#anyway it doesnt matter NOTHING MATTERS
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zoro and luffy got married a while back and never bothered to tell anyone. nami knows because she was there but hasnt told anyone because theyre both insufferable. usopp found out when he saw them makeout in a closet or something on the merry (he shut the door and ran to nami looking for answers). by the time they reach wano almost everyone on the crew knows that theyre married except sanji who found out after zoro and luffy kissed at the celebration party.
#sanji isnt weird about it but he's definitely questioning why he never noticed before#not like zoro and luffy hide it either theyre Very very obvious#idk i just feel like they had a shotgun wedding or something#nothing serious so like technically are they even married? who knows#but theyre pirates and dont follow the rules anyways so it doesnt matter#dont think too hard about it#i just thought it was funny#one piece#zolu#monkey d luffy#roronoa zoro#luffy#zoro#silly thoughts
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imo everyone who insists that saikis life was perfect and he was a spoiled brat complaining about nothing are just purposefully ignoring and misinterpreting the whole manga simply because they like other characters better and want to make up scenarios to make their fav seem like a precious little victim in every situation
its hard to explain but i see it happen a lot with specifically people who have dedicated accounts for other characters and constantly misattribute every issue to "saikis such a baby, my character has it way worse!" "saiki hurt my babys feelings once so i hate him!" "saikis such a spoiled brat, my baby has a way shittier life and never complains about it!" "saiki hurt my poor precious fav once so hes an abusive monster!"
and said "shittier life" that they "never complain" about is either the persons headcanons (literally made up) or... the character DOES complain about it and the person takes those words at FACE VALUE but ignores everything else, including things that actually HAPPEN right in front of our eyes
#(this is just an opinion and anyone can do whatever they want)#people can feel however they want about saiki#but im just saying... purposely making everything into something it just isnt makes you look so... odd#like.. why?#why cant you just say you dont like him and move on?#instead of trying to make up a bunch of reasons why he sucks and his fans are weird#just chill#fandom doesnt need to be like that#sorry i feel like i start a new controversy every few days#dont offhandedly bully me for this guys just reply if you disagree#i like to think that my posts will reach nobody but like two moots and nothing matters and nobody cares#but i always get proved wrong#sho shad#anyway this is exactly what twitter users do with mafuyu and kanade which is so funny to me#they make kanade out to be an evil manipulator with a perfect life so that they can have their fake abuse scenarios and make mafuyu a victi#WHICH DOESNT MAKE SENSE CUZ MAFUYUS MOM IS RIGHT THERE? MAFUYU IS ALREADY AN ABUSE VICTIM#its crazy. fandoms are crazy.#hoping literally any of this is phrased correctly#my brain is jello i cant do this#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post#meownalysis#<- not sure if this counts as that but im adding it because i want to come back to this
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Someone killed my boss last night and he sent me this I'm so fired
god I can't wait to make this comic.
#not me making a prelaunch link so I can share it on art of them that I do and then immediately being like hm#feels kind of weird to link a comic that doesnt exist yet#HAHAHAHAH#theres just no pleasing me#oh well I'll stick to my guns. I thought about it a long time#and doing things that feel weird is kind of the name of the game when it comes to making art#we were legion#zagan#this is so funny to me#its like not even that funny but#I love him. idk I think because I know what the comic is gonna be like stuff like this is 1 million times funnier to me#he sucks so bad and it would suck to read if he were the only one in the comic but because luciel is also there#then its just funny. cause juxtaposition#I love luciel too but theyre less good for standalone drawings and memes without comic context#so my brains like erm... theres nothing there....#also my tags are bugging out when I type them on the ocmputer idk how to explain whats happening but its kind of annoying#jumping around all over the place. makes it hard to read while I'm typing them. its fine#if theres typos its cause somethings going weird with my computer#lately when I've opened firefox its just shaking all over the place#til I alt tab out of it and back to it. I have straight up no idea why#and my internet has been bugging out. the LAN connection keeps flickering and then going out...??#YES I switched the ethernet cable connecting the modem and the router NO I dont know whats going on#I dont wanna deaaaaaal wiiiithhh customer serviceeee its fine. I'll do it later if switching the coax cable doesnt help#uh. anyways none of that matters cause I can still make my fuckin comics babeyyy#as long as I've got my comics. I'm good. though it is annoying when I cant look up references or spelling of words cause I do that constant#but its fine!#love I can draw without internet I dont even notice when it goes out sometimes aughajkghagj#anyways I'm super excited about this comic and if you're intereted theres a presave link now so#yeay#I'll post places other than webtoon but I'm just doing webtoon early so TTA readers can switch over easier
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the way that diff languages sound r so fascinating they're all different and all so vivid
#russian is like the surface of a feather like it's light but not exactly “soft” but still very delicate#german is . cute ? i think it's adorable . it has a lot of momentum it makes u wanna talk fast and talk a lot#like it's squishy . sleek surface w a soft inside#thai is like song . it's like interprative dance or maybe a trust-fall . everything follows from the previous thing#it feels like a little fairy flying up and letting itself fall and flying up again and so on (for fun). its so beautiful but also playful#mandarin chinese is like . idk why but it gives me the same vibe the concept of Observation does . like to read and to see and absorb#and then to translate that into smth else . like . imagine a poet people watching or an artist preparing a canvas w practiced hands. thats#the vibe. soft and elegant and musical but like...in a way that feels lived-in. arabic feels wise ? like music or poetry u read#and feel nothing about then years later u stumble on and it applies to everything in ur life. that kind of vibe. like it knows more than u#and itll make sure ur heart and soul grows as big as its lexicon . polish is like snowflakes falling . it has the feeling of complexity and#elegance but it's also so so light and slippery and...maybe not elusive but the feeling of losing a dance partner in a waltz ? like fun and#light but also an underlying elegance and somberness still . turkish is like the feeling when u get a text from ur crush#and your heart tightens and you cant tell if it's really painful or really amazing . it feels like unrequited love . or a caress#or making out with someone when you know its the last time you'll see them. its beautiful in a yearning longing way#korean is like joking around w ur friends and you've stayed up until like almost 5 AM and youre so delirious that everything is funny#and ur speaking kind of lightly and openly and everything you say holds a lot of weight and doesnt matter at all. you laugh at everything#and youre practically talking in inside jokes and watching the sunrise together . one of them hits u on the shoulder lovingly. ur by a fire#yoruba feels like the metatheory of the matatheory . abstraction until it circles back to intuition or maybe#it feels like plotting the route of a comet or maybe like the soft warm whirr of statistics. trying to verbalise beauty somehow#when you know the best thing you can show it is by telling everyone just look!! look at the sky just look!#anyway yh i think i could do this for every language ever tbh
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Literally, I think I'll be genuinely angry if we go some huge amount of time without ever seeing Yaz again. LIKE I CANT GET OVER: There is a Woman out there, who loves you so much. Sometimes to her own detriment, but God is she truly in love with you. You, The Doctor, are in love with this woman. You wished for forever with this woman. You regreted not giving voice to how much you love her so much, that it almost fucking fixes you're next incarnation. You! The Doctor!! have a whole lifetime of therapy, or whatever you quantify as that idk, in part to work on that whole "so emotionally repressive, its killing the vibes in the next galaxy over" and are back and traveling and whatnot. AND THAT WOMAN IS STILL OUT THERE!! If I were you, The Doctor, I would go tell that wonderful woman who loved me and stood by me when I was actively breaking her heart and pushing her away that I love her. That even if those emotions have changed in the lifetime I've been away, That there was a time that I loved her like she loved me. That I carry that love we shared still and what has become of it with me.
#doctor who#thasmin#the doctor#yasmin khan#char.txt#in my imagination the doctor/yaz reunion actually happens with 15 but that's because i love ncuti most#i wish I could say this is a product of some kind inebriation but the truth is im stone cold sober#i just get really impassioned abt shit that doesnt matter past midnight#anyway if i was a companion of the doctor and i heard about them and yaz and learned that shes not even dead and he said nothing to her#I'd bludgeon them until they regenerate into someone less stupid (i have a taste for violence that my therapist should hear abt)
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what is his deal ???
#p4g#persona#art tag#unfortunately i have no new meme material as i havent played in months#still stuck at the end of may i think#but like... i have so little motivation to play#persona writing and mystery solving doesnt really mesh well lmao#idk maybe this guy is nothing but like#i laughed so damn hard when he said that line#like who do you think you are mate a velvet room attendant??#also the fact that the game tells you to solve a mystery so im paying extra attention to everything#only to find bits of writing REALLY stupid#like it's trying too hard to throw you a red herring or sth#i cant just sit back and watch the characters solve the mystery if they're being so blatantly stupid about it#i have half a mind to draw out all the bit i hate#like why tf did this guy have a voiced intro when this is clearly an old game where they probs only did the necessary stuff#it's probs unfair that im reading the meta as well but like... it's just right in my face i cant ignore it!!#anyway my yu has to take matters into his own hands#but can he even trust himself??? WHAT IF IT'S ME#lmao ded anyway idk guys guess i just have to play it out
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fuck you all, and fuck me as well. merry christmas. check your bathroom now.
#when i think about the themes of change and identity and blood family vs. chosen family well :) i get a little bit silly with it#care couldnt be changed into lina but she could be changed into the egg by paul. the family wont change no matter who they hurt.#rainer couldnt change the fact that he was a shitty person. daniel couldnt see another way to change the family's minds#nothing changes bc 1997 is 2017 and the house is captured in moment in time and paul is exactly where he started-#-every time he comes back to the game bc he can never understand the mystery at the heart of petscop#rainer so firmly believes in the futility of change and in some ways hes right. the family doesnt change by the end and paul's only-#-way out of obsession is to just leave and never come back. petscop didnt change their minds or get revenge-#-it just killed rainer and got buried in time. nothing changes#hm anyways teehee#my art#digital art#artists on tumblr#petscop#rainer hammond#petscop rainer#rainer newmaker#daniel hammond#tw suicide
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i kept trying to draw anything, literally anything but i feel like the little package of skill i have build myself just fell and scattered across the floor, anytime i try to grab ahold of a piece of it it slips through my fingers like wet soap
on days like these i wish i had been smart enough to be anything else but a mediocre artist, but im not, im not even smart enough to be decent at the only thing i call myself to be able to do, im never going to be able to draw like i want to and i struggle to make peace with it
#ganondoodles talks#i hate hate hate feeling like this#this ... utterly helpless worthlessness#the world is shit and turnign shittier by the second and i cant even find refuge in the one thing i can do#i know i know dont trust what you are feeling after 9 pm bla bla#i have had ups an downs but this far i havent fallen in a long time#i am nothing without art#and i cant even do that#however much it doesnt matter anyway#i feel like i am mentally starving#i know this feeling will pass#but i still feel it right now#i feel like im being ungrateful towards the many people that have answered my previous post too bc i couldnt even do a single silly little-#-thing#i cant even put into words what it feels like#overstimulated brain explode egotistical feeling of worthlessness in a world that doesnt care about human life or creativity#meaningless#im going to bed and will be embarrassed about this when i wake up#but it still feels so very real right now#wasting time and tears
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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Could someone help me figure out why the old Diviner appears in the search party of the future that Dal disrupts. Shouldn't he be young too, like the flashbacks in season 1? This is strange to me if it's supposed to be 1:1 until the launch goes wrong. It doesn't seem like a mistake to have the old Diviner here.
#perhaps a surprise tool that will hinder us later? (s3)???#Is this actually Ilthuran on some kind of mission of his own to make sure things happen correctly#cos he was YOUNG in season 1 flash...err backs to this time frame where he and the Order sent ships through the wormhole#if it's parallel then why is his age different#maybe it doesnt matter and im reading into this too much#the other guard has weirdly similar hair tendrils to the young diviner why show that when they've all been covered.#They do reuse models but it seems so focused on two of them here at once#its probably nothing but im trying to figure this timeline thing out lol and they still had to launch ships through at some point..#anyway lmao no one could answer me#startrek prodigy spoilers#startrek prodigy#02x04#star trek prodigy#star trek prodigy spoilers
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Tbh I think the Barbie movie handled its theme of existentialism better than the feminism.
#the feminism of the barbie movie is nothing new#its nothing you wouldnt have seen in a 2016 tumblr post#and in its efforts to platform the struggle of misogyny it unintentionally shrinks the issue of other forms of bigotry#like it IS about a cis conventionally attractive white woman and the prejudice that she applies to her#because shes a woman. so is not on the TOP of the privilege scale and is going to face bigotry as a result#like Greta Gerwig clearly wrote what she knew#and she didnt feel she was educated enough to touch any other topics#the mistreatment of women is a layered topic and it is a complex matter depending on the varied range of women in this world#queer women trans women women of colour#they dont all experience misogyny in the same way that Barbie does#so its definitely not a very rounded discussion#like even Gloria focuses entirely on the pressure of just women in general#like you can claim that shes speaking from her own experience but. its very mouthpiece-ish#her speech is for the purpose of whacking you over the head with the film's message#yknow i think the focus leans too heavily as ''look what we as girls have in common''#but doesnt touch enough on ''but look how we differ too.'' a balance between those two concepts would have been nice#i feel like Sasha being like ''hell yeah white saviour barbie!'' was like a lazy acknowledgement that theyre AWARE of this issue#but like. theyre too deep into the script now#anyway yeah i was just thinking about this cuz of that gifset#Barbie feeling unsafe and being objectified in a public space#while Ken faces no issues whatsoever. even tho he is a loudly colourful flamboyantly dressed man on rollerskates#because we are going for a misogyny message here. so we need to poof homophobia out of existence for a bit okay??#like this is basically what i mean. putting misogyny under the spotlight#and as a result quietly pretending other social disadvantages dont apply right now. bending reality to reinforce the message that we want#this isnt like. a scathing criticism on barbie btw. i dont have a film critic brain#im dumb and i love everything#also im really not the person whos qualified to talk about this#this is just some word vomit because i cant stop thinking about it#anyway i think the themes of what it means to be human and live and breathe fucked royally#i loved that stuff
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Does anyone else get the thing of like you're already so obsessed with something that you're like it would probably be good if I was less obsessed with this / I need to shut up about this but at the same time you constantly find yourself thinking I have Got to get more obsessed with this. I have Got to get more obsessed
#its the thing of like i really want to spend more time on this but also i feel like i shouldnt spend all my time on it so i try to reel it#in but im not particularly good at doing that anyway so i really am like i should just say fuck it and immerse myself even more however#its hard because the more i do that the harder it is to reign it in when i do actually need to#but theres so much i want to research and learn and also do and spend time on where im like i have Got to dedicate more of my time to this#while at the same time being like this is already taking up so much of my time but also because i worry that it is i end up wasting a lot o#time that i could be spending getting more obsessed with this thing. soooo idk but i dont know if that makes sense#its like how im also really bad at working on music becsuse i know when i sit down i will lose several hours so i avoid it but then i end u#not playing music...but i would be happier if i let myself just lose myself in it but then idk. im bad at like Setting aside time for thing#its always all or nothing which is frustrating!!!!! but its like my worry is i wont be productive in other ways but im not anyways so#it doesnt actually matter... sooooo yeah i have Got to get weirder . i have got to just let myself get weirder asap#i think this is also part of the late diagnosis thing of i spent my Entire life forcibly repressing my interests and cutting myself off fro#them after being told i need to. but actually i can just be weird but its really hard to let yourself do that without shame but it is#unjustified in this instance therefore i should take the opposite action and just keep doing it sooo im gonna do that. bye!#i am gonna go listen to bootlegs for approximately 5 hours
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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i gave in to the sirens 😔
#the sirens call of da2 has grown stronger than that of dao and with bg3 done i have nothing thats keeping me at bay#so: liam replay lets go!#(ik i should finally play robin or maybe replay lilian but. unfortunately liam has a chokehold on me and i miss my son)#(poor guys are getting neglected im so sorry </3)#laya plays dragon age#<- tag for playthrough posting#sadly it didnt register kalas finished save smh so i imported neiras instead#shoulve maybe gone with renans for a change? ah well. doesnt matter much anyway xd
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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Im just gonna have to accept that s2 wasnt good overall and that the fandom unfortunately is just bad. Its not the first time ive had to accept this about a piece of media i loved but this one does hurt more fsr.
Ill take the caitlyn and vi scenes, and the vi and jinx scenes, and ill just try to be happy with that. As much as it sucks that those relationships, the ones the series was formed around, were given such little time and a completely lackluster ending, ill just have to accept that it is what it is. I can imagine my own little au where those relationships stayed relevant in s2 and they actually got time and closure.
#arcane#arcane critical#genuinely tired of trying to hard to excuse bad writing#the caitvi scenes we got were good like 80% of the time#but it does suck that they got such little actual screentime.#and yeah fuck the new writers for giving lesbophobes the bait they wanted#there was one way to destroy such a successful and recognized lesbian relationship and that was it#and sure they technically got a happy ending i guess? but what does that matter when its so last minute that it basically meant nothing#and the fandom hates it anyways now so. there goes that#vent#i guess#like as a lesbian it sucks so bad to come so close to getting something good finally. and then it all burns#i know progress is slow and never actually completes itself#but it doesnt stop hurting#the not so subtle reminder that despite everything#you arent accepted. not now#ugh#i expected s2 to break my heart because the story was sad#not because the writing was so abysmal that it physically hurt
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