#anyway i'm a bit annoyed lol
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#sometimes d2 youtubers are okay#but most of the time i want to chew my desk from their video titles and clickbaiting and just fearmongering#like it's not always doom and gloom the way they paint things#anyway i'm a bit annoyed lol#tbd#adrift babbles
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Hatsune Inku
Go to vote :33
chat...............
#can you tell that i'm going a bit insane#that 1% of difference could change at any moment lol#omg it already changed help#he's so cooked the next round but anyway#ink sans#undertale au#utmv#utmv fanart#ut au#should i tag hatsune miku#sorry if this has become annoying#sans au#sans polls#canvy drawings#hatsune inku
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meanwhile, Crowley:
Good Omens 2 | ⭑favorite moments⭑ 2/?
#good omens#good omens 2#goodomensedit#goodomensgifs#aziraphale#crowley#nina#s2e5 'the ball'#the NOISE i made when i heard the 'rescuing me' line was embarrassing#(i was very glad the family member i'd started watching with had already gone to bed)#just. i love that we got aziraphale saying this#anyway i didn't mean to start a gif series and disappear for months oops#life was a bit much for a while#also i was annoyed at how captions were antialiased in photopea and i had to like... just step away haha (i'm still annoyed oh well)#also remind me to never do a night-outside-the-bookshop scene ever again. i've done it three times now. and i hate it. so much lol.#i made this#gos2 faves#photopeablr#gifs
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just some 🥥 related sillies i've made for that fic we all know.
#durarara#izaya orihara#shizuo heiwajima#shizaya#a cheap imitation#i made a thing#i've been holding off on posting these here for so long whoops#i'm so shy... check out my lemonade guys#i've been very motivated to make various things for this fic as a result of this book club i've been hosting for my friends#i actually made the first image (not the video) like two years ago?#back around when i first read the fic and started being annoying about it to my friends#never posted it though because the shizuo i drew was ugly!!!#and the shizuo i drew for the second image this time around is still ugly!! unfortunately :(#well anyways if it isn't clear the images are both for chapter 19 while the video is for chapters 28 to 29 and a little bit of 30 lol#also i know izaya's actual problem isn't fucking shizuo but kissing him lol but it was funnier to keep it like this#you can check out more of this deranged behaviour over at my twitter of the same name#i know not everyone wants to go there though especially with the current situation...#so i'll try to bring over the more memorable stuff to post in batches over here which i think is the stuff i did any art for#since i've made a lot of multimedia type things dedicated to particular chapters as “marketing” for my friends#but i'm not sure they'll make much sense out of context so#my plan is to compile all of everything i've made for the fic during the book club into a powerpoint that i'll try to keep for posterity#because ngl i feel i went kinda hard with certain things that maybe only two people will appreciate#but i'll do it for those two people out there#also it's a whole book club for aci!!#*i'd* want to see what some random people have been up to with a book club for this fic#be the change you want to see in the world#side note i wonder if having so many fucking tags on your own post is a bad look...#idk it's so much clutter but i have too many things to say!!#i look back at my own previous tags and i physically can't bring myself to read them ahhhh#i hope anyone's enjoying them anyways
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daily whistlebreeze until fae becomes PoV day 1411
Whistlebreeze talking to Whisperbreeze requested by @pinestripe37
#warrior cats#whistlebreeze#whisperbreeze#windclan#shadowclan#medicine cat#warrior#I have to admit I do not know why in the world the erins thought it'd be a smart idea to name two cats nearly the same name#(as if cats having Literally The Same Name has ever stopped them...)#but this might get a bit annoying with people getting confused about the two#these two names literally only differ from each other in two consonants. people are going to mix these two up CONSTANTLY#and god i'm not looking forward to this#but Whisper is innocent lmao and tbh I've always been a bit of a fan of making Whisper and Stream near identical twins#we need more twinsies in these books. it's cute#not like they have any canon character but that's just free real estate for headcanons <3#the plants here are chamomille (very simplified) chervil and juniper berries#anyways I've been fighting with the CurlJay kids (and thus thenr entire family </3)#but I might soon-ish have something kinda decent for them lol#Mist's tortie spots might still move around a bit but aside from that it's starting to come together nicely
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"We can get through this by working together, reach out to your friends, community is all we have, a social network will be your security in the world, now is the time to lean on others!"
I do agree, and it's scientifically sound (pretty sure there is data about how people with better social networks live longer and etc) but also....augh..... what about the severe social issues, difficulty to leave the house, physical issues which lead to like zero socialization energy a majority of the time, etc. etc. Social support can be a replacement for structural support, but.. I guess I just wish it didn't have to be. Community is extremely difficult to build, even moreso if you're someone who has issues with social cues or group conversations or even just being around others in the first place. And blah, nuance, of course I'm just complaining or maybe being too negative or maybe misunderstanding, but, I hardly have the energy to brush my hair once every 2 months.. how am I supposed to maintain a wide social network and be active in a Community and Join Groups lol... sometimes it kind of feels like "er.. well if thats my only option then...... ruh roh". It's overwhelming
#Kind of like some post I saw a long time ago talking about how even the meanest shittiest most difficult to get along with#elderly people or whaever still deserve to have some sort of systems in place to support them so they're not just relying on the#grace of relatives or etc. who may not be able to deal with them. Not saying that I'm like mean and cruel or anything#but the fact of the matter is in most social situations either I am compromising or the other person is. Not in like an ~`ouuu im so weirdd#nobody willever understand my quirky swagg hee heee~' way but like a.. Just factually the things that make me happy and comfortable#are often incompatible with people. The way I communicate and process things is different from the way other people do and that#is always a barrier. I cannot have ''easy''' interactions. Even with 'understanding' people there is nearly always a significant#amount of effort. You can't walk into a group of people and then be like ''okay you guys all have to wear#masks and you also cant play music too loud and also we should communicate turns of speaking very clearly so group conversations#arent too stressful. and also i need this and that and we have to do this and that and '' etc. etc. You CAN. And some people will#go along with that. but they will ALWAYS secretly resent you for it. You will be the one person they're relieved to not have to be around.#theyre glad when you dont show up since they can go back to doing things however they want and not masking and all these boring#annoying things. OR you can say none of that and just deal with the loud music and the talking and the unmasked people. but then#YOU'RE compromising. and no matter how nice they are it's exhausting to be around and youre just further alienated#while in the presence of people and uncofmrtoabel the whole time.#Which I'm not saying the only form of community is a group setting specificially but just giving that as an example lol#I just wish there were a better option than ''well learn to socialize normally or just suffer then'' . Which I know is not what people are#saying. I guess I just always feel a bit scared when 'community is the answer'. Since its not like 'oh im just socially anxious and need to#get out of my shell~!' or something thats really that remedy-able. It's like.. my mostly unchangeable physical health issues combined#with the mostly unchangable literal way that my brain processes sensory informationand other things means that interacting with#others in a normal and easy way is incredibly difficult and often exhausting especially to maintain in any longform fashion. So then#when it's like ''the answer to staying safe is to maintain longform social connections!! :3 just reach out!!'' then.. ermm... O_O#also I'm not even one of the cutesy shy emotional hermits that's nervous. I'm the Bad Stereotype emotionless robotic cold seeming#looms in the corner of the room type of thing so people have less pity on you in that way. -_- ANYWAY gghj#I need like.. a designated social representative or something.. When I did work in that bookshop forever ago they gave me a#person who basically was just with me to help communicate with others on my behalf and supervise me and stuff. I need that.. Some#more extraverted person I can latch onto and they can maintain the Social Support Network for me and I can just be their +1 to all#of the Social Things and community. I have helpful skills I can contribute to other people and stuff it's just like.. I cant socialize lol#I cook food or something for you.. then you keep me in contact with Community.. a deal. (but then what about when I'm too sick to#contribute? as is often the case. there's not much place for people like me in communities sometimes i fear.. sigh.) ***
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current editing moodboard, please send help
#perfectionism is really kicking my butt rn#that and the fact i had like a week away from writing properly bc chronic pain and now i can’t get back into the headspace#so yeah#perfectionism and brain fog#the inimitable duo#and i know i just need to be patient because it’ll get in the end there like it always does#but rn i’ve spent two nights in a row trying to polish up the last bits of this chapter#and i still just feel so detached from it all i want to pitch my laptop out the window#but i can’t afford a new laptop each time i want to defenestrate it#so this little rant will have to do instead#UGH#it’s so annoying because i am actually so so proud of this chapter and have loved writing it and can’t wait to share it#it’s just this last little bit that i seem to be hitting a brick wall with#anyway sorry#four walls readers don't worry i go through this just about every chapter lol#i'm just feeling it particularly this time because it's a particularly big chapter (both in terms of length and content)#and sometimes venting in the tags and creating an alex moodboard is very therapeutic#writing stuff#alex turner#writer's block#lulu posts
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i think i tapped on the explore page by accident some minutes ago, i've been scrolling for a good sec like 'why is this on my dash. i don't know any of these people. what's going on' lmfsvh
#just me hi#i was really scrolling like 'man i do i need to start unfollowing people' before i Realized something was Wrong hkdjvhgv#idek how i did that. for a moment i was in a poor (quality) alternate dimension hkfkshvj#//anywho 'm gonna be going to bed in a bit :)#12 is about the time i should go to sleep... but also i've been doing pretty well going to sleep late n waking up at pretty reasonable hour#turns out when i'm much better at managing my own sleep times than i thought! whodda thought after all this time hbfhsh#//mnmnm also i'm getting back into actually enjoying writing lol :33#took me a sec bc oooh has it been fooooreeeever bfsh !! but yea i'm figuring out how to like it again :>>#i had what i believe to be a reasonable amount of description for a scene(in hindsight anyway lmfsh) and was like 'ohh but is this annoying#and then the thought of 'oh wait. i'm writing for me and one other guy (also me)'#so it haaaas been pleasant :33#i'm trying to practice my pacing n stuff... my punctuation has gotten a bit rusty too so that as well :)#//oh i haven't worked on my background stuff...#year's almost done and i think i've done 1 full background i think. that's a bit crazy hkfshv#gotta make up for that !! it's gonna suck prolly but i'm gonna do it >:3#mmmmmmmmmmmmm yea i'll do that after the yellow piece tomorrow :>#i've already got some of the guidelines for that down so ~!!~#//ouh the tea Got Me#going to poof now.. tooodles .w./
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part of the problem is that a lot of hugo's politics are really well thought out & considered & good but then some of them are like. entirely vibes-based to the point of feeling muddled & inconsistent & even straight up Bad sometimes. which is annoying
#sometimes it's like he's just saying things. chewing it over in real time but not getting anywhere really. which is frustrating when you've#just been immersed in a really deep & serious point he's carefully made & laid out just before#<- e.g. this section of revolt vs insurrection has some good points ig & could be interesting if it was actually grounded in some sort#of idk. political theory or something. but instead he spends a lot of it just falling back on ~vibes which sucks Especially bc#sometimes that 'sense' misleads him i think! and he ends up wandering closer to certain reactionary ideas than he intends#like he starts w this really banger bit basically making fun of the bourgeoisie opinion on violent uprising but then?? kind of ends up#doing that a bit himself by the end? not to mention that tbh i think the whole distinction he's trying to make here is kind of bogus anyway#it really feels he's trying to soothe his like lingering bits of conservative discomfort around this sort of armed uprising#by sorting it into a 'good' 'type' while maintaining a 'bad' 'type' for anything he's still not comfortable with#<- i wouldn't phrase that quite so harshly except i still think his bit on 1848 is annoying & this sort of goes hand in hand w that towards#like. actually actively working against the values he's trying to strive towards. y'know.#it's like you can see genuinely him intellectually trying to come round but he has still not let go of these#sort of like. instinctive conservative bourgeois discomforts in his subconscious. if that makes sense#thoughts#<- also the take on caesar & alexander & columbus etc. 😑🚬 i'm tired#kind of funny though bc sometimes his characters (i.e. like the amis) come across as having more clear grounded discussed well#thought through political opinions than he does. lol. it's like he saw the vision but was struggling with it personally at times#les mis
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i have GOT to stop going and checking out the notes on... that one post.... but it's CRAZY to me that people keep reblogging it very seriously being like "HOW CAN PEOPLE LIKE HENRY HE MURDERED 20 CHILDREN"
you mean the fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional child murder?? you mean the fake fictional telekinetic sci fi child murder by fake fictional telekinetic sci fi murder man on fake fictional telekinetic sci fi horror netflix show stranger things??? YOU MEAN THAT FAKE MURDER???
no you're so right there's never once been a history of fandoms liking a guy even if he did a bit of fake fictional murder what an insane concept
#one of the members of the fan club found it and was very seriously defending themselves in the notes too#like “I NEVER SAID IT WAS COOL THAT HE MURDERED THOSE KIDS I LIKE HIM BC I THINK HE DIDN'T DO IT”#which like I get why you're rolling up in defense since the post is calling you fucking crazy but the defense itself is also funny as hell#bc it's just not that serious lmao. stan him AND the murder if you want idfc#in fact I think the fan club is a bit annoying and I'd probably like them better if they DID think he murdered all those kids#say it with your whole chest. child murderer jones murdered all those children and he's my pookie#but like. I'm sure plenty of people are reblogging it lightheartedly like ''yeah haha funny#he murdered a bunch of kids and people edit him with cat ears or whatever isn't that crazy!'' but like. some people seem like#they're taking it seriously lol#and it's just like. not that serious lmao I'm sorry this is our most hysterical discourse yet#I don't even really LIKE the fanclub but wtf lol#anyway. y'all ever heard of like. a horror slasher fandom?#should I main tag this?#nah. I want to a little bit but I should not#ok nvm I will#I will regret it maybe but I'll do it#stranger things#byler#henry creel
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my niece is staying with us for the whole weekend for the first time. until now it's always been one night only, not two.
it's the second night now and I have already decided this is not happening again anytime soon. I'm so fucking exhausted. it'd be less exhausting if it was my nephew, I think - he's older and also doesn't need as much help (even when he was her age).
I love my niece but she just asks so many questions. like when we're watching a show or a movie, even if it's one she has seen before (even multiple times), she doesn't understand what's going on and constantly asks me to explain everything. I don't mind it, really, but it does take a lot of energy. plus tonight it took over two hours for her to fall asleep because she was scared by the noises of the house and the nearby road. I get it, but damn I'm so fucking tired, I just want to sleep 😭
#my nephew will get to stay for two nights soon so that it's fair and everything#but then I think we'll go back to one night only for a while#I just can't sleep when someone else is here. and I do not handle being tired well. or rather being even more tired than usual#so yeah no this is too much#I'm so glad I don't have children. I literally would not survive#we played board games with her today. her idea. she chose the gsme#but it was so fucking difficult.....#I think most kids would have understood this game at like. 10 maybe. probably before that really#she's 12 and a half and just did not get it at all#she's got difficulties learning and she's finally getting (more) help for that in school now but I'm really.. a bit shocked that it took#this long for her parents to accept that#she's a great kid but it's been obvious since she started school that she needs more help#so anyway yeah it's 3am and I think she finally fell asleep after I put Charmed on for her#I've got a massive headache and I'm so fucking tired I feel like I'm losing my mind lol#couldn't sleep last night & I hope it's better tonight. but having someone else here is stressful.#ugh I wish this wasn't so hard for me. I want to be the fun aunt (I'm their only aunt.. aunt-like person... whatever) but I know I get more#and more impatient when they're here. I hate that. but I can't change it. I've tried! for 10 years! but it didn't work#don't get me wrong - I'm never mean or angry with them. I just get somewhat annoyed and I know it's noticeable and I hate that#they don't seem to mind. they love visiting us. but I don't like it because I hated the way adults treated me when I was a kid so I want to#be better#:(#anyway I have to sleep now or tomorrow will be hell :)#personal
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Spell your URL out with song titles
Got tagged to do this by @vincentsleftear ! Thanks!
Hehe watch this :)
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy
Young and Menace - Fall Out Boy
The Shipped Gold Standard - Fall Out Boy
Alpha Dog - Fall Out Boy
Rat A Tat - Fall Out Boy
Death Valley - Fall Out Boy
It's Hard to Say "I Do", When I Don't - Fall Out Boy
Sugar, We're Goin Down - Fall Out Boy
I Slept With Someone From Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written About Me - Fall Out Boy
Sunshine Riptide - Fall Out Boy
Pavlove - Fall Out Boy
American Beauty/American Psycho - Fall Out Boy
Reinventing the Wheel to Run Myself Over - Fall Out Boy
[The] Kintsugi Kid - Fall Out Boy
Eternal Summer - Fall Out Boy
Dance, Dance - Fall Out Boy
tagging: @well-and-true @jellybeansarecool @elephant-in-the-pride-parade @thescullyphile @baylardo @maliciousalice @theartmeg @emilie786 and anyone else who wants to
#ok this is annoying as hell lol but I just really wanted to see if I could actually do only FOB songs because they have a vast discography#and HECK YES IT CAN BE DONE#kintsugi kid was a bit fudgy with the rules but oh well#I had to pull out Pax AM Days for 'E'#anyway i swear i'm not a bandom person I just like the sound of 1 band more than any other band#FOB scratches the brain itch#this was fun! thanks for the tag!
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daily whistlepaw until ah becomes PoV day 1167
I think I finally understand how people feel when around a crush, can't say I enjoy it
#warrior cats#whistlepaw#windclan#medicine cat apprentice#this isn't my first crush lol but this one has had me feel the strongest of feelings (and might be my first genuine crush lol)#the fact I have been building up A Lot of stress for the entire week probably didn't help.#and the fact my stomach hurt is also probably at least partially to explain by the fact I barely ate last night#but MAN seeing my (latest) crush in such a pretty dress and then go on stage and play (a goddess!!!!!!! she's a goddess)#(I already bought tickets to go see the full thing; I will die but I will die happy (I hope))#but yeah I struggled for a good 2 hours to fall asleep and also had stomach weirdness happening the next morning#man it was not fun#(and then she came to sit next to me during class and I had to play it cool (I was too deranged on sleep deprivation to really care about#being my typical brand of weird but I do sometimes feel like an idiot around her and feel guilty because then I fear that she finds me#annoying and will hate me and I will fail this again (losing a friendship over a crush once was not that fun lol) and Traumas don't help#either at all so uh I'm just trying to spend time with her I just always feel a bit worried that I'm annoying her and it's consuming my bra#I do also still feel a little guilty about having this crush; internalized homophobia/issues around sexuality are hard to shake off#and while it's very normal and stuff I never dare to go the entire way when my brain conjures fantasies that are a little too risqué#I just feel guilty man I know I shouldn't but still it fucking sucks in my brain#and god talking about this in therapy would be a mess#I might have to eventually but I don't wanna#anyways; wild vent in the tags aside; yay a whis!
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I just have to get this pet peeve off my chest.
Okay so, like, I'm by no means an expert on metal culture, but I have done some research because that's what I do when I'm working on fic involving things I don't know. And even with the little knowledge I had before just from watching a lot of 80s movies, I had these thoughts, and it just got worse after researching. So....
Eddie wouldn't put his hair up in a ponytail or bun every chance he gets! It's not part of the style! Omg, I see this in almost every Steddie fic and it's driving me up a wall, lol. He especially wouldn't put it up on stage, like, what!? No no no no no! The long hair is for headbanging! Like, I can suspend my disbelief if someone is writing Eddie as doing mechanic work, 'cause having long hair doing that stuff is dangerous, but any other time? He wouldn't. Eddie's committed to the metalhead culture/aesthetic, he'd rather sweat like crazy in the summer than look like a poser. Instead, he'd probably use his bandana to wrap around his forehead to keep his bangs out of the way, or he'd wear it like he did in the show--over his hair--if he wants to keep it from getting in his face.
Maybe I'm in the minority for who it bothers, but gahhh! It makes me roll my eyes so hard every time I read it, and I just carefully edit it out in my mind so that it's more in character, lol.
Obviously, people are gonna do what they're gonna do, but yeah. Had to rant a little.
#eddie munson#steddie#eddie munson x steve harrington#like fine if you wanna make him ooc you do you#but ugh#maybe i'm the only one who it annoys lol#anyway I feel better after finally saying it#again not an expert but like it only takes a little bit of googling#I don't think I saw even one pic of 80s metalheads with their hair in a ponytail or bun#glam metal might have their hair slightly up#but eddie's style is thrash not glam#okay okay enough ranting lol
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you ever have one of those cases where you know your childhood wasn't exactly normal but then you take a look at one aspect of your life that you thought was just a quirky lil detail and realize maybe that was a bit more not-normal than you previously thought
#i spent my entire school years cooped up in my room pretending to study when i wasn't at school#no free time ever bc if there's free time then there's always something more important you could be doing instead of taking a break#just always trying to look like i was studying whenever anybody entered my room and i wasn't sleeping#maybe that fucked me up a bit bc now i never feel like I'm allowed to have any free time#or maybe that's just the adhd who knows#anyway that's also why i never went outside bc it never even occured to me that i could even ask for permission to go outside#or even just hang out with friends after school. fuuuuuuuuck wait is that why ppl have been thinking im weird for heading straight home#after school everyday instead of hanging out to chat and hang out even though i have nothing else to do#anyway what i was going for before that lil realization was that idk how to answer when ppl ask me about video games#bc you have to play those on your phone or computer and you have to pay for them too and of course my parents weren't paying for that#and it's not like i could've just got them myself bc i never had an allowance bc they expected me to ask them if there was anything i needed#but ppl aren't really expecting you to dive into how weird your life/parents were when they ask you about video games#so idk. maybe i should really just get a therapist so i can figure out what's normal and what isn't lol#anyway. i keep having these little realizations recently and idk why. i thought i already knew everything abt my own life#guess im just recontextualizing things based on new info or whatever#it's getting pretty annoying having new epiphanies abt my life when im just tryna get through school tho :/#mine#random#vent
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Going through another Worrying about being abandoned by a fictional character moment 🙃
#negative#thankfully it's 2 am so i don't have tk worry about feeling too guilty for posting this lol#< still feeling a little bit guilty but still#anyway I have been up with some stomach issues and my paranoia is really bad right now#it's now moved from What if slenderman is at the fridge to What if Zooble doesn't actually love me at all#and would gladly leave me for someone else#seeing so much ship art of them with other characters today didn't help at all :[#I know it's probably stupid for me to be this way#but like. what if I'm not good enough for them? what if they want someone who's thin and pretty and feminine?#what if I'm too annoying?#I'm sitting here worrying that I'm not good enough for even a fictional character#maybe this is how I convince insurance to cover therapy for me again lol#anyway ummmm fuck 👍
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