#but it is for the lenght of this fic at least

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the doctor's heroic position succinctly put by: themself

[plasticfangtastic]

American Royalty Ch. 12

A Homelander x F! Reader/Dadlander fic

A/N: This chapter its a lot longer for it is the penultimate chapter, just wanted to thanks all who have read till this point and I hope you look forward to the final chapter after reading this. It was a joy to write this story, if y like to be in the taglist plz let me know. prev chapter:

Tags: fluff, romance, slow burn, dadlander, child neglect, child abuse.

Chapter twelve

Names

You let him have the wedding venue and the honeymoon destination… you didn’t expect for him to drag you to Tasmania but just like you did with the house he did this out of spite, but ignoring the cool heat… it was beautiful. 

It felt personal and small even if there was a whole camera crew and millions of people watching.

Homelander excuse had been that while taking Ryan for a flight he had spotted this national park on the small island, staring into the violet painted lake, the way he recanted how the mist blanketed the lake shore… you knew he wasn’t gonna settle for anything else, and of course it was as far away from William Butcher than he could get.

He had lifted this place out of a fairytale, every corner had elaborate details. No doubt he had some Hollywood set designer build this, he was a romantic to the extreme… corny too, but as you look at the million flower petals scattered around you, you blushed. There was really just you and him, no groomsmen or bridesmaids– the guests were nonexistent either.

Here you two were forcing each other into an unhappy marriage, but no matter what you told yourself… Homelander would be happy in this supposed misery, perhaps it was only you who was unhappy... were you? No matter how fake this all was, he did cry when he saw you, he even stopped caring that William Butcher was there taunting him with his presence– yeah he did turn red when he spotted the smug bastard smiling knowing he was untouchable with all these cameras around… god knows what he was planning, but he stopped caring as he saw you in that dress.

Nevertheless there wasn’t any pretense as he smiled during the reception, the way you felt his heart against your chest as you danced, as you caught that nervous look trying to hide itself not from the cameras nor from his peers but from you.

There you were blushing as you saw him visualizing every step of your routine, trying to keep it together as he tried guiding you.

“Geez just take a fucking breather–  relax.”

“We are live!” He whispered with panic.

“John is not for them… is for us.” You kissed his neck, resting your head against his shoulders to hide your face but also so he could feel your nerves more clearly– I hope you’re having a good time… is fun… I… this is so beautiful… thank you.” You looked up once more– you look good in a suit… you should wear them more often… I like it a lot.” your voice was more breathless than you realized as you stared into his blue eyes.

“Thank you…” He kissed you before forcing another awkward dance move– I just expect to be the last man to ever see you in that dress.”

“Maybe…” Your smile made his ears red– I could be okay with that.”

He was puddy in your hands after that, making the wedding not the worse day of your life, Helena did cursed at having to wear an itchy dress but Ryan was over the moon, and as you rested your feet for a moment, and the cold wind tousled the chiffon on the ornaments, and petals flew away in the breeze.

As you looked at the trees and catched the singing of barking owls hiding in the racketeering of leaves.

For a second you bought into the lie, your daughter would have access to everything the world could offer and beyond, and this boy would get a family, even if the two were struggling to get along, even if the boy still seemed anxious around you, forcing you to walk on eggshells… maybe he would come to love you… maybe you could be happy inside this family. 

“I have to ask… why did you came here?” You lifted the actual french champagne bottle towards the dark haired man.

“Worry I’ll ruin the day for you, luv?” he placed his glass closer.

“I would love it if you did… John is probably trying to find the right commercial break to kill you.”

“You invited me but I am here for Ryan… never thought I’d get to have dinner with him under his nose… after I kill the cunt… I always did worry ‘bout him– I never pictured myself surviving. But now he has a little sister.”

“Well if you kill him, I’ll get custody of Ryan and then you can also make me marry you if you like.” He took the bottle of your hands after tasting the bubbly it had simply been divine, looking at the label and knowing how pricey that was he gave it a long messy gulp– just gotta top this.”

“No thanks.” He took a short sip also admiring the insanely picturesque view of the lake– why did you agree to marry him? Even after–

“I don’t care… Flight 37… working with Neuman, killing Stillwell… the supervillains he helped made– I don’t give a fuck. Why would I care now…? Caring will get me killed, and I got two children who need their mother… Homelander is who he is and I can’t change that, even if he did change, it won’t change what he’s done, so I’ll just move on and take him as he is.”

Butcher almost seemed disappointed but he opted to keep his tongue tied, the thought of Ryan losing another mother over a moral dilemma didn’t sit well with him.

“Want me to get you a to-go box? The cake is divine… I’ll let Ryan know you’re leaving… don't try anything funny…”

“I’ll think I’ll stay until they serve the coffee…”

“We got tea too… 2 sugars?” you say forcing a smile.

“Honey, and a little wedge of lemon.”

“Then I’ll guess I’ll get the kid… hopefully he does kill you.”

He gave you a dirty smirk as you went looking for your adopted son.

Catching the skittering glimpse of Homelander as he kept a watchful eye on you too.

The Honeymoon was beautiful as you headed for the mainland, a bit short but beautiful nevertheless… William didn’t ruin the wedding but he did bother you two during the honeymoon.

A year had passed, here you were sitting in the sitting room while you awaited for Homelander to crawl out of the dressing room. 

Just thinking about how ridiculous it looked to have a closet bigger than your kids bedroom and for him to have nothing to wear made you squirm in your seat, but he was hard to please, without the super suit he just felt small and ugly, even if was still just as handsome as before.

“We can't miss this doctor’s appointment…”

You pushed your tablet aside, as he emerged in a black t-shirt, a wine jacket and black pants, he kept staring at his shoes as if they weren’t the right match, but at this point you had been waiting thirty-six minutes.

“Homelander… I don’t think anybody is going to roast your shoes, so can we go?”

“I just want them to look at me and say that I look conf–

“Chill. You're not the one who's gonna get implanted with some eggs, but feel free to carry them yourself if we keep delaying this. Being late won’t convey any confidence.”

He looked at your clothes, just sweatpants and a nice colorful t-shirt, dissaproving but he bit his tongue instead.

“I’m nervous… what if it doesn’t work again… this is our third time.” He bit his lip trying not to think about the journey here– my fucking sperm its useless…”

“We survived the fire… we are good… we got a couple embryos. It worked now. I gotta hope my oven works once more… you know I'm no spring chicken– i'm in the geriatric category” You stood up reaching after him to comfort him, he just slumped into your shoulders– we had Helena and you made Ryan, you can do it again…”

In all honesty the process had been difficult for him, he had completely misunderstood what was wrong with his body, when the topic was brought up five months into this marriage it had come off as a shareholder asking for investment returns, he had given you everything you asked but here he was asking for his return so why were you surprised? You were mildly disturbed about how much he’d prepared behind your back, it almost came off as if he had already been preparing with somebody else but you pushed that strange gut-feeling aside, the calendar certainly playing a part but you rather not think more of it– your part had been easy, you made eggs, your body was sufficiently healthy and you weren’t that old that it would prove more than challenging to get it to work, but he had been the issue.

At the mention of getting a sperm donor he had almost killed the doctor for the suggestion, he shot down any mentions of adoption, he didn’t want to consider it, he didn’t believe in it, if they weren’t his blood he didn’t want them– he had already won the odds lottery with his two kids so why push it? It only made sense to him but you didn’t voice your concerns.

He was back to being that young man who thought he would be alone forever, he was enamored with the notion of having another child, looking at parents and their kids thinking how perfect it all was when they had beyond plenty, staring at the baby clothes at target when you dragged him shopping, looking at all the spare rooms in this home and wanting to fill them… a son or a daughter it no longer mattered, he had his preferences but if tomorrow they told him he would have another girl he would be happy, he would still cry and he would go and paint the walls pink himself.

But seeing himself in the mirror he was disgusted by all the naked eye couldn’t see.

“is going to be alright, John.” You kissed his temple.

Maybe it was seeing him like this that mellowed you, or perhaps it was that nothing was set in stone, those eggs might not survive, you might have to give up and the thought of your womb being a rental would fade from both of your minds.

But it didn’t.

He cried a lot when it didn't.

If he had been a groomzilla during the wedding he had become a neurotic mess once the bump settled.

He had made it clear he wanted that baby from the get go– admittedly he put up with some of your worst behavior solely because he wanted this, asking you to schedule sex on your terms, you two even discussed this in a room full of lawyers the sex acts you were okay with– threesomes off the table but risky public sex was in the maybe’s.

 Then after that you had to settle on starting fertility treatments as part of the conditions of your marriage, admittedly the agreed divorce settlements left you in a comfortable spot and Helena was always going to be cared for but it came with prerequisites… of proof that you indeed had tried instead of pretending– he had accommodated you beyond expectations… so here you were staring at the slight bump forming under your navel.

The maids duties had doubled, he didn’t want you putting a single extra ounce of work, an elevator being installed was discussed but would’ve taken far too long on remodelations to be realistic, a brief argument took place where he suggested they all moved back to the Vought penthouse as it was less stairs but it was shut down by the majority party. 

Even taking out your stand mixer had him on edge, poor Ryan had to rush to help you if he was nearby just so his dad wouldn’t give you that look– where he scanned your body to make sure the bean was still fine.

As it grew bigger and your body began to waddle and wobble more concerns arrived.

Even showering had him on edge on the off-chance you would trip and fall on your stomach, so he insisted on joining you or at least demanded you showered only if he was in the house, depending on your hormones, your preference was either, altho you knew the kids bodyguard was always informed by the staff if you showered or took bath just to be alert.

“Ricardo? Cassandra? Terry? Damian? Kathy?” You looked at him then back at the TV screen, your feet might as well have been covered in shredded glass so you tried to rest but here he was pestering you– There has to be a name you like… like how did you name Helena?”

You looked at him again, lowering the volume on the screen.

“I think Maeve said the name once… thought it sounded pretty.”

Homelander stopped his pacing as his brows touched and your expression grew confused, he took a deep breath.

“I was in the hospital in a lot of pain… I thought of other names… but maybe the nurse had a similar name, why?”

“You named my kid after Maeve’s piece of shit girlfriend!” he barked.

“… wait really?” You said perplexed.

“Her name is Elena!” He was frumpy.

“Maybe the nurse's name was Yelena or Helen.” You rather not dwell too much in that memory– I like Cassandra altho that’s the Deep’s ex-wife no?”

“Argh…” He cursed under his breath– what about Freyda… Vivienne… Loukas… the name has to be perfect… the names Helena and Ryan freaking jumped in popularity after people learned those were my kids names– it will create trends!” He sank on the arm chair throwing the book to the side– it has to be perfect… their name needs to be like poetry… I want to fall in love with them everytime I say their name… and I think it's a girl.”

Homelander paused, catching sight of you.

“You couldn’t bring a cake to tell me that?” You cursed under your breath holding on to your stomach, you took some deep breath feeling your blood pressure spike–... Genevieve… I almost named Helena that… there was this nice lady back at the half-way house… she was lovely and she helped me out a lot… she was getting out of an abusive marriage– her name was Odelia, she helped me get my first job and sort of my food stamps and such” You bit your cheeks trying to suppress the bitter taste in your tongue– either way she went back to her husband and I never saw her again, even if I called it send me nowhere… her middle name was Genevieve.” 

He smiled.

“If it's a boy I like the name Jason.”

He would continue looking for names helplessly, tempted to post an online poll to help determine but even Ashley said that might backfire.

Each added centimeters to your waist made his nervousness worsen, during those awful months trying to conceive he had tried all the hokum– between the drugs and the smoothies, he had become obsessed with himself but now it was your food bothering him, bringing dieticians and nutritionist to plan menus to boost your health, suddenly your years of expertise were nulled– your diet wasn’t a problem he just didn’t want to believe you. 

Your pantry was filled with wholefood crap and every matter of organic good and insipid health scams, all the meats and veggies now source directly from vetted farmers or killed by himself, somehow a single youtube video taught him how to perfectly cut and portion salmon that he’d caught twenty minutes before… on top of making sure to keep track of your health with his powers, so Homelander made sure everything that entered your mouth passed his standards.

Like a dog caught eating something forbidden, his fingers tempted to pry those fried oreos out of your mouth, but here you were getting fried oreos and beignets and guzzling ice tea as he stood outside the candy store, both kids behind you trying to wipe the powdered sugar off their shirts as their father eyes grew wider.

“I need sugar, John… is called a craving.”

You crossed your arms as you swallowed that beignet whole, you knew it was coming as you reached the end of your first second trimesters– you were hit with monstrous cravings, you devoured M&M’s and so many slices of dollar pizza, you put a dent on your suffering bank account back when you were pregnant with Helena, but now you didn’t need to drink water to calm yourself. 

You could buy the food you denied yourself before and here he was about to scold you for it.

“That’s poison.” He stared at his kids. He entered the cramm and small eatery as the elderly owner stared at him in awe– and you two… I expected better from the both of you.” He said firmly.

“She was cranky” Helena says as she sucks her fingers– moms need to meet their cravings.”

Ryan nodded in agreement as he slurped on his egg cream.

“Think of your cholesterol.”

“Says the guy who hasn’t eaten anything for two days… maybe that’s why you’re cranky.” You barked back already picking your bag off the ground as you headed out– oreos are vegan anyhoo so it’s healthy.”

“You know that’s not true!” He follows you behind as he pushes his kids out the place.

Rolling your eyes as he continues his incessant baragery as you stuffed each sweet into your puffed cheeks.

At night it kept you awake, the memories of endless cravings, of pawning and selling your beloved knives and cooking equipment just to make enough dough to stay in a crappy motel, to get some coins to eat, each meal had to be carefully considered, you had no steady income, you couldn’t eat much of anything but water at times as you picked between buying nappies for newborns and clothes for the baby over another real meal, you at least had the multivitamins… telling yourself this was gonna kept her strong.

Your stomach growling as you look at your diminishing wallet, your stomach growling as you slept in couches and not wanting to burden anyone, not wanting to annoy them as you ate something off their side of the fridge, even your mother gave you grief when you ate a whole tub of yogurt in a sudden urge.

But here as you woke up from a nightmare you looked around and saw that this was your beautiful house and this was your beautiful husband hovering above you panicked as he hadn’t build-up the courage to wake you up.

“I thought you might punch me and break your hand if I woke you up.”

You latched onto him, wanting him to comfort you, he didn’t question a thing as you asked him to bring you yogurt from the kitchen, holding you as you ate with a quiet sob.

He wanted a fat baby, a healthy baby and a super one too, as you ate he could see its tiny stomach fill but behind his worries there had been bigger concerns– he had read the files on Becca’s pregnancy, about how the fetus demonstrated abilities while inside the womb, pictures of her glowing stomach, Becca had been made to stay in a facility during the last trimester just out of fear the fetus would kill her or injure his containment.

Your files weren’t so alarming, you experience horrible pains, most of your medical debt had been from having to be in and out of a hospital for so long, but Helena didn’t shoot lasers nor did she fly, her strength slightly over average and her skin just resistant enough that super strength was needed to administer stitches, but this baby wasn’t any different from the average.

The what-if his child was a mud person repulsed him, but nothing he couldn’t fix.

“You can program it already?”

Helena looked up from the desk, before her all manner of high tech equipment and a computer she had been typing mindlessly for an hour before her father had showed up.

“In theory… I’m still struggling with the human issue. If anything I’ve been more successful with already doped up supes– Elmo’s case for example… The Russian government had been testing Soldier Boy, managing to develop their own Compound V… Serum MGH…” She pulled out some classified documents on her screen– … Their version is a lot more interesting and unstable but they wanted to make: You. their version already managed to “program” flight and strength but highly volatile and dangerous even the animal subject didn’t last long… all I did was stabilize it.” She pushed her overgrown bangs aside just to let her father peek at her unamused expression– this is about the fetus, no?”

“Your sister.” He seemed concerned at her tone.

“Looking at your files and Ryan’s I guess the odds are in your favor… altho…” She took a couple minutes to find the files– about twelve years ago one of your girls aborted a fetus at 14 weeks and according to this autopsy the fetus did not contain any significant compound V traces– god knows what that means.” a couple pages down– and the other died from ‘spontaneous human combustion’ so maybe don’t worry if the fetus its human at the moment”

Homelander had a hard time swallowing the cold delivery of his child, moseying the documents with disinterest, he took a seat as his body grew heavy.

“You can fill this form and request the same purity percentage of the Compound V used on your trials, but you know how random it’ll be.”

“How long have you known about those?” His mouth so dry, it's painful, his tongue swelling as his hands grew cold and painful..

“A while. They really wanted you to fly” She stays still instead of facing him– Why did you never kill Dr. Vogelbaum? or Dr. Park?”

“I dunno…” He had never given himself an answer, nor did he understand why his heart ached after the man died before him.

Helena squints lightly as she types a couple notes, the sound of the keyboard swallowing him whole.

“Sentimental attachments or misplaced love… interesting.”

Homelander didn’t see Helena sitting in the room with him, there was something different about her, as he saw her type on the computer and that disinterested expression that he saw his doctors once again, watching him like a sample.

“If you weren’t my daughter…” He hissed.

“You already made my replacement and this one would be a lot cuter don’t you think?” her fingers stopped gliding for a second– regardless what exactly are you looking for in terms of powers? Got plenty of genetic material to work with from all the failures from here, Sage Grove and Godolkin… I like the challenge and I’m sure you would be nice enough to get me some raw materials if needed.``

She opened a notes screen, ready to be entertained.

Homelander shoulder got closer, staring at her, her voice venomous but she was still dainty… the ire of a jealous child, she had gained a brother whom her mother loved and now another baby in under two years (not even) she has been trusted to cope– she was still a kid. His hand found her head, her eyes blinked blue ready to protect herself, thinking of how easy it would be to have her skull crushed against this desk, of the shape of the dent he would leave.

“I love you Helena… just as much as I love Ryan and I love your sister.” He said softly pulling her chair towards him, her hand glued to the desk as it squeaked– she’s not you. she’ll never be you, she won’t be my perfect little peonie. That’s you, my love.”

“Am not jealous, I feel pity for the both of you. Ryan might be an imbecile but I can tell my mother doesn’t love you and neither do you.” she groaned, pushing his hand away– you’re both babytrapping each other… poor unborn sod nothing but an addendum for your custody battle.”

“You really believe that?” He recoiled from her.

“Really?” her voice was firm– do you love Y/N or you love what she could do for you?”

“I love her in my own way… am not stupid. I know she wanted me for money and I don’t doubt her affections towards your brother are motivated for money! Even yourself Helena! All you want is this!” He gestures to the room– You think am an idiot! Do you think so lowly of me?” His voice had a different tone, she began to wonder if she could hold him back but for how long?-- so save me the crap!”

“Is you who thinks so lowly of me.” her tiny fist squeezed the hem of her skirt– you bastard!”

The chair slid and crashed against the thick wall, she sank into her chair covering her head as his open palm raised.

His hand froze in the air held by an invisible force against his own, he blinked awake, watching his reflection in a glass beaker, small tears budding on the corner of her eyes as her breathing struggled to keep steady.

“I-I-I didn…” 

Homelander lips clattered, his whole body shivering as he caught the gravity of his display, he dropped on his knees taking her into his arms forcefully, the girl squirmed but stayed quiet, he held her drowning in her delicate scent, wanting to barf as the cocktail of her fear poured out of her skin.

“I am sorry… I am sorry” He repeated over and over under his breath as the girl just said nothing

Helena's eyes closed.

“All I done has been for you… I will bear anything your mother gives me, all her scorn and hatred if it means I can have you… have you and your brother and now your little sister… your mother will have anything she ever wants and all I want from her… is you.” He whispered with a shrill voice– she has the mansion, and the maids and not a single worry left… all you’ve ever wanted to give her. I’ve given them on your behalf… so you can be freed of worries… a father's job is to provide for his family. Is not his daughter’s job.”

His vice tightened just enough to mask his shivering self.

“Dad is sorry. I’m truly sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

He kissed the sides of her temples, afraid of letting her go.

Helena had seen the reports, she avoided the images as much as she could but the descriptions had been more than plentiful, she seen the violent things done to him and done by him, she wasn’t oblivious to him.

She should’ve been more careful, she thought.

“You could have kill me.” she said with annoyance.

“You’re not scared?” he looks at her face, seeing the red in her eyes but also the stiffness in her expression– we good?”

“We are good, dad.”

She could see there was a conversation taking part in his head as he kept looking past her.

Thinking of an odd hand-written note buried in the pyre, she looked at her screen and how everything looked so big in this room, she hit her forehead back on his shoulders, his face softening as he took her gesture, holding her, wanting to go back in time to stop himself for he had threatened to tear apart all he had worked for and endured. Helena knew that this was the only way to keep the world around her.

“I need to go back to work… regarding the fetus… I only got ...what an hour or two before home time…?”

“We can put that aside.”

Helena stood watching the street from the terrace, all the houses just as tall and the massive hotel building next to their house a motivating factor for the purchase, the trees lining their streets and the few lights coming from the hotel next door and next door neighbors, it was as loud as it was silent.

“Is it loud to you?” She looked up as her father parked next to her, trying to ignore the sounds from the hotel– you think at this price tag…”

“It's close to Madison Avenue, perfect to spend my paycheck, no?”

She turned to see he had a giant stuffed axolotl in his hands, completely disregarding his passive aggressive comment.

“You went to build-a-bear?” she raised her eyebrow.

“I had to do the whole heart ceremony. I bet it's all over TikTok now” His whole face was tight and red as he handed the stuffed animal to his daughter– had to rub that stupid little heart on my knees, and that's a hard angle to reach on this suit!”

She giggled.

“You could have just bought the display one– they sell them to you, y’know.”

“What?” He walked towards the rail trying not to cry as the memory of being made to make a wish to the green haired store attendant as she spoke with the same tone she used on small children on him– what’s next it's optional?”

“Yeah.” she hugged the thing dragging the tail as she sat on one of their chairs– am sure they’ll think it's cute.”

“Who's ‘they’?”

“The worthless masses.” burying her face in the soft fabric– I love it.”

He blushed.

“What happened today… it’ll never happen again… I swear.” he swallows listening to your steps below as you worked on the cupcakes for your upcoming baby shower. He had wanted a big gender reveal party but you had forced him into just a quiet event with only a handful of friends old and new– I do love your mother– just so we are clear”

“Is okay I forgot for a second you aren’t human… the only thing that could touch me before has been fur not people… so let’s just not dwell in the past…”

“I didn’t mean it… what I said about you and Y/N and money… sometimes I just think the worst of people'' he looked vulnerable and painfully human as he spoke– what your mother and I have it's more complicated than most people could understand– even you!”

“Just don’t divorce… I’ll leave with mom… she would need me…” She mumbled looking away from him.

“I’ll never leave her.” A wicked glint coloured his eyes as a half smile amused him– She can’t leave me either. Not with Genevieve now in the picture… I mean I would go broke if I did…”

“How bad was your prenup?”

“The things I gave up just for getting christmas with you and Ryan… horrific… a bloodbath.”

“Maybe you should go win mom over.”

He took that as a small victory, Helena let herself be taken back inside, Ryan wondering where she got the toy, making a quick promise to take the kid to a toy store.

A maid took the tray into the fridge as you welcomed your husband home.

“Hey, a new episode of that Kdrama we've been watching came out today. Just getting some snacks ready for tomorrow then I’ll go join you guys to watch it.” You said cleaning your hands on your sides– you went to build-a-bear?”

“Long story. Our little genius did a great job in the lab and deserved a present. Right baby?”

“I should have asked for a raise shouldn’t I?” 

“Maybe discuss that with ‘bossman’ overthere.” 

They both gave you strange looks sharing a quiet conversation away from you.

That night he was unusually touchy, wanting to keep his hand against your stomach and his head close to your bosom, the kids cursing at the stupid behavior of the love birds on the screen as they continued to miss the signs, your hand unknowingly finds itself stroking his ear and chin, as he caressed your stomach.

“She sleeps a lot you know. that's good.”

“Thanks for officially killing the surprise there, honey.” You knock your head back– you better keep it quiet until the cake is cut!”

“Oh! Am having another sister!” Ryan sounded both happy and sad– you think she’ll like baseball?” 

“Anything else you want to spoil?” Helena mentioned as she flicked popcorn in his direction.

“She’s very blonde.” 

He did get to sleep in the bedroom that night, you simply couldn't fault him for being overly excited… this was now just how he was for some reason.

“Put the beds together… you can hear her better that way no?”

He does without protest.

A pillow wedged under your stomach and your head, frankly you only needed his arm to help bolster your neck, knowing that as you kicked in your sleep, he would keep the pillows in their strategic spots to ensure your comfort, for he slept very little.

“I like the name Genevieve… it's elegant… it's perfect.”

He stifled a yawn as you twisted your neck to look at him.

“Sorry is not a son.”

He stroked your stomach, feeling every minute movement your child did inside, telling himself that she was reciprocating.

“I don’t care she’s everything to me…” he kissed you lightly– I just want to meet her already even if she looks like a blonde alien.”

“You’re not even a real blond” you rub your body against his as you try to get comfortable– don’t call her an alien, you meanie.”

“Thank you for our little area 51 escapee.”

“Don’t listen to him, honey. Your father is just mad, he isn't a natural blonde.”

taglist-- @immyowndefender @fromforeigntofamiliarity @demodemo909 @ghqstfqce

[rkvriki]

PAIRING ! rich jock!jake x mechanic!reader

SYNOPSIS ! Always having had this passion for cars and fixing them, you found the perfect summer job as a mechanic! Working in a mechanic shop where everyone that worked there was friends with each other was perfect until the friend that didn't work there showed up to get his car fixed.

WARNINGS ! i don't understand a single thing abiut cars or how to fix them it was all googled; jake has daddy-ish? issues; horrendously written angst; reader and jake get pretty heart broken but i cant write angst so its awful; reader thinks jake cheated yikes; curse words; drinking alcohol; reader and jake both have anxiety; reader talks about her past and not having many friends; slighlty suggestive talk but minor friendly! i think it's all, warn me if otherwise!!

word count : 18.9k lol PLEASE READ! so i want to warn everyone that reads this that this story is not my best. I wrote this during a huge writers block and I've never written something as long as this. I know there are flaws and things that could be better, so I'm all open to tips and advice on how to be better at this kind of stories. I would love to write more of this lenght fics even if my blog was not created for that but its a path i would like for it to take. I really apologize if this story doesn't reach your expectations, but I'm only starting so please be nice patient with me. i hope you enjoy this at least a little bit !

Summer jobs were a student’s worst enemy. The desperation of wanting money to go on a trip with friends led anyone to get the first job they could get their hands on. That’s how you end up at your friend's boyfriend's mechanic shop. Sohee told you about his shop when she found out you were looking for summer jobs to get money for your long-planned trip and knew her boyfriend was looking for employees. Everyone who knew you well enough knew you had a special love for cars and were good at fixing some car-related problems. Ever since you were a little child you were always running behind your father when he did some fixing around his car and as you grew up you learned a few things, enough to have friends call you occasionally to fix their cars. You were a little hesitant to accept this job, you had never fixed any big thing in a car and this job looked like it required more knowledge than you had, still after considering how much you needed the money you accepted your friend’s offer. 

Sohee explained that only a few people were working around and they were all her boyfriend’s, Heeseung, friends. Heeseung, who ran the shop, does any kind of job around and fixes business and partnership offers, Jungwon worked during the weekends in class months and worked full time during summer break and usually worked in simple things like changing tires and cleaning the cars, Sunghoon who polishes the cars along with Sunoo who also paints and wraps them, Jay worked with changing heavy car pieces and finally, Ni-ki who was friends with all of them and the youngest amongst them all, was also doing this as a summer job and he was in charge of painting costume designs in cars. The 6 of them formed a friend circle along with another one, Jake – who didn’t seem to be working here since he most likely didn’t need to, seeing that he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has always been more privileged than the rest of them in Sohee’s words.

Putting on your jacket and grabbing your keys you made your way out. The weather was hot and you were already regretting putting a jacket on as soon as you entered your car and felt how hot it was inside. You started the car, turned the ac on, waited until you could breathe properly, and felt like you wouldn’t melt in the car seat. You grabbed your phone and pasted the mechanic shop address in the GPS app. It wasn’t too far from your house, which you were grateful for since it meant you didn’t need to wake up extra early to reach the shop in time. The drive was quiet, the traffic was low, and deep down you wished it was high just so you could have time to calm your nerves. The app indicated that you were a minute away so you looked around the street until you spotted a sign that read Gearbox Garage. You made a turn and pulled into the small driveway the shop had to park cars. You turned your car off and took a deep breath as you pulled your keys out and got out of the car. You walked to the front of the shop and it looked empty, making you think that maybe you should’ve given Heeseung a call before coming. Looking at the time on your phone, it marked 2:30 pm meaning they could be on lunch break. You walked into the shop and looked around, the shop was well organised for a mechanic shop, it wasn’t as dirty as you expected it to be but small oil puddles and thrown cloths could be seen here and there. There were only a few cars, not that you expected more since the place wasn’t the biggest. Taking one more look around, you saw a door with a sign that said staff only, you walked towards it and knocked, hoping somebody would open it and it would be Heeseung. You waited a few seconds until a tall man opened it with a sandwich in his hand and sauce and bread crumbs in the sides of his mouth. He looked at you with a confused expression as he leaned in the doorway.

“Um I’m here to talk with Heeseung, I’m friends with his girlfriend and she told me he’s looking for one more person to work here so-” you were cut off as the man walked away and shouted, “Heeseung hyung, there’s someone for you!” a faint coming could be heard in the distance as another figure started approaching the door. Said Heeseung appears in front of you. “So you must be the y/n Sohee’s always talking about?” he said looking at you with an extended hand, waiting for you to shake it. You took his hand in yours as you shook it, hoping he didn’t notice how sweaty it was from your nerves. “Ah yeah, that’s me! I’m assuming she told you how I wanted the job, right?” “Oh yes, she did tell me about it and I just need you to answer a few questions to know whether you can get the job is that ok?” Shit, smile and nod y/n. You quickly nodded at his words, hoping he wouldn’t ask if you knew how to do complex things. “I just need to know what kind of things you can fix or have done.” “Oh! I have done quite a few things, I’ve changed oils, fixed engine chains, changed batteries, changed tires and other small fixes.” you nodded and fiddled nervously with your fingers, silently hoping this was enough to have him accept you to this job. Heeseung nodded and slightly smiled at your words and extended his hand again. You looked at his hands and then at him and he laughed at your confusion. “Seems like you’re our newest employee, welcome!” you let out a breath of relief and shook his hand again. “Oh my god, thank you so much! I promise I'll try my best.” you said firmly as you offered him a smile. “No need to thank me. We really need one or two more employees so you’re big help right now. Anyways, you can start maybe tomorrow at 9 am?” “Oh sure, I can, see you tomorrow then!” Heeseung nodded at you and went back to the staff room as you made your way out to your car.

As soon as you sat in your car you immediately texted Sohee, thanking her for having such a nice boyfriend. You put your phone down and sigh happily. You got the job now, what could go wrong? Now you just need to focus on working hard and getting that money to go on that trip.

The sound of your alarm made you stir awake. You groaned as you stretched out and let your arms fall limp in bed with a loud thump. You closed your eyes as you let out a sigh, getting mentally ready for your first day at work. Getting out of bed, you made your way to the bathroom to take your morning shower. You turned the water on and let it warm a little bit before you went in. The warm water felt relaxing against your skin, an almost therapeutic feeling. As you washed yourself you started thinking about how would your first day at work, hoping you wouldn’t embarrass yourself in front of the rest of the boys and could get along with them. Now, it wasn’t like you had a hard time making friends, quite the opposite. Still, you were always a little awkward when you first met people, all thanks to your constant overthinking, never knowing if people enjoyed talking to you or not. You could say you had a pretty vast friend group but you weren’t as close with anyone as you were with Sohee. She has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. She’s been there for you anytime you needed and you for her. Sohee was the one who helped you come out of your comfort zone and try new things. Without her, you wouldn’t enjoy your teenage years as much as you did, hell, if it wasn’t for her you wouldn’t even dream of going on the damn trip.

You got out of the shower and stepped in front of the mirror, wiping some of the steam off of it. You started doing your normal skincare routine that, normally, would be a relaxing moment for you, but now you were only thinking about how you could be getting ready to head to the beach with your friends and drink a cocktail while tanning, and now you were only harshly rubbing the products on your face with irritation. Taking a deep breath you moved to your room to finish getting ready so you could leave the house as soon as you could. You looked in the mirror, taking in your appearance one last time before leaving the house, not that the way you looked right now mattered because you were more than sure that sooner or later you would be covered in oil and car fluids so you opted for your old overalls with an old shirt underneath.

The drive downtown was quiet and easy-going, still, there was some traffic since everyone started their work around the same time. The car’s clock indicated that it was 8:50, making you relieved that you weren’t gonna be late on your first day of work. Making the already familiar last turn, you reached the shop, parking in the lot it had inside. You got out of the car and instantly felt the slight summer breeze that ran through the morning air. Walking inside the shop, you could already hear some shuffling going on around the shop. As you got in further, you saw Heeseung who probably hasn’t noticed your presence yet from his crouched position, cleaning up some tools and putting them in a separate box. 

“Good morning, Hee!” you greeted, startling him. He got up and turned to face you with a surprised expression. “Oh hey, y/n! Wasn’t expecting you to be this early, though.” He said, chuckling as he wiped his hands with a cloth. “Well, you know, didn’t wanna be too late on my first day of work, I guess,” you said, swinging yourself back and forth, avoiding his gaze, feeling kinda awkward with yourself for worrying so much about being on time. “Usually the other boys come super late since they come all together so you shouldn’t worry about being on time here. Also, we’re supposed to be all friends here, so don’t put too much pressure on yourself about working here, it’s all chill here!” Heeseung said, trying to reassure and comfort you. “I guess it’s just a matter of time for me to get used to it.” you clapped your hands behind your back as you finished talking. “Anyways, should I start working?” you suggested. “Oh, yeah. Actually, there’s a car that needs an oil change, so maybe you could start by doing that.” Heeseung said, pointing to a red car that was already up in the hydraulic lift. “Sure thing!”

You put on some gloves that Heeseung gave you and started getting to work. Changing oil was something you did quite a lot, it was one of the first things your dad taught you, something that was so hard for you back then is now a piece of cake for you. Having a passion for cars made learning things way easier for you. Obviously, this old passion of yours wasn’t seen as a good thing for some people. Some would tell you girls shouldn’t be working with cars as it was the role for the boys or that you should be playing with your dolls instead of getting in your dad’s way while he was fixing his car. Of course, your little kid self felt awful hearing such things, but your parents would always reassure you that it didn’t matter what they said and that it was okay to want to learn those things. As time went by, people stopped commenting less and less. As you grew up you learned how to stand up for yourself and you wouldn’t leave those people without a response, and with time they learned how to mind their own business.

As you waited for the oil to fully drain, you heard a car pull up in the parking lot and the rest of the five boys arrived together, just as Heeseung had mentioned previously. You got up from your kneeling position and turned to look at them as they all got in and greeted Heeseung. Their loud voices quickly filled the place that was once only filled by the quiet tunes from Heeseung’s playlist and the occasional clanking of tools hitting the floor. You went back to work as they all talked with each other and started getting ready to work. You heard steps coming in your direction, making you look back to where it came from, seeing Jungwon walking towards you with his dimples on display.

“Good morning, y/n! You know it’s weird seeing someone who’s not Heeseung working here this early.” Jungwon said as he walked towards you, chuckling to himself. Stopping what you were doing, you turned all your attention to him. “Guess someone needed to give him some company, no?” you said putting your hands on your hips. “Keep going like that and he might give you the “employee of the month” title,” he said, making you laugh at him. “Anyways, what are you doing?” he asked, nodding at the car above you on the lift. “Oh, changing some oil, was about to put a new filter on.” you said as you pointed at the car’s oil pan, “Shouldn’t you get to work as well?” you asked, raising an eyebrow at him, making him scowl at you. “Don’t remind me, Heeseung gave me a shit ton of cars to clean, got work for a whole week,” he said rolling his eyes. Jungwon walked away to start working on his cleaning duty and you put your focus back on the oil filter.

Soon enough, it was lunchtime and the seven of you were all gathered in the staff room. You were all talking about multiple things and something that came to conversation was how they had never seen you around campus.

“I mean, I guess I’m not necessarily a social butterfly and we might not even have classes in the same place, so that might explain why we never crossed paths.” you explained as you ate some of your tuna-mayo wrap you brought from home, they all hummed in agreement. “What are you majoring in, though?” Sunghoon asked you as he looked up from his lunchbox. “Oh, I study computer science!” “Oh really? Then you must know Jake? Jake Sim? He shares a few classes with comp sci students” Heeseung asked, surprised to know you were in the same major as his best friend. You hummed in thought as the name sounded familiar. “It does ring a bell but I’m not really adding a face to the name though.” You said slightly tilting your head to the side as you tried your best to remember who the hell was Jake Sim. “Yeah, let’s just say his attendance isn’t exactly the highest…” Heeseung said as he hissed quietly. “Oh… yeah that must explain why I don’t remember him then.” You said chuckling. “Don’t misunderstand it. It’s not like he doesn’t care about classes, I mean he kinda doesn’t, but he is much more focused on football.” Heeseung paused as if he was in deep thought. “Jake knows if anything school-related goes wrong for him he can just take over his dad’s business, which most likely will happen.” You hummed, understanding what he meant.  

It wasn’t rare for jocks like Jake to skip classes and ignore the fact that they need to graduate. Still, some of them were lucky to have successful family businesses, like Jake was. His father was one of the most prestigious CEOs and businessmen of Seoul and even the whole of South Korea. He led one of the most famous costume software development companies around, starting in a small office in Seoul that, over the years, grew all over the country’s most famous districts. Jake obviously was following his father’s steps, deciding to follow the computer science field so one day he could take over his father’s business. Was this his dream? No. Did he really wanna be a future CEO? Also no. He was doing this solely because he knew his dad would never approve of his younger son pursuing a football career. His older brother, Jaewoo, was already following the business field and Jake was just expected to do the same as him and since the older sibling decided not to work in his father’s company, he was the last hope to keep the business going so he felt like he had no other option. He felt suffocated knowing that everyone had high expectations for him, having people constantly asking him if he was happy to know he would take over the oh-so successful business, to which he obviously smiled and nodded but deep down he felt mad, almost furious, that people only expected him to do that. No one ever asked him about football, even though everyone knew he was good and even the best in the team and could grow so much more in that field if it weren’t for people like them who only cared about status and money. That’s not who Jake wants to become, selfish and greedy.

The day came to an end, the sky had a pink and orange hue to it, creating a beautiful painting, pleasing and conforming to gaze at. You started organizing all the tools you had used, placing them in their respective place in the toolbox Heeseung had lent you. Distant chattering could be heard from the other boys playing around as they had also finished their work for the day. You were walking towards the bathroom to wash your hands when you heard someone call your name. 

“Hey, y/n!” You looked back to see Sunghoon, who called you, and the rest of the guys looking at you. “Come out for dinner with us, we’re going to the barbeque place downtown.” “Um, I don’t know guys, it’s gonna get late and we have work again tomorrow…” You said, scratching the back of your neck, suddenly feeling shy, not being used to going out with people you barely knew. “Oh come on, to celebrate your first day being one of us! It’s on Heeseung tonight!” Ni-ki said patting the older man on the back, who was about to complain but quickly agreed with the younger one as he felt him pinching him. “Yeah, y/n, don’t even worry about coming late tomorrow.” Your eyes flickered between all of them until you decided to agree with them, realizing that maybe you need to loosen up a little and stop being such a pussy. You sighed, nodding your head at them “Ok, fine! But I’m not paying!” You said raising your hands. The boys cheered dramatically, making you roll your eyes but laugh nonetheless. “Anyways, I’m going home to get ready, just text me later with the address.” Everyone bid their goodbyes and you made your way back to your car, ready to go home.

As you entered your house, your mom came to greet you, kissing your cheek in the process. “Hey, dear. How was your first day at work?” she asked you, grabbing your jacket and putting it into the coat hanger at your entrance. “Oh, it actually went really well. Wasn’t expecting to work as much as I did, but I’m proud that I could do that much.” “Ah, you must be so tired, honey! Was the lunch I made enough? Oh, maybe I should’ve-” “Mom,” you said laughing “It was more than enough, don’t worry about it, ok?” you reassured her, rubbing her arms that rested on her side as she looked tense. “Anyways, they all invited me to dinner so I’m gonna shower and get ready.” You kissed her cheek and ran upstairs towards your room.

Dinner yesterday went smoothly. All your worries about not being able to get along with them were quickly thrown away when you found yourself talking with them like you’ve known them for ages. The night was filled with laughter, maybe because of the funny stories being shared or maybe it was the alcohol that everyone- except Ni-ki- had consumed. You were glad you were able to let yourself loose and enjoy the night to the max, you couldn’t remember the last time you had that much fun since you were always so busy with college and finals were kicking your ass. The last thing you remember doing that night was texting Sohee that you had gotten home safely and you had enjoyed the night.

Now you were waking up with the buzz of your alarm, opening your eyes only to close them right away when the bright sun rays hit your face. You sat up on the bed, feeling your head pound making you hiss at the strong feeling. You got up and walked to the bathroom scolding yourself to never drink on a work night again.

Driving to work today was painful, no matter how strong the medicine you took was or how much orange juice you drank, the pounding headache you got was not going away and the dark circles under your eyes also weren’t a very pleasant sight to see so you opted to wear a pair of sunglasses. You looked at the time and it marked 9:40 am, definitely not on time but no one could really blame you for being extra slow today and your mom also made sure to take a few more minutes from your time to scold you about being late out and drinking when you had work the next day.

Arriving at the shop, you saw everyone already there making you sigh, hating yourself for being the last one arriving at work. Walking inside you saw that no one was working, instead, they were all sitting at a table near the entrance, some of them laying their head down on the table and others drinking energy drinks to be able to go on with their day. “I don’t even know if it’s safe to say good morning.” you said sitting down next to them, plopping down on the chair, hissing at the quick movement that made the pounding sensation in your head stronger. No one was able to say anything so you were all sitting down in silence, looking at the cars driving by the shop. Any passer-by would think you had nothing to do when in fact there was way too much to do than any of you could. 

“Remind me to never do this again, please.” Jungwon said referring to going out until late, making everyone hum in agreement. Suddenly, Heeseung gets up, clapping his hands and then rubbing them together “Let’s get to work. These cars aren’t gonna fix themselves.” Everyone groaned at the older man’s words, some complaining, saying it would be fair to take a day one, only receiving Heeseung’s glare in return. “Anyways, y/n, I know you just got here, but I really need you to do me a favour,” Heeseung said, turning to you. You stared at him through your glasses in response “Pretty please?” He said lacing his hands together, making you sigh and roll your eyes. “Oh my god, fine! What is it then?” You said putting your hand on your hip with a sigh. “I need you to go downtown to pick up a parcel at the post. It has some pieces that I need for the car I'm fixing.” You said nothing in return aside from an I’ll be back soon as you entered the car.

The drive back to the shop was awful, you were stuck in traffic for almost an hour and about to burst in anger. “If it wasn’t for Heeseung and his stupid parcel…” you said, talking to yourself. When you arrived back at the shop you were more than ready to throw hands at Heeseung, if the parcel weren’t so heavy you would be running in his direction. “I swear to God, Heeseung, if you ever, but ever make me go through all this traffic again, man, I swear on my life I won’t-” You stopped in your tracks when you saw what was in front of you. “Oh my good God, what in the good earth, I- oh my goodness.” you dropped the parcel on the floor as you approached Sunghoon who was near the entrance. “Hoon, please tell me I’m not seeing things and my eyes aren’t deceiving me.” You exclaimed, your eyes never moving away from the car in front of you. Sunghoon swore he never saw your eyes shining so brightly “Hoon, is this a freaking Ford Mustang from ‘69?” you said in a high-pitched voice as your hands made their way to your face, cupping your cheeks. It wasn’t until you heard a deep chuckle that you noticed a figure next to Sunghoon. You looked in the person’s direction and you were met with a beautiful, almost ethereal, face that was already looking at you, sporting a smirk, making you feel nervous under his strong gaze. Your eyes looked him up and down, noticing he was dressed in designer head to toe. His face was familiar to you but you couldn’t grasp any memory with his face on it.

“You like it?” he asked, nodding his head towards the car before you. You nodded at him with a hum, words suddenly stuck in your throat and you didn’t even dare to try and speak, fearing your voice would fail you. He chuckled at you, finding amusement in your shy behaviour. “You wanna touch it?” he asked raising his brow as his smirk turned into a beautiful grin. You felt your cheeks grow hotter than before and Sunghoon decided to intervene before Jake could keep going, sensing his suggestive undertone. “Ok, that’s enough for you two, geez!” he said rolling his eyes, before speaking again “Anyways, you can leave the car here and Heeseung or anyone will take care of it, you already know you’re in good hands here so no need to worry.” “Alright then, just call me when it’s done, yeah?” Jake said as he and Sunghoon dapped each other up before he left, not forgetting to wink and wave at you, to which you gave a small wave back. “Kids these days.” Sunghoon said sighing and shaking his head at you, making you frown at him. “Shut up!” you said slapping his arm as you walked past him to pick up the parcel you left on the floor.

You walked back inside the shop, finding Heeseung crouched on the floor as he cleaned some rims he just fixed. “Hey Hee, got your parcel here. Do you want me to put it somewhere or should I just leave it here?” you said as you approached his figure “Oh, you can just leave it in that chair, I’m gonna need that in a while.” he said getting up as he wiped his forehead with his arm. “By the way, Jake’s car, the one in the entrance, needs to get the left view mirror changed, he broke it while parking somewhere. So, since I'm working on this car and it’s gonna take me a while, you’re going to be the one fixing it.” Oh! That was definitely interesting and caught your attention. “Oh, sure, no problem. It shouldn’t take too long.” This was only great. Not only were you fixing one of your dream and favourite cars but you were fixing a hot guy's car. 

Later that day you arrived home with a happy sigh. Even though you were feeling extra tired from the hangover and work altogether, you could only think about your new acquaintance, a hot one. It has been a long time since you’ve felt like this for someone or especially for a boy. After your most recent ex-boyfriend, you tried to focus more on yourself and your friends since he hadn’t allowed you to do so. Those were times that were long gone and you wanted to erase them from your memory as you moved on.

You had dinner with your parents and went upstairs to get ready to go to bed earlier than usual to recover those lost hours of sleep. You showered and did your usual night routine, being extra careful and allowing yourself to relax. As you sat in bed, you grabbed your phone, seeing multiple notifications, since you don’t use your phone during work, from texts from your friends and social media ones, but there was one that caught your attention. For a moment you thought you were having delusional visions, but as you clicked on it it took you directly to Jake’s Instagram profile and the top showed the Accept and Decline button. He had found his way to your profile and it had you giggling silently, making you feel like you were in high school all over again. It had been about 3 hours since he sent the request so it was safe to accept without looking like a creep. Taking a deep breath to calm yourself, you proceeded to answer your texts and update Sohee on the tea, so you called her.

“Sohee, I kid you not, he is so attractive, I can’t!” you heard her sigh for the nth time on the phone, feeling her eye roll through the screen. “Y/n, I’ve seen him plenty of times, and trust me, I know he is, but be careful, I heard some things about him, though.” “Don’t worry about that, it’s just a silly crush. I’ll be over it sooner or later.” Sohee sighed again and you could hear her moving around in her bed sheets. “Yeah, whatever. We’ll talk later. Heeseung is calling me.” After talking with Sohee you were left alone with your thoughts as you scrolled on your phone but you weren’t really paying any attention to any of the posts, as you were thinking about Sohee’s warning. You decided to put your phone down and go to sleep to calm the thoughts running through your mind. As you were feeling yourself fall into a slumber, you heard your phone buzz but you chose to ignore it. You turn to the other side, getting comfortable to fall asleep again but again, your phone buzzes making you sit up and grab it aggressively. You turned it on, the bright light making you squint your eyes as you turned the brightness down. You unlocked it, checking who was texting at this hour. You felt your heart pound, getting nervous, as you saw Jake had dmed you. You click on his text, not caring if it had only been seconds from his last text. 

simjaeyun_: hey :)                                                   11:37pm             

simjaeyun_: ignoring me now mnh?                        11:46 pm    

youruser: stalking me now huh?                              11:47 pm

youruser: didn’t take for the stalker type tbh          11:47 pm

Your heart started beating quicker when you saw how fast he started typing an answer.

simjaeyun_: then what type do you take me to be? 11:48 pm 

youruser: well                                                           11:48 pm

youruser: definitely the one who makes other people stalk you not the other way around. 11:48 pm 

simjaeyun_: maybe you just caught my attention like that ;) 11:48 pm

youruser: oh? did i now?                                           11:49 pm

simjaeyun_: maybe, find it out yourself :)                  11:49 pm

You looked at the texts, feeling a soft blush creeping on your cheeks as you hugged your knees to your chest. You decided to leave him on read, not really having an answer to his text but Jake himself wasn’t expecting to get one back. You looked at the ceiling, having lost all your sleep by now. You closed your eyes and sighed as you slid down your bed until you were laying down. You turned to the side, watching the moon from your window, which you usually left open since it helped you wake up. You closed your eyes, trying to sleep, as the image of the texts kept appearing in your head, keeping you awake for a while.

The next day you woke up, remembering last night's events, making you clutch your sheets closer to your chest. You sat up on the edge of the bed, as you sighed and rubbed your face with your hands, making your way to the bathroom to do your routine and maybe it would help you keep your thoughts away from him.  You looked in the mirror as you brushed your teeth, glad to see your dark circles were already gone. You did your usual skincare routine and headed down to the kitchen to have breakfast, seeing your mom had made you some pancakes and a black coffee, which were placed neatly on the table where she was already eating.

“Good morning mom!” you greeted her with a smile as you sat in front of her. “Good morning, dear! Did you sleep well?” “Oh yeah, I did! I went to sleep earlier to recover from the hangover…” She sighed at your words as she gave you a warning look, reminding you of her scolding. “Is there a special occasion for you to make me breakfast?” You asked as you took a bite of pancakes. “Not really, can’t I be sweet for my daughter once in a while?” She answered and you squinted at her, knowing there was a reason behind it, she wasn’t one to do these things just because. “You came home smilier than usual. Anything special happened at work?” She asked, trying to sound as nonchalant as she could. You stopped your movement for less than a second but enough time for her to notice. “Um, not really, was just happy.” You said after taking a sip from your coffee and putting the mug down. “Are you sure it was just that?” She propped her elbows on the table with her hands intertwined, looking as if she was questioning you for a crime you did. “Yes, mom. I’m pretty sure.” She hummed, taking a sip from her tea. “Is that why you were squealing with Sohee on the phone last night?” You gasped at her words. “Mom! Were you eavesdropping on me?” You asked her shocked that she had heard you talking with Sohee. “Oh no, dear. You know I’m not one to do that. I just happened to be walking past your room and heard you all excited about a certain- oh what was the name?” She stopped, trying to remember “Oh! Jake! Yes, Jake. Now, you wanna tell me about that?” You blushed at her words as if you were caught doing something bad or she heard a secret of yours. “Mom! No!” You said getting up from your chair, leaving a small bit of pancake on your plate. “I’m leaving. I need to go to work. Bye, love you!” You started walking faster, rushing to the door after picking up your house and car keys.

You entered the car, thinking about the conversation with your mom, reminding yourself to be more careful when talking with Sohee on the phone. You reached the shop just on time, parking your car in your usual place, which by now, you claimed as yours. You walked inside, seeing Heeseung and Ni-ki talking about something about a car.

“Good morning guys!” you greeted as you put your lunch bag down. They both looked back at you, seeming relieved you were finally there. “Oh thank God you’re here.” Ni-ki sighed. “Yeah, what’s up?” You asked, intrigued as to what they needed you for. “So, we were discussing car designs for me to do in the car Heeseung is taking care of, but the problem is that we can’t agree on one design.” He started explaining as Heeseunf put his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes at the younger male. “So tell me. in between these which one is better?” He finished, showing pictures of different designs. You hummed in thought as you looked carefully at the pictures and the car behind them. “I think for this car these two thick stripes would fit the best, but that’s my opinion!” “See! I told you! You won’t listen to me. Y/n, he won’t agree with me, please help me.” Ni-ki said as he put his hands together in a plea. “Sorry, Hee. Gotta agree with him in this one.” Heeseung looked at you with a dumbfounded expression. “Don’t fire me?” You said shrugging your shoulders at him. The older man rolled his eyes, sighing as he finally gave in. “Fine, but only because it's two against one.” “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say hyung.” Ni-ki said leaving the area, you looked at him shrugging at him, “Kids these days.” he said under his breath in a mumble. 

You grabbed your stuff from where you had previously put it and took it into the staff room. Coming back to the area, you grabbed some gloves and put them on, ready to start working on Jake’s car. Heeseung had already put it in a space for you to fix it and besides it was a box with the side view mirror to replace to broken one. You’ve never changed a mirror before, but you remember one time when your dad did when your mom hit it on the wall while she was parking the car in the garage. It wasn’t much of a hassle, it was easy and simple. You opened the car’s door and you were met with the beautiful interior, which Jake had most likely renovated into a more modern one, but still had a vintage touch to it. The car smelled like a man’s perfume, probably his own, mixed with a leathery scent that came from the beautiful black leather seats with red details. Snapping out of your daze with the car’s interior you went back to work. You started by carefully taking out the mirror’s trim cover and removing the screws that were hidden.

As you were taking out the screws and putting them in a spare box, you felt a presence coming up behind you. Looking up, you found Sunghoon looking at you as he leaned on the car door. “Hey there!” you said as you kept doing your work. “Enjoying yourself, huh?” He said with a smug smirk adorning his face, making you roll your eyes. “Go away Sunghoon.” You said but still, you had a smile on your face. “It’s nothing special.” you finished. “You can’t be saying that when you acted how you did yesterday when you saw the car, practically fangirling over it. I mean, not to mention how you were fangirling over Ja-” “Shut up!” you said looking at him. “I wasn’t, you were seeing things.” Sunghoon laughed at your behaviour. “C’mon, no need to act shy now.” He started “You know, he texted me yesterday.” “Ok? And why should i care?” You said raising a brow at him. “He was asking me, or better, begging me to give him your Instagram.” You looked away from him as you felt your cheeks heat up. “I don’t know why he would do that!” You said, pretending to be interested in those screws. “Eh, you’ll eventually find out, I guess.” He said making you look back at him. “What is that supposed to mean.” You asked suddenly interested in what he had to say. He started walking away, his back turned to you “Nothing you should worry your pretty head about.” He answered, making you tilt your head, confused at his words. You sighed as you went back to working on that mirror.

It wasn’t too long after your conversation with Sunghoon that little by little everyone started gathering in front of the staff-only door to eat lunch. You got up and joined Jungwon and Sunoo, who was engrossed in a conversation about the latest tea about someone on campus. You were so focused on observing and listening to them talk that you didn’t notice an extra someone entering the shop until Jay mentioned it.

“Jake? What are you doing here man?” That made your ears perk up, but you pretended to still be listening to the gossip you were previously listening to. “Your mirror still isn’t fixed, so no luck for you today.” Heeseung said also greeting him with the handshake their group shared. You looked at them at the mention of the mirror, so it wouldn’t look as suspicious. “Yeah, I figured. Just wanted to join you guys for lunch.” He said raising his take-out bag. You heard someone gasp, looking you saw Ni-ki looking with heart eyes at the take-out bag. “Is that for us?” He said with his boxy smile. Everyone looked at Jake with hopeful eyes. “What? No, it’s mine! And no way in hell I’m sharing this with you guys.” Jake said in a warning tone. Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes at him “You’re literally no fun.” Sunoo said giving him a judging look. Jake simply shrugged as he looked around the room until his eyes met yours, making him bite back a smirk. Sunghoon, who was watching carefully and aware of the situation, nudged you slightly when Jake looked away, making you mouth a what? at him which he only answered with a smirk.

You all moved inside the staff room, sitting around the round table. Jake was sitting across from you and you were sitting in between Sunghoon and Ni-ki. Every time you looked up you would be met with Jake’s eyes staring into you shamelessly, making you bounce your feet nervously. Your eyes drifted towards Sunghoon and you were able to see the smirk he was hiding with food while looking between you and Jake until he finally noticed you looking at him, making him raise his eyebrows at you to which you answered with a shrug as you looked back to your food. You wondered if Jake was going to talk to you anytime today. Since he arrived today he hadn’t even spoken a word to you, not even a simple Hi, making you wonder if he was only the all-talk type through social media or if he just didn’t have the guts to talk to you personally, but still, he had no problem flirting and teasing you when you guys first met.

Lunch was over and you got back to work. Jake hadn’t gone away yet, lingering around the shop, mainly around Heeseung as they talked about things you couldn’t listen to. The sudden realization that you were working on his car hit and you wondered if he was gonna approach you in a way. Snapping out of your thoughts, you went back to finish fixing the mirror, already more than halfway done. You were putting everything back in place, with the mirror already replaced, when you saw Jake walking towards you from your peripheral vision. You felt your breath hitch as your shoulders tensed the closer he got.

“I see you finally got to touch it, huh?” He said, putting his hands in his pockets. “Oh! Yeah, I did.” You answered with an awkward laugh, feeling your palms getting sweaty. “Like what you felt, sweetheart?” Your eyes widen at that, suddenly feeling at a loss for words. You were more than sure if any other man would’ve said that to you, you would’ve cringed right away, but not when said man looked like Jake did. “I- well-” Jake started laughing, making you feel somewhat embarrassed. “I’m just playing around. You’re not that shy through texting.” He said reminding you of how confident you may have sounded through texts. “Well, I guess it’s not the same as talking face-to-face, right?” You stated, looking up at him in the eyes. His mouth opened to say something but closed right away. “Yeah, you’re right.” He took a breath in as he straightened his posture.  “Anyways, is the mirror any close to being done?” He wondered. “Oh yeah, actually I just need to test it and it’s all ready for you to take it home!” You said while smiling at him, proud that you were able to do something new quickly yet carefully. “Oh really? You were pretty quick. Can’t say I’m not impressed, though, in a positive way, of course.” You giggled at him. “Thanks, Jake. I appreciate that.” He smiled warmly at you, nodding your way as he walked away from you, leaving you alone to finish your work.

It was almost time to go home when Jake and Heeseung approached you next to Jake’s car, where you were slightly bent over, as you were touching up some scratches near the mirror area with touch-up black paint. You finished the work, smiling proudly at yourself, as you turned around to face the two boys who were watching you silently as you worked. You sighed happily at them, adjusting the oversized overalls that you wore for work. “I’m officially done!” You exclaimed as you stretched an arm towards the car. Heeseung patted Jake in the back signaling him to get him and his car home. “You can pay me later.” Heeseung said walking away, knowing if he stayed Jake would insist on paying. Jake sighed as he looked at you. “Thank you for doing this, by the way.“ He said with a smile, making you shrug. “You’re welcome, Jake. After all, it’s my job.” You answered, looking down as you kicked non-existent rocks. Jake gave you a wide grin, watching your face, appreciating the way your lashes touched your cheeks when you blinked and how you bit your lip when you were nervous. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, he walked towards his car. “Tomorrow?” You tilted your head to the side but you got no response as he got in his car. The engine purred as he drove out of the garage, leaving you standing dumbfounded. “Will I ever figure him out?”

Jake got home with only one thing, or rather someone, going through his mind. As cliché as it felt for him, he couldn’t understand what was in you that made him want to stay glued to you forever. He wanted to get to know you, know what you liked and disliked, and what were your hobbies. Did you have a pet? You didn’t really look like you had one. As soon as he entered his penthouse, he made his way to his room, falling into his bed with a thud, sighing as he felt his head make contact with his fluffy pillows. He still could feel his heart thumping in his chest, quicker than it ever beat. It felt weird, a good weird. He liked the feeling. One he only ever felt with his high school crush who had rejected him in his junior year. Jake groaned out loud as his arm fell to his face, covering his eyes. “What have you done to me?”

The past week was full of work. Everyone barely interacted, focused on getting everyone’s car fixed since it’s vacation season and everyone needed their car as soon as possible. Still, one thing everyone found weird was how Jake came to visit almost every day, something that never really happened through all these years everyone had worked there. Sunghoon always made sure to point out to you that Jake was always lingering close to you, making you give him annoyed remarks. Deep down you were glad he stood close to you as you got time to know him better and to your surprise he was more interesting than you ever thought a jock would be, no offence. You two would laugh with each other for hours until Heeseung needed to scold you to go back to work, hiding his smile as he watched you two playfully fight each other. His presence made work hours go by quicker and you started enjoying his presence a little bit too much, noticing the way your heart would beat a tad bit faster when you heard him laugh at something you said.

When you were done with work Jake would take you out and grab convenience store food for you two to eat in the park. It was in those moments that you both got vulnerable with each other, sharing all of your life stories, good and bad ones. Every night you call Sohee and rant about how scared you are of catching feelings for him, even though you knew you were already in deep, and she always reassured you that you shouldn’t feel like that as it’s only natural and what has to happen, will happen. Whatever you were feeling with Jake, is something you never felt with anyone before, as cliché as it can be, but your past dating history left a huge mark on you and you had a tendency to shut people out when they got too close, until now. The boys noticed a subtle shift in the way you and Jake interacted, but still, they only observed from afar, never intruding on whatever was happening between you two. It felt kind of weird for them to see Jake behaving that way around someone who wasn’t part of his friend group or more specifically with a girl, but deep down they felt happy seeing their friend finally letting himself loosen up.

The day at the shop was going smoothly, it was a bad day of work for Heeseung. There were no clients coming up and everyone except him was sitting around playing cards or just talking to each other as he finished fixing one car. You were sat at a table with Sunoo and Sunghoon, your hands covering your ears as they kept asking questions you didn’t wanna hear and less likely answer. “Come on, y/n!” Sunoo said pulling your hands out of your ears, making you roll your eyes. “I don’t like him, ok?” You sighed, “I literally met him, like, not even two weeks ago. I don’t even know him like that.” “y/n, you know damn well it’s not like that.” Sunghoon said leaning back in his chair. “Just admit you like him!” “Like who?” The three of you looked back to find Jake walking towards you with his hands in his pockets. “No one, I don’t like anyone.” You said closing your eyes as you propped your head in your hand. Jake looked at Sunghoon, as the latter smirked at him, making you glare not-so discreetly at him. Jake sat in a free chair next to you and the two other men thought it was a good idea to stand up and walk away, leaving you two alone.

“Bad work day?” He started. “Yeah, something like that.” You sighed, playing with a paper cup in front of you. “It’s just the end of the month and most people are on vacation by now so it was expected.” Jake hummed, an idea coming up to him. “So you have nothing to do, right?” You looked at him wondering why he was asking that. “Uh, yeah, I don’t.” You answered nodding at him. He got up, extending a hand to you. “Come.” He said as he smiled and nodded his head towards his way. You hesitated in grabbing his hand and getting up as he dragged you to his car. “But, the other we need to tell-” “Don’t worry ‘bout that. We’ll be quick.” Jake said as he opened his car door for you. You looked at the car and then at him, making him nod at you, urging you to get in. Jake sat in the driver's seat with a happy sigh. He looked at him, watching as you admired his car, gently touching the leather seats, feeling the wealth in your touch. You looked around the car in awe, making him giggle at your antics. You turned to look at him with a blush and a small smile, feeling shy he caught you as you admired his expensive car. He turned the keys, making the engine purr as you felt the seats vibrate with the loud sound. “Wow!” You said with a gasp “It feels so different when you’re actually inside the car.” You looked at him as he drove out of the shop’s driveway. “Yeah, I felt that too when I first drove it.” He said with a chuckle. “Where are you taking me?” You asked curiously. “You’ll see, princess. Enjoy the ride for now.” He answered as he chose a song to play for the ride. 

You looked out of your window, seeing the sun almost setting, making the sky turn into an orange explosion. The ride was silent, a comfortable silence, and you found yourselves in an empty road, no words needed to be spoken as you admired the view ahead of you. You rolled your window down, laying your head on the edge of the door. Jake looked at you, admiring your hair that flew freely with the wind and how your eyes were shining in awe and you wore a smile. He looked back to the front and he bit a smile back, failing to do so as the corners of his lips curled upwards. Jake was now driving towards a kind of abyss. He stopped the car, turning off the engine. “Is this it?” You asked making him nod at you with a smile. You both walked out of the car and sat in its hood. You gasped at the view in front of you. You could see the whole city from above. All the tall skyscrapers looked tiny and the street lights were only small dots on a canvas. The sky above showed a pink and orange painting, and the sun had almost fully set.

“Jake” he looked at you, admiring your side profile “This is beautiful.” You finished, looking at him with a big grin, making him mirror your actions. You looked back ahead as you scooted closer to him in the hood of the car, feeling your shoulder touch his. Jake smiled to himself, not daring to look your way to avoid doing something he would regret. “Thank you.” You said looking at him, seeing how his eyes slightly widened. He looked down at his feet, feeling his ears get hotter “It’s nothing really.” “How did you even find this place?” You wondered. “This is gorgeous!” Jake finally looked at you, examining your face, sensing you were asking a genuine question and not just a rhetorical one. “Well,” He started with a sigh. “I usually come here to kind of unwind a little.” He said kicking some rocks on the floor. “It just tunes me out the rest of the world. I feel the best when I’m here.”

He felt the urge to keep talking as he felt you still looking at the side of his head. “Normally when I have a big argument with my dad I just come here and let everything out. No one comes here since it’s far from the city so now it’s my comfort place and I’ve never brought anyone here except for you.” He stopped talking, looking at you, seeing you with empathetic eyes. “Thank you for sharing that with me Jake.” You rubbed his back in a comforting way “I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me all that, I know it’s not easy to deal with those kinds of problems, even if I never went through them myself. I hope you know I’m a shoulder you can lean on when you need one. You shouldn’t keep those thoughts to yourself.” Jake felt his eyes getting teary as he heard you talk. “I really appreciate that, y/n. I just feel like you give me so much of you and I never really shared something really intimate, so I thought this would feel just right.” He said holding his tears. You smiled at him, pulling his arm, grabbing it as you leaned your head on his shoulder, looking back to the view as a comfortable silence fell over you two. Jake’s head leaned in yours and he felt a soft bubble form in his chest, making him close his eyes and take a deep breath in of the fresh air that danced around both of your hairs.

The sun fully set after a while. Stars started appearing in the dark sky. “Look,” You said pointing to the sky “The first star of the night. Make a wish!” You finished as you looked at Jake. “A wish?” You nodded “Alright if you say so.” Both of you closed your eyes and put your hands together as you made your wishes. Jake opened his eyes to look at you, seeing you with your eyes closed and a giddy smile on your lips. You opened your eyes, looking at Jake only to find him already looking down at you, the summer breeze made his hair move beautifully. “What did you wish for?” he asked “Can’t tell you, it won’t come true if I do.” Jake chuckled at your answer, making you do the same. You both stared into each other eyes, not daring to look away as if you were in some trance with each other's eyes, giving you time to appreciate each other’s features. You couldn’t understand how people could view Jake as a bad being. Since the moment you both started getting closer, he was nothing but a sweetheart to you and besides that, you saw how he treated the other boys as well, always being caring with them, giving them food when one of them didn’t have enough or going as far as secretly ordering take out for Ni-ki when he had forgotten to pack his own lunch. They didn’t know him in reality. If they had seen him with your eyes they would know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone or anything purposely. They couldn’t see the sparkle in his eyes when he saw dogs playing in the park or the way his tongue would slightly poke his pouty lips when he focused on something. If only they could see him the way you do.

Your phone suddenly buzzed in your pocket, making you break the intense eye contact that seemed to last an eternity. You looked at the contact ID seeing it was your mom calling you, making you silently curse under your breath. “Hey, mom.” You turned to Jake, mouthing him a Sorry which he dismissed with a shake of his head. “Uh…” Your eyes started moving around nervously “I, uh, I’m with Jake, Mom.” You hissed, scratching the back of your neck. Your mom started going off excitedly about how she was right about him, making you roll your eyes, hoping the said man couldn’t hear what she was saying. “Um, Mom, I don’t- okay wait.” You turned to Jake with a sigh “You wanna come over for dinner?” You asked him, making him still for a moment. “Uh, sure, I mean, why not.” He answered shrugging, something you weren’t really expecting, but deep down you were kind of glad he had accepted. “Okay, he’s coming. Yeah, see you, bye Mom.” You hung up, standing up and looking at Jake. He only looked at you, not knowing what to say. “C’mon.” You pulled him off the hood “We got dinner waiting for us.” 

You were driving back to the city, immersed in a conversation about various topics. “Also, I’m gonna warn you about my mom, she can be a little too much sometimes, so sorry in advance.” Jake laughed at your words. “Don’t say that. I’m pretty sure she means well.” He said looking at you. “If that makes you feel better about meeting her, then sure Jake, whatever you say.” Shortly after, Jake was pulling into your house’s driveway, making you feel nervous, the fact that he was meeting your parents finally sinking in. You don’t know why you felt like this, you two weren’t even dating. You walked to your front door and searched for the keys that were somewhere lost in your bag. Suddenly the door burst open, making you squeal in surprise as you almost tripped and if it weren’t for Jake you would’ve fallen on your butt. “Oh, what gentleman he is!” The door was fully open, revealing your mom who was now cooing at Jake. “Mom, don't.” you said in a warning tone, making her wave her hand at you dismissingly. “Oh, you must be Jake.” She said grabbing him by the arms “Come in you two.” She invited, making space for you to enter the house. “How was day, dear?” Your mom asked, making you break the mad face you were making at her with a small smile. “It was okay. We didn’t have any clients today which is not good for the shop.” “Oh, that must be really frustrating for you guys.” She said furrowing her brows in a worried way. “Anyways, let’s get to the kitchen. The food’s getting cold.” She smiled warmly at you two as she dragged you both to the kitchen. “Is dad not home?” You said with a small pout. “Oh no, he’s out for that company dinner he had. You know it.” You nodded at her letting out an Oh as you remember your father talking about it.

Jake tried to hide it, but as small as this interaction was, it was still a very domestic one. Those were the interactions he longed for but they never came to him. He felt a pang in his chest but your mom’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Give me your plate, dear. I’ll serve you.” She said smiling warmly at him, making him mirror her expression. Your mom seemed so sweet and he genuinely wanted to enjoy this small moment. 

The three of you talked comfortably throughout the night. Jake was able to get those negative thoughts out of his head for a while as he interacted with you both. He loved watching you talk with your mom, seeing the way your eyes light up when she says something that makes you laugh. Just watching that made him smile, which didn’t go unnoticed by your mom. Jake saw his phone light up on the table with a text from his dad asking him where he was and another from a contact he promised himself to never answer again. This made his whole good mood disappear and he just felt like going home. He felt guilty to do this but felt the need to be alone and forget about those texts.

“Everything alright?” you asked with a worried expression, just then he noticed he had his brows pressed tightly together. “Oh um, yeah, just my dad texting me.” He said smiling at you, guilt eating him up, but deep down he wasn’t lying, just not telling the whale truth, which made him feel shitty. “It’s getting late so maybe I should go. Thank you for the meal, it was really good!” He got up, grabbing his jacket from the chair. You got up as well and followed him to your front door as your mom stayed in the kitchen cleaning up. “Hey,” You said grabbing his attention “Are you sure you’re alright? You looked pretty tense back there.” You asked in a worried tone. He sighed, nodding at you. “Yes, princess. Don’t worry about it. I’ll text you when I get home, yeah?” You nodded at him and you bid your goodbyes. Before he could leave, you grabbed his wrist. “Thank you for today, really.” You smiled widely at him, making him chuckle at you “You’re welcome, princess. Good night.” You let his hand go as you waved at him before closing the door. You turned around to see your mom leaning on the kitchen door. You held your hand up “Don’t even start, ok?” you said not wanting to have that conversation. “Dind’t day a word, honey.” She said smiling at you. “Whatever. Goodnight, Mom.” “Goodnight, dear.”

You let yourself fall into the comfort of your bed with a sigh. You grabbed your phone, seeing a notification from Jake, making you quickly tap on it. 

jake <3: thank you for tonight, princess :)

jake <3: sorry for leaving so suddenly. my dad texted me and you know how it is…

you: jake you don’t need to thank me 

you: we were both glad to have you eat with us and dont worry about that i totally understand

you: im gonna head to sleep now. goodnight jake :) 

jake <3: goodnight princess:) 

The next day at work you felt kind of uneasy. The way Jake left your house yesterday left you with an unsettling feeling. You didn’t know what his dad had texted him and you surely weren’t gonna ask him, you were in no place to do that. It was already 5:30 pm and Jake still hadn’t stopped by the shop, something unusual since he always comes by lunchtime. You didn’t want to think too much of it and tried to convince yourself that he was just busy. As you were cleaning up a car you just finished fixing, you heard footsteps coming towards you, making you look to see Heeseung and Sunghoon. “Lover boy didn’t come today, huh?” Sunghoon said making you roll your eyes before turning to look at them, now standing up from your crouching position. “He’s not my lover and you know that damn well.” you said propping your hand on your hip. “Yet!” Heeseung says with a stupid grin on his face.

“Anyways, we’re going to this party tonight and we wanted to invite you so you better be there.” the older male said. “Uh, I don’t know, guys. I’m not really-” “Not in the mood, yeah we know. Same story and it’s not working today. You are going today, no excuses.” Sunghoon paused for a while “You know, Jake’s gonna be there.” he said with a smirk. You lightly tapped your foot on the floor, knowing you didn’t really have a choice other than going and if you ended up going you would see Jake. Not that you missed him, maybe just a little bit though.  “Fine, I guess I can go.” you sighed, crossing your arms “Where and when?” Heeseung gave you the details about the party, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad with Jake there. Even if you were still kind of sour about him not coming, you were sure he had a good reason not to, right?

You walked up to your mirror, checking yourself out one last time before leaving. You lightly rubbed your finger under your lips, cleaning a lipstick smudge. You looked at your outfit, a simple lace, black corset-like top paired with some black leather pants and black heels. The top felt a little too revealing for you, but you decided to come out of your comfort zone for once and try new things. You felt pretty. Your hair was just right, your makeup looked flawless and your outfit was tight just in the right places, flattering your silhouette. Tonight was the night and you were going to enjoy it to the fullest. Sohee had previously texted you, informing you she would also be there with Heeseung, which made you less stressed about this party. You drove to the address Heeseung had texted you, the clock showed 11:45, a reminder that you were 15 minutes late. “Typical y/n, am I right?” you mumbled to yourself when you stopped at a red light. Taking one last turn, you saw a sign with the name of the bar Hee had told you. You parked your car and walked towards the entrance, feeling the biting wind hit your skin, making you regret not taking a small coat with you. You entered the bar and it was already almost full since it was almost midnight. You passed and pushed through the crowd of people Excuses me’s and Sorry’s leaving your lips as you did so. Finally, you were able to spot a tall ash blond who could only be Heeseung and walked towards him.

“Hey and before you scold me, yes I know I’m late.” you said as you and Sohee hugged before taking a seat next to Jay. “Wouldn’t expect any different from you.” Sunghoon said making you let out Shup up to him. You looked around and saw everyone there except for one person. “Where’s Jake?” you asked still looking around, failing to notice the exchange of looks between the four of them. “He’s- Well, he is with some guys from the soccer team, yeah.” Sungoon said, a nervous smile dancing on his lips, making you tilt your head at him “Weird.” you thought out loud. “But don’t worry!” Sunoo said, making you look at him “He’ll probably be here… soon.” “Okay?” you answered, looking at Sohee who was just as confused as you were. There was an unfamiliar tension in the booth and before you could think further about it Heeseung spoke up “No more talking. Let’s get the night started and get drinks!” Everyone got up, greedy to finally get some alcohol in their systems, maybe that’s what you needed. You reached the counter and Heeseung ordered tequila shots for everyone. The shots were gone as quickly as they came and everyone was thirsting for more so Sunghoon ordered six more of the same. 

You and Sohee made your way towards the dance floor full of sweating bodies. You were buzzing inside with the little alcohol in your system and the lights were making you dazed in the best way possible. It had been a long time since you and Sohee hung out like this and you were enjoying this just as much as she was. You had your arms thrown over her shoulders as she hugged your waist and you both swayed to whatever music was playing. The boys were looking at you with pure amusement on their faces, never having seen you like this but they were glad you were enjoying this night so far. Your body felt hot from the heat radiating from everyone around you. You saw couples kissing and grinding against each other and it made your mind wander to Jake and wonder if you and he were ever gonna dance like that like it was just the two of you in the room with no one to interrupt you both. You and your best friend went back to the counter to order drinks for yourselves while the boys went back to the booth.

“Can I get two Pink Whitneys with Sprite, please?” the bartender nodded at you before leaving to prepare the drinks. “Was wondering if you could still party, y/n” Sohee told you laughing. “Oh, shut up. It hasn’t been that long.” You both turned back to the counter when you heard the bartender speak. “For the pretty ladies.” He said putting the drinks in front of you, both of you mumbling Thanks in return. You closed your eyes as you savoured the drink you hadn’t tasted in a long time. “God, I forgot how much I love this.” You said taking a big sip of the pink drink. “Brings back old memories doesn’t it?” Sohee said leaning back as if she was having a flashback. Even though you were a stay-at-home person, back in the first years of college you went partying almost every night since Sohee was a social butterfly and always made sure to bring you along to whatever party she was invited to. Every time Heeseung would host a party, he made sure to have a hidden bottle of Pink Whitney in a small fridge that only he and the boys knew of for you and Sohee. You laughed at her as you tilted the cup towards her for a toast. “For old time’s sake.” She clinked her glass with yours “For old time’s sake!” she said before finishing her drink in one big gulp as she did the same. 

You two got up, making your way to the booth the guys were at. Your vision was starting to blur from all the drinks you had. Only had your low alcohol tolerance to blame. You were trying to walk through the crowd when you spotted a familiar brunette in the middle of it. “Look! Jake’s there, let’s say hi!” you said pushing Sohee towards his way. The grin you had on your face started to slowly fade as your steps got slower. The closer you got to Jake the stronger the pang in your chest grew. You squeezed Sohee’s hand trying to get her attention but she had already seen enough. You two stood there watching as a girl eagerly kissed Jake’s neck, his face was hidden since he was looking opposite from where you were. “Jake?” You felt a pull on your heartstrings and a whimper left your quivering lips when Jake turned his head to the side and made eye contact with you. His face wasn’t showing any emotions previously, quickly contorted with shock as a gasp left his lips, making him immediately push the girl away. Still, Sohee was quicker to pull you away from where you were standing. She was letting out some curses on her way to the booth, something that you couldn’t hear.

When you finally reached the other boys they all were looking at you with worried expressions. Their eyes flickered between each other and you were finally able to catch on what was happening when you arrived. “You guys knew?” you said with a choked sob. None of them were saying a word, making your blood boil when you got your answer. “You all fucking knew this whole time.” you screamed, pointing your finger at them accusingly. “How long has it been going on?” Jay was quick to speak up. “It was just today.” he started. “We didn’t know she was gonna be here and I don’t think Jake knew either.” You were starting to get even more confused “What do you mean she?” you asked shaking your head. They all looked at each other not knowing what to say. “Heeseung, did you know about this?” Sohee asked her boyfriend, and he quickly shook his head no. “No, i swear. None of us knew and as he said it was probably a not-so-pleasant surprise for Jake as well.” Knowing that everyone knew who she was and they weren’t explaining it to you was leaving you irritated and you just wanted to leave. “Sohee can we just go home.” you quietly asked and she ran a hand down your back in a soothing manner. “Yeah, give me your car keys, I’ll drive.” You both turned to leave, no words were exchanged apart from a Drive safely from Heeseung.

When you sat in your car you felt like something exploded inside you as you started sobbing uncontrollably. You hid your face in your hands as you started sobbing. Sohee reached for you, holding you in her embrace. “I don’t even know why I’m crying it’s not like we had something.” you said trying to wipe your tears but they just kept coming. “Y/n, it wouldn’t take a genius to see that something was going on between you two. I can’t honestly understand why Jake would be with someone else, especially her.” “Will anyone ever tell me who she is?” you said in an annoyed tone. Sohee sighed as she sat back in the driver’s seat. “That girl was Aerin. Jake and her were in a weird situationship, kind of friends with benefits but not quite that. They had that going on for almost a year but he eventually broke it off because he finally opened his eyes and realized how much of a bitch she was, even though we were warning him since the beginning.” she paused with a sigh. “She didn’t take it very well since she had always been possessive with him but we thought she finally had gotten over it, it’s been, like, a year and something?” she turned to look at you, seeing you with your head propped in your knees. She raised her hand to cup your cheek, brushing it softly with her thumb.

“I just don’t understand why he would do this, after all that we’ve been through.” You said feeling tears coming back, pooling in your eyes. “Sohee, I let all of my guard down for him, I told him my everything and this feels like history is repeating itself, you know?” You told her as memories from your history with your ex brought you a sour feeling “Y/n, whatever happened between you and Jeno is long behind, I thought we had already talked about this.” “I am over it, Sohee! But seeing Jake do this is just bringing all those feelings back. Six months right after I opened up to Jeno I find out he was cheating on me with the girl I shouldn’t worry about and now when I finally feel like I can commit to someone again, I see Jake like that, how is that fair to me?” you said turning into a sobbing mess again. Your whole body was shaking and Sohee felt her heart shatter seeing her best friend like this.

“Y/n, I know this really isn’t the right time to say this but I’ve known Jake for as long as I’ve been dating Heeseung and I can’t understand why he is doing this. This really isn’t like him, at all.” She rubbed your back “I’m more than sure he will explain himself to you soon. This just doesn't sit right with me.” You wiped your eyes as you sniffed “I don’t want to see him anytime soon, Sohee.” She smiled sadly at you. “I know, honey, But you know it will eventually happen right? It’s inevitable.” You nodded at her, knowing she was right. “Let’s go home yeah? You can stay at mine today. Don’t want you dealing with this alone.” 

Sohee drove off as you stared out the window. Millions of thoughts were running through your head and you felt like it was about to explode. Eventually, you fell asleep during the ride and only woke up when Sohee softly shook you when you arrived. You both entered her apartment, being immediately greeted by her cat who was rubbing herself in your legs. You crouched down to her level, rubbing behind her fluffy white ears, making her purr. Oh to be a cat. Sohee gave you one of her pyjamas for you to sleep in and some makeup wipes, knowing you probably wouldn’t even bother to take it off. You both slipped into her bed, sleeping together like you two would back in the day. You laid back against the headboard as she texted Heeseung to update him. Your own phone buzzed on the bedside table. You grabbed it and saw a notification that normally you would be excited to answer, but not today. You read the texts Jake had sent you.

jake <3: y/n please                                                   

jake <3: i know what it looks like but it isn’t like that 

jake <3: let me explain please                                     

jake <3: you know id never hurt you.                        

You dropped your phone in your lap as you rubbed your eyes with your hands, starting to sniff again. You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop the tears as you sighed and leaned back against the headboard. Sohee looked at your phone and then at you, making her sigh. “Where did i go wrong? I must’ve done something really bad in my past life to deserve this.” “Y/n, cut the nonsense, you don’t deserve this, ok?” she said grabbing your arms and turning to look at her. “You’re gonna get through this with me and when you’re ready you’re gonna go back to work and maybe talk with Jake, yeah?” You took a deep breath before nodding at her. “Good. Now you’re gonna rest and tomorrow we’ll see what’s gonna happen.” She grabbed your phone and turned it off, putting it on her bedside table. She turned the light off and you let your head fall into the pillow with a sigh. You stared at the ceiling, trying to shake off all the thoughts going through your head until you felt your eyes closing on their own.

The weekend had gone by slowly. You had texted your mom after everything happened to tell her you were gonna stay at Sohee’s for a few days. All you did was mop around the house and lay in your friend’s bed all day, only getting up when you really needed to. You were sure you were sleeping more than 12 hours a day and still felt like the energy was drowning out of you. Sohee tried to get you to go out and encourage you to go to work to help you forget things but the anxiety you felt at the possibility of encountering Jake was keeping you from doing so. You knew that staying home all day and doing nothing until Sohee came back from work wasn’t gonna help you in any way and you honestly wanted to do something about it but you had no energy to do anything. You walked to the kitchen for nth time that day, placing your cereal bowl on the sink with an accidental loud thud, making you hiss. You sighed as you looked at the mess of plates and cutlery you had accumulated in the sink within just a day. “God, what am I doing.” You said talking to yourself. You stared into nothingness as you got in deep thought. Being like this wasn’t gonna take you anywhere and avoiding situations where you might meet Jake won’t either. So, you made the final decision that you were going to work tomorrow, no matter what. You looked at the clock on the kitchen’s wall and saw it was already 6:30 pm, so without any more self pity you walked to the bathroom to take a shower, determined to get back to your usual work routine. You stared at your figure in the mirror and almost apologized to yourself as you took in your messy and unkempt appearance. You entered the shower and let the warm water fall on your tense shoulders. Sighing, you let your head lean into the shower wall as your body shook with a sob when Jake filled your mind again. Had he tried texting you anymore after that night? You couldn’t really know since you had blocked him on your social media. Was he hurting the way you did? What had really happened? Maybe you were overreacting all this. You should’ve let him explain himself. Dumb y/n, so dumb. 

Jake felt horrible. You really had to come near him at the wrong moment and see something that really wasn’t what it looked like. But he should’ve known the moment she texted him the night he was at your house she was serious. Why couldn’t Aerin just get over the fact they weren’t together anymore, as if they were ever actually together. In his head, it was starting to be too good to be true. As if he was ever gonna get lucky with someone like you. Of course, he had to fuck it up in any way. It’s all your fault, Jake. This was all you. Those words kept repeating themselves in his head as he laid in his bed as his whole body was filled with piercing anxiety. He didn’t know what else to do. He called Heeseung and said you still hadn’t gone to work that week.

The boys knew about the situation and Jake always tried to explain himself while he cried on the phone with any of the guys, even if they reassured him they believed him every day. He should’ve known better than to get involved with Aerin in the first place. He had always been warned about it so why did he still do it? Why couldn’t he just do anything right. The past few days were spent with Jake lying in his bed as he cried and cried for as long as he could. All the feelings he bottled up for so long left his body, making his whole self shake. When he finally was able to open up fully to you, he had it all taken away, knowing you had let your whole guard down for him. He knew you weren’t doing any better than him and that hurt him even more. Knowing he couldn’t be the one to hold you and comfort you was killing. Jake knew he couldn’t stay like this forever and all he wanted to do nothing more than reach out to you and tell you his truth but he knew he had to give you space. So he waits for as long as he needs to because he is not letting you go because of her, he wasn’t letting that happen.

You woke up at the same time as Sohee. The moment you opened your eyes you instantly felt a pang in your chest, knowing you had to go to work today. You threw your arm over your eyes as you sighed. Sohee looked at you as she rubbed her eyes to wake herself up. “Good morning.” she told you to which you only answered with a grumble making her chuckle at you. She got out of bed, opening her curtains, making you squint at the bright light invading the room. “C’mon, get up. You need to get ready.” You sighed again at her words before sitting up on the bed. After you both got ready for work, you sat down at the table as you had breakfast together. “So,” Sohee said mid-chew “are you ready for today?” You looked at her as you sipped on your coffee. “I mean, no. But as you said I can’t keep avoiding him and it’s better if we talk already than not.” You answered as your fork played with the blueberries on your plate. “You got this, yeah?” Sohee reached for your hand across the table. You inhaled as you felt your eyes water but you held yourself back. You nodded at her as you whispered a Yeah in response to her.

You left around 10 am which was the time Sohee usually left for work. As you made your way to the shop, anxiety started bubbling up in your chest, making you take deep breaths to try and keep yourself together. There’s nothing to worry about. If Jake ended up showing up at the shop you guys were just gonna talk, or maybe not. Maybe he will explain to you and assure you it was not what it looked like or maybe he wasn’t and it was exactly what it looked like. “Well, shit.” you said to yourself as you arrived at the shop. You parked your car, seeing everyone already there. You stepped out of the car, taking a deep breath of the fresh morning air breeze around you. You walked inside and there stood Heeseung and Sunghoon staring at you with warm smiles. “Hey guys!” you greeted. You walked towards them and Sunghoon pulled you into a hug, making you let out a shaky breath. “How’ve you been, dummy?” He asked, letting you go of his arms. “Well, y’know, not good. But! I’m here to change that and yes I’m going to avoid that conversation, if you don’t mind.” They nodded their heads at you, Right and Of course! were their only answers before you asked Heeseung if there was any work for you to which he assigned you to check a car’s engine and gasket. 

You got right to work and you were glad you could distract yourself for most of the time. The car needed to get his gasket changed and it wasn’t an easy task so you needed to have your full focus on it. Working made the day go by faster and you barely had time to lunch as you were so immersed in the task you were assigned to do. Sometimes Ni-ki would linger around you, mostly joking around as you worked, keeping you company, which you were glad he did. If anyone had told you you would’ve ended up getting a summer job at a mechanic shop and befriending the six workers you wouldn’t believe it. But you couldn’t be more glad that you did, you had quickly made six precious friendships with six boys who were all you could ask for in a friend. As someone who never found befriending people easy, you were quite proud of yourself as you had found six treasures in only a lifetime. You knew you could always rely on them, and despite the age gap between the two younger ones, you still would trust them with your life nonetheless.

You felt sweat dripping down your forehead as you worked, making you get up from your bent-over position to wipe the sweat with your forearm, adjusting the strap from your overall that was slipping off your shoulder. “God.” You sighed loudly. Heeseung slid from underneath a car to check on you, “Everything ok?” he asked sitting up. “I guess. Just this thing is harder than I thought it would be.” You said putting your hands on your hips as you stared at the engine in thought. You knew this was gonna be hard, but one wrong move you would need to do it all over. Heeseung got up and walked to where you stood staring at the car. “I think you’re going on the right path. Nothing is looking wrong or weird so keep going.” He said patting your back “You’re doing well, you always do.” You chuckled at his words “You flatter me, Lee.” He laughed at your words “All for the best of my wor-” 

His words were cut off by the roar of an engine. A familiar Ford Mustang pulled up in the driveway.  Your breath stopped for a while until you felt Heeseung get his hand off your back. “I think I should go somewhere else…” You nodded at him, fully understanding why he was doing it. You pretended to go back to work, trying to convince yourself that Jake wouldn’t come over to you if you did that. You heard footsteps getting closer to you and you felt your breath pick up its pace. You got this. “Hey…” You heard the deep yet soft voice say. You looked up to see Jake smiling softly at you and you almost teared up at that. You tried to reciprocate the smile but you were sure it came out shaky. “Hi, Jake.” You said nodding at him. Your gaze drifted from his figure, trying to look at anything but him, as you fiddled with your fingers. “Nice patch!” He said chuckling, making you blush as you stared at the Care Bears patch placed upon your knee. “There was ripped so my mom put it on for me.” You said still not looking at him, making him mutter a Cute under his breath, which you almost missed. “Why are you here?” You asked, looking at his face, but you knew damn well why he was here. Jake took a shaky breath in as he leaned against the wall behind him, his own gaze now avoiding yours.

“I guess- No, I know and I need to explain myself to you.” He started, gulping his anxiety away. “What you saw that night wasn’t something anyone would expect that would happen. I mean, I should’ve had to be honest. The night I went to have dinner with you and your mother I told you I had received a text from my father. Which isn’t a lie, because I did, but you also deserved to know that Aerin had also texted me.” His eyes finally met yours with an apologetic gaze. Your face was contorted in confusion and you waited for him to explain it further. “She somehow found out that you and I had been hanging out and that there was something between us and she texted me some nonsense about knowing I still wanted and was using you as a rebound.” You stared at the ground hearing those words. “Was I a rebound to you Jake?” You asked quietly “No!” He answered with no hesitation “Of course not! And I hope you never felt that way because all I did for you was genuine.” his hand twitched, Jake wanted to reach out to you but he knew he still had further explaining to do. “Going on. That night I was supposed to go out with guys from my soccer team as well as the guys here but Aerin somehow was involved with some of the guys in the team and joined as well. The moment you started approaching me she threw herself at me and started doing whatever she was doing and before I could react and push her away you had already seen it.” His voice became shaky as he played that moment back in his head. “And I would and never will blame you for reacting the way you did. If I was in that position I would do the same, most likely.” Tears started falling from your eyes as you heard him talk. 

Your chest was tight with guilt. You felt bad for what you did to him. He didn’t deserve to go through what you made him go through. You sniffed as you tried to wipe the stubborn tears that kept falling. Jake took a step closer to you, feeling his own eyes water at the sight of your miserable state. “Baby, please don’t cry.” The pet name left his lips before he could think about it but you didn’t seem to have heard it or mind it. “Jake I’m so sorry.” You said between hiccups of sobs “Please, please forgive me. I probably made you go through hell when you didn’t even do anything. I was so selfish.” Your cries got louder as you spoke and you didn’t even care if the boys could hear you. “Y/n, no! Stop apologizing. It was not your fault, ok? You aren’t the one to blame. You weren’t the one causing this, Aering was.” He said pulling you into his embrace. The knot on your chest broke as you finally felt his comforting touch and scent that you loved so much. “I would forgive you in a heartbeat if you had anything to apologize for, but you don't, you hear me?” You looked up at him, sniffling softly as you nodded at him. Jake cupped your face to wipe your tears as he smiled softly at you. “I’m sorry I made you go through all of this.” You saw the tears pooling in his eyes, making you cup his cheek.

“Are we ok now?” He asked, worry still lingering in his tone. You smiled widely at him as you furiously nodded your head “Yes! God, Jake, of course!” You said chuckling between sniffs. He laughed along with you as he stared into your eyes endearingly. Your breath calmed down as you both stared into each other eyes. None of you making a move to look away. Your eyes drifted from his eyes to his lips and you caught a glimpse of him doing the same. You don’t know who was the first to move but suddenly your lips were on his as you two share a long-awaited kiss. Your arms went around his neck as his hands were still cupping your cheeks. You leaned your head to the side to deepen the kiss. Jake let out a happy sigh into the kiss, making you smile against his lips. You both pulled away and you let your eyes look around the room to avoid his gaze. Jake laughed at you and you buried your face into his neck to hide the crimson red spreading on your cheeks. Jake pulled you off of him and held your hand as he started pushing you outside. “Let’s go.” He said nodding towards his car. “Jake I can’t I have to finish-” “Don’t worry about that. I’m pretty sure Heeseung won’t mind.” You were hesitant but still let him drag you to his car. “Ok- wait. Slow down, oh my God. Isn’t this kidnapping? Geez!” You said scowling lightly at him at the eagerness he was pushing you with. “Stop talking nonsense, silly.” 

The boys finally gathered around the entrance as they heard Jake’s car leave with you both inside it. “Well, it was kinda awkward.” Jungwon said breaking the silence. Sunoo rolled his eyes, slapping the boy's arm. “What? It’s true!” He said raising his hands in surrender. Silene took over again as everyone tried to process what had just happened. “If all it takes to leave work early is to argue with my girlfriend then I’m down.” “Ni-ki, shut the fuck up.”

You were anxious for today. Even though Jake has been countless times at your house and had dinner with your parents just as much, you’ve never been at his house, let alone met his parents. But it would change today, Jake had called you today, inviting you to have dinner with his parents at his house. As much as you wanted to refuse, you knew you couldn’t, you couldn’t delay this moment any longer, sooner or later it was gonna happen and it was happening today. You didn’t know how to really feel about it. From what Jake told you, you knew his dad wasn’t the best person but you didn’t know much about his mom. You felt anxiety creeping up your body as you got ready for the night. You tried to look the most presentable you could for Jake’s parents, not wanting to leave a bad first impression.

Your phone buzzed in your bed, you picked it up and saw Jake’s text telling you he was outside. You looked at your reflection one last time before grabbing your purse and leaving. When you got outside you were met with the breathtaking sight of Jake leaning against his car, looking like he just came from a cliché teenage movie. His skin was glowing with the bright sunshine, complementing his skin colour to perfection. His full black outfit was hugging in all the right places, making him look like a runway model. Jake noticed your staring, making him laugh silently. “You know you can take a closer look, right?” His words made you roll your eyes, despite feeling your cheeks grow hot. “You’re so cocky, Jake.” You said as you walked towards him, stopping in front of him as you leaned in for a peck. Jake hummed against your lips, holding your face to kiss you deeper. You tapped his cheek and pulled away, eyeing him with a warning stare. “We have places to be, young man.” Jake sighed at your words and you both got in the car. 

Throughout the car ride, Jake noticed your fidgeting hands and he knew you were nervous. He put his hand on top of yours, still looking at the road ahead of him. “There’s nothing to be worried about, y/n” He said in a quiet voice, making you look at him at the sudden words. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, looking back to the road. “I know. It’s just- I don’t even know why I’m nervous.” You answered chuckling humorlessly. Jake gave your hand a squeeze, giving you a silent reassurance. “I know that from what I say about my dad he sounds scary but he can be nice sometimes and I’m sure he will be pretty okay with you, so don’t think too much about it, yeah? Besides my mom’s gonna be there so it won’t be as bad.” You nodded and smiled at him, leaning on the center console to peck his cheek, making him smile.

Soon enough, you both reached his parent’s house. You felt your heart starting to race as soon as you stepped out of the car. Jake walked beside you, grabbing your hand, holding it tightly against his. Something in him was telling you he was nervous as well and it made you look at him with worried eyes. You both stopped at the front door, looking at each other. Jake smiled at you, nodding his head towards the door, making you take a deep breath as you nodded back at him. He rang the doorbell, the sound echoing in the loud silence as you both waited impatiently.

The door finally opened, revealing a beautiful woman. She didn’t look any older than 45, her skin was smooth with barely any wrinkles adorning it, only faint ones that marked her joyful smile. Her hair had a chestnut tone to it and the perfectly styled curls reached her shoulders. “Jake, my love.” She said as she pulled the said man into her embrace. “I’ve missed you so much!” Jake smiled as he looked at her with a grin. “Missed you too, mom.” He said lovingly pecking her forehead. “Oh, goodness. You must be y/n, I’m Sooyoung! So glad to meet you dear!” She said pulling you in a hug, making you smile at her as you felt the nerves slowly leaving your body. “Yes, I am! It’s so nice to finally meet you!” You told her, as she held your hands in her’s. “You know, Jake sounded so excited to finally introduce you to us, he would always talk about you when he called.” You heard Jake groan beside you. “Mom!” “What? I’m just saying!” She said laughing at his son “Anyways, come inside. Dinner is almost ready!” She leads you both inside the house. “Do you need help with anything?” You asked her “Oh no, dear! Don’t worry, everything’s almost done. You both wait in the leaving room while I finish it.” 

Jake took you to the living room, where his father sat on the couch as he watched whatever news channel was playing. He cleared his throat, making his father loom at you both. “Hey, dad. This is y/n, my girlfriend.” Jake said introducing you to the older man. “Hi, sir. It’s nice to meet you!” You said bowing slightly at him, wiping your sweaty hands in the back of your pants. Jake’s father got up, walking towards the both of you. His straight lips formed a slight smile as he pulled you into a hug, making you let out a surprised sound. “It’s nice to see the girl my son can’t shut up about. Can’t say I’m not surprised to see my son could keep up with a girl like you.” You felt shy at his words, not really knowing what to say. “Ah, I’m sure it’s not like that.” You said rubbing your arm anxiously. He then walked to Jake, shaking hands with his son, giving him a tight-lipped smile. “Hope you’ve been behaving well, son.” He said patting his son’s head. “Dad..” Jake said rolling his eyes. The three of you sat on the couch, Jake's dad’s eyes were on the TV but his focus was somewhere else.

“So,” He started. “Where did you two meet?” He asked, turning to look at you two. You looked at Jake and then at his father “We met at my workplace.” You said nodding at him. “You work?” He asked curiously. “Well, it’s a summer job, but yeah I do. Been there for about two and half months maybe?” You smiled at him, rubbing your hands back in forth on your thighs as you tried to ease the nerves. He hummed “And what do you do, may I ask?” “Dad, it’s enough questions.” Jake said but you stopped “It’s okay, Jake.” You said smiling at him. “I’m working at a mechanic shop, which I know it’s not usual as a summer job, but I enjoy it a lot.” His dad opened his mouth to speak but before he could do so, Sooyoung called everyone to the table.

You were all sat at the table peacefully, immersed in a casual conversation. “We should totally book a dinner with your parents y/n, Jake talks about how nice they are when he stays at your house. “ Jake’s mother suggested. “Yeah, I think that would be really nice. They would love it!” You told her, smiling at her as you went back to eating. You noticed Jake had been quiet most of the night, only talking when you were the topic of the conversation. It made you worried that he was behaving this way. You noticed the way his hands were trembling and you wanted nothing more than to comfort him right there and then. You put your utensils down when you finished the meal and one of your hands went to his tigh to rub it in a comforting manner. Jake’s movements faltered when he felt it. His free hand went down to where your hand was placed in his thigh and squeezed it in appreciation. You interlocked your fingers with his and his thumb started rubbing the back of your hand. Jake felt his heart warming up at your actions, looking at you as you spoke with his mother. He smiled, looking down at his empty plate as he tried to hide it.

Jake’s mom got up and walked towards the fridge. “If everyone’s finished, I made dessert!” She said as she put a homemade ice cream bowl on the table. She sat back down and the conversation went on. “y/n I almost forgot to ask! What are you studying?” Sooyung asked as she looked at you. her elbow propped on the table. “Oh, I’m majoring in computer science actually!” You answered with a smile. “I actually share a few classes with Jake.” You said looking at him with a smile, seeing him already looking at you. “Oh really! What a coincidence, isn’t it!” His mother beamed at you. Jake’s father scoffed beside his mother making you snap your head in his direction. “I’m surprised he actually attends classes.” He said looking down at his desert. Jake’s hand tightened almost painfully in your grip.

The tension in the room was thick and if you wanted you could cut it with a knife. Jake’s mother scolded him silently for speaking about it when you were present, but the man couldn’t care less. “Soccer, soccer, soccer. It’s all that goes through that head of his.” He said, finally looking up at his son, who stared at him with a stoic expression. “I work hard every day to give him a stable future and yet he doesn’t even think about pursuing that.” He said with an expression that could be read as disappointment. “Look at his brother. Working a high-paying job, a stable one, and yet, you can’t take it as an example to look up to. Do you really think soccer’s gonna take you anywhere in life?” He asked but he wasn’t really looking for an answer. Your heart felt like it could jump out of your chest with how quick it was beating. Jake’s face was emotionless but his hands were shaking as the force of his own father’s words hit him like rocks. It hurt you to see him take all this and you just couldn’t keep yourself quiet any longer

“You know,” You started “Jake’s really good at what he does best, even if it’s at soccer.” You gulped your nerves down as you continued. “If there’s something my parents never did was interfere in my future. They never once told me I should follow this or that, never. Because nothing was more important than them seeing me do something that makes me happy. If soccer is what he loves doing, then why not let him do that? I don’t know a thing about soccer or sports but if he’s known in almost every national university’s soccer team then he must be damn good at what he does. So why not support him in that? Even if it goes bad for him, which I must say I doubt, he’s going to graduate so there’s always a plan b. Have you ever considered your son’s happiness? I genuinely don’t intend to be disrespectful to you or your company, but is your business more important than your son? You have a son working in that field so why not make him take over it instead of Jake, who clearly doesn’t want to do it?”

You looked at Jake, seeing him look at you with tears pooling in his eyes, making your own eyes water. “Jake deserves nothing but to be happy. If you only could see how much he’s done then maybe you would love him a bit more.” You got up from your chair, the scraping sound made you slightly hiss. Jake understood what you were doing and did the same. “I’m so sorry about this, but I just can’t stand you seeing talk so low of your son. I hope you can reflect a little bit. Again, I’m sorry.” You turned to leave, Jake following behind you.

When the front door shut close, Jake instantly broke down, throwing himself in your embrace. His body shook with broken cries, making you screw your eyes shut as you tried to stop your tears. You held him tightly, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “It’s alright now.” you said in a whisper, your hand coming up to tangle itself in his hair. When his cries died out Jake pulled out of your arms, looking at you. His hands cradled your face, as his eyes scanned your features. He smiled at you, making you mirror his expression. He leaned down as he pecked your lips and your hands came up to hold his that were holding your face. “I’m sorry for, you know, causing all that. I just couldn’t not do anything.” You said looking down. “Hey, don’t apologize. Thank you for that, really.” he said letting out a breath. “It’s better you saying that than me having another screaming match with my father.” He smiled sadly.

“I didn’t know you liked me that much, though.” He joked trying to lighten the mood. “Oh, c’mon Jake, seriously.” You said groaning at him, feeling your cheeks heat up. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” He said laughing. “Y’know, I like you that much too.” You felt shy under his gaze, suddenly not able to look in his eyes. “Do you really?” You asked as you kicked tiny rocks on the floor. “Yes, silly. Of course I do…” Jake tensed “Even more than liking, actually.” You looked up at him when he said that, seeing him biting his lips nervously. “What?” You asked, surprised as you felt your heart race. “I- sorry I shouldn’t-” “Jake.” You cut him off, laughing at him. He stared at you wide-eyed, his cheeks flushed and his ears red.

You threw your arms over his shoulder, making a slight force to pull him closer. You smiled up at him. “I love you.” Jake almost choked in his own spit, not expecting to hear those words coming out of your mouth. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to say something. He took a deep breath and put his hands on your waist, suddenly feeling like he was in high school again, about to have his first kiss. He leaned in to kiss you, moving his head to the side to deepen it. Both of your lips moving on their own as you shared a passionate kiss. Jake pulled away before he could go further, his forehead resting against yours as he giggled, making you laugh at his behaviour. “I love you too princess.” He finally said, “So much.” He pecked your lips again, and again, and again until you pushed his chest as you laughed at him. He grinned at you, as he grabbed your hand in his. “Let’s go?” He asked and you nodded at him. You both got in the car, ready to go home as some soft tunes played from to radio.

Jake had been trying to make his house a home for a long time, but maybe home was where you were.

[gladiatorcunt]

- FEARS TO FATHOM | XIV.

i can thrill you more than any ghoul would ever dare try

cw: kinktober prompt (roleplay), fem reader, early criminal minds, background hotch x reader x spencer (age gap, reader and spencer in their early-mid 20’s), knifeplay, degradation, murder fantasies, necrophilia fantasies, snuff films mention, blood play mentions, part of the roleplay is that hotch is your daddy (open to interpretation on the exact meaning), one mention of sadomasochism, knife (handle) fucking, dead dove do not eat, under negotiated kink but hints of you and spencer being secretly disturbed freaks, spencer referred to as ghostface for most of the fic, one face slap, fantasy fulfillment (bc spencer is a soft dom TO ME), off screen recording

please do not repost, translate, or feed this work to ai

kinktober 2024

“Spence, come on, I’m gonna fall asleep by the time you get ready.” You shout at the closed bathroom door, if only to stave off your own nerves and lingering excitement.

The beginning of October was a snooze fest, you, Spencer, and Aaron had so much work, back to back cases that ran longer than anyone thought. Elle couldn’t stop ranting to you, and you to her, about how fucking aggravating things have been. None of you could even afford to make lazy plans for Halloween, the office already minimally decorated with tiny plastic pumpkins and purple-green-orange streamers here and there.

Until the angels granted you mercy, Aaron bargained some time off for the rest of the team in exchange for him spending hours eye level deep in paperwork.

You and Spencer each gave him a brisk but heartfelt thank you kiss before you headed home, to the house owned by a man who wouldn’t be accompanying his partners tonight.

Spencer calls back to you in between awkward bangs of his knees against the wall, shuffling his work clothes off and getting into the costume. “Just a second, you’d think you’d appreciate the lenghts i’m willing to go for you.”

You definitely do when after some more bumbling about he comes out in the ghostface costume, his gangly body in the long black fabric, holding the mask in his hand. Because of course you can’t do a more normal boss and secretary type situation, no, you have to have your boyfriend dress up like a horror movie serial killer, one of your favorites, and act like he’s gonna do the same to you.

You also wanted to see Spencer let go a little bit, be darker in ways your toes curl thinking about, Aaron was the one that bought the costume anyway. You were too shy to do anything beyond mentioning off handedly that it would be hot, and Spencer wanted you to squirm.

“Aaron waited 45 minutes for the employees at Spirit Halloween to find one in the back because they were sold out. The least we do is put it to good use since we’ll be working on the actual day.”

Your cold feet turn freezing, “This is so stupid and weird, we can just lie when he comes back and say we used it-”

Now here you are, breath caught in your chest as you gaze up at the handsome looming figure, Spencer huffs out a laugh at your shyness and flicks the hood up. He puts the mask on and fastens it around his head, now nothing but his gait and his voice signify the man behind the mask being your boyfriend. You can almost see his amused small smile, the knife he swiped from the kitchen block taps a tune along your jawbone, humming a note on every point of contact.

Your eyes flutter shut, setting the scene and dimming the lights, a cold and black gloved hand shoves you back onto the bed, pushing you right into the deep end.

“Please, I- I’ll do anything, I don’t wanna die, sir.” Your voice actually cracks on the tail end of your sentence, putting your all in your amateur-porn-without-a-camera performance.

“Shh.” Ghostface whispers but it’s jagged with long held back arousal, “You’re not going to die yet if you give me something for my trouble. You let me waltz right in just because Daddy’s not home, and now I'm supposed to pass up a pretty little lying whore like you?”

You whimper, “I’m not a whore, I just- He doesn’t have to know, please, I’ll do whatever you want, I swear.”

“Oh so you admit you were lying to him? How do you think he’s gonna feel when he comes home to see his precious baby’s guts spilled all over the bed she wanted her secret boyfriend to fuck her in. You were so giggly when you told me it was his.” He cocks his head to the side, teeth no doubt gleaming white under the mask. “What’s wrong, sugarplum? Not so proud of being a slut anymore?”

“Spread your legs, I have the perfect game in mind. Your pussy can’t lie like your mouth can, and I have just the thing she wants.”

You tremble, letting tears gather in your eyes so you really look afraid for your life. You sink into the mattress, your upper inner thighs glisten with your juices, already wet and he hasn’t thrust his knife inside of you let alone his cock. Your head says you should just lie there and feel the overhead fan blow gently on your exposed pussy but your clit wants to scream at Ghostface to go in blade first.

“See, look.” He taunts, parting your folds with the chilly tip of his knife, “She’s co cute, glistening and puffy, she’d look so good being fucked on the hilt of my knife, don’t you think?”

It’s not quite what you want but you nod, letting your legs go lax so he can get a proper look at your juicy cunt. He hums in approval, the soft sound raises your hackles and causes the hairs on the back of your neck to stand up.

He slaps the tip of the blade against your clit, and it’s the miracle that you weren’t cut that has you pleading up at him with your eyes. To pretty please at least thrust the hilt in so you can feel like you’re getting stabbed on something, Ghostface tilts his head again, his long body bending to the side, considering giving you what you want.

But wasn’t the point of this whole charade to turn you into a whiny bitch who’d risk her life for a serial killer’s knife, lusting after it possibly more than his actual cock?

“Oh, fine. I guess we’d better be quick if we don’t want your daddy to drop in on us too soon, I'd hate to have to gut him too, baby.” There’s a false hint of concern, you can picture a slight pout under the mask, his fingers tighten around the handle.

You eagerly scramble back on the bed, and Ghostface follows after you. His knees sink into the mattress on either side of your hips, one gloved hand shooting out to steady himself by your head and the other keeping a firm grip on his knife. He makes sure you can always see it, not because you actually need a reminder of the threat your (and your daddy’s by association) life is in, but because it entices you into being good.

Not that he’d mind a brat, but he doesn’t have the time today to break you apart piece by piece. He waves the knife in front of you, dangling a carrot in front of his dumb bunny, and reaches down under his cloak to unbuckle his belt.

“Aw, you perked up as soon as I started fiddling with my belt buckle, huh buttercup? Don’t get too excited, that little heart might burst and we haven’t even been able to watch any scary movies together yet.” Ghostface teases, shuffling back so his pants can fall to the floor.

You weren’t touching yet, but you still whine. His eyes must be crinkling under the mask because he giggles and climbs back up your body to hover above your face. He boops the tip of your nose with his knife, the edge gently scrapes against your chubby cheek and your jawline as he drags it along the contours of your face. Mapping it out so he knows which cuts to make without making you too ugly, as long as your holes can tighten enough to hug something, he doesn’t mind.

“Are you scared? Aw, I hope so, it’s only gonna make you tighter, you might even bleed without me having to give you a single cut.” He laughs when you pout at that, dragging the tip of his blade under your shirt before cutting it off and doing the same to your bra, a lacey thing you may or may not have bought specifically for this occasion. Blood red and now in tatters on your daddy’s bedroom floor, hopefully you can pick it up later before he comes home if you’re still alive.

“Mmh, don’t hurt me, please, I’m doing what you want aren’t I? I’m being good for you, that’s all I want, just wanna be good for you so fuckin’ bad.” You plead, gasping as he cuts away your mini skirt too.

And you do, it’s why you want your boyfriend to let go and carve you up as if all you’re good for is to be a monument to how much you adore him. You love him like this, slipping into the role of a guiltless killer who just might snuff the life out of you no matter how stellar your pussy game is, and you’ll love him afterwards when he needs round 3 (because you want one round with him in your pussy and one in your ass) to be gentle and sweet, his hung skinny boy cock stealing the breath out of you even when his strokes are languid and honey fueled.

“I know you do, I wouldn’t be giving you a chance to live otherwise, you whore. You’re just a sweet girl who got tripped up as soon as it was looking like you were gonna get dick, right? Doesn’t matter what happens after, don’t sweat it, you’re gonna get everything you want.”

You mewl, and your eyes flutter shut as he pushes your clothes off of your body. His knife’s blade shocks you a little when he drags it along your skin, making a path towards your dripping pussy. Your clit throbs in anticipation, Ghostface’s cloak shifts as his shoulders slightly shake from laughter.

“Greedy girl, I'm gonna put it in okay? Feel free to cry and scream all you want, I'd prefer it actually.” Is all the warning you get before he positions the black knife handle in front of your pussy, and starts pushing it in.

You whine at the stretch, and he doesn’t give you any time to adjust beyond that, slamming it in until the blade is just outside your hole. He grunts in pain, wrapping his hand around the sharp edges, his gloves are too thick for his skin to be sliced through, but you notice his cock twitch under his cloak.

You gush around the hilt of the knife, feeling too dizzy to look down at where it disappears into your body. It doesn’t do anything but split you in two, there’s no special spot it hits and the smooth bumpy ridges are too slight to provide any stimulation. It’s the brutality of the act that turns you on, a masked man looming above you as he plunges his knife into you, stabbing you from the inside.

The blade makes itself known every so often, poking your folds, imitations of sharp pecks as Ghostface thrusts the hilt inside your sopping wet pussy. The mess on your daddy’s sheets takes on more fluid, growing into a small puddle, you’re so embarrassed and your heart is beating faster than a hummingbirds as you stare up into the eyes of his mask. Black sinkholes surrounded by bright white, elongated and macabre, you clench around the handle. This could be the last sight you ever see, a ghostly specter getting off on desecrating your body and settling you on fire with your own shame.

You drool at his long fingers, curled so tightly around the blade, he must be in tremendous pain. Your clit jumps, listening for muffled pained groans held behind clenched teeth. It’s not your own suffering that gets you going apparently, this deranged man’s desperation to make you cum from being hurt that he ends up getting off on hurting himself is all you care about. Your daddy would forgive you, you just couldn’t help sniffing after a big soon to be bloody cock, maybe if you’re left alone afterwards he can put you back together. Kiss your wounds and gently guide you through a soft orgasm, a pink frothy ring permanently tied around the base of his cock.

“Is this knife a good enough dildo for you?” Ghostface sneers, he can tell that you’ve started to drift off, getting so caught up in the moment you can’t even be present enough to ride it out. “This pussy’s so tight I can't fit anymore of it in, guess you’ve been a good whore, I’m sorry I can't cut up your insides, carve them up like my special little pumpkin. Round and sweet and so fucking easy to squash into gooey pulp.”

You whimper and rock your hips down, desperate for the blade to somehow slip inside and absolutely mess you up. You want to bleed out around his cock and stare up into the eyes of his mask as you shatter around him, sharing the experience of cumming together while the light leaves your eyes. You don’t even know what he’d do, if he’d pull out right away and leave a sea of blood and other bodily fluids surrounding your corpse, if he’d snap a pic or two before sauntering right out the front door, whistling an old timey love song as he runs through his options for what to watch when he gets home.

Or maybe he’d stay, jostle his softening cock inside of you, softly bouncing your cooling body until it becomes too stiff. If he’d tear up just a little behind the mask and brush the gaping long oval shaped mouth over the lips on your face, your first kiss, only in death. He’d die someday and pull you down to hell so he can tell you his name and do this all over again, kissing the sweat off your philtrum and huffing the sulfur and brimstone from your bush.

“That’s it, clench on my knife handle, I know that’s what you’re after, but you’re still drooling… don’t tell me you want my cock now? We were just getting started…”

“I- I want your cock, so bad please, I wanna cum on it, wanna make you feel so good you’ll come back to finish me off later.” You beg and play with your tits, rolling your nipples in between your fingers so you’ll be even wetter.

You want it to be amazing for him, to be enveloped in so much liquid he’d only have to close his eyes and imagine it was your blood. You hear a groan coming from above you and you smile, “It’ll be so good, you can keep pretending you’ve killed me so we can do this again and again and again and again. I can be your perfect murder victim, a toy that never breaks for good, your cumsock. Please, Mr. Ghostface, we can even make a movie together if you want.”

Amateur porn, snuff, erotic-sleazy-trashy slasher gore porn, cheap horror, you’d do it all.

“God, you really are such a freaking freak. I thought I told you I wouldn't make a decision until I've ruined every one of your holes for anybody else. I guess this can be your audition, you wanna be my little star so bad then you can prove that you can handle what that’s really gonna be like. Gonna rough you up and leave you scraped raw, bully this pussy with my dick and choke you out when it’s time for bed.”

Your clit throbs painfully, and you almost cum on the now uncomfortable chafing material of his knife’s handle when he abruptly yanks it out, leaving your hole hungry and empty. More wetness dribbles out, some of it falling right on the black hilt and into the grooves, staining it in a way, you hope he sniffs it and jerks off while he kills some less lucky girl later.

He drops the knife right by your hip, and you wince as it knicks you. Ghostface braces himself on either side of your head and reaches down to ruck up his cloak, clumsily unbuttoning his pants with one hand and freeing his rock hard cock. You don’t get to marvel at it, to live with the knowledge that you know what the infamous serial killer terrorizing your town’s penis looks like. He doesn’t allow you any prep time now either, you’re not empty for long before he’s impatiently thrusting his bare cock in your puffy pussy.

It makes the most sickening squelch when his balls swing to hit your ass, like an organ you forgot existed just burst.

He gets so excited that he smacks you clean across the face, panting like a rabid dog mounting his prey.

“Fuck, virgins have the best pussies. Does this hurt, my fat fucking dick breaking you down into nothing? You look like you’re gonna cry, baby, it’s okay. You’ll like it soon, or not, this isn’t about what you want anyway, right? This is what you wanted, opening the door for a stranger only to get destroyed by his raw cock in your daddy’s bed.”

You’re still reeling from the slap but you have enough sense to nod, sobbing as his thrusts become harsher, sending you up the bed and spreading the burn of his length forcing itself to fit all throughout your abused body.

The smell of sex is going to take forever to come out, seeping through the walls and into the foundations of the house, an invisible scarlet letter for his future starlet.

Spencer’s phone beeps hours later, once, then twice, then a few more times before it falls silent.

I let you play without me this one time, don’t forget that.

Make sure to bring her room temperature water. Cold water gives her headaches. Two painkillers, not four unless she asks, she gets dizzy otherwise.

Take a shower if you’re feeling up to it, she’ll get fussy if she’s sticky and you’ll get fussy if she’s fussy.

Send me the video, last one on this floor of the bulding by now. Gideon went home an hour ago. I want pictures of you in the costume too.

Love you both, I’ll do my best to be home sometime tomorrow. No cockwarming if she’s too fucked out, just slip a plug in. You know her favorites, don’t get smug if she picks the pink heart shaped one again.

[tarjapearce]

Pls pls pls pls I need you to write a ranchero Miguel fic inspired by this pic

If requests are open of course 😇 I love this au

Maybe Miguel's and Cerecita first kiss? 👀

Even though the barn he had been living for the past months, was conditioned enough for him to live comfortably, Miguel didn't waste time to make the place a bit of his own. After all, the least he deserved was to relax after a long day of work around.

He had found a bathtub, A bit of algae setting on the bottom, still wrapped in plastic, never used or installed even though it had some rusting spots here and there thanks to moist exposure.

He installed it and took a week to renovate it and clean it thoroughly. And what a better way to use it for the first time than after a long and stressing day. Agustín had another regression and had nearly injured Joaquín, your father's horse. He knew he just needed some patience, Agustín was a good horse.

A stallion that had gone through alot. Of course it wasn't going to be simple to trust that easily for him.

Miguel removed his hat, silky, dark chocolate strands slicked back, body slick and shiny from the sweat, he removed his boots and clothes, to then wrap a towel around his narrow waist. He examined himself in the foggy mirror, a subtle stubble creeping up his cheeks and chin.

But he would tend to it later, water was too nice to not seize it. Luckly enough the tub was big enough for him, so he could stretch and enjoy the soothing warmth permeating his sore muscles for a long time.

He closed his eyes, and the first thing that came to his mind was you. It was like a second nature for him to keep you on his thoughts. But today seemed ultra special for his sight. You had just returned from church, dressed up like a lovely doll. Knee high lenght skirt, low heels, and button shirt that surely made an effort to keep your breast in place

It didn't help that it was windy and you had to constantly secure the ruffle of the skirt to not let the wind to go all Marilyn Monroe on you. But universe seemed to have taken a like to him, and gifted him with little moments that only he had the pleasure to witness. Like the way your skirt had levitated upwards due the sudden current of air.

His eyes captured the lacy navy blue panties snug to your body, a little whale tail dressing a plump and supple pair of cheeks. His lips were licked at the sight. Blue was definitely your color. And it looked even better when it was accompanied with lace.

He bit his lip with a smirk at the memory. But before his mind wandered into something deeper and borderline forbidden, he finished bathing then he stood up, and got out the tub. Cold water running through the ripples of his muscles.

He dried with the previous towel, he smoothed some rebellious curls off his forehead back, and returned to the mirror.

"Miguel?" Your sweet voice snapped him out of his grooming ritual as you called him again.

"Yes, Señorita?" He stood before you, skin moist and shiny, and a hidden smile behind his lips.

Your eyes casted down, noticing the happy trail that hovered above the snug towel. Your cheeks grew warmer when a smug smile stretched on his lips

"U-Uhm. Papá wants to know if Joaquín is alright."

"He is, yeah. Don't worry on him. Just a little scratch"

you nodded with a sheepish smile.

"Are you alright?"

"Hm?" His head tilted, the muscles in his neck moved, you couldn't help but stare at the movement.

"Agustín can be quite... Rough. But I know he is a good horse."

"Don't worry your pretty head over it, cariño. I know what I am doing."

"I didn't mean it that way. I... I know you are more than capable of doing such things."

Miguel's smile only widened as he looked at you. Despite your clothes being different, you still remained so delectable to his sight. Temptation itself. It was kind of ironic for him, super conservative parents had created a daughter that surely would make any man deep in faith to sin by just looking.

A punishment for their attitude, perhaps. Not that he was complaining, at all.

"How about you?"

"Oh?"

His question made your gaze to connect with his.

"Are you alright? You look flustered, Señorita."

He adored the way the blush in your cheeks deepened.

"Should I get dressed?"

"No. I'm... Im. leaving anyways. I apologize for..."

His muscles flexed and it was unavoidable for you to stare. Inwardly marveling at his physique.

"Never seen a naked man before?"

"My goodness. I... I apologize"

"Nothing to be ashamed of, chula. It's just a body. A tool."

"Right... Uhm..."

"Wanna touch?"

He knew he was playing dangerous games, but the way you stared at him, made him feel worshipped. He stepped closer and your breath caught in your throat as warm and firm muscles were felt under the pads of your dainty fingertips.

His big hand guided yours as he pulled you closer, bit by bit. Your hands kept feeling him, roaming up his torso, fingers hovering at the base of his neck. You couldn't reach further. But it wasn't necessary. Strong and calloused hands explored your skin, a whimper that was was enough indicator for him to lean down and kiss you.

Plump lips guided yours as one of his hands cradled your head, keeping you in place as his mouth kept tasting and devouring yours.

You tasted as he had imagined. So so sweet and delicious. His tongue pried your mouth open, and you groaned as he slid it inside and toyed with yours. Your body was dipped back, deepening the kiss as you gave shaky and breathless moans.

His hands hooked underneath your glutes and made your legs wrap around his waist before making you seat in one of the piled up haystacks. His fingers slid around your hips and squeezed a handful of your rear. Your moan died in his mouth.

Your lips glistened once he separated from yours after giving a gentle peck on your soft and pouty ones. He then smiled.

"Another one, Señorita?"

You nodded immediately, but before he went at it, your name was called by one of the staff members.

"See you tomorrow?" He bit your bottom lip softly, and smiled tenderly at your affirmation. He then helped you off the haystack.

"Goodnight, preciosa."

He disappeared into his room as you left for yours. His taste lingering in your now hungry mouth.

[frownyalfred]

tl;dr: what's your opinion on posting roleplay replies on ao3?

i know they are frowned upon on ao3, at least that's what i've seen so far, which i can understand... to some extend. they are allowed in the archive, yes, but they also clock tags and it's annoying to read something you don't understand without the other replies and further context. they are tolerated, but i get the sentiment.

here's the thing... i rarely write for myself. i enjoy writing with others and building something together, and sometimes i create pieces i'd love to share. like, recently i have written a reply for someone that explores two different bruce's; one that has helena wayne/the huntress as his biological daughter, one that doesn't, how she got cursed into another universe, and how one deals with losing his child, while the other tries to re-order his life in order to make her fit. it's something beautiful that works on it's own, something i am very fond and proud of, but i'm torn on wether i should post it or not.

i could've kept the fact it's from roleplay a secret, but that also feels shit, lmao. i could keep it to tumblr, but no one would read what i put out -- let's be real, tumblr works very different compared to ao3. so i thought i'd give reaching out to one of my favorite authors a chance.

sorry for the lenght, feel no need to answer.

Hmm. I guess I haven't given it a ton of thought before now. I don't usually engage in roleplay myself, but I absolutely view it as a legitimate version of creation. Just because it's created a certain way doesn't mean it doesn't belong on ao3 -- it's an archive for transformative works, not just cookie-cutter fic formats.

I would say, err on the side of caution and tag as much as you're comfortable (tagging things after the required ao3 warnings is always optional, I want to reiterate, but sometimes additional tags help readers a lot). Make sure it's clear what the structure of the work is, if possible, but don't do yourself a disservice by making roleplay a dirty word, if you use it.

I don't think you're "clogging" up the tag, any more than the person writing 139/250 50 word individual fics haha. There will always be floods of content in various tags, and people who throw shitfits about that need to grow up. Unless someone is breaking the ao3 TOS, everything else is "etiquette" and that truly is nebulous and subjective, even if people will insist it isn't.

As for the missing context and replies -- I think that's something you can get creative with, if you want. But also, if you never fill in those blanks or provide that context, that's okay too. It's an archive, not a site where you have to actively promote your fic and make it the most appealing it can be to the largest group of people.

A final note on context though: I've found that the roleplay chunks I do come across in the wild look a lot like dialogue planning I do for some fics! If you ever want to turn them into a traditional fic structure, I don't think you're very far off at all. But only if you wanted! As I said above, I think what you have is 100% legitimate and should stand on its own on ao3.

[mcytmusicalbingo]

Welcome to the MCYT Musical Bingo Event!

What is the MCYT Musical Bingo?

The MCYT Musical Bingo is a fan content creation event focused around Minecraft content creators, SMPs and music! You will be able to suggest up to three songs to fill out a playlist that will then be divided into different boards. When the event starts, you can choose one board (or attempt all of them, I won’t tell you what to do!) and get creating!

The idea is to find a way to implement the songs in your board into your works. You can do so by using the title, lyrics, motif, symbolism, themes… Anything works! The main goal is to get blackout, of course, but it is not necessary. Take it at your own pace and enjoy!

Fan Work Limits

For fanfics, each 1k word fic can include up to three squares from your bingo card. Less than 1k works can only be based around 1 song (so yeah, drabbles are allowed!) You can’t do more than 3 songs per work, so take that into account when planning your fics!

For art, you can claim up to 5 squares per finished piece. This means that you must make each piece to a state where you would consider finished and ready to post!

For web weaving, you can claim up to 3 songs per web weave. Each web weave must include at least 10 elements.

For cosplay, you can claim up to 3 songs per video, including between 10 and 15 seconds minimum of each song. If you do only one song the video has to be the minimum lenght of a tiktok.

Unfortunately no playlists allowed for this one! The point of this event is to make other art forms based on music, so playlists won’t be allowed as submission for this event.

If you want to try a “non-traditional” art form for the event, shoot me an ask and I’ll figure out an equivalent for you!

You CAN do more than one type of fanwork, so feel free to mix and match in order to get bingo and blackout on the board!

The Boards

The boards are out! Find them here! Posting starts on August 1st!

Rules

Read them here!

Timeline

You can find it here!

Mod Applications

Here | Open until June 16th!

Interest Check

Here | Closed

Music Submission

Here | Open until June 26th

[theoneandonlysemla]

WIP Wednesday (It's Thursday because I had to think about what to post)

Tagged by: @skyrim-forever @elavoria & @thequeenofthewinter

Tagging: @did3lphis @dirty-bosmer @ladytanithia @tiredela @vanilleeistee

@firefly-factory and anyone else I have forgotten to tag or who just wants to do this! (I have to make a list of people to tag, I guess.)

Sooo... I've finished chapter 18 of DwD on Sunday and have already shared a part of that chapter as a WIP. With paintings, I have not done much more than you've already seen, as I've been so damn tired all week. Just doing the good (/s) ol' eat, sleep, work, repeat. (I hate that.🙃)

And so I had to think about what to post! And there is something that counts as a WIP I guess. @skyrim-forever already knows about the things that I'm cooking up! 👀

Anyway, first of all I plan to do another short smut of Ancano and Faralda, this time the concept is to torture Ancano as much as possible. ❤️ (Love the working title "Drunk Bitch Ancano" for it, lol.) Like degrade him as he deserves (and turns out, the man likes it!) I have a lot of notes on that by now; many, many ideas to be mean to that man. It will be a pleasure for Faralda! The second thing I've been planning out for so long now. I want to write a Mannimarco-fic! Planning on around ten chapters with a total lenght around 50k words. Working titel is also hilarious right now: "Mannimarco does necromancer shit". The plot has been plotted, it is gruesome, it is terrible and it might need a "probably necrophilia"-tag. It will be nasty and what I'm planning right now more and more evolves into full blown horror. Well, what else to do with the King of Worms? 😁 It will be set after Manni's exile and him settling down on mainland Tamriel. I' not sure yet, but I may diverge from the lore a little, just to make this fit the plot in my head. Anyway, prepare for necromancy. Currently I'm fleshing out the OC I'll be torturing using for the story. Her name is Ria (short for Riana), a Bosmer from Cyrodiil. She wanted to become a mage and is a rather good alchemist, but her education was disrupted by [fill with traumatic past event]. The relationship between her and Manni will be so fun to write! Because if you know me, I love to write a manipulative ass (looking at you, Ancano!) And I'll delve into full on cult leader behaviour here, at least that's the plan.

So, uhm, these are my WIPs for the week, I guess? I hope to come around to write these two soon and of course then share my WIPs with you! :)

[philaet0s]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written then pass it on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self love ❤

Ehe thanks for that! I wouldn't know who to send it to and I get embarrased about asks so let's say I'm sending it to anyone who wants to do it lol

Now my 5 fav fics I've written...

The first one is, UNDOUBTEDLY,

1. Live and Die For Moments That We Stole 

My baby (literally, it took me 9 months to write it), my masterpiece. I love what I've done with this fic, I love the characters and the trajectories their lives take, I'm really, truly satisfied with this fic. Which is rare. Obviously if I rewrote it now I might change a few scenes, but as a whole, I love the fic and I'm very proud of it. It was a huge challenge because of the time period I set it in and because of the sheer lenght of that fic, but I did, I wrote it :)

2. Second Chance

I have a weird emotional attachement to this fic, I couldn't explain why but I reread it so often (because yes, I reread my own stuff, what's the point of writing stories I want to read if I don't read them?), and it always puts me in a good mood. I love the idea of a second chance, and of characters GROWING as people before they get that second chance

3. Woundrous and Mystical

I have to put it in the top three. Before I wrote Live and Die it was my favourite fic of mine, I'm just so proud of that story. Baz is my favourite character in this universe and the way that his trauma -psychological and physical- from the coffin is dealt with in canon is something that genuinely upsets me so for the longest time I wanted to write my own version of that, a version of the story where Baz gets to be affected by the fact that he was, you know, locked in a dark box for weeks without food. That story is very dear to me because of that, because it's centered around Baz and his trauma, but also because when I look at my fics as a whole, it's really with this one that I started to get a sense of how I wanted to write the characters and their relationships. The most striking example of that is Niall, the way I wrote Niall in Wondrous and Mystical is the way I've been writing Niall in my other fics since (except Live and Die, funnily enough), like Woundrous and Mystical really shaped my writing

4. The Ephemeral Nature of Flowers

Probably the fic of mine I've reread the most after Second Chance. I just love the vibes of that fic, I like the bittersweet ending, and I especially love the idea that a strong connection can be born in a very short time. Not in a 'love at first sight' kind of way because I don't really like that trope but in a 'we've had one real conversation and I feel like you and I connect in a very special way' kind of way

5. Thirteen Days to Fall in Love With Your Worst Enemy 

That fic was soooo much fun to write. Putting our Simon with a Baz that considers him their best friend, and our Baz with a Simon that considers him his best friend + non!binary Baz my beloved <3

Simon getting to see Baz for the person that he truly is and not this evil mastermind he imagines him to be is always my favourite thing to write in fics where they start out disliking each other, and this fic is literally just that, so

[spnrareshipbang]

“He Was a Boy And She Was a Girl (Can I Make It Any More Obvious?)”

Author: ophelia_yvette (@lucasbarr)

Artist: CeNedraRiva (@cenedrariva)

Beta(s): @reelnaturalfreak

Rating: Teen & Up

Featured Relationship(s): Cassie Robinson/Dean Winchester

Featured characters: Dean Winchester, Cassie Robinson, Original Female Character

Lenght: 12459

Warnings: None

Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Alternate Season/Series 06 Established Cassie Robinson/Dean Winchester

Summary:  Dean got out of the life because that was Sam’s dying wish. However, he didn’t go find Lisa like Sam had expected. Instead, Dean looked for the one woman who had ever truly understood him. And got a lot more than he’d bargained for, not that he’d have it any other way.

A year later, Dean has settled into living a normal life—or at least keeping up the appearance anyway. However, when the supernatural starts creeping back in, he’ll have to choose the life he’s always wanted or the one he never thought he’d leave. And there’s a whole lot more at stake than simply leaving a girl in the rear view this time.

Link to Fic / Link to Art

[greypetrel]

Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @melisusthewee, and at least another person. I'm sorry if I ignored the tag, I was away and it's a busy period, let me know ;_;

Tagging forward: @ndostairlyrium @shivunin @inquisimer and YOU who are reading and would like to do it!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 12, right now.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 497,183 ... I'm chatty.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age, and a crossover with LOTR/The Silmarillion.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Home Was Never on the Ground (long fic, concluded, it's anthological and mainly me filling blanks in DAI as inspiration stroke)

She of Many Names (ongoing, a LOTR/Dragon Age crossover. A follower on Instagram asked me if Aisling was Sauron, the idea made me laugh so much that my mind took fire.)

Saturday Prompts (a collection of prompts I posted here. I never uploaded every one of them, oops)

Death and All of Its Friends (ongoing, a DA2 collection)

The Night Before First Day (Two chapters, concluded. One it's in rhyme and illustrated. Aisling taught her daughter that the Dreadwolf is Santa out of spite. Solas tries to disapprove.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I do love angst, but I don't like angsty endings all that much ahahahahah. I think the one that gets closer, in a bitter-sweet way, is One for the Road. Call me a sucker for rare-pairs, this was also prompted here and my brain took fire (LavellanxFenris)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? The Night Before First Day. Listen I'm not a Christmas person, I turn into a seasonal depressed Grinch at Christmas, living in a catholic country doesn't help, and that is my way of giving myself some joy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not that I know of.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not any that I publish.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Yes I do. She of Many Names is a Dragon Age and LOTR crossover. I love it dearly, I'm slow to update it because I have the greatest love for Tolkien (with all his flaws, but my brain rewired when I saw the first movie, and the book has been my entire personality for two years. I wouldn't be the same person without it) and I do care of rendering it as I want.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? ... Not that I know of? I hope not, ahahahah :"D

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? If you consider that English is not my first language, all my fics are translated? xD Other than that, no.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I'd love to.

14. What's your all time favorite ship? EowynxFaramir, hands down. Out of pure lenght. Maybe LeiaxHan Solo (my parents are both nerds, I think my mom made me watch Star Wars the first time... I don't remember, the vhs were always around in the house. I was very, very little.)(we don't talk about the sequel trilogy.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I tried to write a third chapter for the aforementioned One for the Road... But it ends up in a love triangle and I don't like love triangles that aren't a poly relationship. So, it's sitting in my folder and I'll never finish it. I was considering ditching the second chapter and rewrite it as a "Aisling as a companion in DA2" fic... But MEH.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think dialogue. I am trained as a comic artist, which means that the writing parts that get polished are dialogue. I have much more experience with that. ... I am also terrible at judging my own work in a positive way, tho, so you tell me.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? English not being my first language and leading to mis-spellings. Other than that... I started writing fanfiction after YEARS of not writing anything in prose that wasn't screenplays for comics (which follows different rules). Since I stopped because of being hurt by it, I went on to it by not planning stuff.

I'm rusty with prose, and my retelling -the first thing I tackled- clearly had little planning ahead.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? It's a no, for me, unless you specifically wants your audience not to understand what's being said and create a sense of isolation and of not knowing what's going on. A sentence here and there with a translation is fine. But if it's something long... You want the reader to understand well. Italicized text it is.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I wouldn't call it a fandom, but: Greek Mythology. I drew a parody comic of the Iliad in my first high school year, alongside friends. It had been so fun. I also wrote, still in high school, something heavily inspired by Eragon, which only my friends had the pleasure of reading. (I'm only saying it involved my now most hated trope: THE SECRET TWIN.)

20. Favorite fic you've written? The next one.

I'm very invested in Ashes and Sparks, aka the Dreadwolf AU. I'm putting ideas in it and going fully canon divergent and writing it as I would like Inquisition to have gone. No Corypheus, more crazy tevinters, and the focus ON FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.

In a modern setting because yes.

It's also tackling something I absolutely hate in fiction when it's done wrongly, which is time travel, and I'm sweating and hoping I'll do it with logic. It's something niche and not so focused on a single ship, so probably it'll interest only me, but I'm happily writing and trying to contain myself from posting chapters of more than 10k.

Blank Form Under the Cut

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favorite fic you've written?

[cosmicjoke]

I know you don't have time for her, 7m7n7, and nor should you because she is literally a weirdo but I wanted you to know that there was a thread on Twitter exposing her once more and it got a lot of traction. She's been sending people death threats. Telling them she hopes they die like Erwin died and she has also been sending a lot of hate on ao3, as well as pretending to be different people on multiple accounts till she was found out. Even prentending to be a shipper and causing discourse. Her main on Twitter is @v_onth. I really advice ignoring her. There's literally no lenghts she wouldn't go.

Here's the tweet exposing her if you care to check: https://x.com/krtkjkr/status/1779875138609074430?t=KZb42HPX4iYdtd2JrQfbxg&s=19

Jeez, that seriously doesn't surprise me. Thanks for letting me know. I hope this and my post at least helps to expose her somewhat and serves to guard people against her and her insanity. I'll definitely check the tweet out, and I hope others on here do so as well. I should have blocked her ass weeks ago when I first got the notion to. I appreciate you linking me this and letting me know more. I've seen lots of those guest comments left on eruri fics on a03 too, and I suspected it might be her, too, but I had no proof. But the language is the same. These person is a stain on both the Levi fandom and the eruri community. Absolutely disgusting.

[plasticfangtastic]

Dairy Girl-- Part 3

A Homelander x F!Reader fic

A/N: 1more part to go, I've be going on a 4 day trip on wed so I should post the final part next wk, thanks everybody for reading here is part 2 (there's a link for part 1 there)

Synopsis: In order to provide a constant supply of fresh breastmilk for Vought’s number one hero, Vought has had to get quite nifty in order to prevent this secret desire out the press and the public– you have unfortunately discovered the truth.

tags: child death mention, depressive, dark, kidnapping, stocklhom syndrome, HL tw.

word count: 4.4K

Part 3-- Fields

Months.

You’ve been here for months.

You aren’t quite certain of the timeframe but you kept track of the full moon, how often things faded and re-emerged, you’re sure half a year of your life has vanished slower than ever before, for weeks you find yourself holding on, now you aren’t sure why? This body of yours grows heavier around his arms as you sat there in that massive corner booth listening, as he squeezed your jacket as if to remind you he had a hold on you… or to make sure you were okay, you hoped.

Several months have passed and you can’t help but wonder how you ended up in this Chinese restaurant having dinner with your captor.

Homelander’s visitation continued to be more sporadic, your time seems of less importance these days, you find yourself painfully alone, no matter how pretty the tapestry, how interesting the films have become, how delicious the food is or how the forced expansion of your music taste as they feed you an eclectic collection from japanese city pop to medieval folk rock albums changed the fact that you were alone. It had been endless weeks since you last saw a human being beside Homelander.

You stared at that steel door, its presence tempting you, mocking you, insulting you.

You pressed aimlessly at the panel hoping it would break or force somebody to emerge to tell you off– just the sound of a live human would be enough to fill this emptiness inside you even if it was for a short burst. The library elevator had been locked and no amount of pulling would get it to break, your voice, your sole company, birds would come and sing ‘hello’ but as pretty as they were they flew away at the sight of you.

Everything was perpetually quiet.

At least when the sun still lingered.

At night you couldn’t even sleep this awfulness off, your brain trapped you in a different nightmare.

The only time when this house wasn’t submerged in silence was in your slumber.

Ghost lived here you’ve come to accept.

“Every night I have the same nightmares” you spoke to a squirrel one morning

Cries of a baby you can never find, as you wake up, dazed and exhausted you hear the faintest cry and all your mind has tried to do these past few weeks and months have been to move on but ghostly cries forever remind you of the emptiness left in your arms, ghost hoping to crush everything within you, but when the sun is out you tell yourself that your baby boy is gone, you accept it. 

Every night before bed you recite a fresh mantra ‘you’re okay now, that in the future perhaps you could finally become a mother, that the embers still burn inside you, your love is there but is not wrong to move on’ but your nightmares won’t let you move on from a pain you couldn’t forget.

You pray to whatever god you believed, or used to believe for dreamless slumber, each night the thought of sleep frightens you, making you wish for death for it was kinder.

The only peaceful slumber comes with a blond catch.

In your arms he’s both small and larger than life, light and heavy, his lips pursed on your sensitive skin, his quiet moans and mewls send shivers down your spine yet bring you an animalistic primal comfort that tap in a primitive part of your motherly brain, his scent fades and returns the next time reeking of oatmeal and chamomile, as your nose sinks on his hair and he wraps his naked hand around your waist itching to crawl higher, to hold your breast much like a real baby would you forget he is grown, picking his fingers and letting them hang on your own, in this times were you drift away from boredom– you sleep peacefully. Wondering if there was safety in this? The world’s most powerful man held against your bosom, nothing could hurt you here– not even the nightmares. Afraid of him you supposed.

Homelander looks up with glassed eyes, licking his lips as he pops your nipple out his mouth, blissed out, so happy it colors you with envy– that’s the only smile you know it's 100% genuine, you seen all his earlier movies it certainly been refined but his smile is disturbingly faux… convincingly sold, nevertheless as he nuzzles you and giggles softly into your chest that you learn what his truly looked like.

When was the last time you smiled like that? You wondered.

You hand caressed his face cleaning a loose drop off his chin.

“You want me to stay tonite?”

It’s been almost 2 weeks since he stayed more than a couple hours, you don’t know what to say, he still fills you with fear but as the afternoon glow colors the tapestry and the night creeps closer and closer you want that safety… just one night without nightmares.

“Please stay…”

Homelander smiles and squeezes your sides, forcing you into a hug, he begins talking and is not a conversation you can follow or wished to but is music nowadays– the sound of another person, it's the sweetest music you’d ever listened to, searing banalities into your eardrums, but its sweet… something to make you forget that by morning he’d be gone and you be left alone with nothing but ghosts and thoughts.

“Can we switch positions?” Your arm has grown numb under him.

He grumbles pouting like a child, but he’s happy to oblige, the TV plays quietly in the background you’re unsure how much longer the tape has, but he stares at you as he sits straight waiting for further instruction, while you fix the pillows.

“I just want to be the little spoon…”

Homelander eyes light up–literally. It doesn’t last long and his lips curl dropping on the bed with eager eyes, your grimace is internal but you crawl into padded arms.

“Promise me you won’t leave in the middle of the night…” you say so quietly, he stares at those pretty eyes of yours and those thick dark circles under your eyes allowing himself to caress your cheek– until morning…”

“Ryan is off on a camping trip with one of his buddies… I can stay the whole weekend.”

“Weekend?”

“It’s friday, Y/N.” He says as if that was obvious.

Your eyes open so wide it hurts your face, but you nod furiously, a part of you dies, whatever self-respect you had is fading as the only thought consuming you is that for at least 2 days you’ll have company.

“I’m surprised you let him go”

“I have a few men watching him from a distance, and I can fly and check up on him at any point” he says through gritted teeth.

“It’s nice that you trust him. Must make him feel like a big kid… My parents never let me do such things…”

“Why not?” He asks, watching you with genuine surprise as your body loses resistance, sinking into him.

“They worried too much… always sheltering me… watching over me…” You missed them, you missed a world of people, now those obnoxious actions of the past warm your heart but you don’t let it be seen– He’s lucky to have you.”

You stayed in his arms until the credits finished rolling.

“Kill the feed!” Homelander shouts startlingly you stiff, he waits in silence grinding his teeth, jumping out of the bed almsot throwing you off the mattress, once his cape unfastened he turns back to you– what? you think i'm gonna lay down all night in this?”

You just watched him as he moved around your room entering your closet as you shook off the scare, and procuring an oversized t-shirt grumbling to himself about ordering some loungewear, you watched him undress with your heart creeping up your throat, squeezing the duvet as your worst nightmares tease an entrance to reality, with each thud of his suit and clanking of gold your heart rate doubled in speed, he who had very much avoided touching most of you, could very much do so and you’d be powerless to stop him, he turns around throwing you a look of disbelief making you wonder if ‘mind-reading’ was a unpublicized skill of his.

Without his suit… he seemed more human than he had any right to be, his bright orange undies peeking under the old t-shirt with a pulled neck allowing you to see a handful of chest hairs creeping up, Homelander left you in the room heading out, his eyes examining that all cameras were in fact turn off and so were the microphones, stopping by a tacky painting of kittens in the hallway, tapping on the thick frame carefully.

“I was thinking I should have this place redecorated” He said loudly, his hand stroking the frame– bring it into the 21st century… What do you like– farmhouse chic… art deco? Altho your house was a mix-match of things.”

You jumped off the bed and followed him keeping distance as you tried to suppress your trembling hands.

“You’ve been to my house?”

“I was curious about you… you’ve been here 5 months and the doctors are surprised you haven’t… lost your mind.” He turns to you– altho you’ve been playing the music twice as loud as before”

“Is lonely in here…” You look away trying to figure out the best words you ought to say– you haven’t visited me in weeks”

“I told you. I’m busy– I have a movie… we are doing some re-shoots… the studio feels like they need a new direction and we needed a new post-credit scene so it ties up with The Deep’s next film and–” he bites his tongue– I should call… I’ll have a phone installed… but what can I do to make your stay here less lonesome.``

“Keep me company… at least downstairs I could see the other girls…” You look down– are they okay?”

“That whole thing has been shut down. No need for it to continue if I have you.” 

He didn’t expect to see that beam of light in your eyes, but then those lips of yours straightened for something sinister came into your mind.

“What happened to them?” Faces that were still fresh in your mind spoil– are they okay?”

“Who knows…” he shrugs with genuine indifference– oh don’t make that look! I didn’t make the order, I simply told them to close shop… I can find out if you want.”

Staring into his eyes for what could’ve been an eternity but you never answered, which seemed to please him, he stretched his hand asking for yours and in that darkened hallway he seemed to be its only shadow, you obeyed afraid of displeasing him punished with abandonment for another endless loop, his fingers are always so warm and soft around yours. 

“You don’t sleep very much do you? I used to sleep a lot when they left me alone… which wasn’t often” He squeezes your hand pulling you closer– you can talk to me, Y/N. I want to know…”

“You’ve been to my home… you should know why I don’t sleep much…” 

“I can’t… imagine what you’ve been thru… If I lost Ryan–”

“I accepted it. I think it just wasn’t my time or his time…” You cut him off– I don’t know ‘bout God’s plan or nuthin but I just accepted that maybe one day it be for me but not yet.”

Homelander gave you a half moon, glad to see how strong you’ve been, glad to know you could withstand his abuse… you continued to be a challenge.

That night you both laid in bed, cradling him in your arms watching him mumble loudly in his sleep, his eyes shifting wildly, you watch him fight in his nightmare as you thought of your own… of those women and the bottles, how your signatured had doomed them, you bit your lips and watched him until exhaustion ate you up.

Waking up with a kiss from the sun without ever experiencing a single nightmare, not even their faces haunt your sleep.

It made you ill to be so relieved.

He kept you company, watching movies and eating popcorn, lounging around forcing you to read books to him, you thought that this would all you two would do-- just lounge around and pretend you weren’t growing bored.

“Wanna go out for dinner?” 

Your ears perked up.

“I’ll go and tell them to get us some clothes, and we can go have dinner.”

“You mean outside?”

“Of course silly… you’ve been good, I think you deserve it.” He jumps off the couch, heading towards the metal door dragging his feet– you like chinese. I saw you had lots of take-out menus.”

“I would love to” You ran after him, hugging him– can we get Ice-cream too… afterwards?”

“I could always go for a milkshake.” He kissed your cheek– be a good girl and go get ready would ya?”

He faded into the other side, hearing those metal doors slide open filled you with joy, you had your chance, you were good, you did all that Homelander wanted of you, you listened to his endless ramblings and you gave him what he stole you for without complaint, and now he rewarded you, the gods had finally heard you.

This was your chance.

You would run to the cops, you would hide in the sewers, you would run until your feet were stumps if you had to but you would get out of here, away from him, away from his dollhouse.

You were so focused you didn't even register his sudden kiss until you started to undress in the bathroom, you touched your cheek wondering about why he'd done so.

You did as you were told and as your hair dried he came back bearing clothes from this century entering the bedroom as you stood covered with nothing but a towel, he came in an orange t-shirt and a navy jacket his sight on your face as if he had manners. It took you a few seconds to realize these were your clothes, washed and ironed, he threw them in the bed lingering for a few seconds before returning you some privacy.

“You look good” You smile feeling weird in your own clothes, nothing but a band t-shirt and your best jeans, he handed you a jacket that was definitely not yours but a matching one to his own– they told me there’s this bar you liked quite a bit”

“The Loose End?” you smiled, they knew you there, the bartender knew you by name, the regular waitress Liz knew you too, if he took you there you could find a way out– they’re cheap and the nachos are great… and they have live music every weekend.”

“It’s a date then.” 

For the first time you crossed those steel doors, those wall held a boring room, a set of desk littered here and there alongside filing cabinets, a young man in a lab coat handed Homelander something while you looked around everywhere this whole setup was nothing but a repurposed kitchen, a storage close, and the entry hall, two large windows let the light in allowing you to see the driveway, and more evergreen forest, there were no houses just road and bushes indeed this location was as desolated as initially suspected. Leaving through the front door you spotted a pair of bikes parked on the side, while the garage was closed. A random man dragged a trolley filled with peonies, your feet were trembling as you stepped on that welcome mat, the air was so chilly against your skin, so refreshing on cracking lips.

Grass… trees… clouds… nowhere to run, you looked at the bikes but never did you look for their keys five seconds ago.

“Are we getting an Uber?” You looked at him.

He took you by the waist, not giving you an answer before jumping straight into the heavens, there was a town to the east, a highway near it, before your words could leave your body, he pressed your face against his shoulder, it's a whistling sound singing in your ear as an insanely heavy weighted blanket slammed against you, this song kept playing cut abruptly by honking, your feet hit the ground and you could’ve sworn you’ve died he lets go of your head messin with your hair as you parted from this tight embrace, looking bemused.

“Am I alive?”

“There’s not a safer vehicle in the world than me.” He chuckles– you’re fine.”

Blinking hard you looked around and immediately recognized the street peeking from the end of the alleyway, your old apartment was 20 minutes from this place, you started moving without him.

Your neck snapped back as he took your arm, forcing you still.

“The restaurant is that way.”

He held your arm so tight your fingers tingle from numbness, interlocking elbows as he forced you into the street, to passerbys you were just another nameless couple, nobody gave you guys a second look, the afternoon light was beginning to fade behind tall buildings, you look at strangers pleading for them to notice something was off only to meet discomfort and indifference, people minded their business and in the busy street you two failed to stand out, you knew every street and in your silence you hoped to see familiar faces but nothing but strangers surrounded you both.

Both stopping at the entrance of a chinese restaurant, you’re sure you’d ordered from here before, the place is loud and there’s a TV set on the sports channel, it smells of fried rice and oil and you can hear the cook shouting in cantonese, he never lets you speak and the waitress is too busy talking to her coworker to care just telling you to sit anywhere you like.

He sits you in a booth on the corner away from the window almost hidden but able to see a good chunk of the people, the tv plays in the back but you can’t see it, your face is obscured by a beam, the more you look at the decour it strikes you as cheap and busy, lights dim and there wasn’t many people inside no doubt he picked this place for a reason.

“I feel like egg rolls and sweet and sour pork… you want noodles or rice?”

“Rice… with chicken… and…” You glance at the menu– scallion pancakes…”

Time moves like a dream, you count the exits, the number of waitresses, you hear the phone used for take-out orders but from your spot you can’t see the phone, you see the paper sign saying ‘toilet’ which could lead to an unseen exit, maybe into the kitchen, but as the entree arrived you knew you couldn’t run to your old home, you could run to the nearest metro station take the train anywhere, the direction made no difference you just had to find a cop… anything to save you.

As you force yourself to chew it dawns on you how Homelander has not spoken, turning to see him and he has a dry smile in his lips, his sight focused on the table on the furthest end of the room, the party grew louder you assumed they caught his attention annoyed by their presence or something in that vein.

Dishware clank and people spoke and baseball played but his attention was on them alone, you swore you could’ve run and he wouldn’t notice.

“Are you okay?” You spoke with the meekest tone you could muster– is there something wrong with the food?”

He scoots in his seat moving closer to the edge of table, this boot could’ve sat a party of five with ease so he left you with a lot of space and for a moment you felt as if he was about to just walk out but instead he looked at the empty spot then jerked his head towards the direction of the party.

“Is there a friend of yours there…?” You try to remain bubbly, finding his demeanor uneasy.

Following him you take his former spot but he doesn’t leave the boot, and then you see it.

The big thing he was staring at.

She was so thin that it looked bigger than it should, she was a tiny frail thing and the bump protruded out of her stomach violently. She sat back down, her grin so big and her laugh so chirpy as she rejoined the group.

The group too engrossed in each other to notice… to notice the crying woman on the other side of the dimly lit restaurant.

He seemed the same, his hair was the same, his beard was the same, his shirt was the one you bought him last christmas and he looked… happy… happy as he kissed this woman you’ve never seen, holding her hand, caressing her stomach, she didn’t need a name for you to despise what she meant, there it was your ex-husband who shouted at you about not being ready to be a father, your ex who showed up late to the funeral and didn’t stick around to comfort you, who never made it to the hospital visits more than twice, here he was happy.

Looking at a young thing carrying the baby he did want.

Just like he never looked at you.

“Am so happy you’re having a little girl!” The older woman who sat across from him said– after everything that happened I'm just elated for you Eric.”

You heard your mother’s voice with so much clarity.

“After Y/N I never thought I would find somebody but I think she would’ve been happy for us. I’m just glad you guys are doing okay after everything…”

“It’s hard but you are still family and we can be happy for you and your sweet little girl”

You watched him comfort your mother, the way he talked about you as if he meant it.

When did he ever mean it? Did he find remorse in his heart after you were gone or was it to brush away the accusations.

‘Who would you run to?’ that voice in your head asked, your family was right there, your dad, your mom, a mutual friend of you both, your ex– they were all there but they didn’t see you, the more you focused on their words, the way they mentioned your name as if it made them feel icky.

“I was thinking of naming her after Y/N, I know she meant a lot to Eric and had we not met at that support group–

You ran off the booth, rushing to the bathroom, you’re sure somebody looked at you as the plates rattled, Homelander gave you a glance but didn’t follow you.

Slamming the door behind you, in that ugly cramped bathroom you screamed into your knees, every fiber of your body recoiled, tightening around your chest, you stayed there until your own sobs hurt your throat and your eyes itched from salt.

Staring at your swollen eyes and red nose you washed away what you could, nausea still lingered robbing you off your appetite.

The door opened and there was no red, white and blue suited supe, just a hall with faded pictures and a storage closet, walking not knowing what to find, not wanting to be seen.

He was still in the booth, happily waiting on you with a bag of leftovers propped on the table.

“Let’s go home…” You whispered, your throat hoarse.

“Home? Where is that?” he grins

“Home… take me home… please…”

He stares at the party who are now sharing their final drinks and readying to leave.

You sit on the edge pushing him into the booth, forcing him to pay attention to you and not those behind, maybe it was because he was Homelander that you kissed him, that you had the attention of a more enviable man than Eric ever was that you kissed him in front of him  and your family, maybe it was because it felt good, his thin lips soft and delicate against yours, it was  quick thing, his shock was palpable in the nervousness of his kiss was cute, but it felt good… for once something felt good again.

“Let’s go Homelander… I don’t wanna be here anymore…”

His lips pressed against your cheek before lifting himself, making sure to cover your sight as you both left the building turning away from the window as the party began to gather their things, he stopped for a second after walking for a few minutes.

“I just need to text Ashley something before I forget… work stuff” You didn’t care.

He typed slowly with his index instead of his thumbs which made you cringe a little.

“All good. You sure you don’t wanna go watch a gig, we don’t have to go back home.” He said softly.

“My tits hurt.” His eyes light up at the lie– unless you wanna have a sippy in the toilets before the show stars to help me out here”

“... I… I do…” 

If he blushed any harder he’d be a stop light, you smiled unable to stop chuckling at his stupid face.

“Didn’t peg you for the kind of guy to get freaky in the bathroom of a dingy bar… guess America’s son does have a real kinky side to him.”

“You have no idea darling… do you have a kinky side perhaps?”

“Fuck me.” Her stomach popped into your head, his hand caressing her bulge played on loop, his disgusting smile, all of him played all around you, memories of his touch burnt your skin, everybody had his disgusting mug on their faces– and find out.”

He took your hand and started walking faster, throwing away the bag of takeout into the lap of the first homeless person he’d seen.

The woman looked at Eric as he said goodbye to your parents, her phone buzzed, turning around to hide her screen, a text message from with a receipt for 25,000 dollars deposited on her account, as well as a doctor’s appointment booking.

She signed with relief.

“Understood.” she texted back.

[crplpunkklavier]

no more big ideas for a really long fic then? or at least for now? I love love loooove your writing I’d hope once your time frees up after your thesis you’ll find something to pick up..

:x

👉👈

look.

have i already mapped out the next klapollo longfic where the main plot point is me humiliating kristoph gavin because comedy comes in threes?

yes.

(not sure how long it's really gonna be, but then again i also thought dig enough graves was gonna be 10 chapters max and now look at us)

am i also slowly coming to enjoy the idea of turning the klavier von karma au into a larger project potentially spanning multiple fics of varying lenghts?

yeah.

i'll........ yeah. i will have to actively keep myself from picking up too much before my thesis is done, lmao. i will also sign up for this year's klapollo minibang again and get a oneshot out there, too. u will be seeing me around!

and thank you!! <3

[f1-disaster-bi]

Shifters au, I wish to see it as long as possible, perhaps few long chapters? I have seen so much headcanons I thought it's gonna be full fic instead of long shot because so many opportunities for plot and then lenght. I just wish to see lot of Lando angst and hurt/comfort

It's definetly going to be a long one! If it is an all in one, it'll be a big one because there is a lot to cover!

However, there are going to be other parts ro this series because @f1-birb and I have planned out multiple stories and scenarios and different angsty plot points that will be there own fics!

The one I'm currently writing is the first installment in the series, and is going to tackle Pierre trying to figure out who the little fox he keeps seeing is while slowly getting closer to Lando 👀

But there are other fics planned and discussed like:

Angst to do with Mclaren and Lando

Lando and the pack angst.

Various little sweet and funny drabbles/oneshots

You will definetly get a lot of angst! Don't you worry about that, you have me and Birb working on this series which means it's going to be at least 80% angst 👀

[mikwaa]

Pairing: Zhonglix f! Reader

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, graphic descriptions of blood and violence, enemies to friends to lovers.

Lenght- 4,041

Here is the masterlist of this series!

This fic is also posted on Ao3!

I kindly thank you for every like, reblogs and replies. Thank you very much!

The day had dawned and you were with Bosacius and Xiao talking about everything that had happened recently, your trip, and the strange behavior of the Adepti. Including Morax, and you began to ask them if they knew anything.

"But did you guys hear anything important?" You question, but you doubted that they had heard anything really relevant. Adepti in general were too cautious to let classified information leak out.

"Not really, at least I couldn't understand much. But I can tell you that it's not good.” Bosacius replies half thoughtfully, that was the mood ever since you arrived.

"I don't know anything either, but what about you?" Xiao returns the question to you.

"Not really, Morax didn't say anything specific. But from what little it sounds like they are working something out. I remember that when Morax decided to live as a mortal it was the same way, I wonder what it is this time." Xiao muttered something low that you didn't hear, while Bosacius seemed to be lost in his own thoughts.

"In any case we should be at their orders whenever they need us. That's what we're here for, after all." You couldn't say he was wrong, because he wasn't. You just remained silent. Just like Xiao, who even if he didn't say anything you knew would be ready if you needed him.

"Actually I was genuinely missing it." Bosacius says, out of the blue.

"What? Going out fighting here and there? You always did like that adrenaline rush." Of course it would be good for him, he had spent a long time in a vegetative state. So now he wanted to get back to normal activities.

With a laugh he nodded to you, and the sparkle in his eyes was noticeable, if there was one thing he liked it was the battlefield. Soon there was a silence, and with that Bosacius said he had something to talk to you about.

"What is it? Are you feeling something?" You look at him worriedly.

"No, it's nothing like that. I just wanted to talk to you about Morax." Seriously he was talking, which made you think that something bad had happened.

"Since I've been back you've been giving me strange looks. Is it something to do with that?" You murmured quietly, fearfully.

"I realize that you and Morax are close, not that that's a bad thing, though. I just wanted to remind you that he is our master, all we owe him is respect. Regardless of what happens." Bosacius wasn't just telling you, he was demanding.

With a frown you retorted, "Why are you telling me this all of a sudden? You know I've been trying very hard to keep a friendly relationship with him, it's not up to me."

"I know, still. You just have to maintain that kind of relationship with him, that's all." The tone he used was ambiguous, as was the sentence.

He could have meant to imply many things with this sentence, yet you preferred to believe that it was just to maintain a friendly relationship with Morax.

You still thought it was bold of him to ask you to do this, of course he was the leader, but still, you were the one who had been facing it all these years, he didn't know a damn thing about it. You having to face monsters and more monsters, trying to research them more and more, trying to do something and failing so many times, trying to win an impossible battle.

You saw the city of Liyue evolve, the civilization become independent, but you also saw many problems that could have ended everything in the blink of an eye. And of course he has been there, he has seen a lot too, you wouldn't take that away from him. But since then things had changed a lot, you weren't at war anymore, but you couldn't say you were at peace either.

"I understand, but you should also try to understand some things, Bosacius." You muttered, loud enough for him to hear.

You didn't want to affront him, far from it, you just wanted to make him see how much things had changed, and you hoped he would understand. Bosacius wasn't the type to fight or make a fuss, but he might be a little upset, nothing that a talk or a few days of thinking couldn't solve.

He left the room, only giving a slight nod to you, and this gave Xiao room to enter, it didn't take long for him to notice the incoviniente atmosphere that had formed. His gaze met yours, without a word you could already tell what he was going to say. Xiao did not show it, but if you looked closely you could see how expressive his eyes were.

"It was nothing." You nod, even if he didn't believe you, he wouldn't force your words.

"Okay. I'm going out on patrol, I don't have a time to be back." Which made you puzzled, he usually didn't take too long, precisely because he didn't have much trouble defeating monsters.

"Is it something more serious? I can go with you if you like.” You babbled, if it was serious nothing more than you helping him.

"No, it's not that. Just a bigger flow than usual, it might take me a little more time to sort it out.” It was still suspicious. "And speaking of which, when you have some time you can go talk to Morax, I saw him fighting earlier."

"Did you see him fighting?" Astonished you ask, not even believing what you were saying.

It wasn't that he couldn't fight, but in his current state he would avoid it at all costs. And in case he did get into a fight, you could be sure it was something serious.

"Yes, I haven't asked him much about it." It made sense, but from Xiao's expression, he was already suspecting something just like you.

"Where did you see him fighting?" You whisper, wanting only him to hear you.

"In the Guili Plains, I believe he might still be in the vicinity. When I approached him he asked me to move away." He glared at you, as if trying to understand what you were trying to do. It was all very strange.

"Right, good luck on your patrol. Take care." You smile at him and say goodbye, picking up a few things to take with you.

Xiao disappeared in the blink of an eye, just as you also went straight to the Guili plains. It didn't take long for you to get there, and you were very surprised to see that Morax was still there, but he was fighting a group of smaller monsters, which was no problem for him.

And quickly everything was gone, the monsters were now just piles of dust on the ground, completely annihilated.

Approaching him you say, "That place has turned into a nest of pests." You mutter as you look around.

Now he has turned to look at you, in an almost haunting way.

"You shouldn't be here.” It was such a simple sentence, but for some reason it felt like an inquisition, as if you had done something wrong.

"I don't know if you've forgotten, but it's my duty." You replied in equal measure, just as sharply.

He seemed so abnormal, or maybe you had gotten used to his quiet, gentle manner, which didn't seem to be the case now.

He fixed his gaze on your gaze, which seemed the noblest lapis color, but this time his eyes didn't express kindness, far from it, it seemed more like the opposite.

"This place causes me horrible thoughts." He didn't need to explain, you had already understood.

The Guili Plains was where it all began, the Liyue civilization had started here. But it was a place taken by misfortune, what was supposed to be a blessing turned into a curse. It was overrun by plagues, monsters, and was completely destroyed.

Besides, this is where the whole romance between Morax and his wife began, and here is also where it ended, in a field full of glaze lilies.

"I imagine, you should leave this to us. There's no need for you to interfere.” As a comfort you pat him on the back

"You got hurt, didn't you?" You whisper to him as you see that his arm is bleeding quite badly.

"It was foolish, you don't have to waste your time with that." He awkwardly covered the wound with his overcoat.

"It could get infected." You spoke more quietly, since he seemed to be quite stressed by the situation.

"If you don't mind, we can settle this at my place." And not for a moment did his expression soften, it had been a long time since you had seen him like that.

"We should go quickly, the longer this wound is exposed the worse." You could try not to show it, but you were rather worried.

He just nodded without saying anything else, and the whole way to his house was silent, he didn't even try to make conversation.

And you didn't say anything either, since you were trying to analyze everything that had just occurred, Morax hadn't been involved in fights like this for a long time, the local guards were supposed to take care of the situation, not him. With quick steps it didn't take long before you two arrived at Morax's house, which was just one more among the other residences in the city. And you were paying attention to Morax, who was so quiet that it was strange, he was always very communicative.

As soon as you entered his house, you were surprised by the fact that everything there matched him, everything was so neat and tidy. Besides all the decorations and even the furniture, everything matched him, you could easily say that some items he made himself, and the others he surely chose personally.

"You don't have to worry about dressings or anything, I can do it myself." He says as he sits down in a chair, with a hurt face, he was feeling some pain, even if it was little.

"That's what I came here for." Bluntly you say, soon taking your coat off the wound and examining it.

He just answered you with a tired grunt. And seeing his agitation it wasn't hard to guess that something had happened that bothered him.

"So tell me, what went wrong?" You mutter, you were already mentally preparing yourself to handle the situation.

"I made a contract, with a high cost, but also with a high reward." Frustrated, that's exactly how he was.

But what could make the God of Contracts frustrated like that, he knew everything about contracts, there was no way he could have made a bad one.

"The only detail I need to know is, does this affect Liyue in any way?" Afraid to hear the answer you ask him, hoping that at least he wouldn't have made such a blunder.

Well, the answer came soon after, he ran one hand through his hair and gave a heavy sigh, "I do not think it will come to that, but there is a possibility."

A possibility, if he mentioned it, it was exactly because it was probable. Maybe it had a good chance of happening.

"You really don't get tired of screwing up, at least I hope you know that if something bad happens, you'll have to take your title again.” It was obvious to you, if something very, very bad happened, he would have no choice but to save his people.

And to do that he had to assume his identity again as an Archon, not as the simple mortal Zhongli.

"This would be my last resort, an emergency measure. As I said, I don't think it will come to that.”

You would force yourself to believe that things would not get that critical.

"So one of your contracts, of considerable importance, didn't work out?" You say very slowly, affirming every word.

"Indeed that was the situation." He says softly, but despite a certain calmness in his voice, he still has a frown on his face.

You took a deep breath and shook your head in denial, "I wonder what could be so advantageous, you are at least making a fair exchange aren't you?"

"Yes, maybe not in your eyes. But it is something that brings great prosperity, and I am willing to make that trade."

You wrinkled your eyebrows, at first you couldn't think of anything. But even if you tried, your mind was incredibly different from Morax's, so you could hardly come to any consensus.

"This is going to hurt a little." You then began to wrap the bandage around his arm to stop the bleeding, you had to do this with a certain firmness because if you didn't the bandage might not hold.

Soon the bandage was ready, and the other scratches were also properly sanitized, but as soon as you finished tying the bandage, he let out a grunt, which made you somewhat alarmed, if he was feeling pain from a 'simple' wound, it meant that it was more serious than you could imagine.

"Who did this to you?" You questioned him, it was impossible that it had been caused by a small group of monsters from the abyss.

"It was nothing, as I said, I just got careless." Even though he was good at telling lies when he wanted to, this time you could feel his trembling voice.

You lifted his face, making him look directly at you. "Can you tell me who did it? I'm not buying your monster talk."

The moment his eyes met yours, he seemed to forget every word he could say, as if his mind had gone blank.

"Answer me, if you really consider me a friend, then tell me." This situation was bad even for you, it showed that he didn't trust you to say certain things. Or at least he felt insecure to trust you with certain information.

"Childe. We got into a fight, and he hit me." Your eyes widened when you heard it, but you couldn't say you were surprised that it was someone strong, someone who at least had a compatibility with Morax, someone who could cause such an injury.

Of course, a mere Fatuus like Childe couldn't even reach half of Morax's power, yet he could do some damage, using any and all methods he could.

"So that was it, he was always hanging around you, and that was the reason. He is the middleman, with whom specifically did you negotiate? Tsaritsa?" The Cryo Archon, you had never gotten very close to her, the few contacts you had always felt that she was a person who demonstrated to be one thing, but inside was completely different.

"Those are parts of the contract I can't break, unfortunately I can't tell you that." And with that, there was no point in insisting, he wouldn't break any rules of contract, regardless, this he would never do.

"Sometimes I think you're completely out of your mind, Archons, you treat this so normally." You were angry, confused, even worried, and it all showed in your voice.

"I don't expect you to understand me, because in your place I wouldn't agree either." And you became more and more puzzled.

"I will explain the whole situation to Xiao and Bosacius, we will need to take precautions." Not only that, but the fact that Indarias had reacted, even in a simpler way, gave you more and more strength to continue.

You would keep looking for a way to make everything go back to the way it was before, even if it was the last thing you would ever do.

"I spoke briefly with Xiao, warning him to be more attentive." Maybe that was why he was so quiet, he seemed to be thinking about something else.

"So things are already getting complicated? That's why you were talking to the other Adepti, who agreed with you, by the way." You muttered thinking out loud, at first you didn't think Morax was up to something so pretentious, now you're starting to get a sense of it.

"In the end, I give the last word. All of you have a lifetime contract with me, and I don't suppose any of you have any intention of breaking any agreement with me." That refined way of speaking, the polite manners, nothing was able to hide the gigantic prepotency he had every time he spoke in such a manner.

Breaking a contract with him was the same as having a death wish, no being in his conscience would do anything that went against any deal with Morax. Even though he had changed, everything for him revolved around contracts, from a small exchange with some vendor, to a possible peace treaty with whoever it might be.

"Don't expect me to be complicit in all this, I will do things for the people, not for you." Again, again where the viewpoint of both were completely divergent, and neither party would budge.

"I know, I couldn't expect any different from you." And he didn't seem the least bit upset, he seemed to be expecting this kind of response.

"The fact is that I just wanted you to be aware of the situation, and I will do what I can to make sure this doesn't go on for too long. But until then, I need you to continue to secure the surroundings." As you had said before, you would continue to do it for the people. Since the civilians had nothing to do with this situation.

"I genuinely want you to trust me, to treat me like the friend you say I am." You sounded a bit sheepish as you spoke.

"No, don't get me wrong. There are things that only I can know, after all, I'm the one who's going to handle it. I am the most responsible for everything that happens here, and situations like this are also my responsibility." He reaffirmed, he had that awareness, he knew perfectly well the consequences of every action of his, and yet they did dubious things in your point of view.

"Even if it is this way, I would like you to tell me at least something about it, not to go around in circles, in the end you know that the news will reach me anyway." You say as you turn your back on him, then pick up your belongings and leave.

Realizing that you are upset, he approaches you, "I don't want you to think that way, I'm really trying to help. Nothing I'm doing is for my own ambition." He takes you by the arm, and again you face each other.

"If so, be clear with me." More than annoyed, you were curious.

His expression softened, and he quickly gave you an almost imperceptible smile before speaking, "This will help you, it will be good for all of us." He seemed to want to assure you of something, even though it sounded safe, but you were too afraid to believe it.

"Not to be skeptical, but it's still very new. Very strange, if everything works out as you say, great then." You mumble a bit sadly.

"These last few days Snezhnaya's troops are attacking some villages." Though serious, concern was written all over his face. He decided to start talking a little bit.

"Why would they do that? We are not at war to do such a thing." As soon as you finish the sentence the pieces come together in your head, you were not in an actual war, but it was the beginning of some conflict. Which could end very badly.

"Some are not according to the contract, since my part has not yet been fulfilled." He would have his reasons, it was a matter of honor, he would never break a contract.

Which makes you wonder what would be so valuable as to be a fair exchange for a Gnosis, there was nothing in this world that was so precious. At this point you could already bet that what was at stake was his Gnosis.

Besides it was dumb to attempt a direct conflict with Morax. He might not be in the best of shape, but he still had unmatched strength. He could take anyone down with his bare hands if he wanted to, without needing anyone's help.

"I guess you know what kind of trouble you're in." You were already looking at him with an annoyed face.

"I am the God of Contracts I know well how each one works." He knew so well that you were getting yourself into a bottomless hole.

Now the fact that Xiao and Bosacius were having to go out of their way to do the patrols made perfect sense, they were trying to invade Liyue through the weakest, most sensitive places, which were the small villages.

It had to be a very important decision for him to be willing to face all this, of course Morax cared about the welfare of those who were close to him, but from what little you understood what would happen would benefit others more than him, which again made you even more suspicious.

"I will reinforce patrols in this area, don't worry. As for you, I hope from the bottom of my soul that you know what you are doing, I won't stand for another war." You say just before teleporting away.

You would go back to your place of study, there you would cool your head and be able to think more clearly. Maybe it was an odd feeling, but you couldn't say you were angry enough to start hating what he did, but you weren't happy either.

His eyes had so much grief in them, as if he wanted to pay you back for something, he even had reasons to, but you couldn't imagine what he could do to fix those things. And you felt that as always, he kept a smile and a kind expression, always fitting in with his surroundings while showing that he was happy, or sympathetic to the life he was leading.

But even with this mask, he couldn't hide the melancholy he carried in his heart, the pain for all the past, and maybe he even felt bad for decisions that were even recent, who knows. And you experienced this too, it has been centuries, millennia, all the things that happened, good or bad, were engraved in the memory, each loss was as marked as a scar, not all the memories were good, in fact the bad ones unfortunately ended up being the most striking.

And he as the leader of a nation had experienced a lot, and he would experience even more, and he couldn't help it. He was only standing by his remaining friends and Liyue, he was always feeling lonely.

It wasn't hard to find him wandering around Liyue, admiring the sights and remembering every detail, every event, he had a great memory for this kind of thing. What weighed heavily on him was seeing everyone around him leave, in the most tragic ways imaginable, and he would do everything he could to keep those he held dear safe.

And you were also doing the same thing, you were doing everything in your power to save your friends, your family. Even if it meant depraving your own health, and that's what was happening, that could be one of the reasons why the symptoms of Karma were so evident, it didn't usually start out aggressively.

And you always knew that it would happen sooner or later, but you didn't hesitate, and you wouldn't hesitate. And maybe thinking this way would explain why you couldn't feel heinous rage, even if you didn't like it you could understand the reasoning.

Well, the ends justify the means, you were willing to do anything to save the ones you loved, and so was Morax, what you couldn't understand was who could be so important for him to do that.

And in fact, it should be someone with a great meaning to him.