#anyway as i do when im sick i watched an entire show

[yakult-kettle]

Nodding and agreeing while holding my chin in my hand like a sage old man.

[taintedcigs]

eddie and steve live together & steve is completely in love with reader but she’s with eddie.

he comes home one day and shes standing in the kitchen making lunch in the tightest yoga pants and he is literally gonna implode. he can’t handle it anymore 🥺

to the edge — s.h.

a/n: wrote this while listening to deftones and omfg this idea is KILLING ME nonnie!!! did not proof-read pls ignore all mistakes!! im sorry i made this soso pervy but i swear i held myself back lmao!! also idk if this is what u wanted but hope u enjoy bb <33

warnings: perv!steve,18+ only, minors dni!!!!! kinda dark but not rlly ??, male m*sturbation, steve j*rking off to ur picture, degrading nicknames but also praising kind of! just filthy idk what is going thru my head im sick. (wc: 1.5k+)

Steve didn't know how much longer he could handle this.

How much longer could he hide this from you? Or even more importantly, how much longer could he hide this from Eddie?

His breath strained the moment he came home from work, he was already worked up, going through hours and hours of paper work, and now he was beyond frustrated.

Because there you stood with the prettiest smile adorning your face as you greeted him, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander off to your body when you wore the tightest fucking yoga pants that he had ever seen.

Showing all of your curves in the best possible way, the way your breasts juggled as you skipped over to give him a greeting hug.

He felt... so fucking perverted about his thoughts of you, the way his entire body froze when your breasts squeezed over his chest, the way his hands lingered on your waist when all he wanted to do was lower them further, cupping your ass while you squealed, hitting his chest with those pretty giggles escaping your lips.

"Can you help me out?" You asked with those doe-eyes. Steve was sure he would do anything you asked if you gave him that look. Any fucking thing.

He nodded breathlessly, no words able to push past his lips as he watched you in awe.

Eddie was nowhere to be seen, probably still stuck at work and Steve felt horrible. He felt horrible by how he eyed you, he felt horrible by how his mind framed you beneath him, whimpering for more until he pounded into you senselessly.

And he was doing every fucking thing he could to keep it in his pants, it was truly torture. But he seemed to be doing fine. Until you decided to brush past him in an attempt to reach the knife next to him.

It wasn't intentional, you probably thought nothing of it. But the way your curves molded into him, the way your ass grazed against his boner was a whole new territory that Steve wasn't ready for yet.

In his mind, you two might as well have been naked. And he knew he was fucked. Because all Steve could think about now was fucking you from behind, seeing that pretty view of your ass while you melted into him, pretty lips opening slightly to mewl at him for more, his hips relentlessly pounding into you, his veiny cock stretching that perfect little cunt he always dreamed about.

Fucking you senselessly until your mind was filled with nothing but Steve, and his cock. He wanted to have you drooling for him, begging for him to let you cum, begging for more...

Shit.

Steve looked down at the bulge in his pants, it was very fucking visible as his cock strained against his zipper, even the wet patch from his pre-cum was starting to form and he knew if he didn't do something about it he was going to explode.

"I—I'm just so... tired." He fake yawned, and you looked up at him.

"Oh! It's okay, I'll just finish up here, there isn't much left anyway." You gave him a small smile.

"You... uh— you sure?" He asked, hand perfectly placed to cover up his boner.

"Yes, yes... I'll let you know when the dinner is ready, Stevie." You giggled, waving him off.

Stevie.

He didn't even know how he made it to his bedroom, heaving a breath of relief as soon as he locked the door.

Stevie. He was sure you were trying to fucking kill him.

Steve was quick to take off his pants, almost juggling over them by how fast he was being.

Jesus fucking Christ

He shouldn't do this, he can't fucking do this.

He tried to reason, but the memories of you flashed through his mind faster than he could comprehend, the way those tight yoga pants framed your curves in the best way possible, the way you licked your lips as you concentrated on cutting those damn vegetables.

He could turn every memory of you into something sexual, he could picture those lips wrapped around his throbbing cock, your delicate tongue lapping up his pre-cum as your mouth struggled to take all of his length, and you stared up at him with those doe eyes.

Fuckfuckfuck.

He couldn't hold it off as he climbed into bed, trying his best to stifle his grunts when he wrenched his cock from his boxers. His cock pulsed harder as he swiped his thumb along the tip, hissing as he spread the bead of pre-cum that collected at his pink tip.

A low groan rose in his throat, as he closed his eyes. Shaky hands stroking up his lengthy cock. So slowly.

And all he can imagine was you.

He wanted you so badly that it ached, his cock in his grip was almost hot to touch, pulsating with need.

He wanted— no, he needed you. He needed you trembling under him, eager to fill all of your holes, he wanted you pleading for him, he wanted to sheath himself inside of you, as he told you how much he loved you.

He wanted to fill you to the brim, not stopping until he made sure that you were stuffed with his cum, not stopping until he made sure he painted your velvety walls white.

He fisted his cock feverishly at his thoughts, so roughly that his knuckles turned white. But he didn't care, pictures of you etched into his brain were enough to get him over the edge.

Steve was sure he had never felt this way before, he felt out of his mind, hooked on you. You were like a drug he couldn't get enough of, and it was killing him.

He tried to keep his moans stifled—but it was so hard when his dirty mind was filled with X-rated images of you.

You with your mouth hung open, tongue sticking out as you begged to taste his cum, to feel his load shooting down your throat.

"Fuck—fucking slut." He let out before he could stop himself. Tugging harder at his abused cock. "Such—such a pretty baby for me, yea?" He praised envisioning you.

He didn't hesitate to grab his bedside picture when he felt himself closer to release. He examined the picture carefully, curses slipping past his lips. There you stood next to him, and there was Eddie.

His veins throbbed with rage at the sight of him, he knew it was wrong, so fucking wrong. But every inch of him resented Eddie for getting to have you.

His thumb was quick to cover Eddie's face, he gripped harder on the picture as he focused on you.

God, did you look pretty.

Your hands were wrapped around his waist as you leaned toward him, you looked so fucking happy.

You wore the smallest fucking skirt, and your tits were pressed up against your tiny top, and it was driving Steve crazy.

He stroked his cock harder and harder as he imagined you naked, squirming under him. "Please, Stevie." You mewled, the nickname clinging to his mind.

"Cum inside of me, Stevie. Please, baby... please—need your cum." He imagined you whimpering, batting your lashes at him as tears threatened to spill from those innocent eyes.

And Steve reveled in the thought, of having you begging for his cum, his desire to get you full of him, the visual of his cum leaking out of your cunt pulled a guttural groan out of him.

"Please, Stevie, wanna be filled with your load."

He tugged at his cock harder, the thought of you begging for him, the thought of you begging to be his flooded his mind. "'M gonna make you mine, honey." He promised.

"Shit—gonna fuck my load into you, yeah, baby?"

"Gonna make you my personal fuckin' cock sleeve." He cursed as he stroked harder, gripping the picture in his hand.

"Make you my fuckin' cum dump." He groaned, the desire to have you jolted every inch of him.

"'M yours, Stevie." He envisioned you mewling for him.

And that thought finally sent him over the edge, he spurted his warm cum all over the picture in his hand. Most of it spilling on your frame as he let out loud groans, not even able to hide or stifle them anymore.

He grunted as the last of his load dripped from his softened tip onto your lips and all over your face on the picture. He couldn't help the satisfied smile on his face as he admired it.

You looked so fucking gorgeous with his cum spurted all over your pretty little face.

"Stevie!" You called out for his name and Steve froze immediately.

He panicked and covered himself up as soon as you knocked on the door.

Did you fucking hear him?

Did you know about his disgusting thoughts?

"Y—yeah?" He replied, voice filled with shame.

Thankfully, you didn't open the door as you just yelled. "Dinner is ready!" He heaved a sigh of relief quickly.

You were going to be the death of him.

[painfulstretch]

idea/fantasy: i’m your overdue trans guy roommate. i share everything with you not knowing about your kink. i’ve started complaining about how sick I am of being pregnant, eventually you give into temptation and offer your help. you use teas and herbs and massages to jumpstart my labor. i comply happily, appreciating the help, and am even excited when i feel the first light contractions, i even have you time them to figure out when i should head to the hospital. i have no idea what i’m in for. 12 hours later im still in our apartment, totally at your mercy. i realized far too late why you’d been so eager to assist, and now i’m stuck on the bathroom floor trying to bring a 12lb baby to crown. i’m shouting and crying hysterically as each push wrenches me open, and there’s still a massive bulge sitting just inside. i’ve long given up on begging, the only help you’ll give is to hold my thighs wide apart so you can enjoy the show.

fuckkk anon, that sounds like the dream. getting the chance to see your huge belly everyday would already be great - i'd always be watching you, seeing how your struggle grows everyday, how you're constantly rubbing circles into your aching back and strained bump, hurting all over even before the contractions first started.

i have to bite my tongue when you say you're sick of being pregnant. i would love to see you like this a little longer, just to see how much more weight you'd be able to carry on your slim hips. but i also can't deny i'm excited for your labor. the desire to see you scream out your baby is far stronger than the wish to see you pregnant. so i help you kickstart your labor, and fuck the sight of you doubling over, moaning and panting in pain, every time a contraction hits, is just exquisite.

you're too busy riding out the waves of pain to notice my grin as i time your contractions and announce how short the pauses become, getting closer and closer to the real deal. i reach over to touch your massive belly every now and then, you lean into my hand not yet realising that it's not the touch of a friend trying to be supportive but more akin to a predator toying with its prey. i can't get enough of feeling your bump contracting harshly, and hearing you moan and grunt.

i keep up the act for so long, i start to internally laugh at your naive nature. only when you say it's time to go to the hospital and i flatly deny it, do you become suspicious. suspicion turns to nervousness when you insist and i still don't comply, and then slowly morphs into panic, the clearer it becomes i'm serious and not just playing a mean joke. you become frantic, your words become pleading. i find i enjoy it massively. you've sunken to your knees, the contractions too strong to stay standing, and you're clutching your distended, rippling belly, tears forming in your eyes. you're begging, you're begging for quite some time. you cry, panicked, when i force my fingers inside you to check your dilation - you're dilating fast.

it takes hours until you give up and surrender to your fate of being my own personal entertainment. by now you're too deep into labor to try and argue anymore anyway. your panting and moaning has turned to screaming and sobbing. transition was definitely one of my favorite things to witness - the most painful part of labor. the way you shrieked and thrashed, big fat tears rolling down your cheeks. it lasted almost two hours, and i was thrilled the entire time, couldn't take my eyes off you for a single moment. i was kind of disappointed when it was over and you calmed down a little to take a breather. i decided you needed a proper birthing place - if you kept doing it here, our fine carpet might get dirty with your fluids. i dragged you to your feet, forcing you to walk to the bathroom despite the unbearable pressure in your pelvis. gravity brought the baby down faster.

and now we're here, on the bathroom floor. we have been for several hours now. the head is truly enormous, that bulge is probably the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. your skin stretched taut, an angry bruised red, and your lips fluttering around the top of the baby's head, trying to open up enough to let it pass. you've been trying for so long and still can barely get it crowning. i'm surprised you even got it all the way to your lips through your narrow hips if i'm honest.

your shouting and crying is music to my ears. your trembling, sweating body and your face scrunched up in agony are what my dreams are made of. i've watched you for twelve hours already, i'll gladly watch you for another twelve, or even more. i don't want it to end. i'll wait until you've got the head to a crown - i want to see how you react to the famous ring of fire, i want to see you writhe and wail as the burning stretch reaches its widest, most agonizing point -, i'll let you have that feeling of success for a few minutes because i'm not a monster, despite what you may think right now, you know? you can feel happy about your accomplishment. and when you've had your share, i'll place my hand on your bulging pussy.

didn’t i say i'd love to see you pregnant a bit longer but prefer seeing you suffer through labor? well, i realised... why choose when i can have both? i'll place my hand on the baby's head and give it a nice gentle shove. oh, the scream you let out as that white hot pain sears through your nether region up into your entire body will be glorious

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.1

masterlist

ellie williams x fem! reader (ur kind of a girly girl in this one sorry)

summary: you’re one of the luckiest people in the world as one of the few families that managed to gain entrance to the most exclusive safezone on earth. after living 19 years of your life in a soft and forgiving world, a lab accident sends you across the country to jackson, wyoming, entirely unprepared and unaware of what awaits you in the real world. its a good thing u run into a hot lesbian wink wink nudge nudge

a/n: now listen now hear me out i know this plot sounds kooky asf and im sorry i literally thought this shit up in a covid fever dream. but anyway i basically blacked out at the keyboard and have about 6k words to show for this weekend and no completed hw. i can’t believe im writing. this im so sorry

warnings: ellie is mean asf at first, reader is clueless and cannot do a pushup, you’re also a little bit of a snob and have a fixation on etiquette.  i promise it gets better just bear w me lMAO. she/her pronouns for the reader, v vanilla violence and explicit language. kinda enemies to lovers vibe

im so sorry u guys idk what got into me this is the goofiest au i’ve ever written ok but i just want ellie to get to learn abt the stars and shit after all she’s been thru she deserves it ok enjoy part 2 coming whenever i finish it.

wc: 6k

It wasn’t that you didn’t know that something bad had happened to the rest of the world. You did. Of course you did. You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that there was maybe something else going on when no one was allowed outside of the walls and anyone who returned told hushed stories of decimated buildings and piles of corpses.

It was just difficult to grasp the idea of the world you knew no longer existing outside the bounds of the city. To anyone before the pandemic, you’re sure that you lead what seemed like a normal life for any privileged kid.

You had two parents, both of whom loved you very much. You went to an elementary school, then a middle school, and then eventually high school and university. You went shopping with your friends. You watched movies and ate shitty junk food and had first kisses and went on ice cream dates. You studied what captivated your interest the most—space—and threw your soul into learning about the physics of the universe.

You laid on your dorm bed, playing with the edges of your pink comforter as you gossiped with your roommate, Irena, about the professor that she thought was hot and the boy who tried to harass you for your number after you’d finished up getting lunch.

You lived a normal life, which is pretty ironic, because the only reason you got to say that was because you were born to not-normal people who had been at the right place at the right time when the world fell apart.

You see, when everyone got sick, some areas got hit harder than others. And your parents, who were vacationing in some swanky exclusive Canadian resort that only the elite knew about, happened to hit the jackpot.

Not only was their vacation spot the one area in North America with a significant metropolitan population that managed to get enough time to adequately prepare, they happened to be traveling with some big-wig execs that knew a guy who knew a guy who was in the process of evacuating and putting the final touches on a safe zone, Terranova, intended for only the highest rungs of North American society.

So, there you were. Some 25 years or so after the world as your ancestors knew it fell to shit—and you were sipping cappuccinos and getting facials without a care in the world. All because of a lucky vacation.

And, for the record, it’s not that you were ungrateful. You knew that you were lucky to be living in the last place on earth with a semblance of normalcy. What you didn’t know, however, was just how lucky you were, and you didn’t find this out until you made that one stupid mistake in Gunther’s lab.

~

“Morning, Y/N!” called out Professor Gunther, a short, squatty man with a receding hairline so impressive that his forehead now ended halfway up his scalp.

“Morning, Professor,” you said, setting your bag down on the desk, winding your long scarf from around your neck and running a hand through your hair to get the tangles out. The wind outside had been especially fierce for February, which was not ideal given that you'd forgotten your hat at home.

“Guess what I’ve got?” Gunther was smiling, his teeth perfect white squares.

You gasped. “No. It’s already here?”

He said nothing; instead, he pushed forward a slightly battered box with dents and various smudges and marks that were telltale indicators for outside shipments.

“No way,” you said, pulling it into your hands. For a moment you debated using your nails to open the seam, but you’d just gotten them done, so you reached for a pair of scissors on the table.

“This is even more than we need,” you told Gunther, reaching in to pull out a spool of wire that shimmered under the lab lights. “Can I just hook it up now? Or is there something else I should do?”

There was, in fact, something that you should’ve done before going with your pliers and wire. Something about your model wasn’t quite right, but you’d figure that out a little too late.

You see, you and old Professor Gunther were attempting to build a prototype that would enable travel at the speed of light. It did sound insane—and you should’ve known that it was a pipe dream—but you were a space nerd with nearly limitless funding and support from one of the most famous surviving professors in the world. It had been Gunther’s pet project, one that you joined as a research assistant in your first year at the university. Once you’d caught wind of it, you couldn’t stay away, and you two quickly began to form a connection only understood by lonely and isolated academics.

“Go for it,” said Gunther, waving his hand dismissively.

Excitedly, you approached the table, your hands almost shaking as you held the wire. It was a fairly new invention, first used in the creation of Terranova and its walls to effectively make it invisible to the outside world. It boasted a variety of properties that made it academically fascinating and functionally useful. Gunther had had a suspicion that it would be useful in stabilizing the process of disseminating atoms to make light speed travel possible, so you’d placed the order for a couple of spools.

“And I think that’s it,” you said, using your pliers to shape the blunt edge that you had just clipped and plugging it into the circuit board. A purple sheen seemed to vibrate around the bundle of wires and boxes.

Gunther leaned over your shoulder, peering at everything through the spectacles perched on his pudgy nose. “Well done, dear. Say, before we turn this thing on and start running some preliminary tests, would you mind grabbing us some tea from the caf? My treat.”

“Of course,” you said, standing up and brushing your hands off. “Lapsang?”

He nodded. “And anything you’d like.”

You pulled my scarf back on, pulling it snugly around your neck and snatching your bag from the table. The walk to the cafeteria was short, but it was cold enough to require suiting up again. You ordered, paid with Gunther’s card, and sat quietly as you watched the snow fall outside.

It was a beautiful morning. The wind had died down, leaving the snow to fall from the gray skies in fat, puffy flakes. The city outside was quiet, with only the gentle hum of the occasional car to break the silence.

“Y/N! A Lapsang Souchong and a Jasmine Green?”

You leapt up and grabbed the two disposable cups, smiling widely at the barista. “Hey, would you mind throwing a bag of coffee in too?”

“Anything specific?” he asked.

“I don’t know anything about coffee,” you admitted. “Anything that isn’t decaf. It’s for my roommate.”

He nodded and rang you up for the coffee, and you were back on your way.

“My dear!” boomed Gunther when you came back, throwing the lab door open and nearly floating off the ground in excitement.

“Lapsang with a spot of honey, as always,” you said, passing the cup into his hands. The bite from the heat slowly faded from your palm—the barista had forgotten to put a sleeve on his cup.

“Lovely,” he said, setting it down next to you. “I’m just going to go ahead and flip the switch…keep your wits about you! Haha.”

“Ha,” you said, though suddenly you were getting more nervous. The longer you looked at the wires, the less sense they made. And was that two uncovered wires touching? ”Hey, wait, actually—”

Click.

A hum filled the room as the power flicked on. The bright white overhead lights flickered once, twice, and then went out. Something that smelled suspiciously like smoke filled the room.

“Fuck!” Gunther fumbled for the switch. You, similarly, lunged forward to see if you could manually disconnect the wires from the input. “It’s short circ—”

As soon as you made contact with the input wire, you heard the sound of a cup tipping over seconds before the splashing of hot tea.

Then everything went black.

~

When you awoke, it was because you were shaking so hard that your teeth were clicking painfully together.

Slowly, you pulled open my eyelids to see a brilliantly blue sky without a cloud in sight, wide and unimpeded by any skyscrapers. This was definitely not Gunther’s lab.

You groaned as feeling began to return to your body, along with a thudding headache and soreness in every joint. Gently, you pressed your weight into your fingers and slowly sat yourself up, making observations as you went.

You were not dead. Your heart was still beating and your nerves still functioned as usual. You had no idea how long you'd been lying on the ground, but it had to have been at least an hour given that the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.

Another observation: you were nowhere near Terranova.

Instead, you were in the clearing of a forest, surrounded by trees with unfamiliar trunk patterns and leaves. A thick bed of white snow coated everything in sight except for you.

You were well and truly fucked. There was nowhere even remotely nearby the city that you knew was in a fully forested area.

Though at least now you held the title of the first person alive to travel at light speed. It was a small comfort, but it was something to cling to.

A shriek sounded behind you, and you spun around, still seated on the ground. The forest line was clear, but you could hear rustling. For a moment you considered that it could be an animal, but it didn’t sound like any woodland creature. It sounded unmistakably human.

“Hello?” you called out.

The shriek came again, accompanied by more crunching—both much closer this time.

“Are you alright?” you asked, hoping your voice would carry to whoever it was. “Are you hurt?”

A mangled man suddenly came into sight as he fell into the clearing from a lopsided sprint, barreling right towards you. One of his knees was bent outwards as he went, so badly it looked broken, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down as he ran towards you.

You screamed, a real and proper one that pierced the frigid air. There was no time for to run as the man closed the gap and rammed into you, his filthy hands gripping your arms through your heavy jacket as his snapping teeth and rancid breath lunged for your neck.

Bang!

A single shot rang out. The man fell limp, slumping on top of you as you frantically snapped into motion and scrambled out from under him.

“Who the fuck are you?”

You whipped back around to see a girl standing at the other side of the clearing, a revolver in her hand and an incredibly cross expression etched into her features. She must’ve been around your age, and she had short auburn hair that barely brushed her shoulders and was being tossed about by the wind. There was a spattering of freckles across her face, muted against the backdrop of her cheeks reddened from exertion.

“Hi,” you said, your voice small and pathetic. You couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m Y/N.”

The girl just stared at you for a few more beats before turning back. “Jesse! Dina! Some help?”

You pulled your knees into your chest as you waited for whatever was to come. Now that the man was off of you, you could see that there was blood trickling from his gaping maw. Something that looked almost like shards had sprouted, like little spring buds, in little areas around his face. Even his normal, unshard-ed skin was a pallor that looked like death. Something wasn’t right here.

“Okay,” said the girl, gruffer this time. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are just waltzing in like this, but this isn’t open to the public, alright? You’re trespassing.”

“Sorry,” you said, shrinking further into yourself as you thumbed the edges of your scarf. “I didn’t know.”

“Get the hell out of here,” she said, grabbing your backpack from the ground near her feet and throwing it at you.

Two other people emerged from the trees, another girl and one guy. They all seemed roughly the same age—early 20s, maybe—and were all carrying various weapons ranging from guns to knives.

To say you were on edge would be the understatement of the century.

They spoke in hushed tones as they approached the first girl.

“I don’t understand,” the other girl said, long black locks escaping from her ponytail. “We literally just patrolled this area. There’s no way to get here without either going through the town or going over the pass, and no one’s done that.”

“And you’re sure you didn’t see her then?” The boy looked curiously at you.

“Fucking obviously,” snapped the first girl. “I think we would’ve noticed.” Then, directed at you: “Hey. How’d you even wind up here?”

“Uh….” Your mouth became dry. “Where am I again?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t even know?”

“Ellie,” warned the other girl. “Maybe she’s been out here for a while. Hypothermia can make you think crazy things.”

“She doesn’t look like she’s been out here for long,” pointed out the first girl, presumably Ellie.

“You’re right outside Jackson,” said the other girl helpfully.

“How close am I to Terranova?”

“The fuck is Terra-whatta?” Ellie frowned at you.

“Where I live,” you said. “I—I’m a student there. I was working on a project and something went wrong and then all of a sudden I woke up here and—what is that thing?” You gestured frantically at the limp body of the man beside you, the shock slowly subsiding as reality set in. “He almost killed me!”

Ellie gaped at you along with her two friends. “What do you mean, what is that thing? Have you never seen a runner before?”

“A runner?” You stared back. “These things are normal enough for you to have a name for them?”

“Oh my god,” said Ellie, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Have you, like, never been outside before?”

“No,” you said, honestly. “I’ve never left the city walls.”

“We have got to take her back with us,” said the other girl.

“Dina.” Ellie scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dina’s right,” said the guy, finally chiming in. “We can’t just leave her out here. She doesn’t even know what a runner is. She’s gonna be killed like that.”

Ellie considered, gnawing her lip. “Fine. Consider this your lucky day, Y/N. Get up.”

The first thing you did upon reaching your feet was faint once again.

~

“I told you, Joel, we just found her like this! Lying on the ground, with nothing but her bag.”

A man said something that you couldn’t quite catch.

“Yes. I went through it. No weapons, just…weird things. Like this.”

Your eyes snapped open to see Dina rooting around in your backpack, pulling out your laptop. You were laid horizontally on a table in some warmly lit home.

“Hey!” you said. She turned around, along with a tall, buff man at her side. “Be careful with that. That has all my homework on it.”

“See?” Dina whispered. “Do you think she hit her head or something, Joel?”

Joel frowned, picking up your laptop despite your protests. “I haven’t seen one of these in…I can’t even remember how long. And I’ve never seen one this slim before. Where’d you say you got this, er…”

“Y/N,” Dina supplied.

“From my university,” you said. There was a fire that crackled somewhere behind you, and it sounded comforting. “They provide all students with laptops. That’s how we do most of our schoolwork.”

“Let me guess,” said Joel. “You from the North? A place called Terra Something?”

“That’s a real thing?” Ellie came from around the corner, standing with her arms crossed. She’d changed out of her heavy winter coat and was instead wearing a dark gray hoodie with the strings tied into a bow.

“Never been there myself,” he said. “But when I was doing supply runs back in Boston we always heard whispers of a safezone in Canada. For rich assholes who had some even richer survivalist friends. The Fireflies attempted to break in for years, but they could never find it.”

“So, like a QZ?” asked Ellie, looking genuinely curious.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. No one acknowledged it.

“Not quite,” said Joel. “No FEDRA. With no military presence, I’m sure it was a hell of a lot cushier living there. Wasn’t it, Y/N?”

“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” you said. “But, yeah. I guess it was nice. It was just normal, I guess. Nothing extraordinary.”

“You’re wearing a cashmere scarf,” Joel pointed out. “That’s not what I’d call normal in the apocalypse.”

You blushed, pulling at the fringes of said black scarf. The fabric was thin and soft, impossibly warm against your bare neck. “It didn’t—it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse in Terranova.”

“And how’d you make it all the way out here?”

“I’m a research assistant for a professor attempting to invent travel at the speed of light,” you said. “We just hooked it up to a different wire today. It short-circuited and when my professor and I rushed to shut it off, he spilled his tea on me and the prototype. Next thing I knew, I woke up here.”

Joel blinked. “What now?”

“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, defensively pulling your knees to your chest. “But I’m telling the truth, honestly. Plus, look at me.” You let go of your scarf and held out your hands, letting the glow of the fire catch the immaculate pearl polish on your fingers. “Do I look like someone who’s traveled from Canada to wherever I am now?”

“She’s got a point,” said Dina, nodding thoughtfully. “It really must be nice where you come from to have hands like that. It doesn’t look like you’ve done a day of work in your life. Reckon you could take us back with you?”

Joel sent her a stern look. “What did you parents do to gain access to a place like that? You the daughter of the president or something?”

“No. They just got lucky,” you explained. “They were summering in Canada and happened to befriend the founders of Terranova right before outbreak day.”

“‘Summering’,” repeated Joel. “It’s been a while since I heard someone use a season as a verb. Somehow it’s not been long enough.”

You cringed.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing to hear that folks like your parents are still living in the lap of luxury, even after the world ended,” said Joel. “A part of me hoped that karma would get ‘em.”

“I didn’t realize how bad it was out here,” you said defensively. “They didn’t even tell me about…what was that that tried to kill me out there? Walkers?”

“Runners,” Ellie supplied. She watched you quietly from her position leaning up against the couch.

“You ran into one?” asked Joel, another wrinkle appearing in his forehead. “Ellie, have you checked her for bites?”

Ellie’s freckled face paled as she swore. “Fuck. No, I forgot. I should’ve done it in the clearing.”

“Well, better now than never. Listen, I gotta meet up with Tommy. You check ‘er. You got a gun ready, just in case?”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking thoroughly scandalized. “What do you mean, just in case?”

“I’ll be outside,” said Dina, following Joel as he left the door.

“How come it’s my job?” Ellie called after them. “No one asked me how I felt about this!”

The door banged shut in reply. She turned back to face you, her lips set into a firm line. “Fine. Take your coat off. Let’s make this quick.”

“I didn’t feel anything bite me,” you said, grabbing your knees tighter to your chest. Ellie was intimidating and scary, and you rather liked how you currently wore an extra layer of protection.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” She walked over to you, grabbing your scarf and unwinding it from your neck. “Shit. Is this what Joel called cashmere?”

“Yeah,” you said, watching as she stared at the fabric pooled in her hands. “It’s nothing special, really. Everyone wears them in Terranova.”

Ellie stared at you. “Can you stop saying Terranova? I swear it’s every third word that comes out of your mouth. I honestly couldn’t give a shit about whatever fantasyland you grew up in while the rest of us dealt with the real world.”

You opened your mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. It was discombobulating to hear a stranger swear so often at you.

Ellie knocked your hands from your knees and stared down at you. “Are you actually gonna make me take off everything myself? Do they have hired help to unzip your coats in Terra Novella?”

“Terranova.”

Ellie let out a sharp sigh, then lunged for the zipper near your throat.

“Okay, okay, fine,” you said, yanking yourself away and pulling your zipper down to reveal your standard lab outfit—a satiny button up shirt tucked into slacks. You pulled the rest of your puffer off, letting it drop in a pile next to you.

“So,” you said as Ellie grabbed your arm, gently rolling up the fabric of your blouse and turning your forearm back and forth, “Is this, like, a normal thing? To have deranged people in the woods attack you like that?”

“They’re not people,” she said quietly. Satisfied with your left arm, she moved to the next and let your unbuttoned sleeve fall. “Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

Ellie’s fingers encircled your right wrist as she fiddled with your sleeve. They were warm as they brushed across your skin, just barely touching you. “You really don’t know? I thought you at least knew about outbreak day.”

“Of course I know about outbreak day,” you said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”

Ellie arched a brow.

“They told us that it was a virus,” you added. “That it was lethal and incredibly infectious. Is that not what happened?”

“It’s not a virus, it’s a fungus,” corrected Ellie, letting go of your sleeve and stepping back as you redid the buttons at your wrist. “And it doesn’t just kill. It turns you into—into something like what you saw today. You lose your mind. The only thing that matters to you is biting everyone and spreading the infection.”

“Oh.”

“I saw you get tackled. Did your legs get scratched up at all?”

“No,” you responded, feeling thankful that you wouldn’t need to take your pants off. In that moment, literally nothing seemed more embarrassing. Your hands had begun to shake again.

“Didn’t think so.”

“If it had bitten me, would that mean that I…I would get sick too?”

“Nice going, Sherlock,” said Ellie, returning to her spot against the couch. “Really stellar reasoning skills there.”

You pulled your knees back into your chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. All this time you’d thought it was just a virus—a measly virus that killed. That it could be anything else had never occurred to you.

“Keep shaking and I’m going to start to think that you were bitten.” She smiled thinly at you from across the room.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your teeth bouncing against each other once before you clenched your jaw. “Please cut me some slack. This is just a lot to take in. If you’ll recall, I’ve just been the first person in history to undergo atomic dissolution and reassembly. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.”

“Welcome to the club,” said Ellie, her eyes narrowed. “It’s a wonder any of us are alive.”

Your lips pressed tightly together as you sat, trying your best not to lose it at her. You’d always been brought up to be kind, to be forgiving and sweet and polite. After all, there was never any reason not to be. Terranova’s culture put a heavy emphasis on keeping the peace no matter what. Your parents rarely ever raised their voices. Your professors kindly and respectfully asked their pupils to settle down if they were too noisy, but since you were all brought up with impeccable manners, such instances were few and far between. It just wasn’t a thing to chew strangers out. Such behavior was only reserved for extraordinary situations of the like you’d never experienced. Speaking of manners…

“Thank you,” you said, finally. Yeah, you could be the bigger person.

Ellie’s gaze snapped up to you, her brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“For saving me,” you clarified, avoiding her eyes. They were uncomfortably piercing. “Sorry. I should’ve thanked you earlier. That was rude of me. And I’m also sorry for just barging in here. I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Trust me, I would do anything to be back home right now.”

“I bet you would.” Her eyes dropped briefly to your hands, unblemished and smooth as they clutched your knees. Not even a cuticle was out of place, a result of your weekly manicures and daily lotion habit.

“Sorry,” you said again, feeling heat rise in your cheeks once again. “I probably sound so insufferable and spoiled to you.”  

“Just—” She paused, frowning. “Just stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, or whatever.” The words seemed to pain her.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. Now that you’d had a moment to draw in a few deep breaths, your hands were steady once again.

“Quarantine Zone,” said Ellie. “Established by what was left of the government for those of us normal people. There are a couple scattered around the country in the big cities.”

“Did you live in one? What’re they like?”

She was about to answer when the door banged open.

“Ellie!” Dina’s voice was breathless. “Joel wants me and you to go out and finish the patrol route together. She alright?”

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, hanging your legs off the table and reaching for your puffer.

“God, I fucking love that shirt,” said Dina. “Can I touch it? It looks so soft.”

You had a feeling that you would get on well with her. “Sure.”

“It’s not that soft,” said Ellie from the couch.

“Shut up, Ellie!” Dina walked over to you, grabbing the dangling fabric from your loose sleeves and letting it thread through her fingers. “Sorry about her, Y/N. She’s just like that sometimes.”

“Dina!”

Dina ignored Ellie’s protests, giving you a look full of mirth as she stepped back. “For the record, it was that soft.”

“You couldn’t wear it anywhere,” argued Ellie. “It looks ridiculous. Infected would just snag right onto the sleeves. That’s only if you didn’t get tangled up in a tree from all that loose fabric first.”

“There’s not an abundance of trees or sick fungus people in my research lab,” you said awkwardly. “So that’s not really something that crossed my mind when I got ready this morning.”

“Ha!” Dina’s eyes scrunched. “Ellie, be nice. Maybe she’ll claim us both as her long-lost sisters and get us into wherever she came from, but she’s not gonna if you keep acting like this.”

“It’s okay,” you said, shrugging. “I get it. I can’t even begin to imagine how much different your lives are out here. And, I mean, I probably could if you wanted. I’m pretty sure that all you need is a connection and a negative test for whatever the fungus is called.”

“See?” Dina gestured towards you. “Listen to her. She’s so wholesome.”

“I’d be wholesome too if I led the kind of life where I didn’t know about the infected and got to wear dumb shirts like that all day.”

Dina huffed. “Listen, Y/N, Ellie and I are gonna finish up with patrolling. I’m assuming you want to stay in Jackson until you figure everything out?”

You nodded. “If that’s alright. I don’t mean to impose.”

“We’ll talk to Maria and Tommy once we get back and see about getting you set up somewhere temporarily,” said Dina. “For now, you can just stay at Ellie’s until we finish up. Sound good?”

“Dina!” protested Ellie. “You’re just gonna leave her here unattended without even asking me?”

“What’s she gonna do? Ransack the town? With what weapon, Ellie? Her bare hands? She looks like she’d be blown over if I breathed too hard in her direction.”

You flushed. Sure, you’d never really seen much of a point of bulking up and working out when you were nothing but a student who spent all of her time goofing off with wires and telescopes, but it was humbling to have it pointed out so blatantly.

“She wouldn’t make it a day outside,” continued Dina. “I don’t think she’s stupid enough to try anything. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

You blinked. “I mean, yeah. I’ve never spent a day without electricity and hot running water, so I’m not really clambering to leave and live in the woods.”

Ellie sighed sharply. “Fine. Cool. Whatever. Just stay where you are, okay? And don’t even think about touching anything.”

~

By the time that she returned with Joel, you were sitting at the table, 2 chapters deep into the one textbook you’d brought along with you for one of your courses.

“Glad to see the house still standing,” Joel quipped as he worked his heavy coat off his shoulders and pulled his boots off. Ellie trailed behind him, hanging up her coat and pulling off a pair of black gloves. “Ellie was concerned you’d raze the whole town.”

“I’m honored that she thinks me so capable,” you said in response, wincing as you had to dogear your textbook, your bookmarks and sticky notes tucked safely in your dorm desk far away.

Ellie sent you an irritated look before her gaze dropped to the textbook in your lap. It lingered for a moment, just long enough for you to know that she was reading the title Exoplanetary Systems.

“Tommy and Maria have decided to let you stay until you get back on your feet,” said Joel, oblivious to the hostility coming from Ellie. “There’s a cottage down the street that’ll be ready for you to move into soon. For now, you can stay with us. There’s an extra room across the hall from Ellie’s.”

“That’s too kind of you,” you said, your voice smooth and gracious after years of having your manners picked apart by your parents.  

Joel looked mildly uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah. Don’t mention it. You know how to ride a horse?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Good,” said Joel. “Can you shoot, too?”

You stared. “Uh, shoot what?”

“A gun,” said Ellie slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her mouth contorted into a scowl. She did not seem overjoyed at the prospect of a new housemate.

“No,” you said. Your ears felt like they were on fire. “There’s, uh, a strict ban on guns in Terr–where I grew up. There was no reason to shoot anything.”

Joel whistled. “Well, imagine that. So maybe we won’t put you on patrol just yet. We’ll find something else for you to do. Got any other skills?”

Before you answered, Joel picked up your bag and peered inside of it. “Say, is this a bag of coffee?”

He pulled out the bag of coffee grinds that you’d picked up at the cafe.

“Yeah!” you said. “Before the, uh, accident, my professor sent me to get him tea from the cafeteria. I ended up picking those up since my roommate and I were out. You drink coffee?”

“Not much anymore,” said Joel, picking up the bag and weighing it back and forth. “It’s hard to come by out here. You have to pay an arm and a leg to get just a bit. I haven’t seen a bag like this since before the outbreak.”

“It’s yours,” you said quickly. “I don’t even really like coffee. I just drank it because my roommate would make me a cup.”

Joel shook his head and placed it back in your bag. “No, I couldn’t do that. I’d probably have to trade my whole arsenal plus a horse to get something this big.”

“Please, I insist,” you said. “It’s the least I can do. It’s just going to sit in my bag anyway. You’d appreciate it more.”

“Well…” Joel gave you a considering look. “I s’pose this could cover your work for a few weeks until either we find another job for you or Ellie teaches you to shoot.”

“Joel!” Ellie interjected. “I have my own shit to do.”

“That’s really generous of you,” you said, smiling at Joel. “But you could honestly just take the bag—no need to offer any reimbursement.”

Joel grunted and picked the bag up again, slinging it onto the counter behind him. “Maria’s never gonna believe me until she sees this. Full bag of monsoon malabar…didn’t even think they had that shit anymore…” He continued to mumble to himself as he shuffled around, opening and closing cabinets behind you.

When you looked back up, Ellie was staring again at your book, a line in her brow.

“You can borrow it, if you’d like.” You pushed the book towards her as a poor attempt to call a truce between you two. “It’s not like I actually need to do the reading anymore. I’m already missing lecture.”

You winced at the thought of getting behind in your classes. In the very likely case you weren’t getting back in the next few days, you’d probably need to take a gap semester and return in the fall, delaying your graduation date another 4 months. Your parents were going to kill you. This was going to create an unfillable hole in your resume. “Shooting a gun” and “riding horses” were not acceptable activities to explain away why you took a whole season off.

“No thanks,” said Ellie, pushing it back to you. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”

“It’s about solar systems outside of our locale,” you continued. “There’s a bunch of them. It’s actually really interesting.”

“It doesn’t really sound like it,” she said, but there was no venom behind her voice—just something that sounded like exhaustion.  

“Maybe not.” You sighed, deflated. So much for a white flag. “I guess it must seem pretty ridiculous to you.”

Ellie stood there, her arms still crossed and her frown deep. “Joel,” she said, speaking over your shoulder, “I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Joel. You could hear him bustling around in what you assumed was a kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the gas top stove.

When you turned back around, Ellie was already out the door, coat slung over her arm as she shut it.

Before the door closed entirely, her eyes snapped up to meet yours like she knew you’d been watching her.

She was gone before you had the chance to lift your hand to wave goodbye.

again apologies for this if you’ve made it this far. please confiscate my laptop. part 2 coming soon (?) if u want also im not an astrophysics student im a thickheaded cs student who barely survived ap physics so im sorry if i’m doing a disservice to the academic field of astronomy idk shit about it 

[loves0phelia]

Can you do a Matt Murdock metting reader and they hit it off instantly.

( Btw this is my first requesting something )

Promise

Summery: the request

Words: 1.6k

Warnings: alcohol, grammar mistakes (always)

A/N: thank you for requesting I love matt so much and writing for him makes me so happy, also this is far from perfect so i hope you will like it anyway xxx

After a long day at work all you wanted to do was crash, and curl in bed with cheap ramen from a cup, while watching one of your recent favorite shows. Unfortunately, that idea was forgotten when your best friend Celia invited you to a local bar called Josies claiming to need a girls night out.

At first you almost faked being sick or having a late night appointment but you realized it wouldn't be possible to deny your friend.

She knew you were not a going out kind of person, so any excuses would not convince her.

“Come on Y/n, just one drink and I swear if you don't like it we're leaving” she tried reassuring you, and you made a face of disagreement but still followed her in anyways after the breeze made a shiver travel your entire body. That made you realize you should've brought a jacket.

When you entered you immediately noticed the strong smell of beer and whiskey. It was almost overwhelming but the scent kinda matched the looks of the bar which made it feel homey.

“What are you two girls taking?” A lady behind the bar, who was previously wiping a dirty glass asked us.

“I think we'll both take a beer” Celia turned to confirm with you and you nodded.

“Good cause beer and whiskey’s all we got” she grumbled and picked up two bottled beers from underneath the counter where you assumed a fridge was.

Soft jazz music was playing in the background and you could hear the people chit chatting and clinking their bottles. Celia took a sip of her drink and after analyzing around the place she gasped loudly.

“Oh my God y/n It's Matt and Foggy!” she clapped her hands happily.

“Who?” you asked and looked behind you trying to map where her friends were.

“You know,  the guys from the law firm! I worked with them on a case with Marci” Realization became clear on your face after she reminded you.

A couple months ago her colleague Marci had needed help finding information about Wilson Fisk to help her boyfriend’s firm, Nelson and Murdock, and Celia had volunteered. Obviously she had told you all about the sexy blind lawyer who would be “perfect” for you.

”Come on! i'll present them to you” she jumped down her stool and began dragging you to them.

“Celia please no, they are probably trying to enjoy a night together let's not bother them” you tried tugging yourself back but she wouldn't allow it.

“You're too nice, you know that?” Celia replied and before you could beg again one of the two guys, who you assumed was foggy, raised from his chair by the pool table and screamed her name, inviting you over.

“Foggy, Matt, heyy” she said happily, hugging them while you stood awkwardly behind her.

You were always the more introverted one in the duo, but she always tried to bring you out of your comfort zone.

“This is y/n, you know my best friend I told you about” you lifted your hand giving them a small wave and immediately regretted it when you remembered one of them could not see it.

”Hi” your voice was barely above a whisper but you were ignorant to the fact that Matt could hear you loud and clear.

“You guys want a round of shots? Matt and I were just about to get some” the long haired friend suggested and Celia immediately agreed. The two of them left to go back by the bar leaving you and the handsome lawyer alone.

“Y/n right?” his voice surprised you. It was deep but angelic.

“Y-yes” your words caught in your throat now feeling more shy than ever.

“It’s a beautiful name, im Matt but i'm pretty sure you already knew that” he laughed and it was like you had never heard a prettier sound. You nodded your head, unable to utter any words.

“You just nodded didn't you?” your cheeks flushed instantly embarrassed, your eyes grow triple their size.

“I did, I am so sorry, I dont know whats wrong with me” you shake your head and slapped your forehead with your palm the sound echoing loudly in your ears.

“It's okay, it happens all the time” his smile never left his lips.

“That doesn't help” your face was red like a tomato.

“Dont worry about it” his hand laid itself on top of your naked thigh only the tip of his fingers came in contact with your silk dress, his soft touch warmed your skin.

“Silk?” he asked curiously, still running his digits over the fabric.

“Yea when Celia said we were going to the bar i didn't really know what to wear” you snorted now realizing silk was definitely too formal for a bar.

“It's very soft, i like it” once again a charming smile came onto his lips.

“thank you” you smiled back unaware he could feel the heat coming off your body at this very moment.

“We're back! sorry it took so long josie wouldn't let us have our best customer discount again” Foggy pout but put the tray of 6 shots down on the sticky table.

“Drink up guys!” Celia clinked her glass with Foggy’s and then yours and then Matt’s (which cause a small splash of the whiskey to escape down to the floor)

the second the strong liquid came in contact with your tongue, your eyes clenched in pain because of the burn. 

“How can people drink that? it's disgusting” you said and everyone at the table laughed at your sudden outburst.

“It takes a lot of getting used to and a best friend who forces you to drink it” Matt’s hand squeezed your knee while the other two were already getting ready for the second one.

“I guess…” you hesitantly picked up your last shot and on the count of three you repeated the suffering progress.

After hours of chatting and laughing it was already 3 am which meant the bar was closing.

“I'm going to take a cab home, anyone wants to share one?” Celia said while gathering her belongings.

“I think I'm going to walk, my apartment is not too far,” you replied forgetting about the freezing wind outside.

“Are you sure? you know it's supposed to rain also there are some weird people in the street at this hour” she said almost in a motherly way.

“Yes I'm sure, anyway daredevil might save me if I get attacked” you joked and hugged her tightly while she rolled her eyes at you.

“I wouldn't mind taking a cab actually, I need to go back to Marci’s” a drunk Foggy wiggled his eyebrows.

“What about you Matt? need a ride?” he added to his previous statement.

“No, I think I'll walk y/n home. if that's alright?” he gently grabbed your elbow as he unfolded his white cane.

“Of course,” you smiled.

The two drunks said their goodbyes and walked out the door to the yellow cab waiting for them outside as you and Matt started walking back to your house in a comfortable silence.

A shiver traveled your body for the second time during the night and Matt felt your goosebumps raise on your arm as he held it.

He stopped abruptly making you look at him confused as he started removing his suit jacket.

“Here put this on” he draped it over your shoulder and you accepted it wordlessly admiring his beauty and generosity.

He grabbed your elbow again and you both continued the path to your apartment.

After about 10 minutes you spoke up, now seeing your apartment building

“This is me”

“Am i the only one who's disappointed the walk was so short?” he asked while rubbing his thumb on your arm.

You giggled before replying that you were also sad it was cut so shortly.

“You could come upstairs if you want?” Hopefully, you wished he accepted the offer.

“I think it's better if i don't” he sighed and your heart dropped slightly.

“I want to, but tomorrow I have this case I need to work on, and I think that if I came upstairs I wouldn't be able to leave in the morning” his hands were now holding your waist as if he was having his own inner battle whether he should come up or not.

“It's okay I understand” you whispered and he leaned his forehead against yours as if he was wishing you would have asked him to come up anyway.

thunder roared above you.

“You should go before it starts raining” you said and he shaked his head in disagreement.

“Can I kiss you before I go?” His tone was so low.

“please” you pleaded before his plumped lips connected with yours.

His head tilted to the side to deepen the kiss and his hand went up to the back of your head.

Your lips parted allowing his tongue to make its way inside your mouth. Your hands traveled to his hair as well, earning a small growl from him, while you started to feel the cold rain drip down your back and hair.

you broke apart and smiled seeing his red tinted glasses crooked. Slowly you lifted them off his face to see his beautiful amber eyes that had a twinkle in them.

“I should probably give you this, back” you started removing the now drenched jacket but he stopped you.

“Keep it, I'll come get it tomorrow” he smiled and eagerly pressed another kiss to your lips.

“That's a promise?” you whispered against his mouth.

“It's a promise”

[pagodazz]

Ethan you should do Patrick anderson headcanons

THANK YOU MOON I LOVE YOU.

Here we go.

PATRICK ANDERSEN HCS.

he's sososososo special to me and he's so . real and relatable I love him.

DIVERSITY WIN!!! the entity connected to your brother is GAY!!!

Just had to get that one out of the way, and now I can continue.

To me Patrick is someone who is so so UNBELIEVABLY convinced he's a being made for only hate and evil, when in reality he's capable of something more.

I find him to be one of the most interesting slenderverse characters, I mean, he genuinely goes from being feral to remembering every life he's lived and he's just so defeated. he's so alone. He's not human but he's not an absolute monster y'know? and I think being so attached to Michael definitely taught him love.

Patrick is a being full of so much sorrow, he keeps a smile on his face while he knows he'll never get that happy ending he dreams of.

He's SO human for something that is NOT human at all. and HABIT was right for saying that.

-----------------

THIS MAN HAS DISCO FEVER. I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

he THRIVED in the 70s, that's when he was his best. And I firmly believe that's when he realized that humanity could actually be worth something.

Patrick is FULL of funk. I don't know if that makes any sense to anyone, but it does to me. He's genuinely the type of guy to have a victim tied up and he's just dancing to disco music right in front them with the weapon of his choosing and they have no choice but to sit and watch this wannabe theater kid go crazy.

He's so obnoxious but I think it's absolutely amazing. I bet he absolutely KILLED IT in the clubs back in the day.

-----------------

Despite popular belief, Patrick genuinely loves Shaun. Shaun is Patricks everything next to Michael. I think that if he wasn't so afraid of rushing Shaun's death, they would've been alot closer.

They're not siblings in every iteration, but I like to think most of the time they are. I like to think that there was a time that Patrick got to actually love Shaun, but he realized that no matter what he does, he's just going to lose them anyways, so what even is the point?

Although, I genuinely don't think he expected HABIT to cut Shaun up, that REALLY fucking killed Patrick.

Vinnie and HABIT really fucked with the timeline and i mean, that's what Patrick wanted. That's WHY he warned Vinnie back in the 80s.

So I think he blames himself entirely for the loss of both stormy and Shaun. And I mean he's not exactly wrong which is the worst part for him. it quite literally is his fault this keeps happening.

Hes a sick selfish parasite who does nothing but spread diseases to those he cares about.

------------------

Patrick can play many instruments I know that for sure, and I think he can sing.

He's always had just the heart of a performer in him. Like if he had his choice, or his freedom, he would take the first opportunity to climb onto a stage and show off his talents as if to say; "LOOK AT ME!!! IM WORTH SOMETHING!! I HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE!!"

Because I think no matter what Patrick is always going to remain hungry for attention, and to be loved by many. He wants his chance in the spotlight, he wants his time to shine, and he's gonna do anything he can to get that moment. he KNOWS there's no escaping and no stopping what goes on, but he might as well make himself WORTH something.

--------------

I believe that Patrick has known a previous iteration of the emh guys, (this IS canon, but I think they were friends, and VERY close) But I think that Patrick and Vinnie were the closest.

there's just something about the way he talks to Vinnie in the Princeton tapes, it's as if he's known him his whole life. like he knows exactly what makes Vinnie tick and how he acts and how he'd answer him.

And sure you could say that it was the collective giving that kind of information out, but I would have to DISAGREE!!!!!!!!

Patrick feels solidarity with Vinnies situation and I really like the way they contrast each other.

Vinnie is just a guy who's more like a monster and Patrick is a monster who is more like a guy.

I like them. alot.

------------

I HAVE SO MANY MORE SO PLEASE DONT BE AFRAID TO ASK ME FOR HCS. I LOVE GETTING THEM AND ANSWERING THEM

[do-i-look-like-a-doctor]

okay but the Naruto universe is so fucking weird yet funny if you explain it and question it.

first, you have this lil orphan broke kid ninja boy named after a fishroll. then, you have an emo kid who acts like he got parents and a good way in life despite the fact he’s equally as much of an orphan as Mr. Broke-Blonde-Bitch. THEN you have this normal chick with pink hair who signed up for absolutely none of this nonsense yet got dragged into it. tell me why it’s these three against the world yet none of them can function together? it’s like watching ferrets hyped up on PCP fight over raw spaghetti noodles. dont even get me started when they were in school together, i can bet every person here 6 cents that at some point Sakura aka Ms. Fuckall got tired of Naruto and Sasuke’s bullshit and just tried to abandon them at an animal shelter.

speaking of school and general tomfoolery, why was the dude in charge of these three young squishy brained freaks the most depressed 20 something year old creature on the planet? i will admit, Kakashi is attractive and a great dude. he is so iconic, he misses his old team, and it’s clear he wanted best for his Group of Weird Children but he also reads porn all day and his mask probs smells like cheap aftershave.

if i was a 13 year old ninja child and i saw my sensai (who’s name sounds like cashew) doing all that i’d assume im either about to learn a sick ass skill (how to not cope with emotional trauma properly) or im about to get my ass handed to me. or im about to dropout.

back on track. so you’ve got orphan #1, orphan #2, Ms. Get-Me-Out-Of-Here, and Emotionally Repressed Man in one team. what do the kids do? beef for like 3048384 episodes. what does Kakashi do? try to teach them the power of friendship the entire damn series. oh, and let’s not forget that Naruto apparently has a demon fox inside him because of course he does.

anyways, once the team gets good at teaming they haul off to take their lil ninja exams. who do they meet? some kid named Gaara with smudged eyeliner and shaved brows. he’s a red-head, that’s cute. oh and he can control sand and tries to kill every child in the exams because his dad is a piece of shit hipster. who else do they meet? a kid named Rock Lee who can kick really hard, a girl named Tenten who wishes for all of us to stfu, and poor Neji who can’t keep doing this. there’s also some guy named Guy. yeah, the chunin exams nearly flop because Gaara doesn’t know how to act right.

all this is happening but the pivotal of it all? Sasuke decides to be extra emo and FUCKS OFF TO KILL HIS HALF BLIND SICKLY OLDER TWINK BROTHER.

then, Naruto decides he wants to harness his powers and FUCKS OFF WITH AN OLD ASS BUSHY HAIRED MAN WHO WRITES PORN. Jiraiya needs to be studied on a microscopic spiritual level. he is why SCP’s exist.

who let these kids out? i told you all not to feed the animals and look what happened. now theres beef between a group of kids and the akatsuki.

oh and the akatsuki?? don’t get me started. wtf is that. why is this group of fucked up people with weird powers who are being led by a ginger hive mind of corpses just wandering around? and why is Weasel, aka Itachi, in the middle of it with his goofy explosive hypnotic eyeballs? i want them all put down.

so you’ve got the evil eldirch horrors in the streets. thats fine. Naruto gets put into a new gang cuz Kakashi has to hospitalized. cool, whatever. Naruto decides to start hutning down his rogue boyfriend alongside Sakura, who became a sickass ninja doctor, along with his new sensei Yamato. wonderful… THEN SOME BITCH NAMED SAI SHOWS UP.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED.

what is that? why is it emo? why is its tongue tattooed? put it back outside bro i stg. i love him so much.

everything is just everywhere in this anime bro I can’t. Sasuke is no where to be seen, Naruto is doing fuckall across the world with his groupie, Kakashi is lowkey sad again cuz his kids are gone, and Sakura can barely breathe without issues occurring.

not just that but the twink brother named Weasel is being stupid and enables his own murder. yeah he basically wants Sasuke to come for his ass. meanwhile, Naruto comes home bigger, better, older but still broke and full of fox demon. still, not a single soul except his friends and teachers like him. shit gets even more wild, it becomes knock-off Cheetah Girls vs. The World.

girl i gotta go before i hurt someone. see yall in part 2.

(all of this is heavily unedited, apologies for mistakes)

[hanatagami]

Twilight Characters with a GN! Light Fairy Reader

Twilight cullens with a light fairy reader. The fairies are based off of fate the winx saga ones, just because their powers are pretty cool. The show kinda sucks tho, but im an original winx fan so im a little protective of the original lmao. I might do other fairy types as well, and maybe with more characters idk yet

Edward Cullen

this man is. SO enraptured by you and your entire existence. He truly believes with all his heart you don’t belong with him, and it’s honestly kind of heart-breaking.

your like a symbol of everything he isn’t and he can’t help but remark to himself about the irony of it all.

ur a creature of the light, he can’t let others see him in light at risk of death by volturi. You have a temporary life-span(albeit long), he is immortal. ur whole existence is to be loved by nature, and he is supposed to be the top of the food chain predator.

ur the exact opposite of like everything he loathes about himself, why would you even consider being with him

but he gazes in awe of the way you can hold light in your palms, how the light hits your face and enhances every perfection, that you seem to almost glow in it, your entire aura radiating inviting warmth.

he just can’t seem to pull himself away from you, despite how much he believes you don’t belong together. he would be a fool to reject your love

he loves to play piano and watch you dance in the light peeking through the windows, orbs of light dancing around with you like a thousand tiny personal spotlights

the way he could watch you in your guyses meadow forever, you sitting amongst the flowers showing off by making a tiny rainbow in your hands, a little light show. the indescribable warmth he feels as all the colors hit your smiling face, he knows you have him wrapped around your finger, but he doesn’t want it any other way

dont even get me started on when he sees your wings. i imagine wings of light fairies are wings that are never the same color from one second to the next. your wings fluctuate from all colors of the light spectrum and to see you fly with them is like the most magical thing hes ever seen in his 100 something years of life

any comfort or desire you have on behalf of yourself or fairy traits, like maybe stones that absorb sun energy, plants for nature, literally anything, he’s pulling out that edward cullen card and buying everything

he would definitely buy plants anyways. he likes to see you bend rays of light and things to tend to the plants and it just makes him so happy

theres a fun little game you play, where you turn invisible and he tries to find you in the forest via your thoughts and other senses. when he finds you, he gives you a cheeky smile and a kiss. it’s kinda fun when he thinks he found you but your actually behind him or smth, you get to spook him a little and its very funny to see

Emmett Cullen

this little shit

to be honest i don’t think he’d notice your a fairy until you told him

but when he found out he was like “sick”

he’s suddenly very cautious physically, thinks you might be very frail or squish easy

until you tell him that absorbing the light makes you stronger so it’s fine

he’s very curious to see the capabilities and limits you have as a fairy. primarily, are you stronger then a human? if so he kinda wants to wrestle you

see whose stronger. his pride might be a little damaged if your able to win, he’d mumble something about a vampire being weaker then a fairy isn’t very cool, but i think he warms up to the thought very quickly and begins to find it kick ass

wants to see if you could beat jasper and edward in a fight too, and if you win he’s gonna be so proud of you

he feels like a very good match to you. while it isn’t necessarily super cool that vampires sparkle, he loves that in a way it matches you

orbs of light surrounding you like a bunch of stars, casting light on him and making him sparkle, like you guys are the lights of each others life or smth romantic like that

he’s not a poet

but he can’t help but grin cockily when you create a small orb in your hands just to watch how his hands and arms sparkle, he’s suddenly very proud with his sparkling ability

he’s asking-no begging- for you to pick him up and fly him around forks or the forest or anything. he wants to fly, jumping high isn’t the same

and you dont have to be afraid of dropping him! he’ll be fine!

you have to be careful, cause sometimes he’s a little too proud of you, he might accidentally spill a secret to someone while bragging about you

like “you should see how they look when playing with the light” and your like “EMMETT SHHH-” and just hope they think he’s talking about a ringlight or lighting in a picture or smth

he truly understands nothing on how fairies work, might buy a couple of scam things online on accident, in hopes of them being of some use to you

your vampire boyfriend just thinks your so cool, he wants to pick you up by the waist and hold up in front of everyone and go “look at my fairy s/o, aren’t they cool”

jasper hale

now major whitlock over here

he’s kinda like edward, he’s done a lot of bad in his life, something as innocent as a fairy truly can’t be into him

though its hard not to interact with someone who feels such a strong love for him

he doesn’t even have to feel it, cause you can show it via bright pink lights

you don’t allow him to brood on it to much

you do help him adress his past faults tho

he’s not proud of being in the confederate army, and thats something you had to establish very early on in the relationship

he helps you with magic training when you tell him emotions play into magic output

he feels this very innocent joy at being able to enhance your powers via boosting certain emotions

like the light you produce together is a product of your love, its a very wholesome feeling

he likes seeing how emotions effect your powers, how the colors change, fluctuating between a couple shades of one color depending on the emotions

how they differ in brightness, sadness being more dim, but things like happiness and anger being ridiculously bright

the light even moves differently, sometimes being more flowy and graceful, others being more fast and jagged

he’s kind of a history buff, so he is so interested in the history of fairies

the traditions and customs, and how they came to be

he could literally sit and listen to you talk about it all day, how fairies have had impacts on the world and human history that they had no idea about

how myths and legends of old are because someone saw a fairy, you being able to tell the full truthful stories and make them sound so interesting

he always compared alice to a fairy, but now that he knows one, he can’t help laugh to himself whenever you guys talk to each other

thinking as to how he was right in some areas, wrong in others

please let him dance with you

he wants to teach you so bad

swing dancing, line dancing, literally anything please

like swing dancing can be so intricate now cause he can literally throw you and you can do stuff in the air

the country man in him is so excited

he would show off if he had any country friends still alive from then

Carlisle Cullen

is curious in the medical facts of fairies fepoefsj

kinda cant help it, he;s been a doctor so long, and its mostly him wondering if you get injured if he can help you the same way he does humans

because he’s seen a lot of pain in people, and if what he usually does can’t help you like it did them, it might distress him a little

will feel much better when you enlighten on the best way to care for a fairy

also interest in hearing about the political dynamics of fairy kind

mostly if their anything like the volturi and if he should be concerned about them knowing about you

loves to see you interact with his children, you seem to be very wise and in tune with the feelings of others

you would very quickly become another parent to them, and it was clear you had final word in the house fepskf

loves when you surprise in his office at work by suddenly appearing out of thin air

or when he’s working and suddenly feels a kiss on his cheek and nothing else

the nurses all giggling at the joyful smile on his face, not knowing its because his s/o came for a single second just for a kiss before letting him get back to work, it makes his day that much better

hunting could be a little easier with your synergy with animals, but he would never ask that of you

loves to see you try on clothes, using your powers to view outfits at different light levels and angles

thinks your flawless in all of them, so be careful if your trying clothes on at the store

he’d buy the entire store-

considered buying you an entire forest too, but you claimed the forest belonged to the earth so he didn’t

you force the entire family out to secluded places in the woods and other places when its sunny, wanting to share its good energy with your family

the sight of his family playing around with each other in the sun, lead by his most favorite person makes him feel like he could take on the entire volturi

and yeah the volturi kinda see you as a threat, your powers alone could reveal a lot of vampire even at night

but they wont do anything at the risk of a species based war, they know so little about fairies that killing you and potentially making others angry could be very dangerous

plus the promise of a temporary, although very long, life length reassures them a little

carlisle would worship like you floated down from the sun and directly into his arms like some sort of celestial being

and he told you that, and the way your face and eyes lit up made him swear he’d never stop saying things like that to you

[its-the-sa]

I'd love to hear your interpretations on those dreams at the end of artificer's campaign, the ones where you're trapped in a hallway with a scav and you have to kill them.

Personally, it's very interesting to me that in some of them, the player is the one controlling the scavenger (imagine a dream where you're someone else and it's you that's the killer, that's fucked up). I like to imagine that they began as basically arti's bloodlust carrying over to her dreams, but over time they got more complex, more detailed. Less of a violent fantasy and more of a reoccurring nightmare, maybe a symbol of her regret or a general disgust for senseless violence.

I have a headcanon where the dreams eventually make arti so sick to the stomach at the idea of violence she decides to give it up entirely, only fighting to kill something to eat. It's how I felt after finishing her campaign- I was so exhausted from the fight with the chieftain that once I won, I didn't have it in me to go around killing any more scavengers. I just felt bad for them and watched them run away from me. I couldn't do it anymore.

THIS THIS THIS!!! seriously, so many people seem to think that arti just genuinely enjoys murdering scavs, and... i mean i kinda get where theyre coming from, but to me it seems pretty clear that she is just constantly re-traumatizing herself.

like yes, she is consumed by rage, and im sure she does get satisfaction from killing them in the heat of the moment. but afterwards, i think it definitely haunts her. i imagine she tries to tell herself that 'they're all the same' and 'they deserve it', but she knows deep down that isn't true. she just keeps choosing violence because it's easier than accepting her loss. just like some people try to drown their sorrows in drugs or alcohol, arti tries to drown hers in blood. it's a self-destructive coping mechanism. as long as she is out there fighting for her life, finding enemies to hate and kill, she doesnt have to sit with her pain. but, once she goes to sleep, she cant run from her demons anymore. she has to relive her trauma and her grief, and she has to face the twisted monster she's allowed it to turn her into. theyre called 'nightmares' for a reason, after all-- they aren't fantasies about something she enjoys doing. even in the ones where she is still 'herself', she is trapped as surely as the scavenger is. theres no going back at that point. she has already dug herself into a hole where there is no choice but to keep killing.

and the ones where she is dreaming from the scav's point of view? that is like... the most perfectly brutal representation of repressed guilt i have ever seen. it shows that she on some level sympathizes and identifies with the scavengers she kills, that she's horrified at what she has become, and that she is inevitably destroying herself. all just by simply changing who the player is controlling. its freaking brilliant tbh.

anyway, i think that ultimately arti just feels guilty. she blames herself for not protecting her pups. she didnt watch them closely enough, she dropped them when she was running away, she didnt realize the blue pup got left behind at first, and she couldn't dive in the water to save the green pup. she feels like she failed them. so i think that once she took revenge on those toll scavs, the only person she had left to punish was herself. and she did it by going on to project her guilt onto every scavenger she saw. she chose to become a monster because thats what she felt she deserved to be treated like

[howlsnteeth]

hi, just wanted you to know that if you ever wanted to like. interest-dump about cotl and your thoughts about the lore/storyline and stuff as ive seen you show in your art, id read PARAGRAPHS. im so curious and love to hear about people's interest in game/story/media lore and the interpersonal relationships within the universe!!! - from an autistic system who has loved your art since like. forever. (u can call us moss)

okay hi moss :3

i'm kind of due for an infodump on my cotl headcanons, so! i'll try be somewhat concise because this is going to be a long post anyway rip. i drew some pictures :D

(i can't really think of any warnings to give outside of usual cotl themes/killed race/dying/blood/etc but let me know)

obviously watching the destruction of your entire race is traumatic as fuck, also because it likely took a few weeks or months to achieve. so they died pretty underweight/weak bodied/pretty shut down. the bishops are gone by the time lamb is revived by toww, and their body hadn't quite made it to a 'body pit' (or food pit). still, they get Their Bell from another of their race on the way out. probably weren't thinking about it too hard and just desperately wanted to grab something while their eyes burned in their sockets and this red crown fit like molded clay in their hand. my lamb has a little notch out of their left ear which was caused while escaping, which ends up never healing because of a few reasons but mostly because i like it.

over the course of the game/story they start to slowly physically change. after revival it takes scars a Long time to fade, considering lamb is technically a walking corpse, and also because of their affiliation with Death (narinder, who has similar i'll mention later). they get dark marked lines under their eyes from that classic 'bleeding eyes' action during rituals/etc. their ears but especially horns get longer and sharper. their way of coping is similar to most lambs, jokes and pulled punches.

by the end of the 'main game/toww fight,' they've already made their choice, and start flexing their control/communication with the red crown itself. it gets harder for toww to view through it, and lamb gets somewhat intoxicated with the idea of an ultimate revenge, having killed all the other bishops. they've done everything they can to stop their cult members noticing signs of weakness, but as things get more stressful this kind of rubberbands around to them seeming extremely unstable. by the time they go to fight toww they're muttering nonstop, barely aware, and also they let their wool get longer and basically end up with a mullet. <3 because it's funny to me

they obviously beat toww and for them it's like a smashing of clarity, like a gripped handle let go, standing up from the river of blood. it's freeing but also the most pain they've ever been in. and instead of killing toww this pit in their stomach spares him. lamb went from a corpse to a god and now, in some sick way, they want to watch a god turn into a living corpse, just like them. because with every other sheep dead, narinder is the only one with a connection to that genocide, the cause of the other bishops doing it.

narinder hates their fucking guts. obvs. he thinks, or knows, that lamb is doing it on purpose. but narinder's body hasn't been normal for far, far too long. even before he was made death (as in artworks i've done with him), his body turned skeletal and rotted away. lacerations open all over his body, but especially down his front torso. when he's first brought to the cult, lamb gives him red robes, also because of this 'problem'. but narinder does every single thing he can against them. he gets white robes and lets them turn bloodied and disturbing to everyone around him.

even washing them stops working, and lamb does resign slightly to letting him sit in his dirty stupid robes. it's the pettiest shit. narinder also keeps his veil, and lamb can't bother with a reason to take it away. let that dumbass keep his yuck robes and veil. you can only stick him the stockade for a week before your other followers get too concerned.

over time, they do end up getting closer, but it comes from a place from both being touched and changed by Death, the red crown, and the choices of the other bishops. it takes a really long time and only after all the other bishops have been recruited (another whole thing). both of them catch themselves enjoying little things, and then having moments of all the pain bleeding through. an example is over time narinder does end up wearing darker robes, but it's fairly gradual. in this piece, it's lamb getting too deep in the countless lives that were taken from their race, triggered by blood (a whole little story thing), and narinder does make the (semi subconscious) choice to wear dark robes.

anyway you're probably looking at that giant shadow in the picture huh. it takes a long time but lamb Does end up truly becoming a bishop.

not 100% done with this design, but it has the basics. their main horns end up breaking off (thinking of a story behind that still). the main thing with them that i really like is they have multiple strings of bells on them. so everyone starts associating the sound of ringing bells as Death. so if you hear them, they're coming for you. that being said, they also have the ability to move completely silently, despite being covered in bells. which adds to the scaring-the-fuck-out-of-everyone factor.

there's a ton more i could get into with the other bishops, ratau, the duck siblings, the crowns themselves, more aym and baal, but i'm probably gonna do more artworks with them so i can talk more then :3 this is already too long lmao

thanks for the ask though!! it's nice knowing people are interested in my stuff :D (it's also worth mentioning that i am also a system and have alters of lamb, narinder, and aym and baal, who all contribute to this stuff)

[univemma]

I have my problems with the hidden world, like many others. And i just want to gather all my thoughts in one place here because i feel like many agree that the ending itself isnt the problem, but how they did it. For me, personally, they ruined it with the reactions to the dragons leaving. Specifically, the reactions of the dragons.

First, we have Meatlug, who in the past has been shown thay merely HEARING FISHLEGS' VOICE causes her to become overwhelmed with excitement. (RTTE S2E9)

And yet here, she looks like this:

Like?? Not even a frown when she's leaving Fishlegs, who is clearly her favourite person in the world (literally watch ANY HTTYD media and this is made abundantly clear).

Moving on, we have Barf and Belch. Now it can be said that the twins and their dragon don't really have as many emotional dragon-rider moments as the others, but it is still clear that Barf and Belch love their riders. Except here:

The twins look DEVASTATED, meanwhile they (sorry belch is cropped here I couldnt get a ss with both in it) hardly look sad. Barf at least looks a little upset but still, its borderline.

And moving on, to perhaps what angers me the most, Snotlout & Hookfang. These two are easily my fav dragon-rider duo/team, and for many reasons.

Very quickly, allow me to take you back to RTTE S1E13, in which Hookfang goes out of his way to protect "Girl-Hookfang" and her eggs from a Titanwing Monsterous Nightmare when she sends out what Hiccup describes as a "distress signal".

When Snotlout tells Hookfang to choose between him and the dragon, he ultimately chooses defending her. But at the prospect of leaving Snotlout, he looks LIKE THIS:

He looked MISERABLE and even made sad little dragon noises (idk how to describe them im sorry). So,

TELL ME WHY

IN THE HIDDEN WORLD

HE LOOKS LIKE THIS

SNOTLOUT LOOKS LIKE HES LISTENED TO AN ENTIRE MITSKI ALBUM, BROS FUCKING SOBBING SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP.

And Hookfang hardly even looks at him, just kinda gives him a sideways glance. Like

HELLO???! And ONE OF THESE had a lower budget as a TV show AND a lower quality model (which, unrelated, ive seen some people really dislike but I think the show models are great!)

The only one to act somewhat appropriately is Toothless, who warbles and makes his little dragon noises at Hiccup, almost talking with him, they have their big heartfelt moment and their cute hug before he leaves. Because of course they get it, its Hiccup and Toothless.

And yeah i get it that clearly the dragons are sick and tired of hunters and therefore understand the need to leave. But they dont even look sad! Breaks my heart because after three movies, two tv shows and all the specials of the dragons and riders bonding and caring for each other and they don't even get a heartfelt goodbye.

And let us not forget that Snotlout, Fishlegs and the twins, who have been riders since the FIRST MOVIE, and main characters in their own right for years, don't even get a GOODBYE LINE?? LIKE LITERALLY, Astrid and Valka? Absolutely, they deserve it. Gobber? Sure, he hasn't known grump nearly as long but he's been a relevant and important main character as long as the kids. And Eret-

Now, I love Eret. He's cool. He's great. Love a hunter turned rider.

But WHY DID THEY GIVE A LINE TO HIM AND SKULLCRUSHER (approx. 1 year relationship) OVER THE SIX YEARS OF FISHLEGS, RUFF, TUFF AND SNOTLOUT? THEY DONT EVEN GET A "Goodbye." WHAT.

And again thats not me shitting on Eret getting one, its on the others NOT

And this isnt even beginning to mention Valka and Cloudjumper do not START ME on their TWENTY YEAR FRIENDSHIP AND BOND BEING TORN APART IN A ONE MINUTE GOODBYE.

Anyways on a lighter note, the parallel with Hiccup removing his hand from Toothless in a reverse of the first time they touched all those years ago always gets me emotional. My fav part about the ending.

And that's pretty much all I like about it LMAOO

[danvillecheese]

why do u think act ur age is fucked

[cracks knuckles] alright. essay time. you asked for it.

I’ve done a similar response to this before here and mentioned something else about it here but I’ll go over it again since those posts are both from a while ago. also bear in mind I haven’t seen aya recently bc I don’t like it. okay let’s get into it

[also im gonna preface this saying maybe i sound very pessimistic but im ranting and its just gonna sound like im complaining because i am. i mean no real malice by the way. im simply a person with a blog.]

first off. they don’t use the show don’t tell as well as they could. in the what might have been montage, sure, they showed potential scenarios and how phineas felt (very briefly) when isa stopped visiting his backyard but it just feels so rushed. I get that they only had like 11 minutes to show it but idk there has to be another way to write it. or just not have it at all idk its just from a writing point of view the whole episode feels rushed and out of place from everything else continuity-wise. why not use little easter eggs planted in the show beforehand? operation crumbcake? pharmacists? meapless in seattle? god theres so many episodes with evidence that phineas liked her back even if he didnt know. just. continuity!!!!

second. why did their friends not try something sooner. it’s not like they didn’t know. like phineas seems to be okay with saying “i wish! i am so in the friend zone there” in front of his friends (that quote alone makes me lose my shit but that’s a whole other point) so clearly they knew about phineas. and isabella also wasn’t quiet about it (source: pnf s1-4). they had like four years of high school to do something and they planned it the day isa left for college? nah its just the least realistic thing ever for me. also them being 18 is like yeah okay maybe the slow burn was worth it and theyre way more grown up (i love a good slowburn) but ohhhhhh my god SURELY their friends were getting sick of them dancing around each other. just me?

third. and I’m sorry to ash simpson but oh my god I hate the character designs like They Would Not Fucking Look Like That. it almost feels like it completely disregards their arcs during the original summer. like yeah child chub disappears over ur teen years but sometimes it stays a little longer! make phineas less twiggy!! make isa look more like her mother! (am i about to redesign them again? whoops)

four. and i know this is no fault of dan and swampy but the show was about to end anyways and yet the entire friend group was paired off into hetero ships?? get fucking real. none of those kids are straight. realistically, i know it was a different time and gay marriage wasnt even legal in the us yet so it wasnt all that common to have queer romance on screen let alone on disney channel but like i said, the show was about to end. what were the disney channel execs gonna do? cancel it? lmao

five. "I am so in the friend zone there." "we are guys. we do not talk about our feelings." WHAT!!! i cant believe this shit is real. these lines of dialogue are canon. what the hell. what kind of message does that even send to younger, impressionable viewers? if ur a 10 year old boy watching that (ok fine maybe that isnt gonna stick with you forever but listen) and you go 'oh its okay to just bottle everything up and not tell my friends about my feelings about anything ever' that is insane! thats not how things should go!! like i get the whole "im so in the friend zone" and yes, this also has to do with the era but like if they wanted to be a more progressive cartoon that kids look up to and enjoy maybe they just. shouldn't have put that whole conversation in.

i barely have any problems with the b plot. in fact id watch the episode just for the kazoo solo. because that plot lines up with the continuity. i can totally see heinz having bowling night with perry and carl and monogram every week! i can totally see perry and monogram retired! and carl running owca and getting payed for it! that all checks out! that one makes sense and works with the canon! if they got that plot so right how did they get the a plot so wrong?

i can answer this question: fanservice. its an awful word, i know. act your age is a fanservicey episode which is why i think it crashed and burned. mml season 2 is rooted in the same issue: doof is very present and takes away from the original plot of the show. like, the one he wasnt even in until the last episode of s1. slightly getting off topic but it is the crux of the issue. fanservice doesnt make for good storytelling. even if it brings in the big bucks. at its core, telling the story the way it should be told is the best one. even if it pisses people off. a good portion of the viewers will still appreciate whatever ending the creators come up with. and no, im not saying phinbella shouldn't have become canon, in fact i really like the ship and all their dynamics, i just think they went about it the wrong way.

as someone who's written and published fic about them getting together in different universes (granted, they were from when i was younger so its mildly terrible. take them with a grain of salt) there are a lot of other ways to tell that story canonically. honestly, i think the best way of doing it was to keep it ambiguous. dont tell that story. let the viewers pick their own ending for phineas and isabella. maybe they dont get together after all. who knows!

thanks for the ask! hope you had fun getting lectured <3

[wrathofrats]

I blacked out in @divine-misfortunes DMs as usual because one of us mentioned the idea of murder Zeph so im here to bless you all with 1k of just zephyr being unhinged

Content warning for gore, body horror and graphic depictions of violence. This is just a description of zephyr killing someone, please be aware of what this is before you proceed

Anyways, hope you all enjoy <3

-

Zephyrs body has never worked correctly.

Their joints ache and scream when they move, their back burns some days when they use their cane to hobble through the halls. They feel pathetic and helpless on their bad days. Left to rely on ifrit for simple tasks even though it gnaws and pulls at them to be so practically helpless.

Zephyr gets somewhat pent up, over it. A sick craving for blood and gore that goes beyond making their stomach full. A carnal rage to rip into something, to play god with the life of something beneath them.

They want to see the life in someone’s eyes die, the fear as they beg them not to. They want to feel powerful and in control. Can’t help but to play with their food and draw it out for as long as possible.

They don’t often get prey in their grasp with no way for them to wriggle free, zephyr might as well have their fun with it.

It’s almost laughable how easy it is for them to find their victim.

They’re unassuming. Zephyr knows their reputation in the halls of the abbey, always has a bark harsher than their bite. With the cane or having to lean on ifrit to get through the corridors it’s really no surprise that they’re not seen as a threat.

It just makes it easier for them.

It’s really almost too easy.

Zephyr stands in wait in one of the halls late at night, paces a bit to seem like they’re busy. It’s almost entirely empty at this hour, they walk up and down for what feels like hours. Their mouth waters as they think about their plan, the metallic taste tingles in the bottom of their fangs.

The click of a sisters heels startles Zeph out of their crimson fantasies.

“Zephyr? What are you doing out at this hour?”

They don’t recognize her, almost feels bad but at their age the constant rotation of devotees for their cause makes it impossible to keep up. It won’t matter in a bit anyways.

“Can you help me push this door open? It’s just too heavy for me today”

The sibling smiles and gives a look that’s a bit too close to sympathetic. Pity almost, if it wasn’t for the nature of the interaction zephyr may be a bit more forgiving but it only really fuels their desire. It becomes a show of power rather than the need to feast.

She pushes open the door, standing in front of it to make sure it stays open while Zeph makes a show of hobbling through. She even asks if there’s anything else she can do while she’s still there. It’s a shame she’s so polite, zephyr almost feels bad.

The oxygen is soon ripped from her lungs so fast that she collapses to the floor in a vain attempt to force it back inside. She looks up in shock, mouth agape gasping for air.

It’s not enough to make her unconscious, just enough to incapacitate her because oh it wouldn’t be much fun if she wasn’t awake would it be?

The sibling tries to fight against zephs power to gulp in the oxygen. It doesn’t work, painful and useless and she struggles against herself not to panic completely when they see Zeph staring at them with a claw raised. Their eyes glaze over in black, a bloodlust invading their senses as their pupils blow wide.

She can’t fight, the lack if air combined with the sheer primal panic of not being able to breathe is enough to have her incapacitated, not able to do much more than writhe on the ground like a roach.

It’s entertaining to watch them struggle while she still doesn’t know what’s going on. The lack of oxygen isn’t enough to kill the poor prey, sadly enough for it, but it’s enough to finally steal away their consciousness as zephyr prepares to go in for their kill.

Again, it’s almost too easy.

A sharp claw runs down her sternum, digging in just enough draw blood, the sharp sensation enough to jerk her awake.

Zeph quickly rips away the air from their prey’s lungs again once they start to scream. It’s loud, piercing, almost annoying. Much easier to have them silently mimic trying to gasp for the air it must know it won’t receive.

The claw sinks deeper on the way down. Past the hard bone of the ribcage and truly ripping through the soft flesh of the stomach. Its face contorts violently as they slash through the fat and muscle. Can’t fight, only can watch and thrash their head as if maybe if it turned at the right angle it would be able to breath again.

The white hot searing pain that comes from its abdomen would take its breath away anyways, its lungs fight to expel the air from the feeling of being flayed open but desperately tries to open to take in the oxygen it hasn’t had in minutes now.

Zephyr completely disembowels the prey, something sickly powerful about seeing an organ work in a still living body. The way its stomach moves or seeing the underside of the bottom of its ribs move with each breath they’ve now allowed them to have back.

Their mouth starts to water again. They debate tasting their meal as they prepare it.

Zephyr clots their wounds closer so the steady river of blood stops trying to tempt them into losing the control they’ve fought so hard for.

The state of being in and out of consciousness is gagging torture, being in so much pain that it passes out before being brutally forced back into the hell state by zephyr allowing it to breath again.

It’s a horrific realization after a couple passes that zephyr is eating it alive.

The ghoul just stares at it low from its abdomen, covered in blood and entrails in their mouth, shredded at the ends from where they had been forcefully ripped from their confines. The blood that they haven’t clotted drips down their chin and over the skin that has yet to be cut open wide.

This is the best part, a true delicacy. Fleshy and easy to access but not enough to kill the prey in any fast amount of times it’s enough to savor it, really take in everything while it’s still alive.

The mercy only comes when Zeph is done eating. A slash to the throat is fastest, leave it wide open to lap up the blood until it stops twitching.

Zephyr is a contradicting sight. Prim and proper, all pale and delicate but covered in blood with a wild look in their eyes. Soaks through their shirt and drips down their arms and wrists from where it coats their hands.

Properly unhinged and brimming with a sick sort of glee.

A dark power, being able to kill and covered in their pretty blood.

proud and hungry.

[autisticempathydaemon]

Ohmygod I love matchups

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

Too sweet by Hozier ofc ofcm I looove Hozier and the way he sings about relationships 😭 Im like not fixated on a specific lyric, I'm fixated on the wedding bells in the background of the chorus

What is your Enneagram type?

Okay it has been a FUCKTON of time since I looked at that stuff but iirc it was 2? Me being an infp is literally the only thing I can consistently remember bc ADHD brain

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

YESS I listen to them whenever I'm playing Sims or working on something. Any of Jenny Nicholson or Li Speaks’ videos are common for that Nostalgic Essay Stuff. SPECIFICALLY Jenny Nicholson’s jeff the killer fanfiction book video because I OWNED THAT BOOK. I WROTE CREEPYPASTA FANFICTION AND I OWNED THAT BOOK

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

I did not have one and I pretended to because everyone else did and I felt weird for not having one

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Imagining being loved and cared for 😭 or whumpy fanfiction scenarios no in-between. But they usually overlap

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I named myself after a character cause I relate ofc but I also named myself echo because it was another birth name in consideration for me and it feels like… whimsical

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

ITS STILL “FLIRTY VAMPIRE LOSES CONTROL” BECAUSE IM OBSESSED WITH SCENES WHERE THE HUMAN PARTNER OF A “MONSTER” CHARACTER IS DIRECTLY CONFRONTED WITH THEIR MONSTROUS TRAITS AND LOVES THEM ANYWAY.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

Gavin </3 I am simply not a sexual person and it puts me off a bit lol

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

This spectacular show called dramaworld about a girl whos obsessed with kdramas and gets sucked into the world of them, but not in a “the events are real” way, in a “the entire world is a setup for the same characters to go through various plots, forgetting and falling in love over and over again” and it's hilarious and it's such a comfort show even though I can't watch it anywhere anymore I don't think. The main romance is top tier. It's so funny. And the stakes and plot twists are actually pretty good

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Probably Sam? I want him to be my dad. I have issues.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

Apparently when I'm half asleep I start talking about horses? But when I'm still conscious, I mostly talk about like. Vampires mostly.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

doritos dinamita and mountain dew yes I am basic

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

I don't have favorite playlists so much as I play 4-6 songs over and over on repeat until I'm sick of them. Currently, those songs are too sweet by Hozier, no more birthdays by sophie may, and Every Chappelle Roan Song.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

I love bad romance novels the more ridiculous and bad, the better. kresley cole's immortals after dark are fun to make fun of (no. Hate if you like them)

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

Uhhh my favorite form of interaction is parallel play. irl or digital, in a digital sense it means “we're liveblogging two separate things we're doing at the same time” lmao

- Asher-Echo/vampire-bite

Ooh, there’s a lot of good info to consider here. Initially, it was hard because I find Type Two’s easily compatible with most of the Redacted bois, but what said about “not being a sexual person” made it easy to choose Ollie for you.

Because he has never and will never get a BA, I love to headcanon Ollie as either asexual, low-libido, or both, so that’s one reason I think he’d be a good match for you. I also love that y’all would like so many of the same things like open-world games, bad/silly romance novels, and spending time with one another without the pressure to actively interact or engage with each other. (Also creepypastas. I love to headcanon Ollie as a horror, creepypasta fiend, given he grew up on the internet around when Jeff the Killer came to be.)

Every day with Ollie would be so comfortable and domestic, so sweet. Like, on a long weekend like this one if you’re American, I can see y’all spending it at home, a little staycation. He’d be in the other room or one end of the couch reading, and you’d be on the other reading one of your romance novels. Cattywumpus would be on your lap, because you’re his favorite. Your music is playing in the background, and you both stop what you’re doing to dance to “Hot to Go!”, because Ollie would totes love Chappell Roan.

Song:

Spillin' wine and homemade drinks/ We throw a cheers, the worries sink/ Damnit, it's so good to be alive/ We know that we don't got much/ But, then again, it's just enough/ To always find a way for a good time

Ollie strikes me as the type of guy who loves simple, feel-good, folk-esque music, someone being honest and emotional with a guitar. That’s one reason I like this song for y’all and can imagine it shuffled with yours as y’all hang out. The other is that this love song is sweet, catchy, simple just like Ollie~

Runner-ups:

Your love of the Sims and cheesy paranormal romance novels compels me to give you Elliott as a runner-up, because he could bring the things you read and create to life in your dreams, and that’d be so fun! In contrast, your Enneagram type and identifying yourself as nonsexual makes me want to pair you with Cam who gives me an asexual, easily affectionate vibe.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[andromerot]

my pedro almodóvar marathon. thoughts, feelings, tier list

or, i spent like 50 hours on this so i better get to post about it

well, i'd be lying if i said i set out to do this with any clear goals in mind. i sort of just wanted to watch movies. this year i set out to watch through a couple of directors entire works, but ran into complications or got bored. so anyway when i finished my term i decided id try a third time with my best friend pedro. i had watched five of his films already but was mostly unaware of other things he had made. on the 22nd of november i started with matador, then went on and in exactly a month i had watched all of his feature films yayyy

so this is how i ranked them on letterboxd and this is a tier list. this doesnt really sum up my thoughts though so im leaving a little review for each below the cut, in the order i watched them in this month hope someone cares :) thank you

matador (1986): ohhhhhh my god. absolutely unexpected how insane this movie made me. many people say its not very good, i dont think that's true. transgressive, erotic, camp, necrosexual, implicit faggot tension, beautiful costuming, insanely talented cast of so many characters sick in the head. watching this one first really hyped me up to keep at it and to close out the month i rewatched it the other day and though it was less surprising than the first time i watched it its maybe my favorite now :) it has structural flaws i suppose. but i love it

¿que he hecho yo para merecer esto? (1984): pretty funny! not bad at all, i remember enjoying it as i watched it, it just wasnt very memorable. i enjoy every performance by carmen maura, chus was stellar as always and forqué was really sweet in this one too, i liked it. i literally forgot half of the plot though. did anyone remember the telepathic child or the faked hitler diaries? i didnt until i looked it up.

la ley del deseo (1987) (rewatched): showed this one to my friend, god its iconic. some of my favorite chiques almodovar. so fun to watch and so silly even though its not quite a comedy. the fact that antonio is just called antonio in this one makes me unwarrantedly happy. MAURA THE WOMAN THAT YOU ARE!! very hot all around. i think i liked it better this time than the other two i had watched it.

pepi, luci, bom y otras chicas del montón (1980): everyone talks about how sexually transgressive 80s almodovar is and i was like yeah whatever until i watched this one. straight up trilogy of trash shit. so beautiful. i wish every movie was like this. no one likes it but i adored it. erecciones generales will stay in my mind forever and i loved the musical numbers. and the piss, of course.

entre tinieblas (1983): also somewhat forgettable, though i watched it while pretty worried about something else so maybe i didnt give it the attention it deserved. its not a bad time but i wouldn't rewatch it. based on the premise you think it'd be better.

la flor de mi secreto (1995) (rewatched): OH GOD. until last month my favorite almodóvar, its been outdone but it still destroys me. its terribly underrated. i dont even know what i can say about it... marisa paredes is stunning at doing desperation. the boots, the scene at the protest, the initial meeting with ángel, the poem in the car, that moment in the hall. it's beautiful and breathtaking. lesbian film history, i promise.

todo sobre mi madre (1999): like, its good, but i dont get what people see in it that makes it so acclaimed. again paredes is great in this, but penélope is somewhat tame compared to what she does later, and this is the point in the list where i have to admit cecilia roth is not very good to me and all my compatriots start throwing rocks at me. listen i just wish she'd stop doing that stupid accent its so fucking bad cecilia sincerate seguro sos de villa crespo. anyway its fine if a bit weird about trans women, but hes always a hit or miss w that

átame (1989): took a big break between the last one and this one for some reason. anyway, pretty funny, except it really drags in the middle. shouldnt have been that long, but victoria abril always slays and the last scene is wonderful.

tacones lejanos (1991): WOAHHHHH! really cool i liked it. i love a mother daughter thing especially this mother and this daughter. really fun doppelganger story and i love how it was told, i found it both melodramatic and subtle? miguel bosé makes a really pretty girl, this will inform my every subsequent rewatch of suspiria. big fan of his gender. dance number fucked obvs

kika (1993) (rewatch): ok, i know why people don't like this one, but its so silly... cmon. it sillay. once again incredible abril performance, the costuming my god.... her character makes the whole movie i wish i was her. lesbian rossy de palma was wonderful and every forqué performance is a delight. pedro getting hitchcockian with it to slightly trick the audience is a staple of his 90s filmography, fucks.

carne trémula (1997): the title made me think it would be better! there was barely any carne. i didn't really see the point of most of it tbh, though based on how the movie starts and ends there might be some spanish historical context that im missing that makes it more interesting. strangely reminiscing of the buenos aires affair to me, but puig is better. yeah it was just pretty boring.

laberinto de pasiones (1982): YAYYYYYY i had some trouble torrenting so i watched it really out of order this but its SO FUN. obviously in the same vein as pepi luci bom but i liked it slightly more just for how unnecessarily elaborate it was. the one major role i dont mind roth being in and im a big fan of antonios gay terrorist with an ultradeveloped sense of smell character and arias is really into his very silly character too – he works well in secreto as well, i wish hed been on more almodovares, i should finally watch camila. liné was hilarious too. the problematic incest storyline was really funny to me sorryyyyy and i got a lot of gender out of the musical performances. hey can you believe that beautiful fag covered in blood is a franquista now. i can

hable con ella (2002): ehhhhhhh. some people really hate this one for the couple scenes i found most interesting, others love it for reasons i cant parse. its got parts that caught my attention a lot, but mostly it was eerie in an unenjoyable and uninteresting way and the backstories dragged on too long, especially grandinetti's. like i just don't care sorry. THE scene is quite disturbing though. i appreciated he decided to show rape in a more subtle light for once, it made it a lot more cruel and a lot more interesting.

la mala educación (2004) (rewatch): sighhhh. i really wish i liked this one. its got so many elements i am into – the colours are obviously spectacular, the unreliable multiple narrations and the disassembled timelines are always enjoyable to me, the attempt at social commentary is appreciated, some scenes are stunning (fictional ignacios head split in half is unforgettable) but quite honestly the characterization is so bad it bores me. i liked it more the first time i watched it just because of how confused i was, once i wasnt it lost its magic. maybe the worst in what is considered the "somewhat autobiographical movies about directors" trilogy (i think there's four of them but we'll discuss that later) probably because the character of enrique is so bland. i know its more but it feels that you only spend like five minutes with him. ángel/juan's motivations for anything are so puzzling, ignacio is just a caricature at this point and probably the character with the most depth is berenguer, which is ironic, i guess

volver (2006): WAHHH. its hard to talk about it honestly. it was so unexpectedly beautiful. the acting is so on point – penélope cruz and that beautiful carmen maura comeback are self evident, but blanca portillo is also stellar. it was fascinating from minute one and i couldnt keep my eyes off it. its written with such care and love. i suppose the plot itself is nothing out of this world, but the way it is handled is explosive. i really adored it.

los abrazos rotos (2009): the fourth bastard on the self insert series! cmon, its way more about himself than la mala educación. anyway, its good at some points, not very in others. the strong point is obviously the relationship between mateo, judit and diego, their refusal to be tied as a family and their desire to be tied by love is reaaaally interesting. the scene at the sea... but penélope and her millionaire and her millionaires son do nothing interesting at any point, im afraid to say. sad! surprisingly not very memorable, even though i didnt dislike it as i watched it. like i remember i liked some things but if a couple weeks later i dont remember what they were its probably the movies fault

la piel que habito (2011): AUGHHH OK. fuck. THIS ONE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD. it wasnt it was really mid. when it started i was like oh is pedro trying out his hand at cronenberg and i was really excited because im SURE he can do cronenberg better than cronenberg but he didnt. it was worse. how are you giving your women less agency than that guy??? honestly probably the first ever film of his where this is a noticeable problem, though penélope in the last one should give us a hint. ughh it should have been good. im mad about that. no desire to question gender or power and the unchronological storytelling does nothing for me. BAD! if anything i recognized its sexual power for if banderas character was a woman i would be throwing up and convulsing on the floor. i hope vicente and his lesbian coworker had a beautiful romance i guess. i cant believe some people call this one one of the most controversial of his work....

los amantes pasajeros (2013): hm well everyone was like THIS is the bad one and i was like i bet you guys are just being mean but no yeah this is the bad one. its not funny and it drags on so long...i can usually defend the rape scenes in his movies, even in kika or hable con ella, but this one just sucks so bad. i was prepared to defend this movie but i cant. as soon as the movie started i was trying to guess where all the threads would connect, how all the characters would be linked and they mostly... weren't? also the reference to the gazpacho scene in mujeres made me groan out loud.

julieta (2016): well i dont really know what this was supposed to be....it feels on the surface it could have been really good but something about it felt so emotionless. it was an odd experience, watching it, because i expected to be moved by so many scenes and i never was. i dont know what the point of it was.

dolor y gloria (2019): ok yeah this one was sweet! didn't blow my mind or anything but it was very cleverly made...a really more beautiful way to do the childhood-as-movie thing than in mala educación, i really enjoyed it. nostalgia bores me sometimes but i feel hes not being annoying about it. long live old man yaoi (and finally an argentinian actor i DONT hate...) and that beautiful beautiful cave and that mind gripping apartment bringing in the characteristic insane set design but in a new way...i had a good time

madres paralelas (2021): oh this could have been so good! it wasnt but honestly i dont remember exactly why i disliked it. i suppose i didnt connect to the characters and that it is a story that requires that to engage you – their motivations were really out of place and unlike other movies that bothered me. really interesting premise, didnt work out. im sad about it. could have been cool.

yeah so that's it i only realized while writing this that i forgot to rewatch mujeres but obvs that ones very good, proper classic, quote it every time i eat gazpacho and such. also extraña forma de vida is a snore i refuse to watch it again. i hope this works as a rec list for someone. and i am ready to be stoned by my wrong opinions by the rest of you

[skitskatdacat63]

Hiii CATIE!!!!! HIII

Im pretty pretty sure people have already asked BUT HOW WAS ATTENDING THE US GP LIVE!!!! WAS???? TELL ME!! DO YOU HAVE PICS??? I know I know im late.

I ALSO HOPE YOU GOT HOME SAFE AND SOUND AND THAT YOU ARE RESTING NOW+!!!(I saw the chaos you went through im deeply sorry for you :( )

ANYWAYS HOW WAS THE RACE? HOW WAS EXPERIENCING STROLLONSO LIVE?????? AND omg did you get pics of drivers??? :00

You must must share pleaseeeeee.wax.poet

OH MY GOD ELLE SORRY THIS IS SO LATE!!! IT WAS VERY COOL!!!!! VERY SURREAL!!!!!! I've taken a week to answer this but uhhhh yes I am in fact home now 🥰 I got home at like 1 am which was cool....

First of all I have to mention this! I was fighting for my life walking thru the Austin airport(from sleep deprivation), and I had my Fernando hat on my backpack, right? Some girl comes up to me and asks if I'm going to the GP, I say yes. SHE GAVE ME A FRIENDSHIP BRACELET, I COULD'VE SOBBED 🥹 It says on it "wtf is a km", I'm still so happy

COTA was the first race I ever watched, so to be actually at that track and watch a race live there was extremely surreal! Very hot though my god 😵‍💫 I think last year it was pretty hot, right? And my brother kept sending me the temp and it was pretty okay, and then of fucking course the temp leaps up to 89-97°(31-36° Celsius btw) right in time for the gp....so that was nice(I say as I burn in the sun like a vampire. But don't worry I didn't even really tan at all 😭 I always wore a hat and a lot of sunscreen. And meanwhile my brother was literally a lobster)

(This is a long post):

So unfortunately I missed the drivers parade because my brother and I were dying on Saturday night and his friends wanted to go first thing in the morning, and we're like "we will go later actually 😊" and missed it entirely 😭😭😭 but his friends took pics of Mclaren and Aston for me!!!!! But unfortunately I havent gotten them still, so I'll have to reblog this later with those! I took a lot of pictures of the cars I took from behind the fence, which I think I've posted some of? Lmk if anyone wants those!! They're very random, I just thought it was very surreal to see the cars flying past, so I took a million.

The coolest part was definitely running on track after the race was over!!! Soooooo surreal, and so I'm only gonna post pics rn from Sunday(bcs pic limit on phone) and also I think everything else kinda pales in comparison(but of course lmk if there's anything you're interested in seeing 🤭)

Okay and did I see any drivers...? ONLY ONE BUT AAAAHHHH I DID SEE LANDO!!! Not even one of my favs but it was soooooo surreal to see him, even from afar. As you can see above, everyone standing on the fences was blocking the view 🙄, but during the podium, I was focusing my camera btwn their legs and got literally one second of Lando 😭 I think its a pretty aesthetic clip, so I gifed it!!

It was so funny, I went to the gp with my brother and friends, so all these older guys yeah. And I was showing this off to them on the ride home, and his one friend was praising me so much for it 😭😭 like: "oh my god!!!! You could put this in an edit !!! This is so sick!!!!"

Oh one other thing!!! I think I've mentioned it before but my god, my favorite f1 podiums are always the ones with confetti, right?? AND THERE WAS CONFETTI AT THIS RACE!!!

LOOK AT HOW PRETTYYYYY!!!! And so anyways, I picked up so much confetti off the ground and now it lives forever in my phone case 🥰🥰🥰 I have no other room for pics on this post(for now) but oh my godddddddddd most of the confetti were just rectangles BUT THERE WAS ALSO ONES SHAPED LIKE TEXAS!!! SO COOL!!!!! And I also picked up a bunch of tire marbles off the ground!!! And a piece of plastic that probably came off some car. It was so funny when all of us were just scrounging off the ground. My bro's one friend somehow found a piece of carbon fiber, and we're all like "how can I kill him in his sleep and steal this from him..." But no the highlight actually of that process was watching my brother sprint to the podium, but stopping and grabbing a bunch of gravel first to shove in his pocket 😭😭😭

The other two days were fun as well, but also a lot of just dying in the heat and drinking a fuckton of red bull, so there's not too much specifically to say! I really liked hearing the cars. I think if you wanna know what's actually going on in a race, watching from home is better, but hearing the cars go by and seeing them is just so fucking sick. It was so funny to see grown men be like "I think I'm going to cry hearing these cars." I was really flexing on them with "uhhh yeah I've already been to a gp already 🙄🙄"

Anyways I ended the day by breaking bank by buying my dad and myself Fernando shirts because he is of course Fernando's biggest fan 🥰🥰 and I bought the most delicious overpriced lemonade, which I only drank half of bcs my brother proceeded to accidentally elbow it out of my hand....

OH WAIT ONE MORE DETAIL LOL. On Friday, my brother and his friend were waiting in line for smth and I was talking to them outside of the barrier. I look down, hmm theres a red cap abandoned on the ground, I pick it up, it is in fact a Ferrari hat. And that is how my brother acquired a $40+ dollar hat for free. Lucky bastard....I was the who found it!