#anyway all of these could be fixed in RAW easily

[rosesrambling]

there are many good critiques of dnd 5e offloading too much work on the DM to interpret and manage the rules but my PERSONAL pet peeve is the wild magic sorcerer

per RAW, wild magic surges happen whenever the DM calls for a roll. it’s one of your key class features & resets tides of chaos, and exists purely within the realm of DM fiat

wild magic surges have a fairly low % chance of happening in the first place, and mostly aren’t really penalties. so in my experience DMs just call for the roll after every leveled spell. which is fair! except

tides of chaos resets on each wild magic roll not each wild magic surge. this would basically give sorcs advantage on every single spell they cast with an attack roll! which seems a bit silly and overpowered, unless you house rule the ability to work off surges instead.

it’s just a whole mess of an archetype which requires the DM to intercede on a class feature, and the easiest way to offload that work unbalances the class unless you make a second house ruling. which is again, just more unnecessary work. absolute mess of an archetype that typifies the wider problem

[gotta-winwin]

(🍓) ... mingyu x reader

"Ah l’amour / Ou est ce que ça commence /Ou est ce que ça s’arrête" 🎶 compromise by role model

mingyu loved you as easy as breathing. >1k words a/n: special shoutout to @diamonddaze01 for beta reading and sorry in advance for the heartache this fic is

Mingyu knew you saw yourself as a whirlwind for disaster, yet he loved you anyway. 

As easy as breathing, he used to tell you, whenever life had thrashed you upside down and you would land on his doorstep. 

Mingyu loved you as easily as breathing. 

But I’m a terrible person, you’d argue against him. I blow up anything good around me. 

I’m still here, he’d counter, brushing away the silent tears that had flowed down your face. His giant hands molded against you like clay, gentle touches that could only belong to an artist loving his art. 

His legs would hook into yours in bed, a personal furnace for the nights your unkempt brain refused to sleep, drowning you as you sunk deeper and deeper into the mattress. Mingyu was your buoy through the rough waters of life.

He reassured you each time you voiced out your fear of one day losing him to the storm. I can weather any storm, my love. Your hurricanes cannot hurt me. And they will not scare me away.

Mingyu was always telling you he loved you like a song. 

Repeatable, harmonic and comfortable. You’re like my favourite song, he’d whisper against your chest, as he sank lower and lower, trailing kisses that stood for feelings the English language had yet to put into words. I’d do anything to start and end the day with you. 

He was the rare person who knew you like the back of his hand, knew every divot and crevice of your body, your heart, your soul. The love that thrived between the two of you was one carefully crafted by cherished hands, welded together by gentle words and everlasting understanding. 

Understanding. Mingyu had always preferred to use that word rather than forgiveness. 

I don’t need to forgive you, Mingyu had told you once, after a particularly horrible fight where you had said horrible things, the aftermath of an invisible weight that had finally cracked your back. I don’t need to forgive you because I understand. There is nothing to forgive. 

Mingyu loved you selflessly and unconditionally. 

“Don’t ever compromise.” He used to say, bandaging your invisible wounds with tender kisses. “Don’t ever compromise because you deserve it all. After all the tears you’ve cried, don’t you compromise.” 

His strong and unwavering arms held your messy pieces together like Atlas held up the sky. 

Mingyu loved you loudly, unapologetically and full of raw passion. 

I’d do anything for you, he used to say, and despite the cliche you knew he meant every word of it. Mingyu would pick you up during rainy days, walk you home despite being afraid of the dark himself, kill the bugs in your apartment while screaming the whole time. He used to coin it as ‘loving you back together,’ as if his affection could somehow fix everything that was wrong with you and put together what others had broken before him. 

Mingyu devoted himself to fixing something he did not break. And he did it incredibly well.

Mingyu kissed you like singing, putting everything he’s ever wanted you to know into each contact his lips made with your skin. 

I love you. Let yourself live. Be free. You deserve that happy ending.  You deserve everything.  I love you. Be free. 

Mingyu made love with you like a prayer. Each touch, each move, each caress felt desperate, as if he was trying to pump life back inside of you, to revive you with each harsh breath he took as his tongue drew circles against your core. 

I love you. Be free. A miserable cycle. 

You deserve that happy ending. You won’t find it with me.

Mingyu had always told you he’d do anything for you. Including letting you go. 

The last time Mingyu kissed you, he kissed you with a twinge of nostalgia, as if he had already begun to miss you. His strong arms molded into the indents of your body he once called home, pulling himself into some semblance of a man to love you for the last time. 

In all honesty, Mingyu had loved you as a desperate attempt to love himself. 

Don’t you compromise, he had told you, unwittingly throwing himself into the mix as well. Mingyu knew he wasn’t it for you, at the end of the day. Two broken people could only rely on each other for so long. 

You deserve a happy ever after, don't ya? Even if it's not the same as mine Don't you compromise

[sluttywonwoo]

can't stop thinking about the guys(skz,svt and atz I have too much free time) cumming too soon like what would make them cum and how would they react why do I wanna cry bro idk

i wanna cry too it’s ok (answering for svt in this ask but if u wanna see one of the other groups send another)

seungcheol: it doesn’t happen to him often… maybe when he’s tired or it’s been a while and when it does, he turns it around on you lmfao like “why did you clench like that, you know what it does to me” >:(

jeonghan: if his dick is in your mouth… he’s probably cumming. like seungcheol, how is it his fault that your mouth feels that good?? he’d be embarrassed though and make it up to you by eating you out (which he was going to do anyway)

joshua: he’s usually pretty good about slowing down when he gets too close but sometimes even that isn’t enough to stop him from cumming and he’s filling you up without warning. his voice is so raspy as he mumbles apologies into your mouth. he knows you think it’s hot but he’s still embarrassed by it.

jun: it’s like a game he plays with himself, thinking he can last even when he can’t. edging himself until it becomes too much. he’s more frustrated by it than anything. he’s just like “damn, sorry babe” but will keep fucking you through his own oversensitivity to make you cum

soonyoung: can happen at the drop of a hat tbh. he’s got crazy stamina but for him that means he can go again and again even right after cumming (and that’s what he does)

wonwoo: it only happens when he’s been teasing you for so long that he’s incredibly worked up too and can’t help himself. so so embarrassed but pushes it down and plays it off. he’d punish you instead since it is your fault (ahem jeongcheol) and overstimulate you until he’s ready to go again

jihoon: it usually happens when you’re on top. something about you riding him makes jihoon lose control… and when he does, he can’t even bring himself to look at you for a couple of minutes. this is easily fixed, though, because you just have to get him hard again and he’ll forget all about the embarrassment (for the time being)

seokmin: if we’re being honest, he could cum from just your hand feeling him up over his pants. he’s just so into you and it’s easy for him to get carried away with how good your touch feels. but next thing you know he’s literally moaning apologies into your cunt as he eats you out

mingyu: most likely to happen for him if he’s fucking you raw… which is a problem in of itself but he’s usually able to pull out in time to just cum all over you. it makes a mess but it’s safer than the alternative and he’ll spend the next several minutes sheepishly cleaning you up while you lay there unimpressed.

minghao: he can make quickies quick. if you don’t have a lot of time, he puts all of his focus on cumming as fast as possible and sometimes it happens too fast. he likes to make you cum first so it always makes him feel guilty if he’s finishing way earlier than you, but he’ll drop to his knees and finish you off before you can even register what’s happened.

seungkwan: he loves praise but he also gets super flustered by it so if you’re praising him a lot in bed he might just lose it. it isn’t very common for him but when it does happen he tries to be casual about it. for him, being casual means pretending like nothing happened and adopting a very high voice all of the sudden and muttering “everything’s fine” to himself repeatedly as he rummages through your bedside drawer for your vibrator

vernon: man is easy. seeing your boobs is enough to get him fully hard… meaning you sitting on his dick is enough to make him cum. it isn’t unheard of for vernon to cum as soon as you sink down onto his lap. he gets so red and frantic, yelling at you to get off of him but usually it’s already too late. luckily, he’s got a short refractory period and a humiliation kink so he’s ready to go again in no time.

chan: he can be a bit too confident. it’s always endearing but chan talks a big game and can’t always deliver. when he cums too early and gets all embarrassed, it’s easy for you to pick up the slack and take over. chan submits to you so easily after he’s made a fool of himself (in his eyes) and you love every second of it.

[strongheartneteyam]

[ credits of the Neteyam pic go to cinetrix ]

Champagne Problems

Part 6

Pairing: Neteyam Sully x female!human!reader

CW: a lot of angst, tension between neteyam and reader, heartbroken neteyam, sexual tension, heartbroken reader, insecure neteyam, jealous reader, neteyam just won't leave reader's head, hurt/comfort (?), TRIGGER WARNING for some sensitive themes like reader showing signs of low self steem and not thinking she's worth it, friend group dynamic among reader, adeline and kate, kiri being sweet, reader misses neteyam and regrets dumping him, reader thinks she's protecting neteyam from hurt by staying away from him, spider makes an appearance, kiri being protective over neteyam's feelings, reader tells kiri she likes neteyam. Tell me if there's more, pls.

Here I come, finally updating this incredibly angsty fanfiction :') I hope y'all enjoy this. Writing this fic breaks my heart, guys… it feels raw, honestly. Maybe I'm just speaking like this bc I'm on my period + I'm listening to a sad Taylor Swift song but omg my heart aches rn

Not proofread. I'm sorry, babies, I'm dead rn. So freaking sleepy and finishing this at 5 am bc my mind just wouldn't let me sleep and kept forcing me to think about and write this chapter.

Part 5: The sand hurts my feelings

𓇼

It hits different 'cause it's you

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost

Rip the Band-Aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw

Freedom felt like summer then on the coast

Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

And I never don't cry at the bar

Yeah, my sadness is contagious

Hits Different (Taylor Swift)

𓇼

"Hey." Neteyam greeted you in a dry tone. He found it hard to look into your eyes so he just gazed rapidly into them and then kept his eyes on the ground.

His heart was broken, aching and his pride was shattered. Neteyam hated to see everybody around him looking at him with pity in their faces, knowing that he had been dumped by the girl he loved. He wondered if the boys - Lo'ak, Rotxo and Ao'nung - looked down on him now. Neteyam suddenly felt like he was not a good hypothetical mate. He had always thought he would make a good, reliable and loving mate to the girl he would one day choose to be his but you made him start doubting that after last night. He knew it was probably stupid but still he couldn't seem to get rid of those feelings.

You tried to hide your uneasiness but it was written all over your face.

"Hi." You answered Neteyam, your heart pounding in your chest, anxiety leaving your hands cold.

The pain you were causing Neteyam could be easily seen in the way his jaw clenched, in the way he weirdly looked insecure instead of confident as he always seemed to be. You wanted to say "I'm sorry", you wanted to say "Maybe I did the wrong thing when I refused to become your mate" but you had seen him with Munì. It was useless now, anyway.

Lo'ak looked at Neteyam, then back at you and then he would redo the whole thing all over again, like he was waiting for the both of you to exchange more words. Poor thing. He seemed even more tense than Neteyam and you.

"Rotxo, Ao'nung" Neteyam rapidly called, looking now at the Metkayina boys "Tonowari is waiting for us. Clan business." His voice was serious and seemed slightly annoyed, his face stern 

You wondered if Neteyam said "clan business" instead of giving more detail because you were sitting there too and he was mad at you. Well, you didn't blame him if that's how he felt. You deserved it. You could have been nicer to him this morning.

"Let's go!" Lo'ak spoke loudly, like he was trying to get out of that awkward situation as fast as he could

"Chill out, forest boy. We're going." Ao'nung teased and Rotxo laughed 

"I'm Metkayina now, fish lips. Stop calling me that." Lo'ak responded 

Frenemies indeed.

The boys left and your gaze was fixed on Neteyam's back as he walked away next to the other Metkayina. As you looked down at the beach floor, you wished that ache inside you would just vanish but life doesn't work that way.

When you looked up, you saw Tsireya's and Kiri's big feline eyes fixed on your face. It scared the crap out of you. They seemed even wider now.

"What?!" You sounded legitimately startled

"Neteyam told me and Lo'ak he was gonna ask you to be his mate at the party." Kiri stated

"And how the hell did every person in this tribe find out about that? Did he tell them too?" You didn't mean to sound rude but you really were overwhelmed by the situation

"It's just me, my brother and Rotxo. Only we know, other than Kiri and Lo'ak. My stupid brother overheard Kiri asking Neteyam how it had went, what answer you had given to Neteyam and he told Rotxo. I saw them laughing like idiots and asked what was so funny. That's when Ao'nung told me." Tsireya said, like she was sorry about the fact that so many people knew about yours and Neteyam's intimate business

𓇼

The day after that, you and the girls went back to Hell's Gate. You decided it was better to leave things the way they were. To let Neteyam have a nice, healthy and proper relationship with someone of his own kind. Like your father always used to say, na'vi and humans will never be equal. But he meant it in a derogatory way, with prejudice against the na'vi in his words while you meant something totally different. It was just natural that na'vi would marry other na'vi, not a human. The differences between both cultures did not just speak loud, they actually shouted like a mad person. You knew you could never get accustomed to being a na'vi male's mate. Not even if that male was Neteyam and just thinking about leaving him behind, thinking that you felt absolutely nothing for him, made you feel a burning, painful sensation in your heart. And of course Neteyam would be better off with an emotionally stable mate. Munì seemed perfect for him. 

You totally did not feel anger boiling inside your guts anytime you thought about her stupid smiles and giggles back when she was talking to him at the beach. She would make him happy and you were totally happy for them. The next step for you would be actually believing the words you just thought.

𓇼

One month and a few days had passed. You felt grateful that you had been able to dodge all the demands to go conduct scientific researches on the Metkayina tribe that you had received until now, asking to exchange positions with colleagues and staying in the lab, doing paperwork instead. You were doing everything in your power to avoid Neteyam. But you could never seem to be able to avoid the pain that washed over your body and the tears that wanted to come out - but never actually did because you were always strong enough to hold them back - whenever a sad love song started playing in your earbuds or in one of your friend's phones. It seemed like every fucking dumb love song reminded you of him.

After Kiri sent you a message almost begging you to go visit her, making you feel guilty and saying that she missed you a lot and now that she had her own marui, you just had to go to the reef and see it, you couldn't say "no". She was being too adorable and you missed her too. You asked Kiri if Kate and Adeline could come along and she excitedly agreed, so, the three of you used your next couple of days off to travel to the Metkayina beach again. It was a blessing that Neteyam had traveled to the Omatikaya tribe to see his grandmother Mo'at and was gonna be gone for a while, as Kiri had guaranteed you.

Kiri always had a very human side to her, just like Lo'ak. Neteyam didn't even seem like he was half human at times. He was extremely proud to be na'vi and wore his indigenous culture with honor all over himself. You could never see Neteyam asking to have his own place. He was too attached to his family - and you thought that was extremely cute. It wasn't traditional amongst the na'vi for an unmated young girl to leave her family's marui like that but Kiri was clever and she found a way to get what she wanted out of her parents.

𓇼

Adeline, Kate and you woke up as early as the Pandoran skies got clear and dragged your sleepy and tired asses to the Metkayina tribe. Being a scientist would never not leave a person overworked and exhausted. Like most mornings, you had drank way too much caffeine already for such an early hour in the day.

"Girl, how do you always look so beautiful? I could never." You pointed out as you watched Adeline make two thin braids to frame her round, delicate face and put her black curly hair in a voluminous bun on the top of her head, while the both of you were inside the science team's helicopter, heading to the Metkayina reef.

You had always found Adeline extremely pretty with her dark skin, voluptuous figure and feminine style. She always made sure to look cute.

"I don't know. I guess I'm God's favorite." She joked around and the both of you started to laugh

Adeline was also funny. She could put a smile in your face anytime, even when you were sad. You considered her a sister from another mother.

"You guys are stupid." Kate teased as she was laughing too and holding an energy drink filled with caffeine in her pale hand. She'd drink those often to help wake her up.

Kate's long, blonde, wavy hair fell gracefully over her chest. Her eyes were blue and she was tall and had an athletic but slim body. Damn, you only had breathtaking friends.

𓇼

Kate and Adeline had decided to take a nap after lunch in Kiri's marui and they asked if you would come too but you refused as you were far too restless to be able to sleep. That beach brought back too many memories…

So, now you found yourself sitting in the sand, watching the ocean waves break as they hit the shore with Kiri by your side. She had managed to make you say the truth about why you seemed so troubled.

"Yeah, (y/n), you fucked up big time." Kiri stated with that aura of wisdom beyond her years that only herself knew how to effortlessly exude.

You wanted to dig a hole in the sand under your feet and jump inside of it, hiding and never coming back up again. Of course you'd fuck it up with Neteyam. You had a cursed tendency to self sabotage. You did not know if being so freaking aware of it made you better or if it actually made you worse.

"Are you mad at me?" You ask nervously with furrowed eyebrows 

"(y/n)! It's not my feelings that you should be worried about! It's not my heart that you broke." Kiri scolded you as she looked at you with those big feline yellow eyes like she was actually horrified. You felt so bad for thinking it was kind of funny. "I know you don't wanna be Neteyam's mate but do you not care about him at all? Not even a little bit? He hasn't been the same ever since you dumped him and left. Poor thing can barely go train with dad. I think I saw him sniffing while hiding one of these days. Eywa knows that prideful teylu" (edible Pandoran bug) "would never cry in front of us."

"I swear I didn't mean to be cruel. I just did not know… how to react. It was sudden, you know? It's like, I don't know… a cultural shock? Humans don't go around asking people they just met to marry them. Or… become their mates." It would never feel normal to say "mates" to you

Apparently you had acted just like Kat Stratford in 10 Things I Hate About You, when she would cold heartedly refuse Patrick Verona over and over again. You used to always watch that vintage movie with Tracy. It was one of her favorites. 

"Don't act like it was the first time you two had met. Neteyam stared at you all the time when you came to our tribe. I swear to Eywa I've never seen him nervous to talk to a girl before but you have a power over my brother… it's fucking crazy to watch actually. He's like a needy, dumb dog drooling over you when he looks at you. It's even freaky." Kiri couldn't hold it back so she burst into laughter, hiding her mouth with her big but delicate hand

You were nervous as fuck but you started to laugh too. It seemed like the nervousness and guilt and tense vibe of the situation only made it worse, making everything even more funny and absurd.

"You know the worst part of it all?" You looked at her like a child who just broke their mom's most precious vase

"Great Mother, don't tell me there's more." Kiri said, incredulous

"I think I like Neteyam." You confessed like you were a good catholic girl confessing her sins to a priest

"You like him?!" She almost screamed

"You don't need to declare it out loud for the whole reef to hear!" You got slightly mad

"You teylu!" She smirked as she moved her head from side to side in disapproval "Why the hell did you dump him then?"

"I don't know, Kiri. Don't judge me, okay?" You put both your hands over your face, hiding it and moving your head from side to side yourself this time. 

At least you knew your attitude had been controversial and confusing to say the least. They say the first steps to recovery are realizing and admitting you're insane.

𓇼

It was now eclipse. You were inside Kiri's home with her and your human friends. Kate and Adeline were finishing unpacking their bags.

"Guys, I'm going out for some fresh air, okay?" You said, trying to find an excuse to get out of that marui filled with girls - human and na'vi.

"You've been acting weird lately." Adeline pointed out "Spending too much time alone."

Kiri discreetly looked at you with a look of concern in her face, as she was the only one of the girls who knew the reason behind your strange demeanor.

"I just need some air. I'll be back soon." You spoke as you walked towards the door of the marui

"Don't go in the ocean! It could be dangerous!" Kate yelled. She was the "mom friend" of the group.

"I know!" You laughed "I'm not stupid. I'm a scientist too. But thanks for your concern."

You walked through the beach for a while, trying to take a certain tall, handsome blue alien out of your mind when you saw Spider walking in the area too. He waved at you and you waved back.

You weren't as close to Spider as you were to Kiri and Lo'ak but you did love his company.

You sat on the sand with him, looking at the ocean, just like you had done with Kiri earlier and you two started to catch up and eventually the talk got deeper, more philosophical.

"Don't you feel crazy, Spider? Living among beings of another species? Don't you feel… left out?" Your eyes looked at him with genuine doubt in them

"I do, sometimes." He sighs "Especially because of how Mrs Sully acts towards me, at times" the both of you laughed quickly "But this place is my home. I was born in Pandora, I know nowhere else that I could call home. And also, I grew up around Lo'ak, Kiri, Neteyam and Tuk. They're family to me, even if not related by blood. It doesn't really matter in the end, family are the ones who are there for you. Not your bloodline." 

"Oh my God, I totally agree!" You rapidly say in a slight loud tone, chuckling, like you wanted to emphasize how much you shared the same opinion with him

"So..." You pondered if you should tell him or not "Neteyam talked to me last-"

"Yeah, I know. Ao'nung told me." Spider interrupted

"Of course he did..." You rolled your eyes and sighed. So everybody knew already...

Spider chuckled softly.

"Anyways, Neteyam calls me tawtute. I think it's funny that he calls me "human", but in na'vi"

"Yeah, that's him being affectionate towards you. He likes you. A lot." Spider pointed out

You stoped smiling and your heart started feeling painful.

"He probably hates me now, actually. I totally blew it off. I was really insensitive towards him." Shame and regret covered your face, as you were crestfallen

"Have you ever thought about apologizing?"

"Yeah, of course I have. Many times. I just…" You hesitated "I guess I can't face him now."

"Oh, c'mon. I know you can do it. Isn't it worse to be feeling guilty and sad and let Neteyam think you don't feel sorry for hurting him?"

"You have a point, Spider. God, I hate it when you're right." You laughed and slapped his arm softly, in a playful manner

𓇼

Adeline and Kate slept peacefully next to you, each one of them in a different mat - but the three mats had been placed next to the other. You, on the other hand, hadn't been able to sleep well in almost two months. Kiri told you and the girls she was gonna stay up and she now was, at the corner of the marui, making herself a new beaded necklace in the light of a tiny fire she had lit up.

As you laid quietly in your mat with your eyes closed but wide awake, you heard footsteps inside the marui. You could not believe it when you opened your eyes and you saw it was Neteyam. His tall, slender figure and head full of thin braids that danced in the air as he moved made you recognize him immediately, even in the dark of the eclipse.

Damn! Wasn't he supposed to be in the Omatikaya tribe right now? And what the hell was he even doing here instead of going to his parents' marui?

𓇼

Taglist:

@iman-lu

@leaveitbythewave

@creepytoes88

@live-laugh-neteyam

@swaggygurlbae

@neteluvr

@layla2-49

@a-blog-name-2003

@lala-1516

@jakesullyfatjuicypeen

@yeosxxx

@iaratezaewa

[impactedfates]

One Final Dance - Xiao x GN!Reader

Summary: You wanted to keep your job a secret from your boyfriend. You knew what could happen if he found out, but the truth always comes to light and he found out. But just before you deal with the consequences, you requested just one final dance with him

Warnings/Extra: Angst (At least I tried to make it) // Character Death (Reader) // OOC Xiao? // Not really proof read… // Time skips are seen like this -------->

.

.

.

W.C - 1423

A/N- My friend read it, I read it. I have a heavy love/hate relationship with it ngl, leaning more to hate but there is things I like about it. Which I hope you do too…ANYWAYS. Although I read it and so did my friend, I didn’t actually fix or edit anything. So you’re reading the raw (?) piece technically…enjoy? (I hope) 

Working as a Fatui member, you often had missions outside your home nation. This mission was situated in Liyue. You looked around the vase land, exploring a bit before returning back to your base camp. However, unluckily, a group of treasure hoarders came by. You were quick to pull out your weapon and were ready to fight them off.

You were doing well, however you didn’t notice a treasure hoarder coming up behind you, he raised his weapon and was about to slash it down towards you, you were able to turn your head in time to see a green mist suddenly in front of you, sending the treasure hoarder back.

You eyes met the back of a masked man, he was quick to dispose of the rest of the treasure hoarders, it went faster as you were quick to help him. After all's been dealt with, he turned to you.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m…fine…who are you?”

He turned back around, his head turning towards you as his polearm disappeared into thin air. His Anemo vision shined. You couldn’t help but take in his appearance fully now that there weren't many distractions.

“Who I am is not important…be safer next time”

He said, before disappearing in the same green mist he appeared in. You paused a bit. Remembering his appearance. His mask, his short green hair, his tattooed arm. His clothing. And his voice.

You paused a bit

You wanted to see him again.

.

.

.

“How many times must I tell you to be careful”

The man who you learnt was named Xiao spoke after saving you for the nth time. You smiled slyly at him and scratched the back of your head.

“Quite a lot it seems”

You replied, Xiao shook his head at you, disappointed. He had given you his name, so you could call him when you were in danger. Although you could easily defend yourself from most enemies. You couldn’t help but want to see Xiao more and more with each encounter.

“If you continue calling my name like this, I’m going to think you’re messing with me”

“Is it so wrong to want to see you?”

You admitted, raising a brow. He seemed taken aback by your statement before crossing his arms. Oh he was definitely going to lecture you about calling his name just to see him.

“I had thought it was…suspicious. You seemed completely fine every time you called for me, and you also seemed perfectly capable of fighting…so you only called my name to see me?”

“...Maybe?”

“...If…if you truly just want to see me…then just stop by Wangshu Inn instead. I think it’s…better. We can actually talk without being interrupted by hilichurls attacking”

And with that, Xiao quickly left, teleporting away.

.

.

.

“What do you mean you don’t know how to dance!?”

You exclaimed, looking shocked at Xiao when he revealed his inability to dance. He looked away, a blush dusting his face before nodding.

“My life was filled with fighting, even after Morax saved me, I am still fighting. Fighting to protect Liyue, fighting my karmatic debt…I guess I didn’t have time to learn to dance”

“But you have time to hang out with me huh?”

Xiao’s cheeks grew redder, turning his whole body away and crossing his arms. Even though he did this to hide how he felt, you could tell he was flustered.

You softly laughed at your friend's reaction. You enjoyed these times. Where you could get free time from your usual Fatui duties to hang out with Xiao. Someone who you had gained feelings for. You wish you could tell him your true occupation but…his job to protect Liyue and you being a part of a group that could put Liyue in danger? It was best for you to keep it a secret, so you could continue this friendship.

You slowly walked up to Xiao, tapping his shoulder and lending a hand out towards him.

“Well…if you want. I could teach you. Right here, right now”

Xiao turned to you and looked at your extended hand. With a small sigh he took your hand, with a grin you were quick to pull him into a slow dance. Guiding him on where to place his hands. With each step you took, with each mistake he made as he apologies with a small blush. The moonlight shining on the two of you. And near the end of the dance, perhaps it was the atmosphere that made things the perfect setting. Slowly he leaned in and you two shared a kiss under the moonlight.

I guess your feelings were reciprocated.

.

.

.

Today marks the anniversary for you and your boyfriend Xiao! You’ve been dating for 3 whole years and everything was perfect. You had your ups and downs sure, every couple does. But you two truly loved each other. With a bag in hand and a wave bye to your comrades. You made your way to Wangshu Inn.

You smiled at Verr Goldet, who gave you a nod as she saw you walk up. She was the first person to find out about your relationship with the adeptus himself. And she grew fond of you.

“Xiaoooo, are you here? Where are yo-”

You froze, eyes widening when you saw someone pointing a polearm at your neck. That someone, being your boyfriend. You quickly raise your hands and tried to walk back a bit.

“X-Xiao? What’s going on?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

You opened your mouth to ask, what was he talking about? Until you stiffened. Did he…find out? Find out about your true occupation.

“You said you worked as a wandering merchant…you had goods with you I-I thought I could trust you…I wanted to surprise you today by picking you up but I couldn’t find you where you said you were…I got worried, I saw you with the Fatui…I thought you had gotten caught but…no…it was clear to me you were lying to me from the start”

You looked down, thinning your lips. You couldn’t deny his allegations, he saw you. He knew you were lying but…you truly did like him.

“Xiao…I…please, I love you, my job as a Fatui won’t affect this relationship”

“But it might affect the safety of Liyue! You…”

Xiao felt the words die on his tongue. He loved you dearly, but he cannot just let you go after finding out who you work for. After finding out what you could do to endanger the citizens of Liyue.

“[Name]...I’m sorry I just…I hope you can understand, but I cannot just…”

“...I understand”

Xiao lowered his polearm, he took some deep breaths as you carefully placed your gift on the ground and slowly walked over.

“But…before you…well…ensure I’m no longer a threat to Liyue…can we have one final dance?”

Xiao looked at you, his eyes softening at your request. After much thought, he put away his polearm and lent out his hand which you happily took. And just like 3 years ago, you two danced under the moonlight. The movement was careful, no mistakes made anymore. Xiao leaned in for the final time and gave you a kiss.

With a heavy heart, he summoned his polearm again and stabbed you through the chest. You coughed up blood, quickly clinging to his clothing, you looked up to him and smiled despite everything. The blood running down his polearm and dripping on the ground.

Your eyes slowly lost their light and sparkle. The light and sparkle Xiao loved to see. He held your body close to his own. He felt like crying. But he couldn’t, not now.

.

.

.

After burying your body, after placing flowers on your grave. He teleported himself back to WangShu in, his eyes landed on the bag you wanted to give him for your anniversary. He walked over to it and picked the bag up, taking the gift out he felt a shortness of his breath as his eyes landed on it.

.

.

.

.

.

.

The traveller's eyes lingered on a photo frame of Xiao and an unfamiliar person. The two of them smiling, Xiao is holding onto the person in a loving embrace. They turned to Xiao, wanting to ask about it but they stopped themselves as they saw how he looked at the photo himself. With such sadness and seemingly regret.

They thought it was best to keep quiet about it. It must’ve been someone important to Xiao that had been laid to rest. 

If only they knew that Xiao was the reason they had to be laid to rest.

[plzu]

my form is but a wreck beneath you - (Miguel O'Hara x Venom!Symbiote!Reader)

summary: you find out the penalty that awaits you for breaking Miguel's #1 rule: don't let out the symbiote warnings: overstimulation, p in v sex, dubcon elements, no Y/N, implied venom x reader a/n: day 1 (don't look at today's date shhh) of @flightlessangelwings's kinktober 2023 prompt list: overstimulation. the unofficial part 2 of sleeping with roaches. title inspired by Sleep Token's Gods wordcount: 1.5k

“It's too much..!”

“Oh, yeah?”

An endless current of pleasure crackles forth from your core and prickles just beneath your flesh as Miguel mercilessly rocks into you.

“That's too bad,” he says, without an ounce of sympathy. “You're gonna have to keep taking it.”

His skin feels hot and heavy against you. When he speaks, his words come out in a low, gravelly murmur against the skin of your neck. The space between your bodies feels impossibly, deliciously wet. It makes for an embarrassing squelching sound as he repeatedly disappears into your achingly sore cunt; it does little to mask the raw-throated whining that tumbles incoherently from your gaping mouth.

You've lost track of how many orgasms he's managed to rip from you already.

Buzzing like a gnat in the foggy recesses of your brain is something like a gleeful coo from Venom within, like he's pleased with the position you're in. Go figure. It's his fault you're even in this position in the first place, but you're the one getting punished for it while he sits on the sidelines and observes.

Pervert.

This huge building was built for Spider-people, easy to traverse if you can swing on webs and can literally walk on walls.

You are not one of those people.

You're a nobody, who, through some unfortunate twist of fate that resulted in losing your best friend, ended up becoming a host for a symbiote.

As such, if you slip and fall whilst walking along one of the many long, suspended corridors in Miguel's headquarters, you don't naturally have a way to save yourself with your normal, human limbs.

Venom's limbs, on the other hand?

Well. Before you had time to even process the fact that you were falling, Venom emerged, completely encasing your frail human body with his so he can use his strong, inky tendrils to haul you both back up to safety.

Forget the fact that he could have potentially fixed your broken body, like he’s done before.

Forget the fact that literally any of the dozens of Spider-folk milling about could easily have come to your rescue.

Forget the fact that he could have simply shot out a single inky tendril, similar to the other web-slingers, without having to completely emerge himself. An action that only would have resulted in a warning glare from Miguel.

No matter how unintentional, you transformed into Venom in this dimension, breaking the #1 rule you have to follow in order to keep in Miguel’s good graces. (Relatively. The guy’s a huge grump). A problem you're now being bodily disciplined for.

Now you’re flat on your back, wrists shackled above your head by some high-tech handcuffs, completely at Miguel's mercy.

(Or lack thereof.)

He made you cum with his hands first, a disdainful sneer on his face as you clamped down on his thick, unforgiving fingers, crying out. He didn't stop, not as you squirmed helplessly against his hand, not as the second orgasm crested mere moments after the first, not as you bit your bottom lip raw in an attempt to suppress a cascade of apologies from spilling from your mouth.

Sorries were worthless, here. After all, the goal wasn't to get you to apologize (which you already did, on your knees). The goal was to see how long you can go, how much you can take, while keeping Venom contained. An exercise in self-control and obedience.

(It didn't matter that the symbiote was sitting smugly satisfied within, watching Miguel ravage your insides.)

(Like Miguel would trust you if you told him, anyway.)

Then he moved his attention to your breasts, harshly yanking both shirt and bra up at once to reveal your hardened nipples. He tweaked and tugged at them until you came yet again, pussy fluttering uselessly around nothing. (You didn’t even know it was possible to come like this.) Even after your bucking orgasm, Miguel continued rolling your nipples between his thumbs and forefingers until the pleasure turned to pain, and every contact made against them afterwards would just chafe. 

Every orgasm since then has been produced by the relentless thrust of his cock inside you. There's a moment's reprieve as Miguel slides nearly all the way out of you so he can maneuver the lower half of your body. His large hands grip the backs of your quaking thighs, spreading your legs wide open, completely displaying the abused, sopping wet mess of your cunt to him. Pushing your legs higher and further against your torso, he looks at the way your pussy frames his thick length, gleaming in your overflowing juices. Then he slides slowly forward, disappears into the aching clutch of your sex, making you whimper.

No matter how many times you've done this before, how many times he's stretched you out with the impossible girth of him, your pussy can never seem to fully accommodate his size, and he so rarely gives you the chance to get used to him.

No, that could be mistaken for affectionate. 

So you revel in the sweet pain instead, choke on it when he pummels into you with an angry, restless fervor.

Feeling the glide of his cock against your over-sensitive walls, you can't comprehend how this man has the stamina to keep going. You're both drenched in sweat. Some brown fly-away curls stick to his damp forehead, and it’d be endearing if he weren't so ruthlessly fucking into you, contempt in his crimson gaze. 

You don't know how much more you can take. But he's still ramming into you at a punishing pace. It's like he was made just to draw out both your pleasure and your pain, in whatever circle of Hell this is.

“Miguel, please,” you whine. “I don’t- nnh- I don’t have anything left..!”

“We’ll see about that, nena.” He hooks your legs over his broad shoulders and bears down further into you. The head of his cock presses deep against your cervix, the contact making you gasp, exhausted eyes flying wide open.

You wriggle in place, body instinctively trying to get away from the overwhelming feeling of him pressed so deeply into you. But it's fruitless. Trapped between the hard and unforgiving floor and the weight of Miguel's body, there's nowhere to go as he continues to fuck you senseless.

The sharp sting of pleasure that erupts in your core with every thrust muddies your thoughts until all that's left is a contiguous stream of Too much too much it's so good s-so good d-don't stop don't stop please-

A dark rumble in the back of your skull indicates a chuckle from the symbiote. He certainly finds it entertaining that even though Miguel has surely wrung out every last climax from you, even though your muscles ache from being manhandled, even though your insides have been rubbed raw, you still silently beg for more.

Miguel's thumb finds its way between your bodies to your already-swollen clit, making you jolt.

“I can't, I can't,” you sob, shaking your head. There's no way you can cum again, there's no way-

“You will,” he growls, rubbing erratic circles against the bundle of abused nerves. His cock is wedged firmly against your center, a stubborn pressure you can feel fill up your gut so fully. His hips rut against you, and you’d almost swear that he was trying to puncture your womb.

The dam keeping your orgasm at bay finally breaks under the persistent knocking of his head against that agonizing sweet spot inside of you, flooding Miguel's cock with your release, your mouth hanging open in a wordless shout. Your body trembles with the ferocity of your climax, limbs pulling taut until they finally go lax.

Your chest heaves with exertion. Your wrists feel uncomfortable in their restraints, arms almost aching with the desire of wanting to stretch in any other direction besides above your head, but unable to.

Miguel's cock twitches, and you realize he's still inside you, practically plugging you up.  

Between ragged breaths, you muster up the energy to blink bleary eyes up at him from between your trapped limbs. There's almost a hunger in his gaze, in the way his mouth hangs open and in the protrusion of his fangs. His chest heaves with less exertion than your own, tanned skin shiny with sweat.

It's these little moments where the anger and hatred for you seems quieted, replaced with something else, something almost tender and obsessive. Despite your exhaustion and aching limbs, it makes your heart flutter, and your pussy clamps down involuntarily around him.

This snaps him out of it with a grunt, and his lips pull back in a snarl.

He pulls back out of you, allowing your legs to slide off from the breadth of his shoulders. Your cunt aches with the sudden absence of his warm, heavy cock. You think with distant relief that this is it, that the torment of unending orgasms has finally ceased, but then Miguel moves his right arm up and firmly grasps the restraints of your wrists.

His face inches towards yours, tantalizingly threatening and permeating heat. You feel his cock slide against your slick folds, brushing abrasively against your clit and making you flinch in his hold.

“Now,” he mutters, words fanning against the damp skin of your cheek. “Let's do this one last time.”

[limerental]

ficletvember 2024 - day 30

isengrim/dijkstra

Isengrim cares for his human lover in his frail old age.

The townhouse stairs creak as the elf climbs, balancing a dinner tray, and though he navigates them easily, his reflexes honed by years of combat in wild Northern forests, Isengrim curses as he always does the steepness and uneven breadth of the stairs.

“We should've retired to the coast,” he says as the final landing gives way to the fire-warmed bedroom. “Anywhere but Novigrad. I fear the house grows more crooked by the day. I'm liable to finally break a leg on these damn steps, and then who will take care of you?”

He sets the tray on a bedside table and leans to fix the pillows that prop up the old man in bed. 

“You gettin’ old, Grim?” asks Sigi with the crack of a dry smile. Though it's midday, he only woke some time ago and is likely to sleep again soon. Isengrim adjusts the pillow so that his head doesn't list and touches his lips briefly to his bald crown.

Isengrim truly does feel old, nearing three hundred years with most of them squandered on joyless, ill-fated ventures that have amounted to nothing. Sigi has just passed eighty-five. Not ancient for a human by any means, but this past winter was hard on his health and his damaged ankle and arthritis and varying other ailments plague him and these days even rising from bed is an ordeal.

It aches to even look at him, each time expecting the hale and massive man he'd met in the wilderness. Age has shrunk the human to alarming smallness, stooping his back and leaving his limbs frail as bare bone, his cheeks hollowed.

Isengrim remembers thinking he'd looked terribly old back then, as most humans do to him, how he had once balked at the things he felt. Surely, he could not feel any attraction toward an ugly, oafish human past his prime. Surely said human could feel no desire for some disfigured, rangy elf. 

But both had, in deep and fierce ways that lasted.

“We could be sunning ourselves on the beach,” Isengrim says as he pours out a mug of tea, stirring in just the right amount of cream, “but no, you couldn't possibly sell this wretched place.”

“It's our home,” says Sigi. He coughs, and Isengrim helps him drink small sips, barely a moment before he's waved a way. “The beaches in Novigrad are shit anyway.”

“Somewhere further south then. Or in the East.”

“I’ve had my fill of travel. I've had my grave plot in Redania paid for for years, and I'll not have that go to waste.”

He may have made some quip about human burials being both needlessly tedious and lacking the artistry of Elven crypts, but it feels a little too real and raw these days, the time approaching when Sigi will pass.

Sigi wanted a simple stone on the round of a hill. No inscription but his name. He'd balked at the thought of Isengrim commissioning a statue of him, something looming and life-like. He'd rather fade into the shadows of history, as forgotten as any spy.

It's been months since the human has left the bedroom at all, far longer since he navigated the cumbersome stairs without aid. Years ago, they'd argued often about relocating, at least in converting one of the downstairs rooms to a bedchamber, but Sigi has always been ceaselessly and wretchedly stubborn and will be to the very bitter end.

The townhouse has been their home for nearly three decades, and the top floor bedroom is the safest and warmest place that Isengrim has ever known. Seeping pleasure and comfort and security, all felt between these walls, in this bed, in the arms of this man.

Once he finally leaves it, he's unlikely to know something close to those feelings again. 

Isengrim tries to coax the old man into eating the bowl of soup he's brought up on the tray, but as usual, Sigi has no appetite and resists the offered spoon. It’s a futile effort, but Isengrim is stubborn in equal measure. 

Part of him think Sigi's choosing not to eat, forcing himself to dwindle faster so as not to burden Isengrim more than need be. The thought clenches something in his chest. If need be, he would clean chamberpots and help Sigi bathe and carry him anywhere, always, for hundreds more years.

“Speaking of the coast,” says Sigi.

“Not this again.”

“Reliable sources say there's a fleet of vessels readying to sail. That there's a gate across the sea that the elves plan to cross through.”

“It’s a fairytale,” says Isengrim. “Your bard's been telling you bedtime stories.”

He knows it's true, that for years the remaining elves have planned to depart this world. The efforts of the Scoia’tael have amounted to nothing, few left alive, and even the elves in Dol Blathanna have grown weary of human hostility. Francesca had been bold enough to request he join them, but he could tell she'd known his answer even as she asked.

What could any other world have to offer him?

His place is here.

“I have the coin. Pay someone to mind me, and board a boat, Wolf.” His beloved speaks slowly, trailing off with weariness.

“Pity the poor bastard who took that job,” says Isengrim. “You know they'd never do a single thing to your liking.”

Sigi hums in agreement and closes his eyes.

He sleeps until dusk and wakes as he does some evenings, delirious and agitated, not knowing how many years have passed since their long nights in Zerrikania. 

He asks for a drink, that mulled wine they bought in the market last summer.

“You downed the lot of it, remember?”  Isengrim recalls the spice on his tongue, kissed off of warm lips. The remainder of that night blurs with the rest of them spent in the East. 

Had that been the night Sigi dared to hoist Isengrim over his shoulder to drag him off to bed?  Or the one where they'd gotten so drunk they'd nearly toppled from the balcony? Or when they had first offered hushed confessions, quiet with the impossibility of the feeling, to be so close to another living person, to feel subsumed by him entirely.

Isengrim is glad at least that Sigi has yet to wake and not know him at all, to balk at the presence of a strange, disfigured elf in his bedchamber. When his memory fails him, he is always brought back to the earliest days of loving one another, feeling young together, living their tenderest moments over again.

Sigi spends an hour telling stories he told yesterday, and when Isengrim goes downstairs for more firewood, he returns to find him sleeping again. 

The tired elf feeds a log to the fire, dresses for bed, and climbs in beside the old man to lay a hand on his sharp breastbone as it rises and falls, waiting for the end.

[pool-floatie]

Tall Tales Part 3.

Aaa! Im so glad people are liking this, I enjoy writing it even more! Dont yall worry, Jace isnt that bad I proooomise, he just has to be a little bit of an evil boi so I can get my fearplay fix. 🤷😅👍

The little human, still unsure what to make of the Giants sudden gesture of affection, was flushed pink in the cheeks. They raised their shoulders in an attempt to hide the blush, but the only person who could have seen it was a bit spaced right now.

"o-oh sorry did that hurt ?"

Av shook their head, -it only hurt a little.... Thats improvement . . but why would he care anyway !? He almost killed me!-

Jace tried to think of remedies for bruises, or if the purple color was a good thing, or how long they might take to heal,, anything! but his useless brain held nothing of value to this situation.

"wellllllll, , , we could eat ? Im starving right now."

Av still wasnt sure if this huge fucker was going to eat them or not.....

" ..Mhmm " they mumbled.

Jace smiled, food was a thing he could accomplish.

"Wonderful! now, I usually go out and hunt but that requires both hands and some mobility, so I can't carry you with me,, ooh, let me check something."

Jace placed av back on the jacket. He turned and lifted a whole ass boulder, revealing a 'small' stash of herbs and plants, Jace hummed in thought,

" well I have this -" he showed an entire handful of potatos, still attatched to the plant. "I just use most of these as spices, but these things are good fillers"

Av was glad he had some form of nutrients, truthfully they were quite hungry.

" su- sure..."

Jace smiled, placing a few potatos onto his jacket in front of Av, and began popping a few into his mouth.

Av averted their gase from Jaces mouth, not wanting to envision that future death too vividly.

They approached the raw, fresh-out-the-ground roots, and picked one up examining it.

-Maybe this is all he'll give me, just enough to survive , and it'd look stupid complaining, but, , , he doesnt seem too still be mad ?-

...."um, humans c-can't, um, have these raw ... " Av stammered nervously.

Jace sighed

"well...damn, it's supposed to rain tonight... But I think I can get a fire started for a little while.

Av watched the titan move across his land, covering the huge distance easily. He gathered wood (just huge dead trees), set up a wood pyramid, and sparked a flame using rocks.

As the fire caught and the flames grew, Jace worried that the tiny may be getting hot in his jacket, he scooped up the fabric in two hands and moved it to a cooler spot, farther from the fire

"sorry if it got a lil hot for a second, you ok in there ?"

Av, still shaken and sprawled on their ass from being moved so abruptly, just stared ahead and gave a nod.

Im gonna grab water and cook these up, ok ?"

Without waiting for a response, Jace left the camp . Left Avril there. Alone. On the ground.

They looked both ways, as if expecting a trap to spring, took a cautious step back, , , and

Bolted

[the-owl-tree]

I wish starlight had a better redemption arc. lowkey that’s the only reason I hate her outside of her dumbass backstory (I could fix it) and the lack of explanation for her being almost alicorn level gifted. like lemme tweak her backstory a bit:

she was considered exceptionally talented and everyone had high hopes for her to go far in life or could even get into celestia’s school (kinda like twilight) but she was suuuuper attached to sunburst in an unhealthy way (bpd gang rise up) leading to her revolving her entire world and life around him and when he left she completely spiraled and used her powers to keep others around her from leaving. her specialty are memory and mind altering spells since she canonically even after her “redemption” can’t seem to stop revoking other pony’s rights to free will.

she operates on pure natural talent and raw might due to lack of proper training so it was actually really easy to defeat her and send her packing out of her village. her second appearance she came back with the alicorn amulet (the one trixie had in that episode, but it was gone so fast I am ignoring it. that’s such a cool item wasted on one episode?? no) which is how she fucked with alternate the realities.

in a world where friendships and bonds are pretty much building blocks for their society I can see it being probable that pony’s without friends could suffer health wise too. not just mentally but physically. maybe she never got her cutie mark and blames friendship in general for stunting her. she doesn’t hate just twilight, she hates ALL of equestria. every other pony has someone and she has nothing and no one. no friends, no cutie mark, no purpose. just rage.

when she is defeated again, she should have faced actual consequences. send that horse to prison. idk. why did cozy glow get sent to hell. this isn’t about her.

I think a probation period or similar where she has to earn back the right to use her magic while attending the friendship school and amending her crimes would have been good to see. she her earning forgiveness. show her earning her cutie mark! show her apologizing to every pony she hurt and then accepting they won’t like her anyway! I know it’s a kids show and really they can’t do too many heavy topics, but also I hate this horse

Starlight's insane magical power without any amulets or anything bothered me, I like the idea of her getting her hands on it instead of her just being super mega OP. I get it's for the sake of the plot but it's also sort of like...does magic need to be trained? What's the point of magic schools if the average unicorn can learn a teleportation spell rather easily? do you guys ever think about how OP magic gets in the later seasons, regardless-

It felt weird that the way they chose to write her being won over by Twilight is literally forcing her between a rock and a hard place. Either start being nicies or apocalypse time forever, isn't that fun! It makes it even more disingenuous with how little time they spend redeeming her or even having her recognize the impact she's had on those around her (it bothers me the show seems more invested in how Starlight has been hurt by the Our Town debacle than the Our Town ponies). It also doesn't help her backstory is embarrassing...like girl write a letter you can levitate quills some kids have to use their damn mouths!

I disagree with her being locked up, mainly because I think MLP's weird tonal dissonance around incarceration is uh really weird for the neon pony story (seriously. why did they lock the child in tartarus, why did they turn the child to STONE). Rehabilitative justice is a GREAT thing for kids to learn, showing that anyone can change with work, kindness, and friendship (in the show at least lol)! But by not centering who Starlight hurt and just rushing through her actually working to be better, it makes her story lacklustre and half-hearted. At least in my opinion!

[katsukikitten]

continuation of a selfship drabble master list here

The leaves on the ground give him pause, brow furrowing as he notices you haven't posted anything for a solid two weeks now, not even a status. Almost a month since he spoke to you last.

He sighs, berates himself for doing it but he has to know that you're at least still alive. Checking your location first and he's thankful you still haven't turned it off. Looks like you're either headed back to your apartment or out. Sees that Taro is with you and closes the app.

Tells himself that's good enough, that at least he knows you're living, that you were in the hands of someone he trusted dearly. So he pockets his phone only to pull it right back out.

Is she okay?

Sky blue eyes stare down at the message, chancing a glance at you who's driving as if he could get into trouble. Slander thumbs make quick work of a response.

I reckon

makin me sing all the fuckin songs on the radio

especially TOD

Kaza feels conflicted, tongue running along his teeth as he rereads the rapid messages. Before he can reply another comes on.

Your singles've been playing a lot. not while I'm in the car but shit is obvious.

Fuck, fuck he shouldn't have even fuckin recorded them. Soft sad melodies that played in his head during the witching hour. Shouldn't have ever put your voice memos layered to sound like background barely audibly just for him to call out to you before the next verse. Text me when you get home, I love you. Something he said to you over and over again.

that vent song we made together that Muzan fuckin released anyway.

and this sad ass song I can't stomach

we ain't strangers to them right

pretty girl think that? that we're fuckin strangers?

Attached is a link to the song that he clicks quickly to listen to, lyrics solemn and sad. Just his single, just like the vent song he and taro made, still unable to capture the well of sadness and anger in his chest. Glaring down at his phone, trying to calm his breath, Akaza was the main reason why the band had to take a hiatus in the first place.

Punching band members, punching aggressive fans that asked about you, punching Muzan when he tried to offer up his niece as someone that he or Gyutaro could date. He would have broken his jaw if it wasn't for the other three band members trying to pull him off.

Like pulling a wild dog off a bone.

A wolf off a carcass.

He did break Koku's orbital bone with his elbow when he tried throwing them off. It was Gyutaro who thought quickly enough to shout "She'll be pissed if ya get jail time."

But the threat of that died the next day when he found himself smiling down at four men in a four v one that he instigated. Running his hand through his fading pink hair. Biting the inside of his already raw cheek.

He reassures his bandmate easily

your pretty girl always thinks the world of ya. tell her the truth she'll believe ya

To which the dark haired man replies quickly

fuck off you first

"Stubborn bastard." He growls to no one but himself before his phone pings, not a message but a notification.

Clicking on it way too quickly to see a selfie of you and Taro both flicking off the camera. The man is smoking, cigarette hanging from his lips, phone in his other hand screen still aglow as if he was in the middle of a reply.

Clearly at a stop light, your hair wind blown and the two of you are in your car, the one he helped you fix up and by helped he asked you to "sit and look pretty princess" while he did all of the work because he wanted to.Still does.

But he can't, not anymore. No way to explain what happened and maybe he doesn't think he deserves to even attempt to tell you a truth you won't believe anyway.

The caption reads still livin, still hate the end of summer

He pats himself down for his smokes, debates if he should vague, cupping his hand around the end of the stick before the flame flickers to life and catches. Burning as he breathes in and exhales slowly leaving a gray cloud in its wake.

Deciding against it when another selfie comes through, you with your eyes closed and peace sign up, oversized hoodie, his hoodie, making the neckline a bit lower, seeing something circular and black on a dainty chain, like a ring or band. A necklace he doesn't recognize, at least at first, eyes going to the caption.

we'll go back to strangers

Stomach dropping as the lyrics match up to the song he listens to now. Although she wasn't musically inclined she's always been drawn to it, he knew that. Knew her music reflected her moods more often than not.

Knew that when he released his single. The one that made her go radio silent to the entire group, even if she wasn't angry with them, for an entire two months before Gyutaro showed up at her door.

Another text comes in pulling him from his thoughts only to fan the flames.

she still has that fuckin ring

And then it hits him, the circular band too small for his inked digits burns against his skin under his shirt hanging from a chain. Fingers flying to it to feel the smoothness of the rose gold and the embedded onyx gem and black diamonds surrounding it. The same ring you flung back at him when everything happened so fast.

Looking at the photo you posted again and finally seeing the 'pendant' for what it really was. A black wedding band meant to match a black gemmed wedding ring.

The revelation makes him see red, makes a clotting mix of deep sorrow and anger twist and knot in his chest, losing when one starts and the other ends. Just how he sees you and him. Quick to start his bike, to abandon his half finished cigarette and skid out of his parking spot before he heads back inside to bloody his knuckles again. He was the cause of this, of your sorry.

Your pain.

Heart beating way too fast and yet slowing as he starts to become numb. Grip tight on his bike's handle and phone making it glitch. Snapping pictures, opening apps from feeling his skin, the sensors not knowing what to register and trying to pinpoint the most pressure.

Meanwhile his speedometer climbs higher and higher.

190

200

220

250

Slowly creeping higher as his bike whines from exertion. Weaving between cars that barely register as a blur as he navigates the highway this late at night.

His phone vibrates excessively before his headphones interrupt the looped song to signify he had an incoming call before picking up for him. Wind from no helmet going to to make it near impossible for him to say anything back unless he screamed.

"Slow down and delete that fuckin picture before she sees it. Right the fuck NOW!" Gravely voice rarely raised, especially when aimed at family.

But Akaza can't be fucking bothered, barely audible as he growls "Shut the fuck up." With that he hangs up and when it rings again he doesn't bother answering it, launching it into the concrete guard unable to watch it explode into a million pieces from his speed.

Part of him thinks he should let go, just finally let the ride take him like it was always supposed to.

Fitting that a violent life would lead to a violent end.

Until the ghost of you curls around his back, static before your pretty voice would ring through his ear pods because you called him on his way home from work.

"Careful Jiji, I just want you home in one piece."

Making him grip his brakes as fast as possible without flinging himself over the handlebars, stopped on the side of the shoulder as a few cars past by him.

He walks back the handful of miles to where he threw his phone, whistling lowly when he sees nothing but a star shower of glittering glass and smashed innards.

Kneeling down and determining that nothing was salvageable. Running his broad palm through his hair slowly.

God could he be anymore of a fuck up?

He was sure he couldn't.

But he'd be proved otherwise, when he turns on his new phone the next afternoon sees several missed calls from his foxy sister, from Taro and one from you at 3am.

Not a vague, not a message, a phone call. Voicemail flashing at the top of the fresh screen. Inked fingers fumbling over the glass as he goes to listen, your voice filling him with absolute dread.

How you try to force the venom into your tone, how you can't hide how you've been crying, how you're still shaking. Pouty lip wobbling from the weight he put on you by giving in to his anger.

"You better be fuckin dead."

Before the line goes as dead as he feels inside.

He really truly was a demon.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Carla Ecstasy [05]

ー The scene starts outside of Banmaden

Male Ghoul A: Oi! Are you done honing the swords!? Make sure to do the spare ones as well!

Male Ghoul C: Hold up! I’m still doing the final check-ups of the armor!

Male Ghoul B: The Vibora are on their way to attack this castle! We don’t have a single second to lose!

Male Ghoul C: Look who’s talking! Maybe move your hands instead of your mouth then?

Male Ghoul B: Excuse me...!?

Male Ghoul A: Oi, wait. Now’s hardly the time for us to start arguing, is it?

...But this really sucks. With the war drawing close, Shin-sama’s training has become more and more strict.

Haah. I feel like my body isn’t going to hold up at this rate.

*SCENE SHIFT*

Kino: Aha! The Ghouls are starting to panic with the Vibora clan commencing their attack. 

( ...Well then. The war will start at last. )

( To ensure that I can gain control over the Demon World ーー I will need a place which can serve as my footing. )

( Being located in the centre of the Demon World, Banmaden would honestly be the ideal fit. )

( There’s also Eve as well. With her connections to the Demon Lord, she could use her as quite the powerful trump card. )

Putting that aside, there’s two people who could get in my way.

( Carla and Shin ーー No matter what happens, I can’t imagine they will ever become my pawns. )

( I figured Carla would make a run for it to Rotigenberg, fearing his illness. )

( But he’s surprisingly persistent and ultimately decided to stay here at this Castle. )

...This is exactly why I hate people who can’t get over their big-ass pride.

With people like that ーー You have take them down a peg or two. 

ー Kino approaches the Ghouls

Male Ghoul A: Ah, Kino-sama!

Kino: You guys seem really motivated! How does it feel, knowing you’ll be heading into your very first fight?

Male Ghoul A: Ahー ...Well.

Male Ghoul B: ...That’s...

Kino: ...? What’s wrong? You seem anxious.

Male Ghoul B: Ahー Yeah. We are. You see...

Kino: ...? You can tell me anything. I’ll listen to all of your worries.

Male Ghoul B: No, it’s just that we don’t have any magical powers. ...So we can’t help but be worried how much of a chance we’ll stand against the Vibora.

Male Ghoul A: Besides, we lose to the Vibora troops both in numbers and raw power...

Kino: Yeah, I understand. I’m worried about that as well. 

Even though I made Carla a suggestion which would easily fix the issue with the Vibora, he blew it off. 

Male Ghoul B: Fix the issue with the Vibora...?

Kino: Exactly. A wonderful plan where nobody would have to fight.

Male Ghoul C: Eh? What does that plan entail exactly...!?

Kino: Fufu. You seeーー

ー Kino explains to them

Kino: There you have it. As long as we offer her to the Vibora Clan, we’d easily be able to form an alliance with the Vibora Clan.

I guess he said no because he doesn’t want to lose his own woman.

Male Ghoul B: ...No wayーー So we’re being forced to risk our lives in an unnecessary fight over such a trivial reason!?

Male Ghoul A: Does that mean that Carla-sama doesn’t take us into consideration at all...!?

Male Ghoul C: ...Hey. Why don’t we go confront him directly about this?

Male Ghoul B: Confront him directly, huh? ーー You’re right. Let’s go tell him that he can’t just sacrifice us like this!

Male Ghoul A: Okay, off we go!

ー The Ghouls run off

Kino: Perfect. They took the bait, just as I thought.

Now Carla will have some important taken away from him as well. 

I hope he loses all will to live. That’d make my job a lot easier.

Anyway, I better go check how things turned out afterwards. ...Well then, for my next moveーー

ー Yuuri walks up to him

Kino: ...Hm? Aah, Yuuri. Anything you need?

Yuuri: ...You seem to be in a good mood.

Kino: Yeah! My plan is going perfectly, fufu~

Yuuri: ...Kino. There is something I would like to ask you once again.

About the Founders who are supposedly trying to get us out of the picture.

That is what you told us, but he accepted us as his allies so we can fight for him.

I simply cannot imagine that his end goal is to get rid of us.

Kino: Ah, about that. that was just something I said on a whim.

Yuuri: Hah?

Kino: Like I said, I randomly made it up. 

Yuuri: ...Why would he tell such a lie? 

Kino: Eh? No reason in particular. Just felt like it.

Yuuri: ...

Kino: Oh geez, don’t make such a scary expression, Yuuri. 

ー They can hear a commotion

Kino: Ah. Seems like Ghouls are finally rebelling against the Founder King. I can’t miss this!

ー Kino walks away

Yuuri: Kino...

ー The scene shifts to the saloon

Carla: ーー It is awfully noisy in the entrance hall.

Shin: ...? What could be happening? Don’t tell me it’s the Vibora!?

Carla: No, it is too early for that. Besides, it does not sound like a fight.

Shin: Then what on earth...?

Carla: ーー Either way, let us go. 

ー Yui gets up

Yui: I’m coming as well.

ー The scene shifts to the entrance hall

Male Ghoul B: There he is! The Founder King!

Male Ghoul A: Founder King! Please listen to us!!

Carla: ...!

Shin: Oi, oi, what’s this ruckus for!? Calm down!

Male Ghoul B: We want to talk to the Founder King! You stay out of this!

Shin: Excuse me...!?

Carla: Shin. Stop.

Shin: But, Nii-san!

Carla: They said that they want to talk to me. So I shall listen. 

Shin: ...!

Carla: Yui. You return to your room.

Yui: No. I’ll stay here. 

Carla: ...You will not do as I say?

Yui: I’m sorry. I will not.

Carla: ...!?

Selection

→ I cannot ignore this

Yui: I cannot ignore this situation. 

Even if I were to return to my room, I believe I would worry myself sick.

So I shall remain here.

Carla: ...So you are remainig here out of your own selfish desires. Do as you please then.

Yui: Yes...

( He sounded a little cold just now... )

( But I am indeed being selfish, so I guess I cannot blame him... )

→ I want to be by your side (❦)

Yui: I want to be there for you. Always, at all times.

No matter what happens, that is a choice I made for myself. I will not regret it.

Carla: ...Hmph. If you are that insistent, be my guest.

Yui: Yes...!

ー Carla walks up to the Ghouls

Carla: Sorry for the wait. Ghouls, tell me what you have to say.

Monologue

The Ghouls suddenly stormed Banmaden. 

They are demanding an audience with the Founder King.

I wonder if the reality,

of the Vibora Clan who have initiated their attack on Banmaden,

is affecting them as well. 

In the end, the misgivings (疑問) around Carla-san’s possible involvement with the death of the young lad,

has yet to be resolved. 

Given these circumstances,

It honestly would not be strange,

if this had triggered feelings of displeasure and doubt (疑問) towards the Founders,

amidst the Ghoulsーー

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

P5R Random Thoughts #2

(I am currently doing a blind playthrough of this game. Please no spoilers in the tags or notes if you can help it!)

So far I've seen two Persona awakenings: Joker's and Ryuji's. (Morgana already had a Persona so I'm curious about how he awakened but I presume the story will get to that later.)

The neat thing about the awakenings is that they are undeniable triumphs but also not a cure for their problems.

You might think, well duh, they've still got all the cruel things and people in the outside world to contend with - but I'm actually not talking about the external. I'm saying the awakenings are a breakthrough for their inner problems but that they don't "fix" their internal struggles completely.

It's really notable in Ryuji's awakening. Ryuji hears "you're a punk", "nobody's going to look beyond that", "you only cause problems for others", etc., and says. Yeah actually. I'm a punk. Let's roll, baby. And then awakens to a goddamn pirate which is great.

It's triumphant, because Ryuji doesn't say "that's not who I am", Ryuji says "actually, asshole, that's exactly who I am, and you have no right to look down on me for it". Tells him off for looking down on him while smiling then shoots him a cocky, arrogant grin right back. Good for him! *wipes tears* Good for him.

However... as much as this is a triumph, it also suggests some concerning things about the way Ryuji views himself. He spends the entirety of the build up before this point lamenting the fact that he can't do anything useful, even though he brought things with him that he thought would help. In fact, he near constantly brings it up and looks incredibly guilty about it - and what's more, when it comes to the track team and what happened, even though it was Kamoshida who aggravated him and broke his leg, Ryuji doesn't deny the accusation that the track team's disbanding was his fault. Ryuji accepts the notion that he causes problems for other people, when in actuality, he does his best to be as helpful as possible and hates people who take advantage of others. He's trying to offset all these internalized beliefs that he is somehow a "bad influence" and "nothing but trouble" - so, he's caught between the ideas of "I'm a bad influence. So what?" and "I'm a bad influence. I need to make up for that by pulling my weight as much as I possibly can." It seems Ryuji genuinely thinks he's not that great of a person which... come on. I hope we get a bit of resolution to this later on... because he's not a bad influence at all. At least, not on Joker. It's the other way around actually.

As for Joker, I've talked a bit before about how he has the spirit and the compassion and the raw anger to fight against injustice, but is currently rather directionless. The story will likely show him becoming more certain about his beliefs and convictions, and more importantly, what to do with them.

As for my other random thoughts so far:

Morgana is so self-interested and kind of hilariously morally grey. "They seem useful for my goals." "We don't have time to be worrying about other people!" (after they stopped to rescue him...) "Yeah you suck Blondie. Anyways, Frizzy Hair-" *points at shadow* "KILL." Is it bad that I find him genuinely amusing at this point?

Red-haired ponytail girl showed up and she's really, really nice to people. Like... to the point where I'm a bit suspicious? Ugh maybe this is just me being naturally mistrustful but she's really kind of overly nice, and it makes me feel like she's compensating? That plus the promise/deal she talked about at the beginning... I don't know. Consider me curious anyways. All those comments about how thin she is though... I hope she eats properly? Like this situation could easily be a suspicious one or it could be driven by insecurity and self-hatred. Or she could just be nice and I'm overthinking it.

Love the transitions and the way you can see other characters in the background sometimes before their proper introductions. The little details and the overall feel of the game is really nice. Like, I'm pretty sure the girl in the pink sweater is Haru, right? And you get a little bit about how she's maintaining a garden on the roof? (She seems precious, honestly.) Also Joker and Ryuji walked right past Sae and Sushi Boy, which is really funny to me. And in the main menu! If you switch too fast between options, Joker crashes into the screen dfhvndifjvn

Speaking of the menu, in the background, you can see Joker holding his hand up and out, which shields his face from player view, and the words "Don't look at me" in the background... hm... more characterization for the boy, I suppose

[blood-injections]

ooh tell me about amputee Ghoul whump (I was considering doing an amputee Kobra fic actually but I'm not sure how to write that so I'd be interested to hear your thoughts)

It's just a one shot about him having a prosthetic leg and having to accept help when soreness he's been ignoring all day catches up to him during a firefight and he can't walk back to the trans am and he's fucking frustrated because he feels like a liability, a cripple, and the others have to keep putting in his head that jeez no, just because you need help or mobility aids doesn't mean you're a liability to us >:(

Basically it's yet another fic in which I project on fun ghoul and put him in Situations, specifically ones I've been in lmao cause I'm an amputee myself. Anyway so ask me anytime if you're unsure how to write Kobra or any other character, it depends on the amputation, like I have a prosthetic leg so thats what I gave Ghoul, and I'm not really sure what specific things someone with say a missing arm would go through, but if they have a prosthetic, I'd imagine a lot of the same chronic pain and soreness, because your skin tends to get irritated easily in a socket, and if you sweat in it especially, the stump or wherever it rubs against you gets really raw really easily, rashes or blisters, hot spots, and when its like that it fucking hurts, I've had it bad a couple times and could hardly put any weight on my leg because every step just feels like you're getting stabbed or like a shock is shooting up your leg though your bones. And yikes, for a killjoy i can only imagine, living in the desert and being on your feet all day and sweating in that heat would be hell. It also depends like what kind of prosthetic, like if it's an actual one with a socket, they'd deal with that, but its danger days so what if they had a cybernetic one without a socket? They wouldn't have those hot spots but I imagine they'd be crazy sore wherever skin and metal connects, idk why but something tells me it'd be crazy itchy? Like, just past where it cybernetic part starts, a scratch you can never itch. And they could have phantom limb pain too if the character has lost the limb and didn't always have it like that. i dont know what thats like because i was born with my disability, but I'd imagine it's like dysphoria if anything, something aching thats not there, and then also wanting something or in this case, wanting something back so bad its agony, because if they lost their limb I'm sure they'd grieve it bad for a bit, maybe even forever, I know a lot of people that lose limbs struggle to accept that yeah, you're disabled now.

There's so may other things I could go into like parts breaking and how difficult it'd probably be to fix or replace them in the zones and mobility aid specifics and ohh the dehabilitating back pain you have if your prosthetic leg isnt the perfect length and your hips arent level, etc etc, if you do write the amputee kobra fic and need anything else im your guy :)

[soupedepates]

I gaze into the grey eyes of my tired lover.

"So you want to know?"

"Yes. Because I want to know you."

I smile and take her on my heart.

"I was born at the margin of a little town. Five kids reached maturity out of seven. I am the second one.

Although it was a city technically speaking, it felt like the countryside. We had hens in the backyard and two pigs.

Well, I met Tekla while playing outside with the neighbourhood's children. She was the daughter of the "weird lady in the woods". She was... odd. She always was.

I said first: "Go away, girls aren't allowed to play with us", you know, like a fool. Look at me now.

She took my younger brother's knife and started chopping her hair. She said then: "Now I am a boy like you, so I can play with you". For all of us, a girl should have long braids, and a boy should have an almost shaved head. To make it easier for mothers to fight against lice. So, of course, I shrugged and accepted her in our games.

If you're more of a hound, strong, fierce, and smarter than you seem, she was a rabbit. Easily frightened, but putting herself in danger all the time, with such eyes holding, in the honey of their irises, the mysteries of the universe. Her eyes were glittering gold in the sun and looked like raw honey otherwise. Big round eyes asking questions at everything. Her hair, once cut, couldn't be disciplined anymore. When it had regrew, it stayed a bushy mess.

I often called her an idiot hare. Because, you know, she knew she would get afraid, but did it anyway. And got paralysed by fear every single time.

When we started becoming more adults, I nicknamed her "bunny" fairly often. She gifted me my first dress. She was the only one who knew. I started to grow my hair because of her.

We got married at eighteen. We moved out quite far away; she wished to get away from her mother, who, for having met her a bunch of time, was a colossal bitch of a woman, and there were no place for me, no job I could pick up, and my older brother wanted me out of the house as soon as possible.

I never got along with him. We often fought. He used to find me too effeminate. Fuck, he was right. He did give me that scar. Don't worry, I broke some of his teeth and burst one of his eyes.

No, don't look at me like that. My father was a drunk and my mother was simple-minded, but we couldn't be called a bad-renowned family. They never laid hands on us. Never ever. And we were five hot-headed youths, always picking up fights. But we were honest people. My father worked at a workshop in the suburb, my mom worked for the same workshop, and we weren't rich by any mean, but neither were we poor. Lech was in an apprenticeship with the wheelwright. He just happened to be a dick. And as the only girl among four boys, even if they didn't know it, I had to be tougher than him. Mostly to piss him off.

So yeah. We got married and out of the town. We went near the ocean, in a small community. I worked on the fields and Tekla was a seamstress.

Oh, Tekla was a witch.

So yeah. I've never seen her sew, really. She cheated the system with her magic. She spent her time building us a home inside the cabin we bought with our savings.

I hunted to get meat on the table. I sold some of my venison, and we were starting to have quite a bit of money when I got her pregnant. We were, like, twenty. She wanted a child. I liked the idea of having a family before fixing my body. We had money for the baby, and we were stashing pieces for me to see a Love priest.

It was nowhere enough money, so I became a Hunter. Now we started to be a bit more comfortable. She carved herself the cradle.

Then... Well. It happened. I don't know how they knew, but they knew. First time I met the Inquisition. Someone had snitched on us - I knew who a bit later. They held me down on our bed and Tekla was crying and trying to escape their grip. There were eight of them.

I am strong. But three men were immobilising me. I struggled but was no match. I could scream at them. Did they even hear me? I don't think so. They forced her to let down her Glamour while threatening to kill our baby in her womb. But... They let me go without a mark. Tekla swore I never knew. She said she tricked me into believing she was a human. She lied to protect me.

They kept her in a cage next to their carriage for three days. With no food nor drink whatsoever. They got other witches in there. Poor girls. Some were barely teens.

Tekla said to me, the night before her death, while the stake was finally ready: "Don't cry, my little dove, I gave you all my love. I need you to be strong because I am so pitiful."

I was holding her feeble hand. She was shaking. My poor little bunny. Trapped in a cage. Famished. Dirty. Terrified. Still, she smiled. She needed me.

And she said: "Don't let go of my hand."

I didn't.

And she said: "You're beautiful. I am so happy to be loved by a beautiful woman."

I felt a weeping in my throat.

And she said: "Say you will save me. I beg you."

I couldn't lie.

And she said: "It's dark here, and I am scared."

Then the sun rose.

They tied her on the stake with the others. And they lit it on fire.

I saw her crying while her flesh was turning into ashes. While her bushy hair was caught in the flame.

And she ultimately stopped crying. She didn't have enough tears. I stayed strong. I stayed strong as she melted. She needed me to be strong.

When sun set, I found the snitch. I drew an arrow between his stupid eyes. He died on the spot. He should have suffered as much as Tekla suffered.

And I destroyed our home. With my bare hands. I shattered the cradle. Broke the toys. Tore all the clothes up. And the quilt too. Everything. It smelt like her and I was hoping to die here with her by the morning.

Early lights hit the threshold after a night of wailing. Pitiful, isn't it? I left forever furious. I wanted to reduce to shambles everything... Nothing mattered anymore, I was on my own now. And I only had to think about myself. I had to survive to spite them all off. I had to be better than them. I had to become egoistic, even if it meant losing the goodness in my heart. I was a dead girl walking, so why would I need a heart? It died while her skin melted...

Why are you crying?"

"It's tragic."

"It's me. I died this day. On the stake, next to her."

She holds me close.

"But with you, I feel like I'm alive again," I smile while stroking her hair.

[get-wr3ckered]

| Cuyan- (Mandalorian!OC) |

Summary: As the purge of Mandalore wages on around her, Iliana Byrnne desperately searches for her clan's foundlings. Warnings: Angst? SW cursing, canon-typical violence, mentions of injury and blood, an allusion to child death, purge of Mandalore.

Wordcount: 500+

Notes:

The timeline for this fic is a little ambiguous, I'm not 100% sure of the exact timeframe between order 66, the Mandalorian purge and Rex + the batch going to Saleucami.

Eventual oc x Omega (parental relationship)

Any Mando'a will be translated at the end.

I think I've added all the appropriate warnings and tags but if I've missed something or tagged it incorrectly feel free to let me know and I'll fix it asap!

Masterlist

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-Prologue: Mandalore, lost-

Smoke invaded Iliana's lungs, its talons digging into her chest and tearing at the flesh. The flicker of flames reflected off of her vizor, rubble shifting underfoot as she ran blindly. Her home was crumbling around her and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.

'The foundlings,' Her mind cried out with every step she took toward the nursery. She prayed, begging the gods not to let her be too late. 'I have to get to the foundlings!'

Every step was agonising and yet Iliana refused to let herself falter. The blaster shot to her abdomen, one of many wounds that had bloomed among the gaps in her armour burned incessantly, her every move pulling at the raw flesh and drawing fresh blood from between the wound's jagged edges.

She had watched too many of her brethren be gunned down. she'd played witness to too many full-fledged warriors falling right alongside the planet she cherished. If they could not stand against the onslaught, if they could fall so easily then what chance did the foundlings have?

Feet scuffing against debris, Iliana all but threw herself through the nursery doorway. Achingly she lifted her arm, bracing herself on the doorframe with her vambrace as the light on her helmet flickered to life.

Iliana's breath stalled within her throat, the sight before her threatening to stamp out the already dwindling flame that was her hope.

The ceiling had caved in, and broken fragments of duracrete lay strewn over the area where she'd once watched the foundlings play. The shattered glass that had once made up the windows littered the room. The nursery had been decimated.

And then her gaze caught something amongst the rubble. Something so small, so still. Her knees buckled, falling from under her as a sob tore through her throat.

A tiny, lifeless hand.

"NO!" Scrambling forward Iliana fought feebly to move the duracrete, her weakened state rendering the action useless. "Haar'chak."

"C-Cabur?" A meek voice called from the shadows, barely audible over the rumbling of more bombs dropping in the distance.

Iliana's head swivelled, surveying the room desperately. As if the gods had heard her pleas, there tucked into an alcove that had miraculously outlasted the waves of aftershock stood two foundlings, hands clasped together soot and dust clinging to their skin as tears carved a path down their cheeks.

Clambering over the rubble, Iliana fell at their sides in an instant. Reaching up, she cradled their cheeks carefully in her gloved palms. Checking them over seemed futile, a waste of precious time that none of them had and yet she did so anyway, fortunate to find nothing life-threatening upon either of their small forms.

Willfully ignorant of the ache in her muscles and swallowing down the pained grunt that rose like bile in her throat, Iliana lifted the two children into her arms. "I'm gonna get you out of here adike, I swear it. I won't let anything happen to either of you."

Burying their faces in the crook of her neck was the only response Iliana received as her feet moved once more. She tightened her hold on them, pushing herself to move faster. She intended to keep her promise to them, even if it took her dying breath to do so.

If only the universe had been on Iliana's side.

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Mando'a: Cuyan- survivor, Haar'chak- damn it, Cabur- guardian/ protector, Adike (plural of Ad'ika)- little ones Taglist:

Feel free to drop me a message to be added to the taglist!

[wisecrackingeric-2]

Summary:

Set ten years after the events of Resident Evil 4; Luis, Leon and Chris have been in a long-term relationship and finally decided to have a Son.

Only Luis finds out that being a Father reminds him of his a Grandfather more than he was expecting.

So one night when their Son wakes up crying, Luis decides to take it upon himself to comfort both himself his baby.

Absolute gut-wrenching Fluff ensues.

((While this Fic is supposed to be read as apart of my ‘Luis Serra Lives’ AU, it can be read as a stand-alone too! It can also be easily read as just a Leon/Luis Fic as Chris doesn’t make an in-person appearance))

A/N: Repost cuz I didint realise until now that I actually haven’t posted the fic itself onto Tumblr!!!! If y’all could check it out on AO3 too that would mean the world,, this work is very sentimental to me and yes I did almost cry writing it what of it

———

Luis wasn’t usually a light sleeper.

At least, he didn’t think he was. Not until he had his own child, that is.

Most nights nowadays were spent sandwiched against Leon or Chris- Whoever was home at the time- With his back facing their chests, and their arms draped protectively over his shoulders. Usually accompanied by one or the others’ legs being entangled between Luis’, too.

The two of them usually came home late, and if Luis wasn’t awake, they’d slip under the covers with him wordlessly- Knowing that they’d probably be forced to wake up earlier than their boyfriend in the morning, anyways.

But Luis didn’t mind. He never minded; Putting up with their grouchy, sleep-deprived attitudes and their constant old-married-couple back and forth banter was more than reasonable for him. Especially after everything.

August 2004 felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had changed and so many years passed that it was impossible for Luis to look back and feel any connection towards the man he once was.

He remembered- extremely vividly- lying on that cold, hard concrete and practically begging for Leon to tell him he was a good person during what he was convinced were his final moments. His mouth was full of blood and he could hardly keep a cigarette between his lips, let alone light it.

He’d asked Leon, in an act of desperation, ‘What do you think, Leon? People can change, right?’

It was a desperate plea for forgiveness. He wanted to change so badly yet he always still retraced those same habits that got him in that position in the first place. He thought back to his Grandfather in his ‘dying’ moments; And he wondered if he’d be ashamed or proud.

But Leon had saved him regardless. In every way a person could be saved. Not only did he literally shove some kind of miscellaneous herb into his mouth and pick him up to drape his bloody body over his shoulders- But once they’d arrived back in the USA, Leon did everything in his power to make sure Luis didn’t slip into that self-deprecating cycle of guilt and self-pity he seemed to be oh-so familiar with.

Leon proved to Luis that people could change. And not only that, but people were deserving of love regardless of what they have done.

Luis loved Leon in a way that was so undeniably human and raw and vulnerable it almost hurt at times.

The pair of them couldn’t keep their eyes- or hands- off of each other.

Then Luis was introduced to Chris Redfield; Big, friendly, puppydog-like Chris Redfield who so painfully obviously had the biggest crush on Leon it made Luis feel like he was going insane. The two of them would stammer and blush and shift their weight awkwardly every single time they were alone; And, hell, Luis would be lying if he said he didn’t find the guy attractive as all hell. So they approached him about the possibility of Polyamory;

And here they all were, ten years later, so ingrained and fixed in each other's lives that they practically couldn’t be seen apart from one another. Their day-to-day was so domestic- so routine- And Luis wouldn’t have had it any other way.

If you had asked him ten years ago where he thought he’d be in life, his answer would probably be dead.

Past-Luis probably couldn’t have even fathomed being so unabashedly loved, so unashamedly domestic and genuinely happy.

Was he always happy? No, far from it, in fact. There were plenty of nights where he still felt the ghost of Krauser's knife holed in his spine, or the squirming Plagas inside of his chest like a ghost limb. Sometimes his face still grew hot from the memories of his Grandfather burning alive in his childhood home. He found it hard to fall asleep by himself sometimes- So Leon and Chris would always make an effort to comfort him. One of them would be pressed up against his back, and the other laying across his chest. Reminding him with their physical bodies that he was Ok.

Tonight was exactly one of those nights; Luis had been tossing and turning in his sleep relentlessly since he got home and shed himself of his usual Lab coat. Although the agreement with the US government was that he’d tag along with Leon on missions, he found himself working in the Labs with Rebecca more often than not- And of course, that eventually turned into a full-time job after Leon had finally retired.

Still, though, Luis came home later than expected. And the days stress weighing down on him seemed to trigger some deep-seeded memories from his childhood that he’d rather not forget.

That seemed to usually be his brain's go-to trauma response, at least; ‘Flash some memories of your Grandfather while you try to sleep and you’ll be A-OK’.

Luis couldn’t remember when he had made it to his bed- Nor could he remember when Leon had slipped under the sheets beside him- But he hardly slept regardless. He tried counting sheep and snuggling into his partner's embrace; but nothing helped. There wasn’t even anything specific that was causing this lack of sleep. He just.. Couldn’t. He just had to let his brain replay memories of his childhood with his Grandfather like an awfully cruel movie.

So when the sound of his Son’s crying filled the air in an ear-piercing scream, Luis was already prepared and sitting up on his elbows before Leon had even stirred awake.

“I’ll go get the baby,”

Luis whispered, leaning over to kiss Leon on the temple of his head before forcing himself up straight.

His voice was husky and gravelly, and despite having been awake for at least a few hours his limbs were all still too stiff to avoid a popping noise when they stretched.

Leon responded with a quiet ‘hhhhrmmphhh’ before he shuffled back down under the covers, pressing the ends of his blanket up to his ears in an attempt to drown out the baby’s crying.

Luis just huffed a laugh at the sorry sight of his tired partner and got up on his feet with a groan.

Standing up to exit their shared bedroom, Luis did his best to tie up his long, graying salt-and-pepper hair in a messy half-ponytail with the hair tie he always insisted on having wrapped around his wrists. Years ago, Luis had insisted to Leon that ‘He wasn’t trying to grow his hair out, he just didn't trust the barbers’.

But ten years later with his hair reaching his mid-back at this point, that was obviously a lie. Besides, Luis liked it like this; From what he could remember, his Grandfather always kept his hair long, so it was sentimental in a weird way.

“Loooeeeeesss….”

Leon reached an arm out from beneath the blankets to grab at his’, blue eyes blinking slowly to try and adjust to the light.

“Mwhere are you goin’ love…?”

“I just told you,” Luis chuckled, “I’m gonna go put Matteo back to sleep”

Leon made a noise of protest and tried to sit up from underneath his sheets, pulling Luis in closer by the arm.

“Nonono, don’ get up, I can go get him..”

“Sssshhhh, just go back to bed mí amor,”

Luis gently pushed Leon back down onto his pillow with one hand, leaning over to press a sleepy kiss against his lips.

“I was already up. You just go back to sleep, sí?”

The blonde huffed a reluctant sigh but still sunk back under the covers regardless. His lips were pursed in a little pout as he let go of Luis’ hand.

“But you’re always up to get him. Y’know I’m happy to do it once ‘n a while, right?”

Luis paused for a moment, biting his lip as he tried to figure out how he should respond. Leon was half-asleep, a quarter of the way to being absolutely dead to the world; but he was still right.

Luis was always the one to go put Matteo back to bed when he woke up screaming like this.

He always insisted that Chris or Leon stay in bed, go back to sleep; And tonight was no exception. But being faced with the question he suddenly found that he couldn’t actually figure out why.

Luis always just assumed that it was the least he could do in return. Chris and Leon, despite being ‘retired’, were still constantly called into the office or on smaller Ops- Sometimes for days at a time, even. And while Luis had his day job with Rebecca in the labs, they were much more forgiving when it came to time off.

His two lovers had given him the entire world, in his mind. They’d given him a space to live and to grow as a person and they’d given him more love than any other human being had ever shown him; and most importantly, they gave him the opportunity to be a Father. They all were.

He got the opportunity of a lifetime to look after someone just as his Grandfather had looked after him.

So maybe Luis just wanted to repay them in some way.

They always insisted he didn’t need to do that; that him just being there was more than enough.

But that nagging voice in the back of his head never left, no matter how hard he tried.

“I know…”

Was all Luis could respond with, his voice a little deflated in defeat.

“Just… Just let me do this for you, just this once. ¿Ok, cariño?”

“Okay…” Leon yawned, his voice still slightly reluctant as he snuggled his face further into the pillow. And like a light, he was out within seconds.

Luis smiled and huffed a breath of air through his nose at the sight of his sleepy partner. With one final ruffle of his blonde hair, Luis was snapped back to reality when he heard his Son wailing once more from upstairs.

Luis made his way up to the second floor with a slouched posture and dragging feet; he slipped his reading glasses on somewhere half-way up, and was thoroughly greeted by the high-pitched cries of his baby the second the door creaked open.

Matteo’s room was simple; It didn’t need to be very big, after all (And even so, it was bigger than Luis’ old childhood room with his Grandfather.)

The walls were covered in pastel blue-and-pink flowers painted on courtesy of Ashley one weekend, and the roof was littered in pale blue, glow-in-the-dark stars.

Matteo's cot sat tucked up against the wall, and stuffed toys littering the floor where they must’ve slipped off and landed in a maze-like heap. Luis could just barely make out his Son’s silhouette against the bars of the cot;

And Luis’ heart promptly shattered into a million pieces when he saw Matteo reach out his little baby-arms into the sky at the sound of his entering the room.

Luis skilfully stepped over the pile of toys laying across his floor, before pressing a gentle hand against the wooden bars of Matteo’s cot.

Just as expected, the baby had kicked his blankets off- Probably the cause of his screaming- And had his tiny hands balled up in even tinier fists as big, fat tears fell down his chubby cheeks.

Luis cooed in an attempt to keep himself from crying.

“Ssssshhhhh… ¿ver? Estoy aquí, Teo…”

His words were more for soothing himself rather than the baby as he felt his voice grow wobbly at the sight. Ever since ‘Teo’ was born, Luis became an absolute crybaby- Chris and Leon teased him about it constantly, but never in a mean-spirited way.

Seeing his Son in any kind of discomfort felt worse than any knife to the back ever could; His heart squeezed and all he wanted to do was wipe away those tears forever and never let go of his little boy until he was smiling and laughing again. He wanted to hold and cradle him every second of the day- and if he could, he would.

‘You’re always hogging our son’, Leon had teased one day, watching Luis bounce their kid against his hip. From beside him, Chris reached over to give Matteo a kiss on the cheek.

‘Yeah, you never let us hold him’

‘¡Tu idiotas! You can hold him if you want!’ Luis had responded, feeling a little guilty. But his partner's laughter confirmed it was only a joke.

‘Ignore us, Luis. Teo likes it more when you hold him anyways’

‘He likes it more when you guys tuck him into bed’, Luis had offered, earning laughter from Leon, whose index finger was being held tightly by Teo’s little hands.

Luis was promptly broken out of his trip down memory lane by another sharp, high-pitched scream out of Matteo’s mouth, and although Luis did his best to soothe his Son by rubbing the pads of his thumb across his reddened and tear-stained chubby cheeks- It was no use. Matteo kept screaming and grabbing his hands out into the air, trying to reach for Luis’ long locks.

Through the screaming, Luis couldn’t help but chuckle a little; Teo was always grabbing onto his hair one way or another. He figured it must’ve been some kind of self-comforting baby thing, so he just let him. Matteo hardly ever pulled at it, anyways. He just kinda… held on.

No matter how hard Luis tried to sway his baby boy back to sleep from above the cot, it was all for naught. He just kept crying and wailing, and the longer it went on, the more Luis couldn’t handle seeing his Son in tears like this.

So against his better judgment, Luis cupped his hands underneath his small back and lifted him up with a small ‘There we go…’, cupping the baby’s head inbetween his hand and elbow, firmly grasping onto his leg with the other.

Luis had very quickly figured out that the usual bouncing and ‘there-there’s did not work on his Son. The motion only served to make his crying worse generally, so the brunette resorted to- extremely softly- rocking Matteo back and forth in his arms.

That only worked for a couple moments before Teo was back to wailing again. This time slightly quieter, Luis noted to himself victoriously. He silently wondered if he ever cried as much when his Grandfather took care of him.

He couldn’t tell if he was just tired and therefor had his emotions dialed up to 100 (You know what they say; Never trust your brain past 10:00 PM) Or if he was genuinely upset by his Son’s crying, but Luis felt practically desperate to get him to stop. He didn’t even care about the noise; Just seeing his little bundle of joy’s face all scrunched up and wet from big, fat tears rolling down his face was infinitely more worrying to him than the noise.

So, as gently as possible, Luis bought Matteo up to his face, and after pressing his delicate little forehead against his, Luis started to place feather-light kisses against his baby’s skin. He placed them so tenderly that his own skin tingled from the sensation. As if Matteo was made from porcelain.

And to Luis, he may as well have been.

Every tiny action, every small breath was met with internal cringing- Luis was so self-conscious of just how unfathomably small Matteo was that even just brushing his nose up against the baby’s was enough to make his heart squeeze in worry.

But, at least there was one bright side; Matteo was slowly starting to quieten down his wailing. Every pillowy kiss against his plush skin forced Matteo to stop howling until eventually his voice was broken down to cracked sobs.

But even that seemed to come with it’s own price; Matteo never stopped crying. Screams were replaced with wobbly little whimpers and whines, and his bottom lip quivered every time those big tears of his fell down his chin.

Luis didn’t even know it was possible for his heart to ache with empathy more than it already had, and he secretly wished Matteo would just start screaming again so he didn’t have to see his beautiful boy sobbing silently like this.

“Nonononono, no llores niño hermoso, no llores…”

Luis pressed his forehead up against Matteo’s and squeezed his eyes shut, dipping him just a tiny bit so that his long, curly hair would fall over Teo’s head like a curtain; engulfing the baby in darkness even further. He pressed kisses against Matteo’s small nose and wiped away the tears with his own- At least he tried to with his fast they were falling.

“Deja de llorar por mí, sí? Deja de llorar… Deja de llorar…”

Luis tried to hum in between his words of encouragement, and even though Matteo probably couldn’t understand him- It seemed to be working regardless.

“¿Ver? Ahí tienes, no llores nena, lo estás haciendo tan bien… Tan bueno para mí, Teo”

All Luis could do was let his words of encouragement and comfort sink into his Son's skin, even if he couldn’t fully understand them. He hoped that somehow the message got through regardless of their language barrier, that by some miracle, Matteo understood what Luis was trying to tell him and took it to heart.

“Te amo, Teo. ¿Tú lo sabes? Te amo mucho más de lo que podrías saber. Te amaré pase lo que pase”

Luis couldn’t tell who he was talking to at this point; Matteo or himself. But it didn’t matter either way. His words rung truer than anything that had ever come out of his mouth.

Luis had spent so much of his life lying. He’d spent so much of it running and selling his soul to the highest bidder that he’d almost forgotten what it was like to be so open and vulnerable with someone.

His Grandfather’s cottage, Valdelobos, Umbrella, Los Illuminados; The names blended together in his mind at this point.

He’d spent too long running.

He found out what a true chance at life looked like and it looked like Leon, Chris and Matteo.

Every stereotype and throwaway comment that Luis heard about how staring at your baby is like ‘Love at first sight’ was so unbelievably true; Luis just wished he could express his love in a way his beautiful boy could understand.

But Matteo still remained awake. His tears had almost come to a complete halt with Luis’ soft words, but he was still staring up at his dad with those big, sleepless, curious brown eyes; it made Luis chuckle.

“No puedo dormir, ¿Oye? Yo tampoco puedo…”

Luis hummed thoughtfully for a moment, methodically running his thumb across Matteo’s soft, thin brown hair before coming up with an idea. He smiled at the thought alone, and almost felt his heart leap out of his throat when Matteo half-smiled back.

Luis began to rock Matteo back and forth as he began to sing a song he just barely remembered his Grandfather singing to him when he was just a boy;

“Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,

Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón,”

Luis smiled as Matteo began to quietly babble in response, holding him even closer.

“Este niño mío que nació de noche

Quiere que lo lleve a pasear en coche.”

Matteo reached out his tiny hands to grasp at Luis’ stubble, running his fingers over the hair as his little eyes began to droop lower and lower. It took all of Luis’ energy not to grab his face and squeeze him with a million kisses right then and there.

“Este niño mío que nació de día quiere que lo lleve a la dulcería,”

Luis let his eyes flutter shut as Matteo yawned and lulled his head to the side. Tiny even breaths let the brunette know that his Son had fallen asleep- Yet he kept singing, determined to finish the song. Just like his Grandfather always would.

“Duérmete mí niño, duérmete mí amor,

Duérmete pedazo de mí corazón.”

Once the lullaby had softly ended, Luis just stood there. Cradling Matteo in his arms silently. The only light source being from the small, glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the ceiling. Not a single creak could be heard, in sharp comparison to just a moment ago. The loudest noise in that room were Matteo’s tiny breaths.

Luis didn’t want to let go. Leon and Chris teased him about it all the time, but he truly, truly didn’t want to part with his beautiful boy. He didn’t want this moment to end. A moment that felt so precious and so loving that Luis knew he was bound to remember it for years to come.

Luis wanted to protect Matteo with his whole world- he knew it was unrealistic, and that eventually, his Son would grow up to be his very own person- but that didn’t mean the need wasn’t still there. Luis had seen things that no single human being should have ever experienced, and yet his own baby crying was somehow worse than all of that combined. He never wanted to see Matteo cry again. He wanted to hold him and kiss him and shelter him from anything that could ever hurt him.

Just like his Grandfather had for Luis all those years ago.

That was almost entirely the reason Luis had approached Leon and Chris about the idea of having a child in the first place;

He wanted to be just like his Grandfather.

It was strange. The older he got, the less he remembered of the man- yet the more he missed him like a child. Luis thought about him quite often. And even more so now that he was a father himself.

In retrospect, his Grandfather was hardly there in his life for a very long time. He was only ten- maybe twelve at the most- years old when he had died. Yet Luis remembered as clear as day the way his knees trembled and his fists balled up hard enough for his fingernails to be imprinted onto his palms when he watched his childhood home burst into flames. He stared at that fire until it was nothing but ashes in the morning, quite literally.

Luis had gone through all the stages of grief a million times over. He used to be mad at his Grandfather for hiding that wolf’s bite that inevitably lead him to becoming sick; he used to resent him, in fact, insisting that his work as a biologist would be enough to reprimand it.

Luis used to beg for his Grandfather to come back- and, hell, he still sometimes did. He still cried like the grief was fresh, and he still found constant solace and comfort in Leon and Chris’ arms.

Luis remembered nothing but good things about his Grandfather.

He remembered how the two of them would go fishing on warm afternoons.

How he’d make him tomato soup every night after dinner.

He remembered how wise and intricate his words seemed to seven-year-old-Luis, when in actuality, he was just speaking fancy English.

He remembered how his Grandfather still encouraged his Trans identity and love for Biology despite their circumstances.

He remembered how he’d encouraged Luis’ fantasies surrounding Don Quixote- how he’d recreate the fantastical scenes and read him every version of the books under the sun back-to-front just so he could fall asleep.

Hell, Luis still kept an old copy of Don Quixote in Matteo’s room just for good luck; him and his two partners had even agreed on the name for their baby after seeing the name ‘Matteo’ in the credits of a Don Quixote adaptation and finding it stuck. Luis hoped someday he’d be able to read his favorite book ever to Teo and he’d enjoy just as much as he did.

When Luis said he wanted to be a father;

What he really meant was he wanted to be like his Grandfather.

He wanted to give that same undying love and affection to another person. He wanted to be his Son’s hero and somebody who could protect him from anything.

He wanted to be there for Matteo in a way his Grandfather never could before he died;

He wanted to watch Matteo grow up and live a full life.

Just like how his Grandfather always wanted.

Luis wanted to be there for Matteo right until the very end.

Luis wanted to be just like his Grandfather for Matteo. He wanted to make him proud.

“Te quiero mucho, Teo. También habrías amado a mí Abuelo.”

Luis hadn't even noticed he’d begun crying, let alone the quiet footsteps from behind him until a small knock on the door allerted him to another presence in the room. He was forced out of his forehead-touching position with Matteo to look around and see Leon leaning against the doorframe; his appearance tired and disheveled with a soft smile still on his face.

“How’s Teo?”

“He’s good,” Luis smiled, whispering lightly.

“I just got him back to sleep.”

Leon made his way to Luis’ side and cupped his Son’s head with one hand, leaning down to press a gentle, cautious kiss on his head.

Luis’ eyes never broke away from Teo’s face, even as Leon leaned his head against his shoulder. The brunette reciprocated, feeling his partner let out a sigh of relief.

“Where’s Chris?”

Luis broke the silence, desperate for some conversation. He felt like he was about to burst into tears if he didn’t talk soon.

“He’s staying with the Winter’s tonight, remember?”

The brunette just hummed at Leon’s response. Ethan Winters; the name sounded familiar. He was pretty sure they were expecting a child soon, too. Chris seemed to be very protective over him; Which seemed deserved after what he heard they’d been through. Luis hoped he’d get to meet them someday.

Another beat of silence.

“…Luis?”

Leon finally spoke up, his voice soft; as if their tender moment was made of porcelain.

“…Are you Ok?”

“I’m fine.” Luis was quick to answer. Too quick. Leon gave him that look and his partner was forced to relent, shaking his head slightly with a small smile. If he wasn’t smiling, he’d probably be crying.

“I will be fine,”

Luis corrected himself. Leon always knew when something was up, and Luis didn’t have the heart (or the energy) to try to lie. He wore his heart on his sleeve in his old age.

“I’m just… I don’t know. Difícul de explicar. Words don’t seem to cut it.”

“I understand.” Was all Leon said in response, snuggling further into the crook of his neck as his hand remained on Teo’s head.

Luis was grateful Leon didn’t try to pry further.

The silence between them, however, was too much for Luis to bear. To keep himself from breaking down and potentially waking Matteo up, he gave his Son one last kiss on the forehead- letting it linger for a couple moments- before slipping him back into his cot and pulling the up blankets over him.

‘Buenes noches, niño hermoso”

He whispered, running the pad of his thumb against his cheeks for a beat before he reluctantly pried himself away from his sleeping Son.

The second he turned around to face Leon, it was like all of the night's anxieties and grief caught up to him in an instant; his body suddenly felt like lead and his eyes stung with tears.

He could barely make out Leon’s expression in the darkness, but he knew from gut instinct alone that it was one of sympathy.

“L-Leon…?”

Luis whimpered, his lips quivering as his eyes welled up.

“D-Do you think my Grandfather w-would be proud of me…?”

Leon’s posture softened in an instant.

“Oh, Luis…”

Luis couldn’t hold it together much longer; he collapsed into Leon’s arms in an instant, feeling awfully small and vulnerable as he cried silently into his partner's shoulder. He could hear Leon murmur some reassuring words from above him, but he couldn’t make them out; the blondes chin rested atop his head as his arms squeezed him tight, rocking Luis back-and-fourth in an attempt to soothe him.

Luis, ironically, felt a little bit like how Teo must’ve been feeling just a moment ago.

“You wanna know something, Luis?”

Leon finally said loud enough for him to hear, pulling away just slightly so he could cup Luis’ face in his hands; wiping away the tears from his cheeks.

“Your Grandfather would be so, so proud of you. I know that for a fact. He would be over the moon for you”

“B-but w-w-what if I’m n-not doing e-enough for T-Teo? I-I j-just w-wanna be like m-mí A-Abuelo..-“

“You’re doing more than enough, Luis. You’re going so above and beyond you have no idea. Listen to me,”

Leon grabbed his chin and forced him to make eye contact.

“You’re not alone. You understand? You have us. And if your Grandfather were still alive, he would be by your side and telling you what an incredible job you’re doing. You are the best Father, understood? Your Grandfather would be so proud of you.”

That was enough for Luis to break down into tired, open-mouthed sobs against Leon’s chest. The two of them had to return to their own bedroom to keep Matteo from waking up; But it was worth it.

Luis stayed curled up against Leon for the entire night, having his hair combed through by his partner's hands as he cried against his shirt.

Luis eventually fell asleep. And for the first time in quite a while, he actually had a decent night's sleep.

He had Leon. He had Chris, and he had Matteo.

He promised to himself that he would make his Grandfather proud.

He would be a good Father to Teo. He would do anything for his beautiful boy.

And nothing in the world could ever change that.