#problem is nobody know i bought it so i could eat it without them knowing

[tenrose]

Finished Christmas shopping without buying one more book for me, success

[she-is-ovarit]

This is for all the younger gen Z women, particularly those of you within the ages of 17 to roughly 23. This is written from an American perspective, things might be a little different depending on where you're from.

I graduated high school with the unconscious assumption that certain systems will take care of me. The medical system would educate me on proper nutrition and health issues was probably my largest underlying assumption, but really I just had trust in institutions generally.

This isn't true. You are responsible for learning. As an example, I have been vegetarian since age 14. Nobody talked to me about proper nutrition, they just told me I needed to eat more protein.

I lived a decade of my life having shortness of breath, sleeping issues, clumsiness, cold hands and feet, having brain fog, extreme fatigue, heightened anxiety, etc. My period was extremely light and brown, it'd last for about 2 or so days. I'd go and talk about these problems, and telling doctors that I was vegetarian was one of the first things that came out of my mouth just with any visit because I knew at least that piece was important to communicate.

There was really no action taken over the span of about 10 years. I was told the period thing was normal, that changes for women. A sleep specialist let me know that feeling exhausted was also normal. The brain fog was probably due to anxiety. Here, try allergy medication (tbh that did help for other reasons). Then one day I just asked them to check my vitamin and mineral levels. Prior to this I didn't think you can make requests to doctors, I thought you showed up and they performed tests on what they recommended. With some reluctance from my primary care physician and some compromise because she said my insurance wouldn't cover testing things like B12 levels (I later found out from a nurse that, they would, she would have just needed to fill out extra paperwork), she did some tests.

I found out both my iron and D3 levels were low. What else could be?

I later learned pretty much all the vitamins common to be low for vegetarians were low. D3, magnesium, vitamin Bs, iron, and healthy fats. Bought some liquid vitamins (because the body only absorbs 10% of the pill supplements), began eating an avocado a day, my period became normal for the first time in nine years, and I am able to function.

Another example of how human systems won't educate you: I don't have feeling in some of my toes due to wearing incorrect sized footwear for years resulting in permanent nerve damage. I'm size 11.5 in women's, and I was relying on someone to tell me how proper footwear worked, because surely the guy in the minimum wage position working the footwear section would know.

Don't trust human systems to guide you through how certain things work. Seek specific specialists and experts when you can, and inform yourself on your own. Don't blindly trust search engines like Google, it's not like how it used to be when I was growing up and many millennial adults will tell you to "just google things" because we're used to finding actual substantive answers when we do. However, now, usually whoever pays is who makes the first page or two of search engines, it has nothing to do with what information is "most correct". Don't be afraid to request certain tests be done by doctors or certain referrals made to different specialists.

Edit: And also, I've found general practitioners are terrible when you walk in and tell them about several different symptoms at one time. They're more used to treating one symptom at a time, and they treat the symptom not the root cause. If you go in with a runny nose, general practitioners are going to throw medications at you to try and treat the runny nose, not look deeper into what's causing the runny nose. It's equivalent to if you're in a boat and it's sinking, they're bailing out water without actually fixing the hole or trying to figure out where it is, with the exception of emergency situations and even then it depends.

[moonspirit]

What do u think Annie’s eating habits are like? We know she loves sweet food but what else

Is she a picky eater? Maybe due to being force fed during her training to get more powers.

Does she have trust issues around food?

Is the reason she likes sweet food due bitter things reminding her off the things she had to eat

Side note and a trigger warning for this part but does she have any disordered eating due to how she views her body. From a young age she had an extremely sexulized Titan and could this have affected her?

Hi anon!

Interesting topic tho! I have some thoughts on this, but whether or not they make any sense is beyond me xD

So the reason I have for why she likes sweets so much is because I hc that sugar was probably a hard to get commodity in Liberio. I don't have much of a base when I say this, nor do I remember if anything about daily life in Liberio was ever expanded upon in the manga, but to me, sugar sounds like something that would've cost a lot of money, something we know ordinary Eldian people in the internment zone didn't have much of. I like to think that sugar was bought and saved for the really important occasions like birthdays and weddings, and to get your hands on a sweet treat was considered something special. For fic purposes, I also imagined up an instance where Annie (already a warrior candidate) found herself staring into the windows of a bakery, drawn by the delicious smells and colours of fresh pastries, only to be shooed away from the vicinity by a military officer. That once she and the others successfully became shifters, she had her first taste of a cookie or a cake and she'd have liked more if only her father noticed she liked them and cared to get her some now that he was an honorary Marleyan (but he never did). That on Paradis, she had her first "free" taste of a donut with nobody to admonish her, and cried in her bed because it tasted so good and she could go and buy more and nobody would refuse her.

Also, the sugar gives her an instant dopamine hit lmao. Annie being the sad girl she was, would've found solace in the burst of happiness that eating a slice of cake gave her without having to rely on people-connections for it. Sugar = easy comfort.

Other than sweets tho, I don't hc her as too much of a picky eater. Only normal amount. There's probably some stuff she doesn't like, for example very spicy and pungent food, but except for those preferences, she likely eats most everything without a problem. (some veggies she's not too fond of (maybe peas?) stealthily travel on their own to Armin's plate).

Oh, for some reason, I really like the idea of Annie becoming very attached to chilled mangoes in the summers! (it's me, I'm attached to chilled mangoes in the summers)

Coming to the experiments conducted on her as a warrior tho. Again, personal opinion, but I think it would have more to do with how the thing she was made to eat "looked" rather than just tasted. Zeke's spinal fluid, for example, presented to her either as a murky liquid or as a chunk of his nape (ew T^T) could've brought her to gag on sight alone. Similarly Reiner's hardening ability could've been dished out to her in any number of ways beginning with the hardening "serum" (like the one in the Reiss underground) or as an actual part of Reiner's body (ew again T^T). Other experiments we don't know of could've also taken any form of gruesome appearance. And in all of these, the two most traumatic components that Annie faced were 1. The disgusting appearance of the "food", and 2. The fact that she was force-fed them against her will.

In that regard, I've always felt that she'd absolutely hate being forced to eat anything she doesn't want to. Let's say, even actual healthy harmless food, but if she's not hungry and some well-meaning person tries to *make* her eat, it's not going to go across well.

And now.... for the Disordered eating (TW).

Hmmm, can't say I've ever made a connection between the appearance of her titan and her eating habits tbh. Annie to me seems like a person who's *fond* of eating, especially sweet and sugary stuff and for different reasons as I've stated above. The fact that her titan is the only one that is explicitly sexed in such a way is definitely curious, and its been the subject of debate for years now. However the FT is held in high regard for its abilities and agility (all of which depend on Annie's skill alone), and as such, is considered a high performance machine, likely even by Annie herself. A war machine, a weapon. Having to always stay a step ahead of the enemy in terms of speed, lethality and effectiveness, I think what Annie would've been most worried about is her usefulness and efficiency rather than the shape of her body particularly. That said, I do think Annie would be uncomfortable not exercising or keeping herself in top form in shape at all times, even post-rumbling, since those are routines drilled into her from a very young age and not sticking to them makes her antsy.

I hope that answered all your questions :3!

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

The more I interact with people the more I realize that extroversion is completely unnecessary and unnatural.

No, you do not need social interaction constantly. No you do not need hundreds of friends. Wtf is even small talk.

Humanity flourishes with small familial/found familial groups/friendships, and everyone needs alone time. Very few jobs ACTUALLY require extroversion to thrive. No, I don't want to have a conversation wirh my cashier or barista. We are making a transaction. We don't need to interact. And as time progresses with self service eventually we won't need even that. Don't speak to me if I'm purchasing something from your company. You're not my friend; you exist simply to give me what I am spending money to have. That is your purpose. I know you think becoming my friend will endear me to you so I can save you from the hellscape of boredom your job is, but that's not my obligation. This isn't Great Expectations. Being nice to a stranger won't give you a better life. Getting off your ass and applying yourself will; stop expecting introverts who are independent to do it for you.

Office work probably needs even less interaction. There's no reason FOR office work at all. It's a fact work from home was more productive. Most jobs don't actually need in-person work and if they do they definitely don't need you to be social. If you're in healthcare you fix my ass up and that's it. We dont need to chit chat. We don't even need to go out anymore tbh; that's why have the internet, online shopping, and DoorDash and Instacart. If it is required to go out, shut the fuck up and get back home asap. If you need to be social, go home and talk on the phone or use the internet or text. Nobody wants to hear your squawking laughter at restaurants and unintelligent gabbing at parks and stores. If you can't be noisy at your apartment or house, too bad. Should've bought your own hoke in a more secluded area. Don't make it pur problem. Cell phones in public should be for texting, dipshit. That's why it was invented. If you're waiting for an important phone call, STAY YOUR ASS AT HOME. I don't care about your problems! I don't know you! I don't want to overhear your cunt ass speak!

Any job that """requires""" talking to individuals in a conversational way is bullshit and it isn't actually necessary. Extroverts FORCED it to be a requirement by their nonstop yammering and FORCING people to put up with their look at me look at me main character syndrome. NOBODY should be making friends in a workplace environment anyway. Do you want to be betrayed and manipulated? Wait you're an extrovert. You're the one throwing us under the bus.

Do you think cavemen were partying and laughing noisily as possible and bragging about how social they are? No they were being quiet so they could hunt to survive. I guarantee that extroverts were killed by bears in the past. You think peasants and servants were making asses of themselves in public and forcing everyone to pretend they weren't annoyed? Do you think slaves were walking slow on sidewalks and taking up space in aisles to chat and never getting their work done because they were playing around but get away with being lazy because they're ass kissing their bosses with their extroversion? No. But you know who was doing that shit? Their rich ass elite royals and slave owners. Servants mind their business and Eat the Rich sociopaths were gossiping. Extroverts will manipulate everyone around them by playing invented games like "how to act exactly as society demands and say all the right opinions without offering an actual opinion" to get everyone on their side then you'll see how they act off the clock and they're totally different. This is SOCIOPATHY. You're a schmoozing sociopath who fucking lies and everyone thinks you're annoying and hates your fucking GUTS but Society demands we can't tell it how it is.

TLDR; extroversion is an invented word to cover for psychopathy, manipulation, and coercive control over the masses.

[beeslibrarycorner]

Holiday Kisses

Connor x reader X RK900

Word count: 677

Warnings: drunk coworker, hickies

Request: Hi , i just had this Idea for Christmas . So like the DPD organized a christmas party , Connor the reader and Nine were invited and the reader was wearing the most prettiest dress . Connor and nines were talking to people and the reader was eating in her corner when a drunk guy approach her and try to take her but the jealous RK brothers save her . When they return home Connor and nines leave some hickey on her neck so nobody touch their and only their humain. 

The day of the annual DPD Christmas party has finally arrived and everyone in the precinct was excited to finally let loose. 

The paper work was finished and all the files were organized for the end of the year. Connor and RK900 were excited to celebrate the upcoming holidays with you, their love.

The official party was at the bar down the street from the precinct. Everyone dressed up for this party, it wasn’t sweaters and Christmas themed attire. People went to the party in suits and dresses. 

So you decided that you would wear the prettiest dress you saw in a consignment shop by your apartment. It was red and made of a satin material. 

Connor and RK900 were big fans of the dress when you showed it to them the day you bought it. The both of them were very excited to see you wearing it for the party.

So on the night of the party, you applied a light amount of makeup and slipped your dress on. Meanwhile Connor and RK900 were getting ready, getting dressed and putting on their shoes.

When the three of you were finished, the two of them whisked you away to the party. As you entered the bar you noticed people looking at you, you went to get a table for the three of you. 

When dinner was being served Connor and RK900 were getting drinks with Sixty and talking about all the crazy things that happened throughout the year.

You heard shuffling behind you but you brushed it off as someone was trying to walk by, but it got closer. “Hey there, detective”, you turn to see one of the desk jockeys from the filing department lean up against the wall behind you.

“Hey yourself, I think you need to slow down on the drinking” you say and he gets closer to you. “You want to get out of here, I’m done for the night and you're just too beautiful to leave without.” He said inching closer.

Before you could say anything in reply you were interrupted, “Mr Callahan, how about you go home to your wife and kids instead of whatever sad attempt this is” you turned and saw RK900  standing by the table you were sitting at.

“Whatever you bucket of bolts” the guy said before stumbling off. Connor came over a second later along with Sixty and you had no other problems for the rest of the party. 

When the three of you got home, you had taken off your dress and slipped into some pjs, the same went for Connor and RK900. You cleaned the makeup from your face and quickly rinsed off in the shower.

When everything was done you walked out into the living room to see your two loves sitting on the couch talking about the night.

When you got close enough to them RK900 pulled you into his lap, his arm holding you in place so you couldn’t go anywhere. Connor scooched closer to the both of you.

Connor went in for a kiss and you happily kissed him back. You felt RK900 rest his head on your shoulder, nuzzling his nose against the skin of your neck.

You felt him kiss your neck, his lips were cold and you squealed from the contact; giggling as he started to playfully scatter kisses along your neck and shoulder. 

Connor pulled away and started to press kisses to the other side of your neck. You gasped when you felt Connor lean in and suck a mark into your neck. Your felt RK900 does the same to your collar bone, you blushed. 

After sucking a mark into the skin behind your ear, RK900 pressed a kiss to the side of your head. “We got to make sure everyone in the precinct knows that you're ours” he murmured.

Connor suddenly blew a raspberry into the skin of your neck making you scrunch up and giggle, leaning into him. The night was filled with cuddles and laughter and you couldn’t have it any other way.

[potaetopic]

Like Strangers Do by AJ Mitchell

I miss the taste of your lips on Sunday

And the sound of your laugh when I say something funny

But nobody heard it, except for you

sunday. the day that he loves the most and can't wait for. wake up to your kisses, cooking together while sneaking some kisses, cleaning and clings to you when he's done with his chores, watching shows together, with his arm around you and your face on his chest, admiring you after you sleep thinking how lucky he is to have you in his life.

he whispers under his breath. with all the noises from this housewarming party of your friend, he doubts anyone heard him. but your laugh surprises him, head throws back, your right hand covering your mouth while the left one slapping your thigh. his heart soften at the sight, knowing that you always pay attention to him. no matter how many people surrounds you.

And my mom still ask about you

I lie and say we friendly

'Cause I don't have it in me, to tell the truth

he is eating on the table, with his family. talking about everything and nothing at all. the mood is light, not until his mom mentioned about you. he can feel the shift from the air, his left leg starts shaking under the table. he lies through his teeth, saying that you guys still keep in touch, texting each other every once in a while. he doesn't have the heart to say that he has no idea what you're up to, except from your instagram stories. but seeing his mom lights up at his answer, he glads with his choice of words.

I miss the way that you looked in your sundress

The way that you looked when you undress

The sound of your first steps across the room

getting out of your sleepwear, the way your pink cheeks forming as if he haven't seen anything before. you look adorable, he thought. to save himself from any delay from the date that awaits both you, he waits for you in the living room while playing his phone, till' he heard your footsteps and looks up. oh god, you look incredible in that dress. the one he bought for you on your 2nd anniversary. it seems like he can't stop staring and apparently he had his mouth open. when you tried to shy away from him, he stand up and hug you, swirling you, non-stop praises comes out from his lips. he must have save a country in past life to be blessed with you.

Now my friends don't ask about you

'Cause they think I'm fine without you

I say it's all good but it's never true

it seems like everyone is tiptoeing around him after the break. at first, it was a bit suffocating for him but as time passed he just becomes numb. and his friends don't seem to worry anymore since he always assured them that he's fine. he doesn't want to worry anyone with his feelings, he thought. everyone have their own problems, he thought. but god knows how hard it still is for him to endure.

You and me, what are we if we not together?

It could be nothing 'cause nothing last forever

honeymoon phase, they said that every couple have these and it won't last forever. but it's been years, and he is still in love with you very very much, as if it was the first time when he recognized these feelings for you. it scares him as people around him say that these moments will soon comes to an end, but he never believe those, as he thought that they don't feels how he feels for you. they don't know anything to make such assumptions. but the nagging voice inside him will not die down, so he asks you. "what do you think will happen if we never works out?" he remembers your sudden silence when he throws that question and regrets for voicing it out. stupid him, should have sewed his mouth altogether, he thought. "nothing maybe, 'cause ya' know? nothing lasts forever right? that way, we will last forever too", you said while poking his nose on your last word. let's focus on the things that are happening right now. they're called present because it is a present that you will forever cherish, no matter what, said you while wrapping your hands around him. he swears, his heart is about to jump out of their place and kissed your head, promised to himself to focus on the present too.

If you saw me on the train would you look the other way?

Like strangers do

after the end of the office hours, he, like every other person can't wait to come home. hopping onto the train, he clutches the handrails and listens to songs played from his earbuds. mindlessly watching these people that is the same as him, he caught you in his sight. sitting while playing your phone. he thought that you're gonna look up so he look the other way, until he comes to his stop.

And if you passed me on the street

Would you look down at your feet

And move on through?

Like strangers do

it was saturday. on your way to get some morning coffee before meeting up with your friends, suddenly stop on your track, you look back, watching the back of someone that you thought was him getting smaller and smaller. you thought it was him, there's still the smell of his perfume in the air. or maybe it's just your nose playing tricks on you. you don't know which to believe anymore. shaking your head, you proceed on your way.

standing in front of each other, with the road becomes the barrier from you and him. after so long, you thought that pain has healed, but how wrong of you. seeing his face again, staring into his eyes. even though, the light turns green, none of you move from your spot. would you ignore him and passed by him? would he go to you, said hi, and then go with his way?

[bluedragonbooks]

Adjacent 09 of 25

We moved as fast as we could sustain, putting as much distance between us and the town as we could. As dawn came, I called a halt as soon as I spied what was needed.

"Take off your undershirts and give them here." "Why?" asked Elric. "Because you stink like a Boar in Rut, and they'll probably send hounds after us." I scampered up a nearby tree and hung the clothes where they would catch the breeze. We’d ditched Gerry's uniform hours ago.

"Now into the stream and scrub yourselves and your clothes, then rub yourself all over with this." "Why?" … honestly, he’s like a 2 year old sometimes …why, why, why …

"Elric, we stink. Wintergreen will disguise your stink; dog's bane will deter the hounds; it won't stop them chasing us but it might slow them down. Wizard, is there by chance a cross-road or a different path we can take?"

The Wizard surveyed the landscape "One hour or maybe two and we'll be at a village; a bath and a change of clothes should lessen our scent without costing us too much time. The village marks the edge of this lord's domain; I doubt they would pursue us beyond it, and there are several roads we can take from there."

"We're probably at least 6 hours ahead of them, even if they have horses, they can’t move any faster than any hounds, assuming they’re using them. Either way, we can afford time for a bath. Lead on."

When we got to the village, we were able to secure clothes and a bath; we had enough provisions for now.

I led Elric and the wizard up the shorter path to our next destination for a good 15 minutes, dumped our old clothes then doubled back, thereby doubling our scent; then we sprinkled ourselves liberally with a cheap but potent scent I had bought and took the longer path; we did not stop till nightfall - eating as we walked. We spent the night in an abandoned barn without a fire. When morning dawned, we were still undiscovered, and resumed our journey.

Elric waited till mid-morning "By the Saints, I'm still horny. I don't know what you did to that fellow, but I feel sorry for him, I could probably drive my dick thru a board."

The Wizard replied "I concur, if you could bottle that lad, old men would pay you a fortune"

So, it wasn't just me then, Fuck. I felt sorry for poor Gerry - I'd probably overdone it ...

As we walked, I called Gerry to mind and sang the counter-spell to dissolve any remaining enchantment. After the third time the Wizard spoke, "That seems to have done it".

...

Destiny is a fickle bitch, and she took a week to catch up to me and deliver my punishment.

We kept moving and a few days later hit a town big enough for another Wizards Guild. We took a few days to rest, reprovision and get the stench of the road out of our clothes and off our bodies. We'd left our problems 6 days behind us - or so we thought.

We'd gone to bed early but risen late. So, it was mid-morning before we were headed out of town; still working our way west to whatever destination the Wizard had in mind.

I rounded a corner and ran face-first into Gerry. Shit!

Elric grabbed him and slammed him into a wall "Why are you following us?"

"Not following, just on the road ... I left; they found me unconscious and couldn't wake me; Fenric, the one who put you in the other cell. He called a healer, she told them you drugged me ... pretty potent stuff apparently; I was out of my wits for a day and a half."

"They'd already figured out the villagers had tricked you, and they were going to let you go, but you were already gone ... so it seemed pointless to chase you. They said it wasn't my fault, and no-one blamed me ... not really; but I was embarrassed, and I could tell they were disappointed; so when I felt better - well, I ain't got no living kin - so, I just left."

Shit. His words ran out and he just stood there looking sheepish. "Let him go Elric"

I looked at the Wizard and he looked at me; and then I looked at Gerry and then back at Elric who just shrugged. The silence stretched and nobody spoke until final Elric swore and broke the deadlock.

"Oh, for god’s sake; you like him, he likes you - he's got nowhere else to go; He might as well tag along; you'll have someone to fuck with, and I'll have someone to spar with. You ok with that Wizard?"

"Umm yes, well, umm, I suppose ... meeting again like this - serendipity - let's just trust to destiny shall we."

"Bollocks to destiny, I'm more inclined to believe he remembered we were headed west; and followed his dick for another chance at Dafid’s arse - whether he consciously knew it or not. Dafid called you Gerry …You got a pack? Provisions? ... Yes, well I'm Elric, you're already well acquainted with Dafid; he's the wizard; Ok introductions are done - let's get moving."

[ninelivesastrology]

Honestly people definitely have a problem with certain types of people making money online. It's not just money, but the attention. A lot of envy comes from people who don't want to do the work of content creation or they do under the idea that it's "easy" which is why they project the idea that content creation isn't real work.

The same cowardly pocketwatchers I knew were passive aggressively saying "Nobody wants to work anymore," around me but NEVER TO ME were either unemployed for 15+ years with no income at all and dumped their kids on someone else or never bought groceries because they were under the influence constantly. Their projection onto me was a confession of their own current circumstances and limitations.

To even determine your own price is to hurt an insecure person's feelings because if someone's working for $13 an hour, only getting paid every two weeks, wouldn't be able to make ends meet without sacrificing and if you charge $60 for an hour of your time and it's on your website or whatever, they're going to get insecure.

Even within content creation communities, there's envy.

Content creation takes a lot of creativity and innovation. People think creative people should starve. People are so brainwashed that they think other people shouldn't have more money than them based on shit like race, class (!!!!!), gender, color, sexuality, etc...

And when it comes to spiritual communities, there's double the envy and discrediting from outsiders because "astrology isn't real" and it's someone projecting their lack of belief onto you. I find people to be really envious and spiteful towards astrologers.

The internet used to be a generous lottery where you could carve your own niche lane, build a following, build a cliente and really reap your rewards. Algorithms change, like Instagram. Websites get sold and destroyed like Twitter where you have to pay for exposure.

I'm sure every good content creator has a story or multiple stories around envy, clout-chasing, pocketwatching or attempted sabotage, like I fucking do that's for sure. I ended up homeless because one of the reasons were people didn't like that I worked from home and was making any amount of money. Even just tips bothered them bad. Kind of turns out that it was physically safer for me to do that which makes me see those people as really soulless. Crazy is not the word.

It can never be, "I want you to eat, but not with me," instead it's, "I want you to starve and lose everything because you made me feel small and I can't do what you do." That's the result of envy.

They can't! I know we wanna say, "You can do it, too," but they can't and they won't because they're not built like us.

I dunno, protect yourself out here.

TED TALK: jealousy of influencers/content creators

i completely understand the pain of a 9-5 job but it does truly annoy me when someone says “the privilege these influencers have to do barely anything and make sm money” like.. then u go do it too? u don’t have to be pretty like u did on musically to be famous anymore. u can post cooking content like nara smith (not saying she isn’t gorg btw), comedy vids like brittany broski or theo von, u could even post vids not showing ur face and make bank from posting streamers/gamer clips. what is the excuse? u can do it too. it takes 5 seconds to make a vid and edit it.. just like u said.. “it’s so easy for them”. it could be easy for u too. if one niche doesn’t work, try another. there’s an endless amount of ways u could make money on tiktok or instagram

[soulmate-game]

Hawkmoth was a bitch, and Marinette meant that with every fiber of her soul. Fu was also a bitch, and Marinette actually had good memories of the guy. Not many, but she had some. The fact that the guy got two ten-year-olds to become super heroes and fight a supervillain for him kinda soured those memories, though. But with Chat Noir not allowed to leave his house? Yeah, even as young as they were it only took about a year to find out who HawkMoth was and another year to take him down.

Except, that left Marinette alone. The final battle took her mom away, and Chat had to move out of Paris after his dad was arrested. Luckily Jagged allowed her and her papa to move into his house in Gotham, and everything was…

Well, it was okay. For about a month.

Then her dad was gone too, and she had no way to talk to Jagged, and the police were scaring her—

Yeah, that was the basic order of events that led to where she was now. Pushing fourteen years old, ex-superhero, protector of a magical box of gods, stealing the tires off of a very nice motorcycle.

Marinette was tempted to just take the whole thing, she loved bikes and knew she could drive it. But the thing had more security than she knew what to do with, and the fact that it belonged to Red Hood… she didn’t want to deal with trackers today, thanks. So the tires it was.

Should she maybe care more about the fact that she was stealing from a vigilante with a violent streak? Maybe. Did she? Hell no. For all she knew, maybe Red Hood was a bitch too. (Yes, she was still learning English slang. She was fluent by educational standards, but learning how to curse in a foreign language was fun and she still had a little bit to go. Her few street friends were very happy to help).

A shadow dropped down in front of her, and Marinette’s hero instincts kicked in. The tire iron she was using cut through the air, slamming right into the side of Red Hood’s knee.

—*—*—*—*—*

“Hood,” Batman’s voice grumbled over the comms, instantly grabbing the attention of everyone else who was on the comms. It wasn’t as gruff as he usually sounded, in fact it almost sounded like… he was trying not to laugh?

“Did you get gassed by Joker?” Dick asked before Jason got a chance to respond. “Need backup?”

“No,” Batman responded, sounding a little more composed. “Not a rogue. But Hood, I need you to join me at my location as soon as possible.”

Finally getting the chance to talk, Jason responded a little warily; “Sure, B. Wait,” he blinked at the location that was sent to him. “Isn’t that where my bike is parked?”

Batman didn’t respond at first, only the sound of labored breathing— again, as if he was trying not to laugh. “Just get here, Hood.”

Sighing, but not too mad since the night had been fairly quiet so far, Jason decided to humor the old man and head over. When he could see the cape-clad back of Batman, he easily leapt over the last roof and sauntered over.

“Okay, B,” he had his thumbs tucked in his pockets as he drawled. “What’s the issue?”

Batman was grinning. As in, actually showing amusement. And he just pointed down, straight at Hood’s bike.

Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet, turning to look. At first he didn’t see anything amiss, until he saw movement and looked harder. Oh. Oh, holy shit.

“Is that a kid?”

“Yep,” Batman’s grin grew.

“Is she… stealing my tires?” Hood was so, so glad he wore a helmet that hid his expression. Because… wow.

“Yep,” Batman finally lost his composure, chuckling. “This seems like Karma, don’t you think?”

“And you just watched her so you could rub it in,” Jason groaned, throwing his head back in exasperation. Of course he would. Nobody knew it (except the other heroes who knew him) but Batman was a petty little jerk when he wanted to be. He bought the whole Daily Planet just to spite Clark, for crying out loud.

“Don’t adopt her,” Batman said as he stood up, patting Red Hood’s shoulder. “It looks like she’s almost done.”

“Shit,” Jason hissed, looking down to see that she was, actually, very close to being done. She had already had one tire completely free by the time he had arrived, and now she was only seconds away from getting the other one completely free.

He took a quick assessment— she was tiny, and really thin. Definitely a street kid, he thought, though he didn’t recognize her. He knew most of the street kids that stole to get by, nowadays, which meant she must have been fairly new. But even though she seemed to know what she was doing, her small frame made her take longer unscrewing the tires than it normally would have taken. Sure that she wasn’t a threat by any stretch of the imagination, he jumped down. His plan had been to startle her a little by showing up out of nowhere, but he didn’t want to scare her too badly. Just make her jump a little.

But he had underestimated her, it seemed. Without wasting a second, she jumped up and swung her tire iron at his knee. He cursed, she was a lot faster than her had been expecting. He was able to move so that the weapon only clipped the side of his knee, his knee pad thankfully taking the worst of it. She still hit hard enough to make him stumble and hiss in pain though, which was an accomplishment.

That’s when she abandoned her weapon and her tires, darting to try and escape only for Batman to drop down and block her escape. Though really, it was the grin Batman had that scared the girl most of all, apparently, making her slowly back away from him.

“Please stop smiling,” she begged with a faint French accent to her words. “It is not natural.”

That made Red Hood laugh, already recovered and right behind her. He plopped a gloved hand on her head.

“I know, it’s creepy right?” He joked. “What’cha doin’ stealing my tires, kid? I kinda need them to drive anywhere,” he was careful to keep his voice light and devoid of any anger. He wasn’t really upset, all told. It would be hypocritical of him if he was.

She looked between the two vigilantes for a moment, clear intelligence behind those bright blue eyes as she seemed to consider something. Suddenly she pulled away from Red Hood and stepped away from his reach, straightening up and trying to look tall.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng,” she said as firmly as she could. “My father was Tom Dupain, he was killed in a mugging three months ago. We were living in a house that our family friend leant to us after my mother’s death six months ago, and we moved here from Paris. I haven’t been able to contact him, and the police… I don’t trust them,” she admitted, clearly seeing this as the chance she had been waiting for. “I have been living on the streets since my father died. I am sorry for trying to steal your tires, Monsieur Red Hood. But it was a risk I had to take.”

“Did you expect us to catch you?” He asked, crossing his arms as he re-evaluated the girl. She was a lot stronger than he had assumed earlier, both physically and mentally. She seesawed her hand to indicate ‘kinda’.

“Even if you didn’t, I could make good money off your tires,” she justified with a shrug. “To me, I would win either way.”

“Who is your family friend? Can he help you now, take you in?” Batman asked, moving forward and kneeling down to be closer to Marinette’s height. Neither he nor Jason had missed the part where she was an orphan, but they had expected that considering what they had caught her doing. And they both knew that she wasn’t likely to take any apologies they tried to offer very well. It was best not to show pity, or she might get angry.

Marinette frowned. “... Our family friend is Jagged Stone. He lets me call him Uncle Jagged,” she told them, clearly expecting the disbelieving grunts they gave. “I mean it! You can call him, he might even be looking for me! I—“

“We know,” Hood assured her, now kneeling down as well. Man, she was short. “Calm down, we know you’re telling the truth. Jagged has made several public announcements about his missing honorary niece, we just didn’t recognize your name right away. And Jagged doesn’t have access to very many pictures of you, those he does have the Mayor isn’t allowing him to show because that spineless jackass—“

“Language, Hood.”

“—Cares more about keeping bad press off the air than finding a kid, even if it’s a world famous rockstar who’s asking. That’s probably why you haven’t heard anything, the mayor’s keeping it off the radio and not many reporters are brave enough to take the story and get on his bad side.”

“Oh…” Marinette took a deep breath, fighting the tears that were threatening to rise up. “He has been looking…” she sniffled, curling in on herself a little. “Can you take me to him?”

“I think we can do that,” Batman agreed, standing up. “I’ll contact him. Red Hood, can you handle everything here until I give you a place to meet up with Jagged Stone?”

Jason nodded. “No problem, B. Come on, little rabid pixie. Step one of gettin’ you back to your uncle is to help me fix my bike back up.”

Marinette sighed, shoulders dropping. “All my hard work, undone…” she playfully complained. But in the end she didn’t argue or fight against it, she just sat down and helped him reattach his tires.

All the while, Jason’s family kept teasing him over the comms. Clearly they were also thoroughly amused by the cosmic display of karma.

“...Monsieur Hood,” Marinette asked once they were done repairing the motorcycle and he had given her his too-big extra helmet. He tilted his head a bit to show he was listening. She squirmed. “Can… can we stop by my hideout? I have something really important I have to get.”

Jason smiles gently under his mask. She might not have been a street kid for very long, but she really did bring back some memories for him. He got on his bike and held a hand out to her.

“Sure thing kid. Wanna grab something to eat after? Can’t have a reunion on an empty stomach.”

She gave him a lopsided smile— not quite overjoyed, but definitely hopeful and thankful. Maybe this was the end of her streak of bad luck, she could only hope.

“Only if you don’t mind, Monsieur Hood,” she agreed before taking his hand and letting him help her onto the bike.

“No skin off my back, pixie,” he assured her. Then they were off. He followed her directions until they got to an abandoned building about three miles away, not in a good part of town at all but at least not in crime alley. Marinette easily led him through the building, skirting around other piles of ratty blankets and up broken stairs until they got to the badly-maintained top floor. She led him over to an almost invisible door in the concrete wall that pulled out to reveal what was probably a broom closet once upon a time. It was crowded with what looked like junk and empty boxes, along with a few blankets and two or three changes of clothes that were clearly her’s. A few belongings scattered around— a book, a small pink purse, and… Marinette came out of the pile of mess holding what had clearly been a very carefully hidden box. She also grabbed the purse and slung it over her shoulder, but didn’t seem worried about anything else.

Jason frowned at the box. It wasn’t that big, but it was clearly made of old wood. There were intricate carvings that were painted pink, in a symbol that was itching at the back of his mind. He recognized that symbol, but from where?

“Ready to go, kid?” He asked as he thought about it, getting a nod from Marinette. Twenty minutes later they were at a Batburger, sitting in a shaded booth that couldn’t be seen from the street.

She never let the box out of her sight. She kept it on the seat next to her, and Jason noticed that she tried to keep one hand on it at all times. But when she spoke, now her French accent stood out to him even more than before. But why—?

And then it clicked. Paris. Hawkmoth. Ladybug, Chat Noir, magic artifacts called Miraculous. Wonder Woman had raised a fuss when the heroes disappeared, declaring that something was wrong but she couldn’t put her finger on what. Then the magic users they trusted were called in, and returned from Paris with the grim news that the former Guardian of those artifacts had activated a failsafe and passed the guardianship on to someone else while erasing his own memories at the same time. But nobody knew who he could have passed it on to, so Batman had been given the green light to do all the research he and his team could into the Miraculous box to try and help track it down.

And here it was. The carvings were in pink now, which might have been the “cosmetic change” that Constantine had mentioned might happen when the box changed guardians. He had found the box full of super powerful magical artifacts… in the hands of a newly orphaned street kid who couldn’t have been older than fourteen at best.

What the hell?

“...” Red hood reached into his pocket and pulled out an old receipt and a sharpie. He scrawled on the back of the receipt and handed to Marinette. The girl was halfway into a bite of her burger when he did, and blinked at him owlishly before swallowing and cautiously reaching out to grab it. She frowned at the numbers scrawled there.

“What’s this?” She asked.

“My contact info,” he explained. “I won’t ask questions about why you have that box,” he watched her instantly stiffen but continued as casually as he could; “but it doesn’t matter. You can call me if you ever need help with anything, kid. Help with that box, help if you get in trouble in Gotham again, or even if you’re having a bad day. You can call me for whatever, got it? I don’t care if you think it’s stupid, if you can’t talk to anyone else in your life you can always call or text me and I’ll do whatever I can. Got it?”

“...” Marinette sniffled for a second and looked down at the table in silence for a second. “... what if I want your motorcycle?” she joked, but the watery tone of her voice gave her away.

Jason laughed, patting her head. “I need my bike, but we can talk about getting you your own once you are old enough to get a license. You almost done? Bats says that Jagged is ready to meet you, I can take you to him right now.”

“Yeah, lets go!” she was newly energized and shoved the last bite of burger into her mouth greedily. “And Red Hood?” She asked as they headed out to where he had parked.

“Yeah, kid?”

“Thanks.”

—*—*—*—*—*

Permanent tag list (I remembered it this time!)

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[moemoemammon]

Ok. I need to get this idea out to someone. Solomon and mc are messing with potions for class and he accidentally gives mc a “youth” potion that makes you look younger. It turns mc into like a 4 year old for like a couple of days. What do you think would be the demon brothers (any) reaction to babysitting their master? What would they do? Idk i think it would be a little funny.

You’ve Gotta Be KIDding me, MC!

(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)

✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦

Lucifer

He'll be exchanging words with that sorcerer bastard later. You can bet on that.

Lucifer doesn't take kindly to the idea of MC having run ins with magic in general, but at least this seems to be on the tamer side of the magical spectrum. And he had to admit, it's sort of amusing.

He intentionally watches you try to handle things on your own. Be it reaching for things too high up, stubbornly carrying things too heavy for your tiny arms, or making messes when you try to tidy up, Lucifer waits patiently until you ask for help (or until he can't take it anymore).

Treats you like he always does, despite your size. He doesn't talk to you like a child, or try to force toys and nap times onto you, but may or may not tease you when it's only the two of you. After all, you may look like a child, but that doesn't mean you are one. It's still funny to harass you a little, though.

"As independent as you may be, please refrain from trying to climb up onto the counter. If you need something, ask one of my brothers, or myself. If that isn't obvious enough, perhaps a 'time-out' is in order?"

Mammon

When Mammon recovers from laughing for twenty minutes, (and also making threats on Solomon's life) he then decides to take a billion pictures of you. Now calls you 'munchkin' and variations of it.

And if you thought he was clingy before, just wait till you see how he is now. You're ACTUALLY helpless and vulnerable. I mean, you'd hardly make an appetizer for a random demon! So Mammon's gotta keep an eye on you. Maybe even a toddler leash-

Unintentionally treats you like an actual child. His older brother mode kicks in, and he finds himself taking care of you as naturally as breathing. Mammon? Being responsible?? It's more likely than you think.

He hands you a cup of juice before you can say 'I'm thirsty'. He'll slide over some sliced up fruits before your stomach has a chance to growl. You're tired? No kidding. That's why he's got a blanket and pillow on the sofa for you.

"Where do ya think you're goin', short stack? Nowhere without ME, that's where! I already told ya, if there's somethin' ya need, just tell me!" "Huh? I'm spoilin' ya too much? S-so what if I am?!"

Levi

Solomon came in with a child in tow that looked a hell of a lot like MC, and this man nearly had a heart attack. There's no way... did those two have a secret love child?! Th-that's just-!! Oh, it's only MC.

WAIT A MINUTE...TH-THIS IS....! ISNT THIS JUST LIKE 'DETECTIVE C*NAN'? Uwaaah... Just look at you! You're still just as smart as before, but you've become super small! Talk about the ultimate gap moe!!!

Levi isn't a big fan of the idea of tiny, sticky hands touching his things, so he's glad you've still got your normal brainpower. That being said, he finds himself talking to you normally. Maybe even easier than before!

It kinda throws him off that you guys can't do the things you'd normally do together. Your fingers don't have their usual dexterity so playing games is a challenge, and your attention span is a little shorter so these TSL marathons are killing you. But have no fear, Levi knows a ton of other things you could do together! He won't let something like this spoil his time with his dear Henry!

"If you can't use the controller, let's try something that doesn't need one! I've got a new Ruri Hana VR game with REAL motion and voice tracking! If you say the spells out loud, you'll cast them in game! Ah, and it auto-adjusts to the player's height, so there's nothing to worry about!"

Satan

HES DOING HIS BEST NOT TO LAUGH. SATAN WILL HANDLE THIS WITH POISE AND GRACE, BUT MAN....

Watching you struggle to enter the House of Lamentation in your oversized RAD uniform nearly sent him to the stratosphere. He inhaled tea when you almost tripped over your blazer and had to get a couple of slaps on the back from Asmo.

Does his best to find a cure for your 'little' problem, but the most that can be done is waiting it out. In the meantime, would you like him to read you a story? Large books are probably difficult on your tiny hands.

Constantly catches himself treating you like a tot. He's not trying to, but he can't help himself when he sees your round eyes staring up at him, or when he watches you try to climb up onto an armchair.

"Up we go- There. It must be hard for you, having to climb up into the chairs like that. I've got a stool if you'd like to use it? Though, I don't mind if you sit on my lap, too." "Hm? I'm embarrassing you? I-I didn't realize how overzealous I was being. Ehem...."

Asmo

Oh that Solomon and his silly spells and potions, always making trouble! It's just one of his many charm points! And seeing as there are no permanent consequences from this harmless mishap, Asmo's enjoying it to the fullest.

Can you blame him? You're SOOOO cute~! So tiny and adorable! Why would've know that was possible?? Look this way, MC! He wants to take some pictures of you! Lowkey uses you as a photo op prop

He used to work part time at a daycare, you know? Asmo's great with kids! But that also means he's treating you like one. There's personalized snacks, cute little nicknames, and he's already gone and bought you a week's worth of clothes. Nobody tell him it'll only last a day-

He can be a little annoying with the baby talk and all the little activities he's planned for you, but you can tell he's enjoying himself.

"MC, look~! I've got plenty of ribbons to decorate your hair with! I'll let you choose your favorites, and then we can set out in town!" "Hm? Where are we going? To the playground, silly! You must be dying for a play date after being stuck in this dreary house all day, right?"

Beel

He was kinda teetering between whether or not he should throw Solomon across the yard like a football when he saw him carrying a teeny MC, but all was forgiven when he learned it was an accident.

Has now designated himself the permanent MC carrier. Your feet will never touch the ground so long as you're a child. And it's no problem for the likes of Beel, when you're as light as a feather! That makes him a little more conscious about being careful with you though-

Be it piggybacking or carrying you in his arms, he hasn't released you since he's spotted you. And don't think he's forgotten about feeding you. Beel's also taken your meal prep upon himself. You'll prefer things that've easy to eat, right? Though it kills gum to give you smaller portions than usual.... it feels cruel...

Somewhere between babying you and treating you as usual. He speaks normally to you as he always does, but prioritizes your needs over everything else. He wants to make sure you're well taken care of until this potion wears off.

"You're sure you've had enough to eat? I know I gave you a snack earlier, but... to think you really can't eat as much as before.. I'll talk to Solomon again. It must be torture to have such a tiny stomach, I'll do my best to get you back to normal."

Belphie

There's obvious opportunity here, and Belphegor won't let it go to waste. (No not for murder)

He's getting a kick about your new mini mode. How's the weather down there? Do you need him to pick you up so you can reach the high shelves? Don't worry, he'll get you a sippy cup.

When the teasing has settled down, he pays attention to a more pressing matter: you're now the perfect side for cuddling. You're a living hot water bottle, not too big, not too small, tiny and soft and adorable. Er, he won't mention that last part though.

Anyway, Belphie thinks a little kid like you should go on and take a nap now. It's exhausting having such short legs and wandering around the house all day, right? He gets it. You look tired and he knows the solution.

"Ah, you're just as cozy as I thought you'd be... Though, it feels kind of weird holding you like this. It's like holding a stuffed animal, but you're not nearly as cute." "Pfft, what's that face for? Sorry, sorry, I was only teasing."

[jakecstasy]

≡ ENHYPEN HELPING YOU TO BABYSIT !

© sooboys — please don’t translate/copy. 

female!reader, fluff, crack, non-idol!au, established relationship!au. 1,7k words. this idea came up all of a sudden and i had to write it down right away, i hope you have a soft spot for domestic!enhypen like me ♡

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS ENHYPEN POST

—  HEESEUNG ... !

poor heeseung is clueless. you were desperate for company to avoid staying alone in your mother's friend's huge house, which resulted in him showing up at the door with a bag full of candy (because that's the only thing he could think of when you mentioned the word child).

the kid you’re babysitting doesn't even know him and still gains his trust with the present, like any existing child. since heeseung has no idea what he has to do, he plays along with the games that emerge from the innocent little mind and looks for a way to show that he's a real pro at them. 

your boyfriend of whole 20 years, taking the small colored stones in his hand: "y/n, tell this kid that nobody beats me at gonggi" you, listening from the other end of the room as you fold the boy's clothes: "no?" 

he definitely leaves such a cool impression on the kid that even the next time you babysit him without heeseung's company he asks if your boyfriend coming or not. find yourself texting him every day that you have to go so that he can join you because the boy demands it. "don't bring him candy, his mother doesn't want cavities" "not my problem, i already bought them" “???” 

he is overall very quick to follow a child's basic entertainment guide, and he saves you a lot of work that you should have done and possibly couldn't have done as well as him!

— JAY ... !

the last thing jay thought he was going to do on a friday night was to let a unknown girl paint his nails. when you begged him to come over to your apartment to help you, you didn't warn him that your little cousin loved to play with her makeup and nail polish on any person. jay is surprised at how easy it is to let her have fun while you comb her hair right behind her. 

jay, staring at the extravagant pink-hued nailart in his hand: "don't you just happen to wear black nail polish?" you, looking at him over her head with disapproval: "she's 4, jay" "she can be 4 and have a good style sense—" 

he is a lot more relaxed than any other member, he just pays attention silently and listens to everything the girl has to say even when he has to wait for you to translate her because he doesn't understand what she’s saying. every time you look up you find him smiling warmly at her, consequently making you smile. 

jay makes the task that seemed like chaos to you very peaceful and enjoyable, you almost forget how hard it used to be for you to entertain her on your own. he feels his heart flutter when he sees you holding her in your arms, taking her to sleep after the manicure session. seeing you being so naturally good with children feels like such a green flag for him, it's nearly inevitable for his heart not to turn into a mess. expect to hear him saying things like you're "wife material" afterwards just to tease you.

 — JAKE ... !

jake has such a bright and pure aura that he naturally attracts children. you are taking care of your best friend’s little toddler because she's having a date with her boyfriend, and since he entered the door he has done nothing but attract her. she had no issue running into his arms and sitting comfortably between his legs while she waits for you to prepare her lunch — it is a fact that jake has it easy for kids to trust him. 

jake's laugh is so contagious, it makes the girl giggle nonstop. you take a look at them from the kitchen every other minute because they both sound like they're having the time of their life. every attempt you make to feed her ends up in a failure, she literally ignores you and it's not until jake takes the spoon from your hand and feeds her that she eats. he can’t help but laugh in your face. "i'm sorry y/n, she seems to like me more" jake says proudly, making her chew on every last bite effortlessly. 

you can’t really blame her for her behavior, you fell madly in love with jake at first sight as well. if you have any other chores to do while he's there, he keeps her entertained with his phone. find him showing the girl every video he has of layla on his reel and laughing as sweetly as her when they see the dog on the screen. jake it's the purest company you could have asked for, but you won't ever make him join you again because it's too much for your weak heart.

— SUNGHOON ... !  

sunghoon thought it would be something tragic when he read your text message. your poor boyfriend was already thinking about the most catastrophic scenarios of taking care of a baby while being two inexperienced teenagers, but when he entered the apartment and saw a 10-year-old boy on the sofa, he realized what it was all about. "y/n, your boyfriend is here!" the cute boy yells without taking his eyes off the screen, and before you can even introduce them you find sunghoon sitting next to him with a joystick in his hands while your cousin explains how to play the game on the ps4.

sunghoon adapts so quickly to the task of entertaining the boy that you end up being the one who needs attention after they spend all afternoon glued to the tv. they become so close and leave you aside. when you finish doing everything your aunt asked you to, you chase your cousin away by sitting on sunghoon's lap and even kissing him right there. the kid overreacts in the most exaggerated way while the poor sunghoon becomes so shy that he can't continue playing. 

"you're disgusting y/n, go to the room!" "it's past your bedtime, you go" and that's how easy you make sure he goes to sleep after not having to do anything all day because sunghoon took care of it. with a little kiss on his cheek, you shake off his shyness. "thank you, you'll come more often when i'm alone with this brat"

— SUNOO ... !  

sunoo isn't the most fond of children, but even so he's willing to collaborate just because he is helping you. your neighbor's little daughter became your unexpected visit after they had to run away due to a work emergency, and that's where sunoo fell at your command. of course, when your request is that he sings nursery rhymes with her, he regrets even dating you. 

your boyfriend, stressfully closing his eyes as the shark song repeats for the thousandth time on the tv: "y/n, this is humiliating" you, encouraging him so as not to have to do it yourself: "you are the singer here!”

he surprisingly starts to feel touched with the girl's reactions at hearing him sing. no one can resist his honey voice, but when he sees it coming from the sweet little girl there's something inside sunoo that encourages him to sing not-so-forcefully. 

you have to take her away when she has to drink her bottle and make her sleep at the assigned hour, yet sunoo stands next to you because he's interested in seeing how it's done. he's amazed at how easy it looks for you and how peaceful the energetic girl looks once she's asleep.

"now that she's quiet i like her more" he says, patting your back. "but you did a good job."

— JUNGWON ... !  

unlike the rest, jungwon is the one who suggests helping you. when he asked what you were doing and your answer was that you were stuck in your house with your little brother because your parents had to work all day, the first thing he thought about was showing up at your door. jungwon isn’t a stranger to him, yet he never stops being as sweet and patient as he was the first time. 

your little brother is the definition of hyperactivity, he’s always finding something different to play with and jungwon is willing to match his energy every single time. the toy box that he has is full thanks to him, he gifted the kid so many different planes and dinosaurs that you insist to stop stop buying because you step on them barefoot all the time. jungwon genuinely enjoys spending time with his tiny brother-in-law, even if it results in draining all his energy by the end of the day. 

you stop paying attention to them for a few minutes while you prepare a snack after the sun goes down and you return to find them both asleep, one on top of the other over the living room rug. it's not the first time this has happened and you never wake them up because they look so relaxed and cuddly together. jungwon doesn't find out but you take pictures of them that you keep on your phone as a treasure of the two people you love the most.

— NI-KI ... !

deadass fights the kid. it is no surprise to you that the boy you take care of has a very particular personality, you just didn't expect your boyfriend not to know how to deal with him. riki and you always have study dates, therefore, now that the boy has to stay with you he's forced to sit there until you finish. coming back from the kitchen after getting juice and finding riki picking up the boy like a sack of potatoes is the last thing you wanted to find. 

"riki, put him down—" "tell him to shut up!" "what happened now?" "your boyfriend is a fool that can't do math equations!" "you don't even know what equations are!" 

expect nothing more than to sit between the two of them for the rest of the day while you try to complete the math book and keep the boy quiet for his own good. although it wasn't in your plans to become a babysitter for not just one but two boys, you manage to get them to relax after buyingall kind of snacks from the convenience store. you, looking at your boyfriend with a nice smile: "you see how easy it is to be mature about it?" riki, annihilating the boy with his gaze and his mouth full of noodles: "whatever".

you surely won't be planning a study date while you have to take care of him again, but the experience is quite interesting…

🧸 ... thanks for reading ! 

[ahkaahshi]

things only their s/o knows about them pt. 2 [hcs]

characters: tōdō aoi, chōsō, kamo noritoshi

genre: fluff + humor

warning(s): mahito is mentioned

overview: more lighthearted hcs about random things that happen behind the scenes with these guys :)

go to part 1

⭐︎ loves watching soap operas and dramas—with or without you. he lives for the content and for the over-the-top romances

⭐︎ enjoys keeping things clean and taking care of housework, especially while wearing the apron you bought for him with a cute pattern on it (but no shirt underneath, bc when does tōdō ever keep his shirt on?). you catch him using the broom as a dance partner on occasion

⭐︎ has pulled way more muscles than he’d like to admit from trying acrobatic/calisthenics moves he’s seen fitness influencers do on social media. expect “easy! I can do that no problem!” and then finding him flat on his face outside minutes later bc he pulled his groin mid-attempt

⭐︎ has a lil scrapbook filled with pictures of you or the two of you together that he loves adding to whenever he gets the chance. The man can take a good picture considering how beefy his fingers are compared to the button on his camera. turns into a full-on art director when taking shots for you

⭐︎ is never opposed to a good ol’ slow dance with you around the house. but keep in mind this is the same man who will throw it back and expect you to catch it if the music has him feeling that way instead, no matter what you’re doing

⭐︎ has a shirt with your face printed on it that he had made to celebrate your promotion and it’s one of the few he actually wears around the house (plus if he wore it out, the chances of it being ripped off and destroyed would be significantly higher and he can’t have that happening to your precious face)

⭐︎ enjoys tinkering with things and more often than not you’ll come home to a new home modification or “improvement” of some sort (but he struggles with ikea furniture)

⭐︎ has a very sensitive neck and will wrestle you if you provoke him by tickling it bc he’s self-conscious of the way he snorts when you do. think twice about starting tickle wars with him bc he’s a very formidable opponent

⭐︎ the man has a black hole for a stomach. always order more food than you think you can eat bc he’s gonna wanna try it and will end up devouring it if you don’t smack his hand away

⭐︎ sometimes gets headaches from wearing his hair up too tight for too long and therefore appreciates head massages and forehead kisses more than anyone will ever know

⭐︎ is a fashionista who never says no to helping you put together an outfit. follows lots of street fashion pages on social media. secretly wishes more people could see his outfits, but, alas, such is the life of a curse

⭐︎ actually really enjoys playing board/video games and is a charades king (everyone fights over having him on their team), but he just hates that mahito always cheats and complains when he gets called out for cheating

⭐︎ paints in his free time. you hang his artwork around the house bc it’s so nice but always lie and say it’s not his bc he knows that if people found out they’d want him to make shit for them and he’s not down

⭐︎ eats chips out of the bag/bowl with chopsticks so he doesn’t get his fingers dirty/greasy

⭐︎ enjoys knitting. says he does it to improve the dexterity of his fingers and his patience, but you know how much he enjoys using all those mug cozies he’s made and gifting you handmade scarves. if you have a pet together, it will be wearing something he made for it (but he’ll say you bought it when someone asks)

⭐︎ hates spiders with a burning passion and will use his cursed technique to eliminate them rather than smush them or capture and free them. any damage to the walls from using said techniques is covered with pictures. everyone thinks you’re art collectors

⭐︎ extremely sentimental and always remembers special dates in your relationship, as well as the memories associated with places you’ve visited together. even if he acts like he’s forgotten anniversaries or whatnot, he’s already had something planned for months. cherishes every little thing you gift him

⭐︎ bakes to relieve stress. when he’s goin thru it there will be a flight of desserts waiting for you at home

⭐︎ lets you paint his nails sometimes and always tries his best not to ruin your work afterwards

⭐︎ in spite of his haughty and aloof exterior, he always pulls a face whenever you take pictures of him (as long as nobody else is looking). he hates that you made one of them his contact picture though since he knows the face that appears on your phone every time he calls you and he just hopes nobody else knows too

⭐︎ he also sends you memes. specifically those ones that aren’t really that funny but something about the context or the image makes them funny in really unexplainable way

[thehaitanis]

𝔪𝔦𝔨𝔢𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔣𝔲𝔶𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔦𝔯 𝔠𝔯𝔲𝔰𝔥

❮★❯ summary: how will manjiro sano (mikey) and matsuno chifuyu act around their crush.

❮★❯ warnings: none, maybe bad writing.

❮★❯ disclaimer: english is not my first language, so forgive me for any mistakes.

this dude would not even know he has a crush on you until someone (probably draken) points it out. he’s just gonna sit there, contemplating what the hell is a crush because he obviously has never had one. however, even if he does not have trouble accepting it, i don’t think he’s gonna tell you, it’ll become troublesome and the least thing he wants is to bother you or bring more problems into both your lifes.

it won’t be really obvious to you, but everyone else can tell just how much he cares about you, it’s all in the little things he does for you, you know? like that time he refused draken’s offer to ride with him on the bike because he knew you were going to be there, and he wanted to be the one to take you home on his own bike. i feel like he’ll go as far as to get you your own helmet so you can ride safely with him.

you know how draken always does his hair? from the moment he realizes he has a crush on you he would make extra sure that his vice captain does it the right way, complaining if he thinks it doesn’t look right because he wants to look good in case you’re around.

shares all his dorayaki and candy with you. you could just be hanging around with him and this guy would pull out some snack and share it with you without saying anything else and you better accept whatever he offers you because that only happens with you.

even if mikey’s not vocal about how he feels, he will have one eye in you every time you’re near. nobody can harm you if he’s there and for the one’s who do manage to do it, you can say bye to them because mickey will take care of them the moment you’re gone ‘cause he doesn’t want you to see anything bad.

if you give him something he can wear, like accessories or a new hairtie, you can be sure he’s gonna use it every day. the moment you tell him you bought him something he would not stop asking you what it is until you give it to him, receiving the gift with the cutest smile on his face. also, he’ll kick anyone that makes fun of him for it, no questions asked.

chifuyu will know he has a crush on you the moment he sees you laughing with someone else. you could probably just be talking about what you did last weekend or something alike with a classmate and this guy would think that your laugh is the most precious thing he’s ever heard in his entire life. like, the realization would hit him so hard that he’ll have to leave the room before anyone sees him blushing like crazy.

after that, his crush is not going to be really obvious, but you can be sure that chifuyu will get very nervous around you. just imagine him avoiding your gaze simply because he would not be able to stop smiling seeing your face. he may have a bit more of self-control when it comes to his face blushing but you can definitely catch his ears go all red every time you say his name.

would take a few minutes to himself before coming to talk to you, he probably writes everything he wants to say to you in his phone, but this poor boy would completely fail when you’re in front of him, his tough façade fading once he realizes he doesn’t have to be all big and bad for you to pay attention to him.

he’s also very attentive to you, chifuyu is an observer and when it comes to you even more, so at first, it might come as a surprise when he shows up with something you said you liked or something he saw you eating once before. either way he’s gonna leave all those little presents in your desk or locker, sometimes with a note attached to them telling you how good you look that day or how he hopes you have a nice week.

he also goes out of his way to spend time with you, as I said before, his love language is quality time so he will appreciate the time he can spend with you alone, talking or doing anything that makes you stay still for quite some time. hell, he’ll even do his homework just if it means you would help him.

would 10/10 make you playlists/mixtapes with your favorite bands and some others that he thinks you’re gonna like based on your music taste, he’ll put a lot of effort because he wants them to be as perfect as possible, but it wouldn’t be until your friendship evolves into something more intimate that he’ll start dedicating songs to you.

❮★❯ requests are: open!

[notjennyfromtheblocked]

The more I interact with people the more I realize that extroversion is completely unnecessary and unnatural.

No, you do not need social interaction constantly. No you do not need hundreds of friends. Wtf is even small talk.

Humanity flourishes with small familial/found familial groups/friendships, and everyone needs alone time. Very few jobs ACTUALLY require extroversion to thrive. No, I don't want to have a conversation wirh my cashier or barista. We are making a transaction. We don't need to interact. And as time progresses with self service eventually we won't need even that. Don't speak to me if I'm purchasing something from your company. You're not my friend; you exist simply to give me what I am spending money to have. That is your purpose. I know you think becoming my friend will endear me to you so I can save you from the hellscape of boredom your job is, but that's not my obligation. This isn't Great Expectations. Being nice to a stranger won't give you a better life. Getting off your ass and applying yourself will; stop expecting introverts who are independent to do it for you.

Office work probably needs even less interaction. There's no reason FOR office work at all. It's a fact work from home was more productive. Most jobs don't actually need in-person work and if they do they definitely don't need you to be social. If you're in healthcare you fix my ass up and that's it. We dont need to chit chat. We don't even need to go out anymore tbh; that's why have the internet, online shopping, and DoorDash and Instacart. If it is required to go out, shut the fuck up and get back home asap. If you need to be social, go home and talk on the phone or use the internet or text. Nobody wants to hear your squawking laughter at restaurants and unintelligent gabbing at parks and stores. If you can't be noisy at your apartment or house, too bad. Should've bought your own home in a more secluded area. Don't make it our problem. Cell phones in public should be for texting, dipshit. That's why it was invented. If you're waiting for an important phone call, STAY YOUR ASS AT HOME. I don't care about your problems! I don't know you! I don't want to overhear your cunt ass speak!

Any job that """requires""" talking to individuals in a conversational way is bullshit and it isn't actually necessary. Extroverts FORCED it to be a requirement by their nonstop yammering and FORCING people to put up with their look at me look at me main character syndrome. NOBODY should be making friends in a workplace environment anyway. Do you want to be betrayed and manipulated? Wait you're an extrovert. You're the one throwing us under the bus.

Do you think cavemen were partying and laughing noisily as possible and bragging about how social they are? No they were being quiet so they could hunt to survive. I guarantee that extroverts were killed by bears in the past. You think peasants and servants were making asses of themselves in public and forcing everyone to pretend they weren't annoyed? Do you think slaves were walking slow on sidewalks and taking up space in aisles to chat and never getting their work done because they were playing around but get away with being lazy because they're ass kissing their bosses with their extroversion? No. But you know who was doing that shit? Their rich ass elite royals and slave owners. Servants mind their business and Eat the Rich sociopaths were gossiping. Extroverts will manipulate everyone around them by playing invented games like "how to act exactly as society demands and say all the right opinions without offering an actual opinion" to get everyone on their side then you'll see how they act off the clock and they're totally different. This is SOCIOPATHY. You're a schmoozing sociopath who fucking lies and everyone thinks you're annoying and hates your fucking GUTS but Society demands we can't tell it how it is.

TLDR; extroversion is an invented word to cover for psychopathy, manipulation, and coercive control over the masses.

extroversion is at best inherently narcissisticly selfish and at worst actively psychotic. You'll notice both are actively abusive and to be completely honest we all know it's never 'at best'

[wandsolsen]

Champagne Problems

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: In which Wanda rejected your marriage proposal, inspired by Taylor Swift's song Champagne Problems.

Warnings: pure angst, cursing.

Word Count: 1.8k

↳ Please, be aware that English isn't my first language, fell free to tell me if there are any mistakes.

You booked the midnight train for a reason, you wanted to contemplate your pain with your head against the train window.

The reason for your suffering had a name, Wanda Maximoff.

You sat down in one of the seats, feeling the hurt in your chest burning hard just for thinking about her. The train wasn't too much crowned, however, it wasn't all empty. There were people talking and people sleeping, you were not sure which was worse.

People looked at you, certainly worried about how miserable you were.

You finally rested your head on the train window, looking at the view from the outside. Unintentionally, you remembered Wanda's hand holding yours as the two of you danced on the dance floor.

Wanda smiled at you, and she looked happy. But she wasn't, at least, not complete. Not happy enough to say yes.

However, nobody could ever have thought that she would say no.

You felt the tears coming out, your mouth trembled as you remembered. Your heart was made of glass and she let it drop it.

You had prepared a speech, but when you got down on your knees, you didn't find the expression of emotion and excitement that you had imagined she would had. Instead, you saw Wanda's body tense and fear in her green eyes.

You were speechless.

She didn't even let you ask, she ran away, leaving you there, on your knees and crestfallen on the dance floor.

You were so broken that you hadn't the strength to reach out to her, Wanda's love escaped beyond your reaches.

You saw the pity look that your family and friends gave to you. You had told them that you were going to propose Wanda that night, you couldn't keep it a secret.

You had bought Dom Pérignon and one of your family members had already popped the bottle in an early celebration, it was humiliating.

"Maybe it's just one of her...What does she call? Oh, yeah," Steve remembered before anyone could answer him. "her champagne problems." Steve was trying to calm you down, but he wasn't succeeding.

Fuck Wanda, you thought, your veins filled with angry. Fuck her and her champagne problems.

But even with all the fury you were feeling, Wanda's picture was still in your wallet along with your mom's ring.

You didn't hate her for leaving, you could never hate her.

You remembered the first time you made Wanda blush, it was in November.

You both met in college, and you thought you were the luckiest person in the world for having Wanda as your roommate. She was organized, friendly and didn't ask too many questions, everything a person could want from a roommate.

"Someone said to me that this door was once a madhouse." You said to her, wanting to make small talk.

"Well, it's made for me." Wanda made a joke, and you chuckled.

"A beautiful and intelligent woman like you in a madhouse? I find it hard to believe."

"Beautiful people do have problems too." Wanda's face was getting flush.

"I know, I know." You said. "I just wanted to praise you because, well, you're definitely one of the most beautiful girls on the campus."

And there it was, Wanda's face all red and her shy smile on her lips. You felt your heart beating faster than usual at that moment.

"So do you?" You continued.

"Do what?"

"Have problems."

"Just champagne problems." She answered.

"Champagne problems?" You asked, with your furrowed eyebrows.

"Yes, nothing meaningful or worth mention," She explained. "when compared to the others issues around the world."

"Well, champagne or not, they're still problems."

She thought about your words for a moment, but didn't say anything. Wanda continued to devalue her own problems, claiming that her issues were insignificant and there were worse things in the world.

Wanda was very reserved in the beginning, it was usually you who started the conversations. It didn't take long for you to fall in love with her.

I mean, how could you not? She was gorgeous and caring. Wanda was kinder than the most people you had ever met. She was a dream girl, with her hair loose and long, her sweet smile and her funny laugh. The way she was always up to help someone in need, and how she tried to empathize with everyone.

Wanda was absolutely flawless.

You only asked her out on a date when you were sure she wouldn't reject you.

Now, seeing from afar, you could see how stupid you were. You should have waited, just kneeling after knowing for sure that she would say yes.

But that's the problem.

You had sure that Wanda would say yes with tears dropping from her eyes. Then, your song would have played, you would have kissed her and held her hand tight while dancing. Your friends would have cheered with joy, and Wanda would have hugged you with a radiant smile on her face.

You let out a breath of pain. You now lived with only wishes. Because she dropped your hand while dancing, instead of holding tight.

Just champagne problems, she would say, about this dramatic situation.

You had a black Chevy that Wanda loved, she enjoyed riding in your car, even if you never go anywhere special. And when the car stopped running and you decided that was time to buy a better one, Wanda didn't let you. Often you saw her on the passenger seat murmuring whatever song was playing on the radio.

Nevertheless, the Chevy wasn't going anywhere. Just like your relationship.

Feeling tired of sitting there in this hurt, you left the train and went to the nearest hotel that you could find, you didn't want to come back home anytime soon.

You lived in a small town, your failed marriage proposal was probably spreading in the mouth of people like a disease.

Your turn on your phone, there were many messages and missed calls from your friends, but no one of them matters to you. Except one.

There was one voicemail from Wanda. Just that. She didn't send you a dozen messages like your friends, just a voicemail.

You set down on the bed, before listening to her voice for the last time.

Hey, Y/N, it's me, Wanda. I think I owed you an apology for leaving you out there standing. I-I can't do this, I'm sorry.

Wanda's voice was trembling, it sounded like she was crying. Why was she crying? She left you, not the other way around.

You didn't know it was possible for your heart to break more, but it did. The sound of her painful voice would haunt you forever.

I really can't give you a reason, I guess I never was ready for commitment. Sometimes you just don't know the answer until someone gets on their knees and asks you, you know?

There was a long pause, so long that you thought the message was over. However, Wanda's voice filled the room again:

You deserve someone better than me, you always had. Someone who is not fucked up in the head like me, someone who will never hurt you like I did. You'll find a real thing out there, she will pick up the pieces of your broken heart and she will patch up your tapestry that I shredded. She will be so perfect that you will not remeber me, or all my champagne problems.

Your vision was blurred because of the tears that fall uncontrollably from your face.

Ours... your friends called, they all are worried about you, please contact them.

There was another long pause.

I lov...

Your heart started to race at the words she was about to say, but Wanda gave up halfway, as if realizing that the words were not true.

Goodbye, Y/N.

And that was it.

Four years of relationship saying goodbye in a voicemail of less than five minutes.

Your throat burned from holding on to crying for so long, you wanted to scream until your vocal cords burst.

You loved her more than anything, and she left as if it were nothing. As if your love meant nothing.

You took the picture of Wanda that was still on your wallet, and tore it into several pieces before throwing it in the trash.

Eventually, the sleep caught you while you were crying in the hotel bed, similar to a friendly hug in the midst of so much pain.

━━━━━━ ᗢ ━━━━━━

You heard that Wanda left town, without looking back, on the same day that she rejected your proposal.

Wanda's sweet perfume was still impregnate, along with your memories with her, in every room of the house that the two of you used to live. You didn't manage to stay there, it didn't take long for you to sell the house and buy an apartment in the city center.

You sold your black Chevy, there was no one around to stop you.

You also sold Wanda's things that she left behind, you didn't want anything to remind you of her. Because after the end of the day, you were still mad at Wanda. For leaving, for didn't give you a good reason, for making your waste four years of your life.

"She would've made such a lovely bride, what a shame she's fucked in the head." That was probably the last thing that someone spoke about Wanda, before another big gossip emerge in your town and they eventually forgot the humiliation that she put you through.

At first, you stayed in your new apartment with your heart broken, just watching futile reality shows and eating junk food. Steve, your best friend, was there all the time giving you emotional support, even though he didn't always know how to say the right thing.

But eventually you had to face reality, after all, you suffering or not, life still went on.

It took two years before you were ready to fall in love again. And two years since you had heard from Wanda, you didn't know about her even on social media, since she had deleted them all.

It was as if Wanda had simply disappeared, little by little, she became a myth in your life, a ghost that haunted you from time to time. Not even your friends and family mentioned her name.

Sometimes you wondered if she really existed, if you haven't invented her in your head.

It was in a bar outside the town, that you met Natasha Romanoff. She was self-confident and carried a death look in her eyes, rigid on the outside, but soft on the inside. She had short red hair and was not very fond of wearing jewellery.

Totally different from Wanda.

Natasha was fun to be around, it was easy to understand her because she was always honest with you.

You started to date her on the very first day of summer. Then, after spending all the four seasons together, you started to carry your mom's ring in your pocket and Natasha's picture in your wallet.

And when you got on your knees, she didn't leave you crestfallen on the dance floor. She said yes, and held your hand tight while dancing.

However, in the end, Wanda was wrong.

You still remeber all her champagne problems.

[moonlightsweatheart]

Twenty-Three - Cotton Candy Dream

Finally, you heard a knock on the door. You opened it with a smile and Kaeya immediatly smiles back. You can smell his parfume without difficulties and notice that he looks as stressed as you.

"Hi" he says nervously.

"Hey Kaeya, i'm ready to go !" you answer, going out of the appartment and locking the door behind you.

"Ayaka isn't home, so i wont take the risk to let the door unlocked."

He smiles and nods at your words, but the truth is that he didn't even listen what you said. He can't help but be amazed by how you look. You have really pretty clothes and your smile is even brighter than the day you meet.

"Should we get going ?"

"Uh, yes, sorry. I was distracted for a second."

"Is everything alright ?" you ask, placing a hand on his arm.

"Yes, yes of course ! Come on, or we're going to miss the train."

He suddently changes his attitude and takes your hand in his, starting to walk to the train station.

The walk is not long, and you two arrive pretty quickly. You both realise how easily the discussion flows between you and you can't help but feel happy about it.

There is something strange hanging out with only Kaeya, a feeling that is not unpleasant but still unusual.

It's not the first time you two are alone together, but still, your heart flutters, your cheeks are warming up and you are head over heels for him.

Everything he says is good, and you don't even realise how bad you're falling for him anymore.

After thirty minutes of train, you can finally get out and breathe some fresh air.

Kaeya is still holding your hand, and its becoming an habbits but neither of you are complaining.

"The circus is right here. I already bought the tickets online so we just have to give them to the man in front of the entrance."

You let him guide you and wait in line like everyone else.

"Do you want to buy some popcorn or chips ? Or something to drink maybe ?" he asks you, seeing a stand with food and drinks.

"Yes, that would be great. I want some cotton candy !"

He laughs at your enthusiasm.

"I will buy cotton candy too. It looks so good, i want to try it."

You look at him with widen eyes.

"You never ate cotton candy ?"

"No, never. Diluc hated it when we were kids and i had the bad habbit of never trying anything that he didn't like. Now that i grow up, i realise how stupid it was and i'm trying to at least try before saying i dont like something"

"It's a good idea. Plus, cotton candy is my favorite type of candy."

"Well then, i hope i'll like it."

After giving your tickets, you run to the candy stand and buy two cotton candy and two drinks to enjoy the show.

You find your seats without problem and continue to talk until a man stands in the center of the circus track and starts to talk.

"Hello everybody ! Welcome to our new show, specially created for the start of this new school year ! I know all lot of you probably just went back to school and i hope this show will be a way to enjoy yourselves before the classes start to get serious again !"

Everyone applause and finally, the show starts.

There are clowns, acrobats, trapeze artists, and even a tiger tamer.

"Look Yn, this is my favorite moment. They going to make this girl dissapeare in front of us and nobody will ever understand how."

You smile at the way his eyes are shining. You feel your heartbeats getting faster and suddently, you realise.

Damn, your friends were right. You are totally in love with this man. He's eating his cotton candy with joy, looking at the magician and his assistant with excitement and you couldn't be happier than right now, by his side.

"Yn, did you see ? I told you, nobody could understand how they did that !"

"Yeah...I totally didn't get it either."

Masterlist | Chapter Twenty-Two | Chapter Twenty-Four

Taglist : @orionicchaos @mayasshitposts @roguebox