present, didn’t I? And I meant it. Besides.”

His dark eyes twinkled.

“I get the feeling Kei would want you to have it too.”

“Professor...”

But before I could ask him what he meant, Professor Matsuyama turned to Kunikida, who was standing just behind me.

“You must be Detective Kunikida,” he said, inclining his head in a formal bow as Kunikida stepped forward beside me and did the same. “ Thank you very much for coming to visit me today as well. I appreciate the gesture.”

“How are your injuries?” Kunikida asked, as the two men straightened back up. “The doctors informed us that you’re not pressing any formal charges?”

I jerked back.

Formal charges?! Wait, why didn’t Kunikida mention anything about that back there in the car? Is this why he was really here?!

I felt the blood draining from my face.

As I thought, he really was still treating me with kid gloves and there really were going to be consequences later...! I’m gonna get written up later for sure...!!

But to my surprise, Professor Matsuyama only laughed.

“No, no, of course not,” he chuckled. “Why would I, when your subordinate’s quick thinking and technical skill are the only reason I’m still alive?”

He looked from Kunikida to me fondly and I tried not to make a face.

“That was quite a throw she managed to pull off. Incapacitating me to prevent me from leaping out the third story with only minimal injury?”

Sweat was pouring down the back of my head .

The lack of injury was purely an accident. If things had gone a little worse, I might’ve actually broken the professor’s neck, and then there really would be hell to pay...

Professor Matsuyama nodded slowly as a nervous-looking Nomura rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

“Impressive.”

“Th-thank you...” Kunikida mumbled, sounding every bit as awkward as I felt as I rushed to bow next to him. “ As a gesture of apology, the Agency would be more than willing to pay for your hospital fees.”

“That’s a very nice gesture,” the professor said kindly, “and while I appreciate it, I don’t believe there is very much you need to compensate us for.”

He tapped the bandage on his forehead with a small smile.

“I don’t believe they charge a fortune for things like this. On the other hand, Nomura- kun tells me you’ve sustained quite the amount damage to your vehicle during your attempt to rescue me.”

I shot Nomura a look, which he deftly avoided.

“I believe my severance can help cover whatever Nomura- kun wouldn’t be able to. If that’s alright.”

Kunikida bowed again.

“ Thank you, sir. Again, we appreciate it.”

The professor gestured to the empty chair next to Nomura.

“Would either of you like to take a seat? Now that I’ve been up and about for some time, I feel I could use a chat.”

I felt a subtle pressure on my back as Kunikida pushed me forward with one large hand.

“I get the feeling there’s a little more you want to talk about before we wrap up today’s visit,” he murmured, his voice low in my ear. “Take your time, okay? I’ll be outside if you need me.”

He straightened back up, taking his olive-green notebook out of his vest.

“Then, please excuse me.”

Another set of bows were exchanged and Kunikida left, leaving me alone with Nomura and the professor. Not knowing what else to do, I took a seat.

“Kusunoki-san.”

“ Sir?”

“ Nomura- kun and I were talking earlier,” the professor said, “about some things. I believe I asked you before when we were still in the dormitory but...”

He frowned, studying me.

“How did you find out where I was? Nomura- kun mentioned that you have an Ability of some sort, as do many of the detectives who work at the Agency but he seemed unsure of exactly how it happened?”

Ah...

President Fukuawa had mentioned at this morning’s meeting that because I was still technically in hiding from the Port Mafia, even though it seemed they weren’t looking for me, no one was to breathe a word of my Ability to the outside world.

I cleared my throat.

“ I’m afraid that’s classified, sir,” I said, inclining my head slightly. “ We asked Nomura- kun to sign an NDA at the beginning when I took his case but...”

“Oh, well in that case,” the professor agreed, as Nomura suddenly blanched next to him.

It looks like he forgot...

“ Forget I asked,” he said, handing the bouquet of daffodils to Nomura to be placed in a vase. “We have much better things to talk about than the incident itself.”

Right...

I chewed the inside of my cheek.

I guess that’s what he wants to call it from now on...

“ Professor,” I started, making the man perk up. “I’m glad to see you seem to be doing okay. How much longer do you think you’re going to be here?”

“Only a day or two,” the professor responded, glancing out the window. “The psychiatrist said he wants to keep me on observation for a little while longer, but it shouldn’t be too much.”

“I see...” I said, my thoughts going to Natsuki, who I hadn’t seen since I spoke to her in the graveyard that day. “Then, about your wife...”

“Natsuki was told that I’d had a bad fall while taking a hike on campus,” the professor said, as Nomura looked away. “I asked Nomura- kun to call her and tell her that he’d found me wandering around the woods behind the library and that I’d hit my head on a low-hanging branch. From the sound of it, she seemed to find it plausible.”

“ Oh...”

I lowered my gaze.

So he really was planning to keep it a secret. Even now...

“ You’re not going to tell her, are you?”

“No, I don’t think I should,” the professor said, his voice low. “I’ve caused her enough grief as it is. You were right about what you said back at the dormitory, Kusunoki- san . Natsuki would indeed be terribly upset if she were to find out what I’d almost done.”

He looked back at Nomura and then at me.

“I think I’d be doing her a kindness by not telling her the truth.”

I bit my lip.

But isn’t that what got you here in the first place? Not talking to your wife? When you both suffer because of the same things?

“ Ku sunoki - san ...” Nomura spoke up. “ I know how you feel.”

He glanced at the man sitting in the bed.

“I tried talking to him about this earlier too, but...”

I shook my head.

“No, I understand,” I sighed. “It’s not our place to interfere in something that might impact their marriage.”

I looked at the older man.

“ I won’t say anything to Natsuki- san ,” I promised. “But... I do think it might be helpful...”

I pictured the faded, white chrysanthemums the professor had brought lying side by side with the Adonis blossoms Natsuki had brought on Kei’s grave.

“To the both of you... if you were one day to change your mind.”

The professor nodded.

“I’ll talk it over with the psychiatrist.”

I glanced at Nomura.

“Sorry, Nomura- san . I think we’re going to have to let him and Natsuki- san sort it out—”

“ Then it’s a good thing I already knew.”

All three of us turned to the door.

“Matsuyama- san! ”

I rose from my seat as Matsuyama Natsuki stepped into the room.

“ You think I’d believe,” she said softly, her long lashes lowered over her doe-like brown eyes, “that my husband, the kind of man who writes up an entire schedule and pins it to the refrigerator before he goes out for the day , would go hiking in the woods without leaving me so much as a note?”

She shook her head gently and smiled.

“I don’t think so.”

“ Natsuki...” the professor breathed, his eyes wide behind his thick glasses as his wife brushed past the empty bed by the door and floated over to us, looking graceful in her pale shawl and dress.

She stopped at the foot of the bed, next to me and bowed slightly.

“We meet again,” she said kindly, as I nodded my head back. “Good to see you again, Nomura- kun , Kusunoki- san .”

Her eyes shone as she turned her gaze to me.

“Thank you so much for taking care of my husband.”

She bowed even lower.

“I don’t know how I could possibly thank you.”

“ Matsuyama- san ...”

I watched as she straightened up. The professor swallowed and adjusted his glasses.

“ Natsuki... How much did you hear?”

“Everything,” Natsuki said quietly , closing her eyes. “ I arrived just as that tall man in the hallway stepped out of this room. He told me I could go in but I insisted on staying out there so that I could listen.”

She opened her eyes, her expression downcast and sighed.

“I apologize for having to behave in this way, but I suspected something was wrong from the moment Nomura- kun called. I realized that if I wanted to get the full story, I was going to have to do some sneaking around.”

She brought her hand up to her mouth and let out a tiny giggle.

“I suppose I could apply to work at your Agency too, if this keeps up,” she joked, to which I could only make a strange face.

She seems like a capable person, but I cannot picture Natsuki catching bombers and fighting against the Port Mafia. Moreover, would Dazai have the audacity to hit on a married woman...?

Seemingly oblivious to my train of thought, Natsuki turned back to her husband.

“Shin.”

Professor Matsuyama sat up in his bed.

“Yes, dear?”

“I have something I want to reveal to you as well. I’ve been visiting Kei’s grave at least once a year since the time that he died.”

Professor Matsuyama’s eyes widened.

“You what?”

“Usually on his birthday so I can bring him a gift.”

“Ah...”

The professor looked away.

“So, it’s as I thought,” he mumbled. “You really do still have feelings for—”

“ I do not,” Natsuki declared, cutting him off.

Her voice was loud and clear.

“Please rest assured, Shin. The only person I have feelings for at this time is you . While Kei and I may have had feelings for each other at different points in time, please remember...”

ED Theme

** I heard a loud sniff.

Shocked, Nomura and I turned to Natsuki to see that there were tears in her big brown eyes. Before I knew what was happening, she tossed her bag on the ground and threw herself onto her husband’s bed.

“M-Matsuyama- san?! ” I squawked, panicking alongside Nomura.

“The one I chose to marry was you! ” she cried , burying her face in the covers. “I love you, Shin! Don’t you dare try to leave me again!”

And without another word, she dissolved into a fit of noisy sobs.

“Shiiiiinnnnn—!!”

As the professor put an uneasy hand on the back of Natsuki’s head, smoothing back her long, sandy hair with one large hand, I patted Nomura on the shoulder and inclined my head out towards the door to indicate we should leave.

Thankfully, Nomura seemed to get the message.

“ Er , please excuse us.”

But as Nomura dashed out ahead of me, his face beet-red, I heard Professor Matsuyama calling out to me over the sound of his wife’s wails.

“Kusunoki- san? ”

I turned.

“Y-yes?”

“ About that globe...”

Professor Matsuyama smiled.

“I don’t believe I got the chance to tell you this earlier,” he said as Natsuki continued hiccuping into the covers. “But the real reason I’m giving it to you?”

He paused.

“I don’t know what kind of power your Ability grants you, but back then, maybe a split second before you grabbed me, I thought I heard a voice in my head...”

His voice broke and I realized with a start that there were tears in his eyes too. They caught the light reflected from his glasses and seemed to shine in the bright sunlight streaming in from the windows.

“It was Kei. Before I felt your hand on my wrist, I felt his. I felt his hand tugging on mine, as if he was trying to pull me back from the brink. He... he tried to stop me.”

He took his glasses off for a moment and wiped at his eyes with his free hand, his other hand never leaving his wife’s shoulder.

“I just wanted to tell you that before you left. That globe is a thank you, from both Kei and me. You have our thanks. And...”

The professor paused to run his hand through his wife’s hair one more time.

“Natsuki’s too. Thank you again, and take care.”

I bowed low.

And as I turned back towards the door, leaving the Matsuyama’s to their time alone, I heard the professor utter a small, soft reassurance.

“I love you too, Natsuki...”

He bent down and kissed the top of her head.

“ I promise... I’ll never hide anything from you again...” ***

Stepping out into the hall, I found Kunikida waiting there for me, his familiar olive-green notebook held out in front of him in one large hand and his back against the wall. His long legs were crossed in front of him, his expression utterly placid and composed and as I followed the line of his gaze as he read through his notes, he seemed to realize I was there and closed his notebook.

Those beautiful gray-green eyes looked down towards me and I felt a sudden but subtle twinge in my chest as I looked up at my handsome mentor.

“The one I chose was you!” Natsuki’s voice echoed back to me. “I love you!”

My face warmed.

“ Ready to go?” Kunikida asked, to which I nodded.

“Yeah. Looks like we’re all done here.”

He checked his watch.

“Right on time,” he said, walking towards me as we headed down the hall together. “Well done, Kusunoki. I’m glad I didn’t have to remind you not to tell them about your Ability back there. For a second, I was worried.”

“I pay attention at the meetings,” I mumbled, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

The globe clunked noisily next to me in my bag and I hoisted the whole thing a little higher up so it wouldn’t be so loud.

“Speaking of which, I actually wanted to ask you about something,” he said, as we came to the elevators and stepped inside.

The doors closed and he shot a curious glance down at me.

“How did you remove yourself from your vision when you were using your Ability on Nomura?” he asked. “I realized when I was in the client booth with you that I didn’t hear the sound of a timer and that your phone in your bag never went off. Does this mean that you’ve figured out how to stop or cancel your Ability somehow? Or that it’s actually evolved again.”

He took his notebook back out to write but I shook my head .

“ I don’t think so,” I mumbled, rubbing the back of my head. “While I was in there, I didn’t actually make an effort to pull myself out. I wasn’t sure how much I was going to need to see. And in the heat of the moment, I completely forgot to set a timer or an alarm.”

Kunikida frowned.

He seemed like he wanted to chide me for being reckless again but he held his tongue.

“Then, how did you do it?”

“That’s the thing,” I said slowly. “I... didn’t. I think the reason I got pushed out had something to do with Nomura-san’s mental state.”

Kunikida raised an eyebrow.

“ His mental state ?”

I nodded.

“Y-yeah. When I have my visions, I step into the consciousness of the person I’m touching. Not only do I see what they’re seeing, but I feel what they feel. I think in this case, Nomura- san’s feelings were so strong that they actually pushed me out.”

I looked down at my hands as the elevator began to descend.

“I felt it... I felt his devastation. Nomura- san was so upset by the death of his mentor that he had a full-on breakdown. He was so upset that when I came out, I was still disoriented.”

“But your eyes—”

“I think,” I mumbled sheepishly, “that had more to do with the amount of time I was in there, rather than the actual contents of the vision. Maybe.”

I turned towards him with a nervous smile as the elevator pinged.

“I guess we’ll see, huh?”

Kunikida sighed.

“I guess so.”

He tucked his hands into his pockets and walked through the open doors.

“Just remember to be careful from now on, okay?”

“Yes!”

And as I watched him walk out of the hospital doors and towards the parking lot outside, I thought of the professor’s words.

“I’ll never hide anything from you again.”

Gripping my bag tightly in my hands, I whispered something quietly under my breath.

“Kunikida- san ... I love you.”

Realizing I hadn’t followed him outside, Kunikida turned back towards me.

“Kusunoki?”

I shook my head and smiled .

“It’s nothing.”

Next week...

I felt my smile growing bigger. Something was dancing inside my chest.

“Shall we get going? To the mechanic’s first, maybe?”

By the end of next week.

Kunikida nodded.

“Sounds good,” he said, checking his watch again . “I’ve set aside exactly forty-five minutes for it.”

I will confess my love to Kunikida Doppo by the end of next week.

I couldn’t suppress the tiny giggle as I stepped out through the hospital doors into the bright sunlight to join him .

“You got it.”

[softguks]

19 from the prompt list with badboy!shawn?

19. Can I have your number?

a/n: i love you Rosy, i’m sorry, it’s crappy, but i was in a rush. :))) @curlsofshawn

Y/N clutches her book tightly to her chest, pushing the frame of her reading glasses up her nose as she hurries along to her lecture. She’s going to be late soon, if she doesn’t-

“Oomph!”, Y/N finds herself colliding into a tall wall, er...actually a rather tall and handsome person. When she peers upward she is met with the cold and unforgiving face of the notorious badboy and heartbreaker known all over the school. The Shawn Mendes.

“Ah! I’m so sorry, I just, I was in a rush and I didn’t see where I was going and I had a bad day because I spilled the coffee all over myself and I wasn’t thinking, god, I’m so sorry!”, she’s frantically apologizing profusely, cheeks red with embarrassment when she hears his lights chuckle.

Instead of the look of disgust she was expecting, she’s met with a soft smile and sweet honey eyes. His curls are a bit messier today, black tank top slightly mussed, black skinny jeans rough against his thick thighs.

“I’m sorry. Are you alright? I should’ve been more careful, I’m sorry. What’s your name?”

“Y-Y/N.”

“That’s a pretty name for a pretty girl”, he flashes her a wink, causing her face to darken in red even more as she giggles, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. Her eyes flicker to the large clock and her orbs widen in fear before she sprints off, leaving him with a “sorry i have to go! see you later.”

His face falls with disappointment as he trudged along, a single thought in his mind. I didn’t get her number.

The next time they run into each other, is at the Corner Cafe, where coffee cups are cooling and stacks of pancakes are steaming into the air. It smells of cinnamon and freshly ground coffee beans, something warm and inviting. They chat at a table, her eyes wide with excitement, his eyes sweet with shyness.

Y/N finds herself catching feelings, but she’s afraid to fall any deeper. He might’ve been sweet, but that didn’t mean he liked her too. Her heart thuds with a drop, sadness and disappointment coursing through her as she imagines the look of rejection on his face. She sighs, wondering if she should cut things off for the better of both of them.

“Hey, , Y/N....?”

“Yeah?”, her pretty face snaps up instantly to meet his shy face, lips curled into a sheepish smile, cheeks rosy and ears red.

“C-Can I get your number? And maybe take you out on a real date? I mean you don’t have to! I just really wanted to get to know you better.”

She laughs softly, beaming up at him as she nods her head, “I’d love to, Shawn.”

Her heart swells with indescribable happiness, and as her heart flutters between breaths, she can’t help but think that the notorious bad boy of the school, is actually a big softie.

Her softie.

[angelic-holland]

Seeing the Thing 10

Summary:  I want you all to myself this time. Conflicted looks good on me. I'm trying desperately. I want you all to myself this time. I want to give you space but the amount between us is wrecking me. 

Word Count: 2.9k

Warnings: none! 

A/N: yay for early upload!

“Morning,” you hear a gruff voice say and your eyes widen when you look up, seeing Tom’s face squished into the pillow, his arm around your middle, yours were squeezed between the two of you. 

“Hi,” you squeak, brain running through the events of the night before.

“You look like you needed sleep but I wasn’t sure when your first class was, it’s only eight now so you can go back to sleep if you wa-,”

“Did you say something last night?”

“What?” “I was falling asleep, and you were saying something, or at least I thought you said something but maybe I wa-,”

He cuts you off with a quick kiss, morning breath and all. 

Your nose wrinkles slightly and he laughs, “yes, I uh, I did.”

“Oh, for real?”

“I mean, did you really think I hated you?”

“No I just,”

“I did hate you for a while, always felt like you were stealing my best friend from me-,”

“He’s my best friend too.” 

“I know but he was my best friend first-,”

“Does that really matter?”

“I just mean that-,”

“I need to get to class,” you cut him off, you don’t want to hear about how Harrison was his friend first and that you stole him or some stupid territorial shit boys went through. You also wanted to get to the bottom of what his “I like you” meant. You figured beneath the gloomy anger in his eyes and the hostility when you were around other people that he didn’t hate you. You knew from the way his neck would stretch so your lips fit perfectly with his that he didn’t hate you. You knew from the way his fingers ran along your collarbone and he asked you questions to keep your mind off of your panicked thoughts that he didn’t hate you. You just wish you had the guts to ask him how much he liked you.

“Yeah, me too,” Tom nods, sitting up slightly. He chuckled and you looked to see your hand still curled around his shirt.

“Sorry bout that,” you let go of his shirt and he shrugs.

“Didn’t mind.”

“Alright, get lost, needa get to class.”

You watch as Tom gets up. You look down and see his clothes on your body. 

“Here I can-,”

“It’s fine, as much as I want you to get naked right now it’ll make us both late for class. Just give them back at some point, or keep them, whatever.”

“Ok, I uh, yeah,” you reply before he gives you a small smile and is gone.

Keep them.

They were comfortable, cozy, you wanted to stay in them as you grabbed Ben and Jerry’s and watched Netflix in bed, but instead you had your psychology of childhood class at 9:45. 

After class you took your coffee to the quad and sat with Gianna underneath a huge oak tree. 

“Everything good?” She watches as you bury your head in your hands. 

“I uh, might’ve fucked up.”

“What did you and Tom do?”

“Hey! Why’s it gotta be about that?”

“Because, you uh, confirmed it stupid, you get all defensive when I’m right about something.”

“Shush, yes, okay, I may have fucked up there.”

“Oh my god you slept with him, please tell me you slept with him.”

“Shhh! Jesus Christ anyone could be walking around okay?” Your eyes dart around to the students walking across the quad, others laying on the grass near you, book or phone in hand. 

“Well, did you?” Gianna pokes your shoulder and you grumble, flopping onto your stomach.

“It was bad.”

“Oh shit really? All I’ve ever heard was how good of a lay he is.”

“It wasn’t him, it was definitely me.”

“Why? Couldn’t get in the right mood?”

“I was in the mood, you know, but you know how sometimes you just get distracted and think of other things? And sometimes they just can’t find your g-spot? I dunno, it was a combination of all these things and I feel bad because I uh,”

“What? Please don’t tell me you faked it.”

“I did.”

“Girl..”

“I know, I know, it’s dumb and it doesn’t make me feel good to do but it usually works and they normally think I get there but Tom knew.”

“Oh my god, what did he say?”

“He was mad.”

“Understandable. So are you a thing?”

“No.”

“No?!” Gianna all but shouts.

“No, I don’t know, he uh, said he liked me? So he uh doesn’t hate me anymore,” you laugh weakly.

You feel the smack of Gianna’s hand against your shoulder, “Hey!”

“Of course he doesn’t hate you, he had sex with you dummy.”

“I guess but-,”

“And what do you want from him?”

“Huh?”

“Like I want Harrison to hold my hand when we walk to classes and whatever, but I don’t want any of that cheesy romance stuff, he tried buying me flowers one day but I told him he better spend his money on something useful like food for us to eat.”

“I dunno, I guess I don’t want flowers, that kinda cheesy whatever, besides they die way too quickly anyways. It’s not like he’s- like we’re- I don’t know. Okay, hear me out, you know that scene in Princess Bride?”

“I know every scene in the Princess Bride you’ve made me watch it like five times.”

“It’s the best movie ever made so of course you should see it at least five times.”

“You’re pushing it.”

“Okay, hear me out G, you know right after Wesley saves Buttercup from Vizzini? And they’re arguing on the hillside.”

“Yes.”

“And she is pissed at him when he reveals he ‘killed’ Wesley? And pushes him down the hill?”

“Are you saying you want to push Tom down a hill? Because I totally understand that but-,”

“No, and then he says ‘as you wish’ and it’s everything that Buttercup needs to hear?”

“So some sort of declaration of feelings?”

“I guess so? Then I’d be willing to fall down that hill too but I just don’t want to get in over my head without anything to show for it.”

“Sometimes you just gotta, you know, be like ‘hey! hot boy! I like you!’ But if you’d feel more comfortable waiting for him to say something, by all means. I wasn’t exactly subtle when I flirted with Harrison, but in all honesty I should’ve just been like ‘hey dork be my boyfriend’ but I didn’t. So you do you.”

“Thanks G.”

“And besides, it’s normal for guys to not know how to get you off right away, but you can’t just assume they won’t ever get there, sometimes you just need to teach them.”

“Thing is, Tom’s definitely not used to that, not being able to get a girl off, so uh, I don’t know if he���d be down for a little lesson.”

“You’re truly so god damn clueless sometimes, if he likes you, he’s going to want to make you feel good, okay? Even if that takes all night or several tries. It shouldn’t matter.”

“I think I already bruised his ego enough.”

“Nah, he’s got plenty,” Gianna winked with a shove of your shoulder, “go get some.”

After your conversation with Gianna, the day passed in a blur, one coffee into the next, lecture hall after lecture hall until you found yourself in the back corner of the library, curled up in a ball in your chair, rebooting Qlab for what felt like the 30th time today.

You groaned before shoving your computer forward, giving you enough space to rest your head on the table. You knew logically you should go to bed. Just because the library had an all night study lounge and cafe didn’t mean you should spend all your time here. That didn’t stop you from using it though. As Qlab finally opened and stayed open you set to work mixing the sounds for the scene in the bar, light chatter with Toxic playing softly in the background. In your efforts to not get your asses sued for copyright you found a cover that was somewhat distorted. You checked the time on your phone, your brain starting to turn to mush. When was the last coffee you had? Lunch time? After your third class? That was… 10 hours ago. 

You set to work scrubbing the distortion from the Toxic sound bite, planning on grabbing a coffee after you finished this bit.

***

Tom saw you working at the corner table out of the corner of his eye. He was typing his term paper on his laptop, getting distracted each time you let out a soft sigh or would lightly tap your hand against the desk. A few other tired students sat around the section of the library that was opened this late, coffee cups and paper strewn over desks.

He noticed you didn’t have a coffee next to you and shut his laptop, packing his bag before walking over to the Night Owl cafe.

“One vanilla misto and a royal English please.”

He glanced over his shoulder as the woman behind the counter made the drinks, watching as you pushed the computer forward and rested your head on the desk. 

He chuckled softly at your small groan, turning quickly when you sat back up, typing away again.

“Thanks,” he pays for the drinks and carries them over to you.

***

You glance up as a mug is set in front of you, taking one earbud out.

“Hi,” Tom says, standing awkwardly at the side of the desk with another mug in his hands.

“Hi,” you nod at the coffee, “this for me?”

“Yeah, uh, it’s nothing, just lady at the Night Owl thought I said vanilla misto when I said royal English so she made this and I wasn’t going to drink it but I saw you were here so I figured you might want it?” Tom rambles and you stare at him confused.

There was definitely no way that’s what happened, but if Tom felt better telling you that than admitting he just bought you a goddamn coffee then you’d let it slide.

“Thanks,” you smile after a moment of him tapping his foot and you blinking out of it, taking a sip of the coffee.

“Yeah, yeah, so uh, working on homework?” He asks and you gesture to the seat next to you.

“Nope, trying to overlay this track with another for the show.”

You watch as Tom shuffled behind you, setting his cup of tea down and sitting down.

“What does that mean? Like you’re mixing two sounds?”

“Sort of, see this clip here?” You point to the track of Toxic.

He nods, you don’t catch his eyes glancing at you, glimpsing at the way your hair shaped your face or your ear peeking out from your hair, the way your fingers would tap along your cheek as you explained whatever it was you were explaining to him. He most definitely zoned out because you turned, eyes squinting as you frowned.

“So?”

“Cool.”

“I asked if you wanted to listen to it.”

“Oh, yeah, sure, sorry,” Tom sets his mug down as you hand him one earbud. 

He attempts to put it in his ear while you put the other in yours. You both realize you’ve got the wrong one and you lift your hand to take the earpiece out, laughing quietly in the otherwise silent library. His fingers brush against yours as he takes the earbud and you feel heat rise to your cheeks as he hands you the correct piece.

“Thanks,” you mumble and he nods, placing the right one in his ear before dropping his hand next to your laptop. 

You eye his hand, fingers tapping against the table as you press play.

The two of you listen to the sound cue, you replay it as Tom’s pinky runs along your arm. 

“What do you think?” 

You can feel the goosebumps rise along your arms, he can as well, a shiver, something that’s rising above the surface that neither of you will comment on.

“Do you want to hear the chatter over the music or the other way around?”

“See, I’m not sure, I think that having it playing underneath the chatter, at least people will hear the instrumentals of it and hopefully understand the point I’m trying to make. Because the scene isn’t supposed to be a wild club with roaring music, it’s just a small bar in a hole in the wall town in Maine.”

“Then I think you’ve made your point.”

“You sure? Is it too clunky? I feel like it doesn’t blend well enough and Harrison’s gonna think it sounds ridiculous and I’ll have to redo it and then I’ll spend another night here when all I wanna do is go back to sleep and-,”

You didn’t realize you had worked yourself up, breath coming in short harsh gasps, your hands shaking against the keyboard until Tom’s hand curled around your wrist, sliding down to rest against the top of your hand.

“It’s okay, I think it sounds great. Then again I don’t know much about this stuff but it doesn’t take a genius to know that this sounds fantastic.”

“You sure?” 

Tom nods, his hand just a firm presence on your upper arm.

“Okay, yeah, I uh, I’ll wait to hear it in the space before I make a decision but yeah.”

You relax against his touch, playing the next clip.

“Is that Cupid?” Tom grins, listening to the beginning notes.

“Yep, Harrison gave me a very specific set of songs for transitions, I think this is pretty fitting going from Sad and Glad to This Hurts.”

“Hmm, fitting. What other songs do you have?”

“Thank God I Found You.”

“Okay, that’s between this one and Getting it Back? Right?”

“Yeah, hey, why don’t you sound design?”

“Because these buttons and whatever? I have no idea what’s happening on your laptop,” Tom laughs, resting his head on your shoulder. 

“You’re tired,” you comment.

“Only a little,” he rubs his eyes with his other hand.

“Come on, you should go to bed.”

“No, wanna listen to the music,” Tom whines and you roll your eyes.

“I don’t want you drooling on my shoulder,” you laugh, nudging him slightly.

“Fine, at least let me walk you back, don’t want you crashing in two hours and sleeping here.”

“You’re right,” you sigh, closing your laptop.

Tom hands you your headphones and waits as you pack up your bag. 

He brings the mugs back to the Night Owl before falling in step with you out of the library. 

“I have a question,” Tom asks, the backs of his knuckles brushing against the back of your own. You feel his finger twitch against yours, almost instinctively reaching for it. All it would take was the twitch of yours and you’d feel the warmth of his hand in yours. 

But it’s late and you’re tired and you don’t want to run into anyone you might know, anyone who might get back to Harrison that you and Tom were holding hands. So you take a slight step to the side so your hands aren’t even brushing anymore. 

“Okay, shoot.”

And Tom notices, of course he notices, even just the slightest movement that brings you farther away from him. And he huffs out a sigh before crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Nevermind, it’s uh, not important.”

“Oh.”

And silence fills the air, cold and biting like the wind, waiting for either of you to say something as you crossed the quad, walking across the street, no traffic at midnight on a Monday.

“Everything you, uh, say is important,” you mumble as you increase your pace, damn it, now you just sound like a mom trying to comfort her insecure kid.

Tom’s silent as you round the corner to your building.

“Okay thanks for uh, for walking me back,” you speak up as you get to the landing on the stairs for his floor.

“Anytime,” Tom smirks, dropping his arms, leaning his head to meet yours, he kisses you, lips insistent as his hands grip your shoulders, pushing you back against the wall.

“Stop,” you push him off, brushing past him and up the stairs.

“What? I can’t kiss you?” Tom asks angrily, feet stomping behind you.

“Not here! Not in public! Especially right where Harrison might show up!”

“Would that be such a bad thing? If Harrison knew?” Tom asks, watching as you fumble with the lock on your door before pushing it open.

“Because!” You try to keep your voice down but everything was just so frustrating. You wanted to tell him, you really did, tell him you were scared Harrison would think it’s a bad idea, whatever this was.

“Go on, tell me,” Tom follows you into your room, closing the door behind him.

Part of you is aching to tell him to leave, to just leave you be and let yourself wallow in the anguish of unspoken words. 

The other part sets your backpack on the ground by your bed, taking a step back as Tom steps forward.

“Cat got your tongue?” He laughs, watching as you sway from foot to foot.

“Because if I tell Harrison, then it’s-,”

“What?”

One step backward from you, legs pressed against the edge of your bed.

He walks towards you, a glint of a smile on his face as he sets his backpack on the ground.

“Then it’s real?” He asked, tilting his head to the side as his hand rested on your hip.

“Maybe,” you breathe out as he pulls you close, body flush with his.

“Oh darling, it was real since the first time I kissed you,” Tom smiles that dazzling smile that you’re sure wooed every girl he’s ever been with because it was starting to do the same to you, stomach doing nervous flip flops as he kissed you.

Real.

****

Taglist: @tom-hollands-blog @unicornsyy @practicallylivesonline @jackiehollanderr @khhbby @amyalpha @peterbxrnes @relise-thefury @euphorictom @lkd2505 @fandomdarlings @saysomethingspiderman @cvrecem @legendsofwholock @pumpkinsinnerpie @particularmila @darktwistydiamond @aestheticqueen18 @marveltho @lunatic--charm @deathofmissjackson @nedthegay @ad-iuficium @peteunderoos @maybemona @mybesttobobcratchit @superheroesaremytea @hollandjmc

[keanureevesisbae]

“Never out of practice” - Chapter 1

Summary: When Darcie’s father loses an important case, a killer seeks revenge, by kidnapping the entire Angel family. Though John thought that he was officially retired, he has to save his Darcie and her family, because he can’t lose her.

John Wick x OFC Darcie

Word count: 2.8k

Warnings: Mentions of a miscarriage.

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

It’s officially October. I’ve always really liked it when it’s autumn again. The only thing is that it’s getting darker earlier on and I’ve never been too keen on the dark. The first year when I owned the cafe, I would be so terrified walking to the bus, that eventually I kept hailing cabs, because dealing with that stress on top of owning a cafe, was too much for me at the time.

Thankfully I have a very tough boyfriend now, who loves to pick me up. Today is no different, except that we go to my parents. For the first time in what seemed like forever, my parents have a night off and they really wanted us over for a late dinner.

Today it’s Jennie’s turn to close off, but somehow Raye managed to stick around. ‘When is your next date?’ Jennie asks.

‘Tomorrow,’ Raye answers, ‘but I think about cancelling.’

I stop in the middle of cleaning a table. ‘Jen, did I hear that correctly? Raye Clarke is thinking about cancelling a date?’

Jennie nods. ‘I’m still a little shocked. I can’t believe this is happening.’

‘Very funny,’ Raye growls, looking actually annoyed. Geez, what is up with her? ‘It’s just, he sounds so stupid. I was hoping his looks would make up for it. His looks were the only reason that I swiped right. But talking to him and calling with him, he is really stupid.’

For Raye to say something like that, means that either something really bad happened or that she is growing. ‘Are you okay?’ I ask.

She sighs. ‘My brother is coming home next week. My parents are really looking forward to it and they keep calling me, demanding I should at least stop by.’

Jennie and I exchange looks. We know Alex Clarke pretty well. He was about a year older than us, but somehow always managed to bully us through high school. I never understood why a nice girl like Raye had a brother like Alex. Alex would always make racist Asian jokes against me and he once cut off two of Jennie’s braids, causing her to shave her entire head..

‘I hate that guy,’ Jennie admits. ‘God, your brother is so fucking annoying.’

‘And he is introducing us to his fiancée.’

‘That bonehead has a fiancée?’ Jennie exclaims. ‘How is it possible that he is fucking engaged and we,’—she gestures to her and Raye—‘are single?’

Raye has been sad for too long, because she literally shakes it off. She always does that. Being sad isn’t something that happens to her a lot. She always says that she’d rather be fake happy than real sad. I really don’t know if that is such a healthy way of dealing with your emotions, but okay. ‘It’s not until next week,’ she states, ‘so no need to dwell on it. I’m going to cancel that Tinder date and you and I, Jennie, are going to hang out.’

‘You can’t just expect us to hang out together, last minute. Maybe I already have plans.’

‘You don’t,’ Raye says. ‘You honestly don’t have plans, like ever. I know you.’

The door opens and when we all look up, I see my handsome boyfriend in the doorway. Tiki and Oreo rush to me and when I crouch down, they push me on my back, trying to see who can lick my face the most. ‘I missed you guys too,’ I squeal and wrap my arms around the dogs. ‘Oh my God, I love you too, but you have to let me get up. John, please help me.’

‘Come here, guys,’ he says, patting his legs, so they look up and let go of me.

I manage to push myself up, only to see Oreo sneaking back to me. I scratch his head, causing him to smile at me. I love that cute smile of his. He is such a big fat baby, always curling up beside me on the couch and always wanting to get in bed with us, but John sends Oreo and Tiki out every time we go to sleep. Somehow he got through an entire year of dating without letting Tiki sleep in our bed and now that we have Oreo, he hasn’t changed his opinion about it. I personally wouldn’t mind if the dogs were in our bed, but John says that he wants me all to himself when we’re sleeping and to be honest, I think that is really sweet.

John walks up to me. ‘Hi sweetheart,’ he says, before kissing me on my forehead. ‘Ready to go?’

‘I am, let me just get my bag.’

I rush to the kitchen and after I collected all my stuff, including my jacket, I give Raye and Jennie a big hug. ‘Say hi to your parents from me,’ Jennie says.

‘Will do. See you two tomorrow.’

‘Bye mommy, bye daddy,’ Raye says and I glare at her. ‘It’s funny and you like it, admit it.’

I send her the finger and with John—who is enjoying this way too much—and our dogs, I walk to the car. While the dogs get in the back, John puts my seat in the right place, but he stops me before we can get it. ‘What is it, honey?’ I ask him.

‘I really missed you.’ He gives me a long kiss and afterwards pulls me in a tight hug.

This isn’t really how he usually is. I frown. ‘Are you okay?’

‘Can’t I show my wonderful girlfriend how much I love her?’

I lean back, so our eyes meet. His dark eyes are so full of love and I can’t help to fall even more in love with him. He is so gorgeous and my boyfriend. Sometimes I still can’t comprehend it. ‘Of course, but… I don’t know. Just wondering.’

I get in the car and when John sits next to me, I still can’t help but worry a little. He has a frown between his brows and when he holds onto the steering wheel, he is also a bit tense, his knuckles almost turning white. When he feels me staring at him, he looks to the side. ‘What’s up, sweetheart?’

‘I love you, you know that right?’

John smiles. ‘I do know that and I also know that you are worried, but please don’t. Going to your parents still makes me a bit nervous.’

‘Why is that? They love you, especially my mom and when you let my dad drive around in your Mustang, he instantly wanted you to be his son in law.’ I place my hand on his. ‘No need to be nervous.’

John parks the car in front of my parents home, but I stop him before he can get out. ‘How about that when we get home and you’re still tense,’ I whisper, ‘I’ll help you relax a bit?’

His eyes widen and a grin appears on his face. ‘Really?’

‘Yeah, I think a back massage could do wonders.’

He laughs, placing his hand on his chest. ‘You had me there for a second. That is just mean, Darcie.’

I stick out my tongue. We get out of the car and with the dogs we walk to the front door of the house that I grew up in. The door flies open, to reveal both of my parents. My mom nearly pushes me aside to hug John. Mom always wanted to two kids, a boy and a girl. My father once told me that three years before they had me, they were expecting a boy, but in the seventh month of her pregnancy, his heart just stopped beating. They never knew why he never survived and when I asked her at age five why everyone had sibling, except me, she threw her bowl filled with soup against the wall and yelled at me that I should’ve never ask a question like that again.

When I finally got a boyfriend, she thought that she’d treat her son in law like a real son, but she never wanted anything to do with Eric. She hated his guts and at the time I felt awful for not liking her as much as I used to. I mean, Eric was my boyfriend, wasn’t she supposed to be happy?

But the way she loves John like he is her son, though he is only ten years younger than her, warms my heart. I know a tiny bit about his earlier life, how he was an orphan. The way he was welcomed in my family, I know it means a lot to him. When he met my parents for the first time and we got back to the apartment, he told me about how wonderful it felt to belong in a family.

He never really told me anything about Helen’s family, but I feel like sometimes I shouldn’t ask too much about her. I always feel a bit guilty after talking about her, I don’t know why.

But knowing that he was happy to belong to a family and that he would do everything to keep all of us safe (he said so himself), it made me realize once again that John is a good man and that I should never let him go.

I give my dad a hug. ‘I missed you, dad,’ I say to him.

‘Oh, munchkin, I missed you too.’

‘You look tired,’ I note, looking at his dark circles under his eyes.

‘Tough case, that’s all. Don’t you worry about me Your old man can handle it.’

⟢⟡⟣

‘Mom, really?’ I ask her, when I see there are only three chairs at the table. ‘We have four chairs, I know that.’

‘One is broken,’ she lies without skipping a beat. No wonder she is one of the best attorneys ever. For a second I believed her, but I know my mom and I know she’s up to something. My dad and her sit each on a chair, leaving only one left. ‘You can sit on your boyfriends lap.’

Oh my God, I thought once you weren’t a teen anymore, you wouldn’t be ashamed of your mother—guess I was wrong. ‘Mom,’ I whine, ‘please.’

‘Oh Darcie,’ she says. ‘I really like you two together. How do young people call it? Sailing?’

I’m visibly cringing. She always does that, trying to keep up with trends. It was funny when I was young, it was embarrassing when I was a teen, but now I’m thirty one, I really want her to stop doing that. ‘Mom, first of all: it’s called shipping, not sailing. Second of all: John and I are already dating, no need to force us together.’

John can’t hide his amusement. ‘Come on, baby,’ he says, sitting on the only chair left. ‘It’s not so bad.’ He holds my hand and pulls me to him. Knowing I can’t win this (and I’m definitely not eating my dinner standing up), I plop on his lap and my mother, who is a grown woman of sixty, hides her smile behind her hand.

‘I can’t believe you,’ I say to her, but I wrap my arm around John’s shoulders. Not wanting to give this sort of behavior any more attention than it should get, I turn to my father. ‘So, dad, how’s work?’ I ask.

‘It’s okay,’ he says. ‘I’m defending the family of Whitney Bell.’

I’ve heard about that case. Whitney Bell was a twenty five year old woman, whose ex-boyfriend brutally murdered her and dumped her in Central Park. I just didn’t know my dad was defending her family. But come to think of it, I barely spoke him these last few weeks and though I think my parents are doing a great job with the people who they defend, I barely keep up with it, even when it’s in the news all the time.

At first I was a bit nervous to talk to John about this case, since… Well… You know…

But he sat me down and for the first time, he actually mentioned his work, without me asking for it first. He told me that he only killed men who were better off dead than alive. He would never kill a woman or a child and it kind of eased my mind. Not that I was scared that he would murder me.

‘Must be rough,’ John says, before taking a sip of his drink.

‘It is. Family cases like this, it always pains me when I hear their stories. I asked Whitney’s parents to bring a picture of Whitney, to show the jury. Though I asked for one, they brought all their pictures they have of her with them.’ Dad looks at his glass and adds: ‘Parents always do that. I get it, you know. If something happened to you, Darcie, I’d be dragging every picture I have of you with me, to show the jury.’

‘I’m sorry, dad,’ I whisper, but loud enough for him to hear.

‘Don’t be, munchkin. It’s nothing I can’t handle.’ Dad smiles, but I don’t buy it. He is stressing out. ‘Tomorrow in the late afternoon we’ll hear how he is being sentenced for life.’ He wants to sound like he’s got everything under control, but he fails miserably.

John must picked up on his nerves too, because he suggests: ‘How about you and I take a drive in the Mustang after dinner, Christian?’

‘That would sure ease my mind,’ dad laughs and thankfully it’s a bit more real this time.

We talk during dinner about the customers, John’s book binding (causing my mom to say she has some old books) and our dogs, who are curled up beside each other.

John and dad are about to go for a drive in the Mustang, but before John leaves, he picks up Tiki, since she really want to go with him and he presses a kiss on my cheek. ‘I love you, sweetheart,’ he whispers.

My mom manages to keep quiet, but as soon as the front door is shut, she asks: ‘When are you going to give me grandchildren?’

‘Mom! What the hell?’

‘Oh come on, sweetheart,’ mom laughs. ‘I know you are thinking about it. I mean, you call each other mom and dad.’

‘When we’re talking to or about our dogs,’ I defend myself. ‘I know you want grandchildren, but please, don’t say that sort of stuff when he is around. I’m afraid it might scare him off.’

‘Why?’ she asks. ‘I mean, he loves you dearly and I bet he wants kids with you. I mean, who wouldn’t?’

I can’t believe that last makes me blush. ‘I know that, but it is so far ahead in the future, I don’t want to think about it yet.’

Mom wraps her arms around me, giving me a kiss on my cheek. ‘Okay, I’ll shut up about grandchildren. But you are my favorite sail.’

‘Ship, mom, it’s called a ship. And just say couple, please. There is no need to “fit” in with the cool kids.’

‘Yet you knew exactly what I was talking about.’

‘That’s because I have high school kids hanging around the cafe all day every day. I need to fit in with the cool kids.’

We plop on the couch and Oreo stretches himself out, waddles over to us and sits between us.

‘Mom, be honest with me now. Is dad really okay?’

‘You know how he is,’ she sighs. ‘Gets too wrapped up in a case.’ Mom squeezes my cheek and whispers: ‘He’ll be fine after tomorrow, like he always is after he has won a case.’

Mom and I cuddle up with Oreo, who has been the sweetest companion so far, ever since we rescued him from the shelter. He eventually is sitting a little behind me on the couch, his head placed on my shoulder.

The front door opens. My father is laughing, but when I look at him, I see his eyes are swollen and a bit red. ‘Dad, are you okay?’ I ask him.

‘Yeah, sweetheart, I’m fine. Just hit my head.’

My mother stands up and wraps her arms around my father. ‘Oh nae wangjamin,’ she soothes, giving him a kiss on his cheek.

Tiki rushes to her big brother and jumps on top of him. He simply licks her face, not annoyed by her antics. He never is.

John walks up to me and scratches Oreo’s head. ‘Maybe we should go home,’ John says, ‘it has been a long day.’

I simply nod and when we announce that we’re leaving, my mom gives me a tight hug. When I hold my dad, I’m instantly worried again. This is not who he is, I hardly recognize him anymore. ‘I love you, dad and if something is wrong, just tell me, okay? I’m one phone call away.’

Dad nods. ‘I love you too, munchkin and I will call you.’

Taglist: @toomanystoriessolittletime​ @flhorah​ @allie1804-fan @cynic-spirit​ @raven-black102

[seonghwa-things]

Strike

This one is over on Archive!

Warnings: angst

“I’m just not ready to tell them yet,” De Jun glanced across the bedroom at Yang Yang. De Jun thought he looked cute today, with his auburn hair pushed back with a red beanie, and a colourful top made by a local artist - a big contrast to his own black outfit.

One of their friends had invited them out for a bowling night. Yang Yang agreed before consulting De Jun and was insisting that they appeared as a couple.

De Jun had his guitar up on his lap, messing around with a few chords. A hobby turned into a nervous tick. “I’m not ashamed of us Yang, you know that. I haven’t even told my mother yet. How am I supposed to-”

“I’m tired of hiding it. It’s been months.”

“Let me think about it, okay? We have a couple hours.” De Jun kept his gaze on the guitar, placing it back on its stand.

Yang Yang nodded, the disappointment clear on his face. “You know I won’t force you to do anything.”

“I know.” De Jun stood, moving from the desk he was sitting at, and joined Yang Yang on the bed. “Telling them all at once is just...scary.”

Yang Yang pulled De Jun into his arms, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Whenever you’re comfortable.”

De Jun couldn’t understand how Yang Yang was so open about his sexuality. After years of trying to work up the courage to tell others, De Jun was still torn down by simple things - tweets and nasty comments. He knew his friends were supportive of Yang Yang, but he was afraid they wouldn’t support them together. As a couple.

“I want to do it,” he said, coming back from his thoughts.

Yang Yang glanced at him. “You do?”

“Telling people that I already know are supportive should be easier, right? I mean, they’re our friends.”

“Normally,” Yang Yang nodded, taking De Jun’s hand, and interlacing their fingers.  “I can’t tell you it’ll be easy Jun. I know it’s not. But I can assure you that I’ll be your number one supporter.”

“I promise, if not tonight, then soon.”

“Take as long as you need.”

***

De Jun started to get cold feet as they arrived at the bowling alley. Standing in the parking lot, he could see Yang Yang reaching for his hand. De Jun hesitated, looking around. He knew Yang Yang was excited to share their news. He didn’t want to ruin that.

“I’m worried…” De Jun muttered, letting Yang Yang take hold of his hand.

“You’ve got this.” Yang Yang reassured him.

De Jun gulped, nodding, and let Yang Yang lead him inside. They stepped towards the counter. He watched the cashier’s eyes flicker to their intertwined hands, and then back up at their faces.

“What size?” she asked, turning towards the cupboards filled with the ugly shoes.

Yang Yang stated the sizes for both of them, turning back towards De Jun. “See? People really don’t mind anymore.”

De Jun nodded. He could see their friends at the lane farthest away. They’d noticed that they’d arrived, and were waving, but they couldn’t quite see their connected hands. The cashier handed them their shoes, and De Jun took the opportunity to drop Yang Yang’s hand, grabbing the shoes instead. Leaving Yang Yang to pay, De Jun joined their other friends.

He sat himself down in one of the uncomfortable blue seats, and slid off his shoes to exchange them with the bowling ones. When Yang Yang had made his way over, De Jun turned to hand him the other pair. He was greeted with a cold stare.

De Jun turned away, pulling his foot up onto the chair to finish tying it. He knew Yang Yang would be upset if nothing was said about their relationship tonight. He just had to work up the courage to do it.

Ten caught on quickly. “Are you two fighting?” he whispered, slipping into the chair beside De Jun. Ten was usually a loud person, so hearing him speak in such a quiet voice confused De Jun. He noticed that Yang Yang was preoccupied, Yukhei teaching him an under-the-legs method of rolling the ball - much like how a child would roll it before they were strong enough to lift it.

Yukhei had invited them out and paid for three games in advance. The first few rounds were played in silence - at least by De Jun and Yang Yang. The only noise coming from their lane was Yukhei’s laughter, and Ten’s complaints of having to keep score. The music, however, was deafening. It sounded like an eighties playlist - fitting for the retro style of the bowling alley.

“No...no. We just stayed up late last night. Both of us are a little tired,” De Jun replied.

“He practically lives at your house now, doesn’t he?” Ten teased.

“I guess that’s what happens when you get close to someone,” De Jun said, glancing up at Yang Yang, smiling. He hoped that whatever was going to happen tonight wouldn’t change their dynamics too much.

“Hey, Yang Yang,” Ten raised his voice. “Are you heading to De Jun’s tonight?”

“Wasn’t planning on it. Why?” came Yang Yang’s reply.

De Jun frowned. He thought Yang Yang was. (It was a normal thing for them.)

“So how about a movie night? Like we used to before De Jun stole you away?” Ten teased. De Jun knew there was no malice behind his statement, but he couldn’t help but be upset - jealous even. Especially when Yang Yang agreed to go.

De Jun had been winning this game, but found his score plummeting. Every time he went up to take his turn, he felt dizzy - almost to the point of being nauseous.

“Man, are you sure you’re feeling alright? Normally you kick our asses,” Yukhei worried.

De Jun shrugged, glancing at the seat across from him, where Yang Yang was sitting. His boyfriend was avoiding his gaze, looking anywhere but at him “I’ll finish this game, but then I’ll probably head out.”

“Yeah, don’t push yourself, dude,” Yukhei said, patting De Jun on the shoulder.

De Jun nodded. They wrapped up the game pretty quickly. Yukhei had convinced Yang Yang and Ten to stay for another. Yang Yang didn’t even look at De Jun when he said goodbye - he offered only a half-hearted wave.

De Jun quickly made his way out, dropping his shoes off at the counter and thanking the cashier.

Stuffing his hands in his pocket, he stepped outside, glancing at the sky. The moon was full tonight. He’d have some light while walking home at least, since his ride - Yang Yang - had decided to go elsewhere. He made it about halfway - a good 25 minutes -  before receiving a text.

You promised me.

De Jun frowned, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk to reply.

You said I could take my time.

I’ve given you three months. I’m tired of having to stop myself from being close to you around them, De Jun. I’m around you all the time and they know I’m gay - they’re starting to get suspicious. I’m tired of telling my mother that I still have no one to bring around for holidays even though I do. I’m tired of lying to my best friends.

De Jun pocketed his phone, continuing his walk home, trying to decide what to say. He was afraid he’d make things worse.

He didn’t pull out his phone again until he was settled in bed. He missed another few messages.

De Jun, I can’t be with someone who has to hide all the time.

De Jun felt his chest tighten. I’ll tell them.

As much as I hate this limbo we’re in right now, I don’t want you to come out before you’re ready.

I don’t want to lose you.

De Jun quickly opened a group chat with Yukhei, Ten and Yang Yang. I have something to tell you guys.

He was met with rapid responses. Yang Yang stayed silent.

I wanted to tell you in person, but I chickened out. Again. But maybe it’ll be easier for me this way?

What is it? Yukhei pressed.

...I’m gay. And, uh, Yang Yang and I are dating?

It’s a question? Ten quickly shot back.

No it’s not a question! I’m just crazy nervous. Yang Yang was literally the only person who knew.

How long? Yukhei questioned.

De Jun didn’t like that he’d asked. Three months.

The chat went silent after that. They’d all seen the message, no one had replied. De Jun was praying that it was because they were all watching a movie, that something distracted them. But he knew better. They were upset that he’d waited so long, at the very least. He couldn’t tell what they thought about his sexuality - not based on the texts.

Maybe he’d made a mistake. Maybe he should’ve listened to his gut. He would’ve lost Yang Yang, but he might not have lost everyone.

De Jun went to bed, wondering if he’d wake up the next morning regretting coming out just as much.

***

The sound of his alarm woke him up - it’d been going off for almost ten minutes. De Jun groaned, shutting it off and dragging himself out of bed. He pulled his uniform out of the closet, dreading the fact that he had to go to work. Making his way to the bathroom, he caught sight of himself in the mirror. He looked like shit. His dark hair was sticking up - bedhead style -  and the bags under his eyes were larger than normal. He didn’t think sleeping alone would be that bad.

De Jun hoped that Yang Yang wouldn’t visit him. He normally stopped by on De Jun’s breaks to bring him lunch. But De Jun didn’t think he wanted to see him. Or any of his so called friend group for that matter.

Yang Yang still entered the cafe. He was wearing the same outfit he was yesterday. It was clear he hadn’t gone home.

“Can I take your order?” De Jun asked, forcing a smile as Yang Yang came to the counter. De Jun wished that he could turn him away.

“An americano, two cream, one sugar.” Yang Yang replied. Same as always. “And I’d like to talk to you.”

“I’m working.”

“You have break in five.”

De Jun sighed, but nodded. He shouldn’t avoid it. He turned away from the cash - no one else was in line - and started making Yang Yang’s drink. After letting a coworker know he was taking fifteen, he brought it out from behind the counter and joined Yang Yang at his table.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t think this,” Yang Yang stated, pointing between them, “is gonna work.”

De Jun froze, his gaze focused on a coffee stain on the table.He couldn’t look Yang Yang in the eye.

“If I stayed with you, I’d be losing my best friend.”

De Jun frowned. “So Ten isn’t okay with it?”

“He said you’ve been holding me back from being myself for the past three months. He’d said I’d changed for the worse,” Yang Yang sighed. “I think he’s right.”

“Okay,” De Jun breathed shakily. He couldn’t believe this. He stood up. “I’ve gotta get back to work.”

“You’re not upset?”

“Of course I’m upset, Yang Yang. But I’ve got a job to do, and I’m not going to lose it because I let my emotions get the better of me. Maybe we’ll talk later.” He knew that was unlikely. Ten always took priority. Who was he to get in the way of that? Ten had known Yang Yang for years - they were like brothers. De Jun only had a few measly months to compare to that.

De Jun walked behind the counter and took a deep breath, trying to convince himself that things would be okay.. Smiling sadly, he watched Yang Yang exit.

He looked at the unfinished transaction on the register, pulled out his wallet, and paid.

[harry-saopaolo]

Red Ribbon

Harry surprises Y/N by telling her how he feels but Y/N has a surprise of her own.

“My mum said if someone is sad just give ‘em a cupcake and all will be better”

That day was Harry’s first day in school and he was alone. It’s not that he didn’t want to have friends but he just didn’t know how make friends. Every third grader was at the playground having someone to chat with, play tag with while he sat on the swing having no one to push him.

But that’s when she came. The first thing he saw was her red ribbon shoes. It had a cute little bow on it. Then he saw the yellow dress, suddenly his day was a little brighter and things weren’t as dull as before he saw her. He looked higher to look at the owner of the shoes and there she was, hair adorned with yet another red ribbon. She smiled sweetly and handed him what seemed to be a Vanilla cupcake. Her mom sure was right, cause whether it was because of the cupcake or her, his day surely was better.

That was also the day he was sure he wanted to be friends with her forever.

“Wait, so you tell me, you’d rather finish a jar of mayo every month for the rest of your life than drink soda from your shoe once? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

They were taking a study break cause their heads were already hurting from trying to understand trigonometry so Y/N proposed a little game of ‘Would you rather...’ and she was getting frustrated by his answers by the minute.

“You’ve seen my running shoes, love. It ain’t pretty” He says before popping a handful of Skittles into his mouth.

“Oi, you’re eating all m’orange ones you knob!”

“Why don’t you get ‘em from me?” He mocks as he opens mouth.

“Eww, so I’d get slutty germs from when you kissed Jen last night? No thanks. I’d love to be as HIV free as much as possible, If you mind” 

“Love, you’re just saying that cause you hate her guts”

True.

She hates Jen with every fiber of her being. Ever since high school came around, she suddenly became interested in Harry. She would do things to get on Y/N’s nerves like act sick in front of Harry so he could take her to the infirmary, leaving Y/N all alone and act so sweet and innocent when he’s around. Jen would even give Y/N backhanded compliments like ‘’Ooh I love how old your skirt looks!” or “When other people wear too much makeup, it doesn’t look right but you pull it off just right!”. Her blood boils just by thinking about her.

“Don’t get all worked up now, love. Broke it off with her last night. Nothin’ to get your panties in a twist.” She can’t help but be surprised. Sure she hated her guts but if she made her best friend then she’d just keep her feelings at bay.

“What?! And you didn’t think it was worth telling me?”

“I’m telling you now aren’t I!”

“You know what I mean!” She had to stop to calm herself. “ Why? What did that bitch do? Tell me bub” He loved her pet name for him. It was the right amount of playful and sweet. She lets it slip every once in a while, knowing how much Harry loves and finds comfort in it.

“Nothin! jus’ wouldn’t stop yappin’ her mouth. Would’ve been better if she used it for something else better than talking, right love?” 

“Alright, I’m out that’s fucking gross” 

“Yeah yeah, act all concerned and whatnot but deep inside you’re happy I finally got rid of her” He always saw right through her.

“No, I’m not” Although saying that, She can’t help but smile.

That’s when he knew he’d do anything to make her smile.

“ Can’t believe I gave myself to him only to find out what a fuckin’ dickhead he is”

Harry came as soon as he heard her voicemail which was basically Y/N sniffling and mumbling incoherent words. He was lucky enough to make out the words “Come ‘ere. I need you, bub.” with that he bolted out of his apartment to hers. Now they were cuddled up on her bed, sharing a bowl of ice cream. A variety of things were laid on her bed, there were torn up pictures of her now ex-boyfriend, balled-up tissues and the necklace that was given to her by Brad. To her defense, she did try to break it but after the red marks it left on her palm and it still being unscathed, she gave up and just tossed it on the bed. Friends was softly playing in the background, the episode where Chandler lost the gold bracelet Joey got him was now forgotten.

“He wasn’t even good! Fucking sloppy as ever. Brad. What kind of name is that anyway? Straight out of a fuckin’ porno” 

Harry didn’t say anything. Letting her vent out all of her anger and pain, Knowing she always loved to hear his words of advice after letting everything out first.

“You know what? This is what I get for rushing into this! Don’t even know if I love him but I couldn’t even keep my legs closed. Maybe I was the bad one eh? That’s why he ran off to the blondie from Chem! Yeah, that is definitely it” By now her tears has dried up on her cheeks and there weren’t any new ones threatening to fall. She was past getting mad, she’s just sad.”Things always end up like this you know? M’never good enough, bub.”

“That’s bull Y/N, and you know it. They don’t know the fuck they lost, givin’ up a gem like you. M’not saying this just because I’m your best friend but never have I met anyone as perfect as you, you know?” She couldn’t help but let a few tears escape “ One day, you’re gonna meet ‘em and he’s gonna be great, just like what you deserve and you’ll forget about someone as petty as Brad. Never doubt yourself, love. Who else is gonna cheer me up and keep me at my toes if you keep on bringing yourself down?”

She hugs him tighter, finding serenity between his arms. She can’t help but place a quick kiss on his cheek. “ You’ll always be my guy, right bub?”

For some reason, his heart skipped a beat.

“You know it, love”

That’s the day he realized he never wanted to see her crying again.

“We’re gonna rule the world, You and I.”

“Yeah is that right? How so?” They went out for a picnic in the nearby park. Harry was going over his manuscripts as Y/N’s head rested on his thighs while she was trying to understand the medical terms that are starting to look gibberish.

“We might be pullin’ our hairs out now but soon you’re gonna be the best and most handsome author of our generation, selling millions of copies and all that. Whereas I will be the most daring surgeon of our time! I’ll be able to save lives and check out cute interns too” She says as if she made the greatest discovery of their lives.

“You do know Grey’s Anatomy is just a show right? like you don’t actually always have sex with other doctors and have screaming matches in halls”

“Bugger off, will you? But I’m serious though. We haven’t done much but I’m already proud of us, proud of you. My little writer. Be sure to dedicate a book or two to me will you?” 

“I’d dedicate all of ‘em to you if you like, that’s the least I could do for my great little surgeon.” She can’t help but laugh at his offer before it was replaced with a serious expression.

“You know I love you right? Harry, you may as well be the person I want to be the most proud of me”

“And I you”

That’s the moment he realized he loves her.

--Present--

He wanted to tell her he loved her. She was the light of his life in his moments of darkness. How can someone feel so right, feel as perfect as a puzzle piece, be in the arms of a man that is not him?

Then he’s stuck. Harry’s currently working on his third novel and for the nth time, he’s been spewing out great ideas but can’t seem to fit them together. Now 28, he can’t help but feel unaccomplished despite his success in his career. What was missing? 

He was a risk-taker when it comes to developing his fictional characters and was daring enough to tackle multiple controversial issues in his novels but never seem to get the courage to tell her how he really felt.

Y/N.

His Y/N.

His Y/N with Dexter.

They’ve been together for a little more than a year now as Harry still remained a bachelor. By now he’s not quite sure if he was waiting for the right girl or waiting for her. and her only.

Something about today lit a fire inside of him. Maybe it’s because of the pent up frustration of having yet another writer’s block or the fact that he’s so sick of waiting for destiny to do its thing than actually making something happen. Next thing he knows, he was already dialing her number.

“Hey, bub! you caught me at a great time! What’s up?” I love you.

“Can we meet somewhere or something? Really need to talk to you ‘bout something”

“Really? I have something to tell you too! Why don’t we meet at the ol’ cafe down the street in twenty?” I love you.

“Sure sure, see you love.”

“Can’t wait!” I love you and I can’t wait to tell you I do.

---

He was already there by ten and it’s safe to say he was nervous. This is gonna be years and years of friendship at risk but he knows he won’t be able to sleep at night knowing he should’ve at least tried.

“You certainly got ‘ere early” There she was, wearing the dotted pink sundress he adored. She had her hair up and looked radiant as ever. He’s in it deep.

“Have some news for you, couldn’t wait” Cause if he did he might shit his pants, he thought.

“Good or bad? I have news too!”

“ Depends on how you’ll take it. If it’s okay can I go first?” 

“Sure, go on bub.” Just the comfort he needed.

He took a deep breath, knowing what he was about to say could make or break him.

“We’ve been the best of friends all these years and I think I know why. It’s because we just get each other you know? and we always got each other’s back no matter what. Like the very first day we met, up to now, you never left my side and I never left yours. Everything did start because of a damn cupcake but that’s not the point.” She can’t help but laugh at his flustered state.

“But as we grew older, the more and more was I enthralled by you. By how you never forget to take care of me and how you never let anyone step on you. and as deep as my admiration goes, Y/N I fell for you” She stopped smiling. The shock was evident on her face. But he had to continue.

“ It took me a while to realize and even longer to tell you but I love you, I really do. I know it’s a shitty thing to do knowing that Dexter’s in the picture and all but I was there for everything. For your first heartbreak to your first ever patient. I was there at your best and worst. He’s a great guy, I know. It may even be too late but I can’t help but feel like we were meant to be, that you were meant for me.”

“So if you can find it in your heart, feel every beat of it and know that somehow for some unexplainable reason, what I am saying is making sense. Y/N choose me, love me. Be with me cause for as long as I remember, that’s all I really wanted” He could finally breathe. He said everything his coward of a heart couldn’t before.

“Harry I-” He didn’t like the sound of her voice, if this was rejection, he never wants to hear it. So he interrupted.

“Before you make a decision or anything, tell me your news first, love.” Sure, that will buy him some time.

Y/N does this thing when she’s nervous. Either she’d play with the ends of her braid or grips then releases her hold on the cup of her chosen beverage. That’s exactly what she’s doing to her cup of steaming hot tea.

And that’s when he saw it and his world stopped. He was suddenly holding his breath as the light caught on to something on her hand.

“Harry, I’m engaged.” 

Author’s Note: This was an idea I’ve been playing around with. Tell me what you think! All the love xx.

p.s. that choose me love me scene may have been inspired by grey’s anatomy, don’t hate. xx

[goldinkmaknae]

Rainy Days

This is my first story and if you like it I'd appreciate you following me so I could know if I should do this more!!

Prompt: Use the lyrics of your favorite song as the basis of a short story.

The song I will be using is: HEIZE~ You, Clouds, Rain

Word count- 5139

Yoongi X reader

Genre- coffee shop AU, slight fluff, angst

summary-You are a cafe owner and one day you pay yoongi to play at the small cafe, thanks to him your company gets a big boost and you both become great friends, maybe even more~

“She’s trouble Sal, please trust me.”

Those words were the ones I never thought I’d regret saying. He never knew what I knew about her, the reason she wanted to be his. The only thing I remember from the day he left me was the rain and the feeling of losing something you loved, to someone who didn’t deserve it.

“Is the replacement pianist here?” I questioned my coworker while I slid my apron on. The day was cloudy, rain tapping against the window pane.

In spite of the gloomy atmosphere outside, there were a few people in my cafe eating breakfast with smiles on their faces. I always enjoyed making others happy with the food we created, and I worked hard to help the cafe create a homey atmosphere. With live music, what could be better than that?

“The replacement will be here soon, his name is Min Yoongi,” Rhea replied, leaving quickly to take the orders of people who had arrived at the tables near the door.

 Today will be a good day, I promised myself.

“Oh, Sal called again, I forgot to tell you.” She came back behind the counter to gather the coffee that was recently made, her eyes flickering in my direction every few seconds, gauging my reaction. “He said it’s important for you to talk to him.”

The bell above the door chimed, and the pianist strode through it, keyboard held easily in one hand. He was obviously taller than me I could tell even from this distance, but it’s not like that was a difficult feat if I’m being honest. As he shrugged his hood off, I noticed his hair was a platinum color. When he looked up at me, our eyes met, and I smiled sheepishly, waving softly at him. There was a hint of a smile on his face, and I briefly wondered how dazzling it would be like when he smiled for real. I took his entrance as an excuse to disregarded the current conversation we were having in favor of helping him set up.

“You must be Min Yoongi,” I stuck my hand out and he took it gently between his. His fingertips were cold, thanks to the weather. “My name is y/n. I run this place.” “

Ah, it’s nice to meet you.” He spoke as gently as he shook my hand, and I was surprised at how deep his voice was. He quietly began creating his set up and busied himself with that, so I decided to get him some coffee in hopes that he would cheer up.

“I don’t know how you like your coffee, but I brought you a cup. Surely it’ll warm you up.” I set the creamer and sugar next to his mug on the table. My face flushed, and I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Actually, I’m not even sure if you like coffee, but hopefully my guess was correct.”

Yoongi shot me a gummy smile, “I love coffee.” He grabbed a couple of sugar packets and sprinkled them in after the creamer, "Actually, I’ve been told I’ve got a lot in common with a great cup; I’m cute and just a little bit bitter.”

I giggled at his ridiculous joke, with a little more zealous than was probably necessary, “I can’t say I see the resemblance.” 

He scoffed, but was grinning none the less, “That hurts, y/n.”

***

Yoongi had quite a large fanbase, and it felt that every time I thought there couldn’t be more, another fan would home sauntering through the doorframe to support him. It was easily one of our most successful days.

In the few minutes I spoke to him between songs and skirting around the cafe as I attended to customers, I understood exactly why they adored them. He was quiet, more so than most people, but this wasn’t news to me. I didn’t talk much to myself, except at work where I held a different, personable personality toward customers. In spite of this, Yoongi was really easy to talk to, somehow chirping quirky one-liner to me when I least expected it. He was actually rather charismatic.

Yoongi had left the bathroom after his long day of playing, as the final customer left the cafe, and I began cleaning the counters. However, not long after I began, the door chimed. 

“I’m so sorry, but it’s past our hours!” I motioned toward the windowpane where our closing sign hung, as I gave the countertop the last scrub before turning to address them, “I was just about to close—“

I all but choked on my words. Sal stood in the doorway, and his drunken state vibrated through the cafe. I involuntarily shivered. He only got drunk when something bad happened. 

“Y/n.” He hiccuped, lowering his voice while he limped closer, “I should’ve trusted you. I should’ve listened…she lied to me, about everything.” His tear stained cheeks formed a sad smile and he left only a few inches between us. His breath was harsher now, and I could practically smell the soju rolling off him in waves. He had obviously drunk too much.

I took a few steps back, creating some space for us. “What are you doing here?” There was a slight crack in my voice, betraying my attempts to sound strong. 

“I’ve loved you y/n, I know you feel the same,” he gripped my white shirt and dropped the empty bottle he had in his hand. It clattered harshly against the wood flooring and rolled a few feet away, echoing in the silence. “I was just too stupid…you would never betray me like her. I didn’t know that before, but I do — I do now.”

“You’re not making any sense,” I tried getting out of his grasp, twisting my body away from his. He only pulled me in tighter. “Stop it, Sal. You’re scaring me.” But as his grip continued to tighten, my reflexes kicked in, and I wrenched my body away from his with all my might, as chairs clattered against each other while he staggered back, attempting to regain his balance.

“Get out of my store.” I pointed at the door, my voice strong. The tears I had tried to hold back were threatening to escape, but I didn’t move to wipe them away. I wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. 

He stumbled toward the door, muttering a simple, “I’ll be back.” 

The breath I was holding back freed itself and I began moving the chairs back into their original place, tossing the bottle into the recycling bin with more force than I intended. It cracked and a few chips scattered in the bin.

“Are you okay y/n?” The sound of his voice made me jump, a chair clashing with the wood floor, and I leaned back to stare at him.

Yoongi stood in the hallway, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck, “I didn’t mean to overhear everything, but that man seemed to be very drunk and I wasn’t sure if he was going to give you trouble.”

The genuine concern in his voice made me quickly wipe the stray tears away, and I smiled back in the assurance that I was fine. “I need to pay you for today!” I clapped my hands and walked behind the counter, counting the money and handing him his share.

He smiled softly, seeming to understand I didn’t want to talk about anything. As he opened the door to the cafe, Yoongi stalled, twisting his body in the doorway, 

“I don’t want to push my luck, but should I come back tomorrow?”

“Only if you’re available. Today was one of the better day’s we’ve had, so I would actually love it if you’d do so.”

He grinned, “Sound’s good then. Same time?”

I nodded, and he said goodbye before disappearing through the doorway.

Silence overwhelmed the cafe, as I turned the lights off and marched upstairs, my dog Marvin whining the minute he heard the final step creak under my weight.

As I unlatched the door to my studio apartment, he ran in circles at my feet, as my fingertips grazed his glossy white and grey speckled coat.

“How are you, Marv?” I asked, and he whined in response, leading me toward his bowl with a pointed look. “I know you’re hungry buddy, gimme a sec.” I pulled a can of wet food from the cabinet and mixed it half and half with his dry food. 

He spun in circles as I walked to set his bowl down, and I smiled briefly at his enthusiasm, patting his head.

I glanced around my kitchen and when I realized I wasn’t remotely hungry, I walked into my room in a dazed state. As I set my phone to charge, it connected to my Bluetooth speakers, and as luck would have it, I heard the opening notes of a song that meant a lot to me. I could hear Marvin’s approaching as his nails clicked against the wood floor, and his furry head bobbed into view.

He stared at me, head tilted to the side, ears at attention, no doubt listening to the way my breath was coming in short, shallow spurts. The memories I associated with that song were coming back and before I knew it I was in tears. 

He threw his front paws on my bed, creeping closer to rest his chin on my shoulder, and I cuddled with him as my vision went blurry.

The memories may not matter to me anymore, at least not in the way they used to, but they’re mine and I can’t forget them. For the first time in awhile, I thought to myself that it was alright to be sad today, that I had a reason. ***

Yoongi appeared again for his fifth performance, and although I thought the first week he appeared was packed, it was nothing compared to today.

“I see your little group loves you,” I praised him, nudging his shoulder as I set the coffee he asked for on the table next to his seat.

“What can I say? My music is irresistible.” he laughed as he finished setting up his piano in the same spot he had yesterday.

“Yeah, I’m still not sure I know what you mean.” I giggled softly.

“You’re a tough crowd to please, y/n.” He tiled his head to the side and eyed me, “As a true musician, I’m always interested in improving my appeal. What would you say is missing from my repertoire?”

I tapped my chin thoughtfully, “It’s actually pretty well rounded, but I think we’re missing a little bit of that childhood innocence.”

“Childhood innocence?” His eyebrows knitted themselves together as they flew into his hairline. “Care to elaborate?”

I tugged subtly on the lanyard sticking out of my pocket, it was littered with soot sprites, stars, and a certain silver and blue dragon. His eyes drifted to where my hand was fidgeting. “I can think of a couple Studio Ghibli films that could serve as inspiration for next week’s performance.”

“Oh really? I’m not so sure I’m familiar with these movies,” though the upturned corner of his lips said otherwise.

“I’ve got them all on DVD.” I shrugged, picking up the plates and mugs from the table a few feet away.

“If this is an elaborate ruse to invite me over,” he teased, “You have my full attention.”

“Actually, I was leading up to lending you the movies. But seeing as you’re so eager to spend time with me after hours, I might have to reconsider.” With that you drifted away, taking the used dishes and utensils back into the kitchen.

Joking around with Yoongi was far easier than I would have ever expected. Banter bouncing back and forth between us like some invisible game of ping pong.

With a few minutes to spare between taking orders and running checks, I found that my eyes were focused on Yoongi far more often than was probably normal. As his fingers slid easily across the white keys, and the notes drifted out of his keyboard, it was easy to see just why he had such an eager following. His music seemed to lighten up the cafe, and the love I felt reverberate through his music was no joke.

“Seriously your music is amazing!” Gina exclaimed as the rest of the employees gathered up their belongings, getting ready to leave for the day. “You’re telling me you wrote that last piece yourself?” Rhea asked just as intrigued.

Yoongi simply shrugged, his cheeks turning the slightest tinge of pink. “I mean, yeah. But it’s not a big deal.”

I rolled my eyes, though the smile on my face betrayed me. He was humble too? Honestly, did he have any flaws?

I was tending to the last couple of customers we had, hoping to close up before eight when the bell chimed.

“I’m sorry but—“ My breath caught in my throat when I saw his figure standing in the door. “What did I tell you about coming here?” I walked over quickly, pushing Sal out the door.

He gripped my wrist harder than he had the day before. “Listen to me y/n,” his voice feigned sincerity, but his body language was fierce.

“No!” I said strongly, attempting to keep my voice even,  so as not to disturb the remaining customers. "I’m done listening to you. Just because she left you, doesn’t mean I’ll just be here to comfort you. I’m done.” I slammed his hands away from me and began walking back to the counter.

I felt Yoongi’s eyes watching my every movement, they had been since the minute Sal walked through the door with a scowl on his face. Sal turned me around forcibly and slapped me across my cheek, it burned like hell. My teeth clenched, and my fist fell into a ball, but before I could return the favor, Sal was knocked to the ground. Yoongi was standing over him, his eyes narrowed and voice strong, “Leave her alone.”

“Who the hell is this?” Sal growled, hopping up and shoving Young’s shoulders. “Your new little boy toy?”

“It’s none of your goddamn business.”

“I’m sorry, was I talking to you?” Sal shoved his shoulders again, hands gripping Youngi’s shirt.

Yoongi swayed in Sal’s hands, though something told me he could easily break free if he wanted to. Biting back a smirking as he glanced at the ground, he rolled his head up to face Sal. I could tell his patience was growing thin. “You asked, I answered. That’s kind of how questions work, isn’t it?” Yoongi shoved Sal, and he stumbled into the countertop. Yoongi turned to face me, “You alright, y/n?”

Sal chuckled darkly before taking a swing at Yoongi, and before I could process what was happening their fists were flying.

“Both of you stop!” I pulled Yoongi off of Sal and looked at his bloody lip, while the other workers held Sal back.

“Go upstairs, okay? I’ll be there in a second.” You slid your lanyard into his hand, and Yoongi huffed, his brown eyes dark, but nodded and silently marched up. I turned to face Sal, "I think its best that you leave Sal. Don’t come back.”

When I got to the top of the stairs I found Yoongi leaning against the wall to my door, fiddling with the keys in his hands.

I softly took it from him and unlocked to the door, pulling it open and motioning for him to follow me inside. He sheepishly did so as I walked him into the small bathroom. I pointed toward the toilet and he willingly took a seat while I sank onto my heels, rummaging through the cabinet for my first aid kit.

“So, why’d you do it?”

“I don’t like seeing women being treated poorly.” He muttered.

I grabbed the tin, before turning toward Yoongi. In the small bathroom, I situated myself between his legs and tilted his chin up with my fingertips so I could get a better look at his wound. Although he seemed like he was relaxed on the edge of the seat, I could see a fire burning in his eyes. I inspected the sliver of a cut on his cheek, and the split on his mouth, and began to tap his lip with the medication. As I began to clean his wound, he winced from the pain at first, then stared at me while I continued.

“Thank you, but I could’ve taken care of it. I can’t let you get hurt in my cafe.” I shot him an apologetic smile, half joking. "It’s not good for business.”

“Oh, is that all? And here I thought you were worried about me.” He cracked a smile, and I was relieved to see he wasn’t entirely frustrated.

“In all seriousness, you shouldn’t have pushed his buttons like that. He wasn’t worth it.”

“What? Sardonic humor is just my way of relating to the world. It’s not my fault he couldn’t appreciate it.”

Yoongi was silent as I threw the used supplies in the trash over his shoulder.

“He’s an ex-right?”

“Not exactly.”

“But, you had liked him? Or he had liked you?” His forehead wrinkled as he tried to piece it together.

"He was my best friend. But you’re right, I did have feelings for him.” *** Three days later, it was Tuesday evening and there was a knock at my door. When I glanced through the door’s window I caught a glimpse of platinum, and I knew right away who it was.

Yoongi smiled sheepishly when I pulled it open.

“What’s up?” I eyed him as I glanced at the clock on the counter at the bottom of the stairs.

“I called you, but you didn’t answer,” He shrugged, “I just wanted to ask you something.”

I pulled my phone out of my pocket. 3 Missed calls from Yoongi.

“Sorry, it was my day off. Y’know, you could’ve left me a voicemail. You didn’t have to come all the way over here.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.” The corners of his mouth quirked upward.

“Who has VCR’s nowadays?” My nose wrinkled. 

He waved me off and closed his eyes, “That’s not the point. I really just wanted to see if you’d like to hang out?”

I pulled the leg of my pajamas in a nervous fidget. “Depends on what you have in mind?”

“Now listen,” Yoongi put on his most convincing voice as he continued, “Rhea told me you have a day off tomorrow, too. So here’s what I was thinking: an all-nighter, you and me. First, one to fall asleep owes the other breakfast.”

I paused, acting like I was weighing the thought in my mind. Though, if we’re being honest, I’d already made it up the second I opened the door to him.

“You’re on, Yoongi.” I sidestepped and he passed through the entryway, smug grin on his face. “I hope you make good french toast because that’s my favorite thing to eat for breakfast.” He eyed me, as I continued, "I just got up from a nap, so I’m fully ready to kick your ass.”

If we’re being honest, I wasn’t sure how I ended up watching Studio Ghibli films with Yoongi. I wasn’t even sure how I’d let Yoongi into my apartment so easily, normally I’d have fought tooth and nail; made up some excuse about taking Marvin to the vet the next day for his check-up, because there was no way in hell I was letting Yoongi stay overnight, not so he could see what I looked like when I was sleeping, drool pooling on the pillowcase and snores emanating from my chest. But all the same, everything with him was weirdly easy, and just like that he had wormed his way in.

“You know what I like most about people?” He asked as he rubbed Marvin’s temples, and my dog sank into his touch.

“Hm?”

“Their pets.”

I shoved his shoulder. “If you want Marv, you can keep him. He sheds too much, and snores like a horse.”

“Horses snore?” Suga chuckled, and I simply shrugged in return, as I popped the cork off the wine glass.

“Do you want some?”

“Aish. You’re making this too easy. You’re totally going to fall asleep by the time we’re done with the second movie.”

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Bet. I can handle my alcohol. Now, do you want some or not?”

“I’m not really much for wine, but if you’re the one who’s giving it to me, how could I say no?” *** Three glasses of wine later, and I could feel my cheeks growing rosy. I may or may not have bluffed when Yoongi had teased me earlier, but whether or not that was obvious to his own ruddy face was yet to be determined.

The movie was long forgotten, fading to the background after I caught him quoting a portion of it back to me, and called him out. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It was a lucky guess!” 

“Lucky guess my ass. Just what else don’t I know about you?”

This had somehow transformed into us asking one another questions, in an attempt to bond as he put it. Though most of the questions he posed seemed like they were meant to make me laugh, rather than actually produce a conversation of substance. Which was actually all the better, seeing as I had too much time to think these last couple of days. 

“Y/n, if you were a dinosaur, what kind would you be?”

I rolled my eyes and took another sip, “Next question.”

Yoongi raised his hands in mock defense, “I understand, some questions are just too personal,” Yoongi deadpanned, “I apologize.” 

“What’s the point of these questions anyway?” I laughed. 

“To get to know each other, duh.”

“Fine, do you believe in aliens?”

He scoffed, “Not a chance!”

I motioned toward the door, “Get out, I don’t have time for people who don’t believe in aliens.”

“Oh no, I can tell I just opened a can of worms.” Yoongi shook his head, grinning into his glass. “Let’s just agree to disagree.” His face was suddenly serious he watched the couple onscreen. “What was it you liked about him?”

I shrugged, glancing at the new healing cut on Yoongi’s lip. Far too angry with the ways Sal behaved, nothing of substance came to mind. 

“Okay…then what is it that you fall in love with in others, in general?”

“Details.” I answered simply, “I fall in love with details.” I bit my lip and stared at the glass to keep myself from spilling everything I wanted to say. I fall in love with things like your gummy smile, and the way you look when you’re lost in the music. 

“So what was it about him then? What were the details?”

My forehead creased as the frozen fruit swirled in my cup. “It’s stupid, but it probably was never about him, really.” I sat up straighter, my legs folding criss-cross underneath myself, and Yoongi mirrored me, sitting straighter as if to show me I had all of his attention. “I’ve always been hungry for love, I think. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love that I couldn’t take any more. I just wanted to be enough for someone. Just once. And I think I thought that if I gave enough of myself, got close enough, that he’d have to like me too, never mind that we’re incompatible because I care too much, and he doesn’t care at all.” 

“I understand the sentiment,” Yoongi supplied, “It’s difficult when you feel like you share so much of yourself with others, and can only get back a fraction of that in return.” He sighed and rested a hand on mine, “But, sometimes people don’t know how to share their affection with you, and you might come to find that it takes on the weirdest forms. Being loved isn’t always about grand gestures, or kissing in the rain; sometimes it’s giving a stranger coffee he never asked for, or learning hours worth of Studio Ghibli soundtracks because a girl mentioned she liked it once.” 

I slapped a hand over my face, “You didn’t.” 

He chuckled, “Maybe I did, so what? It doesn’t matter. The point is, he might not have looked at you the way you deserve, but there’s plenty of other people out there who show you they love you every day.”

Things were silent for a moment. “I feel guilty in some ways,” I sighed. “I’ve known him longer than anyone else, enough to know he’s been through a lot. So much as he might deserve it at this point, I still feel guilty.”

“Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest, though. It’s about who walked into your life, said ‘I’m here for you’, and proved it. From the looks of it, he was doing a shitty job at that. You’re better off without him.” Yoongi frowned, “And for the record, you are going to be so much more than ‘enough’ for someone, someday. To be honest, you already are.” 

It wasn’t until Yoongi stretched a finger out, swiping a stray tear from my cheek that I realized what was happening. “I don’t even know why I’m crying right now,” I sniffled, hastily wiping the rest, avoiding eye contact with him. “It’s stupid.”

Yoongi tsked softly, his voice light, “I cry all the time! I cry in my bedroom, in the bathroom, in the hallway, in the elevator. In fact this morning, I woke up crying.” He gently pried my hand away from my cheek, turning me to face him.

“Sorry,” I muttered sheepishly. 

“Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. It’s just a sign that you have a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others own a piece of it. Showing your emotions is actually a sign of strength if you ask me. ” I opened my mouth and shut it as quickly as he gave me a look, “Your feelings are valid. You have every right to feel whatever emotion you want. You aren’t being dramatic, and you aren’t over-exaggerating. You’re feeling. And that’s okay.”

I stared at Yoongi, his eyes searching my face as if he wanted to ensure every bit of what he said was absorbed. As his dark eyes took me in, I wondered briefly what they would look like if he fell in love. 

“How do you do it?” I asked softly.

“Do what?”

“Feel so comfortable with yourself. Walk around like you don’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks.”

“People will either like me, or they won’t. It took me twenty-something years to learn how to love myself, and I don’t have that kinda time to convince somebody else.” He shrugged, sending me a soft smile. “Though, now you have me curious. What did you think of me when you first saw me?”

That you were beautiful. “You had more talent in your hands than anyone else I’ve ever met.” 

“Well, that was anticlimactic.” 

I rolled my eyes, teasing him. “You’re not satisfied with my answer? I thought you didn’t care what anyone thought?” 

He shrugged, “I just don’t think it’s fair I had more of an opinion on you, than you had on me.”

“Okay…so what did you think when you first met me, then?” “I thought to myself, ’She looks like someone I’ll be writing about later.’” *** As it would turn out, Yoongi was far better at making french toast than I’d anticipated. And in the weeks that came and left, it turned out he could cook a myriad of other things too. 

He was patient and he was kind, and with each day we spent together I felt like everything that happened with Sal was light years ago. 

Don’t get me wrong, there were good days, and there were bad, but it seemed like the rain was finally coming to an end for me. For the most part. 

“Here, you need some cheering up.” Yoongi walked into the room as I stacked the last chair, and slid the lock on the front door shut. He connected his phone to my speaker, a music streaming through it moments later.

He grabbed my hands and put his own around my waist, tossing the rag in my hand on the counter. I tensed up, embarrassed. 

“I don’t know how to dance Yoongi.”

“It’s okay, I’ll show you!” he started counting, but our feet continued to collide. And he pulled his lip between his teeth in concentration.

“You don’t know how to dance either, do you?” I giggled. 

“Of course I do.” He huffed, continuing to count under his breath. 

“I thought musicians were supposed to have rhythm?” You teased.

“I took lessons once, okay? I know what I’m doing.”

“When was it, when you were five?” 

“I was seven, actually,” He muttered, pouting.

A few steps later and I gave up, taking his hands in mine and swinging his arms in a wild way causing him to laugh.

“That’s not fair I’m supposed to be the one making you laugh, not the other way around!”

I laughed at his ‘frustrated’ body language and we started dancing oddly. 

Yoongi smiles and swings me around, and for the first time in awhile, everything seems bearable.

[starryeyed-char]

Stardust Cafe

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LANCE! To celebrate, I’m posting the first chapter of a slowburn, klance, cafe AU that I’m co-authoring with an irl friend! We’ve had this idea for a while, and we’re really excited to share it with you! The first chapter is the only one that’ll be entirely up here, but I’ll make posts whenever it updates. The entire fic will be posted here on my AO3!

Summary: Keith didn’t expect much when he took a job at his brother’s cafe. And he definitely didn’t expect to meet a group of amazing people that would forever change his life as a result.

Lance didn’t expect to actually befriend his new coworker with an 80′s mullet and absolutely no people skills whatsoever.

Neither of them expected to fall in love.

Chapter One

Getting a job at his older brother’s cafe wasn’t Keith’s idea.

Dropping out of college earlier that year was the best decision he had ever made, but he should’ve known it wouldn’t come without consequences. Those consequences being, namely, dealt out by his brother, Shiro.

Granted, he was supportive of Keith’s decision, but he hadn’t counted on Shiro insisting that he do something with his life.

As far as Keith was concerned, getting his life together and figuring out exactly what he wanted to do should take pretense over actually doing something, but Shiro clearly disagreed.

“You have to get a job,” he’d pointed out. “You’ve incurred a lot of debt since you dropped out of school. You know I support you, but you need some way of earning money while you figure everything out.”

And so Keith had reluctantly agreed to get a job at Stardust Cafe, which was owned by Shiro himself.

Keith didn’t know the exact details, but the previous owner, Alfor something, had left it to Shiro when he passed away, as he’d worked there for all of college and part of high school, and knew he wanted to work in the restaurant business. And, with an incredible stroke of (admittedly bad) luck, Shiro had exactly what he wanted.

This was how Keith ended up pushing open the door to the Cafe, and jumping slightly at the unexpected jingle of bells. He’d never actually been inside Shiro’s cafe before, despite constantly being pestered to go.

He glanced around at the circular tables and chairs in the other half of the shop, and at the back was an elevated platform, that looked almost like a stage, with more seating. That side was separated with an open wall, and Keith looked toward the front.

A few people were standing in line, waiting by the counter. A chalkboard menu behind it listed the food options, and Keith could see the door into the kitchen behind the people working there.

He had vaguely expected Shiro, but he was surprised to find the person standing at the cash register was much younger, probably about Keith’s own age, with dark hair, eyes, and skin. Admittedly, he was kind of cute.

Keith definitely hadn’t thought he’d meet any cute guys because of this job.

The guy behind the counter was glaring down at the cash register as if it had personally offended him, before he turned around and called into the kitchen. “Pidge! I need your number skills!”

A scoff sounded from somewhere inside, and a… boy? girl? walked out carrying a textbook that looked as if it weighed more than her… him… them. They set the large textbook down on the counter, and glanced up at the tall guy.

“Lance, do I have to do everything for you?” Pidge asked, shaking their head.

The guy, who Keith now figured was named Lance, crossed his arms. “It’s not my fault that this cash register doesn’t even work.”

Pidge rolled their eyes. “It works fine, you just don’t know how to use it.” To prove this, they stepped forward and pressed a few buttons before handing change to the waiting customer, a girl with large hoop earrings and a pixie cut, smiling as she left. “Seriously, I’m surprised Shiro doesn’t fire you. This is the easiest job here, and you can’t even do it without my help.”

“I’m surprised Shiro doesn’t fire you,” Lance shot back, as he took money from the next customer before handing it to Pidge. “You spend all your shifts doing physics homework.”

Pidge laughed, handing change back to the customer, along with a muffin from a display case that Lance gave them. “Taking AP Physics sophomore year has its consequences,” they admitted. “But I pick up everyone’s slack. Plus, Shiro likes me, and you all know I need the cash.”

Lance nodded grudgingly, and then his gaze swiveled to Keith, which is when the latter conveniently realized that there was no longer anyone in front of him.

Lance’s eyes widened, almost imperceptibly, which drew Keith’s attention to them. He saw that Lance’s eyes, which he had originally thought to be brown, were actually a deep navy blue.

Keith was about to ask to see the manager, when Lance leaned forward across the counter with a smirk, propping his chin up on his hand. And then, he winked.

Keith’s brain short-circuited.

“Do you have a map?” Lance asked, still smirking, and Keith was so surprised that he almost admitted that yes, he did have a map. But Lance was talking again before he could. “Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

Keith felt his face begin to flame in spite of himself, and there was an audible groan from Pidge. “These one-liners just keep getting worse,” they grumbled.

Lance sighed. “You’re the worst wingman… well, wingperson ever Pidge.”

Pidge sniffed in mock resentment, before cracking a grin. “I don’t remember agreeing to be your wingperson,” they deadpanned, before turning back to a still blushing Keith. “What can I get for you?”

“I…” Keith took a moment to collect himself. “I need to see the manager.”

Lance didn’t miss a beat. “Normally people try our food before they demand to see the manager to complain about it,” he pointed out, still wearing that infuriating smile.

Pidge snorted. “He’s probably going to complain about you, Lance. Didn’t Shiro warn you to stop flirting with all the customers?”

“I’m not a customer,” Keith said, without thinking. “The manager… Shiro’s my… I just need to talk to him, okay?”

“I’ll go see if he’s in the kitchen,” Pidge said, still seeming confused.

“What’re you here for, anyways?” Lance asked, lifting a smoothie (that Keith hadn’t even noticed until now) to take a sip. “If you’re not buying any of our delicious food, I mean. The chef is my roommate, I can personally vouch for him.”

“I’m supposed to start working today, actually.”

Lance nearly choked on his smoothie. “What the fuck?!”

Keith wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just waited for the taller boy to elaborate.

“Did I miss the help wanted sign? You can’t just… there isn’t a job opening!” Lance protested, throwing his hands up in the air as if the world had to be playing a trick on him. “Mierda, first Allura starts working at the counter sometimes, and now this!”

“Well, someone has to pick up your slack, Lance,” a new voice said, and Keith turned to see a woman coming out of the seating area. She had thick, curly white hair done in an elegant bun, and her skin was dark and smooth. She carried an empty tray in each hand, with a pen tucked behind her ear.

“You guys act like I’m the only one that slacks off around here,” Lance muttered under his breath. “Allura, would you please tell this idiot that there aren’t any job openings?”

“That idiot is my brother, Lance,” yet another person spoke, but thankfully Keith knew this one. Shiro had stepped out of the kitchen, followed by Pidge.

Lance’s gaze swiveled back and forth from Shiro to Keith. “This is your little brother Keith?” Shiro nodded. “But… you always talk about how cool he is! You said he has a motorcycle!“

“I do have a motorcycle?” Keith didn’t mean for it to be a question, but the confusion he felt seeped into his voice.

Lance waved a dismissing hand at him. “Sure, but you also have a mullet, and that negates any coolness factor you might have possessed, motorcycle or no.”

“Excuse me?”

Shiro sighed. “Regardless of his hairstyle choices, Keith is my brother, and he’ll be working here with us starting today. That’s not going to be a problem, is it, Lance?”

“I was wondering why you decided to bring everyone in today,” Pidge was already nodding, extending a hand to Keith. “I’m Pidge. Yes, I’m short. Don’t make jokes about it and we’ll get along fine. They/them pronouns, and if you disagree with that sort of thing, then that’s tough for you. Still in high school, by the way, but I’m broke so I started working here. That’s pretty much all you need to know.”

Keith shook their hand, mind trying to process what Pidge had said so quickly. “Uh… great?”

Pidge grinned, and retreated back into the kitchen. “I’ll go get the others.”

“I’m Allura,” the woman who’d walked in earlier chimed in. “This used to be my father’s cafe, but Shiro and Coran own it now… though Coran hates being in charge, which makes Shiro the manager. We have a pretty small staff, and I’m typically the one who waits tables. It’s nice to finally meet you!”

Shiro fixed Lance with an expectant look, and he crossed his arms before glancing up at Keith with an annoyed glare.

“You’re shorter than I thought you’d be,” Lance informed him. “Shiro made it sound like you were some rebellious tough guy.”

“Lance,” Shiro insisted, narrowing his eyes. He sighed, defeated, and shook Keith’s hand.

“The name’s Lance,” he deadpanned. “I work behind the counter.”

That seemed like all he wanted to say, but fortunately for Keith two more people were coming out of the kitchen.

“I’m Hunk,” said the bigger guy, with a friendly smile. He wore a bright yellow apron that was positively covered in flour. Almost the second he was out, Lance leaned an elbow on his shoulder. Hunk sighed fondly. “I’m the chef. I made the majority of what you see here myself.”

“I made some of it,” the other man, an older guy with a mustache, pointed out. “I’m Coran. I help out in the kitchen, but mostly I make drinks.”

“You… make cocktails?” Keith asked, confusion only rising.

Coran barked out a laugh. “Of course not! Smoothies, milkshakes, coffee, tea, and all those things take time to perfect, young man.”

“Well, you’ve met everyone,” Shiro clapped a hand on Keith’s shoulder. “Now you can get to bussing tables. It’s something we’ve all shared the responsibility for, but having someone to do the job by themselves is probably the best course of action.”

Keith nodded. He was a very clean person, and he’d told Shiro that he’d only work at the cafe if he didn’t have to deal with food or people.

“Oh, thank god,” Lance breathed out, before Keith could say anything. “He’s just going to be a busboy.”

Keith scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Lance threw his hands up in surrender. “I’m just glad you aren’t taking my job, that’s all.”

“Don’t worry, Lance, you’re the only one charming enough to ensure that customers always return,” Allura said, her voice walking that thin line between detectable sarcasm and sincerity.

Lance squinted at her, but either decided she was being honest or didn’t care, because he just winked. Then, he grabbed Hunk’s arm and dragged him back into the kitchen.

“You all seem very… nice,” Keith searched for the right words. “I guess I might like working here.”

“You’ll fit right into our dysfunctional family,” Pidge guaranteed with another grin.

“You hit on him, didn’t you?” Hunk asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lance groaned, and buried his face in his hands. “It’s not my fault! Did you see his eyes, Hunk? Those are the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen!”

Hunk shook his head. “You said the same thing about that brunette last week.”

“But I mean it this time,” Lance sighed dramatically, collapsing into Hunk’s shoulder. “And now I have to deal with him every day. He’s probably decided that he hates me already!”

“Relax. You’ve hit on regular customers before, why is this any different?” Hunk tried for encouragement. “Shay forgave you after that atrocious thing you said when you two first met! What was it again…? Something about sedimentary rock—”

Lance smacked a hand over Hunk’s mouth. “I’d rather not go down memory lane for all my past romantic failures, thank you, Hunk,” he grumbled. “It was such a good line, too! One of my favorites!”

“He works here now, sure, but he’s not going to hate you just because of a stupid pick-up line.”

“Pick-up lines aren’t stupid!” Lance cried, clutching a hand to his chest as if wounded. “And even if he doesn’t hate me, I’m not sure I like him all that much. He kind of seems like a jerk.”

“Which, I’m sure, is why you used one of your favorite lines on him,” Hunk said, voice laced with sarcasm. Lance felt his face turn bright red.

“I didn't— I just— okay, FINE! He’s hot! What else do you want me to say?”

Hunk laughed. “I thought you said his mullet negated any sort of cool factor he had?”

“He’s not cool,” Lance protested, shoving Hunk back towards the stove. “But… he kind of… pulls it off I guess? Which you are forbidden from ever telling him, or I will disown you as a best friend and move in with Pidge. After all, the guy still acts like an asshole.”

Hunk just laughed again, returning to making a grilled cheese that a customer had requested. But, as Lance was about to return to the register, he whirled around, grinning.

“I remember now!” he declared, excitedly. “The first time we met Shay was in the winter, when she came to get tea because of a cold, remember? I mean, now she gets it every day, but she was really bundled up, with a scarf and jacket and everything!”

“Oh no—”

“And you said, ‘girl are you a sedimentary rock?’” Hunk did a terrible impression of Lance’s voice, aiming finger guns at his best friend in mockery of Lance’s own behavior. “‘Because I’d love to see what’s under all those layers.’ And she was so surprised she couldn’t respond, so I came out of the kitchen to apologize.”

Lance smacked his head deliberately on the doorframe on the way out, only to meet the confused gaze of Keith. Great, now Shiro’s brother thought he was crazy, too.

It was going to be a long day for the both of them.